Speaker 1: On today's episode of Timeless Wisdom.
Speaker 2: Thank you, doctor Prager, your wisdom and your sage advice
Speaker 2: that I have been listening to for months and months
Speaker 2: and years. Finally today I'll let you know how much
Speaker 2: I appreciate you.
Speaker 3: Well, that's very kind. Really, it touches me. Thank you.
Speaker 3: By the way, for the record, I'm not a doctor.
Speaker 3: Just for the.
Speaker 1: Record, that's coming up on Timeless Wisdom with Dennis Prager.
Speaker 1: Welcome to Timeless Wisdom with Dennis Prager. Here thousands of
Speaker 1: hours of Dennis's lectures, courses, and classic radio programs had
Speaker 1: to purchase Dennis Prager's Rational Bibles, go to Dennisprager dot com.
Speaker 3: Well it's Wednesday, so it's the time for the Male
Speaker 3: Female Hour, the most honest talk I am aware of
Speaker 3: about men and women. And part of the reason is
Speaker 3: I'm not inhibited about talking about any aspect of male
Speaker 3: female relations. And I am neither a fan of men
Speaker 3: or a fan of women. I don't even know understand
Speaker 3: that I understand being a fan of good people, male
Speaker 3: or female. I truly am not a man fan, even
Speaker 3: though I'm a man, and I'm truly not a woman fan,
Speaker 3: even though I'm a man, I don't know what there
Speaker 3: is to root for in either case. Terrific people exist
Speaker 3: of either sex and awful people exist of either sex,
Speaker 3: and there are only two sexes for the record, even
Speaker 3: if you redefine sex as gender. Well, my friends, I
Speaker 3: have a new topic for you today. All of my life,
Speaker 3: from before I ever got married, I heard the following
Speaker 3: phrase marriage is work or marriage takes work? Right, the
Speaker 3: same thing? Correct, Yeah, marriage takes work. So this is
Speaker 3: one of those male female hours where you really provide
Speaker 3: much of the content. Call in now. If you agree
Speaker 3: that marriage is work, please call in, or if you
Speaker 3: have any reaction to the phrase one eight prager seven
Speaker 3: seven six eight seven seven two four three triple seven six.
Speaker 3: When I heard it before I ever got married, I
Speaker 3: always wanted to be prepared for life and not have
Speaker 3: unrealistic quote unquote romantic unquote expectations. And I will just say,
Speaker 3: if i'd have asked my parents, who were married six
Speaker 3: nine years together for seventy three, if i'd have asked them,
Speaker 3: would you characterize marriage as work? I didn't. I never
Speaker 3: pose the question to them, so I can't tell you
Speaker 3: for certain, but I'm pretty sure where they would have
Speaker 3: said no. I mean, look, there is nothing in life
Speaker 3: that you engage in that doesn't take work. So in
Speaker 3: that sense, you know you might as well say staying
Speaker 3: single takes work. Right. So the reason I'm raising it
Speaker 3: is I had a a friend when he was a bachelor,
Speaker 3: and he was a bachelor through his thirties, very good
Speaker 3: looking guy, very He was charismatic and still is stillismatic
Speaker 3: and obviously older, still a good looking guy. He eventually
Speaker 3: got married, had two children, and then divorced. But I
Speaker 3: remember him saying to me, He says, Dennis, everybody tells
Speaker 3: me marriages work. Why would I want to get married
Speaker 3: If marriage is work. I work all day. I don't
Speaker 3: want to come home and work. I'll never forget his
Speaker 3: arguing that. I'll continue in a moment.
Speaker 1: This episode of Timeless Wisdom will continue right after this.
Speaker 1: Now back to more of Dennis Prager's timeless wisdom.
Speaker 3: Hi everybody, Dennis Prager here a male female hour. I'm
Speaker 3: addressing the issue, and I'm relying on your calling and
Speaker 3: philosophizing about it. The the statement, oh, well, religion it
Speaker 3: takes a lot of work. Not religion. Sorry, I have
Speaker 3: a reason that I said religion, But i'll I will
Speaker 3: or will not get to that later. A marriage takes work.
