1
00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:01,440
Speaker 1: Nikki, a very good morning to you.

2
00:00:02,320 --> 00:00:05,400
Speaker 2: Good morning, and a very very happy New year to

3
00:00:05,440 --> 00:00:07,200
Speaker 2: you and to all of our listeners.

4
00:00:07,400 --> 00:00:10,240
Speaker 1: Thank you very much. Happy new Year to you too, Nikki.

5
00:00:10,960 --> 00:00:13,200
Speaker 1: So at the start of each new year, we know

6
00:00:13,240 --> 00:00:15,920
Speaker 1: we all make sort of our toasts on the first

7
00:00:15,960 --> 00:00:18,040
Speaker 1: of January or the thirty first of December into the

8
00:00:18,079 --> 00:00:20,919
Speaker 1: first we make our New years resolutions. But another big

9
00:00:20,920 --> 00:00:23,360
Speaker 1: part of the beginning of the year is the new

10
00:00:23,680 --> 00:00:27,480
Speaker 1: academic year, and that can be such an interesting mixed

11
00:00:27,520 --> 00:00:28,480
Speaker 1: bag of things.

12
00:00:29,360 --> 00:00:34,080
Speaker 2: Absolutely, so you know it's about change and changes unsettling,

13
00:00:34,440 --> 00:00:36,440
Speaker 2: but it's also the stimulus for growth.

14
00:00:36,520 --> 00:00:39,240
Speaker 3: And the trick really is to help your.

15
00:00:39,159 --> 00:00:43,360
Speaker 2: Child to keep perspective and dissolve their anxiety as quickly

16
00:00:43,400 --> 00:00:46,320
Speaker 2: as possible so that they can start enjoying themselves.

17
00:00:46,360 --> 00:00:49,319
Speaker 3: But we need to bear in mind that.

18
00:00:49,479 --> 00:00:54,040
Speaker 2: Every time our children overcome emotional hurdles like the beginning

19
00:00:54,080 --> 00:00:57,440
Speaker 2: of a year, the beginning of a term, new teachers,

20
00:00:57,480 --> 00:01:02,360
Speaker 2: new friends, new schools, that actually developing their resourcefulness and

21
00:01:02,400 --> 00:01:07,040
Speaker 2: their resilience, and both of these are incredibly important.

22
00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:08,480
Speaker 3: For their future success.

23
00:01:09,040 --> 00:01:14,240
Speaker 2: So don't get too tied up in anxiety and believe

24
00:01:14,319 --> 00:01:17,600
Speaker 2: that your child can handle this because they really can,

25
00:01:18,040 --> 00:01:21,440
Speaker 2: but they do need your support. And the first thing

26
00:01:21,480 --> 00:01:23,120
Speaker 2: that we need to do at this time of the

27
00:01:23,200 --> 00:01:28,520
Speaker 2: year is bring back routine, because routine is something that

28
00:01:28,600 --> 00:01:30,720
Speaker 2: provides predictability and safety.

29
00:01:31,319 --> 00:01:32,880
Speaker 3: And what's happened for the past.

30
00:01:32,640 --> 00:01:36,360
Speaker 2: Five weeks is that we have relaxed our routine on

31
00:01:36,480 --> 00:01:40,440
Speaker 2: purpose because we've been in a holiday mode. But what

32
00:01:40,520 --> 00:01:44,399
Speaker 2: we actually need, and it's not just our kids interestingly goods,

33
00:01:44,840 --> 00:01:48,440
Speaker 2: but even parents, need to go back to having a

34
00:01:48,520 --> 00:01:56,080
Speaker 2: regular routine. And that means that we understand that there

35
00:01:56,120 --> 00:01:59,720
Speaker 2: is an order in which things happen in the day,

36
00:02:00,200 --> 00:02:03,840
Speaker 2: and so we bring back that regular order of things.

37
00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:09,440
Speaker 2: Routine makes kids feel secure, so when they're going through

38
00:02:09,480 --> 00:02:12,519
Speaker 2: the change of a new teacher, new school, new friends, etc.

39
00:02:13,639 --> 00:02:17,079
Speaker 2: We need to give them that emotional anchor that helps

40
00:02:17,120 --> 00:02:20,480
Speaker 2: them really understand that it's going to be okay because

41
00:02:20,520 --> 00:02:25,960
Speaker 2: there's the sense of predictability, the boundaries that keep them safe.

