1 00:00:19,840 --> 00:00:24,200 Speaker 1: Welcome to Timeless Wisdom with Dennis Prager. Here thousands of 2 00:00:24,240 --> 00:00:27,880 Speaker 1: hours of Dennis's lectures courses in classic radio programs. Had 3 00:00:27,880 --> 00:00:53,559 Speaker 1: to purchase Dennis Prager's Rational Bibles, go to Dennisprager dot com. 4 00:00:53,760 --> 00:00:54,640 Speaker 2: I am old fashioned. 5 00:00:54,680 --> 00:00:55,720 Speaker 3: I like two sexes. 6 00:00:56,680 --> 00:00:57,080 Speaker 2: I don't know. 7 00:00:57,080 --> 00:00:58,600 Speaker 3: I think all of a sudden, I don't like being 8 00:00:58,640 --> 00:01:00,200 Speaker 3: married to one is known as a new woman. 9 00:01:00,520 --> 00:01:03,560 Speaker 2: I want a wife, not a competitor, competator, competitor. 10 00:01:03,880 --> 00:01:06,440 Speaker 1: Talk about a bit, this crying in the morning thing. 11 00:01:06,440 --> 00:01:08,880 Speaker 1: It's depression, you know, Let's get that fixed. That's what 12 00:01:08,920 --> 00:01:09,760 Speaker 1: men think, isn't it. 13 00:01:09,960 --> 00:01:13,600 Speaker 3: What Unless you've got the answer, unless you can say, oh, 14 00:01:13,640 --> 00:01:13,919 Speaker 3: I know. 15 00:01:13,920 --> 00:01:16,880 Speaker 4: This bloke in the essex roudical fix that, and there's 16 00:01:16,880 --> 00:01:17,720 Speaker 4: no point bothering. 17 00:01:18,039 --> 00:01:19,679 Speaker 2: How do you write women so well? 18 00:01:20,600 --> 00:01:23,679 Speaker 1: I think of a man and I take away reason 19 00:01:24,040 --> 00:01:25,000 Speaker 1: and accountability. 20 00:01:25,560 --> 00:01:27,840 Speaker 5: I love him, I love him and I don't care 21 00:01:27,880 --> 00:01:28,440 Speaker 5: what you think. 22 00:01:28,680 --> 00:01:31,720 Speaker 3: I love him for the for the man he wants 23 00:01:31,760 --> 00:01:33,920 Speaker 3: to be, and I love him for the man that 24 00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:35,520 Speaker 3: he almost is. 25 00:01:35,920 --> 00:01:38,280 Speaker 2: What do people have rouse about him? 26 00:01:38,319 --> 00:01:38,720 Speaker 1: Money? 27 00:01:39,280 --> 00:01:45,000 Speaker 2: Sex, sex, money he wants, she doesn't want, she wants, 28 00:01:45,080 --> 00:01:49,320 Speaker 2: he doesn't want women. I've always been a big problem 29 00:01:49,360 --> 00:01:55,320 Speaker 2: to me, doctor Fussbender listening. Yes, yes, yes, go on, 30 00:01:55,440 --> 00:01:59,520 Speaker 2: go on. This is the Male Female Hour on the 31 00:01:59,600 --> 00:02:03,800 Speaker 2: Dennis Prager Show. Hi everybody, I'm Dennis Prager. We talk 32 00:02:03,840 --> 00:02:07,520 Speaker 2: about men and women and their relations every week at 33 00:02:07,560 --> 00:02:12,240 Speaker 2: this time, and the purpose is to try to help 34 00:02:12,320 --> 00:02:16,320 Speaker 2: everybody's relationship or anybody everybody who is in one, and 35 00:02:16,480 --> 00:02:21,359 Speaker 2: to clarify the great difficulty that are often gratuitous that 36 00:02:21,639 --> 00:02:25,639 Speaker 2: clarity can fix. You know, my belief in clarity. So 37 00:02:25,840 --> 00:02:30,639 Speaker 2: today I'm going to address a very difficult issue for 38 00:02:31,280 --> 00:02:37,120 Speaker 2: many couples and hopefully offer and this is key here, 39 00:02:37,720 --> 00:02:44,920 Speaker 2: non religious, non moral, not immoral, non moral, non morality 40 00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:49,720 Speaker 2: based arguments, especially to a man. But of course they 41 00:02:49,720 --> 00:02:55,559 Speaker 2: would be in different ways applicable because infidelity sexual infidelity, 42 00:02:55,600 --> 00:02:59,239 Speaker 2: which is what I'm referring to here for a husband 43 00:02:59,360 --> 00:03:02,760 Speaker 2: or a wife, are not necessarily driven. Sometimes they are 44 00:03:02,960 --> 00:03:05,959 Speaker 2: entirely driven by this for the same reasons, but not 45 00:03:06,160 --> 00:03:09,320 Speaker 2: necessarily so. So I am going to try as a guy, 46 00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:13,119 Speaker 2: and the men know how often I try to explain 47 00:03:13,320 --> 00:03:18,000 Speaker 2: our sex to women and defend us guys as well often, 48 00:03:19,080 --> 00:03:21,519 Speaker 2: But I'm going to try to make an argument or 49 00:03:21,520 --> 00:03:25,600 Speaker 2: a series of arguments to married men why you should 50 00:03:25,680 --> 00:03:30,560 Speaker 2: stay faithful. And again they're not religious based and they're 51 00:03:30,639 --> 00:03:34,600 Speaker 2: not morality based. Of course, there are moral reasons. I'm 52 00:03:34,680 --> 00:03:38,160 Speaker 2: not going to make that argument. We make practical, just 53 00:03:38,520 --> 00:03:47,840 Speaker 2: practical reasons why a man ought to stay should stay faithful. 54 00:03:47,880 --> 00:03:52,080 Speaker 2: I'm talking now about sexual fidelity. There are all forms 55 00:03:52,120 --> 00:03:59,440 Speaker 2: of infidelity, obviously, emotional infidelity, conversational infidelity, they're there, but 56 00:03:59,840 --> 00:04:02,720 Speaker 2: today we're talking about the best known one and the 57 00:04:02,800 --> 00:04:06,360 Speaker 2: one that people mean when they say he cheated on me, 58 00:04:06,520 --> 00:04:09,840 Speaker 2: they don't. They don't generally think he had, you know, 59 00:04:09,960 --> 00:04:13,800 Speaker 2: a series of conversations with another woman. They they it's 60 00:04:14,320 --> 00:04:19,320 Speaker 2: it's meant he had sexual relations with another woman. And 61 00:04:20,320 --> 00:04:25,480 Speaker 2: the arguments, since guys are often persuaded by good arguments, 62 00:04:25,840 --> 00:04:28,640 Speaker 2: that's one of the good features of most men. Not 63 00:04:28,800 --> 00:04:34,000 Speaker 2: all men, but most men can conquer their emotions with 64 00:04:34,080 --> 00:04:38,640 Speaker 2: a good argument. That's a battle. Both sexes have their 65 00:04:38,680 --> 00:04:41,720 Speaker 2: own battles to wage. That's a battle for many women 66 00:04:41,800 --> 00:04:44,920 Speaker 2: to wage because of the power of their feelings and emotions. 67 00:04:45,960 --> 00:04:48,719 Speaker 2: Where you could I don't think one could make that generalization. 