Speaker 3: Marriage is work. Manage takes work. So I had this
Speaker 3: bachelor friend who was very popular among women, and he
Speaker 3: said to me, I got married years before he did.
Speaker 3: And he said to me frequently, he said, Dennis, everybody
Speaker 3: who's married, or virtually everybody says to me, marriage is work. Well,
Speaker 3: I work all day. I don't want to come home
Speaker 3: and work. Never forgets saying that, And it was not
Speaker 3: a not a ridiculous argument. I work at the office,
Speaker 3: and now I come home and I work again. What
Speaker 3: do you say to the what do you say to
Speaker 3: the guy? Now? So he there is, of course, there
Speaker 3: are any number that is, are any number of responses.
Speaker 3: First of all, everything takes work. Everything video games don't
Speaker 3: take work. It's a it's just play. I get it.
Speaker 3: And by the way, that is what a fair number
Speaker 3: of apparently young men are opting to do is play
Speaker 3: video games and not work at marriage. And same with women.
Speaker 3: It's not video games. Whatever it is for them, I
Speaker 3: don't know, taking taking care of a pet, or engaging
Speaker 3: in some social cause. I don't I don't know whatever
Speaker 3: it might be. So one answer to marriage takes work?
Speaker 3: Is what doesn't take work? Seriously, what doesn't work takes work? And,
Speaker 3: by the way, is that invalidate work because it is work?
Speaker 3: Would any there are people, i imagine, would say it takes
Speaker 3: too much work, my job takes too much work. Okay,
Speaker 3: take another job. But it would be an odd thing
Speaker 3: for somebody to say, you know, work takes work. Right, Yes,
Speaker 3: work takes work. That's why it's called work. But that
Speaker 3: doesn't invalidate the great use of work in people's lives.
Speaker 3: For most people, work is a good thing. By the way,
Speaker 3: work doesn't necessarily mean outside of the house. Taking care
Speaker 3: of a house is a hell of a lot of
Speaker 3: work too. I mean, what doesn't take work? Sports takes
Speaker 3: an incredible amount of work. How many how many people
Speaker 3: who finally make it to the major leagues the National
Speaker 3: Hockey League, the National Football League, Major League Baseball, and NFL, NBA,
Speaker 3: how many people who finally get there? Goes I'm sorry,
Speaker 3: it's too much work. I'm leaving. So, even on the
Speaker 3: face of it, the comment marriage takes work, the real
Speaker 3: answer is so what. I have other thoughts on this, obviously,
Speaker 3: but that hardly invalidates marriage as a spectacularly good option
Speaker 3: for your life. Let us say it does take work. Fine,
Speaker 3: let us let us even say it does. What good
Speaker 3: thing in life name one that doesn't take work, but that,
Speaker 3: for whatever reason work taking work. That's okay. Children take
Speaker 3: a lot of work. And if and if they if,
Speaker 3: if it works out, if your kid turns out to
Speaker 3: be a decent kid, well really decent adult, it was
Speaker 3: worth it. Those what isn't Those who sew in the
Speaker 3: tears will reap enjoy famous biblical phrase. So the comment
Speaker 3: does not invalidate marriage. Everything takes work. But I have
Speaker 3: another position as well, within the parameters of what work means.
Speaker 3: The ideal I will acknowledge is that work, that marriage
Speaker 3: not take that much work. My friends, from my friend
Speaker 3: from many years ago, the bachelor, who said, you know,
Speaker 3: I work all day. I don't want to come home
Speaker 3: and work again, it was not a silly comment. If
Speaker 3: your marriage is primarily work, I salute you for engaging
Speaker 3: in that work. I commend you, I praise you. But
Speaker 3: I don't think that that is what marriage ideally is about.
