WEBVTT - 483 Self-Fulfilling Prophecies 0:00:02.680 --> 0:00:08.400 Life Audio. Welcome to the Praying Christian Women Podcast. I 0:00:08.440 --> 0:00:11.959 am Milana here with Jamie. How are you? I'm doing great? 0:00:12.240 --> 0:00:12.760 How about you? 0:00:13.480 --> 0:00:16.040 I'm okay. We were just talking off there how we 0:00:16.120 --> 0:00:19.840 both are feeling tired and rusty. So I was going 0:00:19.880 --> 0:00:22.120 to play a really mean joke on when me and 0:00:22.200 --> 0:00:25.360 our listeners to give them an example of our topic 0:00:25.400 --> 0:00:28.720 today and tell them we are both so tired and 0:00:28.840 --> 0:00:32.080 Jamie's got a headache and I've been in bed for 0:00:32.120 --> 0:00:34.960 fifteen hours straight. But we're going to pull through this. 0:00:35.040 --> 0:00:37.000 But guys, just bear with us. And I was going 0:00:37.040 --> 0:00:39.400 to use that as an example of if we start 0:00:39.440 --> 0:00:43.159 an episode like that, that is the perfect epitome of 0:00:43.159 --> 0:00:46.279 what we're talking about today. So can you introduce us 0:00:46.320 --> 0:00:48.360 to our topic of the day. Someone knows what we're 0:00:48.400 --> 0:00:48.920 talking about. 0:00:49.280 --> 0:00:52.800 Yes, our topic of the day is self fulfilling prophecies. 0:00:53.240 --> 0:00:55.639 And I was actually thinking, because I just said, oh, 0:00:55.720 --> 0:00:58.040 I'm doing great, even after I just told you, oh, 0:00:58.080 --> 0:00:59.040 I'm kind of dragging. 0:00:59.120 --> 0:00:59.960 I'm not doing this great. 0:01:00.160 --> 0:01:02.520 My self fulfilling prophecy will be if I say it, 0:01:02.520 --> 0:01:04.400 it will be. So, so I'm going to say I'm 0:01:04.440 --> 0:01:07.319 doing awesome. This is going to be the best episode ever. 0:01:07.920 --> 0:01:08.840 It probably will be. 0:01:08.959 --> 0:01:09.760 It probably will be. 0:01:11.080 --> 0:01:15.880 Yeah, So I've been really excited to chat about this topic. 0:01:16.040 --> 0:01:18.800 I want to piggyback this onto some of what we've 0:01:18.840 --> 0:01:24.520 been talking about with Bible memorization, because I discovered that 0:01:24.600 --> 0:01:28.479 some of my Bible memorizing blocks we're turning into self 0:01:28.520 --> 0:01:31.840 fulfilling prophecies in a kind of humorous way. But before 0:01:31.840 --> 0:01:33.679 I tell you that story, can you give us just 0:01:33.760 --> 0:01:36.760 a definition so that we're all on the same page 0:01:36.760 --> 0:01:37.960 it with what we're talking about here. 0:01:38.480 --> 0:01:43.400 Yes, the Britannica definition for self fulfilling prophecy is a 0:01:43.480 --> 0:01:48.920 process through which an originally false expectation leads to its 0:01:48.960 --> 0:01:54.000 own confirmation. In a self fulfilling prophecy, an individual's expectations 0:01:54.040 --> 0:01:57.760 about another person or entity eventually result in the other 0:01:57.840 --> 0:02:02.520 person or entity acting in ways that can firm the expectations. 0:02:03.080 --> 0:02:08.400 So kind of in Layman's terms, it's like you believe 0:02:08.520 --> 0:02:14.240 something and it comes true because you believe it, right. 0:02:14.639 --> 0:02:18.760 And I think that if we take the term like 0:02:18.840 --> 0:02:21.840 prophecy with the big P like the Old Testament prophets 0:02:21.919 --> 0:02:25.399 or Biblical prophecy out of it, and if we want 0:02:25.440 --> 0:02:27.720 to think about it just in terms of common sense. 