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Speaker 1: Life Audio.

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Speaker 2: The Ryan Reshow in California. This is the Ryan re Show.

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Speaker 2: Post your questions using at Ryan Reese on his Instagram,

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Speaker 2: Twitter or Facebook. Are you ready ready?

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Speaker 3: All right? It is going down this show. I'm excited.

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Speaker 3: I got contacted by one of my good friends, Antie

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Speaker 3: Colossa out in Nashville, and she's actually contacted me several times.

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Speaker 3: But she has really amazing people I need to get

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Speaker 3: in the studio. She contacted me. She says, you need

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Speaker 3: to get this guy in. He's coming to California. He

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Speaker 3: has a radical story. It'd be perfect for your guys

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Speaker 3: to show. So here we are. After several text messages

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Speaker 3: and a couple months. Actually you know what, you actually

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Speaker 3: showing up. It was a lot quicker than most guests

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Speaker 3: normally takes a cack you can take a year or whatever,

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Speaker 3: so this happened pretty quickly. It's Brian Rutger. He's a

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Speaker 3: director of Celebrate Recovery at the WFR Church in West Monroe, Louisiana.

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Speaker 3: And you're also the former member you're actually you were

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Speaker 3: part of their duck Dynasty, right yeah, former cast on.

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Speaker 1: Some of the shows. Yeah, absolutely, yeah, and that was uh,

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Speaker 1: you know, that was just really cool to be a

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Speaker 1: part of that, you know, being somebody from where I'm from,

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Speaker 1: because I didn't grow up in West Manora, Louisiana.

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Speaker 3: I grew up in Houston, Texas, right right, So I

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Speaker 3: want to Actually, that's that's interesting because I was listening

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Speaker 3: to some of your story and I did hear that

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Speaker 3: you were actually down there in Houston. We have a

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Speaker 3: lot of friends down there, We've done a lot of work.

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Speaker 3: But now you're out, You're out there with these guys

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Speaker 3: in Louisiana. Yeah, And it's probably ninety difference right between

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Speaker 3: the two kind of lifestyles.

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Speaker 1: Oh, I mean, you know, you got Houston, Texas, which

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Speaker 1: is fast paced, and especially where I'm from. I grew

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Speaker 1: up in like low income neighborhood basically the projects, and

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Speaker 1: so it's chaos everywhere. Almost like you developed this survival

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Speaker 1: mentality just staying there. And then I get to West Monroe, Louisiana,

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Speaker 1: where everybody's kind, everybody's friendly, it's a lot to freak

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Speaker 1: you out or.

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Speaker 3: What no for sure?

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Speaker 1: For sure?

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Speaker 3: What do they want from me?

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Speaker 1: Well? Yeah, it was like what do you want from me?

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Speaker 1: But then also I remember calling people back home and

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Speaker 1: being like man, this place is like a fairy tale,

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Speaker 1: you know, and people that know Westman or Louisiana, they're like, no,

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Speaker 1: it's stinks. There's a paper meal there. They're like, there's

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Speaker 1: no fairy tale. But to me, I was like, man,

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Speaker 1: people out here are nice, they're kind. These people are

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Speaker 1: waiting to get married before they have sex. I'm like,

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Speaker 1: a man, I ain't none of this place exists.

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Speaker 3: It's a place with like morals. It's like that all

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Speaker 3: you know, how America was actually created with morals and everything.

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Speaker 3: And it's it's funny because I'm from la and I

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Speaker 3: moved up to Boise recently and we're like people like

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Speaker 3: wait for you to like make a right turn or

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Speaker 3: you know, the people are like nice, right versus here,

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Speaker 3: you're you're fighting to get in the lane. You're here

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Speaker 3: and people in the rush and people are pissed off

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Speaker 3: and the whole thing. So I know, it's it's amazing.

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Speaker 3: We're like, what is going on here? You're just thinking nice? Yeah, Well,

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Speaker 3: let's before we even get to that. Let's let's start

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Speaker 3: how you even grew up. I mean, did you grow

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Speaker 3: up when you were going what were you into? Because

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Speaker 3: I know these guys are you know, shooting guns, catching

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Speaker 3: fish and all that stuff. How'd you grow up where

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Speaker 3: you got? Did you grow up in a with a

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Speaker 3: father and a mother? How'd your life start?

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Speaker 1: No? So, Uh, basically I've been on my own since

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Speaker 1: I was thirteen years old. I grew up, like I said,

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Speaker 1: in Houston, Texas. Uh, in the projects, literally in a

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Speaker 1: two bedroom apartment all the way in the back. The

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Speaker 1: neighborhood I grew up in. We called it the hole

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Speaker 1: because it was one way in, one way out, and

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Speaker 1: you know, growing up there, it was I came to

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Speaker 1: the realization at nine years old that like, you can die.

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Speaker 1: And that was whenever I seen a guy get gunned

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Speaker 1: down in this field right next to the apartments where

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Speaker 1: we used to play games at you know, games like

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Speaker 1: run through the Middle tag. Like I watched the dude

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Speaker 1: get gunned down as I'm sitting on my porch and

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Speaker 1: I'm thinking to myself like, oh, like you can die

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Speaker 1: out here, right, And uh, you know, for a for

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Speaker 1: a nine year old kid, that's a really strange realization

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Speaker 1: to come to. You know, it kind of throws everything

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Speaker 1: about your development out of whack, right, and so so.

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Speaker 3: I have a question for you, though, about these gangs.

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Speaker 3: So what kind of gangs are down there in Houston?

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Speaker 3: Is it?

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Speaker 1: It's a lot like the gangs here, only a lot

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Speaker 1: less organized. You know, you would think that like, you know,

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Speaker 1: you hear gang, Oh it's got to be organized and

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Speaker 1: everything else. Well, not so much, uh you know from

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Speaker 1: my understanding, at least what I was taught growing up.

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Speaker 1: You know, as gangs migrated out of la you know,

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Speaker 1: they would go to Arizona and then Houston was one

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Speaker 1: of those next big hubs where they started planting gangs.

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Speaker 1: And so you have bloods, you have cribs, you have

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Speaker 1: different sections. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A lot of Hispanic gangs also,

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Speaker 1: uh you know that stem from the prison system and

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Speaker 1: everything a little bit different, but pretty much the same

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Speaker 1: thing with different names, uh in in some degrees, but

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Speaker 1: I mean a lot of it is very similar.

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Speaker 3: God White gangs too.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah yeah yeah absolutely. Arian Brotherhood they actually in prison.

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Speaker 1: You have the a BT, which is the Arian Brotherhood

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Speaker 1: of Texas. Uh, direct breakoff from the Arian Brotherhood that

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Speaker 1: was started here. You have wood Pole, which is you know,

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Speaker 1: Peckerwood's stuff like that. Crazy.

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Speaker 3: So here you are, you're growing up in this in

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Speaker 3: this area in the neighborhood and you've seen this guy

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Speaker 3: get taken out. How that affect you growing up? And

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Speaker 3: what was that, beau? I mean, obviously there's all these

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Speaker 3: things that happened to you. When you look back at

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Speaker 3: your life, there's these these there's these these places that

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Speaker 3: mark these times in your life that it changes like

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Speaker 3: your mentality, changes your heart. It just does something to you,

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Speaker 3: has an impact on your life. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Well, what we know now is those are trauma points, right, Like,

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Speaker 1: but you growing up in that you don't realize what

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Speaker 1: trauma is or anything else. You tell yourself and what

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Speaker 1: the only thing that you know is that this is

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Speaker 1: how life is. Right. So, Uh, I grew up in

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Speaker 1: an all black neighborhood. Okay, so the street gang that

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Speaker 1: I was part of was just predominantly a black street gang,

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Speaker 1: got it, uh, And so being the only person my

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Speaker 1: color there, like, I used to have to fight every

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Speaker 1: day as a real young kid. I used to have

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Speaker 1: to fight before I got on the bus, when I

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Speaker 1: was on the bus, and then when I got off

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Speaker 1: the bus. Util Eventually, you know, I just kind of

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Speaker 1: earned my stripes. And I was just another kid in

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Speaker 1: the neighborhood. So seeing all this stuff. It wasn't just

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Speaker 1: the watching the murder happen, but it was you know,

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Speaker 1: just walking to the corner store to get a Snickers bar.

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Speaker 1: You see prostitutes, you see people selling crack and everything else.

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Speaker 1: And one of the people that I was closest to

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Speaker 1: in my neighborhood, another kid, his dad was like one

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Speaker 1: of the biggest narcotics distributors there, and so he kind

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Speaker 1: of took me under his wing. I remember being a

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Speaker 1: little kid learning how to roll blunts and putting them

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Speaker 1: in a pencil bag and taking them to school, selling

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Speaker 1: blunts like three for five, you know, stuff like that.

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Speaker 1: It was just how I grew up, and I really

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Speaker 1: didn't know that there was any other way. I remember

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Speaker 1: watching shows like Family Matters in full house, you know,

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Speaker 1: growing up, and I would see how they operated in

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Speaker 1: the stuff that happened, and I was just like, man,

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Speaker 1: that's not real, like like that stuff that fantasy. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: like it just doesn't exist, you know, it's it's made

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Speaker 1: for TV. And so yeah, man, like just my my

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Speaker 1: perspective of everything was so skewed because of the stuff

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Speaker 1: that I witnessed on a day to day.

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Speaker 3: So how was it growing up with your with your

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Speaker 3: mom and your dad, how they affect your life or

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Speaker 3: what influence did they have as you were growing up

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Speaker 3: around this this hole.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so never knew my dad ever, never never knew

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Speaker 1: him or anything like that. I grew up in the

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Speaker 1: home with my mom and my grandmother. And you know,

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Speaker 1: my mom, she got sick when I was around twelve

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Speaker 1: years old. She had actually gotten sick way before that,

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Speaker 1: but she bounced back. She started having tumors, and I remember,

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Speaker 1: you know, being a kid. She went into the hospital

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Speaker 1: for tumors. They would go in remove a tumor, and

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Speaker 1: then another one would developed. They would go in remove

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Speaker 1: that tumor, another one would develop. I ended up she

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Speaker 1: ended up spending almost an entire year in the hospital.

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Speaker 1: When my life consisted of like getting up, go to school,

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Speaker 1: get out of school, go to the hospital, visit my mom,

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Speaker 1: and then come back home. And at that point I

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Speaker 1: was I started selling weed at eleven, started selling crack

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Speaker 1: at twelve. So at that point, like I'm just on

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Speaker 1: the block with my friends, Like you know, I know.

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Speaker 3: That age, that's that's that age when you could be.

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Speaker 1: Out and yeah, yeah, I'm selling dime bags and nickel rocks.

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Speaker 1: You know, and so you used to carry back then pistols. No,

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Speaker 1: I didn't buy my first gun until after my mom

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Speaker 1: died and so, but so I go and visit her,

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Speaker 1: come home. Everything well. On one of the last surgeries

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Speaker 1: that they did to remove a tumor, they ended up

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Speaker 1: sewing her back up with one of the towels that

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Speaker 1: you wipe up bloodwood and the operating room inside of

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Speaker 1: her and it caused the foreign body infection. I remember

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Speaker 1: the doctor coming in saying, hey, we made a mistake,

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Speaker 1: and then they go in remove the towel, say they

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Speaker 1: get rid of all the infection. I would go up

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Speaker 1: to the hospital and I'd see my mom laying in

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Speaker 1: this bed with these tubes hooked up to her and

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Speaker 1: it was just pumping this green fluid out of her

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Speaker 1: into this clear tub at the end of the bed,

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Speaker 1: and they say they get rid of all the infection.

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Speaker 1: They sent her home. And like I said, we stayed

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Speaker 1: in two bedroom apartment at that time, and so my

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Speaker 1: grandma had a room, I had a room, and then

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Speaker 1: my mom before she went into the hospital would just

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Speaker 1: kind of stay in the living room. And whenever they

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Speaker 1: sent her home, she still had IVS in her and

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Speaker 1: stuff like that, and so we had to move everything

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Speaker 1: out of my room and move in like a hospital

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Speaker 1: bed and everything. We were dirt poor, didn't have nothing.

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Speaker 1: So a friend of the family would come and tend

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Speaker 1: to her IV's because we couldn't afford nobody to do

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Speaker 1: that well. On December eighteenth, it was about a week later.

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Speaker 1: I'm home from school for break and she kept wanting

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Speaker 1: me to watch this movie with her. I would walk

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Speaker 1: into my room and she would be in there. The

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Speaker 1: movie was Chicken Run. It was this like clay mation

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Speaker 1: and thing, yeah, and she kept wanting me to watch

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Speaker 1: it with her. It was coming on TV, and I

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Speaker 1: was like, yeah, yeah, I'll watch the movie with you.

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Speaker 1: And then I'd go outside, come back in, and she'd say, hey,

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Speaker 1: are you gonna watch this movie with me? I'm like, yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna watch the movie with you. I'd go back outside,

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Speaker 1: come back in, and then one of the last times

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Speaker 1: I talk to her, she said, Hey, the movie's coming on.

