1 00:00:02,680 --> 00:00:06,560 Speaker 1: Life audio. The next day, we're in the pool. 2 00:00:06,840 --> 00:00:08,520 Speaker 2: We go up to the swimmu bar and he gets 3 00:00:08,520 --> 00:00:12,000 Speaker 2: his beer and I get like a virgin Pina Colada. 4 00:00:12,080 --> 00:00:15,120 Speaker 2: We were standing there and I said to him, being 5 00:00:15,160 --> 00:00:19,000 Speaker 2: alcohol free is a lifestyle, not a life sentence. That 6 00:00:19,239 --> 00:00:23,040 Speaker 2: is what I truly believe. It's a lifestyle. You don't 7 00:00:23,079 --> 00:00:25,319 Speaker 2: have to have a rock bottom, and it isn't a 8 00:00:25,360 --> 00:00:26,840 Speaker 2: life sentence. It's amazing. 9 00:00:29,240 --> 00:00:32,320 Speaker 3: Welcome to Love Life Sober. I'm your host and your coach, 10 00:00:32,479 --> 00:00:35,480 Speaker 3: Christy Osborne. This podcast is for the woman who loves 11 00:00:35,560 --> 00:00:38,480 Speaker 3: Jesus or is longing to reconnect with him, and who 12 00:00:38,520 --> 00:00:41,640 Speaker 3: knows deep down that alcohol is no longer serving her. 13 00:00:41,920 --> 00:00:44,720 Speaker 3: Here we talk honestly, with grace and truth about how 14 00:00:44,720 --> 00:00:48,560 Speaker 3: stepping away from alcohol opens the door to the love, joy, 15 00:00:48,920 --> 00:00:52,640 Speaker 3: peace and connection you've been searching for. Because, Babe, those 16 00:00:52,640 --> 00:00:54,520 Speaker 3: things were never meant to be found in a bottle 17 00:00:54,560 --> 00:00:59,040 Speaker 3: of wine, They're found in Jesus. Through scripture, coaching and neuroscience, 18 00:00:59,360 --> 00:01:02,120 Speaker 3: I'll help you make sense of your habits, your nervous system, 19 00:01:02,440 --> 00:01:05,280 Speaker 3: and what you're really craving, so that freedom feels not 20 00:01:05,319 --> 00:01:09,480 Speaker 3: only possible but sustainable. You don't have to do this alone, Babe, 21 00:01:09,600 --> 00:01:14,920 Speaker 3: let's dive in. Hello, my beautiful friend, Welcome to the podcast. 22 00:01:15,680 --> 00:01:19,880 Speaker 3: I am so excited that our June forty day Alcohol 23 00:01:19,920 --> 00:01:24,440 Speaker 3: Fast starts Monday, so the countdown is on, the space 24 00:01:24,560 --> 00:01:29,199 Speaker 3: has been opened in the community, and today you get 25 00:01:29,200 --> 00:01:32,840 Speaker 3: to hear from one of our incredible coaches, my friend 26 00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:37,840 Speaker 3: Susan Larkin. We are going to talk all about summer 27 00:01:37,920 --> 00:01:42,400 Speaker 3: and vacations today. If you've read Love Life Sober yet, 28 00:01:42,480 --> 00:01:44,640 Speaker 3: you know that in the book, I talk about how 29 00:01:45,160 --> 00:01:49,040 Speaker 3: summer gets a special mention because of all the ways 30 00:01:49,040 --> 00:01:51,760 Speaker 3: that alcohol is thrown into our face. Today, we're going 31 00:01:51,800 --> 00:01:54,840 Speaker 3: to talk about how that happens on vacation and how 32 00:01:55,000 --> 00:01:58,560 Speaker 3: you can prepare for that. Susan Larkin is a alcohol 33 00:01:58,600 --> 00:02:02,280 Speaker 3: freedom coach as a podcast and again, she is one 34 00:02:02,320 --> 00:02:05,240 Speaker 3: of our coaches in Love Life Sober as well as 35 00:02:05,240 --> 00:02:08,840 Speaker 3: a Fast captain, and today she's going to share all 36 00:02:08,880 --> 00:02:12,400 Speaker 3: about how vacation used to be the thing that pulled 37 00:02:12,400 --> 00:02:15,920 Speaker 3: her back into drinking, from Vegas to Wine Country to 38 00:02:15,960 --> 00:02:18,880 Speaker 3: be trips where the question was always how am I 39 00:02:18,919 --> 00:02:22,760 Speaker 3: going to get through this without drinking? But everything changed 40 00:02:22,800 --> 00:02:26,600 Speaker 3: when she learned to plan ahead, stay connected to her why, 41 00:02:27,000 --> 00:02:31,320 Speaker 3: and practice doing vacation differently. In this episode, we're going 42 00:02:31,400 --> 00:02:35,480 Speaker 3: to talk about why vacations feel triggering, how Susan's first 43 00:02:35,520 --> 00:02:39,280 Speaker 3: alcohol free vacation helped build her confidence, and how to 44 00:02:39,360 --> 00:02:42,920 Speaker 3: plan for alcohol free travels before you go. We're going 45 00:02:42,960 --> 00:02:46,920 Speaker 3: to talk about mocktails and morning routine and visualization exercises 46 00:02:47,200 --> 00:02:50,400 Speaker 3: and everything to get you prepped for your next alcohol 47 00:02:50,480 --> 00:02:54,440 Speaker 3: free vacation. If you've ever thought I can't start now 48 00:02:54,480 --> 00:02:58,040 Speaker 3: because I have a vacation coming up, or vacation won't 49 00:02:58,040 --> 00:03:02,200 Speaker 3: be fun without wine or Margarita's, then babe, this episode 50 00:03:02,400 --> 00:03:05,160 Speaker 3: is for you. And if you want to join Susan 51 00:03:05,200 --> 00:03:08,440 Speaker 3: and I in the June forty day Fast, which starts 52 00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:11,520 Speaker 3: on June first, there is a link to join us 53 00:03:11,639 --> 00:03:14,480 Speaker 3: in the show notes. I can't wait to walk these 54 00:03:14,520 --> 00:03:17,280 Speaker 3: six weeks with you. It's going to be really, really special. 55 00:03:17,560 --> 00:03:20,239 Speaker 3: I will see you in the Love Life of Sober Community. Okay, 56 00:03:20,280 --> 00:03:24,560 Speaker 3: my friend, Here is my conversation with my friend Susan Larkin. 57 00:03:25,200 --> 00:03:28,360 Speaker 1: How are you. I'm good, so glad to be here. 58 00:03:28,880 --> 00:03:29,720 Speaker 1: What I really want to. 59 00:03:29,639 --> 00:03:35,160 Speaker 3: Talk about today is alcohol free vacations. And first of all, 60 00:03:35,240 --> 00:03:37,600 Speaker 3: let's tell a little bit of your story and why 61 00:03:37,640 --> 00:03:40,600 Speaker 3: you're so passionate about talking about this. But then I 62 00:03:40,680 --> 00:03:44,280 Speaker 3: really want to encourage the listener who's at every stage 63 00:03:44,320 --> 00:03:46,480 Speaker 3: of her journey, right, whether it's at the beginning and 64 00:03:46,520 --> 00:03:48,840 Speaker 3: she's like, I have a vacation coming up in three months, 65 00:03:48,840 --> 00:03:53,680 Speaker 3: therefore I can't start an alcohol free journey now, or 66 00:03:53,720 --> 00:03:56,560 Speaker 3: the person that's like a little bit into their journey 67 00:03:56,560 --> 00:03:58,880 Speaker 3: and they're like, oh my gosh, it's vacation's coming up. 68 00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:02,920 Speaker 3: So yeah, yeah, talk to the listener first about a 69 00:04:02,920 --> 00:04:06,480 Speaker 3: little bit about your story and why you love talking 70 00:04:06,560 --> 00:04:07,400 Speaker 3: about this topic. 71 00:04:08,080 --> 00:04:10,600 Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, I do love talking about it. 72 00:04:11,400 --> 00:04:14,920 Speaker 2: Well, so my story is, you know, I started questioning 73 00:04:14,960 --> 00:04:18,479 Speaker 2: my drinking really early on when I just started using 74 00:04:18,680 --> 00:04:22,440 Speaker 2: alcohol after work. A few glasses of wine, as we know, 75 00:04:22,600 --> 00:04:25,880 Speaker 2: goes one or two turns into three tunes into how 76 00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:28,360 Speaker 2: you know it's amazing that you can drink a whole bottle? 77 00:04:29,240 --> 00:04:31,239 Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, And I always, you know, I always 78 00:04:31,640 --> 00:04:32,640 Speaker 3: know what you're talking about. 79 00:04:32,839 --> 00:04:35,679 Speaker 2: No, no, I always used to leave like an inch 80 00:04:35,800 --> 00:04:37,800 Speaker 2: maybe two inches in the bottom of the bottle just 81 00:04:37,839 --> 00:04:40,880 Speaker 2: to say I didn't drink the whole bottle, like that 82 00:04:41,120 --> 00:04:43,360 Speaker 2: is why. And then you know, you see those memes 83 00:04:43,360 --> 00:04:45,320 Speaker 2: about what do you do with leftover wine? 84 00:04:45,440 --> 00:04:46,760 Speaker 1: You know, make ice cubes or whatever. 85 00:04:46,760 --> 00:04:52,000 Speaker 2: And I was always like, what's leftover wine? So yeah, 86 00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:55,919 Speaker 2: but so the Holy Spirit was just really though convicting me, 87 00:04:56,480 --> 00:04:57,599 Speaker 2: you know about it. 88 00:04:57,680 --> 00:04:59,440 Speaker 1: Just I just knew that that was too much wine. 89 00:04:59,480 --> 00:05:01,719 Speaker 2: Like I even I knew the dietary guidelines at that 90 00:05:01,839 --> 00:05:05,680 Speaker 2: time were, you know, seven drinks a week for women, 91 00:05:06,440 --> 00:05:10,359 Speaker 2: and I was very aware of that. And I was 92 00:05:10,400 --> 00:05:12,920 Speaker 2: aware of the breast cancer risks as well, and I 93 00:05:12,920 --> 00:05:15,320 Speaker 2: have my maternal grandmother had breast cancer. 94 00:05:15,360 --> 00:05:18,960 Speaker 1: So immediately I knew this, you know, this is too much. 95 00:05:19,839 --> 00:05:23,599 Speaker 2: And the minute you start to try to control it, though, 96 00:05:24,360 --> 00:05:25,440 Speaker 2: you know, you start counting. 97 00:05:25,480 --> 00:05:27,320 Speaker 1: I have journals, journals where it's. 98 00:05:27,120 --> 00:05:29,440 Speaker 2: Like, you know, I counted how many glasses of wine 99 00:05:29,440 --> 00:05:31,599 Speaker 2: I had, or I remember I was, you know, putting 100 00:05:31,640 --> 00:05:34,640 Speaker 2: it into my Fitness Pal, you know that one where 101 00:05:34,680 --> 00:05:38,000 Speaker 2: you put in your calories, and I would even fudget there. 102 00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:39,719 Speaker 2: I would say, oh, you know, one serving, but my 103 00:05:40,080 --> 00:05:41,960 Speaker 2: glass wasn't you know, five ounces. 104 00:05:42,279 --> 00:05:44,719 Speaker 1: So you know, we do all those tricks. 