1 00:00:02,720 --> 00:00:03,680 Speaker 1: Life Audio. 2 00:00:06,559 --> 00:00:10,200 Speaker 2: Welcome to the Team US podcast, where we share how grace, commitment, 3 00:00:10,320 --> 00:00:13,360 Speaker 2: and cooperation can help couples live the everyday moments of 4 00:00:13,440 --> 00:00:14,840 Speaker 2: marriage together. 5 00:00:15,520 --> 00:00:18,639 Speaker 1: Hi everyone, We're Ted and Ashley Slater. We're about a 6 00:00:18,680 --> 00:00:20,959 Speaker 1: month into the new year and we're back with brand 7 00:00:21,040 --> 00:00:24,120 Speaker 1: new episodes. Today, we're talking about how you can team 8 00:00:24,200 --> 00:00:27,400 Speaker 1: up not just for the new year, but for every day, week, 9 00:00:27,560 --> 00:00:35,880 Speaker 1: and month of that year. Now, in our last episode, 10 00:00:35,880 --> 00:00:37,960 Speaker 1: if we told you we'd be talking about safeguards for 11 00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:40,880 Speaker 1: your marriage in this episode, we're still going to be 12 00:00:41,000 --> 00:00:43,519 Speaker 1: unpacking those, but we decided to save that topic for 13 00:00:43,560 --> 00:00:46,800 Speaker 1: a future episode. Since this one is our first episode 14 00:00:46,840 --> 00:00:49,559 Speaker 1: of twenty twenty three, we wanted to talk about being 15 00:00:49,640 --> 00:00:52,479 Speaker 1: a united team as you enter into this year, and 16 00:00:52,560 --> 00:00:55,200 Speaker 1: because our years are made of months, and our months 17 00:00:55,200 --> 00:00:57,760 Speaker 1: are made of weeks, and our weeks are made of days, 18 00:00:57,880 --> 00:00:58,360 Speaker 1: days are. 19 00:00:58,240 --> 00:01:03,840 Speaker 2: Made of hours. Second, we get back right, anyway, that 20 00:01:03,920 --> 00:01:04,240 Speaker 2: was good? 21 00:01:04,360 --> 00:01:07,160 Speaker 1: Yeah, we don't want to limit this discussion to just 22 00:01:07,560 --> 00:01:11,000 Speaker 1: the year. But before we jump in, we're going to 23 00:01:11,000 --> 00:01:12,920 Speaker 1: give you a little update on our lives. Since it's 24 00:01:12,959 --> 00:01:15,440 Speaker 1: been a few weeks since you guys have heard from us. 25 00:01:16,360 --> 00:01:19,280 Speaker 1: We moved into our new house, we closed on it, 26 00:01:19,360 --> 00:01:22,600 Speaker 1: moved in. It's a little weird process though. 27 00:01:22,480 --> 00:01:24,520 Speaker 2: I've ye how long we have been waiting. 28 00:01:24,760 --> 00:01:26,200 Speaker 1: I think we shared that, but yeah. 29 00:01:26,040 --> 00:01:27,880 Speaker 2: Go ahead was seventeen eighteen months. 30 00:01:27,959 --> 00:01:30,480 Speaker 1: It was almost eighteen months, and then when we did 31 00:01:30,480 --> 00:01:35,640 Speaker 1: finally close, they weren't exactly finished with everything, so we 32 00:01:35,680 --> 00:01:39,840 Speaker 1: couldn't even right appliance is in no. I think they 33 00:01:39,840 --> 00:01:43,400 Speaker 1: had appliances because they couldn't get the occupancy without the appliances. 34 00:01:43,920 --> 00:01:46,480 Speaker 1: But the backsplash in the kitchen were still going in 35 00:01:46,920 --> 00:01:50,600 Speaker 1: no gate, which we do have now. I'm trying to 36 00:01:50,640 --> 00:01:52,800 Speaker 1: remember there was a long. 37 00:01:52,640 --> 00:01:53,600 Speaker 2: List there was. 38 00:01:53,680 --> 00:01:56,080 Speaker 1: They're checking it all off though we're almost at the 39 00:01:56,120 --> 00:01:59,280 Speaker 1: point now we've been in the house or we closed 40 00:02:00,200 --> 00:02:04,080 Speaker 1: almost two holes ago. Yeah, but there's only a few 41 00:02:04,080 --> 00:02:07,800 Speaker 1: things left for them to do. It was weird, though, 42 00:02:07,840 --> 00:02:10,520 Speaker 1: because you know, we waited so long, as you said, 43 00:02:10,639 --> 00:02:14,440 Speaker 1: like the seventeen eighteenth months that I anticipated I would 44 00:02:14,440 --> 00:02:17,200 Speaker 1: feel so excited and relieved when we closed, and I 45 00:02:17,240 --> 00:02:19,880 Speaker 1: didn't feel those feelings. It was really weird as. 46 00:02:19,720 --> 00:02:22,440 Speaker 2: It wasn't full closure. They're still doing a lot of stuff. 47 00:02:22,880 --> 00:02:24,560 Speaker 2: I think we're feeling we're making. 48 00:02:24,320 --> 00:02:26,760 Speaker 1: Memories now, right and I'm starting to feel excited. I 49 00:02:26,840 --> 00:02:30,280 Speaker 1: love our house. Oh yeah, it just it was just weird. 50 00:02:30,720 --> 00:02:34,080 Speaker 2: It was weird, no doubt about that. And you know 51 00:02:34,120 --> 00:02:37,120 Speaker 2: how that verse hope defer makes a heart sick, and 52 00:02:37,160 --> 00:02:40,840 Speaker 2: you tend to think of it as a first or singles. Yeah, 53 00:02:41,800 --> 00:02:44,040 Speaker 2: it applies to It applies to all sorts of things, 54 00:02:44,080 --> 00:02:47,720 Speaker 2: including eighteen months waiting for your house to be built 55 00:02:47,760 --> 00:02:50,160 Speaker 2: and all these missed opportunities to make memories in your 56 00:02:50,200 --> 00:02:52,600 Speaker 2: new house. Right, that was the toughest thing. We're making 57 00:02:52,639 --> 00:02:54,160 Speaker 2: memories in somebody else's house. 