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Speaker 1: Life Audio.

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Speaker 2: You are listening to The Becket Cook Show with your host,

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Speaker 2: Beckett Cook. For more information about Beckett and his ministry,

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Speaker 2: visit his website at Beckettcook dot com. To help support

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Speaker 2: the podcast, visit patreon dot com slash the Becket Cook Show.

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Speaker 2: Please consider subscribing to the podcast and leaving a five

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Speaker 2: star rating.

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Speaker 3: Hey guys, welcome to the show today. I have a

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Speaker 3: special guest from Sweden and his name is Thomas Kaya,

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Speaker 3: and he has an incredible story.

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Speaker 4: He was saved when he was seventeen years.

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Speaker 3: Old, and then he fell away in backslid basically and

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Speaker 3: pursued a life of homosexuality for many years, and then

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Speaker 3: last year he came back to the Lord, praise God

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Speaker 3: through a series of amazing events and I am excited

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Speaker 3: to hear his full story. So please welcome Tomas. But

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Speaker 3: first award from our sponsor.

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Speaker 1: Thank you, Thank you, Becket. I appreciate you having me

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Speaker 1: on here.

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Speaker 3: I'm glad to have you on now. I wanted to

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Speaker 3: start with your childhood. Where are you from? Originally?

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Speaker 1: I am born and raised in Sweden, but I am

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Speaker 1: a Syrian from Turkey, so yeah, my parents are from Turkey.

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Speaker 3: Okay, and you said. You say that in your childhood

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Speaker 3: you grew up in a Christian home.

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Speaker 4: Is that correct?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you could say that it was an Orthodox like family.

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Speaker 1: It was a lot of it was a religious upbringing.

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Speaker 3: Like Eastern Orthodox, Yeah, exactly, okay.

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Speaker 1: And and it was a lot of rules regulations. You know,

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Speaker 1: we used to go to church. I went there with

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Speaker 1: my mom and dad when I was young, but I

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Speaker 1: never understood anything that was said. And also when I

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Speaker 1: grew up in our house household, I never really saw

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Speaker 1: Christ in in in the character and and and stuff

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Speaker 1: it was. It was pretty It was a difficult upbringing.

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Speaker 1: H And I met a lot of like psychological abuse

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Speaker 1: and honor culture. I don't know if you know about that.

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Speaker 2: Hm.

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Speaker 4: Sorry, what do you mean my honor culture? Abuse?

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Speaker 1: With honor culture, I mean like it's all about the

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Speaker 1: reputation of the family, Like the outside outside appearance, everything

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Speaker 1: had to look good and sound good and be good,

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Speaker 1: so that like people would think that we are like

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Speaker 1: the perfect family, but inside, like the real relationships we

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Speaker 1: had with each other were pretty damaged, you could say. Uh.

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Speaker 1: And honor culture is also about you don't have the

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Speaker 1: freedom to do everything you want or or or be

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Speaker 1: be everything you are. So it's a lot of restrict

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Speaker 1: restrictions and many people go through this, especially women in

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Speaker 1: honor culture have a more difficult time, I would say.

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Speaker 3: And is that from the from the Turkish background? Is

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Speaker 3: that why the honor shame culture? Is that where that

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Speaker 3: comes from?

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Speaker 1: They have it there also, But for me, it was

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Speaker 1: the seering culture.

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Speaker 4: Okay, okay?

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Speaker 3: And what and when you say there were psychological violence,

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Speaker 3: what do you mean by that?

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Speaker 1: With that? I mean like I grew up in a

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Speaker 1: household where my father used to say things to me

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Speaker 1: that weren't kind, that weren't nice nice, and also abusing

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Speaker 1: me like verbally and my feelings. And I doubted myself

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Speaker 1: a lot because of the things he used to say

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Speaker 1: over me. And that was difficult, you know. And also

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Speaker 1: he was an alcoholic he still is, which means sometimes

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Speaker 1: he could come home late at night and fall on

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Speaker 1: the floor and I had to pick him up and

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Speaker 1: take him to his bed, and he fell again, and

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Speaker 1: he was very angry. He used to scream at me

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Speaker 1: a lot. So when I was seventeen years old, I

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Speaker 1: was so tired and fed up with everything, so I

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Speaker 1: actually ran away from home and I lived with different families,

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Speaker 1: families of my friends and five different families actually, just

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Speaker 1: because I didn't want to stay at home anymore. So

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Speaker 1: I tried to run away from everything that I went

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Speaker 1: through at home. But the thing is, I left from it,

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Speaker 1: but it never left me. It was still in my heart.

