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Speaker 1: Welcome to Christian Parent Crazy World, the podcast that tackles

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Speaker 1: tough topics to help you be a godly parent in

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Speaker 1: an ungodly world. I am your host, Catherine Seekers, and

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Speaker 1: today we are diving into that conversation, you know, the one. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: the talk, the birds and the bees, the facts of life,

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Speaker 1: the please let the ground swallow me hole moment every

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Speaker 1: parent knows is coming. Yeah, that talk. But here's the reality.

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Speaker 1: If we don't intentionally step into this conversation with our kids,

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Speaker 1: someone else will. And in today's world, that someone else

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Speaker 1: is often loud, confusing, and deeply disconnected from God's good design.

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Speaker 1: So the question isn't if we talk about sex and

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Speaker 1: sexuality with our kids, it's when and how how do

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Speaker 1: we do this in a way that is honest, age appropriate,

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Speaker 1: and firmly rooted in the truth. Well, today you're getting

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Speaker 1: help from one of the best. I am joined by

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Speaker 1: Elizabeth or Baniwicks of Foundation World of View. She's back

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Speaker 1: with a powerful new resource helping your kids know God's

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Speaker 1: good design. Forty questions and answers on sexuality and gender,

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Speaker 1: and she's going to walk us through how to approach

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Speaker 1: these conversations with competence, with clarity, and with a solid

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Speaker 1: biblical foundation. So take a deep bred parents. We are

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Speaker 1: going there, but you're not alone. That's the ground we're

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Speaker 1: covering in this episode of Christian parent Crazy World. Yeah. So,

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Speaker 1: if we are honest, talking to our kids about sex

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Speaker 1: and sexuality rank somewhere between doing taxes and getting a

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Speaker 1: root canal. Most of us would really rather not myself included.

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Speaker 1: But here's the truth. This isn't optional. This is one

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Speaker 1: of the most important conversations we will ever have with

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Speaker 1: our kids. Our kids are being shaped right now by voices, ideas,

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Speaker 1: and messages about sex and identity. The question is will

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Speaker 1: we be the primary voice or will someone else? That's

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Speaker 1: why we have to step in early and stay engaged often.

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Speaker 1: But how do we do that? How do we take

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Speaker 1: something so sensitive, so complex and communicate it in a

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Speaker 1: way that our kids can actually understand? Well? That is

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Speaker 1: where Elizabeth or Baniwickx comes in. She is one of

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Speaker 1: the most gifted communicators I've ever encountered when it comes

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Speaker 1: to taking big, complicated, and sometimes uncomfortable topics and translating

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Speaker 1: them for the mind and heart of a child. Elizabeth

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Speaker 1: holds a master's degree in Education from Northern Illinois University

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Speaker 1: and an MA in Christian Apologetics from Biola University. She

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Speaker 1: is a former elementary school teacher and now she is

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Speaker 1: the founder in CEO, a Foundation Worldview where she equips parents, educators,

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Speaker 1: and church leaders to help kids think critically and biblically.

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Speaker 1: She's also a frequent guest here on CPCW and for

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Speaker 1: good reason. We've used her resources in our own home

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Speaker 1: and we absolutely love them. Honestly, she is so good

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Speaker 1: at this I think it's safe to say that God

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Speaker 1: uniquely designed her for this very purpose. So with that's it,

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Speaker 1: let's jump right in. Elizabeth, Welcome back to Christian Parent

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Speaker 1: Crazy World. It's so awesome to have you here again.

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Speaker 2: Oh thanks so much for having me on again, Catherine.

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Speaker 2: I always love chatting with you, so it's a joy

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Speaker 2: to be here with you.

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Speaker 1: Yes, I think you are my most frequent guest if

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Speaker 1: I'm not mistaken. Yes, yes, I've told you before. You

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Speaker 1: get a five star rating for me and from my listeners.

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Speaker 1: You're just You're always so so helpful and so encouraging

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Speaker 1: for all the parents out there. I can't think of

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Speaker 1: a better guest to have on more frequently. Than you

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Speaker 1: time and time again. You're creating so much amazing curriculum

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Speaker 1: out there, and now you have a book out that

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Speaker 1: we're going to talk about today. But your resources are

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Speaker 1: just second to none. So thank you for coming back,

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Speaker 1: and for any new listeners who might be unfamiliar with

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Speaker 1: what you do, why don't you tell tell us how you,

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Speaker 1: a former school teacher elementary school teacher, came to be

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Speaker 1: one of the most trusted sources of biblically sound apologetics

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Speaker 1: curriculum for parents out there today.

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Speaker 2: Yes, well, I will let you know first off that

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Speaker 2: it's purely by God's grace and mercy, not from me.

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Speaker 2: Like literally, I was just having a conversation with my

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Speaker 2: pastor from growing up last week and he's like, you know,

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Speaker 2: if I had to guess, who would you know, like

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Speaker 2: start a business and do all these things in your family?

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Speaker 2: He was like, You're the last person I would have

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Speaker 2: guessed growing up. And I'm like, I know, it's like

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Speaker 2: purely God's great.

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Speaker 1: Let me tell you. We were just reading the Bible

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Speaker 1: story for Today with my kids and we got to

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Speaker 1: the one about David how he was the least expected

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Speaker 1: us of all of the sons to be the one

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Speaker 1: to be the king. And so there you go. You

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Speaker 1: are good company.

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Speaker 2: Yes I am, like I'm nowhere in You're amazing, as

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Speaker 2: amazing as David. But it's totally God's grace because I

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Speaker 2: was the least expected to do things like this. But

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Speaker 2: as you said, Catherine, my background is an elementary education

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Speaker 2: and so I started off my professional career teaching for

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Speaker 2: a decade in a Christian school and I loved what

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Speaker 2: I did. I loved getting to teach children the whole truth.

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Speaker 2: And it was really during that time in the classroom

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Speaker 2: that I saw just in the day and age in

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Speaker 2: which we are living, children are confronted with so many

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Speaker 2: competing ideas that I saw that my students needed some help.

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Speaker 2: They needed help understanding how to dive into scripture to

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Speaker 2: understand what's true, and how to evaluate every idea that

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Speaker 2: they encounter through the lens of scripture. And so that's

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Speaker 2: what we do at Foundation Worldview. We create resources primarily

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Speaker 2: for Christian parents, but also for Christian educators and church

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Speaker 2: leaders to implement with children between the ages of four

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Speaker 2: and twelve to get them think critically and biblically.

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Speaker 1: And you do it to well my kids. I've so

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Speaker 1: enjoyed going through your curriculum with them. It's one that

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Speaker 1: I recommend often all the time. And so you have

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Speaker 1: a new book out that we're going to talk about today.

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Speaker 1: But before we actually jump into this topic today, your

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Speaker 1: new book, by the way, Helping Your Kids Know God's

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Speaker 1: Good Design forty Questions and Answers on sexuality and gender.

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Speaker 1: I was kind of curious, though, there are some other

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Speaker 1: books that kind of cover some of this topic, this

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Speaker 1: talk about sexuality and gender for parents or families out there.

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Speaker 1: I'm sure you're very familiar with a few of them.

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Speaker 1: So what is it that this book covers on the

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Speaker 1: bookshelf that was so necessary that I think maybe I

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Speaker 1: think I might know the answer to that question because

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Speaker 1: of what you're so good at. But you know, for example,

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Speaker 1: you've got Holy Sexuality out there by Christopher you On

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Speaker 1: that's on my bookshelf. I actually have it right here.

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Speaker 1: We've got Mama Bear Apologetics Guide to Sexuality by Hillary

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Speaker 1: Morgan Ferreer. So what are we going to get in

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Speaker 1: this book that is so necessary that we might find

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Speaker 1: in those.

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Speaker 2: Yes, well, the previous books that you mentioned highly recommend.

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Speaker 2: I think they have so much great information. I myself

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Speaker 2: have learned from those books, so give them five star rating.

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Speaker 2: With this book, it's really designed to be a practical

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Speaker 2: how to guide for parents, because I know for myself,

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Speaker 2: when I am doing something that I'm not necessarily comfortable

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Speaker 2: with or super familiar with, I'm not the kind of

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Speaker 2: person that just wants to like dive in and be like,

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Speaker 2: let's see how it goes. I'm like, can someone please

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Speaker 2: hold my hand and tell me like the three steps

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Speaker 2: in order and then I can try it. And so

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Speaker 2: this book was designed to just be a real practical,

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Speaker 2: boots on the ground guide for like, Hey, I need

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Speaker 2: to talk with my child about this topic in culture.

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Speaker 2: Can you walk me through how to do that? If

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Speaker 2: my child's five, walk me through how to do that,

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Speaker 2: if my child's nine, walk me through how to do

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Speaker 2: that if my child's twelve. And really that's the goal

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Speaker 2: to just walk parents step by step through forty foundational

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Speaker 2: conversations to how with their children.

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Speaker 1: I love that. And yes, this one starts early. We

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Speaker 1: can start very young with our kids here and with

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Speaker 1: age appropriate conversations. And I think of you as like

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Speaker 1: the I know we all have the same language as

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Speaker 1: our kids, but you're kind of a child whisperer. You know,

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Speaker 1: you're really able to think and ways and to come

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Speaker 1: up with analogies and examples to give to our kids

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Speaker 1: that really help them have that aha, light bulb moment.

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Speaker 1: And sometimes as parents, you know, some parents may be

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Speaker 1: really good at that and some parents may not. We

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Speaker 1: love our kids, but sometimes we're not always the best

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Speaker 1: communicator too, and with our kids about especially about tough

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Speaker 1: topics and uncomfortable topics, which sexuality and gender certainly lies

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Speaker 1: in both the tough and comfortable categories. Right, So I

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Speaker 1: told you though before the show, there was before we

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Speaker 1: started this conversation officially our pre conversation, how much I

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Speaker 1: appreciated your introduction. You broach a topic there, and I

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Speaker 1: want to set the stage for our parents because I

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Speaker 1: think a lot of times we have all of these

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Speaker 1: expectations and our parenting. I know that I have, and

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Speaker 1: sometimes you find yourself, particularly and the culture that we

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Speaker 1: live in and journeys with your kids that you never

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Speaker 1: imagined having to have conversations with your kids that Like

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Speaker 1: when I was a child, I never had to have

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Speaker 1: that conversation with my parents. It just wasn't relevant. There

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Speaker 1: was no issue going through the checkout counter at the

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Speaker 1: store and seeing someone who might be presenting as the

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Speaker 1: opposite sex. That was just not a thing. And so

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Speaker 1: these conversations that we're having are very challenging. We didn't

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Speaker 1: expect you, but sometimes in our own homes and our

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Speaker 1: own families were encountering situations and her parenting we never expected.

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Speaker 1: And I so love what you said. You covered this

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Speaker 1: on page thirteen. You said, as you begin talking with

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Speaker 1: your child about God's good design for sexuality, you may

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Speaker 1: find yourself in a marriage or a family situation that

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Speaker 1: you never imagined or desire. Whether this is because of

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Speaker 1: simple choices you have made, or the sin of others

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Speaker 1: that has been thrust upon you, or simply the result

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Speaker 1: of living in a fallen world, your situation may cause

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Speaker 1: you to wonder how you can have these conversations with

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Speaker 1: your child, especially when your life feels far from the

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Speaker 1: goodness of God's design for marriage, sex, and family. Wow,

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Speaker 1: thank you Elizabeth for saying that I know more than

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Speaker 1: anything else the emails that I get here from hosting

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Speaker 1: Christian Crazy World are from parents in that very situation.

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Speaker 1: Their life is far from the one that they imagined,

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Speaker 1: and you actually understand that a little bit yourself. You

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Speaker 1: go into that and this introduction in a way that

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Speaker 1: I thought was really beautiful. Why didn't you just share

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Speaker 1: with us or impact that a little bit more for us?

