1 00:00:20,196 --> 00:00:23,236 Speaker 1: Hi friend, I'm so glad you're here today. Let's learn 2 00:00:23,276 --> 00:00:26,916 Speaker 1: how to raise our kids to love God, respect authority, 3 00:00:27,196 --> 00:00:31,036 Speaker 1: and do what's right. Let's scroll less and live more. 4 00:00:31,356 --> 00:00:34,436 Speaker 1: I'm Arlene Pelicane and this is a happy home. 5 00:00:38,076 --> 00:00:38,276 Speaker 2: Dave. 6 00:00:38,396 --> 00:00:40,316 Speaker 1: I am so happy to have you on the podcast. 7 00:00:40,756 --> 00:00:43,436 Speaker 1: A while ago this year though, I had Rebecca Saint 8 00:00:43,516 --> 00:00:47,035 Speaker 1: James on, and I realized in doing that that you 9 00:00:47,396 --> 00:00:50,036 Speaker 1: are a mutual friend and that of both of us. 10 00:00:50,116 --> 00:00:51,795 Speaker 1: And that's what made me think, like I have to 11 00:00:51,836 --> 00:00:54,236 Speaker 1: reach out to Dave Stowede and have him back on 12 00:00:54,276 --> 00:00:58,356 Speaker 1: the podcast. I want to start here. You told a 13 00:00:58,356 --> 00:01:02,116 Speaker 1: little story of when your children met Rebecca Saint James 14 00:01:02,116 --> 00:01:04,396 Speaker 1: and here she is. She's like this recording star, she's 15 00:01:04,396 --> 00:01:07,076 Speaker 1: like so famous, but she didn't act like that. And 16 00:01:07,116 --> 00:01:09,236 Speaker 1: I want you to weave this into why is humility 17 00:01:09,316 --> 00:01:12,715 Speaker 1: such an attractive thing to teach and show to our kids? 18 00:01:13,276 --> 00:01:16,836 Speaker 3: Yeah, first of all, it's great to be back with you, Arlene. 19 00:01:16,956 --> 00:01:19,956 Speaker 3: You know how I feel about you and your Husban family, 20 00:01:20,075 --> 00:01:22,916 Speaker 3: and so thank you for the difference that you're making. 21 00:01:23,075 --> 00:01:26,636 Speaker 3: And I'm thrilled that you have a podcast that is 22 00:01:26,756 --> 00:01:31,996 Speaker 3: encouraging Christians parents to be exactly who God wants them 23 00:01:31,996 --> 00:01:36,435 Speaker 3: to be. So thank you for diligently doing this now. 24 00:01:36,476 --> 00:01:39,396 Speaker 3: And I love Rebecca. We love Rebecca. She calls us 25 00:01:39,556 --> 00:01:43,676 Speaker 3: Uncle Dave and Aunt Beth, and she is as good 26 00:01:43,715 --> 00:01:46,116 Speaker 3: as they come as well, and comes from a great family. 27 00:01:47,436 --> 00:01:51,636 Speaker 3: The question that you were asking about remind me what 28 00:01:51,676 --> 00:01:52,276 Speaker 3: it was again. 29 00:01:52,356 --> 00:01:56,996 Speaker 1: We're humility. Oh, is humility such a good thing to 30 00:01:57,076 --> 00:01:57,916 Speaker 1: teach our kids? 31 00:01:58,356 --> 00:02:03,596 Speaker 3: Well? Rebecca is great of an example in this area, 32 00:02:03,676 --> 00:02:08,835 Speaker 3: as I know. The juxtaposition of the time she met 33 00:02:08,876 --> 00:02:10,796 Speaker 3: our kids for the first time and they met her 34 00:02:11,756 --> 00:02:14,115 Speaker 3: is that we had had someone else who had been 35 00:02:14,876 --> 00:02:19,156 Speaker 3: at our home and all she did was talking about 36 00:02:19,196 --> 00:02:23,636 Speaker 3: herself and all she and we feel like we got 37 00:02:23,636 --> 00:02:26,555 Speaker 3: great kids and we want people to meet our great kids. 38 00:02:27,156 --> 00:02:31,956 Speaker 3: And she did not ask any questions, had no curiosity 39 00:02:31,996 --> 00:02:35,076 Speaker 3: about her. Instead, it was all what was going on 40 00:02:35,156 --> 00:02:39,076 Speaker 3: in her life for accomplishments, what the project was that 41 00:02:39,196 --> 00:02:44,115 Speaker 3: she was involved in. And so it was rather strange 42 00:02:44,156 --> 00:02:48,556 Speaker 3: when within a two or three week period Rebecca was 43 00:02:48,596 --> 00:02:52,036 Speaker 3: at a meal with us and she took such an 44 00:02:52,076 --> 00:02:55,516 Speaker 3: interest in our kids. It makes me choke up thinking 45 00:02:55,516 --> 00:02:59,716 Speaker 3: about it, because they walked away from that feeling like 46 00:03:00,196 --> 00:03:03,236 Speaker 3: they were so fascinating to her, and they had a 47 00:03:03,276 --> 00:03:06,035 Speaker 3: friend for life in her, and so they all love her. 48 00:03:06,756 --> 00:03:11,916 Speaker 3: But the reason they love her is because she could 49 00:03:11,916 --> 00:03:15,996 Speaker 3: have talked about her accomplishments, but she didn't. Instead, she 50 00:03:16,716 --> 00:03:22,036 Speaker 3: turned the spotlights on them and as a result, they 51 00:03:22,076 --> 00:03:26,396 Speaker 3: would do anything for her. But yeah, humility, teaching that 52 00:03:26,516 --> 00:03:30,675 Speaker 3: trait in our kids and in our grandkids is so important. 53 00:03:31,036 --> 00:03:33,556 Speaker 3: And when we hold up those role models for them 54 00:03:33,675 --> 00:03:35,996 Speaker 3: and say why do you think it is that you 55 00:03:36,116 --> 00:03:38,676 Speaker 3: love them? What is it that makes you want to 56 00:03:38,676 --> 00:03:42,676 Speaker 3: be around them, it always comes back to the fact 57 00:03:42,716 --> 00:03:46,236 Speaker 3: that they're humble. They have a spirit that's not look 58 00:03:46,276 --> 00:03:49,836 Speaker 3: at me, but instead it's putting the spotlight somewhere else. 59 00:03:50,436 --> 00:03:53,116 Speaker 1: I remember as a kid, I was super shy and 60 00:03:53,156 --> 00:03:54,676 Speaker 1: I didn't want to go to kids church, so I 61 00:03:54,676 --> 00:03:57,436 Speaker 1: sat with my mom and dad in big church and finally, 62 00:03:57,516 --> 00:03:59,316 Speaker 1: by the time I was in junior high. My mom 63 00:03:59,396 --> 00:04:02,316 Speaker 1: and dad they're very merciful people, so they probably should 64 00:04:02,316 --> 00:04:04,516 Speaker 1: have pushed me a lot sooner. But in junior high 65 00:04:04,596 --> 00:04:06,116 Speaker 1: they pushed me out and said you have to go 66 00:04:06,116 --> 00:04:08,236 Speaker 1: to youth group. But my mom would say to me, 67 00:04:08,676 --> 00:04:11,156 Speaker 1: because I was so afraid, right to meet the people 68 00:04:11,236 --> 00:04:13,876 Speaker 1: and she said, just look for someone else who's standing 69 00:04:13,916 --> 00:04:17,916 Speaker 1: there by themselves and be their friend and start talking 70 00:04:17,916 --> 00:04:20,436 Speaker 1: to them. And that was the advice that really helped 71 00:04:20,436 --> 00:04:23,876 Speaker 1: me cross that bridge. And I think when we teach 72 00:04:23,996 --> 00:04:28,956 Speaker 1: our kids, whatever question someone asks of you, you just 73 00:04:29,156 --> 00:04:31,636 Speaker 1: ask it back of them, and then all of a 74 00:04:31,676 --> 00:04:35,156 Speaker 1: sudden they're like a really good conversationalist and they're really 75 00:04:35,356 --> 00:04:38,036 Speaker 1: set apart. I remember someone at my church said to me, 76 00:04:38,556 --> 00:04:40,436 Speaker 1: do you have the most amazing children? I was like, 77 00:04:40,516 --> 00:04:42,755 Speaker 1: why do you say that? And she said, because they 78 00:04:42,876 --> 00:04:45,835 Speaker 1: asked me what's going on in your life? And she 79 00:04:46,036 --> 00:04:49,836 Speaker 1: couldn't believe it. So it's really that simple. 