1 00:00:08,237 --> 00:00:09,657 Speaker 1: Life Audio. 2 00:00:11,196 --> 00:00:14,977 Speaker 2: This episode contains content that may be triggering for some listeners. 3 00:00:36,047 --> 00:00:39,047 Speaker 3: You'll also find the Jesus Listen Stories of Prayer series 4 00:00:39,367 --> 00:00:44,226 Speaker 3: hosted by Susie McIntyre Eaton, Jesus Calling podcast episodes, and 5 00:00:44,247 --> 00:00:47,846 Speaker 3: a scripture-based bonus series where experts walk us through specific 6 00:00:47,887 --> 00:00:51,517 Speaker 3: books of the Bible. Subscribe today for new videos each week. 7 00:00:54,817 --> 00:00:58,217 Speaker 2: On September 11, 2001, I was assigned to our New 8 00:00:58,237 --> 00:01:00,357 Speaker 2: York field office, and I was in my office, and 9 00:01:00,437 --> 00:01:03,357 Speaker 2: our office building was seven World Trade Centers. That first 10 00:01:03,417 --> 00:01:06,227 Speaker 2: plane hit with brutal precision. But little did we know 11 00:01:06,247 --> 00:01:07,007 Speaker 2: that was just the beginning. 12 00:01:08,737 --> 00:01:11,937 Speaker 4: Welcome to the Jesus Calling Podcast. This week, as the 13 00:01:11,977 --> 00:01:16,317 Speaker 4: country remembers the 25th anniversary of 9-11, we're talking with 14 00:01:16,357 --> 00:01:20,517 Speaker 4: Darren Kinder, a retired Secret Service agent who survived the 15 00:01:20,557 --> 00:01:23,897 Speaker 4: September 11th attacks and was later awarded a Medal of 16 00:01:23,937 --> 00:01:27,397 Speaker 4: Valor for his actions that day. Kinder recounts the chaos 17 00:01:27,437 --> 00:01:30,007 Speaker 4: of that morning, from treating the wounded on the street 18 00:01:30,397 --> 00:01:32,867 Speaker 4: to making the choice to go back into a collapsing 19 00:01:32,907 --> 00:01:36,477 Speaker 4: tower to help others get out. Later in the episode, 20 00:01:36,517 --> 00:01:40,417 Speaker 4: we feature Sam Eaton. After enduring years of severe depression, 21 00:01:40,777 --> 00:01:43,077 Speaker 4: the former music teacher had made plans to take his 22 00:01:43,157 --> 00:01:47,567 Speaker 4: own life on Christmas Day in 2011. However, a single 23 00:01:47,677 --> 00:01:51,387 Speaker 4: pivotal question intervened at the final second, steering him toward 24 00:01:51,447 --> 00:01:54,287 Speaker 4: a new direction and a mission to support others through 25 00:01:54,307 --> 00:01:58,087 Speaker 4: their own darkest trials. Let's begin with Darren's story. 26 00:02:02,537 --> 00:02:06,097 Speaker 2: My name is Darren Kinder. I'm a former Secret Service agent. 27 00:02:06,137 --> 00:02:09,517 Speaker 2: I retired not long ago after 25 years of service there. 28 00:02:10,157 --> 00:02:12,617 Speaker 2: I'm a survivor of the World Trade Center attack. I'm 29 00:02:13,437 --> 00:02:16,297 Speaker 2: a Medal of Valor recipient for my actions that day. 30 00:02:20,907 --> 00:02:24,367 Speaker 2: On September 11, 2001, I was assigned to our New 31 00:02:24,387 --> 00:02:26,507 Speaker 2: York field office and I was in my office and 32 00:02:26,567 --> 00:02:29,147 Speaker 2: our office building was seven World Trade Centers. That was 33 00:02:29,607 --> 00:02:32,577 Speaker 2: part of the World Trade Center complex and We had 34 00:02:32,657 --> 00:02:34,777 Speaker 2: just finished working out, a group of us, and we 35 00:02:34,797 --> 00:02:37,137 Speaker 2: were in the gym, in the locker room, getting dressed, 36 00:02:37,177 --> 00:02:40,077 Speaker 2: putting on clean suits for a long day. And we 37 00:02:40,097 --> 00:02:42,857 Speaker 2: were told to evacuate immediately. And at that point, we 38 00:02:42,897 --> 00:02:44,677 Speaker 2: didn't know what was going on. But the moment I 39 00:02:44,717 --> 00:02:47,347 Speaker 2: dumped out into the street and looked up, I was 40 00:02:47,347 --> 00:02:50,067 Speaker 2: 20 yards or so across the street from the north 41 00:02:50,107 --> 00:02:53,107 Speaker 2: side of the North Tower. And that's the first tower 42 00:02:53,127 --> 00:02:55,246 Speaker 2: that was hit. And I looked up and saw flames 43 00:02:55,327 --> 00:02:58,987 Speaker 2: just spewing and pouring out of the building. And I 44 00:02:59,027 --> 00:03:02,716 Speaker 2: didn't know what it was. I didn't know exactly all 45 00:03:02,757 --> 00:03:05,517 Speaker 2: that had gone on, but I knew that wasn't a mistake, 46 00:03:05,557 --> 00:03:09,067 Speaker 2: that wasn't an accident. That first plane hit with brutal precision, 47 00:03:09,547 --> 00:03:11,167 Speaker 2: but little did we know that was just the beginning. 48 00:03:13,807 --> 00:03:15,987 Speaker 2: We went into first responder mode, and we grabbed our 49 00:03:16,007 --> 00:03:18,507 Speaker 2: first aid kits and everything that we had, and we 50 00:03:18,547 --> 00:03:20,807 Speaker 2: just ran as a group, about 30 of us, to 51 00:03:20,827 --> 00:03:23,387 Speaker 2: an area where there was a bunch of ambulances treating patients, 52 00:03:23,887 --> 00:03:28,657 Speaker 2: and we just started treating the wounded. After our evacuation 53 00:03:29,237 --> 00:03:32,467 Speaker 2: and subsequent preparations, rendering medical aid and care on the 54 00:03:32,487 --> 00:03:36,147 Speaker 2: West Side Highway there after the second plane impacted. That's 55 00:03:36,167 --> 00:03:39,527 Speaker 2: when myself and two other co-workers, colleagues, entered into the 56 00:03:39,567 --> 00:03:43,037 Speaker 2: North Tower, Tower One, to try to help people escape. 57 00:03:48,477 --> 00:03:52,157 Speaker 2: Moments before the impact of the second plane, as that 58 00:03:52,197 --> 00:03:55,657 Speaker 2: plane came screeching over my head, slammed into the South Tower. 59 00:03:55,697 --> 00:03:57,927 Speaker 2: I was about 80 yards from the base of that tower. 60 00:03:58,747 --> 00:04:00,767 Speaker 2: And I could feel the heat on the back of 61 00:04:00,827 --> 00:04:05,747 Speaker 2: my neck. Debris falling everywhere, raining jet fuel that's burning. 