1 00:00:02,720 --> 00:00:03,680 Speaker 1: Life audio. 2 00:00:04,040 --> 00:00:06,320 Speaker 2: He found me my car parked on the street with 3 00:00:06,360 --> 00:00:09,520 Speaker 2: my driver's door open, and I'm laying in between two houses, 4 00:00:10,240 --> 00:00:11,920 Speaker 2: and they thought I was dead, so they took me 5 00:00:11,960 --> 00:00:14,840 Speaker 2: to the hospital and I woke up to a sheriff 6 00:00:14,880 --> 00:00:17,919 Speaker 2: looking at me, and I immediately thought, dude, you did 7 00:00:17,960 --> 00:00:21,599 Speaker 2: something real bad here. More than a DUI here, I said, Hey, 8 00:00:21,840 --> 00:00:24,480 Speaker 2: I got to ask you, did I hurt someone or 9 00:00:24,520 --> 00:00:26,040 Speaker 2: anyone or anything? 10 00:00:40,080 --> 00:00:42,839 Speaker 1: Hello, Hello, and welcome to the Confessions of a Christian 11 00:00:42,880 --> 00:00:47,239 Speaker 1: Alcoholic podcast. I am your host, John Seidel. This is 12 00:00:47,280 --> 00:00:53,640 Speaker 1: your home for real stories, radical vulnerability, and remarkable comebacks. 13 00:00:53,680 --> 00:00:56,640 Speaker 1: In the end, this podcast is a place for the desperate, 14 00:00:57,120 --> 00:01:01,920 Speaker 1: the downtrodden, the destitute, and actually the drunk. But it's 15 00:01:01,960 --> 00:01:05,600 Speaker 1: also a place of hope and healing. I know that 16 00:01:05,760 --> 00:01:10,040 Speaker 1: firsthand because I'm the Christian who became an alcoholic, not 17 00:01:10,160 --> 00:01:14,600 Speaker 1: the other way around. Today, I've found sobriety after decades 18 00:01:14,680 --> 00:01:20,080 Speaker 1: of struggling. But more importantly than finding sobriety, I found Jesus. 19 00:01:20,400 --> 00:01:23,280 Speaker 1: My prayer is that as I interview people just like 20 00:01:23,360 --> 00:01:26,760 Speaker 1: you and just like me, along with professionals in the 21 00:01:26,760 --> 00:01:31,080 Speaker 1: fields of trauma, faith and addiction recovery, you will find 22 00:01:31,120 --> 00:01:34,440 Speaker 1: the peace that is available to you through Christ on 23 00:01:34,520 --> 00:01:38,720 Speaker 1: the other side of whatever you're going through and whatever 24 00:01:38,880 --> 00:01:43,399 Speaker 1: addiction that might be, because let's face it, we're all 25 00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:48,040 Speaker 1: addicted to something so welcome. Let's get radically vulnerable as 26 00:01:48,080 --> 00:01:50,720 Speaker 1: we explore what it looks like to be on this 27 00:01:50,840 --> 00:01:54,480 Speaker 1: journey of Messi sanctification. We'll be right back after this. 28 00:01:57,600 --> 00:02:00,520 Speaker 1: You know, there are some stories and some that we 29 00:02:00,600 --> 00:02:04,160 Speaker 1: do on this podcast that if you could sum up 30 00:02:04,240 --> 00:02:07,520 Speaker 1: in one episode, so much of the stuff we talk about, 31 00:02:07,560 --> 00:02:12,640 Speaker 1: so many of the through lines that so many of 32 00:02:12,680 --> 00:02:20,720 Speaker 1: our stories have. This episode is it everything from hitting 33 00:02:20,800 --> 00:02:23,320 Speaker 1: rock bottom but that not really being rock bottom. And 34 00:02:23,360 --> 00:02:28,200 Speaker 1: so today's guest has got not one, not two, not three, 35 00:02:28,320 --> 00:02:34,079 Speaker 1: but four. DUIs ended up in the hospital, tried treatment, 36 00:02:34,560 --> 00:02:40,480 Speaker 1: ran away from God. Said that once he found sobriety, 37 00:02:40,639 --> 00:02:44,480 Speaker 1: it was one of the loneliest parts of his life. 38 00:02:44,520 --> 00:02:49,320 Speaker 1: In fact, then realized that it couldn't just be about 39 00:02:49,680 --> 00:02:53,560 Speaker 1: sobriety and that he needed to fully surrender to God. 40 00:02:53,600 --> 00:02:59,600 Speaker 1: There's broken relationships, there's restored relationships. There's finding your identity 41 00:02:59,639 --> 00:03:04,639 Speaker 1: and value in what you do as a job and 42 00:03:04,720 --> 00:03:09,600 Speaker 1: not understanding what your true identity is in there is 43 00:03:10,280 --> 00:03:17,919 Speaker 1: redemption and a desire to just completely give yourself over 44 00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:23,440 Speaker 1: to the Lord and then find fulfillment in leading others 45 00:03:23,680 --> 00:03:30,480 Speaker 1: to him. That's a longer summary of Ian Faulkner's story. 46 00:03:30,720 --> 00:03:37,000 Speaker 1: He is a pastor now a recovery pastor in California. 47 00:03:37,080 --> 00:03:41,400 Speaker 1: He runs Restoration Recovery and I'll put the link to 48 00:03:42,360 --> 00:03:45,360 Speaker 1: his Instagram account for that organization because it's great. I 49 00:03:45,400 --> 00:03:47,600 Speaker 1: mean the stuff that he posts, the clips that he does, 50 00:03:48,200 --> 00:03:51,760 Speaker 1: and he is going to tell his story today and 51 00:03:51,920 --> 00:03:56,120 Speaker 1: it is it's gripping, it's engaging, and he's going to 52 00:03:56,240 --> 00:04:00,640 Speaker 1: ultimately talk about why he got to the point of 53 00:04:00,800 --> 00:04:05,000 Speaker 1: realizing that there had to be something more than just 54 00:04:05,720 --> 00:04:10,760 Speaker 1: not drinking. So this is an important story. It's a 55 00:04:10,800 --> 00:04:15,760 Speaker 1: story of hope. It gets dark at times, and yet 56 00:04:15,960 --> 00:04:20,000 Speaker 1: it ultimately points to the power of Jesus. Before we 57 00:04:20,040 --> 00:04:22,080 Speaker 1: get to Ian, though, just want to remind you that 58 00:04:22,160 --> 00:04:25,880 Speaker 1: you can go to Christianlcoholic dot com. From there you 59 00:04:25,960 --> 00:04:30,279 Speaker 1: can purchase my book. If you are looking for a resource, 60 00:04:30,440 --> 00:04:35,440 Speaker 1: you can also go from there get to my nonprofit 61 00:04:35,520 --> 00:04:40,240 Speaker 1: called Veritas Recovery, and there's there's Bible studies that you 62 00:04:40,279 --> 00:04:44,400 Speaker 1: can do, there's resources that you can download. I'm excited 63 00:04:44,600 --> 00:04:48,600 Speaker 1: to soon be able to point you to videos that 64 00:04:48,640 --> 00:04:53,080 Speaker 1: we are currently producing through right Now Media, and then 65 00:04:53,120 --> 00:04:56,359 Speaker 1: we will be able to put those on our own 66 00:04:56,560 --> 00:04:59,800 Speaker 1: site and platform, and so be on the lookout for that. 67 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:02,400 Speaker 1: We go to Christianlcoholic dot com. It's kind of serves 68 00:05:02,440 --> 00:05:06,520 Speaker 1: as the landing page for everything, and check it out. So, 69 00:05:06,760 --> 00:05:11,840 Speaker 1: without further ado Ian Faulkner, Ian, thank you so much 70 00:05:11,880 --> 00:05:14,200 Speaker 1: for joining the Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic podcast. I've 71 00:05:14,200 --> 00:05:16,640 Speaker 1: been looking to this one for a while. We've known 72 00:05:16,680 --> 00:05:19,279 Speaker 1: each other, and this is I think the great power 73 00:05:19,279 --> 00:05:23,680 Speaker 1: of social media nowadays, right, is that I saw you 74 00:05:23,839 --> 00:05:29,240 Speaker 1: preaching some really great sermons and spitting some truth on 75 00:05:29,320 --> 00:05:33,760 Speaker 1: Instagram and I reached out and I was like, hey, man, 76 00:05:34,320 --> 00:05:37,320 Speaker 1: I just want to get to know you, and we 77 00:05:37,360 --> 00:05:40,920 Speaker 1: started that process. We met up at a conference and 78 00:05:41,040 --> 00:05:43,160 Speaker 1: have kept in touch and so I am just I'm 79 00:05:43,200 --> 00:05:44,920 Speaker 1: so excited to have you. Thanks for being here. 80 00:05:45,240 --> 00:05:47,880 Speaker 2: I'm grateful for the opportunity. Man, It's just a blessing 81 00:05:47,920 --> 00:05:51,120 Speaker 2: how God works always behind the scenes, you know, connecting 82 00:05:51,240 --> 00:05:54,080 Speaker 2: like minded men who simply just want to help people, 83 00:05:54,120 --> 00:05:57,200 Speaker 2: and that that's rare. So I'm grateful to know you 84 00:05:57,320 --> 00:06:00,159 Speaker 2: to meet you and now to enjoy this this hare 85 00:06:00,200 --> 00:06:00,640 Speaker 2: doon with you. 86 00:06:01,480 --> 00:06:04,440 Speaker 1: And so you know, if you follow Ian on Instagram, 87 00:06:04,520 --> 00:06:08,720 Speaker 1: which you should, now go do that. Well, listen to 88 00:06:08,760 --> 00:06:12,160 Speaker 1: the episode first, then go do that and you'll see. 89 00:06:12,200 --> 00:06:15,360 Speaker 1: I mean, he's he's a pastor. Now he has a 90 00:06:16,760 --> 00:06:22,640 Speaker 1: recovery ministry at Mission Hills Church out there in Mission Viejo, California. 91 00:06:23,200 --> 00:06:25,680 Speaker 1: And you see him and you're like, hey, this guy's 92 00:06:25,920 --> 00:06:28,960 Speaker 1: got it all together right. And yet the reason that 93 00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:33,720 Speaker 1: you are qualified is because you have been into the depths. 94 00:06:34,400 --> 00:06:36,680 Speaker 1: And so I would love for you to give I 95 00:06:36,680 --> 00:06:40,120 Speaker 1: would love to give you the floor to tell people 96 00:06:40,520 --> 00:06:43,920 Speaker 1: your story because I think it's powerful and we see 97 00:06:43,920 --> 00:06:46,560 Speaker 1: ourselves in other people's stories. So I just want to 98 00:06:46,560 --> 00:06:48,279 Speaker 1: give you the floor, man, tell us your story. 99 00:06:49,040 --> 00:06:52,719 Speaker 2: Amen, thank you brother. Uh, it's it's it's a good one. 100 00:06:52,720 --> 00:06:56,920 Speaker 2: It's it. It definitely shows what God can do if 101 00:06:56,920 --> 00:07:00,479 Speaker 2: we're willing. And so I was blessed to you. Raised 102 00:07:00,480 --> 00:07:03,560 Speaker 2: in Long Beach. It's kind of a crazy story. I 103 00:07:03,560 --> 00:07:06,360 Speaker 2: won't get into the whole thing, but my mom and dad, 104 00:07:06,720 --> 00:07:10,280 Speaker 2: adoptive parents, had a miscarriage in one room and I 105 00:07:10,400 --> 00:07:13,920 Speaker 2: was being born in the next room. Over to an 106 00:07:13,960 --> 00:07:17,480 Speaker 2: eighteen year old young girl, and she realized she couldn't 107 00:07:17,480 --> 00:07:20,160 Speaker 2: take care of me, but rather than abort me, she 108 00:07:20,760 --> 00:07:23,880 Speaker 2: prayed for a Christian family. And so without all the 109 00:07:23,920 --> 00:07:27,000 Speaker 2: red tape we experienced today, that handoff happened right there. 110 00:07:27,440 --> 00:07:29,920 Speaker 2: So you have in one room, you know, still born, 111 00:07:30,280 --> 00:07:32,880 Speaker 2: two grieving parents. In the next room, somebody seeking a 112 00:07:33,040 --> 00:07:36,520 Speaker 2: christ centered family, Christian family for their child. And so 113 00:07:36,600 --> 00:07:40,120 Speaker 2: here you go. So you know, God's hands were evident 114 00:07:40,640 --> 00:07:44,400 Speaker 2: in my life from the beginning. And so I'm raised 115 00:07:44,400 --> 00:07:46,760 Speaker 2: in Long Beach, very active in church. If you could 116 00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:49,520 Speaker 2: divine me as a kid, you would define me by 117 00:07:49,920 --> 00:07:53,680 Speaker 2: church and soccer. You know, I was at church almost 118 00:07:53,680 --> 00:07:55,640 Speaker 2: every day. And when I was and I was on 119 00:07:55,680 --> 00:07:58,880 Speaker 2: a soccer field, I started playing, you know, about three 120 00:07:58,880 --> 00:08:01,000 Speaker 2: and a half years old with the five year olds. 121 00:08:01,880 --> 00:08:04,600 Speaker 2: So you know, I was a good soccer player, and 122 00:08:04,680 --> 00:08:07,080 Speaker 2: so that kind of carried me through. You go through 123 00:08:07,160 --> 00:08:09,280 Speaker 2: junior high, you get to high school. In high school, 124 00:08:09,320 --> 00:08:11,520 Speaker 2: I was one of the top rank soccer players while 125 00:08:11,640 --> 00:08:15,600 Speaker 2: going and being extremely active in my church. So my 126 00:08:15,720 --> 00:08:19,600 Speaker 2: popularity wasn't based on drinking or drugs or sex. I 127 00:08:19,640 --> 00:08:21,760 Speaker 2: was doing none of those things in high school. It 128 00:08:21,920 --> 00:08:25,880 Speaker 2: was I was so dedicated to soccer that I didn't 129 00:08:25,880 --> 00:08:27,560 Speaker 2: want to wake up with a hangover, and I didn't 130 00:08:27,600 --> 00:08:30,480 Speaker 2: want to damage any potential opportunity for me to shine 131 00:08:30,520 --> 00:08:31,400 Speaker 2: on a soccer field. 132 00:08:31,600 --> 00:08:31,800 Speaker 1: Yeah. 133 00:08:31,920 --> 00:08:34,320 Speaker 2: Well, in essence, as I look back on it, you think, oh, 134 00:08:34,360 --> 00:08:36,959 Speaker 2: that's great, man. It was kind of a false God, 135 00:08:37,160 --> 00:08:40,160 Speaker 2: to be honest, and so just to kind of walk 136 00:08:40,200 --> 00:08:43,439 Speaker 2: through these things and learn these things later is pretty powerful. 137 00:08:43,440 --> 00:08:45,320 Speaker 2: And a lot of them I reconcile on the stage 138 00:08:45,360 --> 00:08:49,160 Speaker 2: here in the ministry as I lead the recovery ministry. 139 00:08:49,400 --> 00:08:52,240 Speaker 2: And so you have that identity. And another identity was 140 00:08:52,280 --> 00:08:56,640 Speaker 2: actually church. You know, I did have a relationship with God. 141 00:08:56,679 --> 00:08:58,760 Speaker 2: I received him at five and I walked with him. 142 00:08:58,800 --> 00:09:02,360 Speaker 2: But I think the church piece too, was just another 143 00:09:02,440 --> 00:09:05,120 Speaker 2: identity in my life as I as I look back now, 144 00:09:05,440 --> 00:09:07,680 Speaker 2: and so you have these two things that probably kept 145 00:09:07,679 --> 00:09:11,120 Speaker 2: me away from the drugs and alcohol and sex for sure. Right, 146 00:09:11,160 --> 00:09:12,880 Speaker 2: if you're spending your time in church and if you're 147 00:09:12,880 --> 00:09:15,600 Speaker 2: on a soccer field, you know you're not drinking and 148 00:09:15,640 --> 00:09:17,560 Speaker 2: doing those things. So I would shap our own people, 149 00:09:17,600 --> 00:09:20,040 Speaker 2: take them to parties, my soccer buddies, and get them 150 00:09:20,040 --> 00:09:22,800 Speaker 2: home safe. And that was kind of the extent of it. 151 00:09:23,320 --> 00:09:26,400 Speaker 2: We literally played soccer for you know, six to eight 152 00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:28,200 Speaker 2: hours a day. We'd go to high school, play for 153 00:09:28,240 --> 00:09:30,800 Speaker 2: our team. After that was done, we'd need a quick 154 00:09:30,840 --> 00:09:32,520 Speaker 2: meal and then head over to cal State Law Beach 155 00:09:32,559 --> 00:09:35,440 Speaker 2: and play against the college team. And once that was done, 156 00:09:35,440 --> 00:09:37,840 Speaker 2: we'd get in the car grab maybe another bite on 157 00:09:37,840 --> 00:09:39,920 Speaker 2: the way to my church. We had a lower auditorium 158 00:09:39,920 --> 00:09:42,080 Speaker 2: that was huge and you could make it into basically 159 00:09:42,080 --> 00:09:45,199 Speaker 2: four little soccer fields, and so we'd play soccer till 160 00:09:45,280 --> 00:09:48,520 Speaker 2: one two in the morning. And that was literally me 161 00:09:48,640 --> 00:09:53,280 Speaker 2: growing up. And so after I graduated high school, I 162 00:09:53,280 --> 00:09:55,760 Speaker 2: had some choices to make. I ended up playing a 163 00:09:55,800 --> 00:09:57,920 Speaker 2: year of professional soccer straight out of high school for 164 00:09:57,960 --> 00:10:01,880 Speaker 2: the Los Angeles Lasers. With that came some eye opening 165 00:10:01,960 --> 00:10:06,320 Speaker 2: experiences of what the world had to offer. So now 166 00:10:06,400 --> 00:10:09,440 Speaker 2: being an adult and not feeling that weight of disappointment 167 00:10:09,480 --> 00:10:12,080 Speaker 2: over my parents or anything, which obviously that still continues, 168 00:10:12,120 --> 00:10:13,480 Speaker 2: I think it's just a game we play with our 169 00:10:13,480 --> 00:10:16,320 Speaker 2: own minds to say, I'm the adult. Now this falls 170 00:10:16,360 --> 00:10:19,560 Speaker 2: on me, not on them. I began to you know, 171 00:10:19,640 --> 00:10:25,199 Speaker 2: pick up alcohol and cocaine and you know, obviously get 172 00:10:25,200 --> 00:10:28,680 Speaker 2: into sexual sin as well. And so I actually prayed 173 00:10:28,679 --> 00:10:31,360 Speaker 2: a prayer to God. I knew what it meant to 174 00:10:31,360 --> 00:10:33,240 Speaker 2: be a lukewarm Christian, and he spits them out of 175 00:10:33,240 --> 00:10:34,959 Speaker 2: his mouth. And so I actually pray and say, God, 176 00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:38,120 Speaker 2: I'm going to step away from you. I'm going to 177 00:10:38,200 --> 00:10:40,040 Speaker 2: do this my way. I want to see what the 178 00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:43,840 Speaker 2: world has to offer. And I actually prayed that prayer. Wow, 179 00:10:44,040 --> 00:10:47,240 Speaker 2: and so on some level I had a very deep 180 00:10:47,320 --> 00:10:52,080 Speaker 2: respect for my faith and for God, but obviously not 181 00:10:52,120 --> 00:10:54,280 Speaker 2: deep enough if I'm willing to walk away, and so 182 00:10:54,880 --> 00:10:58,880 Speaker 2: I don't think I truly understood who he was and 183 00:10:59,120 --> 00:11:02,200 Speaker 2: who he is. And so that began the party scene 184 00:11:02,200 --> 00:11:04,840 Speaker 2: for me. And with that comes, you know, all of 185 00:11:04,880 --> 00:11:07,480 Speaker 2: those things, the crazy nights and and all of that 186 00:11:07,559 --> 00:11:10,720 Speaker 2: good stuff. I hadn't been in legal trouble at this point, 187 00:11:10,760 --> 00:11:14,520 Speaker 2: but definitely damage was coming. And so I ended up 188 00:11:15,200 --> 00:11:18,559 Speaker 2: getting married to someone that I knew through the local 189 00:11:18,679 --> 00:11:22,720 Speaker 2: high school. We'd been friends for a while, and ended 190 00:11:22,800 --> 00:11:25,200 Speaker 2: up getting married having a couple of kids, and I 191 00:11:25,320 --> 00:11:29,400 Speaker 2: realized in that marriage I just wasn't happy and I 192 00:11:29,440 --> 00:11:34,560 Speaker 2: didn't feel connected, and you know, being adopted, my kids 193 00:11:34,720 --> 00:11:37,920 Speaker 2: are my world. When I was again, here's another false 194 00:11:37,960 --> 00:11:40,000 Speaker 2: identity but they were my world. And I think they 195 00:11:40,080 --> 00:11:43,680 Speaker 2: kind of kept me on the right side of death too, 196 00:11:44,559 --> 00:11:48,280 Speaker 2: because you know, I'd only go so far. So my identity. 