WEBVTT - Is Marriage Really Work? 0:00:00.400 --> 0:00:03.040 On today's episode of Timeless Wisdom. 0:00:03.520 --> 0:00:07.520 Thank you, doctor Prager, your wisdom and your sage advice 0:00:08.320 --> 0:00:11.039 that I have been listening to for months and months 0:00:11.039 --> 0:00:14.120 and years. Finally today I'll let you know how much 0:00:14.160 --> 0:00:15.000 I appreciate you. 0:00:15.160 --> 0:00:17.880 Well, that's very kind. Really, it touches me. Thank you. 0:00:19.320 --> 0:00:21.439 By the way, for the record, I'm not a doctor. 0:00:22.480 --> 0:00:22.960 Just for the. 0:00:22.960 --> 0:00:26.520 Record, that's coming up on Timeless Wisdom with Dennis Prager. 0:00:27.600 --> 0:00:31.920 Welcome to Timeless Wisdom with Dennis Prager. Here thousands of 0:00:31.960 --> 0:00:35.599 hours of Dennis's lectures, courses, and classic radio programs had 0:00:35.600 --> 0:00:42.480 to purchase Dennis Prager's Rational Bibles, go to Dennisprager dot com. 0:00:42.920 --> 0:00:45.280 Well it's Wednesday, so it's the time for the Male 0:00:45.360 --> 0:00:47.720 Female Hour, the most honest talk I am aware of 0:00:47.760 --> 0:00:49.960 about men and women. And part of the reason is 0:00:50.040 --> 0:00:53.040 I'm not inhibited about talking about any aspect of male 0:00:53.120 --> 0:00:57.920 female relations. And I am neither a fan of men 0:00:58.120 --> 0:01:00.560 or a fan of women. I don't even know understand 0:01:00.600 --> 0:01:08.200 that I understand being a fan of good people, male 0:01:08.360 --> 0:01:12.600 or female. I truly am not a man fan, even 0:01:12.640 --> 0:01:15.240 though I'm a man, and I'm truly not a woman fan, 0:01:15.360 --> 0:01:19.800 even though I'm a man, I don't know what there 0:01:19.920 --> 0:01:26.039 is to root for in either case. Terrific people exist 0:01:26.640 --> 0:01:29.479 of either sex and awful people exist of either sex, 0:01:29.720 --> 0:01:35.080 and there are only two sexes for the record, even 0:01:35.160 --> 0:01:43.080 if you redefine sex as gender. Well, my friends, I 0:01:43.120 --> 0:01:47.880 have a new topic for you today. All of my life, 0:01:48.280 --> 0:01:52.640 from before I ever got married, I heard the following 0:01:53.000 --> 0:02:02.360 phrase marriage is work or marriage takes work? Right, the 0:02:02.440 --> 0:02:10.360 same thing? Correct, Yeah, marriage takes work. So this is 0:02:10.400 --> 0:02:14.440 one of those male female hours where you really provide 0:02:14.880 --> 0:02:19.800 much of the content. Call in now. If you agree 0:02:19.880 --> 0:02:25.760 that marriage is work, please call in, or if you 0:02:25.800 --> 0:02:29.280 have any reaction to the phrase one eight prager seven 0:02:29.400 --> 0:02:33.160 seven six eight seven seven two four three triple seven six. 0:02:38.160 --> 0:02:44.160 When I heard it before I ever got married, I 0:02:44.160 --> 0:02:48.079 always wanted to be prepared for life and not have 0:02:48.360 --> 0:02:56.720 unrealistic quote unquote romantic unquote expectations. And I will just say, 0:02:56.840 --> 0:02:59.960 if i'd have asked my parents, who were married six 0:03:00.280 --> 0:03:05.359 nine years together for seventy three, if i'd have asked them, 0:03:05.800 --> 0:03:12.799 would you characterize marriage as work? I didn't. I never 0:03:12.919 --> 0:03:15.320 pose the question to them, so I can't tell you 0:03:15.360 --> 0:03:17.920 for certain, but I'm pretty sure where they would have 0:03:18.000 --> 0:03:24.120 said no. I mean, look, there is nothing in life 0:03:24.440 --> 0:03:29.960 that you engage in that doesn't take work. So in 0:03:29.960 --> 0:03:34.400 that sense, you know you might as well say staying 0:03:34.520 --> 0:03:41.960 single takes work. Right. So the reason I'm raising it 0:03:42.040 --> 0:03:48.640 is I had a a friend when he was a bachelor, 0:03:48.680 --> 0:03:52.680 and he was a bachelor