58 00:02:55,120 --> 00:02:55,960 Speaker 1: Now we're in our house. 59 00:02:56,000 --> 00:02:57,080 Speaker 2: We are yes. 60 00:02:57,760 --> 00:03:00,760 Speaker 1: And we celebrated our twentieth wedding anniversary, and we really 61 00:03:00,800 --> 00:03:03,480 Speaker 1: put into practice the part of our vows that said 62 00:03:03,520 --> 00:03:04,200 Speaker 1: in sickness. 63 00:03:05,480 --> 00:03:09,640 Speaker 2: Yeah, twentieth wedding anniversary. And I think I was laying 64 00:03:09,680 --> 00:03:12,640 Speaker 2: in bed, like sleeping sick. 65 00:03:13,080 --> 00:03:17,120 Speaker 1: Right, yes, yeah, I mean we'll just say it. You 66 00:03:17,160 --> 00:03:17,720 Speaker 1: got COVID. 67 00:03:17,960 --> 00:03:20,680 Speaker 2: Yeah, we got COVID again, the second time. 68 00:03:20,720 --> 00:03:22,480 Speaker 1: In one year. Because the last time you had it 69 00:03:22,560 --> 00:03:24,560 Speaker 1: was like New Year's twenty twenty two. 70 00:03:24,720 --> 00:03:26,640 Speaker 2: Right, it was worse that time because I was like, 71 00:03:27,320 --> 00:03:30,359 Speaker 2: I just slept twenty hours a day. I was just success. 72 00:03:30,720 --> 00:03:32,840 Speaker 1: It was scary the first time. This time you were 73 00:03:32,960 --> 00:03:33,720 Speaker 1: just sick. 74 00:03:34,240 --> 00:03:40,119 Speaker 2: Yeah, just sick. So for guys is always worse, you know, right? 75 00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:41,560 Speaker 2: Is that the way it is? 76 00:03:41,800 --> 00:03:45,120 Speaker 1: When I got COVID, I just kept going, well, because 77 00:03:45,160 --> 00:03:46,760 Speaker 1: you have to, That's what I say. 78 00:03:46,880 --> 00:03:52,240 Speaker 2: The house running, I'm just sort of around for comedic effect. 79 00:03:53,040 --> 00:03:55,960 Speaker 1: No, we have our different roles and different things that 80 00:03:56,000 --> 00:03:59,600 Speaker 1: we keep going. But fortunately we are going on a 81 00:03:59,640 --> 00:04:02,760 Speaker 1: cruise in March for our twentieth wedding anniversary. 82 00:04:03,160 --> 00:04:05,600 Speaker 2: Honestly, what I'm looking forward to the most, Oh, I 83 00:04:05,640 --> 00:04:07,720 Speaker 2: was gonna say something else. What I'm what I'm looking 84 00:04:07,760 --> 00:04:10,320 Speaker 2: forward to the most is spending quality time with you. 85 00:04:11,400 --> 00:04:12,920 Speaker 1: Were you really going to say. 86 00:04:14,680 --> 00:04:17,760 Speaker 2: At night when we're out on the water looking up 87 00:04:17,839 --> 00:04:22,080 Speaker 2: at the stars. Honestly, that's I've never dine anything like that. 88 00:04:22,160 --> 00:04:25,680 Speaker 2: And I've heard there are like millions of stars. I've 89 00:04:25,720 --> 00:04:27,480 Speaker 2: never had proof, like with my own eyes. 90 00:04:27,560 --> 00:04:28,880 Speaker 1: So you're gonna see a lot of stars. 91 00:04:28,920 --> 00:04:29,880 Speaker 2: I'm gonna see a lot of stit. 92 00:04:29,800 --> 00:04:32,039 Speaker 1: And it's it's a weird like these. I have gone 93 00:04:32,080 --> 00:04:35,719 Speaker 1: on a cruise with our oldest daughter and it's crazy. 94 00:04:35,720 --> 00:04:37,760 Speaker 1: When you're out there, it's just water, It's just water 95 00:04:37,800 --> 00:04:38,200 Speaker 1: and sky. 96 00:04:38,520 --> 00:04:41,880 Speaker 2: Yeah, I think I'll like that. Thank you will is 97 00:04:41,920 --> 00:04:45,039 Speaker 2: a gooraphobia, fear of open spaces to Hope, I don't 98 00:04:45,040 --> 00:04:45,360 Speaker 2: get that. 99 00:04:45,640 --> 00:04:48,719 Speaker 1: I think it's that remember our spiders. I don't remember what. 100 00:04:48,920 --> 00:04:51,120 Speaker 2: That's racking of food? Oh, okay, gooraphobia. 101 00:04:51,440 --> 00:04:53,920 Speaker 1: Where's that small space? I don't know, We'll look it 102 00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:59,160 Speaker 1: up later. Claustrophobia, Joe, You're right, it's got to be okay. Well, anyway, 103 00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:02,000 Speaker 1: that was all to youenty twenty two. But I feel 104 00:05:02,040 --> 00:05:06,840 Speaker 1: like January started out with some frustrations for us. Stop Like, 105 00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:09,000 Speaker 1: we did have to have some stuff fixed on our 106 00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:12,560 Speaker 1: brand new house. There was some flooring issues upstairs, so 107 00:05:12,600 --> 00:05:15,039 Speaker 1: they had to pull the carpet up and fix that 108 00:05:15,680 --> 00:05:20,440 Speaker 1: lights smallest right. We had some issues with our rental 109 00:05:20,560 --> 00:05:24,760 Speaker 1: dirocurity broken. Yeah, but they're coming to fix that. Yeah, 110 00:05:25,000 --> 00:05:27,840 Speaker 1: our rental some security to Prentiss, did. 111 00:05:27,800 --> 00:05:29,919 Speaker 2: You stop belly aching? Brows down? 112 00:05:30,120 --> 00:05:35,599 Speaker 1: The point that I'm going for is that sometimes the 113 00:05:35,640 --> 00:05:39,279 Speaker 1: new year starts awesome, but sometimes it starts a little rocky. 