105 00:05:44,760 --> 00:05:48,680 Speaker 2: But so early on I mentioned to my pastor, I 106 00:05:48,720 --> 00:05:50,640 Speaker 2: always I felt like I was having, you know, drinking 107 00:05:50,640 --> 00:05:52,240 Speaker 2: a little too much, and they were like, oh, if 108 00:05:52,240 --> 00:05:53,719 Speaker 2: you feel like you're drinking too much, you need to 109 00:05:53,720 --> 00:05:55,960 Speaker 2: go to AA. And I was just like that was 110 00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:58,039 Speaker 2: a little light, you know, and I was like, okay, 111 00:05:58,320 --> 00:06:02,520 Speaker 2: you know, so I went hit AA, and I just 112 00:06:02,640 --> 00:06:07,440 Speaker 2: didn't feel like, I think it's a great, you know, organization, 113 00:06:07,880 --> 00:06:10,320 Speaker 2: you know, for some people, but it just wasn't for me. 114 00:06:10,480 --> 00:06:12,840 Speaker 1: Like I just looked around and didn't find my people. 115 00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:15,440 Speaker 2: You know. There were a lot of people court mandated people, 116 00:06:16,640 --> 00:06:18,240 Speaker 2: and I just looked around and I was like, where 117 00:06:18,240 --> 00:06:19,720 Speaker 2: are the people that just drink a little too much 118 00:06:19,760 --> 00:06:21,560 Speaker 2: white wine, you know, three or four nights. 119 00:06:21,320 --> 00:06:24,880 Speaker 1: A week, you know. And so I stayed for a while. 120 00:06:24,920 --> 00:06:29,760 Speaker 2: I felt really good about not drinking, but I also 121 00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:33,039 Speaker 2: didn't feel like I had a disease. It was so 122 00:06:33,279 --> 00:06:37,000 Speaker 2: shame based and I already had shame issues. So I 123 00:06:37,080 --> 00:06:39,799 Speaker 2: went back, you know, and I went back to drinking. 124 00:06:39,920 --> 00:06:42,200 Speaker 2: And the decision to go back to drinking was because 125 00:06:42,200 --> 00:06:45,760 Speaker 2: we were going to Las Vegas. So you'll see throughout 126 00:06:45,760 --> 00:06:49,320 Speaker 2: my story it's always about a vacation. It's that I 127 00:06:49,440 --> 00:06:51,479 Speaker 2: was like, Okay, well we're going to Vegas. I can't 128 00:06:51,480 --> 00:06:54,479 Speaker 2: go to Vegas and not drink. That's crazy, you know, that's. 129 00:06:54,320 --> 00:06:56,120 Speaker 1: Just the thought. That's crazy, you know. 130 00:06:56,440 --> 00:07:01,600 Speaker 2: So but I said two glasses, you know a day 131 00:07:02,040 --> 00:07:04,760 Speaker 2: was my limit, and I stuck to that. And but 132 00:07:04,839 --> 00:07:06,839 Speaker 2: I remember the first time I was and it was 133 00:07:06,920 --> 00:07:08,080 Speaker 2: Kendall Jackson. 134 00:07:07,839 --> 00:07:09,680 Speaker 1: Jardnay, that's what I was drinking back then. 135 00:07:10,280 --> 00:07:12,280 Speaker 2: And I remember they, you know, brought me a glass 136 00:07:12,360 --> 00:07:14,400 Speaker 2: and my first sip was like, ugh, this. 137 00:07:14,480 --> 00:07:16,040 Speaker 1: Doesn't really taste very good. 138 00:07:16,440 --> 00:07:18,720 Speaker 2: But then my mindset was like, I'll just it'll get 139 00:07:18,760 --> 00:07:22,000 Speaker 2: better if I just keep drinking, you know. And the 140 00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:25,280 Speaker 2: next morning I woke up and it felt toxic, you know, 141 00:07:25,360 --> 00:07:28,640 Speaker 2: it felt I was like, wow, I really feel awful. 142 00:07:29,400 --> 00:07:32,000 Speaker 2: So but at the time, I just didn't I didn't 143 00:07:32,000 --> 00:07:34,640 Speaker 2: know everything I know now. I didn't know how alcohol 144 00:07:34,880 --> 00:07:37,800 Speaker 2: affects your brain and body, and I just went, oh, well, 145 00:07:37,840 --> 00:07:40,000 Speaker 2: you know, like I you know, was but I was 146 00:07:40,120 --> 00:07:44,080 Speaker 2: very fixated on getting those two glasses. So I've noticed 147 00:07:44,120 --> 00:07:49,600 Speaker 2: that in my journey that and that's disorder drinking right there, 148 00:07:49,680 --> 00:07:52,480 Speaker 2: when you're really fixated, Like we would be walking around 149 00:07:52,520 --> 00:07:54,640 Speaker 2: and stuff and I would be like, I just want 150 00:07:54,640 --> 00:07:55,920 Speaker 2: to go to a nice place and get a nice 151 00:07:55,920 --> 00:07:58,680 Speaker 2: glass of wine, like you know, and every day the 152 00:07:58,760 --> 00:08:00,440 Speaker 2: focus was where am I going to ge those two 153 00:08:00,520 --> 00:08:04,200 Speaker 2: drinks that are my limit on this vacation and so 154 00:08:04,760 --> 00:08:08,240 Speaker 2: and noticing that. So then this was way back in 155 00:08:08,320 --> 00:08:11,880 Speaker 2: like two thousand and fourteen, and then fast forward to 156 00:08:11,920 --> 00:08:17,000 Speaker 2: two thousand and nineteen. From fourteen to nineteen, my drinking 157 00:08:17,560 --> 00:08:22,440 Speaker 2: slowly progressed due to super being super busy at work. 158 00:08:23,240 --> 00:08:25,800 Speaker 2: We owned a music studio, so I was doing two jobs, 159 00:08:26,200 --> 00:08:28,160 Speaker 2: working during the day and then going to the music. 160 00:08:27,960 --> 00:08:32,080 Speaker 1: Studio at night. And it just escalated. 161 00:08:32,120 --> 00:08:34,840 Speaker 2: And then in twenty nineteen, I did a twenty one 162 00:08:34,920 --> 00:08:38,160 Speaker 2: day reset program and cause I was just at the 163 00:08:38,240 --> 00:08:39,880 Speaker 2: end of my ropes. I was my mother's seventy fifth 164 00:08:39,920 --> 00:08:44,079 Speaker 2: birthday and we'd just gone to Wine Country and I 165 00:08:44,160 --> 00:08:46,520 Speaker 2: was sick. I had like a cold, but I just 166 00:08:46,640 --> 00:08:49,040 Speaker 2: kept drinking, you know, like everyone else. I just kept 167 00:08:49,080 --> 00:08:52,600 Speaker 2: going and you know, and overdrinking. So I did this 168 00:08:52,640 --> 00:08:55,000 Speaker 2: twenty one day program. I ended up going forty days. 169 00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:58,360 Speaker 2: But then we were going on vacation, and again I 170 00:08:58,400 --> 00:09:01,959 Speaker 2: had those rules. I stuck to those rules. No drinking 171 00:09:02,040 --> 00:09:06,080 Speaker 2: in the condo, only drinking out, So those are the rules. 172 00:09:06,280 --> 00:09:08,280 Speaker 2: But then I'll get and I was fixated, like if 173 00:09:08,280 --> 00:09:10,199 Speaker 2: we didn't go to a restaurant that had good wine. 174 00:09:10,200 --> 00:09:13,400 Speaker 2: I was really ticked off and grumpy if I didn't 175 00:09:13,400 --> 00:09:17,520 Speaker 2: get my you know what I wanted. And so then 176 00:09:17,760 --> 00:09:21,560 Speaker 2: a year later June twenty twenty, June first, twenty twenty, 177 00:09:21,640 --> 00:09:24,199 Speaker 2: I made the commitment to go all in and really 178 00:09:24,280 --> 00:09:28,120 Speaker 2: explore an alcohol free lifestyle after all of twenty nineteen, 179 00:09:28,240 --> 00:09:32,360 Speaker 2: be many thirty days, and then I would try. Then 180 00:09:32,400 --> 00:09:35,440 Speaker 2: I would drink, you know, on New Year's Eve, or 181 00:09:35,440 --> 00:09:40,400 Speaker 2: I drink you know, different different events, but always overdrink 182 00:09:40,720 --> 00:09:42,160 Speaker 2: or overdrink for me. 183 00:09:42,760 --> 00:09:45,240 Speaker 1: So felt really bad about it. I think the. 184 00:09:45,280 --> 00:09:48,240 Speaker 2: Caveat for that was Mother's Day, because here it is 185 00:09:48,280 --> 00:09:50,640 Speaker 2: twenty twenty, we're all on zoom and I drank an. 186 00:09:50,679 --> 00:09:52,360 Speaker 1: Entire bottle of champagne by myself. 187 00:09:52,520 --> 00:09:55,400 Speaker 2: And then after that and we were closing music studio, 188 00:09:55,840 --> 00:09:57,520 Speaker 2: and during that process, I was just like. 189 00:09:57,760 --> 00:10:00,520 Speaker 1: Keep pouring to my husband, like just I keep boring 190 00:10:00,559 --> 00:10:01,400 Speaker 1: while we get through this. 191 00:10:01,880 --> 00:10:03,880 Speaker 2: And I woke up one day and just said I can't, 192 00:10:03,920 --> 00:10:06,320 Speaker 2: I don't want I can't live like this anymore. So 193 00:10:06,400 --> 00:10:10,120 Speaker 2: I made a commitment to one hundred days June first, 194 00:10:10,200 --> 00:10:13,600 Speaker 2: twenty twenty, and on June tenth, we went on vacation 195 00:10:16,240 --> 00:10:18,640 Speaker 2: so we got this condo up at Lake Winnipesaki, a 196 00:10:18,640 --> 00:10:19,480 Speaker 2: place we could drive. 197 00:10:19,520 --> 00:10:20,800 Speaker 1: It was just our little family. 198 00:10:21,160 --> 00:10:24,240 Speaker 2: It was so ten days into my alcohol, you know, commitment, 199 00:10:25,120 --> 00:10:27,400 Speaker 2: and I remember showing up and just being like really 200 00:10:27,440 --> 00:10:28,559 Speaker 2: a grumpy. 201 00:10:28,880 --> 00:10:30,000 Speaker 1: My husband's standing on the. 202 00:10:29,920 --> 00:10:32,760 Speaker 2: Deck with a beer and I'm just standing there going, oh, 203 00:10:33,280 --> 00:10:36,640 Speaker 2: you know, like burning with you know, it all change, 204 00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:40,640 Speaker 2: it's painful, it's change is uncomfortable. So when I am 205 00:10:40,679 --> 00:10:42,800 Speaker 2: coaching women, I'm like, you have to be prepared to 206 00:10:42,800 --> 00:10:46,360 Speaker 2: be uncomfortable. It is uncomfortable. If you're feeling the burn, 207 00:10:46,920 --> 00:10:50,560 Speaker 2: you're doing it right. And I was definitely feeling the burn. 208 00:10:50,679 --> 00:10:52,440 Speaker 2: And I would listen to podcasts and I would go 209 00:10:52,480 --> 00:10:55,520 Speaker 2: for walks and I got kind of got over the 210 00:10:55,640 --> 00:10:59,400 Speaker 2: hump and I made mocktails and I just sort of got. 211 00:10:59,240 --> 00:11:02,040 Speaker 1: All in, all in, you know, you really have to 212 00:11:02,080 --> 00:11:02,559 Speaker 1: be all in. 213 00:11:02,960 --> 00:11:04,840 Speaker 2: It was still hard when we went out because at 214 00:11:04,840 --> 00:11:06,640 Speaker 2: that time, my daughter and her friend were old enough 215 00:11:06,679 --> 00:11:09,319 Speaker 2: to drink, and they ordered drinks, you know, and I 216 00:11:09,360 --> 00:11:12,400 Speaker 2: was heavy and those at that time in twenty twenty, 217 00:11:12,480 --> 00:11:15,120 Speaker 2: most places didn't have mocktails. And we didn't really go 218 00:11:15,200 --> 00:11:17,000 Speaker 2: out that much because it was COVID. But up in 219 00:11:17,040 --> 00:11:19,240 Speaker 2: New Hampshire. It was like all different world. Nobody was 220 00:11:19,280 --> 00:11:21,760 Speaker 2: wearing masks. It was like COVID didn't exist up in 221 00:11:21,800 --> 00:11:23,240 Speaker 2: New Hampshire, which was really weird. 