1 00:00:20,156 --> 00:00:23,236 Speaker 1: Hi friend, I'm so glad you're here today. Let's learn 2 00:00:23,276 --> 00:00:26,916 Speaker 1: how to raise our kids to love God, respect authority, 3 00:00:27,196 --> 00:00:31,036 Speaker 1: and do what's right. Let's scroll less and live more. 4 00:00:31,356 --> 00:00:38,356 Speaker 1: I'm Arlene Pelicane and this is the Happy Home. Well, 5 00:00:38,436 --> 00:00:40,196 Speaker 1: it is so wonderful to have you back on the 6 00:00:40,275 --> 00:00:44,636 Speaker 1: Happy Home podcast. Max. Now, you basically don't need an introduction. 7 00:00:44,796 --> 00:00:48,915 Speaker 1: You are America's best selling inspirational author with over one 8 00:00:48,995 --> 00:00:52,996 Speaker 1: hundred and fifty million copies in print. You are currently 9 00:00:53,036 --> 00:00:56,636 Speaker 1: serving as a teaching pastor at Oak Hills Church in 10 00:00:56,676 --> 00:01:00,515 Speaker 1: San Antonio, and you have this new book, Tame Your Thoughts. 11 00:01:01,036 --> 00:01:04,356 Speaker 1: Three Tools to renew your mind and to transform your life. 12 00:01:04,396 --> 00:01:07,235 Speaker 1: Congratulations on this. And as I was preparing, I thought, 13 00:01:07,276 --> 00:01:09,595 Speaker 1: by myself, people are going to be like, you know what, Max, 14 00:01:09,636 --> 00:01:12,196 Speaker 1: you don't need this book your thoughts. I mean, you're 15 00:01:12,236 --> 00:01:14,596 Speaker 1: a pastor. Look at how many books you've written your 16 00:01:14,596 --> 00:01:19,316 Speaker 1: thoughts must be amazing. How has writing this book, you know, 17 00:01:19,436 --> 00:01:21,716 Speaker 1: personally helped you with your thoughts? 18 00:01:22,036 --> 00:01:24,716 Speaker 2: Well, thank you, thanks so much for letting me be 19 00:01:24,836 --> 00:01:28,916 Speaker 2: on the podcast today. It's it's a terrific joy and 20 00:01:28,916 --> 00:01:33,036 Speaker 2: and it's great to great to see you again. Yeah, 21 00:01:33,075 --> 00:01:39,796 Speaker 2: I loved writing this book. I I, as a pastor, 22 00:01:40,356 --> 00:01:43,396 Speaker 2: have a lot of conversations with people, and it seems 23 00:01:43,435 --> 00:01:46,476 Speaker 2: to me all of them and I don't think that's 24 00:01:46,515 --> 00:01:50,356 Speaker 2: an overstatement. All of them come from just these negative 25 00:01:50,396 --> 00:01:54,156 Speaker 2: thought patterns surface. And I don't have to look very 26 00:01:54,156 --> 00:01:57,796 Speaker 2: far to know what a thought pattern, a negative thought 27 00:01:57,796 --> 00:02:00,036 Speaker 2: pattern can be, because I have my own, you know, 28 00:02:00,116 --> 00:02:05,356 Speaker 2: I have my own uh different uh negative spirals that 29 00:02:05,436 --> 00:02:09,555 Speaker 2: can create havoc in our lives. And so I wrote 30 00:02:09,596 --> 00:02:13,916 Speaker 2: this book hoping to connect with people in a practical 31 00:02:14,036 --> 00:02:18,116 Speaker 2: way of how God will help us. He'll help us 32 00:02:18,276 --> 00:02:20,996 Speaker 2: change the way we think. You know, just just because 33 00:02:21,036 --> 00:02:24,716 Speaker 2: you're anxious today doesn't mean you'll be anxious forever. Just 34 00:02:24,756 --> 00:02:27,596 Speaker 2: because you battle with racism today doesn't mean you have 35 00:02:27,636 --> 00:02:31,916 Speaker 2: to battle with it forever. Just because you feel terribly insecure, 36 00:02:32,276 --> 00:02:36,396 Speaker 2: there's a God centered security that awaits you. It's a 37 00:02:36,476 --> 00:02:40,156 Speaker 2: beautiful promise that not only does God save our souls, 38 00:02:40,436 --> 00:02:44,036 Speaker 2: but he helps us change our minds, change our way 39 00:02:44,076 --> 00:02:48,876 Speaker 2: of thinking. And so I'm super excited about this, loved 40 00:02:48,916 --> 00:02:52,036 Speaker 2: researching it, and I pray it's a great help for people. 41 00:02:52,196 --> 00:02:54,876 Speaker 1: Yeah, you have three tools in it, so we might 42 00:02:54,916 --> 00:02:57,436 Speaker 1: not get to all three, So sweet listeners. You're going 43 00:02:57,516 --> 00:02:59,156 Speaker 1: to need to get the book to get all of them. 44 00:02:59,156 --> 00:03:02,435 Speaker 1: But we'll start with tool number one, which is practice 45 00:03:02,956 --> 00:03:06,236 Speaker 1: picky thinking. You know, and I think about my kids 46 00:03:06,276 --> 00:03:08,916 Speaker 1: and everyone's kids, right, they're anything that's green they don't 47 00:03:08,956 --> 00:03:09,476 Speaker 1: want to touch. 48 00:03:09,636 --> 00:03:09,836 Speaker 2: You know. 49 00:03:09,956 --> 00:03:12,316 Speaker 1: We served them this green smoothie in the morning and 50 00:03:12,356 --> 00:03:14,796 Speaker 1: it was like, okay, yeah, you have to drink. That's 51 00:03:14,876 --> 00:03:17,596 Speaker 1: like your entrance to the rest of the day. You 52 00:03:17,716 --> 00:03:20,716 Speaker 1: have to get this Ian smoothi in. So, you know, 53 00:03:20,835 --> 00:03:26,315 Speaker 1: sometimes we have to overcome things. But picky thinking you include, 54 00:03:26,555 --> 00:03:28,675 Speaker 1: you know, a lot of scripture in the book, because 55 00:03:28,675 --> 00:03:31,356 Speaker 1: that is obviously a huge way to change our thinkings. 