WEBVTT - How These Boundaries Protect Your Opposite-Sex Friendships While Married - Pt. 2

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<v Speaker 1>Life audio.

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<v Speaker 2>Do you often worry about the strength of your relationship?

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<v Speaker 2>starting now. Hey Hey, everybody, it's Sanache and you're listening

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<v Speaker 2>to the Rebuilding US Marriage podcast. I'm so glad that

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<v Speaker 2>you're here on today's episode. If you have probably already

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<v Speaker 2>noticed from the description, this is part two of a

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<v Speaker 2>conversation that I had with one of my dear friends,

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<v Speaker 2>Sylvia Chipman. Sylvia is also a marriage coach, and she's

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<v Speaker 2>also a really good friend of mine, and we had

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<v Speaker 2>a conversation in part one about platonic friendships. Is it

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<v Speaker 2>okay if you are married to be just friends? Quote

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<v Speaker 2>unquote with someone of the opposite gender, assuming you're attracted

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<v Speaker 2>to people of the opposite gender. So in that first conversation,

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<v Speaker 2>if you haven't already listened to it, I would encourage

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<v Speaker 2>you to listen to that one first, because obviously this

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<v Speaker 2>conversation builds upon that one. But Sylvia and I shared

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<v Speaker 2>a lot of personal stories from our lives about how

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<v Speaker 2>we did this wrong and about how both of us

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<v Speaker 2>actually ended up in unfaithful marriages as a result of that.

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<v Speaker 2>So in Part two, we're going to segue a little

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<v Speaker 2>bit and talk about some of the boundaries that have

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<v Speaker 2>really been beneficial for us. Now, a boundary is not

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<v Speaker 2>something that I'm putting on you. It's not something that

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<v Speaker 2>you can put on your spouse or anybody else. Boundaries

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<v Speaker 2>are always about what you are going to do. So

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<v Speaker 2>as you listen to this conversation, I want you to

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<v Speaker 2>be inspired by some of the boundaries that we have,

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<v Speaker 2>but I also want you to think about what are

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<v Speaker 2>some boundaries that you can put in place for your marriage.

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<v Speaker 2>Remember that boundaries are always about protecting your marriage from harm,

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<v Speaker 2>protecting your marriage from outsiders, protecting your marriage from relationships

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<v Speaker 2>that look right but are not right. So with that

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<v Speaker 2>being said, let's go ahead and jump into this part

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<v Speaker 2>two of this incredible conversation about can you just be

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<v Speaker 2>friends even though I don't have bad intentions, even though

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<v Speaker 2>maybe I'm trustworthy or they're trustworthy. I'm going to dial

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<v Speaker 2>this that because I don't want this to turn into

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<v Speaker 2>something that it shouldn't.

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<v Speaker 1>Be right, and it takes maturity, it does. It takes

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<v Speaker 1>which we didn't have at that stage. Mean, I just

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<v Speaker 1>didn't have it, and like I said, there was so

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<v Speaker 1>much emotion happening. I mean, like I said, I really

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<v Speaker 1>see it for what it is. It was a trauma bond.

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<v Speaker 1>It was you know, we had gone through something together

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<v Speaker 1>that was unique and very big for a twenty something

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<v Speaker 1>year old to be dealing with for years. So yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>so there could be any kind of unique circumstances. Everyone

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<v Speaker 1>thinks their situation is unique.

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<v Speaker 3>That's another thing.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, you just don't understand because this or but it's this,

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<v Speaker 1>And regardless of what it is, are you putting your

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<v Speaker 1>marriage first? Is it in its proper place? Because it

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<v Speaker 1>should have been. I should have been able to set

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<v Speaker 1>my feelings aside for a moment to see where my

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<v Speaker 1>husband was coming from and how insulting. That must have

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<v Speaker 1>been for him to see me sharing intimate details about

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<v Speaker 1>my wants and not wants and hurt with another man

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<v Speaker 1>like that. For all intents and purposes, that was what

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<v Speaker 1>we call an emotional affair if we're being honest with ourselves.

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<v Speaker 1>And I didn't at the time, but I can see

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<v Speaker 1>it for what it is, and it was, and so

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<v Speaker 1>I was wrong for that, And years later I would

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<v Speaker 1>have to give grace for or an affair as well.