62 00:04:06,587 --> 00:04:08,727 Speaker 2: And we all just at that point scattered like ants. 63 00:04:09,777 --> 00:04:12,977 Speaker 2: And at that point, myself and two other agents decided 64 00:04:13,017 --> 00:04:15,517 Speaker 2: to enter into the North Tower to help people get out. 65 00:04:15,557 --> 00:04:18,236 Speaker 2: And as we went into the North Tower, we found 66 00:04:18,296 --> 00:04:22,177 Speaker 2: a stairwell that people were evacuating out of. And we 67 00:04:22,197 --> 00:04:25,207 Speaker 2: just went up. We entered in and got up to 68 00:04:25,246 --> 00:04:28,396 Speaker 2: about the 10th floor of the North Tower, Tower 1. 69 00:04:28,397 --> 00:04:31,296 Speaker 2: And we encountered a woman who was, she could no 70 00:04:31,337 --> 00:04:34,616 Speaker 2: longer evacuate herself. She was exhausted. And I carried her 71 00:04:34,657 --> 00:04:36,377 Speaker 2: down with the help of another man. And I told 72 00:04:36,397 --> 00:04:38,136 Speaker 2: the other two agents I was with that I would 73 00:04:38,337 --> 00:04:40,577 Speaker 2: see them at their next point of need. And I 74 00:04:40,616 --> 00:04:43,756 Speaker 2: carried her down and then decided when I got to 75 00:04:43,777 --> 00:04:46,256 Speaker 2: the bottom, as I handed her off to some paramedics, 76 00:04:46,837 --> 00:04:49,337 Speaker 2: that I needed to go back up. Because at that point, 77 00:04:49,736 --> 00:04:52,937 Speaker 2: I was unsteady. I was timid a little bit. I 78 00:04:53,056 --> 00:04:55,616 Speaker 2: was even a little afraid. I was unsure. And that's 79 00:04:55,657 --> 00:04:57,706 Speaker 2: because that was the first time that day I was alone. 80 00:04:58,796 --> 00:05:02,217 Speaker 2: And I needed to be with my brothers. And I 81 00:05:02,517 --> 00:05:05,996 Speaker 2: went back up. And I got to about the 30th 82 00:05:06,056 --> 00:05:08,976 Speaker 2: floor of the North Tower. And that's when I encountered 83 00:05:09,077 --> 00:05:12,027 Speaker 2: a large group of New York City firefighters. And I 84 00:05:12,056 --> 00:05:14,827 Speaker 2: had a brief conversation with them. And I was not 85 00:05:14,907 --> 00:05:17,707 Speaker 2: able to find my other colleagues, the two other agents 86 00:05:17,746 --> 00:05:20,247 Speaker 2: that I had been with. And I decided at that 87 00:05:20,306 --> 00:05:22,467 Speaker 2: point to go back down and look for my friends, 88 00:05:22,507 --> 00:05:25,086 Speaker 2: look for my colleagues. And at that point, I heard 89 00:05:25,686 --> 00:05:29,697 Speaker 2: the firefighter commander say something like this. Get your gear together, boys. 90 00:05:29,736 --> 00:05:33,707 Speaker 2: We're going back up. And I will forever honor the 91 00:05:33,726 --> 00:05:36,507 Speaker 2: firefighting community, the first responder community, when I tell this 92 00:05:36,527 --> 00:05:39,647 Speaker 2: story because I didn't know all the circumstances. I was 93 00:05:39,707 --> 00:05:42,626 Speaker 2: still kind of ignorant. I was blind to all the facts. 94 00:05:43,267 --> 00:05:45,697 Speaker 2: They knew the threat. They knew the cost. And those 95 00:05:45,736 --> 00:05:48,877 Speaker 2: men and women went up anyways. And I have no 96 00:05:48,957 --> 00:05:51,797 Speaker 2: way of knowing for sure, but I can only assume 97 00:05:51,816 --> 00:05:55,436 Speaker 2: that they're part of the 343 New York City firefighters 98 00:05:55,476 --> 00:05:58,856 Speaker 2: who died that day. Answering the bell, answering the call, 99 00:05:59,616 --> 00:06:01,897 Speaker 2: running to the threat so that others may live. They 100 00:06:01,936 --> 00:06:05,376 Speaker 2: embrace the embodiment of what we all must as ambassadors 101 00:06:05,416 --> 00:06:09,396 Speaker 2: of Christ, as witnesses for Christ. We do that work 102 00:06:09,457 --> 00:06:11,616 Speaker 2: so that others may live in Christ. And they were 103 00:06:11,657 --> 00:06:17,427 Speaker 2: doing it that day when they went back up. I 104 00:06:17,467 --> 00:06:20,267 Speaker 2: was standing outside the complex. When I looked up, I 105 00:06:20,306 --> 00:06:21,887 Speaker 2: heard a noise. I looked up and I saw the 106 00:06:21,926 --> 00:06:25,507 Speaker 2: top of Tower 2 buckle and begin to collapse. And 107 00:06:25,566 --> 00:06:28,306 Speaker 2: I was, gosh, shocked. 100 yards or less from the 108 00:06:28,327 --> 00:06:31,986 Speaker 2: base of that tower. And here comes a 110-floor building 109 00:06:32,467 --> 00:06:34,087 Speaker 2: on top of your head. And I thought I was dead. 110 00:06:35,166 --> 00:06:36,707 Speaker 2: The Holy Spirit told me to run. And so I 111 00:06:36,746 --> 00:06:40,007 Speaker 2: started running. And as I was running, each floor was 112 00:06:40,066 --> 00:06:42,627 Speaker 2: pancaking on the next. And that was like a concussion, 113 00:06:42,686 --> 00:06:45,986 Speaker 2: a thunderclap. And each one's getting louder and closer. And 114 00:06:46,467 --> 00:06:48,307 Speaker 2: at that point, I heard the roar, the roar of 115 00:06:48,327 --> 00:06:51,726 Speaker 2: that huge storm debris cloud coming my way. And I 116 00:06:51,767 --> 00:06:54,926 Speaker 2: tried to outrun it. Large chunks of debris started to 117 00:06:54,967 --> 00:06:57,517 Speaker 2: fall all around me. And just as that started happening, 118 00:06:57,757 --> 00:07:00,726 Speaker 2: that beautiful crystal clear blue day went to a dark 119 00:07:00,767 --> 00:07:04,426 Speaker 2: night of horrors, honestly. My eyes, my lungs, everything was 120 00:07:04,507 --> 00:07:08,407 Speaker 2: filled with pulverized concrete and other materials. And I was 121 00:07:08,467 --> 00:07:11,187 Speaker 2: still sprinting and running because large chunks of debris were 122 00:07:11,207 --> 00:07:13,727 Speaker 2: still falling all around me. And after I got a 123 00:07:13,767 --> 00:07:16,387 Speaker 2: few more seconds, I was out of that kill zone, 124 00:07:16,407 --> 00:07:19,597 Speaker 2: but I'm still in the blackness. And I see sunlight 125 00:07:19,637 --> 00:07:22,117 Speaker 2: out of the corner of my eye. And I run 126 00:07:22,157 --> 00:07:24,717 Speaker 2: across the street. I stagger across the street to the 127 00:07:24,797 --> 00:07:27,417 Speaker 2: sunlight and I And I'm looking north up an alley 128 00:07:27,816 --> 00:07:29,457 Speaker 2: and I see that there's sunlight that way. And my 129 00:07:29,517 --> 00:07:31,657 Speaker 2: first thought was, sweet, let's get out of here. Let's 130 00:07:31,697 --> 00:07:37,067 Speaker 2: go to the light. But I stopped because that blanket, 131 00:07:37,127 --> 00:07:42,006 Speaker 2: that suffocating debris cloud, it just suffocated all noise except 132 00:07:42,027 --> 00:07:45,147 Speaker 2: for the screams, the cries of people in the darkness. 