0:02:28.520 --> 0:02:32.480 To me, this makes logical sense in the same way 0:02:32.480 --> 0:02:35.960 that something like the placebo effect makes logical sense. It's 0:02:36.000 --> 0:02:38.760 not going to happen every single time. It's not more 0:02:38.840 --> 0:02:42.480 powerful than God. But it makes sense that if you 0:02:42.639 --> 0:02:45.480 go to school every day and tell yourself that you're 0:02:45.600 --> 0:02:48.240 terrible at math, that you are not going to get 0:02:48.400 --> 0:02:51.560 as good of test scores in math. And so you 0:02:51.639 --> 0:02:55.800 have basically taken this prophecy with a little p that 0:02:55.840 --> 0:02:59.960 you're bad at math, and you have made it come true. 0:03:00.720 --> 0:03:03.760 And sometimes the self fulfilling prophecies are things that we 0:03:03.840 --> 0:03:07.200 say to ourselves. Sometimes they're negative, sometimes they're positive. Another 0:03:07.320 --> 0:03:10.520 self fulfilling prophecy is when Jamie says I'm having I 0:03:10.600 --> 0:03:12.640 feel great and we're going to have a great episode, 0:03:13.160 --> 0:03:17.720 and that lifts up our energy. And let's say she 0:03:17.800 --> 0:03:20.480 and I hadn't had this back and forth before we 0:03:20.520 --> 0:03:23.640 got on the air, and I showed up sluggish, and 0:03:23.800 --> 0:03:25.800 I'm thinking to myself, Oh, this is going to be 0:03:25.919 --> 0:03:28.760 so hard to get through. And Jamie shows up and says, 0:03:28.760 --> 0:03:30.600 this is gonna be a great episode. I'm so excited 0:03:30.639 --> 0:03:33.840 to be doing this. That can become a self fulfilling prophecy, 0:03:33.960 --> 0:03:38.880 because then I read into her excitement and buy into 0:03:39.040 --> 0:03:41.960 her excitement, and so then I tell myself, even if 0:03:41.960 --> 0:03:45.120 it's all on a subconscious level, oh, I better rise 0:03:45.240 --> 0:03:47.680 up and match her positive energy. I don't want to 0:03:47.680 --> 0:03:50.840 be the one to bring her down. Whereas if we 0:03:50.880 --> 0:03:54.080 started the show off kind of like a jokingly, guys, 0:03:54.200 --> 0:03:58.080 we are so exhausted. If we sound terrible, bear with us. 0:03:58.520 --> 0:04:01.600 There's a lot of podcasts I listen to where they'll 0:04:01.600 --> 0:04:03.720 start by saying, like, we're recording in a new spot, 0:04:03.760 --> 0:04:05.480 the acoustics are going to be strange. You and I 0:04:05.520 --> 0:04:07.760 have done it before when one of us has had 0:04:07.800 --> 0:04:10.560 to record on the phone as a listener. I never 0:04:10.720 --> 0:04:14.880 noticed until they bring it up. But yeah, if you 0:04:14.960 --> 0:04:18.400 start by saying, you know, sorry, listeners, today's episode is 0:04:18.440 --> 0:04:21.200 going to be really terrible. We're going to stumble over 0:04:21.279 --> 0:04:24.839 our words all the time. Not only is it more 0:04:24.920 --> 0:04:26.920 likely that you and I are going to stumble over 0:04:27.000 --> 0:04:30.800 our words more than we otherwise might. Even if we 0:04:30.880 --> 0:04:34.440 stumbled over our words the exact same number of times 0:04:34.480 --> 0:04:37.760 that we do in a typical episode, listeners would be 0:04:37.800 --> 0:04:41.760 more likely to recognize it, right because like, oh, they 0:04:41.800 --> 0:04:44.400 warned us, Oh, Yep, there she goes again, you know, 0:04:44.839 --> 0:04:47.240 forgetting the word that she was trying to think up. 0:04:47.320 --> 0:04:50.600 And so my story of why I've been so excited, 0:04:50.640 --> 0:04:53.719 I think I've kind of turned into a nag to you, 0:04:54.279 --> 0:04:57.360 so I might need to offer you an apology. Let's 0:04:57.440 --> 0:04:59.760 do self fulfilling prophecies, and then like two days later, 0:05:00.000 --> 0:05:01.719 I can't wait, We're gonna do selff. Can we do 0:05:01.760 --> 0:05:04.039 self fulfilling prophecy soon? I'd really like to do self 0:05:04.080 --> 0:05:05.240 a feling prophecies. 0:05:05.360 --> 0:05:07.840 No, it's perfect because my mind is like a sieve 0:05:08.240 --> 0:05:10.960 and I don't think so every time you said I 0:05:11.040 --> 0:05:13.800 was like, Wow, what a great idea. This is all 0:05:13.880 --> 0:05:17.159 of it a great concept, even after. 