Speaker 3: It certainly is about working on oneself. That's true. The
Speaker 3: human being finds it easier not to live with someone
Speaker 3: than to live with someone. I'm just talking about on
Speaker 3: the fulfilling what one wants aspect, not on the ultimate
Speaker 3: happiness aspect. All right, let me let me go to
Speaker 3: your calls here, let's see okay, mmmmmm, well all right.
Speaker 3: Bob in Pasadena, California, Hello.
Speaker 4: Hello, devis Hi.
Speaker 3: Well, good glad to hear it.
Speaker 4: Thanks for your show and you're wisdom.
Speaker 3: Thank you.
Speaker 4: So anything you care about takes work, and I think
Speaker 4: the amount of care will determine the amount of work
Speaker 4: you put into it. Aglar case. You know, the marriage
Speaker 4: had a lot of ups and downs. We hung in there,
Speaker 4: and now we're, you know, forty two years later, rewarding,
Speaker 4: rewarded with the benefit of the work and.
Speaker 3: The patience, and what is the what is the reward?
Speaker 4: We still have each other and we're closer than we
Speaker 4: were because we got through the years of pride and
Speaker 4: selfishness and became servants to each other. I asked my
Speaker 4: uncle one time, why is your marriage so strong with
Speaker 4: my aunt? And he said, I find out what she
Speaker 4: wants and I insist on it. And he could say
Speaker 4: that because she felt the same way about him. There
Speaker 4: was a lot of humility and lack of pride in
Speaker 4: that relationship, So I tried to remember that. I heard
Speaker 4: that when I was much younger. It's not easy, but
Speaker 4: good words and wisdom.
Speaker 3: What percentage of your year is marriage wise easy and
Speaker 3: what percentage is hard work?
Speaker 4: Prior to a life changing accident in our relationship, I
Speaker 4: would say it was fifty to fifty, But due to
Speaker 4: my wife's current situation, it's it's humbled me, it's drawne
Speaker 4: us closer together, it's put things in perspective what's really important,
Speaker 4: And so now it's it's it's hard work, but the
Speaker 4: relationship couldn't be closer.
Speaker 3: Is it still fifty to fifty over the course of
Speaker 3: a year.
Speaker 4: No way, No, it's uh closer and easier.
Speaker 3: Okay, all right, Well that that's that's what I obviously
Speaker 3: was hoping to hear. Yeah, yeah, it's an interesting question.
Speaker 3: I've been divorced, I've been and I'm very happily married.
Speaker 3: Were together twenty years, so I really know what exists
Speaker 3: in marriage. Believe me, I know all things considered easy
Speaker 3: at home is better than difficult at home, I admit
Speaker 3: is not a particularly profound insight. So I'm torn on
Speaker 3: the issue. How much work as such? Should it take. Oh,
Speaker 3: I think it's worth it. But ideally it is an
Speaker 3: easier marriage better than one that has to be worth
Speaker 3: a back in a moment.
Speaker 1: This episode of Timeless Wisdom will continue right after this.
Speaker 1: Now back to more of Dennis Prager's Timeless Wisdom.
Speaker 3: So this is the Male Female Hour, and I'm posing
Speaker 3: an interesting question the phrase marriage is work? Where marriage
Speaker 3: takes work? So what do you make of it? And
Speaker 3: why do you answer a person who doesn't want to
Speaker 3: get married, They say, you know, everybody who gets married
Speaker 3: says it takes work. So I gave an answer, can
Speaker 3: you can you name me anything worthwhile in life that
Speaker 3: doesn't take work? But admittedly I would I think, having
Speaker 3: been in both types of marriages, that marriages that don't
Speaker 3: take a lot of work and are good marriages, that's
Speaker 3: that's the ideal. Obviously, you have to be aware at
Speaker 3: all times of my my duties as a husband, my
Speaker 3: duties as a wife. How can I how can I
Speaker 3: make life easier for my my spouse? I mean, that's
Speaker 3: all that's all accurate, but I think to see marriage
Speaker 3: as primarily work. While I would still defend marriage and
Speaker 3: hats off to those of you who engage in it.
