1 00:00:02,680 --> 00:00:05,880 Speaker 1: Life Audio. Guys, The View is Worth It. 2 00:00:06,120 --> 00:00:08,280 Speaker 2: I know that I might sound a little cliche, a 3 00:00:08,280 --> 00:00:11,520 Speaker 2: little Christian, but really the things that we go through 4 00:00:11,880 --> 00:00:14,480 Speaker 2: God can bring not only meaning and beauty to. 5 00:00:14,440 --> 00:00:18,160 Speaker 1: Those places, but breakthrough. Let's talk about it today. 6 00:00:21,640 --> 00:00:24,639 Speaker 2: Hello, Hello, Hello, ladies and gents, and welcome to this 7 00:00:24,640 --> 00:00:27,680 Speaker 2: week's episode of the Bottom Beloved Podcast. As always, it's 8 00:00:27,680 --> 00:00:30,319 Speaker 2: a girl Kirby Kelly back at it again, and I'm 9 00:00:30,360 --> 00:00:33,519 Speaker 2: so excited to be joined by my guest today. She 10 00:00:34,040 --> 00:00:36,159 Speaker 2: just came out with a new book a couple of 11 00:00:36,240 --> 00:00:38,680 Speaker 2: weeks ago, all right, but y'all can still order it, 12 00:00:38,800 --> 00:00:39,959 Speaker 2: y'all can still support her. 13 00:00:40,479 --> 00:00:42,560 Speaker 1: Her name is Victoria. 14 00:00:42,120 --> 00:00:44,640 Speaker 2: Arlen and her book I got an advanced copy, so 15 00:00:44,680 --> 00:00:45,879 Speaker 2: you won't have this little fun. 16 00:00:45,720 --> 00:00:48,400 Speaker 1: Sticker when you get it, but I did. And the 17 00:00:48,440 --> 00:00:51,200 Speaker 1: title of her book is The View Is Worth. 18 00:00:50,960 --> 00:00:54,959 Speaker 2: It, Unlocking the beauty in life's peaks and valleys. 19 00:00:55,160 --> 00:00:58,480 Speaker 1: And y'all know me, y'all know my story. 20 00:00:58,520 --> 00:01:01,200 Speaker 2: If you've been listening to my podcast for a long time, 21 00:01:01,320 --> 00:01:03,960 Speaker 2: unless this is your first time listening, Hi, Hello, glad 22 00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:07,240 Speaker 2: you're here. But if you know anything about me, that 23 00:01:07,319 --> 00:01:11,000 Speaker 2: has been my life too in a different way, but 24 00:01:11,360 --> 00:01:14,039 Speaker 2: just going through the peaks and valleys of life. And 25 00:01:14,080 --> 00:01:15,479 Speaker 2: a lot of us want to live on the peak. 26 00:01:15,560 --> 00:01:17,600 Speaker 2: We want to live on the mountain. We want that 27 00:01:17,720 --> 00:01:20,680 Speaker 2: to be our beautiful stay at home place. But how 28 00:01:20,720 --> 00:01:23,920 Speaker 2: many of us know that the valley is where so 29 00:01:24,080 --> 00:01:28,840 Speaker 2: much beauty can really happen, not just beauty, character, growth, 30 00:01:29,040 --> 00:01:34,360 Speaker 2: intimacy with God, change, new perspective. I mean, the view 31 00:01:34,520 --> 00:01:36,640 Speaker 2: is worth it from the top, but so is the 32 00:01:36,720 --> 00:01:39,360 Speaker 2: journey getting there. And that's what Victoria writes about. And 33 00:01:39,360 --> 00:01:41,480 Speaker 2: we're going to dive into all of that today. 34 00:01:41,520 --> 00:01:44,839 Speaker 1: But Victoria, welcome. Can you just like introduce. 35 00:01:44,400 --> 00:01:46,240 Speaker 2: Yourself to the people who don't know who you are 36 00:01:46,760 --> 00:01:49,640 Speaker 2: and let us know like what you're passionate about, what 37 00:01:49,680 --> 00:01:52,160 Speaker 2: you love to do, why you wrote the book. 38 00:01:52,920 --> 00:01:53,559 Speaker 3: Hi care people. 39 00:01:53,640 --> 00:01:56,160 Speaker 4: First off, thank you so much for having me, And 40 00:01:56,480 --> 00:01:57,600 Speaker 4: hello to your audience. 41 00:01:57,640 --> 00:02:00,880 Speaker 3: So I'm Victoria. I wear a lot of fun hats. 42 00:02:00,960 --> 00:02:04,600 Speaker 4: I'm a speaker, I'm a nonprofit founder. I'm a TV 43 00:02:04,680 --> 00:02:07,480 Speaker 4: host of in the television world for over a decade. 44 00:02:07,600 --> 00:02:09,560 Speaker 4: I want to go medal when I was a teenager, 45 00:02:09,600 --> 00:02:10,520 Speaker 4: which was pretty cool. 46 00:02:10,960 --> 00:02:14,160 Speaker 3: I'm a dog mom. I'm a very cute little doodle, 47 00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:15,959 Speaker 3: and I'm an author. 48 00:02:16,000 --> 00:02:19,720 Speaker 4: Which it's really wild that my second book is out 49 00:02:19,760 --> 00:02:23,519 Speaker 4: and this, by far is something my first book. 50 00:02:23,600 --> 00:02:25,120 Speaker 3: It came out, it kind of had to come out 51 00:02:25,120 --> 00:02:25,799 Speaker 3: because it had to. 52 00:02:25,760 --> 00:02:28,519 Speaker 4: Really set the story straight of what had happened to 53 00:02:28,600 --> 00:02:30,480 Speaker 4: me when I was a kid, and one that was 54 00:02:30,840 --> 00:02:32,760 Speaker 4: very much glorified without my permission. 55 00:02:32,800 --> 00:02:35,760 Speaker 3: And so this one, though, is what comes after. 56 00:02:35,880 --> 00:02:40,280 Speaker 4: And so what really I'm passionate about is helping other 57 00:02:40,400 --> 00:02:43,280 Speaker 4: people feel seen and heard. And we all go through, 58 00:02:43,320 --> 00:02:44,880 Speaker 4: like you said, the valley and we want to be 59 00:02:44,880 --> 00:02:46,600 Speaker 4: on the peak. It's fun on the peak, but sometimes 60 00:02:46,639 --> 00:02:49,079 Speaker 4: we still struggling on the peaks too because the valley 61 00:02:49,160 --> 00:02:53,080 Speaker 4: was so hard. So what I'm passionate about, to answer 62 00:02:53,160 --> 00:02:56,160 Speaker 4: your questionnaire, is really getting that message that the view 63 00:02:56,240 --> 00:02:58,360 Speaker 4: is worth it, but you're gonna have a climb along 64 00:02:58,400 --> 00:03:00,840 Speaker 4: the way, and you're not alone in that climb. And 65 00:03:01,240 --> 00:03:03,960 Speaker 4: really what inspired me to write this book was going 66 00:03:04,000 --> 00:03:08,040 Speaker 4: through my own struggles and just searching, you know, I 67 00:03:08,200 --> 00:03:10,600 Speaker 4: was I was searching, I was praying, I was just 68 00:03:10,680 --> 00:03:13,520 Speaker 4: trying to find trying to make it make sense why 69 00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:17,360 Speaker 4: I was struggling so badly, but yet expecting every single 70 00:03:17,440 --> 00:03:19,600 Speaker 4: day I had to put on this mask and pretend 71 00:03:19,639 --> 00:03:21,920 Speaker 4: like everything was okay until I couldn't do that anymore. 72 00:03:21,960 --> 00:03:24,200 Speaker 4: And so this book is really what did I need 73 00:03:24,240 --> 00:03:25,920 Speaker 4: at that time? What do you so many people I 74 00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:29,040 Speaker 4: know need, They need to feel seen, heard and understood? 75 00:03:29,400 --> 00:03:31,320 Speaker 4: And then what are some tangible tools, what are some 76 00:03:31,440 --> 00:03:33,840 Speaker 4: reminders that God's got your back. 77 00:03:33,639 --> 00:03:35,760 Speaker 3: And that you won't stay in that valley? 78 00:03:35,760 --> 00:03:38,720 Speaker 4: And so that's really what I'm passionate about, and it's 79 00:03:38,760 --> 00:03:41,200 Speaker 4: in through a lot of these pages and the. 80 00:03:41,160 --> 00:03:41,880 Speaker 3: Book, it's there. 81 00:03:42,640 --> 00:03:45,840 Speaker 2: I love it, and I love your perspective on things because. 