0:05:17.000 --> 0:05:21.880 I excited five times. So you and I were talking 0:05:21.920 --> 0:05:25.760 about Bible memorization, and I loved that little mini series 0:05:25.880 --> 0:05:28.800 that we did. By mini series, I mean two part episode. 0:05:29.160 --> 0:05:31.839 But I got me thinking about some of my blocks, 0:05:32.000 --> 0:05:37.520 and I share that historically I had noticed a correlation 0:05:37.720 --> 0:05:42.599 between going into deep Bible memory work and going into 0:05:42.680 --> 0:05:47.680 a pretty depressive funk, like as I was starting, and 0:05:48.440 --> 0:05:51.000 for a long time I just told myself that that 0:05:51.200 --> 0:05:56.119 was the activation energy required, and then it was like, okay, 0:05:56.160 --> 0:05:58.960 this always happens when I start memorizing a big passage 0:05:59.440 --> 0:06:01.039 and then it's going to get better, kind of like 0:06:01.120 --> 0:06:05.839 I tell myself, the middle of a novel manuscript for me, 0:06:05.880 --> 0:06:09.239 always feels kind of sluggish, and so I tell myself 0:06:09.279 --> 0:06:11.760 it's like, Alana, you've been here before. You know it's 0:06:11.800 --> 0:06:14.080 going to pick up again. It's gonna be fine, So 0:06:14.240 --> 0:06:16.640 just get through this part that doesn't feel as good. 0:06:17.279 --> 0:06:22.040 And so I started memorizing some from Romans eight the 0:06:22.200 --> 0:06:25.960 very next day after, like I think you and I 0:06:26.000 --> 0:06:28.160 both memoriz like a verse or two. Because we were 0:06:28.200 --> 0:06:30.360 recording on short notice, it didn't have a ton of 0:06:30.400 --> 0:06:33.159 time to work on a full passage. But like the 0:06:33.240 --> 0:06:38.320 day after I started like a whole paragraph. I was 0:06:38.400 --> 0:06:41.479 like in bed for a day and I'm like, okay, 0:06:41.640 --> 0:06:44.120 here we go again. It was sort of like yep, 0:06:44.240 --> 0:06:46.960 I called it. And so I did that thing I 0:06:47.000 --> 0:06:50.760 do where I told myself, Okay, you know sometimes this happens. 0:06:50.800 --> 0:06:52.440 It's going to be worth it. It's gonna be two 0:06:52.520 --> 0:06:55.880 or three kind of mentally sluggish days, but want it 0:06:55.920 --> 0:06:58.760 be nice to be back into regular Bible memory work again. 0:06:58.920 --> 0:07:01.680 And I was even gonna text you and be like 0:07:01.760 --> 0:07:03.800 it happened again. But of course when you're in that 0:07:03.880 --> 0:07:06.039 kind of funk, you don't text anybody and tell them, 0:07:06.320 --> 0:07:09.160 then you're in that kind of a funk. Okay, So 0:07:09.640 --> 0:07:12.360 here's where self fulfilling prophecy comes in. And I am 0:07:12.400 --> 0:07:16.240 like laughing hysterically on the inside, because this is not 0:07:16.520 --> 0:07:20.840 a story of poor Alana who gets depressed but then 0:07:20.960 --> 0:07:24.040 musters through it so she can memorize the Bible. By 0:07:24.160 --> 0:07:27.240 day three, like everybody was noticing, I was going to 0:07:27.240 --> 0:07:31.200 bed at like five or six at night. Finally Scott's like, 0:07:31.280 --> 0:07:33.560 what's up. I'm like, I don't know. I didn't want 0:07:33.600 --> 0:07:35.760 to bring up the Bible memory thing to him because 0:07:36.160 --> 0:07:40.040 it just sounded silly. And then I went to the 0:07:40.080 --> 0:07:43.119 fridge where I keep a little I think it's a pint. 0:07:43.200 --> 0:07:47.720 I had a pint of dairy free sorbet, and that's 0:07:47.760 --> 0:07:51.760 my treats to myself. I get it on the grocery orders. 