WEBVTT - Vitamin N: The Parenting Prescription That Works | John Rosemond 0:00:02.680 --> 0:00:07.240 Life Audio Dennis Dennis Jennis Dennis Prager. 0:00:07.800 --> 0:00:09.680 Do you have a question you've always wanted to ask 0:00:09.720 --> 0:00:13.480 Dennis Praguer. Well, now it's your opportunity for upcoming Ask 0:00:13.560 --> 0:00:17.079 Me Anything episodes of Timeless Wisdom with Dennis Prager. We're 0:00:17.120 --> 0:00:20.720 inviting you to leave Dennis a voicemail. He'll personally answer 0:00:20.760 --> 0:00:23.680 selected questions, and your question could be featured on a 0:00:23.720 --> 0:00:28.920 future episode. 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Dennis Prager on today's episode of Timeless Wisdom. 0:01:05.880 --> 0:01:08.399 You know, when I think about my stuff, I think 0:01:08.440 --> 0:01:11.800 in terms of Ecclesiastes. There's nothing new under the Sun. 0:01:12.160 --> 0:01:17.399 I'm just a guy who's articulating timeless principles, one of 0:01:17.440 --> 0:01:23.160 which is that denial self denial is good for the soul. 0:01:23.440 --> 0:01:28.560 And a child learns to deny himself by being denied. 0:01:29.080 --> 0:01:33.800 And the very unfortunate thing is that today's parents don't 0:01:33.840 --> 0:01:38.600 deny vitamin end being no the most character building a 0:01:38.680 --> 0:01:42.840 two letter word in the English language. And today's kids 0:01:42.880 --> 0:01:47.160 are not being denied. The temper tantrums that young people 0:01:47.160 --> 0:01:50.280 are throwing all over America because what they wanted to 0:01:50.320 --> 0:01:51.280 happen didn't happen. 0:01:51.720 --> 0:01:55.920 That's coming up on Timeless Wisdom with Dennis Prager. Welcome 0:01:55.960 --> 0:02:00.000 to Timeless Wisdom with Dennis Prager. Here thousands of hours 0:02:00.160 --> 0:02:03.440 of Dennis's lectures, courses in classic radio programs, and to 0:02:03.480 --> 0:02:08.160 purchase Dennis Prager's Rational Bibles, go to Dennisprager dot com. 0:02:08.400 --> 0:02:12.240 Hi, everybody, I'm Dennis Prager. Welcome to my show. I 0:02:12.320 --> 0:02:16.440 have on a man whom I respect greatly. I don't 0:02:16.480 --> 0:02:20.079 remember when I first came across his work, but it 0:02:20.240 --> 0:02:25.200 was a great moment because the man has the one 0:02:25.240 --> 0:02:27.880 of the rarest. What is rare. Let's see, courage is rare, 0:02:28.919 --> 0:02:34.640 Intellectual honesty is rare, and wisdom is rare, and he 0:02:34.880 --> 0:02:38.160 has I think he has all three, but it's the 0:02:38.200 --> 0:02:42.400 wisdom that I'm really focusing on. He's John Rosemond, family psychologist, 0:02:43.360 --> 0:02:47.400 and who has a column and who's written fourteen books. 0:02:47.400 --> 0:02:52.720 I believe he's now working on one on the children 0:02:54.360 --> 0:03:00.080 and in Madagascar. His runout of topics after fourteen and 0:03:00.120 --> 0:03:07.119 so he's really now pretty much concentrating on micro subjects. 0:03:07.880 --> 0:03:11.080 You know, that's right? Oh? Is that right? Is that 0:03:11.080 --> 0:03:15.880 what you're oh you mean in suburban and suburban Madagascar? Right? 0:03:16.320 --> 0:03:19.920 You know, thank you, thank you. You know. I just 0:03:19.960 --> 0:03:21.760 want you to know. This is a sort of tactic 0:03:21.800 --> 0:03:24.080 of mine to see if the person I'm about to 0:03:24.120 --> 0:03:27.760 interview was listening, I throw in some absurdity and if 0:03:27.760 --> 0:03:30.959 there's no reaction, I know, oh this is this is 0:03:31.000 --> 0:03:35.720 going to be a problem interview anyway. Yeah, that's right, exactly, 0:03:36.080 --> 0:03:42.000 that's right. Checking his email exactly. This is John Rosemond. 