WEBVTT - NPO: Transforming communities one man at a time

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<v Speaker 1>Wake. It's your early breakfast with Africa Milani. Eight minutes

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<v Speaker 1>nine is two five o'clock. A movement is in place,

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<v Speaker 1>rooted in the belief that real community change begins by

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<v Speaker 1>creating safe spaces for men to open up, to heal

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<v Speaker 1>and to grow. That movement is called Men Stand Tall.

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<v Speaker 1>Dennis Stander is the founder of the movement. Let me

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<v Speaker 1>welcome him to the show now, Dennis, A very good

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<v Speaker 1>morning and welcome to the show.

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<v Speaker 2>Good morning Africa, good morning. Thank you for the opportunity. Wow,

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<v Speaker 2>it's nice and early, and I'm in gred these other

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<v Speaker 2>people that's awaken.

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<v Speaker 1>Yes, now there are quite a few who are awake

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<v Speaker 1>at this time on a Friday morning. What inspired you

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<v Speaker 1>to start Men Stand Tall?

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<v Speaker 2>Azrika? This happened in COVID when we as men couldn't escape,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, when when we want space to believe, when

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<v Speaker 2>we get into a hot space and we say, I'm

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<v Speaker 2>want to take a walk, I just want to get

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<v Speaker 2>out of here, and COVID actually restricted us from moving.

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<v Speaker 2>And I was challenged with so what do I do

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<v Speaker 2>with my emotions when I can't run away from situations?

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<v Speaker 2>And so I'm I'm a believer in Christ and God

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<v Speaker 2>started speaking to me about being the head of a home.

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<v Speaker 2>What that looks like as a man. Do you do

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<v Speaker 2>you deal with your emotions or do you just keep

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<v Speaker 2>it in a society has taught us as men to

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<v Speaker 2>suppress and not express. And so over that time you

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<v Speaker 2>heard a lot about men that couldn't deal with with

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<v Speaker 2>confined spaces, that that committed suicide over the COVID period,

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<v Speaker 2>and I thought of how do I stand to in

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<v Speaker 2>my home as a man and a leader for for

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<v Speaker 2>my wife and I'm a newborn, and just navigating that

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<v Speaker 2>through COVID started this movement called Men Stand Toll And

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<v Speaker 2>our catchphrase is men stand toll and on our knees before,

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<v Speaker 2>because that's where we find strengths. I think I grew

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<v Speaker 2>closer to God in COVID because he taught me a

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<v Speaker 2>lot about who I am and who I am. So yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>that's just the foundation of where it's started.

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<v Speaker 1>Because we we have to sadly accept that for some men,

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<v Speaker 1>and it's not all men we should acknowledge, but for

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<v Speaker 1>some men it is difficult to open up to talk

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<v Speaker 1>about feelings. And it's only when you open up and

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<v Speaker 1>are able to be vulnerable about those feelings that you

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<v Speaker 1>can begin the process to heal, can't you?

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<v Speaker 2>Yes? Again? As we would, We were taught that as men,

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<v Speaker 2>boys don't cry. Men don't cry in my community, the

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<v Speaker 2>city had to keep in your tears because you're giving

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<v Speaker 2>away power. You a recurrence, they say, And so so

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<v Speaker 2>we have this god exterior, but inside we crying. We're

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<v Speaker 2>yearning to do to express. So you go into a

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<v Speaker 2>corner and you cry, and said, nobody sees it because

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<v Speaker 2>there's judgments when they see tears, and and now how

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<v Speaker 2>do you deal with these kind of things? And me

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<v Speaker 2>growing up on the paperods, it was a big thing

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<v Speaker 2>because you you had to own yourself as a boy

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<v Speaker 2>from young already. But I'm learning that by me keeping

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<v Speaker 2>my in my emotions, I became weaker because when the

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<v Speaker 2>emotions really come out, then it comes out with the