42
00:02:26,080 --> 00:02:31,520
Speaker 2: They make us feel more in control, more organized, more focused,

43
00:02:32,200 --> 00:02:37,680
Speaker 2: and interestingly, school is based on routine, so once kids

44
00:02:37,800 --> 00:02:38,960
Speaker 2: go to school.

45
00:02:39,520 --> 00:02:41,880
Speaker 3: There is a bell for everything.

46
00:02:42,760 --> 00:02:46,760
Speaker 2: The teachers keep a very very tight routine even in

47
00:02:46,840 --> 00:02:50,880
Speaker 2: their classes and their lesson plans, so children actually thrive

48
00:02:51,400 --> 00:02:56,120
Speaker 2: on routine because they feel safe and they know what's

49
00:02:56,160 --> 00:03:01,680
Speaker 2: going to happen next. So don't underestimate how routine is

50
00:03:01,720 --> 00:03:06,000
Speaker 2: going to reduce your child's anxiety at this time.

51
00:03:06,240 --> 00:03:09,519
Speaker 1: Yeah, and you've spoken about this as well, Nikki, about

52
00:03:09,520 --> 00:03:14,240
Speaker 1: how those moments in the routine, which seem pretty simple

53
00:03:14,639 --> 00:03:16,960
Speaker 1: and they kind of very day to day, also offer

54
00:03:17,040 --> 00:03:21,800
Speaker 1: parents an opportunity to be focused on their kids, to

55
00:03:21,880 --> 00:03:24,560
Speaker 1: make sure that their kids feel kind of loved or

56
00:03:24,639 --> 00:03:27,400
Speaker 1: seen to or seen, which you know you often say

57
00:03:27,440 --> 00:03:30,000
Speaker 1: is one of the things kids need, quite it to.

58
00:03:30,040 --> 00:03:32,000
Speaker 1: One of the big needs kids have from their parents

59
00:03:32,040 --> 00:03:34,880
Speaker 1: is to feel as if they have their parents' attention,

60
00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:38,160
Speaker 1: their parents have seen them, And routine things like meal

61
00:03:38,240 --> 00:03:41,320
Speaker 1: times both times can be a really great way to

62
00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:45,400
Speaker 1: get that sort of one on one or focused attention

63
00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:46,680
Speaker 1: onto your kids.

64
00:03:47,240 --> 00:03:51,080
Speaker 2: Definitely, and daily routines are a bit like a heartbeat,

65
00:03:51,960 --> 00:03:56,600
Speaker 2: regulating the entire system and keeping it in good working order.

66
00:03:57,160 --> 00:04:01,000
Speaker 2: And really it's because of these points that I'm going

67
00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:05,840
Speaker 2: to mention now, when children have a good routine, which

68
00:04:05,880 --> 00:04:11,080
Speaker 2: means you're supporting them to self regulate, they understand this

69
00:04:11,120 --> 00:04:14,480
Speaker 2: is what we do, this is when we do it.

70
00:04:15,160 --> 00:04:18,920
Speaker 2: This is how we do it. These are your limits.

71
00:04:19,560 --> 00:04:22,680
Speaker 2: This is what is expected of you, and this is

72
00:04:22,720 --> 00:04:26,280
Speaker 2: what is expected of me. So let's go to your

73
00:04:26,360 --> 00:04:31,000
Speaker 2: point about attention. So this is what's expected of you,

74
00:04:31,240 --> 00:04:33,880
Speaker 2: an older child. We expect you to pack your bags

75
00:04:33,920 --> 00:04:36,920
Speaker 2: for school, make sure you've got the right books, make

76
00:04:36,960 --> 00:04:40,039
Speaker 2: sure you've got all your clothing and your shoes for

77
00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:44,680
Speaker 2: extramural activities. This is what's expected of me. I will

78
00:04:44,760 --> 00:04:46,760
Speaker 2: drive you to school. I will get you to school

79
00:04:46,760 --> 00:04:49,280
Speaker 2: on time. I will make sure that I am there

80
00:04:49,320 --> 00:04:52,120
Speaker 2: to collect you on time. I will be there to

81
00:04:52,200 --> 00:04:54,760
Speaker 2: watch you in the school play or to play your

82
00:04:55,040 --> 00:04:58,800
Speaker 2: rugby matches or your cricket matches, whatever it is. I