82 00:03:46,080 --> 00:03:49,440 Speaker 1: I'm very different from you. Haven't won any medals, have. 83 00:03:50,360 --> 00:03:55,440 Speaker 2: TV shows, podcast, you've had your own podcast, So I do. 84 00:03:55,600 --> 00:03:59,880 Speaker 2: I do, but I feel like the high achiever kind 85 00:03:59,920 --> 00:04:03,480 Speaker 2: of like goal setting mindset, getting after it. I relate 86 00:04:03,520 --> 00:04:05,560 Speaker 2: to a lot of that, and there's I just see 87 00:04:05,560 --> 00:04:06,720 Speaker 2: a lot of that in your book, where it's like 88 00:04:06,760 --> 00:04:10,000 Speaker 2: you're this high achieving person. You've done so much, but 89 00:04:10,080 --> 00:04:13,280 Speaker 2: you've also been through so much. And I kind of 90 00:04:13,280 --> 00:04:14,920 Speaker 2: want to start there just by taking it back to 91 00:04:14,960 --> 00:04:18,000 Speaker 2: people who don't really know much about you and your childhood. 92 00:04:18,279 --> 00:04:20,800 Speaker 2: Could we just like begin there, even if it's briefly 93 00:04:21,200 --> 00:04:24,120 Speaker 2: someone who doesn't know your story about what happened to 94 00:04:24,200 --> 00:04:26,240 Speaker 2: you when you were a child and how that ended 95 00:04:26,320 --> 00:04:28,080 Speaker 2: up shaping the trajectory of your life. 96 00:04:28,920 --> 00:04:32,160 Speaker 4: I was a normal kid up until the age of 97 00:04:32,200 --> 00:04:36,000 Speaker 4: elevel normal up until the age of eleven, and then 98 00:04:36,240 --> 00:04:39,000 Speaker 4: I didn't feel good one day and I started having 99 00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:42,640 Speaker 4: a lot of questionable symptoms that doctors couldn't really figure out, 100 00:04:42,760 --> 00:04:47,880 Speaker 4: and so I really declined pretty quickly. So within three months, 101 00:04:47,920 --> 00:04:50,400 Speaker 4: I lost the ability to walk, talk, move, and function, 102 00:04:51,080 --> 00:04:55,320 Speaker 4: and unfortunately it went misdiagnosed by doctors. They initially told 103 00:04:55,320 --> 00:04:57,960 Speaker 4: my parents I was doing it for attention, I was crazy, 104 00:04:58,600 --> 00:05:03,440 Speaker 4: and that missed the crucial treatment window in which all 105 00:05:03,600 --> 00:05:07,119 Speaker 4: of what transpired could have been prevented. So I spent 106 00:05:07,160 --> 00:05:09,600 Speaker 4: four years in a vegetative state. I was written off 107 00:05:09,640 --> 00:05:11,760 Speaker 4: as a lost cause. And I'll let you in on 108 00:05:11,800 --> 00:05:13,640 Speaker 4: a secret. There's no such thing as a lost cause, 109 00:05:13,680 --> 00:05:15,440 Speaker 4: and if there is, I'll be the poster child, and 110 00:05:15,520 --> 00:05:16,280 Speaker 4: I'll continue to. 111 00:05:16,200 --> 00:05:16,960 Speaker 3: Be the poster child. 112 00:05:17,320 --> 00:05:19,960 Speaker 4: But they basically told my parents, you know, she's never 113 00:05:20,080 --> 00:05:22,400 Speaker 4: she's not gonna make it, and if she does make it, 114 00:05:22,800 --> 00:05:26,600 Speaker 4: the victoria you once knew was never coming back. And 115 00:05:26,960 --> 00:05:30,280 Speaker 4: my parents, you know, my mom, especially, she is a 116 00:05:30,320 --> 00:05:32,880 Speaker 4: warrior for Jesus, and she just refused to give up. 117 00:05:32,960 --> 00:05:36,040 Speaker 4: She literally told the doctors, what do we need to 118 00:05:36,080 --> 00:05:38,640 Speaker 4: do to set up a hospital in our home and 119 00:05:38,720 --> 00:05:40,960 Speaker 4: take care of her, because however long we have with her, 120 00:05:41,279 --> 00:05:43,000 Speaker 4: we want to give her that quality of life. And 121 00:05:43,080 --> 00:05:45,640 Speaker 4: she was just relentless. I mean, her and I've talked 122 00:05:45,680 --> 00:05:47,680 Speaker 4: at length. That's where she found God. Was in the 123 00:05:47,680 --> 00:05:49,880 Speaker 4: middle of an ICU room in the hospital where she 124 00:05:49,920 --> 00:05:51,440 Speaker 4: fell to her knees and said, God, I can't I 125 00:05:51,520 --> 00:05:54,560 Speaker 4: don't know what to do. They've given up, and I 126 00:05:54,600 --> 00:05:57,160 Speaker 4: know you don't give up. And so literally they just 127 00:05:57,240 --> 00:05:59,320 Speaker 4: kept believing for a miracle and taking care of me. 128 00:05:59,400 --> 00:06:03,320 Speaker 4: And that mirror came four years later through blinking, where 129 00:06:03,320 --> 00:06:05,440 Speaker 4: I essentially got control of my eyes back because I 130 00:06:05,480 --> 00:06:07,880 Speaker 4: could see and hear for those four years, but nobody 131 00:06:07,920 --> 00:06:10,120 Speaker 4: knew that I could, so I was aware. 132 00:06:10,240 --> 00:06:12,039 Speaker 3: But that's where I found my faith. 133 00:06:12,120 --> 00:06:14,320 Speaker 4: That's where I said, well, I remember praying in my 134 00:06:14,360 --> 00:06:15,640 Speaker 4: head don't get hear. 135 00:06:15,560 --> 00:06:17,520 Speaker 3: Me, but can you hear me? God? I'm gonna give 136 00:06:17,560 --> 00:06:18,400 Speaker 3: this God thing a try. 137 00:06:18,480 --> 00:06:21,400 Speaker 4: Because I was eleven, so I didn't have a ton 138 00:06:21,520 --> 00:06:24,600 Speaker 4: of knowledge that you know, God is your heavenly father, 139 00:06:24,800 --> 00:06:27,520 Speaker 4: and he's just right there. And when I didn't have 140 00:06:27,600 --> 00:06:30,000 Speaker 4: anyone else that I could talk to, I just started 141 00:06:30,360 --> 00:06:32,320 Speaker 4: speaking to him, and so did my mom too, and 142 00:06:32,640 --> 00:06:35,599 Speaker 4: it was just this journey of just my mom calls 143 00:06:35,600 --> 00:06:39,040 Speaker 4: it the tragic, beautiful journey, and so long story shore. 144 00:06:39,040 --> 00:06:41,839 Speaker 4: When I started blinking, that was kind of the miracle 145 00:06:42,080 --> 00:06:45,479 Speaker 4: that no one was expecting, and that eventually brought me 146 00:06:45,520 --> 00:06:46,039 Speaker 4: back to life. 147 00:06:46,080 --> 00:06:47,839 Speaker 3: So I learned how to talk, I learned how to move. 148 00:06:48,279 --> 00:06:50,840 Speaker 3: Walking took a little bit longer. That was a bit 149 00:06:50,880 --> 00:06:51,640 Speaker 3: of a process. 150 00:06:51,800 --> 00:06:54,400 Speaker 4: But in the midst of it all, I was in 151 00:06:54,440 --> 00:06:56,800 Speaker 4: this catch up mode, you know, got to get back 152 00:06:56,800 --> 00:06:58,880 Speaker 4: to life, get back to school, get back to because 153 00:06:58,880 --> 00:07:00,360 Speaker 4: I'd missed so much of my life if I went 154 00:07:00,400 --> 00:07:03,960 Speaker 4: from eleven to fifteen overnight, and so there was never 155 00:07:04,080 --> 00:07:06,520 Speaker 4: time to actually process what had happened to me. And 156 00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:10,400 Speaker 4: there was a lot of traumatic things that just went 157 00:07:10,480 --> 00:07:13,800 Speaker 4: on and I really didn't have a. 158 00:07:13,840 --> 00:07:15,120 Speaker 3: Chance to process it. 159 00:07:15,200 --> 00:07:18,560 Speaker 4: And then when I had success in swimming, my story 160 00:07:18,560 --> 00:07:22,520 Speaker 4: got shared without my permission, and essentially I was given 161 00:07:22,560 --> 00:07:24,400 Speaker 4: the superhero cape. But I had no idea how to 162 00:07:24,400 --> 00:07:27,720 Speaker 4: be a superhero, and I didn't know what my voice was. 163 00:07:27,760 --> 00:07:32,000 Speaker 4: I didn't know that, you know, it's not normal to 164 00:07:32,000 --> 00:07:34,160 Speaker 4: be anxious all the time, depressed all the time, having 165 00:07:34,200 --> 00:07:36,800 Speaker 4: these panic attacks, and then I get put into television 166 00:07:37,120 --> 00:07:39,040 Speaker 4: and so I'm just all of a sudden, there's this 167 00:07:39,160 --> 00:07:43,440 Speaker 4: expectation of go, go, go, achieve, achieve, achieve, do the 168 00:07:44,040 --> 00:07:47,960 Speaker 4: next impossible thing, that no one actually stopped to. 169 00:07:47,880 --> 00:07:50,320 Speaker 3: Say, are you okay, because the answer. 