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Speaker 1: Life Audio.

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Speaker 2: Join us in celebrating an incredible milestone as the beloved

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Speaker 2: Jesus Calling brand reaches fifty million lives impacted. As we

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Speaker 2: honor the legacy of author Sarah Young, we reflect on

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Speaker 2: the stories from celebrities, pastors, authors, actors, singers, athletes, scholars,

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Speaker 2: and everyday people who have been inspired by her devotional writings.

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Speaker 2: To join in the celebration and to hear some of

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Speaker 2: the stories of people whose faith journeys have been impacted

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Speaker 2: by all the writings of Sarah Young, head over to

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Speaker 2: Jesus Calling dot com.

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Speaker 3: I've made decisions that have knocked myself down through horrible,

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Speaker 3: unwise decisions, and He's still been there to help me

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Speaker 3: get back up. I had to face the consequences of it,

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Speaker 3: but he always came through and helped me to rebuild

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Speaker 3: and become better because of it.

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Speaker 2: Welcome to the Jesus Calling Podcast. What happens when the

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Speaker 2: question am I Enough? Follows you into every part of

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Speaker 2: your life. For mental health therapist Trey Tucker, that question

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Speaker 2: isn't just theoretical, It's something he's seen affect the lives

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Speaker 2: and countless men, and one he's wrestled with himself. Next

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Speaker 2: On the show, writer and mother kit Willis Rutherford invites

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Speaker 2: us into a quiet, sacred moment in her own life.

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Speaker 2: As her grandmother faced her final days, a tiny cross

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Speaker 2: appeared in the screen of her bedroom window, unchanged through

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Speaker 2: storms and still visible decades later. What began as a

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Speaker 2: mystery became a lasting symbol of comfort for her family.

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Speaker 2: Let's begin with Trey's story.

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Speaker 3: My name is Trey Tucker. I'm a mental health therapist

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Speaker 3: and I love helping people figure out who they are

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Speaker 3: and then fully become the best version of that. That

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Speaker 3: includes much more than just your thoughts and emotions. And

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Speaker 3: I love being able to mentor people and just even

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Speaker 3: through friendships, to really help people figure out who are

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Speaker 3: they and how do they fully become that and step

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Speaker 3: into it. When I was growing up, by loved sports.

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Speaker 3: I loved baseball and football the most, and probably like

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Speaker 3: any kid growing up, playing baseball, I thought, you know what,

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Speaker 3: I'm gonna play in the big leagues one day. So

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Speaker 3: playing little league and then middle school and high school ball,

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Speaker 3: it became repeatedly clear that major league baseball was not

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Speaker 3: in my future. So I started turning my attention to

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Speaker 3: coaching because even looking back at my childhood years, people

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Speaker 3: just tended to open up to me when I wasn't

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Speaker 3: really trying to get them to open up. And then

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Speaker 3: I always liked to listening more than talking. I just

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Speaker 3: always loved hearing people's stories and figuring out what made

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Speaker 3: them tick. And then I started reading books about some

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Speaker 3: of those people who had the huge highs but then

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Speaker 3: also had the crashes, and I started getting equally interested

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Speaker 3: in that process of like what made somebody just take

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Speaker 3: their life from seemingly the top down to the bottom

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Speaker 3: of the barrel. And so I took the baseball and

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Speaker 3: football love and first went into coaching, but always had

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Speaker 3: it in the back of my mind. And I'm able

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Speaker 3: to reach people, and even in the athletic field, I

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Speaker 3: can help them adjust their mindset as a coach. And

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Speaker 3: I didn't know I was on the way to becoming

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Speaker 3: a therapist. I just went and got a master's in counseling,

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Speaker 3: and it's made a massive difference both in my own

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Speaker 3: life and in other people's lives, because you got to

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Speaker 3: be able to help yourself first, and honestly, that master's

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Speaker 3: helped me figure out some things of my own that

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Speaker 3: helped me kind of Untie some knots, and then that

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Speaker 3: freed me up to keep helping more. After I got saved,

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Speaker 3: I realized what better picture of the Gospel is there

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Speaker 3: than somebody who would leave the comfort and safety of

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Speaker 3: their own home and hometown set foot into a situation

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Speaker 3: that is truly hell on earth and dangerous and unpredictable,

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Speaker 3: just to rescue people that really have no idea that

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Speaker 3: He's coming and put everything on the line for them

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Speaker 3: to get them out of there and to help them

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Speaker 3: live the kind of life that he wants them to live.