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Speaker 1: Will you please watch this movie with me? And I

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Speaker 1: was like, yeah, yeah, I'll be right back. And I

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Speaker 1: was just going outside, hang out with my friends, sell

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Speaker 1: dine bags and then I come back in. That last time,

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Speaker 1: and I remember walking by the bed that was in

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Speaker 1: my room for and I remember hearing her snoring, and

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Speaker 1: I thought to myself, Okay, good, I ain't got to

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Speaker 1: watch that stupid movie. I go back out into the

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Speaker 1: living room for the night and I just sleep in

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Speaker 1: the living room The next morning and I wake up

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Speaker 1: and my grandma's like, hey, can you go get your

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Speaker 1: mom up? Miss Diane's about to come change your ivs.

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Speaker 1: And I walk up. I get to the doorway of

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Speaker 1: the bedroom and it just felt weird, you know. It

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Speaker 1: was like this stillness. And I start walking up to

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Speaker 1: the bed and I remember having the thought of like, man,

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Speaker 1: she looks like she's dead, but still I walk up

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Speaker 1: to her and I start nudging her on her shoulder

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Speaker 1: and I'm like, hey, mom, wake up. And she passed

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Speaker 1: away that night. So, at thirteen years old, I found

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Speaker 1: my mom dead. Another trauma, Another trauma point right dang?

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Speaker 3: So now o, CA, So you don't have your father around,

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Speaker 3: never met him, you lost your mom, you're selling drugs,

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Speaker 3: you're howled again. Thirteen thirteen, you're thirteen years old, you're

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Speaker 3: with your grandma. Yeah, so what was the next thing

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Speaker 3: that happens?

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Speaker 1: So so like literally the next thing that happens is

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Speaker 1: like I'm hit with another reality. Like so, since I'm

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Speaker 1: I'm a counselor, now I see all these trauma things

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Speaker 1: that happen and you don't realize what they are at

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Speaker 1: the time. But like I literally walk into the living

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Speaker 1: room and I tell my grandma, Hey, my mom's dead,

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Speaker 1: and she's like, what you know this and that? So yeah,

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Speaker 1: like I literally you have to pick up the phone,

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Speaker 1: call nine one one and say, hey, my mom died.

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Speaker 1: And then I just set the phone down and I leave.

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Speaker 1: Well not long after, you know, just kind of fast

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Speaker 1: forward a little bit less than six months later, I

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Speaker 1: get incarcerated for the first time.

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Speaker 3: Okay, well, this is my question when that happened? What

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Speaker 3: happened inside of your heart? Because I had a pretty

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Speaker 3: early trauma with some stuff when I was young, and

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Speaker 3: it led me to like hate God and not trust women,

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Speaker 3: and like there's all this crazy stuff with like death

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Speaker 3: that happened to me, and I just got I was

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Speaker 3: just pissed off, hated people, and just angry at God,

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Speaker 3: wanted nothing to do with him. Losing your mom. If

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Speaker 3: you're a Christian, not a Christian or whatever it is,

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Speaker 3: that is, these are some feelings that could definitely happen

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Speaker 3: where you just get angry at the God.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so I put it like this. Man Like, So,

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Speaker 1: I grew up totally atheists, never believed in God anything else,

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Speaker 1: so it wasn't really a thought towards God ever. But

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Speaker 1: I remember that whenever I made it back to the

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Speaker 1: apartment that day, the paramedics were there. I walk in

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Speaker 1: and the paramedics set me down on the couch and

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Speaker 1: he tells me, Hey, we're sorry to tell you what

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Speaker 1: your mom died, right, And I remember I cried for

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Speaker 1: about half a second, and then I just was angry.

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Speaker 1: I had people showing up, people calling. I remember I

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Speaker 1: had to pick up the phone and call everybody we knew. Myself. Hey,

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Speaker 1: I was just calling to let you know my mom died.

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Speaker 1: Hang up the phone, call the next person. Hey, I'm

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Speaker 1: just calling to let you know my mom died. Hang

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Speaker 1: with the phone, call the next person.

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Speaker 3: Right.

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Speaker 1: And so it was like every single phone call I made,

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Speaker 1: and every single time somebody showed up it tried to

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Speaker 1: talk to me, it just made me more and more angry. So,

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Speaker 1: like I said, we're in the projects. So they had

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Speaker 1: this police liaison officers show up because it's December nineteenth,

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Speaker 1: that's right before Christmas. And she shows up with this

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Speaker 1: box and it's got like a pair of shoes in there,

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Speaker 1: basketball football, like, hey, we're sorry your mom passed away

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Speaker 1: right before Christmas. Here's this giant box of gifts. And

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Speaker 1: I was just like, man, I'll give a crap about

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Speaker 1: none of that. You know what I'm saying, Yeah, exactly,

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Speaker 1: And so everything just made me more and more angry.

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Speaker 1: And it wasn't necessarily I'm angry at God. Yeah, you know,

295
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Speaker 1: she's angry at truth be told, I don't even know

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Speaker 1: what I was angry at. I just knew I was angry.

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Speaker 1: And you know, I was selling a little bit of

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Speaker 1: drugs here and there, just kind of hanging out with friends,

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Speaker 1: just really just trying to be a part of the neighborhood.

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Speaker 1: But that's where it shifted. That's where it was like,

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Speaker 1: I don't care about nothing.

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Speaker 3: Another question, Are you using drugs as well? You're just

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Speaker 3: slinging it.

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Speaker 1: I was smoking a little bit of weed. No, you weren't.

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Speaker 3: Getting on the hard stuff. It was just more weed

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Speaker 3: and moving to the Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Because I was raised, you know, I was brought up

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Speaker 1: by these gang members and drug dealers who it's like, hey,

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Speaker 1: you don't do any of this stuff, Like we sell

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Speaker 1: this stuff, but we don't do it. Now you get older,

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Speaker 1: you realize, oh, y'all are doing coke and stuff too.

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Speaker 1: But at least that's how it was portrayed to us,

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Speaker 1: like if you use it, you're a dope fiend. Like

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Speaker 1: you can't do that, you know, making money off of it?

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Speaker 3: Gotcha? Gotcha? Okay, So now here we are, So what

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Speaker 3: are the next moves that you make in your life

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Speaker 3: from this? From this point on?

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Speaker 1: So I go and I buy my first gun. Less

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Speaker 1: than six months later, I'm still thirteen. I go get

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Speaker 1: my first gun, and it was it was a little

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Speaker 1: twenty five barretta. It was one of those ones that

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Speaker 1: had to flip up a barrel. I didn't even have

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Speaker 1: a clip for it. I just like just had the

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Speaker 1: gun and one bullet in the barrel. And I remember

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Speaker 1: getting the gun and I'm thinking to myself, like, man,

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Speaker 1: I can I could be a millionaire with this thing, right,

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Speaker 1: like like literally that was the thought. I was like, Okay,

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Speaker 1: this gun, Like I can take something that somebody else

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Speaker 1: has and allow me to have something you know, and

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Speaker 1: so uh power, yeah, the power of it, you know.

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Speaker 1: And so I came up with this idea that I

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Speaker 1: was gonna rob a Schwanz truck. I don't know if

333
00:16:09,840 --> 00:16:12,640
Speaker 1: you're FROMI it's a food truck and they would come

334
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Speaker 1: through the neighborhood and they would deliver food to like

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Speaker 1: older people, and you know, it's actually kind of funny

336
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Speaker 1: because you know, my thirteen year old mine, I'm like,

337
00:16:23,800 --> 00:16:26,560
Speaker 1: oh man, this truck comes into the neighborhood, like they're

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00:16:26,600 --> 00:16:28,640
Speaker 1: dropping off food. They just got to have a stack

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Speaker 1: of cash on them, you know. And so I'm like, all,

340
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Speaker 1: I'm gonna rob that truck. And literally I ran up

341
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Speaker 1: on the truck and I pull out the gun and

342
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Speaker 1: I robbed the guy and he was about to deliver

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Speaker 1: two boxes of ice cream sandwiches to somebody. So he

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Speaker 1: literally throws the ice cream sandwiches at me. As this short, chunky,

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Speaker 1: hispanic looking kid runs up to him with a gun

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Speaker 1: and he throws the boxes of ice cream sandwiches at me.

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Speaker 1: I just yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, so like it. So

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Speaker 1: then I'm like, now like my drenalists pumping. I ain't

349
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Speaker 1: never did this before, you know, So I pick up

350
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Speaker 1: the ice cream sandwiches and I take off run into

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Speaker 1: my apartment, right, And so I committed my first robbery

352
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Speaker 1: at thirteen years old, and all I got was two

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Speaker 1: boxes of ice cream sandwiches. Less than thirty minutes later,

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Speaker 1: the cops come and rest.

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Speaker 3: Oh, oh my god.

356
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Speaker 1: And I go to jail for the first time at

357
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Speaker 1: thirteen for aggravated robbery with a deadly weapon. Wow, So

358
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Speaker 1: how much time to you for that two and a

359
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Speaker 1: half years?

360
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Speaker 3: I really?

361
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Speaker 1: Yeah, So I was actually only supposed to do nine months.

362
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Speaker 1: So they kind of showed me a little bit of grace.

363
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Speaker 1: Was like, hey, his mom died, all these circumstances. So

364
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Speaker 1: I go to juvie at thirteen, start going to court

365
00:17:33,320 --> 00:17:35,920
Speaker 1: and everything, and they sentenced me to nine months TyC,

366
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Speaker 1: which is Texas Youth Commission, basically penitentiary for the youth.

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Speaker 3: Right.

368
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Speaker 1: Well, of course, I've always been a good talker. I

369
00:17:45,040 --> 00:17:48,320
Speaker 1: had leadership skills. I've never been the toughest guy or

370
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Speaker 1: anything else, but I could talk some people into stuff.

371
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Speaker 1: So I go there with the nine month sentence and

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Speaker 1: I tell myself, Okay, well I'm in jail, I need

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Speaker 1: to start a gang. And so I started this little

374
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Speaker 1: click people, and next thing you know, I got hit

375
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Speaker 1: with an organized crime charge inside a juvenile facility and

376
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Speaker 1: I turned my nine months into two and a half years.

377
00:18:07,840 --> 00:18:10,120
Speaker 1: So I'm locked up from thirteen to sixteen years old.

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Speaker 3: Unbelievable. So then from that point did you side after

379
00:18:12,960 --> 00:18:14,439
Speaker 3: you got hit with that? Did you decide just to

380
00:18:14,480 --> 00:18:16,320
Speaker 3: do your time and just to get out?

381
00:18:16,600 --> 00:18:19,040
Speaker 1: Well no, so they actually they shipped me to this

382
00:18:19,119 --> 00:18:23,880
Speaker 1: place called Gulf Coast. It's in Huntsville, Texas, actually New Waverley.

383
00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:27,760
Speaker 1: But so basically what they said is like if we

384
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Speaker 1: don't make you do anything like you're this is going

385
00:18:31,440 --> 00:18:33,200
Speaker 1: to be the rest of your life. It's crazy how

386
00:18:34,240 --> 00:18:38,760
Speaker 1: looking back, how much God was still seeking after me,

387
00:18:39,119 --> 00:18:42,240
Speaker 1: Like how much God was putting stuff in place for

388
00:18:42,359 --> 00:18:44,439
Speaker 1: my future and I didn't even realize it. So they

389
00:18:44,520 --> 00:18:47,440
Speaker 1: sent me to Gulf Coast And basically the only way

390
00:18:47,440 --> 00:18:49,720
Speaker 1: to be eligible for release is you have to get

391
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Speaker 1: a GED, past your learners Permit test and get a

392
00:18:53,280 --> 00:18:56,520
Speaker 1: builder's trade and if you do that, then you're eligible

393
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Speaker 1: for release. So I'm like, okay, you gave me some goals,

394
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Speaker 1: you tell me I could get out of here. Six

395
00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:04,600
Speaker 1: months later, I got my GED, passed my learner's permit

396
00:19:04,680 --> 00:19:08,400
Speaker 1: test and I had a builder's trade in painting and remodeling. Perfect,

397
00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:09,600
Speaker 1: and so I get released.

398
00:19:09,720 --> 00:19:12,919
Speaker 3: That's amazing. So now this is the question. When you

399
00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:16,520
Speaker 3: get out, do you go back to gang banying or

400
00:19:16,560 --> 00:19:18,800
Speaker 3: do you actually put these these trades into place?

401
00:19:18,920 --> 00:19:19,080
Speaker 1: No?

402
00:19:20,240 --> 00:19:21,560
Speaker 3: Right, like so easy money right?

403
00:19:21,640 --> 00:19:23,879
Speaker 1: Well, well, well not even that right, Like it's almost

404
00:19:23,960 --> 00:19:27,360
Speaker 1: like a discouragement because you get out with all these

405
00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:31,080
Speaker 1: aspirations of like, man, I'm gonna go get a real diploma,

406
00:19:32,040 --> 00:19:34,879
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go get a job and all this other stuff. Well,

407
00:19:34,920 --> 00:19:37,199
Speaker 1: then you get out and it's like I walked to

408
00:19:37,240 --> 00:19:40,639
Speaker 1: the high school and they're like, hey, man, you can't

409
00:19:40,640 --> 00:19:41,400
Speaker 1: go to school here.