83
00:04:58,839 --> 00:05:03,080
Speaker 2: will make sure that you have what you need in

84
00:05:03,240 --> 00:05:08,279
Speaker 2: order to participate in activities at school. So that means

85
00:05:08,839 --> 00:05:11,279
Speaker 2: I will make sure you have your uniform. I will

86
00:05:11,320 --> 00:05:14,039
Speaker 2: make sure that you have all your stationary I will

87
00:05:14,040 --> 00:05:16,400
Speaker 2: make sure that you have what you need to do

88
00:05:16,520 --> 00:05:21,320
Speaker 2: extramural activities. So you can see this, serve and return

89
00:05:21,720 --> 00:05:26,200
Speaker 2: this commitment, and by the same token, you then expect

90
00:05:26,480 --> 00:05:30,120
Speaker 2: that your children will respect the items that you have

91
00:05:30,240 --> 00:05:33,239
Speaker 2: bought them, that they will take good care of them,

92
00:05:34,400 --> 00:05:39,560
Speaker 2: that they won't lose things. You know, it's things like that,

93
00:05:39,880 --> 00:05:43,640
Speaker 2: so that we know what is expected of each other,

94
00:05:44,040 --> 00:05:47,640
Speaker 2: which also makes children feel safe.

95
00:05:48,360 --> 00:05:50,599
Speaker 1: And also then I guess another big part of kind

96
00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:54,719
Speaker 1: of what you expect of each other is communicating openly,

97
00:05:54,880 --> 00:05:58,320
Speaker 1: so using I guess those moments and the routine for

98
00:05:58,400 --> 00:06:03,240
Speaker 1: open communication, but also you know, being very clear as

99
00:06:03,240 --> 00:06:06,599
Speaker 1: a parent about these are your responsibilities, these are my

100
00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:10,680
Speaker 1: responsibilities as a parent. So even that that open communication

101
00:06:10,800 --> 00:06:14,080
Speaker 1: children knowing what to expect and when, and knowing where

102
00:06:14,120 --> 00:06:17,280
Speaker 1: their boundaries are as well. That also providing you know

103
00:06:17,360 --> 00:06:20,200
Speaker 1: a system of they are safe, they know what to expect,

104
00:06:20,960 --> 00:06:23,000
Speaker 1: which is also just good for them, especially in a

105
00:06:23,040 --> 00:06:25,599
Speaker 1: big change or in a season of big change.

106
00:06:27,040 --> 00:06:30,440
Speaker 2: Yes, and part of routine is of course having a

107
00:06:30,480 --> 00:06:33,599
Speaker 2: regular wake up time and having a regular go to

108
00:06:33,680 --> 00:06:36,080
Speaker 2: bed time, which of course all of that has gone

109
00:06:36,120 --> 00:06:38,599
Speaker 2: out the window during the holidays, but we have to

110
00:06:38,640 --> 00:06:41,880
Speaker 2: bring that back for all of us when we're going

111
00:06:41,920 --> 00:06:46,200
Speaker 2: through change. We need more sleep, not less sleep, So

112
00:06:46,360 --> 00:06:49,880
Speaker 2: make sure that everybody is going to bed at the

113
00:06:49,920 --> 00:06:52,720
Speaker 2: right time. And this means that you're also going to

114
00:06:52,800 --> 00:06:57,719
Speaker 2: have to start limiting time spent on devices, time spent gaming,

115
00:06:57,920 --> 00:07:02,480
Speaker 2: time spent watching TV, spent on cell phones, and please

116
00:07:02,560 --> 00:07:04,720
Speaker 2: take cell phones away when your kids go to bed.

117
00:07:05,400 --> 00:07:08,599
Speaker 2: That is, you know, it's an interesting thing. When children

118
00:07:08,600 --> 00:07:12,360
Speaker 2: feel anxious, they are actually going to lean into social media,

119
00:07:12,720 --> 00:07:15,120
Speaker 2: which is the worst thing they can do. What they

120
00:07:15,160 --> 00:07:18,200
Speaker 2: need to be doing is to lean into you and

121
00:07:18,280 --> 00:07:21,880
Speaker 2: lean into more sleep. So please take the temptation away

122
00:07:21,880 --> 00:07:25,120
Speaker 2: from them and take those cell phones away at night

123
00:07:25,600 --> 00:07:28,320
Speaker 2: so that your kids are actually getting sleep or not

124
00:07:28,400 --> 00:07:31,840
Speaker 2: comparing their lives to others, because what's happening there is

125
00:07:31,880 --> 00:07:38,040
Speaker 2: they're just increasing their anxiety levels, so super super important.