through his thirties, very good 0:03:52.720 --> 0:04:00.560 looking guy, very He was charismatic and still is stillismatic 0:04:00.640 --> 0:04:05.520 and obviously older, still a good looking guy. He eventually 0:04:05.560 --> 0:04:10.040 got married, had two children, and then divorced. But I 0:04:10.120 --> 0:04:15.680 remember him saying to me, He says, Dennis, everybody tells 0:04:15.720 --> 0:04:18.799 me marriages work. Why would I want to get married 0:04:19.000 --> 0:04:23.839 If marriage is work. I work all day. I don't 0:04:23.839 --> 0:04:26.760 want to come home and work. I'll never forget his 0:04:26.920 --> 0:04:31.640 arguing that. I'll continue in a moment. 0:04:31.760 --> 0:04:35.080 This episode of Timeless Wisdom will continue right after this. 0:04:40.560 --> 0:04:48.000 Now back to more of Dennis Prager's timeless wisdom. 0:04:48.120 --> 0:04:51.640 Hi everybody, Dennis Prager here a male female hour. I'm 0:04:51.760 --> 0:04:55.680 addressing the issue, and I'm relying on your calling and 0:04:57.000 --> 0:05:04.560 philosophizing about it. The the statement, oh, well, religion it 0:05:04.600 --> 0:05:08.760 takes a lot of work. Not religion. Sorry, I have 0:05:08.880 --> 0:05:12.000 a reason that I said religion, But i'll I will 0:05:12.080 --> 0:05:15.760 or will not get to that later. A marriage takes work. 0:05:16.279 --> 0:05:18.479 Marriage is work. Manage takes work. So I had this 0:05:18.560 --> 0:05:26.039 bachelor friend who was very popular among women, and he 0:05:26.480 --> 0:05:30.240 said to me, I got married years before he did. 0:05:31.520 --> 0:05:34.800 And he said to me frequently, he said, Dennis, everybody 0:05:35.000 --> 0:05:40.120 who's married, or virtually everybody says to me, marriage is work. Well, 0:05:40.160 --> 0:05:42.039 I work all day. I don't want to come home 0:05:42.080 --> 0:05:46.840 and work. Never forgets saying that, And it was not 0:05:47.080 --> 0:05:52.719 a not a ridiculous argument. I work at the office, 0:05:52.800 --> 0:05:57.160 and now I come home and I work again. What 0:05:57.200 --> 0:05:58.640 do you say to the what do you say to 0:05:58.680 --> 0:06:04.840 the guy? Now? So he there is, of course, there 0:06:04.880 --> 0:06:09.800 are any number that is, are any number of responses. 0:06:09.839 --> 0:06:16.920 First of all, everything takes work. Everything video games don't 0:06:16.920 --> 0:06:21.840 take work. It's a it's just play. I get it. 0:06:24.400 --> 0:06:28.320 And by the way, that is what a fair number 0:06:28.520 --> 0:06:31.800 of apparently young men are opting to do is play 0:06:31.880 --> 0:06:38.479 video games and not work at marriage. And same with women. 0:06:38.920 --> 0:06:41.600 It's not video games. Whatever it is for them, I 0:06:41.600 --> 0:06:47.560 don't know, taking taking care of a pet, or engaging 0:06:47.600 --> 0:06:50.239 in some social cause. I don't I don't know whatever 0:06:50.240 --> 0:06:57.119 it might be. So one answer to marriage takes work? 0:06:57.279 --> 0:07:05.840 Is what doesn't take work? Seriously, what doesn't work takes work? And, 0:07:05.880 --> 0:07:11.800 by the way, is that invalidate work because it is work? 0:07:13.720 --> 0:07:17.559 Would any there are people, i imagine, would say it takes 0:07:18.520 --> 0:07:22.320 too much work, my job takes too much work. Okay, 0:07:22.520 --> 0:07:27.400 take another job. But it would be an odd thing 0:07:27.520 --> 0:07:34.680 for somebody to say, you know, work takes work. Right, Yes, 0:07:34.840 --> 0:07:39.360 work takes work. That's why it's called work. But that 0:07:39.440 --> 0:07:43.760 doesn't invalidate the great use of work in people's lives. 