56 00:03:31,596 --> 00:03:38,396 Speaker 1: Cent Corinthians ten five. We smash warped philosophies, tearing down strongholds, 57 00:03:38,436 --> 00:03:43,156 Speaker 1: tearing down barriers erected against the truth of God. This 58 00:03:43,236 --> 00:03:45,836 Speaker 1: is not passive talk about how this is not just 59 00:03:45,836 --> 00:03:47,396 Speaker 1: like I hope this works out for me. 60 00:03:48,636 --> 00:03:53,036 Speaker 2: It's a statement of discipleship that today my primary task 61 00:03:53,196 --> 00:03:56,396 Speaker 2: is to manage the thoughts that come my way. The 62 00:03:56,436 --> 00:04:00,716 Speaker 2: subtitle of practice picky thinking would be something like, just 63 00:04:00,756 --> 00:04:03,516 Speaker 2: because you have a thought, that doesn't mean you have 64 00:04:03,596 --> 00:04:06,476 Speaker 2: to think it. In other words, just because a notion 65 00:04:06,716 --> 00:04:10,396 Speaker 2: comes into your mind, that doesn't mean it's worth your time. 66 00:04:10,716 --> 00:04:13,876 Speaker 2: It doesn't mean it's worth the effort. And so much 67 00:04:13,916 --> 00:04:17,676 Speaker 2: of our days could be improved if we stood guard 68 00:04:17,876 --> 00:04:22,356 Speaker 2: over our minds, take every thought captive. And a Greek 69 00:04:22,476 --> 00:04:26,116 Speaker 2: scholar pointed out in one of his books that this 70 00:04:26,276 --> 00:04:30,836 Speaker 2: phrase is used elsewhere to describe pointing a spear in 71 00:04:30,916 --> 00:04:35,036 Speaker 2: the back of a prisoner. It's like you're pointing a 72 00:04:35,076 --> 00:04:37,515 Speaker 2: spear in the spine of that negative thought or that 73 00:04:37,636 --> 00:04:41,036 Speaker 2: anxious thought, and you're marching it into the presence of 74 00:04:41,116 --> 00:04:44,636 Speaker 2: Christ and essentially saying, Christ, am I supposed to dwell 75 00:04:44,676 --> 00:04:47,716 Speaker 2: on this thought today. Now this is a new idea 76 00:04:47,876 --> 00:04:52,315 Speaker 2: for many people. They've not considered the fact that thought vigilance, 77 00:04:53,076 --> 00:04:57,036 Speaker 2: thought maintenance is an important part of our lives. But 78 00:04:57,076 --> 00:04:59,835 Speaker 2: I would say it's an essential part of our lives. 79 00:05:00,876 --> 00:05:05,156 Speaker 2: And the reason we find ourselves in the spirals of 80 00:05:05,236 --> 00:05:10,676 Speaker 2: either anxiety or anger, or guilt or lust, it is 81 00:05:10,716 --> 00:05:14,195 Speaker 2: because somewhere upstream we fail to say, wait a second, 82 00:05:14,236 --> 00:05:17,116 Speaker 2: I'm not thinking that today, No, sir, I'm going to 83 00:05:17,156 --> 00:05:20,076 Speaker 2: take it, take an initiative and block that thought. So 84 00:05:20,276 --> 00:05:23,676 Speaker 2: that's really the first tool Arlene, you're right, and that 85 00:05:23,836 --> 00:05:27,395 Speaker 2: is practice picky thinking. And you mentioned young people, so 86 00:05:27,476 --> 00:05:30,036 Speaker 2: let me add just right quick, yeah, this is especially 87 00:05:30,036 --> 00:05:33,556 Speaker 2: appropriate to young people. And we parents can help our 88 00:05:33,636 --> 00:05:37,116 Speaker 2: kids here. You know, when I was growing up, I 89 00:05:37,156 --> 00:05:40,596 Speaker 2: would come home from school and be able to disengage 90 00:05:41,356 --> 00:05:44,156 Speaker 2: from everything that happened during the day. I could jump 91 00:05:44,195 --> 00:05:46,635 Speaker 2: on my bike, or I could go play baseball. Didn't 92 00:05:46,676 --> 00:05:49,356 Speaker 2: even think about the other fifth graders or third graders 93 00:05:49,436 --> 00:05:53,195 Speaker 2: or seventh graders. But the poor kids today come home 94 00:05:53,276 --> 00:05:58,195 Speaker 2: and because of social media, they're always getting messages, text 95 00:05:58,236 --> 00:06:03,356 Speaker 2: messages or internet stuff and it's hard for them. And 96 00:06:03,396 --> 00:06:07,156 Speaker 2: so we can help them. We can help them, and parents, 97 00:06:07,156 --> 00:06:10,755 Speaker 2: I'll be praying for you. That's tough, but take the 98 00:06:10,796 --> 00:06:14,835 Speaker 2: initiative and help them learn to take those thoughts captive. 99 00:06:15,396 --> 00:06:17,676 Speaker 1: So good. I really like that idea of when you 100 00:06:17,716 --> 00:06:21,356 Speaker 1: have that bad thought, that negative thought, the spear is 101 00:06:21,396 --> 00:06:24,236 Speaker 1: in the back and it's like move on, just there's 102 00:06:24,436 --> 00:06:28,075 Speaker 1: there's nothing to see here, just keep moving. I want 103 00:06:28,116 --> 00:06:30,075 Speaker 1: to go back to that the kid piece. You know 104 00:06:30,195 --> 00:06:32,436 Speaker 1: you wrote in the book how you know you know 105 00:06:32,476 --> 00:06:35,395 Speaker 1: people know you now and and we think, wow, Max 106 00:06:35,476 --> 00:06:38,156 Speaker 1: is on top of the world, right you know, it's like, 107 00:06:38,236 --> 00:06:40,276 Speaker 1: we all love you from the books that we've written her, 108 00:06:40,516 --> 00:06:43,796 Speaker 1: maybe we've watched Hermie, you know the video here, It's 109 00:06:43,916 --> 00:06:47,196 Speaker 1: like that's for me. We we love Max, and so 110 00:06:47,956 --> 00:06:51,796 Speaker 1: take us back James, the real popular kid and the 111 00:06:51,796 --> 00:06:52,996 Speaker 1: way he made you feel. 112 00:06:53,596 --> 00:06:56,236 Speaker 2: And and we've all been there, haven't. Yeah, you know, 113 00:06:56,396 --> 00:06:59,236 Speaker 2: James was the most popular kid in our class and 114 00:07:00,436 --> 00:07:03,236 Speaker 2: telling the book the grade right now, I'm forgetting I 115 00:07:03,276 --> 00:07:06,436 Speaker 2: think it was fifth grade or fourth grade anyways, in 116 00:07:06,476 --> 00:07:10,356 Speaker 2: elementary school. And he was everything I was not. I mean, 117 00:07:10,396 --> 00:07:13,596 Speaker 2: he really was a cool guy. He just had a 118 00:07:13,636 --> 00:07:17,396 Speaker 2: great personality. He had, really he was really good looks. 119 00:07:17,436 --> 00:07:20,636 Speaker 2: He had very weighty hair, and he had these fancy 120 00:07:20,676 --> 00:07:23,236 Speaker 2: I don't know why I remember his running shoes, but 121 00:07:23,276 --> 00:07:27,876 Speaker 2: the Puma Puma running shoes that my parents I don't 122 00:07:27,876 --> 00:07:29,996 Speaker 2: think they could afford him first, but then they never 123 00:07:30,036 --> 00:07:32,516 Speaker 2: would have allowed me to get them. And so he 124 00:07:32,676 --> 00:07:37,356 Speaker 2: was everything I wasn't. And I can recall my first 125 00:07:37,916 --> 00:07:42,596 Speaker 2: memories of really dealing with poor self esteem, uh self 126 00:07:42,676 --> 00:07:47,116 Speaker 2: pity were as a result of wasn't James's fault, mind you, 127 00:07:47,836 --> 00:07:51,516 Speaker 2: It was that I didn't know how to tell myself, Hey, Max, 128 00:07:51,556 --> 00:07:54,596 Speaker 2: come on, that's not You don't need to beat yourself up, 129 00:07:54,676 --> 00:07:57,676 Speaker 2: you don't need to feel insecure. But I can recall 130 00:07:57,836 --> 00:08:00,756 Speaker 2: just feeling so lonely, kind of on the outside of 131 00:08:00,796 --> 00:08:04,036 Speaker 2: the circle looking in, because James had all the friends 132 00:08:04,516 --> 00:08:06,916 Speaker 2: and Max had none, and I would deal with it 133 00:08:06,956 --> 00:08:10,756 Speaker 2: with self pity. Oh poor me. I just don't wear 134 00:08:10,836 --> 00:08:14,236 Speaker 2: families too simple. My life is too simple. You know. 135 00:08:14,556 --> 00:08:19,636 Speaker 2: I allowed those toxic thoughts to to come in. Again, 136 00:08:19,676 --> 00:08:22,476 Speaker 2: I was ten years old. In some ways, that's a 137 00:08:22,476 --> 00:08:25,756 Speaker 2: bit more permissible. As we get older, we need to 138 00:08:25,796 --> 00:08:29,035 Speaker 2: recognize that those thoughts are not from our heavenly father, 139 00:08:29,596 --> 00:08:33,036 Speaker 2: and we have to take initiative. And that's why these 140 00:08:33,076 --> 00:08:37,956 Speaker 2: tools like practice picky thinking are so so essential. You know, 141 00:08:38,716 --> 00:08:41,196 Speaker 2: in that case, it would have been good for me 142 00:08:41,276 --> 00:08:43,636 Speaker 2: to say, Okay, Max, come on, snap out of it. 143 00:08:43,836 --> 00:08:46,035 Speaker 2: I'm not going to have that thought. Look at you. 144 00:08:46,036 --> 00:08:48,596 Speaker 2: You have good health, you've got good parents. You've got 145 00:08:49,076 --> 00:08:51,436 Speaker 2: a big brother who picks on you, but he's all right. 146 00:08:51,476 --> 00:08:53,996 Speaker 2: You know, I could easily. 147 00:08:53,596 --> 00:08:56,316 Speaker 1: Dealt with a Look at everybody else's shoes. They all 148 00:08:56,356 --> 00:08:56,836 Speaker 1: don't have. 149 00:08:56,796 --> 00:08:58,236 Speaker 2: Pooma shoes, you know. 150 00:08:58,356 --> 00:09:01,756 Speaker 1: The only one he was Maybe he's the weird one. 151 00:09:02,516 --> 00:09:07,636 Speaker 1: Maybe he feels dumb about his Puma shoes. You know, 152 00:09:08,676 --> 00:09:12,196 Speaker 1: going back to this staying with this practicing picky thinking. 153 00:09:12,716 --> 00:09:16,916 Speaker 1: You know, it's monitoring your default thoughts. You really talking, 154 00:09:17,156 --> 00:09:20,596 Speaker 1: And I really like that because the default now, it 155 00:09:20,756 --> 00:09:23,836 Speaker 1: used to be where we'd have these pockets of quiet 156 00:09:23,876 --> 00:09:26,916 Speaker 1: in our life, right going from point A to point B, 157 00:09:27,036 --> 00:09:29,196 Speaker 1: standing in line at a store, sitting in our car 158 00:09:29,356 --> 00:09:32,196 Speaker 1: at a red light. We have these quiet moments. But 159 00:09:32,276 --> 00:09:35,716 Speaker 1: now we're filling all the moments with our social media, 160 00:09:35,716 --> 00:09:38,356 Speaker 1: with our news feed, with entertainment, Like we cannot be 161 00:09:38,436 --> 00:09:42,716 Speaker 1: alone with our thoughts. And so how can we monitor 162 00:09:43,036 --> 00:09:45,796 Speaker 1: the monitor these default thoughts when we don't even have 163 00:09:45,916 --> 00:09:49,356 Speaker 1: you know, we're just letting any thought in. Right, So 164 00:09:49,476 --> 00:09:52,876 Speaker 1: if untruth is fentanyl, you write in the book Satan 165 00:09:53,076 --> 00:09:55,916 Speaker 1: is the Dealer, just talk a little bit about how 166 00:09:56,036 --> 00:10:00,076 Speaker 1: Satan really delights and just pushing all this this garbage 167 00:10:00,076 --> 00:10:02,876 Speaker 1: into our minds and and wow, with our phones, we're 168 00:10:02,876 --> 00:10:03,796 Speaker 1: not even resisting. 