0:07:51.800 --> 0:07:53.680 When Scott goes into town, he brings me back like 0:07:53.720 --> 0:07:57.920 a pint of dairy free ice cream. So I went, 0:07:58.120 --> 0:08:01.360 I'm like, probably the sugar's not gonna help, but oh well, 0:08:01.600 --> 0:08:05.240 I go to unscrew the lid. I realize this pint 0:08:05.280 --> 0:08:07.440 of ice cream that i'd been just kind of, you know, 0:08:08.040 --> 0:08:11.880 eating through for the last week. They hadn't given me 0:08:11.960 --> 0:08:16.280 the dairy free version, and so like I've known for 0:08:16.400 --> 0:08:20.000 over a year that dairy really messes up my brain 0:08:20.040 --> 0:08:24.240 and my inflammation and my joints and my mood. And 0:08:25.440 --> 0:08:28.480 so I just had to laugh, like I've been I 0:08:28.760 --> 0:08:31.840 the moment I noticed that, Like, I didn't run up 0:08:31.880 --> 0:08:35.320 the stairs because my joints were not at the ability 0:08:35.360 --> 0:08:37.640 to run, but I had a lot more energy going 0:08:37.760 --> 0:08:40.240 up the stairs than I had in days. To tell Scout, 0:08:40.320 --> 0:08:44.120 like I figured it out, I'm not broken, I'm not dying. 0:08:44.480 --> 0:08:49.000 I'm not being punished for memorizing the Bible. I ate, 0:08:49.120 --> 0:08:52.760 I've been eating this dairy for like a week. And 0:08:52.880 --> 0:08:58.199 so but here's the thing. If I hadn't a learned 0:08:58.200 --> 0:09:01.839 how to muster through that of Okay, it's going to 0:09:01.880 --> 0:09:03.400 be hard and then I'm going to get through it, 0:09:04.000 --> 0:09:07.080 I would have just quit. I would have said, Yep, 0:09:07.200 --> 0:09:10.240 Bible memory leads to depression. Depression is not worth it. 0:09:10.840 --> 0:09:15.040 And if I had not been open to you know what, 0:09:15.640 --> 0:09:21.640 because picture me at my pridefulest worst, could you picture 0:09:21.679 --> 0:09:24.280 this tiny bit of like I'm so special that the 0:09:24.320 --> 0:09:26.760 devil has to punish me when I try to memorize 0:09:26.760 --> 0:09:28.520 the Bible, do you know what I mean? 0:09:28.559 --> 0:09:31.080 Like, oh, definitely, because there's I mean, there's just like 0:09:31.120 --> 0:09:34.560 a whole theology, kind of sub theology I think in 0:09:34.679 --> 0:09:38.840 Christian culture about well, if the devil's not persecuting you, 0:09:38.920 --> 0:09:41.800 you're not doing it right, and exactly kind of a 0:09:41.840 --> 0:09:45.480 pride in Oh, yeah, I'm suffering these attacks because I'm 0:09:45.480 --> 0:09:49.319 doing this thing. And not to say that that doesn't 0:09:49.360 --> 0:09:53.200 sometimes happen because it doesn't have to, but it doesn't have. 0:09:53.160 --> 0:10:06.840 To, right, Yeah. 0:10:06.920 --> 0:10:09.520 So I think this was a perfect example of a 0:10:09.559 --> 0:10:12.439 self fulfilling prophecy that in my brain I was like, well, 0:10:12.480 --> 0:10:15.800 obviously this has to be because I started memorizing the 0:10:15.800 --> 0:10:17.440 Bible again, But it had nothing to do with that. 0:10:17.520 --> 0:10:19.200 I had to deal with the fact that I was 0:10:19.800 --> 0:10:25.040 eating like spoonfuls of dairied ice cream all week long. 0:10:26.480 --> 0:10:30.199 And I think one of the most common self fulfilling 0:10:30.200 --> 0:10:32.880 prophecies that Christians can fall into is this idea that 0:10:32.920 --> 0:10:36.440 you just talked about. Before I do something big for God, 0:10:37.000 --> 0:10:41.320 the Devil's gonna come after me. And yes, we should 0:10:41.360 --> 0:10:45.720 always be aware that certain things will open us up 0:10:45.760 --> 0:10:51.080 to spiritual attack. But there's a huge difference between that 0:10:51.840 --> 0:10:57.320 and I think about Gideon. So here's the enemy army, 0:10:57.360 --> 0:11:01.840 here's the Midianites. And they hear one of their men 0:11:01.960 --> 0:11:05.360 talking about the stream he had where Gideon attacked and 0:11:06.640 --> 0:11:10.280 destroyed all of them, and so they tell themselves, Oh, 0:11:10.400 --> 0:11:12.640 this must mean that Gideon is going to attack and 0:11:12.679 --> 0:11:18.000 destroy us all. So they're already getting into a superstitious funk. 0:11:18.720 --> 0:11:21.720 And then they hear these trumpets that Gideon is blowing. 