0:03:42.200 --> 0:03:46.119 And John Rosemond has the latest pro university video and 0:03:47.160 --> 0:03:50.520 he uh, it's already one and a half million views 0:03:50.560 --> 0:03:53.520 in two days or three days? What I guess it 0:03:53.520 --> 0:03:56.280 goes up Monday, So I guess it's three days, two 0:03:56.320 --> 0:03:57.880 and a half days and then even I try to 0:03:57.920 --> 0:04:02.080 be precise, and sometimes it trus people and it's is 0:04:02.160 --> 0:04:05.800 your child getting enough vitamin N? And I want to 0:04:05.920 --> 0:04:10.680 just tell you, folks, because I I think you'll find 0:04:10.680 --> 0:04:12.600 this of interest, John, you will find this of interest. 0:04:13.320 --> 0:04:17.839 There is I am a religious person, and in Judaism, 0:04:18.400 --> 0:04:22.120 there is a very famous statement in the Talmud, the 0:04:22.160 --> 0:04:25.360 second holiest work after the Bible, and that is that 0:04:25.440 --> 0:04:31.240 whoever cites a source brings redemption to the world. It's 0:04:31.279 --> 0:04:34.800 a beautiful phrase because it says you, wist all, you 0:04:34.920 --> 0:04:38.280 must never take credit for something that you don't own. 0:04:39.040 --> 0:04:42.800 So I have cited vitamin N in almost every speech 0:04:42.880 --> 0:04:46.360 I have given about children, and of course every single 0:04:46.360 --> 0:04:50.479 time I say from this is from doctor John Rosemond. 0:04:50.800 --> 0:04:52.360 I just want I want you to know that, I 0:04:52.360 --> 0:04:54.719 want the audience to know that because I consider it 0:04:54.760 --> 0:04:59.200 a brilliant insight. Vitamin N. Well, you tell everybody what's 0:04:59.279 --> 0:04:59.880 vitamin N. 0:05:01.880 --> 0:05:04.920 Well. First of all, Dennis, you honor me and you 0:05:05.000 --> 0:05:08.280 humble me at the same time. I'm so grateful for 0:05:09.320 --> 0:05:12.600 what for our friendship. I mean, I really and truly am. 0:05:12.800 --> 0:05:14.240 You've been an inspiration to. 0:05:14.279 --> 0:05:15.640 Me and it's. 0:05:17.400 --> 0:05:22.159 An honor to know that I've been a source if 0:05:22.160 --> 0:05:22.800 you will for. 0:05:22.880 --> 0:05:25.000 You a mutual way. 0:05:25.160 --> 0:05:27.599 You know, when I think about my stuff, I think 0:05:27.680 --> 0:05:31.000 in terms of Ecclesiastes. There's nothing new under the sun. 0:05:31.360 --> 0:05:36.640 I'm just a guy who's articulating timeless principles, one of 0:05:36.680 --> 0:05:42.400 which is that denial self denial is good for the soul. 0:05:42.680 --> 0:05:47.760 And a child learns to deny himself by being denied. 0:05:48.320 --> 0:05:53.040 And the very unfortunate thing is that today's parents don't 0:05:53.080 --> 0:05:57.840 deny vitamin end being no the most character building a 0:05:57.920 --> 0:06:02.080 two letter word in the English language, and today's kids 0:06:02.120 --> 0:06:06.880 are not being denied. And to tie this into current events, 0:06:08.480 --> 0:06:12.000 as I was thinking about the show, I was thinking 0:06:12.040 --> 0:06:16.760 in terms of the temper tantrums that young people are 0:06:16.800 --> 0:06:20.080 throwing all over America because what they wanted to happen 0:06:20.120 --> 0:06:20.719 didn't happen. 0:06:22.240 --> 0:06:27.159 Exactly right. It's totally tied into your theme, the video, 0:06:27.400 --> 0:06:31.520 and your general theme. Oh it didn't go my way, 0:06:32.000 --> 0:06:36.600 and I will have a temper tantrum. Now. I want 0:06:36.640 --> 0:06:39.120 to ask you a question, because this, to me is 0:06:39.640 --> 0:06:44.839 as interesting as the concept itself. When I grew up, 0:06:45.360 --> 0:06:50.680 and I believe that I represent most people of the 0:06:50.720 --> 0:06:54.760 baby boomer generation. Although that may not be true. Now 0:06:54.800 --> 0:06:58.440 that certainly my parents' generation and every generation before them, 0:06:58.680 --> 0:07:03.080 let's start with my parents. Don't telling a child no 0:07:04.080 --> 0:07:11.160 was natural to parents? It stopped being So what happened, Well. 0:07:10.960 --> 0:07:13.040 I think it was not only natural. I think it 0:07:13.160 --> 0:07:19.960 was something parents understood to be an obligation because these parents, 0:07:21.000 --> 0:07:27.240 prior to the psychological parenting era which began in the 0:07:27.280 --> 0:07:30.320 mid nineteen sixties, had what I call a wide angle 0:07:30.440 --> 0:07:34.440 view of parenting Dennis. They understood that their obligation was 0:07:34.480 --> 0:07:38.680 not just to the child, which is what today's parents believed. 