222 00:11:23,280 --> 00:11:25,320 Speaker 1: But I ended up having a really good time. 223 00:11:26,040 --> 00:11:27,800 Speaker 2: Like I jumped off the back of the boat and 224 00:11:27,840 --> 00:11:29,839 Speaker 2: I realized, oh, if I was drinking, I would have 225 00:11:29,920 --> 00:11:32,000 Speaker 2: just been sitting here with my wine watching all the 226 00:11:32,040 --> 00:11:35,679 Speaker 2: kids do you know, jump and inner tube and you know. 227 00:11:35,840 --> 00:11:37,440 Speaker 1: And I was like, no, I'm all in. 228 00:11:37,520 --> 00:11:41,760 Speaker 2: I'm doing all the activities, you know, and kayaking and 229 00:11:41,880 --> 00:11:46,560 Speaker 2: boating and having the mocktails, playing games. We laughed so hard, 230 00:11:46,880 --> 00:11:49,000 Speaker 2: you know. So that was such a good experience to 231 00:11:49,120 --> 00:11:54,880 Speaker 2: get through that vacation alcohol free. And what I realized 232 00:11:54,920 --> 00:11:56,599 Speaker 2: is like the first one's going to maybe be a 233 00:11:56,720 --> 00:11:59,800 Speaker 2: ten on the scale of one to ten of hard, 234 00:12:00,360 --> 00:12:03,640 Speaker 2: but the next one is going to be like a five. 235 00:12:04,040 --> 00:12:05,760 Speaker 2: Like it's not going to go from ten to nine. 236 00:12:05,840 --> 00:12:08,280 Speaker 2: Because once you teach your brain like oh I can 237 00:12:08,400 --> 00:12:10,959 Speaker 2: do this, you know, it settles down. 238 00:12:11,400 --> 00:12:14,400 Speaker 3: So we'll be back right after a quick word from 239 00:12:14,440 --> 00:12:15,160 Speaker 3: our sponsors. 240 00:12:17,080 --> 00:12:19,400 Speaker 1: So then I became you know, I went through a year. 241 00:12:19,960 --> 00:12:21,000 Speaker 1: I was a year sober. 242 00:12:21,080 --> 00:12:23,600 Speaker 2: I decided to become a coach and we were in 243 00:12:23,640 --> 00:12:27,320 Speaker 2: the same coaching program cohort at that time, and the 244 00:12:27,360 --> 00:12:30,880 Speaker 2: first thing I thought was, this is a resource. I 245 00:12:30,920 --> 00:12:33,200 Speaker 2: want to make a resource for people that struggle with 246 00:12:33,200 --> 00:12:38,760 Speaker 2: special events and vacationing alcohol free because that is a 247 00:12:38,880 --> 00:12:41,720 Speaker 2: huge thing. So I see, you know when you're coaching, Yes, 248 00:12:41,840 --> 00:12:45,680 Speaker 2: these women will put off doing a. 249 00:12:46,040 --> 00:12:48,160 Speaker 1: Fast, like with your fast. 250 00:12:47,840 --> 00:12:50,160 Speaker 2: You know, because it's like, well, at the end of this, 251 00:12:50,240 --> 00:12:52,959 Speaker 2: I am going on vacation, so why bother. It's like, no, 252 00:12:53,520 --> 00:12:57,200 Speaker 2: just do it, you know, even if then you do 253 00:12:57,320 --> 00:13:00,360 Speaker 2: try to drink during your vacation, like you will see 254 00:13:00,400 --> 00:13:04,040 Speaker 2: you can see do you have that fixation like that 255 00:13:04,160 --> 00:13:07,200 Speaker 2: I described, you know, Do you create all these rules 256 00:13:07,240 --> 00:13:09,040 Speaker 2: and then feel grumpy. 257 00:13:08,679 --> 00:13:10,760 Speaker 1: When you don't get your wedd you want, you know, 258 00:13:11,120 --> 00:13:14,080 Speaker 1: and or just try it? Try one vacation. 259 00:13:14,520 --> 00:13:16,400 Speaker 2: How many vacations are you going to have in your life, 260 00:13:16,559 --> 00:13:20,360 Speaker 2: or how many concerts or how many special events? 261 00:13:20,440 --> 00:13:22,320 Speaker 1: Just try one? Give it your gos. 262 00:13:22,400 --> 00:13:22,520 Speaker 3: So. 263 00:13:22,960 --> 00:13:24,800 Speaker 1: But we need a plan, you know. 264 00:13:25,200 --> 00:13:29,000 Speaker 2: It's so I created a boot camp and a workbook 265 00:13:29,679 --> 00:13:32,800 Speaker 2: with a way that you can get yourself get a 266 00:13:32,800 --> 00:13:38,280 Speaker 2: plan together to prepare for an alcohol free vacation and 267 00:13:38,440 --> 00:13:41,880 Speaker 2: love that yeah, because so my you know, my little 268 00:13:41,920 --> 00:13:44,120 Speaker 2: tagline was, you know, your thirty sixty. 269 00:13:43,880 --> 00:13:47,280 Speaker 1: Ninety days alcohol free and you're going on vacation. 270 00:13:47,520 --> 00:13:50,200 Speaker 2: It's like, what Or you have a wedding, and I 271 00:13:50,240 --> 00:13:53,640 Speaker 2: will sometimes when I'm working with clients and you probably 272 00:13:53,640 --> 00:13:54,280 Speaker 2: see this too. 273 00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:57,240 Speaker 1: You know, they're making progress with you know. 274 00:13:57,160 --> 00:13:59,920 Speaker 2: Their daily life alcohol free, but in the back of 275 00:13:59,960 --> 00:14:03,560 Speaker 2: their mind, they're like, but I have so this is April, say, 276 00:14:03,640 --> 00:14:06,040 Speaker 2: They're like, I have a wedding in September. Yeah, all 277 00:14:06,040 --> 00:14:09,840 Speaker 2: the time, Yeah, and that towards their progress because in 278 00:14:09,880 --> 00:14:12,200 Speaker 2: the back of their mind they're trying to already decide 279 00:14:12,240 --> 00:14:15,080 Speaker 2: in April, am I going to drink in September? And 280 00:14:15,120 --> 00:14:19,400 Speaker 2: I'm always just like, guys, just wait until September, you know, 281 00:14:19,560 --> 00:14:22,120 Speaker 2: and we will because you may be in a completely 282 00:14:22,160 --> 00:14:23,080 Speaker 2: different place. 283 00:14:22,840 --> 00:14:24,560 Speaker 1: By then in your alcohol free journey. 284 00:14:24,600 --> 00:14:28,520 Speaker 2: So it's this mindset of I need to decide the 285 00:14:28,640 --> 00:14:31,200 Speaker 2: end game during the process. 286 00:14:31,280 --> 00:14:33,680 Speaker 1: It's like, right during the process, you have to be. 287 00:14:33,680 --> 00:14:36,720 Speaker 2: All in and let the end game, you know, solve 288 00:14:36,760 --> 00:14:41,000 Speaker 2: itself later, you know. So but you know what, anytime 289 00:14:41,080 --> 00:14:43,640 Speaker 2: I've worked with somebody and they they do that first 290 00:14:43,640 --> 00:14:46,760 Speaker 2: concert or they do that first vacation alcohol free. They 291 00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:50,560 Speaker 2: always feel like a million dollars, even if it's hard, 292 00:14:51,200 --> 00:14:54,560 Speaker 2: even you know, it's just like, wow, I could do this. 293 00:14:55,120 --> 00:14:57,120 Speaker 2: And then I feel like, as you've got this notch 294 00:14:57,160 --> 00:14:59,800 Speaker 2: in your belt. So I had that first alcohol free 295 00:14:59,840 --> 00:15:03,880 Speaker 2: VA in June. But then in September, my father in 296 00:15:03,960 --> 00:15:09,960 Speaker 2: law passed away and we had the services at in 297 00:15:10,080 --> 00:15:12,480 Speaker 2: San Diego on a boat. But before that we were 298 00:15:12,520 --> 00:15:15,960 Speaker 2: at Hotel del Coronado on the Coronado Island. Beautiful, this 299 00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:19,240 Speaker 2: beautiful sudden there, you know, yeah, gorgeous, and we got 300 00:15:19,760 --> 00:15:22,680 Speaker 2: my grandmother and grandfather used to have a house on 301 00:15:22,760 --> 00:15:25,440 Speaker 2: Coronado Island, so we have all this sort of you 302 00:15:25,440 --> 00:15:29,240 Speaker 2: know history there. And I wasn't drinking and that was 303 00:15:29,320 --> 00:15:31,760 Speaker 2: really hard, and I got through that, and then I 304 00:15:31,800 --> 00:15:34,720 Speaker 2: felt like I had this notch on my belt to 305 00:15:34,720 --> 00:15:38,400 Speaker 2: where every other everyday little things, you know, like if 306 00:15:38,400 --> 00:15:38,760 Speaker 2: I was. 307 00:15:38,760 --> 00:15:41,200 Speaker 1: Slightly even tempted at a you know. 308 00:15:41,400 --> 00:15:43,280 Speaker 2: Out to dinner or something, I would always look back 309 00:15:43,280 --> 00:15:45,200 Speaker 2: and go, well, you didn't drink at Hotel Dell, so 310 00:15:45,240 --> 00:15:45,760 Speaker 2: I'm not going to. 311 00:15:45,800 --> 00:15:48,720 Speaker 1: Drink at this crappy bar, you know what I mean. 312 00:15:48,760 --> 00:15:50,880 Speaker 2: It was like I already, you know, did these hard 313 00:15:50,920 --> 00:15:53,280 Speaker 2: things and it just gives you, like you go from 314 00:15:53,320 --> 00:15:55,560 Speaker 2: like a what is it a white belt to a 315 00:15:55,600 --> 00:15:57,960 Speaker 2: brown belt to a black belt, you know, in your 316 00:15:58,160 --> 00:16:02,920 Speaker 2: alcohol free muscle, right, Yeah, So I think it's really 317 00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:05,520 Speaker 2: important to have a plan and to really try. 318 00:16:05,360 --> 00:16:09,880 Speaker 1: At least one vacation alcohol free. Yeah yeah. 319 00:16:09,920 --> 00:16:13,480 Speaker 3: And I think too, if it doesn't feel one hundred 320 00:16:13,520 --> 00:16:16,920 Speaker 3: percent amazing the first time, that that's okay too, right, 321 00:16:17,080 --> 00:16:20,480 Speaker 3: because you'll at some point when you get back home 322 00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:22,560 Speaker 3: or you've done the thing and you wake up the 323 00:16:22,600 --> 00:16:25,360 Speaker 3: next morning, of course you're going to feel great about 324 00:16:25,400 --> 00:16:30,680 Speaker 3: your decision, because nobody ever woke up and regretted not drinking, right, absolutely, 325 00:16:30,880 --> 00:16:33,560 Speaker 3: But if it feels funky and you feel like a 326 00:16:33,600 --> 00:16:36,720 Speaker 3: fish out of water, then that's okay too, because as 327 00:16:36,720 --> 00:16:39,840 Speaker 3: you said, you it takes practice, right, And if you're 328 00:16:39,880 --> 00:16:43,080 Speaker 3: at home every single day and you're not drinking, and 329 00:16:43,120 --> 00:16:45,520 Speaker 3: you were a nightly drinker at home, then you get 330 00:16:45,560 --> 00:16:48,600 Speaker 3: a lot of experience really quickly with not drinking at home. 331 00:16:48,960 --> 00:16:52,200 Speaker 3: So I think the vacation aspect of it is it's 332 00:16:52,240 --> 00:16:56,560 Speaker 3: the unknown, right, It's the unknown of this thing, and 333 00:16:56,600 --> 00:16:58,960 Speaker 3: I can't picture it, and I've always done it all 334 00:16:59,040 --> 00:17:02,320 Speaker 3: this other way, there's a million scenarios in my subconscious 335 00:17:02,320 --> 00:17:05,679 Speaker 3: filing cabinet that play out like it always has and 336 00:17:05,880 --> 00:17:08,200 Speaker 3: even and right, and this kind of goes into fading 337 00:17:08,240 --> 00:17:11,240 Speaker 3: affect bias a little bit. Right, even if that vacation 338 00:17:11,440 --> 00:17:13,960 Speaker 3: you were barfing everywhere and yelled at your husband the 339 00:17:13,960 --> 00:17:16,720 Speaker 3: whole time, Like you're still romanticizing that margarita at the 340 00:17:16,760 --> 00:17:19,080 Speaker 3: swim up bar. But I mean, I don't know, like 341 00:17:19,359 --> 00:17:24,520 Speaker 3: you know who's experienced that besides me? But I absolutely like, yeah, 342 00:17:24,560 --> 00:17:27,199 Speaker 3: I go to Mexico without a margarita. Who can go 343 00:17:27,240 --> 00:17:29,080 Speaker 3: to France and not have the wine? Who can go 344 00:17:29,080 --> 00:17:31,480 Speaker 3: to Champagne and not have the champagne? Like these are 345 00:17:31,600 --> 00:17:34,760 Speaker 3: questions that I was like, yeah, no, that sounds like 346 00:17:34,760 --> 00:17:35,880 Speaker 3: a fate worse than death. 347 00:17:36,520 --> 00:17:40,880 Speaker 2: Yes, exactly, exactly. So that's part of like my five 348 00:17:40,960 --> 00:17:45,680 Speaker 2: steps is visualizing digualize yourself swimming up to the swim 349 00:17:45,800 --> 00:17:48,960 Speaker 2: at bar and ordering an na mohiedo. Now, when you're 350 00:17:48,960 --> 00:17:50,960 Speaker 2: in Mexico, you have to stay virgin. They don't get 351 00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:53,960 Speaker 2: alcohol free. I'm like seeing alcohol, you know, I'm trying 352 00:17:53,960 --> 00:17:57,399 Speaker 2: to like, yeah, speak my limited Spanish, but just say virgin. 353 00:17:57,440 --> 00:18:00,440 Speaker 2: They know what you're talking about yeah. And so after 354 00:18:00,520 --> 00:18:03,679 Speaker 2: about a year alcohol free, my brother's fiftieth birthday, we 355 00:18:03,760 --> 00:18:08,520 Speaker 2: went to Cancoon and I had this exact experience. But 356 00:18:08,640 --> 00:18:11,640 Speaker 2: the idea of visualizing, so if you visualize something, your 357 00:18:11,640 --> 00:18:15,440 Speaker 2: brain doesn't know the difference between the visualization and reality. 358 00:18:15,520 --> 00:18:17,360 Speaker 1: So if you visualize yourself. 359 00:18:17,040 --> 00:18:19,320 Speaker 2: Doing it in advance, then when you go to do 360 00:18:19,400 --> 00:18:22,160 Speaker 2: it in real life, your brain is like, oh, yeah, 361 00:18:22,200 --> 00:18:22,879 Speaker 2: we've done this. 362 00:18:22,880 --> 00:18:24,880 Speaker 1: This isn't that scary. We can do this. 363 00:18:25,520 --> 00:18:28,600 Speaker 2: But I had this experience where my brother. So this 364 00:18:28,680 --> 00:18:31,240 Speaker 2: is where I kind of broke it to my family 365 00:18:31,520 --> 00:18:33,960 Speaker 2: that I was becoming a coach and that was alcohol. 366 00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:35,120 Speaker 1: First of all, I was alcohol free. 367 00:18:35,119 --> 00:18:37,720 Speaker 2: They didn't even know my brother, and then that I 368 00:18:37,800 --> 00:18:41,080 Speaker 2: was going to become a coach and we were having marguerite. 369 00:18:41,280 --> 00:18:42,320 Speaker 1: They were having margerite? 370 00:18:42,400 --> 00:18:42,720 Speaker 3: Is that this? 371 00:18:42,960 --> 00:18:45,080 Speaker 2: When we first got there, my brother had already had 372 00:18:45,160 --> 00:18:47,520 Speaker 2: a few, and he was like, why would you want 373 00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:52,120 Speaker 2: to do that? And so then the next day we're 374 00:18:52,160 --> 00:18:53,920 Speaker 2: in the pool and we go up to the swim 375 00:18:53,920 --> 00:18:55,720 Speaker 2: at bar and he gets his beer and I get 376 00:18:55,760 --> 00:19:00,119 Speaker 2: like a virgin Pina colada. We were standing there and 377 00:19:00,160 --> 00:19:04,399 Speaker 2: I said to him, being alcohol free is a lifestyle. 378 00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:08,040 Speaker 2: Not a life sentence. Yeah, and that's become like a 379 00:19:08,040 --> 00:19:11,000 Speaker 2: little tagline like that's in my email. You know, that 380 00:19:11,240 --> 00:19:15,000 Speaker 2: is what I truly believe. It's a lifestyle. You don't 381 00:19:15,040 --> 00:19:17,280 Speaker 2: have to have a rock bottom and it isn't a 382 00:19:17,359 --> 00:19:21,159 Speaker 2: life sentence. It's amazing, yeah, you know, just but I 383 00:19:21,240 --> 00:19:25,040 Speaker 2: use those tools, you know, I use the tools of visualization. 384 00:19:25,359 --> 00:19:27,480 Speaker 1: I use the tools of what's your why. 385 00:19:27,680 --> 00:19:30,840 Speaker 2: So that's like the first part of this five step 386 00:19:30,920 --> 00:19:32,000 Speaker 2: process that I put together. 387 00:19:32,040 --> 00:19:33,680 Speaker 1: And it's a free workbook that. 388 00:19:33,640 --> 00:19:36,520 Speaker 2: I put together that I that's on my website that 389 00:19:36,640 --> 00:19:39,720 Speaker 2: anybody can download, and this is for any event. 390 00:19:39,840 --> 00:19:40,560 Speaker 1: What's your why? 391 00:19:40,800 --> 00:19:43,160 Speaker 2: So in that event, my why was to spend time 392 00:19:43,200 --> 00:19:46,040 Speaker 2: with my sister, spend time with my brother and my nephews. 393 00:19:46,080 --> 00:19:48,359 Speaker 2: There were a lot of other people there, but I 394 00:19:48,400 --> 00:19:51,359 Speaker 2: really wanted to spend time with them. When I would 395 00:19:51,359 --> 00:19:54,280 Speaker 2: get twirled up, which a couple of times did happen, 396 00:19:54,520 --> 00:19:57,440 Speaker 2: even in a year alcohol free, a couple of times 397 00:19:57,440 --> 00:19:58,240 Speaker 2: it did happen. 398 00:19:58,440 --> 00:20:00,600 Speaker 1: You know, I kept going back to my why. 399 00:20:00,720 --> 00:20:02,919 Speaker 2: Wait a minute, and I even reached out to some 400 00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:05,240 Speaker 2: of my alcohol free friends, you know, and they were like, 401 00:20:05,280 --> 00:20:07,480 Speaker 2: what's your why? Get back to your why? And it's like, yep, 402 00:20:07,520 --> 00:20:10,080 Speaker 2: get back to my why. What's my purpose here? As 403 00:20:10,160 --> 00:20:14,280 Speaker 2: the oldest daughter? You know, I would I started to 404 00:20:14,280 --> 00:20:16,760 Speaker 2: get in and like do we have enough chairs for everyone? 405 00:20:16,840 --> 00:20:19,840 Speaker 1: And like be all you know, stressed out about everything. 406 00:20:19,920 --> 00:20:21,280 Speaker 1: And it's like, wait, get back to my why. 407 00:20:21,400 --> 00:20:23,600 Speaker 2: Don't let myself get super stressed out and take care 408 00:20:23,600 --> 00:20:26,000 Speaker 2: of myself and this and the second one is to 409 00:20:26,080 --> 00:20:27,400 Speaker 2: visualize also. 410 00:20:27,240 --> 00:20:30,160 Speaker 1: All the things that you were there to enjoy. 411 00:20:30,960 --> 00:20:33,399 Speaker 2: Rather than focus on the one thing you're not going 412 00:20:33,480 --> 00:20:37,120 Speaker 2: to have, focus on all the amazing things that you 413 00:20:37,240 --> 00:20:39,399 Speaker 2: are going to have. Maybe you do you know, I 414 00:20:39,480 --> 00:20:41,840 Speaker 2: used to drink my calories and never have dessert. Maybe 415 00:20:41,840 --> 00:20:45,520 Speaker 2: you have dessert, you know. Maybe you use the money 416 00:20:45,680 --> 00:20:48,240 Speaker 2: because Lord knows, you spend a ton of money on 417 00:20:48,320 --> 00:20:49,919 Speaker 2: alcohol in King kud. 418 00:20:49,840 --> 00:20:52,560 Speaker 1: You know, yeah, or anywhere, yeah or anywhere. 419 00:20:52,720 --> 00:20:55,080 Speaker 2: Yeah, So you spend that on getting a massage or 420 00:20:55,080 --> 00:20:59,840 Speaker 2: a facial, you know, and really treat yourself, plan rewards, 421 00:21:00,080 --> 00:21:05,639 Speaker 2: plan treats, and visualize yourself enjoying everything there is to enjoy, 422 00:21:05,760 --> 00:21:09,040 Speaker 2: Like alcohol is not the only thing to enjoy on vacation, 423 00:21:09,119 --> 00:21:13,320 Speaker 2: in fact, it's not even enjoyable. And then visualizing yourself 424 00:21:13,600 --> 00:21:17,400 Speaker 2: you know and playing it forward and really planning for 425 00:21:18,080 --> 00:21:19,480 Speaker 2: the things that might trip you up. 426 00:21:19,640 --> 00:21:20,800 Speaker 1: Does is the swim up bar. 427 00:21:20,920 --> 00:21:23,879 Speaker 2: Going to trip you up is the minute that you 428 00:21:24,080 --> 00:21:26,480 Speaker 2: arrive and they want to hand you a glass of champagne. 429 00:21:26,640 --> 00:21:28,240 Speaker 1: Going to trip you up at the you know, at 430 00:21:28,280 --> 00:21:32,119 Speaker 1: the resort. Most resorts, I mean, things have gotten so 431 00:21:32,280 --> 00:21:32,760 Speaker 1: much better. 