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Speaker 3: And I thought, man's that's at least a small version

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Speaker 3: of what Jesus does for us. I first got into

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Speaker 3: this whole world of stopping the human traffickers by watching

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Speaker 3: the movie Taken with leam Neesen, And until that movie,

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Speaker 3: I had no idea that this was even an issue.

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Speaker 3: There was something in me that just was infuriated. I

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Speaker 3: can't put words to it. Of course, I've been mad

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Speaker 3: about other things in the past, but there was something

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Speaker 3: that was deeper rooted about this type of anger, and

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Speaker 3: I just I had a sense, like I knew that

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Speaker 3: I had to do something. It felt supernatural at the time,

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Speaker 3: and I wasn't even a believer then, But there was

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Speaker 3: something in me. It's like, I don't want to just

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Speaker 3: donate money to something like this. I want to actually

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Speaker 3: put my feet on the ground and actually do something

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Speaker 3: physically about this. And it just stuck with me, and

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Speaker 3: I educated myself more and more, and I just kept

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Speaker 3: trying to learn what are the options for somebody like

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Speaker 3: me to be able to help because I don't have

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Speaker 3: any background in law enforcement whatsoever, and so I just

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Speaker 3: started reaching out to these organizations and finally I found

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Speaker 3: one that was interested in me, and I trusted them

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Speaker 3: because you know, if you're going to do this stuff,

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Speaker 3: you've got to do your homework on them, just to

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Speaker 3: make sure their trusts were me as well. And both

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Speaker 3: sides we trusted each other well enough to go on

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Speaker 3: this trip in Southeast Asia, where it's just a seemingly

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Speaker 3: endless problem. I don't know on this side of heaven

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Speaker 3: whether we will totally eradicate this issue, but it's worth

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Speaker 3: the tribe. The girl that we were trying to rescue,

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Speaker 3: in particular, she was fifteen and just as sweet as

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Speaker 3: can be, and you could just see it that the

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Speaker 3: light in her eyes was starting to go out. They

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Speaker 3: were still a flicker going on, but you could see

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Speaker 3: this world that she was in was slowly killing her

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Speaker 3: from the inside out. And I just kept praying, Lord,

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Speaker 3: please help this go well, because if it doesn't, I

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Speaker 3: don't care about my safety so much, but I care

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Speaker 3: about what happens to her. And throughout the whole trip,

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Speaker 3: we rescued twenty girls that we're trapped into human trafficking.

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Speaker 3: In my experience, every guy that I've talked to has

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Speaker 3: some sort of question. Am I enough? It's the word

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Speaker 3: that haunts him, and you can fill in the blank

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Speaker 3: with whatever word you want before that, so often it's

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Speaker 3: am I good enough? Am I smart enough? Am I

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Speaker 3: rich enough? Am I good looking enough? Am I athletic enough?

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Speaker 3: Whatever it is that they're always trying to measure up,

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Speaker 3: usually to the guys around now. One of the things

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Speaker 3: that shocks guys when I work with them is we'll

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Speaker 3: talk about girls and their efforts to impress the girls

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Speaker 3: and get the girls and all that. But what I

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Speaker 3: tell them is, did you know that your efforts to

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Speaker 3: get girls are really just an effort to impress the

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Speaker 3: guys in your life. They'll look at me like I've

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Speaker 3: got three heads, but then when we actually think it through,

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Speaker 3: they're like, oh, yeah, you're right. I'm really just trying

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Speaker 3: to get them to think that I'm man enough or

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Speaker 3: good enough. So enough for being not enough is the

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Speaker 3: thing that haunts the guys the most, and it can

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Speaker 3: drive you to make some really amazingly terrible decisions, but

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Speaker 3: it can also be deceptively helpful in driving you to

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Speaker 3: some great successes. But if you don't already have a

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Speaker 3: really strong understanding of who you are and what really