410
00:19:42,400 --> 00:19:42,480
Speaker 3: No.

411
00:19:42,600 --> 00:19:45,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, like like like you got your gd just be

412
00:19:45,560 --> 00:19:48,440
Speaker 1: good with that, right. I try to get a job

413
00:19:48,520 --> 00:19:50,800
Speaker 1: and it's like I'm the sixteen year old kid and

414
00:19:50,840 --> 00:19:53,560
Speaker 1: there's the crime. Nope. Yeah, they're like no, you know,

415
00:19:54,359 --> 00:19:58,440
Speaker 1: and and so and then you're surrounding job. That's so true.

416
00:19:58,680 --> 00:20:00,200
Speaker 1: They get you out, yeah.

417
00:20:00,040 --> 00:20:01,919
Speaker 3: And then when you feast, the real music is back

418
00:20:01,920 --> 00:20:03,200
Speaker 3: and I was like, now I'm not touching you.

419
00:20:03,280 --> 00:20:06,240
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah yeah, Well, and then I'm surrounded by everything

420
00:20:06,280 --> 00:20:06,960
Speaker 1: in my neighborhood.

421
00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:08,040
Speaker 3: Right, So you're back in the neighborhood.

422
00:20:08,080 --> 00:20:11,040
Speaker 1: So I'm back in the neighborhood. So it's like, okay, well, uh,

423
00:20:11,560 --> 00:20:14,480
Speaker 1: this is available, and so yeah, you just go right

424
00:20:14,520 --> 00:20:15,040
Speaker 1: back to it.

425
00:20:15,359 --> 00:20:17,960
Speaker 3: Okay, so you're sixteen at this point, yeap, when you're out,

426
00:20:18,480 --> 00:20:21,800
Speaker 3: so you're going back, You're you're saying stuff. What was

427
00:20:21,840 --> 00:20:23,800
Speaker 3: the next pivot moment you feel like where God was

428
00:20:23,880 --> 00:20:26,280
Speaker 3: kind of interceding or changing directions?

429
00:20:26,520 --> 00:20:29,640
Speaker 1: You know, I can't think of a moment during that

430
00:20:29,760 --> 00:20:32,760
Speaker 1: time period that I can recall that I felt like, Man,

431
00:20:32,800 --> 00:20:34,800
Speaker 1: God was really with me. I felt like I was

432
00:20:34,840 --> 00:20:38,680
Speaker 1: completely living for the world and just totally and now

433
00:20:38,720 --> 00:20:41,520
Speaker 1: mind you, I didn't believe in God, so I didn't

434
00:20:41,600 --> 00:20:44,880
Speaker 1: view anything through that lens. So I was just kind

435
00:20:44,920 --> 00:20:48,000
Speaker 1: of in it. I made some connections while I was

436
00:20:48,040 --> 00:20:50,920
Speaker 1: incarcerated in juvenile Did Jesus.

437
00:20:50,560 --> 00:20:52,240
Speaker 3: Ever, Okay, go ahead, tell me about that. Then I

438
00:20:52,240 --> 00:20:54,399
Speaker 3: want to ask you, did anyone ever even cross your

439
00:20:54,400 --> 00:20:57,800
Speaker 3: path with any message from Jesus? Yeah? When you were

440
00:20:57,800 --> 00:20:58,160
Speaker 3: in jail?

441
00:20:58,280 --> 00:21:02,439
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah. But so I made some connections with this

442
00:21:02,520 --> 00:21:06,280
Speaker 1: dude from San Antonio, and I remember the whole time

443
00:21:06,359 --> 00:21:07,720
Speaker 1: we were locked up, he was part of my little

444
00:21:07,720 --> 00:21:10,480
Speaker 1: clique that I started in there. He would tell me, hey,

445
00:21:10,920 --> 00:21:12,800
Speaker 1: if you every want make some real money, like my

446
00:21:12,880 --> 00:21:15,560
Speaker 1: brother has got it, like you could call him get

447
00:21:15,600 --> 00:21:19,960
Speaker 1: the best prices weed, coke, Yeah, yeah, y'ada, And I

448
00:21:19,960 --> 00:21:21,720
Speaker 1: would just kind of be like, all right, yeah whatever. Well,

449
00:21:21,760 --> 00:21:24,440
Speaker 1: whenever I'm getting released, he gives me his number, sends

450
00:21:24,520 --> 00:21:26,800
Speaker 1: me a kite, and gives me his brother's number, And

451
00:21:26,880 --> 00:21:29,440
Speaker 1: so I go back to just doing stuff in the neighborhood.

452
00:21:29,480 --> 00:21:32,120
Speaker 1: And one day I'm like, I'm gonna just call this dude,

453
00:21:32,200 --> 00:21:34,560
Speaker 1: see what's up. And it turns out he wasn't joking.

454
00:21:35,240 --> 00:21:39,080
Speaker 1: He was, you know, one of the cartels people. And

455
00:21:39,640 --> 00:21:42,520
Speaker 1: next thing you know, I start picking up several pounds

456
00:21:42,520 --> 00:21:45,479
Speaker 1: of weed and coke and start selling it. And so

457
00:21:46,119 --> 00:21:48,879
Speaker 1: throughout my life, I've always had this like there's this

458
00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:52,320
Speaker 1: small little idea and then it turns into this huge thing.

459
00:21:52,880 --> 00:21:55,639
Speaker 1: Like it's just how it's always been. So it starts

460
00:21:55,640 --> 00:21:58,440
Speaker 1: off as this small hey man, I'm gonna just do this,

461
00:21:58,560 --> 00:22:01,440
Speaker 1: see what happens, and then next you know, I'm sitting

462
00:22:01,480 --> 00:22:03,480
Speaker 1: in jail for two and a half years or making

463
00:22:03,560 --> 00:22:06,399
Speaker 1: upwards of sixty thousand dollars a month selling dope. I

464
00:22:06,440 --> 00:22:09,760
Speaker 1: had a pipeline from Houston to Columbia, South Carolina. And

465
00:22:09,800 --> 00:22:12,240
Speaker 1: it's like, man, if we had the time, I could

466
00:22:12,320 --> 00:22:15,840
Speaker 1: break down how all that happened. But you know, man,

467
00:22:16,280 --> 00:22:18,199
Speaker 1: this is one thing I love about this is like

468
00:22:18,240 --> 00:22:21,199
Speaker 1: it's about bringing God glory, you know.

469
00:22:22,040 --> 00:22:27,360
Speaker 3: But it's good though, to talk about how serious your

470
00:22:27,400 --> 00:22:30,960
Speaker 3: life was and the options and the stuff that you

471
00:22:31,000 --> 00:22:35,160
Speaker 3: had available to you to when God intercedes.

472
00:22:35,280 --> 00:22:36,320
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I mean.

473
00:22:36,280 --> 00:22:38,280
Speaker 3: Think about how much money that is. I mean, it's

474
00:22:38,320 --> 00:22:40,520
Speaker 3: a lot of dough to be making to.

475
00:22:40,600 --> 00:22:42,959
Speaker 1: Just yeah, well we had a little network, man, you know,

476
00:22:43,160 --> 00:22:45,840
Speaker 1: just to you know. They're like, oh, Columbia, South Carolina,

477
00:22:45,960 --> 00:22:49,840
Speaker 1: Like that sounds really random. Well it's crazy because one

478
00:22:49,880 --> 00:22:52,840
Speaker 1: of the dudes I was locked up with we became friends.

479
00:22:53,200 --> 00:22:56,040
Speaker 1: He went on a furlough while we were incarcerated together

480
00:22:56,040 --> 00:23:00,760
Speaker 1: as juveniles. On his furlough, he gets locked up, you know,

481
00:23:00,920 --> 00:23:03,760
Speaker 1: while he's on his furlough, and so the judge is like, hey,

482
00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:07,359
Speaker 1: army or prison, that's your options. So he goes and

483
00:23:07,440 --> 00:23:11,520
Speaker 1: enlists in the army and literally rode with his mom

484
00:23:12,080 --> 00:23:15,720
Speaker 1: and a few of his family members to Columbia, South Carolina,

485
00:23:16,000 --> 00:23:19,800
Speaker 1: where he was graduating from boot camp Basic Trading, and

486
00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:23,640
Speaker 1: on that trip I made connections in Atlanta, Pensacola, Florida,

487
00:23:24,480 --> 00:23:28,240
Speaker 1: in Columbia, South Carolina to distribute drugs too.

488
00:23:28,680 --> 00:23:29,440
Speaker 3: Is that crazy?

489
00:23:29,600 --> 00:23:33,120
Speaker 1: Like it's just again, it's like, you know, how does

490
00:23:33,160 --> 00:23:36,400
Speaker 1: this happen? I was just like, oh, well, yeah, we're

491
00:23:36,400 --> 00:23:38,440
Speaker 1: going to Columbia South Let's stop in Atlanta and see

492
00:23:38,480 --> 00:23:41,880
Speaker 1: if anybody wants to buy a pound, and like now

493
00:23:42,040 --> 00:23:43,800
Speaker 1: you know, and then I made a connection there. It's

494
00:23:43,880 --> 00:23:44,359
Speaker 1: just wild.

495
00:23:44,840 --> 00:23:48,720
Speaker 3: So we're gonna we're coming to the half of the show. Now,

496
00:23:48,800 --> 00:23:52,919
Speaker 3: what was it that led you to the moment where

497
00:23:53,920 --> 00:23:57,720
Speaker 3: you found God? Basically? Okay, so oh but I do

498
00:23:57,800 --> 00:24:00,400
Speaker 3: want to have you answer that question though about when

499
00:24:00,400 --> 00:24:02,080
Speaker 3: you were locked up, because a lot of people find

500
00:24:02,160 --> 00:24:06,439
Speaker 3: jail are find God in jail, right? Was there a

501
00:24:06,480 --> 00:24:08,639
Speaker 3: guinea Bible giving to you? Was there a counselor was

502
00:24:08,640 --> 00:24:10,480
Speaker 3: there a Christian that kind of hit you up? Yeah?

503
00:24:10,480 --> 00:24:12,400
Speaker 1: Man, they had all kinds of stuff. I remember there

504
00:24:12,440 --> 00:24:14,679
Speaker 1: was this guy that would show up and it was

505
00:24:14,800 --> 00:24:17,159
Speaker 1: just like, hey, man, I want to tell you about Jesus,

506
00:24:17,480 --> 00:24:19,200
Speaker 1: hang out with some of us and everything.

507
00:24:19,640 --> 00:24:19,720
Speaker 3: Uh.

508
00:24:19,800 --> 00:24:22,440
Speaker 1: They actually while I was at Gulf Coast. They allowed

509
00:24:22,680 --> 00:24:25,320
Speaker 1: him to take us to Taco Bell to get something.

510
00:24:25,359 --> 00:24:27,679
Speaker 1: Oh really okay, yeah, like you because you work your

511
00:24:27,720 --> 00:24:31,119
Speaker 1: way up there at Golf Coast And yeah, so people

512
00:24:31,320 --> 00:24:34,800
Speaker 1: definitely told me about Christ.

513
00:24:34,960 --> 00:24:37,760
Speaker 3: How did the gospel affect you when it hits you

514
00:24:38,320 --> 00:24:41,040
Speaker 3: as a as like, yeah, this guy's talking to you

515
00:24:41,080 --> 00:24:43,520
Speaker 3: in jail, just over your head. You just weren't about

516
00:24:43,560 --> 00:24:45,760
Speaker 3: it or were you actually listening to any of it?

517
00:24:46,320 --> 00:24:48,600
Speaker 1: No, no, no, no, it was all fake to me.

518
00:24:48,720 --> 00:24:51,680
Speaker 1: Yeah right, this is all just a man made thing.

519
00:24:52,840 --> 00:24:55,480
Speaker 1: Like I don't care about who he is or anything else.

520
00:24:55,640 --> 00:24:57,679
Speaker 1: I know that Like if I come in here, I

521
00:24:57,720 --> 00:24:59,440
Speaker 1: sit down and I talked to you, A, I get

522
00:24:59,440 --> 00:25:02,000
Speaker 1: out of the door, b I get a Snickers bar,

523
00:25:02,160 --> 00:25:03,960
Speaker 1: and heck, I even got a trip to Taco Bell

524
00:25:04,000 --> 00:25:05,240
Speaker 1: behind it. You know what I'm saying, gotcha?

525
00:25:05,280 --> 00:25:07,880
Speaker 3: Gotcha? Yeah? Cause it's like it's all about that timing

526
00:25:08,119 --> 00:25:10,480
Speaker 3: right with the gospel. Because I grew up, I walked

527
00:25:10,480 --> 00:25:12,960
Speaker 3: away from God for I think like twenty five years

528
00:25:13,000 --> 00:25:14,480
Speaker 3: of my life. Didn't want nothing to do with God.

529
00:25:14,520 --> 00:25:16,760
Speaker 3: And my dad and different people would say suff to

530
00:25:16,840 --> 00:25:18,439
Speaker 3: me and he would just bounce off me because I did.