432 00:21:32,800 --> 00:21:36,040 Speaker 2: But most resorts also do have a non alcoholic option 433 00:21:36,160 --> 00:21:38,560 Speaker 2: because usually they're inviting families and they want to have 434 00:21:38,600 --> 00:21:42,560 Speaker 2: a little drink for or drink for people who don't drink. 435 00:21:43,320 --> 00:21:47,320 Speaker 2: And they did, they had at this particular resort. They 436 00:21:47,359 --> 00:21:49,879 Speaker 2: did have the non alcoholic option. It was on every 437 00:21:49,920 --> 00:21:52,280 Speaker 2: menu and so I could always order that. But I 438 00:21:52,359 --> 00:21:56,439 Speaker 2: found ordering a na mohido was the best too. That 439 00:21:56,520 --> 00:21:58,440 Speaker 2: was pretty much the only thing they had in Key West. 440 00:21:58,480 --> 00:22:01,960 Speaker 2: I've been done so many boozy plays. An alcohol freaking 441 00:22:03,720 --> 00:22:07,120 Speaker 2: Key West was the worst and the only thing they 442 00:22:07,119 --> 00:22:09,640 Speaker 2: could give me there was a mohiito. I was like, okay, 443 00:22:09,920 --> 00:22:13,880 Speaker 2: good night, you know, like, but yeah, you can do. 444 00:22:13,720 --> 00:22:15,679 Speaker 1: It, you can do it. Yeah. 445 00:22:15,760 --> 00:22:18,960 Speaker 3: I think another thing too, I've I've walked through with 446 00:22:19,119 --> 00:22:22,240 Speaker 3: quite a few clients is when you're going especially to 447 00:22:22,320 --> 00:22:24,560 Speaker 3: like a big vacation with either a big group of 448 00:22:24,680 --> 00:22:27,960 Speaker 3: friends or a big family. Is when you're talking about 449 00:22:28,000 --> 00:22:31,560 Speaker 3: visualization and planning. It's so important to plan. And it 450 00:22:31,560 --> 00:22:33,800 Speaker 3: goes into what you were saying too about planning retreats 451 00:22:34,280 --> 00:22:37,679 Speaker 3: is like plan time away and like have those boundaries 452 00:22:37,720 --> 00:22:39,560 Speaker 3: of like when you're going to leave the dinner party, 453 00:22:39,680 --> 00:22:43,080 Speaker 3: right like I have when I work one on one 454 00:22:43,119 --> 00:22:45,840 Speaker 3: with someone. They have my WhatsApp and so they have 455 00:22:45,960 --> 00:22:48,760 Speaker 3: my private numbers. So I will say, like you are 456 00:22:48,800 --> 00:22:50,840 Speaker 3: allowed to go get in bed at ten o'clock or 457 00:22:50,840 --> 00:22:53,520 Speaker 3: eleven o'clock or whenever you want, and you can text 458 00:22:53,600 --> 00:22:56,520 Speaker 3: me you know what I mean, and say, oh my gosh, 459 00:22:56,520 --> 00:22:58,760 Speaker 3: there it's way too much at the bar with all 460 00:22:58,760 --> 00:23:01,679 Speaker 3: these crazy people. Or get up and go for a 461 00:23:01,720 --> 00:23:04,560 Speaker 3: walk early morning in the morning with the people that 462 00:23:04,600 --> 00:23:06,280 Speaker 3: you love that you're there to connect with. 463 00:23:06,440 --> 00:23:08,639 Speaker 1: If you know that by like GPM, they're going to 464 00:23:08,680 --> 00:23:10,160 Speaker 1: be hammered. Plan ahead. 465 00:23:11,520 --> 00:23:13,720 Speaker 3: Doctor Lee Warren just wrote about this in his new 466 00:23:13,960 --> 00:23:17,800 Speaker 3: self brain surgery book about the fighter pilots, musicians, and 467 00:23:17,880 --> 00:23:21,359 Speaker 3: I think athletes. They go through these exercises right of 468 00:23:21,440 --> 00:23:24,840 Speaker 3: planning ahead, visualizing ahead, so that when the thing comes 469 00:23:24,880 --> 00:23:28,080 Speaker 3: as you said, your brain like knows that it's been 470 00:23:28,119 --> 00:23:31,359 Speaker 3: here before, even if it didn't actually happen. And so 471 00:23:31,960 --> 00:23:34,720 Speaker 3: that's what we also get to do as Christians, right 472 00:23:34,880 --> 00:23:39,200 Speaker 3: is create that space for ourselves of being quiet, being 473 00:23:39,200 --> 00:23:42,000 Speaker 3: in the word and doing these things of like visualizing 474 00:23:42,119 --> 00:23:45,160 Speaker 3: and planning and all of that stuff which I had 475 00:23:45,280 --> 00:23:47,919 Speaker 3: no idea or capacity for before. 476 00:23:48,160 --> 00:23:49,439 Speaker 1: You know, it's such a gift. 477 00:23:49,840 --> 00:23:54,920 Speaker 3: We'll be back right after a quick word from our sponsors. Hey, babe, 478 00:23:55,000 --> 00:23:57,600 Speaker 3: let me just pause us for one second because I 479 00:23:57,680 --> 00:23:59,959 Speaker 3: want to let you know that sign ups are now 480 00:23:59,840 --> 00:24:04,840 Speaker 3: open for our June forty day alcohol Fast, which is 481 00:24:04,880 --> 00:24:07,879 Speaker 3: going to go through my book Love Life Sober for 482 00:24:08,200 --> 00:24:12,359 Speaker 3: six weeks in our private off of all social media community. 483 00:24:12,880 --> 00:24:15,960 Speaker 3: There's going to be four coaches and four calls a week. 484 00:24:16,480 --> 00:24:19,720 Speaker 3: If you can't make the calls live, they will be recorded. 485 00:24:20,160 --> 00:24:24,080 Speaker 3: We are opening up this very special private space within 486 00:24:24,160 --> 00:24:28,760 Speaker 3: the Love Life Sober community on May twenty first. Coaching 487 00:24:28,800 --> 00:24:31,680 Speaker 3: will start on June first and go through July tenth. 488 00:24:31,480 --> 00:24:32,760 Speaker 1: For six weeks. 489 00:24:33,080 --> 00:24:36,080 Speaker 3: There will be daily encouragement in that space. 490 00:24:36,560 --> 00:24:37,040 Speaker 1: You will be. 491 00:24:37,080 --> 00:24:41,240 Speaker 3: Led by myself again, these three other amazing coaches, as 492 00:24:41,320 --> 00:24:44,520 Speaker 3: well as a team of our fast captains who have 493 00:24:44,640 --> 00:24:48,200 Speaker 3: found freedom from alcohol through love life Sober. We are 494 00:24:48,320 --> 00:24:51,320 Speaker 3: so excited about this summer fast. If you'd like to 495 00:24:51,400 --> 00:24:53,560 Speaker 3: join us, you can do so at the link in 496 00:24:53,640 --> 00:24:56,520 Speaker 3: the show notes. I can't wait to meet you. I 497 00:24:56,560 --> 00:24:59,280 Speaker 3: can't wait to walk these six weeks for you. It's 498 00:24:59,280 --> 00:25:01,720 Speaker 3: going to be a real, really good one. So head 499 00:25:01,760 --> 00:25:03,480 Speaker 3: to the link if you would like to sign up, 500 00:25:04,000 --> 00:25:06,600 Speaker 3: and I will see you on June first. 501 00:25:07,000 --> 00:25:08,200 Speaker 1: Yes, it is. 502 00:25:08,119 --> 00:25:12,120 Speaker 2: Yeah, getting up sunrise, Bible studies, sitting on the beach, 503 00:25:12,320 --> 00:25:15,159 Speaker 2: you know. And I always I do recommend too that 504 00:25:15,240 --> 00:25:18,800 Speaker 2: clients bring like a mini version of whatever their normal 505 00:25:18,960 --> 00:25:22,000 Speaker 2: morning routine is at home. So if you normally get 506 00:25:22,119 --> 00:25:25,119 Speaker 2: up and read a scripture and do some stretching or 507 00:25:25,160 --> 00:25:28,959 Speaker 2: whatever you normally do, bring like a mini version of 508 00:25:28,960 --> 00:25:31,760 Speaker 2: that so you keep some of your routine. It helps 509 00:25:31,800 --> 00:25:35,400 Speaker 2: to keep you anchored, definitely planning in advance. 510 00:25:35,600 --> 00:25:39,120 Speaker 1: Yeah, and like you are doing what these smart people. 511 00:25:38,840 --> 00:25:43,560 Speaker 2: Do, you know, appletes, You know, we are elevating our 512 00:25:43,680 --> 00:25:46,840 Speaker 2: life style. Instead of just showing up and letting everything 513 00:25:46,880 --> 00:25:50,840 Speaker 2: happen to us, we are showing up with a specific plan. 514 00:25:51,840 --> 00:25:52,280 Speaker 1: Yeah. 515 00:25:52,440 --> 00:25:54,800 Speaker 2: And and like you said, nobody ever wakes up in 516 00:25:54,840 --> 00:25:57,680 Speaker 2: the morning wishing they drink the night before. Now, even 517 00:25:57,720 --> 00:25:59,600 Speaker 2: if you just have to put it off for one 518 00:25:59,680 --> 00:26:03,720 Speaker 2: day and just go, Okay, you know, not tonight, maybe tomorrow. 519 00:26:03,880 --> 00:26:05,120 Speaker 1: Tell your subconscious if. 520 00:26:05,040 --> 00:26:07,560 Speaker 2: You're you know, if your brain is really screaming at you, 521 00:26:07,680 --> 00:26:11,119 Speaker 2: like you know, just say not tonight, maybe tomorrow, and 522 00:26:11,160 --> 00:26:13,400 Speaker 2: the next day you never regret it. 523 00:26:14,040 --> 00:26:14,800 Speaker 1: One hundred percent. 524 00:26:14,800 --> 00:26:16,360 Speaker 3: I was just going to say, like, We've worked with 525 00:26:16,400 --> 00:26:19,720 Speaker 3: like hundreds, thousands of women, and I've never heard ever 526 00:26:19,800 --> 00:26:22,440 Speaker 3: heard someone go on a vacation not drink and came 527 00:26:22,480 --> 00:26:23,879 Speaker 3: back and said I wish I drank. 528 00:26:24,760 --> 00:26:25,800 Speaker 1: It's never happened. 529 00:26:26,040 --> 00:26:29,919 Speaker 3: However, we both have heard many times going and having 530 00:26:29,920 --> 00:26:34,080 Speaker 3: the drinks and wishing you hadn't right. I always when 531 00:26:34,119 --> 00:26:36,320 Speaker 3: you talk about your why, I always do this exercise 532 00:26:36,359 --> 00:26:38,560 Speaker 3: with gals that are going on vacation where I'm like, yep, okay, 533 00:26:38,560 --> 00:26:41,760 Speaker 3: you've unpacked your suitcase, you've had the vacation, You're crawling 534 00:26:41,800 --> 00:26:45,199 Speaker 3: back into your own bet at home, Like what was 535 00:26:45,280 --> 00:26:48,240 Speaker 3: important about it? Like similar to your why question, like 536 00:26:48,280 --> 00:26:50,560 Speaker 3: what was important? Was it important that you connected? Was 537 00:26:50,600 --> 00:26:53,439 Speaker 3: it important that you rested? But also how do you 538 00:26:53,480 --> 00:26:56,120 Speaker 3: want to feel when you get to get home? Yes, 539 00:26:56,200 --> 00:26:57,960 Speaker 3: you want to feel do you want to feel rested 540 00:26:58,040 --> 00:26:59,399 Speaker 3: or do you want to feel like you need another 541 00:26:59,480 --> 00:27:02,800 Speaker 3: vacation from your vacation, right? Which how many times did 542 00:27:02,840 --> 00:27:05,520 Speaker 3: you say those words? Because I said them so many times. 