0:07:40.440 --> 0:07:46.160 Parents in our parents generation, to some degree, although it 0:07:46.160 --> 0:07:49.840 had become considerably diluted and weakened by the time we 0:07:49.960 --> 0:07:54.000 began having children, understood that proper parenting is an act 0:07:54.000 --> 0:07:59.800 of love for your neighborhood. And they understood, as a 0:07:59.840 --> 0:08:04.040 consequence of that wide angle view, that they had an 0:08:04.120 --> 0:08:09.520 obligation to send out into the world, into the community first, 0:08:09.560 --> 0:08:14.280 and into the world children who were accepting of reality. 0:08:15.520 --> 0:08:20.600 One such reality being as articulated by the great twentieth 0:08:20.600 --> 0:08:23.960 century philosopher Mick Jagger, you can't always get what you want, 0:08:24.840 --> 0:08:29.600 and so yeah, it was felt as an obligation that 0:08:29.680 --> 0:08:32.320 you tell your child no, because this was a reality 0:08:32.360 --> 0:08:37.640 of life. And furthermore, it was understood that this is 0:08:37.679 --> 0:08:42.480 the way you produce a well socialized, highly motivated individual 0:08:42.600 --> 0:08:46.959 opened to understand such thing as a valid, entitled right. 0:08:47.080 --> 0:08:47.679 What happened. 0:08:49.480 --> 0:08:54.640 What happened is that the nineteen sixties came along, during 0:08:54.679 --> 0:09:01.720 which time we became a progressive postmodern culture, and the 0:09:01.920 --> 0:09:08.199 psychological community, the new parenting experts began manufacturing these neu 0:09:08.320 --> 0:09:13.680 veaux postmodern parenting memes, one of which is that children 0:09:13.880 --> 0:09:19.360 have a right to express their feelings freely. And so, 0:09:19.520 --> 0:09:23.840 for the first time in parenting, in any generation, in 0:09:23.880 --> 0:09:28.680 any culture, parents began to believe that children's emotional outbursts 0:09:28.679 --> 0:09:29.240 had meaning. 0:09:31.040 --> 0:09:33.280 And when I want, I want, I want that to 0:09:33.360 --> 0:09:37.559 sink in to my audience. There are times when I 0:09:37.679 --> 0:09:40.880 visualize what a person is saying and I'm thinking, are 0:09:40.880 --> 0:09:45.200 people understanding that this would come in italics? So why 0:09:45.240 --> 0:09:48.560 don't you say that again? For the first time? People? 0:09:48.679 --> 0:09:50.200 I mean, let me repeat it, so why I can 0:09:50.320 --> 0:09:55.200 memorize it. For the first time, parents started believing that 0:09:55.360 --> 0:09:57.559 children's children's. 0:09:57.160 --> 0:10:01.720 Anti emotional outright had meaning, meaning, so right that they 0:10:01.840 --> 0:10:04.760 that they had some sort of valid content that needed 0:10:04.800 --> 0:10:12.800 to be deciphered. And so the what was previously, as 0:10:12.840 --> 0:10:15.840 we are told in the Bible and Proverbs, thought to 0:10:15.880 --> 0:10:19.880 be nothing but emanations of the foolishness bound in the 0:10:19.880 --> 0:10:25.480 heart of the child, was suddenly given credence. And you know, 0:10:25.520 --> 0:10:28.600 one of the questions I asked my audiences is this, 0:10:29.120 --> 0:10:34.640 raise your hand if when you make a decision that 0:10:34.760 --> 0:10:39.120 your child doesn't like, and your child reacts very emotionally too, 0:10:40.040 --> 0:10:46.120 you believe that on the basis of your child's emotional reaction, 0:10:47.120 --> 0:10:53.280 you may have made the wrong decision. And it was amazing, Denis, 0:10:53.880 --> 0:10:59.040 I would say, my audiences, and that's a conservative estimate. Hand, 0:10:59.720 --> 0:11:04.120 And this is what's happened to American parenting since ironically, 0:11:04.440 --> 0:11:08.760 American parents began listening to people like me, people with 0:11:08.840 --> 0:11:11.480 capital letters after their names, tell them how to raise kids. 0:11:13.000 --> 0:11:17.640 Well, that's part of my that buttresses my belief that 0:11:18.240 --> 0:11:21.400 college makes you stupid and graduate school makes you stupider. 