68 00:04:48,880 --> 00:04:52,240 Speaker 2: A woman here is a good argument and that ends 69 00:04:53,040 --> 00:04:57,840 Speaker 2: her feeling about an issue. But with men. You give 70 00:04:57,880 --> 00:05:00,240 Speaker 2: a good argument, and many men, not all, but many. 71 00:05:00,320 --> 00:05:03,880 Speaker 2: I think most men will will rethink an issue. So 72 00:05:04,040 --> 00:05:08,159 Speaker 2: let me give reason based, not religion based, not morality based, 73 00:05:08,279 --> 00:05:12,960 Speaker 2: arguments why you shouldn't cheat on your wife. The first 74 00:05:13,080 --> 00:05:18,080 Speaker 2: one is utterly and totally in the realm of common 75 00:05:18,200 --> 00:05:28,280 Speaker 2: sense prag smatism, and that is it won't work. Now 76 00:05:29,240 --> 00:05:33,200 Speaker 2: it almost sounds so prosaic as to be why that's 77 00:05:33,240 --> 00:05:35,440 Speaker 2: his argument. Well, first, it was not my only argument, 78 00:05:35,520 --> 00:05:38,240 Speaker 2: but it's a big one, and this means something to men. 79 00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:44,279 Speaker 2: There are two reasons by and large that men will 80 00:05:44,320 --> 00:05:49,000 Speaker 2: be unfaithful in a marriage. One is purely sexual, which 81 00:05:49,080 --> 00:05:53,719 Speaker 2: is probably the more common one, wherein as we had, 82 00:05:53,839 --> 00:05:58,560 Speaker 2: for example, with a well known politician in New York State. 83 00:05:59,160 --> 00:06:01,200 Speaker 2: No need to mention names anymore, I don't want to 84 00:06:01,279 --> 00:06:06,120 Speaker 2: humiliate anybody, but a well known politician in New York 85 00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:11,160 Speaker 2: State who for years apparently had been visiting prostitutes with 86 00:06:11,279 --> 00:06:15,479 Speaker 2: whom he had no emotional connection. It was as clear 87 00:06:15,680 --> 00:06:19,280 Speaker 2: a sexual matter, a sexual infidelity, as you can get. 88 00:06:20,480 --> 00:06:23,240 Speaker 2: He was not looking for love, he was looking for 89 00:06:24,040 --> 00:06:29,800 Speaker 2: sexual excitement. Now, so well, the other reason that men 90 00:06:29,880 --> 00:06:32,839 Speaker 2: will stray is the reason that more women will stray. 91 00:06:33,160 --> 00:06:36,320 Speaker 2: Most women are not going astray because I just have 92 00:06:36,560 --> 00:06:40,960 Speaker 2: to have the excitement of another male body. Some do, 93 00:06:41,640 --> 00:06:45,160 Speaker 2: It's very rare. The vast majority of women who are 94 00:06:45,279 --> 00:06:50,080 Speaker 2: unfaithful do so because they are falling in love or 95 00:06:50,200 --> 00:06:53,960 Speaker 2: feel they will fall in love, or are spectacularly attracted 96 00:06:54,040 --> 00:06:59,280 Speaker 2: to another man and they have They are not. They 97 00:06:59,360 --> 00:07:01,840 Speaker 2: do not feel loved, or do not feel attended to, 98 00:07:02,120 --> 00:07:06,480 Speaker 2: or do not feel those needs met with their husband. So, 99 00:07:07,640 --> 00:07:11,480 Speaker 2: but that can exist for a man, that is that 100 00:07:11,640 --> 00:07:13,960 Speaker 2: is the other of the two major reasons a man 101 00:07:14,040 --> 00:07:18,240 Speaker 2: will be unfaithful is that he is there the emotional 102 00:07:21,320 --> 00:07:26,880 Speaker 2: love needs, attentive needs, whatever, or are there just thees 103 00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:29,920 Speaker 2: just constantly berated. I mean, there could be one hundred reasons. 104 00:07:29,960 --> 00:07:33,960 Speaker 2: But it's an unhappy marriage, and he's seeking solace and 105 00:07:34,080 --> 00:07:37,080 Speaker 2: comfort in another woman's arms, as a woman would seek 106 00:07:37,120 --> 00:07:40,520 Speaker 2: solace and comfort in another man's arms. I could address 107 00:07:40,600 --> 00:07:43,640 Speaker 2: that later, but I want to address first those who 108 00:07:43,720 --> 00:07:47,679 Speaker 2: do it overwhelmingly for sexual reasons. And let me explain 109 00:07:47,840 --> 00:07:51,520 Speaker 2: something again, because truths cannot be said too often. This 110 00:07:51,720 --> 00:07:54,240 Speaker 2: is a lesson I've learned over the years. I used 111 00:07:54,240 --> 00:07:56,800 Speaker 2: to think, if you told the truth once not the truth, 112 00:07:56,920 --> 00:08:00,360 Speaker 2: a truth you didn't have to repeat it. I was 113 00:08:00,520 --> 00:08:07,280 Speaker 2: very naive. Men are born yearning for sexual variety. That 114 00:08:07,520 --> 00:08:09,680 Speaker 2: is the way men are made. And the proof that 115 00:08:09,800 --> 00:08:13,520 Speaker 2: it isn't socialization, but it is innate in men, is 116 00:08:13,600 --> 00:08:16,560 Speaker 2: that it is as true for homosexual men as for 117 00:08:16,640 --> 00:08:21,680 Speaker 2: heterosexual men. Gay men and seek many men, straight men 118 00:08:21,840 --> 00:08:26,560 Speaker 2: seek many women. That's the way we men are made. 119 00:08:26,720 --> 00:08:30,600 Speaker 2: That includes your husband. If he denies that, he is 120 00:08:30,680 --> 00:08:33,319 Speaker 2: either not in touch with himself, or he's lying to 121 00:08:33,400 --> 00:08:37,200 Speaker 2: you because he's afraid to hurt you or afraid that 122 00:08:37,360 --> 00:08:39,720 Speaker 2: you will get angry at him, if you acknowledge that 123 00:08:39,839 --> 00:08:44,280 Speaker 2: that's his nature too. Are there any men who are exceptions? Yes, 124 00:08:44,440 --> 00:08:46,599 Speaker 2: there are exceptions to every rule I can think of. 125 00:08:47,559 --> 00:08:50,560 Speaker 2: There are people who are born with a sixth finger 126 00:08:51,320 --> 00:08:55,040 Speaker 2: or a third hand. But it is fair to generalize 127 00:08:55,080 --> 00:08:57,800 Speaker 2: that people are born with two hands. It is fair 128 00:08:57,880 --> 00:09:02,640 Speaker 2: to generalize that men yearn for sexual variety. That's the 129 00:09:02,720 --> 00:09:06,320 Speaker 2: way we're made. I believe by God. Others will believe 130 00:09:06,559 --> 00:09:11,160 Speaker 2: by evolution alone. One can believe by both. That's not 131 00:09:11,320 --> 00:09:18,040 Speaker 2: my argument either. Now, therefore, for a man, it may 132 00:09:18,160 --> 00:09:20,839 Speaker 2: not be a statement at all about his love for 133 00:09:21,080 --> 00:09:23,760 Speaker 2: his wife, or his lack of love for his wife 134 00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:26,640 Speaker 2: that he will have if you will a one night 135 00:09:26,760 --> 00:09:30,400 Speaker 2: stand on a business trip to some other city. That 136 00:09:30,640 --> 00:09:33,719 Speaker 2: is that, that's true, But I am arguing against it. 