543 00:27:05,200 --> 00:27:06,560 Speaker 1: Every time, every time. 544 00:27:06,600 --> 00:27:10,840 Speaker 2: And sometimes we would come home and just keep drinking 545 00:27:10,920 --> 00:27:13,160 Speaker 2: like we were on vacation. It was like we got 546 00:27:13,200 --> 00:27:15,560 Speaker 2: into a bad habit on vacation and we would come 547 00:27:15,560 --> 00:27:17,359 Speaker 2: home and be like especially if it was a summer 548 00:27:17,440 --> 00:27:19,520 Speaker 2: vacation and was still sunny here and we'd be out 549 00:27:19,560 --> 00:27:21,400 Speaker 2: on the deck and we'd just keep the party going 550 00:27:21,440 --> 00:27:23,240 Speaker 2: when we got home, which was not great either. 551 00:27:23,520 --> 00:27:23,760 Speaker 1: You know. 552 00:27:24,520 --> 00:27:28,280 Speaker 2: Also, I think it's really realizing this is an important 553 00:27:28,320 --> 00:27:32,159 Speaker 2: factor too, is realizing that we have different stressors on 554 00:27:32,240 --> 00:27:34,480 Speaker 2: vacation like our I used to. 555 00:27:34,480 --> 00:27:37,040 Speaker 1: Tell myself that drinking on vacation was like fun. 556 00:27:36,880 --> 00:27:39,920 Speaker 2: Drinking and it was okay because it wasn't like coping drinking. 557 00:27:40,160 --> 00:27:43,840 Speaker 1: But is that true? Right? Because I would get there, 558 00:27:44,000 --> 00:27:45,680 Speaker 1: you know, you have your whole travel day. 559 00:27:46,400 --> 00:27:48,440 Speaker 2: You know, you're driving with your spouse, they don't know 560 00:27:48,440 --> 00:27:50,679 Speaker 2: where they're going, you get lost. You finally get to 561 00:27:50,720 --> 00:27:53,720 Speaker 2: the place and you you know, you walk in, you're like, oh, 562 00:27:53,880 --> 00:27:57,159 Speaker 2: you know, and you think you're like let's have a 563 00:27:57,200 --> 00:28:00,320 Speaker 2: celebratory drink, but the drink is really because you want 564 00:28:00,320 --> 00:28:02,840 Speaker 2: the stress relief. And that was that used to be 565 00:28:02,920 --> 00:28:04,879 Speaker 2: what I said was my bad drinking, you know what 566 00:28:04,960 --> 00:28:05,159 Speaker 2: I mean. 567 00:28:05,200 --> 00:28:09,680 Speaker 1: I didn't want a drink for stress relief. But it's sneaky, yeah, right. 568 00:28:09,880 --> 00:28:13,080 Speaker 2: And there's little land mines when you're on vacation that 569 00:28:14,280 --> 00:28:17,840 Speaker 2: aren't in your normal daily life that can also trigger 570 00:28:17,880 --> 00:28:21,840 Speaker 2: you for drinking, Like if you're a super active person 571 00:28:21,920 --> 00:28:24,520 Speaker 2: and you always go, go, go, like having time to 572 00:28:24,600 --> 00:28:27,679 Speaker 2: just rest can actually be triggering for you can actually 573 00:28:27,680 --> 00:28:30,680 Speaker 2: be like you just want to drink the afternoon away 574 00:28:30,720 --> 00:28:32,680 Speaker 2: because you don't know what to do with yourself, which 575 00:28:32,720 --> 00:28:36,400 Speaker 2: sounds crazy but happens a lot now. 576 00:28:36,480 --> 00:28:38,160 Speaker 1: Yeah, no, it doesn't sound crazy at all. 577 00:28:38,160 --> 00:28:40,280 Speaker 3: It's just it goes back to like not the inf 578 00:28:40,360 --> 00:28:43,440 Speaker 3: like not being familiar with being still right, or not 579 00:28:43,520 --> 00:28:46,520 Speaker 3: being familiar with being bored, or not being familiar with 580 00:28:46,600 --> 00:28:50,000 Speaker 3: like feeling a certain emotion and not checking out from it. 581 00:28:50,120 --> 00:28:51,040 Speaker 1: Right, it's all new. 582 00:28:51,280 --> 00:28:54,680 Speaker 3: Like that's why we get nervous and we future trip 583 00:28:54,720 --> 00:28:57,200 Speaker 3: and we catastrophize and we do all of these things, 584 00:28:57,280 --> 00:28:58,520 Speaker 3: is because we're. 585 00:28:58,400 --> 00:29:00,640 Speaker 1: Just we've never done it before. And that's right. Well 586 00:29:01,080 --> 00:29:01,760 Speaker 1: it's okay. 587 00:29:02,160 --> 00:29:04,239 Speaker 3: You know, of course it's going to be scary, but like, 588 00:29:04,600 --> 00:29:06,080 Speaker 3: if we can do it, you can do it. 589 00:29:06,800 --> 00:29:08,520 Speaker 1: Absolutely. Yeah. 590 00:29:08,560 --> 00:29:12,040 Speaker 2: But also, reck, I think honoring that it's different, it 591 00:29:12,080 --> 00:29:15,160 Speaker 2: doesn't mean it's bad, it doesn't mean it. Honoring that 592 00:29:15,240 --> 00:29:18,400 Speaker 2: it is uncomfortable, really honoring that for yourself and saying, 593 00:29:18,440 --> 00:29:20,160 Speaker 2: you know, this is going to be a different vacation. 594 00:29:20,200 --> 00:29:22,440 Speaker 2: It's going to feel different, it might feel awkward, it 595 00:29:22,520 --> 00:29:25,800 Speaker 2: might be a little uncomfortable, but choose your discomfort. It's 596 00:29:25,840 --> 00:29:27,320 Speaker 2: going to be uncomfortable if you wake up with a 597 00:29:27,320 --> 00:29:31,160 Speaker 2: hangover the next day. Yeah, you know, So you get 598 00:29:31,200 --> 00:29:35,840 Speaker 2: to choose. We get to choose. And the discomfort of 599 00:29:36,200 --> 00:29:38,959 Speaker 2: in the in the moment of turning down a drink 600 00:29:39,560 --> 00:29:44,840 Speaker 2: is just it is so strengthening, and it helps your 601 00:29:44,840 --> 00:29:47,120 Speaker 2: brain to realize, I'm not going to die if I 602 00:29:47,120 --> 00:29:49,600 Speaker 2: don't drink right now, like your brain is telling you, 603 00:29:49,720 --> 00:29:52,200 Speaker 2: like because because you want to be part of the crowd, 604 00:29:52,440 --> 00:29:55,400 Speaker 2: but you are still You're there. And if you just 605 00:29:55,560 --> 00:29:58,680 Speaker 2: have an alcohol free beverage in your it's a beverage, people, 606 00:29:59,440 --> 00:30:01,800 Speaker 2: it's a bev. So if you have a beverage in 607 00:30:01,840 --> 00:30:03,959 Speaker 2: your hand, you are part of the party. A lot 608 00:30:04,000 --> 00:30:06,080 Speaker 2: of times we tell ourselves we're not part of the party, 609 00:30:06,160 --> 00:30:06,680 Speaker 2: but you are. 610 00:30:06,800 --> 00:30:10,600 Speaker 1: You're there, You're talking, you're laughing, you're dancing, you have 611 00:30:10,640 --> 00:30:13,040 Speaker 1: a drink in your hand. You just don't have ethanol 612 00:30:13,120 --> 00:30:14,040 Speaker 1: in your glass. 613 00:30:14,280 --> 00:30:18,000 Speaker 3: I wanted to be part of the party for so long, 614 00:30:18,360 --> 00:30:20,480 Speaker 3: and I was so scared of not being part of 615 00:30:20,520 --> 00:30:23,160 Speaker 3: the party. And now I think I've just like just 616 00:30:23,280 --> 00:30:26,120 Speaker 3: Romans twelve to two. I feel like has just gotten 617 00:30:26,160 --> 00:30:27,920 Speaker 3: in me and I don't want to be part of 618 00:30:27,960 --> 00:30:31,680 Speaker 3: any of it. Like we're supposed to be so different, right, 619 00:30:31,720 --> 00:30:35,520 Speaker 3: We're supposed to be visibly and obviously like set apart 620 00:30:35,520 --> 00:30:38,800 Speaker 3: and different, right, And so that's the thing too, It's 621 00:30:38,880 --> 00:30:40,840 Speaker 3: like it really is a journey. 622 00:30:41,000 --> 00:30:46,880 Speaker 2: Yeah, And it's totally normal that you feel uncomfortable, because 623 00:30:46,920 --> 00:30:50,000 Speaker 2: that is how we're wired. We're wired for connection, and 624 00:30:50,080 --> 00:30:54,640 Speaker 2: our primitive, lush brain feels like if you're not part 625 00:30:54,720 --> 00:30:59,560 Speaker 2: of the tribe, you're outside of that and that means death, right. 626 00:30:59,640 --> 00:31:02,360 Speaker 2: But that's not true in our society today, and so 627 00:31:02,400 --> 00:31:04,000 Speaker 2: we just have to be aware of that. But that's 628 00:31:04,040 --> 00:31:08,280 Speaker 2: a normal human desire to be part and so I 629 00:31:08,320 --> 00:31:12,480 Speaker 2: have struggled with that with my Christian life and with 630 00:31:12,640 --> 00:31:17,400 Speaker 2: being sober, and both are strengthened now by you know, 631 00:31:17,880 --> 00:31:21,320 Speaker 2: really embracing being different. But it's hard for me to 632 00:31:21,360 --> 00:31:25,360 Speaker 2: be different. My really go to stress. My reaction is 633 00:31:25,400 --> 00:31:28,480 Speaker 2: to be like a chameleon. And so but it's it's 634 00:31:28,520 --> 00:31:30,640 Speaker 2: good to honor that too and go, oh yeah, this 635 00:31:30,800 --> 00:31:34,560 Speaker 2: is just because I want to fit in. But fitting in, 636 00:31:34,640 --> 00:31:37,080 Speaker 2: as Brene Brown says, is the opposite of belonging. 637 00:31:37,480 --> 00:31:40,480 Speaker 3: We'll be back right after a quick word from our sponsors. 638 00:31:42,160 --> 00:31:47,400 Speaker 2: This year, my scripture is Hebrews ten thirty eight to 639 00:31:47,440 --> 00:31:51,920 Speaker 2: thirty nine, which is, don't shrink back, don't shrink about 640 00:31:51,920 --> 00:31:57,880 Speaker 2: my faith, don't shrink about my sobriety or my choice 641 00:31:57,920 --> 00:31:59,600 Speaker 2: to live in alcohol free lifestyle. 642 00:31:59,640 --> 00:32:00,520 Speaker 1: And this came. 643 00:32:00,600 --> 00:32:03,479 Speaker 2: I mean, I'm going on six years being sober, and 644 00:32:03,560 --> 00:32:06,520 Speaker 2: I just had an event in December where I just 645 00:32:06,560 --> 00:32:09,280 Speaker 2: felt myself shrinking back because I went to that kind 646 00:32:09,280 --> 00:32:13,680 Speaker 2: of anxious place and feeling left out a little bit 647 00:32:13,760 --> 00:32:14,800 Speaker 2: and feeling othered. 