1 00:00:02,680 --> 00:00:14,760 Speaker 1: Life Audio. 2 00:00:14,960 --> 00:00:17,360 Speaker 2: You're listening to every Day Prayers with Million Praying Moms, 3 00:00:17,360 --> 00:00:19,639 Speaker 2: helping you pray God's word for your family in the 4 00:00:19,680 --> 00:00:22,320 Speaker 2: areas you need it most. I'm your host, Nicolette Bell. 5 00:00:22,880 --> 00:00:25,960 Speaker 2: Here we believe prayer isn't a last resort. It's our 6 00:00:26,000 --> 00:00:29,200 Speaker 2: first and best response in parenting, and every day we 7 00:00:29,280 --> 00:00:31,440 Speaker 2: come together to partner with God for the hearts of 8 00:00:31,480 --> 00:00:34,839 Speaker 2: our children. I'm excited today as we continue our Friday 9 00:00:34,840 --> 00:00:38,560 Speaker 2: interview series with author Christy Thomas, who has a brand 10 00:00:38,600 --> 00:00:41,760 Speaker 2: new book out, Everyday Prayers for Gentleness. If you have 11 00:00:41,800 --> 00:00:44,680 Speaker 2: been at all paying attention to anything Million Praying Moms 12 00:00:44,720 --> 00:00:47,559 Speaker 2: this month, you have heard about the book and hopefully 13 00:00:47,560 --> 00:00:49,480 Speaker 2: are reading along with us in our book club. 14 00:00:49,520 --> 00:00:52,040 Speaker 3: It's not too late to join that's happening. 15 00:00:51,720 --> 00:00:55,400 Speaker 2: On Patreon, and we are discussing with Christy on Fridays 16 00:00:55,480 --> 00:00:58,200 Speaker 2: kind of what it looks like to really live a 17 00:00:58,280 --> 00:00:59,960 Speaker 2: life of gentleness. 18 00:00:59,360 --> 00:01:02,160 Speaker 3: In today we're talking specifically, we're going to get. 19 00:01:02,000 --> 00:01:04,920 Speaker 2: Into some practical things like four moms, what does this 20 00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:06,520 Speaker 2: look like for us? We've been hearing about it and 21 00:01:06,520 --> 00:01:09,479 Speaker 2: it sounds great, but how do we actually live it out? 22 00:01:09,880 --> 00:01:10,640 Speaker 3: So we'll do that. 23 00:01:10,720 --> 00:01:13,320 Speaker 2: We'll jump right in right after a quick word from 24 00:01:13,360 --> 00:01:19,440 Speaker 2: our sponsors, Christy, welcome back to the show. 25 00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:22,360 Speaker 3: We're so glad you've joined us today. Thanks for having me. 26 00:01:23,240 --> 00:01:25,400 Speaker 2: So for those that maybe haven't caught on yet, give 27 00:01:25,480 --> 00:01:26,920 Speaker 2: us just a very quick little intro. 28 00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:30,760 Speaker 3: Who you are, ages of your children. Sure, I'm Christy Thomas. 29 00:01:30,800 --> 00:01:35,320 Speaker 4: I'm from Alberta, Canada, and my boys are seventeen, fourteen 30 00:01:35,400 --> 00:01:40,280 Speaker 4: and twelve, yes twelve, and we homeschool them. 31 00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:43,440 Speaker 3: So yeah, it's really cool, awesome. 32 00:01:43,200 --> 00:01:46,479 Speaker 2: Really fun ages and lots of energy at your house, 33 00:01:46,680 --> 00:01:49,520 Speaker 2: I am sure, and kind of anxious for spring. 34 00:01:49,560 --> 00:01:51,040 Speaker 3: I'm thinking probably in Canada. 35 00:01:51,160 --> 00:01:52,240 Speaker 1: Huh. 36 00:01:52,320 --> 00:01:54,080 Speaker 4: Yeah, there's still lots of snow on the ground, but 37 00:01:54,120 --> 00:01:56,680 Speaker 4: this morning was raining, so it's probably going to be 38 00:01:56,880 --> 00:01:58,400 Speaker 4: frozen roads for the next few weeks. 39 00:01:58,400 --> 00:02:00,680 Speaker 2: Well, you know, I'm down here in the deeps, and 40 00:02:00,760 --> 00:02:03,480 Speaker 2: so I had my shorts on earlier in the week. 41 00:02:03,520 --> 00:02:04,440 Speaker 3: I hate to tell you. 42 00:02:05,960 --> 00:02:06,960 Speaker 1: Jealous. 43 00:02:08,560 --> 00:02:12,160 Speaker 2: Well, we've talked about together on Fridays. We've talked about 44 00:02:12,480 --> 00:02:14,800 Speaker 2: what gentleness is and what it isn't, how we often 45 00:02:14,840 --> 00:02:17,799 Speaker 2: misunderstand gentleness, and then last week we talked about how 46 00:02:17,840 --> 00:02:21,320 Speaker 2: our world is longing for gentleness and how we as 47 00:02:21,400 --> 00:02:23,680 Speaker 2: Christians aren't really called to anger. 