1 00:00:02,720 --> 00:00:08,240 Speaker 1: Life Audio. Most of us don't wake up intending to 2 00:00:08,320 --> 00:00:11,720 Speaker 1: lead from anxiety, and yet, if we're honest, many of 3 00:00:11,800 --> 00:00:15,160 Speaker 1: us do. We lead with a tight jaw or a 4 00:00:15,280 --> 00:00:19,800 Speaker 1: hurried pace, carrying a quiet sense that too much depends 5 00:00:19,920 --> 00:00:23,720 Speaker 1: on us. We feel the weight of outcomes, the fear 6 00:00:23,720 --> 00:00:27,360 Speaker 1: of missteps, and the pressure to hold things together in 7 00:00:27,400 --> 00:00:31,600 Speaker 1: a world that feels anything but steady. I'm Alan Faddling, 8 00:00:31,600 --> 00:00:34,559 Speaker 1: and you're listening to the Unhurried Living podcast, where we 9 00:00:34,680 --> 00:00:38,720 Speaker 1: inspire you to rest deeper, live fuller, and lead better. 10 00:00:39,840 --> 00:00:43,720 Speaker 1: What if peace isn't something we finally reach once things 11 00:00:43,840 --> 00:00:47,760 Speaker 1: calm down. What if peace is something we learn to 12 00:00:47,880 --> 00:00:52,960 Speaker 1: receive and lead from right in the middle of troubling times. 13 00:00:53,760 --> 00:00:56,880 Speaker 1: After a word from our sponsor, I'll move into our 14 00:00:57,000 --> 00:01:09,360 Speaker 1: theme for today. February marks two years since An Non 15 00:01:09,400 --> 00:01:12,920 Speaker 1: Anxious Life was published. When I look back, what stays 16 00:01:12,959 --> 00:01:15,680 Speaker 1: with me most isn't the book itself so much as 17 00:01:15,680 --> 00:01:21,039 Speaker 1: the conversations it has opened with pastors, leaders, caregivers, and 18 00:01:21,240 --> 00:01:25,400 Speaker 1: fellow travelers who are honest enough to say I didn't 19 00:01:25,560 --> 00:01:29,240 Speaker 1: realize how much anxiety was shaping the way I lead. 20 00:01:30,040 --> 00:01:34,800 Speaker 1: That realization is not a failure. Often it's the beginning 21 00:01:35,040 --> 00:01:40,679 Speaker 1: of freedom. We are presently living and leading in troubling times. 22 00:01:41,400 --> 00:01:47,720 Speaker 1: Our days are marked by cultural tension, institutional fatigue, relational fracture, 23 00:01:48,280 --> 00:01:53,640 Speaker 1: spiritual exhaustion. Many leaders today are no longer asking whether 24 00:01:53,760 --> 00:01:57,400 Speaker 1: anxiety is present in their lives. But they're asking is 25 00:01:57,440 --> 00:02:01,920 Speaker 1: whether it's possible to lead faithfully without being quietly driven 26 00:02:02,360 --> 00:02:07,840 Speaker 1: by anxiety. Jesus was remarkably honest about the world we 27 00:02:07,880 --> 00:02:12,240 Speaker 1: inhabit on the night before his arrest, speaking to his 28 00:02:12,360 --> 00:02:16,880 Speaker 1: closest friends. He didn't promise that things would get soon easier. 29 00:02:17,600 --> 00:02:22,160 Speaker 1: He acknowledged that trouble would be part of their lived reality. 30 00:02:22,320 --> 00:02:25,840 Speaker 1: And yet in the same breath he spoke of peace 31 00:02:26,200 --> 00:02:30,680 Speaker 1: not as denial, not as wishful thinking, but has something 32 00:02:30,800 --> 00:02:36,960 Speaker 1: rooted in relationship with him. That distinction matters, especially for leaders. 33 00:02:38,040 --> 00:02:42,280 Speaker 1: Many of us keep searching for peace in resolution. You know, 34 00:02:42,520 --> 00:02:46,880 Speaker 1: once this conflict settles, once this season passes, once this 35 00:02:47,080 --> 00:02:52,760 Speaker 1: decision is behind us. But peace that depends on circumstances 36 00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:58,880 Speaker 1: cooperating is fragile. New problems arrive faster than the old 37 00:02:58,919 --> 00:03:03,840 Speaker 1: ones resolve, and when our inner steadiness depends on outer stability, 38 00:03:04,320 --> 00:03:10,160 Speaker 1: we remain perpetually vulnerable. You see, what Jesus offers is 39 00:03:10,280 --> 00:03:16,400 Speaker 1: something sturdier. His peace is not situational, It is relational. 