197 00:11:48,559 --> 00:11:50,560 Speaker 2: You have soccer, you have church, and now you have 198 00:11:50,640 --> 00:11:54,320 Speaker 2: my kids. These are all false identities. And and so 199 00:11:54,360 --> 00:11:57,800 Speaker 2: I raised them and ended up getting a divorce and 200 00:11:57,840 --> 00:12:00,560 Speaker 2: having custody of them and raising them. And you know, 201 00:12:00,640 --> 00:12:04,560 Speaker 2: that involved a cheerleading and all those fun things, right, 202 00:12:04,800 --> 00:12:07,640 Speaker 2: going on trips to Florida with the cheerleading team. But 203 00:12:07,720 --> 00:12:10,640 Speaker 2: I was really surrounded by a lot of moms, and 204 00:12:10,720 --> 00:12:14,360 Speaker 2: so I have a lot of that softness in me now, 205 00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:17,800 Speaker 2: and I think that God used that for this ministry 206 00:12:18,320 --> 00:12:21,480 Speaker 2: because I'm very warm hearted, I'm easy to cry, I'm 207 00:12:21,600 --> 00:12:25,079 Speaker 2: very sensitive, and so daughters will do that to you. 208 00:12:25,360 --> 00:12:27,560 Speaker 2: And so we'll being around a lot of women. And 209 00:12:27,640 --> 00:12:32,480 Speaker 2: so in that process of you know, getting divorced, I 210 00:12:32,600 --> 00:12:35,840 Speaker 2: met my now current wife. And all this time, I 211 00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:38,080 Speaker 2: have an advertising career. I'm working for the same company. 212 00:12:38,120 --> 00:12:40,760 Speaker 2: I had a twenty eight year advertising career, and so 213 00:12:40,800 --> 00:12:43,480 Speaker 2: I met my current wife at one of the company trips. 214 00:12:43,640 --> 00:12:45,200 Speaker 2: So we meet up kind of like you and I 215 00:12:45,240 --> 00:12:47,679 Speaker 2: met up at that conference. It's the same all of 216 00:12:47,679 --> 00:12:51,360 Speaker 2: the organizations come together. Then they called a coupon University. 217 00:12:51,360 --> 00:12:54,280 Speaker 2: It's basically a big party and then you get your 218 00:12:54,280 --> 00:12:57,280 Speaker 2: awards right for whatever you accomplished. So we had met 219 00:12:57,320 --> 00:13:00,360 Speaker 2: there and you know, I'd shared with her one night, 220 00:13:00,720 --> 00:13:03,520 Speaker 2: just the truth that I'm married, I'm still going through 221 00:13:03,520 --> 00:13:06,280 Speaker 2: a divorce, and I have two kids. And she was 222 00:13:06,320 --> 00:13:08,360 Speaker 2: ten years younger than me. So I was thirty six, 223 00:13:08,440 --> 00:13:12,040 Speaker 2: she was twenty six, and what should have made her 224 00:13:12,120 --> 00:13:16,760 Speaker 2: run for the hills, didn't. She actually found similarities. Well, 225 00:13:16,920 --> 00:13:19,800 Speaker 2: my parents went through something similar and so I was 226 00:13:19,840 --> 00:13:22,120 Speaker 2: that age, so maybe I can relate to them. And 227 00:13:22,160 --> 00:13:25,560 Speaker 2: so that began our relationship. And we've been together since, 228 00:13:25,600 --> 00:13:29,160 Speaker 2: you know, two thousand and sixsh so for twenty years. 229 00:13:30,040 --> 00:13:33,160 Speaker 2: We've been married since two thousand and nine. And so 230 00:13:33,920 --> 00:13:36,040 Speaker 2: that was kind of the next layer in my life. 231 00:13:36,160 --> 00:13:39,559 Speaker 2: I got remarried. We're raising the kids in Seal Beach, 232 00:13:40,280 --> 00:13:42,560 Speaker 2: and my daughter's mom is involved with them now, and 233 00:13:42,600 --> 00:13:45,440 Speaker 2: it's great. It was great, and so here we go 234 00:13:45,600 --> 00:13:50,000 Speaker 2: moving forward. But I call this the ten worst years 235 00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:55,360 Speaker 2: of my life. I suffered an achilles tear in my 236 00:13:55,520 --> 00:14:00,240 Speaker 2: right leg, and for the first time of my life, 237 00:14:00,280 --> 00:14:03,240 Speaker 2: I couldn't play soccer. I'd never ever suffered an injury 238 00:14:03,240 --> 00:14:05,600 Speaker 2: in all those years playing from three and a half 239 00:14:05,679 --> 00:14:08,840 Speaker 2: till forty. Wow, so I rupture my achilles and I 240 00:14:08,880 --> 00:14:12,960 Speaker 2: realized that, Okay, what am I gonna do here? 241 00:14:13,160 --> 00:14:15,720 Speaker 1: And so you're not necessarily playing professionally at this point, 242 00:14:15,760 --> 00:14:16,240 Speaker 1: you're just. 243 00:14:16,360 --> 00:14:19,480 Speaker 2: But you've done. I played one year for the La Lasers, 244 00:14:19,560 --> 00:14:22,400 Speaker 2: I play, I coach a men's team. I ran a 245 00:14:22,440 --> 00:14:25,880 Speaker 2: men's team, And of course what did that do? Every 246 00:14:25,880 --> 00:14:28,440 Speaker 2: Sunday you do that instead of go to church, and 247 00:14:28,480 --> 00:14:30,280 Speaker 2: then once that's done, you're in the bar, and once 248 00:14:30,280 --> 00:14:32,360 Speaker 2: you're done with the bar, you're at a buddy's house, 249 00:14:32,400 --> 00:14:35,680 Speaker 2: and now the cocaine's out and it's all night long, right, 250 00:14:35,760 --> 00:14:39,040 Speaker 2: And so I'm just prefacing it with it was the 251 00:14:39,080 --> 00:14:42,400 Speaker 2: achilles tear that pushed me to the darkest place I've 252 00:14:42,440 --> 00:14:45,640 Speaker 2: ever been. And it wasn't a place of wishing suicide 253 00:14:45,720 --> 00:14:48,760 Speaker 2: or death or anything like that. It was something's wrong 254 00:14:48,800 --> 00:14:51,880 Speaker 2: with me because you just took soccer away. And now 255 00:14:52,000 --> 00:14:55,480 Speaker 2: I'm literally going crazy. So I'm drinking more than I've 256 00:14:55,480 --> 00:14:59,640 Speaker 2: ever drank, going out every night, still working. I only 257 00:15:00,040 --> 00:15:02,480 Speaker 2: I only took a half a day off for that surgery, 258 00:15:02,480 --> 00:15:06,160 Speaker 2: which is insane. I'm an outside sales executive, so I 259 00:15:06,160 --> 00:15:08,200 Speaker 2: go to different businesses and I got to drive, so 260 00:15:08,360 --> 00:15:10,160 Speaker 2: I busted my right foot, so I'm using my left 261 00:15:10,160 --> 00:15:13,600 Speaker 2: foot to drive my car. You're right, and so I'm 262 00:15:13,680 --> 00:15:15,640 Speaker 2: just in this place. 263 00:15:15,320 --> 00:15:17,520 Speaker 1: Of work is another idol. 264 00:15:18,040 --> 00:15:22,600 Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm very it was I'm very unhealthy man. And 265 00:15:21,560 --> 00:15:24,880 Speaker 2: uh and so, in fact, I had a physical therapist 266 00:15:24,920 --> 00:15:27,000 Speaker 2: that put me through one session. I said, dude, that's 267 00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:28,680 Speaker 2: not good enough. The doctor told me I was gonna 268 00:15:28,680 --> 00:15:30,360 Speaker 2: be out two years and I told him, dude, I'll 269 00:15:30,360 --> 00:15:32,920 Speaker 2: be playing soccer in six months. Six months. He goes, 270 00:15:32,920 --> 00:15:34,480 Speaker 2: why do you say that. I said, well, David Beckham 271 00:15:34,520 --> 00:15:36,320 Speaker 2: tore his achilles. He came back in six months and 272 00:15:36,360 --> 00:15:37,800 Speaker 2: he looked at me and he goes, dude, you're not 273 00:15:37,920 --> 00:15:40,920 Speaker 2: David Beckham and you don't have his money. Right. Yeah, 274 00:15:41,120 --> 00:15:44,280 Speaker 2: I'm like, okay, fair enough. But I it lit a 275 00:15:44,320 --> 00:15:46,720 Speaker 2: fire under me because no one's taken it away from me. 276 00:15:46,960 --> 00:15:51,320 Speaker 2: I'm very driven and even to the unhealthiest, darkest points 277 00:15:51,360 --> 00:15:53,840 Speaker 2: of being driven. Yeah, so I did all my physical 278 00:15:53,880 --> 00:15:56,000 Speaker 2: I fired the physical therapist, did it all on my own. 279 00:15:56,040 --> 00:15:57,800 Speaker 2: We'd had a three story house, so I'd go up 280 00:15:57,800 --> 00:16:01,119 Speaker 2: and down the stairs and just work out my achilles 281 00:16:01,480 --> 00:16:04,400 Speaker 2: and I played a game or I paid eighty five 282 00:16:04,440 --> 00:16:08,480 Speaker 2: of the ninety minutes in under six months, so I 283 00:16:08,560 --> 00:16:12,480 Speaker 2: did it right. But in that process my habits got 284 00:16:12,520 --> 00:16:15,000 Speaker 2: even worse. The drinking was worth the cocaine use of sourse. 285 00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:18,320 Speaker 2: I just it was very unhealthy for me. So it 286 00:16:18,360 --> 00:16:22,320 Speaker 2: broke my heart to kind of start to feel some 287 00:16:22,480 --> 00:16:25,280 Speaker 2: of these things, the unhealthiness. And the next thing happened 288 00:16:25,440 --> 00:16:32,240 Speaker 2: was a DUI I had coming home on the day 289 00:16:32,280 --> 00:16:37,560 Speaker 2: after Labor Day. I think it was twenty twelve. I 290 00:16:37,600 --> 00:16:39,720 Speaker 2: actually didn't drink that day, but I had so much 291 00:16:39,760 --> 00:16:42,600 Speaker 2: alcohol in my system from the night before that I 292 00:16:42,680 --> 00:16:45,960 Speaker 2: barely tested over the legal It was like point eight 293 00:16:46,160 --> 00:16:49,240 Speaker 2: three or something. So they took me to the jail. 294 00:16:49,280 --> 00:16:51,320 Speaker 2: I was out in forty five minutes because the guy 295 00:16:51,520 --> 00:16:56,120 Speaker 2: was small city. And anyhow, there's no lesson learned, none 296 00:16:56,200 --> 00:16:59,000 Speaker 2: except okay, I probably should uber, and so I started 297 00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:01,160 Speaker 2: to uber everywhere if I was out drinking. I actually 298 00:17:01,160 --> 00:17:03,560 Speaker 2: did a really good job of that for about five years, 299 00:17:04,280 --> 00:17:08,000 Speaker 2: and then in twenty seventeen I got my second dui, 300 00:17:08,400 --> 00:17:11,560 Speaker 2: and that's a whole nother story. I don't want to 301 00:17:11,600 --> 00:17:13,840 Speaker 2: make excuses, because I've deserved a million of them, but 302 00:17:13,880 --> 00:17:15,679 Speaker 2: it was just it was. It was a bummer how 303 00:17:15,680 --> 00:17:18,280 Speaker 2: it all went down. So anyhow I get my second one. 304 00:17:18,320 --> 00:17:21,200 Speaker 2: I'd actually parked my car in a parking lot down 305 00:17:21,240 --> 00:17:23,960 Speaker 2: the street from my house and ubered everywhere that night 306 00:17:24,280 --> 00:17:26,600 Speaker 2: and come back to move my car from one spot 307 00:17:26,640 --> 00:17:29,240 Speaker 2: that said you can't overnight park to another spot in 308 00:17:29,320 --> 00:17:32,879 Speaker 2: the same parking lot with my Uber driver waiting, and 309 00:17:32,920 --> 00:17:36,560 Speaker 2: they gave me a dui. So that was the second one. 310 00:17:36,600 --> 00:17:39,320 Speaker 2: So now I'm angry. I'm like, this isn't fair. But 311 00:17:39,840 --> 00:17:41,639 Speaker 2: as I look back, now, you know you deserve so 312 00:17:41,720 --> 00:17:43,679 Speaker 2: many more in it, So I don't Yeah, right, how 313 00:17:44,160 --> 00:17:46,119 Speaker 2: many times did you drive drunk and then be caught? 314 00:17:46,640 --> 00:17:48,639 Speaker 2: I think now of praise God that I didn't hurt 315 00:17:48,640 --> 00:17:51,640 Speaker 2: anybody during that night, and praise God that that's all 316 00:17:51,640 --> 00:17:54,320 Speaker 2: that came of It was a dui, Right, that's it. 317 00:17:54,680 --> 00:17:56,720 Speaker 2: Praise the Lord. No one was hurt or cars wrecked 318 00:17:56,800 --> 00:17:59,960 Speaker 2: or houses or nothing. So that was the second one. 319 00:18:00,040 --> 00:18:03,040 Speaker 2: And at this point, my kids are now about to 320 00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:05,320 Speaker 2: move out of the house because one's going to college, 321 00:18:05,359 --> 00:18:07,399 Speaker 2: the next one's a senior. And then she's out. So 322 00:18:07,640 --> 00:18:10,720 Speaker 2: I've lost my soccer identity, ruptured my achilles, I've lost 323 00:18:10,800 --> 00:18:12,720 Speaker 2: my kids. They've now grown up and they're out of 324 00:18:12,760 --> 00:18:16,359 Speaker 2: the house. And now I'm left looking at it. For 325 00:18:16,400 --> 00:18:19,280 Speaker 2: the first time in my life, I had to look 326 00:18:19,320 --> 00:18:22,320 Speaker 2: in a mirror and I literally hated myself and I 327 00:18:22,359 --> 00:18:27,040 Speaker 2: didn't know why. And it was ugly. And so I 328 00:18:27,080 --> 00:18:29,920 Speaker 2: began to drink and drink more and I could somehow 329 00:18:29,920 --> 00:18:32,960 Speaker 2: I could function but with my job and be very successful, 330 00:18:33,480 --> 00:18:36,000 Speaker 2: but also party at a level that probably would have 331 00:18:36,040 --> 00:18:38,920 Speaker 2: killed most people. And it stopped being fun. It stopped 332 00:18:38,960 --> 00:18:41,600 Speaker 2: being in the bars, it stopped being out having a 333 00:18:41,600 --> 00:18:44,440 Speaker 2: good time, and it started being isolating, like getting in 334 00:18:44,480 --> 00:18:47,359 Speaker 2: a hotel room by myself, with the drugs and with 335 00:18:47,480 --> 00:18:50,720 Speaker 2: the booze and crying to God, why why am I 336 00:18:50,840 --> 00:18:54,080 Speaker 2: like this? What's wrong with me? What? I have a 337 00:18:54,200 --> 00:18:57,240 Speaker 2: nice house, have a beautiful wife, and drive a nice car. 338 00:18:57,440 --> 00:19:00,440 Speaker 2: I live in a family that loves me. Why am 339 00:19:00,480 --> 00:19:04,320 Speaker 2: I alone in a hotel room corner weeping God? Why? 340 00:19:04,680 --> 00:19:06,359 Speaker 2: And there were times that there was no drugs and 341 00:19:06,400 --> 00:19:08,480 Speaker 2: alcohol involve that was just in the hotel room, weepy 342 00:19:09,760 --> 00:19:11,160 Speaker 2: and what was your. 343 00:19:11,200 --> 00:19:14,000 Speaker 1: Was your wife noticing it at this point or what 344 00:19:14,080 --> 00:19:15,720 Speaker 1: was that? We'll be right back after. 345 00:19:15,520 --> 00:19:21,840 Speaker 2: This broken, just sad and you know, what are you 346 00:19:21,880 --> 00:19:24,560 Speaker 2: doing and confronting me? And you know, if you get 347 00:19:24,560 --> 00:19:28,160 Speaker 2: another one of these DUIs, I'm out and probably all 348 00:19:28,200 --> 00:19:31,120 Speaker 2: of the natural responses you would expect from a spouse. 349 00:19:32,240 --> 00:19:34,840 Speaker 2: But mind you, we we would go to church, but 350 00:19:34,880 --> 00:19:37,080 Speaker 2: it would be to take my daughters. Her and I 351 00:19:37,119 --> 00:19:40,439 Speaker 2: didn't have a church relationship. Her and I weren't growing 352 00:19:40,440 --> 00:19:43,119 Speaker 2: in Christ, Her and I weren't in a life group. 353 00:19:43,480 --> 00:19:45,399 Speaker 2: Her and I weren't doing any of the healthy things 354 00:19:45,400 --> 00:19:48,920 Speaker 2: that a marriage needs, and she wasn't raised in church. 355 00:19:48,960 --> 00:19:51,240 Speaker 2: So I'm the man of faith and look how I'm 356 00:19:51,320 --> 00:19:55,240 Speaker 2: leading my family right and complete chaos and brokenness and 357 00:19:55,280 --> 00:19:58,879 Speaker 2: sadness and drunkenness and and all of it. And it 358 00:19:58,960 --> 00:20:05,879 Speaker 2: was just very sad. And so fast forward to twenty nineteen, 359 00:20:05,880 --> 00:20:07,520 Speaker 2: my wife and I realized we don't need that house 360 00:20:07,560 --> 00:20:09,359 Speaker 2: in Seal Beach. You know, it was pretty big and 361 00:20:09,400 --> 00:20:11,399 Speaker 2: it's just two of us now, So we decide to 362 00:20:11,440 --> 00:20:14,440 Speaker 2: shift our focus from my kids to my parents. They 363 00:20:14,600 --> 00:20:16,560 Speaker 2: live in Orange County and Lake Forest, which is a 364 00:20:16,600 --> 00:20:19,399 Speaker 2: neighboring city to Mission Vieho and so we bought a 365 00:20:19,400 --> 00:20:24,040 Speaker 2: house in Mission Vieho, and you know, I thought, Okay, 366 00:20:24,119 --> 00:20:25,840 Speaker 2: this will be good, this will be good for me. 367 00:20:26,440 --> 00:20:28,960 Speaker 2: You know, I'll be farther away from my distractions and 368 00:20:29,000 --> 00:20:32,080 Speaker 2: all this, that and the other, and it was the opposite. 