48 00:02:23,840 --> 00:02:27,600 Speaker 3: We're called to gentleness. And we could have discussed some things. 49 00:02:27,360 --> 00:02:30,640 Speaker 2: Around that and such a great conversation, and today I 50 00:02:30,639 --> 00:02:33,680 Speaker 2: really want to get into what it looks like to 51 00:02:33,680 --> 00:02:37,000 Speaker 2: be gentleness. We've established that gentleness is a fruit of 52 00:02:37,040 --> 00:02:39,240 Speaker 2: the spirit, that we can't come up with it on 53 00:02:39,280 --> 00:02:41,720 Speaker 2: our own, but we do have. There's some action that 54 00:02:41,760 --> 00:02:44,799 Speaker 2: we can take in growing in gentleness, and so we 55 00:02:44,840 --> 00:02:47,160 Speaker 2: want to be actively doing that. I think by this 56 00:02:47,200 --> 00:02:48,720 Speaker 2: point in the month, we can all just kind of 57 00:02:48,720 --> 00:02:50,440 Speaker 2: say we want more gentleness. 58 00:02:50,440 --> 00:02:52,600 Speaker 3: We are longing for it. We know that it's a 59 00:02:52,680 --> 00:02:54,720 Speaker 3: quality of God that we aren't. 60 00:02:54,440 --> 00:02:57,280 Speaker 2: Exempt from, but that we want to have in our 61 00:02:57,280 --> 00:02:58,400 Speaker 2: lives and in our parenting. 62 00:02:58,480 --> 00:02:59,880 Speaker 3: So how do we get that? 63 00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:02,440 Speaker 2: So let's start just talking about, you know, Christy in 64 00:03:02,480 --> 00:03:05,639 Speaker 2: your life, how do you practically seek gentleness? 65 00:03:06,960 --> 00:03:09,440 Speaker 4: I would say for me, I noticed when I was 66 00:03:10,040 --> 00:03:13,600 Speaker 4: a young mom, so probably when my kids were about 67 00:03:13,639 --> 00:03:16,560 Speaker 4: your kids age and a little bit older, that I 68 00:03:16,720 --> 00:03:20,280 Speaker 4: was not gentle and I was angry. And I thought 69 00:03:20,600 --> 00:03:25,840 Speaker 4: I had never been an angry person before, but parenting 70 00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:28,079 Speaker 4: just brings that out in us. I've heard that from 71 00:03:28,080 --> 00:03:29,640 Speaker 4: so many moms who were like I was never an 72 00:03:29,680 --> 00:03:31,839 Speaker 4: angry person, and you never yelled at anybody in my life. 73 00:03:31,880 --> 00:03:33,040 Speaker 3: And something you find. 74 00:03:32,760 --> 00:03:36,840 Speaker 4: Yourself yelling at this helpless a two year old person, 75 00:03:37,720 --> 00:03:39,440 Speaker 4: like what is wrong with me? 76 00:03:39,880 --> 00:03:42,600 Speaker 3: And yet you just can't stop the stuff that's coming 77 00:03:42,600 --> 00:03:45,320 Speaker 3: out of your mouth, and you think this is not okay. 78 00:03:46,280 --> 00:03:50,280 Speaker 4: So I did probably a lot of work around, you know, 79 00:03:50,280 --> 00:03:52,960 Speaker 4: when my kids were of preschool early elementary age, just 80 00:03:53,040 --> 00:03:55,120 Speaker 4: and I didn't even really realize that I was doing 81 00:03:55,160 --> 00:03:58,160 Speaker 4: all this work at the time, but the work was 82 00:03:58,160 --> 00:04:02,120 Speaker 4: internal work, and it was there was at the time. 83 00:04:02,320 --> 00:04:04,520 Speaker 4: There was a Facebook group and it became a book 84 00:04:04,560 --> 00:04:07,480 Speaker 4: and it was called Triggers by Wendy Speak and Amber Lea, 85 00:04:08,160 --> 00:04:10,960 Speaker 4: and so it's become a book that sold probably like 86 00:04:10,960 --> 00:04:14,320 Speaker 4: two hundred thousand copies because so many moms resonated with it, 87 00:04:14,880 --> 00:04:17,400 Speaker 4: and in it, they went day by day they talked 88 00:04:17,440 --> 00:04:19,719 Speaker 4: about a different kind of thing that triggers us as 89 00:04:19,800 --> 00:04:24,240 Speaker 4: moms to anger. And as I went through this this 90 00:04:24,400 --> 00:04:27,400 Speaker 4: Facebook group with them, I realized, Okay, that thing doesn't 91 00:04:27,400 --> 00:04:31,360 Speaker 4: bother me, that thing really makes me angry. And they 92 00:04:31,400 --> 00:04:35,600 Speaker 4: talked about how the very first step is always identifying 93 00:04:35,640 --> 00:04:38,240 Speaker 4: those triggers, those things that are causing us to react 94 00:04:38,400 --> 00:04:42,080 Speaker 4: in ungentleness, because if gentleness is an aspect of self control, 95 00:04:42,360 --> 00:04:44,800 Speaker 4: then the opposite of that is losing control. So I 96 00:04:44,880 --> 00:04:49,320 Speaker 4: had to do a lot of internal work, and I 97 00:04:49,320 --> 00:04:51,480 Speaker 4: didn't realize I was doing all this internal work until 98 00:04:51,520 --> 00:04:53,480 Speaker 4: I looked back a few years later, and I remember 99 00:04:53,520 --> 00:04:55,400 Speaker 4: one of my boys saying to me, Mom, you've grown 100 00:04:55,440 --> 00:04:58,119 Speaker 4: a lot in patience, and I thought, oh, uh, that's 101 00:04:58,279 --> 00:05:02,760 Speaker 4: a good I didn't realize you'd noticed, but it was 102 00:05:02,960 --> 00:05:06,200 Speaker 4: noticeable to my children and how I had changed. 103 00:05:06,200 --> 00:05:08,360 Speaker 3: And patience and gentleness are connected. 104 00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:12,200 Speaker 4: So it was through this Facebook group that Wendy Speak 105 00:05:12,240 --> 00:05:15,320 Speaker 4: and Amber Lea had done and some people listening may 106 00:05:15,360 --> 00:05:18,360 Speaker 4: be familiar with their book. It's called Triggers, and it's 107 00:05:18,400 --> 00:05:26,480 Speaker 4: about exchanging those ungentle reactions for better self control, basically, 108 00:05:26,560 --> 00:05:29,280 Speaker 4: because if gentleness is an aspect of self control, it's 109 00:05:29,320 --> 00:05:31,920 Speaker 4: about withholding our power for the sake of the week. 110 00:05:32,520 --> 00:05:35,479 Speaker 4: And so the opposite of that is when we lose control. 111 00:05:35,520 --> 00:05:38,320 Speaker 4: And that's what we're doing when we're screaming at our 112 00:05:38,360 --> 00:05:40,720 Speaker 4: children and we're like, wow, I can't stop this right now, 113 00:05:40,760 --> 00:05:43,279 Speaker 4: I've lost control. I have no self control, I have 114 00:05:43,360 --> 00:05:47,119 Speaker 4: no gentleness. So as I was going through this group 115 00:05:47,160 --> 00:05:49,960 Speaker 4: and then again through the book later, I noticed some 116 00:05:50,080 --> 00:05:52,240 Speaker 4: things that in me that I was like, oh, that 117 00:05:52,360 --> 00:05:56,000 Speaker 4: really does me angry, and so I had to do 118 00:05:56,040 --> 00:05:59,200 Speaker 4: some work around that. So part of what I worked through, 119 00:05:59,279 --> 00:06:01,719 Speaker 4: and this is late some of what I talk about 120 00:06:01,760 --> 00:06:04,479 Speaker 4: in my Becoming a Slow to Anger Parent class that 121 00:06:04,520 --> 00:06:07,240 Speaker 4: I have on my website. 122 00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:07,640 Speaker 3: And you'll just get it for free here. 123 00:06:08,960 --> 00:06:12,240 Speaker 4: Is first of all, I had to figure out which 124 00:06:12,240 --> 00:06:14,200 Speaker 4: of those things I could kind of design around. Could 125 00:06:14,240 --> 00:06:17,640 Speaker 4: I avoid any of those triggers, those things that were 126 00:06:18,600 --> 00:06:22,280 Speaker 4: making me so angry and so in your life maybe 127 00:06:22,480 --> 00:06:25,159 Speaker 4: so for me. My one of my triggers was being late, 128 00:06:25,640 --> 00:06:28,320 Speaker 4: And actually I'm not even good at being on time, 129 00:06:28,440 --> 00:06:30,960 Speaker 4: so it's weird for me that being late was a trigger. 130 00:06:30,960 --> 00:06:33,120 Speaker 4: But if I was already late and my kids were 131 00:06:33,240 --> 00:06:38,200 Speaker 4: making me later, I lost it and I actually bashed 132 00:06:38,200 --> 00:06:41,640 Speaker 4: into grudge doores because I was so angry that I 133 00:06:41,720 --> 00:06:44,560 Speaker 4: you know, I started backing out before the grudge door 134 00:06:44,680 --> 00:06:45,080 Speaker 4: was opened. 135 00:06:45,200 --> 00:06:47,160 Speaker 3: I had to fix the glad stoor, and I had 136 00:06:47,200 --> 00:06:47,880 Speaker 3: to fix. 137 00:06:48,080 --> 00:06:50,760 Speaker 4: The stupid sin on the top of my van that 138 00:06:50,800 --> 00:06:52,160 Speaker 4: I'm like, I don't even know why it's there, but 139 00:06:52,200 --> 00:06:53,640 Speaker 4: now it's broken and it's going to cost me a 140 00:06:53,680 --> 00:06:54,679 Speaker 4: thousand dollars to fix. 141 00:06:54,960 --> 00:06:58,440 Speaker 3: So my anger and gentleness cost me a lot of money. 