0:11:21.720 --> 0:11:26.400 Gideon and his three hundred men, who without any type 0:11:26.440 --> 0:11:32.000 of divine intervention and without this superstitious belief that the 0:11:32.040 --> 0:11:36.080 midia Knites have bought into, have no means of defeating them, 0:11:36.640 --> 0:11:42.240 but they're already primed to be prepared to be defeated 0:11:42.320 --> 0:11:45.040 by Gideon. Did they kind of go crazy and turn 0:11:45.120 --> 0:11:49.240 on themselves. I don't want that to detract from the 0:11:49.280 --> 0:11:52.800 miraculous deliverance God view of the Israelites that day, But 0:11:52.920 --> 0:11:57.560 I think that even somebody who didn't believe in God 0:11:57.640 --> 0:12:00.800 but still believed in the historical events it's written in 0:12:00.920 --> 0:12:03.880 judges could look at that and say that that was 0:12:03.920 --> 0:12:07.800 a self fulfilling prophecy that the fact that the Midianites 0:12:07.920 --> 0:12:11.240 were so terrified that they were going to be defeated 0:12:11.760 --> 0:12:15.680 is what ultimately led to them being defeated. And I 0:12:15.679 --> 0:12:18.240 think as Christians we do that to ourselves. And I 0:12:18.240 --> 0:12:21.679 think it's also important to remember self fulfilling prophecies can 0:12:21.760 --> 0:12:23.840 be for positive or negative things. 0:12:24.280 --> 0:12:27.760 I think, yeah, this is self fulfilling prophecy. So our 0:12:27.800 --> 0:12:30.480 son was out shooting pucks and stop me if I've 0:12:30.480 --> 0:12:33.439 shared this before, like recently, I feel like maybe I did. 0:12:33.520 --> 0:12:34.199 Have I shared it. 0:12:34.480 --> 0:12:36.000 I think you did, but I think it was on 0:12:36.120 --> 0:12:40.439 True Crime Junkies because we recently talked about an episode 0:12:40.440 --> 0:12:43.160 about like the power of positive. 0:12:42.679 --> 0:12:46.880 Indem Okay, yes, yes, So that's a different podcast, same story, 0:12:47.000 --> 0:12:48.920 So go for it. If you're not a Christian True 0:12:48.920 --> 0:12:52.520 Crime Junkies listener, this will be new. If you are, 0:12:52.679 --> 0:12:55.040 then it won't. But that's okay. So he went out, 0:12:55.080 --> 0:12:57.960 he was shooting pucks and at the net we have 0:12:58.000 --> 0:13:01.640 in our backyard, and he has this little radar gun 0:13:01.760 --> 0:13:04.840 that sort of like gauges the speed of the bucks. 0:13:05.360 --> 0:13:08.240 So he was trying to make it over seventy miles 0:13:08.280 --> 0:13:11.280 an hour, and he was getting. 0:13:10.960 --> 0:13:12.720 Like sixty eight sixty eight. 0:13:12.800 --> 0:13:16.960 Sixty eight was like the top, and he said, as 0:13:16.960 --> 0:13:20.280 soon as I get to seventy, I'll be able to 0:13:20.360 --> 0:13:23.640 do it a bunch, like because he knows, you know, 0:13:23.679 --> 0:13:25.600 he kind of knows like once I because I'll know 0:13:25.640 --> 0:13:30.000 it's possible. And so it's that's sort of a similar thing. 0:13:30.080 --> 0:13:33.839 Like basically, so he finally he inched up sixty nine 0:13:33.920 --> 0:13:36.040 and then seventy and then like he was able to 0:13:36.120 --> 0:13:40.199 shoot a few more at seventy miles an hour because 0:13:40.320 --> 0:13:43.000 he knew that was possible. And so I don't know, 0:13:43.040 --> 0:13:47.440 that's kind of a self fulfilling prophecy might be having 0:13:47.520 --> 0:13:50.800 the mindset there's no way I can get over seventy 0:13:50.840 --> 0:13:53.800 sixty eight is kind of the max. 0:13:54.440 --> 0:13:57.520 Right, Okay, wait a minute. I am shocked right now 0:13:57.720 --> 0:14:00.560 because you told this story. And I was like, okay, 0:14:00.640 --> 0:14:03.520 that's a great example. And then I started to think, 0:14:03.600 --> 0:14:07.240 seventy miles an hour, that's actually pretty fast, and then 0:14:07.280 --> 0:14:10.400 I realized this is not on ice that we're talking about. 0:14:10.600 --> 0:14:11.600 It's on fake ice. 0:14:12.120 --> 0:14:17.000 So we have little you know, like the preschool like 0:14:17.160 --> 0:14:20.960 square mats that interlock with the little fingers that interlock together. 