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Speaker 2: Yes, well, I wrote this just I mean with myself

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Speaker 2: in mind and so many other people, you know, because

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Speaker 2: I know, you know, there might be listeners who have

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Speaker 2: walked through divorce and never expected that, or listeners who

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Speaker 2: have lost a spouse, you know, and never expected that

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Speaker 2: God would call their spouse home at an early time,

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Speaker 2: you know. Or listeners who from a young age experienced

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Speaker 2: sexual abuse you know, and have had to walk with

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Speaker 2: the weight of that for their whole lives, or just

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Speaker 2: a whole host of other situations. And I know for myself,

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Speaker 2: I mean, some people might hear this and be like, oh, Elizabeth,

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Speaker 2: this is nothing compared to what I'm walking through, and

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Speaker 2: you may be right about that, But for me, I

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Speaker 2: expected you I'm forty right now, and I expected that

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Speaker 2: long before I turned thirty, that I would be married,

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Speaker 2: you know, and starting to have kids. And that is

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Speaker 2: just not what the Lord has had for my life,

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Speaker 2: you know, no matter how much I have asked him

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Speaker 2: for that, or even you know, tried to move walk

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Speaker 2: forward in wisdom, you know, to let that happen. And so,

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Speaker 2: you know, being forty and single and childless, you know it,

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Speaker 2: there's things that blessings that the Lord has given me

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Speaker 2: in that, but it's also you know, like a deep

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Speaker 2: ache and longing and grieving there. And so while I

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Speaker 2: don't necessarily have boots on the ground experience in you know,

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Speaker 2: being in a marriage that feels very much broken, I

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Speaker 2: have boots on the ground experiencing on the other end

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Speaker 2: of that of expecting to be in a marriage but

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Speaker 2: not experiencing that. And the reason I wanted to start

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Speaker 2: off the book with that is sometimes, especially within the church,

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Speaker 2: it can be difficult to talk about the brokenness that

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Speaker 2: we're walking through because we know that Jesus does give

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Speaker 2: us life and life to the full, but that life,

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Speaker 2: while it starts here, it really doesn't come to fruition

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Speaker 2: until Jesus comes back and makes heaven and earth new.

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Speaker 2: And I think sometimes it can be discouraging or embarrassing

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Speaker 2: for us to talk about those things in our life,

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Speaker 2: or even just to admit it that it's broken, because

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Speaker 2: we forget what God is doing right now, and right now,

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Speaker 2: God has promised that He is working all things together

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Speaker 2: for our good, not that we're going to enjoy things

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Speaker 2: here on this earth, you know, Not that I'm not

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Speaker 2: promised that I'm going to get married. You know, I might.

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Speaker 2: I have no idea how long I'm going to live.

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Speaker 2: You know, I could live one more day, I could live,

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Speaker 2: you know, in the next fifty years. You know, I

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Speaker 2: have no idea. But I might never get married. And

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Speaker 2: God hasn't promised me that. But what he has promised

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Speaker 2: in the next verse in Rooms eight twenty nine is

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Speaker 2: that He is using all things to conform me more

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Speaker 2: into the image of his son. So I think it's

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Speaker 2: so important for us to remember that whatever situation we're

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Speaker 2: walking through, you know, whether a listener's life right now,

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Speaker 2: you know, feels really happy and they're not walking through

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Speaker 2: a season of suffering, or whether it feels you know,

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Speaker 2: broken in some areas, or whether it just feels completely devastating,

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Speaker 2: to remember that God is allowing you to walk through

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Speaker 2: this situation for your ultimate good, for conforming you more

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Speaker 2: into the image of his son. You know, we're told

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Speaker 2: that these light and momentary afflictions are preparing us for

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Speaker 2: an eternal weight of glory. And so I think it's

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Speaker 2: really important before we have this conversation about how to

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Speaker 2: talk with our kids about God's good design for sexual

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Speaker 2: that we put it within that framework and also remember

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Speaker 2: what the ultimate goal is. That you know, as we're

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Speaker 2: teaching our kids about God's good design for sexuality and gender,

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Speaker 2: you know, would it be our prayer that our children

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Speaker 2: would live lives that would honor God, That they would

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Speaker 2: reserve all forms of sexual intimacy for marriage, you know,

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Speaker 2: that God would provide them with a godly spouse, that

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Speaker 2: they would have children, that they would raise them in

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Speaker 2: a godly home. Yes, and those are great things to

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Speaker 2: pray for, but that's not the ultimate goal in helping

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Speaker 2: our kids understand God's good design. The ultimate goal is,

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Speaker 2: as they begin to understand what God's design is, that

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Speaker 2: they would taste and see that the Lord is good

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Speaker 2: and that through this, through this understanding of what God

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Speaker 2: has designed, that they would compare that with what our

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Speaker 2: fallen nature has done to God's good gifts, and that

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Speaker 2: they would run to Jesus, that they would run from

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Speaker 2: their sin and run to Jesus and find everlasting life

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Speaker 2: in him.

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Speaker 1: You have basically I was going to read another quote,

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Speaker 1: but That's basically what you said at the end of

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Speaker 1: page fourteen. It was so beautifully stated that that is

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Speaker 1: the goal of our parenting. It's not to get a

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Speaker 1: particular outcome. And I was sharing with you before the

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Speaker 1: show that, you know, I had all of these expectations

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Speaker 1: in my parenting, and our first child ended up in

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Speaker 1: a prodigal season despite over a dozen years of classical

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Speaker 1: Christian homeschooling and Bible memory and teaching to the why.

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Speaker 1: And it's like I literally heard a sermon recently where

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Speaker 1: he's like, do you need to do all of these

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Speaker 1: things you raise Daniel, check, check, check check.

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Speaker 2: I do it all.

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Speaker 1: Perfectly, perfectly, No, but I did them all, you know,

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Speaker 1: And I really tried to exemplify that that discipleship in

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Speaker 1: my own life and my husband. And it's like, we

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Speaker 1: really never imagine that. And you were talking about how

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Speaker 1: embarrassing it can be. I mean, talk about having a

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Speaker 1: Christian apologetics podcast, and then your first one out the

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Speaker 1: gate is like agnostic. You're like, I didn't see that coming.

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Speaker 1: I really did not. And I know my listeners know

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Speaker 1: she's come back around. She believes in God now, but

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Speaker 1: we're still working through a lot of things. I just

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Speaker 1: never imagined that we would be here, and I so

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Speaker 1: appreciate that you talked about that is the goal of

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Speaker 1: our parenting. Our goal isn't to have this particular outcome,

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Speaker 1: And the way I've come to see it is I

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Speaker 1: can't raise a Daniel, but I can be a Daniel,

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Speaker 1: and by being a Daniel, I believe at some point

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Speaker 1: my children will follow suit, hopefully sooner rather than later.

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Speaker 1: But that's really all I have control over is my

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Speaker 1: choice to live the godly life. And one of the

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Speaker 1: thing you mentioned, the like momentary afflictions, God and I

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Speaker 1: have a lot of arguments about what he describes as

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Speaker 1: or defines as light and momentary. I guess if we're

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Speaker 1: all looking through the great lens of all eternity, yes, yes,

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Speaker 1: those things are light, well, maybe not light momentary someone

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Speaker 1: feel so heavy and weighty. But I just really appreciate

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Speaker 1: that that is where you started the conversation, that this

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Speaker 1: is the goal in our parenting. And one other thing

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Speaker 1: before we jump right in one verse that has been

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Speaker 1: coming up in my Bible study. I've just been soaking in.

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Speaker 1: It comes out of First Corinthians chapter three. Paul is

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Speaker 1: talking here. He's kind of frustrated with the Corinthian Church

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Speaker 1: because they're all infants and he wants to give a

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Speaker 1: meet and you can't give meet. Sometimes you feel that

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Speaker 1: way with our kids right as parents, and you may

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Speaker 1: feel that way with your students sometimes. But he's he's

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Speaker 1: kind of frustrated with this, the Corinthian Church, and they're all,

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Speaker 1: you know, well, they're talking about how well I follow

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Speaker 1: Paul and I follow a Paulus. And here's what he says,

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Speaker 1: and this has actually come to be one of my

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Speaker 1: foundational parenting versus. He says, what, after all, is a

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Speaker 1: Poulus and what is Paul? Only servants through whom you

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Speaker 1: came to believe as the Lord has assigned to each

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Speaker 1: his task. And granted this isn't about parenting per se,

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Speaker 1: but it really is. It's about all of our lives

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Speaker 1: as disciples. He says, I planted the seed, Apaulus watered it,

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Speaker 1: but God makes it grow. So neither you who plants,

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Speaker 1: nor you who waters as anything, but only God who

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Speaker 1: makes things grow. The man who plants and the man

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Speaker 1: who waters have one purpose, and each will be rewarded.

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Speaker 1: So take courage, you and all of your teaching, the

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Speaker 1: planning that you're doing, and the nourishing of those seeds,

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Speaker 1: Elizabeth and me and my parenting, the planning of seeds

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Speaker 1: and nourishing of those seeds, that is the work that

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Speaker 1: God has given us to do. But God is the

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Speaker 1: one who makes it grow. And we want to make

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Speaker 1: sure we stay in our lane. We don't get above

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Speaker 1: our pay grade and thinking that the growth is due

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Speaker 1: to or that the growth necessarily comes in the way

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Speaker 1: that we expect it to. The man who plants and

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Speaker 1: the man who waters have one purpose, and each will

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Speaker 1: be awarded according to his own labor. For we are

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Speaker 1: God's fellow workers. You are God's field, God's building. So

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Speaker 1: I'm just really encouraged by that. And I'm glad that

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Speaker 1: you started out your book acknowledging that, and I just

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Speaker 1: really touched me. I started and I just was I

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Speaker 1: wrote thank you Elizabeth under that section in my book,

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Speaker 1: and I just greatly appreciate that. But for those periods,

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Speaker 1: I know, we want to get into the topic that

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Speaker 1: is so tough to talk about. It feels awkward, it

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Speaker 1: feels just misplaced sometimes or we're not sure exactly what

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Speaker 1: to say. But why don't we start with talking about

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Speaker 1: what is God's good design. And I love how you

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Speaker 1: always frame everything in the positive. It's good. It's his

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Speaker 1: good design. Because our culture looks at what God says

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Speaker 1: about our sexuality and gender, they say that it's oppressive

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Speaker 1: and repressive and it puts you in bondage. But this,

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Speaker 1: what our culture says is good, is actually the bondage.

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Speaker 1: And God's design is good. So let's start there. What

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Speaker 1: does scripture tell us about God's design and how that

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Speaker 1: is good for us?