80 00:04:50,156 --> 00:04:52,356 Speaker 3: They're not in your own little bubble and their own 81 00:04:52,396 --> 00:04:55,476 Speaker 3: little world, and they can talk to adults. And we 82 00:04:55,596 --> 00:04:57,635 Speaker 3: used to whenever we'd have company come over to the house, 83 00:04:58,315 --> 00:05:01,196 Speaker 3: we'd say the kids, you have to have two questions. 84 00:05:01,276 --> 00:05:03,315 Speaker 3: What are your two questions? Are you ready? You know? 85 00:05:03,396 --> 00:05:07,676 Speaker 3: Have you got them prepared? And I mean, especially the youngest. 86 00:05:07,956 --> 00:05:11,916 Speaker 3: When we would finish the prayer for the meal, boom 87 00:05:12,356 --> 00:05:15,395 Speaker 3: and just start right into their questions, the questions, Hey, 88 00:05:15,516 --> 00:05:18,676 Speaker 3: let's give them a chance to breathe, let's let's ma. 89 00:05:19,716 --> 00:05:23,635 Speaker 3: So it tooks some training. But the concept is put 90 00:05:23,676 --> 00:05:27,876 Speaker 3: the spotlight over there and make certain that you're asking 91 00:05:27,876 --> 00:05:30,436 Speaker 3: them because we want to know after they leave, what 92 00:05:30,596 --> 00:05:31,916 Speaker 3: did you get to know about them? 93 00:05:32,236 --> 00:05:36,396 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's beautiful. It's such a wonderful thing to instill 94 00:05:36,436 --> 00:05:38,755 Speaker 1: in our kids. So if you've never done this before, 95 00:05:38,836 --> 00:05:40,796 Speaker 1: if this is a totally new concept to you, this 96 00:05:40,876 --> 00:05:44,476 Speaker 1: is something so easy that you can start today. Moving forward, 97 00:05:44,956 --> 00:05:47,876 Speaker 1: I want to talk about your son, Sam, and take 98 00:05:47,956 --> 00:05:50,395 Speaker 1: us back to when you had a small group in 99 00:05:50,436 --> 00:05:55,796 Speaker 1: your home. You're pastoring, You're the godly man, and everyone 100 00:05:55,836 --> 00:05:59,236 Speaker 1: looks up to you, and you had this very good 101 00:06:00,276 --> 00:06:02,556 Speaker 1: teaching moment I think for all of us. Take us there. 102 00:06:02,596 --> 00:06:03,155 Speaker 1: What happened? 103 00:06:04,476 --> 00:06:06,956 Speaker 3: I think the one you're referring to At the time, 104 00:06:06,956 --> 00:06:10,116 Speaker 3: we had a Bible study at our house of people 105 00:06:10,116 --> 00:06:14,036 Speaker 3: that were in their twenties, and we had about one 106 00:06:14,156 --> 00:06:18,036 Speaker 3: third of them were non Christians, one third of them 107 00:06:18,116 --> 00:06:21,236 Speaker 3: were baby Christians, and one third of them were pretty 108 00:06:21,236 --> 00:06:23,636 Speaker 3: committed and so it was it was one of my 109 00:06:23,716 --> 00:06:26,836 Speaker 3: favorite mixes that we've ever had. But they were on 110 00:06:26,916 --> 00:06:30,315 Speaker 3: their twenties and Sam was probably at the time, around 111 00:06:30,556 --> 00:06:34,676 Speaker 3: twelve or thirteen years old, I don't remember, And boy, 112 00:06:34,516 --> 00:06:38,315 Speaker 3: he looked up to them, Arlene. There were some athletes 113 00:06:38,356 --> 00:06:40,996 Speaker 3: in the group, there were some people that were just 114 00:06:41,236 --> 00:06:45,156 Speaker 3: had great personality. He loved that group and so he 115 00:06:45,156 --> 00:06:47,036 Speaker 3: would be right in the mix with it. He had 116 00:06:47,116 --> 00:06:50,475 Speaker 3: responsibilities of helping them park their cars in the right place. 117 00:06:50,596 --> 00:06:54,116 Speaker 3: Every first time visitor, he was showing them around, giving 118 00:06:54,116 --> 00:06:56,716 Speaker 3: them a tour. He would connect them and introduce them 119 00:06:56,755 --> 00:07:01,315 Speaker 3: to people. Those were his jobs. But one night before 120 00:07:01,356 --> 00:07:07,916 Speaker 3: we started, I said something about Sam in front of 121 00:07:08,236 --> 00:07:11,116 Speaker 3: some of these guys that he loved, and I made 122 00:07:11,156 --> 00:07:15,356 Speaker 3: a joke about a girl that he liked, and I 123 00:07:15,436 --> 00:07:18,476 Speaker 3: forgot I only even remember what it was. He probably 124 00:07:18,516 --> 00:07:24,916 Speaker 3: does when but they all last and see, I'm going 125 00:07:24,996 --> 00:07:29,596 Speaker 3: to be crying through this whole podcast with you. They 126 00:07:29,636 --> 00:07:32,475 Speaker 3: all laughed and he kind of chuckled, but I noticed 127 00:07:32,516 --> 00:07:36,276 Speaker 3: he kind of pulled himself away and kind of excused 128 00:07:36,356 --> 00:07:39,236 Speaker 3: himself quickly. And then I didn't see him, which was 129 00:07:39,436 --> 00:07:45,836 Speaker 3: very unlike our typical Wednesday nights. And I started the 130 00:07:45,916 --> 00:07:50,476 Speaker 3: lesson and I got about five minutes into it and 131 00:07:50,516 --> 00:07:52,076 Speaker 3: I said, you know what, I said, I got to 132 00:07:52,076 --> 00:07:55,516 Speaker 3: take care of something. So I went up his room. 133 00:07:55,636 --> 00:08:01,316 Speaker 3: His door was shut, and I knocked and thank he 134 00:08:01,396 --> 00:08:08,076 Speaker 3: said something I go away, you know then, and his 135 00:08:08,156 --> 00:08:11,276 Speaker 3: head was buried under his pillow. He was probably eleven 136 00:08:11,476 --> 00:08:15,756 Speaker 3: at the time. And I said, hey, I owe you 137 00:08:15,756 --> 00:08:19,236 Speaker 3: an apology, and he said, they all laughed at me 138 00:08:19,996 --> 00:08:24,436 Speaker 3: because of what you said. And I said, I'm sorry. 