142 00:07:00,279 --> 00:07:03,520 Speaker 4: So I had to start noticing that and I so 143 00:07:03,640 --> 00:07:05,520 Speaker 4: that was one of those things I could design around. 144 00:07:05,640 --> 00:07:08,520 Speaker 4: So for me, I had to practice be more on 145 00:07:08,560 --> 00:07:11,720 Speaker 4: time myself and learning actually to be early so that 146 00:07:11,800 --> 00:07:14,920 Speaker 4: when my kids were dawdling or becoming late, it wasn't 147 00:07:14,960 --> 00:07:16,000 Speaker 4: such a big deal. 148 00:07:16,280 --> 00:07:21,480 Speaker 3: Because a window. Yes, I bled into the time. 149 00:07:21,640 --> 00:07:25,120 Speaker 4: Absolutely, and so that enabled me to become a more 150 00:07:25,280 --> 00:07:28,680 Speaker 4: gentle person because I wasn't already kind of on. 151 00:07:28,640 --> 00:07:30,760 Speaker 1: The verge of knowing I'm going to be late already. 152 00:07:31,760 --> 00:07:33,960 Speaker 4: And then there's other things, you know, like kids bickering. 153 00:07:34,160 --> 00:07:38,160 Speaker 4: I don't I really don't like kids arguing. So so 154 00:07:38,200 --> 00:07:41,080 Speaker 4: maybe some people are okay with that and like just 155 00:07:41,160 --> 00:07:43,080 Speaker 4: kind of letting it go, But for me, I'm. 156 00:07:42,880 --> 00:07:44,640 Speaker 1: Like, oh again, I handle it, kickoffhony. 157 00:07:45,600 --> 00:07:47,920 Speaker 4: So that's another trigger for me, and I can't design 158 00:07:47,960 --> 00:07:50,800 Speaker 4: around that. So this is where I really needed to 159 00:07:50,840 --> 00:07:53,200 Speaker 4: pray into these things. If I was in another room, 160 00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:56,600 Speaker 4: I learned that I needed to pray and just say, God, 161 00:07:58,040 --> 00:08:01,160 Speaker 4: give me patience, give me gents. I need to not 162 00:08:01,320 --> 00:08:04,960 Speaker 4: jump into this pre triggered. I need to come into 163 00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:07,880 Speaker 4: this as an adult, as a mature person who can 164 00:08:07,920 --> 00:08:13,360 Speaker 4: help possibly resolve this. And so then when I learned to, 165 00:08:14,280 --> 00:08:17,160 Speaker 4: and this works better if you're not already in the 166 00:08:17,160 --> 00:08:20,360 Speaker 4: same room, because if you're in the same room again, 167 00:08:20,680 --> 00:08:22,000 Speaker 4: there's that little buffer there, right. 168 00:08:22,200 --> 00:08:23,680 Speaker 3: So if I was not in the same room, I 169 00:08:23,680 --> 00:08:24,320 Speaker 3: would pray and I. 170 00:08:24,320 --> 00:08:26,840 Speaker 4: Would say, Oh, God, and I still do this, help me, 171 00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:32,960 Speaker 4: help me to deal with this with wisdom, and then 172 00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:34,600 Speaker 4: I'd be able to go into the next room. And 173 00:08:34,640 --> 00:08:36,800 Speaker 4: what came out of my mouth and the things that 174 00:08:36,880 --> 00:08:40,319 Speaker 4: I did were so different as a result of taking 175 00:08:40,360 --> 00:08:44,200 Speaker 4: this moment and praying and inviting God to work in 176 00:08:44,280 --> 00:08:49,080 Speaker 4: my heart so that I wasn't pre triggered. So becoming 177 00:08:49,160 --> 00:08:53,360 Speaker 4: gentle meant becoming a less angry person. And we talked 178 00:08:53,360 --> 00:08:56,120 Speaker 4: about anger a lot in the last one, because human 179 00:08:56,120 --> 00:08:58,760 Speaker 4: anger does not produce the kind of righteousness that God desires. 180 00:08:59,240 --> 00:09:01,840 Speaker 4: And so I had to I had to learn to 181 00:09:01,920 --> 00:09:04,600 Speaker 4: bring that to God and to work on my own 182 00:09:04,960 --> 00:09:08,320 Speaker 4: stuff so that I could become a more gentle person. 183 00:09:08,400 --> 00:09:11,280 Speaker 4: Because becoming gentle isn't about changing the people around us. 184 00:09:11,679 --> 00:09:15,440 Speaker 4: It's not about creating a desired outcome. It's actually about 185 00:09:15,480 --> 00:09:19,000 Speaker 4: letting go of that desired outcome and trusting that God 186 00:09:19,160 --> 00:09:24,200 Speaker 4: will do what needs to be done through me or 187 00:09:24,240 --> 00:09:28,080 Speaker 4: through the people around me. Sometimes I realized that I 188 00:09:28,160 --> 00:09:30,040 Speaker 4: was as I was writing the book, that I was 189 00:09:30,040 --> 00:09:32,600 Speaker 4: starting to make gentleness sound maybe a little bit like 190 00:09:32,640 --> 00:09:34,120 Speaker 4: if you're gentle, then things are going. 