1 00:00:20,196 --> 00:00:23,236 Speaker 1: Hi, friend, I'm so glad you're here today. Let's learn 2 00:00:23,276 --> 00:00:26,916 Speaker 1: how to raise our kids to love God, respect authority, 3 00:00:27,196 --> 00:00:31,036 Speaker 1: and do what's right. Let's scroll less and live more. 4 00:00:31,356 --> 00:00:38,076 Speaker 1: I'm Arlene Pelicane, and this is a happy home. I 5 00:00:38,156 --> 00:00:42,396 Speaker 1: am particularly excited today to invite my friend Ruth Joe 6 00:00:42,516 --> 00:00:46,236 Speaker 1: Simons to the podcast. She has a new book, This 7 00:00:46,476 --> 00:00:52,556 Speaker 1: Moment Matters, one hundred Ways to cultivate a grace laced life. 8 00:00:52,635 --> 00:00:55,716 Speaker 1: That's like a tongue twister. Ruth will under the program. 9 00:00:56,476 --> 00:00:59,876 Speaker 2: I'm so glad to be here, so lovely to finally 10 00:00:59,876 --> 00:01:01,316 Speaker 2: get to have a conversation together. 11 00:01:01,516 --> 00:01:03,676 Speaker 1: I know, and you know, many people will know you 12 00:01:03,715 --> 00:01:06,435 Speaker 1: from your books, from your art. They will know that 13 00:01:06,516 --> 00:01:08,956 Speaker 1: you and your husband Troy, have six boys. So for 14 00:01:09,036 --> 00:01:11,236 Speaker 1: the boy moms out there, they're like, this is our gal. 15 00:01:11,436 --> 00:01:15,116 Speaker 1: She understands that. I have to ask. You're so artistic, right, 16 00:01:15,236 --> 00:01:20,316 Speaker 1: so flowers, painting, you know, water color everything? What was 17 00:01:20,356 --> 00:01:22,676 Speaker 1: that like in your you dress so beautifully and all 18 00:01:22,715 --> 00:01:24,916 Speaker 1: these things? What was it like not having a girl 19 00:01:25,116 --> 00:01:26,036 Speaker 1: to do these things? 20 00:01:26,075 --> 00:01:29,676 Speaker 2: With? Seeing you understand and my pain, I was like, 21 00:01:29,996 --> 00:01:32,316 Speaker 2: of all the people in the world, I was sure 22 00:01:32,356 --> 00:01:34,556 Speaker 2: that I was going to have a girl, because you know, 23 00:01:34,795 --> 00:01:37,756 Speaker 2: I want to be able to share makeup tips and 24 00:01:38,036 --> 00:01:40,755 Speaker 2: go shopping and have tea parties and all those things. 25 00:01:40,795 --> 00:01:45,476 Speaker 2: You know. The first the first three times I teared up, 26 00:01:45,556 --> 00:01:48,636 Speaker 2: I cried. I was really like, what in the world, Wow, 27 00:01:48,876 --> 00:01:51,796 Speaker 2: there's just two choices here. Why didn't I get a girl? 28 00:01:52,676 --> 00:01:57,596 Speaker 2: But then you know, the second round, three, four, five, 29 00:01:57,596 --> 00:01:59,996 Speaker 2: and six, I was just so grateful, and I think 30 00:01:59,996 --> 00:02:03,796 Speaker 2: I started seeing how the Lord gave me something I 31 00:02:03,796 --> 00:02:08,356 Speaker 2: could never imagine would transform me. Having six boys wasn't 32 00:02:08,356 --> 00:02:11,676 Speaker 2: what I intended, wasn't what I hoped for necessarily, you know, 33 00:02:11,716 --> 00:02:14,396 Speaker 2: I wasn't I didn't know what I needed or wanted. 34 00:02:14,756 --> 00:02:18,396 Speaker 2: But what's really neat is just that instead of thinking, oh, 35 00:02:18,516 --> 00:02:21,995 Speaker 2: now my life is all about dirt and legos, I 36 00:02:22,036 --> 00:02:25,236 Speaker 2: was like, you know what, there's dirt bikes, there's mountain biking, 37 00:02:25,236 --> 00:02:28,396 Speaker 2: there's hiking, and there's legos, of course, but these boys 38 00:02:28,436 --> 00:02:31,476 Speaker 2: also go to anthropology with me, and they decorate the 39 00:02:31,516 --> 00:02:34,236 Speaker 2: home and they cook meals and they clean, and they 40 00:02:34,236 --> 00:02:37,435 Speaker 2: have tea parties and they're gentlemen. They dance, and they're 41 00:02:37,476 --> 00:02:40,796 Speaker 2: also artistic, and so I think it's really grown my 42 00:02:40,876 --> 00:02:45,476 Speaker 2: sense of like you just don't don't do guys job. 43 00:02:45,636 --> 00:02:47,396 Speaker 2: Let him write that story. 44 00:02:47,716 --> 00:02:50,436 Speaker 1: Well it's so true, Like Lord, thank you. It's not 45 00:02:50,436 --> 00:02:53,236 Speaker 1: what I anticipated, but thank you. Can you imagine there's 46 00:02:53,236 --> 00:02:55,116 Speaker 1: gonna be six girls out there They're gonna be like 47 00:02:55,395 --> 00:02:56,956 Speaker 1: these boys are amazing. 48 00:02:57,555 --> 00:02:59,196 Speaker 2: They're artistic and they don't want. 49 00:02:59,036 --> 00:03:02,156 Speaker 1: To cook and they do these things. In your new book, 50 00:03:02,236 --> 00:03:05,436 Speaker 1: which I think is such a beautiful people get this 51 00:03:05,476 --> 00:03:07,956 Speaker 1: book because it's the culmination of all the things that 52 00:03:08,076 --> 00:03:10,395 Speaker 1: Ruth has learned through the years as a mom. It's 53 00:03:10,395 --> 00:03:14,076 Speaker 1: so beautifully presented and the content is amazing. You write 54 00:03:14,516 --> 00:03:17,956 Speaker 1: the gospel, the good news of forgiveness and freedom in 55 00:03:18,036 --> 00:03:21,435 Speaker 1: Christ made a difference in the way we made dinner, 56 00:03:22,036 --> 00:03:25,196 Speaker 1: decorate our homes, speak to our kids, and embrace the 57 00:03:25,276 --> 00:03:27,676 Speaker 1: life we've been given. And I just want to dive 58 00:03:27,716 --> 00:03:30,636 Speaker 1: deeper into this how the gospel is. Yes, it's the 59 00:03:30,675 --> 00:03:33,116 Speaker 1: good news, and yes we are saved and our sins 60 00:03:33,115 --> 00:03:34,996 Speaker 1: are forgiven. We're redeemed to go to turn. I mean, 61 00:03:34,996 --> 00:03:37,356 Speaker 1: that is the best news of all time. And this 62 00:03:37,436 --> 00:03:40,236 Speaker 1: good news touches other things. Let's start with dinner. Let's 63 00:03:40,236 --> 00:03:42,076 Speaker 1: go with that cooking, because you talked about cooking with 64 00:03:42,116 --> 00:03:45,316 Speaker 1: your boys, how did you get your kids to cook 65 00:03:45,356 --> 00:03:47,356 Speaker 1: with you and just take us into that world. 66 00:03:48,276 --> 00:03:51,876 Speaker 2: You know, I'm such a perfectionist, or I'm a recovering perfectionist, 67 00:03:51,876 --> 00:03:53,916 Speaker 2: and in my mind, I'm always trying to arrive somewhere. 