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Speaker 1: And I had many things that God had to help

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Speaker 1: me with, you know, to heal.

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Speaker 3: But you say when you were seventeen, you were saved

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Speaker 3: at seventeen, How did that happen?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah, I ran away from home and I was

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Speaker 1: tired of everything that I saw at home, the psychological

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Speaker 1: abuse and the alcoholism and everything. So a friend of mine,

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Speaker 1: he actually invited me to church. So I went with him,

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Speaker 1: and that was the first time I heard the gospel.

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Speaker 1: Somebody preached the gospel to me, and you know, Becket,

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Speaker 1: I started to cry. I felt that finally somebody loves me.

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Speaker 1: Jesus loves me so much that he died from me.

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Speaker 1: John three sixteen came alive, you know, and I received

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Speaker 1: Jesus as my Lord and savior, and that was the

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Speaker 1: start of my journey. And then I got baptized shortly

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Speaker 1: after that, and then I went to Bible school for

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Speaker 1: a year and we went to Sri Lanka to pray

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Speaker 1: for the sick, and I saw many miracles over there.

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Speaker 1: So my faith came alive through traveling over there. And

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Speaker 1: I was a part of this Pentecostal church for you

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Speaker 1: could say, almost ten years. And then the tenth year

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Speaker 1: I was I was heartbroken because some of the leaders

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Speaker 1: didn't meet me well and I didn't forgive them. I

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Speaker 1: became so bitter, and that's something I always like, I

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Speaker 1: want to highlight that bitterness is sometimes an open door

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Speaker 1: for many other things in life, you know. And because

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Speaker 1: I was bitter, I left that community, that church, and

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Speaker 1: I started getting friends who weren't saved, who weren't didn't

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Speaker 1: have a faith in Jesus. And suddenly, my essay, my

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Speaker 1: same sex attraction came to life and I started living

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Speaker 1: it out. I started sleeping with man after man. I

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Speaker 1: started like I had a lot of apps that I had,

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Speaker 1: and it was so I lived a very immoral life,

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Speaker 1: you know. And I would say it started with the bitterness,

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Speaker 1: but also many things before, like when I was ten

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Speaker 1: years old, I was sexually abused by a peer and

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Speaker 1: my age and I never told anybody. Add to that,

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Speaker 1: also my relationship with my father it wasn't healthy. I

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Speaker 1: used to want his attention, his love, his affirmation. I

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Speaker 1: never got it. So that plus the sexual abuse, plus

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Speaker 1: the bitterness made me go full on out with my

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Speaker 1: homosexual lifestyle.

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Speaker 3: And so and also to back up, when you got

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Speaker 3: saved at seventeen, did you and did you tell your

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Speaker 3: parents and were there what was their response?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? I did tell my parents that I got saved,

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Speaker 1: and I bought a Bible and I started reading it

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Speaker 1: and they saw it. My mom when we were supposed

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Speaker 1: to eat breakfast together, she saw that I was. I

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Speaker 1: wanted to be in my room. I didn't want to

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Speaker 1: eat breakfast because I was so like fascinated by what

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Speaker 1: I read in the Bible that Jesus healed the sick

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Speaker 1: and he he forgave people sins. And that was huge

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Speaker 1: for me because I still didn't live out my homosexual

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Speaker 1: lifestyle yet. But I knew that like I had a

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Speaker 1: problem with my poor an addiction at that age also

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Speaker 1: that early, and I knew that I felt so much,

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Speaker 1: so much shame, you know. And when I heard the

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Speaker 1: God Gospel for the first time, I felt so clean

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Speaker 1: on the inside. I felt that God knew who I was.

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Speaker 1: He called me despite of me, you know. So my

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Speaker 1: parents actually they knew, they knew, but it was difficult

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Speaker 1: for them because I became a part of Pentecostal church

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Speaker 1: and for them it was like, what are you doing there?

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Speaker 1: Why don't you come to the Orthodox church? So that

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Speaker 1: was pretty difficult for them to handle.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, we'll be right back after this short break.