170 00:07:50,080 --> 00:07:52,720 Speaker 4: Would have been no, And I just I didn't know 171 00:07:52,760 --> 00:07:55,960 Speaker 4: how to essentially verbalize that because no one had recovered 172 00:07:56,000 --> 00:07:58,440 Speaker 4: from what I had recovered from, and no one knew 173 00:07:58,480 --> 00:08:01,000 Speaker 4: the extent of the use I faced when I was 174 00:08:01,040 --> 00:08:04,640 Speaker 4: in the hospital, some of the other really traumatic ordeals 175 00:08:04,640 --> 00:08:07,640 Speaker 4: of just being locked in alone. That it really didn't 176 00:08:07,720 --> 00:08:10,240 Speaker 4: hit me until my twenties, where I was like, I'm 177 00:08:10,280 --> 00:08:15,080 Speaker 4: not okay, but no one at that point everyone wants 178 00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:17,680 Speaker 4: a hero or a miracle. We have this hero complex 179 00:08:17,720 --> 00:08:21,000 Speaker 4: around around tire and or just around the world, and 180 00:08:21,080 --> 00:08:23,520 Speaker 4: so you need that hero and that hero can't break. 181 00:08:23,560 --> 00:08:26,880 Speaker 4: And that was essentially what broke me was I'm not 182 00:08:26,920 --> 00:08:28,760 Speaker 4: allowed to have a bad day and I'm not allowed 183 00:08:28,760 --> 00:08:31,640 Speaker 4: to be sad or anxious, and I just have to go, go, go, 184 00:08:31,720 --> 00:08:33,559 Speaker 4: And it's like, well, no, if you stopped and actually 185 00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:35,360 Speaker 4: paid attention, you would see that. 186 00:08:35,360 --> 00:08:36,240 Speaker 3: Something's very wrong. 187 00:08:37,960 --> 00:08:39,920 Speaker 2: I'm sure that there are a lot of people, even 188 00:08:39,960 --> 00:08:43,040 Speaker 2: given like their unique set of circumstances, because you have 189 00:08:43,120 --> 00:08:45,720 Speaker 2: achieved a lot, like you have lived a life that 190 00:08:45,960 --> 00:08:50,959 Speaker 2: very few people have lived, but they're living their own 191 00:08:51,800 --> 00:08:54,079 Speaker 2: story that is similar to that, where it's like I've 192 00:08:54,120 --> 00:09:00,520 Speaker 2: been thrust into these opportunities or these expectations or this lifestyle. 193 00:09:00,120 --> 00:09:02,679 Speaker 1: And I never necessarily asked for it. 194 00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:06,560 Speaker 2: Maybe I'm thankful for it in some ways, but there's 195 00:09:06,559 --> 00:09:09,280 Speaker 2: also so many burdens that are coming with this where 196 00:09:09,280 --> 00:09:11,240 Speaker 2: it's like, am I even okay? 197 00:09:11,480 --> 00:09:13,800 Speaker 1: Like am I even even functioning? 198 00:09:14,160 --> 00:09:18,600 Speaker 2: And I'm wondering for those people today who relate to 199 00:09:18,640 --> 00:09:21,199 Speaker 2: you in that way, what was that like for you? 200 00:09:21,520 --> 00:09:26,679 Speaker 2: Like what eventually in the breaking led to a breakthrough 201 00:09:27,080 --> 00:09:27,520 Speaker 2: for you? 202 00:09:28,400 --> 00:09:31,680 Speaker 3: It was it was kind of the combination of things. 203 00:09:31,800 --> 00:09:35,440 Speaker 4: I think I started talking to God again a little bit, 204 00:09:35,520 --> 00:09:37,480 Speaker 4: and he was like nudging me along that because I 205 00:09:37,559 --> 00:09:42,320 Speaker 4: was so lost, and there were several signs that you know, 206 00:09:42,720 --> 00:09:44,960 Speaker 4: a breakthrough is on its way, but I had to 207 00:09:45,040 --> 00:09:48,560 Speaker 4: break first. It was actually it was in July of 208 00:09:48,559 --> 00:09:51,120 Speaker 4: twenty twenty one. I tried to take my own life. 209 00:09:51,720 --> 00:09:57,040 Speaker 4: And I had had a really long couple of weeks. 210 00:09:57,160 --> 00:10:01,000 Speaker 3: I was at this epitome of success. I people in my. 211 00:10:00,920 --> 00:10:03,360 Speaker 4: Life saying, you have too much going on to be unhappy, 212 00:10:03,400 --> 00:10:05,920 Speaker 4: like what's wrong, and you know, get snap out of it. 213 00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:09,400 Speaker 3: Get and not my family, but close people around me. 214 00:10:09,600 --> 00:10:12,760 Speaker 4: And so I felt very guilty with why couldn't I 215 00:10:12,840 --> 00:10:16,040 Speaker 4: feel Why couldn't I Why am I literally anytime I 216 00:10:16,080 --> 00:10:18,839 Speaker 4: have a break, I'm breaking down. And so that one 217 00:10:18,960 --> 00:10:21,640 Speaker 4: night in particular, I had had like four or five 218 00:10:21,679 --> 00:10:24,120 Speaker 4: panic attacks. I'd just come back from a trip that 219 00:10:24,280 --> 00:10:28,040 Speaker 4: was just awful, and I was just I was so alone. 220 00:10:28,080 --> 00:10:30,960 Speaker 4: I've never felt so alone in my life, and I 221 00:10:31,200 --> 00:10:33,720 Speaker 4: just I had a plan and I was ready to 222 00:10:33,840 --> 00:10:35,800 Speaker 4: execute that playing because I was like, God, I'm done, 223 00:10:35,880 --> 00:10:38,960 Speaker 4: I can't do this anymore. I it was I remember 224 00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:41,480 Speaker 4: texting my mom earlier in the day it was easier 225 00:10:41,520 --> 00:10:43,520 Speaker 4: to be locked in than it is to be trapped 226 00:10:43,520 --> 00:10:46,400 Speaker 4: where I'm at now, because I was so I was 227 00:10:46,440 --> 00:10:50,440 Speaker 4: struggling so bad, and I remember I went back and forth, 228 00:10:50,480 --> 00:10:54,840 Speaker 4: back and forth for two hours, and I called my 229 00:10:54,920 --> 00:10:57,400 Speaker 4: mom to say goodbye, and it was like three am 230 00:10:57,440 --> 00:10:59,520 Speaker 4: in the morning. So I figured, okay, I can't write 231 00:10:59,520 --> 00:11:01,600 Speaker 4: a note. My hands are shaking to you back. But 232 00:11:01,640 --> 00:11:04,120 Speaker 4: if I call her, at least i'll leave a message. 233 00:11:04,559 --> 00:11:06,360 Speaker 4: She'll know it's not her fault because we've been on 234 00:11:06,400 --> 00:11:08,679 Speaker 4: this journey. And when I was sick, when I as 235 00:11:08,720 --> 00:11:10,880 Speaker 4: a kid, one of the one things I was afraid 236 00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:12,600 Speaker 4: of was not being able to say goodbye to my 237 00:11:12,679 --> 00:11:15,439 Speaker 4: mom when they were telling her to say goodbye to me. 238 00:11:15,960 --> 00:11:18,400 Speaker 3: And so I'm leaving this message. 239 00:11:17,960 --> 00:11:20,200 Speaker 4: For her, and I'm thinking it's like the last call 240 00:11:20,760 --> 00:11:23,880 Speaker 4: of my life. And she picks up the phone on 241 00:11:23,920 --> 00:11:27,199 Speaker 4: the second to last ring and it's three am. Her 242 00:11:27,240 --> 00:11:30,440 Speaker 4: speakers are not like her ringer is off, and she 243 00:11:30,559 --> 00:11:32,839 Speaker 4: happened to get up and she saw her phone was 244 00:11:32,920 --> 00:11:35,920 Speaker 4: ringing and she picked up the phone and I kind 245 00:11:35,920 --> 00:11:38,559 Speaker 4: of paused where I was like, oh no, this was not. 246 00:11:38,880 --> 00:11:39,640 Speaker 3: What I was planning. 247 00:11:39,640 --> 00:11:41,640 Speaker 4: And then I just I broke down and I said 248 00:11:41,640 --> 00:11:43,640 Speaker 4: I was like, I'm not okay, I can't do this anymore. 