68 00:03:53,916 --> 00:03:56,396 Speaker 2: I'm always trying to get to that finished results. So 69 00:03:56,436 --> 00:03:58,956 Speaker 2: if I'm cooking dinner, I'm like, what's the fastest way 70 00:03:59,036 --> 00:04:03,916 Speaker 2: to getting exactly what I want? And I and if 71 00:04:03,916 --> 00:04:06,556 Speaker 2: I left up to my efficiency, I would never get 72 00:04:06,556 --> 00:04:08,756 Speaker 2: my kids involved. When they were little, I would say, well, 73 00:04:08,796 --> 00:04:10,356 Speaker 2: I'm just going to put things away, I'm going to 74 00:04:10,436 --> 00:04:12,676 Speaker 2: chop the vegetables, I'm going to do the cooking. But 75 00:04:12,756 --> 00:04:15,596 Speaker 2: you know, I think as I wrap my mind around 76 00:04:15,676 --> 00:04:19,796 Speaker 2: motherhood being synctifying for my life and an opportunity for 77 00:04:19,876 --> 00:04:23,196 Speaker 2: me to train up and disciple the next generation, it 78 00:04:23,236 --> 00:04:25,836 Speaker 2: made me just kind of aware that even dinner time, 79 00:04:25,956 --> 00:04:31,315 Speaker 2: even this annoyingly mundane prep time of chopping vegetables and cleaning, 80 00:04:31,436 --> 00:04:33,916 Speaker 2: wiping the counter and then dripping stuff on the ground 81 00:04:33,916 --> 00:04:35,515 Speaker 2: and then wiping it up again, that just feels so 82 00:04:35,636 --> 00:04:38,515 Speaker 2: mundane you almost don't think it even matters in that moment. 83 00:04:38,916 --> 00:04:41,316 Speaker 2: And yet those were some of the best conversations we 84 00:04:41,396 --> 00:04:45,036 Speaker 2: ever had was just when you know, we're chopping vegetables 85 00:04:45,036 --> 00:04:47,796 Speaker 2: and we're talking about our day. Some of the richest conversations, 86 00:04:48,195 --> 00:04:51,156 Speaker 2: some of the best discipleship moments even happened during that time. 87 00:04:51,436 --> 00:04:55,756 Speaker 2: And So while this idea of kind of making even 88 00:04:55,836 --> 00:05:01,156 Speaker 2: meal prep time meaningful, while that's not necessarily only for motherhood, 89 00:05:01,236 --> 00:05:02,635 Speaker 2: I mean, it could be with your spouse, it could 90 00:05:02,636 --> 00:05:04,955 Speaker 2: be even with your roommates. If you're single and you're 91 00:05:04,956 --> 00:05:08,556 Speaker 2: living with others, you just don't realize how every moment 92 00:05:08,796 --> 00:05:12,716 Speaker 2: actually matters. And when the Gospel is rich and alive 93 00:05:12,796 --> 00:05:14,796 Speaker 2: in your life and you're meditating on what Christ has 94 00:05:14,836 --> 00:05:17,516 Speaker 2: done for you, it kind of changes your posture as 95 00:05:17,516 --> 00:05:19,476 Speaker 2: you enter into your mundane every day. 96 00:05:19,996 --> 00:05:23,196 Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, and sometimes you think, like I know, as 97 00:05:23,236 --> 00:05:25,596 Speaker 1: a mom, I'll think I have three kids that I'll think, oh, 98 00:05:25,636 --> 00:05:28,315 Speaker 1: I'm like inconveniencing them to ask them to do this, 99 00:05:28,516 --> 00:05:31,676 Speaker 1: I'll just do it myself. But that's not the right thinking. 100 00:05:32,636 --> 00:05:35,196 Speaker 2: No, And I'm so grateful that people kind of freak 101 00:05:35,195 --> 00:05:37,276 Speaker 2: out when I say that. I teach like I think 102 00:05:37,315 --> 00:05:39,516 Speaker 2: by the time they're seven or eight, I'm you know, 103 00:05:39,556 --> 00:05:43,116 Speaker 2: they're absolutely loading the dishwasher, washing my hands and I 104 00:05:43,195 --> 00:05:45,156 Speaker 2: teach them how to fry an egg. So like we 105 00:05:45,195 --> 00:05:47,316 Speaker 2: start by like seven years old, you're on a little stool. 106 00:05:47,716 --> 00:05:49,356 Speaker 2: You know, we got to be really careful with the heat, 107 00:05:49,396 --> 00:05:52,036 Speaker 2: and you know we're supervising. But once they learn how 108 00:05:52,036 --> 00:05:54,116 Speaker 2: to fry an egg and they kind of build up 109 00:05:54,156 --> 00:05:56,955 Speaker 2: that confidence. At our house is not frying, it's called 110 00:05:56,996 --> 00:05:59,596 Speaker 2: basting an egg, so you're partly steaming it. But I 111 00:05:59,676 --> 00:06:01,636 Speaker 2: just teach them to lower the basics so they can 112 00:06:01,676 --> 00:06:05,876 Speaker 2: make breakfast. But also I think slowing me, slowing me 113 00:06:05,996 --> 00:06:09,076 Speaker 2: down as a mom and helping them build confidence gives 114 00:06:09,116 --> 00:06:12,955 Speaker 2: them lifelong tools to say I can because I've already 115 00:06:12,996 --> 00:06:15,636 Speaker 2: done this. I've done the first step and so now 116 00:06:15,636 --> 00:06:17,196 Speaker 2: I can send them in the kitchen and be like 117 00:06:17,676 --> 00:06:20,075 Speaker 2: when I get back, have something ready for dinner. You 118 00:06:20,116 --> 00:06:22,556 Speaker 2: know they can do it, and they can do it. 119 00:06:22,876 --> 00:06:25,356 Speaker 1: And the smile right on your boys face is to know, 120 00:06:25,396 --> 00:06:27,596 Speaker 1: like I can do this, Like kids can do so 121 00:06:27,716 --> 00:06:29,876 Speaker 1: much more than we think they can. Talk to the 122 00:06:29,916 --> 00:06:32,275 Speaker 1: person who does have a lot of children, either like 123 00:06:32,315 --> 00:06:34,116 Speaker 1: you and then those of us who think, wow, two 124 00:06:34,195 --> 00:06:36,436 Speaker 1: children is a lot or three children is a lot, 125 00:06:36,836 --> 00:06:39,275 Speaker 1: How did you and this could be you know this 126 00:06:39,315 --> 00:06:42,075 Speaker 1: is with cooking, this was with everything. How did you 127 00:06:42,195 --> 00:06:44,196 Speaker 1: do that? Of taking turns of like I'm going to 128 00:06:44,276 --> 00:06:46,156 Speaker 1: teach each one just tips on that. 129 00:06:47,195 --> 00:06:51,516 Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, in my home, I was given one 130 00:06:51,556 --> 00:06:53,556 Speaker 2: child at a time, so I have no twins. I 131 00:06:53,596 --> 00:06:59,316 Speaker 2: don't have multiple six individual experiences one per season. But 132 00:07:00,516 --> 00:07:04,236 Speaker 2: it felt chaotic. It felt chaotic when I had two, 133 00:07:04,476 --> 00:07:06,596 Speaker 2: it felt chaotic when I had three. So it's not 134 00:07:06,676 --> 00:07:09,476 Speaker 2: just chaotic when you have a gaggle of kids like 135 00:07:10,196 --> 00:07:13,596 Speaker 2: I do. But but you know, in any whether you 136 00:07:13,596 --> 00:07:17,436 Speaker 2: have one or six children or more, I think it's 137 00:07:17,516 --> 00:07:21,236 Speaker 2: really about reading the moment and go, you know, is 138 00:07:21,276 --> 00:07:24,516 Speaker 2: this a teachable moment or is this not? Really? You know, 139 00:07:24,716 --> 00:07:27,476 Speaker 2: not every moment is teachable, and not every moment is 140 00:07:27,516 --> 00:07:30,756 Speaker 2: a beautiful, perfect moment to do that thing that you're 141 00:07:30,796 --> 00:07:33,716 Speaker 2: trying to work on. Sometimes you have to wait for 142 00:07:33,756 --> 00:07:36,676 Speaker 2: the right time. But for in our home, I found 143 00:07:36,716 --> 00:07:40,116 Speaker 2: that when I couldn't do it perfectly where every single 144 00:07:40,156 --> 00:07:44,396 Speaker 2: person had my personal attention, I just put them in pairs. 