137 00:09:35,280 --> 00:09:40,120 Speaker 2: I am arguing for sexual fidelity on the grounds that, 138 00:09:40,320 --> 00:09:45,760 Speaker 2: having recognized all this about male nature, guys, it doesn't 139 00:09:46,360 --> 00:09:51,800 Speaker 2: work because the next day or the next week, certainly 140 00:09:52,640 --> 00:09:56,319 Speaker 2: you will yearn for another female body just as much 141 00:09:56,440 --> 00:10:02,520 Speaker 2: as you yearned for one last week. It doesn't work. 142 00:10:03,200 --> 00:10:07,439 Speaker 2: You have to put this in your brain now. Remember 143 00:10:07,640 --> 00:10:10,160 Speaker 2: I have to repeat this. And I don't want you 144 00:10:10,240 --> 00:10:12,240 Speaker 2: to call in with them. I don't want to talk. 145 00:10:12,360 --> 00:10:16,840 Speaker 2: I'm not talking religion or even morality, which have obvious 146 00:10:17,120 --> 00:10:20,840 Speaker 2: arguments against sexual and fidel I'm not talking. I want 147 00:10:20,880 --> 00:10:27,680 Speaker 2: to talk simple pragmatism. There are pragmatic arguments, and one 148 00:10:28,040 --> 00:10:34,040 Speaker 2: is it doesn't work. You will have that thrill that night, 149 00:10:34,679 --> 00:10:38,599 Speaker 2: and that is why and again it is not and 150 00:10:39,160 --> 00:10:41,199 Speaker 2: everyone who listens to my show, and that's why I'm 151 00:10:41,200 --> 00:10:44,800 Speaker 2: not even mentioning the name, but that politician who for 152 00:10:45,040 --> 00:10:50,439 Speaker 2: years went to prostitutes, Obviously it didn't work. All it 153 00:10:50,600 --> 00:10:56,880 Speaker 2: did was was feed his appetite, increase his appetite for 154 00:10:57,040 --> 00:11:02,199 Speaker 2: more thrills and more bodies. That's all it did. It 155 00:11:02,320 --> 00:11:08,480 Speaker 2: doesn't work. And women listening may think that, Dennis, you 156 00:11:08,559 --> 00:11:13,040 Speaker 2: think that that's a persuasive argument. I sure do it, absolutely, 157 00:11:13,160 --> 00:11:15,400 Speaker 2: It's not the only argument, and I have a whole 158 00:11:15,520 --> 00:11:19,360 Speaker 2: series of more. Now you call either with questions or 159 00:11:19,480 --> 00:11:22,240 Speaker 2: with your own arguments, and I will give you a 160 00:11:22,320 --> 00:11:27,480 Speaker 2: lot more. We're just beginning arguments to guys to stay 161 00:11:27,600 --> 00:11:31,679 Speaker 2: sexually faithful. One eight Prager seven seven six one eight 162 00:11:31,880 --> 00:11:34,200 Speaker 2: p r A. G e Er seven seven six. 163 00:11:34,400 --> 00:11:37,640 Speaker 1: This episode of Timeless Wisdom will continue right after this. 164 00:11:43,240 --> 00:11:46,800 Speaker 1: Now back to more of Dennis Prager's Timeless Wisdom. 165 00:11:49,040 --> 00:11:51,400 Speaker 2: Hi, everybody, you're listening to the Dennis Prager Show, the 166 00:11:51,559 --> 00:11:54,880 Speaker 2: Male Female Hour. Every week at this time an hour're 167 00:11:54,880 --> 00:11:58,400 Speaker 2: devoted to relations between men and women, their natures and 168 00:11:58,480 --> 00:12:03,360 Speaker 2: so on. Today I am making the argument for guys 169 00:12:04,040 --> 00:12:09,720 Speaker 2: why not to be sexually unfaithful, why not to cheat? 170 00:12:09,800 --> 00:12:11,720 Speaker 2: Why not to cheat on your wife? But I'm doing 171 00:12:11,800 --> 00:12:15,679 Speaker 2: it without recourse to morality or religion. I mean, one 172 00:12:15,720 --> 00:12:18,880 Speaker 2: could just say it's wrong. There's and for many, by 173 00:12:19,040 --> 00:12:23,199 Speaker 2: the way, that that should be sufficient. Do not commit adultery, 174 00:12:23,559 --> 00:12:25,840 Speaker 2: and that's the end of the issue. But I want 175 00:12:25,880 --> 00:12:30,120 Speaker 2: to give practical reasons and not rely on the moral 176 00:12:30,160 --> 00:12:35,640 Speaker 2: and religious. And my first argument was it doesn't work 177 00:12:35,760 --> 00:12:41,200 Speaker 2: if watcher, if you want sexual variety, and every man does, 178 00:12:42,280 --> 00:12:44,520 Speaker 2: and that, as I said, it's true for gay and straight, 179 00:12:44,559 --> 00:12:47,320 Speaker 2: which proves it's not socially induced. It's natural to us, 180 00:12:48,040 --> 00:12:52,800 Speaker 2: to us men, if you want sexual variety, please know 181 00:12:53,080 --> 00:12:56,560 Speaker 2: that if you have it. When I say it won't work, 182 00:12:56,720 --> 00:13:00,000 Speaker 2: what I'm saying is that you will just want more. 183 00:13:01,360 --> 00:13:04,920 Speaker 2: You won't fill that need. It seems that way, but 184 00:13:05,160 --> 00:13:07,480 Speaker 2: it does. It doesn't work that way. Let me take 185 00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:09,640 Speaker 2: a call on that, and then I want to get 186 00:13:09,679 --> 00:13:12,000 Speaker 2: to the to some of the other reasons as well. 187 00:13:12,840 --> 00:13:15,360 Speaker 2: But that that's about as pragmatic as you can get, 188 00:13:15,440 --> 00:13:18,160 Speaker 2: and I wanted to give you practical reasons. We go 189 00:13:18,280 --> 00:13:21,120 Speaker 2: to Portland Are and Jim Hi, Jim Dennis Prager, thanks 190 00:13:21,160 --> 00:13:22,800 Speaker 2: for calling, hey, first. 191 00:13:22,640 --> 00:13:24,040 Speaker 3: Time caller, Thanks for having me. 192 00:13:24,240 --> 00:13:24,559 Speaker 2: Thank you. 193 00:13:25,720 --> 00:13:27,760 Speaker 3: I think you're probably prepped on what my premise was. 194 00:13:27,800 --> 00:13:31,400 Speaker 3: I was going to take your argument that it doesn't 195 00:13:31,440 --> 00:13:34,400 Speaker 3: work and say, well he might not. Is that he 196 00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:36,599 Speaker 3: stayed married for all this time. It worked until he 197 00:13:36,640 --> 00:13:38,200 Speaker 3: got caught. At least for him, you. 198 00:13:38,240 --> 00:13:40,319 Speaker 2: Mean the New York State politician. 199 00:13:40,679 --> 00:13:41,440 Speaker 3: You're unnamed one. 200 00:13:41,520 --> 00:13:41,800 Speaker 2: Correct. 