169 00:10:03,876 --> 00:10:07,196 Speaker 2: It seems he's done that since the get goal. You know, yeah, 170 00:10:07,236 --> 00:10:12,516 Speaker 2: it's his first. His first attempt to lure Adam and 171 00:10:12,596 --> 00:10:16,636 Speaker 2: Eve away from from God was to tell Eva lie. 172 00:10:17,516 --> 00:10:21,556 Speaker 2: He just deposited a thought in her mind. That's what 173 00:10:21,636 --> 00:10:25,076 Speaker 2: he did with Judas. He's deposited a thought in the 174 00:10:25,116 --> 00:10:31,156 Speaker 2: mind of Judas to betray Christs. He traffics in these, 175 00:10:31,356 --> 00:10:36,596 Speaker 2: in these thoughts, and he succeeds. So often it's a 176 00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:40,916 Speaker 2: spiritual battle. I think it's interesting, Arlen, that you know 177 00:10:41,076 --> 00:10:45,516 Speaker 2: in Ephesians chapter six, when this where the spiritual armor 178 00:10:45,836 --> 00:10:50,676 Speaker 2: is described that when it comes to the head, the 179 00:10:50,756 --> 00:10:55,796 Speaker 2: apostle Paul urges us to take on the helmet of salvation, 180 00:10:56,716 --> 00:11:00,396 Speaker 2: the helmet of salvation. I'll test this thought with you. 181 00:11:00,676 --> 00:11:04,316 Speaker 2: See what you think. I wonder if the helmet of 182 00:11:04,476 --> 00:11:10,956 Speaker 2: salvation means that when we're saved, God wraps himself around 183 00:11:10,996 --> 00:11:14,436 Speaker 2: our head in the act of salvation. In other words, 184 00:11:14,436 --> 00:11:17,996 Speaker 2: he begins to protect us, to help us to take 185 00:11:18,036 --> 00:11:21,916 Speaker 2: a stand to get the devil, and as if he 186 00:11:22,356 --> 00:11:26,396 Speaker 2: is saying to say, no, no, no, this mind is 187 00:11:26,516 --> 00:11:30,796 Speaker 2: now mine. It's mind. It's protected. And so when you 188 00:11:30,836 --> 00:11:36,796 Speaker 2: say yes to Christ, you are welcoming the protective presence 189 00:11:37,396 --> 00:11:40,636 Speaker 2: of the Holy Spirit around your mind. That's not to 190 00:11:40,676 --> 00:11:44,596 Speaker 2: say that you'll always succeed, but it is to say 191 00:11:44,636 --> 00:11:48,916 Speaker 2: you always have help. You're only a prayer away. And 192 00:11:48,996 --> 00:11:56,596 Speaker 2: so practicing picky thinking is really practicing unceasing prayer. It's saying, Okay, Lord, 193 00:11:57,276 --> 00:11:59,556 Speaker 2: I know I'm not supposed to be so critical of 194 00:11:59,636 --> 00:12:02,956 Speaker 2: this person, all right, Lord, I know I shouldn't be 195 00:12:03,036 --> 00:12:06,676 Speaker 2: jumping to conclusions here. Help me, please, please help me. 196 00:12:07,076 --> 00:12:11,796 Speaker 2: And so your thought pattern is continually turning toward him, 197 00:12:12,156 --> 00:12:16,676 Speaker 2: inviting him to exercise that helmet of salvation on your thinking. 198 00:12:17,316 --> 00:12:20,916 Speaker 1: That's a very helpful analogy. Like a picture, right you 199 00:12:20,956 --> 00:12:23,636 Speaker 1: picture that helmet over your head. I think I talked 200 00:12:23,636 --> 00:12:25,756 Speaker 1: to a friend recently who just felt like, oh, I 201 00:12:25,836 --> 00:12:29,276 Speaker 1: just feel so rejected. You know. Either maybe my husband 202 00:12:29,276 --> 00:12:31,516 Speaker 1: isn't being very grateful right now, and I just feel 203 00:12:31,516 --> 00:12:34,316 Speaker 1: rejected when I put down the dinner plate and nobody 204 00:12:34,356 --> 00:12:36,876 Speaker 1: says thank you, or I get passed over for a 205 00:12:36,956 --> 00:12:40,876 Speaker 1: job promotion. That helmet of salvation says, wait a minute. 206 00:12:41,356 --> 00:12:45,036 Speaker 1: I am chosen by God. God sees me. God will 207 00:12:45,076 --> 00:12:47,396 Speaker 1: reward me at the end of my life for the 208 00:12:47,396 --> 00:12:49,356 Speaker 1: things I've done for him, you know. And it's that 209 00:12:49,436 --> 00:12:52,196 Speaker 1: helmet of salvation that's protecting those thoughts. 210 00:12:52,476 --> 00:12:52,676 Speaker 2: You know. 211 00:12:52,756 --> 00:12:56,356 Speaker 1: My kids they write, you know, rode bikes through the neighborhood, 212 00:12:56,396 --> 00:12:59,036 Speaker 1: all those things. And when my son was really young, 213 00:12:59,076 --> 00:13:02,036 Speaker 1: He's probably in first grade. He got hit by a 214 00:13:02,076 --> 00:13:05,156 Speaker 1: car coming. He took a corner two wide and a 215 00:13:05,196 --> 00:13:08,116 Speaker 1: car was oncoming and they met Max and it was 216 00:13:08,596 --> 00:13:11,076 Speaker 1: not funny. It was terrible. But he had that helmet 217 00:13:11,116 --> 00:13:15,236 Speaker 1: on and we went to the hospital and all that 218 00:13:15,316 --> 00:13:17,316 Speaker 1: happened was he had a few bruises