126
00:07:39,920 --> 00:07:41,760
Speaker 1: And also, I guess at the beginning of the year

127
00:07:41,880 --> 00:07:45,680
Speaker 1: there can be a bit of anxiety, especially if you're

128
00:07:45,760 --> 00:07:48,000
Speaker 1: moving to a new class and new school and new grade.

129
00:07:48,400 --> 00:07:50,360
Speaker 1: Will I be good enough? Will I make friends or

130
00:07:50,440 --> 00:07:52,800
Speaker 1: my teachers like me? Will I be able to cope

131
00:07:52,840 --> 00:07:55,160
Speaker 1: with all of the work. And so it seems that

132
00:07:55,200 --> 00:07:58,240
Speaker 1: another big part of kind of preparing your kids and

133
00:07:58,320 --> 00:08:02,400
Speaker 1: capacitating them for the season of change is helping them

134
00:08:02,560 --> 00:08:05,640
Speaker 1: talk positively, especially about themselves.

135
00:08:07,560 --> 00:08:11,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's really good to have conversations with your children

136
00:08:11,600 --> 00:08:14,480
Speaker 2: where you can reflect the good parts of them back

137
00:08:14,600 --> 00:08:18,920
Speaker 2: at them. So helping them to talk about how they're

138
00:08:18,920 --> 00:08:24,120
Speaker 2: feeling and yes, it's okay to feel anxious, it's okay

139
00:08:24,160 --> 00:08:28,400
Speaker 2: to feel a little bit scared, and to talk to

140
00:08:28,480 --> 00:08:32,040
Speaker 2: them about how it felt for you. Now, people always

141
00:08:32,320 --> 00:08:34,520
Speaker 2: look at me and they go, what, you're so outgoing

142
00:08:34,600 --> 00:08:37,040
Speaker 2: and you're so out there, And I say, but do

143
00:08:37,040 --> 00:08:39,720
Speaker 2: you know how shy I was as a child. I

144
00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:43,400
Speaker 2: was that child who didn't like the first day of school.

145
00:08:43,720 --> 00:08:47,560
Speaker 2: I was that child who was anxious. I was the

146
00:08:47,679 --> 00:08:50,559
Speaker 2: child who cried the first few days of school. And

147
00:08:50,600 --> 00:08:54,080
Speaker 2: people go, NICKI, no, you did not, and I did.

148
00:08:54,640 --> 00:08:57,760
Speaker 2: I was that child, and so you may have been

149
00:08:57,800 --> 00:09:02,520
Speaker 2: that child too. In fact, I guarantee almost everybody was

150
00:09:02,559 --> 00:09:05,120
Speaker 2: that child at some point. And to be able to

151
00:09:05,160 --> 00:09:08,360
Speaker 2: share those moments with your child, to show them that

152
00:09:08,400 --> 00:09:11,880
Speaker 2: they're normal, that you were there too and you survived,

153
00:09:12,640 --> 00:09:15,559
Speaker 2: and what were your strategies for survival or what did

154
00:09:15,559 --> 00:09:19,160
Speaker 2: your parents do to make it easier for you? Because

155
00:09:19,160 --> 00:09:22,120
Speaker 2: that's also interesting because it's a two way street. It's

156
00:09:22,120 --> 00:09:24,680
Speaker 2: a serve and return, And so I've got a few

157
00:09:24,720 --> 00:09:28,360
Speaker 2: ideas here for parents of how you can help them

158
00:09:28,760 --> 00:09:32,880
Speaker 2: help your children to cope with the first day jitters,

159
00:09:33,040 --> 00:09:36,720
Speaker 2: the first week jitters, for some children, the first month

160
00:09:36,840 --> 00:09:40,319
Speaker 2: of jitters, and I was definitely that child who had

161
00:09:40,360 --> 00:09:41,960
Speaker 2: the first month jitters.

162
00:09:42,880 --> 00:09:44,600
Speaker 3: So if you've got a child.