40 00:03:16,840 --> 00:03:22,240 Speaker 1: It flows from communion, not control. Over the years, both 41 00:03:22,320 --> 00:03:26,040 Speaker 1: as a spiritual director and as someone who trains leaders, 42 00:03:26,360 --> 00:03:32,680 Speaker 1: I've noticed a consistent pattern. Anxiety becomes most influential when 43 00:03:32,800 --> 00:03:40,000 Speaker 1: leaders confuse responsibility with sovereignty. We try to carry out 44 00:03:40,520 --> 00:03:45,480 Speaker 1: what only God can do. We attempt to manage outcomes 45 00:03:45,480 --> 00:03:49,360 Speaker 1: that God has not entrusted to our care, and slowly, 46 00:03:49,800 --> 00:03:56,160 Speaker 1: often invisibly, our inner world heightens. One of the most 47 00:03:56,440 --> 00:04:02,520 Speaker 1: freeing shifts I've learned is this does not require the 48 00:04:02,720 --> 00:04:09,280 Speaker 1: absence of anxious feelings. It requires that anxious feelings no 49 00:04:09,360 --> 00:04:14,960 Speaker 1: longer take the lead. For many of us, anxiety began, 50 00:04:15,680 --> 00:04:19,840 Speaker 1: perhaps early on, as an attempt to take care of ourselves. 51 00:04:20,080 --> 00:04:24,279 Speaker 1: It was a way, however, limited of staying safe, prepared, 52 00:04:24,760 --> 00:04:29,000 Speaker 1: and ahead of what might go wrong. The problem isn't 53 00:04:29,040 --> 00:04:34,520 Speaker 1: that anxiety exists. The problem is when it takes the wheel, 54 00:04:34,680 --> 00:04:38,799 Speaker 1: When it sets the pace, shapes, the tone, drives the urgency, 55 00:04:39,560 --> 00:04:45,000 Speaker 1: and then leaves us depleted. A counselor once said something 56 00:04:45,080 --> 00:04:48,920 Speaker 1: to me, I've never forgotten you don't need to get 57 00:04:49,000 --> 00:04:53,320 Speaker 1: rid of your anxiety, Allen, you need to relocate it, 58 00:04:54,240 --> 00:04:58,120 Speaker 1: not in the driver's seat and not locked in the trunk, 59 00:04:58,960 --> 00:05:05,320 Speaker 1: but acknowledged and named and seated in the back. You see, 60 00:05:05,360 --> 00:05:09,760 Speaker 1: this matters deeply for leaders. Anxiety that is denied tends 61 00:05:09,800 --> 00:05:16,480 Speaker 1: to leak out sideways through impatience or defensiveness, overfunctioning, or 62 00:05:16,600 --> 00:05:21,320 Speaker 1: even withdrawal. But anxiety that is brought into the presence 63 00:05:21,320 --> 00:05:27,360 Speaker 1: of God can be transformed, not erased, but redirected. Its 64 00:05:27,600 --> 00:05:35,520 Speaker 1: energy can become attentiveness. Worry can become compassion, hypervigilance can 65 00:05:35,600 --> 00:05:42,480 Speaker 1: become prayerful discernment. This is where abiding becomes more than 66 00:05:42,520 --> 00:05:48,880 Speaker 1: a spiritual idea. It becomes a leadership practice. You see, 67 00:05:48,920 --> 00:05:53,840 Speaker 1: Jesus speaks often about remaining and staying and living from 68 00:05:53,960 --> 00:05:59,640 Speaker 1: union rather than from striving. When leaders abide, they stop 69 00:05:59,760 --> 00:06:04,400 Speaker 1: so forcing their worth from outcomes or approval or performance. 70 00:06:05,120 --> 00:06:10,160 Speaker 1: They lead from a steadier center, and their presence itself 71 00:06:10,360 --> 00:06:17,279 Speaker 1: becomes formative. Presence matters more than we think. You see, 72 00:06:17,320 --> 00:06:21,000 Speaker 1: a non anxious leader is not someone without anxious feelings. 73 00:06:21,960 --> 00:06:27,440 Speaker 1: It's someone whose inner life is anchored somewhere deeper than 74 00:06:27,520 --> 00:06:32,440 Speaker 1: the turbulence of the moment. Leaders like this can enter 75 00:06:32,560 --> 00:06:38,719 Speaker 1: conflict without becoming combative, They can face resistance without becoming rigid, 76 00:06:39,160 --> 00:06:44,080 Speaker 1: and they can sit with uncertainty without rushing toward false clarity. 