139 00:08:24,556 --> 00:08:28,316 Speaker 3: I said, you know what, I should never have gotten 140 00:08:28,316 --> 00:08:33,316 Speaker 3: the laugh at your expense. And yeah, you know, he's 141 00:08:33,676 --> 00:08:36,996 Speaker 3: going into middle school at the time, and so they're 142 00:08:37,156 --> 00:08:42,236 Speaker 3: very sensitive in those settings. And I probably didn't didn't 143 00:08:42,276 --> 00:08:48,116 Speaker 3: sense that or read that real well. But I went 144 00:08:48,156 --> 00:08:50,916 Speaker 3: back downstairs after I said, you forgive me, I forgive you. 145 00:08:51,596 --> 00:08:53,756 Speaker 3: And you know those red eyes you can tell have 146 00:08:53,836 --> 00:08:57,196 Speaker 3: been crying, and so now I'm crying. So I go 147 00:08:57,276 --> 00:09:01,116 Speaker 3: downstairs and resume the lesson. And then before I start 148 00:09:01,156 --> 00:09:03,196 Speaker 3: the lesson, I say, hey, I need to tell you 149 00:09:03,196 --> 00:09:08,956 Speaker 3: guys what just happened. And I an apology to my son, 150 00:09:09,236 --> 00:09:13,676 Speaker 3: and I apologize to those guys that heard me say 151 00:09:13,996 --> 00:09:18,276 Speaker 3: say that joke making fun of my son and his 152 00:09:18,716 --> 00:09:22,876 Speaker 3: girl that he likes, you know. But it ended up 153 00:09:22,916 --> 00:09:28,076 Speaker 3: being one of those things, Arlene, that it really ministered 154 00:09:28,116 --> 00:09:31,956 Speaker 3: to the Bible study group. And I have had several 155 00:09:32,036 --> 00:09:33,796 Speaker 3: of them come back to me and say I'll never 156 00:09:33,836 --> 00:09:39,356 Speaker 3: forget the night when you apologize to your son and 157 00:09:39,396 --> 00:09:42,076 Speaker 3: you came back. You left Bible study to do that, 158 00:09:42,196 --> 00:09:44,796 Speaker 3: in the middle of your lesson, you came back. And 159 00:09:45,556 --> 00:09:49,396 Speaker 3: you know, if we don't model for our kids what 160 00:09:49,436 --> 00:09:53,556 Speaker 3: it's like to confess our sins and to ask for forgiveness, 161 00:09:53,876 --> 00:09:57,196 Speaker 3: if we don't model that for them, then they won't 162 00:09:57,236 --> 00:10:00,796 Speaker 3: have that relationship with their God, who they need to 163 00:10:00,876 --> 00:10:04,836 Speaker 3: apologize to and confess things to and ask for forgiveness. 164 00:10:04,876 --> 00:10:09,556 Speaker 3: And so in some way it's an opportunity for us 165 00:10:09,596 --> 00:10:12,356 Speaker 3: to model that relationship that we want them to have 166 00:10:12,396 --> 00:10:13,356 Speaker 3: with their heavenly Father. 167 00:10:14,596 --> 00:10:16,956 Speaker 1: And I think all of us could say we would 168 00:10:16,956 --> 00:10:19,316 Speaker 1: have so easily done the same thing as you make 169 00:10:19,396 --> 00:10:21,556 Speaker 1: some kind of comment and not think a thing of 170 00:10:21,636 --> 00:10:24,356 Speaker 1: it right. And so part of it is being careful 171 00:10:24,516 --> 00:10:27,396 Speaker 1: in what we say apologizing because we're human, We're going 172 00:10:27,476 --> 00:10:30,316 Speaker 1: to say the wrong things. And you did it quickly. 173 00:10:30,676 --> 00:10:33,516 Speaker 1: You didn't just let that sit for hours and hours 174 00:10:33,516 --> 00:10:36,316 Speaker 1: and days and days. Right when you found out right 175 00:10:36,356 --> 00:10:38,916 Speaker 1: that something is wrong, you acted, And I think that's 176 00:10:38,956 --> 00:10:41,116 Speaker 1: such a good example. Talk to that. You know you've 177 00:10:41,116 --> 00:10:43,996 Speaker 1: got the new podcast Pastor to Pastor with focus on 178 00:10:44,036 --> 00:10:47,756 Speaker 1: the family. What talk to that pastor's family that's just 179 00:10:47,796 --> 00:10:50,316 Speaker 1: struggling because it's like, the kids have to be perfect. 180 00:10:50,396 --> 00:10:52,316 Speaker 1: I mean, you've gone through this with your three kids. 181 00:10:52,396 --> 00:10:54,436 Speaker 1: The kids have to be perfect. They're the parent. The 182 00:10:54,436 --> 00:10:59,236 Speaker 1: pastor said, how do you give these kids an authentic relationship, 183 00:10:59,276 --> 00:11:02,596 Speaker 1: authentic faith without feeling like this fishbowl thing? 184 00:11:03,596 --> 00:11:05,516 Speaker 3: Sure, and the fish bull thing is hard to get 185 00:11:05,556 --> 00:11:09,716 Speaker 3: away from because whether it's a small country church, it 186 00:11:09,756 --> 00:11:12,676 Speaker 3: really doesn't matter which size churches. It is a fish 187 00:11:12,716 --> 00:11:16,076 Speaker 3: ball and everyone kind of knows that's the pastor's kids. 188 00:11:16,156 --> 00:11:19,756 Speaker 3: And that is a way that they didn't asked to carry, 189 00:11:19,836 --> 00:11:22,076 Speaker 3: but it's one that they have to bear. And so 190 00:11:22,836 --> 00:11:25,756 Speaker 3: I would we would always try our best to find 191 00:11:25,876 --> 00:11:29,996 Speaker 3: joy in ministry, and we wanted them to not resent 192 00:11:30,036 --> 00:11:32,876 Speaker 3: the church, and we wanted them to make certain that 193 00:11:33,316 --> 00:11:35,316 Speaker 3: they found a place that they could serve and that 194 00:11:35,356 --> 00:11:38,076 Speaker 3: they could be involved. And we also wanted them to 195 00:11:38,116 --> 00:11:41,836 Speaker 3: know that that really ministry and serving the Lord is fun. 196 00:11:43,276 --> 00:11:47,356 Speaker 3: So I mean I actually tried to make my office 197 00:11:47,836 --> 00:11:51,596 Speaker 3: for my kids. And so when I had a little office, 198 00:11:51,796 --> 00:11:53,996 Speaker 3: I just had big boxes that had each of the 199 00:11:54,036 --> 00:11:56,116 Speaker 3: kid's names on it. And so whenever they would come 200 00:11:56,156 --> 00:11:58,276 Speaker 3: to my office and say, you might want to check 201 00:11:58,316 --> 00:12:00,876 Speaker 3: your box, you know, as we did the car. Oh Man, 202 00:12:00,916 --> 00:12:03,436 Speaker 3: they didn't know what. So my secretary might have put 203 00:12:03,476 --> 00:12:06,156 Speaker 3: a pack of gum in there. Somebody else might, you know. 204 00:12:06,156 --> 00:12:08,276 Speaker 3: I'd sell a staff person, hey, would you write a 205 00:12:08,276 --> 00:12:11,116 Speaker 3: note to my kids? You know, put something in there 206 00:12:11,196 --> 00:12:13,876 Speaker 3: so there'd be something that they could look forward to. 207 00:12:14,916 --> 00:12:17,996 Speaker 3: And it made them say, oh, I would have fun 208 00:12:18,036 --> 00:12:20,916 Speaker 3: while I'm there. The other thing is they have to 209 00:12:20,916 --> 00:12:24,516 Speaker 3: be there so much that when I became lead pastor, 210 00:12:24,836 --> 00:12:28,276 Speaker 3: I kind of had it designed so that my kids 211 00:12:28,276 --> 00:12:30,196 Speaker 3: would want to spend time. So I spent a lot 212 00:12:30,196 --> 00:12:34,116 Speaker 3: of Saturdays over at church, and so I designed it 213 00:12:34,196 --> 00:12:36,596 Speaker 3: so that my son could be in a room that 214 00:12:36,716 --> 00:12:38,756 Speaker 3: was right next to my office where he could watch 215 00:12:39,196 --> 00:12:42,676 Speaker 3: sports on TV. And he'd come and he'd spend all 216 00:12:42,756 --> 00:12:45,516 Speaker 3: day Saturday. He'd be right in the middle of worship 217 00:12:45,556 --> 00:12:48,796 Speaker 3: and all those things and meeting people and hanging out 218 00:12:48,796 --> 00:12:51,676 Speaker 3: with folks. But I wanted it to be a place 219 00:12:51,676 --> 00:12:55,436 Speaker 3: that they can feel comfortable. As far as the fishbowl piece, 220 00:12:56,276 --> 00:12:59,996 Speaker 3: one thing that I have learned is that whether we 221 00:13:00,116 --> 00:13:02,956 Speaker 3: like it or not, our kids get that identity of 222 00:13:02,996 --> 00:13:08,036 Speaker 3: being labeled as a PK. And we have to understand 223 00:13:08,076 --> 00:13:10,876 