Speaker 3: I think the ideal is that its primary characteristic would
Speaker 3: not be work, although for many people it is work
Speaker 3: until it's less work. Like the caller earlier, it went
Speaker 3: from fifty percent work, fifty percent NOTT work to while
Speaker 3: I was at ninety percent not work. Okay, as usual,
Speaker 3: I love hearing from you on these matters. Okay, let's
Speaker 3: see here, Joshua and Sacramento, California.
Speaker 5: Hello, Heay, how are you doing well?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 5: I'm good. So I was thinking the benefits outweigh any
Speaker 5: effort you put in marriage. So you're a lazy man
Speaker 5: if you think it's not worth you try and to
Speaker 5: have common ground with your spouse, your wife. So this
Speaker 5: is of course after you've made the marriage valve. So
Speaker 5: this is not dating. This is when you're in a
Speaker 5: committed relationship. If it's before, I still think it's the
Speaker 5: same thought process. But the difference is you can make
Speaker 5: a choice if it's not worth it for you, but
Speaker 5: once you made it, it's worth it. You know, let's
Speaker 5: just be honest. If you don't, if you want to
Speaker 5: be a lazy, then then don't commit.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's a good line. If you want to be lazy,
Speaker 3: don't commit. I would agree with that, all right, I
Speaker 3: appreciate it. Let's see any women calling in here. Yeah,
Speaker 3: Monique in Los Angeles, Hello.
Speaker 6: Hi Dennis, how are you good?
Speaker 3: Thank you?
Speaker 7: So I think marriage is one hundred percent work, but
Speaker 7: it's not tedious work.
Speaker 6: It's daily work.
Speaker 5: It's daily communication.
Speaker 7: I kind of liken it to my hair. I wash
Speaker 7: my hair, I condition my hair, I cut my hair,
Speaker 7: I color my hair, I style it, I brush it.
Speaker 7: If I don't do anything to my hair on a
Speaker 7: daily basis, over time it will become very matted and
Speaker 7: difficult to deal with, and my options will be to
Speaker 7: cut it off or have a really bad head of hair.
Speaker 7: So in we're in marriage, if you just do the
Speaker 7: daily things of communicating and loving and caring and nurturing,
Speaker 7: you don't end up with those big mats of hair
Speaker 7: that you can't taint. It's it's really rather easy.
Speaker 3: But it is what I like that marriage. I'm not
Speaker 3: saying this is a joke. It's just a new way
Speaker 3: of looking at it. Marriage. Taking care of your marriage
Speaker 3: is like taking care of your hair, especially for a woman. Yes,
Speaker 3: that's a very excellent point. The fact that it takes
Speaker 3: work to keep your hair looking good, or for that matter,
Speaker 3: it takes work to stay looking good after you're a
Speaker 3: certain age. Obviously takes much less work when you're younger.
Speaker 3: It is true, but it is not invalidating. It just
Speaker 3: means with work, you're going to get a reward. I'm
Speaker 3: thinking this through as I speak to you, and I
Speaker 3: realize whereas I'm of the opinion as I said earlier,
Speaker 3: that all things being equal, I would rather go home
Speaker 3: to an easy place to be than a place of work.
Speaker 3: But having said that, it is definitely worth the work
Speaker 3: to work on a marriage. That is absolutely correct. But
Speaker 3: I did hint at something else earlier, and that is
Speaker 3: working on yourself. Whatever the joy or work in a
Speaker 3: given marriage, there is still working on yourself. Men still
Speaker 3: have to discipline their sexual nature in order to keep
Speaker 3: their marriage for that matter, not just keep their marriage happy.
Speaker 3: That would be an example. It is not the same
Speaker 3: struggle for women. Women have different struggles. That is usually
Speaker 3: not the same struggle. And it is amazing how people
Speaker 3: want to deny it. But I've lived with that fact
Speaker 3: much of my life, that people want to deny basic truths.