201 00:13:41,880 --> 00:13:43,480 Speaker 3: Yes, I don't know that he's still married or not, 202 00:13:43,800 --> 00:13:44,760 Speaker 3: but I. 203 00:13:44,800 --> 00:13:45,280 Speaker 2: Thought he was. 204 00:13:45,360 --> 00:13:45,400 Speaker 5: No. 205 00:13:45,520 --> 00:13:47,520 Speaker 2: No, I believe he is still married, and I hope 206 00:13:47,559 --> 00:13:49,920 Speaker 2: he is still married. That's a separate issue which I 207 00:13:49,960 --> 00:13:52,680 Speaker 2: will do on another male female hour. Should it lead 208 00:13:52,800 --> 00:13:54,960 Speaker 2: to the end of a marriage, and I always pray 209 00:13:55,040 --> 00:13:57,360 Speaker 2: that it doesn't, and it shouldn't necessarily by the way. 210 00:13:58,120 --> 00:14:02,080 Speaker 2: But but what it didn't work? What I mean by work, 211 00:14:02,160 --> 00:14:05,160 Speaker 2: and it's a very good challenge, Jim. What I mean 212 00:14:05,240 --> 00:14:10,000 Speaker 2: by work is it didn't fill his sexual desire needs. 213 00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:15,240 Speaker 2: In other words, he went to have another female body, 214 00:14:15,360 --> 00:14:19,680 Speaker 2: which is a prostitute, and then just wanted more. 215 00:14:21,120 --> 00:14:25,200 Speaker 3: Well, And I think the premise I see is if 216 00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:27,280 Speaker 3: you put it in that context, is it a one 217 00:14:27,320 --> 00:14:29,240 Speaker 3: time only deal? And if you do it more than once, 218 00:14:29,280 --> 00:14:33,360 Speaker 3: it doesn't work. My thought was he's unhappy and his 219 00:14:33,600 --> 00:14:37,200 Speaker 3: sexual relationship with his wife, assuming that given him the 220 00:14:37,240 --> 00:14:39,840 Speaker 3: benefit of doubt that it isn't some kind of strange 221 00:14:41,240 --> 00:14:44,480 Speaker 3: No wait, wait, it worked. It worked. It kept him 222 00:14:44,560 --> 00:14:50,040 Speaker 3: married in other words, meaning well, an occasional aison kept 223 00:14:50,120 --> 00:14:54,560 Speaker 3: him in a sexually unfulfilled marriage. I'm assuming he really 224 00:14:54,600 --> 00:14:55,320 Speaker 3: loves his way. 225 00:14:55,160 --> 00:14:59,320 Speaker 2: All right, now, that's that's a very interesting argument. That's 226 00:14:59,400 --> 00:15:03,080 Speaker 2: a very interesting argument if Dennis, if you're only talking 227 00:15:03,200 --> 00:15:07,720 Speaker 2: to pragmatic, what about a guy who is has a 228 00:15:07,800 --> 00:15:13,600 Speaker 2: sexually unfulfilled marriage his wife is is is never in 229 00:15:13,720 --> 00:15:17,320 Speaker 2: the mood by the way that we've talked about. My 230 00:15:17,560 --> 00:15:20,200 Speaker 2: argument on that was, mood should never determine whether or 231 00:15:20,240 --> 00:15:23,360 Speaker 2: not you have relations. The opposite of what ninety eight 232 00:15:23,440 --> 00:15:26,040 Speaker 2: percent of people believe, or ninety eight percent of women 233 00:15:26,120 --> 00:15:29,760 Speaker 2: at least. The mood doesn't determine whether you go to work. 234 00:15:29,800 --> 00:15:31,960 Speaker 2: It doesn't determine whether you wake up with your baby 235 00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:33,640 Speaker 2: in the middle of the night when it's crying. It 236 00:15:33,640 --> 00:15:36,240 Speaker 2: shouldn't determine whether or not you make love to your husband. 237 00:15:37,200 --> 00:15:44,040 Speaker 2: That's another We've done that, we'll do it again. But well, Dennis, 238 00:15:44,200 --> 00:15:47,640 Speaker 2: maybe it just helped him stay in his marriage. I 239 00:15:47,840 --> 00:15:53,320 Speaker 2: find that largely untenable, folks. You know, for if you, 240 00:15:53,680 --> 00:15:58,080 Speaker 2: first of all, if there is that problem, you confront it, Honey, 241 00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:01,440 Speaker 2: we have no sex. This is a real problem. It's 242 00:16:01,480 --> 00:16:04,400 Speaker 2: going to lead to the demise of the marriage. I 243 00:16:04,480 --> 00:16:07,960 Speaker 2: mean that one has to be that direct. And we're 244 00:16:07,960 --> 00:16:14,520 Speaker 2: going to a therapist, or or we we have a 245 00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:19,360 Speaker 2: physical love life. Now, I mean like in the next hour, 246 00:16:21,240 --> 00:16:27,080 Speaker 2: if necessary, we'll go to a hotel. Hotel, you don't 247 00:16:27,280 --> 00:16:33,400 Speaker 2: solve the problem by going for other bodies. That It 248 00:16:33,520 --> 00:16:37,840 Speaker 2: doesn't solve the problem. Oh, I have a terrific relationship 249 00:16:37,920 --> 00:16:40,280 Speaker 2: with my wife, and I sleep with other women regularly. 250 00:16:42,320 --> 00:16:49,360 Speaker 2: Something I'm missing, something I don't believe it. We have 251 00:16:49,520 --> 00:16:53,040 Speaker 2: this great thing worked out, or at least I haven't 252 00:16:53,040 --> 00:16:55,240 Speaker 2: worked out, which brings me to reason number two. Why 253 00:16:55,320 --> 00:16:59,080 Speaker 2: it doesn't work because you're hiding such a big part 254 00:16:59,120 --> 00:17:03,400 Speaker 2: of yourself from your spouse. Kind of marriage is that 255 00:17:03,720 --> 00:17:09,160 Speaker 2: where you have this extraordinarily large dark room that your 256 00:17:09,240 --> 00:17:12,120 Speaker 2: spouse can't enter. And I want to talk about dark 257 00:17:12,240 --> 00:17:15,840 Speaker 2: rooms dark boxes on another occasion. It's a very big 258 00:17:15,960 --> 00:17:19,240 Speaker 2: issue both of the happiness hour and the male female. 259 00:17:21,840 --> 00:17:22,040 Speaker 1: Oh. 260 00:17:22,800 --> 00:17:27,040 Speaker 2: I mean, you see, here is a rule that's true 261 00:17:27,119 --> 00:17:30,320 Speaker 2: not just for your wife or husband, it's true for 262 00:17:30,600 --> 00:17:35,119 Speaker 2: your friends. The more you hide, the less close you are. 263 00:17:35,520 --> 00:17:38,600 Speaker 2: It is as simple as that, and I mean as 264 00:17:38,640 --> 00:17:42,320 Speaker 2: simple as that. There's no exception to what I just 265 00:17:42,400 --> 00:17:48,840 Speaker 2: said that I am aware of. If you hide one thing, 266 00:17:49,680 --> 00:17:53,439 Speaker 2: you are one thing less close you hide two things, 267 00:17:53,600 --> 00:17:58,359 Speaker 2: You are two things less close to any person in 268 00:17:58,480 --> 00:18:03,240 Speaker 2: your life. That is the way it works. That is 269 00:18:03,280 --> 00:18:07,520 Speaker 2: why I believe in absolute openness to your best friends 270 00:18:08,119 --> 00:18:10,680 Speaker 2: and to your spouse, who should be your best friend, 271 00:18:11,359 --> 00:18:17,400 Speaker 2: your best best And the thought that you are sleeping 272 00:18:17,480 --> 00:18:22,000 Speaker 2: with other women but otherwise have a terrific relationship is 273 00:18:22,040 --> 00:18:27,200 