Speaker 3: that there will come a time when they have to 224 00:13:10,916 --> 00:13:14,436 Speaker 3: embrace that faith for themselves, and they can't just go 225 00:13:14,556 --> 00:13:18,396 Speaker 3: off of their parents' faith. And so I try to 226 00:13:18,436 --> 00:13:21,596 Speaker 3: always encourage them and the strengths that they have, try 227 00:13:21,636 --> 00:13:23,436 Speaker 3: to encourage them that God could use them in a 228 00:13:23,516 --> 00:13:27,276 Speaker 3: variety of different ways, and just to make certain that 229 00:13:27,276 --> 00:13:30,876 Speaker 3: they're using their gifts for Him. But don't grow weary, 230 00:13:31,116 --> 00:13:34,716 Speaker 3: don't grow tired and point out they're really cool things, 231 00:13:35,316 --> 00:13:37,476 Speaker 3: because they'll never point those things out to you. So, 232 00:13:37,676 --> 00:13:40,596 Speaker 3: I mean, my kids would always say, Arlene, you know, ah, man, 233 00:13:40,676 --> 00:13:43,156 Speaker 3: it's because we're the preacher's kid. You know, that's why 234 00:13:43,236 --> 00:13:45,876 Speaker 3: we can't go to that movie. And we say, oh no, no, 235 00:13:45,956 --> 00:13:49,156 Speaker 3: it's because you. It's because you're a Christian. It's because 236 00:13:49,396 --> 00:13:52,236 Speaker 3: you're in a Christian home. You're a christ It has 237 00:13:52,316 --> 00:13:56,676 Speaker 3: nothing to do with being the pastor's kid and helping 238 00:13:56,716 --> 00:14:00,116 Speaker 3: them to understand that distinction. But then pointing out the 239 00:14:00,196 --> 00:14:03,596 Speaker 3: things that you know, when somebody gives you great seats 240 00:14:03,636 --> 00:14:08,436 Speaker 3: to a college basketball game together, I would make certain 241 00:14:08,556 --> 00:14:11,796 Speaker 3: to put my arm around them and say, pretty tough 242 00:14:11,836 --> 00:14:15,076 Speaker 3: being a pastor's kid, didn't you know, and just try 243 00:14:15,116 --> 00:14:18,876 Speaker 3: to continually remind them when they would get an opportunity 244 00:14:19,076 --> 00:14:22,996 Speaker 3: need to do something that maybe other kids wouldn't. I 245 00:14:23,036 --> 00:14:25,436 Speaker 3: want to point out, Okay, that's that's because you're a 246 00:14:25,436 --> 00:14:26,116 Speaker 3: ministry kid. 247 00:14:26,236 --> 00:14:28,796 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's why you're having dinner with Rebecca Saint James. 248 00:14:28,796 --> 00:14:32,236 Speaker 1: Like that's kind of a cool deal. Yes, yes, I 249 00:14:32,276 --> 00:14:34,956 Speaker 1: love the idea of go ahead. I love the idea 250 00:14:34,956 --> 00:14:37,716 Speaker 1: of the boxes in your office because a stay at 251 00:14:37,756 --> 00:14:41,436 Speaker 1: home person that's working from home, they could, like I 252 00:14:41,516 --> 00:14:43,396 Speaker 1: could totally wow. I should have known this when I 253 00:14:43,436 --> 00:14:45,636 Speaker 1: was an author and my kids were tiny, I could 254 00:14:45,636 --> 00:14:48,356 Speaker 1: have had boxes with their things and little things. I 255 00:14:48,396 --> 00:14:48,756 Speaker 1: loved it. 256 00:14:48,756 --> 00:14:51,556 Speaker 3: It was a little it was the tiniest gifts in there. 257 00:14:51,756 --> 00:14:54,916 Speaker 3: I mean, it wasn't anything earth shattering, you know. And 258 00:14:55,076 --> 00:14:59,036 Speaker 3: my five dollar McDonald's gift card you know, that I 259 00:14:59,076 --> 00:15:01,956 Speaker 3: put in there, and then they look forward to, Okay, 260 00:15:01,956 --> 00:15:04,796 Speaker 3: when can we go to the going or whatever it 261 00:15:04,916 --> 00:15:05,276 Speaker 3: might be. 262 00:15:05,636 --> 00:15:08,436 Speaker 1: I love it. It's the intention, it's the thought. When 263 00:15:08,476 --> 00:15:12,396 Speaker 1: your church was going through a building fund, your son 264 00:15:12,556 --> 00:15:17,156 Speaker 1: Sam made quite an a dacious uh, you know, like 265 00:15:17,156 --> 00:15:19,476 Speaker 1: a promise of what he wanted to give. Tell us that. 266 00:15:20,396 --> 00:15:25,836 Speaker 3: The pledge that he made, yes, you know, that's that's 267 00:15:25,876 --> 00:15:30,516 Speaker 3: all of all of our kids are generous, and they 268 00:15:31,076 --> 00:15:35,716 Speaker 3: were were very proud and pleased that that has transferred 269 00:15:35,756 --> 00:15:40,876 Speaker 3: over into adulthood with them as well. But Sam, he 270 00:15:40,916 --> 00:15:46,236 Speaker 3: would you know that particular story was that he made 271 00:15:46,276 --> 00:15:49,276 Speaker 3: a pledge to a campaign at church where we were 272 00:15:49,276 --> 00:15:52,756 Speaker 3: building a youth building and we wanted everybody in our 273 00:15:52,756 --> 00:15:55,116 Speaker 3: family to really wrestle with it and pray about it. 274 00:15:55,156 --> 00:15:58,276 Speaker 3: And he came to me and he said, this is 275 00:15:58,756 --> 00:16:02,156 Speaker 3: you know, this is eighteen years ago. He said, I 276 00:16:04,036 --> 00:16:06,636 Speaker 3: made my decision. Okay, what is it. I'm going to 277 00:16:07,036 --> 00:16:09,716 Speaker 3: give two hundred dollars. You're going to pledge two hundred dollars, 278 00:16:10,116 --> 00:16:12,996 Speaker 3: I said, buddy, it was you know, his allowance was 279 00:16:13,036 --> 00:16:16,036 Speaker 3: five bucks at the time, and I don't even remember 280 00:16:16,076 --> 00:16:19,276 Speaker 3: how often he got it, but you know it was 281 00:16:20,116 --> 00:16:23,756 Speaker 3: going to take up all of his allowance and everything 282 00:16:23,796 --> 00:16:26,716 Speaker 3: that he got was going to go to that. I said, Jude, 283 00:16:26,756 --> 00:16:29,476 Speaker 3: I just want to make certain you understand this. I said, 284 00:16:29,836 --> 00:16:34,156 Speaker 3: if you commit two hundred dollars, that is all of 285 00:16:34,196 --> 00:16:38,956 Speaker 3: your allowance money. That means no baseball cards, means nothing 286 00:16:38,996 --> 00:16:42,676 Speaker 3: that you can buy that you want for this. I 287 00:16:42,716 --> 00:16:43,876 Speaker 3: forgot was eighteen months. 288 00:16:43,916 --> 00:16:45,156 Speaker 1: I think for a long time. 289 00:16:45,636 --> 00:16:48,676 Speaker 3: Yeah, and for a kid, you know, they don't have 290 00:16:48,716 --> 00:16:52,796 Speaker 3: a concept of time. So I'm trying to explain this 291 00:16:52,956 --> 00:16:56,956 Speaker 3: to him, and he looks back and says, yeah, yeah, 292 00:16:57,436 --> 00:17:01,076 Speaker 3: I'm okay, I'm good with it. And so then Beth 293 00:17:01,116 --> 00:17:04,716 Speaker 3: and I are like, okay, you know, should we come 294 00:17:04,796 --> 00:17:06,515 Speaker 3: up with them, give him some money back toward it? 295 00:17:06,556 --> 00:17:10,156 Speaker 3: Should we do you know something that lessons the you know, 296 00:17:10,556 --> 00:17:16,555 Speaker 3: the lesson for him, how you spell the lesson to 297 00:17:16,596 --> 00:17:20,876 Speaker 3: somebody else? So, Sharon, we didn't say. We just went 298 00:17:20,955 --> 00:17:25,116 Speaker 3: with it. And every week he would put his allowance money, 299 00:17:25,196 --> 00:17:28,395 Speaker 3: all of his allowance money in at offering time. And 300 00:17:28,955 --> 00:17:32,636 Speaker 3: about two months later, I was speaking at a men's 301 00:17:32,676 --> 00:17:37,836 Speaker 3: retreat in Dallas, Texas. And this makes it even funnier. 