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Speaker 1: Welcome to Christian Parent Crazy World, the podcast that tackles

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Speaker 1: tough topics to help you be a godly parent in

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Speaker 1: an ungodly world. I am your host, Catherine Seekers, and

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Speaker 1: today we are going there. We're tackling one of the

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Speaker 1: most sensitive and honestly, one of the most intimidating questions

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Speaker 1: parents face right now. How do we talk to our

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Speaker 1: kids about sexuality and gender and not just in theory.

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Speaker 1: We're talking about the hot button topics. Why is sex

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Speaker 1: reserved only for marriage between a man and a woman.

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Speaker 1: How do we address same sex attraction and transgenderism? How

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Speaker 1: do we talk about the other big word, yes, the

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Speaker 1: m word, masturbation. I know this is the part where

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Speaker 1: a lot of us want to hit pause, skip ahead

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Speaker 1: and pretend this conversation can wait. But it can't, because

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Speaker 1: whether we're ready or not, our kids are already hearing

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Speaker 1: about these things. They're asking questions, they're forming beliefs. So

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Speaker 1: the question isn't if these conversations happen, but who is

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Speaker 1: shaping them today. My guest is going to show us

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Speaker 1: how to step into these conversations with clarity, with confidence,

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Speaker 1: and with a solid biblical foundation. That's the ground we

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Speaker 1: will cover. In this episode of Christian Parent Crazy World,

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Speaker 1: we are continuing our conversation with one of the most

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Speaker 1: trusted voices I know when it comes to translating tough,

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Speaker 1: culturally charged topics into language our kids can actually understand.

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Speaker 1: Elizabeth or Baniwix is the founder and CEO of Foundation Worldview,

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Speaker 1: which is a Christian apologetics curriculum designed specifically for kids,

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Speaker 1: and she's just released a powerful new book, book Helping

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Speaker 1: Your Kids Know God's Good Design Forty Questions and Answers

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Speaker 1: on sexuality and gender. So parents, today we're heading into

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Speaker 1: the deep in. We're talking about the things we'd rather

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Speaker 1: avoid but absolutely cannot why because our kids are hearing

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Speaker 1: the world's version of these topics, And if we don't

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Speaker 1: lay the foundation of God's good design first, we'll spend

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Speaker 1: years trying to untangle confusion later. God's design is not random,

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Speaker 1: it's not restrictive. It is good, and it's time we

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Speaker 1: help our kids see it that way. So that's it.

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Speaker 1: Let's jump right in. Elizabeth, welcome back. I'm so glad

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Speaker 1: that you're able to spend a little more time with

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Speaker 1: us discussing all of the important topics surrounding sexuality and

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Speaker 1: gender from a perspective of God's good design. We've been

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Speaker 1: talking about helping your kids know God's good design. Forty

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Speaker 1: Questions and Answers on Sexuality and Gender, which is your

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Speaker 1: brand new book. Wow, we really got into it the

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Speaker 1: last one. We talked about so many amazing things. First off,

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Speaker 1: welcome back. I'm glad you can stick around.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, thanks so much for having me back on. I'm

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Speaker 2: excited for round two of us.

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Speaker 1: There's always so much to talk about with you, Elizabeth,

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Speaker 1: and we could do we could double up and do

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Speaker 1: a team podcast. I'm sure. I love I love how

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Speaker 1: you approach all of these topics. And I think I

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Speaker 1: called you in the last one in the last episode

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Speaker 1: the child Whisperer because I've heard you talk about this before.

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Speaker 1: You just have a mind gifted by God to take

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Speaker 1: these really tough topics and break them down to the

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Speaker 1: key components that our kids need to understand and come

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Speaker 1: up with really incredible analogies that help us to explain

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Speaker 1: it to them. I just think you're amazing at doing this,

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Speaker 1: and I'm so grateful for all of the curriculum that

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Speaker 1: you have out there, but especially this new book, and

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Speaker 1: so in the last episode. If you missed it, please

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Speaker 1: go back and check it out. First of all, we

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Speaker 1: kind of talked about we had a really moving section

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Speaker 1: because you put in your introduction about what our expectations

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Speaker 1: and parenting should be. It's not to raise perfect kids

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Speaker 1: who have perfect marriages and then create perfect kids themselves,

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Speaker 1: as if we could. That is not the goal. Sometimes

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Speaker 1: it's a goal and then we're like, how did that

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Speaker 1: not happen? But our goal, you say so beautifully, is

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Speaker 1: to plant seeds and then to nurture seeds. I was

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Speaker 1: talking about that actually out of First Corinthians chapter three,

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Speaker 1: and then you talk about our goal is to help

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Speaker 1: our kids to taste and see that the Lord is good,

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Speaker 1: and then hopefully seeing us the life of a genuine

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Speaker 1: disciple that wrestles through all of these tough topics with

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Speaker 1: the Lord and with our kids together. It was so

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Speaker 1: freeing and liberating to hear that perspective, and I love

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Speaker 1: that you start your book with that. But then we

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Speaker 1: also talked about what we need to cover in this

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Speaker 1: conversation about the birds and the bees, the facts of

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Speaker 1: life with our kids, and how we need to go

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Speaker 1: about you know, exactly what we need to cover. So

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Speaker 1: if you are wondering and if you didn't know what

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Speaker 1: to do, we have recommendations of some picture books that

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Speaker 1: you can get that are biblically sound as well. But

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Speaker 1: you walked through all of the stuff that we need

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Speaker 1: to talk about in that conversation, so definitely check that out.

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Speaker 1: But today, today, now that we have that firm foundation,

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Speaker 1: we are going to talk about all these hot button

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Speaker 1: cultural topics surrounding sexuality and gender in our culture, the

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Speaker 1: ones that a lot of us are afraid to step

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Speaker 1: into and we're really not sure what to say or

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Speaker 1: how to say it. One of the topics I think

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Speaker 1: you deal with so beautifully in the book is what

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Speaker 1: exactly is sexual sin? Because in our culture, the only

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Speaker 1: thing that would be sinful sexually would be something that

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Speaker 1: wasn't consensual, and that is not what our Holy book says.

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Speaker 1: According to God's good design, there is a right and

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Speaker 1: a wrong way to embark in a sexual relationship with someone.

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Speaker 1: So what exactly how do we explain that to these

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Speaker 1: little minds and trusted to our care. How do we

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Speaker 1: explain what sexual sin is?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so just explaining sin in general to our kids. Yes, Yes,

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Speaker 2: the Greek word for sin. And again I'm not a

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Speaker 2: Greek scholar, so this isn't going to come out of

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Speaker 2: my mouth correctly, but it's hamartia, which means to miss

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Speaker 2: the mark. And so I think a simple activity that

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Speaker 2: you can do is get some type of soft ball

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Speaker 2: or some other type of you know, just stuffed animal

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Speaker 2: or throwing objects instead of a target on the wall,

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Speaker 2: and let your kids try to throw, you know, whatever

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Speaker 2: that soft object is to hit the target, you know,

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Speaker 2: and sometimes they're going to hit it, sometimes they're going

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Speaker 2: to miss it. And you can say, when we sin,

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Speaker 2: it's when we hit the or when we miss the

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Speaker 2: target that God has told us how we are to

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Speaker 2: live and how we are to live always aligns with

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Speaker 2: who God is. We're to tell the truth because God

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Speaker 2: is truth. We are to love others because God is love.

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Speaker 2: We are to be kind because God's loving kindness goes

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Speaker 2: towards all his creation. And so when we miss the mark,

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Speaker 2: we are sinning against God. And so we can talk

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Speaker 2: about that just in life in general, and then we

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Speaker 2: can explain. We can say, you know, do you remember

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Speaker 2: who did God design the gift of sex? Or that's right,

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Speaker 2: he designed it for a husband and a wife who

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Speaker 2: are married, so one man and one woman becoming one

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Speaker 2: flesh for life. And then we can say, you know,

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Speaker 2: sometimes people decide that they are going to take the

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Speaker 2: good gift of sex outside of marriage, and so they

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Speaker 2: might decide to have sex with someone who is not

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Speaker 2: their husband or not their wife. And when this happens,

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Speaker 2: that is sin. It's missing God's perfect mark. And so

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Speaker 2: I think that's a really easy way to open up

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Speaker 2: the conversation and then to help our kids even understand

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Speaker 2: why God's design is good and why you know, sin

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Speaker 2: is sin. You know, we've already explained that it's missing

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Speaker 2: God's markets, not living up to what God has commanded.

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Speaker 2: And then you can give the example of a designer

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Speaker 2: who has designed something. And so I recommend you just

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Speaker 2: take your kids out to the garage or wherever you

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Speaker 2: keep your bikes and take a bike, you know, off

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Speaker 2: the pegs and then say, okay, how did the designer

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Speaker 2: design this bike? You know, and talk about the wheels

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Speaker 2: and the spokes and the frame and the handles and

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Speaker 2: the chain and the pedals, and say what's the purpose

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Speaker 2: of this bike, Like, why did the designer design the

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Speaker 2: bike this way? Well, the designer designed it the bike

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Speaker 2: this way so that a person could get from one

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Speaker 2: place to another so much more quickly. You know, talk

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Speaker 2: about the last time we went on a family bike ride,

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Speaker 2: and you know, normally it takes us fifteen minutes to

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Speaker 2: walk to the park. It only took us four minutes

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Speaker 2: on our bikes. You know, we got from our house

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Speaker 2: to the park so much more quickly. And then say,

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Speaker 2: what if we decided we didn't like the designer's design.

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Speaker 2: We didn't want to pedal with our feet, we wanted

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Speaker 2: to pedal with our hands. Could we try that? Could

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Speaker 2: we try to pedal with our hands? Yeah, it'd be hard,

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Speaker 2: but you know what, it might work. You might be

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Speaker 2: able to pedal with your hands for a little bit.

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Speaker 2: And then ask you know what's going to happen eventually, Well,

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Speaker 2: eventually you're probably going to fall over because it's really

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Speaker 2: really hard to say, study on a bike when your

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Speaker 2: head is at the bottom.

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Speaker 1: And not at the top.

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Speaker 2: And then you talk about how your hands they're going

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Speaker 2: to kind of get a little bit chapped because of

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Speaker 2: the grips on the pedals. They were designed for shoes,

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Speaker 2: not for hands, and so just talk about how you're

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Speaker 2: not going to get to the park in four minutes

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Speaker 2: when you're riding the bike with your hands, and you

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Speaker 2: might fall over and get hurt, and you know what,

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Speaker 2: the bike might get hurt too, and then you and

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Speaker 2: the bike both miss out on this purpose that the

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Speaker 2: bike was designed for. You can say it's similar with us.

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Speaker 2: God is our designer. He's the one who designed his

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Speaker 2: body and soul. He's the one that designed us for

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Speaker 2: his glory, and he knows exactly how things work best

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Speaker 2: because he's our designer. And so this includes sex. God

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Speaker 2: designed sex and he created a specific purpose for it,

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Speaker 2: and we as humans, we can take that good get

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Speaker 2: and use it not according to the designer's design. God

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Speaker 2: allows us to do that. But just like trying to

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Speaker 2: ride the bike with our hands is going to end

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Speaker 2: up getting us hurt and the bike hurt and missing

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Speaker 2: out on the purpose for which God designed the bike.