0:07:46.000 --> 0:07:49.440 For most people, work is a good thing. By the way, 0:07:49.480 --> 0:07:53.360 work doesn't necessarily mean outside of the house. Taking care 0:07:53.400 --> 0:07:54.960 of a house is a hell of a lot of 0:07:55.000 --> 0:08:04.679 work too. I mean, what doesn't take work? Sports takes 0:08:04.720 --> 0:08:09.559 an incredible amount of work. How many how many people 0:08:09.640 --> 0:08:13.400 who finally make it to the major leagues the National 0:08:13.440 --> 0:08:19.480 Hockey League, the National Football League, Major League Baseball, and NFL, NBA, 0:08:19.720 --> 0:08:23.880 how many people who finally get there? Goes I'm sorry, 0:08:23.920 --> 0:08:32.000 it's too much work. I'm leaving. So, even on the 0:08:32.040 --> 0:08:37.280 face of it, the comment marriage takes work, the real 0:08:37.400 --> 0:08:45.439 answer is so what. I have other thoughts on this, obviously, 0:08:45.600 --> 0:08:53.160 but that hardly invalidates marriage as a spectacularly good option 0:08:53.320 --> 0:08:56.640 for your life. Let us say it does take work. Fine, 0:08:56.720 --> 0:09:01.240 let us let us even say it does. What good 0:09:01.400 --> 0:09:09.839 thing in life name one that doesn't take work, but that, 0:09:10.240 --> 0:09:15.400 for whatever reason work taking work. That's okay. Children take 0:09:15.720 --> 0:09:21.040 a lot of work. And if and if they if, 0:09:21.600 --> 0:09:25.480 if it works out, if your kid turns out to 0:09:25.520 --> 0:09:31.000 be a decent kid, well really decent adult, it was 0:09:31.040 --> 0:09:37.240 worth it. Those what isn't Those who sew in the 0:09:37.360 --> 0:09:46.400 tears will reap enjoy famous biblical phrase. So the comment 0:09:46.720 --> 0:09:51.960 does not invalidate marriage. Everything takes work. But I have 0:09:52.040 --> 0:10:00.920 another position as well, within the parameters of what work means. 0:10:02.040 --> 0:10:07.800 The ideal I will acknowledge is that work, that marriage 0:10:07.880 --> 0:10:15.400 not take that much work. My friends, from my friend 0:10:15.440 --> 0:10:18.840 from many years ago, the bachelor, who said, you know, 0:10:18.960 --> 0:10:20.480 I work all day. I don't want to come home 0:10:20.480 --> 0:10:27.720 and work again, it was not a silly comment. If 0:10:27.760 --> 0:10:36.280 your marriage is primarily work, I salute you for engaging 0:10:36.280 --> 0:10:40.960 in that work. I commend you, I praise you. But 0:10:41.240 --> 0:10:46.000 I don't think that that is what marriage ideally is about. 0:10:47.240 --> 0:10:57.520 It certainly is about working on oneself. That's true. The 0:10:57.640 --> 0:11:04.959 human being finds it easier not to live with someone 0:11:05.080 --> 0:11:07.240 than to live with someone. I'm just talking about on 0:11:07.600 --> 0:11:13.600 the fulfilling what one wants aspect, not on the ultimate 0:11:13.640 --> 0:11:17.080 happiness aspect. All right, let me let me go to 0:11:17.120 --> 0:11:32.040 your calls here, let's see okay, mmmmmm, well all right. 0:11:32.200 --> 0:11:34.920 Bob in Pasadena, California, Hello. 0:11:35.800 --> 0:11:37.000 Hello, devis Hi. 0:11:39.400 --> 0:11:42.280 Well, good glad to hear it. 0:11:42.320 --> 0:11:43.680 Thanks for your show and you're wisdom. 0:11:44.280 --> 0:11:44.640 Thank you. 0:11:47.240 --> 0:11:51.880 So anything you care about takes work, and I think 0:11:51.920 --> 0:11:54.360 the amount of care will determine the amount of work 0:11:54.400 --> 0:12:02.080 you put into it. Aglar case. You know, the marriage 0:12:02.120 --> 0:12:04.880 had a lot of ups and downs. We hung in there, 0:12:06.080 --> 0:12:09.440 and now we're, you know, forty two years later, rewarding, 0:12:09.679 --> 0:12:11.520 rewarded with the benefit of the work and. 0:12:11.520 --> 0:12:14.800 The patience, and what is the what is the reward? 