0:11:22.720 --> 0:11:26.920 Because I heard an interview yesterday with somebody I forget 0:11:26.960 --> 0:11:30.760 who it was, who said, how can these universities be 0:11:30.960 --> 0:11:33.720 so stupid? You know, you pay all this money to 0:11:33.760 --> 0:11:35.439 go to these places that make you dumb. 0:11:36.240 --> 0:11:39.679 Yeah, that is exactly right. I'm speaking everybody to John Rosemond, 0:11:40.559 --> 0:11:47.360 the nationally famous and for Rolino, internationally famous family psychologist. 0:11:47.440 --> 0:11:51.559 He has many terrific books. You should absolutely look at 0:11:51.559 --> 0:11:58.040 them and hopefully get some of them. In any event. 0:11:58.520 --> 0:12:02.160 His video is the late Praguer University course Is your 0:12:02.240 --> 0:12:05.960 Child Getting Enough Vitamin N? Is a rare opportunity for 0:12:06.040 --> 0:12:09.360 you to talk to him if you'd like to call. 0:12:09.400 --> 0:12:12.720 This is how children should be raised for their sake, 0:12:13.559 --> 0:12:17.600 for your sake, and for society's sake. You are listening 0:12:17.640 --> 0:12:21.600 to the Dennis Praguer Show one eight Praguer seven seven six. 0:12:22.400 --> 0:12:25.760 This episode of Timeless Wisdom will continue right after this. 0:12:31.240 --> 0:12:35.000 Now back to more of Dennis Prager's Timeless Wisdom. 0:12:35.440 --> 0:12:38.520 I'm speaking to John Rosemond, one of my favorite people 0:12:38.720 --> 0:12:44.280 and a magnificent why psychologist. His video is up on 0:12:45.280 --> 0:12:48.360 at Prague University. Is your Child Getting Enough Vitamin N? 0:12:48.480 --> 0:12:51.160 Vitamin N is his terrific term for the word no. 0:12:52.559 --> 0:12:56.280 I was watching yesterday and in passing, I don't get 0:12:56.280 --> 0:13:00.640 to see much TV, but it was on the family 0:13:00.760 --> 0:13:04.800 kitchen and the Little TV and Bill O'Reilly had two 0:13:04.840 --> 0:13:09.040 students on from two different universities and after they were 0:13:09.080 --> 0:13:13.040 talking about all of the protests and what they're about. 0:13:13.120 --> 0:13:16.839 He asked each of them, one female, one male, and 0:13:16.880 --> 0:13:21.440 he said, so are you for open borders? And the 0:13:21.559 --> 0:13:24.959 female says, I have no comment and the male, oh, 0:13:24.960 --> 0:13:27.160 he was from Tufts. I don't remember where she was from. 0:13:27.480 --> 0:13:31.400 And the male said, I let's see. She said, I 0:13:31.400 --> 0:13:34.199 don't wish to comment on that, and he said, well, 0:13:34.280 --> 0:13:37.440 you know what, I really haven't studied the issue. So 0:13:37.600 --> 0:13:44.199 they're complaining about cracking down on illegal immigration, but they 0:13:44.240 --> 0:13:49.480 won't say what their position is on open borders. I can't. 0:13:49.679 --> 0:13:52.160 I can't. It's like I want to talk to you 0:13:52.160 --> 0:13:54.000 about what two and two is, but I won't talk 0:13:54.000 --> 0:13:57.960 to you about one and one is. And I I 0:13:58.040 --> 0:14:01.120 just thought you'd find that interesting. It is it is all. 0:14:01.200 --> 0:14:04.320 It's all emotion, and I think it's rooted in the 0:14:04.440 --> 0:14:09.319 not being told no, your emotions can't direct your life 0:14:09.480 --> 0:14:10.800 any thoughts. 