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Speaker 2: Yes, one thing that I love about this topic is

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Speaker 2: it is not hidden somewhere in scripture. It is presented

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Speaker 2: right in the opening chapters of Genesis and then expanded

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Speaker 2: upon through the rest of scripture. So when we look

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Speaker 2: at Genesis chapter one, and we're told that God creates

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Speaker 2: man on day six of creation. In Genesis chapter one,

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Speaker 2: verse twenty seven, it says, so God created man in

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Speaker 2: his own image and the image of God. He created

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Speaker 2: him male and female. He created them, and God blessed

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Speaker 2: them and said, be fruitful and multiply fill the earth

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Speaker 2: and subdue it, and have dominion over the birds of

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Speaker 2: the air, and the fish of the sea, and the

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Speaker 2: creeping things that crawl on the ground. And from that passage,

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Speaker 2: we see that humans are creating God's image as distinctly

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Speaker 2: male or distinctly female. And so that's the foundation of it,

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Speaker 2: all of our identity as image bearers, and we bear

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Speaker 2: that image either as males or female. So that's the

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Speaker 2: first truth that God has designed us in his image

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Speaker 2: as distinctly male or distinctly female. Then as we read

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Speaker 2: on in chapter two, we get more description over the

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Speaker 2: day in which God created Adam and Eve, and we

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Speaker 2: are told that when God created Eve and brought her

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Speaker 2: to Adam, you know, Adam makes this pronouncement. He says,

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Speaker 2: this at last is bone of my bone and flesh

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Speaker 2: of my flesh. She shall be called woman. And then

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Speaker 2: Moses interjects with some commentary as he's writing. He says,

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Speaker 2: therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and

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Speaker 2: be united to his wife, and the two shall become

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Speaker 2: one flesh. And so from this we see God establishing

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Speaker 2: this pattern that marriage is one man and it's one

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Speaker 2: woman becoming one flesh for life. So we see right

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Speaker 2: in the second chapter of Genesis that God has designed

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Speaker 2: the gift of sexual intimacy within marriage for one man

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Speaker 2: and one woman. And then we're told after that that

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Speaker 2: Adam knew his wife. And now I am not a

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Speaker 2: Hebrew scholar, so I'm not going to say this word correctly. However,

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Speaker 2: the Hebrew word for to know is the word ya

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Speaker 2: da and it is frequently used throughout the Old Testament

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Speaker 2: as a euphemism for sexual intimacy between a husband and

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Speaker 2: a wife. That interestingly, when there's sexual intercourse that's not

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Speaker 2: between spouse's it rarely uses that word yadah. It uses

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Speaker 2: a completely different term. But that word for intimate knowledge

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Speaker 2: is also used in other instances. For example, in Psalm

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Speaker 2: one nine, when David is describing God's intimate knowledge of

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Speaker 2: him and he says, Oh Lord, you have searched me

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Speaker 2: and known me, it's also that root word ya dah.

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Speaker 2: So this intimate knowledge, and so we see that God

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Speaker 2: has given this gift of sexual intimacy within marriage for

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Speaker 2: the creation of intimacy. We also see that it's for

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Speaker 2: the creation of children. And then as we go even

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Speaker 2: further into Efesions chapter five, Paul expounds on this and

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Speaker 2: he quotes what MoES says. Race is. Therefore a man

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Speaker 2: shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to

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Speaker 2: his wife, and the two shall become one flesh, and

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Speaker 2: Paul says, this mystery is profound, and I am saying

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Speaker 2: it refers to Christ in the Church. And so we

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Speaker 2: see that this one flesh union in marriage is a

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Speaker 2: picture of Christ and the Church. So we see, you know,

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Speaker 2: this whole picture of what marriage is. And then throughout

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Speaker 2: scripture we see that any form of sexual expression outside

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Speaker 2: of a one man, one woman covenantal marriage is considered sin.

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Speaker 2: You know, right in starting off in Genesis chapter four,

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Speaker 2: we see Laymack he takes two wives. Now in that passage,

432
00:23:47,200 --> 00:23:51,000
Speaker 2: it's polygamy is not outright condemned. However, every example of

433
00:23:51,040 --> 00:23:53,520
Speaker 2: polygamy that we have in the Bible is a really

434
00:23:53,520 --> 00:23:58,600
Speaker 2: negative one. You know, it does not you know, think

435
00:23:58,720 --> 00:24:03,840
Speaker 2: of Leah and Rachel, think of Sarah and Hagar, think

436
00:24:03,960 --> 00:24:07,239
Speaker 2: of Hannah and Panina, like all of those you know,

437
00:24:07,359 --> 00:24:11,159
Speaker 2: relationships like they were not good relationships. And so we

438
00:24:11,200 --> 00:24:14,560
Speaker 2: see that, you know, sexual intimacy outside of marriage is

439
00:24:14,560 --> 00:24:16,520
Speaker 2: a sin. And then once we get to God's law

440
00:24:16,600 --> 00:24:19,639
Speaker 2: in the Mosaic Covenant, like in Leviticus, Leviticus chapter nineteen,

441
00:24:19,680 --> 00:24:22,679
Speaker 2: it gives a long list of all the different forms

442
00:24:22,680 --> 00:24:25,800
Speaker 2: of possible sexual sin that we can get into and

443
00:24:25,840 --> 00:24:28,119
Speaker 2: so we want to help our kids know. You know,

444
00:24:28,160 --> 00:24:30,560
Speaker 2: we want to make sure that first we know and

445
00:24:30,600 --> 00:24:33,959
Speaker 2: then help our kids know that sexuality is not something

446
00:24:34,000 --> 00:24:37,280
Speaker 2: that we're embarrassed by. It's not something that we're ashamed of.

447
00:24:37,400 --> 00:24:40,560
Speaker 2: It's not something that is bad. It's a gift that

448
00:24:40,600 --> 00:24:44,600
Speaker 2: God has given to be used within its proper context.

449
00:24:45,520 --> 00:24:51,679
Speaker 1: Amen. Ah Wow, so perfectly stated. That was awesome, just

450
00:24:51,800 --> 00:24:55,040
Speaker 1: really covering the gamut because it does start, it does

451
00:24:55,119 --> 00:24:57,400
Speaker 1: start right at the beginning. A lot of people think

452
00:24:57,440 --> 00:25:01,200
Speaker 1: that the sexual prohibitions or the sexual where God addresses

453
00:25:01,240 --> 00:25:02,840
Speaker 1: that is in the law. It's not in the law.

454
00:25:03,160 --> 00:25:06,360
Speaker 1: It was in the garden. It was how He created

455
00:25:06,560 --> 00:25:08,720
Speaker 1: male and female, because we do know it talks about

456
00:25:08,760 --> 00:25:13,120
Speaker 1: you know, cross dressing even and this ancient society talked

457
00:25:13,119 --> 00:25:15,960
Speaker 1: about dressing up or or a man and a man

458
00:25:16,000 --> 00:25:17,720
Speaker 1: and a woman and a woman. That No, it goes

459
00:25:18,400 --> 00:25:21,560
Speaker 1: way before that. It starts in the garden what God established,

460
00:25:21,560 --> 00:25:25,520
Speaker 1: and ever since then, the enemy has been trying to

461
00:25:26,520 --> 00:25:31,960
Speaker 1: distort what He has created and to make a counterfeit

462
00:25:32,000 --> 00:25:37,600
Speaker 1: of that, and the counterfeit oftentimes we have that desire.

463
00:25:37,600 --> 00:25:40,080
Speaker 1: We are born in a sinful world. We may have

464
00:25:40,119 --> 00:25:42,479
Speaker 1: a desire for a counterfeit. We may have a desire

465
00:25:42,520 --> 00:25:44,720
Speaker 1: to be with someone outside of wedlock. We may have

466
00:25:44,760 --> 00:25:47,119
Speaker 1: a desire to be with someone who's not our spouse.

467
00:25:47,160 --> 00:25:49,680
Speaker 1: We may have a desire to be with someone who

468
00:25:49,760 --> 00:25:53,399
Speaker 1: is of the same sex. You know, there is many

469
00:25:53,480 --> 00:25:55,719
Speaker 1: things that we may have as a desire, and that

470
00:25:55,760 --> 00:25:59,000
Speaker 1: desire may seem so innate, and yet what we have

471
00:25:59,080 --> 00:26:02,399
Speaker 1: to go back is to god good design that you

472
00:26:02,640 --> 00:26:04,920
Speaker 1: talk so beautifully about this in all of your curriculum.

473
00:26:05,000 --> 00:26:09,280
Speaker 1: Our feelings do not determine what is right or wrong.

474
00:26:09,359 --> 00:26:12,200
Speaker 1: It's God's good design and it is good. It is

475
00:26:12,400 --> 00:26:18,000
Speaker 1: and it is for our good. Our culture is the

476
00:26:18,080 --> 00:26:21,800
Speaker 1: serpent that comes along. Did God really say? Did he

477
00:26:21,920 --> 00:26:25,479
Speaker 1: really say that was good? You're going to be missing

478
00:26:25,480 --> 00:26:29,240
Speaker 1: out if you don't partake of this outside of marriage,

479
00:26:29,320 --> 00:26:32,439
Speaker 1: or if you don't satisfy that longing or desire that

480
00:26:32,520 --> 00:26:35,120
Speaker 1: God said isn't a part of this good design. So

481
00:26:35,520 --> 00:26:39,399
Speaker 1: just framing it that way and that whole encompassing little

482
00:26:39,480 --> 00:26:42,439
Speaker 1: it was a cliff notes version of everything that that

483
00:26:42,520 --> 00:26:45,320
Speaker 1: scripture has to say about that. It's really beautifully stated.

484
00:26:45,359 --> 00:26:48,440
Speaker 1: So when do we need to start having this conversation

485
00:26:49,520 --> 00:26:51,760
Speaker 1: with our kids at what, BOYD do you think we

486
00:26:51,840 --> 00:26:52,880
Speaker 1: need to launch into that?

487
00:26:53,640 --> 00:26:55,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, So I usually I tell people that if you're

488
00:26:55,880 --> 00:26:58,120
Speaker 2: not sitting down, you might want to take a feat.

489
00:27:00,119 --> 00:27:01,760
Speaker 2: The first time I said this in front of a

490
00:27:01,800 --> 00:27:03,840
Speaker 2: live audience, there was like a collective and take of

491
00:27:03,880 --> 00:27:05,320
Speaker 2: breath that I was like, hold on, hold on, let

492
00:27:05,359 --> 00:27:09,879
Speaker 2: me explain. So I recommend having the first of many

493
00:27:10,280 --> 00:27:14,320
Speaker 2: sexuality based discussions with our children around the age of four. Now,

494
00:27:14,359 --> 00:27:17,520
Speaker 2: for anyone who's listening whose children are over for it

495
00:27:17,560 --> 00:27:19,560
Speaker 2: is not too late for you to start these conversations.

496
00:27:19,600 --> 00:27:21,440
Speaker 2: So that's not at all what I'm saying. What I'm

497
00:27:21,440 --> 00:27:24,680
Speaker 2: saying is I think four is a really wise time

498
00:27:25,200 --> 00:27:27,720
Speaker 2: and a pretty easy time to start. So I'm going

499
00:27:27,760 --> 00:27:30,000
Speaker 2: to give a couple of reasons why I recommend starting

500
00:27:30,040 --> 00:27:32,479
Speaker 2: around the age of four. The first is just what

501
00:27:32,880 --> 00:27:36,959
Speaker 2: Hillary Ferrer from Mamreapologetics has coined the founder's effect, and

502
00:27:37,000 --> 00:27:40,080
Speaker 2: that is just the psychological phenomenon that whoever is the

503
00:27:40,119 --> 00:27:42,400
Speaker 2: first person to talk with us about a topic naturally

504
00:27:42,400 --> 00:27:45,440
Speaker 2: becomes the expert in our minds. And I actually experienced

505
00:27:45,440 --> 00:27:48,600
Speaker 2: this recently that my car started making a new sound

506
00:27:48,720 --> 00:27:51,399
Speaker 2: that I hadn't made before, and I was like, is

507
00:27:51,440 --> 00:27:54,000
Speaker 2: this just because my car is getting old or is

508
00:27:54,000 --> 00:27:55,360
Speaker 2: something wrong? Like do I need to take it into

509
00:27:55,400 --> 00:27:56,840
Speaker 2: the shop. So I texted a friend. I was like, Hey,

510
00:27:56,840 --> 00:27:58,400
Speaker 2: can I speak about your house tonight with my car.

511
00:27:58,440 --> 00:28:00,200
Speaker 2: Have your husband look at it, you know, tell me

512
00:28:00,240 --> 00:28:01,280
Speaker 2: if I need to take it in or not. She

513
00:28:01,320 --> 00:28:02,920
Speaker 2: was like sure. So I pull up to her house.