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Speaker 2: If we take the good gift of sex outside of marriage,

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Speaker 2: we're going to get hurt, the other people who are

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Speaker 2: involved are going to get hurt, and we're going to

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Speaker 2: miss out on the good purpose for which God designed

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Speaker 2: sex within marriage.

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Speaker 1: Ah. Yes, always taking it back to that design component.

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Speaker 1: And I love what you I think we covered this

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Speaker 1: a little bit in the last episode. You talked about

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Speaker 1: this mirror that we have of Christ in the church

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Speaker 1: being the representation of the husband and the wife, and

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Speaker 1: this intimacy, this knowing that God allows us to have

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Speaker 1: with one other individual is mirrors the knowing that we

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Speaker 1: have with Him and the very first commit thou shalt

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Speaker 1: have no other Gods before me. So this relationship that

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Speaker 1: we have with God is with the one True God

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Speaker 1: and no other. And so when we have a spouse,

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Speaker 1: as long as that spouse is alive on this earth,

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Speaker 1: that is the only person that we should have that

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Speaker 1: knowing with. There is such a sacredness to the Christian

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Speaker 1: view of marriage. When we see God's good design as

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Speaker 1: it is intended, it's sacred. And I know that. Obviously,

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Speaker 1: there is a physical experience that you can have with

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Speaker 1: any individual that has the proper anatomy out there, or

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Speaker 1: really well, any anatomy. Right, we can just enjoy our anatomy,

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Speaker 1: or let's face it, we'll get to this a little bit.

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Speaker 1: You can enjoy it by yourself, but it's not what

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Speaker 1: was it created for. It was created for this one purpose,

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Speaker 1: in this relationship with this one other individual, and it

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Speaker 1: mirrors the relationship Christ and the Church. This intimacy between

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Speaker 1: us and our God is mirrored in marriage. And anything

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Speaker 1: other than that cheapened it. Anything other than that misses

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Speaker 1: the mark and comes with consequences, doesn't it. Every other

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Speaker 1: application of sex and a relationship out of God's good

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Speaker 1: design has consequences, and we need to you go over

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Speaker 1: those consequences in the book beautifully. Why don't you share

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Speaker 1: some of that with.

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Speaker 2: A Yeah, So this is for those of you who

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Speaker 2: are listening to part one. You know, I recommended having

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Speaker 2: the first of many sexuality based talks around the age

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Speaker 2: of four. This conversation I don't recommend having at the

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Speaker 2: age of four. This is a conversation more for kids

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Speaker 2: ten and older, but talking about some of the consequences

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Speaker 2: of taking sex outside of marriage. Which that's when you

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Speaker 2: can draw back to that bike analogy, you know, and

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Speaker 2: talk about some of the consequences of using a bike

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Speaker 2: not according to the designers design, and you can say,

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Speaker 2: you know, there are consequences that take place when we

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Speaker 2: choose to use the good gift of sex outside of marriage.

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Speaker 2: And so you can talk about with the way that

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Speaker 2: God designed our bodies that when a couple is having sex,

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Speaker 2: there's different hormones that are released in their brain, and

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Speaker 2: God designed those hormones to actually bond that couple together.

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Speaker 2: And so that's a really good thing. Where when someone

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Speaker 2: is having sex with another person that they're not married

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Speaker 2: to and then they come apart, you know, whether that's

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Speaker 2: they break up or you know, they just don't ever

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Speaker 2: see one another again, that there's a lot more pain

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Speaker 2: involved in that because of the way that those hormones

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Speaker 2: were released in their brain and they've bonded with that

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Speaker 2: other person. Then eventually you can talk about sexually transmitted

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Speaker 2: infections or diseases and talk about how if one man

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Speaker 2: and one woman only have sex with one another, there's

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Speaker 2: no diseases that they're going to share back and forth. However,

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Speaker 2: when people have sex with multiple people, they can get

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Speaker 2: different diseases that will never leave them. And you know,

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Speaker 2: some of these diseases they're not life threatening. Some of

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Speaker 2: them just make it painful, you know, for you to

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Speaker 2: have sex in the future, or they just you know,

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Speaker 2: make it so they have to take certain medications or

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Speaker 2: other diseases they can be life threatening and they can

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Speaker 2: make you very, very sick and say, you know, when

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Speaker 2: you stay within the goodness of God's design, there's not

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Speaker 2: going to be that emotional pain of breaking up from

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Speaker 2: that person. There's also not the chance of getting those

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Speaker 2: sexually transmitted diseases. Then you can even talk about how

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Speaker 2: these consequences don't just affect the two people that are

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Speaker 2: having sex, but they affect those around them, and you

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Speaker 2: can talk about how you know, you've talked already about

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Speaker 2: how sex can lead to children, and all children are

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Speaker 2: a good gift from God, they were knit together in

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Speaker 2: their mother's womb. But how much harder it is for

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Speaker 2: a child who is born to a mother who's not

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Speaker 2: married to that child's father. That it's really sad if

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Speaker 2: their parents are not together and they only get to

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Speaker 2: grow up with one parent. Now, those of you who

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Speaker 2: may be widowed or divorced, you know, you can talk

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Speaker 2: with your kids about how, you know, sometimes we have

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Speaker 2: zero control over the situation in which we're in, you know,

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Speaker 2: So sometimes we have zero control and we can trust

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Speaker 2: that God will be faithful. But when we're living according

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Speaker 2: to God's good design, there's much less of chance of

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Speaker 2: this kind of thing happening. So I just recommend having

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Speaker 2: those conversations when kids are ten or over. Now the

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Speaker 2: goal should not be to scare them. We don't want

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Speaker 2: to scare them. I know that when I was in

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Speaker 2: my high school health class. I don't know why the

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Speaker 2: health teacher liked to do this, but he would show

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Speaker 2: us pictures of genitalia that had different sexually transmitted diseases. Now,

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Speaker 2: I think it was just because he knew that there

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Speaker 2: were people in the class that were sexually active and

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Speaker 2: he wanted to let them know what they were getting into.

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Speaker 2: But he would just like leave it up on the

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Speaker 2: screen for like five minutes and be like, look at this,

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Speaker 2: you know, And it was just kind of like, Okay,

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Speaker 2: I don't really need to see another picture of what gonorrhea,

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Speaker 2: you know, or like other other things like that.

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Speaker 1: Look like, thank you very much.

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Speaker 2: So we don't want to scare our kids, because that's

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Speaker 2: that's not the purpose. We don't want to do that.

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Speaker 2: But we do want to give them a healthy understanding

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Speaker 2: of the consequences of having sex outside of marriage, so

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Speaker 2: that again, like we're wanting to point them towards the

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Speaker 2: goodness of God. Now, will we hope and pray that

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Speaker 2: these kind of conversations will make it less likely that

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Speaker 2: they will engage in sex outside of marriage. Yeah, that's

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Speaker 2: a good goal. But the ultimate goal again is to

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Speaker 2: point to the goodness of God. That God is our

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Speaker 2: good designer. These are the kind of things that God

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Speaker 2: longs to protect us from, and so when we follow

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Speaker 2: his good design, we're not putting ourselves in the risk

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Speaker 2: of these kind of really hard things.

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Speaker 1: True. True, And I think scaring scaring your kids a

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Speaker 1: scare tactic. It only works so long, I mean, and

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Speaker 1: it's really not the even even when it comes to salvation,

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Speaker 1: it's not the best motivator. Well only you know. Fire

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Speaker 1: insurance isn't the best motivator, and it doesn't get you.

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Speaker 1: Here's the thing. It might get you through the pearly gates,

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Speaker 1: but it doesn't get you to your purpose. And the

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Speaker 1: same way with sexuality or the things that you could

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Speaker 1: try to help them prevent, you know, in terms of

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Speaker 1: disease or whatever. That's not getting you to the purpose.

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Speaker 1: And that is who God is and his good design

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Speaker 1: that he has a good plan the problem. And I

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Speaker 1: think we talked about this a little bit in the

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Speaker 1: last episode. It's just the culture is relentless. It's the

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Speaker 1: snake that's constantly did God really say, and why is he?

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Speaker 1: The whole question surrounding that first question of the snake

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Speaker 1: in the garden was that God was holding something withholding

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Speaker 1: something good from us instead of understanding that no, his

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Speaker 1: way is good, it's the best for us and trusting

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Speaker 1: in that. And that's the whole issue of our faith

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Speaker 1: that we have to come to that place and to

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Speaker 1: a lot of people will test it out there, you know,

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Speaker 1: and they have the wreckage in their own life and

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Speaker 1: the heartache. You know, you were talking a little bit

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Speaker 1: about the chemicals that bond people together. If you break

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Speaker 1: that so often, you just kind of become numb to it,

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Speaker 1: and then you really cannot experience what God intended it

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Speaker 1: to be without healing. You can with healing. One of

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Speaker 1: my best friends, I've had her on the show before,

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Speaker 1: doctor Aaron Barry. You know, we've had a lot of conversations.

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Speaker 1: She'll she shares names, but just kind of generally the

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Speaker 1: kind of conversation she has to have in her counseling

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Speaker 1: practice with people who are just so broken. Just everybody's

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Speaker 1: just coming in broken because of treating sex as our

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Speaker 1: culture says that we should treat it. They say, this

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Speaker 1: is the good way we should engage in sex. And

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Speaker 1: there's so much brokenness, there's so much damage as a

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Speaker 1: result in our culture, and people get saved and come

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Speaker 1: into the body of Christ and then there's just a

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Speaker 1: lot of healing that needs to take place. How much

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Speaker 1: better if we could present a taste in our kid's

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Speaker 1: minds and heart that this is God's good design. We

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Speaker 1: can't force them to choose it, but if they do that,

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Speaker 1: they could potentially experience all that God created are intended

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Speaker 1: for it to be. Possibly, you know, if that's God's yea.

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Speaker 2: Even the blessing of following God's design, Yes, even if

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Speaker 2: God's designed for us or his plan for us does

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Speaker 2: not involve your age or family, you know, because I

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Speaker 2: think I think of myself and you know, so someone

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Speaker 2: might look at me and be like, well, Elizabeth, you know,

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Speaker 2: like a lot of good waiting did for you? Or

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Speaker 2: I'm like no, do you know, like all the blessings

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Speaker 2: that have come and again, following God's design has not

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Speaker 2: been on my own strength or great you know, It's

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Speaker 2: been by God's grace. But the facts that I haven't

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Speaker 2: experienced that kind of bonding and break, you know the

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Speaker 2: fact that I have not been exposed to those diseases

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Speaker 2: or even just primary reward that we get in seeking

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Speaker 2: Christ and following him is Christ himself. And so just

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Speaker 2: that that is the blessing as well, you know, because

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Speaker 2: somebody might be listening and think, well, you know what,

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Speaker 2: I did follow God's design, but I was sexually abused

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Speaker 2: as a child, you know, or you know, there was

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Speaker 2: there was these things that happened to me that I

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Speaker 2: had no control over. And so that's a heartbreaking situation

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Speaker 2: where we are bearing the consequences of someone else's sin.