0:14:21.360 --> 0:14:25.120 We have that, only it's fake ice. It's not Okay, 0:14:25.200 --> 0:14:27.160 you can't skate on it. There's some that they make 0:14:27.200 --> 0:14:29.480 you can, but this you can't skate on. But it's 0:14:29.520 --> 0:14:32.280 just basically like a certain kind of plastic that mimics 0:14:32.680 --> 0:14:36.000 the ice. So we have a big pad of that, 0:14:36.200 --> 0:14:39.320 and so they'll stand there on the pad with the 0:14:39.320 --> 0:14:42.120 pucks and shoot it and then it goes you know, 0:14:42.480 --> 0:14:46.200 five feet, and then they lift the puck anyway, so 0:14:47.360 --> 0:14:49.560 you know, it goes a little bit and then lifts 0:14:50.200 --> 0:14:52.920 and so yeah, that's how he can get it going 0:14:53.000 --> 0:14:55.880 faster because there's way less friction than like the concrete. 0:14:56.000 --> 0:14:59.320 Yeah, right, No, that's really cool. I mean even on 0:14:59.480 --> 0:15:02.520 ice and ice equivalent seventy miles an hour. That is 0:15:02.840 --> 0:15:03.680 really fast. 0:15:04.000 --> 0:15:06.520 He's got a pretty strong shot. That's cool. 0:15:07.000 --> 0:15:10.680 That is very cool. So yeah, when we talk about 0:15:10.680 --> 0:15:15.240 self fulfilling prophecies, have you, like, I know, Christians don't 0:15:15.440 --> 0:15:17.880 love the word jinx, and I don't either, because it 0:15:17.920 --> 0:15:21.960 does bring superstition. But I think that sometimes the idea 0:15:22.840 --> 0:15:26.680 maybe comes from the same root. It's this idea of okay, 0:15:26.720 --> 0:15:29.960 if you believe something like That's why I'm not the 0:15:30.040 --> 0:15:33.320 kind of person who believes in jinx. Is like there 0:15:33.320 --> 0:15:37.120 are times where even with Christians, all say something like 0:15:37.560 --> 0:15:40.720 it has been a great week, we haven't had any 0:15:41.520 --> 0:15:46.080 days under thirty below, and they'll be like, don't say that, 0:15:46.120 --> 0:15:48.160 don't talk like that, because that's gonna make it happen. 0:15:48.720 --> 0:15:53.720 And I've I've just decided to adopt the mindset of 0:15:54.280 --> 0:15:58.360 the more I call out wonderful things that happen in 0:15:58.400 --> 0:16:01.600 my life, the more grateful I am. And that I mean, 0:16:01.640 --> 0:16:03.640 that could be a period that could be enough right there, 0:16:03.960 --> 0:16:06.760 But why in the world would that make God less 0:16:06.880 --> 0:16:11.080 likely to want to keep on blessing me? Right? So, 0:16:12.520 --> 0:16:15.320 can you think of any times in your life where 0:16:15.320 --> 0:16:18.560 you've kind of fallen into traps like this, either with 0:16:18.720 --> 0:16:22.800 like self fulfilling prophecies of your own or anything along 0:16:22.800 --> 0:16:23.960 the lines of what we're talking about. 0:16:24.480 --> 0:16:29.640 Yes, One really interesting thing for me is I always 0:16:29.880 --> 0:16:32.560 tell people that I'm really bad with names that I'll 0:16:32.600 --> 0:16:35.960 remember face I can't. I'm good with voices, Like I'm 0:16:36.000 --> 0:16:39.400 really good with voices, Like if I hear if I'm 0:16:39.440 --> 0:16:42.520 watching a movie and I hear someone talking and like, oh, 0:16:42.600 --> 0:16:45.360 that's so and so, but I don't remember their name, 0:16:45.400 --> 0:16:48.160 Like I'll connect the dots and like what's that actor's name, 0:16:48.160 --> 0:16:50.760 but I'll know that it's the same person. So anyway, 0:16:50.800 --> 0:16:53.200 I've gotten into this habit of, say, of just being like, 0:16:53.360 --> 0:16:57.080 I'm really bad with names. But I remember one time, 0:16:58.200 --> 0:17:00.360 and it was in high school and I was at 0:17:00.400 --> 0:17:05.400 a party and I decided, like I basically said, I'm 0:17:05.440 --> 0:17:10.320 going to be good with names, and I focused on 0:17:10.440 --> 0:17:12.520 the people and I even told it to someone. I'm like, 0:17:12.600 --> 0:17:14.800 I'm going to be I'm going to remember everyone's name 0:17:15.440 --> 0:17:16.560 like that I and. 0:17:16.800 --> 0:17:18.960 I actually was. It was weird. 