531
00:25:18,720 --> 00:25:21,119
Speaker 3: I just I wasn't about it. I didn't care. But

532
00:25:21,160 --> 00:25:23,720
Speaker 3: then there's that moment that it all clicks, and that's

533
00:25:23,720 --> 00:25:25,120
Speaker 3: the moment that I want to get into you now.

534
00:25:25,160 --> 00:25:28,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, the word says that just the right time, right,

535
00:25:28,760 --> 00:25:31,240
Speaker 1: you know, and so it's like man, and for me,

536
00:25:31,480 --> 00:25:35,480
Speaker 1: that was several years later. So just to kind of

537
00:25:35,920 --> 00:25:38,720
Speaker 1: fill it in, So I started making all this money.

538
00:25:38,840 --> 00:25:40,480
Speaker 1: Next thing, you know, I get involved with the gang

539
00:25:40,520 --> 00:25:44,760
Speaker 1: related shooting in my front yard. A person ends up dying,

540
00:25:44,920 --> 00:25:48,760
Speaker 1: and then I get incarcerated for Originally my charge was

541
00:25:48,760 --> 00:25:52,879
Speaker 1: aggravated assault with a deadly weapon. Then the victim died

542
00:25:53,440 --> 00:25:56,040
Speaker 1: a month later due to complications of the gun wound.

543
00:25:56,320 --> 00:25:57,640
Speaker 1: And they helped me to murder too.

544
00:25:58,240 --> 00:26:01,000
Speaker 3: And so now how old you at this point, seventeen

545
00:26:01,359 --> 00:26:02,320
Speaker 3: seventeen years old?

546
00:26:02,440 --> 00:26:05,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, so I was only selling narcotics on that level

547
00:26:05,280 --> 00:26:08,359
Speaker 1: for less than a year, right, you know what I'm saying.

548
00:26:08,359 --> 00:26:10,240
Speaker 1: It happened when you're in that world, right, right. So

549
00:26:10,320 --> 00:26:12,080
Speaker 1: there's a lot that I seen a lot of stuff

550
00:26:12,119 --> 00:26:15,320
Speaker 1: that occurred, you know, just more trauma, more trauma, more trauma,

551
00:26:15,520 --> 00:26:20,160
Speaker 1: just making me more and more of a crazy person. Yeah.

552
00:26:20,200 --> 00:26:23,359
Speaker 1: But so yeah, seventeen, I get incarcerated on a murder charge,

553
00:26:23,960 --> 00:26:27,840
Speaker 1: fight the case until I'm about eighteen, and then I

554
00:26:27,920 --> 00:26:31,760
Speaker 1: eventually catch change, catch chain on a life without sentence

555
00:26:31,800 --> 00:26:32,760
Speaker 1: on the murder charge.

556
00:26:33,240 --> 00:26:34,400
Speaker 3: Life without sentence.

557
00:26:34,600 --> 00:26:39,200
Speaker 1: Yeah. So basically they convicted me and they sentenced me

558
00:26:39,240 --> 00:26:41,600
Speaker 1: to life without without the possibility of parole.

559
00:26:41,800 --> 00:26:44,239
Speaker 3: That's insane, and all this is happening when you're you're

560
00:26:44,280 --> 00:26:46,679
Speaker 3: eighteen now yeah, yeah, I mean, now you're going to to.

561
00:26:47,119 --> 00:26:51,400
Speaker 1: The I'm literally in court and they you know, I've

562
00:26:51,440 --> 00:26:53,800
Speaker 1: been talking to my lawyer through this glass and these

563
00:26:53,800 --> 00:26:56,480
Speaker 1: holding sales and stuff, and there was this older guy

564
00:26:56,520 --> 00:26:59,480
Speaker 1: in there, and I remember I had two codefendants on

565
00:26:59,520 --> 00:27:02,440
Speaker 1: the case, wanted which had kind of made a deal

566
00:27:02,880 --> 00:27:04,840
Speaker 1: and said, look, you give me thirty five years, I'll

567
00:27:04,840 --> 00:27:09,040
Speaker 1: sign the paper, you know. And the other co defended

568
00:27:09,200 --> 00:27:12,760
Speaker 1: was one of my closest friends. He was my best friend,

569
00:27:13,440 --> 00:27:16,840
Speaker 1: and he was still on the run at the time.

570
00:27:17,520 --> 00:27:21,639
Speaker 1: And so basically there's so much stuff up in the

571
00:27:21,680 --> 00:27:24,080
Speaker 1: air that it was almost like, look, we're going to

572
00:27:24,160 --> 00:27:26,480
Speaker 1: try to fight this thing on appeals. And so I

573
00:27:26,480 --> 00:27:28,680
Speaker 1: remember I'm sitting in the whole tank. My lawyer comes

574
00:27:28,720 --> 00:27:32,400
Speaker 1: to me. He says, hey, they're going to give you life,

575
00:27:32,560 --> 00:27:36,359
Speaker 1: but there's hope. And I'm thinking to myself, like, okay,

576
00:27:36,720 --> 00:27:40,040
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. I'm I'm just like, you know,

577
00:27:40,080 --> 00:27:42,119
Speaker 1: I'm trying to wrap my mind around all this stuff,

578
00:27:42,160 --> 00:27:44,560
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying, Like, I don't know, I

579
00:27:44,600 --> 00:27:46,800
Speaker 1: had never been in love, I ain't never worked a

580
00:27:46,920 --> 00:27:49,280
Speaker 1: job or anything else. And you're telling me that I'm

581
00:27:49,280 --> 00:27:51,880
Speaker 1: gonna spend the rest of my life in prison. And

582
00:27:51,960 --> 00:27:54,119
Speaker 1: so he tells me that. I go back and I

583
00:27:54,160 --> 00:27:57,200
Speaker 1: sit down on the bench in there. There's this older

584
00:27:57,200 --> 00:28:00,760
Speaker 1: guy in there and he he looks at me and

585
00:28:00,800 --> 00:28:04,600
Speaker 1: he says, youngster, your life is over. And I remember

586
00:28:04,800 --> 00:28:07,040
Speaker 1: like that. That's one of those moments that I just

587
00:28:07,119 --> 00:28:10,480
Speaker 1: like I remember and I'm like, man, you're right, my

588
00:28:10,560 --> 00:28:15,199
Speaker 1: life is over. And man, that's a tough pill to swallow.

589
00:28:15,280 --> 00:28:16,240
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's a huge pill.

590
00:28:16,240 --> 00:28:17,040
Speaker 1: Looks swallow, you know.

591
00:28:17,520 --> 00:28:20,560
Speaker 3: So And who's this older guy? Where did he come from?

592
00:28:20,760 --> 00:28:22,800
Speaker 1: He's just some random dude that was waiting court to

593
00:28:23,000 --> 00:28:25,920
Speaker 1: that day. Oh really, yeah, yeah, Like I don't know him,

594
00:28:26,000 --> 00:28:28,000
Speaker 1: don't know his name, didn't know anything about him. He

595
00:28:28,119 --> 00:28:30,439
Speaker 1: was literally in the same holding sell as me, in

596
00:28:30,520 --> 00:28:33,359
Speaker 1: the same courtroom, waiting to hear from his lawyer.

597
00:28:33,520 --> 00:28:35,320
Speaker 3: And when you hear something like this, you're still like

598
00:28:35,440 --> 00:28:37,480
Speaker 3: not even considered there's a God because like it seems

599
00:28:37,480 --> 00:28:39,640
Speaker 3: like when people are at the lowest point, even if

600
00:28:39,640 --> 00:28:42,600
Speaker 3: they don't believe, they're like God, if you're real and

601
00:28:42,640 --> 00:28:43,400
Speaker 3: do you exist her?

602
00:28:43,760 --> 00:28:46,720
Speaker 1: So at that point it was a rebellion, Like it

603
00:28:46,840 --> 00:28:50,760
Speaker 1: was like, I'm not gonna pray to this thing right

604
00:28:51,000 --> 00:28:55,120
Speaker 1: because I don't believe in it and I've never seen

605
00:28:55,160 --> 00:28:57,360
Speaker 1: it work for nobody, you know what I'm saying.

606
00:28:58,120 --> 00:29:00,000
Speaker 3: No, that's that's a hardcore atheist for sure.

607
00:29:00,120 --> 00:29:02,040
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, so I'm like, I'm not, I'm not, I'm

608
00:29:02,080 --> 00:29:04,600
Speaker 1: not even gonna pray in this moment. That's one of

609
00:29:04,600 --> 00:29:07,360
Speaker 1: those men. I'm still trying to figure out how I'm

610
00:29:07,480 --> 00:29:09,080
Speaker 1: gonna wrap my mind.

611
00:29:09,200 --> 00:29:11,520
Speaker 3: Around this situation. Okay, hey, we're gonna be going to

612
00:29:11,760 --> 00:29:14,640
Speaker 3: break in a minute. This story is I can't wait

613
00:29:14,680 --> 00:29:17,360
Speaker 3: to hear how this whole thing, how you encounter God

614
00:29:17,400 --> 00:29:20,640
Speaker 3: because this is like super gnarly the stuff that you've

615
00:29:20,640 --> 00:29:23,240
Speaker 3: been through and now here you are, you're you're getting

616
00:29:23,480 --> 00:29:26,640
Speaker 3: life sentence. Yeah, and there's an old guy that says

617
00:29:26,640 --> 00:29:28,960
Speaker 3: that you're done, your life is over. I'm sure that's

618
00:29:29,000 --> 00:29:31,720
Speaker 3: sunk in real nice. We have Brian Rutger. He's the

619
00:29:31,760 --> 00:29:36,640
Speaker 3: director of Celebrate Recovery at wf R Church in West Monroau, Louisiana,

620
00:29:36,720 --> 00:29:39,760
Speaker 3: and he's also a former cast of the Member. You're

621
00:29:39,760 --> 00:29:42,840
Speaker 3: a member of the Duck Dynasty crew, So awesome privilege

622
00:29:42,880 --> 00:29:44,280
Speaker 3: to have you in here. And we'll be back in

623
00:29:44,320 --> 00:29:45,640
Speaker 3: two minutes right after the break.

624
00:29:45,720 --> 00:29:50,720
Speaker 2: Cool more of The Ryan Reese Show coming up. Host

625
00:29:50,840 --> 00:29:55,480
Speaker 2: your questions at Ryan Reeese Audi, Instagram, Twitter, and or Facebook.

626
00:30:30,560 --> 00:30:33,840
Speaker 2: Now back back to The Ryan Reese Show.

627
00:30:34,200 --> 00:30:36,360
Speaker 3: All right, if you guys been tuning in on this

628
00:30:36,480 --> 00:30:41,440
Speaker 3: last half, this show has been intense talking about someone's life,

629
00:30:41,440 --> 00:30:46,480
Speaker 3: Brian Rucker. Just everything that you have been through atheists

630
00:30:47,760 --> 00:30:50,880
Speaker 3: selling from a young age, growing up in a fatherless home,

631
00:30:52,120 --> 00:30:56,480
Speaker 3: losing your mother at thirteen years old, and then going

632
00:30:56,520 --> 00:31:01,000
Speaker 3: to prison, getting out and then going back to the life.

633
00:31:01,280 --> 00:31:03,280
Speaker 3: You know, you had an option to change your life.

634
00:31:03,280 --> 00:31:04,840
Speaker 3: But then again, it's like when you come out of prison,

635
00:31:04,920 --> 00:31:08,160
Speaker 3: it's like no one wants to take a chance on you.

636
00:31:08,240 --> 00:31:13,760
Speaker 3: It's unfortunate. But here you are now facing a life sentence.

637
00:31:13,800 --> 00:31:15,440
Speaker 3: And if you guys don't know Brian Rutger, he's the

638
00:31:15,520 --> 00:31:18,360
Speaker 3: director of the Celebrate Recovery, which, by the way, is

639
00:31:18,400 --> 00:31:21,560
Speaker 3: an amazing program. I've spoke at tons of them, like

640
00:31:21,640 --> 00:31:26,400
Speaker 3: in different states. I'm a really awesome recovery program. He's

641
00:31:26,400 --> 00:31:30,400
Speaker 3: with the wr Church in West Monroe, Louisiana. He's the

642
00:31:30,440 --> 00:31:32,920
Speaker 3: former cast member of the Duck Dynasty. That's how I

643
00:31:32,960 --> 00:31:36,280
Speaker 3: got connected with you through Anngie Clausen and that whole group.

644
00:31:36,360 --> 00:31:39,360
Speaker 3: So just an awesome time to have you here. But

645
00:31:39,520 --> 00:31:42,120
Speaker 3: here we are at this moment. I mean, I'm at dude,

646
00:31:42,160 --> 00:31:44,400
Speaker 3: I'm pumped to hear what's going to happen here because

647
00:31:45,600 --> 00:31:48,560
Speaker 3: I couldn't even imagine being in your shoes at eighteen

648
00:31:48,600 --> 00:31:51,840
Speaker 3: years old, right doing life and you're in court and

649
00:31:51,880 --> 00:31:54,000
Speaker 3: some random old dude looks over and goes, youngster, your

650
00:31:54,040 --> 00:31:56,760
Speaker 3: life is ruined. Now was he there going Was he

651
00:31:56,800 --> 00:31:58,320
Speaker 3: in the process of going to jail as well?