77 00:06:45,000 --> 00:06:50,360 Speaker 1: Peace in this sense is not passive. It's resilient. It 78 00:06:50,440 --> 00:06:57,320 Speaker 1: has roots. One of the most persistent distortions anxiety introduces 79 00:06:57,600 --> 00:07:01,520 Speaker 1: is the quiet assumption that God is disappointed or even 80 00:07:01,600 --> 00:07:06,840 Speaker 1: irritated with us. Many leaders I meet with carry this 81 00:07:07,040 --> 00:07:13,160 Speaker 1: belief unspoken. You know, if I were more faithful, more disciplined, 82 00:07:13,240 --> 00:07:17,120 Speaker 1: or more effective, God would be more pleased with me. 83 00:07:18,720 --> 00:07:22,280 Speaker 1: But the God that Jesus reveals to us is not 84 00:07:22,520 --> 00:07:26,640 Speaker 1: hovering over us with crossed arms. He is tending and 85 00:07:26,760 --> 00:07:34,200 Speaker 1: watching and guarding and present. Formation is not performance. Spiritual 86 00:07:34,240 --> 00:07:39,360 Speaker 1: practices are not tests. They are places of encounter where 87 00:07:39,440 --> 00:07:45,119 Speaker 1: Love does its slow and patient work. When leaders begin 88 00:07:45,200 --> 00:07:48,240 Speaker 1: to trust that God is not angry with them, something 89 00:07:48,360 --> 00:07:54,640 Speaker 1: in them softens, trust grows, and then peace follows, not 90 00:07:54,840 --> 00:08:01,200 Speaker 1: as something we manufacture, but as something we receive. The 91 00:08:01,320 --> 00:08:04,600 Speaker 1: year A Non Anxious Life was published, had the chance 92 00:08:04,640 --> 00:08:08,120 Speaker 1: to sit over dinner with a friend who is both 93 00:08:08,160 --> 00:08:12,600 Speaker 1: a thoughtful author and a seasoned professional counselor someone who 94 00:08:12,920 --> 00:08:18,280 Speaker 1: spends his days helping leaders navigate anxiety with real wisdom 95 00:08:18,320 --> 00:08:22,400 Speaker 1: and care. When we sat down, he placed his copy 96 00:08:22,520 --> 00:08:25,480 Speaker 1: of the book on the table between us. He then 97 00:08:25,560 --> 00:08:29,080 Speaker 1: opened it up and showed me that nearly every page 98 00:08:29,200 --> 00:08:33,440 Speaker 1: was highlighted or written on, filled with his own reflections, 99 00:08:34,000 --> 00:08:37,320 Speaker 1: and at one point he said, very simply, this has 100 00:08:37,360 --> 00:08:41,240 Speaker 1: been my favorite book. I've read this here. Now. What 101 00:08:41,400 --> 00:08:45,520 Speaker 1: stayed with me wasn't the comment itself, but the way 102 00:08:45,679 --> 00:08:49,120 Speaker 1: he had worked with the book. It reminded me that 103 00:08:49,640 --> 00:08:53,000 Speaker 1: this non anxious way of life isn't just for people 104 00:08:53,480 --> 00:08:59,080 Speaker 1: who feel anxious. It also serves those who walk alongside others, 105 00:08:59,679 --> 00:09:03,480 Speaker 1: helping them discover a steadier and more peaceful way to 106 00:09:03,600 --> 00:09:10,320 Speaker 1: live and lead. That piece becomes especially precious at night. 107 00:09:11,800 --> 00:09:15,400 Speaker 1: Many leaders know what it is to lie awake, replaying 108 00:09:15,480 --> 00:09:22,840 Speaker 1: conversations or rehearsing responsibilities, or bracing for imagined negative futures. 