0:17:19.040 --> 0:17:22.920 It was like, as soon as I like tell intention 0:17:23.720 --> 0:17:26.919 for that to be a priority, I actually And so 0:17:27.080 --> 0:17:28.719 I look back on that and I think, you know what, 0:17:29.240 --> 0:17:34.000 if I could do that on command. Maybe in general, 0:17:34.080 --> 0:17:36.760 I don't focus on names enough and I let them 0:17:36.760 --> 0:17:38.080 go in when you're and out. The other kind of 0:17:38.080 --> 0:17:40.159 like when I ask my kids what they want, you know, 0:17:40.600 --> 0:17:42.600 for a snack, and I give them three options and 0:17:42.600 --> 0:17:45.480 then I don't listen. I don't pay attention to what 0:17:45.520 --> 0:17:49.919 they say. But it's like what you focus on can 0:17:50.320 --> 0:17:53.480 particularly be done. So I've been, you know, I think 0:17:53.520 --> 0:17:57.639 I've been trying to tell myself things like, cause I 0:17:57.680 --> 0:18:02.840 tell stories about myself. My stories are I'm disorganized. It's 0:18:02.840 --> 0:18:07.440 hard for me to keep my house clean. I am 0:18:07.600 --> 0:18:10.360 never on time, you know, just name the things. And 0:18:11.200 --> 0:18:16.120 I've created these stories about myself and I live up 0:18:16.160 --> 0:18:20.800 to them unless I choose to say something different. And 0:18:21.640 --> 0:18:25.720 this whole conversation is making me thinking that I would 0:18:25.840 --> 0:18:30.000 like to not only say, oh, like this is going 0:18:30.040 --> 0:18:31.760 to be the exception to the rule. I'm going to 0:18:31.880 --> 0:18:35.760 just I'm going to overcome this one day by saying, oh, 0:18:35.800 --> 0:18:39.080 I'm going to be organized today, but you know, just 0:18:39.560 --> 0:18:43.560 create different narratives, like replace the old narratives. And I 0:18:43.600 --> 0:18:45.320 know a lot of people have said that you need 0:18:45.359 --> 0:18:47.919 to do this, but it's powerful for sure. 0:18:48.240 --> 0:19:03.919 Yeah, yeah, I know with names, because I've gotten to 0:19:04.040 --> 0:19:08.040 where I can catch myself before I say something that 0:19:08.119 --> 0:19:10.280 I think might be a self fulfilling prophecy. 0:19:11.560 --> 0:19:14.880 You're really good, by the way, at I noticed very 0:19:15.000 --> 0:19:19.560 much like you're very particular about your word selection, and 0:19:19.600 --> 0:19:22.920 I love that. And it has over the years, whether 0:19:22.960 --> 0:19:26.119 I've said it or not, I've noticed it, and it 0:19:26.200 --> 0:19:30.600 really has been a good example for me. Anything from 0:19:30.640 --> 0:19:32.960 like there are certain words that you won't say, like 0:19:33.480 --> 0:19:35.520 I'm trying to think of the ones. 0:19:35.320 --> 0:19:38.160 Like lazy, the biggest lazy procrastinate. 0:19:38.280 --> 0:19:41.520 Those are the two that I said something late about 0:19:41.600 --> 0:19:45.080 lazy and like the look on your face, I was like, 0:19:45.720 --> 0:19:48.240 I said something wrong, and that was like early on. 0:19:48.320 --> 0:19:50.399 I think it's been years, but it was early on 0:19:50.600 --> 0:19:53.760 in that hole and then you kind of explain. But anyway, 0:19:53.840 --> 0:19:56.080 I didn't mean to interrupt, but I love that. I 0:19:56.200 --> 0:19:58.360 really am the kind of person that interrupts a lot. 0:19:58.880 --> 0:20:02.560 No, you are the kind of person who has amazing 0:20:03.440 --> 0:20:06.320 ideas and can't wait to them. And to be fair, 0:20:06.560 --> 0:20:09.720 since I do a little bit more audio edits right now, 0:20:10.160 --> 0:20:15.080 like I interrupt you all the time. So but I 0:20:15.200 --> 0:20:19.840 