369 00:20:32,119 --> 00:20:35,639 Speaker 2: Now I'm driving forty five minutes to the soccer field, 370 00:20:35,920 --> 00:20:38,840 Speaker 2: and now I'm not coming home for one of the days. 371 00:20:39,280 --> 00:20:42,480 Speaker 2: And so that just began to elevate even more. And 372 00:20:42,560 --> 00:20:46,840 Speaker 2: as we approached twenty twenty, I finally had to make 373 00:20:46,880 --> 00:20:49,919 Speaker 2: a promise to myself that if I blacked out drinking 374 00:20:49,960 --> 00:20:54,520 Speaker 2: one more time, that I would face the truth and 375 00:20:54,600 --> 00:20:57,520 Speaker 2: get some help and go to treatment. And that happened. 376 00:20:57,960 --> 00:21:00,600 Speaker 2: I blacked out. I didn't remember anything of the night, 377 00:21:01,080 --> 00:21:03,760 Speaker 2: and I just started to weep. I was just a 378 00:21:03,800 --> 00:21:06,840 Speaker 2: broken man. I'd lay in my closet weeping and my 379 00:21:07,160 --> 00:21:09,720 Speaker 2: oldest daughter and I don't know if I was trying 380 00:21:09,720 --> 00:21:12,919 Speaker 2: to shield my wife or if I was just so embarrassed, 381 00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:16,719 Speaker 2: or but I called my daughter and said, you need 382 00:21:16,760 --> 00:21:19,640 Speaker 2: to come and help me get to treatment, and she did. 383 00:21:19,720 --> 00:21:21,920 Speaker 2: She got me into a detox which they released. I 384 00:21:21,920 --> 00:21:26,360 Speaker 2: didn't drink every day, so there was only that two 385 00:21:26,440 --> 00:21:29,840 Speaker 2: days before was drinking in here day before. So they're like, dude, 386 00:21:29,880 --> 00:21:31,760 Speaker 2: you don't need to be here, and I'm like, well, 387 00:21:32,200 --> 00:21:33,720 Speaker 2: I need to go to the treatment center then, so 388 00:21:33,760 --> 00:21:35,200 Speaker 2: I transfer to a treatment centers. 389 00:21:35,280 --> 00:21:38,800 Speaker 1: That's interesting, right, because I think and I'm not saying 390 00:21:38,800 --> 00:21:41,040 Speaker 1: that they're suggesting you didn't have a problem, but you know, 391 00:21:41,080 --> 00:21:44,280 Speaker 1: I talked to a lot of people who, you know, 392 00:21:44,480 --> 00:21:50,000 Speaker 1: I'm kind of in the process of starting starting some stuff. 393 00:21:50,040 --> 00:21:56,040 Speaker 1: And one of the I think underserved communities, if you will, 394 00:21:56,240 --> 00:21:59,720 Speaker 1: is people who listen, I don't drink every day, or 395 00:21:59,760 --> 00:22:01,520 Speaker 1: I don't do drugs every day, or I'm not I'm 396 00:22:01,560 --> 00:22:06,119 Speaker 1: not just constantly high or you know whatever. And and 397 00:22:06,200 --> 00:22:09,080 Speaker 1: because of the way Hollywood or even some other some 398 00:22:09,200 --> 00:22:13,520 Speaker 1: other places or whatnot treat them, it's like, well, maybe 399 00:22:13,720 --> 00:22:16,040 Speaker 1: you know, your problem's not that bad, right, or you 400 00:22:16,040 --> 00:22:17,600 Speaker 1: don't or you don't have a big problem, or you 401 00:22:17,640 --> 00:22:20,280 Speaker 1: don't have a problem, right, or they convinced themselves that. 402 00:22:20,359 --> 00:22:23,400 Speaker 1: And it's just it's just not always just about quantity 403 00:22:23,800 --> 00:22:25,120 Speaker 1: or frequency, you know. 404 00:22:25,680 --> 00:22:29,560 Speaker 2: It's about mental health. Yeah, and I think that is 405 00:22:29,640 --> 00:22:31,879 Speaker 2: just starting to shift. I've seen some positives here, at 406 00:22:31,960 --> 00:22:35,000 Speaker 2: least in our community. I'll share with that in a minute. 407 00:22:35,520 --> 00:22:40,240 Speaker 2: So I finally go to treatment. I completed the whole program. 408 00:22:40,960 --> 00:22:43,359 Speaker 2: They made some concessions for me so that I could 409 00:22:43,440 --> 00:22:46,200 Speaker 2: handle my business. So I had access to my phone 410 00:22:46,200 --> 00:22:48,120 Speaker 2: and I'd spend about an hour a day just contacting 411 00:22:48,160 --> 00:22:51,399 Speaker 2: my clients, making sure things were moving properly. But but I, 412 00:22:51,760 --> 00:22:54,920 Speaker 2: but I did the program there and uh it came 413 00:22:54,920 --> 00:22:57,560 Speaker 2: out and for about six months I was sober. But 414 00:22:57,640 --> 00:22:59,800 Speaker 2: I'll tell you what, I was the worst I've ever 415 00:22:59,800 --> 00:23:05,159 Speaker 2: been mentally. And I thought, yep, well, what I'm sitting 416 00:23:05,200 --> 00:23:08,080 Speaker 2: with whatever this is? This this sucks. I don't want this. 417 00:23:08,640 --> 00:23:11,120 Speaker 2: And so I said I'd rather be drinking again. Let 418 00:23:11,119 --> 00:23:13,840 Speaker 2: me numb this pain because God hadn't revealed to me 419 00:23:13,880 --> 00:23:16,160 Speaker 2: what was wrong with me yet. And so I began 420 00:23:16,240 --> 00:23:18,359 Speaker 2: to drink again. And you know that lasted only a 421 00:23:18,400 --> 00:23:23,320 Speaker 2: few months, and here came a big wake up call. 422 00:23:23,440 --> 00:23:28,160 Speaker 2: I started to really be stir. My parents and I 423 00:23:28,200 --> 00:23:29,800 Speaker 2: we grew up in a church in Long Beach called 424 00:23:29,840 --> 00:23:32,080 Speaker 2: it was Liquid First Baptist is now called ARC and 425 00:23:34,560 --> 00:23:37,960 Speaker 2: my parents has reminded me that one of our family 426 00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:40,000 Speaker 2: friends had passed away and asked me if I wanted 427 00:23:40,040 --> 00:23:41,680 Speaker 2: to go to the funeral. At the church, so I did, 428 00:23:42,520 --> 00:23:44,080 Speaker 2: but I drove separate because I had to go see 429 00:23:44,080 --> 00:23:46,360 Speaker 2: clients afterwards. So once I left, I went to see 430 00:23:46,359 --> 00:23:48,199 Speaker 2: my clients. After the funeral, my parents went to our 431 00:23:48,240 --> 00:23:53,120 Speaker 2: old neighborhood and uh, long story short, my dad and 432 00:23:53,240 --> 00:23:55,160 Speaker 2: mom as we picked them up. My wife and I 433 00:23:55,200 --> 00:23:56,680 Speaker 2: needed to be in church all the time, Like, dude, 434 00:23:56,720 --> 00:23:58,879 Speaker 2: I'm gonna kill myself with alcohol and drugs if I 435 00:23:59,000 --> 00:24:00,840 Speaker 2: just am not in church. So my wife and I 436 00:24:00,840 --> 00:24:04,040 Speaker 2: would literally go to Friday Night recovery, Saturday at Mariner, 437 00:24:04,160 --> 00:24:07,080 Speaker 2: Saturday at Saddleback, then Sunday at our home church, Mission 438 00:24:07,119 --> 00:24:10,399 Speaker 2: Hills Church. So I realized that, okay, dude, you've got 439 00:24:10,440 --> 00:24:13,280 Speaker 2: to change this. And I'm smart enough to know right, 440 00:24:14,040 --> 00:24:16,399 Speaker 2: But that doesn't mean I'm not going to stop the 441 00:24:16,480 --> 00:24:19,959 Speaker 2: behaviors on some level. And so as we're driving to 442 00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:23,600 Speaker 2: this church to Mariners, my dad says to starts talking 443 00:24:23,640 --> 00:24:26,960 Speaker 2: about this funeral and this person, and I'm turning up 444 00:24:27,000 --> 00:24:28,680 Speaker 2: the radio. My wife says, dude, what are you doing? 445 00:24:29,160 --> 00:24:31,560 Speaker 2: You know your dad's your best friend. What do you 446 00:24:31,560 --> 00:24:33,040 Speaker 2: you turn up the radio all night on him? You 447 00:24:33,080 --> 00:24:34,320 Speaker 2: didn't want to hear it of you? I said, I 448 00:24:34,320 --> 00:24:37,119 Speaker 2: don't remember doing that and I think you're wrong. So 449 00:24:37,160 --> 00:24:40,400 Speaker 2: it was all subconscious. Well, fast forward to the next Saturday, 450 00:24:40,400 --> 00:24:42,399 Speaker 2: they go to the funeral. We picked them up to 451 00:24:42,480 --> 00:24:45,359 Speaker 2: go to church, and my dad starts yapping about the 452 00:24:45,359 --> 00:24:47,560 Speaker 2: funeral and this person again, and I did it again, 453 00:24:47,600 --> 00:24:49,480 Speaker 2: but this time I realized it. I'm like, Okay, what 454 00:24:49,920 --> 00:24:53,440 Speaker 2: is this? And so that started the process of like, God, 455 00:24:53,440 --> 00:24:55,880 Speaker 2: what are you trying to what's going on here? Well, 456 00:24:55,920 --> 00:24:57,880 Speaker 2: it turns out I've been molested by a neighbor as 457 00:24:57,880 --> 00:25:01,600 Speaker 2: a kid, and that I'd opened up that can of worms. 458 00:25:01,640 --> 00:25:04,159 Speaker 2: So God had brought it to the front. Now that 459 00:25:04,359 --> 00:25:08,160 Speaker 2: ended with two more DUIs in ninety days. I had 460 00:25:08,160 --> 00:25:10,840 Speaker 2: no idea how to process this. I was very hurt, 461 00:25:10,960 --> 00:25:15,480 Speaker 2: very sad, very angry, very broken. God had brought me 462 00:25:15,560 --> 00:25:18,200 Speaker 2: to an emd R therapist in the beginning stages. Once 463 00:25:18,240 --> 00:25:20,240 Speaker 2: I got the third one, I'm like, I need I gotta, 464 00:25:20,600 --> 00:25:22,760 Speaker 2: I gotta get some help. What is you know? So 465 00:25:23,080 --> 00:25:25,640 Speaker 2: I went. I wept in my chair in my room, 466 00:25:25,680 --> 00:25:30,280 Speaker 2: calling therapist after therapists, saying God, I need help, and 467 00:25:30,640 --> 00:25:34,080 Speaker 2: I'm calling men because I'm thinking men should be with men, right, 468 00:25:34,440 --> 00:25:36,960 Speaker 2: And I think ninety nine point nine percent of the time. 469 00:25:37,080 --> 00:25:40,119 Speaker 2: That's the truth. I think I might be the anomaly 470 00:25:40,160 --> 00:25:42,439 Speaker 2: in that I was molested by a man, and so 471 00:25:42,520 --> 00:25:46,000 Speaker 2: my trust levels are broken. And so after calling and calling, 472 00:25:46,040 --> 00:25:48,439 Speaker 2: I saw this one picture and I read the bio 473 00:25:48,600 --> 00:25:53,119 Speaker 2: and said Christian and I thought I'm gonna call and 474 00:25:53,160 --> 00:25:54,800 Speaker 2: I called him her and I ended up talking on 475 00:25:54,840 --> 00:25:57,840 Speaker 2: the phone. And it was during COVID, and I wasn't 476 00:25:57,840 --> 00:25:59,520 Speaker 2: a big fan of COVID, So let me just tell 477 00:25:59,520 --> 00:26:02,640 Speaker 2: you that. And I said, do I have to wear 478 00:26:02,640 --> 00:26:05,480 Speaker 2: a mask if I come to you? She goes absolutely not. 479 00:26:06,240 --> 00:26:08,440 Speaker 2: And I said, okay, good, that's a positive. And I said, 480 00:26:08,680 --> 00:26:10,720 Speaker 2: you know, do you believe in Jesus Christ? Is he 481 00:26:10,760 --> 00:26:13,480 Speaker 2: your Lord and savior? And she said yes? And I said, 482 00:26:13,520 --> 00:26:15,600 Speaker 2: well can I see you in person? Then she said yeah. 483 00:26:15,640 --> 00:26:17,560 Speaker 2: I said, I only have one more thing to do, 484 00:26:18,240 --> 00:26:20,840 Speaker 2: and what you're going to hear next is probably the 485 00:26:20,880 --> 00:26:24,080 Speaker 2: first time I really respected my marriage and my wife. 486 00:26:24,400 --> 00:26:26,320 Speaker 2: I said, there's one thing I need to do first. 487 00:26:26,600 --> 00:26:29,600 Speaker 2: I need to get my wife's consent. Would it be 488 00:26:29,640 --> 00:26:32,080 Speaker 2: okay if I shared this information that I'm going to 489 00:26:32,119 --> 00:26:33,679 Speaker 2: come and see you, but can she please come to 490 00:26:33,800 --> 00:26:36,680 Speaker 2: and meet you? And as I think back on it, 491 00:26:36,680 --> 00:26:39,120 Speaker 2: it still floors me that I did that. So God 492 00:26:39,160 --> 00:26:42,679 Speaker 2: had already started to change me. Yeah, and it was 493 00:26:42,760 --> 00:26:45,480 Speaker 2: because that was not my that was not me in 494 00:26:45,520 --> 00:26:49,240 Speaker 2: any way, shape or form. And so my wife came 495 00:26:49,280 --> 00:26:50,919 Speaker 2: with me and she fell in love with her. She 496 00:26:51,080 --> 00:26:53,840 Speaker 2: sees her too. I still go every Tuesday. I'll go 497 00:26:53,880 --> 00:26:57,520 Speaker 2: till the day I die. We did MDR therapy together. 498 00:26:57,920 --> 00:27:01,560 Speaker 2: And so I get these three and four. I get 499 00:27:01,600 --> 00:27:04,919 Speaker 2: an attorney and the recommendation for me is to go 500 00:27:04,960 --> 00:27:08,520 Speaker 2: to drug and DUI court, and so I did. So 501 00:27:08,560 --> 00:27:10,960 Speaker 2: I signed up for that program. It's because I had 502 00:27:10,960 --> 00:27:15,240 Speaker 2: four that shifts this to a felony at that point, 503 00:27:15,320 --> 00:27:17,800 Speaker 2: and they're not on my record anymore. There's only one left. 504 00:27:17,840 --> 00:27:20,040 Speaker 2: I'll get into that later too, But so I got 505 00:27:20,080 --> 00:27:22,680 Speaker 2: this felony. So it changes me from a year program 506 00:27:22,720 --> 00:27:24,760 Speaker 2: to a year and a half. And you got to 507 00:27:24,800 --> 00:27:26,959 Speaker 2: go to court, and you got to go to counseling 508 00:27:27,080 --> 00:27:29,280 Speaker 2: even more than I was doing on my own through them. 509 00:27:29,680 --> 00:27:31,800 Speaker 2: And you have to go to drug an alcohol test 510 00:27:31,920 --> 00:27:34,080 Speaker 2: random will you call a phone number, and you got 511 00:27:34,080 --> 00:27:37,440 Speaker 2: to go and do that every morning and so, and 512 00:27:37,480 --> 00:27:40,000 Speaker 2: you lose your driver's license. So you got to navigate 513 00:27:40,040 --> 00:27:42,879 Speaker 2: these things. So Praise God, I had some money in 514 00:27:42,920 --> 00:27:45,879 Speaker 2: the bank, and praise God that my income had reached 515 00:27:45,880 --> 00:27:48,520 Speaker 2: a level in the quarter previous, which is what the 516 00:27:48,520 --> 00:27:51,720 Speaker 2: government goes on when you finally get your disability that 517 00:27:51,800 --> 00:27:54,840 Speaker 2: I had never touched so I but it took them 518 00:27:54,840 --> 00:27:56,280 Speaker 2: a long time to get it to me. Took them 519 00:27:57,160 --> 00:28:00,720 Speaker 2: a year anyhow. So I had the resources that I 520 00:28:00,720 --> 00:28:02,560 Speaker 2: could uber and all of that. So praise God, and 521 00:28:02,560 --> 00:28:04,240 Speaker 2: my wife would take me as she was able to 522 00:28:04,280 --> 00:28:08,680 Speaker 2: take me. But it was it was definitely a life 523 00:28:08,760 --> 00:28:10,800 Speaker 2: change man. So I called time out. I go to work. 524 00:28:10,840 --> 00:28:12,560 Speaker 2: I tell my buddy who owns the company. We've been 525 00:28:12,560 --> 00:28:14,639 Speaker 2: friend since we were ten. Hey, dude, I just got 526 00:28:14,720 --> 00:28:16,960 Speaker 2: DUIs three and four. And he's like, yeah, I know 527 00:28:17,000 --> 00:28:19,960 Speaker 2: you're struggling. And I said, I need a break, and 528 00:28:20,119 --> 00:28:22,960 Speaker 2: so we I said I'll be back in thirty days. 529 00:28:24,280 --> 00:28:27,600 Speaker 2: I need a break. That turned to sixty, and that 530 00:28:27,680 --> 00:28:31,080 Speaker 2: turned to ninety. Of course, I went immediately into treatment. 531 00:28:31,480 --> 00:28:36,919 Speaker 2: That night I got the fourth DUI. I was the 532 00:28:36,960 --> 00:28:38,800 Speaker 2: third one. I was chained to a hospital bed. They 533 00:28:38,840 --> 00:28:41,320 Speaker 2: thought I was dead. They found me my car parked 534 00:28:41,320 --> 00:28:43,440 Speaker 2: in the street with my driver's door open, and I'm 535 00:28:43,480 --> 00:28:46,760 Speaker 2: laying in between two houses, and they thought I was dead, 536 00:28:46,920 --> 00:28:49,680 Speaker 2: so they took me to the hospital and I woke 537 00:28:49,760 --> 00:28:52,680 Speaker 2: up to a sheriff looking at me, and I immediately thought, dude, 538 00:28:52,680 --> 00:28:56,440 Speaker 2: you did something real bad here more than a DUI here. 539 00:28:56,520 --> 00:28:58,719 Speaker 2: I said, hey, I got to ask you. Did I 540 00:28:58,800 --> 00:29:03,640 Speaker 2: hurt someone, anyone or anything? He said no, he said, 541 00:29:03,680 --> 00:29:05,520 Speaker 2: here's the story. We found you. We thought you were 542 00:29:05,560 --> 00:29:06,800 Speaker 2: dead between two houses. 543 00:29:06,840 --> 00:29:07,960 Speaker 1: And do you remember what happened? 544 00:29:08,040 --> 00:29:11,800 Speaker 2: Like what? I had gone to dinner with my wife 545 00:29:11,880 --> 00:29:13,760 Speaker 2: and I actually had two drinks at dinner and said 546 00:29:13,760 --> 00:29:15,360 Speaker 2: I got to go home. And then as we got home, 547 00:29:15,400 --> 00:29:16,640 Speaker 2: she got out of the car and I said, I 548 00:29:16,680 --> 00:29:18,720 Speaker 2: can't be here anymore, and I took off and I 549 00:29:18,760 --> 00:29:21,400 Speaker 2: went to Saddleback Church and they have three crosses, and 550 00:29:21,440 --> 00:29:23,080 Speaker 2: I got on my knees and I started to weep 551 00:29:23,080 --> 00:29:25,000 Speaker 2: and tell God, what is wrong with me? I can't 552 00:29:25,000 --> 00:29:27,959 Speaker 2: do this anymore. You've got to help me. God. And 553 00:29:28,440 --> 00:29:31,520 Speaker 2: of course, what was my only solution that go to 554 00:29:31,560 --> 00:29:34,800 Speaker 2: the bar. And I don't remember anything after that, so. 555 00:29:34,800 --> 00:29:37,360 Speaker 1: I must And I want to pause there because I 556 00:29:37,360 --> 00:29:40,600 Speaker 1: think there's probably people listening to this. Is that, like, 557 00:29:43,000 --> 00:29:46,440 Speaker 1: there's not a formula and God is not a Genie, Right, 558 00:29:47,000 --> 00:29:50,480 Speaker 1: And so I think it's interesting that you are literally, 559 00:29:51,720 --> 00:29:56,960 Speaker 1: in one moment, crying out to Jesus at Saddleback Church 560 00:29:56,960 --> 00:30:02,520 Speaker 1: of all places, right, Rick Warren's place, right, Yeah, celebrate recovery, 561 00:30:02,560 --> 00:30:05,040 Speaker 1: the home of celebrate recovery. 