191 00:09:34,040 --> 00:09:36,480 Speaker 3: To get better. But sometimes things don't get better. But 192 00:09:36,559 --> 00:09:38,360 Speaker 3: gentleness is about faithfulness. 193 00:09:38,960 --> 00:09:41,160 Speaker 1: It's not about forcing. 194 00:09:41,960 --> 00:09:44,440 Speaker 4: You know that we're letting that go. We're not about 195 00:09:44,520 --> 00:09:48,800 Speaker 4: forcing certain things to happen or exerting our control over situations. 196 00:09:48,880 --> 00:09:52,600 Speaker 3: Is about withholding that control and letting God be God. 197 00:09:54,360 --> 00:09:56,560 Speaker 2: And realize when we're not. Yeah, that's so good. I 198 00:09:56,559 --> 00:09:58,760 Speaker 2: think it's so interesting you talk about the being late. 199 00:09:58,840 --> 00:10:01,800 Speaker 2: I was reflecting the other day it seems like all 200 00:10:01,840 --> 00:10:05,320 Speaker 2: the time now that we have our baby, because it 201 00:10:05,320 --> 00:10:07,800 Speaker 2: takes me longer to get him fed and get it 202 00:10:07,840 --> 00:10:10,280 Speaker 2: like this morning to do these recordings today, everybody had 203 00:10:10,320 --> 00:10:12,559 Speaker 2: to be out the door and at school and mother's 204 00:10:12,600 --> 00:10:14,440 Speaker 2: morning out and everything for us to be able to 205 00:10:14,440 --> 00:10:16,600 Speaker 2: do this right. And so you know, I had to 206 00:10:16,600 --> 00:10:18,600 Speaker 2: be dressed for the recording. So there's all these things 207 00:10:18,640 --> 00:10:21,959 Speaker 2: happened to happen for this to happen today, And you know, 208 00:10:22,000 --> 00:10:24,079 Speaker 2: I find myself like, Josie, gets your shoes on, Just 209 00:10:24,120 --> 00:10:25,360 Speaker 2: get your shoes on, like come on. 210 00:10:25,280 --> 00:10:26,560 Speaker 3: Like get you We're running late. 211 00:10:26,600 --> 00:10:28,000 Speaker 2: You wanted to sleep in because you didn't go to 212 00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:30,040 Speaker 2: bed early, and you know the the And I'm just like, 213 00:10:30,080 --> 00:10:32,520 Speaker 2: wait a second, like what am I doing? And I 214 00:10:32,600 --> 00:10:36,240 Speaker 2: think also Christie's like, I wonder you know all of 215 00:10:36,280 --> 00:10:40,520 Speaker 2: the statistics that are out right now about anxiety just 216 00:10:40,559 --> 00:10:43,040 Speaker 2: creeping in younger and younger and younger. 217 00:10:42,720 --> 00:10:43,400 Speaker 3: For our children. 218 00:10:44,040 --> 00:10:45,840 Speaker 2: I just like stopped in my tracks the other day 219 00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:47,760 Speaker 2: and I forgot it again this morning. But the other 220 00:10:47,840 --> 00:10:49,440 Speaker 2: day I stopped and I went, oh, my gosh, am 221 00:10:49,480 --> 00:10:53,840 Speaker 2: I creating more anxiety? Because she was like, I'm sorry, MoMA, 222 00:10:53,880 --> 00:10:56,160 Speaker 2: I'm hurrying, you know. And I'm like, oh gosh, like 223 00:10:56,200 --> 00:10:58,360 Speaker 2: why am I putting that on her? 224 00:10:58,760 --> 00:10:58,920 Speaker 4: Right? 225 00:10:59,040 --> 00:11:02,920 Speaker 2: Because I need to get up earlier and get us 226 00:11:02,920 --> 00:11:05,080 Speaker 2: together more, you know. And so that's such a good 227 00:11:05,280 --> 00:11:08,080 Speaker 2: reminder from you. And I didn't think about it in 228 00:11:08,160 --> 00:11:12,080 Speaker 2: terms of gentleness, and so how am I bringing that gentleness? 229 00:11:12,360 --> 00:11:16,079 Speaker 2: So I'm not hery, hery hurry all the time that 230 00:11:16,160 --> 00:11:20,600 Speaker 2: creates that anxiety and our children really without us even realizing. 231 00:11:21,600 --> 00:11:22,079 Speaker 3: Mm hmmm. 232 00:11:22,400 --> 00:11:24,920 Speaker 4: Absolutely. And it's not always our children that are causing 233 00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:26,120 Speaker 4: us to be ungentle as well. 234 00:11:26,160 --> 00:11:28,160 Speaker 3: There's lots of things in our lives that cause us 235 00:11:28,160 --> 00:11:29,520 Speaker 3: to be ungentle. 