0:14:11.240 --> 0:14:18.559 That's romanticism come to full flower. The individual being driven 0:14:18.880 --> 0:14:28.640 by feelings, and the the and the feelings are are 0:14:28.720 --> 0:14:33.160 such that they can't even explain them. They can't articulate 0:14:33.400 --> 0:14:35.760 why they feel the way that they do. They just 0:14:35.840 --> 0:14:37.560 feel the way that they do. And they have a 0:14:37.720 --> 0:14:42.680 right to feel the way that they do and so, but. 0:14:42.720 --> 0:14:45.440 I don't have a right to say you're wrong. 0:14:46.960 --> 0:14:52.080 Yeah, right, and and any evidence to the current because Dennis, 0:14:52.120 --> 0:14:56.920 as you well know, I'm the the When you are 0:14:57.000 --> 0:15:01.240 driven by emotion, you are by definition not intellectually honest. 0:15:01.840 --> 0:15:04.680 And it doesn't matter to this generation of young people 0:15:04.720 --> 0:15:07.320 with the facts are. They're not even interested in the facts. 0:15:07.320 --> 0:15:12.680 That's why, in my estimation, the girl has no opinion 0:15:12.680 --> 0:15:16.360 and the guy hasn't studied the issue enough. But they'll 0:15:16.400 --> 0:15:18.640 get out in the street and they'll scream and yell 0:15:18.680 --> 0:15:22.360 about the fact that Donald Trump is not for open borders. 0:15:22.600 --> 0:15:25.560 But they don't understand the issue at all. It's just 0:15:25.600 --> 0:15:28.880 another opportunity to vent their sacred emotions. 0:15:29.800 --> 0:15:34.920 Life is not ideal, and I will have a temper tantrum. 0:15:35.440 --> 0:15:41.000 Yeah, But to this generation, this generation has been nurtured 0:15:41.280 --> 0:15:45.400 in a way that causes them to believe that life 0:15:46.040 --> 0:15:51.880 has no meaning if life has no soap opera. And 0:15:51.960 --> 0:15:57.280 so this generation of young people takes every opportunity to 0:15:57.400 --> 0:16:03.600 manufacture personal soap operas, collective soap operas out of the mundane. 0:16:05.280 --> 0:16:10.640 That's so true. It's the drama Queen generation produced by 0:16:10.680 --> 0:16:13.360 the parents and by the culture. There are so many 0:16:13.400 --> 0:16:15.600 people who have questions for you. And since it's so 0:16:15.720 --> 0:16:18.400 rare to get to have this opportunity for people, I'm 0:16:18.400 --> 0:16:22.000 going to go to some calls that okay, okay, So 0:16:22.160 --> 0:16:27.160 again I have the family psychologist John Rosemond on and 0:16:27.360 --> 0:16:31.520 we'll be go to Los Angeles and Miriam, Miriam High, 0:16:31.520 --> 0:16:33.320 Dennis Prager and John rosemond. 0:16:34.440 --> 0:16:44.640 Hello, Miriam, show a lot and mister Rosemont, I. 0:16:43.520 --> 0:16:46.320 Saw your video, write him an end. I showed it 0:16:46.400 --> 0:16:51.400 to my husband the other night because he believes, you know, 0:16:51.880 --> 0:16:56.160 if we should provide the technology and whatever, you know, 0:16:56.200 --> 0:17:00.080 the kids need to you know, excel in school and 0:17:00.080 --> 0:17:02.600 then we can't give them everything all the time. So 0:17:02.640 --> 0:17:05.600 I showed him the video and lo and behold. This 0:17:05.800 --> 0:17:10.200 morning we had a disagreement because I find out that 0:17:12.000 --> 0:17:15.960 he gave my kids a dollar to make their bed. 0:17:16.760 --> 0:17:21.399 And I was so upset about it, and I said, 0:17:22.000 --> 0:17:24.760 didn't we just like I showed you this video and 0:17:25.040 --> 0:17:29.159 you know, it made so much sense, and you know, 0:17:29.400 --> 0:17:34.120 I just want to get a different perspective, am I am? 0:17:34.119 --> 0:17:37.159 I upset to be wrong at him. You know, I 0:17:37.200 --> 0:17:41.960 don't believe he said, Oh I like to reward good behavior. 0:17:42.520 --> 0:17:46.800 And they said, I'm not responsibility. That's their duty. It's 0:17:46.880 --> 0:17:49.440 not you know, they're not supposed to get cheap from 0:17:49.480 --> 0:17:51.719 making their bed. He's like, yeah, but it was just 0:17:51.720 --> 0:17:52.160 a dollar. 