514
00:28:02,960 --> 00:28:05,679
Speaker 2: Her husband comes out of that door and he's like, Eliza,

515
00:28:05,800 --> 00:28:08,240
Speaker 2: I'm happy to take your car around the block, But

516
00:28:08,280 --> 00:28:09,720
Speaker 2: why are you asking me to do this? I don't

517
00:28:09,760 --> 00:28:12,680
Speaker 2: know anything about cars? And I actually burst it out laughing,

518
00:28:12,720 --> 00:28:14,879
Speaker 2: and I was like, that's a really great question. I

519
00:28:14,920 --> 00:28:17,119
Speaker 2: don't know why I am asking you this. And then

520
00:28:17,160 --> 00:28:20,720
Speaker 2: I thought about it and I realized that the month

521
00:28:20,800 --> 00:28:22,880
Speaker 2: that I first moved to the town where I now live,

522
00:28:23,040 --> 00:28:25,199
Speaker 2: I was in the middle of driving. I got a

523
00:28:25,200 --> 00:28:28,359
Speaker 2: flat tire, and my friend I called her and her

524
00:28:28,440 --> 00:28:30,680
Speaker 2: husband came to my rescue, and he put a spare

525
00:28:31,080 --> 00:28:32,840
Speaker 2: on the on the side of the road, and then

526
00:28:32,880 --> 00:28:35,040
Speaker 2: he pointed me to a garage where he'd get my tires.

527
00:28:35,080 --> 00:28:38,600
Speaker 2: Permanently changed. So in my mind, he has now become

528
00:28:38,640 --> 00:28:42,480
Speaker 2: the expert on all things cars, simply because he was

529
00:28:42,520 --> 00:28:45,000
Speaker 2: the first person in this town to talk with me

530
00:28:45,160 --> 00:28:50,520
Speaker 2: about auto mechanics. And it's similar with our children in sexuality.

531
00:28:50,880 --> 00:28:53,640
Speaker 2: That whoever is the first person to introduce them to

532
00:28:53,720 --> 00:28:56,120
Speaker 2: the concept of sexuality, you know, whether it's a friend,

533
00:28:56,600 --> 00:28:58,840
Speaker 2: whether it's a YouTube person you know, or some other

534
00:28:58,920 --> 00:29:02,560
Speaker 2: personality on social media, or a character on a show,

535
00:29:03,080 --> 00:29:06,000
Speaker 2: or another adult you know, whoever it is, that person

536
00:29:06,080 --> 00:29:10,400
Speaker 2: will subconsciously become the expert in our kids' minds, and

537
00:29:10,440 --> 00:29:13,040
Speaker 2: so anything that we say is going to be filtered

538
00:29:13,080 --> 00:29:16,479
Speaker 2: through what that other person told them. Now again, if

539
00:29:16,520 --> 00:29:19,880
Speaker 2: you haven't started these conversations yet and your children are older,

540
00:29:19,920 --> 00:29:22,760
Speaker 2: that doesn't mean you can't work to undo some of

541
00:29:22,800 --> 00:29:26,360
Speaker 2: what's already been done. I'm just saying it's easiest. It's

542
00:29:26,440 --> 00:29:28,800
Speaker 2: easiest to do this at the young age because we then,

543
00:29:28,880 --> 00:29:31,400
Speaker 2: if we're the first person to have these conversations, we

544
00:29:31,440 --> 00:29:34,720
Speaker 2: have then naturally established ourselves as the expert, and it's

545
00:29:34,760 --> 00:29:37,880
Speaker 2: a lot easier for our children to come to us

546
00:29:37,920 --> 00:29:40,680
Speaker 2: with their questions, their concerns, or anxieties, their fears, you know,

547
00:29:40,720 --> 00:29:44,080
Speaker 2: whatever comes up. The second reason I recommend starting around

548
00:29:44,120 --> 00:29:46,920
Speaker 2: the age of four is we want our children to

549
00:29:47,000 --> 00:29:50,160
Speaker 2: know that God's design is good like we want that

550
00:29:50,240 --> 00:29:53,400
Speaker 2: to be the foundation. We don't want them to primarily

551
00:29:53,440 --> 00:29:56,520
Speaker 2: be thinking about what God has forbidden because it's sin,

552
00:29:56,840 --> 00:30:00,400
Speaker 2: but primarily thinking about the goodness of God does our

553
00:30:00,440 --> 00:30:03,280
Speaker 2: creator in what he has given us. And so if

554
00:30:03,320 --> 00:30:06,440
Speaker 2: we wait to have these conversations, you know, until our

555
00:30:06,520 --> 00:30:09,360
Speaker 2: unwed niece announces her pregnancy, or until the family that

556
00:30:09,400 --> 00:30:11,440
Speaker 2: moves in next door is a family with two dads,

557
00:30:11,840 --> 00:30:13,840
Speaker 2: or the person you know ringing up our groceries at

558
00:30:13,880 --> 00:30:16,560
Speaker 2: Costco is a man who's presenting himself as a woman,

559
00:30:16,920 --> 00:30:19,360
Speaker 2: we have to go into backtracking mode and then explain

560
00:30:19,440 --> 00:30:22,000
Speaker 2: to our kids how what they just saw does not

561
00:30:22,120 --> 00:30:26,040
Speaker 2: align with God's design before they even know what God's

562
00:30:26,080 --> 00:30:29,719
Speaker 2: design is. So if we can really have these conversations first,

563
00:30:29,800 --> 00:30:33,240
Speaker 2: then we can ensure our kids understand the goodness of

564
00:30:33,280 --> 00:30:35,920
Speaker 2: God's design as the foundation. Now, as a little bonus,

565
00:30:36,560 --> 00:30:38,760
Speaker 2: if you start these conversations around the age of four,

566
00:30:38,840 --> 00:30:41,360
Speaker 2: there's only one person in the conversation who feels awkward,

567
00:30:41,680 --> 00:30:43,480
Speaker 2: and that's you as the adult. You know, you're four

568
00:30:43,560 --> 00:30:46,440
Speaker 2: or five, six year old. They don't feel any embarrassment

569
00:30:46,520 --> 00:30:49,000
Speaker 2: or shame at that age talking about these things. So

570
00:30:49,080 --> 00:30:50,920
Speaker 2: that's why I recommend at a.

571
00:30:50,840 --> 00:30:56,240
Speaker 1: Young age, yes, and I totally agree with you, because

572
00:30:56,360 --> 00:30:59,240
Speaker 1: they're going to be having these conversations out there, particularly

573
00:30:59,320 --> 00:31:02,160
Speaker 1: if they're in a public school setting. But even if

574
00:31:02,160 --> 00:31:03,920
Speaker 1: they aren't, you know, in their private school setting and

575
00:31:03,920 --> 00:31:06,600
Speaker 1: their Christian school setting and their youth groups. Kids are

576
00:31:06,680 --> 00:31:11,560
Speaker 1: curious and they you know, they're curious about how things happen,

577
00:31:11,800 --> 00:31:14,120
Speaker 1: and you don't have to get into all of the details.

578
00:31:14,120 --> 00:31:17,200
Speaker 1: There's age appropriate conversations that you can have, and you

579
00:31:17,240 --> 00:31:21,320
Speaker 1: have recommendations on that. But what basically, then, should we

580
00:31:21,600 --> 00:31:25,200
Speaker 1: cover when we start to discuss this topic with our kids.

581
00:31:25,240 --> 00:31:28,760
Speaker 1: What are the basic what's the basic criteria we need

582
00:31:28,760 --> 00:31:38,040
Speaker 1: to go over? Hey, friends, it's Catherine here. If you're

583
00:31:38,120 --> 00:31:41,040
Speaker 1: trying to be a godly parent in this wild and

584
00:31:41,240 --> 00:31:43,680
Speaker 1: wacky world, you need all the help you can get,

585
00:31:44,120 --> 00:31:47,400
Speaker 1: and I've got you covered. When you subscribe to my website,

586
00:31:47,440 --> 00:31:51,320
Speaker 1: you'll get instant access to tons of free resources made

587
00:31:51,520 --> 00:31:55,040
Speaker 1: just for Christian parents. You'll get my Prodigal Bundle, which

588
00:31:55,080 --> 00:31:58,360
Speaker 1: is packed with every podcast, article and scripture list I've

589
00:31:58,400 --> 00:32:02,520
Speaker 1: created for parents walking that tough prodigal road. You'll also

590
00:32:02,600 --> 00:32:05,840
Speaker 1: get my free eat book Beyond the Lies and covering

591
00:32:05,920 --> 00:32:09,760
Speaker 1: five myths the culture spreads to mothers, plus powerful scripture

592
00:32:09,800 --> 00:32:12,800
Speaker 1: list pray over your kids, and even scripture songs to

593
00:32:12,800 --> 00:32:16,120
Speaker 1: help your family. Hi, God's word in your hearts without

594
00:32:16,160 --> 00:32:19,240
Speaker 1: even trying. And of course I'll keep you encouraged with

595
00:32:19,360 --> 00:32:23,080
Speaker 1: my weekly newsletter full of faith filled PEP talks and

596
00:32:23,280 --> 00:32:26,200
Speaker 1: outlines of what we're tackling each week on the show.

597
00:32:26,280 --> 00:32:28,880
Speaker 1: So don't miss out. Head over to Catherine Scars dot com.

598
00:32:29,200 --> 00:32:33,200
Speaker 1: That's Katherine Scres dot com and subscribe today. Because Christian

599
00:32:33,240 --> 00:32:36,080
Speaker 1: parenting may be crazy, but you don't have to do

600
00:32:36,200 --> 00:32:39,840
Speaker 1: it alone.

601
00:32:40,200 --> 00:32:42,200
Speaker 2: Yes, so I'm gonna get really practical here. I'm gonna

602
00:32:42,200 --> 00:32:45,800
Speaker 2: outline three really simple conversations to have with our kids,

603
00:32:45,960 --> 00:32:48,280
Speaker 2: just for all listeners. If you are listening with children

604
00:32:48,320 --> 00:32:50,640
Speaker 2: in the room right now, just be aware. I am

605
00:32:50,680 --> 00:32:53,480
Speaker 2: going to use the anatomically correct terms for genitalia. So

606
00:32:53,520 --> 00:32:55,600
Speaker 2: if you are not ready yet for your child to

607
00:32:55,640 --> 00:32:57,880
Speaker 2: be introduced to them, you know, just hip pause and

608
00:32:58,200 --> 00:33:00,840
Speaker 2: let your child go do something else and then hit

609
00:33:00,840 --> 00:33:01,320
Speaker 2: play again.

610
00:33:01,920 --> 00:33:04,200
Speaker 1: So do that so you can be the expert instead

611
00:33:04,240 --> 00:33:06,800
Speaker 1: of Yeah, you're a good expert, but the expert in

612
00:33:06,800 --> 00:33:07,720
Speaker 1: the home is better, So go.