learned about being particular with my language, especially when the 0:20:19.920 --> 0:20:22.520 kids were little. And some of it was because we 0:20:22.520 --> 0:20:26.040 were around so many medical specialists and I was every 0:20:26.080 --> 0:20:28.760 time one of them would say something like, oh, well, 0:20:28.760 --> 0:20:30.800 it doesn't matter because he's not going to ever do this, 0:20:31.080 --> 0:20:33.719 like it was. It wasn't just a cringe, it was 0:20:33.880 --> 0:20:37.120 I am going to take this curse that you are 0:20:37.160 --> 0:20:40.399 throwing at my child, and I am going to be 0:20:41.080 --> 0:20:44.800 the force field that is immediately going to surround our 0:20:44.960 --> 0:20:48.040 entire family from those words. You know what I mean? 0:20:48.520 --> 0:20:53.159 That is so good man? There was also a parenting philosophy. 0:20:54.240 --> 0:20:56.520 I'm sure you came across it too. I think it 0:20:56.560 --> 0:20:59.720 ties a tiny bit into maybe a little bit of 0:20:59.760 --> 0:21:03.639 gen parenting, which I never got like super into. But 0:21:04.040 --> 0:21:07.160 the idea is, if you're let's say you're four year 0:21:07.160 --> 0:21:10.119 old at was it Valley of the Sun or Valley 0:21:10.119 --> 0:21:13.600 of the Moon park and Anchorage val okay, and do 0:21:13.600 --> 0:21:16.879 you remember how it had that super tall tower like 0:21:16.920 --> 0:21:20.440 it looks like one hundred feet or higher and kids 0:21:20.480 --> 0:21:24.480 would love to climb up it. And I would always 0:21:24.520 --> 0:21:27.720 stop myself for our our oldest he was always our climber, 0:21:28.000 --> 0:21:33.560 just climbing everything. And what I was taught by other 0:21:33.680 --> 0:21:36.800 moms kind of by example. But I think even sometimes 0:21:36.840 --> 0:21:40.720 like deliberately not to say was don't do that because 0:21:40.760 --> 0:21:45.640 you'll fall, right, because the minute they hear in their brain, oh, 0:21:45.720 --> 0:21:48.280 mom says I'm going to fall. Mom is an authority figure. 0:21:48.680 --> 0:21:50.159 Does it mean a hundred percent of the time it 0:21:50.200 --> 0:21:52.400 will make them fall? No? Does it mean that their 0:21:52.440 --> 0:21:54.440 brains will be more likely for them to fall? I 0:21:54.480 --> 0:21:58.800 think it absolutely does, especially since as the mom of 0:21:58.840 --> 0:22:01.520 a young child, you are seeing as such an authority, 0:22:02.119 --> 0:22:06.399 and so you could say something like don't run on 0:22:06.480 --> 0:22:11.600 the ice because it's not safe. But you wouldn't under 0:22:11.640 --> 0:22:13.960 this philosophy. You wouldn't say don't run in the ice 0:22:14.040 --> 0:22:17.200 because you'll fall and break your arm. Right that is 0:22:17.600 --> 0:22:20.480 because in a way, that's like a mini curse that's 0:22:20.600 --> 0:22:24.200 telling them, if you do this thing, then you are 0:22:24.280 --> 0:22:28.359 more likely to fall and break your arm. So I 0:22:28.400 --> 0:22:31.120 definitely want to put limits around this because I think 0:22:31.119 --> 0:22:35.399 that the philosophy gets very abused, and even in Christian circles, 0:22:35.440 --> 0:22:38.720 and maybe even especially in Christian circles. I almost love 0:22:38.760 --> 0:22:43.680 to think of this philosophy as connected to the Bible, 0:22:44.320 --> 0:22:47.800 as staying hydrated for your health is connected to the Bible, 0:22:47.880 --> 0:22:50.920 like I don't see them as enmeshed, and they're also 0:22:51.000 --> 0:22:56.040 not contradictory. Where I see danger is when somebody says, oh, 0:22:56.200 --> 0:23:00.920 if you tell your child don't jump on that rock, 0:23:01.119 --> 0:23:04.119 or you'll fall and crack your head open, then God's 0:23:04.160 --> 0:23:06.080 going to hear you, and he's going to make them 0:23:06.119 --> 0:23:07.439 fall and crack their head open. 0:23:08.160 --> 0:23:11.560