0:17:52.160 --> 0:17:55.040 I think it doesn't matter, all right, love it. I'm 0:17:55.119 --> 0:17:57.240 very I'm as curious as you are to hear John 0:17:57.440 --> 0:17:58.440 Rosemand's response. 0:17:58.480 --> 0:18:01.840 Go ahead, but I hate to take sides in these 0:18:01.840 --> 0:18:08.320 family disputes, Miriam. But it's more than an issue of responsibility. 0:18:08.320 --> 0:18:12.360 It's an issue of obligation. And that's what today's kids 0:18:12.359 --> 0:18:15.399 are not being taught within their families, is any sense 0:18:15.440 --> 0:18:21.960 of obligation to their parents or their families. And your 0:18:22.080 --> 0:18:25.720 husband's very well intentioned behavior is an example of that. 0:18:26.680 --> 0:18:30.399 I was speaking to I was in Hawaii about a 0:18:30.440 --> 0:18:34.040 year ago, and I was doing a workshop and a 0:18:34.080 --> 0:18:38.240 fella came up and introduced himself as a submarine commander, 0:18:38.920 --> 0:18:45.160 and he said, John, this entitlement attitude has even infected 0:18:45.840 --> 0:18:50.080 the military at the level of submarine command, which is 0:18:50.119 --> 0:18:55.239 the most demanding of all military jobs. That's arguable, but 0:18:57.240 --> 0:19:02.560 it's probably probably true. And he said this, these young 0:19:02.680 --> 0:19:10.640 people who qualify for submarine work, they don't understand that 0:19:10.840 --> 0:19:14.119 they have been given a privilege. I tell them to 0:19:14.160 --> 0:19:17.320 do something and they basically ask me, what am I 0:19:17.359 --> 0:19:18.920 going to get if I do it? 0:19:19.520 --> 0:19:19.840 Wow? 0:19:21.119 --> 0:19:27.000 Wow, this is the biggest problem I deal with in submarine. 0:19:27.560 --> 0:19:30.600 His answer should be you get to stay on the submarine. 0:19:31.480 --> 0:19:36.960 Yeah, that's what you get the submarine precisely. But isn't 0:19:36.960 --> 0:19:38.159 that mind blowing? 0:19:38.320 --> 0:19:40.800 Yeah? Now that is where did you hear this. 0:19:41.800 --> 0:19:43.440 In Hawaii from a submarine? 0:19:43.440 --> 0:19:45.520 Com Oh? I see? Okay, great? Are you were speaking? 0:19:45.560 --> 0:19:48.520 Are your workshop in Hawaii? Yeah? All right, I want 0:19:48.560 --> 0:19:50.639 to I want to bounce off the theory. Well, I 0:19:50.720 --> 0:19:54.000 asked you why this is happening, and your answer was 0:19:54.200 --> 0:19:59.159 superb And I agree. Is another possibility, and we just 0:19:59.160 --> 0:20:02.560 take a break and then we'll hear your response. Is 0:20:02.600 --> 0:20:08.120 another possibility that parents want to be loved by their 0:20:08.240 --> 0:20:13.679 children at every moment of their lives. We shall be back. 0:20:14.119 --> 0:20:18.159 I'm speaking to the psychologist John Rosemond. His video course 0:20:18.320 --> 0:20:19.760 is up at pre University. 0:20:20.240 --> 0:20:23.600 This episode of Timeless Wisdom will continue right after this. 0:20:29.080 --> 0:20:33.520 Now back to more of Dennis Prager's Timeless Wisdom. 0:20:33.800 --> 0:20:38.239 Well, I have the man on in that in not 0:20:38.320 --> 0:20:40.879 even three days, they got a million and a half views, 0:20:41.040 --> 0:20:46.080 on YouTube and Facebook and it'll go into the millions, 0:20:48.880 --> 0:20:51.720 and as it should. If every parent saw this, we 0:20:51.760 --> 0:20:54.560 would have a better America and a better world. Vitamin 0:20:54.640 --> 0:20:58.200 N is the word no, and it's the one vitamin 0:20:58.400 --> 0:21:01.119 kids don't seem to be good, and it's been at 0:21:01.200 --> 0:21:04.800 least a generation. So I asked you a question, and then, 0:21:04.840 --> 0:21:06.359 by the way, I want to I want to comment 0:21:06.400 --> 0:21:09.720 on Miriam's call about the paying for the kid a 0:21:09.800 --> 0:21:13.520 dollar to make the bed. But I wanted you to 0:21:13.560 --> 0:21:16.199 respond to this when I asked you why this has happened, 0:21:16.200 --> 0:21:20.760 the coddling, and you gave this excellent response about needing 0:21:20.800 --> 0:21:25.919 to validate every emotional outburst. So is another possibility that 0:21:26.040 --> 0:21:29.680 parents want to be loved too much and too consistently? 