0:12:18.320 --> 0:12:20.360 We still have each other and we're closer than we 0:12:20.360 --> 0:12:23.880 were because we got through the years of pride and 0:12:23.920 --> 0:12:30.040 selfishness and became servants to each other. I asked my 0:12:30.600 --> 0:12:33.240 uncle one time, why is your marriage so strong with 0:12:33.320 --> 0:12:36.200 my aunt? And he said, I find out what she 0:12:36.320 --> 0:12:39.680 wants and I insist on it. And he could say 0:12:39.720 --> 0:12:42.839 that because she felt the same way about him. There 0:12:42.880 --> 0:12:46.080 was a lot of humility and lack of pride in 0:12:46.120 --> 0:12:49.400 that relationship, So I tried to remember that. I heard 0:12:49.400 --> 0:12:52.320 that when I was much younger. It's not easy, but 0:12:53.720 --> 0:12:56.959 good words and wisdom. 0:12:57.200 --> 0:13:02.240 What percentage of your year is marriage wise easy and 0:13:02.320 --> 0:13:03.920 what percentage is hard work? 0:13:06.960 --> 0:13:12.000 Prior to a life changing accident in our relationship, I 0:13:12.080 --> 0:13:18.600 would say it was fifty to fifty, But due to 0:13:18.640 --> 0:13:23.920 my wife's current situation, it's it's humbled me, it's drawne 0:13:24.040 --> 0:13:28.840 us closer together, it's put things in perspective what's really important, 0:13:29.800 --> 0:13:35.960 And so now it's it's it's hard work, but the 0:13:36.040 --> 0:13:37.520 relationship couldn't be closer. 0:13:39.200 --> 0:13:41.480 Is it still fifty to fifty over the course of 0:13:41.480 --> 0:13:41.840 a year. 0:13:43.040 --> 0:13:51.040 No way, No, it's uh closer and easier. 0:13:51.920 --> 0:13:56.600 Okay, all right, Well that that's that's what I obviously 0:13:56.720 --> 0:14:09.800 was hoping to hear. Yeah, yeah, it's an interesting question. 0:14:15.800 --> 0:14:18.640 I've been divorced, I've been and I'm very happily married. 0:14:18.800 --> 0:14:28.920 Were together twenty years, so I really know what exists 0:14:28.960 --> 0:14:40.880 in marriage. Believe me, I know all things considered easy 0:14:41.080 --> 0:14:50.840 at home is better than difficult at home, I admit 0:14:51.200 --> 0:15:01.720 is not a particularly profound insight. So I'm torn on 0:15:01.760 --> 0:15:07.200 the issue. How much work as such? Should it take. Oh, 0:15:07.280 --> 0:15:15.840 I think it's worth it. But ideally it is an 0:15:15.880 --> 0:15:22.240 easier marriage better than one that has to be worth 0:15:22.320 --> 0:15:23.560 a back in a moment. 0:15:23.920 --> 0:15:27.280 This episode of Timeless Wisdom will continue right after this. 0:15:32.760 --> 0:15:40.160 Now back to more of Dennis Prager's Timeless Wisdom. 0:15:40.480 --> 0:15:43.880 So this is the Male Female Hour, and I'm posing 0:15:44.240 --> 0:15:49.560 an interesting question the phrase marriage is work? Where marriage 0:15:49.600 --> 0:15:57.240 takes work? So what do you make of it? And 0:15:57.800 --> 0:16:01.160 why do you answer a person who doesn't want to 0:16:01.160 --> 0:16:03.600 get married, They say, you know, everybody who gets married 0:16:03.640 --> 0:16:08.800 says it takes work. So I gave an answer, can 0:16:08.840 --> 0:16:11.640 you can you name me anything worthwhile in life that 0:16:11.680 --> 0:16:19.000 doesn't take work? But admittedly I would I think, having 0:16:19.400 --> 0:16:23.880 been in both types of marriages, that marriages that don't 0:16:23.920 --> 0:16:32.120 take a lot of work and are good marriages, that's 0:16:32.160 --> 0:16:37.760 that's the ideal. Obviously, you have to be aware at 0:16:37.760 --> 0:16:43.240 all times of my my duties as a husband, my 0:16:43.360 --> 0:16:47.640 duties as a wife. How can I how can I 0:16:47.680 --> 0:16:53.120 make life easier for my my spouse? I mean, that's 0:16:53.120 --> 0:16:58.960 all that's all accurate, but I think to see marriage 0:16:59.000 --> 0:17:05.800 as primarily work. While I would still defend marriage and 0:17:07.080 --> 0:17:09.199 hats off to those of you who engage in it. 0:17:09.280 --> 0:17:13.240 I think the ideal is that its primary characteristic would 0:17:13.280 --> 0:17:18.560 not be work, although for many people it is work 0:17:19.240 --> 0:17:23.520 until it's less work. Like the caller earlier, it went 0:17:23.600 --> 0:17:28.760 from fifty percent work, fifty percent NOTT work to while 0:17:28.800 --> 0:17:35.919 I was at ninety percent not work. Okay, as usual, 0:17:36.000 --> 0:17:40.880 I love hearing from you on these matters. Okay, let's 0:17:40.920 --> 0:17:46.080 see here, Joshua and Sacramento, California. 