236 00:11:29,559 --> 00:11:32,960 Speaker 4: So but again, just like we talked about with the triggers, 237 00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:37,320 Speaker 4: gentleness always starts outside those moments. We can't not do 238 00:11:37,480 --> 00:11:40,000 Speaker 4: any internal work and then expect ourselves to be gentle. 239 00:11:40,240 --> 00:11:43,600 Speaker 4: We have to be abiding with Christ outside of those moments, 240 00:11:44,640 --> 00:11:48,040 Speaker 4: growing in him, connecting with God, learning to abide in him, 241 00:11:48,559 --> 00:11:51,080 Speaker 4: and knowing what he says in the. 242 00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:53,960 Speaker 3: Bible about who he is and what he wants to 243 00:11:53,960 --> 00:11:54,680 Speaker 3: do in our lives. 244 00:11:54,720 --> 00:11:58,040 Speaker 4: And then that's gonna, hopefully as we practice it and 245 00:11:58,200 --> 00:12:01,160 Speaker 4: allow God to work in us, seep into our lives. 246 00:12:01,160 --> 00:12:03,719 Speaker 4: So we we're gonna have to learn. So let's say, 247 00:12:03,720 --> 00:12:06,720 Speaker 4: for example, that there is somebody in your life that 248 00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:11,480 Speaker 4: makes you so mad, so angry, and it's not your children. 249 00:12:11,800 --> 00:12:14,400 Speaker 4: It is maybe like an aunt, or maybe you know 250 00:12:14,440 --> 00:12:18,839 Speaker 4: that there's this one really combative person on your social 251 00:12:18,920 --> 00:12:23,280 Speaker 4: media feed that always drives you crazy and always wants. 252 00:12:23,080 --> 00:12:23,920 Speaker 3: To start guide with you. 253 00:12:24,600 --> 00:12:28,160 Speaker 4: Yeah, coworker, Yes, it could be anybody could be your husband, 254 00:12:28,240 --> 00:12:32,080 Speaker 4: like it could be anybody. And so the beginning of 255 00:12:32,120 --> 00:12:35,680 Speaker 4: that is always outside of that situation where we have 256 00:12:35,760 --> 00:12:39,640 Speaker 4: to learn to entrust ourselves to the one who judges justly. 257 00:12:39,760 --> 00:12:42,520 Speaker 4: That says in One Peter two twenty three. It says 258 00:12:42,520 --> 00:12:45,920 Speaker 4: that Jesus continued in trusting himself to the one who 259 00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:50,080 Speaker 4: judges justly. We are trusting God to be God and 260 00:12:50,120 --> 00:12:53,679 Speaker 4: to be the one who is he judges justly all 261 00:12:53,720 --> 00:12:57,120 Speaker 4: the time. And then I think the second step is 262 00:12:57,200 --> 00:13:00,480 Speaker 4: asking God to fill us up with love for that person, 263 00:13:00,640 --> 00:13:02,920 Speaker 4: because we know that there's so much about love in 264 00:13:02,960 --> 00:13:05,400 Speaker 4: the Bible. I know there's another Everyday Prayers book about love. 265 00:13:05,720 --> 00:13:07,840 Speaker 4: We might need that one too in conjunction with this one. 266 00:13:07,840 --> 00:13:10,640 Speaker 4: But first Corinthians says, if I have not love, I 267 00:13:10,679 --> 00:13:11,319 Speaker 4: am nothing. 268 00:13:11,480 --> 00:13:14,920 Speaker 3: And some of these people are so hard to love. 269 00:13:15,400 --> 00:13:19,199 Speaker 3: But when if we just invite God over and over again, God, fill. 270 00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:21,120 Speaker 4: Me with love for this person, help me to see 271 00:13:21,160 --> 00:13:24,719 Speaker 4: them through your eyes, that is going to help us 272 00:13:25,480 --> 00:13:29,200 Speaker 4: be more patient and gentle with them. Another aspect of 273 00:13:29,200 --> 00:13:32,880 Speaker 4: that is asking for humility and respect for this person, 274 00:13:32,960 --> 00:13:35,920 Speaker 4: because I think we lose respect for people when they're 275 00:13:36,440 --> 00:13:40,640 Speaker 4: constantly combative and they're just driving us crazy. But we 276 00:13:40,800 --> 00:13:43,800 Speaker 4: also tend to become a little bit pride, like I 277 00:13:43,840 --> 00:13:46,000 Speaker 4: know I'm right, I'm the right person in this situation. 