613
00:33:07,680 --> 00:33:09,520
Speaker 2: Ahead, Yes, you don't want me to be the first

614
00:33:09,520 --> 00:33:13,000
Speaker 2: one over a podcast injuries as to your child, So

615
00:33:13,080 --> 00:33:17,160
Speaker 2: I recommend having three simple conversations at three different times

616
00:33:17,520 --> 00:33:19,520
Speaker 2: and a lot of times because we get so nervous

617
00:33:19,520 --> 00:33:21,520
Speaker 2: about these conversations. We might think it needs to be

618
00:33:21,600 --> 00:33:24,040
Speaker 2: like this big sit down thing where it totally doesn't

619
00:33:24,080 --> 00:33:26,560
Speaker 2: need to be that. It can be while you're building legos,

620
00:33:26,600 --> 00:33:29,760
Speaker 2: you know, while you're baking cookies, while you're you know,

621
00:33:29,840 --> 00:33:33,480
Speaker 2: driving to soccer practice. So the first conversation is about

622
00:33:33,520 --> 00:33:36,960
Speaker 2: just the biological difference between males and females. Second conversation

623
00:33:37,080 --> 00:33:39,880
Speaker 2: is the basic mechanics of sex, and the third conversation

624
00:33:39,960 --> 00:33:42,320
Speaker 2: is just the very basics of reproduction. So for the

625
00:33:42,360 --> 00:33:46,160
Speaker 2: first conversation on you know, the biological difference between males

626
00:33:46,200 --> 00:33:49,480
Speaker 2: and females, recommend asking your child what is one of

627
00:33:49,520 --> 00:33:51,960
Speaker 2: their favorite toys? You know, talk about this favorite toy,

628
00:33:52,000 --> 00:33:54,200
Speaker 2: what they like about it so much, and then say, okay,

629
00:33:54,200 --> 00:33:57,480
Speaker 2: how do you treat this toy differently than all the

630
00:33:57,520 --> 00:33:59,480
Speaker 2: rest of your toys? You know, maybe your child keeps

631
00:33:59,480 --> 00:34:01,200
Speaker 2: it up on a high shelf so a younger sibling

632
00:34:01,200 --> 00:34:03,600
Speaker 2: can't play with it when they're away, or maybe they

633
00:34:03,640 --> 00:34:05,360
Speaker 2: keep it in the room when company comes over, so

634
00:34:05,360 --> 00:34:07,080
Speaker 2: that nobody else plays with it. Maybe it's a toy

635
00:34:07,120 --> 00:34:08,960
Speaker 2: they keep solely in the house. They don't take it

636
00:34:08,960 --> 00:34:11,000
Speaker 2: out in the yard or in the car because they

637
00:34:11,040 --> 00:34:13,399
Speaker 2: want to keep it clean and special. And then say,

638
00:34:13,719 --> 00:34:16,000
Speaker 2: just like we have special toys that we treat with

639
00:34:16,040 --> 00:34:19,160
Speaker 2: special care, God has given us special body parts that

640
00:34:19,239 --> 00:34:21,520
Speaker 2: we are to treat with special care. And you can

641
00:34:21,520 --> 00:34:23,680
Speaker 2: take them right to Genesis one twenty seven about us

642
00:34:23,719 --> 00:34:26,560
Speaker 2: being created in God's image as male or female, and

643
00:34:26,600 --> 00:34:28,520
Speaker 2: you can ask what truths are revealed, and then say,

644
00:34:28,560 --> 00:34:30,480
Speaker 2: you know what, God designed you as a boy, So

645
00:34:30,520 --> 00:34:32,959
Speaker 2: the special part of your body that God has given

646
00:34:33,000 --> 00:34:36,360
Speaker 2: you is called your penis. And then if you have

647
00:34:36,400 --> 00:34:38,080
Speaker 2: a girl, you can say the special part if your

648
00:34:38,120 --> 00:34:40,360
Speaker 2: body that God has given you is called your vagina.

649
00:34:40,520 --> 00:34:44,040
Speaker 2: Then if you have kids of opposite sex, this conversation

650
00:34:44,120 --> 00:34:46,759
Speaker 2: might already have happened because you're bathing together. You know,

651
00:34:46,760 --> 00:34:49,920
Speaker 2: you're changing diapers, and they probably already understand this. But

652
00:34:49,960 --> 00:34:53,759
Speaker 2: if not, then you can just you can explain what

653
00:34:54,160 --> 00:34:57,120
Speaker 2: the body part for the opposite sex is, and you

654
00:34:57,120 --> 00:34:59,719
Speaker 2: can just get a book that has a simple Developmentally

655
00:34:59,719 --> 00:35:03,759
Speaker 2: a p illustration I'm forgetting the name of the book,

656
00:35:03,760 --> 00:35:06,400
Speaker 2: but it's in It's the first book in the God's

657
00:35:06,440 --> 00:35:09,759
Speaker 2: Design for Sex series by Stan and Brenna Jones. It

658
00:35:09,880 --> 00:35:12,880
Speaker 2: just has very very basic illustrations that are appropriate for

659
00:35:12,960 --> 00:35:15,680
Speaker 2: kids to see. And then you can say, you know,

660
00:35:15,760 --> 00:35:20,240
Speaker 2: this part of your body is so special that nobody

661
00:35:20,280 --> 00:35:23,600
Speaker 2: should look at or touch this part of your body

662
00:35:23,680 --> 00:35:25,640
Speaker 2: unless your dad and I are helping care for you,

663
00:35:26,040 --> 00:35:28,560
Speaker 2: or unless the doctor is examining you to make sure

664
00:35:28,600 --> 00:35:31,200
Speaker 2: that you are healthy, and say, when we're in public,

665
00:35:31,640 --> 00:35:33,719
Speaker 2: this part of your body, it's so special, we're going

666
00:35:33,760 --> 00:35:35,319
Speaker 2: to keep it private. And if you need to tell

667
00:35:35,360 --> 00:35:37,120
Speaker 2: me something about your penis, or you need to tell

668
00:35:37,160 --> 00:35:39,759
Speaker 2: me something about your vagina when you're in public, you

669
00:35:39,800 --> 00:35:42,520
Speaker 2: can say your private part because we're going to keep

670
00:35:42,560 --> 00:35:45,080
Speaker 2: it private. And then you can ask your child if

671
00:35:45,080 --> 00:35:47,400
Speaker 2: they have any questions, and then let them know if

672
00:35:47,400 --> 00:35:49,040
Speaker 2: they have any questions in the future, they can come

673
00:35:49,040 --> 00:35:50,600
Speaker 2: to you. This is where parents might get a little

674
00:35:50,600 --> 00:35:52,800
Speaker 2: scared thinking like, oh, my goodness, you have no idea

675
00:35:52,800 --> 00:35:54,480
Speaker 2: what kind of questions my four year old asked, like

676
00:35:54,520 --> 00:35:57,640
Speaker 2: I don't even want to know. Or this is if

677
00:35:57,640 --> 00:36:00,680
Speaker 2: your child asks you a question that stumps or shocks

678
00:36:00,800 --> 00:36:03,720
Speaker 2: or horrifies you. I recommend you just keep your poker

679
00:36:03,760 --> 00:36:06,200
Speaker 2: face on, keep a smile, and say, I am so

680
00:36:06,280 --> 00:36:08,920
Speaker 2: grateful that God has giving you a mind that asks

681
00:36:09,040 --> 00:36:11,040
Speaker 2: really good questions. I'm going to need a little bit

682
00:36:11,080 --> 00:36:12,920
Speaker 2: more time to get an answer to that question. But

683
00:36:12,960 --> 00:36:14,879
Speaker 2: you know what, tomorrow we'll come back and we'll talk

684
00:36:14,920 --> 00:36:17,520
Speaker 2: about that question. And that gives you time. You know,

685
00:36:17,560 --> 00:36:19,520
Speaker 2: if you're married, you talk with your spouse, you know,

686
00:36:20,520 --> 00:36:22,360
Speaker 2: talk with it about the Lord, or talk about it

687
00:36:22,360 --> 00:36:23,719
Speaker 2: with the Lord, you know, talk with a good friend,

688
00:36:23,760 --> 00:36:25,160
Speaker 2: and it gives you twenty four hours to be able

689
00:36:25,200 --> 00:36:27,920
Speaker 2: to come back with an answer. So that's the first conversation,

690
00:36:28,760 --> 00:36:32,359
Speaker 2: super simple. The next conversation is the most difficult one.

691
00:36:32,400 --> 00:36:34,919
Speaker 2: It's the basic mechanics of sex. And so I'll walk

692
00:36:34,960 --> 00:36:36,879
Speaker 2: through how to have that conversation. But I can tell

693
00:36:36,920 --> 00:36:39,160
Speaker 2: you now and now, since I do not have children

694
00:36:39,160 --> 00:36:41,200
Speaker 2: of my own, it has not been my job to

695
00:36:41,280 --> 00:36:43,920
Speaker 2: give this conversation to children. However, I can tell you

696
00:36:43,960 --> 00:36:47,360
Speaker 2: from someone who has now given this talk on podcasts

697
00:36:47,520 --> 00:36:51,120
Speaker 2: or radio shows close to fifty times. The more you

698
00:36:51,200 --> 00:36:53,360
Speaker 2: say this, the easier it is to talk about. Like

699
00:36:53,440 --> 00:36:55,880
Speaker 2: the first time I had to explain the basic mechanics

700
00:36:55,880 --> 00:36:58,080
Speaker 2: of sex on the radio. I thought I was going

701
00:36:58,160 --> 00:37:01,279
Speaker 2: to die, but I held us together, you know, and

702
00:37:01,360 --> 00:37:04,239
Speaker 2: now it's so much easier. So it's similar with your kids.

703
00:37:04,280 --> 00:37:05,879
Speaker 2: If you think, oh my goodness, I'm just gonna die

704
00:37:05,880 --> 00:37:08,480
Speaker 2: with this conversation, it might feel like torture to you,

705
00:37:08,920 --> 00:37:11,600
Speaker 2: but it opens up the door for future conversations. And

706
00:37:11,640 --> 00:37:14,280
Speaker 2: by the time you've talked about this the third, the fourth,

707
00:37:14,280 --> 00:37:18,040
Speaker 2: the fifth, and sixth time, it isn't awkward anymore. So

708
00:37:18,400 --> 00:37:20,919
Speaker 2: for this conversation, I recommend you talk with your child

709
00:37:20,960 --> 00:37:23,840
Speaker 2: about promises and ask them if they've ever made a promise.

710
00:37:23,840 --> 00:37:25,520
Speaker 2: You know, at four or five years older, your child

711
00:37:25,600 --> 00:37:28,400
Speaker 2: may never have made a promise before. So if they

712
00:37:28,400 --> 00:37:30,680
Speaker 2: haven't talked about a promise you've made to them. You know,

713
00:37:30,719 --> 00:37:32,400
Speaker 2: do you remember last week I promised that if you

714
00:37:32,480 --> 00:37:34,400
Speaker 2: cleaned up your room, we'd get to play a game

715
00:37:34,600 --> 00:37:36,759
Speaker 2: after dinner, Or you know, do you remember that I

716
00:37:36,800 --> 00:37:38,520
Speaker 2: promised you when I came back from that work trip,

717
00:37:38,560 --> 00:37:40,640
Speaker 2: I would bring you a treat and then say, did

718
00:37:40,680 --> 00:37:44,000
Speaker 2: you know that marriage is a promise? That's right. Marriage

719
00:37:44,040 --> 00:37:46,040
Speaker 2: is a promise that when a man and a woman

720
00:37:46,080 --> 00:37:49,359
Speaker 2: get married, they make a promise before God and each

721
00:37:49,400 --> 00:37:51,520
Speaker 2: other that they're going to love and care for one

722
00:37:51,560 --> 00:37:54,640
Speaker 2: another for their whole lives while they're both alive in

723
00:37:54,680 --> 00:37:57,080
Speaker 2: a way that they don't love or care for anyone else.

724
00:37:57,160 --> 00:37:58,600
Speaker 2: And then you can say, you know, sometimes when people

725
00:37:58,640 --> 00:38:00,800
Speaker 2: make a promise, they do some with their bodies to

726
00:38:00,840 --> 00:38:02,439
Speaker 2: show that they're going to keep it, Like sometimes people

727
00:38:02,480 --> 00:38:05,640
Speaker 2: might shake hands, or they might lock pinkies, or you know,

728
00:38:05,680 --> 00:38:07,880
Speaker 2: you can explain that if you've purchased a homes you

729
00:38:07,880 --> 00:38:10,080
Speaker 2: can say, when your dad and I purchased this home,

730
00:38:10,239 --> 00:38:11,880
Speaker 2: we had assign our name to a whole bunch of

731
00:38:11,880 --> 00:38:14,359
Speaker 2: papers to show that we were promising that we were

732
00:38:14,400 --> 00:38:16,759
Speaker 2: going to pay the money for this house, and say,

733
00:38:17,160 --> 00:38:21,040
Speaker 2: God has given a special act that confirms the promise

734
00:38:21,160 --> 00:38:24,560
Speaker 2: of marriage. And this act is called sex. And this

735
00:38:24,680 --> 00:38:26,759
Speaker 2: is the hardest part. Just keep it, smile on your face,

736
00:38:26,800 --> 00:38:30,320
Speaker 2: and you briefly explain. Sex is when a man places

737
00:38:30,320 --> 00:38:35,080
Speaker 2: his penis inside of a woman's vagina. This act reminds

738
00:38:35,120 --> 00:38:37,160
Speaker 2: the man and the woman of the promise that they

739
00:38:37,200 --> 00:38:40,759
Speaker 2: made to God and to one another. And then you

740
00:38:40,800 --> 00:38:43,560
Speaker 2: can ask your child if they have any questions about sex,

741
00:38:43,600 --> 00:38:45,120
Speaker 2: and you can let them know that sex is something

742
00:38:45,160 --> 00:38:47,879
Speaker 2: that's so special. It's just supposed to be shared between

743
00:38:47,880 --> 00:38:49,400
Speaker 2: a husband and a wife, so they don't need to

744
00:38:49,440 --> 00:38:51,920
Speaker 2: talk with their friends about it or anybody else. Their friends'

745
00:38:51,960 --> 00:38:53,799
Speaker 2: parents will talk with them about it, but if they

746
00:38:53,800 --> 00:38:55,960
Speaker 2: have any questions, they can come to you. This is again,

747
00:38:56,640 --> 00:38:59,280
Speaker 2: keep your poker face on if they ask you something

748
00:38:59,320 --> 00:39:01,439
Speaker 2: that you're not sure how to respond to. But once

749
00:39:01,440 --> 00:39:04,399
Speaker 2: you've had that conversation, you're gonna have similar ones again.