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Speaker 3: makes you enough, even your good decisions and your strong

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Speaker 3: successes at a worldly level, they're just going to leave

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Speaker 3: you frustrated because you're going to end up like that

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Speaker 3: guy that I talked about earlier who had everything you

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Speaker 3: thought was going to make him feel like, yeah, I'm

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Speaker 3: the man, and then he was not only frustrated and confused,

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Speaker 3: he was just downright angry. And that's unfortunately the story

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Speaker 3: that I see a lot. You know, it's the guys

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Speaker 3: who have the outward problems, like some sort of substance issue,

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Speaker 3: those are the easy ones to help them pinpoint with

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Speaker 3: the root cause going on is But the guys you

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Speaker 3: don't realize need the help. It's probably eighty percent of

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Speaker 3: the guys out there, they're the ones who have at

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Speaker 3: all the figured it out, and they look like they've

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Speaker 3: got it all together because on the surface, they got

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Speaker 3: all the boxes checked. But if you gave them truth serum,

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Speaker 3: they're walking around empty, confused, insecure, and they their way

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Speaker 3: of coping with that just looks a little more refined,

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Speaker 3: but it's the same thing as if they had some

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Speaker 3: sort of addiction going on. Looking back at all the

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Speaker 3: experiences that I've had, is that I finally got it

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Speaker 3: into my body or my heart that God is going

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Speaker 3: to come through, and that since He's going to come through,

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Speaker 3: that means I'm going to be okay. And I've made

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Speaker 3: decisions that have knocked myself down through horrible, unwise decisions,

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Speaker 3: and He's still been there to help me get back up.

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Speaker 3: I had to face the consequences of it, but He

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Speaker 3: always came through and helped me to rebuild and become

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Speaker 3: better because of it. And so I think it's helped

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Speaker 3: me to purposely put myself in uncomfortable situations, in situations

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Speaker 3: that scare me, because I just know the more I

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Speaker 3: do that, the more I'm going to really feel and

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Speaker 3: experience God coming through for me. And then I can

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Speaker 3: help other people do the same thing in their own

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Speaker 3: walk as well. Jesus calling December first, I love you

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Speaker 3: with an everlasting love which flows out of the depths

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Speaker 3: of eternity. Before you were born, I knew you. Ponder

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Speaker 3: the awesome mystery of a love that encompasses you from

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Speaker 3: before birth to beyond the grave. Modern man has lost

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Speaker 3: a perspective of eternity. To distract himself from the gaping

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Speaker 3: jaws of death, he engages in ceaseless activity and amusement.

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Speaker 3: The practice of being still in My presence is almost

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Speaker 3: a lost art. Yet it is this very stillness that

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Speaker 3: enables you to experience my eternal love. Do you need

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Speaker 3: the certainty of my loving presence in order to weather

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Speaker 3: the storms of life? During times of severe testing, Even

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Speaker 3: the best theology can fail you if it isn't accompanied

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Speaker 3: by experiential knowledge. The ultimate protection against sinking during life

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Speaker 3: storms is devoting time to develop your friendship with me.

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Speaker 2: To learn more about Trey Tucker, visit Rugged Counseling dot

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Speaker 2: com and be sure to check out his new book,

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Speaker 2: Tough Enough. Hone your habits, cultivate purpose, and forge genuine

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Speaker 2: strength at your favorite retailer. Stay tuned to Kit Willis

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Speaker 2: Rutherford's story. After a brief message, celebrate the mothers, grandmothers,

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Speaker 2: and mom figures in your life with the Jesus. Listens

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Speaker 2: for Mom's prayer devotional I Beloved author Sarah Young. Inside

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Speaker 2: you'll find fifty prayers that speak to the power of love,

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Speaker 2: the gift of strength, trusting God during challenging times, have ingcourage,

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Speaker 2: and so much more. Accompanying the prayers are beautiful illustrations, scripture, verses,

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Speaker 2: and quotes that will uplift women of every age and

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Speaker 2: help them talk and walk more closely with Jesus, making

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Speaker 2: it the perfect gift for mother's days, birthdays and more.