on his body. 219 00:13:17,836 --> 00:13:20,636 Speaker 1: And I just remember thinking, my goodness, can you imagine 220 00:13:20,956 --> 00:13:23,636 Speaker 1: the differences would have made. It would been catastrophic had 221 00:13:23,676 --> 00:13:27,076 Speaker 1: he not worn his helmet. And it's like what you're saying, 222 00:13:27,116 --> 00:13:29,556 Speaker 1: if we have the helmet of salvation, it saves us 223 00:13:30,036 --> 00:13:33,316 Speaker 1: from so many catastrophes that could happen to us. 224 00:13:33,516 --> 00:13:37,996 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a supernatural presence. By the way, how old 225 00:13:37,996 --> 00:13:39,436 Speaker 2: are your kids now? 226 00:13:39,476 --> 00:13:45,276 Speaker 1: They are twenty one, almost nineteen and sixteen. Oh my goodness, 227 00:13:45,436 --> 00:13:49,436 Speaker 1: I know, Oh my goodness, all these big adults. 228 00:13:49,476 --> 00:13:51,036 Speaker 2: Did they grow up in a blink? 229 00:13:51,796 --> 00:13:54,516 Speaker 1: They grew up on a blink, They certainly did. But 230 00:13:54,596 --> 00:13:56,836 Speaker 1: I will tell you, you know, part of our story 231 00:13:56,956 --> 00:13:59,916 Speaker 1: is that we delayed the things that we thought would 232 00:14:00,236 --> 00:14:04,636 Speaker 1: really like harm their thinking. Right. So no social media, 233 00:14:04,756 --> 00:14:07,916 Speaker 1: no video games, no personal phones until their senior year 234 00:14:07,916 --> 00:14:10,876 Speaker 1: in high school or beyond their choice after their senior year, 235 00:14:11,356 --> 00:14:13,316 Speaker 1: and they chose, you know, we'll do this at the 236 00:14:13,396 --> 00:14:15,596 Speaker 1: end of our senior year or right before college. And 237 00:14:15,636 --> 00:14:18,116 Speaker 1: it's worked out really, really good because just like you 238 00:14:18,156 --> 00:14:21,716 Speaker 1: were saying, then you're not having to have a platform, 239 00:14:22,076 --> 00:14:25,316 Speaker 1: you don't have to compete all the time online. You know, 240 00:14:25,356 --> 00:14:28,836 Speaker 1: it's it's just been a really wonderful life. You talked 241 00:14:28,836 --> 00:14:32,956 Speaker 1: about identifying UFOs. These days are not in the sky. 242 00:14:33,196 --> 00:14:34,556 Speaker 1: What are these UFOs? 243 00:14:34,796 --> 00:14:38,276 Speaker 2: Yeah, and by the way, kudos with that decision for 244 00:14:38,316 --> 00:14:41,036 Speaker 2: your kids. I mean, we could dedicate the whole program, 245 00:14:41,076 --> 00:14:44,916 Speaker 2: couldn't lead to talking about what's involved in these little 246 00:14:44,956 --> 00:14:48,316 Speaker 2: computers we carry in our pockets. But kudos to you. 247 00:14:48,436 --> 00:14:48,916 Speaker 2: Way to go. 248 00:14:49,316 --> 00:14:49,956 Speaker 1: It's a good way. 249 00:14:51,436 --> 00:14:55,676 Speaker 2: So UFO is a tool that I used in talking 250 00:14:55,716 --> 00:14:57,916 Speaker 2: to people, and I use it with my own thoughts. 251 00:14:58,796 --> 00:15:01,516 Speaker 2: But you know, as a as a pastor, by the 252 00:15:01,516 --> 00:15:04,356 Speaker 2: time somebody comes to talk to me, the problem is 253 00:15:04,396 --> 00:15:08,996 Speaker 2: pretty full blown. It's it's more than just a concern. 254 00:15:09,596 --> 00:15:13,196 Speaker 2: But they really are unable to sleep at night. They 255 00:15:13,316 --> 00:15:17,156 Speaker 2: really are convinced their marriage is going down the twobe. 256 00:15:17,676 --> 00:15:21,356 Speaker 2: They really are believing that the world is against them, 257 00:15:21,556 --> 00:15:24,876 Speaker 2: and it's a it's a major, it's a hurricane that's 258 00:15:24,916 --> 00:15:29,236 Speaker 2: taking place in their life. What I've learned is that 259 00:15:30,076 --> 00:15:33,836 Speaker 2: instead of dealing with the overreaction or the hurricane, it 260 00:15:34,236 --> 00:15:37,396 Speaker 2: helps to help them trace that thought back and say, no, 261 00:15:37,716 --> 00:15:41,276 Speaker 2: where did this come from? Why is this? Or how 262 00:15:41,316 --> 00:15:44,556 Speaker 2: did this happen? And so over the years I developed 263 00:15:44,596 --> 00:15:49,916 Speaker 2: this acronym an untruth leads to a false narrative that 264 00:15:49,996 --> 00:15:54,116 Speaker 2: leads to an overreaction. And so rather than deal just 265 00:15:54,196 --> 00:15:57,276 Speaker 2: with the overreaction, which is important, but if you really 266 00:15:57,356 --> 00:16:01,596 Speaker 2: want to deal with it, you don't say, Okay, quit worrying, 267 00:16:02,196 --> 00:16:05,236 Speaker 2: you know, or don't be so anxious. Well, yeah, no, 268 00:16:05,276 --> 00:16:08,236 Speaker 2: I already know that, pastor, But you go back and 269 00:16:08,276 --> 00:16:12,836 Speaker 2: you say, now, what was there is a seed of untruth? Yeah? 270 00:16:12,476 --> 00:16:16,916 Speaker 2: That that that got sown in the soil of your mind, 271 00:16:17,236 --> 00:16:21,476 Speaker 2: and rather than practice peak thinking, you allow that seed 272 00:16:21,596 --> 00:16:24,276 Speaker 2: to get down in there, and that then led to 273 00:16:24,476 --> 00:16:29,716 Speaker 2: a false narrative. And a