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Speaker 3: And did they were they aware that you were same

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Speaker 3: sex attracted in acting out on that?

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Speaker 1: No, No, Beckett, they didn't know. And also my family,

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Speaker 1: they never they never gave me an environment where I

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Speaker 1: could be safe enough to tell them these kind of things,

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Speaker 1: you know, So I never told anybody. The first time

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Speaker 1: I told anyone was my pastor when I was seventeen

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Speaker 1: years of age. But no, my family didn't know. They

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Speaker 1: came to know many years later.

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Speaker 3: Were they surprised by that when they found out?

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Speaker 1: The thing is, Beckett, I didn't have a relationship with

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Speaker 1: them when they found out. So we've never talked about

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Speaker 1: these things because they are not saved. And also twenty nineteen,

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Speaker 1: I had a very tough experience with my dad. He

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Speaker 1: threatened me with a knife, so I had to leave home.

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Speaker 4: Wow.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, he screamed at my sister's daughter. She was nine

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Speaker 1: years old, and I told him, why do you scream

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Speaker 1: at her? She's so sad because of that, and also

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Speaker 1: in an honor culture, are not allowed to tell your

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Speaker 1: father like stuff like this. And he was so mad

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Speaker 1: at me, and he raised up a knife towards me.

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Speaker 1: So that was the last time I was in that household,

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Speaker 1: and then I left twenty nineteen. Today I pray for them.

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Speaker 1: I've forgiven them, and I know that God is going

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Speaker 1: to do something in their heart. You know, God can

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Speaker 1: do anything. He's great, he's mighty, he can do anything.

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Speaker 1: So all I can do is pray. But I knew

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Speaker 1: that having a close relationship with them would be very

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Speaker 1: difficult at that point.

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Speaker 4: Yes, amen, Amen to that. If God can save wretches

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Speaker 4: like us, he can save anyone. So true. And so

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Speaker 4: how okay? So you lived.

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Speaker 3: From what was it twenty sixteen until last year? You

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Speaker 3: lived out a life of homosexuality. Is that correct?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? That's correct?

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Speaker 4: And then what happened that turned it around? What happened?

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Speaker 1: You know, Beckett? I last year before summer, I would

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Speaker 1: say spring or summer, I was so tired. I was

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Speaker 1: so fed up with my sins. I was so tired

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Speaker 1: of sleeping with man after man, and I remembered my

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Speaker 1: beautiful relationship with the Holy Spirit when I was when

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Speaker 1: I became saved, you know, So I started longing for that.

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Speaker 1: I started yearning and longing for that, and I used

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Speaker 1: to during spring last year, I used to watch sermons

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Speaker 1: from Elevation Church and it moved me. And I started

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Speaker 1: suddenly wanting to celebrate communion at home. So I went

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Speaker 1: to the store to buy stuff, bread and everything I needed.

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Speaker 1: So I sat at home and and had communion, and

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Speaker 1: I started praying again. I started reading my Bible again,

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Speaker 1: and that summer me my my relationship with the Holy

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Speaker 1: Spirit grew, and he softened my heart because my heart

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Speaker 1: was so I don't know how to say it. It was

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Speaker 1: so it was so heavy, it was so closed, you know,

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Speaker 1: because of all the sins I committed. And he Now,

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Speaker 1: when I look back in retrospect, I can see how

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Speaker 1: the Holy Spirit wanted to soften my heart because soon

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Speaker 1: he was going to say something to me that would

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Speaker 1: convict me totally. And one night last year during summer,

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Speaker 1: I took a shower and I had a friend who

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Speaker 1: bought a book. You know, he borrowed a book from me,

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Speaker 1: and I started telling the Holy Spirit that I was

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Speaker 1: mad while showering. I was like, that's my book. He

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Speaker 1: has my book. Why why doesn't he give me back

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Speaker 1: my book? So I started being irritated, you know, and

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Speaker 1: I thought it started telling the Holy Spirit everything. And

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Speaker 1: my first thought was like, wow, I actually tell the

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Speaker 1: Holy Spirit small stuff like this, because I actually know

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Speaker 1: that he cares about this stuff. But I never told

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Speaker 1: him stuff like this before. So I was showering and

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Speaker 1: I was like, that's my book. I owe, I owe,

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Speaker 1: I own it. That's my book. He should give it

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Speaker 1: back to me. It's mine. I keep on showering, and

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Speaker 1: suddenly the Holy Spirit speaks to me so clearly, and

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Speaker 1: he says, Thomas, just like, just as he borrowed your book,

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Speaker 1: you have borrowed my body that I that I bought

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Speaker 1: with a price. And I started seeing pictures in my

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Speaker 1: mind of every man that I slept with, and I

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Speaker 1: saw the Holy Spirit on the right side, and he

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Speaker 1: was crying. He was crying back it and.