145 00:07:44,436 --> 00:07:47,756 Speaker 2: And I've often created experience with multiples of them because 146 00:07:47,796 --> 00:07:50,636 Speaker 2: I think a little bit, and this goes for almost 147 00:07:50,676 --> 00:07:52,956 Speaker 2: everything in our lives. I'm trying to think of what 148 00:07:53,036 --> 00:07:56,236 Speaker 2: it doesn't apply to. But trying and taking the first 149 00:07:56,276 --> 00:07:58,716 Speaker 2: step is better than not doing it at all. And 150 00:07:58,796 --> 00:08:01,756 Speaker 2: so I think about how sometimes in our perfectionism, we 151 00:08:01,836 --> 00:08:04,316 Speaker 2: might be like, well, I can't spend quality of time 152 00:08:04,636 --> 00:08:06,316 Speaker 2: with each of my kids individually, and I don't have 153 00:08:06,396 --> 00:08:09,516 Speaker 2: enough money to take them out on dates individually. So 154 00:08:09,596 --> 00:08:11,876 Speaker 2: I just don't know where to start. Well, maybe start 155 00:08:11,916 --> 00:08:14,956 Speaker 2: by just inviting two at a time to go to 156 00:08:15,036 --> 00:08:18,356 Speaker 2: the grocery store, and that's the date, and that's the 157 00:08:18,356 --> 00:08:20,836 Speaker 2: special get a donut while they're there. And I think 158 00:08:21,036 --> 00:08:24,276 Speaker 2: something so simple as doing a grocery run, but when 159 00:08:24,276 --> 00:08:27,196 Speaker 2: you say, hey, will you go with me and we'll 160 00:08:27,196 --> 00:08:30,396 Speaker 2: go get a cookie from the bakery, that makes everything special. 161 00:08:30,436 --> 00:08:31,316 Speaker 1: And so it does. 162 00:08:31,516 --> 00:08:33,516 Speaker 2: I had to spend a lot of time thinking about 163 00:08:33,596 --> 00:08:35,756 Speaker 2: I had to kind of just put into practice what 164 00:08:35,796 --> 00:08:39,316 Speaker 2: it looks like to begin before I was ready, or 165 00:08:40,236 --> 00:08:43,756 Speaker 2: just try even if it wasn't able to be done perfectly, you. 166 00:08:43,676 --> 00:08:46,676 Speaker 1: Know, yes, like just get the ball rolling, start moving. 167 00:08:47,316 --> 00:08:50,676 Speaker 1: One of the things I think we often want to 168 00:08:50,716 --> 00:08:53,156 Speaker 1: do is we want our kids to hide God's word 169 00:08:53,196 --> 00:08:55,516 Speaker 1: in their heart. We want them to memborize scripture. I 170 00:08:55,596 --> 00:08:57,916 Speaker 1: know I had a grand plan, and it was a 171 00:08:58,036 --> 00:08:58,636 Speaker 1: very good plan. 172 00:08:58,756 --> 00:08:58,916 Speaker 2: Ruth. 173 00:08:58,996 --> 00:09:00,996 Speaker 1: I thought, Okay, I'm going to take one verse from 174 00:09:00,996 --> 00:09:04,916 Speaker 1: Genesis to Revelation, and by the time my kids graduate 175 00:09:04,996 --> 00:09:07,756 Speaker 1: out of my house, they will know avers from Genesis 176 00:09:07,836 --> 00:09:10,636 Speaker 1: to Revelation. And I started really strong and we about 177 00:09:10,756 --> 00:09:13,876 Speaker 1: died in like Timothy all right, So it was this 178 00:09:13,956 --> 00:09:16,836 Speaker 1: effort already, right, but it was this effort, but it 179 00:09:16,876 --> 00:09:19,476 Speaker 1: didn't quite take. Like right now is my kids are, 180 00:09:19,676 --> 00:09:23,916 Speaker 1: you know, college grad college and high school senior. They'll 181 00:09:23,956 --> 00:09:26,556 Speaker 1: remember a good amount of those verses, but I don't 182 00:09:26,596 --> 00:09:28,396 Speaker 1: think they have it. So in one way I could 183 00:09:28,396 --> 00:09:30,316 Speaker 1: think that was a little bit of a failure. But 184 00:09:30,356 --> 00:09:32,556 Speaker 1: in another way, it's like, well, we gave it a try, 185 00:09:32,556 --> 00:09:35,596 Speaker 1: and we gave it to go help us with how 186 00:09:35,716 --> 00:09:38,156 Speaker 1: you guys met ri scripture and tell us about that 187 00:09:38,276 --> 00:09:38,956 Speaker 1: memory station. 188 00:09:40,156 --> 00:09:43,516 Speaker 2: You know, it's looked different in every season, right there 189 00:09:43,516 --> 00:09:46,476 Speaker 2: are seasons when everybody's just bickering getting in the car 190 00:09:46,716 --> 00:09:48,876 Speaker 2: off to the grocery store. And there are seasons like 191 00:09:48,916 --> 00:09:51,236 Speaker 2: now where everybody can do their own laundry and they're 192 00:09:51,236 --> 00:09:53,916 Speaker 2: a lot quieter and they're reading their Bibles on their own, 193 00:09:53,996 --> 00:09:57,636 Speaker 2: and there's no reminding and needing to like kind of 194 00:09:57,636 --> 00:10:00,836 Speaker 2: figure out how to get rhythms going. And so you know, 195 00:10:00,876 --> 00:10:03,796 Speaker 2: when I share tips and I share ideas, just keep 196 00:10:03,836 --> 00:10:06,716 Speaker 2: in mind that you have to look at your unique season. 197 00:10:07,076 --> 00:10:08,876 Speaker 2: You need to give yourself a little grace and know 198 00:10:09,316 --> 00:10:11,916 Speaker 2: if you were up all night with a nursing infant, 199 00:10:12,876 --> 00:10:14,876 Speaker 2: you might not be able to give as much attention 200 00:10:14,956 --> 00:10:18,116 Speaker 2: to some of these big efforts as you may a 201 00:10:18,236 --> 00:10:21,436 Speaker 2: year from now. And I think that's okay to just remember, like, 202 00:10:21,636 --> 00:10:24,356 Speaker 2: do what you can with what you have right where 203 00:10:24,396 --> 00:10:26,276 Speaker 2: you are. And I think that's the thing I keep 204 00:10:26,276 --> 00:10:29,236 Speaker 2: coming back to, what do you have today? Well, sometimes 205 00:10:29,476 --> 00:10:33,436 Speaker 2: we have playing. We love seeds worship, and so the 206 00:10:33,516 --> 00:10:37,396 Speaker 2: scenes worship put is good scripture to music. So sometimes 207 00:10:37,436 --> 00:10:40,276 Speaker 2: in some seasons what we had was the commute to 208 00:10:40,476 --> 00:10:43,356 Speaker 2: that after school activity, and we listened to something like 209 00:10:43,396 --> 00:10:45,436 Speaker 2: that and then we would hummet and then seeing it 210 00:10:45,436 --> 00:10:47,316 Speaker 2: back to each other, even if it was a little cheesy, 211 00:10:47,636 --> 00:10:50,516 Speaker 2: we would say, okay, let's sing that verse. Or we 212 00:10:50,556 --> 00:10:53,676 Speaker 2: would reply to a need or a concern with the 213 00:10:53,796 --> 00:10:56,916 Speaker 2: verse that we memorize through song. So that was something 214 00:10:56,956 --> 00:10:59,316 Speaker 2: we did through many seasons. One of the tips I 215 00:10:59,316 --> 00:11:02,836 Speaker 2: share in the book is that I sometimes just put 216 00:11:02,836 --> 00:11:05,716 Speaker 2: a scripture memory card in a pretty way, right in 217 00:11:05,756 --> 00:11:07,636 Speaker 2: the middle of a kitchen island, so that as you 218 00:11:07,676 --> 00:11:09,676 Speaker 2: pass by you can't help but see it, or as 219 00:11:09,716 --> 00:11:12,836 Speaker 2: you're prepping your breakfast sandwich you're seeing it. And so 220 00:11:12,996 --> 00:11:18,036 Speaker 2: just putting it out somewhere where the invitation is always there. 