278 00:13:46,120 --> 00:13:49,160 Speaker 4: Maybe I have the right opinion in this situation. I'm right, 279 00:13:49,280 --> 00:13:53,720 Speaker 4: And so we need to confess that to God because 280 00:13:53,760 --> 00:13:55,640 Speaker 4: we are now supposed to be living in pride. God 281 00:13:55,760 --> 00:13:59,400 Speaker 4: hates the proud. That is something that like, he literally says, 282 00:13:59,400 --> 00:14:02,840 Speaker 4: I hate the proud. I That is not a way 283 00:14:02,880 --> 00:14:04,920 Speaker 4: that he expects us to live. So we need to 284 00:14:05,280 --> 00:14:08,560 Speaker 4: invite God to help us grow in humility. So if 285 00:14:08,559 --> 00:14:12,440 Speaker 4: we're interesting the situation and that person to the God 286 00:14:12,440 --> 00:14:15,800 Speaker 4: who judges justly, and we're asking God to fill us 287 00:14:15,840 --> 00:14:18,400 Speaker 4: up with love for that person, and we're asking for 288 00:14:18,559 --> 00:14:22,400 Speaker 4: huality and respect, I think that's going to go a 289 00:14:22,480 --> 00:14:25,040 Speaker 4: long way toward us learning to be able to be 290 00:14:25,280 --> 00:14:29,720 Speaker 4: gentle toward the people around us, that even the people 291 00:14:29,760 --> 00:14:31,720 Speaker 4: that we don't really like, because we all have to 292 00:14:32,040 --> 00:14:34,400 Speaker 4: like that, you know what. I was listening to a 293 00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:36,480 Speaker 4: book the other day and it was a fiction book, 294 00:14:36,480 --> 00:14:41,000 Speaker 4: but it was talking about how if you put people 295 00:14:41,120 --> 00:14:44,880 Speaker 4: humans together in a confined space for more than a 296 00:14:44,880 --> 00:14:47,880 Speaker 4: few months, sty'll actually like kill each other because even 297 00:14:47,920 --> 00:14:51,120 Speaker 4: if they are, there's just always going to be people 298 00:14:51,720 --> 00:14:56,000 Speaker 4: who drive you crazy because we're human beings with and 299 00:14:56,040 --> 00:14:56,800 Speaker 4: we're very flawed. 300 00:14:57,560 --> 00:15:01,080 Speaker 2: M Yeah, what I love about of I'm picking up 301 00:15:01,080 --> 00:15:03,720 Speaker 2: on some of the things that you're talking through today 302 00:15:03,720 --> 00:15:05,440 Speaker 2: and then what we've talked in in the past couple 303 00:15:05,480 --> 00:15:07,520 Speaker 2: of weeks. I think it's so interesting when we think 304 00:15:07,560 --> 00:15:10,720 Speaker 2: about the fruit of the spirit, how interconnected they are, right, 305 00:15:10,800 --> 00:15:13,400 Speaker 2: and you're talking about love and patience and all of 306 00:15:13,400 --> 00:15:17,080 Speaker 2: these things that kind of come together. And I heard 307 00:15:17,160 --> 00:15:20,280 Speaker 2: a pastor a while back talk about really how it's 308 00:15:20,360 --> 00:15:23,400 Speaker 2: the fruit of the spirit, not the fruits of the spirit, 309 00:15:23,440 --> 00:15:26,960 Speaker 2: and really how they are all connected and together, and 310 00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:28,760 Speaker 2: we kind of bear them all as one, or we 311 00:15:28,840 --> 00:15:30,640 Speaker 2: kind of like, don't bear them all as one. 312 00:15:30,720 --> 00:15:33,600 Speaker 3: Right, It's like this, they're all connected to each other. 313 00:15:33,680 --> 00:15:36,800 Speaker 2: So when we show gentleness, we're showing love, we're showing joy, 314 00:15:36,880 --> 00:15:39,680 Speaker 2: we're showing peace, we're showing patience. It's this kind of 315 00:15:39,720 --> 00:15:43,360 Speaker 2: outflow of them all working together to show the picture 316 00:15:43,440 --> 00:15:48,360 Speaker 2: of Christ and his spirit and his connectedness to these 317 00:15:48,360 --> 00:15:51,920 Speaker 2: things that we are to live out as believers. And 318 00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:54,720 Speaker 2: so you know, we don't get a pass from gentleness 319 00:15:54,760 --> 00:15:56,960 Speaker 2: just because we don't like somebody like you said, right, 320 00:15:57,200 --> 00:15:59,080 Speaker 2: And so it's all of these things that are coming 321 00:15:59,080 --> 00:16:01,960 Speaker 2: together and be as fruit as we abide. 322 00:16:02,040 --> 00:16:02,200 Speaker 3: Right. 