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<v Speaker 1>And it happened into similar fashion a slow burn. You know,

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<v Speaker 1>it's a somebody telling somebody. The origin of an affair

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<v Speaker 1>is somebody feeling in need that's not being met, right,

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, would you agree tot so, all it took

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<v Speaker 1>was a woman to come along, and it was innocent enough.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna help this widow woman with with building her fence,

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<v Speaker 1>because you know that's the way the military works, when

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<v Speaker 1>somebody in your squadron or whatever passes you pull over

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<v Speaker 1>together and help their widow.

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<v Speaker 3>You know this.

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<v Speaker 1>So my husband volunteers to build a fence, and this

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<v Speaker 1>woman just starts pouring and pooring and poor feeding his ego,

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<v Speaker 1>telling them how amazing he is, like all these things

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<v Speaker 1>that you know, We're fifteen years into our marriage, so

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<v Speaker 1>maybe I'm not doing as much if I'm just being honest.

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<v Speaker 1>And yeah, the enemy crept right into our marriage, and

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<v Speaker 1>you know, but I had to find it the strength

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<v Speaker 1>of the Lord to find a place of forgiveness and

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<v Speaker 1>healing and we did, and honestly, truly, we love each

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<v Speaker 1>other better and stronger and more intimately today than we

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<v Speaker 1>ever have. And I praise the Lord for that.

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<v Speaker 3>That's so good.

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<v Speaker 1>But we are aware and we guard our marriage.

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<v Speaker 3>You've got to be aware.

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<v Speaker 2>And that's the thing, is that, like whether you are

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<v Speaker 2>in your faith, not in your faith, you believe in

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<v Speaker 2>the enemy, you don't believe in the enemy.

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<v Speaker 3>I don't know.

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<v Speaker 2>But what I do know is that I do not

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<v Speaker 2>need to help the enemy to destroy my marriage like

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<v Speaker 2>he is. All right, He's already on the already always,

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<v Speaker 2>you know. So I'm not going to give him any help.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm not going to leave any open doors.

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<v Speaker 2>With that being said, though, Sylvia, I do believe that

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<v Speaker 2>there are times that you can have healthy platonic friends

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<v Speaker 2>of the opposite sex. In my personal life right now.

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<v Speaker 2>I was just telling you earlier.

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<v Speaker 3>I have too. I have a couple of guy friends.

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<v Speaker 2>First of all, as a pastor, it's a male dominated industry, right,

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<v Speaker 2>so I work with men all the time, and even

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<v Speaker 2>in business, like a lot of there's a lot more

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<v Speaker 2>women entrepreneurs now, but I mean it's largely a male space.

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<v Speaker 2>And so I'm around men all the time, and I'm

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<v Speaker 2>very friendly, and I'm.

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<v Speaker 3>Also very touchy, like I hug everybody. I'm constantly touching people.

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<v Speaker 2>So I have to like watch myself literally, like do

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<v Speaker 2>not be rubbing on that man, you know, Like, do

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<v Speaker 2>not don't give so many hugs like it's not it's.

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<v Speaker 1>Just a side hug exactly referred.

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<v Speaker 3>Hug and put your elbow in between you, you know.

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<v Speaker 2>But so I have these guy friends who I adore.

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<v Speaker 2>I think they are amazing fathers, great husbands, they are

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<v Speaker 2>all of them are in ministry or business somehow, like

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<v Speaker 2>they are good, solid guys, And to be honest, I

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<v Speaker 2>would love to just hang out with them and just

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<v Speaker 2>be like, let's go and get dinner or lunch or

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<v Speaker 2>whatever it is. But I do have to be aware

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<v Speaker 2>of the appearances an evil thing, right, And then not

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<v Speaker 2>even just the appearances evil, but just people talk and

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<v Speaker 2>somettimes like you might not have any bad intentions, but

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<v Speaker 2>like people will talk, and because I have a history, unfortunately,

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<v Speaker 2>I have to be aware that even in my again

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<v Speaker 2>good intentions, this is probably not the best thing. And

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<v Speaker 2>so what I recommend is groups. You know, if you

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<v Speaker 2>have a platonic friend, get to know their spouse, get

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<v Speaker 2>to hang out with their spouse. Like I tell my husband,

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<v Speaker 2>I don't mind if you have female friends as long

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<v Speaker 2>as I like the female. You know, but you telling

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<v Speaker 2>me about Sally Sue, who is that? I have never

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<v Speaker 2>heard of her before? Absolutely not, no, no, no, no, We're

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<v Speaker 2>not doing that. So I need to know my husband's friends.