Speaker 3: All right, let's see Patsy in Greenville, South Carolina. Hello,
Speaker 3: he did it. Hi.
Speaker 8: Hey, I don't think it's work.
Speaker 3: You don't think it's work.
Speaker 8: No, it's if if you you have to have commitment, respect, patience,
Speaker 8: and kindness, And that's not work.
Speaker 3: Well to be to be precise, it's work on yourself
Speaker 3: to attain those To attain those qualities takes takes effort.
Speaker 8: God takes care of it. Though you're just getting his words.
Speaker 8: You'll have those things. It just is so natural.
Speaker 5: It just is a joy.
Speaker 8: To live that way. And when you give those things,
Speaker 8: you get them back.
Speaker 3: Generally speaking, if you're married to a healthy and decent person,
Speaker 3: you will back in a moment. So I've been bringing
Speaker 3: to your attention a weight loss program. I've only endorsed
Speaker 3: one on my show, and I've been asked often, but
Speaker 3: I did once have a weight loss product. But this
Speaker 3: is a program. It's called PhD Weight Loss and Nutrition.
Speaker 3: If you're watching the show as opposed to just listening,
Speaker 3: you'll see on the screen actual results of people who
Speaker 3: have embarked on the program. The program gives you a coach.
Speaker 3: I think that is an extremely important thing, monitoring your
Speaker 3: progress or for that matter, lack of progress, And it
Speaker 3: is a way of eating. It's not just weight loss.
Speaker 3: That's why it's called weight loss and nutrition. I think
Speaker 3: you should schedule a one on one consult see if
Speaker 3: it's right for you. Go to myphdweightloss dot com or
Speaker 3: call eight six four six four four nineteen hundred myphdweight
Speaker 3: loss dot com. Male female hour. Interesting question about the
Speaker 3: comment that you often hear, oh, marriage is work or
Speaker 3: marriage takes work. So young people who hear this are
Speaker 3: scared off. Whereas when you tell them, well, every job
Speaker 3: takes work, well, a fair number don't want to do
Speaker 3: that either, But everything worthwhile takes work. However, I have
Speaker 3: some sympathy for those who think maybe it should be
Speaker 3: easier than work. I do have some sympathy for that.
Speaker 3: That is the that is an ideal, but you still
Speaker 3: let you have to work at it. But that's true
Speaker 3: in the sense. You have to work at your health,
Speaker 3: you have to you work at your happiness, you have
Speaker 3: to work at your religion. I mean, what good thing
Speaker 3: do you not have to work at? Right? Life, liberty,
Speaker 3: and the pursuit of happiness. Pursuing happiness takes work. So
Speaker 3: I have a happiness hour. Okay, let's see here. Very interesting,
Speaker 3: So Steve, Bob j Doug Thomas, and Mary. So it's
Speaker 3: five men and two women. Not uncommon ratio. You wouldn't
Speaker 3: expect that on the male female hour. Okay, let's see,
Speaker 3: Well here's a contrary if you Mary in Sarasota, Florida.
Speaker 2: Hello, doctor Craiger. So good to speak with you for
Speaker 2: the first time ever.
Speaker 3: Thank you.
Speaker 1: So.
Speaker 2: My deal is that having had a good marital partnership
Speaker 2: for nineteen great years. The relationship was not difficult, but
Speaker 2: we worked hard. I supported my husband in a way
Speaker 2: that he was able to start his own business, and
Speaker 2: we didn't have children terribly early on, and we enjoyed
Speaker 2: time together and there was an ease. I liked your
Speaker 2: word easy. Things were easy. You know. I'm a lover,
Speaker 2: not a fighter. I don't understand these people that think
Speaker 2: they have to have a good study every once in
Speaker 2: a while, just you know, to keep things alive. I'm sorry,
Speaker 2: I don't get that anyway. Long story short is round
Speaker 2: about the twentieth year, because we had such an adyllic life,
Speaker 2: seemingly a friend of the family decided that she wanted
Speaker 2: what I had, and my dear husband disrespected and betrayed
Speaker 2: all the trust that I ever extended to him. So,
Speaker 2: while I had two terminally ill parents, one with Alzheimer's,
Speaker 2: one with cancer, he picked a fine time to decide
Speaker 2: to have a bad case of the middle aged crazies.