114 00:05:39,960 --> 00:05:42,880 Speaker 2: Yeah. There's a lot of ambiguity in rockiness, and. 115 00:05:42,839 --> 00:05:46,800 Speaker 1: I think that today's podcast, whether those of you listening 116 00:05:47,520 --> 00:05:49,960 Speaker 1: have had the new year start great, or have had 117 00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:53,200 Speaker 1: it start a little rocky like us, that you'll hopefully 118 00:05:53,240 --> 00:05:56,760 Speaker 1: be encouraged as you seek to live the everyday moments 119 00:05:57,160 --> 00:05:59,920 Speaker 1: of marriage with grace, commitment and cooperation. 120 00:06:00,640 --> 00:06:03,039 Speaker 2: Grace commitment, cooperation. Did we talk about that and we 121 00:06:03,040 --> 00:06:03,800 Speaker 2: can use podcast? 122 00:06:03,839 --> 00:06:05,880 Speaker 1: Yeah, we talk about it all the time, but I 123 00:06:05,920 --> 00:06:08,520 Speaker 1: think we might have unpacked it in the very first episode. 124 00:06:09,240 --> 00:06:13,360 Speaker 1: So I have three practical things to share that can 125 00:06:13,440 --> 00:06:18,400 Speaker 1: help us and can help other couples team up. But 126 00:06:18,440 --> 00:06:21,560 Speaker 1: before we jump into that, come on, if I have 127 00:06:21,720 --> 00:06:25,760 Speaker 1: all of these, well, you don't do that, Okay. I 128 00:06:25,800 --> 00:06:28,400 Speaker 1: want to touch on something that a friend asked us 129 00:06:28,400 --> 00:06:30,880 Speaker 1: to talk about because I recently posted on Facebook, Hey 130 00:06:30,920 --> 00:06:32,840 Speaker 1: give us ideas on things that you want to hear 131 00:06:32,880 --> 00:06:35,400 Speaker 1: on the podcast, And this friend had asked that we 132 00:06:35,440 --> 00:06:38,880 Speaker 1: talk about spiritual warfare in marriage. And I think this 133 00:06:38,960 --> 00:06:43,040 Speaker 1: is important as we're discussing daily unity with our spouses 134 00:06:43,080 --> 00:06:45,359 Speaker 1: and teaming up, you know, in the moments and the 135 00:06:45,440 --> 00:06:48,080 Speaker 1: days and the weeks and the months and the years 136 00:06:48,200 --> 00:06:51,159 Speaker 1: and the decades, and right now I'm going in the 137 00:06:51,160 --> 00:06:51,720 Speaker 1: other direction. 138 00:06:52,360 --> 00:06:56,400 Speaker 2: And the scores, what are scores for scores? It's twenty 139 00:06:56,480 --> 00:06:58,159 Speaker 2: years we've been married to score. 140 00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:02,360 Speaker 1: I scored all right, we're tangentine coming again and stop it. 141 00:07:02,600 --> 00:07:06,680 Speaker 1: So anyway, spiritual warfare is real. In One Peter five eight, 142 00:07:06,960 --> 00:07:10,520 Speaker 1: Peter told us to stay alert with an exclamation mark, 143 00:07:11,120 --> 00:07:13,880 Speaker 1: watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls 144 00:07:13,920 --> 00:07:16,640 Speaker 1: around like a roaring line, looking for someone to devour. 145 00:07:17,760 --> 00:07:20,680 Speaker 1: And in Ephesian six twelve, Paul wrote, for we are 146 00:07:20,720 --> 00:07:23,760 Speaker 1: not fighting against flesh and blood enemies, but against evil 147 00:07:23,840 --> 00:07:27,880 Speaker 1: rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers 148 00:07:27,880 --> 00:07:30,680 Speaker 1: in the stark world, and against evil spirits in the 149 00:07:30,680 --> 00:07:34,040 Speaker 1: heavenly places. And I have to say, and I feel 150 00:07:34,040 --> 00:07:38,280 Speaker 1: like we encounter some spiritual warfare whenever we record podcast 151 00:07:38,320 --> 00:07:40,080 Speaker 1: episodes or I write about marriage. 152 00:07:40,640 --> 00:07:44,320 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's almost as if this spiritual enemy wants to 153 00:07:44,320 --> 00:07:47,200 Speaker 2: discourage us from doing this kind of stuff. Right, And 154 00:07:47,240 --> 00:07:49,720 Speaker 2: so if we avoid doing the stuff, maybe we'll avoid 155 00:07:50,560 --> 00:07:53,960 Speaker 2: the eh, you know, the spiritual negativity or whatever. 156 00:07:54,040 --> 00:07:57,200 Speaker 1: Yeah, we want to have to deal with frustrations. Yeah, 157 00:07:57,240 --> 00:08:00,280 Speaker 1: And I mean the truth is, I don't think those 158 00:08:00,320 --> 00:08:02,120 Speaker 1: of you listening, I don't think we're telling you anything 159 00:08:02,120 --> 00:08:05,080 Speaker 1: new that you can't hear somewhere else, and maybe even 160 00:08:05,120 --> 00:08:07,320 Speaker 1: from you know, an expert in the fields you're looking 161 00:08:07,360 --> 00:08:09,119 Speaker 1: heavy with, Like, what are you saying? 162 00:08:09,160 --> 00:08:11,520 Speaker 2: You realize I'm fascinated. 