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<v Speaker 2>He needs to know my friends.

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<v Speaker 3>And like them.

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<v Speaker 2>So you got to know them and like them, and

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<v Speaker 2>then there does need to be some trust there, and

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<v Speaker 2>trust is built by spending time with people. So my

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<v Speaker 2>husband's not going to trust my guy friends if he doesn't,

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<v Speaker 2>if he's never spent time with them. So it's like,

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<v Speaker 2>all right, you know what, y'all, let's go, let's go

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<v Speaker 2>hang out, let's all go to dinner, let's all go bowland,

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<v Speaker 2>let's all go to wherever we're gonna go. Right, Let's

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<v Speaker 2>let's spend time together. And I'm gonna be me and

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<v Speaker 2>that conversation, like I feel like this, if I can't

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<v Speaker 2>be myself because my husband's there, well that's a red

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<v Speaker 2>flag right there, right if I got a dial back

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<v Speaker 2>and act different than.

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<v Speaker 3>I normally had.

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<v Speaker 2>No, no, no, like I'm still the same. So we

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<v Speaker 2>were just with one of my guy friends earlier in

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<v Speaker 2>the week, and I'm a hugger, right, So the first

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<v Speaker 2>thing I do I see him, I go up and

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<v Speaker 2>I give him this big hug. And then him and

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<v Speaker 2>my husband do like the whole dap me up thing,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, like, what's up.

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<v Speaker 3>Man, what's up? They're not gonna hug, right, they give

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<v Speaker 3>each other dap. And so I told my.

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<v Speaker 2>Husband I first, I was like, you know, we really

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<v Speaker 2>need to hang out with him and his wife, Like

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<v Speaker 2>we really need to get to like all hang out together.

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<v Speaker 2>And so I kind of have probably more stricter boundaries

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<v Speaker 2>than like most just because again my history.

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<v Speaker 3>So I don't text men late at night.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't really like just sit there and text back

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<v Speaker 2>and forth all day with a guy I will send

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<v Speaker 2>means like a lot of times we'll send like funny gifts,

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<v Speaker 2>we'll send like jokes, we'll talk about business like so

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<v Speaker 2>it's not like we never talk, but my phone is open.

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<v Speaker 2>There's nothing in my phone that Sean would see that

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<v Speaker 2>he would be like, what's this like, you know. And

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<v Speaker 2>there was a situation, this was probably about ten years

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<v Speaker 2>ago in business.

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<v Speaker 3>Again.

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<v Speaker 2>I was friends with this guy. And the truth of

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<v Speaker 2>the matter is I wasn't a fit. I wasn't physically

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<v Speaker 2>attracted to this guy, but spiritually, oh.

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<v Speaker 3>My god, like he was a pastor. He was like

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<v Speaker 3>everything that came out of his mouth was just like Jesus.

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<v Speaker 3>You know.

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<v Speaker 2>Sean picked up on it, and I was mad. I

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<v Speaker 2>was embarrassed as what I was because I was trying

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<v Speaker 2>to like hide the fact that I definitely put this

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<v Speaker 2>man up on a pedestal. And you know, I was like,

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<v Speaker 2>he's ministering to me. Well really he wasn't, you know

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<v Speaker 2>what I mean? Like, and so Sean called me out

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<v Speaker 2>and then he reached out to the guy, and I

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<v Speaker 2>was so embarrassed. I was so embarrassed, you know. But

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<v Speaker 2>that's what needed to have happened, because if Sean would

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<v Speaker 2>have let that thing go, who knows what would have happened.

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<v Speaker 2>And that and that little innocent relationship. So all I'm saying,

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<v Speaker 2>all we're saying you all today is that if you're

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<v Speaker 2>going to have friends of the opposite gender and you're married,

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<v Speaker 2>proceed with caution. You need to know yourself. You need

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<v Speaker 2>to know your weaknesses. You need to just be aware

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<v Speaker 2>and be honest and say you know what, and we

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<v Speaker 2>need some safeguards around your If your spouse does not

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<v Speaker 2>know your friend, that's a that's a problem.