narrative is how we see 274 00:16:29,756 --> 00:16:34,436 Speaker 2: ourselves and what we say to ourselves. It's kind of 275 00:16:34,436 --> 00:16:38,316 Speaker 2: our view, our worldview of ourselves, and then that would 276 00:16:38,436 --> 00:16:42,156 Speaker 2: lead to an over reaction. So I think it's really 277 00:16:42,316 --> 00:16:47,156 Speaker 2: practical and as we're practicing thought management, or as we're 278 00:16:47,196 --> 00:16:51,116 Speaker 2: helping our kids, or as we're encouraging other people to 279 00:16:51,236 --> 00:16:55,796 Speaker 2: help people identifying what is the untruth that we allowed 280 00:16:57,196 --> 00:17:01,156 Speaker 2: to be sown in our mind and how that then 281 00:17:01,236 --> 00:17:06,396 Speaker 2: led to a false narrative and overreaction and the applications 282 00:17:06,436 --> 00:17:10,036 Speaker 2: are endless of that little tool. 283 00:17:09,596 --> 00:17:11,676 Speaker 1: And the sooner thinking of it as a plant, the 284 00:17:11,756 --> 00:17:13,995 Speaker 1: sooner we can be like, oh, that's not good, and 285 00:17:14,036 --> 00:17:16,035 Speaker 1: we pluck it out. That's pretty easy. It's just a 286 00:17:16,076 --> 00:17:19,556 Speaker 1: tiny little seed, right, But that thing's been there for 287 00:17:19,596 --> 00:17:22,676 Speaker 1: fifty years. You're gonna need a chainsaw. You're gonna need 288 00:17:22,715 --> 00:17:24,795 Speaker 1: a team of people, and that can be done. But 289 00:17:25,035 --> 00:17:27,356 Speaker 1: it's gonna be harder, but it can be done. You 290 00:17:27,436 --> 00:17:29,795 Speaker 1: just handle it a little bit different. But if we 291 00:17:29,836 --> 00:17:34,396 Speaker 1: can teach our kids right as they're young, to say no, no, no, 292 00:17:34,475 --> 00:17:36,715 Speaker 1: that's not who God says you are. Let's pluck that 293 00:17:36,755 --> 00:17:39,076 Speaker 1: thing right now and let's put something else in there. 294 00:17:39,475 --> 00:17:41,996 Speaker 1: We're gonna take a quick break and have a word 295 00:17:41,995 --> 00:17:43,876 Speaker 1: from our sponsor. But on the other side of this, 296 00:17:43,916 --> 00:17:46,995 Speaker 1: I'm gonna ask you about your dog. All right, So 297 00:17:47,116 --> 00:17:50,475 Speaker 1: your dog Andy, I love this because we're gonna apply 298 00:17:50,676 --> 00:17:54,275 Speaker 1: the UFO to your dog. Andy, Okay, so I really 299 00:17:54,356 --> 00:17:57,715 Speaker 1: like this. So the untruth that Andy has believed is 300 00:17:58,196 --> 00:18:01,276 Speaker 1: coyotes will destroy me. I mean, it's true, but it's 301 00:18:01,316 --> 00:18:03,955 Speaker 1: not like every waking moment of his life he needs 302 00:18:03,995 --> 00:18:07,276 Speaker 1: to be thinking that coyotes will destroy me a false narrative. 303 00:18:07,755 --> 00:18:12,596 Speaker 1: I'm too weak to venture out of the house overreaction. 304 00:18:13,396 --> 00:18:19,636 Speaker 1: Coyotes are everywhere, stay indoors and never leave do In fact, this. 305 00:18:19,676 --> 00:18:24,075 Speaker 2: Max well, this makes me chuckle because literally I was 306 00:18:24,156 --> 00:18:28,595 Speaker 2: downstairs working on this particular chapter. And my dog Andy 307 00:18:28,755 --> 00:18:31,876 Speaker 2: is the best dog, just the greatest dog. And Andy 308 00:18:31,955 --> 00:18:35,196 Speaker 2: is fourteen years old, and so he's not as active 309 00:18:35,196 --> 00:18:37,875 Speaker 2: as he used to be. And wherever I go, he goes, 310 00:18:37,955 --> 00:18:42,036 Speaker 2: and he curls himself up at my feet, and he's 311 00:18:42,196 --> 00:18:46,835 Speaker 2: just a wonderful friend. And he does have a leash 312 00:18:47,156 --> 00:18:50,715 Speaker 2: a collar on that automatically opens the doggy door right, 313 00:18:51,156 --> 00:18:53,315 Speaker 2: which is a great convenience because he loves to go 314 00:18:53,356 --> 00:18:56,676 Speaker 2: in and out. And we do live on three acres 315 00:18:56,995 --> 00:18:59,556 Speaker 2: on the edge of town, and we do have coyotes, 316 00:18:59,556 --> 00:19:01,676 Speaker 2: and we do have a few varmts that come around, 317 00:19:02,196 --> 00:19:04,996 Speaker 2: and so there are occasions when he'll pop his head 318 00:19:05,076 --> 00:19:08,356 Speaker 2: up and he's smelling something he'll run out the doggy 319 00:19:08,396 --> 00:19:12,676 Speaker 2: door and he's chasing some varmint, and it could be 320 00:19:13,035 --> 00:19:18,636 Speaker 2: as something as you know, harmful, as a coyote. Now, 321 00:19:19,035 --> 00:19:22,436 Speaker 2: that anxiety that got him up, got him outside, and 322 00:19:22,436 --> 00:19:25,356 Speaker 2: then will rush him back into the house. You know what, 323 00:19:25,596 --> 00:19:30,196 Speaker 2: that anxiety's good, that's healthy. The anxiety that gets him 324 00:19:30,275 --> 00:19:35,196 Speaker 2: into the house into safety, that's God given. That's God given. Now, 325 00:19:35,356 --> 00:19:38,036 Speaker 2: if he were to follow that down a false narrative, 326 00:19:38,396 --> 00:19:40,756 Speaker 2: he might say something like, well, now I'm too weak 327 00:19:40,836 --> 00:19:42,835 Speaker 2: to ever leave the house. I can never leave the 