302 00:17:38,076 --> 00:17:42,436 Speaker 3: It was an a capella church, a non instrumental church. Okay, 303 00:17:42,515 --> 00:17:44,436 Speaker 3: so they didn't use p ando, they didn't use organ, 304 00:17:44,475 --> 00:17:47,475 Speaker 3: they use no instrumentation. I was speaking for a men's retreat. 305 00:17:48,196 --> 00:17:50,996 Speaker 3: They said, hey, your son, can he come with Yeah, 306 00:17:50,995 --> 00:17:53,475 Speaker 3: he's going to come with me. Yeah, great, Could he 307 00:17:53,796 --> 00:17:56,955 Speaker 3: give his testimony for a few minutes? Or I said, well, 308 00:17:57,316 --> 00:18:01,156 Speaker 3: he's like ten years old. You know it's not the sex, 309 00:18:01,235 --> 00:18:06,035 Speaker 3: drugs and rock and roll testimony. So I said, you know, 310 00:18:06,156 --> 00:18:09,676 Speaker 3: we'll get him to do something. Yeah. So he writes 311 00:18:09,715 --> 00:18:12,995 Speaker 3: a little testimony that's all of about a paragraph and 312 00:18:13,035 --> 00:18:16,235 Speaker 3: a half, and then he says, I'd like to do 313 00:18:16,275 --> 00:18:19,636 Speaker 3: a wrap for you if I can. And he said, 314 00:18:19,876 --> 00:18:23,636 Speaker 3: I've written a rap on David and Goliath and it 315 00:18:23,715 --> 00:18:25,956 Speaker 3: tells the story of David and Glass. So here's eight 316 00:18:25,995 --> 00:18:31,156 Speaker 3: hundred men. He does this rap, the place goes crazy, 317 00:18:31,156 --> 00:18:33,595 Speaker 3: they give him a standing ovation, Oh my gods. And 318 00:18:34,316 --> 00:18:37,796 Speaker 3: the preacher comes to me on that Saturday night and says, hey, 319 00:18:37,836 --> 00:18:39,995 Speaker 3: do you think Sam could do that in our assembly 320 00:18:40,076 --> 00:18:43,955 Speaker 3: tomorrow both hours. I said, well, you know, I don't. 321 00:18:44,676 --> 00:18:48,516 Speaker 3: I know you all don't like instrumentation. Are you sure 322 00:18:48,515 --> 00:18:52,036 Speaker 3: you're going to be okay with a rap? He said, yeah, 323 00:18:52,076 --> 00:18:55,636 Speaker 3: it'll be fine. So he did the wrap to open 324 00:18:55,715 --> 00:18:59,636 Speaker 3: the service this church of five thousand people. He did 325 00:18:59,636 --> 00:19:03,036 Speaker 3: both services and didn't take a whole lot of it. 326 00:19:03,116 --> 00:19:06,995 Speaker 3: A week later, he got a check for two hundred 327 00:19:07,035 --> 00:19:12,276 Speaker 3: dollars in the mail, the exact amount that he had pledged. 328 00:19:12,556 --> 00:19:15,316 Speaker 3: And I never told the preacher about what had happened, 329 00:19:15,556 --> 00:19:20,955 Speaker 3: what his commitment was it was just ordain God. Incident 330 00:19:21,235 --> 00:19:25,315 Speaker 3: of God saying to a ten year old kid, right, 331 00:19:26,035 --> 00:19:30,436 Speaker 3: I see you, you can't help give me. And he 332 00:19:31,116 --> 00:19:32,636 Speaker 3: learned that at an early age. 333 00:19:32,955 --> 00:19:38,596 Speaker 1: That's incredible and I'm sure that just cemented in him 334 00:19:39,035 --> 00:19:43,235 Speaker 1: like you can't outgive God like that is incredible to 335 00:19:43,596 --> 00:19:45,436 Speaker 1: the penny, God does this. 336 00:19:45,796 --> 00:19:51,955 Speaker 3: God does it's letter, you know, written to him from 337 00:19:51,995 --> 00:19:54,275 Speaker 3: the pastor so pretty cool. 338 00:19:54,636 --> 00:19:57,515 Speaker 1: You are standing on the other side with adult kids. 339 00:19:58,035 --> 00:20:00,636 Speaker 1: Some people who are listening, they got their kids in diapers, 340 00:20:00,676 --> 00:20:04,676 Speaker 1: they're in preschool, they're battling over video games. They're depressed 341 00:20:04,715 --> 00:20:07,235 Speaker 1: and anxious, both the kids the parents are just going 342 00:20:07,275 --> 00:20:10,475 Speaker 1: through it. But you're on this other side enjoying life 343 00:20:10,556 --> 00:20:13,436 Speaker 1: with your adult kids. Can you give us that hope 344 00:20:14,076 --> 00:20:16,275 Speaker 1: to like what we're doing is not in vain? 345 00:20:16,916 --> 00:20:20,315 Speaker 3: Yes? Yes, And thank you for seeing that up so 346 00:20:20,436 --> 00:20:24,955 Speaker 3: well because you said it. It is worth it. It 347 00:20:25,035 --> 00:20:28,596 Speaker 3: is worth the tough season that you're in the diapers. 348 00:20:28,916 --> 00:20:31,356 Speaker 3: You will be out of diapers soon. Hang in there, 349 00:20:31,715 --> 00:20:34,955 Speaker 3: and then each stage, each phase has its challenges, but 350 00:20:35,035 --> 00:20:37,996 Speaker 3: it also has its fulfillment and its rewards. I mean, 351 00:20:38,035 --> 00:20:39,955 Speaker 3: we look at it now and there's times when we 352 00:20:40,035 --> 00:20:41,835 Speaker 3: wish we could go back to some of those years 353 00:20:41,876 --> 00:20:46,076 Speaker 3: because you know how fast they go. You've experienced that, 354 00:20:46,955 --> 00:20:50,396 Speaker 3: So enjoy every season, is what I tell people. And 355 00:20:50,636 --> 00:20:54,635 Speaker 3: you know, if you go through that stage of discipline, 356 00:20:54,676 --> 00:20:57,156 Speaker 3: and you go through the stage of training, and you 357 00:20:57,196 --> 00:21:02,916 Speaker 3: go through the stage of coaching, eventually eighteen twenty twenty one, 358 00:21:03,475 --> 00:21:06,916 Speaker 3: you enter into this friendship stage if you've gone through 359 00:21:06,955 --> 00:21:12,395 Speaker 3: the other stages, and it is incredibly fulfilling, and it 360 00:21:12,515 --> 00:21:17,115 Speaker 3: is so so much fun to see the principles that 361 00:21:17,156 --> 00:21:21,275 Speaker 3: you have poured into your kids now being passed down 362 00:21:21,515 --> 00:21:23,676 Speaker 3: by them to their children. 