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Speaker 2: But again, in seeking Christ, in that I'm not saying

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Speaker 2: that that you know, that makes that makes all of

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Speaker 2: the pain go away. But Christ is the ultimate treasure,

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Speaker 2: and He is available as that treasure for all who

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Speaker 2: will seek them, no matter their situation, no matter their background,

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Speaker 2: no matter what has been done to them with or

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Speaker 2: without their consent. That Christ is that treasure who's available.

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Speaker 1: Tall. Yes, he is the goal, he is the purpose.

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Speaker 1: He is what we're hoping to put a taste in

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Speaker 1: our children's spirit, in their heart to taste and see

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Speaker 1: that the Lord is good. And as they pursue him,

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Speaker 1: they will discover their purpose, whether that is singleness, Paul

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Speaker 1: thought very highly of that. By the way, I think

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Speaker 1: that's first Corinthian seven. He was a big fan of

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Speaker 1: being able to really pursue the Lord without just as

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Speaker 1: his sole purpose in life and didn't have a lot

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Speaker 1: of the other responsibilities that parents have. Those are wonderful things,

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Speaker 1: but there's more than one wonderful way to live a life.

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Speaker 1: And God has his purpose and his plan for each

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Speaker 1: of us, and they all, when we are walking in

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Speaker 1: God's good design, have their rewards, have their rewards, and

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Speaker 1: they also have their heart aches and pains shared a

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Speaker 1: few of those. You know, there's a lot of heartaches

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Speaker 1: and pains that we have as parents that you, as

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Speaker 1: a single person, wouldn't experience. But God has his plan

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Speaker 1: for each of us, and who knows? Who knows? Elizabeth,

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Speaker 1: you're still young yet you look very young. Get yeah,

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Speaker 1: aren't we all? Let's get into some of these really

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Speaker 1: tough topics. Now, let's talk about Let's start with same

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Speaker 1: sex attraction. That's such a big thing in our culture,

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Speaker 1: and so many kids are really identifying their whole identity

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Speaker 1: is based on who they're attracted to, their feelings about

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Speaker 1: the opposite sex, and they will kind of identify themselves

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Speaker 1: as lesbian, are gay, and of course those are two

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Speaker 1: of the part of the LGBTQ acronyms. So how do

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Speaker 1: we talk to our kids about this? Because why not?

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Speaker 1: I mean, what does it matter? Love is love, right, Elizabeth?

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Speaker 1: Love is love? Why can't I love whoever I want to,

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Speaker 1: whenever I want to? And so what if it's the

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Speaker 1: same person, a person of the same sex, why how

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Speaker 1: do we Obviously it's not God's good design, but this

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Speaker 1: is what my culture is saying. Why why would I

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Speaker 1: not embark on that kind of journey? Hey, friends, it's

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Speaker 1: Katherine here. If you're trying to be a godly parent

419
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Speaker 1: in this wild and wacky world, you need all the

420
00:23:10,920 --> 00:23:14,080
Speaker 1: help you can get, and I've got you covered. When

421
00:23:14,080 --> 00:23:17,520
Speaker 1: you subscribe to my website, you'll get instant access to

422
00:23:17,520 --> 00:23:21,520
Speaker 1: tons of free resources made just for Christian parents. You'll

423
00:23:21,560 --> 00:23:24,879
Speaker 1: get my Prodigal Bundle, which is packed with every podcast,

424
00:23:24,960 --> 00:23:28,639
Speaker 1: article and scripture list I've created for parents walking that

425
00:23:28,800 --> 00:23:32,040
Speaker 1: tough prodigal road. You'll also get my free eat book

426
00:23:32,359 --> 00:23:36,000
Speaker 1: Beyond the Lies and covering five myths the culture spreads

427
00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:39,520
Speaker 1: to mothers, plus powerful scripture list Pray over your kids

428
00:23:39,520 --> 00:23:42,439
Speaker 1: and even scripture songs to help your family hide God's

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00:23:42,480 --> 00:23:45,920
Speaker 1: word in your hearts without even trying. And of course

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00:23:45,920 --> 00:23:49,560
Speaker 1: I'll keep you encouraged with my weekly newsletter full of

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00:23:49,680 --> 00:23:52,760
Speaker 1: faith filled PEP talks and outlines of what we're tackling

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Speaker 1: each week on the show. So don't miss out. Head

433
00:23:55,440 --> 00:23:58,680
Speaker 1: over to Katherine Scars dot com. That's Katherine Scers dot

434
00:23:58,680 --> 00:24:02,640
Speaker 1: com and subscribe today. Because Christian parenting may be crazy,

435
00:24:03,080 --> 00:24:07,240
Speaker 1: but you don't have to do it alone.

436
00:24:08,040 --> 00:24:10,000
Speaker 2: Yeah. Well, I'm going to answer this for two different

437
00:24:10,080 --> 00:24:12,639
Speaker 2: age groups for you know, those who have kids between

438
00:24:12,640 --> 00:24:15,280
Speaker 2: the ages of like four and seven and those who

439
00:24:15,280 --> 00:24:18,080
Speaker 2: have kids who are eight on up. So when our

440
00:24:18,160 --> 00:24:21,520
Speaker 2: kids are young and we are just establishing the biblical foundation,

441
00:24:22,080 --> 00:24:25,199
Speaker 2: I always recommend a three step approach no matter what

442
00:24:25,400 --> 00:24:28,920
Speaker 2: topic you're talking about. First, start off with the foundation,

443
00:24:29,080 --> 00:24:32,879
Speaker 2: which is the goodness of God's design. Then talk about

444
00:24:32,880 --> 00:24:37,200
Speaker 2: how sin has corrupted that design, and then talk about

445
00:24:37,280 --> 00:24:40,919
Speaker 2: redemption in Jesus and our responsibility. And so when we

446
00:24:40,960 --> 00:24:43,720
Speaker 2: think about same sex attraction, it's like, well, what is

447
00:24:44,840 --> 00:24:48,160
Speaker 2: the biblical goodness? Not that there's goodness and same sex attraction,

448
00:24:48,240 --> 00:24:51,240
Speaker 2: because that's a sinful desire, but the goodness that God

449
00:24:51,359 --> 00:24:54,520
Speaker 2: is designed is marriage, and so we want to make

450
00:24:54,560 --> 00:24:57,320
Speaker 2: sure that they have that biblical foundation. So recommend taking

451
00:24:57,359 --> 00:25:00,200
Speaker 2: them right to Genesis chapter two, which talks about out

452
00:25:00,200 --> 00:25:01,760
Speaker 2: there for a man shall leave his father and mother

453
00:25:01,800 --> 00:25:03,360
Speaker 2: and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall

454
00:25:03,400 --> 00:25:06,240
Speaker 2: become one flesh, and just talk about how marriage is

455
00:25:06,240 --> 00:25:08,760
Speaker 2: one man and one woman becoming one flesh for life.

456
00:25:08,960 --> 00:25:13,040
Speaker 2: Hop over to Ephesians five, where Paul expounds upon what

457
00:25:13,080 --> 00:25:15,480
Speaker 2: Moses has written. He says that quote again and he says,

458
00:25:15,520 --> 00:25:17,480
Speaker 2: this mystery is profound, but I'm saying it refers to

459
00:25:17,560 --> 00:25:19,520
Speaker 2: Christ in the church and say, okay, marriage is a

460
00:25:19,560 --> 00:25:22,359
Speaker 2: picture of Jesus and the Church. So that's the base.

461
00:25:22,480 --> 00:25:25,479
Speaker 2: That's what God has designed is so good. And then

462
00:25:25,520 --> 00:25:27,360
Speaker 2: you can't explain to your kids, you know, you can say,

463
00:25:27,880 --> 00:25:32,879
Speaker 2: because of sin, sometimes we desire the wrong kind of

464
00:25:32,920 --> 00:25:36,760
Speaker 2: love in a relationship. So sometimes someone might take what

465
00:25:36,840 --> 00:25:40,040
Speaker 2: God designed to be friendship love between two men or

466
00:25:40,040 --> 00:25:43,560
Speaker 2: two women, and they desire instead to turn that friendship

467
00:25:43,600 --> 00:25:46,840
Speaker 2: love into marriage kind of love. And if we have

468
00:25:46,920 --> 00:25:49,399
Speaker 2: two men who are wanting to be in a marriage

469
00:25:49,480 --> 00:25:52,960
Speaker 2: kind of relationship, is that what God designed? No, that's

470
00:25:52,960 --> 00:25:55,560
Speaker 2: not one man and one woman becoming one flesh for life.

471
00:25:55,640 --> 00:25:57,440
Speaker 2: And it's not a picture of Jesus in the church.

472
00:25:57,720 --> 00:26:00,919
Speaker 2: We say similarly, sometimes two women want to take what

473
00:26:00,960 --> 00:26:04,280
Speaker 2: God designed to be friendship love and turn it into

474
00:26:04,320 --> 00:26:07,399
Speaker 2: marriage type of love. Is that what God designed? No,

475
00:26:08,160 --> 00:26:10,600
Speaker 2: it's not one man and one woman becoming one flesh

476
00:26:10,600 --> 00:26:12,520
Speaker 2: for life. It's not a picture of Jesus in the church.

477
00:26:12,640 --> 00:26:15,840
Speaker 2: So we can say, so this is actually sin against God.

478
00:26:16,160 --> 00:26:19,120
Speaker 2: It misses the mark, and then we can talk about

479
00:26:19,119 --> 00:26:22,080
Speaker 2: you know what, but Jesus he hit the mark for us,

480
00:26:22,240 --> 00:26:24,440
Speaker 2: and he defeated the power and the punishment of sin.

481
00:26:24,480 --> 00:26:26,800
Speaker 2: And one day when Jesus returns, he's going to make

482
00:26:26,840 --> 00:26:29,560
Speaker 2: heaven and earth new, and no one is going to

483
00:26:29,680 --> 00:26:32,040
Speaker 2: desire to have the wrong kind of love in a

484
00:26:32,119 --> 00:26:34,359
Speaker 2: relationship because when He makes heaven and earth new, all

485
00:26:34,400 --> 00:26:36,880
Speaker 2: those who have trusted him and turned from their sin

486
00:26:36,960 --> 00:26:38,879
Speaker 2: are going to be made new in him. And then

487
00:26:38,920 --> 00:26:40,719
Speaker 2: talk with your kids about what to do if you

488
00:26:40,840 --> 00:26:43,720
Speaker 2: encounter two men who have entered into a marriage type

489
00:26:43,720 --> 00:26:46,720
Speaker 2: of relationship or two women, And I recommend just a

490
00:26:46,720 --> 00:26:50,800
Speaker 2: simple three step formula. Step one, recognize this isn't God's

491
00:26:50,840 --> 00:26:52,920
Speaker 2: good design, So you want your child to recognize, oh

492
00:26:53,040 --> 00:26:55,439
Speaker 2: what I just saw, that's not God's good design. Then

493
00:26:55,480 --> 00:26:58,000
Speaker 2: the second thing is to remind remind yourself of what

494
00:26:58,080 --> 00:26:59,520
Speaker 2: is true, so you can just teach him a simple

495
00:26:59,560 --> 00:27:02,879
Speaker 2: Catechi phrase like marriage is one man and one woman

496
00:27:02,920 --> 00:27:06,400
Speaker 2: becoming one flesh for life. God's design for marriage is good.