249 00:11:44,080 --> 00:11:46,320 Speaker 4: And she says, okay, let's talk about it. And she 250 00:11:46,440 --> 00:11:50,160 Speaker 4: was so calm, and she was so gentle with my 251 00:11:50,440 --> 00:11:53,640 Speaker 4: very broken spirit. When I think you think when you're 252 00:11:53,640 --> 00:11:58,360 Speaker 4: breaking down that you're going to be met with, you know, judgment, 253 00:11:58,760 --> 00:12:01,520 Speaker 4: and I was afraid of that. And then all of 254 00:12:01,520 --> 00:12:04,920 Speaker 4: a sudden, she just she answered the phone and she 255 00:12:05,040 --> 00:12:07,240 Speaker 4: met me with love, and she just said the most 256 00:12:07,280 --> 00:12:11,200 Speaker 4: powerful sentence I've heard was it's okay to not be okay. 257 00:12:12,360 --> 00:12:15,120 Speaker 4: And I finally felt seen. I finally felt like I 258 00:12:15,120 --> 00:12:18,200 Speaker 4: could say I'm not okay and I'm afraid and I 259 00:12:18,240 --> 00:12:20,360 Speaker 4: don't know. I don't know where God is, I don't 260 00:12:20,360 --> 00:12:22,320 Speaker 4: know where anything is. I don't even know where I am. 261 00:12:22,480 --> 00:12:24,200 Speaker 4: And so she stayed on the phone with me till 262 00:12:24,200 --> 00:12:27,800 Speaker 4: the sun rise, and then she was and then she 263 00:12:27,960 --> 00:12:28,560 Speaker 4: drove down. 264 00:12:28,840 --> 00:12:30,320 Speaker 3: I lived about three hours away from her. 265 00:12:30,400 --> 00:12:33,720 Speaker 4: She drove down, and we made a plan and she says, okay, 266 00:12:33,800 --> 00:12:36,120 Speaker 4: you know, we prayed together and she said, let's make 267 00:12:36,120 --> 00:12:38,760 Speaker 4: a plan. And that's when I started getting help. And 268 00:12:38,760 --> 00:12:41,400 Speaker 4: that's when I realized I don't have to live in 269 00:12:41,440 --> 00:12:45,040 Speaker 4: this space of constant fear, of anxiety, of depression. 270 00:12:45,160 --> 00:12:47,000 Speaker 3: Like God doesn't want me to be numb. God wants 271 00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:47,600 Speaker 3: me to feel. 272 00:12:48,160 --> 00:12:50,960 Speaker 4: And so I went on this incredible therapy journey and 273 00:12:51,080 --> 00:12:55,920 Speaker 4: learned so much and like addressed my trauma, addressed that, hey, 274 00:12:55,960 --> 00:12:57,480 Speaker 4: you don't have to wake up in a panic all 275 00:12:57,520 --> 00:13:00,200 Speaker 4: the time, and it was crazy because it almost two 276 00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:03,240 Speaker 4: years later, we were on a family trip and I 277 00:13:03,280 --> 00:13:07,079 Speaker 4: had grown so much, and my therapist was like, I 278 00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:08,840 Speaker 4: want you to pay attention to the sunrise. 279 00:13:08,920 --> 00:13:10,280 Speaker 3: I want to go watch the sunrise. 280 00:13:10,880 --> 00:13:13,920 Speaker 4: And I was and sunrises because she knew the story 281 00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:15,760 Speaker 4: of my mom staying with me to sunrise, and I 282 00:13:15,800 --> 00:13:17,080 Speaker 4: remember going up by myself. 283 00:13:17,120 --> 00:13:17,600 Speaker 3: We were on the. 284 00:13:17,559 --> 00:13:20,520 Speaker 4: Beach and I just saw the sunrise for the first 285 00:13:20,520 --> 00:13:24,199 Speaker 4: time and it was such a full circle of everywhere 286 00:13:24,240 --> 00:13:27,079 Speaker 4: everything we had gone through of all of a sudden, Oh, 287 00:13:27,080 --> 00:13:29,720 Speaker 4: I can see the sunrise. Now, I can feel the 288 00:13:29,720 --> 00:13:33,040 Speaker 4: sun on my face. I actually don't have my brain 289 00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:35,600 Speaker 4: darting around a million like I feel happy. And it 290 00:13:35,640 --> 00:13:37,719 Speaker 4: was kind of like the Grinch where he's where his 291 00:13:37,840 --> 00:13:40,240 Speaker 4: heart is laying hearts, like that's how I was. And 292 00:13:40,240 --> 00:13:42,840 Speaker 4: I remember just having this more bla what am I feeling? 293 00:13:42,960 --> 00:13:43,040 Speaker 2: Like? 294 00:13:43,080 --> 00:13:45,439 Speaker 3: I was like, what is this joy? And it was 295 00:13:45,960 --> 00:13:47,760 Speaker 3: it was totally it was just God. 296 00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:49,720 Speaker 4: I felt like it was him kind of saying you 297 00:13:49,760 --> 00:13:50,680 Speaker 4: see what I'm saying. 298 00:13:50,840 --> 00:13:54,240 Speaker 3: And now I think that was a huge moment for me, 299 00:13:54,280 --> 00:13:55,040 Speaker 3: as I said. 300 00:13:54,840 --> 00:13:57,120 Speaker 4: I'm gonna tell everyone else about this, like I'm gonna 301 00:13:57,160 --> 00:14:00,200 Speaker 4: tell people you don't have to stay. We think that 302 00:14:00,760 --> 00:14:03,640 Speaker 4: suffering is our normal. We think that suffering is supposed 303 00:14:03,640 --> 00:14:05,719 Speaker 4: to be a part of life, and yes, there are 304 00:14:05,800 --> 00:14:10,160 Speaker 4: times of suffering, but there is the breakthrough that comes 305 00:14:10,200 --> 00:14:12,960 Speaker 4: after the breakdown. We just get so stuck in that breakdown. 306 00:14:13,080 --> 00:14:15,800 Speaker 4: And so for me, that was the breakdown of all breakdowns. 307 00:14:16,559 --> 00:14:19,520 Speaker 3: But I held God. 308 00:14:19,160 --> 00:14:21,760 Speaker 4: Divinely intervened and my mom picked up the phone, and 309 00:14:21,800 --> 00:14:24,680 Speaker 4: then that was the start of that breakthrough where I 310 00:14:24,720 --> 00:14:27,760 Speaker 4: didn't know it was possible to sit still and be 311 00:14:27,840 --> 00:14:30,400 Speaker 4: still with God, or listen to a song and actually 312 00:14:30,480 --> 00:14:34,880 Speaker 4: worship or feel emotions that are healthy emotions. 313 00:14:35,040 --> 00:14:36,440 Speaker 3: And it was. 314 00:14:36,440 --> 00:14:41,360 Speaker 4: Really just this breakdown of all breakdowns, but also what 315 00:14:41,520 --> 00:14:45,400 Speaker 4: allowed me to say, hey, I'm drowning, and my mom 316 00:14:45,480 --> 00:14:48,120 Speaker 4: jumped in the water and it was like, oh, people 317 00:14:48,120 --> 00:14:50,040 Speaker 4: can jump in the water and help you and help 318 00:14:50,080 --> 00:14:52,320 Speaker 4: you swim, remind you to swim, and remind you that 319 00:14:52,360 --> 00:14:55,720 Speaker 4: there's a shoreline, there's the sun, like, let's keep going. 320 00:14:55,960 --> 00:14:58,800 Speaker 3: And that was really the breakdown moment for me. 321 00:15:00,320 --> 00:15:04,440 Speaker 2: That's beautiful to know that, like something that really could 322 00:15:04,480 --> 00:15:08,760 Speaker 2: have been detrimental, like actually not just life altering, but 323 00:15:08,840 --> 00:15:13,120 Speaker 2: life ending ye ended up being the beginning for you 324 00:15:13,600 --> 00:15:17,560 Speaker 2: of being completely unraveled to a point where you could 325 00:15:17,600 --> 00:15:24,440 Speaker 2: be stitched back together again by the Lord alongside community counselors. 