133 00:07:46,407 --> 00:07:48,247 Speaker 2: And they were just yelling things like, I can't see 134 00:07:48,327 --> 00:07:51,576 Speaker 2: somebody help me. I need help. Someone come here. Where 135 00:07:51,697 --> 00:07:54,937 Speaker 2: am I? I'm lost. All these cries out into the darkness. 136 00:07:54,977 --> 00:07:56,997 Speaker 2: And so I stood there. I stood there in the 137 00:07:57,037 --> 00:07:58,877 Speaker 2: mouth of the alley with the sunlight behind me. And 138 00:07:58,917 --> 00:08:01,437 Speaker 2: I just shouted at the top of my lungs, follow 139 00:08:01,457 --> 00:08:03,937 Speaker 2: the sound of my voice. There is light this way. 140 00:08:04,637 --> 00:08:06,517 Speaker 2: Follow the sound of my voice. Come this way to 141 00:08:06,537 --> 00:08:08,717 Speaker 2: the light. And about 10 to 15 people made their 142 00:08:08,757 --> 00:08:11,537 Speaker 2: way to me over time. And I would send them 143 00:08:11,597 --> 00:08:13,917 Speaker 2: up the alley and shoot them up to the light. 144 00:08:14,777 --> 00:08:17,997 Speaker 2: Is that not the perfect spiritual metaphor for how we 145 00:08:18,037 --> 00:08:20,456 Speaker 2: are called to live in this dark world today? We 146 00:08:20,557 --> 00:08:22,937 Speaker 2: are called to be that man, that woman standing in 147 00:08:22,977 --> 00:08:25,857 Speaker 2: the alley, pointing people to the light of life. Those 148 00:08:25,877 --> 00:08:27,757 Speaker 2: who follow me will not walk in darkness, but will 149 00:08:27,797 --> 00:08:30,857 Speaker 2: have the light of life, said Jesus. And that's our 150 00:08:30,897 --> 00:08:34,857 Speaker 2: mission as witnesses of Christ, as ambassadors representing Christ, to 151 00:08:34,877 --> 00:08:36,717 Speaker 2: be the man, to be the woman standing in the alley, 152 00:08:36,777 --> 00:08:39,537 Speaker 2: pointing people to the light of the world. And I 153 00:08:40,077 --> 00:08:43,107 Speaker 2: wasn't thinking that at the time, but as I reflected 154 00:08:43,167 --> 00:08:45,607 Speaker 2: on that time later, I decided that's what I was 155 00:08:45,627 --> 00:08:46,947 Speaker 2: going to spend the rest of my days on this 156 00:08:47,007 --> 00:08:55,727 Speaker 2: earth doing. I've heard it said sometimes God creates miracles, 157 00:08:56,287 --> 00:08:58,547 Speaker 2: but most of the time he creates people. He creates 158 00:08:58,587 --> 00:09:02,347 Speaker 2: his followers to address the hurt, the pain, the suffering 159 00:09:02,807 --> 00:09:05,187 Speaker 2: in this world. And so I like to say that 160 00:09:05,207 --> 00:09:07,037 Speaker 2: this world is full of problems and you and I 161 00:09:07,877 --> 00:09:09,697 Speaker 2: were created to be part of the solution for at 162 00:09:09,717 --> 00:09:12,457 Speaker 2: least one. So what does that look like and how 163 00:09:12,477 --> 00:09:14,417 Speaker 2: do you discern that and how do you follow the 164 00:09:14,457 --> 00:09:16,877 Speaker 2: will of God so that you can be used for 165 00:09:16,917 --> 00:09:19,207 Speaker 2: his glory and your joy? At the end of the day, 166 00:09:19,287 --> 00:09:22,757 Speaker 2: on September 11th, I was rendezvousing with all of my 167 00:09:22,817 --> 00:09:25,487 Speaker 2: other coworkers. There was four of us. We had served 168 00:09:26,087 --> 00:09:29,497 Speaker 2: and fought together as a team all day. we finally 169 00:09:29,537 --> 00:09:32,377 Speaker 2: found out where everyone else was rendezvousing. And we went 170 00:09:32,437 --> 00:09:35,617 Speaker 2: up about 30 blocks north and we entered this large 171 00:09:35,697 --> 00:09:37,557 Speaker 2: room and the four of us were beaten and bloodied 172 00:09:37,597 --> 00:09:40,717 Speaker 2: and destroyed. We had been rendering aid and carrying people 173 00:09:40,787 --> 00:09:43,287 Speaker 2: and we had been fighting fires with fire equipment and 174 00:09:43,607 --> 00:09:46,327 Speaker 2: all kinds of crazy things. And my pants were like 175 00:09:46,347 --> 00:09:47,927 Speaker 2: three inches shorter at the end of the day because 176 00:09:47,947 --> 00:09:50,627 Speaker 2: they kept catching fire. The soles of my shoes were 177 00:09:50,667 --> 00:09:54,037 Speaker 2: malformed and melted from the heat. And we just looked 178 00:09:54,097 --> 00:09:56,817 Speaker 2: haggard and horrible and There's a large group of coworkers 179 00:09:56,857 --> 00:09:58,697 Speaker 2: and colleagues, and they look just like we did. They 180 00:09:58,717 --> 00:10:00,357 Speaker 2: had answered the bell. They had been in the fight. 181 00:10:00,817 --> 00:10:02,727 Speaker 2: I want to encourage people to get outside of the 182 00:10:03,047 --> 00:10:06,447 Speaker 2: walls of their church and engage humanely. engage the problem, 183 00:10:06,487 --> 00:10:08,927 Speaker 2: bring the love of Christ, bring the light of Christ 184 00:10:09,067 --> 00:10:11,707 Speaker 2: into the dark places. You don't enter a dark room, 185 00:10:11,777 --> 00:10:14,197 Speaker 2: open the window and kind of shovel the darkness out. No, no, no. 186 00:10:14,437 --> 00:10:17,097 Speaker 2: You got to bring in the light. And so what 187 00:10:17,157 --> 00:10:19,637 Speaker 2: is it? What is that arena for you? There's just 188 00:10:19,717 --> 00:10:22,837 Speaker 2: so many arenas out there that are waiting for their 189 00:10:22,877 --> 00:10:26,537 Speaker 2: gladiator just to show up. Enter the arena, shoulder to 190 00:10:26,597 --> 00:10:30,657 Speaker 2: shoulder with brothers and sisters, like-minded people that bring skills 191 00:10:30,697 --> 00:10:33,467 Speaker 2: and talents and abilities that you don't have. There's no 192 00:10:33,507 --> 00:10:37,127 Speaker 2: better place to get your suit dirty. I was sitting 193 00:10:37,167 --> 00:10:42,407 Speaker 2: on my sofa on September 12th, the next day. And 194 00:10:43,027 --> 00:10:47,247 Speaker 2: as I'm processing this, I'm grieving with my wife and 195 00:10:47,527 --> 00:10:50,947 Speaker 2: we're praying. And I made an admission to the Lord 196 00:10:50,987 --> 00:10:53,747 Speaker 2: that I shouldn't be here. I said, I fully understand. 