497
00:27:06,800 --> 00:27:10,240
Speaker 2: And then three, be kind. You treat that person as

498
00:27:10,280 --> 00:27:13,400
Speaker 2: you would any other person with kindness. And so that's

499
00:27:13,400 --> 00:27:15,639
Speaker 2: for young kids. You wanted to have that sandwich, the

500
00:27:15,680 --> 00:27:18,800
Speaker 2: goodness of God's design, the corruption of sin, the redemption

501
00:27:18,920 --> 00:27:20,960
Speaker 2: in Jesus, and how you move forward with that. So

502
00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:23,720
Speaker 2: you just want to set that base for younger kids,

503
00:27:23,840 --> 00:27:27,119
Speaker 2: for older kids when they're starting to wonder. Okay, so

504
00:27:27,160 --> 00:27:29,119
Speaker 2: I know that, like you said, this isn't God's good design.

505
00:27:29,160 --> 00:27:31,600
Speaker 2: But I mean, like, is it really hurting anybody? Like

506
00:27:32,280 --> 00:27:35,320
Speaker 2: love is love? Like why can't I love whoever I

507
00:27:35,320 --> 00:27:38,160
Speaker 2: want to? Or why can't somebody else love whoever they

508
00:27:38,200 --> 00:27:42,040
Speaker 2: want to? And I recommend a few different things. First,

509
00:27:42,040 --> 00:27:44,159
Speaker 2: this is where you're gonna want to go back to

510
00:27:44,240 --> 00:27:47,480
Speaker 2: that bicycle design and talk about a designer and their

511
00:27:47,520 --> 00:27:51,600
Speaker 2: design and how the designer always knows what is best.

512
00:27:51,760 --> 00:27:53,920
Speaker 2: And so God is our designer, and so he knows

513
00:27:53,920 --> 00:27:57,080
Speaker 2: what is best. And then you can dive into that claim.

514
00:27:57,200 --> 00:27:59,600
Speaker 2: You know, why can't somebody love whoever they want to?

515
00:27:59,800 --> 00:28:02,600
Speaker 2: And ask your child what does it mean to love someone?

516
00:28:04,160 --> 00:28:07,000
Speaker 2: Interesting question? And then take them right to scripture. You know,

517
00:28:07,000 --> 00:28:09,359
Speaker 2: you can take them right to First Corinthians thirteen, which

518
00:28:09,400 --> 00:28:12,080
Speaker 2: describes and defines what love is. And you can say,

519
00:28:12,240 --> 00:28:14,919
Speaker 2: from this passage we see that love is giving of

520
00:28:14,960 --> 00:28:19,040
Speaker 2: ourselves to meet others' needs, to do what is ultimately

521
00:28:19,080 --> 00:28:21,720
Speaker 2: best for them. Does the Bible tell us that there's

522
00:28:21,840 --> 00:28:26,280
Speaker 2: anyone alive right now that we shouldn't love. No, the

523
00:28:26,280 --> 00:28:29,440
Speaker 2: Bible actually commands us to love others as we love ourselves,

524
00:28:30,040 --> 00:28:33,600
Speaker 2: and so God hasn't limited who we can love. We

525
00:28:33,680 --> 00:28:36,479
Speaker 2: can love everybody, and not only can we we should

526
00:28:36,680 --> 00:28:40,160
Speaker 2: love everybody. Then say so, when you just said why

527
00:28:40,200 --> 00:28:42,360
Speaker 2: can't people love whoever they want to love? You weren't

528
00:28:42,360 --> 00:28:45,680
Speaker 2: actually talking about love. What were you talking about? You

529
00:28:45,720 --> 00:28:50,760
Speaker 2: were talking about sexual desire and sexual expression. So when

530
00:28:50,800 --> 00:28:54,960
Speaker 2: people say love is love, they're not saying to love

531
00:28:55,000 --> 00:28:58,040
Speaker 2: someone is to sacrifice for their ultimate good. They're saying

532
00:28:58,080 --> 00:29:01,920
Speaker 2: to love someone is to press yourself sexually with whoever

533
00:29:01,960 --> 00:29:05,600
Speaker 2: you want whenever you want, however you want, so long

534
00:29:05,640 --> 00:29:07,880
Speaker 2: as the other person can sense to that and say

535
00:29:08,040 --> 00:29:11,520
Speaker 2: that's something completely different, that is something completely different, And

536
00:29:11,560 --> 00:29:12,840
Speaker 2: then I think you can You can even give an

537
00:29:12,880 --> 00:29:15,880
Speaker 2: example that's given in the Mama Bear Apologetics book that

538
00:29:15,920 --> 00:29:18,880
Speaker 2: I think is such a good example talking about things

539
00:29:18,920 --> 00:29:22,560
Speaker 2: that are powerful needing boundaries. So you can take your kids,

540
00:29:22,600 --> 00:29:26,160
Speaker 2: you know, out to the backyard, build a bonfire out there,

541
00:29:26,160 --> 00:29:27,880
Speaker 2: you know, in a fire pit, or you're a safe area,

542
00:29:27,920 --> 00:29:29,160
Speaker 2: or you can do the same thing in your house,

543
00:29:30,200 --> 00:29:31,880
Speaker 2: have a fire in the fireplace, and then talk about,

544
00:29:31,920 --> 00:29:33,560
Speaker 2: you know, what are all the benefits of this fire?

545
00:29:33,960 --> 00:29:37,080
Speaker 2: This fire? It gives us light, and it gives us warmth.

546
00:29:37,160 --> 00:29:39,560
Speaker 2: You know, we can cook food over it. We can

547
00:29:39,640 --> 00:29:42,400
Speaker 2: see you know, across our yard when it's dark out

548
00:29:42,480 --> 00:29:45,400
Speaker 2: because of this fire. Then say, what if we decided

549
00:29:45,560 --> 00:29:47,240
Speaker 2: we didn't want to keep this fire in the fire pit,

550
00:29:47,320 --> 00:29:48,800
Speaker 2: We're going to go put it in the woods over there.

551
00:29:48,840 --> 00:29:51,320
Speaker 2: Or what if we decided to heck with this fireplace.

552
00:29:51,320 --> 00:29:52,560
Speaker 2: I don't want to keep the fire in there, I'm

553
00:29:52,560 --> 00:29:54,320
Speaker 2: going to put it right on the carpet. What's going

554
00:29:54,400 --> 00:29:58,360
Speaker 2: to happen? Well, either our neighborhood is going to burn down.

555
00:29:58,560 --> 00:30:00,400
Speaker 2: You know, if the fire goes in the wood, so

556
00:30:00,600 --> 00:30:03,239
Speaker 2: or our house and potentially again our whole neighborhood is

557
00:30:03,280 --> 00:30:06,320
Speaker 2: going to burn down. And say, it's similar like that

558
00:30:06,920 --> 00:30:11,160
Speaker 2: with sex that God designed sex. Sex is very powerful.

559
00:30:11,280 --> 00:30:15,520
Speaker 2: Sex creates life, It brings life into this world. Sex

560
00:30:15,600 --> 00:30:21,240
Speaker 2: is very powerful. It bonds people chemically together. It's very powerful.

561
00:30:21,240 --> 00:30:25,200
Speaker 2: And because of that, sex needs boundaries around it. It

562
00:30:25,280 --> 00:30:27,720
Speaker 2: might feel like freedom when you take that fire out

563
00:30:27,720 --> 00:30:30,320
Speaker 2: of the fireplace or out of the fire pit, but ultimately,

564
00:30:30,360 --> 00:30:33,160
Speaker 2: what's going to happen with that very powerful thing, that

565
00:30:33,280 --> 00:30:37,360
Speaker 2: very powerful fire is going to cause destruction. And when

566
00:30:37,480 --> 00:30:40,560
Speaker 2: we take sex outside of marriage, whether it's in a

567
00:30:40,600 --> 00:30:43,240
Speaker 2: relationship with one man and one woman, or it's a

568
00:30:43,240 --> 00:30:45,720
Speaker 2: relationship with two men or two women, or it's a

569
00:30:45,760 --> 00:30:50,000
Speaker 2: relationship with multiple people, it's like taking that fire outside

570
00:30:50,040 --> 00:30:52,840
Speaker 2: of its boundaries, and it leads to destruction. So I

571
00:30:52,840 --> 00:30:55,080
Speaker 2: think if we can help our kids as they age

572
00:30:55,640 --> 00:30:58,719
Speaker 2: break down some of these cultural mantras and sayings and

573
00:30:58,760 --> 00:31:03,280
Speaker 2: help them see the truth behind them, we can get

574
00:31:03,280 --> 00:31:07,840
Speaker 2: them to see, oh, God's ways aren't repressive or oppressive,

575
00:31:08,200 --> 00:31:11,800
Speaker 2: They're actually designed to lead to our flourishing.

576
00:31:13,480 --> 00:31:16,440
Speaker 1: Oh yes, I think maybe we could just play all

577
00:31:16,520 --> 00:31:21,120
Speaker 1: of that that you Okay, come over your kids, you're

578
00:31:21,120 --> 00:31:23,760
Speaker 1: gonna listen to Elizabeth. I know we talked about a

579
00:31:23,800 --> 00:31:26,320
Speaker 1: lot in the last episode wanting to establish ourself as

580
00:31:26,360 --> 00:31:29,440
Speaker 1: the experts. But I love all of the thinking that

581
00:31:29,480 --> 00:31:32,040
Speaker 1: you go through, all of the foundation that you said

582
00:31:32,440 --> 00:31:36,800
Speaker 1: to help people, to help our young children realize God's

583
00:31:37,240 --> 00:31:40,160
Speaker 1: God's design is good and when we there are consequences.

584
00:31:40,160 --> 00:31:42,400
Speaker 1: You went into the consequences there what happens when we

585
00:31:42,440 --> 00:31:45,400
Speaker 1: take that out of that context? And you said something

586
00:31:45,440 --> 00:31:47,800
Speaker 1: earlier that really stuck with me, because you know, I

587
00:31:47,880 --> 00:31:50,800
Speaker 1: used to I used to say this differently. You called

588
00:31:50,840 --> 00:31:53,920
Speaker 1: it a sinful desire, and I used to say, well,

589
00:31:54,000 --> 00:31:57,520
Speaker 1: the desire, it's acting on the desire, that's sinful, because

590
00:31:57,520 --> 00:32:00,000
Speaker 1: we always, you know, we may have many desires that aren't.