326 00:15:24,920 --> 00:15:27,320 Speaker 2: And I think that's so important for other people to hear, 327 00:15:27,440 --> 00:15:30,800 Speaker 2: because I think the lie is and just how SATAN 328 00:15:30,880 --> 00:15:35,600 Speaker 2: operates and works is in isolation of really convincing us 329 00:15:35,640 --> 00:15:38,520 Speaker 2: that we are alone in this, that nobody can know 330 00:15:38,640 --> 00:15:42,239 Speaker 2: that we're going through these things, that nobody will understand, 331 00:15:42,360 --> 00:15:46,520 Speaker 2: that nobody cares, will be judged, Yes, that you'll be 332 00:15:46,680 --> 00:15:50,440 Speaker 2: judged for dealing with these thoughts or these beliefs about 333 00:15:50,440 --> 00:15:53,560 Speaker 2: yourself or even unbeliefs that you may have. That like, 334 00:15:53,600 --> 00:15:55,720 Speaker 2: the list can go on and on of how we 335 00:15:55,760 --> 00:15:58,280 Speaker 2: can get to this place where it's like we just 336 00:15:58,400 --> 00:16:02,800 Speaker 2: convince ourselves that there is no other option. And as 337 00:16:02,800 --> 00:16:06,640 Speaker 2: someone who has also struggled with mental health and self was, 338 00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:09,600 Speaker 2: you know, self harmed, was suicidal, all those things. For 339 00:16:09,720 --> 00:16:14,000 Speaker 2: me when I was younger, breaking free from that, it 340 00:16:14,040 --> 00:16:17,880 Speaker 2: began with realizing that I'm not alone. Yeah, And it 341 00:16:17,920 --> 00:16:20,520 Speaker 2: wasn't even just I'm not alone in the sense of community, 342 00:16:20,560 --> 00:16:23,560 Speaker 2: because for me, I didn't I didn't have a phone 343 00:16:23,560 --> 00:16:26,120 Speaker 2: call moment where it was like I called somebody and 344 00:16:26,160 --> 00:16:27,280 Speaker 2: they were the person to walk. 345 00:16:27,160 --> 00:16:29,000 Speaker 1: Me through that. For me, it was it was only God. 346 00:16:29,440 --> 00:16:32,560 Speaker 2: Yeah, and I think I think that it's it's beautiful 347 00:16:32,600 --> 00:16:34,800 Speaker 2: and we need to be reminded of that because there 348 00:16:34,800 --> 00:16:38,320 Speaker 2: are Christians who are or even quote unquote Christians who 349 00:16:38,360 --> 00:16:43,040 Speaker 2: are going about their life completely disconnected from the one 350 00:16:43,360 --> 00:16:46,400 Speaker 2: who wants to bring the fullness of breakthrough in their life. 351 00:16:46,600 --> 00:16:50,200 Speaker 2: Like community is important. Your mom being there, that mattered, 352 00:16:50,400 --> 00:16:53,840 Speaker 2: like friends being there, that matters, Having a counselor or 353 00:16:53,880 --> 00:16:56,360 Speaker 2: a therapist or as someone who is a specialist to 354 00:16:56,440 --> 00:17:00,000 Speaker 2: help you actually walk through those things and entangle those 355 00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:06,280 Speaker 2: they matter. But what matters most alongside those things is 356 00:17:06,320 --> 00:17:10,840 Speaker 2: a faith foundation and is having a relationship with God. 357 00:17:11,160 --> 00:17:12,960 Speaker 2: So I would just I want to hear your thoughts 358 00:17:12,960 --> 00:17:15,359 Speaker 2: on that, because you not even talked beforehand of just 359 00:17:15,440 --> 00:17:18,560 Speaker 2: like let's just talk about Jesus and like give glory 360 00:17:18,560 --> 00:17:21,080 Speaker 2: to the Lord, like really, So it's like I would 361 00:17:21,080 --> 00:17:24,800 Speaker 2: just love to hear maybe how how your faith walk 362 00:17:24,840 --> 00:17:28,640 Speaker 2: has how it was in that season before you've kind 363 00:17:28,640 --> 00:17:30,080 Speaker 2: of you kind of talked about it a bit where 364 00:17:30,119 --> 00:17:32,320 Speaker 2: it was like you started talking to God again. But 365 00:17:32,440 --> 00:17:34,639 Speaker 2: like even when you were in the middle of that place, 366 00:17:35,040 --> 00:17:38,080 Speaker 2: where was your relationship with God at or did you 367 00:17:38,119 --> 00:17:40,880 Speaker 2: even have one? And then how did that develop? And 368 00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:44,960 Speaker 2: what in that process of growing closer in your relationship 369 00:17:45,080 --> 00:17:48,280 Speaker 2: with Jesus, how did that change everything? Because that really 370 00:17:48,359 --> 00:17:52,280 Speaker 2: is like the cornerstone. He is the cornerstone of our life, 371 00:17:52,320 --> 00:17:54,119 Speaker 2: including our breakthroughs and healing. 372 00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:57,320 Speaker 4: I mean, that's a great question. I am very happy 373 00:17:57,320 --> 00:18:00,280 Speaker 4: to answer that one. It was something that you know, 374 00:18:00,400 --> 00:18:04,480 Speaker 4: for me, during the times where I was really struggling, 375 00:18:05,200 --> 00:18:08,040 Speaker 4: I didn't know where God was, but I wasn't really 376 00:18:08,080 --> 00:18:10,720 Speaker 4: looking because I was so consumed and like you said, 377 00:18:10,760 --> 00:18:12,639 Speaker 4: Satan will just literally I feel like he puts a 378 00:18:12,680 --> 00:18:15,440 Speaker 4: bag over your head and you can't seem to find 379 00:18:15,480 --> 00:18:16,159 Speaker 4: your way out. 380 00:18:16,200 --> 00:18:18,680 Speaker 3: And so I think in my twenties. 381 00:18:18,240 --> 00:18:20,879 Speaker 4: It really was evolving where I was so busy and 382 00:18:20,920 --> 00:18:22,960 Speaker 4: I wasn't making the time I should have been. 383 00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:24,920 Speaker 3: But I also didn't know there was so. 384 00:18:24,920 --> 00:18:29,360 Speaker 4: Much hurt in my heart and just this distrust of 385 00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:32,680 Speaker 4: this journey and this distrust of why am I still here? 386 00:18:32,760 --> 00:18:35,680 Speaker 3: Why did I get a miracle all these people. 387 00:18:35,359 --> 00:18:39,040 Speaker 4: Did not, Why am I struggling so badly just to 388 00:18:39,080 --> 00:18:41,399 Speaker 4: put one foot in front of the other and being 389 00:18:41,440 --> 00:18:44,640 Speaker 4: this character, but yet someone else is far more deserving. 390 00:18:44,680 --> 00:18:46,159 Speaker 4: So I feel like a lot of it was this 391 00:18:46,880 --> 00:18:50,040 Speaker 4: not realizing, hey, you're here for a reason, and that 392 00:18:50,200 --> 00:18:53,679 Speaker 4: reason is far greater than you could imagine. And so 393 00:18:54,160 --> 00:18:57,520 Speaker 4: but I think when I was really struggling, I kept 394 00:18:57,560 --> 00:18:59,640 Speaker 4: like trying to dip my toes back in. I kept 395 00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:04,280 Speaker 4: trying to open my Bible, I kept trying to seek understanding. 396 00:19:04,600 --> 00:19:07,919 Speaker 3: But I was so I was just so on. The 397 00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:08,639 Speaker 3: waves were. 398 00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:10,560 Speaker 4: Crashing over right, But I still had my anchor, like 399 00:19:10,600 --> 00:19:13,119 Speaker 4: Faith was still my anchor. God was still my anchor. 400 00:19:13,359 --> 00:19:15,639 Speaker 4: But my boat was thrashing around a bit like it was. 401 00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:18,400 Speaker 4: It's kind of you know, it's like. 402 00:19:18,440 --> 00:19:20,240 Speaker 3: The you're on top of the water and then you 403 00:19:20,320 --> 00:19:21,560 Speaker 3: questioned it and you start to sink. 404 00:19:21,640 --> 00:19:23,760 Speaker 4: That was kind of me where I would feel like 405 00:19:23,800 --> 00:19:25,480 Speaker 4: I was coming through and then I would sink. Feel 406 00:19:25,480 --> 00:19:26,720 Speaker 4: like I was coming through, and then I would sink. 407 00:19:26,760 --> 00:19:30,040 Speaker 4: And after that night, when my mom picked up the phone, 408 00:19:30,119 --> 00:19:34,000 Speaker 4: like the way God orchestrated that, the way God orchestrated 409 00:19:34,040 --> 00:19:36,520 Speaker 4: all the people that followed in the community that followed, 410 00:19:36,520 --> 00:19:38,920 Speaker 4: in the support that followed of some people who had 411 00:19:38,920 --> 00:19:41,680 Speaker 4: no idea what was actually going on. I started to 412 00:19:41,720 --> 00:19:44,840 Speaker 4: see his hands in