163
00:09:44,720 --> 00:09:49,160
Speaker 2: Who is going into nursery school, so they're going into

164
00:09:49,200 --> 00:09:52,320
Speaker 2: nursery school, or they're going even i'd say right up

165
00:09:52,360 --> 00:09:56,520
Speaker 2: to grade two, you might like to do something like

166
00:09:56,600 --> 00:10:01,960
Speaker 2: this where you take a nice black cochi pen and

167
00:10:02,040 --> 00:10:05,280
Speaker 2: you draw a heart on the back of their hand,

168
00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:09,880
Speaker 2: and that is the reminder every time they look at

169
00:10:09,880 --> 00:10:12,199
Speaker 2: that heart that you're going to be thinking of them

170
00:10:12,240 --> 00:10:16,400
Speaker 2: all day and that you will be there to fetch

171
00:10:16,440 --> 00:10:18,679
Speaker 2: them at the end of the day. Or we might

172
00:10:18,760 --> 00:10:20,880
Speaker 2: want to do it in the inside of their wrist,

173
00:10:21,480 --> 00:10:26,200
Speaker 2: something like that, just a very visual anchor, a visual

174
00:10:26,240 --> 00:10:31,000
Speaker 2: reminder that you are with them in spirit even though

175
00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:36,600
Speaker 2: you're not with them in person. And it's amazing how

176
00:10:36,640 --> 00:10:39,760
Speaker 2: that can help them when they're feeling a little bit

177
00:10:39,840 --> 00:10:43,440
Speaker 2: down during the day, when they see that symbol that

178
00:10:43,520 --> 00:10:47,400
Speaker 2: they can feel that love and that closeness to you

179
00:10:47,920 --> 00:10:51,640
Speaker 2: and that they will cope and they will survive. Then

180
00:10:51,679 --> 00:10:56,960
Speaker 2: I want you to think about which adult mum or

181
00:10:57,080 --> 00:11:01,880
Speaker 2: dad is more anxious about their children going to school,

182
00:11:03,240 --> 00:11:07,439
Speaker 2: because your own anxiety is actually very infectious.

183
00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:10,840
Speaker 3: So you want the least infectious.

184
00:11:10,120 --> 00:11:13,800
Speaker 2: Parent to do the drop off in the first few

185
00:11:13,880 --> 00:11:15,720
Speaker 2: days of a new school year.

186
00:11:16,760 --> 00:11:18,800
Speaker 3: So in our family that was my husband.

187
00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:22,880
Speaker 2: He was the least anxious parent, and so he did

188
00:11:23,120 --> 00:11:26,040
Speaker 2: the school dropoff for the first few days or weeks

189
00:11:26,360 --> 00:11:32,240
Speaker 2: rather than me, because my anxiety was infectious. So maternal

190
00:11:32,280 --> 00:11:38,760
Speaker 2: anxiety can actually be something that your children can actually

191
00:11:39,080 --> 00:11:43,720
Speaker 2: use against you. And mums do have a much bigger

192
00:11:43,760 --> 00:11:48,439
Speaker 2: guilt gland than dads have, and so children can tend

193
00:11:48,480 --> 00:11:52,040
Speaker 2: to manipulate mums more than they manipulate dads. So the

194
00:11:52,080 --> 00:11:55,320
Speaker 2: message here is if you can swap drop off rules

195
00:11:55,360 --> 00:11:59,000
Speaker 2: for a few days, it could be to your advantage

196
00:11:59,440 --> 00:12:02,240
Speaker 2: as well as your child's advantage.

197
00:12:02,679 --> 00:12:03,600
Speaker 3: Then you might like.

198
00:12:03,640 --> 00:12:07,000
Speaker 2: To dangle a carrot. I like to say dangle a

199
00:12:07,040 --> 00:12:11,040
Speaker 2: carrot because some anxious children need to have their focus

200
00:12:11,520 --> 00:12:15,520
Speaker 2: extended beyond the scary school day that is making them

201
00:12:15,520 --> 00:12:20,400
Speaker 2: feel anxious, to pull them through the settling period at

202
00:12:20,400 --> 00:12:23,520
Speaker 2: the start of the year. This works particularly well for

203
00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:28,199
Speaker 2: preschooters up to about grade two, where you could say something.

204
00:12:27,880 --> 00:12:30,480
Speaker 3: Like this, and I did this with my kids. After

205
00:12:30,520 --> 00:12:31,920
Speaker 3: school today, We're.