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Speaker 2: Find it today at your favorite retailer. Our next guest

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Speaker 2: is Willis Rutherford, a wife, mom, and writer who lives

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Speaker 2: in Lexington, Kentucky. Kit shares about the influence her grandmother

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Speaker 2: had on her wife and a sign that she believes

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Speaker 2: was heaven sent during her grandmother's illness and subsequent passing

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Speaker 2: that has become a lasting symbol of comfort for her family.

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Speaker 1: I'm Kit Willis Rutherford, and probably my primary designation in

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Speaker 1: my heart and title is as a mother. I have

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Speaker 1: four sons.

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Speaker 2: I am a wife, a daughter.

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Speaker 1: A sister, and a friend, and somewhere down on the

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Speaker 1: list also a tribute writer. To my designation, it's something

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Speaker 1: that I've been working out for a very long time,

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Speaker 1: but have not quite yet seen come to fruition. All

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Speaker 1: of my core memories from childhood involved my grandparents, who

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Speaker 1: were pivotal in my life. I was the first grandchild,

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Speaker 1: the only granddaughter, and there was a passinette set up

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Speaker 1: beside my grandparents' bed in this tiny little community called

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Speaker 1: Buffalo Junction, Virginia. My parents were sent upstairs and told

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Speaker 1: to rest and recover, and they would take things from there,

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Speaker 1: and my grandparents, whom I called Nana and Papa, took

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Speaker 1: it from there. They were instrumental at every turn in

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Speaker 1: my life. We only lived five miles from them. I

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Speaker 1: was with them so frequently that it doesn't feel like

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Speaker 1: I would have had a childhood without them being such

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Speaker 1: an integral part of that. Most of our holiday celebrations

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Speaker 1: were in their home, which for me was always a

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Speaker 1: place of such warmth and energy and just pure joy.

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Speaker 1: We always attended the same church. We always sat on

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Speaker 1: the seventh pew. My grandfather's family had given the land

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Speaker 1: and built this little church that then sort of evolved

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Speaker 1: over time. I sat beside my grandmother every Sunday. It

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Speaker 1: couldn't have been a happier, happier childhood than the one

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Speaker 1: that I was blessed to have with them. My grandmother

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Speaker 1: was always there, and it was that soft, reassuring presence.

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Speaker 1: I feel like that really resonated with me, that you know,

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Speaker 1: we show up to church, but we show up for people,

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Speaker 1: and she did that. She was always such a pillar

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Speaker 1: quietly met needs without ever being prompted to do so.

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Speaker 1: I had a first job in a college community in

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Speaker 1: Virginia and I got the very sad news that she

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Speaker 1: was being transported from the local hospital to Duke with

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Speaker 1: what they believed was an inoperable brain tumor. And I

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Speaker 1: dropped everything and immediately went to Durham. And she was

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Speaker 1: calm and resolved, and I was not. The next day,

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Speaker 1: I remember walking into the room and she had been praying,

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Speaker 1: she had been on her knees praying, and a social

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Speaker 1: worker came into the room, who I know meant every

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Speaker 1: good will when she said, you may be asking why

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Speaker 1: me and my grandmother just put up her hand and

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Speaker 1: then I said, absolutely not. Why not me? It said

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Speaker 1: to me that, you know, just because we are filled

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Speaker 1: with faith, or we are filled with joy or any

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Speaker 1: other wonderful attribute that were not immune from the world,

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Speaker 1: the bad things in the world sort of creeping in.

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Speaker 1: And to hear her say why not me, I don't

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Speaker 1: deserve anything more or less than anyone else in the

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Speaker 1: world was a really foundational moment for me faith wise,

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Speaker 1: because here she was facing death. The tumor was inoperable,

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Speaker 1: She was not strong enough for chemotherapy, and so they

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Speaker 1: sent her home and we did a number of radiation treatments.