591
00:32:00,360 --> 00:32:03,480
Speaker 1: But then I think Christopher Ywan really changed my thinking

592
00:32:03,520 --> 00:32:07,160
Speaker 1: on that. He wrote, of course, Holy Sexuality talks about

593
00:32:07,240 --> 00:32:11,920
Speaker 1: how all sin starts as a desire, So a sinful

594
00:32:12,200 --> 00:32:14,760
Speaker 1: desire is what leads to the action. Not only that,

595
00:32:15,800 --> 00:32:20,120
Speaker 1: if I wanted to kill someone, that's a sinful desire.

596
00:32:20,560 --> 00:32:24,560
Speaker 1: I think most people would recognize that there's a problem

597
00:32:24,640 --> 00:32:26,840
Speaker 1: in that desire, even if I don't act on it,

598
00:32:27,040 --> 00:32:29,880
Speaker 1: the fact that that kind of anger and hatred is

599
00:32:29,960 --> 00:32:32,600
Speaker 1: festering inside of me, that's not the fruit of the spirit.

600
00:32:32,680 --> 00:32:35,760
Speaker 1: That's not love, joy, peace, patient's kindness, faithful inness, gentleness, goodness,

601
00:32:35,760 --> 00:32:38,160
Speaker 1: and self control. That is the opposite of that. So

602
00:32:38,240 --> 00:32:43,240
Speaker 1: that desire actually is sinful. If I wanted to force

603
00:32:43,320 --> 00:32:48,000
Speaker 1: myself on someone else sexually, who couldn't refuse me?

604
00:32:48,240 --> 00:32:48,400
Speaker 2: Right?

605
00:32:48,440 --> 00:32:51,560
Speaker 1: I think even in our culture we recognize that non

606
00:32:51,600 --> 00:32:55,840
Speaker 1: consensual sex is wrong, to force yourself on someone is wrong.

607
00:32:55,840 --> 00:32:58,880
Speaker 1: But he then even wanting to do that, And that's

608
00:32:58,920 --> 00:33:01,680
Speaker 1: what Jesus said in the Gospels. You have heard it

609
00:33:01,680 --> 00:33:05,720
Speaker 1: said that it's wrong to commit adultery, But I say

610
00:33:05,720 --> 00:33:08,280
Speaker 1: that even if you think about a woman lustfully, that

611
00:33:08,400 --> 00:33:10,520
Speaker 1: you have committed sin in your heart. You've heard it

612
00:33:10,600 --> 00:33:13,120
Speaker 1: said that it's wrong to murder, But I say that,

613
00:33:13,160 --> 00:33:16,040
Speaker 1: even if you hate your brother or your sister in

614
00:33:16,080 --> 00:33:18,920
Speaker 1: your heart, you've committed murder. So I think we do

615
00:33:19,120 --> 00:33:23,520
Speaker 1: need to have that understanding that the desire can be sinful,

616
00:33:23,920 --> 00:33:26,520
Speaker 1: and that's where we need to start with confession. No

617
00:33:26,600 --> 00:33:29,400
Speaker 1: matter what you're struggling with start with the confession, whether

618
00:33:29,440 --> 00:33:34,880
Speaker 1: that's alcohol, drugs, attraction to anyone that is not your spouse,

619
00:33:35,640 --> 00:33:39,680
Speaker 1: same sex attraction. Wherever it is that that sinful desire

620
00:33:39,800 --> 00:33:43,320
Speaker 1: comes in, that's where we need to uproot it, confess it,

621
00:33:43,760 --> 00:33:49,200
Speaker 1: and allow God's light and grace to transform that desire.

622
00:33:49,760 --> 00:33:52,760
Speaker 1: I know some people who struggle in this area, and

623
00:33:52,840 --> 00:33:56,360
Speaker 1: I pray for them that God would help to transform

624
00:33:56,600 --> 00:34:01,840
Speaker 1: their desire into what is according to His good design.

625
00:34:01,920 --> 00:34:04,360
Speaker 1: So we've got we got so many other topics we

626
00:34:04,400 --> 00:34:07,280
Speaker 1: need to discuss here. With a few minutes we have left.

627
00:34:07,400 --> 00:34:11,040
Speaker 1: Let's talk about transgenderism for a few minutes, because that's

628
00:34:11,200 --> 00:34:16,080
Speaker 1: the the part of the LGBT acronym that has kind

629
00:34:16,120 --> 00:34:18,960
Speaker 1: of ascended to the top of late. I think I

630
00:34:19,080 --> 00:34:21,440
Speaker 1: just saw, though, I think I just saw yesterday that

631
00:34:21,480 --> 00:34:26,719
Speaker 1: the Olympic Committee was banning transgender athletes. Of course, this

632
00:34:26,880 --> 00:34:30,440
Speaker 1: is a huge issue right now. Of course, we always

633
00:34:30,520 --> 00:34:35,040
Speaker 1: begin any conversation with our kids talking about how compassionate

634
00:34:35,280 --> 00:34:38,160
Speaker 1: we need to be towards people who struggle in this area,

635
00:34:38,560 --> 00:34:41,279
Speaker 1: who would struggle with their sexuality. There may be good

636
00:34:41,360 --> 00:34:46,319
Speaker 1: reasons why they do. I've heard that, I've heard testimonies,

637
00:34:46,360 --> 00:34:49,759
Speaker 1: I think it was Laura Perry Smally for do you

638
00:34:49,840 --> 00:34:50,720
Speaker 1: know who I'm talking about?

639
00:34:50,880 --> 00:34:50,960
Speaker 2: She?

640
00:34:51,600 --> 00:34:53,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't think I said her name right, but her.

641
00:34:53,800 --> 00:34:55,520
Speaker 2: Testament, I think you did it? Is it just small?

642
00:34:55,640 --> 00:34:59,960
Speaker 1: I think that's yeah, Laura Perry Smalls. She her testimony

643
00:35:00,120 --> 00:35:02,839
Speaker 1: is powerful in this. So we always approach this with compassion.

644
00:35:02,880 --> 00:35:05,440
Speaker 1: But how do we have this conversation with our kids

645
00:35:06,120 --> 00:35:17,560
Speaker 1: about people who may be struggling in their sexuality.

646
00:35:17,640 --> 00:35:19,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, so again we're going to recommend that sandwich approach

647
00:35:20,000 --> 00:35:22,080
Speaker 2: and starting off with the foundation. So what is the

648
00:35:22,120 --> 00:35:25,080
Speaker 2: goodness of God's design? Well, the goodness of God's design

649
00:35:25,160 --> 00:35:27,640
Speaker 2: is that God designed us as male or female in

650
00:35:27,680 --> 00:35:29,799
Speaker 2: his image. So we want to anchor that Genesis one

651
00:35:29,840 --> 00:35:32,720
Speaker 2: twenty seven so that our kids understand that as the foundation.

652
00:35:33,320 --> 00:35:37,840
Speaker 2: Then I think anytime we're talking about these types of

653
00:35:37,840 --> 00:35:40,640
Speaker 2: sin with our kids, we want to help broaden it

654
00:35:40,680 --> 00:35:43,359
Speaker 2: so that they understand that this is While we might

655
00:35:43,400 --> 00:35:48,120
Speaker 2: not all struggle with same sex attraction or gender dysphoria,

656
00:35:48,239 --> 00:35:52,120
Speaker 2: we all have desires that are not right that we

657
00:35:52,160 --> 00:35:56,279
Speaker 2: are all that we all wrestle with the flesh. And

658
00:35:56,320 --> 00:35:59,000
Speaker 2: so I think a way that we can say it

659
00:35:59,040 --> 00:36:03,600
Speaker 2: is because of sometimes our feelings trick us. And so

660
00:36:03,680 --> 00:36:05,359
Speaker 2: you can ask your child, you know, can you think

661
00:36:05,400 --> 00:36:07,839
Speaker 2: of a time when you had a feeling that tricked you.

662
00:36:07,840 --> 00:36:09,759
Speaker 2: You can then be very vulnerable with them and say,

663
00:36:09,840 --> 00:36:11,680
Speaker 2: you know, sometimes my feelings tricked me too. Do you

664
00:36:11,719 --> 00:36:13,560
Speaker 2: remember last week when I told you that you needed

665
00:36:13,560 --> 00:36:15,000
Speaker 2: to clean up your room. By the time I got

666
00:36:15,040 --> 00:36:17,160
Speaker 2: back from the grocery store and I got back in,

667
00:36:17,239 --> 00:36:19,280
Speaker 2: your room wasn't cleaned, and I yelled and I screamed

668
00:36:19,280 --> 00:36:21,279
Speaker 2: and I slammed the door. Well, I did need to

669
00:36:21,280 --> 00:36:24,080
Speaker 2: discipline you for not obeying, but I let my feelings

670
00:36:24,160 --> 00:36:27,319
Speaker 2: of frustration trick me into believing that the best thing

671
00:36:27,360 --> 00:36:29,040
Speaker 2: for me to do was to yell into scream, And

672
00:36:29,080 --> 00:36:31,600
Speaker 2: I didn't treat you like you for God's image, and

673
00:36:31,640 --> 00:36:34,319
Speaker 2: so that was sin. And so talk about how our

674
00:36:34,320 --> 00:36:36,840
Speaker 2: feelings can trick us, and say, sometimes the way people's

675
00:36:36,840 --> 00:36:40,279
Speaker 2: feelings trick them is their body reveals that God has

676
00:36:40,320 --> 00:36:42,680
Speaker 2: designed them as a boy. But on the inside, they

677
00:36:42,760 --> 00:36:46,759
Speaker 2: might like things that more girls like, or they might

678
00:36:47,080 --> 00:36:49,799
Speaker 2: enjoy spending time with girls more, and then they let

679
00:36:49,840 --> 00:36:53,719
Speaker 2: those feelings trick them into believing that they actually are

680
00:36:53,760 --> 00:36:55,879
Speaker 2: a girl. Or sometimes that might happen to a girl.

681
00:36:55,920 --> 00:36:58,000
Speaker 2: A girl might like some things that more boys like,

682
00:36:58,400 --> 00:37:00,920
Speaker 2: or she might have more friends that are boys, and

683
00:37:01,000 --> 00:37:03,360
Speaker 2: she lets those feelings trick her into believing that she

684
00:37:03,440 --> 00:37:07,080
Speaker 2: actually is a boy. And say, this is not God's

685
00:37:07,080 --> 00:37:11,040
Speaker 2: good design, because God's design is our bodies reveal whether

686
00:37:11,080 --> 00:37:13,480
Speaker 2: we're male or whether we're female. And then we can say,

687
00:37:13,480 --> 00:37:15,800
Speaker 2: but you know what, just like we've talked about, Jesus

688
00:37:15,880 --> 00:37:18,800
Speaker 2: defeated the power and the punishment of sin on the cross,

689
00:37:18,840 --> 00:37:20,879
Speaker 2: and when he rose from the grave, and one day

690
00:37:21,120 --> 00:37:22,960
Speaker 2: he's going to return and make heaven and earth new.