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<v Speaker 1>That is a problem.

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<v Speaker 3>They need to know them.

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<v Speaker 2>They need to They need to have their phone number,

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<v Speaker 2>they need to know how to get in touch with

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<v Speaker 2>them like they need to.

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<v Speaker 3>It needs to be like that.

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<v Speaker 2>If you have to hide a friendship or if you're like,

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<v Speaker 2>well they just don't get along, well, then you don't

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<v Speaker 2>get along either, like you're just it's just too many

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<v Speaker 2>things that can go wrong for you to even set

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<v Speaker 2>yourself up. That's my opinion. I don't know if you

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<v Speaker 2>have something different.

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<v Speaker 1>But I agree. I I definitely have more stricter guidelines

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<v Speaker 1>in place for our marriage. Again, that's not to put

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<v Speaker 1>it on anyone else, but that's the space that we

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<v Speaker 1>feel comfortable in and given our history and what we

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<v Speaker 1>choose to do. So we don't have opposite sex friends,

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<v Speaker 1>we have different couples we're friends with and we hang

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<v Speaker 1>out together. Even my pastor. If I have a ministry meeting,

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<v Speaker 1>we usually there's two of the pastors or will be

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<v Speaker 1>definitely out in an open space, you know, so we

0:11:19.679 --> 0:11:22.160
<v Speaker 1>have safeguards. I'll just be perfectly honest. I don't want

0:11:22.160 --> 0:11:24.439
<v Speaker 1>my husband having female friends. I'll just put it right

0:11:24.440 --> 0:11:28.440
<v Speaker 1>out there and again, if that's me, then whatever. But no,

0:11:28.920 --> 0:11:31.000
<v Speaker 1>I don't want you to have a female friend that

0:11:31.040 --> 0:11:35.080
<v Speaker 1>you're going out to lunch with. Nope, I don't. Because

0:11:35.360 --> 0:11:36.760
<v Speaker 1>my husband's an attractive man.

0:11:37.679 --> 0:11:38.040
<v Speaker 2>He is.

0:11:38.200 --> 0:11:40.680
<v Speaker 1>He's a good man, he's a godly man, and that

0:11:40.800 --> 0:11:47.040
<v Speaker 1>is attractive to people. And I have found that women

0:11:47.120 --> 0:11:49.440
<v Speaker 1>don't care if there is a ring on a man's finger,

0:11:50.080 --> 0:11:51.520
<v Speaker 1>if anything maybe makes some more trial.

0:11:51.520 --> 0:11:53.360
<v Speaker 2>I was gonna say, Sean used to tell me that,

0:11:53.440 --> 0:11:56.079
<v Speaker 2>like girls would like approach him more when he was

0:11:56.120 --> 0:11:58.520
<v Speaker 2>wearing his wedding ring. Yeah, and you know this is

0:11:58.559 --> 0:11:58.880
<v Speaker 2>when he.

0:11:58.840 --> 0:12:00.280
<v Speaker 3>Was in the thick of all his mess, you know.

0:12:00.360 --> 0:12:01.760
<v Speaker 3>So I'd be like, why aren't you wearing your ring?

0:12:01.840 --> 0:12:05.040
<v Speaker 2>He's like, actually, you think that that's doing It's almost

0:12:05.040 --> 0:12:05.680
<v Speaker 2>like a magnet.

0:12:05.800 --> 0:12:09.040
<v Speaker 1>So so no, I don't trust I don't trust women.

0:12:09.080 --> 0:12:12.160
<v Speaker 1>I certainly want women. I don't know. If you want

0:12:12.160 --> 0:12:14.000
<v Speaker 1>to get to know people as a couple, I'm for that.

0:12:14.160 --> 0:12:18.240
<v Speaker 1>Let's hang out. I don't text for any other reason

0:12:18.320 --> 0:12:21.240
<v Speaker 1>than to set appointments, like if i'm you know, setting

0:12:21.320 --> 0:12:23.600
<v Speaker 1>a meeting with a pastor or something like that. I'm

0:12:23.720 --> 0:12:26.880
<v Speaker 1>in ministry also, so I do communicate with pastors and

0:12:26.960 --> 0:12:29.840
<v Speaker 1>elders and things. But my husband, he even jokes, this

0:12:29.920 --> 0:12:33.360
<v Speaker 1>is funny, but like, we have this elder in our church.