221 00:11:18,316 --> 00:11:21,756 Speaker 2: That's an opera tunity. And so again it's just using 222 00:11:21,796 --> 00:11:25,836 Speaker 2: what you have already and right in the season that 223 00:11:25,876 --> 00:11:29,596 Speaker 2: you're in. That makes such a big difference in our lives, 224 00:11:29,836 --> 00:11:32,676 Speaker 2: because otherwise we would just never start right Because in 225 00:11:32,716 --> 00:11:34,956 Speaker 2: my mind, I want the index cars. I want the 226 00:11:34,996 --> 00:11:39,076 Speaker 2: perfectly organized scripture versus all categorized and us being able 227 00:11:39,116 --> 00:11:42,236 Speaker 2: to say, oh, you know, I know four hundred verses. Well, 228 00:11:42,236 --> 00:11:45,156 Speaker 2: there's no way, you know. And so it's more like 229 00:11:45,556 --> 00:11:48,236 Speaker 2: learning it and applying it right away and hopefully someone 230 00:11:48,236 --> 00:11:50,756 Speaker 2: will stick for the long for the long run. 231 00:11:51,196 --> 00:11:54,156 Speaker 1: And a word for those artistically challenged like me. You know, 232 00:11:54,236 --> 00:11:56,516 Speaker 1: ruths might look very beautiful on the table, and you 233 00:11:56,516 --> 00:11:58,956 Speaker 1: could put that thing on the wall. Mine's going to 234 00:11:58,996 --> 00:12:00,996 Speaker 1: look like a scrolling of like the Chick fil a Cow. 235 00:12:01,476 --> 00:12:03,596 Speaker 1: It's just like someone scroll it there. But like word 236 00:12:03,636 --> 00:12:05,836 Speaker 1: of God, doesn't matter how it's dressed up, So just 237 00:12:06,076 --> 00:12:08,596 Speaker 1: write it down and put it there. Yeah, let's go 238 00:12:08,676 --> 00:12:11,276 Speaker 1: there in terms of creating a home that you love 239 00:12:12,036 --> 00:12:14,836 Speaker 1: and how to make your home more beautiful. So for 240 00:12:14,916 --> 00:12:19,356 Speaker 1: those who are esthetically inclined, give them kind of some advice, 241 00:12:19,436 --> 00:12:22,036 Speaker 1: and then for those who are aesthetically challenged to give 242 00:12:22,116 --> 00:12:23,836 Speaker 1: us a word about that too. 243 00:12:24,436 --> 00:12:28,156 Speaker 2: Yeah. Well, I'm a super aesthetic person. I see everything 244 00:12:28,196 --> 00:12:31,916 Speaker 2: through the lens of beauty and art and wanting to 245 00:12:31,916 --> 00:12:35,196 Speaker 2: work with my hands. So I and anyone else who 246 00:12:35,636 --> 00:12:39,396 Speaker 2: may be very prone to wanting to decorate and design, 247 00:12:40,036 --> 00:12:41,716 Speaker 2: I think a lot of times I have to pull 248 00:12:41,756 --> 00:12:45,316 Speaker 2: myself back and sit myself down and say, you're not 249 00:12:45,356 --> 00:12:48,276 Speaker 2: going to be happier if your pillows are perfect or 250 00:12:48,316 --> 00:12:50,756 Speaker 2: if you have new furniture. Like I have to preach 251 00:12:50,876 --> 00:12:53,716 Speaker 2: my own heart that my home is for me to steward, 252 00:12:54,116 --> 00:12:57,036 Speaker 2: not for me to showcase. And I think that is 253 00:12:57,076 --> 00:13:00,876 Speaker 2: a reminder to myself because most I don't know about you, 254 00:13:00,916 --> 00:13:02,796 Speaker 2: but I can't have everything I want in my home 255 00:13:02,836 --> 00:13:04,556 Speaker 2: all at the same time. And that's not just a 256 00:13:04,596 --> 00:13:08,116 Speaker 2: budgeting issue. It's sometimes even just a heart issue. Recognizing 257 00:13:08,156 --> 00:13:11,996 Speaker 2: that the heart is deceitful and we're not going to 258 00:13:12,236 --> 00:13:14,156 Speaker 2: We're going to think that we can keep chasing something 259 00:13:14,556 --> 00:13:16,756 Speaker 2: and arrive there, when really we're never going to be 260 00:13:16,796 --> 00:13:21,636 Speaker 2: fully satisfied. So my reminder to those who are like 261 00:13:21,756 --> 00:13:26,996 Speaker 2: me again, shop your own home and be creative, you know, 262 00:13:27,116 --> 00:13:29,556 Speaker 2: use that creative energy to say, what can I shop 263 00:13:29,596 --> 00:13:31,756 Speaker 2: around and move around in my own home so I 264 00:13:31,796 --> 00:13:35,116 Speaker 2: get the excitement of something new and different and kind 265 00:13:35,156 --> 00:13:38,596 Speaker 2: of a funky design challenge. But I'm not needing to 266 00:13:38,876 --> 00:13:41,076 Speaker 2: go and add more and more to my life. And 267 00:13:41,156 --> 00:13:44,476 Speaker 2: to somebody who maybe is just like, that's just a 268 00:13:44,596 --> 00:13:46,836 Speaker 2: territory I can't even enter into. I feel like I 269 00:13:46,876 --> 00:13:48,956 Speaker 2: don't know what to do about that, I would say, 270 00:13:49,036 --> 00:13:52,916 Speaker 2: you know, we spend more time in our homes. It 271 00:13:53,036 --> 00:13:55,716 Speaker 2: just depends. I mean, it depends on your lifestyle. For me, 272 00:13:55,876 --> 00:13:59,076 Speaker 2: I work from home. We spend a lot of time 273 00:13:59,236 --> 00:14:01,916 Speaker 2: at home together with our families, We have people over. 274 00:14:02,836 --> 00:14:05,196 Speaker 2: If I just give a little time every day to 275 00:14:05,636 --> 00:14:08,836 Speaker 2: working on my home as a haven, as a place 276 00:14:08,876 --> 00:14:11,716 Speaker 2: of rest, as a place of invitation, it makes it 277 00:14:11,756 --> 00:14:14,236 Speaker 2: so much easier to invite somebody over. It makes it 278 00:14:14,276 --> 00:14:17,756 Speaker 2: so much easier to take a sabbath and rest and 279 00:14:17,796 --> 00:14:20,396 Speaker 2: not feel like I'm constantly working on something, so it's 280 00:14:20,436 --> 00:14:22,796 Speaker 2: even just like a little bit of stewardship of saying, 281 00:14:23,236 --> 00:14:26,036 Speaker 2: what's one thing I can do to make this even 282 00:14:26,076 --> 00:14:31,756 Speaker 2: more delightful, enjoyable, RESTful place and not ignore it altogether. 283 00:14:32,356 --> 00:14:36,676 Speaker 1: Yes, so I'm hearing, simplify your life. Don't get more stuff. 284 00:14:36,796 --> 00:14:39,316 Speaker 1: You take the creative challenge and rearrange your stuff and 285 00:14:39,716 --> 00:14:42,196 Speaker 1: have fun with it, and make your home a place 286 00:14:42,236 --> 00:14:45,676 Speaker 1: you want to be and that you can invite people in, 287 00:14:45,716 --> 00:14:50,716 Speaker 1: and that gives that hospitality that's so important. Let's talk 288 00:14:50,716 --> 00:14:54,516 Speaker 1: about our closets, because our closets especially. I think for 289 00:14:54,636 --> 00:14:56,436 Speaker 1: men this is not that much of an issue. So 290 00:14:56,476 --> 00:14:58,916 Speaker 1: I think this is more of a woman issue. But 291 00:14:59,236 --> 00:15:04,796 Speaker 1: what have you found has helped you to just kind 292 00:15:04,796 --> 00:15:07,876 Speaker 1: of like we talked about stewarding, right, like stewarting your home, 293 00:15:08,036 --> 00:15:10,996 Speaker 1: to steward your wardrobe well, and then you can give 294 00:15:11,076 --> 00:15:13,436 Speaker 1: us some tips there because you are you're so good 295 00:15:13,436 --> 00:15:13,756 Speaker 1: at this. 296 00:15:14,796 --> 00:15:18,116 Speaker 2: Well, you know it's funny, Arlie. I was really nervous 297 00:15:18,116 --> 00:15:21,236 Speaker 2: about even putting insights into this book about this topic 298 00:15:21,676 --> 00:15:26,796 Speaker 2: because I, in all honesty, I love clothes. I love fashion. 