206
00:12:31,720 --> 00:12:34,240
Speaker 2: Going to go and buy a goldfish, or we're going

207
00:12:34,240 --> 00:12:37,000
Speaker 2: to have tea with Granny, or we are going to

208
00:12:37,040 --> 00:12:39,160
Speaker 2: go and see this was the one that really worked

209
00:12:39,160 --> 00:12:44,640
Speaker 2: so well, see the snakes in the pet shop, or

210
00:12:44,800 --> 00:12:47,760
Speaker 2: the kittens and the puppies in the pet shop. Whatever

211
00:12:47,800 --> 00:12:50,520
Speaker 2: it was for my kids at the time, I would

212
00:12:50,559 --> 00:12:57,280
Speaker 2: find something that they really connected with emotionally and that

213
00:12:57,360 --> 00:13:00,000
Speaker 2: would be the thing we were going to do after school,

214
00:13:00,800 --> 00:13:04,080
Speaker 2: so that they had something to look forward to. So

215
00:13:04,240 --> 00:13:07,920
Speaker 2: just pick something simple that we'll excite your child. It

216
00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:10,160
Speaker 2: does not have to be I'm going to take you

217
00:13:10,240 --> 00:13:13,760
Speaker 2: to buy X y Z. It's not about being fancy

218
00:13:13,880 --> 00:13:19,120
Speaker 2: or expensive. It's about the anticipation that's important. And for

219
00:13:19,240 --> 00:13:24,000
Speaker 2: children who have grandparents or aunts and uncles, it could

220
00:13:24,080 --> 00:13:26,760
Speaker 2: be just will go and visit Auntie so and so

221
00:13:26,920 --> 00:13:30,040
Speaker 2: and you can tell them all about your new school

222
00:13:30,120 --> 00:13:32,679
Speaker 2: or your new class, or your new friends or your

223
00:13:32,720 --> 00:13:37,040
Speaker 2: new teacher. Then doing things with your children, So we

224
00:13:37,120 --> 00:13:40,400
Speaker 2: go back to what you said earlier of paying attention

225
00:13:41,120 --> 00:13:45,840
Speaker 2: to your children. Now, some children are verbal and they'll

226
00:13:45,840 --> 00:13:49,400
Speaker 2: want to talk about their first day at school or

227
00:13:49,440 --> 00:13:53,200
Speaker 2: the first few days or few weeks. Some children don't

228
00:13:53,240 --> 00:13:58,079
Speaker 2: want to talk. So an actual activity with your children,

229
00:13:58,400 --> 00:14:03,960
Speaker 2: you know, family activity of going riding on bikes in

230
00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:07,640
Speaker 2: the evening, once mom and dad are both home, or

231
00:14:07,720 --> 00:14:12,480
Speaker 2: playing cricket or rounders in the garden, or doing hopscotch

232
00:14:12,559 --> 00:14:15,600
Speaker 2: in the driveway. And it's summer. If you have the

233
00:14:15,679 --> 00:14:18,640
Speaker 2: luxury of having a swimming pool, maybe it's having a

234
00:14:18,679 --> 00:14:23,400
Speaker 2: family swim before dinner or before bathtime. This togetherness time

235
00:14:24,040 --> 00:14:27,840
Speaker 2: leads to bonding and creates a sense of security. And

236
00:14:27,880 --> 00:14:31,920
Speaker 2: for some children, they're actually going to talk more when

237
00:14:31,920 --> 00:14:34,760
Speaker 2: you're out walking or cycling than if you sit them

238
00:14:34,800 --> 00:14:38,400
Speaker 2: down and say, now, tell me about your day. So

239
00:14:38,520 --> 00:14:42,120
Speaker 2: we need to understand that connection in a physical sense

240
00:14:42,160 --> 00:14:49,480
Speaker 2: sometimes brings out more communication. And then this multisensory magic.

241
00:14:51,320 --> 00:14:57,160
Speaker 2: Keep your multisensory playdo and painting and stuff like that.

242
00:14:57,240 --> 00:15:00,960
Speaker 2: In your kitchen, get your kids involved in cooking with you.

243
00:15:01,640 --> 00:15:06,120
Speaker 2: Anything that is multisensory is going to be helpful because

244
00:15:06,200 --> 00:15:09,960
Speaker 2: it destresses your children and as adults. Even if you

245
00:15:10,080 --> 00:15:14,120
Speaker 2: play with some press stick or a piece of plato,

246
00:15:14,320 --> 00:15:18,880
Speaker 2: I promise you you will be easing away your stress.