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Speaker 1: My mother was her primary caregiver, my uncle in small doses,

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Speaker 1: and I came back and forth from my job often

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Speaker 1: to help my mother, help my grandfather, and just to

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Speaker 1: be with her. And when she was too weak to

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Speaker 1: walk and was in a week wheelchair, we would push

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Speaker 1: her from room to room. And one day in nineteen

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Speaker 1: ninety seven, she was sitting by the large double picture

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Speaker 1: window in their bedroom and she pointed up and she said,

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Speaker 1: would you look at that? That looks like a perfect

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Speaker 1: little cross, and the screen of the window, and my

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Speaker 1: mother and I both sort of looked at it and said, well,

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Speaker 1: wonder what on earth could have made that. Well, my

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Speaker 1: grandfather was intrigued as well, and we called him in

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Speaker 1: and said, Papa, look at this, and he said, well,

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Speaker 1: that is really unusual, because, when I tell you, it

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Speaker 1: was precisely inside these ity, tiny bitty blocks of the screen.

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Speaker 1: And for a long time we just said, wonder what

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Speaker 1: could have made that? Do you think a little insect

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Speaker 1: made it? Do you think it's a little bit of dirt?

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Speaker 1: But there was no other debris anywhere outside of these

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Speaker 1: very finite lines. That became something that daily we would

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Speaker 1: push her to the window and examine, and it never changed.

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Speaker 1: In southern Virginia, we have a fair number of remnant

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Speaker 1: hurricane weather happenings that have occurred. There was a terrible

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Speaker 1: hail storm during this time that broke a number of

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Speaker 1: storm windows on the house. But this little cross remained

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Speaker 1: completely unchanged until nineteen ninety nine. And she passed away

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Speaker 1: on July twenty seventh, nineteen ninety nine. And at some

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Speaker 1: point during the immediate days following her death, when we

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Speaker 1: were trying to take away some of the hospital equipment

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Speaker 1: and try very hard to re establish a feeling of

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Speaker 1: the home's former joyful presence. I walked to the window

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Speaker 1: and my mother and I both looked at it together

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Speaker 1: and commented that there was a tiny little crack in

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Speaker 1: the cross where light came through that had not before.

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Speaker 1: And we called Papa in to look at it, and

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Speaker 1: he said, well, he called her party and he said, well,

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Speaker 1: you know, Purdy's little cross has a tiny little crack

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Speaker 1: in it. Breaking seemed to be a theme, you know,

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Speaker 1: we were all breaking down. Her loss was so profound.

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Speaker 1: It was the first person that I had ever loved

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Speaker 1: with abandon that left, and it had a deep, deep

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Speaker 1: impact on all of us. The cross remained, it stayed steadfast,

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Speaker 1: save this one tiny, tiny little crack in it, and

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Speaker 1: we all would go by the window anytime we were

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Speaker 1: in the house. When I would come home from Roanoke, Virginia,

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Speaker 1: where I was living, I would never fail to go

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Speaker 1: to the window and just check it, just look at it.

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Speaker 1: And nothing, no storm, no wind, no rain, nothing ever

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Speaker 1: touched it. Even for the eight years that existed between

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Speaker 1: the time that my Nanna passed away and when Papa

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Speaker 1: died in two thousand and seven, nothing ever ever touched

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Speaker 1: this little cross. But when he passed away, there was

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Speaker 1: a second small fissure in the cross. How do you

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Speaker 1: explain something like this that's lasted and lasted and lasted,

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Speaker 1: but it is still there twenty plus years lif almost

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Speaker 1: thirty years later, the cross is still right where it started.

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Speaker 1: One year for Christmas, my mom somehow got a great

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Speaker 1: photograph of the cross in the screen and she framed

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Speaker 1: it for both me and my brother for Christmas, And

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Speaker 1: so it sits in both of our homes. That veil

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Speaker 1: between Heaven and Earth is so thin, and we really can,

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Speaker 1: from time to time glimpse little bits of heaven sent

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Speaker 1: love and heaven sent information. A dear friend of mine

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Speaker 1: gave me my very first copy of Jesus Calling, and

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Speaker 1: it was such I've read a lot of different devotionals

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Speaker 1: through the years, but Jesus Calling for Me was the

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Speaker 1: one that just resonated most profoundly because it felt like

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Speaker 1: a conversation. I've got that Jesus Calling for moms that

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Speaker 1: I love, where you can record little details and kind

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Speaker 1: of journal alongside. Were so in need of conversation, and

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Speaker 1: each day somehow it was telling me exactly what I

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Speaker 1: needed to hear. So for me, that was the greatest connection,

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Speaker 1: because you know, I would pick up my copy on

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Speaker 1: the daily basis and read and I would think, Oh,

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Speaker 1: you really wanted to tell me that today, didn't you.