everything when I was handing it over, 413 00:19:45,000 --> 00:19:49,080 Speaker 4: and then I ended up having four really devastating relapses 414 00:19:49,119 --> 00:19:52,919 Speaker 4: of the very same neurological conditions that almost killed me 415 00:19:52,960 --> 00:19:55,439 Speaker 4: as a kid. So I go from that, then I 416 00:19:55,520 --> 00:19:58,520 Speaker 4: have this mental breakdown where I'm ready to just you know, 417 00:19:58,680 --> 00:20:02,160 Speaker 4: jump and end the store to then all these devastating 418 00:20:02,840 --> 00:20:05,240 Speaker 4: relapses each year, I mean there was four in a 419 00:20:05,280 --> 00:20:07,720 Speaker 4: matter of three years, and I saw God's hand in 420 00:20:07,760 --> 00:20:10,240 Speaker 4: every single one of them, and I looked for it 421 00:20:10,280 --> 00:20:12,040 Speaker 4: and I didn't even have to look for it at time, 422 00:20:12,080 --> 00:20:17,280 Speaker 4: and there was this almost relentless understanding of God, take 423 00:20:17,280 --> 00:20:19,000 Speaker 4: the steering wheel, God take the steering wheel, because I 424 00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:21,680 Speaker 4: think I white knuckled my steering wheel for a really 425 00:20:21,720 --> 00:20:24,080 Speaker 4: long time and drove the car off the road, and 426 00:20:24,119 --> 00:20:27,000 Speaker 4: then I finally just kept I would literally sometimes have 427 00:20:27,080 --> 00:20:30,320 Speaker 4: to physically feel like I was handing it over or 428 00:20:30,560 --> 00:20:32,320 Speaker 4: throw it in my hands and just like here you go. 429 00:20:32,359 --> 00:20:33,280 Speaker 3: Because it was like I. 430 00:20:33,320 --> 00:20:37,840 Speaker 4: Was getting there understanding He's not letting me sink. He 431 00:20:37,920 --> 00:20:41,199 Speaker 4: really is the lamp, he is the anchor. He is 432 00:20:41,280 --> 00:20:44,439 Speaker 4: someone that's still showing up. Yes, these are devastating things. 433 00:20:45,080 --> 00:20:47,800 Speaker 4: But I'm not sinking anymore. I'm not falling deep under. 434 00:20:47,840 --> 00:20:49,679 Speaker 4: And yeah, there was moments where it was rocky and 435 00:20:49,720 --> 00:20:52,200 Speaker 4: it was you know, it was challenging, but then he 436 00:20:52,320 --> 00:20:54,399 Speaker 4: kept showing up, so it was almost like, Okay, I 437 00:20:54,400 --> 00:20:55,320 Speaker 4: can keep putting one. 438 00:20:55,280 --> 00:20:56,160 Speaker 3: Foot in front of the other. 439 00:20:56,480 --> 00:20:59,520 Speaker 4: I keep and I started seeing things differently, and then 440 00:20:59,560 --> 00:21:02,800 Speaker 4: I started just understanding that piece that surpasses understanding. I 441 00:21:02,800 --> 00:21:07,520 Speaker 4: started understanding what certain passages meant, what worship music meant, 442 00:21:07,560 --> 00:21:09,160 Speaker 4: like it was all of a sudden, like I could 443 00:21:09,320 --> 00:21:11,320 Speaker 4: hear and see it's real. 444 00:21:11,560 --> 00:21:14,240 Speaker 3: It's a real thing, and it was a real thing. 445 00:21:14,280 --> 00:21:16,880 Speaker 4: And then there were so many times where I could 446 00:21:16,960 --> 00:21:18,919 Speaker 4: just see the view. I could see the ocean, I 447 00:21:18,920 --> 00:21:20,840 Speaker 4: could see the mountains. I could fall to my knees 448 00:21:20,880 --> 00:21:23,000 Speaker 4: and just sing my song or I was so it 449 00:21:23,040 --> 00:21:24,760 Speaker 4: was like these subtle things where it was like I 450 00:21:24,840 --> 00:21:26,600 Speaker 4: was just letting we always my. 451 00:21:26,600 --> 00:21:27,399 Speaker 3: Mom and I used to do it. 452 00:21:27,400 --> 00:21:29,440 Speaker 4: I was like Elsa with my with a cold heart, 453 00:21:29,520 --> 00:21:31,280 Speaker 4: you know, and I was like in my little castle. 454 00:21:31,760 --> 00:21:34,240 Speaker 4: And then it was slowly thawing out, and as it 455 00:21:34,320 --> 00:21:37,119 Speaker 4: was thawing out, it was just like letting more of 456 00:21:37,160 --> 00:21:40,959 Speaker 4: God in that. And that's and I just started to see, oh, 457 00:21:41,000 --> 00:21:42,760 Speaker 4: I'm here for a reason, and or oh okay, I 458 00:21:43,600 --> 00:21:46,320 Speaker 4: that should have broke me and it didn't I and 459 00:21:46,400 --> 00:21:49,280 Speaker 4: I think that's where and then it just became just 460 00:21:49,320 --> 00:21:51,159 Speaker 4: a part of my day to day where I just 461 00:21:51,200 --> 00:21:53,320 Speaker 4: all of a sudden would just look be like, man, 462 00:21:53,359 --> 00:21:55,720 Speaker 4: you're good, you know, or like there are those moments 463 00:21:55,760 --> 00:21:58,480 Speaker 4: where I couldn't understand why I was happy. 464 00:21:58,520 --> 00:21:59,880 Speaker 3: I couldn't understand why. 465 00:22:00,080 --> 00:22:03,879 Speaker 4: Even this past December, I had a devastating relapse and 466 00:22:03,920 --> 00:22:05,760 Speaker 4: there was a lot of chaos going on in my 467 00:22:05,760 --> 00:22:08,200 Speaker 4: life this whole last fall, and I was. 468 00:22:08,119 --> 00:22:09,280 Speaker 3: Really struggling again. 469 00:22:09,840 --> 00:22:11,840 Speaker 4: But by this time I was doing it with God, 470 00:22:12,320 --> 00:22:14,639 Speaker 4: and I found that I still had my anchor, I 471 00:22:14,680 --> 00:22:17,600 Speaker 4: still had my people I could call on, I still 472 00:22:17,640 --> 00:22:19,840 Speaker 4: had my tools, and it was almost like it was 473 00:22:19,880 --> 00:22:23,520 Speaker 4: almost like God, maybe this book my own masterclass of like, hey, I. 474 00:22:23,480 --> 00:22:25,840 Speaker 3: Wrote this with you should probably read what you wrote. 475 00:22:26,240 --> 00:22:28,600 Speaker 4: And then it taught me a whole different level of 476 00:22:28,680 --> 00:22:32,399 Speaker 4: empathy and understanding. But it definitely my faith now is 477 00:22:32,600 --> 00:22:35,639 Speaker 4: very much the sturdy foundation I was building. I was 478 00:22:35,680 --> 00:22:38,520 Speaker 4: building a building on sand and then God washed it away. 479 00:22:38,520 --> 00:22:41,199 Speaker 4: And now I feel like there's a sturdy foundation. But 480 00:22:41,520 --> 00:22:45,000 Speaker 4: foundations are messy to begin with. And that's something where 481 00:22:45,040 --> 00:22:47,400 Speaker 4: it's gonna get messy, it's gonna look like a disaster. 482 00:22:47,880 --> 00:22:50,159 Speaker 4: But just wait and hang in there, and then you 483 00:22:50,240 --> 00:22:51,640 Speaker 4: have this sturdy foundation. 484 00:22:52,600 --> 00:22:52,879 Speaker 1: Well. 485 00:22:52,920 --> 00:22:55,560 Speaker 2: And even with the foundation, it requires work to be 486 00:22:55,640 --> 00:22:58,359 Speaker 2: laid down. Like I don't know if anybody ever went 487 00:22:58,400 --> 00:23:00,320 Speaker 2: on a mission trip to the middle of nowhere like 488 00:23:00,400 --> 00:23:03,880 Speaker 2: me where you are fifteen, mixing concrete. 489 00:23:03,920 --> 00:23:04,719 Speaker 1: In the country. 490 00:23:04,960 --> 00:23:05,160 Speaker 4: Never. 491 00:23:06,920 --> 00:23:09,320 Speaker 1: But it's messy and it requires some work. 492 00:23:09,440 --> 00:23:13,720 Speaker 2: And it's like God is the rock, He is the foundation. 493 00:23:13,960 --> 00:23:15,320 Speaker 2: He does show up. 494 00:23:15,880 --> 00:23:16,520 Speaker 1: But there. 