0:12:33.679 --> 0:12:37.080
<v Speaker 1>The man is in his seventies, godly man. He's like

0:12:37.120 --> 0:12:39.800
<v Speaker 1>a father to me, like I've adopted him as my father.

0:12:40.080 --> 0:12:42.000
<v Speaker 1>He gives me hugs, and he gives me kisses on

0:12:42.000 --> 0:12:45.400
<v Speaker 1>my cheek. And my husband's like, look at old Jim

0:12:45.480 --> 0:12:47.319
<v Speaker 1>trying to get put up on my wife.

0:12:48.280 --> 0:12:49.480
<v Speaker 3>Look at Jim trying to run up.

0:12:51.679 --> 0:12:54.240
<v Speaker 1>He's I can get a little too close. I was like, babe,

0:12:54.880 --> 0:12:57.559
<v Speaker 1>mister Jim, come on, I adore that man.

0:12:58.000 --> 0:12:59.280
<v Speaker 3>But no, so all.

0:12:59.200 --> 0:13:02.520
<v Speaker 1>Joking asign you really have to be honest with your

0:13:02.520 --> 0:13:05.600
<v Speaker 1>spouse and honest with what you're comfortable with, and not

0:13:05.720 --> 0:13:08.880
<v Speaker 1>to feel intimidated or feel like you're being petty or

0:13:09.480 --> 0:13:13.680
<v Speaker 1>jealous or whatever it is you and your spouse are important.

0:13:13.840 --> 0:13:17.079
<v Speaker 1>You are the priority, and your feelings are important, and

0:13:17.160 --> 0:13:20.400
<v Speaker 1>you want to respect those. So have a frank discussion

0:13:20.559 --> 0:13:23.600
<v Speaker 1>and set boundaries and honor those boundaries, and that is

0:13:23.640 --> 0:13:26.240
<v Speaker 1>the best thing you can do for your healthy marriage.

0:13:26.440 --> 0:13:30.360
<v Speaker 3>A men. Amen, Well, y'all, this has been so great.

0:13:30.360 --> 0:13:32.480
<v Speaker 2>I would love to hear maybe you have a different perspective,

0:13:32.559 --> 0:13:35.560
<v Speaker 2>Maybe you have a different story, maybe you are like

0:13:36.280 --> 0:13:37.320
<v Speaker 2>a unicorn and you.

0:13:37.360 --> 0:13:41.240
<v Speaker 3>Have been able to navigate these botonic friendships with opposite

0:13:41.320 --> 0:13:42.640
<v Speaker 3>genders with no issues.

0:13:42.720 --> 0:13:45.400
<v Speaker 2>I want to hear from you, So if you would

0:13:45.720 --> 0:13:48.319
<v Speaker 2>send me a DM on Instagram at missus Danish, I

0:13:48.360 --> 0:13:50.640
<v Speaker 2>would love to hear your perspective, and I would love

0:13:50.640 --> 0:13:52.440
<v Speaker 2>to hear if maybe something Sylvie your eyes said that

0:13:52.480 --> 0:13:55.920
<v Speaker 2>really challenged you, or maybe hopefully cause you to think

0:13:55.920 --> 0:13:58.280
<v Speaker 2>about something in a different way or gave you a

0:13:58.280 --> 0:14:01.800
<v Speaker 2>different perspective. Our goal, like you just said, is we

0:14:01.840 --> 0:14:04.560
<v Speaker 2>want your marriages, your relationships to be healthy. We want

0:14:04.559 --> 0:14:07.080
<v Speaker 2>them to thrive. We want you all to be all

0:14:07.120 --> 0:14:09.439
<v Speaker 2>that you can be as we are continuing to grow

0:14:09.720 --> 0:14:11.520
<v Speaker 2>and so all that we can be. We've done a

0:14:11.520 --> 0:14:13.040
<v Speaker 2>lot of things wrong, and we've done a lot of

0:14:13.080 --> 0:14:15.000
<v Speaker 2>things right, and so we want to share the good,

0:14:15.040 --> 0:14:18.520
<v Speaker 2>the bad, ugly, and all that happens with marriage, Sylvia.