691
00:37:22,960 --> 00:37:25,399
Speaker 2: And when he does, and those who trusted in him

692
00:37:25,480 --> 00:37:29,080
Speaker 2: are made new, there's not going to be any feelings

693
00:37:29,200 --> 00:37:31,160
Speaker 2: tricking us, whether it's about whether we're a boy or

694
00:37:31,200 --> 00:37:33,560
Speaker 2: a girl, or feelings tricking us about lashing out in

695
00:37:33,640 --> 00:37:37,319
Speaker 2: anger or anything else. And then that's when we again

696
00:37:37,360 --> 00:37:39,759
Speaker 2: want to go through that same three step formula that

697
00:37:39,840 --> 00:37:44,880
Speaker 2: I talked about before, where it's recognize, remind, and be kind.

698
00:37:45,000 --> 00:37:48,040
Speaker 2: So recognize this isn't God's good design. Remind yourself of

699
00:37:48,080 --> 00:37:50,080
Speaker 2: the truth by saying, God design us as male or

700
00:37:50,080 --> 00:37:52,719
Speaker 2: female in his image. God's design is good. And then

701
00:37:52,719 --> 00:37:54,960
Speaker 2: we're kind to that person, just as we would be

702
00:37:55,480 --> 00:37:58,200
Speaker 2: to anyone else. Now, that's obviously for younger kids. For

703
00:37:58,280 --> 00:38:01,319
Speaker 2: older kids, it might get a little tricky because it

704
00:38:01,400 --> 00:38:03,920
Speaker 2: might be personal that they might start to have friends

705
00:38:04,400 --> 00:38:08,400
Speaker 2: that are thinking along those lines. They might themselves, you know,

706
00:38:08,520 --> 00:38:11,080
Speaker 2: just because this is so much of a social contagion,

707
00:38:11,239 --> 00:38:13,920
Speaker 2: they might start to wonder these things themselves. And so

708
00:38:14,160 --> 00:38:17,080
Speaker 2: I recommend by starting by asking your child, do our

709
00:38:17,120 --> 00:38:19,560
Speaker 2: feelings always point us to truth? Because you know, at

710
00:38:19,560 --> 00:38:21,680
Speaker 2: the younger ages, you'll have had this conversation and they'll

711
00:38:21,680 --> 00:38:23,800
Speaker 2: know that you think that feelings don't point they'll always

712
00:38:23,800 --> 00:38:26,600
Speaker 2: point them to truth. But ask them that question, and

713
00:38:26,640 --> 00:38:30,319
Speaker 2: then if they say yes, give ask them why they

714
00:38:30,800 --> 00:38:32,839
Speaker 2: say that. And then I think you can offer them

715
00:38:32,880 --> 00:38:35,080
Speaker 2: some counter example to say, Well, let's pretend you had

716
00:38:35,080 --> 00:38:38,440
Speaker 2: a friend who was really struggling with depression and it

717
00:38:38,520 --> 00:38:40,439
Speaker 2: was just a really big deal, and this friend thought,

718
00:38:40,520 --> 00:38:43,080
Speaker 2: you know what, everybody's life would be better off if

719
00:38:43,120 --> 00:38:45,000
Speaker 2: I weren't here, and I would be so much happier

720
00:38:45,040 --> 00:38:46,600
Speaker 2: if I weren't here, So the best thing for me

721
00:38:46,640 --> 00:38:49,560
Speaker 2: to do is to take my life. Would your friend's

722
00:38:49,640 --> 00:38:51,880
Speaker 2: feelings be pointing them towards the truth? Would all of

723
00:38:51,920 --> 00:38:55,120
Speaker 2: our lives be better if that he or she wasn't here. No,

724
00:38:55,800 --> 00:38:58,000
Speaker 2: the feelings not pointing your friend towards the truth. Or

725
00:38:58,000 --> 00:39:01,040
Speaker 2: what about if you had a friend who struggle with

726
00:39:01,080 --> 00:39:03,759
Speaker 2: an eating disorder and they were so thin, they were

727
00:39:03,760 --> 00:39:06,240
Speaker 2: so thin that they were getting sick, but they thought,

728
00:39:06,440 --> 00:39:08,840
Speaker 2: I'm that I need to diet more, I need to

729
00:39:08,880 --> 00:39:11,880
Speaker 2: have more exercise. Are their feelings of being fat pointing

730
00:39:11,920 --> 00:39:14,680
Speaker 2: them towards the truth? Oh, they're leading them down a

731
00:39:14,719 --> 00:39:17,680
Speaker 2: path of sickness, and so show them how in these

732
00:39:17,760 --> 00:39:20,759
Speaker 2: areas feelings do not point to truth and say, you know.

733
00:39:20,840 --> 00:39:23,799
Speaker 2: It can be the same with someone believing that they

734
00:39:23,800 --> 00:39:29,040
Speaker 2: were born in the wrong body, that God designed them well,

735
00:39:29,200 --> 00:39:31,480
Speaker 2: that they are fearfully and wonderfully made. And you know what,

736
00:39:31,520 --> 00:39:33,799
Speaker 2: if you have a friend who's a boy who likes

737
00:39:33,800 --> 00:39:36,200
Speaker 2: to do ballet, there is nothing in scripture that says

738
00:39:36,200 --> 00:39:38,840
Speaker 2: that boys can't do ballet. It just means you're a

739
00:39:38,880 --> 00:39:42,240
Speaker 2: fearfully and wonderfully made male who happens to like ballet.

740
00:39:42,680 --> 00:39:45,319
Speaker 2: Or if you're a female who happens to like you know,

741
00:39:45,360 --> 00:39:48,640
Speaker 2: to have a shorter haircut doesn't mean that you're not

742
00:39:49,120 --> 00:39:51,319
Speaker 2: a girl. It just means that you're a fearfully and

743
00:39:51,360 --> 00:39:54,759
Speaker 2: wonderfully made girl who happens to like shorter hair, and

744
00:39:55,480 --> 00:40:01,160
Speaker 2: showing them how the biblical worldview actually offers a better solution,

745
00:40:01,360 --> 00:40:04,040
Speaker 2: that it doesn't deny your body, but it shows how

746
00:40:04,400 --> 00:40:09,640
Speaker 2: special your body is and how valuable you are, no

747
00:40:09,680 --> 00:40:14,480
Speaker 2: matter what desires or interests, or gifts or talents or

748
00:40:14,520 --> 00:40:17,480
Speaker 2: weaknesses you have been born with. Mm hmm.

749
00:40:18,280 --> 00:40:20,400
Speaker 1: That is really important, I know.

750
00:40:21,000 --> 00:40:21,120
Speaker 2: Uh.

751
00:40:21,320 --> 00:40:23,960
Speaker 1: And a lot of the struggles that we've we've raised

752
00:40:24,040 --> 00:40:26,160
Speaker 1: kids in there have been some kids who've struggled in

753
00:40:27,040 --> 00:40:29,560
Speaker 1: these areas, and a lot of times it can be

754
00:40:29,719 --> 00:40:33,800
Speaker 1: in the church that the church is not really giving

755
00:40:33,840 --> 00:40:38,600
Speaker 1: biblically sound sound advice on the issue of gender in

756
00:40:38,719 --> 00:40:43,640
Speaker 1: terms of or or biblically sound foundation because a lot

757
00:40:43,680 --> 00:40:46,279
Speaker 1: of times, some of my friends I know that their

758
00:40:46,680 --> 00:40:49,040
Speaker 1: kids were raised in areas where we're this is what

759
00:40:49,120 --> 00:40:51,120
Speaker 1: a girl is supposed to do and what she's supposed

760
00:40:51,160 --> 00:40:53,080
Speaker 1: to like, and these are the roles that she can fill.

761
00:40:53,160 --> 00:40:54,839
Speaker 1: And here's what the boy is supposed to do and

762
00:40:54,840 --> 00:40:56,880
Speaker 1: what he's supposed to like, and the roles that he

763
00:40:56,920 --> 00:41:01,840
Speaker 1: can fill, and they aren't actually biblical, and the kids

764
00:41:02,000 --> 00:41:05,439
Speaker 1: end up struggling because they're so confused because they God

765
00:41:05,520 --> 00:41:09,040
Speaker 1: puts something in them that they weren't allowed to do

766
00:41:09,440 --> 00:41:12,880
Speaker 1: in that circle of people, and so that they go

767
00:41:12,960 --> 00:41:14,840
Speaker 1: outside of that circle and they find people, well, of

768
00:41:14,880 --> 00:41:16,839
Speaker 1: course you can do those things. And so we need

769
00:41:16,880 --> 00:41:19,200
Speaker 1: to be very careful within the Body of Christ that

770
00:41:19,239 --> 00:41:25,080
Speaker 1: we're we're not advancing ideas about gender that really are

771
00:41:25,080 --> 00:41:28,719
Speaker 1: not biblical. When I look at Scripture, I see so

772
00:41:28,800 --> 00:41:31,799
Speaker 1: many things that women are called to do from cover

773
00:41:31,880 --> 00:41:33,840
Speaker 1: to cover of the book, and a lot of times

774
00:41:34,120 --> 00:41:36,640
Speaker 1: we're told in certain circles, well women can't do that.

775
00:41:36,719 --> 00:41:38,080
Speaker 1: I'm like, well, why did she do this?

776
00:41:38,160 --> 00:41:38,719
Speaker 2: And do that?

777
00:41:38,880 --> 00:41:42,520
Speaker 1: And you do it anyways. That's just something that I

778
00:41:42,520 --> 00:41:44,239
Speaker 1: think we need to be very careful about in the

779
00:41:44,280 --> 00:41:47,120
Speaker 1: Body of Christ because sometimes we can get bad advice there.

780
00:41:47,680 --> 00:41:50,759
Speaker 1: We only have a few minutes left, and there's so

781
00:41:50,840 --> 00:41:52,759
Speaker 1: many topics in this book that you cover. I know

782
00:41:52,800 --> 00:41:56,280
Speaker 1: you covered porn and you mentioned Christian Jensen's Good Pictures

783
00:41:56,360 --> 00:41:59,560
Speaker 1: Bad Pictures and Good Pictures Bad Pictures Junior. I highly

784
00:41:59,600 --> 00:42:02,759
Speaker 1: recommend and that for any parents out there that want

785
00:42:02,760 --> 00:42:05,640
Speaker 1: to have start the conversation about pornography with your kids.

786
00:42:05,719 --> 00:42:07,279
Speaker 1: I got those books and I had a couple of

787
00:42:07,320 --> 00:42:10,279
Speaker 1: episodes with her a couple of years ago that are

788
00:42:10,400 --> 00:42:13,480
Speaker 1: so phenomenal. You talk about modesty, that's another one I

789
00:42:13,520 --> 00:42:15,080
Speaker 1: would love to pick your brain about. But there's one

790
00:42:15,120 --> 00:42:17,600
Speaker 1: topic we have to get to. We have to get to.

791
00:42:17,760 --> 00:42:19,920
Speaker 1: This is something we really haven't talked about on the

792
00:42:19,960 --> 00:42:22,080
Speaker 1: show other than I had a guest that struggled with

793
00:42:22,120 --> 00:42:26,200
Speaker 1: this area and the Lord said her free. But this

794
00:42:26,239 --> 00:42:29,080
Speaker 1: is a conversation I think we feel very uncomfortable about.