163 00:08:11,720 --> 00:08:14,520 Speaker 1: Yeah, But for whatever reason, God has given us this 164 00:08:14,600 --> 00:08:19,120 Speaker 1: opportunity to use our failures and successes and experiences to 165 00:08:19,240 --> 00:08:22,760 Speaker 1: encourage and challenge others in their marriages. So we're faithfully 166 00:08:22,800 --> 00:08:23,440 Speaker 1: trying to do that. 167 00:08:23,720 --> 00:08:24,360 Speaker 2: Yeah. 168 00:08:24,400 --> 00:08:26,400 Speaker 1: I also, like we said, I feel like there's more 169 00:08:26,440 --> 00:08:30,760 Speaker 1: opportunity for irritation and frustration and fights with each other 170 00:08:30,880 --> 00:08:33,520 Speaker 1: when we are prepping of our according needs, because I 171 00:08:33,559 --> 00:08:36,800 Speaker 1: think that often it is spiritual warfare trying to discourage 172 00:08:36,840 --> 00:08:39,760 Speaker 1: us from doing this or saying, hey, it's not worth it. 173 00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:44,079 Speaker 2: I don't get frustrated with you to knock it off seriously. 174 00:08:45,320 --> 00:08:49,040 Speaker 1: So Yes, As I was thinking about how to explain 175 00:08:49,200 --> 00:08:52,080 Speaker 1: how we respond when this kind of stuff happens, I 176 00:08:52,120 --> 00:08:54,800 Speaker 1: came across an article from Focus on the Family call 177 00:08:55,520 --> 00:08:58,920 Speaker 1: you know love this title. Oh is this a spiritual attack? 178 00:08:59,040 --> 00:09:03,200 Speaker 1: Or is my spouse to jerk? That's a great title, right, it's. 179 00:09:03,040 --> 00:09:05,920 Speaker 2: A great title. I think you can always at least 180 00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:06,880 Speaker 2: go at the second one. 181 00:09:07,360 --> 00:09:08,680 Speaker 1: Yeah, And I'm going to link to it in the 182 00:09:08,679 --> 00:09:10,959 Speaker 1: show notes because I wasn't sure how to pronounce the 183 00:09:11,640 --> 00:09:13,480 Speaker 1: author's last name, So I didn't want to butcher it. 184 00:09:14,760 --> 00:09:17,640 Speaker 1: So I thought it offered some really practical wisdom that 185 00:09:17,840 --> 00:09:21,160 Speaker 1: really encompasses how I think we tend to deal with 186 00:09:21,200 --> 00:09:25,280 Speaker 1: spiritual attacks in our marriage. So here's what the author says. Yes, 187 00:09:25,880 --> 00:09:28,680 Speaker 1: we can spend a lot of emotional energy trying to 188 00:09:28,720 --> 00:09:31,520 Speaker 1: determine if it's a spiritual attack or just an everyday 189 00:09:31,559 --> 00:09:35,959 Speaker 1: marriage issue. But does it really matter? Two things are true. One, 190 00:09:36,480 --> 00:09:38,960 Speaker 1: Satan has your marriage on his radar and wants to 191 00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:42,120 Speaker 1: mess it up. Two, your spouse is human and so 192 00:09:42,240 --> 00:09:46,440 Speaker 1: are you. Yes, you're under attack, and yes, growing in 193 00:09:46,480 --> 00:09:49,800 Speaker 1: marriage is a process and take serious work. Both things 194 00:09:49,800 --> 00:09:52,559 Speaker 1: are true at the same time. If that's accurate, your 195 00:09:52,559 --> 00:09:57,320 Speaker 1: strategy should always involve a two pronged approach. One pray 196 00:09:57,360 --> 00:10:01,040 Speaker 1: for protection, two work on your relationship and ship. It's 197 00:10:01,080 --> 00:10:05,000 Speaker 1: not one or the other. Both things occur simultaneously, so 198 00:10:05,080 --> 00:10:08,680 Speaker 1: our response should deal with them together. So again, that's 199 00:10:08,720 --> 00:10:11,679 Speaker 1: from that article on Focus on the Family's website titled 200 00:10:11,760 --> 00:10:14,200 Speaker 1: is this a spiritual attack? Or is my spouse just 201 00:10:14,440 --> 00:10:14,880 Speaker 1: a jerk? 202 00:10:15,679 --> 00:10:18,360 Speaker 2: Hmm. I'm not sure how to comment on that, because 203 00:10:18,360 --> 00:10:19,079 Speaker 2: it's just like. 204 00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:23,480 Speaker 1: Right, it's just common sense, right, right, But it's true, right, 205 00:10:23,800 --> 00:10:27,160 Speaker 1: it's not. It's not a either or approach. It's a 206 00:10:27,200 --> 00:10:28,560 Speaker 1: both and a press sho. 207 00:10:29,400 --> 00:10:32,200 Speaker 2: You know how sometimes we are able to navigate out 208 00:10:32,200 --> 00:10:39,440 Speaker 2: of conflict by finding a common enemy. Yes, so we could, yeah, 209 00:10:39,559 --> 00:10:43,400 Speaker 2: maybe if we It's not a crutch is it to say, hey, 210 00:10:44,200 --> 00:10:47,800 Speaker 2: there's spiritual warfare going on? Now, let's uh say, get 211 00:10:47,840 --> 00:10:48,680 Speaker 2: away from me, Satan? 212 00:10:48,800 --> 00:10:49,000 Speaker 1: Then? 213 00:10:49,640 --> 00:10:50,920 Speaker 2: But I am a jerk too. 214 00:10:50,840 --> 00:10:53,679 Speaker 1: So no, I think I think that there is truth 215 00:10:53,720 --> 00:10:56,720 Speaker 1: in that. It reminds us that there's something greater at play, 216 00:10:58,000 --> 00:11:01,840 Speaker 1: and I think that's important. Now we see our physical world, 217 00:11:01,880 --> 00:11:03,439 Speaker 1: but it's very much a spiritual world too. 218 00:11:03,559 --> 00:11:07,040 Speaker 2: Now, you're absolutely right. And I think lately I've kind 219 00:11:07,080 --> 00:11:09,960 Speaker 2: of been involved with so many physical things, you know, 220 00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:14,160 Speaker 2: the work I do, the house, that sometimes it's easy 221 00:11:14,240 --> 00:11:18,960 Speaker 2: to sort of let slip the truth that that invisible 222 00:11:19,000 --> 00:11:24,320 Speaker 2: stuff is real. Spiritual stuff is going on, yeah, and 223 00:11:24,400 --> 00:11:27,280 Speaker 2: it affects the stuff we experience affix. 