495 00:23:17,119 --> 00:23:21,040 Speaker 2: I love what you said about intentionally looking for God 496 00:23:21,119 --> 00:23:24,719 Speaker 2: in those places, because there is that effort and that 497 00:23:24,800 --> 00:23:28,720 Speaker 2: work on our end to actually look up at Him 498 00:23:29,119 --> 00:23:32,159 Speaker 2: and to seek him and to pursue Him as He 499 00:23:32,200 --> 00:23:36,480 Speaker 2: pursues us. And it's not out of a place of striving, 500 00:23:36,760 --> 00:23:38,280 Speaker 2: and it's not out of a place of well, if 501 00:23:38,320 --> 00:23:40,080 Speaker 2: I do all these good Christian things, then the good 502 00:23:40,280 --> 00:23:42,760 Speaker 2: Christian God will help me with all these things. No, 503 00:23:42,880 --> 00:23:45,200 Speaker 2: but it really is as simple as He is good. 504 00:23:45,600 --> 00:23:48,320 Speaker 2: He is ever present. He wants relationship with us, he 505 00:23:48,400 --> 00:23:53,480 Speaker 2: wants to intervene, but he also allows us the opportunity 506 00:23:53,840 --> 00:23:56,399 Speaker 2: to seek him and to invite him in and to 507 00:23:56,680 --> 00:23:59,959 Speaker 2: trust in him, Like there is that element of surrend, 508 00:24:00,280 --> 00:24:04,080 Speaker 2: like you said, letting go and trusting him to be 509 00:24:04,200 --> 00:24:06,199 Speaker 2: the author of our story, to be the one to 510 00:24:06,240 --> 00:24:09,520 Speaker 2: be our foundation in the valley and at the peak, 511 00:24:09,760 --> 00:24:12,600 Speaker 2: like to actually be the one who who guides and 512 00:24:12,680 --> 00:24:15,560 Speaker 2: directs our steps this foundation, like where does he want 513 00:24:15,640 --> 00:24:19,280 Speaker 2: us to actually go? And so I just love that 514 00:24:19,280 --> 00:24:22,040 Speaker 2: that you even said that, because I think that there 515 00:24:22,040 --> 00:24:24,560 Speaker 2: can be days, especially when we're going through really hard 516 00:24:24,600 --> 00:24:28,480 Speaker 2: seasons or prolonged seasons or I got the miracle and 517 00:24:28,840 --> 00:24:30,760 Speaker 2: now I'm kind of back in this place where it's 518 00:24:30,760 --> 00:24:34,040 Speaker 2: like doubt can creep in, and disappointment can creep in, 519 00:24:34,240 --> 00:24:37,600 Speaker 2: and questions can creep in, all these things that are 520 00:24:37,720 --> 00:24:41,399 Speaker 2: very valid and can be justified by the circumstances that 521 00:24:41,400 --> 00:24:45,400 Speaker 2: we go through in this life. Yet choosing to continue 522 00:24:45,480 --> 00:24:49,160 Speaker 2: to pursue God and it just being solidified over and 523 00:24:49,280 --> 00:24:51,600 Speaker 2: over and over again, Like seeing that in you and 524 00:24:51,640 --> 00:24:55,640 Speaker 2: your story is really powerful, because I think that's hard 525 00:24:55,720 --> 00:24:57,720 Speaker 2: for a lot of people where it's like it's just 526 00:24:57,840 --> 00:25:02,919 Speaker 2: been disappointment after disappointm after struggle after beat down, and 527 00:25:02,960 --> 00:25:06,080 Speaker 2: it's like how do I hope in God. How do 528 00:25:06,119 --> 00:25:09,120 Speaker 2: I take another step forward when it feels like I'm 529 00:25:09,160 --> 00:25:11,119 Speaker 2: just being propelled ten steps back. 530 00:25:11,359 --> 00:25:12,720 Speaker 1: Yeah, I would kind of just love to. 531 00:25:12,800 --> 00:25:15,000 Speaker 2: End even on that question to the person who's in 532 00:25:15,040 --> 00:25:17,800 Speaker 2: that place today where it's like I've seen God move, 533 00:25:18,160 --> 00:25:20,040 Speaker 2: but I'm not seeing him move in this season, or 534 00:25:20,080 --> 00:25:23,320 Speaker 2: i feel like I'm being struck down by yet another disappointment. 535 00:25:23,960 --> 00:25:25,360 Speaker 1: What made the difference for. 536 00:25:25,400 --> 00:25:29,840 Speaker 2: You of just being able to even going through relapses 537 00:25:30,320 --> 00:25:34,400 Speaker 2: to still have an even stronger faith to keep stepping forward. 538 00:25:34,920 --> 00:25:39,200 Speaker 4: I think for me it's quite simple. Find one good 539 00:25:39,280 --> 00:25:42,480 Speaker 4: thing every single day, Like just the fact that you 540 00:25:42,520 --> 00:25:45,480 Speaker 4: woke up today, the fact that you can talk, you can. 541 00:25:45,359 --> 00:25:47,800 Speaker 3: Breathe, you can put your feet on the ground, and. 542 00:25:48,280 --> 00:25:50,720 Speaker 4: Those are one, two, three, four, Like, those are multiple 543 00:25:50,720 --> 00:25:54,120 Speaker 4: things that are gifts from God that we are not guaranteed. 544 00:25:54,320 --> 00:25:56,960 Speaker 4: That is a God thing. God is why you're breathing 545 00:25:57,000 --> 00:26:00,080 Speaker 4: and here. And so that was kind of where I 546 00:26:00,080 --> 00:26:02,080 Speaker 4: had to start. I had to start with just finding 547 00:26:02,119 --> 00:26:04,480 Speaker 4: one good thing. Yes, I woke up and I wanted 548 00:26:04,480 --> 00:26:06,240 Speaker 4: to pull the covers on my head, but I would 549 00:26:06,240 --> 00:26:09,000 Speaker 4: intentionally get put my feet on the ground and say 550 00:26:09,040 --> 00:26:11,199 Speaker 4: thank you to God and put my hands in the 551 00:26:11,240 --> 00:26:13,159 Speaker 4: air and be big and just say it's gonna be 552 00:26:13,160 --> 00:26:15,359 Speaker 4: a great day. God's got this, I've got this, like 553 00:26:15,480 --> 00:26:17,760 Speaker 4: let's go. And then i'd like shake my toush a 554 00:26:17,800 --> 00:26:20,200 Speaker 4: little bit to like just basically like let's shake off 555 00:26:20,200 --> 00:26:21,399 Speaker 4: the bad energy and let's go. 556 00:26:21,560 --> 00:26:24,160 Speaker 3: And it was one of those things that just find 557 00:26:24,200 --> 00:26:27,120 Speaker 3: one good thing. Yes, it's tough, Yes it's. 558 00:26:27,160 --> 00:26:30,720 Speaker 4: Challenging, and that does not negate whatever you might be 559 00:26:30,840 --> 00:26:33,480 Speaker 4: going through. But pay attention to the cup of coffee 560 00:26:33,520 --> 00:26:36,280 Speaker 4: you have, the glass of water you have, the friend 561 00:26:36,359 --> 00:26:39,720 Speaker 4: you can call. Those are little gifts that God along 562 00:26:39,760 --> 00:26:42,520 Speaker 4: the way is showing you, Hey, I'm taking care of you. 563 00:26:42,920 --> 00:26:45,200 Speaker 4: I'm taking care of this. And so it really is 564 00:26:45,440 --> 00:26:47,919 Speaker 4: is simple in that sense where we think we need 565 00:26:47,960 --> 00:26:50,359 Speaker 4: to do all these things, and it's really just find 566 00:26:50,400 --> 00:26:53,119 Speaker 4: one good thing, one good gift that God's given you today, 567 00:26:53,160 --> 00:26:56,560 Speaker 4: and I guarantee you that there's gonna be more than 568 00:26:56,600 --> 00:27:00,560 Speaker 4: one thing you find. But you're changing the channel from 569 00:27:00,600 --> 00:27:02,919 Speaker 4: what the show you've been watching that is defeat and 570 00:27:03,000 --> 00:27:06,520 Speaker 4: sadness and all that stuff to hey, let's like let's 571 00:27:06,600 --> 00:27:09,480 Speaker 4: switch during commercial breaks and see what what else is 572 00:27:09,480 --> 00:27:11,560 Speaker 4: out there. And sometimes I've literally had to pretend I'm 573 00:27:11,560 --> 00:27:16,040 Speaker 4: clicking the remote to just like change the channel of like, okay, 574 00:27:16,040 --> 00:27:19,120 Speaker 4: what's five I challenge myself five good things when I'm 575 00:27:19,119 --> 00:27:21,760 Speaker 4: spinning out, and I'll look at the sun, my water, 576 00:27:21,960 --> 00:27:25,199 Speaker 4: my dog, my office, like all these different things, and 577 00:27:25,240 --> 00:27:28,480 Speaker 4: then you stop that loop, and then you do realize 578 00:27:28,480 --> 00:27:30,800 Speaker 4: along the way. As crazy as it sounds, there's a 579 00:27:30,840 --> 00:27:32,560 Speaker 4: reason I named the book the View is Worth It 580 00:27:32,600 --> 00:27:36,000 Speaker 4: because tough climbs have beautiful views. You just have to 581 00:27:36,520 --> 00:27:39,240 Speaker 4: keep climbing along the way, but don't forget to look up, 582 00:27:39,280 --> 00:27:42,960 Speaker 4: because there's so much beauty that can come from that 583 00:27:43,000 --> 00:27:45,920 Speaker 4: brokenness to you. You just have to focus your attention 584 00:27:45,960 --> 00:27:47,040 Speaker 4: to that. 585 00:27:47,080 --> 00:27:48,240 Speaker 3: That's really what it comes down to you. 586 00:27:48,359 --> 00:27:49,520 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's so good. 587 00:27:49,600 --> 00:27:51,160 Speaker 2: It even makes me think of how in your book 588 00:27:51,160 --> 00:27:53,560 Speaker 2: you talk about like the victim voice and the victory 589 00:27:53,640 --> 00:27:55,400 Speaker 2: voice and everything, and there's so much you talk about 590 00:27:55,400 --> 00:27:55,600 Speaker 2: in the. 591 00:27:55,560 --> 00:27:58,560 Speaker 1: Book that's really good. Cue that we do not have 592 00:27:58,600 --> 00:27:59,520 Speaker 1: time to get through. 