363 00:21:23,755 --> 00:21:24,075 Speaker 1: Wow. 364 00:21:24,275 --> 00:21:30,676 Speaker 3: And they the grandkids. You know, someone said grandkids and 365 00:21:30,995 --> 00:21:33,755 Speaker 3: grandparents get along so well because they both share a 366 00:21:33,796 --> 00:21:37,396 Speaker 3: common enemy. I don't know if there's streets to that 367 00:21:37,556 --> 00:21:40,796 Speaker 3: or not. We love every minute of it. 368 00:21:40,955 --> 00:21:44,436 Speaker 1: Yes. In your book, How to Raise Selfless Kids in 369 00:21:44,475 --> 00:21:48,276 Speaker 1: a self centered World, you have this quote from Tertullian, 370 00:21:48,475 --> 00:21:51,715 Speaker 1: who is a second century theologian, and it says this, 371 00:21:51,796 --> 00:21:55,755 Speaker 1: and it's about disrespect. Because I think what you're saying is, 372 00:21:55,916 --> 00:21:58,995 Speaker 1: if you go through those stages and you are raising 373 00:21:59,076 --> 00:22:02,835 Speaker 1: respectful children, you're going to get respectful adults that you 374 00:22:02,876 --> 00:22:05,636 Speaker 1: really like being friends with and the quote, is he 375 00:22:05,676 --> 00:22:09,475 Speaker 1: who lives to benefit himself? Oh, I'm sorry, he who 376 00:22:09,515 --> 00:22:12,116 Speaker 1: lives to Yeah, that's right. He who lives to benefit 377 00:22:12,235 --> 00:22:15,835 Speaker 1: himself confers on the world a benefit when he dies. 378 00:22:17,196 --> 00:22:20,275 Speaker 1: In other words, if you just live to benefit yourself, 379 00:22:20,275 --> 00:22:23,116 Speaker 1: and this was second century, kind of sounds like today 380 00:22:23,396 --> 00:22:26,235 Speaker 1: if we are raising kids who are just living for themselves, 381 00:22:26,755 --> 00:22:29,955 Speaker 1: just living for pleasure, just living for amusement, you know, 382 00:22:29,995 --> 00:22:32,556 Speaker 1: looking for the easy way out. You know, that's they're 383 00:22:32,596 --> 00:22:34,875 Speaker 1: not going to be giving a whole lot to the 384 00:22:34,916 --> 00:22:37,636 Speaker 1: world that God created them to be in. Talk to 385 00:22:37,715 --> 00:22:40,596 Speaker 1: us with just that word of warning of not squandering 386 00:22:41,076 --> 00:22:43,436 Speaker 1: this time or not allowing disrespect in the home. 387 00:22:43,995 --> 00:22:47,676 Speaker 3: Yeah, there's two pieces there. There's the disrespect piece, and 388 00:22:47,715 --> 00:22:53,035 Speaker 3: then there's also the the honoring others above yourself, And 389 00:22:53,796 --> 00:22:56,956 Speaker 3: they go hand in hand. And if you are honoring 390 00:22:56,995 --> 00:23:01,235 Speaker 3: others above yourself, then the disrespect kind of phage, it 391 00:23:01,356 --> 00:23:06,396 Speaker 3: kind of evaporates. If you're constantly striving to teach your kids. Oh, 392 00:23:06,556 --> 00:23:09,555 Speaker 3: you know what, we treat that person with respect. We 393 00:23:09,596 --> 00:23:13,275 Speaker 3: don't run through the restaurant because you see that older 394 00:23:13,275 --> 00:23:16,315 Speaker 3: person over there. We want to respect that person. And 395 00:23:16,356 --> 00:23:19,995 Speaker 3: they come around carrying that tray, let's see you and 396 00:23:20,715 --> 00:23:23,515 Speaker 3: you're going to knock them over and break their hip, 397 00:23:23,715 --> 00:23:26,676 Speaker 3: and that's not a good thing. So always talking about 398 00:23:26,676 --> 00:23:30,116 Speaker 3: the respect piece of you know, the New Testament principle 399 00:23:30,475 --> 00:23:36,876 Speaker 3: of honoring others above yourself. And that's tough in our culture. 400 00:23:37,876 --> 00:23:41,876 Speaker 3: You know. I think it was in twenty thirteen there 401 00:23:41,916 --> 00:23:44,796 Speaker 3: was a new word that was introduced into the Dictionary. 402 00:23:45,436 --> 00:23:47,756 Speaker 3: It had reached the point where all of a sudden 403 00:23:47,955 --> 00:23:51,116 Speaker 3: it it could become a part of our language. And 404 00:23:51,235 --> 00:23:52,196 Speaker 3: you know what the word was. 405 00:23:52,876 --> 00:23:55,796 Speaker 1: I'm going to get selfie, but I'm not sure exactly right. 406 00:23:56,676 --> 00:24:00,156 Speaker 3: It's selfie. Helfie appeared in the Dictionary for the first 407 00:24:00,156 --> 00:24:02,436 Speaker 3: time in twenty thirteen. I don't know why we call 408 00:24:02,475 --> 00:24:04,876 Speaker 3: it that. I guess it's because narcissist is too tough 409 00:24:04,916 --> 00:24:05,715 Speaker 3: to suspend. 410 00:24:06,275 --> 00:24:07,836 Speaker 1: Narcissisty. It doesn't self. 411 00:24:07,916 --> 00:24:14,715 Speaker 2: It's cute, yes, but that's what our culture says is 412 00:24:14,836 --> 00:24:20,036 Speaker 2: everything comes back to you, and it all around. 413 00:24:19,755 --> 00:24:23,596 Speaker 3: You, and you've all been everybody your listeners, you've been 414 00:24:23,636 --> 00:24:26,676 Speaker 3: at a table at a restaurant and you've looked over 415 00:24:26,916 --> 00:24:30,396 Speaker 3: and you've seen the eighteen year old girl that takes 416 00:24:30,436 --> 00:24:35,356 Speaker 3: seventeen pictures of her food and herself trying different poses 417 00:24:35,876 --> 00:24:40,715 Speaker 3: and it's all to find that one picture that makes 418 00:24:40,715 --> 00:24:43,876 Speaker 3: her look just just perfect. So the more we can 419 00:24:43,995 --> 00:24:48,596 Speaker 3: teach our kids to take the camera, the phone off 420 00:24:48,636 --> 00:24:52,996 Speaker 3: of yourself and put the focus on others, we're honoring 421 00:24:53,116 --> 00:24:55,196 Speaker 3: Christ when we do that. You know, Jesus said in 422 00:24:55,316 --> 00:24:57,636 Speaker 3: Mark ten forty five. You know, the son of men 423 00:24:57,676 --> 00:25:00,396 Speaker 3: did not come to be served, but to serve and 424 00:25:00,436 --> 00:25:02,436 Speaker 3: to give his life as a ransom for many. So 425 00:25:03,316 --> 00:25:06,595 Speaker 3: if we can try to approach with our kids, Okay, 426 00:25:06,636 --> 00:25:09,636 Speaker 3: what are ways that you could serve someone today? Or 427 00:25:09,676 --> 00:25:13,755 Speaker 3: as they you're dropping off for school, how can you 428 00:25:13,796 --> 00:25:18,156 Speaker 3: shine your light today? How can you be an encourager 429 00:25:18,156 --> 00:25:20,395 Speaker 3: to someone? And my wife when she would pick up 430 00:25:20,396 --> 00:25:23,595 Speaker 3: the kids at the end of school, they get in 431 00:25:23,596 --> 00:25:25,075 Speaker 3: the car and she say, okay, I want to hear 432 00:25:25,196 --> 00:25:29,035 Speaker 3: how did you encourage somebody today? How did you encourage someone? 433 00:25:29,035 --> 00:25:31,916 Speaker 3: How did you shine your light? And so now if 434 00:25:31,955 --> 00:25:35,555 Speaker 3: they're younger kids, it becomes a game, you know, and 435 00:25:36,636 --> 00:25:39,436 Speaker 3: you've instilled that in them, and it's something that will 436 00:25:39,475 --> 00:25:42,436 Speaker 3: bear fruit for years to come. So do not grow 437 00:25:42,475 --> 00:25:43,715 Speaker 3: weary in doing good. 438 00:25:44,275 --> 00:25:46,396 Speaker 1: And it's so good you do it in a fun 439 00:25:46,436 --> 00:25:49,156 Speaker 1: way like your family is fun. So it's fun. It's 440 00:25:49,196 --> 00:25:52,156 Speaker 1: not just like, well, how do you shine your light? Well, 441 00:25:52,156 --> 00:25:54,515 Speaker 1: you better go back out there and shine it better tomorrow. Right, 442 00:25:54,515 --> 00:25:58,755 Speaker 1: It's not that kind of feeling. Right, So it's got 443 00:25:58,796 --> 00:25:59,476 Speaker 1: to go together. 