652
00:31:58,400 --> 00:32:00,520
Speaker 1: Or yeah, no, he was. We'll say we were already

653
00:32:00,520 --> 00:32:03,440
Speaker 1: in jail and he's sitting there waiting to hear from

654
00:32:03,440 --> 00:32:06,800
Speaker 1: his lawyer. He's sitting there with you, but he's older, yeah, yeah,

655
00:32:06,840 --> 00:32:09,440
Speaker 1: and he's like and he just looks over and he's like, youngster,

656
00:32:09,520 --> 00:32:13,600
Speaker 1: your life is over, you know, And I'm like, yeah,

657
00:32:13,920 --> 00:32:18,160
Speaker 1: it is so you know, man, from that process, you

658
00:32:18,200 --> 00:32:21,040
Speaker 1: know it was, man, I was so torn on so

659
00:32:21,120 --> 00:32:23,760
Speaker 1: many different levels because I catch chain, I go to prison,

660
00:32:24,240 --> 00:32:28,400
Speaker 1: and you know, I got I got lawyers and my

661
00:32:28,480 --> 00:32:31,640
Speaker 1: grandmother at the time telling me like, hey, there's hope,

662
00:32:31,680 --> 00:32:34,440
Speaker 1: Like they filed for a speedy appeal. So I started

663
00:32:34,480 --> 00:32:38,320
Speaker 1: going back to court quickly. And so I went on

664
00:32:38,360 --> 00:32:41,120
Speaker 1: what they call in the Texas prison system of Texas

665
00:32:41,160 --> 00:32:44,200
Speaker 1: tour and so basically I hit nine different units in

666
00:32:44,280 --> 00:32:46,720
Speaker 1: less than four years. And that was because I was

667
00:32:46,760 --> 00:32:50,480
Speaker 1: on appials. So I never could get comfortable anywhere. I

668
00:32:50,520 --> 00:32:54,720
Speaker 1: would get somewhere, get comfortable, have to fade the wall

669
00:32:54,760 --> 00:32:57,440
Speaker 1: with some dudes, and then like they would ship me

670
00:32:57,480 --> 00:33:00,760
Speaker 1: back to county. I would go through my court dates

671
00:33:00,800 --> 00:33:02,680
Speaker 1: and everything, then they would ship me back. It was

672
00:33:02,760 --> 00:33:06,800
Speaker 1: this back and forth all the time, and you know

673
00:33:06,880 --> 00:33:09,240
Speaker 1: it was you know, prison for me was really tough

674
00:33:09,400 --> 00:33:14,480
Speaker 1: because just like prison here in California, it's all racially motivated. Right,

675
00:33:14,560 --> 00:33:18,480
Speaker 1: So I'm part of and have tattoos of a black

676
00:33:18,520 --> 00:33:21,120
Speaker 1: street gang because I grew up in a black neighborhood.

677
00:33:21,200 --> 00:33:25,000
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, and then I look like I'm Hispanic and

678
00:33:25,200 --> 00:33:27,000
Speaker 1: I'm a white dude, you know what I mean, you

679
00:33:27,080 --> 00:33:29,920
Speaker 1: got it all. So it was like, you know, which

680
00:33:29,960 --> 00:33:31,720
Speaker 1: helped me a lot whenever I was selling drugs. But

681
00:33:31,760 --> 00:33:33,280
Speaker 1: when you go to prison, all of a sudden, there's

682
00:33:33,280 --> 00:33:36,240
Speaker 1: these questions that you don't even really, I don't know,

683
00:33:36,440 --> 00:33:37,719
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying, Just who do I need

684
00:33:37,760 --> 00:33:40,240
Speaker 1: to fight? And like let's get it over with, you know, right,

685
00:33:41,280 --> 00:33:44,080
Speaker 1: and so uh so, yeah, man, you know it was.

686
00:33:44,200 --> 00:33:48,720
Speaker 1: It was a rough process, just under four years fighting

687
00:33:48,720 --> 00:33:51,360
Speaker 1: them on appills and I end up beating the charges

688
00:33:51,400 --> 00:33:56,400
Speaker 1: and getting released. How I beat the charges is, you know, man,

689
00:33:56,480 --> 00:33:59,800
Speaker 1: it's a It's an act of God and working through

690
00:34:00,960 --> 00:34:04,760
Speaker 1: people that are not Christians like man. You know, I

691
00:34:04,800 --> 00:34:08,560
Speaker 1: think a lot of times we think that, you know,

692
00:34:08,680 --> 00:34:11,360
Speaker 1: in order for God to show up, you have to

693
00:34:11,520 --> 00:34:15,520
Speaker 1: be living in that space. But you know, there's that

694
00:34:15,640 --> 00:34:18,719
Speaker 1: song there's no mountain he won't tear down, or wall

695
00:34:18,800 --> 00:34:22,680
Speaker 1: he won't break down coming after you. And so ultimately

696
00:34:22,880 --> 00:34:25,040
Speaker 1: just the short version of how I beat the charges.

697
00:34:25,760 --> 00:34:28,680
Speaker 1: One of my closest friends was also my co defendant.

698
00:34:29,239 --> 00:34:31,759
Speaker 1: He got into a shootout with the police as he

699
00:34:31,800 --> 00:34:34,840
Speaker 1: was getting apprehended on the original murder charge, killed a

700
00:34:34,880 --> 00:34:38,640
Speaker 1: police officer, he got sentenced to death, was given the

701
00:34:38,719 --> 00:34:42,719
Speaker 1: death penalty, and from death Row wrote an affidavit to

702
00:34:42,840 --> 00:34:47,160
Speaker 1: the DA taking credit for the original murder. And ultimately,

703
00:34:47,760 --> 00:34:51,680
Speaker 1: after it was submitted into evidence. Oh yeah, no, yes,

704
00:34:52,400 --> 00:34:56,600
Speaker 1: after it submitted in evidence, it basically gave me my

705
00:34:56,680 --> 00:35:00,200
Speaker 1: next it gave me a chance to live. Wow. And

706
00:35:00,280 --> 00:35:04,000
Speaker 1: so then yeah, a few months later I get released

707
00:35:04,640 --> 00:35:08,319
Speaker 1: and so and so. Yeah, and that's a you know,

708
00:35:08,480 --> 00:35:14,480
Speaker 1: man's that's usually that's the hardest part of this story

709
00:35:14,520 --> 00:35:20,200
Speaker 1: to tell because I don't know why other than the

710
00:35:20,239 --> 00:35:23,320
Speaker 1: Holy Spirit was in the midst of doing something because

711
00:35:23,719 --> 00:35:26,360
Speaker 1: he had plans for my life. And I'll kind of

712
00:35:26,360 --> 00:35:27,880
Speaker 1: get into that here in a little bit on like

713
00:35:27,920 --> 00:35:31,960
Speaker 1: how that led to my conversion, right, Yeah, But at

714
00:35:32,000 --> 00:35:35,080
Speaker 1: the time, it's just like, okay, I'm out. So right

715
00:35:35,120 --> 00:35:37,799
Speaker 1: around the time I'm twenty two years old, I just

716
00:35:37,880 --> 00:35:41,040
Speaker 1: wrapped my mind around the fact. Because I'm still not

717
00:35:41,200 --> 00:35:42,960
Speaker 1: able to wrap my mind around the fact that this

718
00:35:43,080 --> 00:35:46,239
Speaker 1: is my life. I'm getting pulled in several directions. So

719
00:35:46,280 --> 00:35:49,040
Speaker 1: at twenty two years old, I finally am like coming

720
00:35:49,080 --> 00:35:51,439
Speaker 1: to terms, Okay, this is going to be the rest

721
00:35:51,440 --> 00:35:53,279
Speaker 1: of my life. I need to try to get to

722
00:35:53,400 --> 00:35:56,719
Speaker 1: like the bird unit, just like get into some classes,

723
00:35:56,840 --> 00:35:59,680
Speaker 1: like you know, and then I get released and I'm

724
00:35:59,719 --> 00:36:02,279
Speaker 1: right back in the same neighborhood that I was at.

725
00:36:02,640 --> 00:36:04,719
Speaker 3: So what is going on in your mind now? Because

726
00:36:04,719 --> 00:36:09,480
Speaker 3: I mean, did you've been through helling back facing you know, life,

727
00:36:09,680 --> 00:36:12,160
Speaker 3: and now you're back in the neighborhood. What in the

728
00:36:12,200 --> 00:36:12,960
Speaker 3: heck are you thinking?

729
00:36:13,080 --> 00:36:14,839
Speaker 1: I wish I could say that there was a whole

730
00:36:14,920 --> 00:36:17,560
Speaker 1: lot of conscious thought. You're in it all, but man,

731
00:36:17,600 --> 00:36:20,120
Speaker 1: you're kind of just like I don't want to say

732
00:36:20,160 --> 00:36:23,200
Speaker 1: you're going with the flow, because you're slipping further and

733
00:36:23,200 --> 00:36:27,400
Speaker 1: further into madness as all these changes and shifts are happening.

734
00:36:27,680 --> 00:36:31,040
Speaker 1: You're on this mental roller coaster. So I wish I

735
00:36:31,040 --> 00:36:34,560
Speaker 1: could say that I was consciously thinking, because you don't

736
00:36:34,560 --> 00:36:36,799
Speaker 1: do that when you're in it. When you look back,

737
00:36:36,840 --> 00:36:40,080
Speaker 1: you're like, man, I was so thrown off in the head,

738
00:36:40,600 --> 00:36:43,480
Speaker 1: you know, but like at the time, you're just in

739
00:36:43,560 --> 00:36:46,080
Speaker 1: the here. If you're in the here and now this

740
00:36:46,160 --> 00:36:49,080
Speaker 1: is what's happening, Like Okay, I'm getting released, right back

741
00:36:49,120 --> 00:36:52,319
Speaker 1: in the same neighborhood, and so yeah, man, like I

742
00:36:52,400 --> 00:36:57,160
Speaker 1: was just I was just slip finding myself further and further,

743
00:36:57,200 --> 00:37:01,600
Speaker 1: not knowing further and further away from who God designed

744
00:37:01,600 --> 00:37:04,479
Speaker 1: me to be, Like I was turning into this other thing.

745
00:37:05,160 --> 00:37:07,960
Speaker 1: You know, I didn't even feel like a human sometimes,

746
00:37:08,000 --> 00:37:10,719
Speaker 1: Like you know, there was times where I thought that, like, man,

747
00:37:10,760 --> 00:37:13,680
Speaker 1: this is you know, it's funny people nowadays are the

748
00:37:14,040 --> 00:37:17,160
Speaker 1: matrix thing, like this is all the simulation, Like dude,

749
00:37:17,200 --> 00:37:19,759
Speaker 1: I felt like that back then, Like I'm like, man,

750
00:37:19,800 --> 00:37:21,759
Speaker 1: this is none of this is real, Like what is

751
00:37:22,200 --> 00:37:23,680
Speaker 1: you know, I didn't know what to believe. I didn't

752
00:37:23,719 --> 00:37:26,680
Speaker 1: know what was going on, and so, like you know,

753
00:37:26,840 --> 00:37:29,920
Speaker 1: I ended up right back where I started. And as

754
00:37:29,960 --> 00:37:33,040
Speaker 1: soon as I get to the neighborhood, the cops show

755
00:37:33,120 --> 00:37:35,040
Speaker 1: up and they hem me up and they said, hey,

756
00:37:35,480 --> 00:37:37,440
Speaker 1: no matter what we got to do, we're gonna get

757
00:37:37,440 --> 00:37:39,480
Speaker 1: you off the street. She was never supposed to get.

758
00:37:39,360 --> 00:37:40,680
Speaker 3: Out, oh my goodness.

759
00:37:40,719 --> 00:37:43,400
Speaker 1: And so I literally was like I thought that they

760
00:37:43,400 --> 00:37:45,480
Speaker 1: were either gonna set me up or they were going

761
00:37:45,560 --> 00:37:48,520
Speaker 1: to kill me. And so my next thought was like, man,

762
00:37:48,560 --> 00:37:50,279
Speaker 1: I got to get out of Houston, Like I just

763
00:37:50,320 --> 00:37:54,200
Speaker 1: got to get away from here. Yes, And this girl

764
00:37:54,239 --> 00:37:56,839
Speaker 1: I used to mess with just on and on, off

765
00:37:56,880 --> 00:38:00,400
Speaker 1: and on throughout childhood shows up and she's got this

766
00:38:00,440 --> 00:38:03,560
Speaker 1: little girl, this little baby girl, and she's like, hey,

767
00:38:03,600 --> 00:38:05,239
Speaker 1: this could be your daughter, but I don't know if

768
00:38:05,239 --> 00:38:08,680
Speaker 1: it is. And I'm just like, you know what it says.