593 00:27:59,600 --> 00:28:02,520 Speaker 2: Unfortunate because literally my episodes are like twenty five thirty 594 00:28:02,520 --> 00:28:04,000 Speaker 2: minutes and we're already there. 595 00:28:04,359 --> 00:28:07,040 Speaker 1: But the good news is that your book is literally out. 596 00:28:06,880 --> 00:28:10,320 Speaker 2: Now and people can get it now. So congratulations, First, 597 00:28:10,359 --> 00:28:12,960 Speaker 2: of all, because that's a huge achievement and that's like 598 00:28:13,280 --> 00:28:17,560 Speaker 2: incredible surreal it is we were talking before before we 599 00:28:17,600 --> 00:28:19,800 Speaker 2: even recorded, where it's like you write a book and 600 00:28:19,840 --> 00:28:23,760 Speaker 2: you blink and it's like, what, yeah, I felt like well, 601 00:28:23,760 --> 00:28:27,359 Speaker 2: and especially when when God is the one who called 602 00:28:27,400 --> 00:28:30,080 Speaker 2: you to do it and you're actually partnering with him 603 00:28:30,200 --> 00:28:33,440 Speaker 2: to share a story he allowed you to go through 604 00:28:33,560 --> 00:28:36,240 Speaker 2: and overcome and continually even walk through. 605 00:28:36,760 --> 00:28:37,960 Speaker 1: It's there's just. 606 00:28:37,960 --> 00:28:43,520 Speaker 2: Something so different about that, and I get it, and 607 00:28:43,640 --> 00:28:46,800 Speaker 2: I think that that's what makes this book very powerful 608 00:28:47,160 --> 00:28:48,720 Speaker 2: and needed for a lot of people. 609 00:28:49,160 --> 00:28:50,960 Speaker 1: So where can they get it? Where can they get 610 00:28:51,080 --> 00:28:52,560 Speaker 1: The View is Worth It? 611 00:28:52,760 --> 00:28:55,120 Speaker 4: You can get The View Is Worth It on Amazon, 612 00:28:55,200 --> 00:28:57,080 Speaker 4: you can get at Barnes and Noble, you can get 613 00:28:57,080 --> 00:28:59,479 Speaker 4: it pretty much anywhere books are sold. Or you can 614 00:28:59,520 --> 00:29:02,840 Speaker 4: get it on my website at Victoria Arland dot com. 615 00:29:02,880 --> 00:29:03,360 Speaker 1: Awesome. 616 00:29:03,480 --> 00:29:05,400 Speaker 2: I'll link that down below just to make it easy 617 00:29:05,400 --> 00:29:08,320 Speaker 2: for y'all to scroll click at the kart. 618 00:29:08,440 --> 00:29:09,720 Speaker 1: Get it tomorrow morning on. 619 00:29:09,680 --> 00:29:13,240 Speaker 2: Your doorstuff or maybe even if it might be somewhere 620 00:29:13,240 --> 00:29:14,720 Speaker 2: near you and you can go pick it up today 621 00:29:14,720 --> 00:29:16,680 Speaker 2: and start reading it today or listening today. 622 00:29:16,680 --> 00:29:18,440 Speaker 1: If there's the audio I. 623 00:29:18,360 --> 00:29:21,520 Speaker 4: Did do the audio version too. Yes, it is me serenading. 624 00:29:21,840 --> 00:29:22,040 Speaker 2: You know. 625 00:29:22,160 --> 00:29:24,520 Speaker 3: We didn't have to. We had to rerecord it because 626 00:29:24,520 --> 00:29:25,840 Speaker 3: I had got a really bad side. 627 00:29:25,680 --> 00:29:29,440 Speaker 4: Disinfection and lost my voice. So I sounded like this 628 00:29:30,080 --> 00:29:31,520 Speaker 4: and I was like, oh, we can't. 629 00:29:31,400 --> 00:29:34,000 Speaker 3: Otherwise it just sounded like multiple characters were reading. 630 00:29:34,120 --> 00:29:35,320 Speaker 1: Yeah, sounds like Squidward. 631 00:29:35,520 --> 00:29:39,800 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, that's awesome. Well, y'all could go listen to 632 00:29:39,840 --> 00:29:42,680 Speaker 2: her a re recorded audio book if you want, and 633 00:29:42,760 --> 00:29:43,240 Speaker 2: you can. 634 00:29:43,120 --> 00:29:45,520 Speaker 1: Now know that little bit of information. 635 00:29:46,440 --> 00:29:48,440 Speaker 2: But where can people also keep up with you and 636 00:29:48,480 --> 00:29:49,520 Speaker 2: everything that you're doing. 637 00:29:50,320 --> 00:29:53,920 Speaker 4: I try to keep up with social media, but Instagram, 638 00:29:53,960 --> 00:29:56,920 Speaker 4: I feel like it seems to be my uh where 639 00:29:56,960 --> 00:29:58,840 Speaker 4: I tend to give people glimpses into. 640 00:29:58,600 --> 00:30:02,200 Speaker 3: My life, and where you you can be somewhat entertained. 641 00:30:02,240 --> 00:30:05,600 Speaker 2: Maybe I think you're super entertaining. 642 00:30:05,840 --> 00:30:07,280 Speaker 1: Here's someone that I want to keep up with. 643 00:30:07,360 --> 00:30:09,640 Speaker 4: I'm like, I feel like with this girl, Like I 644 00:30:09,680 --> 00:30:12,000 Speaker 4: was like, we could have a whole hour long conversation. 645 00:30:12,160 --> 00:30:15,320 Speaker 3: So much me too. 646 00:30:15,560 --> 00:30:17,040 Speaker 2: Well, thank you for taking the time to be on 647 00:30:17,120 --> 00:30:21,880 Speaker 2: here and just speaking life into the listeners of today's episode, 648 00:30:21,920 --> 00:30:23,600 Speaker 2: and so all of you who tuned in today. 649 00:30:23,880 --> 00:30:24,840 Speaker 1: I hope that that was the. 650 00:30:24,800 --> 00:30:28,440 Speaker 2: Case, that you do feel encouraged that whatever valley season 651 00:30:28,480 --> 00:30:31,800 Speaker 2: you're going through, whatever mountain you are climbing, that you 652 00:30:31,880 --> 00:30:35,280 Speaker 2: can stop and take in the view. You can't stop 653 00:30:35,320 --> 00:30:38,360 Speaker 2: and smell the roses, even if there's thorns on those roses. 654 00:30:39,240 --> 00:30:42,520 Speaker 2: It's it's really a beautiful place to be when God 655 00:30:42,600 --> 00:30:45,160 Speaker 2: is the one guiding you through it and you allow 656 00:30:45,320 --> 00:30:48,840 Speaker 2: Him to be the author of that season, to be 657 00:30:49,400 --> 00:30:52,040 Speaker 2: the guide on the trail that you are trekking, so 658 00:30:52,120 --> 00:30:52,640 Speaker 2: to speak. 659 00:30:53,280 --> 00:30:54,240 Speaker 1: So go get her book. 660 00:30:54,240 --> 00:30:56,200 Speaker 2: I'll link it down below and I will see you 661 00:30:56,200 --> 00:30:58,520 Speaker 2: guys here next week for another episode on the Bottom 662 00:30:58,520 --> 00:30:59,320 Speaker 2: Beloved Podcast. 663 00:30:59,320 --> 00:31:02,160 Speaker 1: But until then, I love you. Get the book and 664 00:31:02,280 --> 00:31:04,000 Speaker 1: keep on climbing. Hi guys. 665 00:31:05,760 --> 00:31:08,960 Speaker 2: For more life giving, faith based podcasts just like this one, 666 00:31:09,200 --> 00:31:12,280 Speaker 2: check out lifeaudio dot com, a proud partner of The 667 00:31:12,320 --> 00:31:13,680 Speaker 2: Bottan Beloved Podcast