Speaker 2: And I said, I don't have enough energy to do
Speaker 2: the work that it would take, particularly when he said
Speaker 2: I don't need any of that psychology shig okay. So
Speaker 2: that was that, and I'm way down the road from
Speaker 2: that and happy, happy, happy, And the best thing that
Speaker 2: I could ever have done was to encourage the children
Speaker 2: to have a good relationship with the parent, their parent,
Speaker 2: their father.
Speaker 3: Well, I shall loute you for that. That speaks volumes
Speaker 3: about your character because a lot of women alienate their
Speaker 3: children from the ex husband.
Speaker 2: Thank you, doctor Prager, your wisdom and your sage advice
Speaker 2: that I have been listening to for months and months
Speaker 2: and years. Finally today I'll let you know how much
Speaker 2: I appreciate you.
Speaker 3: Well, that's very kind. Really, it touches me. Thank you.
Speaker 3: By the way, for the record, I'm not a doctor.
Speaker 3: Just for the record, it reminds me of a story
Speaker 3: in my from my twenties. I was giving a lecture
Speaker 3: of a synagogue and I was in my twenties. As
Speaker 3: I said, it was an older Jew kept calling me
Speaker 3: Duc del Praguel. He had a Yiddish accent. Finally I
Speaker 3: realized it's gonna I knew why he was calling me
Speaker 3: doctor Prager, because it was hard for him to believe
Speaker 3: that I was that young and he could learn from me,
Speaker 3: and I didn't have a PhD. So finally I said
Speaker 3: to him, sir, right, I know this, this may and
Speaker 3: your particular desire to hear me, but I'm not a doctor.
Speaker 3: And he thought for a moment, and he said, by me,
Speaker 3: you have a ductail his truth.
Speaker 1: This episode of Timeless Wisdom will continue right after this.
Speaker 1: Now back to more of Dennis Prager's Timeless.
Speaker 3: Wisdom Male Female Hour, and it is the an analysis
Speaker 3: of the widespread sentiment marriage is work or marriage takes
Speaker 3: work and your take on it and my take on it. Okay,
Speaker 3: let's see here. Nikki in Auburn, California.
Speaker 6: Hello, Hey, Dana's great topic. By the way, good, yes,
Speaker 6: thank you.
Speaker 1: Hey.
Speaker 6: My original thought was, and I still think this is
Speaker 6: very true. When women began to be in the workplace,
Speaker 6: I think marriage became a lot harder because the roles
Speaker 6: were now not as distinctive, and I know with my
Speaker 6: own self. My own case is my husband were both
Speaker 6: newly retired early sixties, and you know, when the kids
Speaker 6: were home and we were both working full time, it
Speaker 6: was hard. Who's going to make dinner? Oh well I
Speaker 6: did it yesterday, It's your turn to night. We were both
Speaker 6: coaching our kids in sports. I mean, it was a
Speaker 6: super busy life and it was it was hard. We
Speaker 6: got through it beautifully, and I love what an earlier
Speaker 6: collar talked about, you know, having a servant's heart. But
Speaker 6: really had to grow on me. And I grew up
Speaker 6: not being a marriage. I was raised by a single
Speaker 6: parent and never saw, you know, really a good marriage
Speaker 6: at work. And so when I got married at twenty six,
Speaker 6: I really had no clue what I was getting into.
Speaker 6: And I'll never forget the night before the wedding, my
Speaker 6: maid of honor told my husband Eve better watch it
Speaker 6: out for her. She's a pistol. And I was. I had,
Speaker 6: I was. I was full of pride and that's something
Speaker 6: I had to work on my husband. And I was liberal.