197 00:10:54,337 --> 00:10:56,537 Speaker 2: that you could have taken me at least three times 198 00:10:57,057 --> 00:10:59,797 Speaker 2: the day before. And so I made a promise that 199 00:10:59,837 --> 00:11:01,317 Speaker 2: I was going to spend the rest of my days 200 00:11:01,917 --> 00:11:05,037 Speaker 2: serving His purposes. And He started to put on me 201 00:11:05,097 --> 00:11:08,857 Speaker 2: a heart for men's ministry, for discipling and educating men 202 00:11:09,297 --> 00:11:12,677 Speaker 2: and raising them up and equipping them to live lives 203 00:11:12,737 --> 00:11:15,837 Speaker 2: of courage and integrity. And He gave me four sons 204 00:11:16,097 --> 00:11:20,847 Speaker 2: along the way, starting in 2006. And That was tremendous. 205 00:11:20,867 --> 00:11:24,607 Speaker 2: And so now, yes, 25 years later, after that day, 206 00:11:24,627 --> 00:11:28,227 Speaker 2: I have this ministry, Fierce Faith, that encourages and equips 207 00:11:28,287 --> 00:11:33,117 Speaker 2: men to live lives of bold courage, pursue the God-given purpose, 208 00:11:33,737 --> 00:11:36,217 Speaker 2: the purpose that He has placed upon them, the reason 209 00:11:36,257 --> 00:11:38,637 Speaker 2: He created them for this time and this place in 210 00:11:38,697 --> 00:11:41,397 Speaker 2: this world. And that's what we're doing at Fierce Faith 211 00:11:41,877 --> 00:11:45,157 Speaker 2: and raising four sons, sending them out into the world. 212 00:11:45,997 --> 00:11:49,217 Speaker 2: It can be a dark place. And so, Jesus Calling 213 00:11:49,497 --> 00:11:53,327 Speaker 2: and other devotional type books, I love them because they 214 00:11:53,347 --> 00:11:56,647 Speaker 2: can be conversational starters around the breakfast table or around 215 00:11:56,687 --> 00:11:59,307 Speaker 2: the dinner table, which is great. And that's how my 216 00:11:59,347 --> 00:12:03,157 Speaker 2: wife uses them in our house. I use them more for, hey, 217 00:12:03,187 --> 00:12:06,137 Speaker 2: let's get a nugget. Let's get an arrow of God's truth. 218 00:12:06,757 --> 00:12:08,937 Speaker 2: Open it up to any day in the devotional because 219 00:12:08,977 --> 00:12:10,717 Speaker 2: my wife likes to go through it. I'm more random. 220 00:12:11,597 --> 00:12:13,337 Speaker 2: And open it up and say, what's the truth here? 221 00:12:13,737 --> 00:12:17,837 Speaker 2: What truth about God, about Jesus, about faith, Is this scripture, 222 00:12:17,877 --> 00:12:20,717 Speaker 2: is this passion speaking to? And now take that out 223 00:12:21,037 --> 00:12:22,877 Speaker 2: with you as you leave this door and go out 224 00:12:22,917 --> 00:12:26,756 Speaker 2: into the world, arming yourself with the truth. So that's 225 00:12:26,777 --> 00:12:29,237 Speaker 2: why I love Jesus Calling. And today when I pray, 226 00:12:29,257 --> 00:12:33,807 Speaker 2: I focus out loud on the promises of God. His 227 00:12:33,967 --> 00:12:36,887 Speaker 2: book is just full of one promise after another. All 228 00:12:36,947 --> 00:12:41,107 Speaker 2: His promises are true. Now that I've recently retired, I'm 229 00:12:41,127 --> 00:12:44,317 Speaker 2: in a new world. I'm swimming in new waters. Now 230 00:12:44,377 --> 00:12:47,197 Speaker 2: my prayer is, okay, Lord, I'm here. I'm here because 231 00:12:47,237 --> 00:12:49,757 Speaker 2: I feel like you called me here. What's next? What's 232 00:12:49,797 --> 00:12:51,537 Speaker 2: the next little thing you want me to knock down? 233 00:12:51,607 --> 00:12:54,107 Speaker 2: What's the next thing you want me to address? What's 234 00:12:54,147 --> 00:12:56,767 Speaker 2: the next stronghold you want me to bust? And if 235 00:12:56,807 --> 00:12:58,707 Speaker 2: you want me to bust this stronghold, how am I 236 00:12:58,747 --> 00:13:00,447 Speaker 2: going to do it? Give me the power. Give me 237 00:13:00,467 --> 00:13:03,447 Speaker 2: the wisdom. Give me the discernment to be used by you. 238 00:13:03,487 --> 00:13:06,707 Speaker 2: And so although many would say my 25 years in 239 00:13:06,727 --> 00:13:11,747 Speaker 2: the Secret Service was navigating high-risk environments in a threatening world, 240 00:13:11,847 --> 00:13:14,227 Speaker 2: and that was true, this new world feels a lot 241 00:13:14,247 --> 00:13:17,197 Speaker 2: scarier to me. And so I'm also praying for courage, 242 00:13:17,497 --> 00:13:20,437 Speaker 2: for boldness, to be a man that walks the walk, 243 00:13:20,497 --> 00:13:21,517 Speaker 2: not just talks the talk. 244 00:13:23,997 --> 00:13:28,177 Speaker 4: To learn more about Darren Kinder, visit DarrenKinder.com and be 245 00:13:28,237 --> 00:13:30,407 Speaker 4: sure to check out his new book, Bury Me in 246 00:13:30,417 --> 00:13:34,487 Speaker 4: a Dirty Suit, Discovering Man's Valiant Purpose in the Aftermath 247 00:13:34,707 --> 00:13:38,847 Speaker 4: of 9-11 at your favorite retailer. Stay tuned to Sam 248 00:13:38,947 --> 00:13:48,457 Speaker 4: Eaton's story after a brief message. These uncertain times bring 249 00:13:48,537 --> 00:13:52,057 Speaker 4: anxiety and fear, but Jesus Listens Prayers for Every Season 250 00:13:52,377 --> 00:13:56,677 Speaker 4: gives you daily prayers of comfort. With seasonally inspired illustrations, 251 00:13:56,957 --> 00:14:00,367 Speaker 4: this beautiful book includes prayers that speak to your situation, 252 00:14:00,927 --> 00:14:04,167 Speaker 4: whether it's a time of stress or strength. Look for 253 00:14:04,227 --> 00:14:07,667 Speaker 4: Jesus Listens Prayers for Every Season wherever you buy books. 