750
00:39:04,640 --> 00:39:07,040
Speaker 2: But you've gotten the hardest one out of the way,

751
00:39:07,120 --> 00:39:09,799
Speaker 2: So good job when you've done that one. And then

752
00:39:09,840 --> 00:39:13,839
Speaker 2: the third one, yes, huge, relye. The third one is

753
00:39:13,880 --> 00:39:16,680
Speaker 2: on the basics of reproduction. And so for this one,

754
00:39:16,840 --> 00:39:19,399
Speaker 2: recommend that you take your child's on a walk through

755
00:39:19,400 --> 00:39:22,440
Speaker 2: the neighborhood and just notice the plants that you see,

756
00:39:22,520 --> 00:39:24,720
Speaker 2: you know, notice the flowers that are growing, the bushes,

757
00:39:24,800 --> 00:39:26,600
Speaker 2: the trees, and then say, do you know how each

758
00:39:26,640 --> 00:39:29,400
Speaker 2: of these plants got started. They got started when a

759
00:39:29,440 --> 00:39:32,520
Speaker 2: seed was planted in the ground and it received sunlight

760
00:39:32,600 --> 00:39:35,120
Speaker 2: and water, and eventually it grew into a tiny plant

761
00:39:35,160 --> 00:39:37,520
Speaker 2: and now into the beautiful flower or bush or tree

762
00:39:37,680 --> 00:39:39,480
Speaker 2: that we see, and we can say you can then say,

763
00:39:39,640 --> 00:39:42,640
Speaker 2: did you know that God created our bodies with something

764
00:39:42,719 --> 00:39:45,279
Speaker 2: similar to seeds? And you can then explain, you know,

765
00:39:45,440 --> 00:39:47,640
Speaker 2: you're a boy, so the kind of seeds that God

766
00:39:47,680 --> 00:39:50,640
Speaker 2: has given your body is called sperm. Or you're a girl,

767
00:39:50,920 --> 00:39:52,719
Speaker 2: so the kind of seed that God has given your

768
00:39:52,760 --> 00:39:55,360
Speaker 2: body is called eggs. And then you can explain that

769
00:39:55,400 --> 00:39:57,560
Speaker 2: these are not like chicken eggs, but they're very, very

770
00:39:57,600 --> 00:39:59,839
Speaker 2: teeny tiny. And then you can say, you know, we've

771
00:40:00,080 --> 00:40:04,240
Speaker 2: seeing a lot of women who have babies growing inside

772
00:40:04,239 --> 00:40:06,239
Speaker 2: of them and it's been so exciting when we know

773
00:40:06,280 --> 00:40:08,640
Speaker 2: that a baby's about to be born. Then you can say,

774
00:40:08,680 --> 00:40:10,920
Speaker 2: you know, you may have wondered how did the baby

775
00:40:10,960 --> 00:40:13,120
Speaker 2: get there, and you can say the answer to that

776
00:40:13,200 --> 00:40:16,920
Speaker 2: question is through sex. When a man places his penis

777
00:40:16,960 --> 00:40:20,719
Speaker 2: inside of a woman's vagina, his penis releases some sperm,

778
00:40:21,040 --> 00:40:24,799
Speaker 2: and if that sperm connects with the woman's egg, a

779
00:40:25,000 --> 00:40:28,520
Speaker 2: baby begins to grow inside of her. And so you

780
00:40:28,560 --> 00:40:30,719
Speaker 2: can explain that this is special, that all babies are

781
00:40:30,760 --> 00:40:33,560
Speaker 2: fearfully and wonderfully made. Then again, ask your child if

782
00:40:33,600 --> 00:40:36,200
Speaker 2: they have any questions, and you can remind them that

783
00:40:36,280 --> 00:40:38,399
Speaker 2: this is something that's special, and it's so special they're

784
00:40:38,400 --> 00:40:40,200
Speaker 2: not going to talk about it with their friends or

785
00:40:40,200 --> 00:40:42,200
Speaker 2: with other people, but if they have any questions, they

786
00:40:42,200 --> 00:40:45,280
Speaker 2: can always come to you. So I hope that these

787
00:40:45,920 --> 00:40:48,640
Speaker 2: three outlined conversations can give people just a little bit

788
00:40:48,680 --> 00:40:51,520
Speaker 2: of like ooh, a sigh of relief that it might

789
00:40:51,640 --> 00:40:53,840
Speaker 2: not be the most fun thing that you're going to

790
00:40:53,920 --> 00:40:56,719
Speaker 2: do in your week, but it's not impossible that you

791
00:40:56,760 --> 00:40:59,759
Speaker 2: can have these conversations in a developmentally appropriate way. Now,

792
00:41:00,080 --> 00:41:01,880
Speaker 2: anyone who has kids who are like you're like, oh

793
00:41:01,920 --> 00:41:04,560
Speaker 2: my godess my child is eight or my child is eleven,

794
00:41:04,640 --> 00:41:06,480
Speaker 2: or my child is thirteen, and you haven't had any

795
00:41:06,520 --> 00:41:10,040
Speaker 2: of these conversations. You can still have these conversations with them,

796
00:41:10,040 --> 00:41:12,719
Speaker 2: and I recommend that you do so sooner rather than later.

797
00:41:13,120 --> 00:41:16,400
Speaker 2: But start off the conversation by saying, you know, I

798
00:41:16,440 --> 00:41:19,840
Speaker 2: want to talk with you about God's gift of sex.

799
00:41:20,480 --> 00:41:23,400
Speaker 2: And you know, I probably should have started this conversation

800
00:41:23,719 --> 00:41:26,040
Speaker 2: a few years ago, and I'm really sorry that I didn't.

801
00:41:26,040 --> 00:41:27,759
Speaker 2: So I just want to know have you ever heard

802
00:41:27,800 --> 00:41:30,160
Speaker 2: the word sex before? You know? What have you heard

803
00:41:30,200 --> 00:41:32,439
Speaker 2: about it? And give your child an opportunity to share

804
00:41:32,440 --> 00:41:33,920
Speaker 2: with you, because all you want to know at this

805
00:41:33,960 --> 00:41:36,480
Speaker 2: point is just what do they know or think they

806
00:41:36,520 --> 00:41:39,080
Speaker 2: know what they don't really know, and then hear what

807
00:41:39,120 --> 00:41:41,839
Speaker 2: they have to say, don't immediately jump into correct them

808
00:41:41,960 --> 00:41:45,080
Speaker 2: if they give you some wild and crazy information. Just

809
00:41:45,160 --> 00:41:47,439
Speaker 2: thank them for sharing and say, oh, thank you so much,

810
00:41:47,760 --> 00:41:49,600
Speaker 2: you know, for sharing this with me. And you know what,

811
00:41:50,160 --> 00:41:52,120
Speaker 2: as your mom or as your dad, I really should

812
00:41:52,120 --> 00:41:54,440
Speaker 2: have been the first person to have this conversation with you.

813
00:41:54,640 --> 00:41:56,920
Speaker 2: And I'm really sorry that I waited too long. But

814
00:41:56,960 --> 00:41:59,439
Speaker 2: you know, let's have a conversation right now, and then

815
00:41:59,480 --> 00:42:02,399
Speaker 2: you can go in to the conversations we just talked

816
00:42:02,400 --> 00:42:04,359
Speaker 2: about and correct any of their misinformation.

817
00:42:06,760 --> 00:42:09,239
Speaker 1: Awesome. I think you dig cover the bases. I know

818
00:42:09,680 --> 00:42:14,560
Speaker 1: you mentioned you said Stan and Brenna Jones. I'm not

819
00:42:14,640 --> 00:42:17,080
Speaker 1: familiar with those. We used a couple of books. It

820
00:42:17,160 --> 00:42:19,800
Speaker 1: was by an author named Jim Burns. I don't know

821
00:42:19,840 --> 00:42:23,120
Speaker 1: if you've seen his It's God Made your Body, and

822
00:42:23,160 --> 00:42:28,200
Speaker 1: that's appropriate, I think for honestly, it's so basic, it's

823
00:42:28,239 --> 00:42:31,440
Speaker 1: probably starting right around that four year old age, and

824
00:42:31,480 --> 00:42:35,640
Speaker 1: they've got very appropriate illustrations so they can see exactly

825
00:42:36,640 --> 00:42:39,480
Speaker 1: it's anatomically correct, and you don't want to be using

826
00:42:39,800 --> 00:42:42,759
Speaker 1: other words. You want to use the right. Otherwise you

827
00:42:43,000 --> 00:42:46,640
Speaker 1: could jeopardize your position as being an expert, because when

828
00:42:46,640 --> 00:42:49,160
Speaker 1: they find out what the actual word is, but you

829
00:42:49,239 --> 00:42:53,160
Speaker 1: actually call that thing, then suddenly you could be discredited

830
00:42:53,280 --> 00:42:55,799
Speaker 1: if you're calling it something other than what it is.

831
00:42:56,160 --> 00:42:58,520
Speaker 1: So and he does do that. I tried to find

832
00:42:58,520 --> 00:43:00,719
Speaker 1: the books. I had them up in our life muscle section.

833
00:43:00,840 --> 00:43:02,440
Speaker 1: I think the kids took off with them and put

834
00:43:02,480 --> 00:43:04,440
Speaker 1: them somewhere else. When we went through them several times.

835
00:43:04,440 --> 00:43:07,920
Speaker 1: They were really good, you know, because it is and

836
00:43:08,000 --> 00:43:09,680
Speaker 1: you want to make sure you cover all the bases.

837
00:43:09,960 --> 00:43:13,160
Speaker 1: I do love the way that you brought in the

838
00:43:14,840 --> 00:43:19,200
Speaker 1: God's good design in terms of marriage between a man

839
00:43:19,239 --> 00:43:21,960
Speaker 1: and a woman. What that represents. I can't recall if

840
00:43:22,000 --> 00:43:25,240
Speaker 1: he goes into all of that in the book as well.

841
00:43:25,280 --> 00:43:28,200
Speaker 1: But that first book was God Made Your Body, and

842
00:43:29,120 --> 00:43:31,239
Speaker 1: I found it in a Christian bookstore, which those don't

843
00:43:31,239 --> 00:43:34,600
Speaker 1: really exist anymore, but we found one, and I remember

844
00:43:34,640 --> 00:43:36,920
Speaker 1: I usually I always try to find things cheaper, but

845
00:43:36,960 --> 00:43:40,640
Speaker 1: I paid full price. They are really great books, God

846
00:43:40,760 --> 00:43:42,839
Speaker 1: Made your Body. In the second one was God How

847
00:43:42,880 --> 00:43:46,520
Speaker 1: God made Babies, and that covered the basics of sex

848
00:43:46,560 --> 00:43:49,120
Speaker 1: and reproduction. I think both of those were in there.