648 00:32:15,840 --> 00:32:18,920 Speaker 1: And I was really upset about it. 649 00:32:20,360 --> 00:32:22,960 Speaker 2: And I went to church and I was and I 650 00:32:23,120 --> 00:32:24,840 Speaker 2: asked for prayer and like I said, this is a 651 00:32:24,880 --> 00:32:27,280 Speaker 2: new church for us, and so and it was actually 652 00:32:27,280 --> 00:32:29,600 Speaker 2: the pastor's wife who prayed for me, and she was 653 00:32:29,640 --> 00:32:32,160 Speaker 2: so lovely, but she's the one who gave me the scripture. 654 00:32:32,200 --> 00:32:34,440 Speaker 2: She goes, you know, you hear the Lord's voice. You 655 00:32:34,560 --> 00:32:36,600 Speaker 2: becoming a coach is what you're supposed to do. Because 656 00:32:36,640 --> 00:32:37,760 Speaker 2: I was like, yeah, I have to check. 657 00:32:37,960 --> 00:32:39,520 Speaker 1: I quit my job. I'm a coach. 658 00:32:39,600 --> 00:32:41,800 Speaker 2: And now all of a sudden, I'm feeling like, you know, 659 00:32:41,840 --> 00:32:44,960 Speaker 2: I was feeling othered at this event, and you know 660 00:32:45,040 --> 00:32:48,880 Speaker 2: Hebrews ten don't shrink, and I was just that's exact 661 00:32:48,960 --> 00:32:50,800 Speaker 2: because I was like whoa. You know how when somebody 662 00:32:50,840 --> 00:32:51,840 Speaker 2: prays for you and you're. 663 00:32:51,680 --> 00:32:54,120 Speaker 1: Like whoa, Because I said, that's exactly. 664 00:32:53,720 --> 00:32:55,320 Speaker 2: How I felt in the moment as I was like 665 00:32:55,480 --> 00:32:58,000 Speaker 2: just shrinking back and trying to be small, and it's 666 00:32:58,040 --> 00:33:02,200 Speaker 2: like okay, and just anchoring myself. Don't shrink about your faith. 667 00:33:02,240 --> 00:33:05,320 Speaker 2: Don't shrink about your choice to be alcohol free, because 668 00:33:05,480 --> 00:33:09,080 Speaker 2: it's it's amazing and that's what God wants wants me 669 00:33:09,120 --> 00:33:11,080 Speaker 2: to do, is be out there talking about it. 670 00:33:11,320 --> 00:33:14,480 Speaker 1: Yeah, and that's what he wants for my life. Yeah, 671 00:33:14,520 --> 00:33:15,280 Speaker 1: and I think too. 672 00:33:15,560 --> 00:33:17,880 Speaker 3: You know, you bring up an important point that like, 673 00:33:18,240 --> 00:33:20,680 Speaker 3: obviously we're both coaches but we're also both human and 674 00:33:20,800 --> 00:33:23,080 Speaker 3: just you ha telling that story right now as a 675 00:33:23,960 --> 00:33:26,560 Speaker 3: human woman, right is going to relate to someone and 676 00:33:26,600 --> 00:33:28,440 Speaker 3: it's going to help them because they felt like that. 677 00:33:29,240 --> 00:33:31,680 Speaker 3: And I also think in those moments where you do 678 00:33:31,760 --> 00:33:35,719 Speaker 3: feel like, you know, I feel different, it's it always 679 00:33:35,760 --> 00:33:39,600 Speaker 3: helps me so much. Just remember that those are so temporary, right, 680 00:33:39,600 --> 00:33:42,440 Speaker 3: It's like it's a three hour party, Like, Okay, if 681 00:33:42,440 --> 00:33:45,080 Speaker 3: I feel like a weirdo, it's okay because I'm going 682 00:33:45,120 --> 00:33:46,840 Speaker 3: to go home and I'm going to jump right back 683 00:33:46,880 --> 00:33:49,760 Speaker 3: into the love life sober community where all the people 684 00:33:49,800 --> 00:33:50,920 Speaker 3: who get it are hanging out. 685 00:33:51,360 --> 00:33:54,760 Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, yeah. And I realized it was my own thoughts. 686 00:33:54,960 --> 00:33:57,000 Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean I didn't have to believe those thoughts 687 00:33:57,040 --> 00:33:59,840 Speaker 2: because I could have believed that, hey, I'm amazing and 688 00:34:00,120 --> 00:34:01,280 Speaker 2: over here doing my own thing. 689 00:34:01,360 --> 00:34:05,440 Speaker 1: And you know, it was a series of things that I. 690 00:34:05,400 --> 00:34:08,880 Speaker 2: Went to stress, you know, and I didn't remember that 691 00:34:08,920 --> 00:34:11,160 Speaker 2: when I go to stress, my the thing that I 692 00:34:11,200 --> 00:34:13,719 Speaker 2: need to remember is I am beloved. That's like my 693 00:34:13,960 --> 00:34:16,520 Speaker 2: routine and I go back and that ah that suits 694 00:34:16,560 --> 00:34:18,719 Speaker 2: me back. But I was, you know, I was, I 695 00:34:18,760 --> 00:34:21,200 Speaker 2: was in stress and I went and I you know, 696 00:34:21,400 --> 00:34:23,480 Speaker 2: just didn't get myself out of it in that moment, 697 00:34:23,719 --> 00:34:26,640 Speaker 2: you know, and that's okay, that's going to happen. That's 698 00:34:26,680 --> 00:34:29,880 Speaker 2: going to happen. You're human. I'm a human. You know, 699 00:34:29,880 --> 00:34:32,120 Speaker 2: we're human. We don't want to be these super people, 700 00:34:32,800 --> 00:34:34,960 Speaker 2: you know. I think it helps people go oh, okay. 701 00:34:35,040 --> 00:34:38,600 Speaker 2: So if I'm feeling that way, I'm still gonna be okay, right, 702 00:34:38,800 --> 00:34:42,400 Speaker 2: doesn't mean there's anything wrong with me, you know, totally. 703 00:34:42,680 --> 00:34:45,680 Speaker 3: I actually had a therapy session this morning with my 704 00:34:45,760 --> 00:34:49,480 Speaker 3: therapist and she we were talking about something hard that 705 00:34:49,560 --> 00:34:52,759 Speaker 3: I had been through, and she like brought it back. 706 00:34:52,800 --> 00:34:55,840 Speaker 3: She's like, Okay, let's I'm hearing worth here, and I'm like, 707 00:34:56,760 --> 00:34:59,480 Speaker 3: you are. Oh my gosh, you are. And I was like, 708 00:34:59,640 --> 00:35:01,439 Speaker 3: which is It's so funny and I said this store. 709 00:35:01,480 --> 00:35:03,240 Speaker 3: I was like, I was literally just helping a client 710 00:35:03,280 --> 00:35:06,560 Speaker 3: with this yesterday, where like she was questioning her worth 711 00:35:06,600 --> 00:35:09,560 Speaker 3: and drinking, and here I am questioning my worth in 712 00:35:09,600 --> 00:35:13,200 Speaker 3: a completely different scenario, in a completely different set of 713 00:35:13,239 --> 00:35:17,080 Speaker 3: facts and experiences. But it always comes back to us 714 00:35:17,120 --> 00:35:20,320 Speaker 3: having to remind ourselves that we are loved and worthy 715 00:35:20,400 --> 00:35:22,919 Speaker 3: no matter what, because we're daughters of the king, right, 716 00:35:23,040 --> 00:35:26,200 Speaker 3: and so even if you feel othered, or you feel 717 00:35:26,200 --> 00:35:29,200 Speaker 3: like you're you haven't found your tribe yet, or you 718 00:35:29,360 --> 00:35:33,080 Speaker 3: feel any anything like that. All it so often comes 719 00:35:33,120 --> 00:35:35,880 Speaker 3: down to that, and so I would just encourage a 720 00:35:35,920 --> 00:35:38,239 Speaker 3: listener to take that right to the Lord and pray 721 00:35:38,280 --> 00:35:41,240 Speaker 3: about it. If that's like struck something with you today, 722 00:35:41,640 --> 00:35:45,240 Speaker 3: So okay, you just joined the Love Life Sober Community 723 00:35:45,280 --> 00:35:46,800 Speaker 3: as a fast pass and. 724 00:35:46,960 --> 00:35:49,680 Speaker 1: Talk a little bit about what you love about it. 725 00:35:50,120 --> 00:35:53,160 Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, Well, I feel like it's service, and 726 00:35:53,280 --> 00:35:56,280 Speaker 2: I'm really digging into service. Like I said, I'm volunteering 727 00:35:56,320 --> 00:35:58,960 Speaker 2: at church and I've talked about your book. 728 00:35:59,000 --> 00:36:01,480 Speaker 1: I've given your book to few people in my Bible study. 729 00:36:01,600 --> 00:36:05,960 Speaker 2: I really want to help women Christian women who are 730 00:36:06,000 --> 00:36:08,200 Speaker 2: struggling with their drinking, Like I have a heart for that, 731 00:36:08,760 --> 00:36:11,640 Speaker 2: and so, oh my gosh, I just go in and 732 00:36:11,680 --> 00:36:13,839 Speaker 2: I just want to love and pray for all these 733 00:36:13,880 --> 00:36:18,040 Speaker 2: women and I just you know, Christian women struggling with alcohol. 734 00:36:18,200 --> 00:36:21,160 Speaker 1: I just feel like God wants so much more for you. 735 00:36:21,920 --> 00:36:25,719 Speaker 2: And it's a beautiful space, so encouraging. I mean, I 736 00:36:25,760 --> 00:36:29,400 Speaker 2: can't you know, so many people commenting like if you 737 00:36:29,600 --> 00:36:32,800 Speaker 2: feel alone, this is a place where you will feel 738 00:36:32,920 --> 00:36:35,800 Speaker 2: like you found a tribe that you found other people. 739 00:36:35,880 --> 00:36:38,880 Speaker 2: And that was so important for me too, is when 740 00:36:38,920 --> 00:36:42,560 Speaker 2: I found other women who struggled with alcohol, and some 741 00:36:42,640 --> 00:36:46,280 Speaker 2: of them were Christians two at that time where. 742 00:36:46,120 --> 00:36:47,520 Speaker 1: You're like, oh, I found my people. 743 00:36:47,640 --> 00:36:49,120 Speaker 2: Like I said, when I was in the AA, I 744 00:36:49,160 --> 00:36:51,839 Speaker 2: was like this is these aren't my people. But when 745 00:36:51,840 --> 00:36:56,160 Speaker 2: you find your people, then you don't feel so alone. 746 00:36:56,280 --> 00:37:00,240 Speaker 2: And that's so important because isolation is what keeps us 747 00:37:00,360 --> 00:37:05,720 Speaker 2: stuck right and honestly, and this may be a little controversial, 748 00:37:05,880 --> 00:37:10,840 Speaker 2: but I really feel like alcohol, especially wine for women, 749 00:37:11,120 --> 00:37:12,240 Speaker 2: is a tool of the enemy. 750 00:37:12,560 --> 00:37:13,920 Speaker 1: Yeah, totally, it really is. 751 00:37:13,960 --> 00:37:16,440 Speaker 2: It keeps us down, It keeps us in shame. It 752 00:37:16,520 --> 00:37:20,800 Speaker 2: keeps us from realizing our potential. And really we still 753 00:37:20,840 --> 00:37:23,360 Speaker 2: maybe just like all the sinners in the Bible, we 754 00:37:23,480 --> 00:37:25,200 Speaker 2: still can be used by God. 755 00:37:25,440 --> 00:37:28,480 Speaker 1: You know we can. We're you know, we're saints. 