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Speaker 4: And Jesus or the Holy Spirit.

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Speaker 1: I will, I say the Holy Spirit because I spoke

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Speaker 1: to him a lot at that point of time. But

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Speaker 1: any of them, maybe all three ad Yeah, the Trinity

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Speaker 1: was there. Let's say yeah, let's say like that. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: And and I felt the Holy Spirit grieving, grieving over

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Speaker 1: my sins. So the Holy Spirit convicted me, and it

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Speaker 1: was a conviction that I've never had before. I started

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Speaker 1: crying and crying, and I remember taking my hands and

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Speaker 1: and and like hitting the shower wall, and I cried

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Speaker 1: some more, and then I was done. I went out

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Speaker 1: and I sat sat on the sofa and I started

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Speaker 1: reading all the places in the Bible where it says

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Speaker 1: that homosexuality is a sin. For the first time, I

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Speaker 1: was afraid of reading those because, yeah, of many different reasons.

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Speaker 1: But finally I sat down and read them, and I

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Speaker 1: was convicted all over again.

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Speaker 3: And so are you saying, before, before you read those passages,

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Speaker 3: did you think that it was in a sin?

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Speaker 1: Somehow? I've heard, I've heard that it was a sin,

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Speaker 1: but I didn't want to listen. I think I didn't

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Speaker 1: want to. I didn't want to care. My heart was

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Speaker 1: so rebellious towards God, even though I had a beautiful,

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Speaker 1: beautiful relationship with him the years prior to me living

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Speaker 1: out my homosexual lifestyle. But it became my heart became

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Speaker 1: so hard, you know, so I didn't care. And suddenly

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Speaker 1: during the spring and summer, he softened my heart and

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Speaker 1: I was ready to hear what he wanted to tell me.

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Speaker 1: And it hurt. It hurt so much. I was like, Wow, God,

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Speaker 1: what did I do to you? What did I do

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Speaker 1: to you? So I started crying, and I was I

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Speaker 1: started repenting, and I started I told God, I'm going

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Speaker 1: to put my homosexual lifestyle at the cross. I don't

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Speaker 1: know what's going to happen right now, but I'm going

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Speaker 1: to repent. Sorry for sorry for doing all of this

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Speaker 1: against you and against my body. You know that you

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Speaker 1: gave me this body is yours. And it's interesting Beckett,

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Speaker 1: because a friend told me that when Paul in the

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Speaker 1: Bible wrote to the Corinthian Church, it was a culture

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Speaker 1: where Hellenistic Greeks used to go up up on the

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Speaker 1: mountain to have temple prostitution, and then they went down

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Speaker 1: showered and went back home again, and that's how they

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Speaker 1: lived their life. And Paul told them, don't you know

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Speaker 1: that your body is like the temple for the Holy Spirit.

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Speaker 1: And it's interesting that the place like the shower was

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Speaker 1: the place where I used to shower after every man

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Speaker 1: that I slept with in order. I was hoping to

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Speaker 1: feel pure after the shower, but it didn't do anything.

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Speaker 1: My conscience was still full of shame, full of you know, everything.

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Speaker 1: And suddenly when the Holy Spirit met me in the shower,

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Speaker 1: I felt so clean afterwards on the inside. I've never

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Speaker 1: felt that before in my whole entire life. And I

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Speaker 1: was like, is this what it feels to meet the

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Speaker 1: Holy Spirit and him convicting me and making everything new?

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Speaker 1: So I repented, And I always say that my homosexual lifestyle,

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Speaker 1: I've been free from it for a while now, but

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Speaker 1: my ss A, my same sex attraction, Like it's like

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Speaker 1: it's it comes and goes, you know.