0:17:46.119 --> 0:17:49.760 Hello, Heay, how are you doing well? 0:17:50.119 --> 0:17:50.280 Oh? 0:17:51.480 --> 0:17:57.240 I'm good. So I was thinking the benefits outweigh any 0:17:57.320 --> 0:18:06.240 effort you put in marriage. So you're a lazy man 0:18:07.480 --> 0:18:11.359 if you think it's not worth you try and to 0:18:11.560 --> 0:18:17.720 have common ground with your spouse, your wife. So this 0:18:17.760 --> 0:18:22.199 is of course after you've made the marriage valve. So 0:18:22.240 --> 0:18:25.080 this is not dating. This is when you're in a 0:18:25.119 --> 0:18:30.960 committed relationship. If it's before, I still think it's the 0:18:31.000 --> 0:18:34.440 same thought process. But the difference is you can make 0:18:34.480 --> 0:18:37.919 a choice if it's not worth it for you, but 0:18:38.119 --> 0:18:45.520 once you made it, it's worth it. You know, let's 0:18:45.520 --> 0:18:47.480 just be honest. If you don't, if you want to 0:18:47.480 --> 0:18:49.240 be a lazy, then then don't commit. 0:18:50.640 --> 0:18:52.879 Yeah, that's a good line. If you want to be lazy, 0:18:52.920 --> 0:18:56.960 don't commit. I would agree with that, all right, I 0:18:57.000 --> 0:19:01.440 appreciate it. Let's see any women calling in here. Yeah, 0:19:01.600 --> 0:19:03.920 Monique in Los Angeles, Hello. 0:19:04.760 --> 0:19:06.400 Hi Dennis, how are you good? 0:19:06.520 --> 0:19:07.000 Thank you? 0:19:08.119 --> 0:19:12.040 So I think marriage is one hundred percent work, but 0:19:12.160 --> 0:19:13.399 it's not tedious work. 0:19:14.359 --> 0:19:15.320 It's daily work. 0:19:15.600 --> 0:19:17.520 It's daily communication. 0:19:18.200 --> 0:19:21.840 I kind of liken it to my hair. I wash 0:19:21.920 --> 0:19:24.200 my hair, I condition my hair, I cut my hair, 0:19:24.320 --> 0:19:26.840 I color my hair, I style it, I brush it. 0:19:27.920 --> 0:19:29.800 If I don't do anything to my hair on a 0:19:29.880 --> 0:19:33.800 daily basis, over time it will become very matted and 0:19:33.960 --> 0:19:37.159 difficult to deal with, and my options will be to 0:19:37.200 --> 0:19:40.600 cut it off or have a really bad head of hair. 0:19:41.480 --> 0:19:45.040 So in we're in marriage, if you just do the 0:19:45.160 --> 0:19:50.760 daily things of communicating and loving and caring and nurturing, 0:19:51.840 --> 0:19:55.160 you don't end up with those big mats of hair 0:19:55.280 --> 0:19:59.119 that you can't taint. It's it's really rather easy. 0:20:00.040 --> 0:20:05.520 But it is what I like that marriage. I'm not 0:20:05.560 --> 0:20:08.360 saying this is a joke. It's just a new way 0:20:08.400 --> 0:20:11.160 of looking at it. Marriage. Taking care of your marriage 0:20:11.200 --> 0:20:14.919 is like taking care of your hair, especially for a woman. Yes, 0:20:15.040 --> 0:20:21.639 that's a very excellent point. The fact that it takes 0:20:21.720 --> 0:20:26.920 work to keep your hair looking good, or for that matter, 0:20:26.920 --> 0:20:32.359 it takes work to stay looking good after you're a 0:20:32.400 --> 0:20:36.200 certain age. Obviously takes much less work when you're younger. 