444 00:25:59,836 --> 00:26:03,755 Speaker 3: And if you've taught your child to serve, then they 445 00:26:04,316 --> 00:26:06,636 Speaker 3: will notice that in other people or they'll say, hey, 446 00:26:06,636 --> 00:26:09,755 Speaker 3: guess what did you know that somebody else is trying 447 00:26:09,796 --> 00:26:11,515 Speaker 3: to shine their light or somebody else is trying to 448 00:26:11,556 --> 00:26:14,555 Speaker 3: encourage people too, because they encourage me, and it starts 449 00:26:14,636 --> 00:26:17,156 Speaker 3: to stand out to them because you've placed a high 450 00:26:17,235 --> 00:26:17,916 Speaker 3: value on it. 451 00:26:18,275 --> 00:26:20,636 Speaker 1: That's a really lovely way to help our children look 452 00:26:20,636 --> 00:26:23,636 Speaker 1: for spouses, look for who's really serving the other person. 453 00:26:23,676 --> 00:26:26,116 Speaker 1: I mean, that is a really good thing to ask, 454 00:26:26,196 --> 00:26:27,315 Speaker 1: a good question to ask. 455 00:26:27,475 --> 00:26:31,955 Speaker 3: They say that that is one of the attributes that 456 00:26:32,436 --> 00:26:35,116 Speaker 3: the spiritual discipline that carries the most weight as far 457 00:26:35,196 --> 00:26:38,795 Speaker 3: as whether a child will take their faith from childhood 458 00:26:39,035 --> 00:26:45,515 Speaker 3: into adulthood is if parents have introduced them into service opportunities. Wow, 459 00:26:45,636 --> 00:26:49,635 Speaker 3: in service projects. That's why I always encourage people, you know, 460 00:26:49,796 --> 00:26:52,955 Speaker 3: take a different type of vacation some year and go 461 00:26:53,076 --> 00:26:55,596 Speaker 3: on a four day or a six day mission trip. 462 00:26:55,995 --> 00:26:59,475 Speaker 3: With your family. And what it does is it helps 463 00:26:59,515 --> 00:27:01,876 Speaker 3: them to get that focus off of themselves because they 464 00:27:01,916 --> 00:27:04,596 Speaker 3: come back and they say, man, we've got it really good. 465 00:27:04,916 --> 00:27:07,995 Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, and they'll be thinking about those kids that 466 00:27:08,035 --> 00:27:09,996 Speaker 3: maybe didn't have it is so good that they were 467 00:27:10,316 --> 00:27:13,916 Speaker 3: helping to serve. So I always encourage parents as a 468 00:27:14,035 --> 00:27:16,235 Speaker 3: great way, and it doesn't have to be a mission 469 00:27:16,275 --> 00:27:18,035 Speaker 3: trip out of the United States. It could even be 470 00:27:18,156 --> 00:27:22,555 Speaker 3: something as simple is going to a homeless shelter or 471 00:27:22,596 --> 00:27:25,795 Speaker 3: a soup kitchen in your neighborhood or in your community 472 00:27:26,235 --> 00:27:29,596 Speaker 3: and just making a difference in saying, this is what 473 00:27:29,636 --> 00:27:33,916 Speaker 3: we do. We're Miller's, we're Stones, We're with Wilson, this 474 00:27:33,955 --> 00:27:34,596 Speaker 3: is who we are. 475 00:27:34,995 --> 00:27:38,555 Speaker 1: Yeah. When we were chatting before the podcast we hit 476 00:27:38,596 --> 00:27:40,835 Speaker 1: the record button, we were talking about your son Sam 477 00:27:41,076 --> 00:27:43,955 Speaker 1: and that he is now a realtor and my husband 478 00:27:44,035 --> 00:27:46,116 Speaker 1: is also a realtor. So that's fun to talk about. 479 00:27:46,676 --> 00:27:50,196 Speaker 1: But tell us where he lives now and the story 480 00:27:50,235 --> 00:27:50,756 Speaker 1: behind him. 481 00:27:51,116 --> 00:27:55,636 Speaker 3: Oh, you know, that's a really fun one. Because all 482 00:27:55,636 --> 00:27:59,076 Speaker 3: of our grandchildren live out of town except for Sam 483 00:27:59,116 --> 00:28:02,275 Speaker 3: and his wife their two kids lived in Louisville and 484 00:28:02,316 --> 00:28:05,196 Speaker 3: they were thirty minutes away from us. So yes, they 485 00:28:05,196 --> 00:28:07,636 Speaker 3: were here, but thirty minutes away, Arlene. When you have 486 00:28:07,676 --> 00:28:11,116 Speaker 3: two little grandkids, that's a long ways away. And so 487 00:28:11,475 --> 00:28:13,995 Speaker 3: we found ourselves wanting to help at times when it 488 00:28:14,116 --> 00:28:16,835 Speaker 3: was just logistically, you know, a boy behind you if 489 00:28:16,836 --> 00:28:19,955 Speaker 3: they live ten minutes away. So they told us after 490 00:28:20,715 --> 00:28:23,755 Speaker 3: living there about two years, they said, hey, we're looking 491 00:28:23,796 --> 00:28:27,076 Speaker 3: at the house and we've put an offer in on it. 492 00:28:27,156 --> 00:28:29,035 Speaker 3: And we said, oh, great, where is it. Let us 493 00:28:29,035 --> 00:28:32,475 Speaker 3: see it? No No, I said, well we'll wait, and 494 00:28:32,515 --> 00:28:35,836 Speaker 3: so we waited and I said, okay, it's because they went. 495 00:28:35,876 --> 00:28:40,116 Speaker 3: So we started looking at every listing all around within 496 00:28:40,196 --> 00:28:43,356 Speaker 3: fifteen minutes of us trying to figure out, okay, could 497 00:28:43,356 --> 00:28:45,635 Speaker 3: this be the one? Could this be the one? And 498 00:28:45,676 --> 00:28:48,036 Speaker 3: then they said about a week later, they said, you know, 499 00:28:48,076 --> 00:28:51,436 Speaker 3: our loans approved, everything's going to go through. Everything looks good. 500 00:28:52,196 --> 00:28:55,036 Speaker 3: Meet us at the mall in the parking lot and 501 00:28:55,076 --> 00:28:57,276 Speaker 3: we'll take you and we'll show it to you. So 502 00:28:57,316 --> 00:28:59,956 Speaker 3: we're like, well, this is awesome. So we're thinking, okay, 503 00:28:59,956 --> 00:29:02,315 Speaker 3: it's got to be within ten minutes or they wouldn't 504 00:29:02,316 --> 00:29:04,556 Speaker 3: be making a big deal about it. And when we 505 00:29:04,596 --> 00:29:07,956 Speaker 3: got in the car, Arlen, they blindfolded us. 506 00:29:09,916 --> 00:29:12,395 Speaker 1: So now I'd like you. That's so pleasant. 