849
00:43:49,800 --> 00:43:55,640
Speaker 1: And very appropriate, appropriate and tastefully done. And it made

850
00:43:55,719 --> 00:43:58,160
Speaker 1: for me. I remember when I looked at the book,

851
00:43:58,200 --> 00:43:59,919
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh gosh, this would be so much easy,

852
00:44:00,239 --> 00:44:02,759
Speaker 1: or just if I could walk through it. And we

853
00:44:02,880 --> 00:44:05,399
Speaker 1: did went through those books several times. They were very

854
00:44:05,400 --> 00:44:08,799
Speaker 1: curious about them. But now they know, and you know,

855
00:44:08,800 --> 00:44:12,160
Speaker 1: we can go back and it creates a launching pad

856
00:44:12,200 --> 00:44:15,719
Speaker 1: for future conversations when they need to have those. So

857
00:44:16,080 --> 00:44:20,440
Speaker 1: but for anyone who might say, well, I'm afraid, I'm

858
00:44:20,440 --> 00:44:23,920
Speaker 1: afraid that I'm gonna steal my child's innocence, I didn't

859
00:44:23,920 --> 00:44:25,840
Speaker 1: have to talk with my parents until I was I

860
00:44:25,880 --> 00:44:27,560
Speaker 1: don't know. I'm trying to think how old I was.

861
00:44:27,640 --> 00:44:27,960
Speaker 3: I was.

862
00:44:28,080 --> 00:44:31,200
Speaker 1: Honestly, I think second grade. Maybe it was like, I

863
00:44:31,200 --> 00:44:33,000
Speaker 1: don't know, seven or eight, it was a little bit

864
00:44:33,040 --> 00:44:35,480
Speaker 1: older than that. I was curious, I asked my mom.

865
00:44:35,920 --> 00:44:38,279
Speaker 1: I was in a Christian school setting. But this is

866
00:44:39,480 --> 00:44:42,440
Speaker 1: there's been a long time, many decades ago, and so

867
00:44:42,600 --> 00:44:45,399
Speaker 1: I don't think those conversations were as prevalent and all

868
00:44:45,440 --> 00:44:47,719
Speaker 1: of the things out in culture. It wasn't as in

869
00:44:47,760 --> 00:44:49,799
Speaker 1: your face, and we certainly didn't have a lot of

870
00:44:49,840 --> 00:44:52,480
Speaker 1: the other examples like you had, you know, at Costco

871
00:44:52,560 --> 00:44:56,200
Speaker 1: going through the line, wondering why this person who's clearly

872
00:44:56,239 --> 00:44:59,520
Speaker 1: male is dressed as a female. So, you know, we

873
00:44:59,640 --> 00:45:01,960
Speaker 1: had that conversation later, and I think a lot of

874
00:45:02,000 --> 00:45:04,480
Speaker 1: parents out there might be thinking, well, that's just gonna

875
00:45:04,600 --> 00:45:06,920
Speaker 1: I don't want to grow them up too quickly. I

876
00:45:06,960 --> 00:45:10,040
Speaker 1: want to preserve their innocence. But I think we're inadvertently

877
00:45:10,080 --> 00:45:12,360
Speaker 1: suggesting something when we say something like that that we

878
00:45:12,400 --> 00:45:16,720
Speaker 1: don't mean to suggest. So how do you answer that question?

879
00:45:25,040 --> 00:45:28,000
Speaker 2: Yes, Usually when someone comes to me with that question,

880
00:45:29,160 --> 00:45:32,160
Speaker 2: I respond with a question, and I say, so, if

881
00:45:32,200 --> 00:45:37,759
Speaker 2: I'm understanding you correctly, are you saying that sex is

882
00:45:37,800 --> 00:45:41,640
Speaker 2: inherently dirty and our children are better off before they

883
00:45:41,680 --> 00:45:44,640
Speaker 2: know that it exists? Because I don't know that we

884
00:45:44,680 --> 00:45:47,759
Speaker 2: would necessarily put it in those words, but I think

885
00:45:47,840 --> 00:45:51,080
Speaker 2: that is the underlying assumption, if we think that knowledge

886
00:45:51,680 --> 00:45:56,959
Speaker 2: that this act exists steals our kids innocence. What does

887
00:45:57,080 --> 00:46:01,239
Speaker 2: steal our kids innocence is when they are exposed to

888
00:46:01,320 --> 00:46:06,560
Speaker 2: something or experience something that falls outside of God's good

889
00:46:06,560 --> 00:46:10,400
Speaker 2: design and they don't they haven't learned about this, and

890
00:46:10,440 --> 00:46:13,880
Speaker 2: so they're left unprepared with knowing what to do. And

891
00:46:13,920 --> 00:46:17,080
Speaker 2: so I really encourage parents, you know, if you really

892
00:46:17,200 --> 00:46:20,280
Speaker 2: do feel that this is stealing your child's innocence somehow,

893
00:46:20,719 --> 00:46:23,600
Speaker 2: to really just spend some time in prayer asking God,

894
00:46:23,680 --> 00:46:27,160
Speaker 2: you know, God, do I really have a biblical understanding

895
00:46:27,640 --> 00:46:31,200
Speaker 2: of the gift of sexuality within marriage? Now. It's really

896
00:46:31,280 --> 00:46:33,880
Speaker 2: easy for me to sit here and say this simply

897
00:46:33,920 --> 00:46:37,200
Speaker 2: because I've never been married, so I have never experienced

898
00:46:37,200 --> 00:46:40,279
Speaker 2: the gift of sexual intimacy. But I know that for

899
00:46:40,320 --> 00:46:43,400
Speaker 2: a lot of people, because of things that they experience

900
00:46:43,480 --> 00:46:46,319
Speaker 2: when growing up, or maybe different baggage that they or

901
00:46:46,320 --> 00:46:49,919
Speaker 2: their spouse came to within marriage, that sexual intimacy within

902
00:46:49,960 --> 00:46:52,759
Speaker 2: marriage can be a real struggle struggle. And so I

903
00:46:52,800 --> 00:46:56,680
Speaker 2: think sometimes we as adults have that lens and think,

904
00:46:56,760 --> 00:46:58,640
Speaker 2: like I don't I don't really think that this is

905
00:46:58,719 --> 00:47:00,279
Speaker 2: like a good gift. This is just kind of like

906
00:47:00,320 --> 00:47:03,960
Speaker 2: wildly complicated, And so I think I would really encourage

907
00:47:03,960 --> 00:47:06,880
Speaker 2: anybody who's thinking along those lines just to spend some

908
00:47:06,920 --> 00:47:09,240
Speaker 2: time with the Lord talking through that and really diving

909
00:47:09,239 --> 00:47:11,440
Speaker 2: into scripture, to looking at to look at what does

910
00:47:11,480 --> 00:47:16,040
Speaker 2: God's word actually say about sex within marriage and making

911
00:47:16,040 --> 00:47:19,920
Speaker 2: sure that we have a biblical understanding, And then I

912
00:47:19,960 --> 00:47:24,040
Speaker 2: would encourage parents that having these conversations at a young

913
00:47:24,080 --> 00:47:28,839
Speaker 2: age doesn't steal our children's innocence, it actually protects it

914
00:47:29,600 --> 00:47:34,200
Speaker 2: because by explaining what God's good design is, we're helping

915
00:47:34,280 --> 00:47:39,360
Speaker 2: them understand the appropriate boundaries God has placed around that gift,

916
00:47:39,719 --> 00:47:42,520
Speaker 2: so that they can recognize when those boundaries are being crossed.

917
00:47:43,040 --> 00:47:46,160
Speaker 2: You mentioned, Catherine about how that book that you read

918
00:47:46,280 --> 00:47:49,800
Speaker 2: with your kids about sex, how it uses the anatomically

919
00:47:49,840 --> 00:47:53,920
Speaker 2: correct terms for genitalia. That's so important because when we

920
00:47:54,000 --> 00:47:56,200
Speaker 2: do that, we're helping our kids understand that this is

921
00:47:56,239 --> 00:47:58,279
Speaker 2: not a shameful part of your body. This is not

922
00:47:58,400 --> 00:48:02,080
Speaker 2: something that we're embarrassed about, but it's so special that

923
00:48:02,160 --> 00:48:03,680
Speaker 2: this is a part of your body that no one

924
00:48:03,680 --> 00:48:06,960
Speaker 2: should be looking at or touching. And so when we

925
00:48:07,000 --> 00:48:10,040
Speaker 2: can help them understand that truth, what we're doing is

926
00:48:10,120 --> 00:48:13,759
Speaker 2: we you know, we can never make sure that our

927
00:48:14,080 --> 00:48:17,319
Speaker 2: houses are like completely sexual abuse proof, you know, we

928
00:48:17,360 --> 00:48:19,759
Speaker 2: don't have that power. But what we can do is

929
00:48:19,760 --> 00:48:22,399
Speaker 2: we can give our kids an understanding of God's good

930
00:48:22,440 --> 00:48:28,280
Speaker 2: design to help try to protect them against any potential abuse.

931
00:48:28,480 --> 00:48:31,360
Speaker 2: Or similarly, you know, if we're having conversations at a

932
00:48:31,440 --> 00:48:34,120
Speaker 2: young age about pornography, even if we're just framing it

933
00:48:34,160 --> 00:48:38,439
Speaker 2: as bad pictures, helping protect our kids so that one

934
00:48:38,520 --> 00:48:43,120
Speaker 2: day when they do come across a pornographic image or video,

935
00:48:43,239 --> 00:48:47,200
Speaker 2: it's not something that then Lord willing ensnares them, but

936
00:48:47,520 --> 00:48:50,759
Speaker 2: it's something that they know how to respond to and

937
00:48:50,920 --> 00:48:53,799
Speaker 2: appropriately to reject it, to come and talk with you

938
00:48:53,880 --> 00:48:55,879
Speaker 2: about it. So that's what I would encourage any parent

939
00:48:55,920 --> 00:48:57,560
Speaker 2: who's thinking, like, oh, this is going to steal my

940
00:48:57,640 --> 00:48:59,880
Speaker 2: child innocence, that no, we need to make sure we

941
00:48:59,880 --> 00:49:04,239
Speaker 2: have a biblical understanding of sexuality and then that we

942
00:49:04,320 --> 00:49:08,120
Speaker 2: are actually protecting our children by preparing them with the

943
00:49:08,200 --> 00:49:10,040
Speaker 2: knowledge of what God's good design is.

944
00:49:12,160 --> 00:49:15,280
Speaker 1: Yes, And I think when we look back, I think

945
00:49:15,400 --> 00:49:17,640
Speaker 1: there are probably a lot of people in the audience

946
00:49:17,680 --> 00:49:21,160
Speaker 1: who may have come out of some very Christian circles

947
00:49:21,160 --> 00:49:25,560
Speaker 1: that did not have healthy, healthy understanding of God's good design,

948
00:49:25,680 --> 00:49:30,239
Speaker 1: because it seems like the enemy is always operating in extremes.

949
00:49:30,680 --> 00:49:33,160
Speaker 1: For a long time, really, even in the body of

950
00:49:33,239 --> 00:49:35,520
Speaker 1: Christ in many churches, I think it was just so taboo.

951
00:49:35,600 --> 00:49:39,160
Speaker 1: We didn't talk about it, we didn't really educate the

952
00:49:39,200 --> 00:49:42,360
Speaker 1: next generation, and it was all we told them to

953
00:49:42,400 --> 00:49:44,000
Speaker 1: do is don't do it, don't do it, don't do it,

954
00:49:44,040 --> 00:49:45,799
Speaker 1: and then all of a sudden they get married do it.