299 00:15:27,436 --> 00:15:29,876 Speaker 2: Fashion is like a polytt for me. It's like I 300 00:15:29,916 --> 00:15:32,076 Speaker 2: as just like as an artist, I want a full 301 00:15:32,116 --> 00:15:34,116 Speaker 2: palette full of lots and lots of color and lots 302 00:15:34,116 --> 00:15:37,036 Speaker 2: of interesting things. I can kind of chase a lot 303 00:15:37,076 --> 00:15:39,516 Speaker 2: of trends and a lot of interest. And I've never 304 00:15:39,556 --> 00:15:41,276 Speaker 2: met a shoe I didn't like, you know, And so 305 00:15:41,716 --> 00:15:45,316 Speaker 2: I mean, I'm just being honest and so, but I 306 00:15:45,356 --> 00:15:48,636 Speaker 2: think instead of thinking about fashion tips, it was more 307 00:15:48,716 --> 00:15:52,956 Speaker 2: that I realized my heart and recognizing how to apply 308 00:15:52,996 --> 00:15:56,916 Speaker 2: the gospel even and mundane, everyday, normal lifestyle things. Was 309 00:15:56,956 --> 00:15:59,676 Speaker 2: to say, how much time do I actually spend standing 310 00:15:59,676 --> 00:16:01,276 Speaker 2: in front of my closet trying to figure out what 311 00:16:01,356 --> 00:16:03,796 Speaker 2: to wear? And how much of that is a posture 312 00:16:03,836 --> 00:16:06,116 Speaker 2: of like who should I be and what should I 313 00:16:06,156 --> 00:16:08,396 Speaker 2: look like? And what looks good on my body? And 314 00:16:08,436 --> 00:16:11,236 Speaker 2: now I'm distracted by how I don't like my body. Well, 315 00:16:11,316 --> 00:16:14,636 Speaker 2: if we spend a little time up front thinking about, okay, 316 00:16:15,236 --> 00:16:19,076 Speaker 2: knowing my body type, knowing how to get the most 317 00:16:19,076 --> 00:16:23,316 Speaker 2: of a few key pieces. Whether you're a capsule wardrobe 318 00:16:23,316 --> 00:16:26,476 Speaker 2: person or a maximalist more like me, maybe you want 319 00:16:26,756 --> 00:16:29,836 Speaker 2: more than a capsule, but regardless, if you kind of 320 00:16:29,876 --> 00:16:34,476 Speaker 2: spend a little time understanding some concepts around fashion and 321 00:16:34,516 --> 00:16:37,796 Speaker 2: body type and color. Those kinds of things can save 322 00:16:37,836 --> 00:16:40,356 Speaker 2: you time and simplify your life. In the end, it 323 00:16:40,356 --> 00:16:43,036 Speaker 2: doesn't seem like a simplification, but really it does take 324 00:16:43,356 --> 00:16:46,996 Speaker 2: some of the overthinking and the guest work, and even 325 00:16:46,996 --> 00:16:49,556 Speaker 2: the self shaming, the part where you end up being like, 326 00:16:49,596 --> 00:16:51,556 Speaker 2: I don't want to get dressed today because I'm just 327 00:16:51,596 --> 00:16:53,716 Speaker 2: so annoyed that nothing looks good on me. Well, if 328 00:16:53,756 --> 00:16:55,916 Speaker 2: you kind of simplify and start throwing stuff out, that 329 00:16:56,276 --> 00:17:00,036 Speaker 2: doesn't work anyway. You end up with what is in 330 00:17:00,076 --> 00:17:03,676 Speaker 2: your closet that you know, like, Okay, I'm never going 331 00:17:03,756 --> 00:17:07,276 Speaker 2: to be like this is you know, I, for one, 332 00:17:07,316 --> 00:17:09,955 Speaker 2: will never put something on and be like I just 333 00:17:09,955 --> 00:17:12,076 Speaker 2: look so amazing all the time. You know, I don't 334 00:17:12,116 --> 00:17:14,236 Speaker 2: immediately feel that way, but I at least have made 335 00:17:14,996 --> 00:17:17,916 Speaker 2: pre made some decisions about what I am choosing to 336 00:17:17,955 --> 00:17:19,636 Speaker 2: wear so I don't have to or thinking in the 337 00:17:19,715 --> 00:17:22,556 Speaker 2: moment and based it on my feelings about myself. 338 00:17:22,995 --> 00:17:27,116 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's really good. Help us find a signature accessory 339 00:17:27,316 --> 00:17:29,436 Speaker 1: you talk about you right about that? So first of all, 340 00:17:29,475 --> 00:17:31,916 Speaker 1: what would that be? And then how do we find 341 00:17:31,995 --> 00:17:33,756 Speaker 1: such a thing. I think the. 342 00:17:33,676 --> 00:17:35,275 Speaker 2: Funny thing is that the more I talk about it, 343 00:17:35,316 --> 00:17:38,556 Speaker 2: the more I realize. The key here is that life 344 00:17:38,556 --> 00:17:41,555 Speaker 2: gets busy and I want to have it all, but 345 00:17:41,636 --> 00:17:44,075 Speaker 2: I can't have it all. So for me, it's six kids, 346 00:17:44,076 --> 00:17:50,676 Speaker 2: a business ministry, local church ministry, and I am so 347 00:17:50,916 --> 00:17:53,355 Speaker 2: artsy that I want to enjoy lots of things, but 348 00:17:53,436 --> 00:17:55,636 Speaker 2: I don't have time to go and I think through 349 00:17:56,515 --> 00:17:58,676 Speaker 2: my whole closet full of you know what kind of 350 00:17:58,676 --> 00:18:00,796 Speaker 2: accessories I want to wear, So I just choose one 351 00:18:00,836 --> 00:18:03,636 Speaker 2: thing and I stick to it. So for years I 352 00:18:03,715 --> 00:18:06,795 Speaker 2: wore one particular turquoise ring and I just said, you 353 00:18:06,796 --> 00:18:08,755 Speaker 2: know what, turquoise is a neutral. I'm not going to 354 00:18:08,836 --> 00:18:12,516 Speaker 2: even worry about whether this matches anything. It's I I've 355 00:18:12,515 --> 00:18:15,916 Speaker 2: always lived kind of in the Southwest, and so turquoise 356 00:18:16,116 --> 00:18:20,076 Speaker 2: is kind of common around Colorado. Knew my civill California, 357 00:18:20,235 --> 00:18:23,275 Speaker 2: and so so I'm even wearing one right now. But 358 00:18:23,556 --> 00:18:27,116 Speaker 2: it's always what I always put one on, and I 359 00:18:27,556 --> 00:18:31,636 Speaker 2: just choose. For me, it's that I always choose to 360 00:18:32,235 --> 00:18:36,715 Speaker 2: wear instead of investing in a lot of costume jewelry. 361 00:18:36,755 --> 00:18:38,356 Speaker 2: This is I did that kind of when I was 362 00:18:38,356 --> 00:18:41,315 Speaker 2: a little younger. I now buy like sterling silver or 363 00:18:41,356 --> 00:18:45,995 Speaker 2: I buy gold, you know, gold filled or gold pieces 364 00:18:46,196 --> 00:18:47,996 Speaker 2: so that I don't have to take them off and 365 00:18:48,596 --> 00:18:51,236 Speaker 2: I just don't have the mental energy to take things 366 00:18:51,316 --> 00:18:54,836 Speaker 2: on and off or choose earrings. And if that's fun 367 00:18:54,876 --> 00:18:58,196 Speaker 2: for you, absolutely, but I think sometimes choosing a signature 368 00:18:58,235 --> 00:19:00,515 Speaker 2: thing and just saying I'm going to stick with us 369 00:19:00,515 --> 00:19:02,836 Speaker 2: for a while takes the guestwork out of that as well. 370 00:19:03,596 --> 00:19:05,475 Speaker 1: You know, and we're talking about this, you know, some 371 00:19:05,475 --> 00:19:07,516 Speaker 1: people would be like, where are we talking about this ring? 372 00:19:07,636 --> 00:19:10,476 Speaker 1: But this is talking about like this beauty in our 373 00:19:10,515 --> 00:19:14,316 Speaker 1: lives that can be very simple and very fast, and 374 00:19:14,356 --> 00:19:17,115 Speaker 1: how can we create more margin in our lives than 375 00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:20,515 Speaker 1: the other things. I want to talk about looking your 376 00:19:20,556 --> 00:19:23,836 Speaker 1: children in the eyes and just what you've learned about that, 377 00:19:24,116 --> 00:19:28,356 Speaker 1: and remind us the ages of your youngest to your oldest. 