224 00:11:27,080 --> 00:11:35,640 Speaker 1: The physical stuff does, right, Well, I know when we're 225 00:11:35,640 --> 00:11:39,920 Speaker 1: going through these things and I pray, usually God shows 226 00:11:39,960 --> 00:11:42,840 Speaker 1: me how I need to change. The Holy Spirit prompts 227 00:11:42,920 --> 00:11:45,760 Speaker 1: me to do something that maybe I don't want to do, 228 00:11:46,040 --> 00:11:49,920 Speaker 1: and it's hard, and so I'm learning to be more 229 00:11:49,960 --> 00:11:53,520 Speaker 1: and more obedient, but it's not always easy. Usually it's tease, 230 00:11:53,960 --> 00:11:56,640 Speaker 1: not telling me all right, I'm going to change this 231 00:11:56,720 --> 00:12:00,400 Speaker 1: about Ted, it's like, maybe you should change this, which 232 00:12:00,480 --> 00:12:01,360 Speaker 1: is never fun. 233 00:12:01,440 --> 00:12:04,400 Speaker 2: Interesting. I was just thinking if if anybody thinks that 234 00:12:04,480 --> 00:12:11,440 Speaker 2: the invisible spiritual world does not affect the physical world, well, 235 00:12:11,880 --> 00:12:15,080 Speaker 2: think about how your brain is invisible, your thoughts are invisible, 236 00:12:15,120 --> 00:12:19,000 Speaker 2: your personality is invisible. You're whatever it is inside you 237 00:12:19,080 --> 00:12:22,360 Speaker 2: that makes you you is invisible. It's contained within your 238 00:12:22,400 --> 00:12:25,080 Speaker 2: body somewhere, maybe the brain, I don't know, but it's invisible. 239 00:12:25,120 --> 00:12:27,440 Speaker 2: And yet that invisible thing can make your hand move, 240 00:12:27,559 --> 00:12:31,440 Speaker 2: it can make your mouth move. So the invisible does affect. 241 00:12:31,720 --> 00:12:34,920 Speaker 2: I mean, that's a perfect that's an easy to grasp example. 242 00:12:35,200 --> 00:12:37,360 Speaker 1: Right, No, that's a good one. I think we think 243 00:12:37,400 --> 00:12:41,040 Speaker 1: too much that the person is the physical that we see, 244 00:12:41,120 --> 00:12:44,960 Speaker 1: which is part of them. I'm sure, but yeah, wow, Okay, Well, 245 00:12:44,960 --> 00:12:47,200 Speaker 1: we got to keep going go on, or else this 246 00:12:47,280 --> 00:12:50,440 Speaker 1: will be super long. So let's jump into the practical 247 00:12:50,480 --> 00:12:54,200 Speaker 1: ways that we can team up today, this week, this month, 248 00:12:54,240 --> 00:12:58,440 Speaker 1: and this year. As we do, let's remember the article 249 00:12:58,600 --> 00:13:00,600 Speaker 1: that we just talked about that say and wants to 250 00:13:00,640 --> 00:13:05,160 Speaker 1: mess with our marriage and our spouses are human, So 251 00:13:05,200 --> 00:13:07,840 Speaker 1: pray for protection and work on your marriage. As I said, 252 00:13:07,840 --> 00:13:10,040 Speaker 1: it's not both aunts. It's not either or it is 253 00:13:10,120 --> 00:13:13,679 Speaker 1: both aunt. So the first practical thing that we can 254 00:13:13,720 --> 00:13:17,640 Speaker 1: do is make peace with yesterday, last week, last month, 255 00:13:17,800 --> 00:13:19,840 Speaker 1: last year, or whatever time frame. 256 00:13:20,160 --> 00:13:23,400 Speaker 2: We need to sort of kind of like a forgive 257 00:13:23,440 --> 00:13:26,800 Speaker 2: and forget, except you don't forget, but you forgive and 258 00:13:27,440 --> 00:13:31,480 Speaker 2: try to move on. I think that I totally listing. 259 00:13:32,120 --> 00:13:35,839 Speaker 1: Yeah, no, I think that. You know, we face these 260 00:13:35,880 --> 00:13:38,319 Speaker 1: different issues. Like I would say, the last couple of 261 00:13:38,360 --> 00:13:41,800 Speaker 1: years for us have been hard. You know, some of 262 00:13:41,800 --> 00:13:44,840 Speaker 1: the hard stuff we talk about, some we haven't. You know, 263 00:13:45,360 --> 00:13:49,160 Speaker 1: parenting girls and teenage girls can be really challenging. We 264 00:13:49,160 --> 00:13:51,320 Speaker 1: don't share a lot of that because we respect our 265 00:13:51,360 --> 00:13:56,000 Speaker 1: kids privacy. They didn't choose to record a podcast or 266 00:13:56,040 --> 00:14:00,200 Speaker 1: write books when they're little. They didn't care. But you know, 267 00:14:00,200 --> 00:14:03,680 Speaker 1: stuff with the house has been hard. Moving is challenging. 