0:21:31.160 --> 0:21:34.480 Yeah, well it's not. I would I'm not disagreeing with that. 0:21:34.600 --> 0:21:36.359 Oh you can. By the way, I don't know. I 0:21:36.440 --> 0:21:38.760 just want you to Okay, okay, go ahead. 0:21:38.800 --> 0:21:40.880 I know I can, but I'm not. I just want 0:21:40.920 --> 0:21:43.439 to make that clearer proactively that I would change the 0:21:43.440 --> 0:21:48.840 word to like because I think there is a substantial difference. 0:21:49.400 --> 0:21:51.840 I think that today's parents want to be liked by 0:21:51.880 --> 0:21:55.400 their kids. And one of the things that I talk 0:21:55.480 --> 0:21:59.600 about quite often in my books, newspaper column and public 0:21:59.600 --> 0:22:05.160 President Asians is that over the last fifty years, since 0:22:05.160 --> 0:22:08.879 we began listening to psychologists tell us how to raise kids, 0:22:08.880 --> 0:22:15.760 and this is largely an artifact of a psychological parenting paradigm, 0:22:16.600 --> 0:22:24.280 parents have substituted the desire for relationship with their children 0:22:26.359 --> 0:22:33.160 for the obligation to provide leadership to their children. They 0:22:33.200 --> 0:22:37.119 don't understand anymore that proper parenting is an active leadership. 0:22:37.880 --> 0:22:41.760 They believe now that it's an active relationship. And as 0:22:41.800 --> 0:22:46.280 a consequence of this, Dennis, the norm in American parenting, 0:22:46.680 --> 0:22:54.200 especially in the mother child relationship, has become codependency Today's 0:22:54.200 --> 0:22:59.000 parents when there's no emotional boundary between parent and child, 0:22:59.000 --> 0:23:03.040 and especially mother and child, when the child feels something, 0:23:04.800 --> 0:23:09.680 the mother feels it. The child fails the mother she 0:23:09.760 --> 0:23:12.840 feels that she has failed. The child is bullied, the 0:23:12.880 --> 0:23:17.560 mother feels that she's been bullied, the child gets upset 0:23:17.560 --> 0:23:22.119 about something, the mother feels that herself to be in 0:23:22.160 --> 0:23:27.679 a state of angst. And so the consequence of this 0:23:27.880 --> 0:23:31.960 is that there is lacking in the life of the 0:23:32.040 --> 0:23:38.280 average American child, someone who will represent reality correctly to 0:23:38.359 --> 0:23:42.359 the child someone who will say, when the child has 0:23:42.520 --> 0:23:47.840 a inappropriate emotional outburst, which ninety percent of children's emotional 0:23:47.880 --> 0:23:54.439 outbursts are inappropriate, that this is ridiculous, This has no 0:23:54.680 --> 0:23:58.040 bearing on anything, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. You 0:23:58.119 --> 0:24:00.720 and I are members of the last generation of American 0:24:00.800 --> 0:24:10.359 parents of American children, whose parents felt the obligation to 0:24:10.560 --> 0:24:15.480 discipline not only our behavior, but to discipline our thoughts 0:24:15.520 --> 0:24:19.520 and our emotions as well. And today's parents only you know, 0:24:19.800 --> 0:24:23.600 there's another topic entirely, but they think of discipline strictly 0:24:23.640 --> 0:24:28.240 in terms of behavior, and so today's children don't think 0:24:28.280 --> 0:24:31.800 straight and they don't feel straight either. 