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<v Speaker 2>wrong people. And so so it's not directly to to

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<v Speaker 2>to the right energies inside of you. And that's why

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<v Speaker 2>I think we have campaigns like gender based violence. I

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<v Speaker 2>believe the bully was bullied, and because he was bullied,

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<v Speaker 2>he got this exterior that that sees I'm going to

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<v Speaker 2>be tough, but inside, amen, we've broken as men. So

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<v Speaker 2>we'll be looking at spaces where we can create for

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<v Speaker 2>men to come shape and not say only about sports

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<v Speaker 2>or cars. All these kind share what we feel without

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<v Speaker 2>prejudice and judgment.

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<v Speaker 1>And that's king. What programs do you offer, Dennis?

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<v Speaker 2>So there's these different programs that we we busy with. Currently,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm working with with boys in a community called a

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<v Speaker 2>Nova Park. And our question that we're just facing is

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<v Speaker 2>what is a man? What is a boy? And we

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<v Speaker 2>untack this and we were so stuggling to get to

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<v Speaker 2>those answers. But what is nice is that you're getting

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<v Speaker 2>other men to talk about what they perceive as men.

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<v Speaker 2>We even go google what it says about what a

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<v Speaker 2>man is, We go revisit what our communities say a

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<v Speaker 2>man is. Are the role models in our communities? Can

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<v Speaker 2>you name them? Are the bad role models in our communities?

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<v Speaker 2>Can they name them? And the sad thing is we

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<v Speaker 2>can name more bread role models and good role models.

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<v Speaker 2>So we're looking at changing that narrative in the programs

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<v Speaker 2>that run. Also, we also run a methodological post post

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<v Speaker 2>and post stands for Power of Storytelling where we unearthed

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<v Speaker 2>people's stories, where we start owning our own stories for

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<v Speaker 2>too long, other people have been telling our stories. But

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<v Speaker 2>when you start owning your story, you've then view that Amen,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm validated, my story counts, my story matters.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm going to direct listeners to your website, which is

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<v Speaker 1>Men Stand Tall dot co dot z A to read

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<v Speaker 1>up more, of course, about the work that you do

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<v Speaker 1>and more importantly, how they can help. You've got an

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<v Speaker 1>event coming up on the thirteenth of September, a karaoke

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<v Speaker 1>and laughter fundraiser.

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<v Speaker 2>Yes, yes, so we I'm also into the arts. I'm

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<v Speaker 2>a professional actor, but I'm a script writer, poet. All

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<v Speaker 2>the things in the arts are just down play an instrument.

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<v Speaker 2>So we're using this fundraiser Karaoke, Old School and laughter

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<v Speaker 2>to raise funds for MENSTAN tools that we can go

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<v Speaker 2>into more communities. We also do youth camps, camps for

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<v Speaker 2>boys and girls as well, and so this is to

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<v Speaker 2>raise funds for for us as an organization, but it's

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<v Speaker 2>also creating a space where we can just break away

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<v Speaker 2>from the noise, from the strips, from anxiety, where you

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<v Speaker 2>can come and just breathe in and sing and we

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<v Speaker 2>sing along and we don't and we have comedians that

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<v Speaker 2>tell jokes just to after is a healer. So all

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<v Speaker 2>these intaments we bring together into one space and we

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<v Speaker 2>uploft our communities and we've been doing it now for

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<v Speaker 2>the past three months. And ahmen, it's not an event,

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<v Speaker 2>it's an experience. So to our experience we ask Brunnby hears.

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<v Speaker 1>Men stand told. That's CEO dot tod Or you'll find

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<v Speaker 1>out more details about the work that Dennis Standard, the

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<v Speaker 1>founder of the movement. Dennis, thank you very much indeed

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<v Speaker 1>for your time. It's a very important work that you're

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<v Speaker 1>doing where you're inviting men into a safe space for

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<v Speaker 1>them to open up, to heal and to grow