Speaker 6: My husband was conservative. We had to work a lot
Speaker 6: of things out. Fortunately I came to his side and
Speaker 6: we both became people faith, and that helped tremendously. But
Speaker 6: now that we're you know, retired, the kids have been
Speaker 6: gone for fifteen years, it's not hard. It's maintenance, but
Speaker 6: it's not hard maintenance.
Speaker 3: That's good term. It's like it's sort of like maintaining
Speaker 3: your hair, like the previous woman called.
Speaker 6: Exactly, and that's what that popped into my mind when
Speaker 6: she was describing that. I mean, just making sure you know,
Speaker 6: you set a time for date night, you set a time,
Speaker 6: not a set of time, but make sure you have romance,
Speaker 6: even though you might not be in the mood and all.
Speaker 6: That's important and we're just probably happier and are satisfied
Speaker 6: than ever. But I do think those early days, right.
Speaker 3: We're in the home in light, we think, in light
Speaker 3: of your realization of how much more difficult it is
Speaker 3: now that both are earners and there is no division
Speaker 3: of roles. Do you think that that's well, I'll ask
Speaker 3: you it this way. Do you think the ideal is
Speaker 3: that one usually the man can support the home and
Speaker 3: then she can stay home, or do you think that
Speaker 3: that's not an ideal no matter? Why?
Speaker 6: No, I honestly I think that's an ideal situation I'm
Speaker 6: watching my son and his wife. They're both nurses, and
Speaker 6: they have opposite shifts because they don't want to pay
Speaker 6: for daycare, and it's hard. You know. He was like,
Speaker 6: I have to go. I have to go make her dinner.
Speaker 6: Of course she has to go to work. You know.
Speaker 6: It's I think ideally that is the best situation. Either
Speaker 6: parent doesn't have to be the wife.
Speaker 3: Right, I agree with you. I agree. Yeah, Well, you're
Speaker 3: intellectually honest. That's I appreciate it, Thank you very much.
Speaker 3: That's a test. I find that to be a test
Speaker 3: of a person's intellectual honesty. Like I I have a
Speaker 3: test of an atheist when I have a debate, which
Speaker 3: I periodically do with atheists, I asked them, do you
Speaker 3: hope you're right? Or do you hope you're wrong? And
Speaker 3: if they're intellectually honest, they hope they're wrong. You have
Speaker 3: to be intellectually dishonest to hope. There is no God,
Speaker 3: there is no ultimate justice, there is no reuniting with
Speaker 3: loved ones, there's nothing. Life is meaningless. You're rooting for that, Okay,
Speaker 3: it's hard. It means in non intellectually honest likewise, where
Speaker 3: two people have worked and made a go of the marriage,
Speaker 3: which she did obviously, I will ask, well, would you
Speaker 3: say that the ideal is both working, both divvying homework
Speaker 3: and an income, or is it ideal if one could
Speaker 3: support and one financially and one do the world of
Speaker 3: home and children. I think that the latter is obviously
Speaker 3: the ideal. Okay, let's go on. It was good all right,
Speaker 3: Bob and Galina Ohio. Hello, Bob, Well, Donni's good day.
Speaker 3: Good day.
Speaker 9: So my thoughts on marriage where it's more than work,
Speaker 9: it is sacrifice. Work is often a pejorative, but I
Speaker 9: mean work can be good. Your sports analogy was app
Speaker 9: and it is work and sacrifice to be good at
Speaker 9: any sport. And before my children moved out, growing up,
Speaker 9: I constantly reinforced that you're not working for something. You
Speaker 9: don't know the value of anything. And so whether that's
Speaker 9: a job to get your money in your first car,
Speaker 9: or even just be great at your sport, had time
Speaker 9: for the job. But it's all work. And really again
Speaker 9: it's not it's not works. Not a bad thing, but
Speaker 9: I think a good marriage, successful marriage, requires a little sacrifice.