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Speaker 4: Mm hmm. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: And then you you say that you got you started

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Speaker 3: to get bold on social media, So what tell us

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Speaker 3: about that?

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Speaker 4: What happened with that? And how Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, because when I like hang out with the Holy

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Speaker 1: Spirit much much more, I started realizing that I wanna

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Speaker 1: I wanna like talk about the Bible more on social media.

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Speaker 1: And I had a big following and people in Sweden

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Speaker 1: knew me as a singer songwriter. I was. I was

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Speaker 1: a part of a few shows here like Sweden's cat

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Speaker 1: talent and and Swedish idol, and also I was I

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Speaker 1: I I've worked in pre school for I'm a preschool teacher.

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Speaker 1: So I worked in pre school for twelve years. And

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Speaker 1: I used to travel around Sweden to give lectures about

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Speaker 1: how to see early signs of child abuse. So people

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Speaker 1: knew me. I used to talk about these things and

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Speaker 1: they knew me. They followed me, they liked the content.

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Speaker 1: You know. Suddenly I started speaking about Jesus and the

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Speaker 1: Bible and biblical values values, and I started meeting like

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Speaker 1: a lot of angry people. One morning, I wake up, Beckett,

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Speaker 1: and I see many people, many influencers on TikTok, making

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Speaker 1: videos where they hate me, where they tell me telp

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Speaker 1: their followers they don't like me anymore. And you know,

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Speaker 1: seeing that and seeing the magnitude of that was so

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Speaker 1: difficult because as a singer and songwriter and giving lectures

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Speaker 1: around Sweden built monuments of being loved out of being loved,

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Speaker 1: you know, so I wanted to please people, and now

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Speaker 1: when they weren't pleased anymore, because I was honest with

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Speaker 1: my values from the Bible, it was so difficult for me,

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Speaker 1: and I started getting more and more hate in the

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Speaker 1: comment sections and stuff. So one day I sat at

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Speaker 1: home and in the dark, and I told myself, I

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Speaker 1: don't want to live anymore. My current pastor's my pastor's wife,

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Speaker 1: she actually saw a vision where God showed her that

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Speaker 1: I was in the dark, alone at home and they

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Speaker 1: had to bring me home. So she told the pastor, please,

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Speaker 1: can you bring Thomas home to us. He shouldn't be

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Speaker 1: alone right now at this point of time. So he

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Speaker 1: brought me with the car and I got to live

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Speaker 1: with them for a couple of months to get back

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Speaker 1: up on my feet feet again. They started talking like

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Speaker 1: faith into my life. When I doubted they carried me,

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Speaker 1: they were. They were like God's love towards me in

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Speaker 1: a practical way. And I lost everything at that time.

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Speaker 1: I lost my my jobs. I had a management with

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Speaker 1: four people who used to help me with with the

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Speaker 1: with traveling around Sweden, and they they called me. They said,

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Speaker 1: they said, we can't work with you anymore. I had

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Speaker 1: a publishing deal, like a book deal. I was about

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Speaker 1: to get my first book out and the company called

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Speaker 1: me and said we cannot work with you anymore. So

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Speaker 1: I lost my book deal, I lost my management, I

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Speaker 1: lost almost thirteen thousand followers. I was hated in Sweden

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Speaker 1: and that was Now I can say in retrospect, that

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Speaker 1: was a perfect time for God to show me that

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Speaker 1: even when everybody leaves, He's still there.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly, exactly. And by the way, I just want

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Speaker 3: to read a couple of quotes from the Bible. In first,

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Speaker 3: Peter says, beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery

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Speaker 3: trial when it comes upon you to test you, as

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Speaker 3: though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice in

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Speaker 3: so far as you share in Christ's suffering sufferings, that

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Speaker 3: you may also rejoice and be glad when His glory

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Speaker 3: is revealed. If you are insulted for the name of Christ,

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Speaker 3: you are blessed because the spirit of glory and of

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Speaker 3: God rests upon you. That's one Peter. Chapter four in

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Speaker 3: Matthew is the Sermon on the Mount. Jesus says. This

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Speaker 3: is Matthew five. Jesus says, blessed are those who are

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Speaker 3: persecuted for righteousness sake, for theirs is the Kingdom of

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Speaker 3: Heaven blessed. And this is the key one. Blessed are

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Speaker 3: you when others revile you and persecute you and utter

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Speaker 3: all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account.