268 00:14:04,120 --> 00:14:05,719 Speaker 2: Oh man, I do not like. 269 00:14:06,679 --> 00:14:10,640 Speaker 1: Right and you know we'll probably still face parenting challenges, 270 00:14:11,679 --> 00:14:14,160 Speaker 1: you know, but we can determine to make peace with 271 00:14:14,240 --> 00:14:17,600 Speaker 1: the events of yesterday, last week, last month or last year. 272 00:14:17,640 --> 00:14:20,080 Speaker 1: And what I mean by that is to side together, 273 00:14:20,200 --> 00:14:23,400 Speaker 1: to see these challenges not just as annoyances, but as 274 00:14:23,440 --> 00:14:28,400 Speaker 1: opportunities for growth, both individually and as a couple. And 275 00:14:28,440 --> 00:14:30,960 Speaker 1: I think that one way we can do this is 276 00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:33,720 Speaker 1: we sit down together and reflect. We talk about how 277 00:14:33,760 --> 00:14:36,400 Speaker 1: the struggles we faced have war on us and also 278 00:14:36,400 --> 00:14:39,640 Speaker 1: how they've made us stronger. We consider the times and 279 00:14:39,640 --> 00:14:42,440 Speaker 1: we've let them divide us rather than unite us, and 280 00:14:42,520 --> 00:14:45,400 Speaker 1: discuss how we can do better next time, and you know, 281 00:14:45,480 --> 00:14:48,680 Speaker 1: resolve that will face difficulties with us versus the problem 282 00:14:48,680 --> 00:14:51,960 Speaker 1: attitude instead of me versus you mentality, So it's that 283 00:14:52,040 --> 00:14:56,240 Speaker 1: common enemy. I think we can't move on from things 284 00:14:56,560 --> 00:15:00,200 Speaker 1: unless we've acknowledged and process to them. 285 00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:03,600 Speaker 2: I think that's right. Yeah, there can be a temptation 286 00:15:03,720 --> 00:15:06,120 Speaker 2: to sweep it under the rug, pretend that it's resolved 287 00:15:06,480 --> 00:15:09,800 Speaker 2: because it's not on top of the rug anymore. Yeah, 288 00:15:09,840 --> 00:15:14,480 Speaker 2: but yeah, it's can't just move on without acknowledging, without 289 00:15:14,960 --> 00:15:20,440 Speaker 2: you know, sort of processing, asking forgiveness, seeming forgiveness. 290 00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:23,680 Speaker 1: Yeah, I think those things, let me keep them inside. 291 00:15:23,720 --> 00:15:25,880 Speaker 1: They catch up with us. They don't go. 292 00:15:25,920 --> 00:15:27,840 Speaker 2: Away, No, they turn into gray hair. 293 00:15:28,920 --> 00:15:32,840 Speaker 1: Yeah, all right, Yes, So the next practical thing is 294 00:15:32,920 --> 00:15:38,360 Speaker 1: decide to get no yes. Sorry, this was written a 295 00:15:38,360 --> 00:15:40,240 Speaker 1: lot like the last one, and I thought, oh wait, 296 00:15:40,320 --> 00:15:43,640 Speaker 1: I didn't go forward in my notes. Decide together to 297 00:15:43,720 --> 00:15:46,920 Speaker 1: approach every day, week, month, and year with a sense 298 00:15:46,960 --> 00:15:48,080 Speaker 1: of lightheartedness. 299 00:15:48,440 --> 00:15:49,640 Speaker 2: Lightheartedness, yes, and. 300 00:15:49,600 --> 00:15:52,000 Speaker 1: We've talked about this in previous episodes. I think we 301 00:15:52,040 --> 00:15:55,800 Speaker 1: have an entire episode about how to have a lighthearted marriage, 302 00:15:56,200 --> 00:15:58,120 Speaker 1: which means, yes, we want to laugh together, we want 303 00:15:58,120 --> 00:16:01,360 Speaker 1: to have a sense of humor as we face different things. 304 00:16:01,440 --> 00:16:03,720 Speaker 1: But for those of you who have may not have 305 00:16:03,880 --> 00:16:07,800 Speaker 1: heard that it also means choosing to practice a lightheartedness 306 00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:11,440 Speaker 1: that comes from having an unburdened heart, or in other words, 307 00:16:11,440 --> 00:16:14,360 Speaker 1: a heart that's not wayed down by grudges toward one another. 308 00:16:14,840 --> 00:16:17,240 Speaker 2: So I was thinking, and I haven't really thought of 309 00:16:17,280 --> 00:16:22,360 Speaker 2: this before, but lightheartedness is good, but like flippancy or 310 00:16:22,640 --> 00:16:26,800 Speaker 2: like a cynical kind of humor that's not serious. I 311 00:16:26,840 --> 00:16:30,120 Speaker 2: think you can be seriously lighthearted, but if you're flippant 312 00:16:30,200 --> 00:16:33,520 Speaker 2: or cynical, I don't think that's helpful, you know what. 313 00:16:33,520 --> 00:16:33,840 Speaker 2: I'm sad. 314 00:16:34,480 --> 00:16:36,680 Speaker 1: Yes, I can think of an example, but I don't 315 00:16:36,680 --> 00:16:39,160 Speaker 1: know if you want me to share it. Go ahead 316 00:16:39,200 --> 00:16:43,000 Speaker 1: here on the podcast. Okay, Sometimes when we go through 317 00:16:43,040 --> 00:16:45,800 Speaker 1: some sort of disagreement or I have an issue with 318 00:16:45,880 --> 00:16:50,640 Speaker 1: something that upsets me, we may not well we may 319 00:16:50,680 --> 00:16:52,960 Speaker 1: not have resolved it, but a day or two later 320 00:16:53,080 --> 00:16:55,920 Speaker 1: you will make some sort of joke or a nudge 321 00:16:55,960 --> 00:16:59,320 Speaker 1: about it, and which would maybe be okay if we 322 00:16:59,360 --> 00:17:01,640 Speaker 1: had resolved it, But instead it feels like you're kind 323 00:17:01,680 --> 00:17:03,760 Speaker 1: of poking at me, saying, Oh, that's kind of dumb 324 00:17:03,760 --> 00:17:06,119 Speaker 1: that you were so upset about that that happened just 325 00:17:06,200 --> 00:17:10,320 Speaker 1: like just recently. Yeah, like was it last week? Maybe? 