378 00:19:29,035 --> 00:19:31,995 Speaker 2: Yeah, my youngest is now thirteen and my oldest is 379 00:19:32,035 --> 00:19:36,636 Speaker 2: twenty four. And so when I first was wrapping my 380 00:19:37,316 --> 00:19:40,115 Speaker 2: mind around this idea of getting on their level, they 381 00:19:40,156 --> 00:19:43,755 Speaker 2: were a lot younger. Because I always have this sense 382 00:19:43,755 --> 00:19:46,396 Speaker 2: of wanting to like just bark out the orders and 383 00:19:46,636 --> 00:19:48,676 Speaker 2: like look across the room and be like, if I 384 00:19:48,755 --> 00:19:51,116 Speaker 2: say do this, you should already you know you shouldn't 385 00:19:51,116 --> 00:19:52,955 Speaker 2: do an uondry why I don't have their attention. And 386 00:19:52,995 --> 00:19:55,156 Speaker 2: so this idea of looking your child in the eye 387 00:19:55,356 --> 00:19:58,755 Speaker 2: really came out of a season where they were smaller, 388 00:19:59,156 --> 00:20:01,396 Speaker 2: and I realized, like it was so much more effective 389 00:20:01,396 --> 00:20:03,796 Speaker 2: if I would just get down on their level, squat down, 390 00:20:04,275 --> 00:20:06,995 Speaker 2: look them straight in the eye, and really have their 391 00:20:07,035 --> 00:20:09,755 Speaker 2: full attention, hold their hands or hold their face, or 392 00:20:10,035 --> 00:20:12,715 Speaker 2: be a little bit more intimate and say whatever I 393 00:20:12,755 --> 00:20:14,876 Speaker 2: have to say here, whether it's hard or it's good 394 00:20:15,235 --> 00:20:20,396 Speaker 2: celebratory or you know, constructive criticism, whatever it is, I'm 395 00:20:20,396 --> 00:20:22,276 Speaker 2: going to look you in the eye because I want 396 00:20:22,275 --> 00:20:24,555 Speaker 2: you to know that this matters to me. You know, 397 00:20:24,636 --> 00:20:28,116 Speaker 2: it's interesting as we I'm sitting here thinking, okay, the 398 00:20:28,196 --> 00:20:31,156 Speaker 2: Jex's position as somebody's listening if you know whoever's listening 399 00:20:31,436 --> 00:20:35,396 Speaker 2: on a driver or uh, you know, a commute, I'm 400 00:20:35,436 --> 00:20:37,715 Speaker 2: just thinking, we just talked about a ring, and then 401 00:20:37,715 --> 00:20:41,115 Speaker 2: we just talked about children, and like somebody might be like, 402 00:20:41,475 --> 00:20:44,676 Speaker 2: what are we talking about here? How are these all connected? 403 00:20:45,076 --> 00:20:46,715 Speaker 2: And I love Arlene, what you were saying just a 404 00:20:46,755 --> 00:20:49,515 Speaker 2: little bit earlier, because I think I want to pull 405 00:20:49,515 --> 00:20:52,355 Speaker 2: it all together for us and say I think The 406 00:20:52,436 --> 00:20:56,995 Speaker 2: thing that we underestimate is that small little choices in 407 00:20:57,035 --> 00:21:00,355 Speaker 2: our day to day actually have great impact. So meaning 408 00:21:00,836 --> 00:21:03,515 Speaker 2: we go through our days and we think while I 409 00:21:03,515 --> 00:21:06,715 Speaker 2: don't know why, like I don't my kids are barely 410 00:21:06,715 --> 00:21:08,875 Speaker 2: paying attention to me. I feel like I've said this 411 00:21:08,916 --> 00:21:11,515 Speaker 2: a million times and it just goes over their heads. 412 00:21:11,916 --> 00:21:17,436 Speaker 2: Well maybe it's because it's gotten so like the sound 413 00:21:17,475 --> 00:21:19,676 Speaker 2: of your voice is just care through the house and 414 00:21:19,715 --> 00:21:22,436 Speaker 2: you're just yelling and they're just going, okay, there she 415 00:21:22,515 --> 00:21:26,475 Speaker 2: goes again, versus that one small choice of saying, I'm 416 00:21:26,475 --> 00:21:29,035 Speaker 2: going to put my phone down, I'm going to not 417 00:21:29,076 --> 00:21:31,396 Speaker 2: be distracted. I'm going to look you in the eye 418 00:21:31,436 --> 00:21:34,755 Speaker 2: because you matter to me and this conversation we're having 419 00:21:34,796 --> 00:21:37,836 Speaker 2: in this moment really matters, And I'm going to make 420 00:21:37,836 --> 00:21:39,596 Speaker 2: sure you hear every word. And then I'm going to 421 00:21:39,636 --> 00:21:41,796 Speaker 2: ask you to repeat back to me what you heard. 422 00:21:42,035 --> 00:21:44,275 Speaker 2: And that can't happen from across the room. That happens 423 00:21:44,316 --> 00:21:46,635 Speaker 2: when you're looking somebody in the eye. And why does 424 00:21:46,676 --> 00:21:50,075 Speaker 2: that have to do with you know, clothing or home 425 00:21:50,356 --> 00:21:54,275 Speaker 2: or accessories. Well, I think part of it is that 426 00:21:54,316 --> 00:21:57,035 Speaker 2: we are so distracted that we can't make time for 427 00:21:57,116 --> 00:22:00,836 Speaker 2: things that actually matter, or be intentional about that conversation, 428 00:22:01,076 --> 00:22:02,876 Speaker 2: whether you're looking your spouse in the eye, or your 429 00:22:02,955 --> 00:22:04,916 Speaker 2: child in the eye, or your best friend in the 430 00:22:04,916 --> 00:22:07,156 Speaker 2: eye and being like, I'm going to be intentional to 431 00:22:07,196 --> 00:22:09,275 Speaker 2: make eye contact and say this important thing to you. 432 00:22:09,596 --> 00:22:12,916 Speaker 2: That takes intentionality. And if I'm spending all my time 433 00:22:13,436 --> 00:22:18,196 Speaker 2: judging myself, over analyzing things, thinking about how things look, 434 00:22:18,356 --> 00:22:21,316 Speaker 2: and d staying on this shallow level of like how 435 00:22:21,356 --> 00:22:24,356 Speaker 2: to survive, I'm never going to get to the deeper 436 00:22:24,396 --> 00:22:28,035 Speaker 2: layer of how God's gonna ask me to step into 437 00:22:28,235 --> 00:22:32,116 Speaker 2: the day He's given me carrying the Gospel into all 438 00:22:32,116 --> 00:22:35,156 Speaker 2: the conversations and all the opportunities I have. And so 439 00:22:35,755 --> 00:22:39,515 Speaker 2: while one thing might seem shallow like a ring or 440 00:22:39,515 --> 00:22:42,835 Speaker 2: an accessory or clothes, and another might seem deep like 441 00:22:43,116 --> 00:22:47,196 Speaker 2: discipleship and conversation. I really think I don't know about you, 442 00:22:47,235 --> 00:22:49,315 Speaker 2: But every morning I get up and I have to 