562 00:30:05,120 --> 00:30:07,120 Speaker 2: And let me just say this too, the house we 563 00:30:07,200 --> 00:30:10,720 Speaker 2: bought sits above it and looks down on it. We 564 00:30:10,760 --> 00:30:13,280 Speaker 2: don't go to that church, but how crazy is that? 565 00:30:13,600 --> 00:30:18,200 Speaker 1: Yeah? And so so you're sitting there, you're crying out, right, 566 00:30:18,280 --> 00:30:21,600 Speaker 1: And God doesn't always answer how we think he's gonna 567 00:30:22,000 --> 00:30:23,640 Speaker 1: You might think you may be listening to this and 568 00:30:23,680 --> 00:30:25,960 Speaker 1: you're like, Okay, if I just get to that point 569 00:30:26,000 --> 00:30:28,760 Speaker 1: of surrender, if I just get to that point, then 570 00:30:28,840 --> 00:30:32,880 Speaker 1: everything is gonna change, right. And I think what your 571 00:30:32,920 --> 00:30:37,080 Speaker 1: story is showing is that listen, it's not a formula. 572 00:30:37,280 --> 00:30:40,160 Speaker 1: You still had further to go, and God and his 573 00:30:40,800 --> 00:30:44,640 Speaker 1: infinite wisdom knew, Hey, Ian, you're getting there, but you're 574 00:30:44,680 --> 00:30:47,360 Speaker 1: still not fully broken yet. Yeah, And there's some people 575 00:30:47,400 --> 00:30:49,680 Speaker 1: listening to this. You're like, I'm crying out and God 576 00:30:49,720 --> 00:30:53,000 Speaker 1: is saying you're not. You think you're fully surrendered, you 577 00:30:53,040 --> 00:30:56,360 Speaker 1: think you're fully broken, but you're not fully broken yet. 578 00:30:56,680 --> 00:30:59,120 Speaker 1: And so yeah, it may take that. And then you 579 00:30:59,160 --> 00:31:02,080 Speaker 1: go out and drink and you wind up chained to 580 00:31:02,160 --> 00:31:04,560 Speaker 1: a hospital bed and the Lord saying I'm not done yet. 581 00:31:04,720 --> 00:31:09,560 Speaker 1: I'm not done yet, right right? Yeah, So that's the 582 00:31:09,600 --> 00:31:10,960 Speaker 1: third and then what was the fourth? 583 00:31:11,160 --> 00:31:14,240 Speaker 2: So there was ninety days, And in those ninety days, 584 00:31:14,280 --> 00:31:16,320 Speaker 2: I can tell you I think I drank three times. 585 00:31:16,400 --> 00:31:20,320 Speaker 2: Four times. Maybe two ended in dui, one where they 586 00:31:20,320 --> 00:31:27,080 Speaker 2: thought I was dead. The fourth one was I was 587 00:31:27,120 --> 00:31:29,959 Speaker 2: just so broken. I was so confused and so lost. 588 00:31:30,040 --> 00:31:35,120 Speaker 2: But I get the fourth dui and again I'm crying 589 00:31:35,120 --> 00:31:37,080 Speaker 2: out to God, like what's wrong with me? Why am 590 00:31:37,120 --> 00:31:40,000 Speaker 2: I behaving this way? I can't believe it. So I'd 591 00:31:40,000 --> 00:31:42,560 Speaker 2: gone to church. After church, I'd gone to and I 592 00:31:42,640 --> 00:31:45,680 Speaker 2: actually served gone next door. There's a little restaurant and 593 00:31:45,720 --> 00:31:48,360 Speaker 2: I wanted to watch the England soccer game. And I 594 00:31:48,440 --> 00:31:50,400 Speaker 2: sat there and I can tell you I had the receipt. 595 00:31:50,800 --> 00:31:53,920 Speaker 2: I only had two shots, and I had a full meal, 596 00:31:53,960 --> 00:31:55,920 Speaker 2: and I had espresso, and I had a bottle of 597 00:31:56,240 --> 00:31:59,120 Speaker 2: sparkling water. I had two shots, but I blocked out. 598 00:32:00,400 --> 00:32:05,320 Speaker 2: So God was clearly telling me alcohol is not to 599 00:32:05,360 --> 00:32:07,680 Speaker 2: be in your body on any level, in any way, 600 00:32:07,720 --> 00:32:10,280 Speaker 2: shape or formed. So I got in my car, blacked down, 601 00:32:10,320 --> 00:32:13,520 Speaker 2: don't remember clip the card. They didn't care about it. 602 00:32:13,520 --> 00:32:17,040 Speaker 2: They had moved on. But at that point I had 603 00:32:17,040 --> 00:32:20,360 Speaker 2: pulled over and looking at my car. And now I'm like, okay, dude, 604 00:32:20,360 --> 00:32:23,600 Speaker 2: this is a felony. You're going to prison. And I 605 00:32:23,640 --> 00:32:26,280 Speaker 2: start to freak out. So I call my daughter. She 606 00:32:26,400 --> 00:32:28,479 Speaker 2: shows up, She calls my other daughter. They show up, 607 00:32:28,520 --> 00:32:30,719 Speaker 2: My parents show up. So I'm surrounded by my family 608 00:32:30,720 --> 00:32:35,560 Speaker 2: at this scene of my fourth DUI. And and long 609 00:32:35,560 --> 00:32:38,920 Speaker 2: story short is, they take me to the station and 610 00:32:39,840 --> 00:32:41,880 Speaker 2: they say We've never seen anything like this, And I said, 611 00:32:41,880 --> 00:32:43,440 Speaker 2: what the d uy And they said, no, no, no, 612 00:32:43,440 --> 00:32:47,040 Speaker 2: we never see anybody be surrounded by their family that 613 00:32:47,160 --> 00:32:49,720 Speaker 2: loves them so much. So this is my fourth UI. 614 00:32:49,840 --> 00:32:52,200 Speaker 2: It's a felony. They should send me from Irvine Jail 615 00:32:52,320 --> 00:32:55,320 Speaker 2: straight to the Olacey jail and I should be sitting 616 00:32:55,360 --> 00:32:58,360 Speaker 2: there until I go to court right to have a hearing. 617 00:32:58,920 --> 00:33:00,960 Speaker 2: They said they released me forty five minutes to my 618 00:33:00,960 --> 00:33:05,320 Speaker 2: family set me home. So and I know why now 619 00:33:05,440 --> 00:33:08,040 Speaker 2: as I looked back. But so I get in the car, 620 00:33:08,120 --> 00:33:10,959 Speaker 2: I'm still causing trouble. I'm thinking I'm just going to Mexico. 621 00:33:11,040 --> 00:33:13,040 Speaker 2: Let me get my passport. I'm done with this life, 622 00:33:13,520 --> 00:33:17,360 Speaker 2: literally saying goodbye to my daughter, crying, weeping like I 623 00:33:17,440 --> 00:33:21,320 Speaker 2: just can't do this anymore. And it took about eight hours, 624 00:33:21,800 --> 00:33:24,960 Speaker 2: and at about ten ten or eleven at night, I 625 00:33:25,240 --> 00:33:27,960 Speaker 2: came out of it. After getting really ugly. I'm reading, 626 00:33:27,960 --> 00:33:30,960 Speaker 2: I'm weeping on the phone to my buddy and his wife. 627 00:33:31,640 --> 00:33:34,320 Speaker 2: I wanted to hurt my I mean, I was just lost, dude, 628 00:33:34,760 --> 00:33:37,720 Speaker 2: and I had my Bible open, I'm reading scripture weeping, 629 00:33:38,360 --> 00:33:43,200 Speaker 2: and finally I felt a leave. I felt that demon, 630 00:33:44,480 --> 00:33:50,080 Speaker 2: whatever that was, that that weight had dissipated, and I 631 00:33:50,640 --> 00:33:54,440 Speaker 2: kind of came too, and I just told my wife, 632 00:33:54,520 --> 00:33:56,800 Speaker 2: call our men's pastor, call pastor, might get him over here, 633 00:33:57,720 --> 00:33:59,480 Speaker 2: and what's going on with you? I said, just get 634 00:33:59,520 --> 00:34:01,960 Speaker 2: him over here. I'm done. And he came over and 635 00:34:02,000 --> 00:34:03,719 Speaker 2: I looked at them both and I said, You're not 636 00:34:03,760 --> 00:34:06,080 Speaker 2: going to get any more fight out of me. I 637 00:34:06,320 --> 00:34:08,080 Speaker 2: surrendered my life back to God. I want to pray. 638 00:34:08,080 --> 00:34:09,520 Speaker 2: I want to give it back to him right now, 639 00:34:10,680 --> 00:34:12,880 Speaker 2: and I want to walk with him and I'll do 640 00:34:12,960 --> 00:34:14,279 Speaker 2: whatever it takes. I know I have a lot of 641 00:34:14,360 --> 00:34:16,759 Speaker 2: damage to rebuild, a lot of trust to rebuild. I 642 00:34:16,800 --> 00:34:18,840 Speaker 2: get it, and I won't I won't avoid any of it. 643 00:34:18,880 --> 00:34:21,920 Speaker 2: I'm willing to do whatever it takes right now. So 644 00:34:22,040 --> 00:34:25,680 Speaker 2: that never could have happened had I been sitting in jail, right, 645 00:34:25,960 --> 00:34:29,879 Speaker 2: And that began the process of surrender. So we put 646 00:34:29,880 --> 00:34:32,400 Speaker 2: a team around me, my pastor, my buddy Jim who's 647 00:34:32,920 --> 00:34:34,360 Speaker 2: he was a nurse at the time he's now a 648 00:34:34,360 --> 00:34:38,360 Speaker 2: psychologist and a therapist, my parents, and my wife. That 649 00:34:38,520 --> 00:34:41,279 Speaker 2: was my team. We got me to we found the 650 00:34:41,280 --> 00:34:44,120 Speaker 2: first treatment center. Right, this is where it gets fun, 651 00:34:44,200 --> 00:34:47,279 Speaker 2: let me tell you. So we drive six hours into 652 00:34:47,280 --> 00:34:51,000 Speaker 2: San Diego Mountains and this place is the Middanore and 653 00:34:51,360 --> 00:34:55,000 Speaker 2: I like nice things. I gotta be honest with you, right, 654 00:34:55,880 --> 00:34:58,799 Speaker 2: And so we get there. I'm like, oh my gosh, God, 655 00:34:58,880 --> 00:35:01,279 Speaker 2: you really do need me so here. So we go in, 656 00:35:01,400 --> 00:35:03,640 Speaker 2: we interview with them and all this, and and we 657 00:35:03,719 --> 00:35:05,839 Speaker 2: have all my stuff in the car. And I looked 658 00:35:05,880 --> 00:35:08,359 Speaker 2: at my wife and I said, I will stay here. 659 00:35:08,400 --> 00:35:11,000 Speaker 2: If you want me to, I will do it. And 660 00:35:11,040 --> 00:35:12,960 Speaker 2: she looked at me. She goes, there's no chance you're 661 00:35:13,000 --> 00:35:17,040 Speaker 2: staying in. Get in the car. But now now I 662 00:35:17,320 --> 00:35:20,120 Speaker 2: get in the car and I start to realize, well, 663 00:35:20,160 --> 00:35:22,879 Speaker 2: you've just told your kids, your parents and everybody close 664 00:35:22,920 --> 00:35:24,760 Speaker 2: to you what you're doing. Now you're not doing it again. 665 00:35:25,640 --> 00:35:28,200 Speaker 2: And so I start to weep, like here here's the 666 00:35:28,239 --> 00:35:31,120 Speaker 2: failures back. My wife's like, no, this wasn't your fall. 667 00:35:31,160 --> 00:35:32,880 Speaker 2: I'll explain to him. I said, doesn't matter, man, I 668 00:35:32,920 --> 00:35:35,200 Speaker 2: made a commitment. I got to follow through. And so 669 00:35:35,280 --> 00:35:37,920 Speaker 2: we went straight home, got back on the phone, found 670 00:35:37,920 --> 00:35:40,239 Speaker 2: another place. It's the it's three hours the other way 671 00:35:40,280 --> 00:35:43,040 Speaker 2: into La. So we drive the next like I think 672 00:35:43,040 --> 00:35:44,480 Speaker 2: it was within a few days. We drive all the 673 00:35:44,520 --> 00:35:48,560 Speaker 2: way there, get there. It's a gated compound and so 674 00:35:48,600 --> 00:35:49,960 Speaker 2: you got a call to get in. We get in. 675 00:35:50,040 --> 00:35:52,359 Speaker 2: I told my wife, I feel very uncomfortable right now. 676 00:35:52,480 --> 00:35:55,320 Speaker 2: We open up the door and there's these people just smoking. 677 00:35:55,840 --> 00:35:58,400 Speaker 2: We walk down a hall taking a tour of this place. 678 00:35:58,520 --> 00:36:01,120 Speaker 2: There's a lady that's happening, he kid like standing looking 679 00:36:01,120 --> 00:36:04,960 Speaker 2: at me, bare chested, right, And I'm like, what, lord, 680 00:36:05,360 --> 00:36:08,960 Speaker 2: there's no way you want? No way? Right? And so 681 00:36:09,000 --> 00:36:11,120 Speaker 2: I told my wife, as we had a little bit 682 00:36:11,160 --> 00:36:12,680 Speaker 2: of space, I said, we've got to get out of here. 683 00:36:12,719 --> 00:36:14,520 Speaker 2: I don't feel like this. I felt like they were 684 00:36:14,520 --> 00:36:16,920 Speaker 2: going to stab me with something, some drugs or something. 685 00:36:17,800 --> 00:36:20,400 Speaker 2: And so I told them, oh, this is great, this 686 00:36:20,440 --> 00:36:23,040 Speaker 2: looks great. We got to go make a few phone calls. 687 00:36:23,120 --> 00:36:25,240 Speaker 2: Let me tie up some loose knots and we'll be back. 688 00:36:25,560 --> 00:36:28,920 Speaker 2: And we got it. Drive all the way home. Now 689 00:36:28,920 --> 00:36:31,480 Speaker 2: I'm really sweeping. I'm like, I'm a failure. I can't 690 00:36:31,520 --> 00:36:34,440 Speaker 2: even blah blah blah. Well, it's God's plan, right, it's 691 00:36:34,480 --> 00:36:37,200 Speaker 2: not mine. And I think he was just showing how 692 00:36:37,239 --> 00:36:40,279 Speaker 2: willing I was to my wife and tip the people 693 00:36:40,320 --> 00:36:42,680 Speaker 2: around me. And so we get home, and it had 694 00:36:42,719 --> 00:36:44,759 Speaker 2: taken about two weeks for me to get into a 695 00:36:44,760 --> 00:36:50,480 Speaker 2: treatment center because the places I was calling were telling me, oh, wait, 696 00:36:50,520 --> 00:36:53,239 Speaker 2: your ten days sober. Well, see we can get you in, 697 00:36:53,280 --> 00:36:56,719 Speaker 2: but you're gonna need to go drink. And I heard 698 00:36:56,719 --> 00:37:01,680 Speaker 2: that repeatedly. My wife will there explain that. Well, insurance, right, 699 00:37:01,760 --> 00:37:04,000 Speaker 2: so if I'm tenor by the time I got in, 700 00:37:04,040 --> 00:37:07,320 Speaker 2: I was fourteen days sober, So my insurance company wouldn't 701 00:37:07,320 --> 00:37:10,359 Speaker 2: even approve me for twenty eight days. Wow, they said, 702 00:37:10,360 --> 00:37:13,000 Speaker 2: he's already got fourteen. We're just gonna prove him for fourteen. 703 00:37:14,680 --> 00:37:18,120 Speaker 2: Think about that. It's all about money. And so I 704 00:37:18,160 --> 00:37:21,239 Speaker 2: finally got into a place more my style. It was 705 00:37:21,320 --> 00:37:23,680 Speaker 2: a mansion on the beach, two doors down from Tim 706 00:37:23,760 --> 00:37:27,920 Speaker 2: Salmon from the Californian Angels, and hey, Gil, Yeah it 707 00:37:27,960 --> 00:37:29,600 Speaker 2: was great. So I could lay out in the sun 708 00:37:29,680 --> 00:37:32,080 Speaker 2: and pull you know, just it was good for me. 709 00:37:32,200 --> 00:37:35,200 Speaker 2: But I also realized that God wanted me to be 710 00:37:35,280 --> 00:37:38,840 Speaker 2: a little comfortable so that I could begin to grow 711 00:37:38,960 --> 00:37:41,040 Speaker 2: the way he wanted me to grow, so that he 712 00:37:41,080 --> 00:37:44,000 Speaker 2: could use me the way he wanted to. And so 713 00:37:44,239 --> 00:37:48,040 Speaker 2: very quickly I realized, you're not so much here because 714 00:37:48,080 --> 00:37:49,880 Speaker 2: you need to quit drink. And you did that, and 715 00:37:50,200 --> 00:37:52,680 Speaker 2: I know, you know you're raw, you're fifteen days. But 716 00:37:52,719 --> 00:37:54,880 Speaker 2: there's a bigger plan here for your life. And so 717 00:37:55,000 --> 00:37:57,880 Speaker 2: I started to open up my Bible every morning and 718 00:37:57,880 --> 00:38:00,160 Speaker 2: do a devotional. Little by little, the med would join me. 719 00:38:01,160 --> 00:38:04,160 Speaker 2: I received texts from my life group. See when I broke, 720 00:38:04,600 --> 00:38:07,640 Speaker 2: God had put us at Mission Hill's Church. When I 721 00:38:07,680 --> 00:38:10,200 Speaker 2: sat in the sanctuary the first time I came to 722 00:38:10,239 --> 00:38:13,719 Speaker 2: this church, what was actually downstairs they were remodeling, and 723 00:38:13,880 --> 00:38:16,800 Speaker 2: up on the screen the pastor put up my favorite 724 00:38:16,800 --> 00:38:19,200 Speaker 2: soccer team is Liverpool and their motto is You'll never 725 00:38:19,239 --> 00:38:22,920 Speaker 2: walk alone. Well that is kind of God's model with us, 726 00:38:22,920 --> 00:38:26,120 Speaker 2: all right, yeah, right, And so he actually put it 727 00:38:26,200 --> 00:38:27,880 Speaker 2: up on the screen. I thought, oh, I am home. 728 00:38:28,200 --> 00:38:30,120 Speaker 2: And then one time, sitting in the worship center, I 729 00:38:30,160 --> 00:38:32,439 Speaker 2: don't know about a month or two later, I could 730 00:38:32,520 --> 00:38:35,719 Speaker 2: feel God lifting me during the message, sitting me up 731 00:38:35,800 --> 00:38:41,359 Speaker 2: higher and building me up stronger. And I'll never forget that. 732 00:38:42,560 --> 00:38:47,359 Speaker 2: And so this church, you know, became our home. And 733 00:38:48,000 --> 00:38:50,040 Speaker 2: it's just crazy how all that transpired. But I'll get 734 00:38:50,080 --> 00:38:52,560 Speaker 2: into that in a little bit too. But so anyhow, 735 00:38:53,400 --> 00:38:56,400 Speaker 2: as I'm in this center, God had given us a 736 00:38:56,480 --> 00:38:59,400 Speaker 2: life group. So as I broke, I'm breaking with a 737 00:38:59,480 --> 00:39:02,239 Speaker 2: life group. My wife and I finally had connection. We 738 00:39:02,320 --> 00:39:04,879 Speaker 2: had this life group of people that did life with us. 739 00:39:05,440 --> 00:39:08,120 Speaker 2: And I had had a shield around me. Look at 740 00:39:08,120 --> 00:39:10,359 Speaker 2: my car, look at my house, look at my right. 