326 00:17:10,560 --> 00:17:11,240 Speaker 2: Yeah? Probably? 327 00:17:11,560 --> 00:17:17,639 Speaker 1: Yeah, so yeah, all right, well that's something to reflect on. Okay, 328 00:17:19,240 --> 00:17:22,480 Speaker 1: too flippant, So I think you know, the point is 329 00:17:22,520 --> 00:17:24,160 Speaker 1: for those of you listening, you know, if you've kept 330 00:17:24,160 --> 00:17:26,159 Speaker 1: a list of ways your spouse has failed and me 331 00:17:26,240 --> 00:17:28,240 Speaker 1: bringing that up with not me keeping a list of 332 00:17:28,800 --> 00:17:32,040 Speaker 1: something It just occurred to me as you were talking 333 00:17:32,040 --> 00:17:34,680 Speaker 1: about it, you know, the way your spouse has failed 334 00:17:34,760 --> 00:17:37,560 Speaker 1: or disappointed or hurt you in the past. Determined to 335 00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:41,400 Speaker 1: let those things go, either personally or if they're deeper issues, 336 00:17:41,720 --> 00:17:44,040 Speaker 1: you know, maybe you need a counselor to help you 337 00:17:44,080 --> 00:17:47,359 Speaker 1: through it and determine that starting today, you won't keep 338 00:17:47,440 --> 00:17:51,520 Speaker 1: a record of wrongs because God's marcies on New every morning. Well, 339 00:17:52,080 --> 00:17:53,080 Speaker 1: and you're. 340 00:17:52,960 --> 00:17:56,679 Speaker 2: Married to Center. I'm married to Center, So it's healthy 341 00:17:56,720 --> 00:17:59,119 Speaker 2: for us to be poised to forgive. 342 00:17:59,160 --> 00:18:03,600 Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, and seek not to be easily offended, 343 00:18:04,240 --> 00:18:06,320 Speaker 1: you know, to do your best to overlook offenses and 344 00:18:06,359 --> 00:18:08,440 Speaker 1: seek to be a team. That doesn't mean you don't 345 00:18:08,480 --> 00:18:11,439 Speaker 1: ever have to address things. Some things are offenses and 346 00:18:11,480 --> 00:18:16,000 Speaker 1: some things are issues. So all right, So we've talked 347 00:18:16,040 --> 00:18:19,840 Speaker 1: about making peace with the past, deciding to be lighthearted, 348 00:18:20,359 --> 00:18:22,639 Speaker 1: and the last practical thing which we have talked about, 349 00:18:22,720 --> 00:18:26,720 Speaker 1: probably in the second or third episode, is to get 350 00:18:26,760 --> 00:18:28,879 Speaker 1: on the same page literally literally like in. 351 00:18:28,960 --> 00:18:31,680 Speaker 2: Twister, Like we'd lay down the page with the dots 352 00:18:32,359 --> 00:18:36,320 Speaker 2: and then like red hand on green and you could 353 00:18:36,320 --> 00:18:36,760 Speaker 2: try that. 354 00:18:36,960 --> 00:18:38,400 Speaker 1: We haven't done that before, Krek. 355 00:18:38,480 --> 00:18:40,359 Speaker 2: Isn't that getting on the same page literally? 356 00:18:40,880 --> 00:18:43,240 Speaker 1: I was thinking grab a piece of paper and some pencils. 357 00:18:43,760 --> 00:18:45,640 Speaker 2: Oh oh, which you. 358 00:18:45,600 --> 00:18:46,640 Speaker 1: And I have actually done. 359 00:18:47,400 --> 00:18:47,760 Speaker 2: Yeah. 360 00:18:47,800 --> 00:18:49,760 Speaker 1: You can't see Ted's face right now, but he's got 361 00:18:49,760 --> 00:18:53,160 Speaker 1: that mischievous smile like he knows exactly what I'm talking about. 362 00:18:53,280 --> 00:18:53,959 Speaker 2: That's a twister. 363 00:18:54,960 --> 00:18:58,119 Speaker 1: Yeah, you also thought that when they had game nights. 364 00:19:00,119 --> 00:19:01,320 Speaker 1: It was a wild game night. 365 00:19:01,440 --> 00:19:04,880 Speaker 2: It was wild game night at church. And what it 366 00:19:04,960 --> 00:19:06,760 Speaker 2: really was was people, you know, the men. 367 00:19:07,440 --> 00:19:08,119 Speaker 1: I got together and. 368 00:19:08,119 --> 00:19:12,120 Speaker 2: They brought their their roast doc and their wild boar 369 00:19:12,320 --> 00:19:14,400 Speaker 2: and there I've rought a wild. 370 00:19:14,200 --> 00:19:15,639 Speaker 1: Game teaba twister. 371 00:19:16,240 --> 00:19:17,920 Speaker 2: Yeah, so stupid. 372 00:19:18,080 --> 00:19:20,359 Speaker 1: Yeah, like a lot of you know, I think a 373 00:19:20,400 --> 00:19:23,240 Speaker 1: lot of couples at the beginning of the year, Yes, 374 00:19:23,440 --> 00:19:25,119 Speaker 1: you know, get on the same page. They have the 375 00:19:25,160 --> 00:19:30,120 Speaker 1: same goal and purposes. But what about doing that regularly 376 00:19:30,160 --> 00:19:32,000 Speaker 1: throughout the year. I know there are couples that do that, 377 00:19:32,040 --> 00:19:33,760 Speaker 1: but I think a lot of us we get on 378 00:19:33,800 --> 00:19:36,320 Speaker 1: the same page and we have these goals and vision 379 00:19:36,359 --> 00:19:40,760 Speaker 1: for the year, and then we slowly just are surviving 380 00:19:40,800 --> 00:19:44,359 Speaker 1: through the year. So I think it would be cool. 381 00:19:44,680 --> 00:19:47,520 Speaker 1: You know, you jot those down literally piece of paper, 382 00:19:47,600 --> 00:19:49,719 Speaker 1: share it with each other, and then put it somewhere 383 00:19:49,720 --> 00:19:52,000 Speaker 1: in the house that you can see it. 384 00:19:52,240 --> 00:19:54,320 Speaker 2: We kind of have something like that with a Google 385 00:19:54,320 --> 00:19:57,040 Speaker 2: sheet or a Google doc you know what I'm talking about. 