247
00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:24,320
Speaker 2: It's a destresser, so don't underestimate that. And then movement,

248
00:15:24,640 --> 00:15:27,840
Speaker 2: any kind of movement, is going to relax your children,

249
00:15:28,240 --> 00:15:31,360
Speaker 2: whether whether it's playing rough and tumble with them, whether

250
00:15:31,400 --> 00:15:34,840
Speaker 2: it's playing hide and seek with friends and siblings or

251
00:15:35,120 --> 00:15:38,520
Speaker 2: whether it is playing sport, it's going to raise the

252
00:15:38,600 --> 00:15:42,360
Speaker 2: endorphins and those happiness hormones, and your kids are going

253
00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:46,760
Speaker 2: to settle much easier if they move, if they use

254
00:15:46,800 --> 00:15:50,120
Speaker 2: lots of sensors, and if they have routine.

255
00:15:50,320 --> 00:15:55,000
Speaker 1: Nikki, In what instance should parents be I guess concerned

256
00:15:55,080 --> 00:15:58,880
Speaker 1: and maybe consider professional how if their kids are when

257
00:15:58,920 --> 00:16:01,280
Speaker 1: their kids are still dealing with the beginning of the

258
00:16:01,800 --> 00:16:04,480
Speaker 1: new school year jitters. So if your child is still

259
00:16:04,520 --> 00:16:07,520
Speaker 1: reluctant to go to school, or they're not sleeping so

260
00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:10,880
Speaker 1: they're not settling into the routine, or they keep trying

261
00:16:10,920 --> 00:16:13,000
Speaker 1: to get out of school, Oh Mama, have a headache

262
00:16:13,160 --> 00:16:18,560
Speaker 1: or whichummy, Yeah, that's.

263
00:16:18,040 --> 00:16:23,480
Speaker 4: The one that they'll often Yeah, which is to be concerned? Yeah,

264
00:16:23,760 --> 00:16:27,200
Speaker 4: if it I think if it continues day in day

265
00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:32,520
Speaker 4: out for probably you know, over two weeks, I would

266
00:16:32,560 --> 00:16:35,960
Speaker 4: tend to be a little bit concerned. And what I'd

267
00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:39,600
Speaker 4: want to know is if it is something they only

268
00:16:39,680 --> 00:16:42,640
Speaker 4: do with you as as their parent, or is it

269
00:16:42,720 --> 00:16:46,440
Speaker 4: something that continues throughout the school day, that's when you

270
00:16:46,480 --> 00:16:47,479
Speaker 4: should be concerned.

271
00:16:47,880 --> 00:16:50,720
Speaker 2: So even in the first week. You could say to

272
00:16:50,760 --> 00:16:53,480
Speaker 2: the teacher, or my child is complaining of a sawt

273
00:16:53,520 --> 00:16:55,359
Speaker 2: tummy every morning before school.

274
00:16:55,680 --> 00:16:57,600
Speaker 3: But if the teacher turns around and says, but.

275
00:16:59,040 --> 00:17:03,640
Speaker 2: Supersiso is actually so happy at school, then you can

276
00:17:03,720 --> 00:17:09,119
Speaker 2: actually go, oh, okay, so they're actually vying for my

277
00:17:09,200 --> 00:17:13,760
Speaker 2: attention in the morning or maybe manipulating me. And nine

278
00:17:13,760 --> 00:17:15,760
Speaker 2: times out of ten, I promise your kids are fine

279
00:17:15,800 --> 00:17:19,359
Speaker 2: at school. And so you want to see if the

280
00:17:19,440 --> 00:17:24,199
Speaker 2: behavior you're seeing at home is consistent at school or not,

281
00:17:24,960 --> 00:17:28,600
Speaker 2: because that's the tell tale sign. If your child is

282
00:17:28,680 --> 00:17:32,720
Speaker 2: crying at school, if your child can't make friends at school,

283
00:17:32,960 --> 00:17:36,439
Speaker 2: if your child is staying in the classroom instead of

284
00:17:36,440 --> 00:17:39,720
Speaker 2: going out at break time, the teacher will notice that,

285
00:17:40,440 --> 00:17:43,199
Speaker 2: and so you need to then see this full picture

286
00:17:43,280 --> 00:17:44,080
Speaker 2: and put it together.