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Speaker 3: Rejoice and be glad for your reward. By the way,

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Speaker 3: rewards are eternal. For your reward is great in heaven.

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Speaker 3: For so they persecuted the prophets who were before you,

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Speaker 3: So you you can take comfort in that.

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Speaker 4: And I take comfort in that too.

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Speaker 3: But you can take comfort in that because you're blessed

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Speaker 3: when you're persecuted, and your reward is great in heaven.

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Speaker 1: Thank you for reading that, Beckett. I love those Bible verses.

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Speaker 1: They gave me a lot of comfort when I went

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Speaker 1: through all of this, and I used to want to

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Speaker 1: please people. Now I just want to please Jesus because

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Speaker 1: I'm going to meet him soon and we're going to

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Speaker 1: see him face to face, and I want to tell him, Jesus,

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Speaker 1: I did everything I could to serve you on earth

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Speaker 1: and tell people about you. And if people hate me,

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Speaker 1: it's okay. They hated you too, So you're my role.

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Speaker 4: Model exactly exactly.

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Speaker 3: And then you got the Lord gave you a new job,

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Speaker 3: right and a new home.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, my pastors, their family is my new family, and

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Speaker 1: I have new friends. God actually redeemed a lot of things,

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Speaker 1: and he still does to this day. I'm a youth

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Speaker 1: pastor at the moment with a wonderful crew who helps

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Speaker 1: me to tell the youth here in my city about Jesus.

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Speaker 1: And I work in preschool again and yeah, finally, finally, finally,

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Speaker 1: like I have a beautiful relatelationship with the Holy Spirit

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Speaker 1: where I can tell him everything and it's intimate, it's warm,

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Speaker 1: It's what he called us to. Sometimes I'm afraid that we,

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Speaker 1: as the Body of Christ, we think that we need

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Speaker 1: to do stuff for God, and sometimes we think that

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Speaker 1: if we go to like Sunday Service and all of that,

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Speaker 1: it's like we compensate for the intimate relationship he wants

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Speaker 1: with us. But it doesn't because He wants to be

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Speaker 1: with us Monday to Saturday, also not only Sunday. You know.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, what about do you have siblings?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? I do?

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Speaker 4: And what do they think about your faith?

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Speaker 1: I actually don't have a relationship with them either, but

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Speaker 1: I still pray for them, you know. And I don't

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Speaker 1: know if they watch my social media, but I mean

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Speaker 1: I pray for them. And I'm at a point in

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Speaker 1: my life right now where I see God redeem a lot,

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Speaker 1: just just by being here on your show, I can

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Speaker 1: see God's move in my life. You know, I'm so

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Speaker 1: thankful that you gave me an opportunity, Becket, because I

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Speaker 1: want to honor you, because watching your show made me

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Speaker 1: feel less alone in everything that I struggled with. You know,

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Speaker 1: Praise God. So thank you, Thank you for that.

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Speaker 4: Praise God. Well, we're gonna leave it there.

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Speaker 3: Thomas, Thomas, I don't know how to pronounce you.

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Speaker 4: The real pronunciation is tumas.

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Speaker 1: Right, thumas. In Swedish, it's tumas. Yeah, yeah, okay, as

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Speaker 1: long as you don't tell me that I'm Thomas the Doubter,

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Speaker 1: it's okay.

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Speaker 4: Well, thank you for coming on the show and sharing

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Speaker 4: your story. I appreciate it.

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Speaker 1: Thank you, Beckett, Thank you, bless you, bless you.

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Speaker 2: Thank you for listening to this episode of The Beckett

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Speaker 2: Cook Show. Your support makes this content possible. All episodes

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Speaker 2: of The Beckett Cook Show are also.

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Speaker 4: Available on YouTube.

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Speaker 2: For more information about Beckett and his ministry, visit his

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Speaker 2: website at Beckettcook dot com.

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Speaker 3: Thank you to the team at Life Audio for their

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Speaker 3: partnership with us. If you go to lifeaudio dot com,

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Speaker 3: you will find more faith centered podcasts about prayer, Bible study, parenting,

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Speaker 3: and more.