795
00:42:29,280 --> 00:42:32,440
Speaker 1: I love what you put on the first line of

796
00:42:32,440 --> 00:42:37,600
Speaker 1: this chapter, chapter eleven. It's on masturbation. You said masturbation

797
00:42:37,760 --> 00:42:40,799
Speaker 1: is probably not a topic you're excited to discuss with

798
00:42:40,880 --> 00:42:43,799
Speaker 1: your child. And I wrote on top of that, with

799
00:42:43,840 --> 00:42:47,359
Speaker 1: big stars, truer words have never been spoken. I don't

800
00:42:47,440 --> 00:42:52,560
Speaker 1: know any parent go and talk to their kids about this.

801
00:42:52,560 --> 00:42:57,080
Speaker 1: This one is so hard, Elizabeth. Where do we start

802
00:42:57,120 --> 00:43:00,640
Speaker 1: to unpack God's good design when it comes to top that.

803
00:43:00,800 --> 00:43:04,600
Speaker 1: Really you can't find it in scripture, but you can

804
00:43:04,640 --> 00:43:07,920
Speaker 1: find principles that will help guide you on this topic

805
00:43:08,080 --> 00:43:08,719
Speaker 1: in scripture.

806
00:43:09,320 --> 00:43:12,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, so I recommend. So I'm gonna use a big

807
00:43:12,520 --> 00:43:14,279
Speaker 2: word and then I'm going to unpack it. So I

808
00:43:14,320 --> 00:43:19,239
Speaker 2: recommend that people take a teleological approach. And teleology is

809
00:43:19,440 --> 00:43:23,120
Speaker 2: the goal or the purpose of something. And so you know,

810
00:43:23,160 --> 00:43:25,960
Speaker 2: scripture doesn't say that shall not masturbate, you know, like

811
00:43:26,000 --> 00:43:28,080
Speaker 2: that's not in scripture. But there's a whole host of

812
00:43:28,160 --> 00:43:33,120
Speaker 2: things that we know are wrong that are not in scripture.

813
00:43:33,160 --> 00:43:35,000
Speaker 2: You know. Scripture doesn't say, like, you know, like you

814
00:43:35,040 --> 00:43:38,120
Speaker 2: shall not hold your your next door neighbor's daughter hostage.

815
00:43:38,120 --> 00:43:40,360
Speaker 2: You know, but we do know that that you know

816
00:43:40,520 --> 00:43:43,480
Speaker 2: that that is like that that would be against you know,

817
00:43:43,600 --> 00:43:46,799
Speaker 2: the biblical principles. I mean, there are there are some

818
00:43:46,920 --> 00:43:48,840
Speaker 2: verses that might you know, speak more directly to that,

819
00:43:49,000 --> 00:43:51,720
Speaker 2: but sometimes we just look for like what exact wording

820
00:43:51,800 --> 00:43:54,680
Speaker 2: is in scripture, where yes, we do need to look

821
00:43:54,719 --> 00:43:56,279
Speaker 2: for the exact wording, but we also need to look

822
00:43:56,280 --> 00:43:59,239
Speaker 2: for the biblical principles. So I recommend starting off the

823
00:43:59,280 --> 00:44:02,399
Speaker 2: conversation just with a conversation that you've hopefully already had

824
00:44:02,680 --> 00:44:05,800
Speaker 2: with your kids, is what is the biblical purpose of sex?

825
00:44:05,840 --> 00:44:09,400
Speaker 2: Why did God design sex within marriage? And I think

826
00:44:09,680 --> 00:44:12,719
Speaker 2: that there are three main purposes that we find in

827
00:44:12,760 --> 00:44:16,520
Speaker 2: scripture for sex. You know, First we see right in

828
00:44:16,560 --> 00:44:19,560
Speaker 2: Genesis one twenty eight that God commands Adam and Eve

829
00:44:19,680 --> 00:44:21,799
Speaker 2: to be fruitful and multiply, to fill the earth and

830
00:44:21,800 --> 00:44:25,359
Speaker 2: subdue it. And so sex within marriage is the way

831
00:44:25,400 --> 00:44:28,080
Speaker 2: that God has given us to be fruitful physically and

832
00:44:28,120 --> 00:44:31,680
Speaker 2: to multiply physically. And so God has given sex for

833
00:44:31,920 --> 00:44:37,279
Speaker 2: the creation of children within marriage. Then what we've talked about,

834
00:44:37,320 --> 00:44:40,080
Speaker 2: I think it was the previous episode we did talked about,

835
00:44:40,120 --> 00:44:41,880
Speaker 2: you know, in the opening chapters of Genesis where it

836
00:44:41,880 --> 00:44:44,560
Speaker 2: says and then Adam knew his wife that that word

837
00:44:44,680 --> 00:44:47,760
Speaker 2: is the word YadA to know. And so we see

838
00:44:47,800 --> 00:44:52,279
Speaker 2: throughout scripture that sex within marriage is designed to create intimacy,

839
00:44:52,320 --> 00:44:54,160
Speaker 2: you know, so this would be the pleasure part of

840
00:44:54,200 --> 00:44:58,560
Speaker 2: sex in God's purpose there. And then we see in

841
00:44:58,600 --> 00:45:02,279
Speaker 2: Ephesians chapter five, but at all of marriage, including the

842
00:45:02,320 --> 00:45:06,239
Speaker 2: one flash sexual union is a picture of Christ and

843
00:45:06,280 --> 00:45:08,160
Speaker 2: the Church. And so we want our kids to see

844
00:45:08,200 --> 00:45:12,120
Speaker 2: that these are the three main biblical purposes of sex.

845
00:45:12,600 --> 00:45:15,600
Speaker 2: To be fruitful multiplied, to have children, to have an

846
00:45:15,600 --> 00:45:19,239
Speaker 2: intimate knowledge of your spouse, to create intimacy, and to

847
00:45:19,320 --> 00:45:21,520
Speaker 2: be a picture of Christ and the Church. And so

848
00:45:21,560 --> 00:45:24,000
Speaker 2: then we can just briefly explain to our kids. And

849
00:45:24,040 --> 00:45:26,320
Speaker 2: now this again is not a conversation. I recommend having

850
00:45:26,440 --> 00:45:29,160
Speaker 2: at the age of four, but somewhere around the age

851
00:45:29,160 --> 00:45:32,160
Speaker 2: of nine or ten, simply because other kids are getting

852
00:45:32,200 --> 00:45:35,560
Speaker 2: exposed to this idea in public sex and curriculums, you know,

853
00:45:35,600 --> 00:45:37,399
Speaker 2: so we want to be the first ones to talk

854
00:45:37,440 --> 00:45:38,840
Speaker 2: with our kids about that. So we can say, you know,

855
00:45:39,280 --> 00:45:42,600
Speaker 2: sometimes what people will do is they will touch their

856
00:45:42,640 --> 00:45:44,839
Speaker 2: private parts, they'll touch their penis, or they'll touch their

857
00:45:44,920 --> 00:45:48,279
Speaker 2: vagina in a way that makes it feel like they're

858
00:45:48,320 --> 00:45:50,640
Speaker 2: having sex. Now, especially when you're talking to girls, you

859
00:45:50,680 --> 00:45:53,520
Speaker 2: can explain this is not like wiping yourself after you

860
00:45:53,640 --> 00:45:55,680
Speaker 2: use the bathroom. You know, that's a good and right

861
00:45:55,719 --> 00:45:59,480
Speaker 2: thing to do and say and they think, you know

862
00:45:59,480 --> 00:46:01,640
Speaker 2: what it's It's okay because I'm not doing this with

863
00:46:01,680 --> 00:46:04,680
Speaker 2: anybody else, so technically I'm not having sex with another person.

864
00:46:04,760 --> 00:46:06,719
Speaker 2: And then say, but let's see, does this fit in

865
00:46:06,719 --> 00:46:10,280
Speaker 2: with any of God's purposes for sex? When one person

866
00:46:10,640 --> 00:46:15,120
Speaker 2: is by themselves, can they be fruitful and multiply? No,

867
00:46:15,160 --> 00:46:17,400
Speaker 2: it requires a man's body and a woman's body to

868
00:46:17,480 --> 00:46:20,799
Speaker 2: be fruitful and multiply to make more children. Is that

869
00:46:20,920 --> 00:46:23,880
Speaker 2: person getting to know their husband and wife better if

870
00:46:23,920 --> 00:46:28,000
Speaker 2: they're by themselves. No, that's not creating intimacy between a

871
00:46:28,080 --> 00:46:31,760
Speaker 2: husband and wife. Okay, is that a picture of Jesus

872
00:46:31,840 --> 00:46:35,520
Speaker 2: and the church. No one person by themselves can't represent

873
00:46:35,600 --> 00:46:38,120
Speaker 2: Jesus in the church because that requires one man and

874
00:46:38,160 --> 00:46:40,400
Speaker 2: one woman. So we can say, so we can see

875
00:46:40,440 --> 00:46:43,880
Speaker 2: that this touching of the private parts, which is sometimes

876
00:46:43,920 --> 00:46:46,200
Speaker 2: called masturbation, it doesn't fit in with any of the

877
00:46:46,200 --> 00:46:49,359
Speaker 2: biblical purposes of sex. It can't create children, it can't

878
00:46:49,360 --> 00:46:51,880
Speaker 2: create intimacy, and it's not a picture of Jesus and

879
00:46:51,920 --> 00:46:55,560
Speaker 2: the church. So this is something that doesn't fit within

880
00:46:55,840 --> 00:46:59,960
Speaker 2: God's purposes for sex. So this is something if you

881
00:47:00,160 --> 00:47:02,919
Speaker 2: hear someone talking about this, this is something that you're

882
00:47:02,960 --> 00:47:04,560
Speaker 2: not going to want to talk about with them. You

883
00:47:04,600 --> 00:47:06,880
Speaker 2: can say I don't want to talk about that, you know,

884
00:47:06,920 --> 00:47:09,120
Speaker 2: and say this is something that if you ever hear

885
00:47:09,160 --> 00:47:11,680
Speaker 2: about someone doing, or if it's something that you're tempted

886
00:47:11,719 --> 00:47:13,360
Speaker 2: to do. I always want you to be able to

887
00:47:13,360 --> 00:47:16,440
Speaker 2: come to me and talk to me about these things.

888
00:47:16,440 --> 00:47:18,600
Speaker 2: But you just want to give them the basic knowledge

889
00:47:18,640 --> 00:47:21,560
Speaker 2: of what it is and why it doesn't fall within

890
00:47:21,880 --> 00:47:22,880
Speaker 2: God's good design.

891
00:47:24,160 --> 00:47:28,719
Speaker 1: Huh. I'm so relieved, thank you, thank you. I would

892
00:47:28,840 --> 00:47:32,000
Speaker 1: just be honest a little transparent here. I don't know

893
00:47:32,080 --> 00:47:35,839
Speaker 1: that we had this conversation with mine. It's the way

894
00:47:35,880 --> 00:47:38,920
Speaker 1: we should have at the time that we should have.