741 00:39:11,120 --> 00:39:12,600 Speaker 2: But I'm not telling you who I am. 742 00:39:12,920 --> 00:39:13,120 Speaker 1: Yeah. 743 00:39:13,239 --> 00:39:16,279 Speaker 2: And after that fourth DUI, between the third and fourth, 744 00:39:16,280 --> 00:39:18,480 Speaker 2: I began to open up and tell the truth. I 745 00:39:18,520 --> 00:39:22,080 Speaker 2: began to finally say what was happening. So I would 746 00:39:22,360 --> 00:39:25,359 Speaker 2: planned on saying when everybody asked, well, where's it I'm 747 00:39:25,360 --> 00:39:28,120 Speaker 2: gonna go on vacation, I'm gonna go on a trip. Well, 748 00:39:28,160 --> 00:39:30,880 Speaker 2: the trip was to treatment and the second trip was 749 00:39:30,880 --> 00:39:35,080 Speaker 2: to jail for the fourth UI. So I do my 750 00:39:36,000 --> 00:39:38,520 Speaker 2: I was supposed to be there for twenty eight days fourteen. 751 00:39:38,560 --> 00:39:42,759 Speaker 2: Originally they had to twist some words and to get 752 00:39:42,760 --> 00:39:44,680 Speaker 2: me to stay for twenty eight days. In that twenty 753 00:39:44,719 --> 00:39:48,920 Speaker 2: eight days, I brought people to Jesus. I led recovery groups. 754 00:39:49,360 --> 00:39:51,760 Speaker 2: I just started to pour into people and I started 755 00:39:51,800 --> 00:39:55,600 Speaker 2: to realize, Okay, there's something here. I didn't know what yet, 756 00:39:55,600 --> 00:40:00,640 Speaker 2: but I realized there's something here. Another qu story as 757 00:40:00,680 --> 00:40:02,520 Speaker 2: there was a guy that was part of the treatment 758 00:40:02,600 --> 00:40:04,800 Speaker 2: center and he had had a seizure and is shaking 759 00:40:04,840 --> 00:40:09,320 Speaker 2: on the ground. And as he's shaking and paramedics are coming, 760 00:40:10,760 --> 00:40:14,560 Speaker 2: he said he couldn't hear anything, see anything. All he 761 00:40:14,560 --> 00:40:17,040 Speaker 2: could do was feel. And I reached down next to 762 00:40:17,120 --> 00:40:19,160 Speaker 2: him and I put my hand on him, and I 763 00:40:19,200 --> 00:40:21,200 Speaker 2: just said, you're gonna be okay, and you know, Jesus 764 00:40:21,200 --> 00:40:24,640 Speaker 2: loves you, and so do I. And turns out when 765 00:40:24,640 --> 00:40:26,799 Speaker 2: he got out of the hospital from that seizure, it 766 00:40:26,880 --> 00:40:30,800 Speaker 2: was about ten days later. We go to Target every Sunday. 767 00:40:30,880 --> 00:40:32,520 Speaker 2: If you're in treatment, you go there and you pick 768 00:40:32,560 --> 00:40:34,200 Speaker 2: up your food for the week or whatever. You're doing 769 00:40:34,280 --> 00:40:38,080 Speaker 2: your snacks and our van pulled up, and then they 770 00:40:38,120 --> 00:40:40,400 Speaker 2: pulled up in a car and he jumps out, and 771 00:40:40,440 --> 00:40:42,799 Speaker 2: I'm standing outside the van, just having walked out, and 772 00:40:42,800 --> 00:40:44,960 Speaker 2: he comes running at me and I'm like, this is 773 00:40:45,040 --> 00:40:48,080 Speaker 2: gonna like try to shut me and he runs but 774 00:40:48,120 --> 00:40:51,000 Speaker 2: he jumps up in the air into my arms and 775 00:40:51,040 --> 00:40:53,719 Speaker 2: so I just hug him. He starts to weep, and 776 00:40:53,760 --> 00:40:57,360 Speaker 2: he says, I got to tell you something. I couldn't 777 00:40:57,360 --> 00:40:59,360 Speaker 2: hear anything, and I couldn't see anything, but when you 778 00:40:59,480 --> 00:41:04,080 Speaker 2: touched me, I heard that and I saw it, and 779 00:41:04,440 --> 00:41:07,880 Speaker 2: he said, something happened. I want what you have. I 780 00:41:07,960 --> 00:41:10,480 Speaker 2: want Jesus. And so right there in the Target parking lot, 781 00:41:10,560 --> 00:41:14,359 Speaker 2: we prayed to receive Jesus. And so, yeah, God's doing 782 00:41:14,400 --> 00:41:19,319 Speaker 2: these miracles and I'm just sitting back, going okay, all right. 783 00:41:19,960 --> 00:41:23,000 Speaker 2: So the shift quickly went from you know, just Ian, 784 00:41:23,200 --> 00:41:26,160 Speaker 2: don't drink to I have a plan for your life. 785 00:41:26,200 --> 00:41:28,880 Speaker 2: Are you ready to step into it? And I was. 786 00:41:29,480 --> 00:41:33,040 Speaker 2: And so I finished the treatment there and now I've 787 00:41:33,080 --> 00:41:35,040 Speaker 2: got to go pay the piper. I call it with 788 00:41:35,160 --> 00:41:37,640 Speaker 2: the Dui court, because typically you would be in jail, 789 00:41:37,960 --> 00:41:39,600 Speaker 2: they would call you out of jail to come to 790 00:41:39,640 --> 00:41:42,040 Speaker 2: your hearing. Then they'd send you back to jail to 791 00:41:42,040 --> 00:41:44,719 Speaker 2: do your time that you're convicted of. Well, with the 792 00:41:44,800 --> 00:41:47,280 Speaker 2: dui courd, I did it different. I went to treatment. 793 00:41:47,360 --> 00:41:50,399 Speaker 2: The judge Anderson was calling my attorney, get that guy 794 00:41:50,400 --> 00:41:53,000 Speaker 2: in here. He's in treatment. I don't care, he needs 795 00:41:53,040 --> 00:41:56,160 Speaker 2: to be here. And so we pushed that for that 796 00:41:56,400 --> 00:41:58,520 Speaker 2: entire time. So once I got out of treatment, I 797 00:41:58,560 --> 00:42:00,840 Speaker 2: went and saw the judge and it was time to 798 00:42:00,880 --> 00:42:05,560 Speaker 2: pay the piper. And because of the fourth dui, it 799 00:42:05,760 --> 00:42:08,399 Speaker 2: shifted some things that gave me a little more time 800 00:42:08,440 --> 00:42:10,520 Speaker 2: in jail, so I had like thirty days. And then 801 00:42:10,560 --> 00:42:14,160 Speaker 2: it also shifted the length in the program, the court 802 00:42:14,160 --> 00:42:16,960 Speaker 2: program from a year to year and a half. And 803 00:42:17,040 --> 00:42:22,080 Speaker 2: so fair enough. So I show up there, he sentences 804 00:42:22,080 --> 00:42:25,000 Speaker 2: me to the jail time and here I am still 805 00:42:25,000 --> 00:42:27,560 Speaker 2: holding on to a little bit of control. So I 806 00:42:27,560 --> 00:42:30,200 Speaker 2: got some money, and so I'm like, well, I'm just 807 00:42:30,239 --> 00:42:32,600 Speaker 2: going to pay to go to the jail, because the 808 00:42:32,680 --> 00:42:34,799 Speaker 2: Lakers and the Kings go to jail, right and they 809 00:42:34,840 --> 00:42:37,200 Speaker 2: got to go. And I know how this works, and 810 00:42:37,280 --> 00:42:40,200 Speaker 2: so I called a couple of contacts. Huntington Beach Jail 811 00:42:40,239 --> 00:42:42,680 Speaker 2: has a program that you paid a stay. You you 812 00:42:42,920 --> 00:42:44,520 Speaker 2: get a chef, you get your food, you get your 813 00:42:44,560 --> 00:42:47,640 Speaker 2: own TV, your own private room. I'm in. So I 814 00:42:47,640 --> 00:42:50,200 Speaker 2: went and filled out their application, passed all their process, 815 00:42:50,320 --> 00:42:53,280 Speaker 2: paid a bunch of money to do it. And Judge 816 00:42:53,280 --> 00:42:56,880 Speaker 2: Anderson told my attorney, would you let your client know 817 00:42:57,000 --> 00:43:00,160 Speaker 2: that we don't do that here. He's going to the 818 00:43:00,200 --> 00:43:03,759 Speaker 2: old Lace jail. So I'm supposed to that day in 819 00:43:03,760 --> 00:43:08,160 Speaker 2: that court go straight to jail. But because the judge 820 00:43:08,200 --> 00:43:10,239 Speaker 2: gave me some grace, my attorney said, can you have 821 00:43:10,280 --> 00:43:12,879 Speaker 2: one night to process this and come back tomorrow morning? 822 00:43:12,880 --> 00:43:15,400 Speaker 2: And Judge Anderson said fine, So he allowed me to 823 00:43:15,440 --> 00:43:17,200 Speaker 2: go home that night kind of take a deep breath 824 00:43:17,960 --> 00:43:21,640 Speaker 2: and realize you're not in control. Yeah, not at all? 825 00:43:21,719 --> 00:43:24,560 Speaker 2: Ian and I still was holding onto it a little bit, 826 00:43:25,160 --> 00:43:28,399 Speaker 2: and that next day I showed up on time, went down, 827 00:43:28,480 --> 00:43:31,439 Speaker 2: got put in handcuffs, and driven over to the Oldlace jail. 828 00:43:31,440 --> 00:43:33,160 Speaker 2: It was when the handcuffs went on and I sat 829 00:43:33,239 --> 00:43:37,000 Speaker 2: in the back of that car that I finally fully 830 00:43:37,480 --> 00:43:42,080 Speaker 2: just surrendered it all and said, God, you're in control. Okay, 831 00:43:42,120 --> 00:43:42,960 Speaker 2: I'm going to jail. 832 00:43:43,000 --> 00:43:43,200 Speaker 1: Now. 833 00:43:44,640 --> 00:43:47,680 Speaker 2: You want me in jail for a reason, will you 834 00:43:47,760 --> 00:43:50,160 Speaker 2: reveal that to me so that I can do your work. 835 00:43:50,440 --> 00:43:53,080 Speaker 2: And that began my prayer. On the way to jail 836 00:43:53,239 --> 00:43:55,879 Speaker 2: I had just done. And so I showed up there, 837 00:43:55,960 --> 00:43:59,640 Speaker 2: and because I refused all the COVID vaccines and all 838 00:43:59,680 --> 00:44:03,960 Speaker 2: of that stuff, they threw me into quarantine. And so 839 00:44:04,040 --> 00:44:07,120 Speaker 2: I only had one other bunkmate, and so they would 840 00:44:07,120 --> 00:44:08,880 Speaker 2: come by and ask every day, Hey, are you ready 841 00:44:08,920 --> 00:44:12,520 Speaker 2: yet to take the shot or whatever? And so we 842 00:44:12,560 --> 00:44:14,880 Speaker 2: can put you in general population. And I'm thinking that 843 00:44:15,040 --> 00:44:19,640 Speaker 2: sounds horrible, like a little quarantine. And so I asked 844 00:44:19,680 --> 00:44:22,040 Speaker 2: my wife to send me the Life Recovery Bible because 845 00:44:22,080 --> 00:44:25,120 Speaker 2: in there and it shows you how to lead a 846 00:44:25,120 --> 00:44:27,560 Speaker 2: meeting because I had no clue. I'd learned a little 847 00:44:27,560 --> 00:44:29,759 Speaker 2: bit when I went to treatment and started to do 848 00:44:29,840 --> 00:44:32,120 Speaker 2: some of that stuff, but now it's Ian. And so 849 00:44:32,280 --> 00:44:36,080 Speaker 2: with my cellmate, he had an interesting story. He was 850 00:44:36,080 --> 00:44:39,759 Speaker 2: in there for some domestic violence, and you know, he 851 00:44:40,000 --> 00:44:43,280 Speaker 2: hears me reading my Bible and doing this recovery stuff, 852 00:44:43,320 --> 00:44:45,600 Speaker 2: and he says, hey, can I talk to you? I 853 00:44:45,640 --> 00:44:48,239 Speaker 2: said sure. He says, you know, I don't have a 854 00:44:48,320 --> 00:44:50,800 Speaker 2: drinking problem, but I'm in here for domestic violence. Do 855 00:44:51,160 --> 00:44:52,520 Speaker 2: you think that would work for me? And I said, 856 00:44:52,520 --> 00:44:54,360 Speaker 2: I do, And I said, tell me about your story. 857 00:44:54,560 --> 00:44:56,040 Speaker 2: He goes, well, I got really drunk and then I 858 00:44:56,120 --> 00:44:58,440 Speaker 2: hit her and I'm like, okay, there's one. Tell me 859 00:44:58,480 --> 00:45:00,680 Speaker 2: the second one. I got drunk. Man, I don't even 860 00:45:00,680 --> 00:45:02,560 Speaker 2: remember doing it, but I hit her and I'm like, 861 00:45:03,040 --> 00:45:04,719 Speaker 2: And so he starts to tell me the third one, 862 00:45:04,719 --> 00:45:06,200 Speaker 2: which is the same as the first two, and he 863 00:45:06,239 --> 00:45:07,600 Speaker 2: looks at me, goes, do you think I have a 864 00:45:07,680 --> 00:45:13,239 Speaker 2: drinking problem? I said, I look Catholic, I said, I do. 865 00:45:13,440 --> 00:45:15,759 Speaker 2: Bro and so him and I he was ten days 866 00:45:15,760 --> 00:45:19,799 Speaker 2: sober when he got out first time, and uh and so. 867 00:45:20,239 --> 00:45:22,600 Speaker 2: And then as I walked the circle, I realized I 868 00:45:22,600 --> 00:45:25,320 Speaker 2: could get three bibles from the chaplain, and so I 869 00:45:25,360 --> 00:45:27,640 Speaker 2: would walk the circle because when you're in quarantine, you 870 00:45:27,680 --> 00:45:30,200 Speaker 2: only got an hour out and you could walk, and 871 00:45:30,320 --> 00:45:32,960 Speaker 2: the men would begin to seek me because I just 872 00:45:33,080 --> 00:45:36,319 Speaker 2: had God's peace. I carry a piece with me and so, hey, 873 00:45:36,320 --> 00:45:38,040 Speaker 2: what do you what happened to you? And I could 874 00:45:38,040 --> 00:45:40,319 Speaker 2: tell them I have four DUIs. I'm no different than you. 875 00:45:40,640 --> 00:45:42,560 Speaker 2: I just realized I was molested. Well you don't. You 876 00:45:42,560 --> 00:45:44,440 Speaker 2: don't want to say that. So, no, I was molested 877 00:45:44,480 --> 00:45:47,120 Speaker 2: as a kid. There ain't nothing wrong. I do nothing wrong, 878 00:45:47,400 --> 00:45:49,399 Speaker 2: but I'm getting better. I'm gonna get some help. I'm 879 00:45:49,400 --> 00:45:52,360 Speaker 2: going to therapy, and uh, well, tell me about this, Jesus, 880 00:45:52,520 --> 00:45:55,120 Speaker 2: you know, can you can you read the Bible with me? 881 00:45:55,360 --> 00:45:57,720 Speaker 2: Will you just walk with me every day? And and 882 00:45:57,719 --> 00:46:00,880 Speaker 2: and hear me, listen to me talk? Sure? And so 883 00:46:00,960 --> 00:46:02,920 Speaker 2: I began to do all of these things that a 884 00:46:02,960 --> 00:46:08,200 Speaker 2: pastor does, the shepherding, the listening, the carrying, the self 885 00:46:08,280 --> 00:46:13,799 Speaker 2: listeness instead of the self fishing. And it was amazing. 886 00:46:13,880 --> 00:46:16,480 Speaker 2: So my experience in jail was people coming to Jesus, 887 00:46:16,520 --> 00:46:19,879 Speaker 2: me learning how to lead a recovery meeting. And then 888 00:46:19,880 --> 00:46:21,480 Speaker 2: I get out and now it's time to do the 889 00:46:21,520 --> 00:46:25,120 Speaker 2: court program, which was not fun. But again I quickly 890 00:46:25,160 --> 00:46:28,280 Speaker 2: realized why I had no driver's license. It was because 891 00:46:28,400 --> 00:46:31,520 Speaker 2: I had a captive audience. Every uber driver I could 892 00:46:31,520 --> 00:46:34,480 Speaker 2: share my story with. And I didn't wait one minute. 893 00:46:34,480 --> 00:46:36,399 Speaker 2: As soon as the door was closed, my name's Ian. 894 00:46:36,680 --> 00:46:38,560 Speaker 2: Do you know where you're taking me? Yeah, we're going 895 00:46:38,560 --> 00:46:40,560 Speaker 2: to therapy. I got molested as a kid, I got 896 00:46:40,560 --> 00:46:45,040 Speaker 2: poor DUIs, and I just shouted from the mountaintops. Well 897 00:46:45,520 --> 00:46:48,720 Speaker 2: that resonated with a few of these guys. One of them, 898 00:46:49,000 --> 00:46:51,960 Speaker 2: one of these guys starts. He sees the address and 899 00:46:51,960 --> 00:46:54,000 Speaker 2: he goes, there's no business name. Where am I taking it? 900 00:46:54,040 --> 00:46:56,400 Speaker 2: So I gotta go do a I think it was 901 00:46:56,440 --> 00:46:58,400 Speaker 2: the pee police. Got to go pee for the morning, 902 00:46:58,440 --> 00:47:01,480 Speaker 2: because you know, I got these du And he pulls 903 00:47:01,560 --> 00:47:03,920 Speaker 2: the car over and I'd shared that I was molested 904 00:47:03,920 --> 00:47:05,840 Speaker 2: as a kid. He pulls his car over and starts crying. 905 00:47:05,920 --> 00:47:08,319 Speaker 2: He's like, my marriage is suffering right now. I don't 906 00:47:08,360 --> 00:47:09,719 Speaker 2: know what's wrong with me. And I said, I got 907 00:47:09,719 --> 00:47:12,080 Speaker 2: a therapist, man, and I got him to my therapist 908 00:47:12,160 --> 00:47:15,839 Speaker 2: and it healed that marriage and he now is one 909 00:47:15,880 --> 00:47:18,919 Speaker 2: of my worship leaders here at the church. The uber 910 00:47:19,040 --> 00:47:21,759 Speaker 2: driver another one is was it? 911 00:47:21,840 --> 00:47:21,920 Speaker 1: So? 912 00:47:22,080 --> 00:47:23,920 Speaker 2: I was at Celebrate recovery across the street from my 913 00:47:23,960 --> 00:47:25,960 Speaker 2: house on a Friday night and I was new on 914 00:47:26,040 --> 00:47:28,560 Speaker 2: my recovery and this uber driver picks me up and 915 00:47:29,160 --> 00:47:31,600 Speaker 2: we're driving home and my house is across the street. 916 00:47:31,719 --> 00:47:33,919 Speaker 2: It's it's a three minute drive, right, you can see 917 00:47:33,960 --> 00:47:37,080 Speaker 2: it from the church. But instead of walking, I called 918 00:47:37,120 --> 00:47:38,600 Speaker 2: for an uber that I think it was really cold 919 00:47:38,680 --> 00:47:41,560 Speaker 2: or something, and a long story short, we end up 920 00:47:41,600 --> 00:47:43,560 Speaker 2: weeping in the car. This guy starts to share his 921 00:47:43,600 --> 00:47:45,759 Speaker 2: dirty laundry with me telling me that he's sober, but 922 00:47:45,840 --> 00:47:48,480 Speaker 2: he's got these things going on it and we cry 923 00:47:48,520 --> 00:47:50,360 Speaker 2: and pray together. That guy is still one of my 924 00:47:50,400 --> 00:47:53,960 Speaker 2: good friends. He comes to the ministry, he's heavily involved 925 00:47:53,960 --> 00:47:57,839 Speaker 2: in recovery. Just a great guy. And there's there's there's 926 00:47:58,080 --> 00:47:59,959 Speaker 2: multiple stories. I don't want to get in that rabbit, 927 00:48:00,280 --> 00:48:03,920 Speaker 2: but there's so many that God said, Hey, I'm gonna 928 00:48:04,000 --> 00:48:06,560 Speaker 2: use you. Just be willing everywhere you go, every person 929 00:48:06,560 --> 00:48:09,719 Speaker 2: you talk to, every situation, throw up what you've been through. 