0:20:40.480 --> 0:20:44.879 It is true, but it is not invalidating. It just 0:20:45.000 --> 0:20:49.320 means with work, you're going to get a reward. I'm 0:20:49.320 --> 0:20:52.120 thinking this through as I speak to you, and I 0:20:52.160 --> 0:20:57.560 realize whereas I'm of the opinion as I said earlier, 0:20:57.720 --> 0:21:02.520 that all things being equal, I would rather go home 0:21:03.600 --> 0:21:07.760 to an easy place to be than a place of work. 0:21:09.800 --> 0:21:15.200 But having said that, it is definitely worth the work 0:21:16.359 --> 0:21:19.720 to work on a marriage. That is absolutely correct. But 0:21:19.800 --> 0:21:22.080 I did hint at something else earlier, and that is 0:21:22.119 --> 0:21:29.960 working on yourself. Whatever the joy or work in a 0:21:30.000 --> 0:21:34.159 given marriage, there is still working on yourself. Men still 0:21:34.200 --> 0:21:39.720 have to discipline their sexual nature in order to keep 0:21:39.760 --> 0:21:43.760 their marriage for that matter, not just keep their marriage happy. 0:21:44.359 --> 0:21:47.720 That would be an example. It is not the same 0:21:47.760 --> 0:21:52.480 struggle for women. Women have different struggles. That is usually 0:21:52.560 --> 0:21:57.879 not the same struggle. And it is amazing how people 0:21:57.920 --> 0:22:02.600 want to deny it. But I've lived with that fact 0:22:02.880 --> 0:22:05.800 much of my life, that people want to deny basic truths. 0:22:06.760 --> 0:22:10.920 All right, let's see Patsy in Greenville, South Carolina. Hello, 0:22:12.560 --> 0:22:13.680 he did it. Hi. 0:22:15.240 --> 0:22:16.560 Hey, I don't think it's work. 0:22:17.440 --> 0:22:18.440 You don't think it's work. 0:22:19.640 --> 0:22:25.440 No, it's if if you you have to have commitment, respect, patience, 0:22:25.480 --> 0:22:27.720 and kindness, And that's not work. 0:22:29.800 --> 0:22:34.080 Well to be to be precise, it's work on yourself 0:22:36.280 --> 0:22:41.600 to attain those To attain those qualities takes takes effort. 0:22:42.920 --> 0:22:45.639 God takes care of it. Though you're just getting his words. 0:22:45.720 --> 0:22:47.800 You'll have those things. It just is so natural. 0:22:47.880 --> 0:22:49.200 It just is a joy. 0:22:50.760 --> 0:22:53.160 To live that way. And when you give those things, 0:22:53.200 --> 0:22:53.960 you get them back. 0:22:55.440 --> 0:22:58.879 Generally speaking, if you're married to a healthy and decent person, 0:22:58.960 --> 0:23:05.600 you will back in a moment. So I've been bringing 0:23:05.600 --> 0:23:09.200 to your attention a weight loss program. I've only endorsed 0:23:09.240 --> 0:23:13.560 one on my show, and I've been asked often, but 0:23:13.720 --> 0:23:16.640 I did once have a weight loss product. But this 0:23:16.720 --> 0:23:21.880 is a program. It's called PhD Weight Loss and Nutrition. 0:23:23.400 --> 0:23:26.600 If you're watching the show as opposed to just listening, 0:23:26.640 --> 0:23:32.119 you'll see on the screen actual results of people who 0:23:32.200 --> 0:23:35.800 have embarked on the program. The program gives you a coach. 0:23:36.520 --> 0:23:40.880 I think that is an extremely important thing, monitoring your 0:23:40.920 --> 0:23:46.719 progress or for that matter, lack of progress, And it 0:23:46.840 --> 0:23:50.560 is a way of eating. It's not just weight loss. 0:23:50.600 --> 0:23:55.560 That's why it's called weight loss and nutrition. I think 0:23:55.600 --> 0:23:59.160 you should schedule a one on one consult see if 0:23:59.160 --> 0:24:03.600 it's right for you. Go to myphdweightloss dot com or 0:24:03.720 --> 0:24:09.159 call eight six four six four four nineteen hundred myphdweight 0:24:09.280 --> 0:24:17.120 loss dot com. Male female hour. Interesting question about the 0:24:17.280 --> 0:24:20.480 comment that you often hear, oh, marriage is work or 0:24:20.560 --> 0:24:26.400 marriage takes work. So young people who hear this are 0:24:26.440 --> 0:24:31.960 scared off. Whereas when you tell them, well, every job 0:24:32.080 --> 0:24:37.439 takes work, well, a fair number don't want to do 0:24:37.600 --> 0:24:47.360 that either, But everything worthwhile takes work. However, I have 0:24:47.440 --> 0:24:51.159 