955
00:49:45,960 --> 00:49:48,560
Speaker 1: You're like, wait what just you know, it just is

956
00:49:48,640 --> 00:49:53,759
Speaker 1: so awkward and it's very confusing, and I think so

957
00:49:54,000 --> 00:49:56,279
Speaker 1: often in a lot of our Christian circles it was

958
00:49:56,320 --> 00:49:58,840
Speaker 1: taught as a it was kind of a taboo topic.

959
00:49:58,920 --> 00:50:01,040
Speaker 1: We just didn't talk about it. Skipped over the Song

960
00:50:01,080 --> 00:50:04,640
Speaker 1: of Solomon, that book altogether, right. We used to like

961
00:50:04,680 --> 00:50:07,680
Speaker 1: to read that back some of my Christian middle school days.

962
00:50:07,680 --> 00:50:10,919
Speaker 1: I remembering on the bus kind of reading a Song

963
00:50:10,960 --> 00:50:13,520
Speaker 1: of Solomon. Were like and you were supposed to skip

964
00:50:13,520 --> 00:50:16,160
Speaker 1: that stuff. And so some people may be coming out

965
00:50:16,160 --> 00:50:18,840
Speaker 1: of that kind of background and they feel awkward speaking

966
00:50:18,880 --> 00:50:21,080
Speaker 1: to their kids about it. But then now we live

967
00:50:21,080 --> 00:50:25,839
Speaker 1: in this hyper sexualized culture where everything is sexualized, and

968
00:50:26,480 --> 00:50:30,840
Speaker 1: we need to start, like exactly where you said, with

969
00:50:31,120 --> 00:50:35,080
Speaker 1: God's good design establishing that And I think in the process,

970
00:50:35,239 --> 00:50:38,440
Speaker 1: if it's hard for you, really spend some time, like

971
00:50:38,480 --> 00:50:40,960
Speaker 1: you said, going through the scripture and praying about it

972
00:50:41,040 --> 00:50:43,319
Speaker 1: to see if there's some healing you need in your

973
00:50:43,360 --> 00:50:46,000
Speaker 1: own life. Maybe there was something that happened to you

974
00:50:46,120 --> 00:50:49,919
Speaker 1: earlier on that you need some healing from that, because

975
00:50:49,960 --> 00:50:52,719
Speaker 1: you don't look at sex as being good and godly

976
00:50:52,960 --> 00:50:55,879
Speaker 1: and beautiful because it's a source of pain for you.

977
00:50:57,120 --> 00:51:00,319
Speaker 1: Or it could be just it was treated in the

978
00:51:00,360 --> 00:51:02,880
Speaker 1: circles that you were in as if it was something

979
00:51:03,000 --> 00:51:06,720
Speaker 1: wrong or taboo instead of something beautiful to be enjoyed

980
00:51:06,800 --> 00:51:11,000
Speaker 1: in the proper context. Or maybe some parents are coming

981
00:51:11,040 --> 00:51:16,040
Speaker 1: from non Christian backgrounds where it was treated frivolously, carelessly,

982
00:51:16,680 --> 00:51:21,240
Speaker 1: it wasn't guarded as something as precious and anything goes

983
00:51:21,320 --> 00:51:24,480
Speaker 1: kind of in that category, or you know, there were

984
00:51:24,520 --> 00:51:27,640
Speaker 1: no real limits around it so long as it was consensual.

985
00:51:27,920 --> 00:51:30,600
Speaker 1: So there's a lot of misconceptions, and we may have

986
00:51:30,680 --> 00:51:33,319
Speaker 1: a lot of baggage from our own background depending where

987
00:51:33,360 --> 00:51:36,520
Speaker 1: we come from, and so establishing this I can imagine

988
00:51:36,520 --> 00:51:41,279
Speaker 1: for a lot of parents may involve some healing themselves

989
00:51:41,440 --> 00:51:44,880
Speaker 1: in order to be able to establish this foundation for

990
00:51:45,400 --> 00:51:47,520
Speaker 1: our kids. But think, I mean, I'm so glad we're

991
00:51:47,520 --> 00:51:51,160
Speaker 1: having these conversations because we really didn't. I didn't have it,

992
00:51:51,280 --> 00:51:52,719
Speaker 1: like I said, I think it was in second grade

993
00:51:52,719 --> 00:51:54,440
Speaker 1: and I had the conversation with my mom, but it

994
00:51:54,480 --> 00:51:58,080
Speaker 1: was like a one and done probably conversation. I don't

995
00:51:58,120 --> 00:52:00,920
Speaker 1: know that we had all of the conversations that we

996
00:52:01,000 --> 00:52:04,840
Speaker 1: needed to. But Elizabeth, we have like barely barely scratched

997
00:52:04,840 --> 00:52:08,120
Speaker 1: the surface of this conversation here today, because I would

998
00:52:08,200 --> 00:52:11,239
Speaker 1: really like to tackle, now that we've done this, a

999
00:52:11,239 --> 00:52:14,160
Speaker 1: lot of the hot button topics that we were talking about.

1000
00:52:14,280 --> 00:52:17,840
Speaker 1: What exactly we kind of covered what sexual sin is here,

1001
00:52:17,880 --> 00:52:20,360
Speaker 1: but you know why exactly it's reserved for marriage, and

1002
00:52:20,400 --> 00:52:24,080
Speaker 1: what are the real consequences of stepping into outside of

1003
00:52:24,080 --> 00:52:27,919
Speaker 1: God's design? But also all of the topics we're dealing

1004
00:52:27,920 --> 00:52:32,000
Speaker 1: with in our culture, like same sex attraction, transgenderism, pornography,

1005
00:52:32,360 --> 00:52:36,120
Speaker 1: the issue of modesty, which is really can be very

1006
00:52:36,160 --> 00:52:38,920
Speaker 1: triggering and hot button topic, and a lot of church circles.

1007
00:52:39,239 --> 00:52:42,200
Speaker 1: But another m word, the one that no one wants

1008
00:52:42,239 --> 00:52:46,279
Speaker 1: to talk about with their kids, masturbation. So these are

1009
00:52:46,440 --> 00:52:50,239
Speaker 1: all questions our kids are facing, their topics that they're

1010
00:52:50,239 --> 00:52:52,960
Speaker 1: probably talking about with their kids, but maybe they've never

1011
00:52:53,000 --> 00:52:56,200
Speaker 1: talked with us about it, and they need to have

1012
00:52:56,280 --> 00:52:59,640
Speaker 1: very thoughtful biblical answers. So I would love to have

1013
00:52:59,640 --> 00:53:02,120
Speaker 1: a part of this conversation with you where we can

1014
00:53:02,480 --> 00:53:04,640
Speaker 1: Could you address all of it in your book Helping

1015
00:53:04,680 --> 00:53:07,640
Speaker 1: your kids know God's Good Design? Forty questions and answers

1016
00:53:07,719 --> 00:53:11,600
Speaker 1: on sexuality and gender. So before we wrap up today,

1017
00:53:11,600 --> 00:53:13,319
Speaker 1: why don't you tell our listeners where they can learn

1018
00:53:13,320 --> 00:53:16,640
Speaker 1: more about you Foundation Worldview and get a copy of

1019
00:53:16,680 --> 00:53:17,640
Speaker 1: this amazing book.

1020
00:53:18,280 --> 00:53:20,920
Speaker 2: Yes, well, if you can remember Foundation Worldview's name, you

1021
00:53:20,920 --> 00:53:23,440
Speaker 2: can just go to Foundationworldhey dot com and find out

1022
00:53:23,440 --> 00:53:26,040
Speaker 2: all the information about what we do there, and then

1023
00:53:26,320 --> 00:53:28,719
Speaker 2: we have links to the book on the website. Or

1024
00:53:28,760 --> 00:53:32,480
Speaker 2: you can just go directly to your favorite book distributor,

1025
00:53:32,480 --> 00:53:35,440
Speaker 2: whether it's Amazon, Barns, and Noble Christian book distributors, and

1026
00:53:35,560 --> 00:53:36,960
Speaker 2: you can find a copy of the book there.

1027
00:53:37,520 --> 00:53:40,040
Speaker 1: Awesome. Did you have any final thoughts anything you wanted

1028
00:53:40,080 --> 00:53:41,960
Speaker 1: to cover in this one before we talk about the

1029
00:53:42,000 --> 00:53:44,359
Speaker 1: hot button topics there? Really yeah, really tough ones.

1030
00:53:44,840 --> 00:53:46,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, I just want to I think just kind of

1031
00:53:46,400 --> 00:53:47,880
Speaker 2: want to sofa back to what we talked about at

1032
00:53:47,880 --> 00:53:50,080
Speaker 2: the beginning. Then. I'm sure that some parents, you know,

1033
00:53:50,160 --> 00:53:53,120
Speaker 2: are feeling overwhelmed after listening to this conversation, thinking oh,

1034
00:53:53,120 --> 00:53:55,560
Speaker 2: there's so much to talk about, or oh my goodness,

1035
00:53:55,560 --> 00:53:57,319
Speaker 2: you know, like I'm starting this really late. Just to

1036
00:53:57,400 --> 00:54:00,880
Speaker 2: remember again that God is working all things together for

1037
00:54:00,920 --> 00:54:03,040
Speaker 2: your good by using all things to conform you more

1038
00:54:03,080 --> 00:54:05,040
Speaker 2: into the image of his son. So I don't want

1039
00:54:05,040 --> 00:54:08,280
Speaker 2: anybody to leave feeling overwhelmed. Just take a deep breath,

1040
00:54:08,640 --> 00:54:12,040
Speaker 2: move forward that trusting God is sovereign over you know

1041
00:54:12,040 --> 00:54:15,279
Speaker 2: your timing even in thinking about this, and just be

1042
00:54:15,320 --> 00:54:16,920
Speaker 2: faithful with what He's called you too.

1043
00:54:17,480 --> 00:54:21,319
Speaker 1: Yes, and He's sovereign over our mistakes. Praise God. So

1044
00:54:21,440 --> 00:54:25,640
Speaker 1: grateful this has been so so helpful, Elizabeth. It's just

1045
00:54:25,719 --> 00:54:28,560
Speaker 1: always such a gift having you on the shows and parents.

1046
00:54:29,000 --> 00:54:31,520
Speaker 1: If you've ever felt stuck, unsure, or even afraid to

1047
00:54:31,520 --> 00:54:35,680
Speaker 1: step into these really sensitive hot button topics, especially in

1048
00:54:35,719 --> 00:54:39,919
Speaker 1: a culture that so often gets them wrong, you do

1049
00:54:40,000 --> 00:54:43,040
Speaker 1: not want to miss part two of this conversation. Elizabeth

1050
00:54:43,120 --> 00:54:44,719
Speaker 1: is going to walk us step by step through how

1051
00:54:44,760 --> 00:54:48,200
Speaker 1: to approach these very tough topics with clarity, with confidence,

1052
00:54:48,239 --> 00:54:52,759
Speaker 1: and with a solid biblical foundation. And always remember God

1053
00:54:52,840 --> 00:54:56,840
Speaker 1: gave you your kids, your specific kids for a reason.

1054
00:54:56,960 --> 00:54:59,960
Speaker 1: That's because you hold the key to unlocking you Guy

1055
00:55:00,440 --> 00:55:02,640
Speaker 1: created them to be. We'll see you next.

1056
00:55:02,480 --> 00:55:13,200
Speaker 3: Time, Christian parent Crazy World is a production of Life

1057
00:55:13,239 --> 00:55:16,400
Speaker 3: Audio and Salem Media. If you liked what you heard today,

1058
00:55:16,560 --> 00:55:19,480
Speaker 3: please take a second to rate and review this podcast

1059
00:55:19,600 --> 00:55:22,560
Speaker 3: in your favorite podcast app. So that more listeners like

1060
00:55:22,600 --> 00:55:26,920
Speaker 3: you can find the show. For more faith filled, inspirational podcasts,

1061
00:55:27,160 --> 00:55:42,080
Speaker 3: visit us at lifeaudio dot com.