254 00:14:15,247 --> 00:14:18,277 Speaker 4: Our next guest is Sam Eaton. a former music teacher 255 00:14:18,427 --> 00:14:21,297 Speaker 4: who once planned his own death on Christmas Day and 256 00:14:21,337 --> 00:14:24,297 Speaker 4: instead chose to stay and to spend the years since 257 00:14:24,627 --> 00:14:26,927 Speaker 4: helping others find a way through their darkest moments. 258 00:14:28,387 --> 00:14:30,907 Speaker 1: My name is Sam Eaton. I'm an author, speaker, and 259 00:14:30,967 --> 00:14:33,497 Speaker 1: founder of Recklessly Alive. And the work I do is 260 00:14:33,517 --> 00:14:37,497 Speaker 1: really focused on helping people who've lost hope and who 261 00:14:37,537 --> 00:14:40,137 Speaker 1: feel like maybe life isn't worth living. I've had some 262 00:14:40,217 --> 00:14:44,487 Speaker 1: deep struggles with depression and suicidal ideation. And out of 263 00:14:44,547 --> 00:14:46,727 Speaker 1: those struggles, there's just always been something in me that 264 00:14:46,767 --> 00:14:49,447 Speaker 1: wants to help, that wants to love people, that wants 265 00:14:49,507 --> 00:14:52,947 Speaker 1: to reach back into the hardest parts of my story 266 00:14:53,087 --> 00:15:01,707 Speaker 1: and help somebody who is where I was. I grew 267 00:15:01,747 --> 00:15:04,307 Speaker 1: up with an alcoholic father who, as a result of 268 00:15:04,357 --> 00:15:07,057 Speaker 1: that disease, just caused a lot of pain in my life. 269 00:15:07,697 --> 00:15:09,617 Speaker 1: Coming home from school, I didn't know if it was 270 00:15:09,657 --> 00:15:12,137 Speaker 1: going to be a laughy-jokey kind of a drunk day 271 00:15:12,297 --> 00:15:15,357 Speaker 1: or a chair-throwing day. And it created in me this 272 00:15:15,437 --> 00:15:17,917 Speaker 1: kid that was just really afraid of the world. My 273 00:15:17,957 --> 00:15:21,057 Speaker 1: kindergarten teacher actually recommended that my mom hold me back 274 00:15:21,117 --> 00:15:22,677 Speaker 1: for a year because I used to hide under the 275 00:15:22,717 --> 00:15:27,317 Speaker 1: table in kindergarten. And I was very timid and afraid 276 00:15:27,537 --> 00:15:30,367 Speaker 1: of everything, afraid to live, afraid to try. One of 277 00:15:30,387 --> 00:15:32,207 Speaker 1: the gifts he did give me was he would take 278 00:15:32,247 --> 00:15:34,487 Speaker 1: me and my sister to Sunday school if we asked him. 279 00:15:34,667 --> 00:15:37,447 Speaker 1: And so church became this really safe place amid the 280 00:15:37,487 --> 00:15:41,467 Speaker 1: storm outside. It was this place that felt calm and peaceful. 281 00:15:41,527 --> 00:15:43,897 Speaker 1: The people there were a bit different than the people 282 00:15:43,947 --> 00:15:48,057 Speaker 1: I was used to encountering. I didn't really know God 283 00:15:48,377 --> 00:15:50,637 Speaker 1: or even know if I believed in Him then. There 284 00:15:50,677 --> 00:15:53,337 Speaker 1: was just a warmth and a love that I felt 285 00:15:53,417 --> 00:15:56,517 Speaker 1: from a place like that, even in those hardest parts. 286 00:15:57,317 --> 00:15:59,437 Speaker 1: My dad left when I was 12. I haven't seen 287 00:15:59,477 --> 00:16:01,497 Speaker 1: him since. I haven't had a relationship with him. He 288 00:16:01,997 --> 00:16:04,577 Speaker 1: had been having an affair. He was a part of 289 00:16:04,647 --> 00:16:07,947 Speaker 1: a murder investigation. There was just lots of financial trauma 290 00:16:07,987 --> 00:16:11,147 Speaker 1: for us, a lot of emotional trauma. But on the outside, 291 00:16:11,167 --> 00:16:12,947 Speaker 1: I was doing fine. Like none of my teachers really 292 00:16:13,007 --> 00:16:15,127 Speaker 1: knew what I was going through. Even in middle school, 293 00:16:15,187 --> 00:16:17,577 Speaker 1: I had straight A's. I was on the basketball team. 294 00:16:18,297 --> 00:16:20,317 Speaker 1: And I really felt like, oh, I have to hold 295 00:16:20,357 --> 00:16:21,117 Speaker 1: this together for. 296 00:16:21,017 --> 00:16:21,857 Speaker 2: My mom and my sister. 297 00:16:21,917 --> 00:16:23,397 Speaker 1: I have to be the one who kind of get 298 00:16:23,457 --> 00:16:25,697 Speaker 1: us through this storm. But when I got to high school, 299 00:16:25,717 --> 00:16:28,197 Speaker 1: things really fell apart. For the first time in my life, 300 00:16:28,267 --> 00:16:31,247 Speaker 1: I couldn't concentrate or focus. I started writing on my 301 00:16:31,287 --> 00:16:34,007 Speaker 1: math papers. I hate my life. Suddenly, I found myself 302 00:16:34,067 --> 00:16:36,367 Speaker 1: at night thinking, you know, maybe I shouldn't have been born. 303 00:16:36,427 --> 00:16:39,607 Speaker 1: Maybe I was a mistake. Maybe I should have never existed. 304 00:16:39,687 --> 00:16:41,987 Speaker 1: And those are thoughts that I've had to work on 305 00:16:42,047 --> 00:16:45,307 Speaker 1: and challenge even through my adult life and thoughts that 306 00:16:45,527 --> 00:16:48,427 Speaker 1: a lot of people, regardless of if they've shared, will 307 00:16:48,467 --> 00:16:50,627 Speaker 1: say that they've experienced at some part. You know, sometimes 308 00:16:50,667 --> 00:16:52,207 Speaker 1: in the church world, we say, oh, I'm just waiting 309 00:16:52,227 --> 00:16:54,207 Speaker 1: for God to take me home or whatever. But we 310 00:16:54,247 --> 00:16:56,647 Speaker 1: have all these little ways of saying like, oh, man, 311 00:16:57,047 --> 00:16:58,867 Speaker 1: I'm ready for this to be over. And they were 312 00:16:58,927 --> 00:17:02,287 Speaker 1: so loud and so intense. But nobody told me what 313 00:17:02,307 --> 00:17:04,997 Speaker 1: I was experiencing has a name and it's called depression. 314 00:17:05,017 --> 00:17:08,357 Speaker 1: It's a common and serious medical illness, especially in the church. 