Speaker 2: a definition of terrific relationship that leaves me perplexed. Shall 274 00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:31,520 Speaker 2: we say it's not a terrific relationship? It just isn't. 275 00:18:31,560 --> 00:18:35,119 Speaker 2: I mean, what if anybody knows? It's a man who 276 00:18:35,280 --> 00:18:38,720 Speaker 2: knows how important the sexual component is. So to say 277 00:18:38,840 --> 00:18:41,520 Speaker 2: we have a great relationship except that I go to 278 00:18:41,600 --> 00:18:48,680 Speaker 2: other women for sex, it doesn't sound feasible to me. 279 00:18:50,160 --> 00:18:52,960 Speaker 2: And it means that you are hiding a large part 280 00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:59,479 Speaker 2: of your life. This New York State politician, I mean, 281 00:18:59,760 --> 00:19:04,400 Speaker 2: do you realize the double life he led? Frankly if 282 00:19:04,480 --> 00:19:06,359 Speaker 2: I were his wife, And I'm not saying she should 283 00:19:06,400 --> 00:19:08,600 Speaker 2: divorce him. I don't like the mockery of women who 284 00:19:08,680 --> 00:19:14,159 Speaker 2: stand by their public husbands after infidelity and say I 285 00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:17,440 Speaker 2: still love him. I've never mocked those women. I don't 286 00:19:17,520 --> 00:19:20,680 Speaker 2: mock those women. In my heart, I think the mockers 287 00:19:20,840 --> 00:19:25,119 Speaker 2: are mean mean people. I think you'll have to answer 288 00:19:25,200 --> 00:19:29,080 Speaker 2: for your mockery before God. That's how mean spirited I 289 00:19:29,160 --> 00:19:32,240 Speaker 2: believe that is. But I think the hardest part is 290 00:19:32,320 --> 00:19:36,800 Speaker 2: not even the sex. It's the double life. Who was 291 00:19:36,920 --> 00:19:41,440 Speaker 2: I talking to in bed every night? Who who is 292 00:19:41,520 --> 00:19:43,760 Speaker 2: the father of? Who are you? I don't know who 293 00:19:43,840 --> 00:19:48,280 Speaker 2: you are? I thought I knew you. That's what's so scary, 294 00:19:49,800 --> 00:19:53,160 Speaker 2: more so than even the sex. So that's reason number two, 295 00:19:54,320 --> 00:19:57,560 Speaker 2: the large dark box of your life hidden from your 296 00:19:57,640 --> 00:20:02,320 Speaker 2: spouse if you are unfaithful. We continue on the Male 297 00:20:02,400 --> 00:20:04,960 Speaker 2: Female Hour one eight Praguer seven seven six. 298 00:20:05,560 --> 00:20:08,840 Speaker 1: This episode of Timeless Wisdom will continue right after this. 299 00:20:14,440 --> 00:20:17,959 Speaker 1: Now back to more of Dennis Prager's Timeless Wisdom. 300 00:20:19,160 --> 00:20:21,280 Speaker 2: You're listening to the Dennis Praeger Show, as you will 301 00:20:21,320 --> 00:20:23,200 Speaker 2: hear from some of the callers. This is, by the way, 302 00:20:23,240 --> 00:20:27,680 Speaker 2: the Male Female Hour, which more than any other hour 303 00:20:27,800 --> 00:20:34,359 Speaker 2: I suspect, treads on very, very sensitive ground. And I 304 00:20:34,480 --> 00:20:36,520 Speaker 2: am aware of that, and that is one of the 305 00:20:36,600 --> 00:20:40,800 Speaker 2: reasons that I do keep most moral judgments out of 306 00:20:40,920 --> 00:20:45,840 Speaker 2: this Out of this hour. I am not sitting here. 307 00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:49,320 Speaker 2: I'm talking this hour. If you're just tuning in, I'm 308 00:20:49,400 --> 00:20:53,040 Speaker 2: talking to men about arguments, and you know how often 309 00:20:53,800 --> 00:20:57,200 Speaker 2: I have addressed specific items with difficulty to women. But 310 00:20:57,320 --> 00:21:01,320 Speaker 2: this is addressed to men on the issue of fidelity, 311 00:21:02,760 --> 00:21:12,000 Speaker 2: and I am addressing the non moral reasons, the non 312 00:21:12,080 --> 00:21:18,720 Speaker 2: religious reasons to stay faithful, especially if the primary drive 313 00:21:18,880 --> 00:21:23,400 Speaker 2: is sexual. And my arguments were, A, it doesn't work, 314 00:21:24,119 --> 00:21:27,200 Speaker 2: it doesn't relieve your sexual frustration. You will just want 315 00:21:27,840 --> 00:21:32,120 Speaker 2: the next episode to even be sooner because of its 316 00:21:32,200 --> 00:21:37,359 Speaker 2: excitement with the next extramarital episode. I'm talking about the 317 00:21:37,720 --> 00:21:43,879 Speaker 2: end and b the whole that it makes in your intimacy. 318 00:21:44,480 --> 00:21:47,760 Speaker 2: The whole may not be the best analogy or best 319 00:21:47,840 --> 00:21:52,440 Speaker 2: metaphor the wall that is built up because you've created 320 00:21:52,440 --> 00:21:57,639 Speaker 2: a black box of living another life. Okay, But nevertheless, 321 00:21:58,560 --> 00:22:01,640 Speaker 2: there are questions like the following from an anonymous man 322 00:22:01,800 --> 00:22:05,200 Speaker 2: in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Anonymous, this is Dennis Prager. Thank you 323 00:22:05,320 --> 00:22:07,399 Speaker 2: for calling Dennis. 324 00:22:08,800 --> 00:22:11,920 Speaker 5: Sometimes I wonder if people who have not been involved 325 00:22:12,720 --> 00:22:17,040 Speaker 5: with extramarital affairs can have the compassion and understanding of 326 00:22:17,200 --> 00:22:21,399 Speaker 5: people who are involved. Not every affair is. 327 00:22:21,440 --> 00:22:24,760 Speaker 2: About sex, agreed. That's why I was very careful to 328 00:22:24,840 --> 00:22:28,040 Speaker 2: say I'm only addressing that. I will address the other 329 00:22:28,920 --> 00:22:32,080 Speaker 2: but you've called, so I'm leving I'm letting you address it, 330 00:22:32,280 --> 00:22:33,600 Speaker 2: even though that was part two. 331 00:22:34,160 --> 00:22:37,360 Speaker 5: There's two separate items here with men who have affairs. 332 00:22:37,440 --> 00:22:40,120 Speaker 5: There are those men who go out and have one 333 00:22:40,240 --> 00:22:44,879 Speaker 5: night stands, which is dangerous reckless. And then there are 334 00:22:44,960 --> 00:22:49,960 Speaker 5: those people who look for uncomplicated passion and romance because 335 00:22:50,240 --> 00:22:53,960 Speaker 5: things are just out of control at home or they're 336 00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:57,679 Speaker 5: not in a financial or emotional situation to leave the house. 