769
00:38:08,920 --> 00:38:12,960
Speaker 1: I knew it wasn't my daughter, but still it's like, hey,

770
00:38:13,040 --> 00:38:15,600
Speaker 1: we're moving, Like where are you going? Oh, I'm moving

771
00:38:15,640 --> 00:38:19,560
Speaker 1: to Splendora, away from Houston. And I'm like, cool, let's

772
00:38:19,640 --> 00:38:24,839
Speaker 1: ride with That's so and so that's where the next year,

773
00:38:26,320 --> 00:38:28,520
Speaker 1: year and a half, two years was me moving further

774
00:38:28,560 --> 00:38:30,720
Speaker 1: and further away from Houston, thinking that was the answer

775
00:38:30,719 --> 00:38:33,040
Speaker 1: to move somewhere, work a job, get laid off, Move

776
00:38:33,080 --> 00:38:35,600
Speaker 1: somewhere else, work a job, get laid off. We end

777
00:38:35,680 --> 00:38:40,200
Speaker 1: up having my son, and then me and her split up.

778
00:38:40,239 --> 00:38:42,719
Speaker 1: In long story short, i end up in East Texas,

779
00:38:43,080 --> 00:38:46,120
Speaker 1: over by Longview, and I'm working at this Chicken Express

780
00:38:46,480 --> 00:38:48,440
Speaker 1: and I'm like, you know, just trying to make it,

781
00:38:48,560 --> 00:38:51,799
Speaker 1: just trying to be a dad, do something different. You know.

782
00:38:51,920 --> 00:38:55,440
Speaker 1: I was still getting high, still drinking and stuff like,

783
00:38:56,040 --> 00:38:58,600
Speaker 1: but I wasn't selling no drugs and I wouldn't participating

784
00:38:58,600 --> 00:39:02,759
Speaker 1: in any gang activities. Like hey, I'm good, you know

785
00:39:02,800 --> 00:39:06,160
Speaker 1: what I mean. And so, and then I get laid

786
00:39:06,160 --> 00:39:10,120
Speaker 1: off from the job at Chicken Express, and it was

787
00:39:10,200 --> 00:39:14,600
Speaker 1: like I remember thinking like, man, I'm just made to

788
00:39:14,680 --> 00:39:17,040
Speaker 1: sell drugs, Like this is just what I gotta do.

789
00:39:17,640 --> 00:39:20,480
Speaker 1: And so I make a phone call, gets get a

790
00:39:20,480 --> 00:39:22,719
Speaker 1: couple of bricks brought up to Longview, and I'm like, man,

791
00:39:22,719 --> 00:39:25,040
Speaker 1: I'm about to just flood this place, like about to

792
00:39:25,040 --> 00:39:28,520
Speaker 1: take long View over, you know, Houston's here type deal exactly.

793
00:39:28,640 --> 00:39:32,160
Speaker 1: And around that same time period, I found out by

794
00:39:32,160 --> 00:39:35,719
Speaker 1: my grandmother's health. So, after I get convicted of the

795
00:39:35,800 --> 00:39:40,800
Speaker 1: murder and everything, my grandmother moves to West Or Monroe, Louisiana,

796
00:39:40,840 --> 00:39:44,040
Speaker 1: which is where her and my mom are originally from.

797
00:39:44,520 --> 00:39:49,680
Speaker 1: So my mom and my grandmother originally from Monroe, West Monroe, Louisiana.

798
00:39:50,200 --> 00:39:53,480
Speaker 1: And in the early eighties they moved to Houston because

799
00:39:53,480 --> 00:39:56,400
Speaker 1: they were being investigated for like counterfeit money and some

800
00:39:56,440 --> 00:40:00,600
Speaker 1: other like they're just you know, Well, after I get convicted,

801
00:40:00,680 --> 00:40:06,000
Speaker 1: my grandmother moves back to Monroe to be around family.

802
00:40:06,040 --> 00:40:08,560
Speaker 1: You know, she's got other kids that live there and

803
00:40:08,600 --> 00:40:12,680
Speaker 1: everything like that, and so and so I'd got a

804
00:40:12,719 --> 00:40:15,040
Speaker 1: phone call from her and it was like, you know,

805
00:40:15,080 --> 00:40:17,560
Speaker 1: her health wasn't good. She just got out the hospital.

806
00:40:17,840 --> 00:40:21,280
Speaker 1: It was around Christmas time. So I end up going

807
00:40:22,200 --> 00:40:25,680
Speaker 1: to Monroe to visit her. And I'm there and I'm

808
00:40:25,719 --> 00:40:28,520
Speaker 1: standing outside. I'm talking to this lady that's my aunt

809
00:40:28,600 --> 00:40:31,719
Speaker 1: that I don't know really well or anything, and they're

810
00:40:31,760 --> 00:40:33,240
Speaker 1: telling me how they're gonna put her in a nursing

811
00:40:33,280 --> 00:40:35,319
Speaker 1: home because insurance wouldn't pay for someone to be with

812
00:40:35,400 --> 00:40:40,279
Speaker 1: her at night. And for whatever reason, I just said, well,

813
00:40:40,480 --> 00:40:41,319
Speaker 1: I'll move out here.

814
00:40:41,760 --> 00:40:43,399
Speaker 3: So now you're talking about okay, got it.

815
00:40:43,440 --> 00:40:45,200
Speaker 1: Like I'll move out here and take care of my grandma.

816
00:40:45,880 --> 00:40:50,080
Speaker 1: And you know, I didn't really think about it or anything.

817
00:40:50,239 --> 00:40:54,240
Speaker 1: But you know, I hadn't really truly been too scared

818
00:40:54,280 --> 00:40:57,120
Speaker 1: of too much in my life. It's almost been like

819
00:40:57,560 --> 00:41:00,120
Speaker 1: my downfall, you know. Most it's not that I I

820
00:41:00,280 --> 00:41:02,759
Speaker 1: wasn't scared, It's just that I respond to fear in

821
00:41:02,800 --> 00:41:06,160
Speaker 1: a different way than most people. Most people get afraid,

822
00:41:06,360 --> 00:41:09,440
Speaker 1: and then there's this flight. For me. It's all fight, right,

823
00:41:09,520 --> 00:41:13,200
Speaker 1: Like I get scared, I do really outlandish and crazy stuff,

824
00:41:13,200 --> 00:41:16,160
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying, Like I don't stop, and

825
00:41:16,239 --> 00:41:19,680
Speaker 1: so the you know, after having my son, I became

826
00:41:19,760 --> 00:41:23,680
Speaker 1: extremely fearful of like him having the life that I did,

827
00:41:24,360 --> 00:41:27,840
Speaker 1: and so I knew I didn't want to sell drugs,

828
00:41:28,040 --> 00:41:30,480
Speaker 1: but I knew I was going back to it. So

829
00:41:30,520 --> 00:41:33,160
Speaker 1: the the reasoning in my mind is I'm literally driving

830
00:41:33,200 --> 00:41:37,239
Speaker 1: back to East Texas, is like, look, I'll moved to Louisiana,

831
00:41:37,320 --> 00:41:40,360
Speaker 1: get a fresh start. Nobody knows me. It'll be like justin,

832
00:41:40,840 --> 00:41:43,280
Speaker 1: you know. And so I go back to East Texas,

833
00:41:43,360 --> 00:41:45,680
Speaker 1: give the drugs to my roommate, give them the keys

834
00:41:45,719 --> 00:41:48,240
Speaker 1: to the apartment, load up, and I moved them Monroe,

835
00:41:48,280 --> 00:41:50,839
Speaker 1: Louisiana and start taking care of my grandma. I get

836
00:41:50,880 --> 00:41:54,000
Speaker 1: there for a while, and you know, I'm there for

837
00:41:54,040 --> 00:41:56,520
Speaker 1: about a month, get her back on her feet and everything.

838
00:41:56,600 --> 00:41:59,400
Speaker 1: And I start going everywhere looking for a job. McDonald's

839
00:41:59,400 --> 00:42:01,800
Speaker 1: at Taco Bell wouldn't even hire me. No, I couldn't

840
00:42:01,800 --> 00:42:05,160
Speaker 1: get a break nowhere. And you know coming and what

841
00:42:05,280 --> 00:42:09,080
Speaker 1: we'll find out is God had a plan, right. So,

842
00:42:09,520 --> 00:42:12,520
Speaker 1: whenever you hit a roadblock in one area, sometimes we

843
00:42:12,640 --> 00:42:16,200
Speaker 1: think that that roadblock is just meant to be adversity.

844
00:42:16,320 --> 00:42:21,759
Speaker 1: Sometimes it's meant to propel you to your purpose. And

845
00:42:21,880 --> 00:42:27,239
Speaker 1: so I start driving down Thomas Road in Westerner Louisiana.

846
00:42:27,280 --> 00:42:29,760
Speaker 1: I look over to the right, see this big brown building,

847
00:42:30,080 --> 00:42:32,640
Speaker 1: and it's Duck Commander and I'm like, Okay, well I'm

848
00:42:32,640 --> 00:42:35,080
Speaker 1: gonna go in there and ask them for a job. Uh.

849
00:42:35,120 --> 00:42:37,680
Speaker 1: And so I go in there ask them for a job.

850
00:42:38,280 --> 00:42:40,359
Speaker 1: About a month goes by and then they end up

851
00:42:40,400 --> 00:42:43,440
Speaker 1: calling me and I start working at Duck Commander for

852
00:42:43,480 --> 00:42:47,120
Speaker 1: eight dollars an hour folding clothes. You know, there's a

853
00:42:47,160 --> 00:42:50,040
Speaker 1: lot more to that, but but man, I you know,

854
00:42:51,680 --> 00:42:53,960
Speaker 1: I end up getting the job there. They take a

855
00:42:54,000 --> 00:42:57,760
Speaker 1: liking to me based on, you know, just my work ethic,

856
00:42:58,239 --> 00:43:01,120
Speaker 1: and you know, it was obvious I wasn't from there, right,

857
00:43:01,160 --> 00:43:04,880
Speaker 1: Like I showed up with a ball fade, tattoos and

858
00:43:04,880 --> 00:43:08,359
Speaker 1: Dicky's on, you know what I'm saying. And and so

859
00:43:08,440 --> 00:43:10,400
Speaker 1: they'd asked me where I was from and I just

860
00:43:10,480 --> 00:43:13,040
Speaker 1: tell them like what I'd been through and they're like, man,

861
00:43:13,120 --> 00:43:18,200
Speaker 1: you're you're here for a reason. And I'm like I'm like, man,

862
00:43:18,560 --> 00:43:20,800
Speaker 1: I'm just like just don't come to even know Jesus stuff,

863
00:43:20,840 --> 00:43:22,239
Speaker 1: like I'm just trying to feed my kids. I don't

864
00:43:22,239 --> 00:43:23,359
Speaker 1: want to sell drugs to do it.

865
00:43:23,480 --> 00:43:24,480
Speaker 3: Like it's.

866
00:43:26,440 --> 00:43:30,239
Speaker 1: Yeah and so and so they just man, they said

867
00:43:30,239 --> 00:43:33,600
Speaker 1: something to me that that changed my life. I love you,

868
00:43:34,200 --> 00:43:36,759
Speaker 1: M they said I love you. You know, nobody ever

869
00:43:36,800 --> 00:43:39,440
Speaker 1: opened up a Bible, nobody ever pointed to any verses,

870
00:43:39,760 --> 00:43:43,320
Speaker 1: nobody ever told me about my sin. These guys changed

871
00:43:43,320 --> 00:43:46,560
Speaker 1: my life by saying the words I love you and

872
00:43:46,920 --> 00:43:51,200
Speaker 1: and it was like, you know, there was no theological discussion.

873
00:43:51,719 --> 00:43:55,800
Speaker 1: There was no uh, you know, archaeological or historical facts

874
00:43:55,840 --> 00:43:58,520
Speaker 1: given to me to prove that God is who God is.

875
00:43:59,160 --> 00:44:01,960
Speaker 1: It was just like, man, we love you. And I

876
00:44:02,000 --> 00:44:06,839
Speaker 1: had never really heard another man, you know, say that

877
00:44:06,880 --> 00:44:11,360
Speaker 1: and then not come with like stipulations in the streets.

878
00:44:11,360 --> 00:44:13,560
Speaker 1: It's like, yeah, bro, I love you, but but there's

879
00:44:13,560 --> 00:44:19,000
Speaker 1: stipulations to that. And so that was the first thing

880
00:44:19,040 --> 00:44:22,879
Speaker 1: that really started provoking me to something different. I was like, man,

881
00:44:22,880 --> 00:44:25,360
Speaker 1: what the heck are they talking about me like you

882
00:44:25,440 --> 00:44:29,399
Speaker 1: love me? And next thing, you know, like they're giving

883
00:44:29,440 --> 00:44:32,240
Speaker 1: me more and more responsibility. I started doing different stuff

884
00:44:32,280 --> 00:44:35,840
Speaker 1: with them. Uh then they invite me to church. I

885
00:44:35,920 --> 00:44:36,879
Speaker 1: start going to the church.

886
00:44:37,080 --> 00:44:38,839
Speaker 3: And so how was it when you went to church,

887
00:44:38,920 --> 00:44:39,640
Speaker 3: Oh dude, I went.

888
00:44:39,960 --> 00:44:42,640
Speaker 1: Let me say you this. So, so originally I go

889
00:44:42,719 --> 00:44:45,799
Speaker 1: to the church because I'm telling myself, okay, I'll go

890
00:44:45,840 --> 00:44:48,200
Speaker 1: to church. They'll see me going to church. Maybe they'll

891
00:44:48,200 --> 00:44:48,839
Speaker 1: give me a raise.