315 00:17:08,936 --> 00:17:11,417 Speaker 1: Nobody ever talked to me about depression and suicide until 316 00:17:11,917 --> 00:17:15,497 Speaker 1: I was the one encouraging the church to have these conversations. 317 00:17:20,207 --> 00:17:24,007 Speaker 1: I had this really pivotal moment in November 2011. My 318 00:17:24,077 --> 00:17:26,696 Speaker 1: life had really hit rock bottom. I was in my 319 00:17:26,757 --> 00:17:30,777 Speaker 1: first year of teaching. I graduated college with over $ 90, 000 320 00:17:30,677 --> 00:17:33,397 Speaker 1: of student loan debt. I didn't understand the world of college. 321 00:17:33,457 --> 00:17:35,077 Speaker 1: I was the first person in my family to go 322 00:17:35,117 --> 00:17:37,837 Speaker 1: to college. And I felt so stupid and ashamed that 323 00:17:37,997 --> 00:17:40,237 Speaker 1: I had made that choice and that I didn't understand 324 00:17:40,257 --> 00:17:43,037 Speaker 1: what that would look like, especially as a new teacher 325 00:17:43,117 --> 00:17:46,957 Speaker 1: making $ 30, 000 a year. I'd ended a really important relationship 326 00:17:46,977 --> 00:17:49,007 Speaker 1: that I had in college, someone who just meant the 327 00:17:49,027 --> 00:17:51,186 Speaker 1: world to me. But even then I knew in my 328 00:17:51,227 --> 00:17:53,446 Speaker 1: mental health, I felt like I wasn't good enough for her, 329 00:17:53,487 --> 00:17:55,486 Speaker 1: that I couldn't give her the life that she wanted. 330 00:17:55,567 --> 00:17:58,147 Speaker 1: And then I watched her very quickly fall in love 331 00:17:58,167 --> 00:18:00,847 Speaker 1: with somebody else and marry somebody else, which really hit 332 00:18:01,287 --> 00:18:05,167 Speaker 1: the core deep feelings that I wasn't worthy of someone else, 333 00:18:05,607 --> 00:18:09,266 Speaker 1: of a healthy relationship. I'd moved back home where some 334 00:18:09,287 --> 00:18:11,287 Speaker 1: of the most traumatic moments in my life had happened. 335 00:18:11,327 --> 00:18:13,727 Speaker 1: And I hadn't been to therapy or done any work 336 00:18:13,807 --> 00:18:17,347 Speaker 1: around letting some of that stuff go. And so that 337 00:18:17,407 --> 00:18:19,927 Speaker 1: was kind of rising back up in me. I started 338 00:18:20,007 --> 00:18:22,977 Speaker 1: drinking a lot to cope with that. And I truly 339 00:18:23,017 --> 00:18:25,557 Speaker 1: kind of craved some of those moments of forgetting. 340 00:18:25,237 --> 00:18:25,837 Speaker 2: Who I was. 341 00:18:26,337 --> 00:18:28,697 Speaker 1: But of course, now I know how much worse that 342 00:18:28,737 --> 00:18:31,857 Speaker 1: made it, how much that worsens anxiety and depression. But 343 00:18:31,877 --> 00:18:34,377 Speaker 1: this kind of perfect storm led to this moment in 344 00:18:34,437 --> 00:18:36,456 Speaker 1: November of that year. I was driving around in my 345 00:18:36,497 --> 00:18:39,197 Speaker 1: car and I was just screaming at God. I was 346 00:18:39,217 --> 00:18:43,267 Speaker 1: just so angry and crying and And so mad because 347 00:18:43,407 --> 00:18:45,807 Speaker 1: so much of the messaging I had heard in my 348 00:18:45,927 --> 00:18:49,467 Speaker 1: Christian journey was, you know, God has great plans for 349 00:18:49,547 --> 00:18:51,767 Speaker 1: your life. You know, we hear that so often. And 350 00:18:52,067 --> 00:18:55,527 Speaker 1: of course, I believe that. But in moments of extreme pain, 351 00:18:55,607 --> 00:18:58,907 Speaker 1: when you can't see hope, I was like, oh, God, wow, 352 00:18:58,967 --> 00:19:01,627 Speaker 1: you must really hate me. If this is the great 353 00:19:01,687 --> 00:19:03,667 Speaker 1: plans that you had for your life, so much pain 354 00:19:03,707 --> 00:19:05,697 Speaker 1: that I'm not even sure I want to be alive. 355 00:19:06,237 --> 00:19:07,997 Speaker 1: How can you be a good God? How can this 356 00:19:08,277 --> 00:19:11,777 Speaker 1: be it? And with that, we're experiencing suicidal thoughts. Our 357 00:19:11,797 --> 00:19:14,377 Speaker 1: brain is sick. They've actually done brain scans and parts 358 00:19:14,417 --> 00:19:15,837 Speaker 1: of your brain aren't lighting. 359 00:19:15,617 --> 00:19:16,557 Speaker 2: Up the way that they should. 360 00:19:16,957 --> 00:19:19,187 Speaker 1: So it's a multitude of things. It's like you don't 361 00:19:19,307 --> 00:19:21,167 Speaker 1: feel the hope and the love of your family and 362 00:19:21,227 --> 00:19:24,107 Speaker 1: friends because your brain is sick. And on top of that, 363 00:19:24,627 --> 00:19:26,847 Speaker 1: I was resisting a lot of the things that were 364 00:19:26,927 --> 00:19:29,967 Speaker 1: good or that could have helped me. And I didn't 365 00:19:30,007 --> 00:19:32,387 Speaker 1: have the strength or the courage to open up about it. 366 00:19:32,437 --> 00:19:33,377 Speaker 2: I kept it really simple. 367 00:19:33,837 --> 00:19:36,557 Speaker 1: Internal. And so as I'm driving through that car and 368 00:19:36,577 --> 00:19:40,737 Speaker 1: I'm crying and I'm thinking about when or if or how, 369 00:19:41,297 --> 00:19:45,097 Speaker 1: finally I just, I gave a dangerous ultimatum. I said, God, 370 00:19:45,177 --> 00:19:47,467 Speaker 1: on December 25th, I'm either going to end my life 371 00:19:47,527 --> 00:19:49,387 Speaker 1: or I'm never going to think about this again. At 372 00:19:50,147 --> 00:19:53,387 Speaker 1: that point, I'd been living already 10 years almost in 373 00:19:53,427 --> 00:19:55,427 Speaker 1: that amount of pain. I just said, I can't do 374 00:19:55,467 --> 00:19:58,456 Speaker 1: this for another 50 years. So I wrote that in 375 00:19:58,497 --> 00:20:00,617 Speaker 1: a journal. I went home and I spent most of 376 00:20:00,657 --> 00:20:03,537 Speaker 1: that next month. Not always every day thinking I was 377 00:20:03,817 --> 00:20:06,017 Speaker 1: absolutely going to do this. You know, we hear a 378 00:20:06,077 --> 00:20:09,527 Speaker 1: lot about the selfishness