443 00:22:49,316 --> 00:22:52,355 Speaker 2: brush my teeth and empty the dishwasher and put clothes on. 444 00:22:52,475 --> 00:22:55,755 Speaker 2: And that's just the mundane every day. And my desire 445 00:22:56,076 --> 00:22:59,555 Speaker 2: is for us, as believers, and if we're parents, to 446 00:22:59,836 --> 00:23:03,916 Speaker 2: recognize that the spiritual stuff doesn't happen outside of all 447 00:23:03,955 --> 00:23:06,436 Speaker 2: the things that we're given to do in twenty four hours, 448 00:23:06,556 --> 00:23:09,315 Speaker 2: that it happens within those times. So even how the 449 00:23:09,316 --> 00:23:12,556 Speaker 2: little choices you make to make your bed or get 450 00:23:12,676 --> 00:23:15,475 Speaker 2: dressed and not make it a big fussy thing, but 451 00:23:15,676 --> 00:23:19,795 Speaker 2: enjoy your day and represent Christ even in the loveliness 452 00:23:19,796 --> 00:23:22,636 Speaker 2: that you carry around with you, that matters, and it 453 00:23:22,715 --> 00:23:26,116 Speaker 2: ultimately gives you time for the conversations that truly matter. 454 00:23:26,715 --> 00:23:29,836 Speaker 1: The meal that happens, the conversation that happens over that meal, 455 00:23:30,035 --> 00:23:32,995 Speaker 1: that all these things matter. I mean, that is your book. 456 00:23:33,196 --> 00:23:36,755 Speaker 1: This moment matters a hundred ways to cultivate a grace 457 00:23:36,876 --> 00:23:40,115 Speaker 1: lace to life, to help us with a soothing evening 458 00:23:40,196 --> 00:23:43,036 Speaker 1: routine as we start to wrap up, help, what might 459 00:23:43,116 --> 00:23:43,755 Speaker 1: that look like? 460 00:23:46,116 --> 00:23:49,876 Speaker 2: I am a work in progress in this, I really have. 461 00:23:50,076 --> 00:23:53,796 Speaker 2: This is one of the ones. This is one absolutely 462 00:23:54,156 --> 00:23:56,075 Speaker 2: the one hundred ways. I would say this is the 463 00:23:56,116 --> 00:23:59,515 Speaker 2: most like in progress way, because I think for many, 464 00:23:59,556 --> 00:24:02,515 Speaker 2: many years I would just hustle all the way to 465 00:24:02,556 --> 00:24:06,035 Speaker 2: the finish line. Because if you're a mama of young people, 466 00:24:06,116 --> 00:24:10,315 Speaker 2: like you finally get them to bed and they stop 467 00:24:10,676 --> 00:24:13,475 Speaker 2: crying or fussing or needing things, and they're finally asleep 468 00:24:13,515 --> 00:24:15,515 Speaker 2: and you're like, now is the time I'm going to 469 00:24:15,596 --> 00:24:18,755 Speaker 2: either reply to emails or watch my favorite show or 470 00:24:18,995 --> 00:24:20,916 Speaker 2: away laundry, and you're going and going and going going, 471 00:24:21,196 --> 00:24:23,156 Speaker 2: And I can think of all these years where I 472 00:24:23,275 --> 00:24:26,156 Speaker 2: rolled into bed and I was like too tired, didn't 473 00:24:26,196 --> 00:24:29,676 Speaker 2: take my makeup off, didn't read a book, wasn't like 474 00:24:29,796 --> 00:24:33,715 Speaker 2: taking time. And then when my phone became more permanent 475 00:24:33,755 --> 00:24:35,715 Speaker 2: accessory in my life, there would be times where I 476 00:24:35,715 --> 00:24:38,596 Speaker 2: brush my teeth and like scroll something, and then scrolling 477 00:24:38,715 --> 00:24:40,875 Speaker 2: was the last thing I did before bed, And so 478 00:24:40,955 --> 00:24:43,276 Speaker 2: I think I've had to really stop and say, Okay, 479 00:24:43,755 --> 00:24:46,676 Speaker 2: who do I want to be in five ten years? 480 00:24:46,955 --> 00:24:49,276 Speaker 2: And is this this? This is the routine I want 481 00:24:49,316 --> 00:24:52,596 Speaker 2: to establish. And then of course my husband started getting 482 00:24:52,596 --> 00:24:55,995 Speaker 2: real on me about you know, the light that was 483 00:24:56,035 --> 00:24:58,676 Speaker 2: getting in my eyes at night and just going we 484 00:24:58,755 --> 00:25:01,876 Speaker 2: need to like start turning down lights and start not 485 00:25:02,235 --> 00:25:04,676 Speaker 2: you know, having any screen time, all those things. And 486 00:25:04,755 --> 00:25:08,315 Speaker 2: so some of those habits came out of just being 487 00:25:08,436 --> 00:25:11,555 Speaker 2: healthy in those ways. But I realized how much my 488 00:25:11,676 --> 00:25:14,555 Speaker 2: mind needed to calm down at night. And so now 489 00:25:14,715 --> 00:25:17,916 Speaker 2: I'm I mean, I do not do this perfectly. This 490 00:25:18,035 --> 00:25:20,275 Speaker 2: is not like, oh goodness, I've got two hours of 491 00:25:20,275 --> 00:25:22,676 Speaker 2: this ritual. No, no, no, It's more like most of 492 00:25:22,715 --> 00:25:26,156 Speaker 2: the time thinking, hey, let me start head. I need 493 00:25:26,196 --> 00:25:28,916 Speaker 2: to start wrapping up this convo with this teenager. You know, 494 00:25:29,475 --> 00:25:31,715 Speaker 2: we've always got a teenager who needs to talk, and 495 00:25:31,755 --> 00:25:34,235 Speaker 2: so got to kind of wrap this up, or would 496 00:25:34,235 --> 00:25:35,916 Speaker 2: you like to follow me upstairs? I got to start 497 00:25:35,955 --> 00:25:38,156 Speaker 2: working my way towards so then I clear off my 498 00:25:38,235 --> 00:25:41,996 Speaker 2: bed and put away the laundry or start the evening routine. 499 00:25:42,035 --> 00:25:44,835 Speaker 2: And now I'm really realizing how much I need to 500 00:25:44,836 --> 00:25:47,196 Speaker 2: have my phone off and I need to turn the 501 00:25:47,275 --> 00:25:50,875 Speaker 2: lights lower. I need to spend some time like dealing 502 00:25:50,916 --> 00:25:54,475 Speaker 2: with this perimenopausal face, the skin that needs a little help, 503 00:25:54,556 --> 00:25:56,916 Speaker 2: you know, and just taking care of myself a little 504 00:25:56,916 --> 00:26:01,115 Speaker 2: bit before bed. And this really helped with just calming 505 00:26:01,156 --> 00:26:03,835 Speaker 2: the nervous system and not going to bed with a 506 00:26:03,955 --> 00:26:08,636 Speaker 2: million thoughts and hoping somehow to not stress out in 507 00:26:08,636 --> 00:26:10,276 Speaker 2: the middle of the night about it. So now I'm 508 00:26:10,275 --> 00:26:12,635 Speaker 2: taking it to the Lord and just kind of creating 509 00:26:12,676 --> 00:26:14,396 Speaker 2: more of a rhythm of self care at night. 