some sympathy for those who think maybe it should be 0:24:51.200 --> 0:24:54.840 easier than work. I do have some sympathy for that. 0:24:54.840 --> 0:24:59.360 That is the that is an ideal, but you still 0:24:59.400 --> 0:25:02.240 let you have to work at it. But that's true 0:25:03.080 --> 0:25:04.920 in the sense. You have to work at your health, 0:25:04.960 --> 0:25:07.040 you have to you work at your happiness, you have 0:25:07.080 --> 0:25:11.440 to work at your religion. I mean, what good thing 0:25:11.840 --> 0:25:16.360 do you not have to work at? Right? Life, liberty, 0:25:16.400 --> 0:25:21.280 and the pursuit of happiness. Pursuing happiness takes work. So 0:25:21.400 --> 0:25:31.040 I have a happiness hour. Okay, let's see here. Very interesting, 0:25:31.240 --> 0:25:37.800 So Steve, Bob j Doug Thomas, and Mary. So it's 0:25:38.119 --> 0:25:44.920 five men and two women. Not uncommon ratio. You wouldn't 0:25:44.920 --> 0:25:51.480 expect that on the male female hour. Okay, let's see, 0:25:52.400 --> 0:25:55.600 Well here's a contrary if you Mary in Sarasota, Florida. 0:25:55.640 --> 0:26:00.240 Hello, doctor Craiger. So good to speak with you for 0:26:00.280 --> 0:26:01.280 the first time ever. 0:26:01.760 --> 0:26:02.320 Thank you. 0:26:05.040 --> 0:26:05.159 So. 0:26:07.720 --> 0:26:15.440 My deal is that having had a good marital partnership 0:26:15.520 --> 0:26:22.359 for nineteen great years. The relationship was not difficult, but 0:26:22.480 --> 0:26:27.320 we worked hard. I supported my husband in a way 0:26:27.359 --> 0:26:32.400 that he was able to start his own business, and 0:26:32.480 --> 0:26:37.200 we didn't have children terribly early on, and we enjoyed 0:26:38.119 --> 0:26:41.840 time together and there was an ease. I liked your 0:26:41.880 --> 0:26:46.320 word easy. Things were easy. You know. I'm a lover, 0:26:46.480 --> 0:26:50.160 not a fighter. I don't understand these people that think 0:26:50.200 --> 0:26:52.520 they have to have a good study every once in 0:26:52.560 --> 0:26:56.879 a while, just you know, to keep things alive. I'm sorry, 0:26:56.920 --> 0:27:02.640 I don't get that anyway. Long story short is round 0:27:02.720 --> 0:27:06.600 about the twentieth year, because we had such an adyllic life, 0:27:07.119 --> 0:27:11.880 seemingly a friend of the family decided that she wanted 0:27:12.000 --> 0:27:20.000 what I had, and my dear husband disrespected and betrayed 0:27:20.400 --> 0:27:24.880 all the trust that I ever extended to him. So, 0:27:25.800 --> 0:27:30.919 while I had two terminally ill parents, one with Alzheimer's, 0:27:31.080 --> 0:27:36.120 one with cancer, he picked a fine time to decide 0:27:36.200 --> 0:27:39.280 to have a bad case of the middle aged crazies. 0:27:39.320 --> 0:27:44.000 And I said, I don't have enough energy to do 0:27:44.080 --> 0:27:48.119 the work that it would take, particularly when he said 0:27:48.320 --> 0:27:54.840 I don't need any of that psychology shig okay. So 0:27:54.920 --> 0:27:58.080 that was that, and I'm way down the road from 0:27:58.080 --> 0:28:02.520 that and happy, happy, happy, And the best thing that 0:28:02.600 --> 0:28:06.280 I could ever have done was to encourage the children 0:28:07.200 --> 0:28:12.040 to have a good relationship with the parent, their parent, 0:28:12.320 --> 0:28:13.119 their father. 0:28:13.960 --> 0:28:17.440 Well, I shall loute you for that. That speaks volumes 0:28:17.480 --> 0:28:22.080 about your character because a lot of women alienate their 0:28:22.160 --> 0:28:23.880 children from the ex husband. 0:28:25.280 --> 0:28:29.280 Thank you, doctor Prager, your wisdom and your sage advice 0:28:30.080 --> 0:28:32.800 that I have been listening to for months and months 0:28:32.800 --> 0:28:35.880 and years. Finally today I'll let you know how much 0:28:35.920 --> 0:28:36.840 I appreciate you. 0:28:36.920 --> 0:28:39.640 Well, that's very kind. Really, it touches me. Thank you. 0:28:41.080 --> 0:28:43.200 By the way, for the record, I'm not a doctor. 