of suicide or suicidal thoughts. And 379 00:20:10,027 --> 00:20:12,407 Speaker 1: it's funny because even in those moments, I was deeply 380 00:20:12,467 --> 00:20:14,567 Speaker 1: thinking about my family. I was thinking, how could I 381 00:20:14,607 --> 00:20:17,577 Speaker 1: make this easy for them? Again, my brain being sick, 382 00:20:17,797 --> 00:20:20,177 Speaker 1: I truly thought their life would be better off without me. 383 00:20:23,347 --> 00:20:25,827 Speaker 1: I woke up on Christmas Day. I got out of 384 00:20:25,947 --> 00:20:28,946 Speaker 1: our family Christmas stuff and I put a note on 385 00:20:28,967 --> 00:20:30,787 Speaker 1: the bathroom door. I said, please don't come in. I 386 00:20:30,827 --> 00:20:32,507 Speaker 1: didn't want anyone to have to find me. And I 387 00:20:32,587 --> 00:20:35,407 Speaker 1: spent most of the day wrestling with this. And I 388 00:20:35,447 --> 00:20:38,107 Speaker 1: describe it as just the closest thing to hell that 389 00:20:38,167 --> 00:20:41,706 Speaker 1: somebody could experience. Like imagine so much pain that you 390 00:20:41,727 --> 00:20:44,557 Speaker 1: can't even think about your friends and family. I would 391 00:20:44,597 --> 00:20:47,137 Speaker 1: lay down on the cold tile floor. cry. I would 392 00:20:47,157 --> 00:20:49,337 Speaker 1: stand back up and the voices in my head were 393 00:20:49,497 --> 00:20:51,737 Speaker 1: so loud. And, you know, I'm having all these flashes 394 00:20:51,797 --> 00:20:55,397 Speaker 1: of just really horrible things, these moments of bullying and abuse. 395 00:20:55,417 --> 00:21:01,377 Speaker 1: And so I started counting backwards from 10 and 10, 9, Eight, 396 00:21:01,457 --> 00:21:05,257 Speaker 1: I saw the most painful moments flashing before me. And 397 00:21:05,277 --> 00:21:09,757 Speaker 1: then seven, six, I saw these really happy moments, things 398 00:21:09,797 --> 00:21:13,797 Speaker 1: I would miss, my family and friends. And then five, four, 399 00:21:14,317 --> 00:21:17,777 Speaker 1: somewhere about three, this question or this feeling really broke through. 400 00:21:17,797 --> 00:21:21,657 Speaker 1: And the feeling was, have you really given life everything 401 00:21:21,717 --> 00:21:27,077 Speaker 1: you've got? Because if you have Sam, it's okay. You 402 00:21:27,157 --> 00:21:35,696 Speaker 1: can give up. This can be the end. But I'm 403 00:21:35,737 --> 00:21:39,777 Speaker 1: not sure that you have tried everything to heal and 404 00:21:39,837 --> 00:21:43,047 Speaker 1: to create this life that you want to live, to 405 00:21:43,127 --> 00:21:45,986 Speaker 1: get help, to go out into the world and And 406 00:21:46,027 --> 00:21:48,087 Speaker 1: be bold and be the kind of person that you 407 00:21:48,127 --> 00:21:50,387 Speaker 1: want to be. So in the bravest moment of my 408 00:21:50,427 --> 00:21:52,487 Speaker 1: whole life, I grabbed the things. I grabbed the note 409 00:21:52,527 --> 00:21:54,307 Speaker 1: off the bathroom door. I got in my car and 410 00:21:54,327 --> 00:21:57,137 Speaker 1: I just started driving. And I sat in this abandoned 411 00:21:57,157 --> 00:22:01,007 Speaker 1: parking lot, downtown Minneapolis. I watched the minutes tick by 1158, 1159, midnight. 412 00:22:01,037 --> 00:22:02,817 Speaker 1: I had made it and I had decided to stay. 413 00:22:07,697 --> 00:22:11,257 Speaker 1: And I went home, I got in bed, went to sleep, 414 00:22:11,317 --> 00:22:14,657 Speaker 1: woke up the next day, emotional stability restored. I wish 415 00:22:14,697 --> 00:22:17,087 Speaker 1: I could say that everything was healed and life was 416 00:22:17,147 --> 00:22:19,807 Speaker 1: perfect from then on out. It's been a long journey 417 00:22:20,047 --> 00:22:23,227 Speaker 1: of therapy, of getting help, of learning how to care 418 00:22:23,267 --> 00:22:25,367 Speaker 1: for my brain and my body, learning how to connect 419 00:22:25,407 --> 00:22:28,037 Speaker 1: with God, learning about the truths that God says about 420 00:22:28,097 --> 00:22:30,997 Speaker 1: who I am and who I'm made to be. But ultimately, 421 00:22:31,057 --> 00:22:34,217 Speaker 1: I've used that question to save me time and time again. 422 00:22:34,277 --> 00:22:37,137 Speaker 1: It's have you really given life everything you've got? Because 423 00:22:37,357 --> 00:22:39,737 Speaker 1: I think that's the life that Jesus calls us to, 424 00:22:39,807 --> 00:22:42,746 Speaker 1: to be brave and courageous and to give it what 425 00:22:42,767 --> 00:22:45,407 Speaker 1: we've got. You know, no matter how hopeless we might feel, 426 00:22:45,867 --> 00:22:48,087 Speaker 1: there's always a little more in us, especially when we 427 00:22:48,367 --> 00:22:55,637 Speaker 1: have him on our side. Unfortunately, depression and suicidal thoughts 428 00:22:55,697 --> 00:22:58,977 Speaker 1: are something I still battle. There's so many parts of 429 00:22:59,017 --> 00:23:01,867 Speaker 1: the Bible that talk about depression and suicide. Maybe they 430 00:23:01,907 --> 00:23:05,347 Speaker 1: didn't have the language, but so many of those stories 431 00:23:05,407 --> 00:23:07,686 Speaker 1: talk about people feeling like they don't know if they 432 00:23:07,727 --> 00:23:10,387 Speaker 1: want to still be alive, if they can continue. You know, God, 433 00:23:10,447 --> 00:23:12,977 Speaker 1: take my life. You know, the Psalms, they're crying out 434 00:23:13,037 --> 00:23:17,077 Speaker 1: to God about how painful life And strangely, that's so 435 00:23:17,137 --> 00:23:20,177 Speaker 1: comforting to know that what I have experienced, it's part 436 00:23:20,217 --> 00:23:23,467 Speaker 1: of the human story. I'm not messed up. I'm not 437 00:23:23,567 --> 00:23:27,227 Speaker 1: a mistake. Like I was made on purpose for a purpose. 