892
00:44:48,920 --> 00:44:49,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, gotcha.

893
00:44:49,680 --> 00:44:51,240
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. I'm maybe there's some girls

894
00:44:51,239 --> 00:44:51,920
Speaker 1: there right right.

895
00:44:52,000 --> 00:44:52,200
Speaker 3: Yeah.

896
00:44:52,280 --> 00:44:54,640
Speaker 1: No. I was like, hey, maybe they'll give me a

897
00:44:54,719 --> 00:44:56,960
Speaker 1: raise this and that. So I go the first time,

898
00:44:57,239 --> 00:44:59,120
Speaker 1: and I'm sitting there and I'm like looking around and

899
00:44:59,160 --> 00:45:01,680
Speaker 1: I'm like, dude, this is all fake pastors probably driving

900
00:45:01,680 --> 00:45:04,000
Speaker 1: the Mercedes like we're just you know, they're just out

901
00:45:04,000 --> 00:45:07,040
Speaker 1: here living their best life. Well, then I get back

902
00:45:07,040 --> 00:45:10,560
Speaker 1: to work that Monday, and I'm expecting everybody to be like, hey,

903
00:45:10,600 --> 00:45:12,680
Speaker 1: we saw you at church, and da da da da

904
00:45:12,800 --> 00:45:14,360
Speaker 1: that way. I was like, all right, cool, you see me,

905
00:45:14,560 --> 00:45:18,080
Speaker 1: Let me get my raise type dalde and and then

906
00:45:18,120 --> 00:45:21,600
Speaker 1: I get back there and nobody. Nobody mentions it. Nobody's like, hey,

907
00:45:21,640 --> 00:45:23,520
Speaker 1: we see it. I was just like, crap, I gotta

908
00:45:23,560 --> 00:45:26,279
Speaker 1: go again. And so I go the next time, and

909
00:45:26,280 --> 00:45:27,960
Speaker 1: then I go the next time. And the more I went,

910
00:45:28,040 --> 00:45:29,759
Speaker 1: the more I listened, and the more I listen to,

911
00:45:29,760 --> 00:45:32,640
Speaker 1: everything that didn't make sense made sense. I put God

912
00:45:32,640 --> 00:45:33,200
Speaker 1: in the equation.

913
00:45:33,320 --> 00:45:36,440
Speaker 3: There's there's that verse that says faith comes from hearing

914
00:45:36,480 --> 00:45:37,960
Speaker 3: and hearing the word of God. And you were just

915
00:45:38,000 --> 00:45:42,080
Speaker 3: there listening and God just started speaking to you slowly.

916
00:45:42,120 --> 00:45:44,200
Speaker 3: That's always how people are, you know, I go, you

917
00:45:44,239 --> 00:45:46,359
Speaker 3: need to go to church, just like, go to church

918
00:45:46,400 --> 00:45:49,400
Speaker 3: and just listen, just keep showing up because I know

919
00:45:49,520 --> 00:45:52,680
Speaker 3: over time God will connect. But if they're not going,

920
00:45:53,480 --> 00:45:56,399
Speaker 3: then they just there's gonna be no transformation, there's gonna

921
00:45:56,400 --> 00:45:59,080
Speaker 3: be no encounter with God because they're just not hearing it,

922
00:45:59,200 --> 00:45:59,480
Speaker 3: you know.

923
00:46:00,080 --> 00:46:01,880
Speaker 1: Yeah. And so you know, I used to base everything

924
00:46:01,880 --> 00:46:04,360
Speaker 1: in my life on science and logic, you know, so

925
00:46:04,480 --> 00:46:08,560
Speaker 1: to speak. Scientifically, I should be dead, and logically I

926
00:46:08,560 --> 00:46:10,120
Speaker 1: should be in prison the rest of my life. And

927
00:46:10,120 --> 00:46:12,160
Speaker 1: I wasn't in either one of those spots. And it

928
00:46:12,280 --> 00:46:16,640
Speaker 1: used to drive me insane, like I PTSD, couldn't sleep

929
00:46:16,680 --> 00:46:18,520
Speaker 1: at night. I used to stay up every night just

930
00:46:18,560 --> 00:46:21,360
Speaker 1: staring in a mirror, getting high and drunk, like listening

931
00:46:21,400 --> 00:46:23,480
Speaker 1: to music, trying to figure out what I was gonna do,

932
00:46:23,760 --> 00:46:28,319
Speaker 1: just like in that that space of madness. And the

933
00:46:28,480 --> 00:46:32,360
Speaker 1: only thing that ever made what my friend doing me

934
00:46:32,520 --> 00:46:35,040
Speaker 1: not being dead, and the only thing that ever made

935
00:46:35,040 --> 00:46:39,080
Speaker 1: any of that make any type of mathematical sense was

936
00:46:39,800 --> 00:46:42,360
Speaker 1: if there's a God and he has a plan for

937
00:46:42,440 --> 00:46:46,000
Speaker 1: my life. And so it wasn't like Okay, great, I

938
00:46:46,040 --> 00:46:46,920
Speaker 1: believe in God.

939
00:46:47,200 --> 00:46:47,279
Speaker 3: No.

940
00:46:48,120 --> 00:46:52,120
Speaker 1: I just started to say, like, okay, God, if this

941
00:46:52,320 --> 00:46:55,960
Speaker 1: is real, show me. And it wouldn't like show me

942
00:46:56,400 --> 00:46:58,080
Speaker 1: in a way of like I need you to give

943
00:46:58,080 --> 00:47:01,000
Speaker 1: me a burning bush. It was like, show me, and

944
00:47:01,360 --> 00:47:05,960
Speaker 1: I'm gonna do and study and learn what this Bible says.

945
00:47:06,640 --> 00:47:09,880
Speaker 1: And if you're real, it'll be revealed to me. Right

946
00:47:10,440 --> 00:47:14,440
Speaker 1: and and so I did uh and and Managed just

947
00:47:14,480 --> 00:47:17,479
Speaker 1: started revealing himself to me in so many ways. Next

948
00:47:17,480 --> 00:47:20,960
Speaker 1: thing you know, I'm getting baptized. Phil Robertson baptizes me.

949
00:47:21,520 --> 00:47:25,040
Speaker 1: And man, it's like zero to one hundred real quick.

950
00:47:25,400 --> 00:47:28,200
Speaker 1: It's like one one minute, I'm like folding clothes for

951
00:47:28,200 --> 00:47:31,600
Speaker 1: eight dollars an hour, or I'm like serving drinks at

952
00:47:31,600 --> 00:47:34,640
Speaker 1: the water and Hole for Willie out by Duck Commander.

953
00:47:35,040 --> 00:47:37,200
Speaker 1: And then the next thing you know, like they're putting

954
00:47:37,200 --> 00:47:39,759
Speaker 1: me on the show. People are flying me places to

955
00:47:39,800 --> 00:47:43,279
Speaker 1: tell my story and everything like that. And it was,

956
00:47:44,080 --> 00:47:47,160
Speaker 1: you know, it's it was it was too much, too quick.

957
00:47:48,040 --> 00:47:50,759
Speaker 1: Not that God didn't know what he was doing, but

958
00:47:50,840 --> 00:47:53,200
Speaker 1: I think that he was building character inside of me

959
00:47:53,719 --> 00:47:58,480
Speaker 1: through this. Right, adversity breeds advancement, so in order for

960
00:47:58,560 --> 00:48:02,080
Speaker 1: us to have advancements. We have face adversity, not just

961
00:48:02,320 --> 00:48:05,120
Speaker 1: in life and the stuff that people typically go through,

962
00:48:05,160 --> 00:48:08,239
Speaker 1: but in our faith walk through as our faith is

963
00:48:08,280 --> 00:48:10,880
Speaker 1: being built and as we're growing, Like, there's gotta be

964
00:48:10,920 --> 00:48:14,000
Speaker 1: some friction and adversity you face in order for that

965
00:48:14,120 --> 00:48:17,799
Speaker 1: to grow. And so for me, it looked like I'm

966
00:48:17,840 --> 00:48:21,040
Speaker 1: going all over the place. I'm speaking, I'm doing this stuff,

967
00:48:21,920 --> 00:48:25,400
Speaker 1: but I'm living this like double life. In my young

968
00:48:25,560 --> 00:48:30,560
Speaker 1: adolescent Christian mind. I'm thinking, but it's all good. Grace abounds.

969
00:48:30,600 --> 00:48:33,719
Speaker 1: God knows my heart and everything else. So like nine

970
00:48:33,800 --> 00:48:36,399
Speaker 1: to five, I'm out, I'm talking about Jesus. I'm doing

971
00:48:36,400 --> 00:48:38,600
Speaker 1: all this stuff. But then I'm coming home and I'm

972
00:48:38,600 --> 00:48:41,280
Speaker 1: gonna smoke a blunt, which okay, God's cool with because

973
00:48:41,440 --> 00:48:43,920
Speaker 1: he created the weed, you know what I'm saying. And

974
00:48:43,960 --> 00:48:46,319
Speaker 1: then like I'm a sleep with women and stuff. And

975
00:48:46,360 --> 00:48:48,040
Speaker 1: then I'll just you know, I'm gonna go talk about

976
00:48:48,080 --> 00:48:51,000
Speaker 1: Jesus and he knows my heart. It's all good, right,

977
00:48:51,400 --> 00:48:53,799
Speaker 1: And then I got hit with the realization that either

978
00:48:53,840 --> 00:48:55,719
Speaker 1: you're for me or against me. There is no gray

979
00:48:55,760 --> 00:48:59,279
Speaker 1: area in the Word of God. It's like, hey, this

980
00:48:59,440 --> 00:49:02,200
Speaker 1: is the truth. The way I am the Way, the

981
00:49:02,239 --> 00:49:04,839
Speaker 1: Truth and the life. Nobody could come to the Father

982
00:49:04,920 --> 00:49:07,000
Speaker 1: except through me. And you're doing a lot.

983
00:49:06,880 --> 00:49:09,200
Speaker 3: Of you and this and this is why exactly what

984
00:49:09,239 --> 00:49:12,040
Speaker 3: you were saying, God show me. And as you're reading

985
00:49:12,040 --> 00:49:12,960
Speaker 3: the Bible.

986
00:49:12,800 --> 00:49:14,879
Speaker 1: The Word is his words, right, so.

987
00:49:14,800 --> 00:49:18,560
Speaker 3: You read it and he will show you the like

988
00:49:18,800 --> 00:49:21,560
Speaker 3: how to live and these these guidelines and stuff that

989
00:49:21,560 --> 00:49:25,480
Speaker 3: he has. It's for a healthy and awesome you know,

990
00:49:25,520 --> 00:49:26,319
Speaker 3: it's not to hurt you.

991
00:49:26,400 --> 00:49:27,440
Speaker 1: Actually, no, no, no, no, no no.

992
00:49:28,000 --> 00:49:29,759
Speaker 3: So so you're reading you coming at verse, you're coming

993
00:49:29,760 --> 00:49:32,520
Speaker 3: that verse when Jesus said himself, I am the way

994
00:49:32,600 --> 00:49:34,600
Speaker 3: the truth in life or what was the verse you quoted.

995
00:49:34,840 --> 00:49:36,560
Speaker 3: If you're not for me, you're against me, right right?

996
00:49:36,640 --> 00:49:36,839
Speaker 2: Yeah?

997
00:49:36,880 --> 00:49:40,319
Speaker 1: Yeah, And so you know I end up getting arrested, right.