930 00:48:10,080 --> 00:48:12,239 Speaker 2: Do not be shy about it. And that's where the 931 00:48:12,280 --> 00:48:13,879 Speaker 2: recover Loudly piece came from. 932 00:48:14,120 --> 00:48:17,439 Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, so let's let's let's pause there because this 933 00:48:17,520 --> 00:48:22,080 Speaker 1: is a phrase that you know you said, and I've 934 00:48:22,080 --> 00:48:25,560 Speaker 1: heard other variations of it, and I just think it's 935 00:48:25,760 --> 00:48:30,560 Speaker 1: so powerful because the truth is Ian and maybe you 936 00:48:30,600 --> 00:48:32,560 Speaker 1: can speak to this a little bit. Is that, you know, 937 00:48:32,920 --> 00:48:37,719 Speaker 1: in general, I think in in traditional recovery programs, it's 938 00:48:37,760 --> 00:48:41,239 Speaker 1: not it's not about you don't talk about I mean, 939 00:48:41,360 --> 00:48:44,560 Speaker 1: there is that piece of like take this message to others, right, 940 00:48:44,920 --> 00:48:48,319 Speaker 1: but it's kind of like, you know, you're definitely not 941 00:48:48,400 --> 00:48:51,799 Speaker 1: shouting from the rooftops, you know, there's the anonymous part 942 00:48:51,800 --> 00:48:55,440 Speaker 1: of it, right, like you stay anonymous, you're just And 943 00:48:55,640 --> 00:48:59,239 Speaker 1: you have this phrase though that I think is so important. 944 00:48:59,760 --> 00:49:02,000 Speaker 1: Tell tell us that phrase and why it has become 945 00:49:02,040 --> 00:49:04,360 Speaker 1: such a key to your life. 946 00:49:05,120 --> 00:49:10,200 Speaker 2: Well, I had visited many different recovery meetings and none 947 00:49:10,200 --> 00:49:14,800 Speaker 2: of them felt like a true community to me, because 948 00:49:14,880 --> 00:49:18,160 Speaker 2: they were telling me to deny my past, to deny myself. 949 00:49:18,880 --> 00:49:21,560 Speaker 2: And yeah, I should deny myself to Christ, but I 950 00:49:21,560 --> 00:49:23,600 Speaker 2: should never deny what He's done for me, and I 951 00:49:23,640 --> 00:49:25,840 Speaker 2: should never be in shame about what He's brought me 952 00:49:25,880 --> 00:49:28,040 Speaker 2: out of. Yep, it's very clear in the Bible. We 953 00:49:28,080 --> 00:49:30,240 Speaker 2: should be shouting these things from the mountaintops. We should 954 00:49:30,239 --> 00:49:32,920 Speaker 2: be proud of who we are, that our identities in Him, 955 00:49:33,239 --> 00:49:35,319 Speaker 2: and He gave us these stories that we could use them. 956 00:49:36,040 --> 00:49:39,440 Speaker 2: And so I began to pray, like God, what is it? 957 00:49:39,480 --> 00:49:43,200 Speaker 2: What do I need to do? And so it's when 958 00:49:43,200 --> 00:49:46,160 Speaker 2: we recover loud in Christ, we contribute to keeping others 959 00:49:46,160 --> 00:49:50,680 Speaker 2: from dying quietly without Him, not just dying, but dying 960 00:49:50,680 --> 00:49:53,399 Speaker 2: without Jesus. That's the true death we want to help 961 00:49:53,440 --> 00:49:58,520 Speaker 2: people avoid. And so recovering out loud, what does that mean? Well, 962 00:49:59,000 --> 00:50:01,960 Speaker 2: it's pretty soil people. I was so willing to share 963 00:50:02,040 --> 00:50:04,160 Speaker 2: my story everywhere I want, with the Uber drivers, changes 964 00:50:04,239 --> 00:50:07,600 Speaker 2: their lives in jail, change someone's life, changing mind treatment, 965 00:50:07,719 --> 00:50:10,760 Speaker 2: changing people's lives. Just willing to say I've been molested. 966 00:50:10,800 --> 00:50:13,520 Speaker 2: I have four DUIs. I failed. Why did I fail? 967 00:50:13,600 --> 00:50:16,800 Speaker 2: Because I wasn't surrendered to God? What did I change that? Peace? 968 00:50:17,320 --> 00:50:20,360 Speaker 2: And so at the church, you know, this whole ministry 969 00:50:20,920 --> 00:50:24,560 Speaker 2: started with a guy showed up from a treatment center. 970 00:50:24,600 --> 00:50:27,440 Speaker 2: His name is Angel, and he says, you guys have 971 00:50:27,480 --> 00:50:29,560 Speaker 2: a recovery meeting here at the church. And so I 972 00:50:29,600 --> 00:50:31,880 Speaker 2: got into service. When I was broken, I'd show up 973 00:50:31,920 --> 00:50:33,920 Speaker 2: here at the church. I'd sit under the cross and 974 00:50:33,920 --> 00:50:35,560 Speaker 2: I would pray and I would cry, and I would 975 00:50:35,560 --> 00:50:37,600 Speaker 2: pray and I would cry. The pastor would come pray 976 00:50:37,640 --> 00:50:39,319 Speaker 2: over me. The other people would come and pray over me. 977 00:50:39,560 --> 00:50:41,239 Speaker 2: And then once I was done with that, I just 978 00:50:41,280 --> 00:50:44,080 Speaker 2: stayed at church because why no one was serving me alcohol. 979 00:50:44,480 --> 00:50:47,000 Speaker 2: I wasn't tempted to do anything wrong. In fact, I 980 00:50:47,000 --> 00:50:49,319 Speaker 2: was tempted to open up my heart and get to 981 00:50:49,320 --> 00:50:52,279 Speaker 2: know Jesus intimately. And so I began to do that, 982 00:50:52,360 --> 00:50:53,920 Speaker 2: and then I would serve and on Wednesdays. We have 983 00:50:53,960 --> 00:50:56,600 Speaker 2: the midweek meal here that I just served that and 984 00:50:56,640 --> 00:50:58,239 Speaker 2: a guy says, you guys have a treat or a 985 00:50:58,280 --> 00:51:01,000 Speaker 2: recovery program here ministry, and I said, now, we don't. 986 00:51:01,600 --> 00:51:03,680 Speaker 2: Five minutes later, another guy comes up to me. He goes, hey, 987 00:51:03,719 --> 00:51:05,640 Speaker 2: do you guys have a recovery program here? And I 988 00:51:05,719 --> 00:51:09,080 Speaker 2: just I wanted to answer no, like I already had, 989 00:51:09,520 --> 00:51:11,480 Speaker 2: but the words that came out of my mouth were yes, 990 00:51:11,520 --> 00:51:13,200 Speaker 2: we do. It's right up here in this room. It 991 00:51:13,239 --> 00:51:18,120 Speaker 2: starts at six thirty. I'm like, I walked away going, Okay, 992 00:51:18,120 --> 00:51:21,080 Speaker 2: what did I just do? You You don't know what 993 00:51:21,080 --> 00:51:24,319 Speaker 2: you're doing, right, And that's the truth. I don't, but 994 00:51:24,400 --> 00:51:26,440 Speaker 2: God does. And so I went back to the other 995 00:51:26,480 --> 00:51:28,040 Speaker 2: guy and said, hey, we have a meeting tonight. It 996 00:51:28,320 --> 00:51:30,919 Speaker 2: is at six thirty. I apologize. I hope you can come, 997 00:51:30,960 --> 00:51:33,400 Speaker 2: and and then I ran around the church finding people 998 00:51:33,440 --> 00:51:35,279 Speaker 2: and saying, cold, you guys just come, act like we 999 00:51:35,400 --> 00:51:37,640 Speaker 2: have a meeting. And so it was like I think 1000 00:51:37,640 --> 00:51:39,239 Speaker 2: it was like eight of us or six of us. 1001 00:51:39,320 --> 00:51:42,799 Speaker 2: Only three of us are in recovery though, and so 1002 00:51:42,920 --> 00:51:47,799 Speaker 2: that started Restoration Recovery and we've met every single Wednesday 1003 00:51:48,120 --> 00:51:51,560 Speaker 2: for over three and a half years now because of 1004 00:51:51,640 --> 00:51:54,399 Speaker 2: that night and what God did or you know, through 1005 00:51:54,400 --> 00:51:57,560 Speaker 2: the Holy Spirit. You want to see organically, it's not organic, 1006 00:51:57,560 --> 00:52:01,400 Speaker 2: it's the Holy Spirit. And so that little ministry that 1007 00:52:01,480 --> 00:52:04,040 Speaker 2: started with those three people went from room to room 1008 00:52:04,160 --> 00:52:06,359 Speaker 2: started to grow. We'd outgrow a room, next room, I'll 1009 00:52:06,400 --> 00:52:09,719 Speaker 2: grow a room. The church is watching, and I'm still 1010 00:52:09,719 --> 00:52:12,440 Speaker 2: on sabbatical form my advertising job. Right, I'd go have 1011 00:52:12,520 --> 00:52:14,279 Speaker 2: lunch with my buddy. He's like, you're ready to come back. 1012 00:52:14,320 --> 00:52:16,759 Speaker 2: I'm like, I haven't really got the nudge from God yet. 1013 00:52:17,440 --> 00:52:18,600 Speaker 1: How are you making ends meet? 1014 00:52:19,280 --> 00:52:24,480 Speaker 2: My wife had quite a income change at exactly the 1015 00:52:24,520 --> 00:52:29,840 Speaker 2: same time. Imagine that, and I had some money I'd saved. 1016 00:52:29,920 --> 00:52:36,080 Speaker 2: I had the STSI for the first year, and and 1017 00:52:36,160 --> 00:52:38,000 Speaker 2: that was really it. So I know I'm running out 1018 00:52:38,040 --> 00:52:41,480 Speaker 2: of money, no doubt about it. I'm starting to think 1019 00:52:41,520 --> 00:52:44,200 Speaker 2: about selling off some cars or whatever I got to do, right, 1020 00:52:44,560 --> 00:52:47,440 Speaker 2: But it never came to that, Praise the Lord. But 1021 00:52:48,440 --> 00:52:50,640 Speaker 2: as I'm doing this ministry here at the church, they 1022 00:52:50,680 --> 00:52:54,840 Speaker 2: start to really take notice, and they eventually call me 1023 00:52:54,880 --> 00:52:57,279 Speaker 2: in and say, you know, we can't not see what's 1024 00:52:57,320 --> 00:52:59,840 Speaker 2: going on. We would like you to come on staff, 1025 00:53:00,040 --> 00:53:04,759 Speaker 2: but only only for twenty hours and we'll call you 1026 00:53:04,800 --> 00:53:09,359 Speaker 2: the director of recovery. And I said, okay, right, I'm 1027 00:53:09,360 --> 00:53:11,360 Speaker 2: in the business of saying yes. No, I'm not in 1028 00:53:11,400 --> 00:53:14,239 Speaker 2: the business of thinking anymore. If it's from God, I 1029 00:53:14,280 --> 00:53:16,600 Speaker 2: got to say yes. And these things are obviously from God. 1030 00:53:16,840 --> 00:53:18,520 Speaker 1: You know, it's so funny to say that, right, because 1031 00:53:18,520 --> 00:53:20,960 Speaker 1: the fourth step that I talked about in my book, 1032 00:53:21,520 --> 00:53:25,319 Speaker 1: the last step is obedience, right, And it's just like 1033 00:53:25,400 --> 00:53:29,839 Speaker 1: I've been saying yes since I got sober, since I 1034 00:53:29,880 --> 00:53:33,880 Speaker 1: really really turned all of those stones over and turned 1035 00:53:33,920 --> 00:53:37,160 Speaker 1: that stuff and crud over to Jesus. It's like, yeah, 1036 00:53:37,200 --> 00:53:39,640 Speaker 1: I find myself saying yes. I just you know, as 1037 00:53:39,680 --> 00:53:42,319 Speaker 1: we're recording this, I'm doing something where I'm saying yes 1038 00:53:42,360 --> 00:53:45,120 Speaker 1: to the Lord and it makes no sense even and 1039 00:53:45,200 --> 00:53:48,520 Speaker 1: I have no business doing it, right, And I'm just like, 1040 00:53:48,600 --> 00:53:50,600 Speaker 1: but I know that the most peace and calm that 1041 00:53:50,640 --> 00:53:53,680 Speaker 1: I have is saying yes to that, And the most 1042 00:53:53,719 --> 00:53:56,080 Speaker 1: peace and calm I have is saying yes to that, 1043 00:53:56,239 --> 00:54:00,680 Speaker 1: and knowing that I'm walking into something I have no 1044 00:54:00,719 --> 00:54:03,520 Speaker 1: control and none of it's gonna work unless it's without guy, 1045 00:54:03,560 --> 00:54:05,120 Speaker 1: and You're just like, yeah, I'm just gonna say yeah. 1046 00:54:05,320 --> 00:54:07,360 Speaker 1: I'm just gonna say yes, we'll be right back after this. 1047 00:54:10,680 --> 00:54:14,040 Speaker 2: It's it's a shift from those narcissistic traits that I 1048 00:54:14,040 --> 00:54:18,000 Speaker 2: suffered from so deeply, from the self. Just you got 1049 00:54:18,000 --> 00:54:21,319 Speaker 2: to die it self. And that's truly what I've done. 1050 00:54:21,560 --> 00:54:24,160 Speaker 2: And it's a long process. But that's why I go 1051 00:54:24,200 --> 00:54:26,520 Speaker 2: to therapy every Tuesday. That's why I'm in church all 1052 00:54:26,600 --> 00:54:29,160 Speaker 2: day Sunday, not just because I'm a pastor. I serve 1053 00:54:29,200 --> 00:54:31,000 Speaker 2: in the same capacities. When they said, well, now you're 1054 00:54:31,040 --> 00:54:33,160 Speaker 2: on stat I said, no, no, keep it the same, because 1055 00:54:33,360 --> 00:54:36,320 Speaker 2: I need this. I need to serve, and it changes 1056 00:54:36,360 --> 00:54:38,560 Speaker 2: your heart. And when you're serving other people, it's hard 1057 00:54:38,600 --> 00:54:41,400 Speaker 2: not to smile, it's hard to forget about your own problems. 1058 00:54:41,600 --> 00:54:44,000 Speaker 2: It's hard not to just love the fact that you're 1059 00:54:44,040 --> 00:54:46,480 Speaker 2: helping someone else. Wow, look at that, and you can 1060 00:54:46,520 --> 00:54:48,960 Speaker 2: do that in your darkest moments, and that's when you 1061 00:54:49,000 --> 00:54:51,040 Speaker 2: should start doing it, because that's what changed my life. 1062 00:54:51,680 --> 00:54:54,200 Speaker 2: And so this ministry began to go from room to 1063 00:54:54,280 --> 00:54:56,400 Speaker 2: room to room. They bring me on as the director 1064 00:54:56,560 --> 00:54:58,000 Speaker 2: and they said, this is all we're gonna do for 1065 00:54:58,719 --> 00:55:01,840 Speaker 2: one year, which is your title. These are your hours. 1066 00:55:01,880 --> 00:55:06,160 Speaker 2: Here go do it and within two months, they called 1067 00:55:06,160 --> 00:55:08,280 Speaker 2: me in and just said, dude, this thing's out of control. 1068 00:55:08,320 --> 00:55:11,600 Speaker 2: I can't believe how much it's grown. You know, you're 1069 00:55:11,600 --> 00:55:15,080 Speaker 2: shepherding people here at a level unheard of for just 1070 00:55:15,120 --> 00:55:17,440 Speaker 2: somebody so new and so everything. They said, you're a 1071 00:55:17,440 --> 00:55:20,920 Speaker 2: true pastor. That's what a pastor is. And so they 1072 00:55:20,960 --> 00:55:25,040 Speaker 2: brought me on full time as a pastor and was 1073 00:55:25,080 --> 00:55:27,880 Speaker 2: pastor of Recovery. And then I ran our food pantry 1074 00:55:27,920 --> 00:55:31,560 Speaker 2: and our midweek meal plus the recovery ministry. And when 1075 00:55:31,600 --> 00:55:33,640 Speaker 2: I say we have a recovery ministry, it's not just 1076 00:55:34,000 --> 00:55:37,320 Speaker 2: an hour thing. I've got a men's breakfast every Saturday. 1077 00:55:37,440 --> 00:55:40,719 Speaker 2: We give them free food, free breedos, free donuts, free coffee. 1078 00:55:40,840 --> 00:55:43,040 Speaker 2: It's an open share group. It's very intimate, but that 1079 00:55:43,040 --> 00:55:45,480 Speaker 2: thing gets twenty five to thirty men every single Saturday. 1080 00:55:45,920 --> 00:55:49,400 Speaker 2: We have a Monday Night Faithful and True Purity Group 1081 00:55:49,840 --> 00:55:52,560 Speaker 2: that sees six to ten men every Monday, talking about 1082 00:55:52,600 --> 00:55:56,319 Speaker 2: sexual addiction, pornography, everything that goes with that. We have 1083 00:55:56,360 --> 00:55:59,279 Speaker 2: a women's brunch once a month. They meet and they 1084 00:55:59,320 --> 00:56:01,960 Speaker 2: get to break bread and see how everybody's doing and 1085 00:56:02,040 --> 00:56:04,520 Speaker 2: check in. I have a twelve step program for men, 1086 00:56:04,560 --> 00:56:07,479 Speaker 2: a twelve step program for women. I've got one on ones. 1087 00:56:07,520 --> 00:56:10,680 Speaker 2: I do probably ten to fifteen one on ones every 1088 00:56:10,719 --> 00:56:13,200 Speaker 2: single week with men. Right, I lead men, I don't 1089 00:56:13,280 --> 00:56:16,000 Speaker 2: lead women. We have women's pastors for that, and I 1090 00:56:16,040 --> 00:56:18,200 Speaker 2: have women's leaders for that. But I'm very, very cut 1091 00:56:18,239 --> 00:56:20,919 Speaker 2: and dry. And then we've got the Wednesday Night, which 1092 00:56:20,960 --> 00:56:23,440 Speaker 2: is the big ticket item. I call it because I 1093 00:56:23,480 --> 00:56:26,480 Speaker 2: throw a free dinner. It's a catered dinner. And just 1094 00:56:26,520 --> 00:56:28,719 Speaker 2: to give you an idea, last Wednesday, we served the 1095 00:56:28,760 --> 00:56:31,720 Speaker 2: cater tacos. We had the taco guys come make tacos 1096 00:56:31,719 --> 00:56:34,720 Speaker 2: for everybody. We set two hundred and forty five people 1097 00:56:34,920 --> 00:56:37,360 Speaker 2: with live Christmas music playing in front of our Christmas 1098 00:56:37,400 --> 00:56:40,480 Speaker 2: tree outside on the patio with a hot Coco bar 1099 00:56:40,880 --> 00:56:43,920 Speaker 2: once and then photo opportunities. Once that's done, we go 1100 00:56:43,960 --> 00:56:47,239 Speaker 2: into the worship center. We have three worship songs and 1101 00:56:47,280 --> 00:56:54,000 Speaker 2: then a testimony a speaker. I preached on forgiveness December third, 1102 00:56:54,560 --> 00:56:57,360 Speaker 2: which was a powerful message to give. That brought thirty 1103 00:56:57,360 --> 00:57:00,919 Speaker 2: seven people to the altar. So it's it's a true 1104 00:57:00,960 --> 00:57:05,760 Speaker 2: service like it's church. And so the blessing is after 1105 00:57:05,800 --> 00:57:07,719 Speaker 2: that piece of the night is done, we then break 1106 00:57:07,760 --> 00:57:09,759 Speaker 2: off into open chaires. I have a men's open share, 1107 00:57:09,800 --> 00:57:12,840 Speaker 2: a women's open share. I have a family group. And 1108 00:57:12,880 --> 00:57:16,040 Speaker 2: so my wife, who I destroyed so deeply, caused so 1109 00:57:16,120 --> 00:57:20,320 Speaker 2: much PTSD for, she now leads the family group for 1110 00:57:20,360 --> 00:57:22,200 Speaker 2: the people on the other side of addiction that suffered 1111 00:57:22,240 --> 00:57:25,920 Speaker 2: that trauma. That awesome and that group is a powerful group. 1112 00:57:26,280 --> 00:57:28,280 Speaker 2: And so we've watched the group grow. Now we get 1113 00:57:28,280 --> 00:57:31,640 Speaker 2: about one hundred and fifty plus every single Wednesday if 1114 00:57:31,680 --> 00:57:35,280 Speaker 2: I speak, or like my judge. So here's another beautiful thing. 1115 00:57:36,160 --> 00:57:39,240 Speaker 2: So the judge I had in court retired two weeks 1116 00:57:39,280 --> 00:57:43,800 Speaker 2: after I finished the program. What did God have me 1117 00:57:43,840 --> 00:57:46,480 Speaker 2: in that program to do? I believe it was to 1118 00:57:46,560 --> 00:57:49,200 Speaker 2: begin to develop a lack of fear to stand in 1119 00:57:49,240 --> 00:57:51,680 Speaker 2: front of people. Not that I was afraid, but certainly 1120 00:57:51,680 --> 00:57:53,600 Speaker 2: when you're talking about mem molested and I got four 1121 00:57:53,680 --> 00:57:56,120 Speaker 2: duys and all of that ugly, you might be a 1122 00:57:56,160 --> 00:57:57,120 Speaker 2: little apprehensive. 