510 00:26:15,475 --> 00:26:18,156 Speaker 1: Yeah. I like even how you've talked about the accessory 511 00:26:18,196 --> 00:26:22,516 Speaker 1: being your phone and for us as parents and spouses 512 00:26:22,556 --> 00:26:25,436 Speaker 1: to think. Wait, I hope my loved one doesn't always 513 00:26:25,515 --> 00:26:29,515 Speaker 1: picture me with this phone in mind, right, And that's 514 00:26:29,755 --> 00:26:33,235 Speaker 1: a lot of us so for us to realize. You know, 515 00:26:33,356 --> 00:26:36,355 Speaker 1: if we were to make action figure of ourselves, you 516 00:26:36,356 --> 00:26:38,836 Speaker 1: would hope that you would be immortalized without a phone 517 00:26:38,876 --> 00:26:41,796 Speaker 1: in your hand. So let us be known in our 518 00:26:41,836 --> 00:26:44,515 Speaker 1: homes as being fully present. It doesn't mean you have 519 00:26:44,556 --> 00:26:46,716 Speaker 1: to follow your children around twenty four hours a day. 520 00:26:46,836 --> 00:26:48,876 Speaker 1: What do you need to know, but when they're talking 521 00:26:48,876 --> 00:26:51,116 Speaker 1: with you, when you're having those moments, that that phone 522 00:26:51,196 --> 00:26:52,276 Speaker 1: is not present at all. 523 00:26:52,596 --> 00:26:54,235 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, that would be really important. 524 00:26:55,356 --> 00:26:57,955 Speaker 1: Tell us anything about your book that we haven't touched 525 00:26:57,995 --> 00:27:00,795 Speaker 1: on that you want to that you want to mention today. 526 00:27:01,715 --> 00:27:06,356 Speaker 2: Well, you know, if anyone listening, I mean for new friends, 527 00:27:06,475 --> 00:27:11,835 Speaker 2: I hope you know that I genuinely generally spend a 528 00:27:11,836 --> 00:27:14,475 Speaker 2: lot of time just sharing the Word of God and 529 00:27:14,475 --> 00:27:15,916 Speaker 2: how to apply it to our lives. So this is 530 00:27:15,955 --> 00:27:18,516 Speaker 2: a really different kind of book for me. But I 531 00:27:18,556 --> 00:27:21,836 Speaker 2: hope that this ends up serving as something where if 532 00:27:21,836 --> 00:27:24,356 Speaker 2: you gift it to even a non believer, it's an 533 00:27:24,356 --> 00:27:27,876 Speaker 2: opportunity for them to see the Gospel in small, gracious 534 00:27:27,916 --> 00:27:31,116 Speaker 2: ways in our everyday lives, just wooing them in to 535 00:27:31,235 --> 00:27:33,955 Speaker 2: a good, good God. But if you are somebody who 536 00:27:34,836 --> 00:27:37,116 Speaker 2: has read my other books, you probably are very aware 537 00:27:37,156 --> 00:27:40,275 Speaker 2: that I'm going to go into theology and the attributes 538 00:27:40,275 --> 00:27:44,556 Speaker 2: of God and all these biblical concepts. And I think 539 00:27:44,636 --> 00:27:47,916 Speaker 2: this book is a response to all the emails that 540 00:27:47,955 --> 00:27:52,035 Speaker 2: I get that have nothing to do with how to 541 00:27:52,275 --> 00:27:54,955 Speaker 2: understand God's word, but how to live life. I just 542 00:27:54,995 --> 00:27:59,755 Speaker 2: get so many emails from and comments of people saying, well, 543 00:27:59,836 --> 00:28:02,955 Speaker 2: what does this look like when I'm doing this? Or Ruth, 544 00:28:03,676 --> 00:28:05,756 Speaker 2: how do you find you know? How do you make 545 00:28:05,796 --> 00:28:08,396 Speaker 2: time for this and that? And so this book really 546 00:28:08,515 --> 00:28:12,276 Speaker 2: is me saying, as whole people, we're not just one 547 00:28:12,316 --> 00:28:16,436 Speaker 2: person on Sunday and another person Monday through Saturday. We 548 00:28:16,755 --> 00:28:20,755 Speaker 2: are like, we're this embodied whole person who is living 549 00:28:20,995 --> 00:28:23,755 Speaker 2: out the Gospel in our daily lives. And some moments 550 00:28:23,796 --> 00:28:27,356 Speaker 2: are going to be explicitly about Jesus, and some moments 551 00:28:27,396 --> 00:28:30,396 Speaker 2: we're gonna have a posture of worship as we do 552 00:28:30,475 --> 00:28:33,356 Speaker 2: the dishes, as we care for the plants in our home. 553 00:28:33,475 --> 00:28:36,955 Speaker 2: And there's some fun there's just fun projects. Even in 554 00:28:36,995 --> 00:28:39,156 Speaker 2: this one, I share little basics on how to water 555 00:28:39,236 --> 00:28:41,916 Speaker 2: color since that's my medium of choice in the season. 556 00:28:42,476 --> 00:28:46,476 Speaker 2: Or there's even my favorite recipes that I just kind 557 00:28:46,476 --> 00:28:48,876 Speaker 2: of pull out every time. I just know them by 558 00:28:48,916 --> 00:28:50,956 Speaker 2: heart and I just do it easily if somebody comes 559 00:28:50,956 --> 00:28:53,036 Speaker 2: over and I need something ready to go. And so 560 00:28:54,316 --> 00:28:57,396 Speaker 2: I hope that my prayer is that this book would 561 00:28:57,436 --> 00:29:00,315 Speaker 2: be just like a big sigh of like, oh, this 562 00:29:00,436 --> 00:29:02,236 Speaker 2: is like having a friend come over and just be like, 563 00:29:02,316 --> 00:29:06,076 Speaker 2: let's swap stories of how we live out our Christian 564 00:29:06,116 --> 00:29:09,756 Speaker 2: lives in a way that honors the Lord but stewards 565 00:29:09,796 --> 00:29:11,436 Speaker 2: our everyday lives really really well. 566 00:29:12,076 --> 00:29:15,635 Speaker 1: Yeah, so beautiful. The Gospel truly changes everything. How we 567 00:29:15,676 --> 00:29:17,716 Speaker 1: do our dishes, how we do our laundry, how we 568 00:29:17,756 --> 00:29:20,316 Speaker 1: talk to our kids and our spouses, and it changes 569 00:29:20,356 --> 00:29:22,956 Speaker 1: it in all the best ways. Ruth, thank you so 570 00:29:23,036 --> 00:29:24,916 Speaker 1: much for being with us. How can people find out 571 00:29:24,956 --> 00:29:29,196 Speaker 1: more about you and about your book? This moment matters Well, 572 00:29:29,236 --> 00:29:32,876 Speaker 1: I'd love to connect. I'm regularly on Instagram at ri 573 00:29:33,076 --> 00:29:38,236 Speaker 1: Joe Cibons that's our ut cchou sim Ons, and you 574 00:29:38,316 --> 00:29:41,676 Speaker 1: can learn all by my artwork at grace lace dot 575 00:29:41,716 --> 00:29:45,836 Speaker 1: com and books wherever books are sold. So thank you 576 00:29:45,916 --> 00:29:47,636 Speaker 1: so much for having me. Oh we'll have all those 577 00:29:47,636 --> 00:29:51,436 Speaker 1: links in the show notes. Thank you so much. I 578 00:29:51,436 --> 00:29:54,796 Speaker 1: hope you've enjoyed today's conversation. I'd love to keep in 579 00:29:54,836 --> 00:29:58,676 Speaker 1: touch beyond this podcast. Click subscribe in the show notes 580 00:29:58,796 --> 00:30:01,236 Speaker 1: and I will give you my latest email to keep 581 00:30:01,316 --> 00:30:05,196 Speaker 1: up on what's happening with technology and kids. And maybe 582 00:30:05,236 --> 00:30:07,956 Speaker 1: you like reading or listening to books. I have a 583 00:30:08,036 --> 00:30:10,556 Speaker 1: lot of books. You could start with The Big Three, 584 00:30:11,036 --> 00:30:16,196 Speaker 1: Making Marriage Easier, Parents Rising, or Screen Kids. A big 585 00:30:16,236 --> 00:30:18,356 Speaker 1: thank you to the team at Life Audio for their 586 00:30:18,396 --> 00:30:22,316 Speaker 1: partnership with the Happy Home podcast. Check out liveaudio dot 587 00:30:22,316 --> 00:30:25,996 Speaker 1: com for dozens of other faith related podcasts about prayer, 588 00:30:26,316 --> 00:30:30,076 Speaker 1: Bible study, and more. Remember you don't have to come 589 00:30:30,116 --> 00:30:33,236 Speaker 1: from a happy home to create one. You two can 590 00:30:33,356 --> 00:30:34,676 Speaker 1: have a happy homes.