0:14:18.520 --> 0:14:20.840
<v Speaker 2>Before I let you go, I'm asking every guest that

0:14:20.840 --> 0:14:24.320
<v Speaker 2>I have on the podcast, what has been your best

0:14:24.480 --> 0:14:26.960
<v Speaker 2>relationship to someone has ever given you?

0:14:27.160 --> 0:14:32.160
<v Speaker 1>Oh my goodness, that's so many. Oh, especially doing what

0:14:32.200 --> 0:14:36.240
<v Speaker 1>we do, Like there's like, oh, oh my goodness, you know,

0:14:37.360 --> 0:14:41.600
<v Speaker 1>really communicate, Honestly, I think I stress that more than

0:14:41.640 --> 0:14:46.200
<v Speaker 1>anything else. Like if you are not communicating, then your

0:14:46.480 --> 0:14:50.400
<v Speaker 1>your marriage is operating with a broken leg. Because in

0:14:50.440 --> 0:14:53.240
<v Speaker 1>all aspects, like your sex life will be better if

0:14:53.240 --> 0:14:57.359
<v Speaker 1>you're communicating what you like and don't like totally, your intimacy,

0:14:57.720 --> 0:15:01.200
<v Speaker 1>your relationship, your conflicts are going to be healthier if

0:15:01.240 --> 0:15:05.840
<v Speaker 1>you're communicating. So you have to speak. There's nothing more

0:15:05.880 --> 0:15:09.400
<v Speaker 1>irritating when than when someone says, my spouse doesn't do this,

0:15:09.440 --> 0:15:12.320
<v Speaker 1>and I'm like, did you ask them? Did you tell no?

0:15:12.360 --> 0:15:12.640
<v Speaker 3>I don't.

0:15:12.760 --> 0:15:15.280
<v Speaker 1>I don't want to do right, You got to tell

0:15:15.320 --> 0:15:18.480
<v Speaker 1>them if you're not speaking it, they don't. They're not

0:15:18.560 --> 0:15:24.120
<v Speaker 1>mind readers. So be verbal. Do not be shy, say

0:15:24.160 --> 0:15:26.400
<v Speaker 1>what you want, say what you don't want, be clear,

0:15:27.080 --> 0:15:29.120
<v Speaker 1>and then also be a good listener. If you're going

0:15:29.200 --> 0:15:31.400
<v Speaker 1>to be speaking, you better be ready to receive too.

0:15:31.600 --> 0:15:34.360
<v Speaker 1>But communication, Agi, there's nothing like it.

0:15:34.560 --> 0:15:38.680
<v Speaker 3>So good, so good, Well, thank you, thank you. We'll

0:15:38.720 --> 0:15:40.960
<v Speaker 3>have to have you back because you kept bringing up

0:15:40.960 --> 0:15:42.240
<v Speaker 3>trauma bonds.

0:15:42.640 --> 0:15:44.280
<v Speaker 2>That would be a great episode, So we'll have you

0:15:44.320 --> 0:15:45.600
<v Speaker 2>back to talk about trauma bond.

0:15:45.640 --> 0:15:48.520
<v Speaker 3>I love awesome. Well, guys, thank you so much for listening.

0:15:48.720 --> 0:15:50.720
<v Speaker 2>You know, as we love to end every episode and saying,

0:15:50.760 --> 0:15:53.240
<v Speaker 2>a good relationship is not one that works. A good

0:15:53.240 --> 0:15:55.600
<v Speaker 2>relationship is one where you put in the work.

0:15:55.520 --> 0:15:57.240
<v Speaker 3>Like's get to work with my friends. I'll see you

0:15:57.280 --> 0:16:00.400
<v Speaker 3>on the next episode. Be sure to subscribe to the podcast.

0:16:01.680 --> 0:16:04.600
<v Speaker 2>All right, Well, that does it for this conversation. I

0:16:04.640 --> 0:16:07.680
<v Speaker 2>hope that you really enjoyed this conversation, and I hope

0:16:07.680 --> 0:16:10.440
<v Speaker 2>that maybe we provoked you to think about things a

0:16:10.480 --> 0:16:13.320
<v Speaker 2>little bit differently, or perhaps you're like, no, Dana, I

0:16:13.360 --> 0:16:16.880
<v Speaker 2>completely agree with everything that you and Sylvia talked about.