337 00:22:58,560 --> 00:23:02,720 Speaker 5: That's not saying it as an excuse. There are just 338 00:23:02,800 --> 00:23:07,439 Speaker 5: situations where you're not going to rectify or correct your 339 00:23:07,520 --> 00:23:12,240 Speaker 5: issues at home, and not that having uncomplicated romance outside 340 00:23:12,240 --> 00:23:16,399 Speaker 5: of the marriage is going to fester itself to solve 341 00:23:16,520 --> 00:23:19,680 Speaker 5: any of your problems at home. In some way, it 342 00:23:19,840 --> 00:23:23,200 Speaker 5: can deter you from solving your problems at home if 343 00:23:23,320 --> 00:23:28,080 Speaker 5: you have that viable source where you can find uncomplicated romance. 344 00:23:28,400 --> 00:23:30,920 Speaker 5: Because when you date these people that you're involved in, 345 00:23:31,359 --> 00:23:34,800 Speaker 5: it's always a date, it's always fun, it's always great, 346 00:23:34,880 --> 00:23:37,480 Speaker 5: you're always going somewhere, you're not dealing with day to 347 00:23:37,600 --> 00:23:38,280 Speaker 5: day issues. 348 00:23:38,400 --> 00:23:41,640 Speaker 2: So which so I'm not quite certain. I assume you're 349 00:23:41,680 --> 00:23:42,680 Speaker 2: talking about yourself. 350 00:23:44,040 --> 00:23:45,280 Speaker 5: Well, we weren't talking about you. 351 00:23:46,880 --> 00:23:48,879 Speaker 2: Fair, No, and you're not. Well, I know that, but 352 00:23:49,119 --> 00:23:52,159 Speaker 2: I thought we're not talking about your friends or in 353 00:23:52,200 --> 00:23:55,879 Speaker 2: the abstract. That's fine, And look, the only reason I 354 00:23:55,960 --> 00:23:59,879 Speaker 2: say it is because you have first hand expertise, as 355 00:23:59,960 --> 00:24:02,000 Speaker 2: it were, in this. So I have a question to 356 00:24:02,040 --> 00:24:09,520 Speaker 2: ask you if this does express your current situation. A 357 00:24:10,040 --> 00:24:13,840 Speaker 2: Have you confronted your wife about how bad your marriage. 358 00:24:13,560 --> 00:24:16,320 Speaker 5: Is, absolutely on an ongoing. 359 00:24:15,960 --> 00:24:17,520 Speaker 2: Basis and her response? 360 00:24:23,119 --> 00:24:30,040 Speaker 5: Sometimes it gets verbally in conflicts. Sometimes you realize that 361 00:24:30,320 --> 00:24:34,800 Speaker 5: counseling may not help that people don't make changes. You 362 00:24:34,920 --> 00:24:37,000 Speaker 5: really have to look at what a person's gone through 363 00:24:37,080 --> 00:24:39,960 Speaker 5: in their personal life to say I've had it. This 364 00:24:40,160 --> 00:24:42,480 Speaker 5: is There's got to be something above and beyond this. 365 00:24:43,160 --> 00:24:46,040 Speaker 2: Well, well, well all right. The reason that I ask 366 00:24:46,280 --> 00:24:49,040 Speaker 2: is your first duty is to try to make your 367 00:24:49,119 --> 00:24:54,920 Speaker 2: marriage better. Have you tried? You've tried? Yes? Why is 368 00:24:55,000 --> 00:24:55,600 Speaker 2: it hopeless? 369 00:24:56,600 --> 00:24:57,679 Speaker 5: People lose interest? 370 00:24:57,880 --> 00:25:01,080 Speaker 2: There are Is it hopeless? Is it hopeless? 371 00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:02,680 Speaker 5: Is it hopeless? 372 00:25:02,840 --> 00:25:03,040 Speaker 2: Yeah? 373 00:25:04,760 --> 00:25:08,280 Speaker 5: Terminal cancer is hopeless? Okay, nothing it is? 374 00:25:08,560 --> 00:25:09,440 Speaker 2: No, that's not true. 375 00:25:09,880 --> 00:25:10,040 Speaker 1: Is it? 376 00:25:10,400 --> 00:25:13,920 Speaker 2: Is it terminal? From from every perspective. I'll wait for 377 00:25:14,000 --> 00:25:16,360 Speaker 2: your answer when we come back on the Dennis Prager Show. 378 00:25:17,960 --> 00:25:21,120 Speaker 2: Dennis Prager here the female hour. And I am presenting 379 00:25:21,200 --> 00:25:24,200 Speaker 2: this our arguments to men, not based on morality, not 380 00:25:24,359 --> 00:25:29,879 Speaker 2: based on religion, as to why to stay faithful to 381 00:25:30,040 --> 00:25:35,680 Speaker 2: their wives, and in other words, therefore pragmatic reasons, the 382 00:25:36,040 --> 00:25:40,119 Speaker 2: moral and religious speak for themselves. And I recognize, and 383 00:25:40,240 --> 00:25:42,920 Speaker 2: by the way, I also want I will now say 384 00:25:43,000 --> 00:25:47,320 Speaker 2: something that will perhaps disturb some of you. It is 385 00:25:47,400 --> 00:25:53,440 Speaker 2: certainly not said with any of that intent. I. While 386 00:25:53,480 --> 00:25:57,920 Speaker 2: I make this case, and of course advocate religious values 387 00:25:57,960 --> 00:26:00,879 Speaker 2: in religious ethics, et cetera, I do not sit in 388 00:26:01,000 --> 00:26:06,640 Speaker 2: judgment of everybody who in the micro realm I sit. 389 00:26:08,200 --> 00:26:14,040 Speaker 2: I know the amount of pain out there. Since I 390 00:26:14,160 --> 00:26:16,520 Speaker 2: was a very young person, I think I was aware 391 00:26:16,600 --> 00:26:20,000 Speaker 2: of this. This is not a I condemn you. You 392 00:26:20,480 --> 00:26:24,680 Speaker 2: are vile. That is not my point at all. It 393 00:26:24,840 --> 00:26:30,040 Speaker 2: is only to make arguments to try to forestall what 394 00:26:30,359 --> 00:26:38,359 Speaker 2: is usually destructive and rarely constructive. We go back to 395 00:26:39,040 --> 00:26:42,119 Speaker 2: a man in obviously awful marriage. You're thirty nine? Is 396 00:26:42,200 --> 00:26:43,880 Speaker 2: that right? Anonymous in Philadelphia? 397 00:26:44,880 --> 00:26:46,119 Speaker 4: No, I'm almost fifty. 398 00:26:46,240 --> 00:26:48,000 Speaker 2: Oh I don't know why. So all right, fine, you're 399 00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:49,919 Speaker 2: almost fifty, Okay? How long are you married? 400 00:26:50,720 --> 00:26:51,720 Speaker 4: Almost twenty years? 401 00:26:51,920 --> 00:26:56,720 Speaker 2: Okay? I asked you if you considered your marriage hopeless. 