109 00:09:24,480 --> 00:09:30,600 Speaker 1: Anxiety loves the dark, but rest itself is an act 110 00:09:30,640 --> 00:09:35,520 Speaker 1: of trust. When we sleep, we relinquish control and confess 111 00:09:35,679 --> 00:09:40,880 Speaker 1: our limits. That can feel surprisingly vulnerable for leaders, and 112 00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:45,920 Speaker 1: yet learning to rest, really rest, is part of becoming 113 00:09:46,520 --> 00:09:52,280 Speaker 1: a non anxious presence. Over time, I've come to see 114 00:09:52,320 --> 00:09:56,600 Speaker 1: anxiety not only as something to manage, but as a signal, 115 00:09:57,200 --> 00:10:02,000 Speaker 1: a dashboard light of the soul. It alerts us to 116 00:10:02,120 --> 00:10:06,480 Speaker 1: places where trust is strained, where we're carrying more than 117 00:10:06,520 --> 00:10:10,600 Speaker 1: our share, where our vision of God has become constricted. 118 00:10:11,400 --> 00:10:16,440 Speaker 1: Instead of shaming ourselves for anxiety, we can grow curious. 119 00:10:16,960 --> 00:10:21,160 Speaker 1: What is this anxiety trying to protect? What does it 120 00:10:21,440 --> 00:10:26,800 Speaker 1: fear losing? And what might it mean to entrust this 121 00:10:26,920 --> 00:10:33,240 Speaker 1: concern to God rather than grappling with it alone. After 122 00:10:33,280 --> 00:10:36,360 Speaker 1: the break, I'll continue sharing my thoughts on leading from 123 00:10:36,520 --> 00:10:45,800 Speaker 1: peace rather than from anxiety. When leaders do this inner work, 124 00:10:46,480 --> 00:10:52,880 Speaker 1: the effects ripple outward. Peace is never merely personal. A 125 00:10:52,960 --> 00:11:00,000 Speaker 1: grounded leader steadies an organization, A regulated presence calms anxious space, 126 00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:06,600 Speaker 1: and a leader who abides quietly of invites others to breathe. 127 00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:10,800 Speaker 1: This is why peace is not just a private virtue. 128 00:11:11,600 --> 00:11:17,040 Speaker 1: It is a public good. Communities do not become peaceful 129 00:11:17,120 --> 00:11:23,560 Speaker 1: because everybody agrees. They become peaceful because enough people are 130 00:11:23,720 --> 00:11:29,760 Speaker 1: oriented toward the same center. When leaders tune their hearts 131 00:11:29,840 --> 00:11:35,080 Speaker 1: to God's harmony becomes possible, even in the middle of 132 00:11:35,160 --> 00:11:41,120 Speaker 1: great differences. This is admittedly slow work, it's unhurried work, 133 00:11:41,600 --> 00:11:46,400 Speaker 1: but it is work that is well worth it. If 134 00:11:46,440 --> 00:11:50,480 Speaker 1: you haven't yet read A Non Anxious Life, this two 135 00:11:50,600 --> 00:11:54,280 Speaker 1: year anniversary feels like a fitting moment to begin, or 136 00:11:54,480 --> 00:11:57,760 Speaker 1: maybe even to return to it, not so much as 137 00:11:57,760 --> 00:12:02,920 Speaker 1: a solution, but maybe more as a companion. Maybe this 138 00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:06,320 Speaker 1: book can be a guide for cultivating an inner life 139 00:12:06,400 --> 00:12:10,880 Speaker 1: capable of bearing the weight of leadership with grace, courage, 140 00:12:11,480 --> 00:12:14,959 Speaker 1: and peace. And if you have read it, perhaps this 141 00:12:15,040 --> 00:12:18,240 Speaker 1: is an invitation to come back, maybe not just to 142 00:12:18,320 --> 00:12:22,200 Speaker 1: the words, but to this non anxious way of life 143 00:12:22,880 --> 00:12:26,800 Speaker 1: that the words point toward. It's the kind of life 144 00:12:26,920 --> 00:12:33,280 Speaker 1: worth underlining, lingering over, and living into. Because the world 145 00:12:33,360 --> 00:12:36,959 Speaker 1: will continue to bring us trouble, we can count on that, 146 00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:44,520 Speaker 1: but peace, deep, durable, Christ shaped peace is still available, 147 00:12:45,160 --> 00:12:48,520 Speaker 1: not beyond the chaos, but right in the middle of it, 148 00:12:49,360 --> 00:12:52,560 Speaker 1: And leaders who learn to live from that piece become 149 00:12:52,679 --> 00:12:58,720 Speaker 1: quiet signs of hope in our very anxious times. Well, 150 00:12:58,760 --> 00:13:00,440 Speaker 1: as we come to the end of this SEP episode, 151 00:13:00,520 --> 00:13:03,120 Speaker 1: and before you move on to whatever else comes next 152 00:13:03,160 --> 00:13:07,640 Speaker 1: in your day, want to offer just a few gentle invitations. 