998
00:49:41,239 --> 00:49:44,040
Speaker 1: I just come back from hunting camp, uh, you know,

999
00:49:44,120 --> 00:49:47,080
Speaker 1: doing some stuff with Buck Commander. I get back and

1000
00:49:47,440 --> 00:49:50,120
Speaker 1: I'm just like I'm celebrating. Really, you know. I go

1001
00:49:50,160 --> 00:49:52,840
Speaker 1: out to a bar, I have some drinks. You know,

1002
00:49:52,920 --> 00:49:54,839
Speaker 1: my back was hurting, so I grabbed a pain pill

1003
00:49:54,920 --> 00:49:58,399
Speaker 1: from a friend, you know, and uh, and I'm like, man,

1004
00:49:58,760 --> 00:50:02,680
Speaker 1: this Jesus stuff is awesome, you know. You know, it's

1005
00:50:02,680 --> 00:50:05,960
Speaker 1: just like man, everything's all good all the time. And

1006
00:50:07,120 --> 00:50:10,000
Speaker 1: I get back and uh, and I'm driving. I'm trying

1007
00:50:10,000 --> 00:50:12,680
Speaker 1: to give somebody ride home because they're drunk, and I

1008
00:50:12,719 --> 00:50:15,040
Speaker 1: get pulled over and I get a DWI charge and

1009
00:50:15,080 --> 00:50:17,319
Speaker 1: a possession charge. I'm so drunk I forgot I had

1010
00:50:17,360 --> 00:50:19,680
Speaker 1: a pain pill in my pocket. So I get a

1011
00:50:19,680 --> 00:50:23,239
Speaker 1: felony possession charge and a DW I. This is three

1012
00:50:23,320 --> 00:50:27,279
Speaker 1: days before my episode is airing on Duck Dynasty season nine,

1013
00:50:27,320 --> 00:50:31,759
Speaker 1: episode one, Brian Ruker doing the ice cabin thing, like

1014
00:50:32,080 --> 00:50:36,440
Speaker 1: three day like that show airs on Wednesday. That Sunday,

1015
00:50:36,960 --> 00:50:40,440
Speaker 1: your boy is in jail for a DWI and a

1016
00:50:40,560 --> 00:50:44,000
Speaker 1: possession charge. Wow. And and then I'm sitting in the

1017
00:50:44,000 --> 00:50:46,880
Speaker 1: holding tank and I'm like, how did this happen? I

1018
00:50:46,920 --> 00:50:51,040
Speaker 1: got Jesus, like what? And then the Holy Spirit hits

1019
00:50:51,080 --> 00:50:54,399
Speaker 1: me like a ton of bricks and it's that either

1020
00:50:54,600 --> 00:50:57,000
Speaker 1: for me or against me. Yeah, you know, you can't

1021
00:50:57,080 --> 00:51:00,640
Speaker 1: ride the fence. You can't ride the fence a purpose

1022
00:51:00,719 --> 00:51:02,880
Speaker 1: for you and it doesn't involve you doing any of

1023
00:51:02,880 --> 00:51:06,040
Speaker 1: this crap that you're doing, yep, exactly. And then my

1024
00:51:06,080 --> 00:51:08,920
Speaker 1: next thought was, well, it's all over anyways, Like they

1025
00:51:08,960 --> 00:51:10,799
Speaker 1: gotta fire me, you know what I mean, Like, there's

1026
00:51:10,840 --> 00:51:14,960
Speaker 1: just and to my surprise, my mentor Grant Taylor and

1027
00:51:15,000 --> 00:51:18,600
Speaker 1: along with Willie Robertson, you know, everybody got together. They

1028
00:51:18,800 --> 00:51:21,000
Speaker 1: came and got me out of jail. They let me

1029
00:51:21,080 --> 00:51:23,160
Speaker 1: keep my job. They just told me to do two things.

1030
00:51:23,160 --> 00:51:25,359
Speaker 1: They told me to sell my vehicle because I ain't

1031
00:51:25,400 --> 00:51:29,879
Speaker 1: never had a license. And then they said to move

1032
00:51:29,880 --> 00:51:32,520
Speaker 1: into a Celebrate recovery house. And that's how I got

1033
00:51:32,520 --> 00:51:33,480
Speaker 1: into Celebrat.

1034
00:51:33,520 --> 00:51:36,400
Speaker 3: That's how you got in. Yeah, that's amazing. And you know,

1035
00:51:36,400 --> 00:51:38,280
Speaker 3: you know what I love about it is the grace. Yeah,

1036
00:51:38,320 --> 00:51:40,919
Speaker 3: the grace of God. You know, you can't kick people

1037
00:51:40,920 --> 00:51:42,719
Speaker 3: when they're down. We got to help them. And it's like,

1038
00:51:42,960 --> 00:51:45,040
Speaker 3: can you imagine if they would have been like, hey,

1039
00:51:45,040 --> 00:51:47,000
Speaker 3: you know what, it's all over, you're done, you blew

1040
00:51:47,040 --> 00:51:49,080
Speaker 3: it good out of here, and then then what But

1041
00:51:49,120 --> 00:51:51,719
Speaker 3: instead they showed the grace of God, which Jesus has

1042
00:51:51,760 --> 00:51:53,759
Speaker 3: so much grace on all of our lives and even

1043
00:51:53,800 --> 00:51:56,200
Speaker 3: the people that are listening now, Like God is in

1044
00:51:56,280 --> 00:51:58,960
Speaker 3: the business of giving you chances. He sees your heart

1045
00:51:59,280 --> 00:52:01,680
Speaker 3: if your heart is right. Sometimes we do stupid stuff

1046
00:52:01,680 --> 00:52:04,400
Speaker 3: like Peter. I love Peter in the Bible because you know,

1047
00:52:05,239 --> 00:52:07,279
Speaker 3: I like him. He's like me. He does stuff that

1048
00:52:07,440 --> 00:52:09,919
Speaker 3: he doesn't think about, but his heart's right just doesn't

1049
00:52:09,920 --> 00:52:12,080
Speaker 3: always come out well right, you know what I mean.

1050
00:52:12,080 --> 00:52:14,360
Speaker 3: But it's Hart's literally right. He's trying to do things.

1051
00:52:15,840 --> 00:52:18,200
Speaker 3: But God's grace on Peter's life. You know what he

1052
00:52:18,239 --> 00:52:20,160
Speaker 3: called them pebble you know, this guy was Peter was

1053
00:52:20,239 --> 00:52:23,280
Speaker 3: kind of a tough guy, like outgoing guy, filthy fisherman,

1054
00:52:23,520 --> 00:52:26,359
Speaker 3: like you know, get it kind of get it done guy,

1055
00:52:26,400 --> 00:52:28,320
Speaker 3: a guy that takes risk of a man of faith.

1056
00:52:28,680 --> 00:52:32,920
Speaker 3: But God use this guy mightily, you know, in a

1057
00:52:32,960 --> 00:52:36,320
Speaker 3: powerful way. And now here you are a man like Peter,

1058
00:52:36,600 --> 00:52:39,560
Speaker 3: you know, going after making some mistakes. But your team

1059
00:52:40,000 --> 00:52:43,759
Speaker 3: came alongside you, your your mentors and and these guys

1060
00:52:43,760 --> 00:52:46,120
Speaker 3: that you look up to that that saw that God

1061
00:52:46,160 --> 00:52:48,279
Speaker 3: had a plan in your life. Ultimately, they just they

1062
00:52:48,280 --> 00:52:51,560
Speaker 3: saw you and they go, you know, your God has

1063
00:52:51,600 --> 00:52:53,000
Speaker 3: a plan for you, and you're in the right place.

1064
00:52:53,000 --> 00:52:54,759
Speaker 3: And then they had that grace and now you're in

1065
00:52:54,840 --> 00:52:58,919
Speaker 3: select subary. Celebrate your recovery. Obviously that did a great

1066
00:52:59,040 --> 00:53:00,560
Speaker 3: It's it's discipleship, yeah.

1067
00:53:00,480 --> 00:53:02,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, So it's a twelve step Christ Center program, right,

1068
00:53:03,800 --> 00:53:06,480
Speaker 1: you know, and so I started working the steps. There

1069
00:53:06,560 --> 00:53:09,000
Speaker 1: was some struggles there too, like I got kicked out

1070
00:53:09,000 --> 00:53:12,000
Speaker 1: of the first CR house. I went to everything like, man,

1071
00:53:12,440 --> 00:53:16,000
Speaker 1: this process is one that's gonna come with failure, but

1072
00:53:16,040 --> 00:53:18,200
Speaker 1: it's a part of the process, you know. And so

1073
00:53:19,719 --> 00:53:22,560
Speaker 1: you know, I get into CR, start working the program.

1074
00:53:22,640 --> 00:53:25,120
Speaker 1: Everything that I lost. The one thing cool to that

1075
00:53:25,200 --> 00:53:27,600
Speaker 1: the accountability that the guy is a duck Commander gave me.

1076
00:53:27,840 --> 00:53:30,759
Speaker 1: And Buck Commander was like, Hey, you're not gonna be

1077
00:53:30,800 --> 00:53:32,880
Speaker 1: able to keep doing the stuff that you're doing like

1078
00:53:32,920 --> 00:53:36,719
Speaker 1: this over here, work going on hunts, filming stuff like no,

1079
00:53:36,880 --> 00:53:39,439
Speaker 1: you're gonna go back to the warehouse and you're gonna

1080
00:53:39,480 --> 00:53:43,080
Speaker 1: run these tours. So it was like, we love you

1081
00:53:43,120 --> 00:53:45,840
Speaker 1: and we're here for you, but we're you're gonna go

1082
00:53:45,920 --> 00:53:50,000
Speaker 1: into a season of humility. Right. There's stuff that you're

1083
00:53:50,040 --> 00:53:52,520
Speaker 1: doing that was really cool, that built your ego, that

1084
00:53:52,560 --> 00:53:55,439
Speaker 1: built up some pride inside of you. We're doing away

1085
00:53:55,440 --> 00:53:58,600
Speaker 1: with that and you're gonna And so ended up working

1086
00:53:58,600 --> 00:54:02,799
Speaker 1: everything back, started asking me to speak again. Became the

1087
00:54:02,800 --> 00:54:05,640
Speaker 1: manager of a sober living home. Uh. Then I became

1088
00:54:05,680 --> 00:54:08,480
Speaker 1: an addiction counselor, became one of the most sought after

1089
00:54:08,480 --> 00:54:12,759
Speaker 1: addiction counselors in the state of Louisiana. And uh and

1090
00:54:12,800 --> 00:54:16,000
Speaker 1: so yeah, you know, uh, here we are today, uh

1091
00:54:16,080 --> 00:54:18,920
Speaker 1: and uh you know, I'm the director of Celebrated Recovery

1092
00:54:18,960 --> 00:54:21,880
Speaker 1: at White's Fair Road Church. I worked there. Uh. We

1093
00:54:22,200 --> 00:54:25,080
Speaker 1: own sober Living Actually the sober living houses I lived

1094
00:54:25,120 --> 00:54:27,960
Speaker 1: in for two years I now own along with my

1095
00:54:28,000 --> 00:54:33,719
Speaker 1: partner Derek McQueen. Uh, you know, and still doing counseling

1096
00:54:34,120 --> 00:54:37,320
Speaker 1: and everything. And I'm just living in and not living,

1097
00:54:37,360 --> 00:54:40,120
Speaker 1: but abiding in what God has for my life. Like

1098
00:54:40,200 --> 00:54:42,960
Speaker 1: I'm done making plans. I'm done coming up with the rules.

1099
00:54:43,000 --> 00:54:45,680
Speaker 1: I'm done trying to figure out what tomorrow looks like

1100
00:54:46,120 --> 00:54:49,680
Speaker 1: or harboring on yesterday. I'm just like God, if you

1101
00:54:49,760 --> 00:54:51,799
Speaker 1: call me to it, I'll have the faith to take

1102
00:54:51,800 --> 00:54:52,240
Speaker 1: the step.

1103
00:54:52,840 --> 00:54:55,919
Speaker 3: And you know what, that's amazing. And I would say

1104
00:54:55,960 --> 00:54:58,480
Speaker 3: this is that Siki first, the Kingdom of God and

1105
00:54:58,520 --> 00:55:01,319
Speaker 3: his righteousness and all these things will be added. And

1106
00:55:01,360 --> 00:55:04,560
Speaker 3: that is the main focus with anyone in administry, because as

1107
00:55:04,600 --> 00:55:06,640
Speaker 3: you see and I see and people that are administry,

1108
00:55:06,680 --> 00:55:09,360
Speaker 3: it's like Satan. He's always looking for a way to

1109
00:55:09,400 --> 00:55:11,200
Speaker 3: creep in. And what he wants to do is He

1110
00:55:11,200 --> 00:55:14,040
Speaker 3: wants to take people out that are being used for

1111
00:55:14,120 --> 00:55:16,880
Speaker 3: His glory and the Mighty in a great way. And

1112
00:55:16,920 --> 00:55:20,759
Speaker 3: God has entrusted you with a lot. He's using you

1113
00:55:20,840 --> 00:55:22,680
Speaker 3: a lot. He's put you around the right people that

1114
00:55:22,920 --> 00:55:26,000
Speaker 3: have come alongside you. So now the most important thing,

1115
00:55:26,040 --> 00:55:27,719
Speaker 3: not for not only for you, but for me, for

1116
00:55:27,920 --> 00:55:31,200
Speaker 3: even the listeners, is that we need to seek His rights,

1117
00:55:31,360 --> 00:55:34,560
Speaker 3: says Daily. Stay in his will, deny ourself, pick up

1118
00:55:34,600 --> 00:55:38,120
Speaker 3: or cross and follow him because God doesn't want lukewarm people,

1119
00:55:38,640 --> 00:55:40,680
Speaker 3: because he says, if you're lukewarm, will spit you out

1120
00:55:40,719 --> 00:55:43,799
Speaker 3: of his mouth. He will either form or you're against them.

1121
00:55:44,280 --> 00:55:47,120
Speaker 3: Thank you for being on the show, man, Appreciate you man,

1122
00:55:47,239 --> 00:55:49,720
Speaker 3: Love you man, and tune in next week you guys,

1123
00:55:49,800 --> 00:55:53,000
Speaker 3: and we will have another show for you next Saturday night.

1124
00:56:07,120 --> 00:56:10,680
Speaker 2: This has been the Ryan Reshow. To connect and find

1125
00:56:10,719 --> 00:56:14,520
Speaker 2: out more about Ryan, click on Ryandash Reese dot com.

1126
00:56:14,640 --> 00:56:17,440
Speaker 2: Check us out next Saturday at nine pm for the

1127
00:56:17,560 --> 00:56:18,479
Speaker 2: Ryan Rees Show