386 00:19:57,640 --> 00:20:00,879 Speaker 1: Yes, but I don't necessar really go check that all 387 00:20:00,880 --> 00:20:02,520 Speaker 1: the time because I have to track down the link 388 00:20:02,600 --> 00:20:03,240 Speaker 1: to it. 389 00:20:03,240 --> 00:20:05,439 Speaker 2: It's stuff we need to buy for the house, like 390 00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:07,520 Speaker 2: by rock for the back. 391 00:20:07,800 --> 00:20:10,480 Speaker 1: Yes, because we live in Arizona, and yeah, it isn't 392 00:20:10,480 --> 00:20:12,720 Speaker 1: there in mud what it's kind of like. On New 393 00:20:12,800 --> 00:20:14,840 Speaker 1: Year's I was like, okay, everybody, come up with three 394 00:20:14,920 --> 00:20:17,359 Speaker 1: fun goals for the year, three things you want to do, 395 00:20:18,520 --> 00:20:20,679 Speaker 1: you know, but owen fun. We should have all written 396 00:20:20,680 --> 00:20:23,879 Speaker 1: them down, or you and I should have written them down. Then. 397 00:20:24,119 --> 00:20:26,840 Speaker 1: I mean, one of our goals is you know, when 398 00:20:26,880 --> 00:20:29,119 Speaker 1: we moved, before we sold our house in Georgia, we 399 00:20:29,119 --> 00:20:31,640 Speaker 1: did have some debt. We do not have any debt 400 00:20:31,760 --> 00:20:34,840 Speaker 1: except for, you know, a mortgage, and so one of 401 00:20:34,880 --> 00:20:35,760 Speaker 1: our goals and I have. 402 00:20:35,760 --> 00:20:37,200 Speaker 2: A debt of gratitude to you. 403 00:20:38,040 --> 00:20:42,879 Speaker 1: It's to stay out of debt debt, no credit card debt. Yeah. Yeah, 404 00:20:42,960 --> 00:20:45,479 Speaker 1: that's a big one we have this year. Yeah. If 405 00:20:45,520 --> 00:20:48,320 Speaker 1: you wonder why we don't talk about finances and budgeting, 406 00:20:48,400 --> 00:20:50,280 Speaker 1: it's because it's not our strong suit. We're growing. 407 00:20:51,200 --> 00:20:53,800 Speaker 2: Yeah, we have been in debt. We're not currently right 408 00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:54,959 Speaker 2: other than the mortgage. 409 00:20:55,080 --> 00:20:58,440 Speaker 1: Okay, Yes, this episode is getting long, which is okay. 410 00:20:58,440 --> 00:21:01,920 Speaker 1: But to recap, we share three practical ways you can 411 00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:04,320 Speaker 1: team up every day, week, month, and year. 412 00:21:05,200 --> 00:21:08,080 Speaker 2: Yeah, go for it, make peace with yesterday, last week, 413 00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:11,119 Speaker 2: last month, last year or whatever when you need to 414 00:21:11,920 --> 00:21:15,520 Speaker 2: Number two, decide together to approach every day, week, month, 415 00:21:15,640 --> 00:21:21,159 Speaker 2: and year with a sense of lightheartedness. And three play twister. 416 00:21:22,240 --> 00:21:24,920 Speaker 1: Get on the same page literally, and if you need 417 00:21:24,920 --> 00:21:26,840 Speaker 1: to use twister to do that, then go for it. 418 00:21:27,240 --> 00:21:27,640 Speaker 2: Yeah. 419 00:21:27,760 --> 00:21:31,480 Speaker 1: Yeah, So onto this week's US challenge. It is not 420 00:21:32,080 --> 00:21:33,160 Speaker 1: play twister, although that. 421 00:21:33,080 --> 00:21:34,560 Speaker 2: Would be funny, It would be funny. 422 00:21:35,280 --> 00:21:37,600 Speaker 1: I say, pick one of the three practical ideas we 423 00:21:37,640 --> 00:21:40,200 Speaker 1: shared and do it. So, which one do you want 424 00:21:40,200 --> 00:21:40,359 Speaker 1: to do? 425 00:21:42,520 --> 00:21:45,119 Speaker 2: Number three? All right, let's do it. 426 00:21:45,240 --> 00:21:49,000 Speaker 1: Yeah, let's get on the same page literally. All right. Well, 427 00:21:49,520 --> 00:21:52,160 Speaker 1: thanks for joining us on the Team US podcast. We're 428 00:21:52,160 --> 00:21:54,680 Speaker 1: looking forward to next time as we keep talking about 429 00:21:54,720 --> 00:21:58,240 Speaker 1: how grace, commitment, and cooperation can help couples live the 430 00:21:58,359 --> 00:22:03,680 Speaker 1: everyday moments of marriage to Team US with Ted and 431 00:22:03,760 --> 00:22:07,040 Speaker 1: Ashley Slater is a production of Live Audio and Sale Media. 432 00:22:07,480 --> 00:22:09,520 Speaker 1: If you liked what you heard today, please take a 433 00:22:09,560 --> 00:22:12,119 Speaker 1: second to rate and review the podcast in your favorite 434 00:22:12,119 --> 00:22:15,120 Speaker 1: podcast app so that more listeners like you can find 435 00:22:15,119 --> 00:22:19,440 Speaker 1: the show. For more faith filled inspirational podcasts, visit us 436 00:22:19,440 --> 00:22:27,840 Speaker 1: at liveaudio dot com.