1123 00:57:57,320 --> 00:57:57,880 Speaker 1: Yeah. 1124 00:57:58,360 --> 00:58:01,280 Speaker 2: My final speech to that core room, I turned and 1125 00:58:01,360 --> 00:58:03,440 Speaker 2: instead of speaking to the judge like most people do, 1126 00:58:03,520 --> 00:58:07,720 Speaker 2: I turned to the people that were my fellow DUI 1127 00:58:07,760 --> 00:58:11,640 Speaker 2: and drug drug court people, and I gave them about 1128 00:58:11,640 --> 00:58:15,800 Speaker 2: a three or four minute sermon on what God had 1129 00:58:15,840 --> 00:58:18,040 Speaker 2: done in my life. And that they have a choice 1130 00:58:18,040 --> 00:58:20,800 Speaker 2: to make, and I hope they choose God. And then 1131 00:58:20,800 --> 00:58:25,920 Speaker 2: I turned around, well, Judge Anderson, well let me just 1132 00:58:26,000 --> 00:58:28,360 Speaker 2: say this too. I got called back into court a 1133 00:58:28,400 --> 00:58:30,800 Speaker 2: couple of weeks later by the other judge, the new one, 1134 00:58:30,880 --> 00:58:33,840 Speaker 2: who had only seen me in court one time. It 1135 00:58:33,960 --> 00:58:37,000 Speaker 2: was for the day that I graduated. So he heard 1136 00:58:37,000 --> 00:58:40,080 Speaker 2: my speech and he heard what the judge, Judge Anderson 1137 00:58:40,080 --> 00:58:42,240 Speaker 2: had to say it to me. So I would begin 1138 00:58:42,320 --> 00:58:44,000 Speaker 2: to just go back to that sae. I never broke 1139 00:58:44,040 --> 00:58:46,840 Speaker 2: this habit. I went there every Tuesday to help other people, 1140 00:58:47,320 --> 00:58:48,880 Speaker 2: just to be there, just to sit in court and 1141 00:58:48,880 --> 00:58:51,120 Speaker 2: say I'm a pastor, here's my card. Do you need anything, 1142 00:58:51,160 --> 00:58:53,080 Speaker 2: come to the group. I'll help you. Guys. Well, the 1143 00:58:53,120 --> 00:58:55,120 Speaker 2: other judge saw that, called me into his office and 1144 00:58:55,160 --> 00:58:58,720 Speaker 2: do his chambers, and even a security GUARDI film, you 1145 00:58:58,760 --> 00:59:00,680 Speaker 2: can go. This guy's fine, you can. So it's just 1146 00:59:00,720 --> 00:59:04,040 Speaker 2: me and him and we both sat in there and 1147 00:59:04,080 --> 00:59:07,480 Speaker 2: we laughed and we cried and we prayed. And then 1148 00:59:07,520 --> 00:59:09,919 Speaker 2: he grabbed a book from behind him, a law book, 1149 00:59:09,960 --> 00:59:12,720 Speaker 2: opened it up, and started playing with his computer and said, well, 1150 00:59:12,760 --> 00:59:16,400 Speaker 2: that DUI is off your record for good. Started playing 1151 00:59:16,600 --> 00:59:19,960 Speaker 2: that one's off your record for good and starts playing 1152 00:59:20,000 --> 00:59:22,400 Speaker 2: with it. I'm left with one. If you go to 1153 00:59:22,480 --> 00:59:25,959 Speaker 2: my record now, I've got one on there, and it'll 1154 00:59:26,000 --> 00:59:28,960 Speaker 2: fall off here pretty quickly, out a foo while they're gone. 1155 00:59:29,160 --> 00:59:30,600 Speaker 2: He looked at me, and you know what he said 1156 00:59:30,640 --> 00:59:36,200 Speaker 2: to me, because I wept and it's still still chokes 1157 00:59:36,240 --> 00:59:39,240 Speaker 2: me up. He looked at me and he said, the 1158 00:59:39,320 --> 00:59:41,920 Speaker 2: same way you just shared with me that your God 1159 00:59:42,040 --> 00:59:46,520 Speaker 2: has forgiven you. This court forgives you too. You're forgiven. 1160 00:59:46,600 --> 00:59:51,520 Speaker 2: He keep helping people, keep making a difference in people's 1161 00:59:51,560 --> 00:59:56,840 Speaker 2: lives because you're forgiven, and you've understood that you're forgiven, 1162 00:59:57,160 --> 00:59:59,920 Speaker 2: and not many people get there. So go help you 1163 01:00:00,000 --> 01:00:02,920 Speaker 2: people the way you're hoping. Thank you for what you're doing. 1164 01:00:03,680 --> 01:00:07,240 Speaker 2: And so I walked out of there just flowing like 1165 01:00:07,320 --> 01:00:11,920 Speaker 2: I am now with with true gratitude for what God 1166 01:00:12,000 --> 01:00:15,400 Speaker 2: can do with the surrendered man, or the changes that 1167 01:00:15,440 --> 01:00:19,320 Speaker 2: he can make. And so this ministry that we have 1168 01:00:19,600 --> 01:00:23,960 Speaker 2: here is changing people's lives because we don't recover quietly 1169 01:00:24,000 --> 01:00:27,880 Speaker 2: in a corner this ministry. I've had a sheriff bring 1170 01:00:27,920 --> 01:00:31,680 Speaker 2: me a woman said that can't stop drinking. The sheriff said, 1171 01:00:31,720 --> 01:00:33,520 Speaker 2: we know you're the maybe the one person that can 1172 01:00:33,960 --> 01:00:37,680 Speaker 2: do this in and we're trying to help her. We've 1173 01:00:37,680 --> 01:00:41,920 Speaker 2: had multiple people. I have a pregnancy center come women 1174 01:00:42,160 --> 01:00:46,760 Speaker 2: that stand on stage and say I'm six months pregnant 1175 01:00:46,800 --> 01:00:51,439 Speaker 2: in four days. Sober Wow, Praise the Lord. I pour 1176 01:00:51,480 --> 01:00:53,520 Speaker 2: into them. I just went out to a treatment center 1177 01:00:53,520 --> 01:00:56,320 Speaker 2: in the Canyon on a Tuesday night with my buddy Mike. 1178 01:00:56,440 --> 01:01:00,120 Speaker 2: He's an evangelist. This guy's got a gift, and he 1179 01:01:00,160 --> 01:01:02,320 Speaker 2: invited me to go along with them. Between the two 1180 01:01:02,400 --> 01:01:06,440 Speaker 2: of us, we brought eight women to Christ and baptized 1181 01:01:06,440 --> 01:01:11,919 Speaker 2: ten of them that night in their pool. Right, this 1182 01:01:12,120 --> 01:01:14,800 Speaker 2: ministry is a family. And if you go look at 1183 01:01:14,840 --> 01:01:16,840 Speaker 2: the Instagram you'll see what I'm talking about. If you 1184 01:01:16,840 --> 01:01:19,240 Speaker 2: go to the YouTube channel, you can watch the meetings 1185 01:01:19,240 --> 01:01:21,800 Speaker 2: in the shorts. God has blown both of those things 1186 01:01:21,840 --> 01:01:24,920 Speaker 2: out of the water. That Instagram's over twelve thousand followers. 1187 01:01:25,320 --> 01:01:28,000 Speaker 2: The YouTube channel in two years, it will be two 1188 01:01:28,040 --> 01:01:32,480 Speaker 2: years in February, it's got over ten thousand subscribers. Yeah, 1189 01:01:33,080 --> 01:01:37,240 Speaker 2: it's only God. Only God can do those things. But 1190 01:01:37,280 --> 01:01:40,160 Speaker 2: the content is helping save lives because I get the messages, 1191 01:01:40,680 --> 01:01:42,560 Speaker 2: I get the emails, I get the text, I get 1192 01:01:42,560 --> 01:01:47,960 Speaker 2: the calls and it's unbelievable. And so God has just 1193 01:01:48,000 --> 01:01:52,560 Speaker 2: done a work many I want to say this about 1194 01:01:52,560 --> 01:01:55,160 Speaker 2: my marriage. My wife put up with me and didn't 1195 01:01:55,200 --> 01:01:58,680 Speaker 2: give up. My wife didn't know the Lord the way 1196 01:01:58,720 --> 01:02:02,800 Speaker 2: I know now she can sit. When we first started 1197 01:02:02,840 --> 01:02:04,560 Speaker 2: life groups, she said, I need to get a children's 1198 01:02:04,600 --> 01:02:06,360 Speaker 2: Bible because I don't even know what your guys are 1199 01:02:06,360 --> 01:02:09,520 Speaker 2: talking about. She will answer the questions before everybody else 1200 01:02:09,560 --> 01:02:12,240 Speaker 2: in life group and do it with knowledge and do 1201 01:02:12,360 --> 01:02:16,480 Speaker 2: it with pride. I know God's word. I'm learning God's word. 1202 01:02:16,640 --> 01:02:19,640 Speaker 2: She's part of the women's Bible study. She's really dove 1203 01:02:19,680 --> 01:02:21,760 Speaker 2: in and shepherding women. If I need help, I can 1204 01:02:21,800 --> 01:02:24,960 Speaker 2: hand them to her and trust that. And so I 1205 01:02:24,960 --> 01:02:26,600 Speaker 2: got to give a shout out to my wife and 1206 01:02:26,640 --> 01:02:30,960 Speaker 2: my daughters who still will work in progress. But I 1207 01:02:31,000 --> 01:02:33,760 Speaker 2: am blessed to have two daughters and two granddaughters, and 1208 01:02:34,280 --> 01:02:36,200 Speaker 2: to have a son in law, and to have two 1209 01:02:36,240 --> 01:02:38,760 Speaker 2: parents that never gave up on me, that had to 1210 01:02:39,120 --> 01:02:41,919 Speaker 2: keep boundaries and step back for me, but never ever 1211 01:02:42,120 --> 01:02:44,920 Speaker 2: ever gave up and showed me what it looks like 1212 01:02:45,080 --> 01:02:48,280 Speaker 2: to love like Christ's loves. And same with this church. 1213 01:02:48,360 --> 01:02:51,640 Speaker 2: When I broke instead of telling people, Hey, I'm going 1214 01:02:51,680 --> 01:02:54,280 Speaker 2: on vacation. I said, I'm going to jail. And from 1215 01:02:54,320 --> 01:02:57,160 Speaker 2: the detectives that serve here at the church to the 1216 01:02:57,240 --> 01:03:00,760 Speaker 2: regular people that come, they loved me, prayed for me, 1217 01:03:01,000 --> 01:03:03,200 Speaker 2: encouraged me, and come to find out my parents had 1218 01:03:03,240 --> 01:03:06,160 Speaker 2: talked about me for years in their their church group. 1219 01:03:06,560 --> 01:03:08,760 Speaker 2: Those people said, do you know We've been praying for you? 1220 01:03:08,840 --> 01:03:10,840 Speaker 2: And now look what God's doing with your life. Man. 1221 01:03:11,360 --> 01:03:14,200 Speaker 2: And so as I grow into being able to preach sermons, 1222 01:03:14,480 --> 01:03:18,200 Speaker 2: as I dive into Bible college, taking a little bit 1223 01:03:18,240 --> 01:03:20,040 Speaker 2: here and a little bit there because I'm so busy, 1224 01:03:21,000 --> 01:03:24,720 Speaker 2: God has really done a work, man. Yeah. But it's 1225 01:03:24,880 --> 01:03:29,560 Speaker 2: it's based on one thing, willingness and surrender. That's one 1226 01:03:29,560 --> 01:03:33,000 Speaker 2: piece that should go together. For you. Are you willing 1227 01:03:33,040 --> 01:03:34,840 Speaker 2: and have you surrendered your life? And if you have, 1228 01:03:35,800 --> 01:03:37,440 Speaker 2: get out of the way and watch what God will do. 1229 01:03:37,880 --> 01:03:40,760 Speaker 1: Yeah. So I want to ask you two questions as 1230 01:03:40,760 --> 01:03:43,920 Speaker 1: we wrap up. Here's the first one you talked about. 1231 01:03:44,320 --> 01:03:47,040 Speaker 1: You know, you go to therapy every week, You've been 1232 01:03:47,080 --> 01:03:51,200 Speaker 1: digging in what are as you dig in to those 1233 01:03:51,280 --> 01:03:54,400 Speaker 1: root issues? Right? Because as you know, and as we've 1234 01:03:54,400 --> 01:03:57,960 Speaker 1: talked about, the drinking is the symptom of the problem. Right, 1235 01:03:58,520 --> 01:04:00,640 Speaker 1: it's what you used to cope, right, the drugs, what 1236 01:04:00,760 --> 01:04:04,120 Speaker 1: used to cope the work, same thing. What were those 1237 01:04:04,360 --> 01:04:09,920 Speaker 1: things that you found, you know, that were below the surface, 1238 01:04:10,000 --> 01:04:14,280 Speaker 1: that were really kind of pushing you towards those to 1239 01:04:14,400 --> 01:04:15,240 Speaker 1: cope with those things. 1240 01:04:15,600 --> 01:04:20,160 Speaker 2: That's a good question. I mean the being molested piece 1241 01:04:20,920 --> 01:04:23,000 Speaker 2: that opened up some part of me that had never 1242 01:04:23,200 --> 01:04:27,040 Speaker 2: been ever revealed or anything. Then you have the underlying issues, right, 1243 01:04:27,360 --> 01:04:31,200 Speaker 2: if I'm answering your question correctly, of your marriage and 1244 01:04:31,240 --> 01:04:34,720 Speaker 2: your children and your family, the damage done there and 1245 01:04:34,760 --> 01:04:37,760 Speaker 2: the pain caused there. Yeah, and so I had to 1246 01:04:37,800 --> 01:04:40,960 Speaker 2: address that. Now after I addressed that, and that was 1247 01:04:40,960 --> 01:04:43,920 Speaker 2: a miracle in itself. The first session, I'm at a ten, right, 1248 01:04:44,000 --> 01:04:47,160 Speaker 2: the pain, the anger, the hate. I do one session 1249 01:04:47,560 --> 01:04:49,800 Speaker 2: and it dissipates a little after about two months, you 1250 01:04:49,800 --> 01:04:51,560 Speaker 2: would ask me, and I'm now I'm going to find it. 1251 01:04:51,600 --> 01:04:54,440 Speaker 2: I'm looking up to the left searching for that trauma 1252 01:04:54,560 --> 01:04:58,280 Speaker 2: that had nearly caused me my life. Yeah. Right, So 1253 01:04:58,320 --> 01:05:01,560 Speaker 2: there's healing that's been done. I think part of this 1254 01:05:01,800 --> 01:05:04,360 Speaker 2: beauty in the God that we love and the God 1255 01:05:04,360 --> 01:05:07,000 Speaker 2: that we serve, and the God that we have. We 1256 01:05:07,320 --> 01:05:09,240 Speaker 2: don't have to walk through all of it or remember 1257 01:05:09,280 --> 01:05:12,280 Speaker 2: it all. I think he protects us from some of 1258 01:05:12,320 --> 01:05:14,800 Speaker 2: it and says, you don't need to go there. So 1259 01:05:14,880 --> 01:05:16,680 Speaker 2: I'm just going to take that piece from you and 1260 01:05:16,720 --> 01:05:19,320 Speaker 2: heal it. You're not going to live there. So he 1261 01:05:19,360 --> 01:05:22,080 Speaker 2: starts to heal some of these other things around us, 1262 01:05:22,560 --> 01:05:24,439 Speaker 2: in us that have happened to us that I don't 1263 01:05:24,440 --> 01:05:26,200 Speaker 2: even remember. I don't remember a lot of my childhood. 1264 01:05:26,800 --> 01:05:28,520 Speaker 2: I don't remember, and I don't think he needs me to. 1265 01:05:29,280 --> 01:05:31,480 Speaker 2: I think he says, when you look at your childhood, 1266 01:05:31,560 --> 01:05:33,520 Speaker 2: you played soccer and you went to church, good for you. 1267 01:05:33,840 --> 01:05:35,960 Speaker 2: I don't think I remember some of the abuse and 1268 01:05:36,000 --> 01:05:39,720 Speaker 2: some of those other things in the way that maybe 1269 01:05:40,360 --> 01:05:42,800 Speaker 2: some people have to. He didn't have to do that 1270 01:05:42,840 --> 01:05:44,240 Speaker 2: to me. So I think he takes some of these 1271 01:05:44,240 --> 01:05:46,280 Speaker 2: things and said, you don't need to suffer with this. 1272 01:05:47,280 --> 01:05:51,000 Speaker 2: I got you, my child, You've suffered enough. We go 1273 01:05:51,080 --> 01:05:54,520 Speaker 2: through these things that and I think. 1274 01:05:56,080 --> 01:05:59,640 Speaker 1: You know that create patterns of escapism, right, that was 1275 01:05:59,640 --> 01:06:02,640 Speaker 1: the thing for me, right, being molested as a child 1276 01:06:02,720 --> 01:06:05,560 Speaker 1: as well. Right, I just wanted to escape everything, right, 1277 01:06:05,640 --> 01:06:07,800 Speaker 1: I just I didn't know how to sit with things 1278 01:06:07,840 --> 01:06:10,200 Speaker 1: that were uncomfortable, because that's six. You don't know how 1279 01:06:10,200 --> 01:06:11,520 Speaker 1: to make sense of that. You don't know how to 1280 01:06:11,560 --> 01:06:14,200 Speaker 1: sit with something that's uncomfortable, you know. And so I've 1281 01:06:14,240 --> 01:06:16,840 Speaker 1: said this a lot on this podcast, but so that's six, 1282 01:06:16,880 --> 01:06:19,960 Speaker 1: it's it's Tonka, toys and Barney, and at thirty six 1283 01:06:20,000 --> 01:06:22,919 Speaker 1: it's tequila and bourbon. Right, yes, because it's like when 1284 01:06:22,960 --> 01:06:26,720 Speaker 1: then you encounter something that you don't want to deal with, 1285 01:06:26,840 --> 01:06:32,160 Speaker 1: you just learned to numb it. Right. My last question 1286 01:06:32,280 --> 01:06:36,720 Speaker 1: is this, there's someone who's listening to this who sees 1287 01:06:36,800 --> 01:06:41,240 Speaker 1: himself in your story my hunches. There's more than one. 1288 01:06:41,440 --> 01:06:45,480 Speaker 1: But what do you say to that person who is like, okay, 1289 01:06:45,960 --> 01:06:47,080 Speaker 1: all right, Ian, I'm you. 1290 01:06:48,560 --> 01:06:49,440 Speaker 2: What do I do? 1291 01:06:49,960 --> 01:06:53,040 Speaker 1: Where do I go? Where do I go from here? 1292 01:06:54,520 --> 01:06:57,320 Speaker 2: Well, my first question is gino the Lord? Are you 1293 01:06:57,360 --> 01:07:00,919 Speaker 2: a believer? Have you received Jesus in your life? That's it, 1294 01:07:01,440 --> 01:07:03,840 Speaker 2: that's where it's got to start. And if your answer 1295 01:07:03,880 --> 01:07:06,360 Speaker 2: is I don't know them, well let's go. Let me 1296 01:07:06,400 --> 01:07:08,520 Speaker 2: get you to them and then from there we'll build 1297 01:07:08,520 --> 01:07:13,840 Speaker 2: a plant together. Right. You need Christ centered everything, that's 1298 01:07:13,880 --> 01:07:16,840 Speaker 2: the thing. AA is great, but I didn't want to 1299 01:07:16,880 --> 01:07:20,040 Speaker 2: be sober. I want to I want to be free. 1300 01:07:20,880 --> 01:07:23,600 Speaker 2: True freedom is only found in Jesus Christ. There's no 1301 01:07:23,600 --> 01:07:29,480 Speaker 2: nowhere else, nowhere else, and I would I would plug 1302 01:07:29,520 --> 01:07:30,880 Speaker 2: them in. You know, I have a lot of people 1303 01:07:30,880 --> 01:07:33,280 Speaker 2: that come here. They're from treatment centers all around the city. 1304 01:07:33,280 --> 01:07:35,440 Speaker 2: I've gone and made these connections and they have to 1305 01:07:35,520 --> 01:07:37,840 Speaker 2: go home eventually. But you know, when they go home, 1306 01:07:38,040 --> 01:07:40,439 Speaker 2: they're going home with a church that I found for them, 1307 01:07:40,840 --> 01:07:43,240 Speaker 2: with a connection there at that church with their Christ 1308 01:07:43,320 --> 01:07:45,480 Speaker 2: Centered Recovery ministry if there's one in that area, and 1309 01:07:45,520 --> 01:07:48,160 Speaker 2: if not, they'll watch us on our YouTube channel because 1310 01:07:48,160 --> 01:07:52,120 Speaker 2: they're part of our family too. Right. And but that's 1311 01:07:52,320 --> 01:07:54,200 Speaker 2: the first thing is do you know Jesus? And if 1312 01:07:54,240 --> 01:07:57,800 Speaker 2: you do, let's go what's keeping you from living out 1313 01:07:57,800 --> 01:08:00,120 Speaker 2: your faith and healing. But you've got to get to 1314 01:08:00,160 --> 01:08:02,880 Speaker 2: your why. So once I discover do you know Jesus 1315 01:08:03,000 --> 01:08:04,800 Speaker 2: or not, I'll get him to Jesus as soon as 1316 01:08:04,840 --> 01:08:06,840 Speaker 2: that's done. We got to get to your why. Do 1317 01:08:06,920 --> 01:08:10,600 Speaker 2: you know the deepest, darkest reason why you behave the 1318 01:08:10,640 --> 01:08:13,320 Speaker 2: way you behave? Are you still seeking that? If you're 1319 01:08:13,360 --> 01:08:16,680 Speaker 2: seeking it, I have a chrizy centered therapist. Let's go 1320 01:08:17,479 --> 01:08:19,960 Speaker 2: right and we'll go from there. But we got to 1321 01:08:19,960 --> 01:08:23,240 Speaker 2: put down the substance. You got to set down the bottle, 1322 01:08:23,320 --> 01:08:27,600 Speaker 2: pick up the Bible. You got to You've got to 1323 01:08:27,640 --> 01:08:31,080 Speaker 2: turn to Jesus. And the only way is to pray 1324 01:08:31,120 --> 01:08:34,480 Speaker 2: to him, open his word, live in him, live in gratitude. 