0:24:32.960 --> 0:24:35.520 That's so fascinating. I tell people, they say, where does 0:24:35.560 --> 0:24:37.720 you learn how to speak? And you know, because people, 0:24:38.720 --> 0:24:41.959 at least people, well many people, obviously not all, but 0:24:42.040 --> 0:24:45.639 many people feel that I have a lot of clarity 0:24:45.640 --> 0:24:48.280 in my thoughts. I do believe I do, and I 0:24:48.320 --> 0:24:51.119 think it's both a gift from God or nature. And 0:24:51.200 --> 0:24:53.920 I also believe that I learned it at the table 0:24:54.440 --> 0:24:57.359 at the dinner table in my house where I was 0:24:57.400 --> 0:25:00.880 the youngest of the two boys by six years, and 0:25:01.480 --> 0:25:06.520 they didn't care if I said something incoherent. They said, 0:25:06.600 --> 0:25:11.720 what are you talking about? That's nonsense? And so I got, 0:25:11.840 --> 0:25:15.639 at a very early age a voice in me saying, 0:25:15.720 --> 0:25:20.480 is that nonsense? Did you just say nonsense? So I could? 0:25:21.440 --> 0:25:23.720 I so understand what you said. I just want to 0:25:23.720 --> 0:25:27.760 return to Miriam's point on the dollar for making the bed. 0:25:28.720 --> 0:25:32.720 One possible response I would think is also in addition 0:25:32.760 --> 0:25:36.920 to yours, is because I want as you pointed out, 0:25:37.200 --> 0:25:43.200 the father the husband has only goodwill here. But one 0:25:43.280 --> 0:25:46.840 possibility is that I'll give you a dollar for making 0:25:46.880 --> 0:25:53.800 the bed, and you pay for the food. I'm obligated 0:25:53.840 --> 0:25:56.680 to feed you. You're obligated to make your bed. We'll 0:25:56.720 --> 0:25:59.920 get John Rosebud's response in a moment. 0:26:01.640 --> 0:26:03.440 Are you enjoying timeless wisdom? 0:26:03.640 --> 0:26:04.959 We'd love to hear from you. 0:26:04.960 --> 0:26:08.240 Call eight seven seven two four three seventy seven seventy 0:26:08.280 --> 0:26:11.159 six and leave a review, share your thoughts, or just 0:26:11.240 --> 0:26:14.720 even an encouraging word for Dennis. Your voicemail might just 0:26:14.760 --> 0:26:17.440 make it on the show. That's eight seven seven two 0:26:17.560 --> 0:26:21.520 four three seventy seven seventy six. That's eight seven seven 0:26:21.680 --> 0:26:26.159 two four three triple seven six. Thanks for listening and 0:26:26.480 --> 0:26:27.360 for your support. 0:26:27.880 --> 0:26:31.399 My guest is the terrific. John Rosemond, the family psychologist, 0:26:31.440 --> 0:26:38.080 gives these seminars around America and he as the latest 0:26:38.080 --> 0:26:41.800 prig University course up as your child getting enough Vitamin 0:26:42.040 --> 0:26:47.800 N that's the word. No. So I had raised the 0:26:47.920 --> 0:26:52.160 issue of perhaps saying, well, if we pay you for 0:26:52.240 --> 0:26:55.000 making your bed, you pay us for room and board, 0:26:56.040 --> 0:26:59.600 because as a way of explaining to the kid. Although 0:27:00.640 --> 0:27:03.800 from your perspective, and I agree with you in explanations 0:27:03.880 --> 0:27:07.440 I assume are not always necessary, this is what you do. 0:27:07.520 --> 0:27:10.720 You have a bed, make it. But nevertheless, it would 0:27:10.760 --> 0:27:16.080 be an interesting way of explaining I have obligations to you, 0:27:16.480 --> 0:27:20.600 and you have obligations to the family. Is that fair? 0:27:21.640 --> 0:27:27.320 Today's parents they lack confidence in the legitimacy of their authority, Dennis. 0:27:27.359 --> 0:27:31.400 That's why they don't feel that they have the right, 0:27:31.680 --> 0:27:34.120 if you will, to tell their children this is what 0:27:34.160 --> 0:27:38.679 you're going to do. And then when the child asks why, 0:27:40.080 --> 0:27:45.640 answer with because I said so, you don't need another explanation. 0:27:46.840 --> 0:27:50.960 You're on the dole here. I pay for your life. 0:27:52.200 --> 0:27:57.359 I am not obligated to justify any decision that I 0:27:57.480 --> 0:28:00.480 make in your life. I am not oblige gated to 0:28:00.720 --> 0:28:05.960 justify any instruction I give you. And you know, parents say, oh, 0:28:06.000 --> 0:28:10.600 that's mean, that's say you know, that's heartless. I say, 0:28:11.680 --> 0:28:14.800 it's very, very traditional. And the interesting thing is that 0:28:15.920 --> 0:28:21.080 the mental health of children who heard that our generation, Dennis, 0:28:21.400 --> 0:28:27.399