328 00:19:42,876 --> 00:19:45,956 Speaker 2: house again. I'm forever stuck here at home, and that 329 00:19:45,995 --> 00:19:50,276 Speaker 2: then could lead to an overreaction. Coyotes are everywhere. They 330 00:19:50,316 --> 00:19:53,316 Speaker 2: may even be in the closet in the kitchen. I'm 331 00:19:53,316 --> 00:19:56,035 Speaker 2: going to live in a constant state of fear. So 332 00:19:56,116 --> 00:19:59,475 Speaker 2: see how the untruth would lead to a false narrative 333 00:19:59,796 --> 00:20:03,835 Speaker 2: that would lead to an overreaction. And we humans are 334 00:20:03,876 --> 00:20:06,836 Speaker 2: prone to that as well. Don't beat yourself up for 335 00:20:06,955 --> 00:20:10,596 Speaker 2: having anxious thoughts. Anxious thoughts are good, you know, boy, 336 00:20:10,636 --> 00:20:12,555 Speaker 2: I better make sure the door's locked for I go 337 00:20:12,636 --> 00:20:14,796 Speaker 2: to bed. I don't want anybody to get in. That's 338 00:20:14,796 --> 00:20:17,396 Speaker 2: a fair, healthy thought. That's a part of that little 339 00:20:17,396 --> 00:20:19,835 Speaker 2: amig de LIAI that will on the size part of 340 00:20:19,876 --> 00:20:23,035 Speaker 2: our brain that activates us to action. What you don't 341 00:20:23,116 --> 00:20:27,595 Speaker 2: want is to let that make delies alarm system to 342 00:20:27,876 --> 00:20:32,156 Speaker 2: never turn off. You have to say, Okay, the door's locked, 343 00:20:32,796 --> 00:20:35,075 Speaker 2: I'm in the hands of the Lord. You've got to 344 00:20:35,076 --> 00:20:37,676 Speaker 2: be careful. Don't go down the false narrative and say, well, 345 00:20:37,836 --> 00:20:40,396 Speaker 2: there was a robbery, you know, ten miles from here. 346 00:20:40,396 --> 00:20:43,676 Speaker 2: I bet they're over here by now, you know. Over reaction, 347 00:20:43,995 --> 00:20:46,116 Speaker 2: I think I'm just going to stay indoors. I'm never 348 00:20:46,156 --> 00:20:49,636 Speaker 2: going outside for the rest of my life or living 349 00:20:49,715 --> 00:20:53,755 Speaker 2: constant fear. Yeah, and so dealing with those thoughts early, 350 00:20:54,116 --> 00:20:56,956 Speaker 2: Arlene is one I'm trying to urge myself and all 351 00:20:56,995 --> 00:20:59,436 Speaker 2: of us to do before they get out of control. 352 00:21:00,356 --> 00:21:01,876 Speaker 1: You know, I think of a lot of parents who say, 353 00:21:01,876 --> 00:21:03,835 Speaker 1: my kid doesn't even want to leave the house. They 354 00:21:03,876 --> 00:21:06,235 Speaker 1: don't want to go to school, they don't want to 355 00:21:06,356 --> 00:21:08,236 Speaker 1: after maybe they go to school, then they come home, 356 00:21:08,275 --> 00:21:09,955 Speaker 1: they don't want to leave the house. Over the weekend, 357 00:21:09,995 --> 00:21:12,475 Speaker 1: they don't want to leave their room, and they're filled 358 00:21:12,515 --> 00:21:16,516 Speaker 1: with anxiety. And maybe it's as much as putting the 359 00:21:16,636 --> 00:21:20,196 Speaker 1: UFO right on the wall the letters UFO and have 360 00:21:20,436 --> 00:21:23,595 Speaker 1: them think of what is this untruth that I am 361 00:21:23,636 --> 00:21:26,676 Speaker 1: thinking about my life? What is the false narrative? And 362 00:21:26,876 --> 00:21:29,076 Speaker 1: you know, and have them think that through and then 363 00:21:29,076 --> 00:21:32,795 Speaker 1: start really rehearsing out loud, I am going out to 364 00:21:32,876 --> 00:21:37,076 Speaker 1: ice cream and I will be safe with my family, 365 00:21:37,116 --> 00:21:40,676 Speaker 1: you know, or whatever. But really doing that, I want 366 00:21:40,715 --> 00:21:44,755 Speaker 1: to touch before we go on the idea of scriptural meditation, 367 00:21:45,156 --> 00:21:47,876 Speaker 1: because you hear a lot about meditation, but it's an 368 00:21:47,995 --> 00:21:52,515 Speaker 1: emptied mind, is not a tamed mind. You write that 369 00:21:52,556 --> 00:21:56,636 Speaker 1: in the book, So it's not just about like emptying ourselves. Right, 370 00:21:57,275 --> 00:22:01,075 Speaker 1: How can we teach our kids meditation? For instance? How 371 00:22:01,076 --> 00:22:04,036 Speaker 1: would we explain that to a child or a teenager. 372 00:22:04,116 --> 00:22:07,355 Speaker 2: Yeah, so as we practice picky thinking, we're saying to 373 00:22:07,396 --> 00:22:08,955 Speaker 2: our kids, now, just because you have a thought, you 374 00:22:08,995 --> 00:22:11,835 Speaker 2: don't have to think it. Just be careful. When my 375 00:22:11,955 --> 00:22:15,196 Speaker 2: daughter was in the sixth in the first grade, six 376 00:22:15,316 --> 00:22:18,156 Speaker 2: years old, we taught her to literally put her hand 377 00:22:18,235 --> 00:22:21,995 Speaker 2: up against her head and pull out the thought, like 378 00:22:22,035 --> 00:22:25,395 Speaker 2: you're pulling trash out and throw it away, find a 379 00:22:25,396 --> 00:22:28,676 Speaker 2: trash can. And we did come across her several times 380 00:22:28,876 --> 00:22:30,636 Speaker 2: we watched her just doing that. We gave her a 381 00:22:30,676 --> 00:22:33,916 Speaker 2: practical thing to do, and I think that was helpful. 