895
00:47:39,840 --> 00:47:42,160
Speaker 1: I'm going to be going over that making sure my

896
00:47:42,239 --> 00:47:44,919
Speaker 1: husband listens. He listens to all my episodes, but I'm

897
00:47:44,920 --> 00:47:47,000
Speaker 1: going to be like, yeah, we need to have some

898
00:47:47,040 --> 00:47:50,600
Speaker 1: conversations with our kids about this topic in particular, because

899
00:47:51,560 --> 00:47:54,840
Speaker 1: it's just I never had that conversation with my parents

900
00:47:54,920 --> 00:47:57,560
Speaker 1: at all. This is just, you know, some and I

901
00:47:57,560 --> 00:48:00,279
Speaker 1: don't know that I've heard of a life a lot

902
00:48:00,320 --> 00:48:03,040
Speaker 1: of youth leaders or you know, it would be an

903
00:48:03,040 --> 00:48:06,080
Speaker 1: awkward conversation to have in a mass group of people.

904
00:48:06,960 --> 00:48:10,760
Speaker 1: This is the proper context for this conversation is between

905
00:48:10,800 --> 00:48:12,239
Speaker 1: a parent and a child, and I think the way

906
00:48:12,280 --> 00:48:15,239
Speaker 1: that you lay that out is beautiful and perfect and

907
00:48:15,440 --> 00:48:19,120
Speaker 1: according to God's good design. This has been so incredible,

908
00:48:19,200 --> 00:48:23,920
Speaker 1: so thoughtful, so deeply biblical, and so incredibly practical. Elizabeth.

909
00:48:24,160 --> 00:48:26,960
Speaker 1: I'm really grateful for the ways that you are equipping

910
00:48:26,960 --> 00:48:31,680
Speaker 1: parents to build strong, good and God honoring foundations for

911
00:48:31,920 --> 00:48:35,759
Speaker 1: kids in the area and all areas, but especially this one.

912
00:48:35,760 --> 00:48:39,560
Speaker 1: This is so important and sexuality and gender, so thank you,

913
00:48:39,760 --> 00:48:41,880
Speaker 1: thank you for the work that you're doing. It really

914
00:48:42,040 --> 00:48:45,600
Speaker 1: does matter. It matters more than you know. And before

915
00:48:45,600 --> 00:48:47,640
Speaker 1: we wrap up, why don't you tell our listeners any

916
00:48:47,640 --> 00:48:49,799
Speaker 1: final thoughts you have and where they can learn more

917
00:48:49,800 --> 00:48:53,279
Speaker 1: about you. Explore the resources at Foundation Worldview and get

918
00:48:53,360 --> 00:48:56,680
Speaker 1: a copy of Helping Your Kids Know God's Good Design.

919
00:48:56,760 --> 00:48:59,960
Speaker 1: Forty questions and answers on sexuality and gender.

920
00:49:00,760 --> 00:49:03,160
Speaker 2: Yeah. Well, first, all glory to God if this helps anybody,

921
00:49:03,200 --> 00:49:06,160
Speaker 2: and that is not an understatement or being modest, It

922
00:49:06,239 --> 00:49:09,520
Speaker 2: is just the truth of the matter. And then for

923
00:49:09,560 --> 00:49:12,080
Speaker 2: any parent who's listening and thinking, you know, similar to

924
00:49:12,080 --> 00:49:14,440
Speaker 2: what you were just saying, Catherine, like, oh goodness, I

925
00:49:14,440 --> 00:49:16,840
Speaker 2: didn't have this conversation with my child, Like what was

926
00:49:16,880 --> 00:49:19,319
Speaker 2: I thinking? I don't know. Just to remember this is

927
00:49:19,320 --> 00:49:21,960
Speaker 2: one of the amazing things about parenting that God hasn't

928
00:49:21,960 --> 00:49:24,200
Speaker 2: called you to be perfect. He's called you to be faithful.

929
00:49:24,600 --> 00:49:27,040
Speaker 2: And when you realize, oh, I didn't maybe make the

930
00:49:27,080 --> 00:49:29,680
Speaker 2: wisest decision there, you go back and say, hey, you

931
00:49:29,719 --> 00:49:32,000
Speaker 2: know what, I'm sorry, I probably should have this conversation

932
00:49:32,040 --> 00:49:34,800
Speaker 2: with you like five years ago, but I didn't. But so,

933
00:49:34,920 --> 00:49:36,239
Speaker 2: you know what, right now, I want to put it

934
00:49:36,280 --> 00:49:38,520
Speaker 2: on the table because I want you to know make

935
00:49:38,560 --> 00:49:40,840
Speaker 2: sure that you understand what God's good design is. And

936
00:49:40,880 --> 00:49:42,799
Speaker 2: I also want you to know that you can come

937
00:49:42,840 --> 00:49:45,360
Speaker 2: to me with any question. You can come to me

938
00:49:45,480 --> 00:49:47,840
Speaker 2: to confess any sin. You know, you can come to

939
00:49:47,880 --> 00:49:51,560
Speaker 2: me with anything that you're wondering, because I want to

940
00:49:51,640 --> 00:49:54,080
Speaker 2: love you and point you towards Jesus. So just remember

941
00:49:54,120 --> 00:49:57,560
Speaker 2: it's never too late to start these conversations. And if

942
00:49:57,600 --> 00:50:00,120
Speaker 2: you have a conversation you're like, well, I just blew that.

943
00:50:00,280 --> 00:50:04,200
Speaker 2: You know that one went really terribly. You reef group

944
00:50:04,200 --> 00:50:06,000
Speaker 2: again tomorrow and say, hey, you know what yesterday when

945
00:50:06,040 --> 00:50:07,600
Speaker 2: we talked about this, I did not do a good

946
00:50:07,719 --> 00:50:09,440
Speaker 2: job of explaining this, or I did not do a

947
00:50:09,440 --> 00:50:12,840
Speaker 2: good job of staying calm and patient, ask for forgiveness.

948
00:50:13,400 --> 00:50:16,040
Speaker 2: Try again for a round two. You don't need to

949
00:50:16,080 --> 00:50:18,759
Speaker 2: walk away feeling discouraged. And then for anybody who is

950
00:50:18,800 --> 00:50:21,400
Speaker 2: interested in the resources that we create a Foundation Worldview,

951
00:50:21,640 --> 00:50:24,719
Speaker 2: you can go to Foundation worldview dot com to find

952
00:50:24,760 --> 00:50:27,040
Speaker 2: out about all of the resources that we have available.

953
00:50:27,080 --> 00:50:28,719
Speaker 2: There there'll be a link to the book, or if

954
00:50:28,760 --> 00:50:30,640
Speaker 2: you just want the book, you can go directly to

955
00:50:30,680 --> 00:50:33,960
Speaker 2: Amazon or wherever your favorite book retailer is.

956
00:50:35,320 --> 00:50:38,600
Speaker 1: Awesome. And one thing. I was in a really tough

957
00:50:38,600 --> 00:50:41,239
Speaker 1: conversation with one of my kids once and this was

958
00:50:41,600 --> 00:50:45,840
Speaker 1: one of those times where these words came out of

959
00:50:45,840 --> 00:50:47,799
Speaker 1: my mouth and I did not think them. I know

960
00:50:48,040 --> 00:50:50,000
Speaker 1: it was from God. I know it was the Holy Spirit.

961
00:50:50,040 --> 00:50:52,920
Speaker 1: I looked at this child and I said, please, you

962
00:50:53,120 --> 00:50:56,360
Speaker 1: have to know that there's nothing you can think, say

963
00:50:57,040 --> 00:51:00,520
Speaker 1: or do that will ever change my love for you.

964
00:51:01,600 --> 00:51:04,200
Speaker 1: And prefacing some of these conversations because you don't know

965
00:51:04,400 --> 00:51:07,239
Speaker 1: what your kids may have been thinking, what they may

966
00:51:07,239 --> 00:51:10,400
Speaker 1: have said or at some point have done. And I

967
00:51:10,400 --> 00:51:13,120
Speaker 1: always want my kids to know that this door is

968
00:51:13,120 --> 00:51:16,879
Speaker 1: always open, that my love will never change. And why

969
00:51:16,960 --> 00:51:20,280
Speaker 1: is that Because God's love for them will never change.

970
00:51:20,320 --> 00:51:22,240
Speaker 1: There's nothing we can think, say or do that changes

971
00:51:22,239 --> 00:51:25,239
Speaker 1: His love for us. So thank you so much, Elizabeth.

972
00:51:25,280 --> 00:51:29,720
Speaker 1: This has been incredible. It's always just such a gift

973
00:51:29,719 --> 00:51:31,880
Speaker 1: to have you on the show and I appreciate you

974
00:51:31,960 --> 00:51:34,759
Speaker 1: being so generous with your time today. Thank you well.

975
00:51:34,800 --> 00:51:36,400
Speaker 2: Thanks for having me on again, Catherine. It's been a

976
00:51:36,440 --> 00:51:37,480
Speaker 2: joy to chat with you today.

977
00:51:39,000 --> 00:51:42,920
Speaker 1: Moms and dads, here is the takeaway. We want to

978
00:51:42,960 --> 00:51:45,520
Speaker 1: become the safe place, the trusted voice, the go to

979
00:51:45,640 --> 00:51:49,000
Speaker 1: source our kids return to again and again when it

980
00:51:49,000 --> 00:51:53,880
Speaker 1: comes to sexuality and gender. Yes, these are hard conversations

981
00:51:53,920 --> 00:51:59,080
Speaker 1: and they can be very uncomfortable, but they are necessary.

982
00:51:59,160 --> 00:52:03,560
Speaker 1: So be courageous us step in, speak truth with love.

983
00:52:03,760 --> 00:52:06,239
Speaker 1: Talk to your kids about God's good design for their

984
00:52:06,280 --> 00:52:10,760
Speaker 1: sexuality and gender plantho siege, nurture them well, and trust

985
00:52:11,200 --> 00:52:14,160
Speaker 1: God to bring the growth. And always remember.

986
00:52:13,840 --> 00:52:18,840
Speaker 2: God gave you your kids, your specific kids for a reason.

987
00:52:19,320 --> 00:52:23,560
Speaker 1: That's because you hold the key to unlocking God created

988
00:52:23,600 --> 00:52:25,640
Speaker 1: them to be. We'll see you next.

989
00:52:25,480 --> 00:52:35,399
Speaker 2: Time, Christian parent Crazy World is a production of Life

990
00:52:35,440 --> 00:52:38,640
Speaker 2: Audio and Salem Media. If you liked what you heard today,

991
00:52:38,760 --> 00:52:41,680
Speaker 2: please take a second to rate and review this podcast

992
00:52:41,800 --> 00:52:44,799
Speaker 2: in your favorite podcast app so that more listeners like

993
00:52:44,840 --> 00:52:49,160
Speaker 2: you can find the show. For more faith filled inspirational podcasts,

994
00:52:49,400 --> 00:52:58,359
Speaker 2: visit us at lifeaudio dot com.