0:28:44.280 --> 0:28:48.920 Just for the record, it reminds me of a story 0:28:48.960 --> 0:28:52.480 in my from my twenties. I was giving a lecture 0:28:52.480 --> 0:28:57.360 of a synagogue and I was in my twenties. As 0:28:57.400 --> 0:28:59.880 I said, it was an older Jew kept calling me 0:29:00.200 --> 0:29:06.320 Duc del Praguel. He had a Yiddish accent. Finally I 0:29:06.400 --> 0:29:10.600 realized it's gonna I knew why he was calling me 0:29:10.680 --> 0:29:14.480 doctor Prager, because it was hard for him to believe 0:29:14.560 --> 0:29:17.720 that I was that young and he could learn from me, 0:29:17.880 --> 0:29:23.240 and I didn't have a PhD. So finally I said 0:29:23.240 --> 0:29:27.840 to him, sir, right, I know this, this may and 0:29:28.160 --> 0:29:31.360 your particular desire to hear me, but I'm not a doctor. 0:29:32.760 --> 0:29:35.920 And he thought for a moment, and he said, by me, 0:29:36.680 --> 0:29:40.080 you have a ductail his truth. 0:29:41.840 --> 0:29:45.200 This episode of Timeless Wisdom will continue right after this. 0:29:50.720 --> 0:29:54.360 Now back to more of Dennis Prager's Timeless. 0:29:53.880 --> 0:30:01.160 Wisdom Male Female Hour, and it is the an analysis 0:30:01.240 --> 0:30:07.000 of the widespread sentiment marriage is work or marriage takes 0:30:07.040 --> 0:30:14.600 work and your take on it and my take on it. Okay, 0:30:14.720 --> 0:30:21.400 let's see here. Nikki in Auburn, California. 0:30:21.440 --> 0:30:27.000 Hello, Hey, Dana's great topic. By the way, good, yes, 0:30:27.120 --> 0:30:27.479 thank you. 0:30:27.640 --> 0:30:27.880 Hey. 0:30:29.920 --> 0:30:32.880 My original thought was, and I still think this is 0:30:33.000 --> 0:30:35.800 very true. When women began to be in the workplace, 0:30:37.120 --> 0:30:40.880 I think marriage became a lot harder because the roles 0:30:40.880 --> 0:30:44.800 were now not as distinctive, and I know with my 0:30:44.880 --> 0:30:47.760 own self. My own case is my husband were both 0:30:47.800 --> 0:30:51.720 newly retired early sixties, and you know, when the kids 0:30:51.720 --> 0:30:54.440 were home and we were both working full time, it 0:30:54.560 --> 0:30:57.440 was hard. Who's going to make dinner? Oh well I 0:30:57.720 --> 0:31:00.720 did it yesterday, It's your turn to night. We were both 0:31:00.760 --> 0:31:02.920 coaching our kids in sports. I mean, it was a 0:31:02.960 --> 0:31:08.360 super busy life and it was it was hard. We 0:31:08.400 --> 0:31:11.400 got through it beautifully, and I love what an earlier 0:31:11.480 --> 0:31:14.840 collar talked about, you know, having a servant's heart. But 0:31:15.120 --> 0:31:18.240 really had to grow on me. And I grew up 0:31:18.280 --> 0:31:21.240 not being a marriage. I was raised by a single 0:31:21.320 --> 0:31:26.400 parent and never saw, you know, really a good marriage 0:31:26.440 --> 0:31:30.000 at work. And so when I got married at twenty six, 0:31:30.440 --> 0:31:33.120 I really had no clue what I was getting into. 0:31:33.880 --> 0:31:37.240 And I'll never forget the night before the wedding, my 0:31:37.960 --> 0:31:39.960 maid of honor told my husband Eve better watch it 0:31:40.000 --> 0:31:43.600 out for her. She's a pistol. And I was. I had, 0:31:43.640 --> 0:31:48.240 I was. I was full of pride and that's something 0:31:48.280 --> 0:31:51.800 I had to work on my husband. And I was liberal. 0:31:51.880 --> 0:31:54.239 My husband was conservative. We had to work a lot 0:31:54.320 --> 0:31:58.239 of things out. Fortunately I came to his side and 0:31:58.280 --> 0:32:03.600 we both became people faith, and that helped tremendously. But 0:32:03.680 --> 0:32:05.719 now that we're you know, retired, the kids have been 0:32:05.720 --> 0:32:10.400