507 00:29:14,196 --> 00:29:17,956 Speaker 3: Now our hearts are pounding and we're like, okay, okay, 508 00:29:17,996 --> 00:29:21,716 Speaker 3: what's up here? Well, they drove around. We knew where 509 00:29:21,716 --> 00:29:24,876 Speaker 3: they were for about the first three minutes, and then 510 00:29:25,076 --> 00:29:29,476 Speaker 3: he started doing donuts in circles and messed with our mind, 511 00:29:29,516 --> 00:29:33,356 Speaker 3: got our equilibrium thrown off. Yes, he is my son. 512 00:29:33,556 --> 00:29:38,956 Speaker 3: So about ten minutes later, pulls up, stops the car 513 00:29:39,556 --> 00:29:42,716 Speaker 3: and he says, okay, you guys can get out of 514 00:29:42,716 --> 00:29:46,836 Speaker 3: the car. We get out of the car. It take 515 00:29:46,876 --> 00:29:50,996 Speaker 3: the blindfolds off of us. And their house is six 516 00:29:51,076 --> 00:29:58,356 Speaker 3: doors down from our house. Oh, I'll tell you that 517 00:29:58,396 --> 00:30:02,156 Speaker 3: part of it before the podcast. Oh, I mean, and 518 00:30:02,596 --> 00:30:05,716 Speaker 3: I know that might not work for everyone. Oh my goodness, 519 00:30:05,716 --> 00:30:09,556 Speaker 3: but it has worked really well for us. We are 520 00:30:09,876 --> 00:30:11,676 Speaker 3: at almost one year. 521 00:30:11,996 --> 00:30:12,156 Speaker 1: Oh. 522 00:30:13,436 --> 00:30:18,156 Speaker 3: I cannot tell you the opportunities that we get to 523 00:30:18,196 --> 00:30:22,316 Speaker 3: pour in just because of the closeness and also hopefully 524 00:30:22,316 --> 00:30:24,875 Speaker 3: to lighten their load in a lot of ways. And 525 00:30:25,396 --> 00:30:28,236 Speaker 3: you know, it certainly doesn't hurt. When I'm sixty four 526 00:30:28,316 --> 00:30:31,476 Speaker 3: years old, having some kid down the street, I can say, 527 00:30:31,516 --> 00:30:33,276 Speaker 3: can you come help me with my technology? 528 00:30:33,756 --> 00:30:34,315 Speaker 1: You can do this? 529 00:30:34,916 --> 00:30:36,796 Speaker 3: Can you do that? Mom doesn't want me climbing on 530 00:30:36,836 --> 00:30:39,476 Speaker 3: a ladder that high and reaching that high, She didn't 531 00:30:39,556 --> 00:30:44,076 Speaker 3: if you break your neck, but you know, so yeah, 532 00:30:44,156 --> 00:30:48,916 Speaker 3: it's it's been really cool. And you know, I got 533 00:30:48,956 --> 00:30:51,276 Speaker 3: to share the rest of this with you. I don't 534 00:30:51,276 --> 00:30:56,636 Speaker 3: tell this very often, but the reason we didn't think that, 535 00:30:57,476 --> 00:30:59,756 Speaker 3: we didn't even consider it, was because we thought it 536 00:30:59,756 --> 00:31:02,796 Speaker 3: was out of their price range. And so that's why 537 00:31:02,836 --> 00:31:06,075 Speaker 3: it was never even on our radar screen that that 538 00:31:06,076 --> 00:31:09,876 Speaker 3: would even be a possibility. And as only a dad 539 00:31:09,916 --> 00:31:12,036 Speaker 3: can do, I put my hand on his shoulder. I said, 540 00:31:12,916 --> 00:31:17,436 Speaker 3: I said, Sam, are you sure that you can afford this? 541 00:31:18,316 --> 00:31:22,236 Speaker 3: And he said, and what if we can't? He said, 542 00:31:22,276 --> 00:31:28,076 Speaker 3: you know, he said, if a year from now, if 543 00:31:28,076 --> 00:31:30,996 Speaker 3: in a year from now we have to sell it 544 00:31:31,036 --> 00:31:34,236 Speaker 3: and move someplace else, I'll always be able to say, 545 00:31:34,996 --> 00:31:36,556 Speaker 3: for one year, I get to live down the street 546 00:31:36,596 --> 00:31:43,116 Speaker 3: from my parents. Oh so I'm like, okay, all makements. 547 00:31:44,956 --> 00:31:47,276 Speaker 1: We're good. God's got that two hundred bucks. He'll send 548 00:31:47,276 --> 00:31:51,236 Speaker 1: it right on through. It's gonna be flood so, oh, 549 00:31:51,396 --> 00:31:52,716 Speaker 1: my goodness, gracious. 550 00:31:52,876 --> 00:31:58,356 Speaker 3: So it's been a blessing. And uh and our other daughters, 551 00:31:59,156 --> 00:32:01,876 Speaker 3: they have loved it, they've enjoyed it. When they come 552 00:32:01,956 --> 00:32:05,476 Speaker 3: to town. They enjoy going back and forth between the 553 00:32:05,556 --> 00:32:08,596 Speaker 3: two houses, and it's been really it's really been fun 554 00:32:08,636 --> 00:32:10,036 Speaker 3: for our entire family. 555 00:32:10,116 --> 00:32:12,876 Speaker 1: My goodness, that's amazing. So look at the things we 556 00:32:12,956 --> 00:32:16,076 Speaker 1: get to look forward to. To have this close relationship 557 00:32:16,156 --> 00:32:19,115 Speaker 1: with our kids, that's what God wants for us. How 558 00:32:19,156 --> 00:32:21,716 Speaker 1: can people find out more about you? Tell us about 559 00:32:21,716 --> 00:32:24,396 Speaker 1: pastor to Pastor and anything. If people are like, I 560 00:32:24,596 --> 00:32:26,476 Speaker 1: need to have more Dave Stone in my life, what 561 00:32:26,676 --> 00:32:27,116 Speaker 1: do they do? 562 00:32:28,036 --> 00:32:30,556 Speaker 3: I'll tell you if you have a friend that is 563 00:32:30,676 --> 00:32:34,156 Speaker 3: in ministry or in some phase of Christian leadership, where 564 00:32:34,156 --> 00:32:37,196 Speaker 3: as a core volunteer at a church, I just would 565 00:32:37,276 --> 00:32:39,796 Speaker 3: encourage them to check out a pastor to pastor with 566 00:32:39,956 --> 00:32:44,116 Speaker 3: Dave's Stone and they can go to Instagram at Pastor 567 00:32:44,276 --> 00:32:49,315 Speaker 3: to Pastor podcast. That's the Instagram handle Pastor to Pastor podcast, 568 00:32:50,036 --> 00:32:54,916 Speaker 3: and it's wherever you get your podcasts. Don't stop listening 569 00:32:54,956 --> 00:32:57,756 Speaker 3: to this one. But if you have someone that's in ministry, 570 00:32:58,996 --> 00:33:01,836 Speaker 3: our goal is to encourage, inspire and challenge kind of 571 00:33:01,916 --> 00:33:02,516 Speaker 3: like what you're doing. 572 00:33:02,596 --> 00:33:04,876 Speaker 1: Our link Yes, awesome, we'll have that link in the 573 00:33:04,876 --> 00:33:06,996 Speaker 1: show notes. Thank you so much, David. It's been such 574 00:33:07,036 --> 00:33:07,436 Speaker 1: a joy. 575 00:33:07,796 --> 00:33:10,315 Speaker 3: Oh you know how I feel about you. I always 576 00:33:10,436 --> 00:33:14,796 Speaker 3: appreciate your writings. You're speaking your insights, and thank you 577 00:33:14,916 --> 00:33:17,315 Speaker 3: so much for letting God use you to encourage so 578 00:33:17,356 --> 00:33:18,356 Speaker 3: many moms and dads. 579 00:33:18,636 --> 00:33:24,196 Speaker 1: Thank you, Dave. I hope you've enjoyed today's conversation. I'd 580 00:33:24,276 --> 00:33:27,876 Speaker 1: love to keep in touch beyond this podcast. Click subscribe 581 00:33:28,036 --> 00:33:30,075 Speaker 1: in the show notes and I will give you my 582 00:33:30,236 --> 00:33:33,636 Speaker 1: latest email to keep up on what's happening with technology 583 00:33:33,836 --> 00:33:34,436 Speaker 1: and kids. 584 00:33:34,956 --> 00:33:35,796 Speaker 3: And maybe you like. 585 00:33:35,916 --> 00:33:38,876 Speaker 1: Reading or listening to books. I have a lot of books. 586 00:33:38,996 --> 00:33:42,476 Speaker 1: You could start with The Big Three, Making Marriage Easier, 587 00:33:43,116 --> 00:33:46,876 Speaker 1: Parents Rising, or Screen Kids. A big thank you to 588 00:33:46,996 --> 00:33:49,476 Speaker 1: the team at Life Audio for their partnership with the 589 00:33:49,516 --> 00:33:53,436 Speaker 1: Happy Home podcast. Check out lifeaudio dot com for dozens 590 00:33:53,476 --> 00:33:57,716 Speaker 1: of other faith related podcasts about prayer, Bible study, and more. 591 00:33:58,396 --> 00:34:01,316 Speaker 1: Remember you don't have to come from a happy home 592 00:34:01,436 --> 00:34:04,756 Speaker 1: to create one. You too, can have a happy home.