287
00:17:44,560 --> 00:17:46,080
Speaker 3: So you need evidence.

288
00:17:47,040 --> 00:17:50,720
Speaker 2: So that's what I would say to parents is don't

289
00:17:50,760 --> 00:17:54,439
Speaker 2: just take what's happening at home as the gospel truth.

290
00:17:55,040 --> 00:17:57,639
Speaker 2: You need to see if what's happening at home is

291
00:17:57,680 --> 00:18:02,040
Speaker 2: happening at school as well, and if it is, then

292
00:18:02,280 --> 00:18:05,920
Speaker 2: it's time to really have that serious conversation with your

293
00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:08,960
Speaker 2: teacher and look for some strategies to help your child

294
00:18:09,040 --> 00:18:09,639
Speaker 2: cope better.

295
00:18:09,960 --> 00:18:13,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, a message here from Alvis on what's app says,

296
00:18:13,080 --> 00:18:15,520
Speaker 1: morning Gogs, Happy New Year. What I did for my

297
00:18:15,640 --> 00:18:18,400
Speaker 1: daughter just before she started her grade one, I would

298
00:18:18,440 --> 00:18:21,480
Speaker 1: take my friend's child to school, who was already doing

299
00:18:21,520 --> 00:18:25,439
Speaker 1: grade two there, and they were friends, so she always

300
00:18:25,440 --> 00:18:28,080
Speaker 1: wanted to go with her to school because it made

301
00:18:28,080 --> 00:18:30,560
Speaker 1: it easy for her on the first day rather than

302
00:18:30,680 --> 00:18:33,639
Speaker 1: being scared of school on that first day. So finding

303
00:18:33,640 --> 00:18:37,760
Speaker 1: them a buddy, I guess at yeah, and just making

304
00:18:37,920 --> 00:18:39,680
Speaker 1: friends less scared.

305
00:18:40,680 --> 00:18:42,760
Speaker 2: I'm going to end with a little story here, Gigs,

306
00:18:43,040 --> 00:18:46,320
Speaker 2: and that is because this holiday we actually had friends

307
00:18:46,359 --> 00:18:49,800
Speaker 2: come to visit and they were the family we had.

308
00:18:49,720 --> 00:18:51,600
Speaker 3: A lift club with at school.

309
00:18:51,640 --> 00:18:58,520
Speaker 2: And my youngest who's now twenty five, was five, no

310
00:18:58,560 --> 00:19:02,840
Speaker 2: about six seven years younger than them, and they used

311
00:19:02,880 --> 00:19:05,760
Speaker 2: to run him into the classroom when I did the lift,

312
00:19:06,320 --> 00:19:09,280
Speaker 2: they would run him into the classroom. And this was

313
00:19:09,320 --> 00:19:11,440
Speaker 2: the favorite time of the day for all of them,

314
00:19:12,320 --> 00:19:15,479
Speaker 2: was running him into the classroom. And they were all

315
00:19:15,600 --> 00:19:20,240
Speaker 2: talking about that this holiday, of how much they all

316
00:19:20,320 --> 00:19:26,080
Speaker 2: loved those moments together, and my youngest just absolutely reveled

317
00:19:26,080 --> 00:19:29,919
Speaker 2: in the attention and the confidence it gave him to

318
00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:34,080
Speaker 2: have the attention of these older almost like siblings. So

319
00:19:34,160 --> 00:19:36,760
Speaker 2: he had these extra children in his life who would

320
00:19:36,840 --> 00:19:39,000
Speaker 2: like siblings, who gave him so much confidence.

321
00:19:39,200 --> 00:19:40,320
Speaker 3: So Elvis, thank you for that.

322
00:19:41,400 --> 00:19:43,680
Speaker 1: Nikki has always a great pleasure having you on the show.

323
00:19:43,720 --> 00:19:45,040
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for your time.

324
00:19:46,160 --> 00:19:48,400
Speaker 2: Thanks Gergs, and good luck to all those parents out

325
00:19:48,400 --> 00:19:49,200
Speaker 2: there for next week.

326
00:19:49,280 --> 00:19:50,040
Speaker 3: Thank you very much.

327
00:19:50,080 --> 00:19:53,600
Speaker 1: That's our resident human potential and parenting expert, Nikki Bosh