153 00:13:08,160 --> 00:13:10,240 Speaker 1: This is not more stuff for your to do list, 154 00:13:10,360 --> 00:13:14,600 Speaker 1: but these are experiments you might try. I suggest choose 155 00:13:14,600 --> 00:13:18,559 Speaker 1: one and you might return to that one more than 156 00:13:18,679 --> 00:13:23,400 Speaker 1: just the first time you try it. First, notice your 157 00:13:23,440 --> 00:13:28,880 Speaker 1: anxiety without letting it lead when urgency or worry rises, 158 00:13:29,360 --> 00:13:34,160 Speaker 1: Try simply naming it. Just say to yourself anxieties here. 159 00:13:35,440 --> 00:13:38,080 Speaker 1: You don't need to argue with it, or wrestle with 160 00:13:38,160 --> 00:13:42,400 Speaker 1: it or push it away. Imagine inviting it to take 161 00:13:42,440 --> 00:13:46,199 Speaker 1: a seat in the back, present, but not in charge. 162 00:13:47,440 --> 00:13:50,480 Speaker 1: And then notice does anything change when you respond to 163 00:13:50,559 --> 00:13:57,560 Speaker 1: anxious feelings or thoughts in this way? Second, listen for 164 00:13:57,640 --> 00:14:01,880 Speaker 1: the voice you're trusting the most in anxious moments. Which 165 00:14:02,080 --> 00:14:05,840 Speaker 1: voice grows loudest in you? Is it the voice of 166 00:14:05,880 --> 00:14:11,960 Speaker 1: fear or obligation or self criticism? Gently ask God to 167 00:14:12,080 --> 00:14:19,680 Speaker 1: let his voice become clearer, steady, patient, compassionate. What might 168 00:14:19,720 --> 00:14:23,200 Speaker 1: it sound like for God to speak peace rather than 169 00:14:23,320 --> 00:14:29,880 Speaker 1: pressure into your inner life? Third, reflect on how you 170 00:14:30,040 --> 00:14:34,600 Speaker 1: imagine God toward you. Do you in any way tend 171 00:14:34,600 --> 00:14:39,840 Speaker 1: to assume that God is disappointed or quietly irritated with you? 172 00:14:41,160 --> 00:14:44,040 Speaker 1: What would be what would it be like to sit 173 00:14:44,160 --> 00:14:48,600 Speaker 1: with this word from Scripture, I am not angry with you. 174 00:14:49,880 --> 00:14:53,680 Speaker 1: Let that settle in and notice what stirs in you. 175 00:14:54,960 --> 00:15:00,480 Speaker 1: And then, finally, try one small experiment in lead from 176 00:15:00,520 --> 00:15:04,520 Speaker 1: peace this week, slow your pace in just one meeting 177 00:15:04,760 --> 00:15:11,000 Speaker 1: or pause before reacting to a tense circumstance. In trust 178 00:15:11,160 --> 00:15:15,240 Speaker 1: one outcome to God rather than carrying it alone. How 179 00:15:15,320 --> 00:15:19,560 Speaker 1: might your leadership feel different if peace, rather than anxiety 180 00:15:20,120 --> 00:15:24,800 Speaker 1: set the tone now. All of these are not quick fixes. 181 00:15:25,520 --> 00:15:30,400 Speaker 1: They are slow and steady practices, and over time, practicing 182 00:15:30,560 --> 00:15:34,760 Speaker 1: peace becomes a way of life, a way of life 183 00:15:34,760 --> 00:15:38,640 Speaker 1: that blesses not only your own soul, but the souls 184 00:15:38,920 --> 00:15:44,440 Speaker 1: of the people you are called to serve. Thank you 185 00:15:44,480 --> 00:15:47,920 Speaker 1: for listening to the Unhurry Living podcast. To learn more 186 00:15:47,960 --> 00:15:52,200 Speaker 1: about us, visit unhurryliving dot com. In the show notes, 187 00:15:52,280 --> 00:15:56,480 Speaker 1: you'll find helpful links and information about our Partner Life 188 00:15:56,560 --> 00:16:01,440 Speaker 1: Audio and all of their other faith centered podcasts.