402 00:26:57,760 --> 00:27:00,639 Speaker 4: No, there are a lot of factors or facets of 403 00:27:00,760 --> 00:27:04,280 Speaker 4: my marriage that are perfectly fine. It's just that you 404 00:27:04,400 --> 00:27:07,000 Speaker 4: have to come to the realization at some point where 405 00:27:07,960 --> 00:27:13,840 Speaker 4: the passion in the romance, and I'm very deviating and 406 00:27:13,960 --> 00:27:17,040 Speaker 4: saying that separate from sex is no longer there. There 407 00:27:17,119 --> 00:27:19,800 Speaker 4: are many many women in that and this is not 408 00:27:20,040 --> 00:27:22,640 Speaker 4: a woman's fault, but there are many women that after 409 00:27:22,720 --> 00:27:27,119 Speaker 4: they've had a few children, lose complete interest in sex. 410 00:27:27,640 --> 00:27:31,760 Speaker 2: And that's what's happened in your case years ago. Right, 411 00:27:32,359 --> 00:27:35,280 Speaker 2: So if you if you said to your wife, honey, 412 00:27:35,760 --> 00:27:38,760 Speaker 2: I want to stay together for your sake, my sake, 413 00:27:38,840 --> 00:27:41,639 Speaker 2: the kid's sake. I assume obviously you have kids. You 414 00:27:41,760 --> 00:27:46,120 Speaker 2: just mentioned that, but you you acknowledge you have lost 415 00:27:46,200 --> 00:27:50,159 Speaker 2: interest in sex. I have not. I'm going crazy, so 416 00:27:50,320 --> 00:27:52,639 Speaker 2: I will seek it outside, but I won't fall in 417 00:27:52,680 --> 00:27:54,920 Speaker 2: love or anything like that. What do you say. 418 00:27:55,960 --> 00:27:58,240 Speaker 4: You don't really discuss that, Dennis, No, no, no, But 419 00:27:58,320 --> 00:28:01,000 Speaker 4: what if you said it? What if I said it? 420 00:28:01,200 --> 00:28:02,200 Speaker 2: Yes, I don't know. 421 00:28:02,240 --> 00:28:05,040 Speaker 4: I might be shooting myself if I said it, because 422 00:28:05,080 --> 00:28:06,960 Speaker 4: then I got to deal with legal consequences. 423 00:28:07,680 --> 00:28:10,639 Speaker 2: So wait a minute, So you're staying together because of 424 00:28:10,720 --> 00:28:12,560 Speaker 2: the legal consequences of divorce. 425 00:28:13,760 --> 00:28:14,240 Speaker 5: Well, I can't. 426 00:28:14,280 --> 00:28:14,880 Speaker 2: I can't. 427 00:28:15,000 --> 00:28:15,320 Speaker 5: I don't. 428 00:28:15,600 --> 00:28:17,680 Speaker 4: First of all, I can't financially afford to leave. 429 00:28:17,840 --> 00:28:19,520 Speaker 2: Second of all, well, that was all right, that's what 430 00:28:19,600 --> 00:28:22,520 Speaker 2: I just find So that's the same thing as legal. Yeah, okay. 431 00:28:22,640 --> 00:28:26,119 Speaker 4: And second second, I can't leave the house because the 432 00:28:26,200 --> 00:28:30,120 Speaker 4: house runs itself fine, with the children. With that whole aspect, 433 00:28:30,600 --> 00:28:34,840 Speaker 4: it's just the whole idea of Listen, I would love. 434 00:28:34,760 --> 00:28:35,600 Speaker 3: To have what I have. 435 00:28:36,040 --> 00:28:38,880 Speaker 2: Have you ever have you ever gone to marital counseling? 436 00:28:39,960 --> 00:28:40,000 Speaker 1: No? 437 00:28:41,160 --> 00:28:44,240 Speaker 2: Well, okay, I'm sitting here and I would like to 438 00:28:44,320 --> 00:28:48,520 Speaker 2: punch you. Well, I try to do that, she refuses. 439 00:28:49,880 --> 00:28:51,160 Speaker 4: It just never comes together. 440 00:28:51,560 --> 00:28:55,040 Speaker 2: I don't understand those words. That's the passive. Okay, let 441 00:28:55,120 --> 00:28:56,960 Speaker 2: me say a few things because I would like to 442 00:28:57,000 --> 00:28:59,080 Speaker 2: spend the day talking to anonymous. But I can and 443 00:28:59,160 --> 00:29:04,680 Speaker 2: I would. All right. I don't buy this she lost 444 00:29:04,840 --> 00:29:08,880 Speaker 2: a belief interest in sex. I don't buy it from 445 00:29:08,920 --> 00:29:11,040 Speaker 2: the women's In other words, I don't buy it when 446 00:29:11,040 --> 00:29:12,920 Speaker 2: a woman says that, I don't care if you've lost 447 00:29:12,960 --> 00:29:15,760 Speaker 2: interest in sex. What if a guy loses interest in 448 00:29:16,200 --> 00:29:22,120 Speaker 2: making money? I don't buy it. I'm sorry, get hormonal treatments, 449 00:29:22,400 --> 00:29:26,720 Speaker 2: get hypnosis, learn how to do it without enjoying it. 450 00:29:26,880 --> 00:29:32,320 Speaker 2: I don't care, folks, I don't buy that for a nanosecond. Sorry. 451 00:29:35,520 --> 00:29:37,760 Speaker 2: If the guy came home and said I have lost 452 00:29:37,960 --> 00:29:43,800 Speaker 2: interest in earning money, a wife would say, it doesn't matter, darling, 453 00:29:44,640 --> 00:29:47,720 Speaker 2: we need it. That's how we live. That is how 454 00:29:47,840 --> 00:29:55,840 Speaker 2: a couple lives. Sex is an oxygen of marriage. So 455 00:29:57,440 --> 00:30:03,960 Speaker 2: that's towards his wife toward him. How can you accept 456 00:30:04,080 --> 00:30:08,320 Speaker 2: this and not have marital therapy. I just don't understand it. 457 00:30:09,520 --> 00:30:11,560 Speaker 2: So he took the easy way out and saw it 458 00:30:11,720 --> 00:30:14,840 Speaker 2: at outside of the house. What a great solution. Didn't 459 00:30:14,840 --> 00:30:17,800 Speaker 2: he sound like a happy man? Alan? That guy radiated joy. 460 00:30:18,000 --> 00:30:22,000 Speaker 2: I really worked it out. He is a living He's 461 00:30:22,040 --> 00:30:24,400 Speaker 2: a living proof of what I'm saying. It doesn't work 462 00:30:28,960 --> 00:30:32,000 Speaker 2: and none of this and I'm not I'm not here 463 00:30:32,040 --> 00:30:38,720 Speaker 2: as a moral judge. That is not my point. But 464 00:30:39,360 --> 00:30:42,480 Speaker 2: you you have an every couple, you have an obligation 465 00:30:42,640 --> 00:30:45,080 Speaker 2: to try to make it work. By the way, that's 466 00:30:45,120 --> 00:30:47,480 Speaker 2: part of the reason I do believe in divorce that 467 00:30:47,600 --> 00:30:49,360 Speaker 2: if you try, and you try, and you try, and 468 00:30:49,440 --> 00:30:53,320 Speaker 2: it truly fails, and and and and it is not. 469 00:30:53,560 --> 00:30:55,640 Speaker 2: It is not right, and there is there is provision 470 00:30:55,720 --> 00:30:59,440 Speaker 2: for it, at least in most in most religious traditions, 471 00:30:59,520 --> 00:31:04,840 Speaker 2: and certainly in all secular ones. But my god, you've 472 00:31:04,840 --> 00:31:10,080 Speaker 2: got to make every effort. Well, that's that's a that's 473 00:31:10,080 --> 00:31:13,080 Speaker 2: another theme for another time. We have a male fe 474 00:31:13,360 --> 00:31:18,040 Speaker 2: you know, she has lost interest. It's amazing, how how cavalierly. 475 00:31:18,760 --> 00:31:18,880 Speaker 4: Uh. 476 00:31:19,040 --> 00:31:26,360 Speaker 2: Some people will offer that I lost interest. Okay, Well 477 00:31:26,960 --> 00:31:30,120 Speaker 2: you know, if you really lost interest and you act 478 00:31:30,200 --> 00:31:32,000 Speaker 2: on it, I don't care if you've lost you See, 479 00:31:32,000 --> 00:31:34,360 Speaker 2: I'm a behaviorist. I don't care if you've lost interest. 480 00:31:34,480 --> 00:31:40,200 Speaker 2: I care how you act. Men and women are different. 