438 00:23:27,727 --> 00:23:29,967 Speaker 1: And that there's been this good God who's been this 439 00:23:30,087 --> 00:23:33,317 Speaker 1: quiet and gentle voice that's willing to meet us when 440 00:23:33,337 --> 00:23:36,057 Speaker 1: we make a little time for him. Jesus Calling has 441 00:23:36,097 --> 00:23:37,757 Speaker 1: been a big part of that for me. I've had 442 00:23:37,797 --> 00:23:41,537 Speaker 1: that book for years. Something about the way that Sarah 443 00:23:41,577 --> 00:23:45,017 Speaker 1: Young wrote that book that feels like just warmth. It 444 00:23:45,037 --> 00:23:49,007 Speaker 1: feels like a hug. It feels like... someone whispering through 445 00:23:49,027 --> 00:23:52,417 Speaker 1: the strength. We lose almost 50,000 people a year to 446 00:23:52,437 --> 00:23:54,937 Speaker 1: suicide in the U.S. We just have to be willing 447 00:23:54,997 --> 00:23:58,077 Speaker 1: to talk about it, to have these hard conversations, and 448 00:23:58,157 --> 00:24:01,617 Speaker 1: to encourage people to seek the medical help that can 449 00:24:02,137 --> 00:24:04,297 Speaker 1: help them like it has helped me create a life 450 00:24:04,377 --> 00:24:06,497 Speaker 1: that they want to live and that they can love. 451 00:24:07,707 --> 00:24:10,267 Speaker 1: I spend a lot of time focusing on high schools 452 00:24:10,347 --> 00:24:13,627 Speaker 1: and university. In those moments, it's so hard to see. 453 00:24:14,387 --> 00:24:15,857 Speaker 1: You can't see what 30 is going to be like. 454 00:24:16,227 --> 00:24:20,157 Speaker 1: Can my story just give someone enough chance to not 455 00:24:20,197 --> 00:24:22,797 Speaker 1: make a rash decision and try to keep moving through it? 456 00:24:24,937 --> 00:24:29,737 Speaker 1: I'm reading from Jesus Listens, March 26th. Ever present God, 457 00:24:30,417 --> 00:24:33,437 Speaker 1: the most important fact of my existence is that you 458 00:24:33,587 --> 00:24:37,527 Speaker 1: are perpetually with me, taking care of me. I'm thankful 459 00:24:37,707 --> 00:24:40,587 Speaker 1: that you are not limited by time or space and 460 00:24:40,607 --> 00:24:43,967 Speaker 1: that your presence with me is a forever promise. So 461 00:24:44,027 --> 00:24:46,367 Speaker 1: I have a good reason to face the future calmly, 462 00:24:46,887 --> 00:24:50,467 Speaker 1: trusting that you are already there. Your word assures me 463 00:24:50,847 --> 00:24:53,417 Speaker 1: that when I make the quantum leap into eternity, I 464 00:24:53,877 --> 00:24:57,837 Speaker 1: will find you awaiting me in heaven. Since my future 465 00:24:57,937 --> 00:25:00,957 Speaker 1: is in your hands, I don't need to worry about tomorrow. 466 00:25:01,897 --> 00:25:04,997 Speaker 1: Whenever I start to feel anxious, help me hear you saying, 467 00:25:05,337 --> 00:25:09,517 Speaker 1: my child, do not worry. Lord, I want to live 468 00:25:09,557 --> 00:25:13,297 Speaker 1: this day abundantly, seeing all there is to see, doing 469 00:25:13,457 --> 00:25:16,516 Speaker 1: all there is to do. Instead of being distracted by 470 00:25:16,577 --> 00:25:20,597 Speaker 1: future concerns, I'll try to entrust them to you. Each 471 00:25:20,677 --> 00:25:23,956 Speaker 1: day of life is a glorious gift from you. But 472 00:25:24,017 --> 00:25:26,507 Speaker 1: I confess that I struggle to live within the confines 473 00:25:26,547 --> 00:25:30,447 Speaker 1: of today. Often, my energy for abundant living spills over 474 00:25:30,487 --> 00:25:34,647 Speaker 1: the timeline into tomorrow's worries or past regrets. When I 475 00:25:34,687 --> 00:25:37,827 Speaker 1: waste my precious energy in this way, I limp through 476 00:25:37,847 --> 00:25:41,067 Speaker 1: the day instead of living it to the full. But 477 00:25:41,087 --> 00:25:43,727 Speaker 1: when I keep my focus on your presence in the present, 478 00:25:44,187 --> 00:25:50,377 Speaker 1: I can walk confidently, living exuberantly. In your trusted name, Jesus. 479 00:25:53,327 --> 00:25:57,696 Speaker 4: To learn more about Sam Eaton, visit recklesslyalive.com and be 480 00:25:57,757 --> 00:25:59,897 Speaker 4: sure to check out his book, You Can Do This, 481 00:26:00,297 --> 00:26:04,417 Speaker 4: Daily Affirmations to Live Recklessly Alive at your favorite retailer. 482 00:26:05,457 --> 00:26:07,847 Speaker 4: If you'd like to hear more stories about finding hope 483 00:26:08,087 --> 00:26:18,927 Speaker 4: through depression, check out our interview with Jay Lauder. Next 484 00:26:18,967 --> 00:26:22,097 Speaker 4: time on the Jesus Calling Podcast, we'll hear from David Pollack, 485 00:26:22,407 --> 00:26:25,227 Speaker 4: who heard a doctor tell him, you broke your neck 486 00:26:25,747 --> 00:26:29,677 Speaker 4: one play into his second NFL season. Then, who later 487 00:26:29,717 --> 00:26:32,936 Speaker 4: learned to trust God with something even harder, his wife's 488 00:26:32,997 --> 00:26:33,997 Speaker 4: cancer diagnosis. 489 00:26:35,097 --> 00:26:36,677 Speaker 2: There's going to be a time in your life where 490 00:26:36,697 --> 00:26:39,417 Speaker 2: you are forced to carry a cross. You didn't earn. 491 00:26:40,117 --> 00:26:40,837 Speaker 3: You didn't deserve. 492 00:26:41,347 --> 00:26:43,927 Speaker 2: And you don't want. And here's the thing. 493 00:26:43,947 --> 00:26:45,407 Speaker 1: How are you going to carry it? 494 00:26:51,897 --> 00:26:54,387 Speaker 3: Thanks for listening to the Jesus Calling Stories of Faith 495 00:26:54,417 --> 00:26:58,277 Speaker 3: podcast on the Life Audio Network. Every week we'll bring 496 00:26:58,307 --> 00:27:00,867 Speaker 3: you stories from people who share their journeys of faith 497 00:27:01,327 --> 00:27:04,907 Speaker 3: and how prayer and a relationship with God transformed their lives. 498 00:27:05,807 --> 00:27:09,127 Speaker 3: Be sure to follow us on Apple, Spotify, iHeart, or 499 00:27:09,167 --> 00:27:12,466 Speaker 3: wherever you listen to podcasts. And leave us a review 500 00:27:12,527 --> 00:27:16,707 Speaker 3: so others can be inspired weekly by these stories of faith. Finally, 501 00:27:17,047 --> 00:27:20,487 Speaker 3: you can find encouragement, resources, and more on the Jesus 502 00:27:20,527 --> 00:27:22,797 Speaker 3: Calling website at JesusCalling.com.