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Speaker 1: And I loved it. In the years since her passing,

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Speaker 1: I've had some extraordinarily hard times that have come. My

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Speaker 1: mother has triple negative breast cancer. My father has just

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Speaker 1: been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. My husband and our family

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Speaker 1: experienced a catastrophic financial loss of the business from which

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Speaker 1: I don't know that we'll ever fully recover. But in

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Speaker 1: all of these things, I feel like hardship has shaped

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Speaker 1: my faith and been truly the balm against the agony

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Speaker 1: of such a broken world, where there is so much

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Speaker 1: sickness and so much grief and so much hardship. And

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Speaker 1: I truly credit the way I was lovingly nourished and

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Speaker 1: brought up as a child, both with my parents and

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Speaker 1: my grandparents as foundationally giving me the skills to navigate

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Speaker 1: all of these things. I know that one of the

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Speaker 1: best pieces of spiritual advice that I've ever gotten came

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Speaker 1: from my sweet Mama. And I was struggling so mightily

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Speaker 1: in the midst of our financial ruin, and I said,

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Speaker 1: I just don't even know what to pray anymore, and

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Speaker 1: Mama told me, don't don't even try, just say God

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Speaker 1: hear my heart. And sometimes there aren't words. And I

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Speaker 1: think that that initial surrender of I don't know where

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Speaker 1: to start, I don't know where to go from here.

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Speaker 1: I'm overwhelmed. I don't know how else to pivot. And honestly,

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Speaker 1: I think that's why Jesus calling as a devotional means

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Speaker 1: so much. It's not so lengthy. Each day is just enough.

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Speaker 1: And it feels like that it is that whisper of Okay,

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Speaker 1: I've got you on the line. I'm calling to tell

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Speaker 1: you here's what I want you to know today. How

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Speaker 1: are you going to take that and move throughout your

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Speaker 1: day and throughout your life with it? And I feel

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Speaker 1: like it's in that that you open yourself to more

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Speaker 1: opportunities to see those little signs that you think, no way,

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Speaker 1: how did that happen? How did that little cross get here?

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Speaker 1: How did that little cardinal land on my window sill

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Speaker 1: this morning? How did anything happen? I think it's the questions,

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Speaker 1: the how, and the stillness and the peacefulness that comes

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Speaker 1: from just saying right now, I don't know what else

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Speaker 1: to say, Just hear my whole soul crying out to you.

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Speaker 1: That can make such a difference.

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Speaker 2: To learn more about kit Willis Rutherford and her upcoming

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Speaker 2: writing project, please visit her on social media. If you'd

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Speaker 2: like to hear more stories about how God shows up

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Speaker 2: in our lives, check out our interview with Brandy Rhodes.

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Speaker 2: Next time on the Jesus Calling podcast, we'll hear from

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Speaker 2: astronaut Butcher Wilmore and his amazing experiences with NASA and

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Speaker 2: the wonder of see the Earth for the first time

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Speaker 2: from the depths of space.

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Speaker 4: The first time that I actually saw the planet from above,

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Speaker 4: it was during the accent, and I saw the clouds

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Speaker 4: from way above for the first time. As we rolled

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Speaker 4: because of the orientation of the Space Shuttle, I looked

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Speaker 4: out my window and I saw up the coastline of

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Speaker 4: the eastern Sea border of the United States, and it

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Speaker 4: was just amazing.

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Speaker 2: Thanks for listening to the Jesus Calling Stories of Faith

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Speaker 2: podcast on the Life Audio Network. Every week, we'll bring

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Speaker 2: you stories from people who share their journeys of faith

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Speaker 2: and how prayer and a relationship with God transformed their lives.

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Speaker 2: Be sure to follow us on Apple, Spotify, iHeart, or

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Speaker 2: wherever you listen to podcasts and leave us a review

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Speaker 2: so others can be inspired weekly by these stories of faith. Finally,

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Speaker 2: you can find encouragement resources and more on the Jesus

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Speaker 2: Calling website at Jesus Calling dot com