382 00:22:34,275 --> 00:22:37,156 Speaker 2: And then we help as parents. It really helps us 383 00:22:37,156 --> 00:22:40,955 Speaker 2: as we're identifying the over reactions and rather than just 384 00:22:40,995 --> 00:22:44,475 Speaker 2: say oh, don't feel that way, say why do you 385 00:22:44,556 --> 00:22:47,116 Speaker 2: feel that way? And try to get to the core. 386 00:22:47,475 --> 00:22:52,275 Speaker 2: Then the third tool uproot and replant. Having identified what 387 00:22:52,436 --> 00:22:56,076 Speaker 2: the seed is that the devil planted, before it can 388 00:22:56,116 --> 00:22:59,316 Speaker 2: turn into a weed, we uproot it, we pull it out. 389 00:22:59,436 --> 00:23:04,196 Speaker 2: And again that's like you say, meditation, we're clearing our mind. However, 390 00:23:04,556 --> 00:23:09,116 Speaker 2: Christian spiritual meditation calls for not just clearing our mind, 391 00:23:09,156 --> 00:23:13,116 Speaker 2: but filling our mind. Filling our mind with thoughts of God, 392 00:23:13,316 --> 00:23:17,355 Speaker 2: thoughts of faith. For example, your seven year old is 393 00:23:17,396 --> 00:23:21,555 Speaker 2: afraid to go outside. Will help them memorize the Lord 394 00:23:21,676 --> 00:23:25,596 Speaker 2: is my shepherd. I shall not want. That's all they need. 395 00:23:25,876 --> 00:23:27,955 Speaker 2: The Lord is my shepherd. Honey, do you know what 396 00:23:27,995 --> 00:23:31,555 Speaker 2: a shepherd does. A shepherd protects the sheep. Well, the 397 00:23:31,596 --> 00:23:35,035 Speaker 2: Lord is your shepherd. Let's say this together. The Lord 398 00:23:35,116 --> 00:23:37,556 Speaker 2: is my shepherd. Why don't you take a crayon, let's 399 00:23:37,556 --> 00:23:40,555 Speaker 2: write it out. The Lord is my shepherd and just 400 00:23:40,596 --> 00:23:42,876 Speaker 2: say that over and over. What you're doing is you're 401 00:23:42,916 --> 00:23:46,875 Speaker 2: helping your youngster to do what we adults need as well, 402 00:23:47,235 --> 00:23:50,595 Speaker 2: and that is to take the untruth and deposit truth, 403 00:23:50,715 --> 00:23:54,715 Speaker 2: replace it with truth. Because the scripture is the sword 404 00:23:54,755 --> 00:23:58,396 Speaker 2: of the spirit, and so that's how the devil, that's 405 00:23:58,436 --> 00:24:01,436 Speaker 2: how the Lord does battle with the devil with scripture. 406 00:24:01,836 --> 00:24:06,396 Speaker 2: And wherever their scripture quoted, there's no devil he leaves. 407 00:24:06,436 --> 00:24:09,715 Speaker 2: He hates that thought. And so equip your children by 408 00:24:09,876 --> 00:24:13,275 Speaker 2: replacing those untruths with the truth of scripture. 409 00:24:13,715 --> 00:24:15,355 Speaker 1: I love that, and I can't help but think the 410 00:24:15,396 --> 00:24:18,475 Speaker 1: thirty five forty five year old parents same thing. Walking 411 00:24:18,475 --> 00:24:22,036 Speaker 1: out to the Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. 412 00:24:22,156 --> 00:24:25,876 Speaker 1: It's the same for us, Max. How can people find 413 00:24:25,916 --> 00:24:29,436 Speaker 1: out more connect with you? Tell us again your book 414 00:24:29,475 --> 00:24:29,916 Speaker 1: and how. 415 00:24:29,755 --> 00:24:34,235 Speaker 2: To get it well, maxlocato dot com is the quickest way, 416 00:24:34,676 --> 00:24:38,636 Speaker 2: and wherever books are sold there you'll find tame your thoughts. 417 00:24:39,636 --> 00:24:41,916 Speaker 2: So thanks so much. It's really a treat to have 418 00:24:41,995 --> 00:24:45,355 Speaker 2: this conversation. You do a wonderful job. You do. You 419 00:24:45,396 --> 00:24:46,636 Speaker 2: make it so easy. 420 00:24:46,995 --> 00:24:49,316 Speaker 1: Oh, thank you, Max, Thank you, it's such a joy 421 00:24:49,316 --> 00:24:52,156 Speaker 1: to have you. Thank you so much for depositing these 422 00:24:52,196 --> 00:24:54,316 Speaker 1: truths in our heart. Thank you so much. 423 00:24:54,556 --> 00:24:56,676 Speaker 2: Thank you all the very best. 424 00:24:57,916 --> 00:25:01,276 Speaker 1: I hope you've enjoyed today's conversation. I'd love to keep 425 00:25:01,275 --> 00:25:04,916 Speaker 1: in touch beyond this podcast. Click subscribe in the show 426 00:25:04,955 --> 00:25:07,555 Speaker 1: notes and I will give you my latest email to 427 00:25:07,636 --> 00:25:11,515 Speaker 1: keep up on what's happening with technology and kids. And 428 00:25:11,556 --> 00:25:14,436 Speaker 1: maybe you like reading or listening to books. I have 429 00:25:14,475 --> 00:25:17,115 Speaker 1: a lot of books. You could start with The Big Three, 430 00:25:17,636 --> 00:25:22,756 Speaker 1: Making Marriage Easier, Parents Rising, or Screen Kids. A big 431 00:25:22,836 --> 00:25:24,996 Speaker 1: thank you to the team at Life Audio for their 432 00:25:25,035 --> 00:25:28,916 Speaker 1: partnership with the Happy Home podcast. Check out lifeaudio dot 433 00:25:28,916 --> 00:25:32,595 Speaker 1: com for dozens of other faith related podcasts about prayer, 434 00:25:32,916 --> 00:25:36,676 Speaker 1: Bible study, and more. Remember you don't have to come 435 00:25:36,715 --> 00:25:39,836 Speaker 1: from a happy home to create one. You two can 436 00:25:39,955 --> 00:25:41,396 Speaker 1: have a happy homeless