756 00:37:28,520 --> 00:37:31,680 Speaker 2: That's sin, right, But think of how much more you 757 00:37:31,760 --> 00:37:33,920 Speaker 2: can do if you're not underneath the. 758 00:37:34,040 --> 00:37:36,799 Speaker 1: Alcohol shame cloud. Yeah, you know. 759 00:37:37,280 --> 00:37:40,000 Speaker 2: And I see that with the women that I with, 760 00:37:40,440 --> 00:37:42,400 Speaker 2: the women that I coach, like all of a sudden, 761 00:37:42,400 --> 00:37:44,360 Speaker 2: they're like, oh, their life just takes off. 762 00:37:44,960 --> 00:37:46,960 Speaker 1: It's like we get that out of the way. 763 00:37:47,040 --> 00:37:50,239 Speaker 2: And boom, you just have this more direct line, not 764 00:37:50,320 --> 00:37:52,920 Speaker 2: that you didn't have. You know, God is always there, 765 00:37:53,120 --> 00:37:55,200 Speaker 2: Jesus is always there, but you just feel so much 766 00:37:55,239 --> 00:37:59,280 Speaker 2: more connected and then you just you find your purpose 767 00:37:59,680 --> 00:38:02,359 Speaker 2: and then you and it's just amazing when I see 768 00:38:02,360 --> 00:38:04,640 Speaker 2: this happen with so many women. So I've seen it 769 00:38:04,680 --> 00:38:06,680 Speaker 2: happen with me. I've seen it happen with so many 770 00:38:06,680 --> 00:38:08,440 Speaker 2: women's life. I feel like the enemy is just like, oh, 771 00:38:08,480 --> 00:38:09,879 Speaker 2: if I can get a hooked on wine, I can 772 00:38:09,960 --> 00:38:12,359 Speaker 2: just walk away. Oh the wine will do the wine 773 00:38:12,360 --> 00:38:13,120 Speaker 2: will do the work. 774 00:38:13,600 --> 00:38:13,920 Speaker 1: Yes. 775 00:38:15,400 --> 00:38:17,560 Speaker 3: And I think that's what's cool about the community too, 776 00:38:17,680 --> 00:38:21,759 Speaker 3: is it. It's gals of all like levels that you 777 00:38:21,800 --> 00:38:24,560 Speaker 3: want to call it on their alcohol free journey. Right, 778 00:38:24,600 --> 00:38:27,359 Speaker 3: It's like gals that are brand new facing that very 779 00:38:27,360 --> 00:38:31,040 Speaker 3: first vacation, and it's gals like us that are six 780 00:38:31,120 --> 00:38:34,240 Speaker 3: years down the road, and then it's everybody in between. 781 00:38:34,440 --> 00:38:38,840 Speaker 3: Because those Christian gals that do find kind of success 782 00:38:38,880 --> 00:38:42,480 Speaker 3: in their alcohol free life and love Jesus want to 783 00:38:42,480 --> 00:38:44,840 Speaker 3: do exactly what you're doing, which is turn around and serve. 784 00:38:44,960 --> 00:38:47,520 Speaker 3: And so everybody's like, wait a minute, how can I help? 785 00:38:47,560 --> 00:38:49,759 Speaker 3: And I'm like, just stay in and keep praying for 786 00:38:49,840 --> 00:38:51,360 Speaker 3: people and it's so cool. 787 00:38:52,120 --> 00:38:56,720 Speaker 2: Yeah, and adding the element of prayer to our coaching, yeah, 788 00:38:57,120 --> 00:39:00,919 Speaker 2: it just super charges it, you know. And oh yeah, 789 00:39:00,960 --> 00:39:04,040 Speaker 2: I love adding prayer for my clients. I pray for 790 00:39:04,080 --> 00:39:08,080 Speaker 2: them anyway, whether they want me to or not on 791 00:39:08,120 --> 00:39:11,439 Speaker 2: my own. But when I have you know, I work 792 00:39:11,480 --> 00:39:13,760 Speaker 2: with I'll work with anyone. But if I do happen 793 00:39:13,800 --> 00:39:16,160 Speaker 2: to have and I seem to be drawing more of 794 00:39:16,200 --> 00:39:19,960 Speaker 2: a Christian clientele, when I have Christian clients, then we 795 00:39:20,160 --> 00:39:23,160 Speaker 2: can add scripture. We can add prayer to the coaching, 796 00:39:23,200 --> 00:39:24,320 Speaker 2: which is amazing. 797 00:39:24,640 --> 00:39:26,120 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I love that. 798 00:39:26,920 --> 00:39:30,839 Speaker 3: Okay, what's one tiny new action that you can give 799 00:39:31,040 --> 00:39:33,640 Speaker 3: the listeners? And maybe it's just go to the show 800 00:39:33,640 --> 00:39:36,280 Speaker 3: notes and download your free vacation guide. 801 00:39:36,360 --> 00:39:37,239 Speaker 1: But what would it be? 802 00:39:38,680 --> 00:39:42,720 Speaker 2: Yeah, that would be good, download the vacation guide. 803 00:39:43,120 --> 00:39:44,000 Speaker 1: I think the most. 804 00:39:44,160 --> 00:39:47,880 Speaker 2: I think something that I've noticed with clients is what 805 00:39:47,920 --> 00:39:51,319 Speaker 2: I what I mentioned before, honoring honoring this, you know, 806 00:39:51,360 --> 00:39:52,840 Speaker 2: we kind of go, well, I should be able to 807 00:39:52,840 --> 00:39:56,279 Speaker 2: just quit drinking and should be fine, Like honoring that 808 00:39:56,760 --> 00:39:59,480 Speaker 2: change is hard. I think that takes a lot of 809 00:39:59,520 --> 00:40:01,800 Speaker 2: the comf flicked out of it. If you just instead 810 00:40:01,840 --> 00:40:04,120 Speaker 2: of fighting it like, why is that so hard? If 811 00:40:04,120 --> 00:40:08,160 Speaker 2: you just go, oh yeah, change is hard. Change, you know, 812 00:40:08,200 --> 00:40:11,520 Speaker 2: any change is hard, you know, And if you're feeling 813 00:40:11,560 --> 00:40:13,839 Speaker 2: the burn, I put this in my newsletter this week. 814 00:40:13,840 --> 00:40:17,120 Speaker 1: If you're feeling the burn, you're doing it right. If 815 00:40:17,120 --> 00:40:17,680 Speaker 1: I go to the. 816 00:40:17,680 --> 00:40:20,279 Speaker 2: Gym and I work out and my butt is not sore, 817 00:40:20,360 --> 00:40:22,640 Speaker 2: because that's the part I'm always working, then I feel 818 00:40:22,640 --> 00:40:25,120 Speaker 2: like I didn't get a good enough workout. So if 819 00:40:25,160 --> 00:40:27,960 Speaker 2: you're if you're not, if you're not feeling the burn, 820 00:40:28,120 --> 00:40:34,600 Speaker 2: you're not. You know, change requires discomfort. All change requires discomfort, 821 00:40:34,640 --> 00:40:37,640 Speaker 2: and that's okay. Yeah, just honor that. Wow, this is 822 00:40:37,680 --> 00:40:39,920 Speaker 2: a little hard. But I can do hard things. And 823 00:40:39,960 --> 00:40:43,600 Speaker 2: when for women, when we look back at our history, hun, 824 00:40:43,880 --> 00:40:45,040 Speaker 2: well you could do hard things. 825 00:40:45,120 --> 00:40:48,480 Speaker 1: We've all done them. Yeah, yeah, that's so good. 826 00:40:48,960 --> 00:40:52,400 Speaker 3: And tell the listeners where to find you. 827 00:40:52,400 --> 00:40:55,720 Speaker 2: You can find me at Susan Larkin Coaching dot com 828 00:40:56,080 --> 00:40:59,160 Speaker 2: and I would love to connect with you. I do 829 00:40:59,239 --> 00:41:02,000 Speaker 2: a weekly new letter which is just an easy way 830 00:41:02,080 --> 00:41:05,759 Speaker 2: to get to know me, and I share different resources 831 00:41:05,800 --> 00:41:09,800 Speaker 2: there and on my website you can find the Alcohol 832 00:41:09,840 --> 00:41:15,360 Speaker 2: Free Vacation Workbook, which is really quite a robust resource. 833 00:41:15,440 --> 00:41:19,000 Speaker 2: So I really do encourage you to download that. If 834 00:41:19,080 --> 00:41:21,239 Speaker 2: you download that, you will end up on my newsletter list. 835 00:41:21,239 --> 00:41:23,120 Speaker 2: If you don't want to be on it, you can unsubscribe. 836 00:41:23,160 --> 00:41:26,400 Speaker 2: But I but I do. I feel like I share, 837 00:41:26,760 --> 00:41:30,759 Speaker 2: I share moments, I share deeper things than what I 838 00:41:30,800 --> 00:41:31,839 Speaker 2: share on my and I have a. 839 00:41:31,800 --> 00:41:34,360 Speaker 1: Podcast also, it's called Sober and Lit. 840 00:41:34,640 --> 00:41:39,319 Speaker 2: And on the podcast, we share my co host and 841 00:41:39,360 --> 00:41:43,719 Speaker 2: I we really share tactics and things you can do, 842 00:41:43,880 --> 00:41:47,600 Speaker 2: actionable things you can do in your alcohol free journey. 843 00:41:48,280 --> 00:41:49,839 Speaker 2: What else are we going to call it? You know, 844 00:41:50,200 --> 00:41:55,839 Speaker 2: exploration and tools. So it's another resource. Free resource is 845 00:41:55,880 --> 00:41:57,200 Speaker 2: the Sober and Lit podcast. 846 00:41:58,680 --> 00:42:01,719 Speaker 3: Thank you, babe, Thank you for this chat. It was 847 00:42:01,760 --> 00:42:04,520 Speaker 3: so helpful. I know what's going to encourage so many gals. 848 00:42:05,719 --> 00:42:08,000 Speaker 3: Head to the show notes scals. If you want to 849 00:42:08,120 --> 00:42:11,279 Speaker 3: learn more about Susan and head to our website. There's 850 00:42:11,320 --> 00:42:13,319 Speaker 3: also a link there to come join us in the 851 00:42:13,360 --> 00:42:15,520 Speaker 3: Love Life Sober community. You've got to hang out with 852 00:42:15,600 --> 00:42:19,040 Speaker 3: us there as well. And thanks for listening. We will 853 00:42:19,080 --> 00:42:21,879 Speaker 3: see you next week. Thank you for spending this time 854 00:42:21,920 --> 00:42:25,120 Speaker 3: with me on Love Live Sober. If today's conversation stirred 855 00:42:25,160 --> 00:42:27,719 Speaker 3: something in your heart, don't rush past it, take it 856 00:42:27,760 --> 00:42:31,280 Speaker 3: to prayer. If you're feeling ready for deeper connection and support, 857 00:42:31,640 --> 00:42:34,400 Speaker 3: I'd love to invite you into the love Life Sober community, 858 00:42:34,600 --> 00:42:38,320 Speaker 3: a grace filled, shame free space where real connection grows 859 00:42:38,600 --> 00:42:41,560 Speaker 3: and lasting change takes root. You can find the link 860 00:42:41,640 --> 00:42:45,360 Speaker 3: to join us in the show notes. Love Life Sober 861 00:42:45,400 --> 00:42:48,479 Speaker 3: is part of the Life Audio podcast Network, where faith 862 00:42:48,600 --> 00:42:51,480 Speaker 3: centered podcasts help you grow deeper in your walk with Christ. 863 00:42:51,880 --> 00:42:55,800 Speaker 3: You can find more faith centered podcasts at lifeaudio dot com. 864 00:42:56,239 --> 00:42:59,640 Speaker 3: Until next time, be gentle with yourself, stay curious, and 865 00:42:59,680 --> 00:43:00,880 Speaker 3: trust God's promises. 866 00:43:01,320 --> 00:43:02,759 Speaker 1: He has freedom waiting for you