0:16:17.040 --> 0:16:19.360
<v Speaker 2>There is probably nothing that makes me happier as a

0:16:19.400 --> 0:16:21.800
<v Speaker 2>podcast host than to hear back from you all. So

0:16:22.120 --> 0:16:24.160
<v Speaker 2>for those of y'all who send me emails and just

0:16:24.200 --> 0:16:26.280
<v Speaker 2>say keep up the great work, we love the show.

0:16:26.480 --> 0:16:28.800
<v Speaker 2>For those of you who have already posted reviews, I

0:16:28.960 --> 0:16:31.320
<v Speaker 2>so appreciate that. And if you want to just give

0:16:31.360 --> 0:16:33.120
<v Speaker 2>me your take, maybe you've got a different take, a

0:16:33.120 --> 0:16:36.280
<v Speaker 2>different perspective, maybe you have a story in this particular

0:16:36.320 --> 0:16:38.400
<v Speaker 2>area that you want to share with me. You can

0:16:38.440 --> 0:16:41.040
<v Speaker 2>send all of your feedback to me at Danashay dot

0:16:41.040 --> 0:16:43.160
<v Speaker 2>com fort slash contact.

0:16:43.240 --> 0:16:43.720
<v Speaker 3>That's d A.

0:16:43.880 --> 0:16:48.520
<v Speaker 2>Nache dot com fort slash contact. Well, I want you

0:16:48.560 --> 0:16:51.320
<v Speaker 2>to also check out my friend Sylvia's work. She is

0:16:51.320 --> 0:16:54.720
<v Speaker 2>an incredible marriage coach. She loves premarital counseling. I think

0:16:54.720 --> 0:16:57.560
<v Speaker 2>I said that on the part one when I was

0:16:57.600 --> 0:17:00.960
<v Speaker 2>giving her intro. So if you are getting married, or

0:17:01.000 --> 0:17:03.520
<v Speaker 2>if you are married and you're looking for a marriage

0:17:03.560 --> 0:17:07.479
<v Speaker 2>coach other than me, then you can find out more

0:17:07.520 --> 0:17:09.880
<v Speaker 2>about Sylvia. So I'll be sure to link to her

0:17:10.000 --> 0:17:13.080
<v Speaker 2>website and all things Sylvia in the show notes of

0:17:13.119 --> 0:17:16.639
<v Speaker 2>this podcast, which you can find at Rebuilding Uspodcasts dot com.

0:17:16.640 --> 0:17:20.320
<v Speaker 2>This is episode four one six. Thank you so much

0:17:20.320 --> 0:17:22.439
<v Speaker 2>for being with us today. I hope that you and

0:17:22.480 --> 0:17:24.960
<v Speaker 2>your spouse will have these conversations. And let me just

0:17:24.960 --> 0:17:27.520
<v Speaker 2>say one thing before we wrap. I often say to

0:17:27.600 --> 0:17:31.240
<v Speaker 2>my premarital clients, you need to have these conversations now.

0:17:31.760 --> 0:17:34.640
<v Speaker 2>Do not wait until you're married, you've been married for five, six,

0:17:34.680 --> 0:17:36.840
<v Speaker 2>seven years, and now y'all are arguing because of the

0:17:36.880 --> 0:17:40.879
<v Speaker 2>whole platonic friend conversation. Have this conversation on the front

0:17:41.000 --> 0:17:44.160
<v Speaker 2>end of your relationship, preferably before you get married, so

0:17:44.200 --> 0:17:46.280
<v Speaker 2>that that way you all can determine what are our

0:17:46.320 --> 0:17:49.200
<v Speaker 2>boundaries going to be, how are we going to operate

0:17:49.320 --> 0:17:53.520
<v Speaker 2>in this marriage concerning platonic friends. So, with that being said,

0:17:53.560 --> 0:17:56.040
<v Speaker 2>thank you so much for being here today on the episode,

0:17:56.359 --> 0:17:58.720
<v Speaker 2>and I look forward to seeing you next week. Take

0:17:58.720 --> 0:18:00.720
<v Speaker 2>care of my friends

0:18:01.600 --> 0:18:04.480
<v Speaker 1>Had born at Rams