323 00:16:02,240 --> 00:16:04,400 Speaker 2: That's the key, is that abiding and that internal work 324 00:16:04,400 --> 00:16:08,080 Speaker 2: that you're talking about is all about abiding, and your 325 00:16:08,120 --> 00:16:11,240 Speaker 2: devotional everyday prayers for gentleness helps us to abide in 326 00:16:11,280 --> 00:16:14,720 Speaker 2: there there's scripture, there's a commentary on the scripture, and 327 00:16:14,760 --> 00:16:17,640 Speaker 2: then there's prayers and things to think through and questions 328 00:16:17,640 --> 00:16:21,080 Speaker 2: for reflection, and it's part of that inner work. And 329 00:16:21,120 --> 00:16:23,520 Speaker 2: it's been so convicting to me to read through it, 330 00:16:23,560 --> 00:16:25,280 Speaker 2: and I know and encouraging. 331 00:16:25,360 --> 00:16:26,800 Speaker 3: Convicting and encouraging. Right. 332 00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:29,200 Speaker 2: So we don't just want to be convicting, right, but 333 00:16:29,240 --> 00:16:30,800 Speaker 2: we do want to listen to the Spirit in the 334 00:16:30,840 --> 00:16:33,120 Speaker 2: ways that he wants to move and grow us. But 335 00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:35,960 Speaker 2: then we are hoping, we hear in million praying moms, 336 00:16:35,960 --> 00:16:39,840 Speaker 2: hope you are encouraged to walk with Christ more and 337 00:16:39,880 --> 00:16:42,440 Speaker 2: to become more like him. So, Christy, we just appreciate 338 00:16:42,880 --> 00:16:45,680 Speaker 2: you leading us out in this and giving us some 339 00:16:45,920 --> 00:16:48,120 Speaker 2: examples in your own life of what that looks like 340 00:16:49,040 --> 00:16:51,960 Speaker 2: and how we might can see that on growth in 341 00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:55,040 Speaker 2: our lives as well. I'm going to pray for us, 342 00:16:55,120 --> 00:16:59,360 Speaker 2: and then we will wrap up today. Jesus, we are 343 00:16:59,400 --> 00:17:02,120 Speaker 2: so grateful for all the ways that you meet us. Lord, 344 00:17:02,160 --> 00:17:05,680 Speaker 2: we pray that you would help us to grow in gentleness. 345 00:17:05,760 --> 00:17:07,200 Speaker 3: Show us what does that. 346 00:17:07,119 --> 00:17:08,200 Speaker 1: Look like in our lives? 347 00:17:08,440 --> 00:17:10,880 Speaker 2: What are the areas in our life that we are 348 00:17:11,080 --> 00:17:13,639 Speaker 2: not showing gentleness? And how do you want us to 349 00:17:13,680 --> 00:17:16,119 Speaker 2: grow and become more like you? 350 00:17:16,280 --> 00:17:17,600 Speaker 1: We need your help. 351 00:17:18,040 --> 00:17:20,520 Speaker 2: We can't do it in our own, but we're thankful 352 00:17:20,560 --> 00:17:23,000 Speaker 2: that you tell us that your Holy Spirit is our helper. 353 00:17:23,720 --> 00:17:25,560 Speaker 2: You've given us the help that we need, and so 354 00:17:25,680 --> 00:17:28,440 Speaker 2: we want to abide in you and to trust in 355 00:17:28,480 --> 00:17:31,919 Speaker 2: you today so that we can become more like you, 356 00:17:32,560 --> 00:17:35,280 Speaker 2: so that the world around us can see you and 357 00:17:35,400 --> 00:17:39,600 Speaker 2: know you, and our children can experience gentleness that you 358 00:17:39,880 --> 00:17:43,480 Speaker 2: have shown us lived out in our lives and interactions 359 00:17:43,520 --> 00:17:44,200 Speaker 2: with them. 360 00:17:44,640 --> 00:17:46,400 Speaker 3: It's in your name, Jesus that we pray. 361 00:17:46,640 --> 00:17:46,960 Speaker 1: Amen. 362 00:17:48,320 --> 00:17:50,679 Speaker 5: Are you a visual learner? 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Not only 365 00:17:57,840 --> 00:18:01,119 Speaker 5: will you receive the transcripts of each podcast devotional, you 366 00:18:01,119 --> 00:18:04,680 Speaker 5: will also receive a monthly prayer calendar and surprise bonus content. 367 00:18:05,280 --> 00:18:06,920 Speaker 1: Learn more about our Praying Mom. 368 00:18:06,720 --> 00:18:12,120 Speaker 5: Community in today's show Notes or at millionprayingmoms dot com. 369 00:18:12,320 --> 00:18:14,760 Speaker 5: Till next time, friends, the Lord bless. 370 00:18:14,480 --> 00:18:15,399 Speaker 1: You and keep you. 371 00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:17,760 Speaker 5: Make his face shine upon. 372 00:18:17,600 --> 00:18:19,960 Speaker 2: You, and be gracious to you. 373 00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:22,760 Speaker 5: May the Lord look with favor on you and give 374 00:18:22,800 --> 00:18:23,520 Speaker 5: you peace.