481 00:31:40,600 --> 00:31:43,600 Speaker 2: We owe each other certain behaviors even if we don't 482 00:31:43,680 --> 00:31:46,320 Speaker 2: have interest. Most men do not have interest in flowers. 483 00:31:47,440 --> 00:31:51,680 Speaker 2: To give a much a trivial example of it, but compared, 484 00:31:52,880 --> 00:31:55,960 Speaker 2: I'll summarize these reasons when I come back. Try to 485 00:31:56,160 --> 00:32:01,800 Speaker 2: get a call in as well. The block that is 486 00:32:01,880 --> 00:32:07,480 Speaker 2: put up that when you hide your other life, it 487 00:32:07,640 --> 00:32:11,360 Speaker 2: just goes from bad to worse in most cases, in 488 00:32:11,480 --> 00:32:14,520 Speaker 2: ninety nine percent, there is one percent I can imagine 489 00:32:14,840 --> 00:32:16,800 Speaker 2: where that is not the case. And I have to 490 00:32:16,840 --> 00:32:18,960 Speaker 2: say that to be honest. Remember first till the true 491 00:32:19,160 --> 00:32:22,600 Speaker 2: then give your opinion. We return on the Male Female 492 00:32:22,680 --> 00:32:24,240 Speaker 2: Hour on The Dennis Prager Show. 493 00:32:25,000 --> 00:32:28,240 Speaker 1: This episode of Timeless Wisdom will continue right after this. 494 00:32:33,840 --> 00:32:37,800 Speaker 1: Now back to more of Dennis Prager's Timeless Wisdom. 495 00:32:39,400 --> 00:32:43,520 Speaker 2: Female Female Hour on The Dennis Prager Show. Time flies 496 00:32:43,560 --> 00:32:46,720 Speaker 2: when you're having fun. That was somewhat of a dark humor. 497 00:32:49,920 --> 00:32:52,440 Speaker 2: It goes fast, but it's interesting. I can't say fun 498 00:32:52,520 --> 00:32:56,440 Speaker 2: has been the dominant emotion this past hour, given the 499 00:32:56,720 --> 00:33:01,560 Speaker 2: intensity of certainly the anonymous call from Philadelphia and the 500 00:33:01,680 --> 00:33:05,320 Speaker 2: subject itself, which is so difficult. I've been trying to 501 00:33:05,440 --> 00:33:10,200 Speaker 2: present some non morality based, non religion based arguments to 502 00:33:10,280 --> 00:33:14,960 Speaker 2: men to stay faithful, and when it is primarily sexual 503 00:33:15,200 --> 00:33:19,920 Speaker 2: the strain, I have my strongest argument, it doesn't work. 504 00:33:20,040 --> 00:33:22,840 Speaker 2: You're just going to want to stray more. Whatever your 505 00:33:22,920 --> 00:33:27,960 Speaker 2: sexual frustration or ache for another another body, You'll have 506 00:33:28,160 --> 00:33:30,400 Speaker 2: the other body, and the next day you are back 507 00:33:30,440 --> 00:33:33,920 Speaker 2: at ground zero. In fact worse because now having broken 508 00:33:34,000 --> 00:33:37,120 Speaker 2: the taboo, it'll make it that much more enticing to 509 00:33:37,200 --> 00:33:41,520 Speaker 2: do it again. So it's a very bad answer to 510 00:33:41,600 --> 00:33:48,120 Speaker 2: the problem of a seeking sexual excitement. Obviously, the place 511 00:33:48,200 --> 00:33:54,640 Speaker 2: to find it. Best place is within marriage, and that 512 00:33:55,480 --> 00:33:57,760 Speaker 2: is a problem. That's why I've addressed it on a 513 00:33:57,880 --> 00:34:01,360 Speaker 2: number of the shows of the Male Female Hour, and 514 00:34:01,440 --> 00:34:03,920 Speaker 2: that's why I beg women to understand how important this 515 00:34:04,080 --> 00:34:05,920 Speaker 2: is to men, even if it is not as important 516 00:34:05,960 --> 00:34:09,600 Speaker 2: to them. What should be important in the marriage is 517 00:34:09,640 --> 00:34:12,880 Speaker 2: what is important to the marriage more than what is 518 00:34:13,040 --> 00:34:16,800 Speaker 2: just important to you, So we will address that more. 519 00:34:16,920 --> 00:34:20,160 Speaker 2: The other is that it creates a bat barrier between 520 00:34:20,200 --> 00:34:24,440 Speaker 2: you and your wife that must must hurt the marriage. 521 00:34:24,480 --> 00:34:28,080 Speaker 2: It has to because all intimacy, and this includes same 522 00:34:28,200 --> 00:34:34,200 Speaker 2: sex intimacy with friends, all intimacy is openness. And if 523 00:34:34,239 --> 00:34:37,600 Speaker 2: you start hiding things and listen, it'd be true if 524 00:34:37,640 --> 00:34:41,359 Speaker 2: you started hiding your what you're spending money on. It's 525 00:34:41,400 --> 00:34:45,160 Speaker 2: not just if you were hiding an affair or or 526 00:34:45,320 --> 00:34:49,800 Speaker 2: even even you know, not an affair, just prostitution. What 527 00:34:50,080 --> 00:34:54,840 Speaker 2: you hide means your you trust less. If you trust it, 528 00:34:54,960 --> 00:34:58,439 Speaker 2: you would you would reveal it. Hiding only comes from 529 00:34:59,000 --> 00:35:04,319 Speaker 2: not trusting or or the certitude that it would be disastrous. 530 00:35:04,400 --> 00:35:08,000 Speaker 2: But in any event, hiding creates the barrier. When there 531 00:35:08,040 --> 00:35:10,880 Speaker 2: are barriers, you don't have a good relationship. I mean, 532 00:35:10,960 --> 00:35:13,680 Speaker 2: this is elementary, but it needs to be said, nevertheless, 533 00:35:15,040 --> 00:35:17,520 Speaker 2: then there is one other thing too, I and this 534 00:35:17,600 --> 00:35:22,640 Speaker 2: would go to the happiness hour more than anything else. Personally, 535 00:35:24,480 --> 00:35:28,720 Speaker 2: peace of mind is to me worth more than everything. 536 00:35:29,920 --> 00:35:33,839 Speaker 2: And it is impossible to have inner peace if you're 537 00:35:33,880 --> 00:35:40,960 Speaker 2: fooling around. It's impossible, whether justified not justified, angry not angry, whatever. 538 00:35:41,160 --> 00:35:45,680 Speaker 2: If you can't the price is too great. Fix the 539 00:35:45,800 --> 00:35:49,520 Speaker 2: marriage if it's unfixable, and if you've made every effort. Yes, 540 00:35:49,960 --> 00:35:52,640 Speaker 2: I do believe that divorce has to be an option. 541 00:35:53,800 --> 00:35:58,440 Speaker 2: Life is messy. This is Dennis Prager. I would love 542 00:35:58,480 --> 00:36:01,239 Speaker 2: to get your emails. You're listening to the Dennis Prager Show. 543 00:36:08,360 --> 00:36:11,160 Speaker 2: This has been Timeless Wisdom with Dennis Prager. 544 00:36:11,640 --> 00:36:15,680 Speaker 1: Visit Dennisprager dot com for thousands of hours of Dennis's lectures, 545 00:36:15,800 --> 00:36:20,280 Speaker 1: courses in classic radio programs, and to purchase Dennisprigger's Rational 546 00:36:20,440 --> 00:36:20,960 Speaker 1: Bibles 547 00:36:24,760 --> 00:36:25,120 Speaker 2: MHM