1325 01:08:34,520 --> 01:08:36,400 Speaker 2: I wake up every morning and I think him, you 1326 01:08:36,400 --> 01:08:37,960 Speaker 2: know where you know what? I know my car's in 1327 01:08:38,000 --> 01:08:40,960 Speaker 2: the garage. And I didn't text any random crazy people. 1328 01:08:41,479 --> 01:08:43,920 Speaker 2: I know that every morning. So I got two things 1329 01:08:43,920 --> 01:08:46,320 Speaker 2: I can be grateful for right out the gate, well 1330 01:08:46,360 --> 01:08:49,400 Speaker 2: my feet hit the floor. But living in gratitude, waking 1331 01:08:49,479 --> 01:08:51,640 Speaker 2: up and saying thank you Jesus for another day, that 1332 01:08:51,760 --> 01:08:53,960 Speaker 2: my wife and I have worked this out, that my 1333 01:08:54,040 --> 01:08:55,800 Speaker 2: kids and I are healing, that my parents and I 1334 01:08:55,800 --> 01:08:58,320 Speaker 2: have worked through everything that I have, That I have 1335 01:08:58,320 --> 01:09:00,760 Speaker 2: a church that asked me to be a pastor. Yeah, 1336 01:09:00,840 --> 01:09:03,040 Speaker 2: that I God, they heard your call too from my 1337 01:09:03,120 --> 01:09:06,920 Speaker 2: life and let's go. And they showed me how to 1338 01:09:06,960 --> 01:09:10,800 Speaker 2: love people unconditionally. And it's changed the landscape of this 1339 01:09:10,960 --> 01:09:14,920 Speaker 2: church wholeheartedly. You know, back in twenty nineteen, when I 1340 01:09:14,960 --> 01:09:17,000 Speaker 2: first started coming, we were at about four hun and fifty people. 1341 01:09:17,000 --> 01:09:20,160 Speaker 2: We had over one thousand. Now every Sunday or every week. Roughly, 1342 01:09:20,560 --> 01:09:22,800 Speaker 2: you know that consider themselves. They don't all come to 1343 01:09:22,880 --> 01:09:25,600 Speaker 2: church on Sunday, but about three quarters of them do. 1344 01:09:26,439 --> 01:09:29,720 Speaker 2: So you're looking at double growth right there. And you know, 1345 01:09:29,800 --> 01:09:33,479 Speaker 2: Jack Hibbs says something pretty powerful if your relationship with Jesus, 1346 01:09:33,560 --> 01:09:35,720 Speaker 2: let's say you figured it out, you're walking with God, 1347 01:09:35,760 --> 01:09:38,080 Speaker 2: but you've gotten stagnant, and now you're starting to have 1348 01:09:38,200 --> 01:09:40,320 Speaker 2: those thoughts again about maybe I should just have a drink. 1349 01:09:40,360 --> 01:09:43,439 Speaker 2: I could have one drink. Listen to me, you're getting 1350 01:09:43,479 --> 01:09:45,920 Speaker 2: stagnant in your walk with the Lord. Jack Hibbs says 1351 01:09:45,960 --> 01:09:49,280 Speaker 2: that if you're getting stagnant, find somebody in recovery and 1352 01:09:49,360 --> 01:09:51,599 Speaker 2: latch onto them because they're gonna They're gonna take you higher. 1353 01:09:51,600 --> 01:09:53,680 Speaker 2: I'm not quoting that verbatim, but it was something to 1354 01:09:53,720 --> 01:09:56,559 Speaker 2: that effect. Why because if you come to our church, 1355 01:09:56,800 --> 01:09:59,640 Speaker 2: part rows all recovery people, their hands are higher than 1356 01:09:59,640 --> 01:10:01,960 Speaker 2: anybody else. Is half of them are on their knees. 1357 01:10:02,320 --> 01:10:06,640 Speaker 2: Why because God has delivered them, Yes, delivered them, and 1358 01:10:06,680 --> 01:10:08,920 Speaker 2: He can deliver you too. And so that would be 1359 01:10:09,000 --> 01:10:10,080 Speaker 2: my plea to that person. 1360 01:10:10,600 --> 01:10:13,120 Speaker 1: I've been saying this that you know we talk about 1361 01:10:13,160 --> 01:10:16,080 Speaker 1: in the in the Christian community, you know, wanting revival 1362 01:10:16,200 --> 01:10:18,920 Speaker 1: and whatnot. And you know, God can work in variety 1363 01:10:18,960 --> 01:10:22,240 Speaker 1: of ways, but I am more and more convinced that 1364 01:10:22,439 --> 01:10:25,720 Speaker 1: one of the most direct ways to revival is if 1365 01:10:25,760 --> 01:10:31,840 Speaker 1: every single church in this country would invest in a 1366 01:10:31,960 --> 01:10:35,280 Speaker 1: gospel centered recovery ministry. It's a very important thing, right, 1367 01:10:35,360 --> 01:10:38,720 Speaker 1: That's a very important qualifier. You've said it, I've said it. 1368 01:10:38,880 --> 01:10:42,040 Speaker 1: There are recovery ministries, but I'm saying a gospel centered 1369 01:10:42,439 --> 01:10:48,599 Speaker 1: recovery ministry because the people who reach rock bottom and 1370 01:10:48,680 --> 01:10:51,160 Speaker 1: have nothing and realize they have nothing to hold on to. 1371 01:10:51,280 --> 01:10:55,320 Speaker 1: But Jesus are going to be some of your biggest 1372 01:10:55,760 --> 01:10:59,840 Speaker 1: and best advocates for what Jesus can do to a 1373 01:10:59,840 --> 01:11:04,800 Speaker 1: community into a person. So I love that man. You know. 1374 01:11:04,840 --> 01:11:08,759 Speaker 2: One more thing on that community piece. Yeah, the guys 1375 01:11:08,760 --> 01:11:11,400 Speaker 2: that come to recovery in the gals the congregation on 1376 01:11:11,439 --> 01:11:14,960 Speaker 2: Wednesday nights every single Wednesday. Invite them to everything we 1377 01:11:15,040 --> 01:11:16,760 Speaker 2: do as a church, and I remind them you're not 1378 01:11:16,960 --> 01:11:19,920 Speaker 2: part of a recovery ministry, You're part of a church body. Yeah, 1379 01:11:20,479 --> 01:11:23,439 Speaker 2: And because of that, we've seen great success in their 1380 01:11:23,479 --> 01:11:27,160 Speaker 2: lives being transformed in Christ. Because they're plugged in in 1381 01:11:27,200 --> 01:11:28,760 Speaker 2: the church, they're in life groups. They're going to the 1382 01:11:28,760 --> 01:11:32,439 Speaker 2: men's ministry, the women's ministry, they're serving in different places. 1383 01:11:32,560 --> 01:11:34,280 Speaker 2: We have a treatment center down the street called the 1384 01:11:34,320 --> 01:11:37,240 Speaker 2: four four nine. Three of my top people came from them. 1385 01:11:38,040 --> 01:11:41,759 Speaker 2: And so there's a huge success rate that is proven. 1386 01:11:42,280 --> 01:11:45,960 Speaker 2: If you walk with Jesus and do recovery that's Christ centered, 1387 01:11:46,200 --> 01:11:49,120 Speaker 2: and get plugged in in a church, your chances of 1388 01:11:49,160 --> 01:11:53,320 Speaker 2: success go through the roof because you're doing all the 1389 01:11:53,360 --> 01:11:55,880 Speaker 2: things that He asked us to do in the Bible. 1390 01:11:55,920 --> 01:11:58,519 Speaker 2: It's all biblical. It's not from another book, it's from 1391 01:11:58,600 --> 01:12:02,320 Speaker 2: His word. And so and if you're spiritually poor, man 1392 01:12:02,360 --> 01:12:04,439 Speaker 2: he talks about that. I think it's Matthew like five 1393 01:12:04,600 --> 01:12:09,160 Speaker 2: three you're spiritually poor. That's that's that's the beginning, right, 1394 01:12:09,200 --> 01:12:12,280 Speaker 2: it's the beginning of recovery. You're obviously spiritually poor. So 1395 01:12:12,560 --> 01:12:14,479 Speaker 2: let's get let's get rich in Christ. How do you 1396 01:12:14,479 --> 01:12:16,639 Speaker 2: do that? Read your Bible, pray, open as word, get 1397 01:12:16,680 --> 01:12:19,240 Speaker 2: on your knees, and live in gratitude and recover loudly 1398 01:12:19,280 --> 01:12:20,160 Speaker 2: in Christ. 1399 01:12:20,360 --> 01:12:22,880 Speaker 1: And it's not you know, I when when I ask about, like, 1400 01:12:22,960 --> 01:12:25,080 Speaker 1: what what should people do who are listening to this, 1401 01:12:25,240 --> 01:12:29,000 Speaker 1: it is not I came from a church background where 1402 01:12:29,160 --> 01:12:31,479 Speaker 1: saying things like well read your Bible, pray more was 1403 01:12:31,520 --> 01:12:36,799 Speaker 1: a trite platitude when it comes from people like Ian, Okay, 1404 01:12:37,160 --> 01:12:39,519 Speaker 1: it is not a trite platitude. It is not a 1405 01:12:39,560 --> 01:12:41,800 Speaker 1: band aid. It is not a I don't really want 1406 01:12:41,840 --> 01:12:44,759 Speaker 1: to sit with you, or yeah, you know, just just 1407 01:12:44,760 --> 01:12:47,760 Speaker 1: just focus on Jesus. No, and I can walk you 1408 01:12:47,800 --> 01:12:49,439 Speaker 1: through it, and Ian can walk you through it. But 1409 01:12:49,520 --> 01:12:53,559 Speaker 1: what that actually practically looks like abiding in Christ? Right 1410 01:12:53,960 --> 01:12:58,240 Speaker 1: that it seems so simple, Well just try it, you know, 1411 01:12:58,479 --> 01:13:02,400 Speaker 1: like it it will if you If you think it's 1412 01:13:02,400 --> 01:13:04,479 Speaker 1: too simple, just try it. If you think it's too hard, 1413 01:13:04,720 --> 01:13:07,040 Speaker 1: just try it, because it's simpler than you think and 1414 01:13:07,080 --> 01:13:10,160 Speaker 1: it's harder than you think. Right, And in that is 1415 01:13:10,200 --> 01:13:14,960 Speaker 1: this this, this, this gateway endore to freedom that I 1416 01:13:15,040 --> 01:13:17,599 Speaker 1: have found and that Ian is found. And so when 1417 01:13:17,640 --> 01:13:20,160 Speaker 1: we talk about abiding in Christ, when we talk about 1418 01:13:20,200 --> 01:13:23,519 Speaker 1: shooting for Jesus and gating recovery thrown in, we're not listen. 1419 01:13:23,640 --> 01:13:26,960 Speaker 1: We're not saying don't be discipled. We're not saying, you know, 1420 01:13:27,000 --> 01:13:29,599 Speaker 1: Ian has twelve step programs. Right, the twelve steps when 1421 01:13:29,680 --> 01:13:34,360 Speaker 1: viewed through a Christian lens and viewed through the vision 1422 01:13:34,800 --> 01:13:39,840 Speaker 1: of discipleship and redeeming them can be great, right, but 1423 01:13:39,960 --> 01:13:43,200 Speaker 1: shoot for Jesus. And it's it's not just a throwaway 1424 01:13:43,200 --> 01:13:43,599 Speaker 1: try thing. 1425 01:13:43,760 --> 01:13:44,000 Speaker 2: Ian. 1426 01:13:44,439 --> 01:13:49,799 Speaker 1: If people want to watch your Wednesday Night Recovery uh 1427 01:13:49,840 --> 01:13:53,200 Speaker 1: sermons and group, if they want to follow you, where 1428 01:13:53,280 --> 01:13:53,840 Speaker 1: can they go? 1429 01:13:54,280 --> 01:13:59,680 Speaker 2: So YouTube is at Restoration Recovery. It's r R at 1430 01:13:59,720 --> 01:14:03,639 Speaker 2: Risk Station Recovery on YouTube, and then Instagram is at 1431 01:14:03,760 --> 01:14:11,160 Speaker 2: Restoration Recovery dot m HC. Check it out. Let me 1432 01:14:11,160 --> 01:14:13,800 Speaker 2: know what you guys think, shoot me messages. I'm pretty 1433 01:14:13,840 --> 01:14:18,040 Speaker 2: good about responding. And again, man, we got to recover 1434 01:14:18,160 --> 01:14:21,680 Speaker 2: loudly because otherwise people die without Jesus and that's just 1435 01:14:21,720 --> 01:14:24,599 Speaker 2: not okay. And so no anonymity here. 1436 01:14:25,080 --> 01:14:25,400 Speaker 1: Amen. 1437 01:14:26,479 --> 01:14:29,479 Speaker 2: Ever, I'm proud of who I am in Christ yep. 1438 01:14:29,520 --> 01:14:32,559 Speaker 1: And it's it's not about sobriety. Sobriety is great. I 1439 01:14:32,600 --> 01:14:34,360 Speaker 1: want you to be sober. It's not my ultimate goal 1440 01:14:34,400 --> 01:14:36,880 Speaker 1: for you. It's not ian Ian. Thank you so much. 1441 01:14:36,920 --> 01:14:39,360 Speaker 1: I can't wait. We've talked about it, but I can't 1442 01:14:39,360 --> 01:14:42,320 Speaker 1: wait to be out there in California with you. It's like, 1443 01:14:42,600 --> 01:14:46,400 Speaker 1: you know, there are certain like places and people on 1444 01:14:46,439 --> 01:14:48,800 Speaker 1: the top of my list that like, man, you know, 1445 01:14:50,080 --> 01:14:52,719 Speaker 1: I could get it invited to speak at the Passion Conference, 1446 01:14:52,760 --> 01:14:54,160 Speaker 1: and I'm like, but can I can? I go to 1447 01:14:54,240 --> 01:14:56,920 Speaker 1: Mission Hills first, Like, that's where I really want to go. 1448 01:14:57,040 --> 01:14:59,320 Speaker 1: So man, I can't wait to be out there and 1449 01:14:59,360 --> 01:15:01,720 Speaker 1: hug your neck and person and meet these people. So 1450 01:15:02,160 --> 01:15:04,000 Speaker 1: love you, brother, We'll talk soon. We'll have to have 1451 01:15:04,080 --> 01:15:04,559 Speaker 1: you on again. 1452 01:15:05,040 --> 01:15:07,240 Speaker 2: John, Thanks for all you do for the community and 1453 01:15:07,400 --> 01:15:08,160 Speaker 2: God bless man. 1454 01:15:08,280 --> 01:15:11,760 Speaker 1: Love you, bro, Thank you. You know I love that 1455 01:15:11,880 --> 01:15:14,160 Speaker 1: quote for me and I've used it. You might see 1456 01:15:14,160 --> 01:15:18,960 Speaker 1: a version of it on Veritosrecovery dot org. But the 1457 01:15:19,120 --> 01:15:25,960 Speaker 1: idea of recovering loudly in Christ so that others don't 1458 01:15:26,200 --> 01:15:31,360 Speaker 1: die quietly without him, and it's just it's a drum 1459 01:15:31,520 --> 01:15:36,760 Speaker 1: I'm going to continue to bang on all day. I 1460 01:15:36,920 --> 01:15:41,760 Speaker 1: don't just want sober people. I want people who have 1461 01:15:41,800 --> 01:15:45,720 Speaker 1: the most flourishing, fulfilled life now and in eternity. And 1462 01:15:45,920 --> 01:15:50,960 Speaker 1: as a Christian, I know that that is found in Christ. 1463 01:15:51,160 --> 01:15:54,960 Speaker 1: And so you know, you just think back to Ian's 1464 01:15:55,000 --> 01:15:57,000 Speaker 1: story and there's a lot in there that's hard to 1465 01:15:57,040 --> 01:15:59,640 Speaker 1: talk about, right, I mean there's you know, not just 1466 01:15:59,720 --> 01:16:03,160 Speaker 1: you know the DUIs, but you talk about the trauma, right, 1467 01:16:03,200 --> 01:16:06,679 Speaker 1: you talk about what was done to him by his neighbor, 1468 01:16:06,720 --> 01:16:09,120 Speaker 1: and he's like, listen, I'm going to talk about it, right. 1469 01:16:09,600 --> 01:16:13,840 Speaker 1: And I think so many of us want to just 1470 01:16:13,920 --> 01:16:19,000 Speaker 1: kind of wall ourselves off and not let others into 1471 01:16:19,240 --> 01:16:23,800 Speaker 1: what's going on. What's gone on, and what Ian has 1472 01:16:23,800 --> 01:16:28,920 Speaker 1: found is the truth and that truth of recovering loudly 1473 01:16:28,960 --> 01:16:33,200 Speaker 1: in Christ so others don't die quietly without him. I 1474 01:16:33,240 --> 01:16:35,240 Speaker 1: love Ian, He's a dear brother. He just like sends 1475 01:16:35,280 --> 01:16:40,880 Speaker 1: me random encouraging texts and I'm just I just can't wait. 1476 01:16:41,160 --> 01:16:43,960 Speaker 1: We've been trying to find dates for me to go 1477 01:16:44,040 --> 01:16:47,760 Speaker 1: out there and spend some time with restoration recovery and 1478 01:16:47,800 --> 01:16:50,519 Speaker 1: what he's doing. And you know, I'll be sure to 1479 01:16:50,920 --> 01:16:54,160 Speaker 1: court a lot of video and take pictures and you 1480 01:16:54,160 --> 01:16:57,680 Speaker 1: guys will all come along for the ride. Thank you 1481 01:16:57,800 --> 01:17:01,800 Speaker 1: to our partner Life Audio who continues to make this 1482 01:17:02,000 --> 01:17:06,439 Speaker 1: podcast possible. Just so grateful for them. Thank you to 1483 01:17:06,640 --> 01:17:10,280 Speaker 1: the Life Recovery Bible for sponsoring as well. If you 1484 01:17:10,920 --> 01:17:13,479 Speaker 1: would like to pick up a copy of The Life 1485 01:17:13,520 --> 01:17:17,080 Speaker 1: Recovery Bible, just follow the link in the show notes. 1486 01:17:17,800 --> 01:17:21,559 Speaker 1: Love you all, We'll see you back here again next week.