Speaker 9: And it was a point brought up to me by
Speaker 9: my wife because we were discussing our grown children and
Speaker 9: the idea of them living with someone or not living
Speaker 9: with someone, versus being married. We are very conservative, we
Speaker 9: preperve they all marry, but they choose to live their
Speaker 9: own lives. But the main point she was making, and
Speaker 9: I really clung on to it, I thought it was beautiful,
Speaker 9: was just that those who choose never to get married,
Speaker 9: I just choose to cohabitate. There's there's no sacrifice. And
Speaker 9: I really felt like that was very apt, very prone.
Speaker 9: She and I both are in a second marriage. Like you,
Speaker 9: I broke back into prison, as some of my friends
Speaker 9: like to say.
Speaker 3: And the uh.
Speaker 9: This, this has been a beautiful marriage that we've add
Speaker 9: together for early twenty years now. The first go around,
Speaker 9: I would say that my partner didn't want to put
Speaker 9: in the work. I would say that it's similar for her,
Speaker 9: and in her case, she actually lived with her first spouse.
Speaker 3: All right, I got to hold it there, hold on,
Speaker 3: my friend, thank you, well, this has been exactly what
Speaker 3: I assumed it would be. Because the intelligence of you
Speaker 3: out there calling in marriage is work. It's a very famous,
Speaker 3: famous it's a very widespread sentiment, conventional wisdom. As my
Speaker 3: producer puts it, and a lot of conventional wisdom is accurate.
Speaker 3: So it's we haven't resolved the question of ideally, is
Speaker 3: it less work? And I yes, that's my that's my
Speaker 3: belief if that's the ideal. But even if it's less work,
Speaker 3: of course it's if it's effortful, of course it is.
Speaker 3: If that's what work means, of course it's effortful. I
Speaker 3: write a column each week, would I say it's work? Yes,
Speaker 3: it's work? But is it? Is it unpleasant work? It
Speaker 3: Isn't the appearance of the column each week worth it?
Speaker 3: I guess that that's the big The big question is
Speaker 3: is it worth it? Would it be better? How's this?
Speaker 3: Would it be better if I wrote no column it
Speaker 3: would be easier. Would it be better if I wrote
Speaker 3: no books? It would be a lot easier. Takes a
Speaker 3: lot of work to write a book. I've written nine.
Speaker 3: I think it's nine. It might be ten. Takes a
Speaker 3: lot of work. So I think what one has to ask?
Speaker 3: See this is the beauty how having a radio show
Speaker 3: has so helped my thinking because I have to think
Speaker 3: things through with you. The question is not is barriage work?
Speaker 3: The question is is it worth it? Because that's the
Speaker 3: question of all the work that we do in our
Speaker 3: life is is this child? Was this child worth the
Speaker 3: work I put in? Now, a lot of people may
Speaker 3: not be honest about saying the truth is it isn't
Speaker 3: not because they it's too painful to admit you're you
Speaker 3: don't have a particularly lovable child or likable which is
Speaker 3: more realistic? Was your worth? Was your work worth the
Speaker 3: work your career, your job? That's that is the question.
Speaker 3: So the next time a young person tells you, you know,
Speaker 3: everybody tells me that marriage is work, you tell them, yeah,
Speaker 3: so so is sports. What is it? What is it work?
Speaker 3: That's the point.
Speaker 1: Tomorrow on Timeless Wisdom with Dennis Prager.
Speaker 3: Not only is the issue this is the ultimate Issues hour.
Speaker 3: Not only does the issue and I'm Dennis Prager, thank
Speaker 3: you for being with me. Not only does the issue,
Speaker 3: try take three. Not only does the How else could
Speaker 3: I interrupt myself? It's a little it's a little sad
Speaker 3: when you're not interrupted by others but yourself.
Speaker 1: Join us tomorrow to hear more on Timeless Wisdom with
Speaker 1: Dennis Prager. This has been Timeless Wisdom with Dennis Prager.
Speaker 1: Visit Dennisprager dot com for thousands of hours of Dennis's lectures,
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