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Speaker 1: Seven oh two Weekend Breakfast and Parenting with Nicky Bush.

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Speaker 2: Twelve minutes after eight o'clock. Time for us to talk parenting.

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Speaker 2: And this morning we're talking about understanding picky eating in children.

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Speaker 2: Many children go through phases where they don't like certain foods,

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Speaker 2: or certain textures or certain smells. Sometimes those adults, those

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Speaker 2: children then become adults who are still quite picky. And

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Speaker 2: so this morning we're talking about understanding picky eating in children,

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Speaker 2: and hopefully if you better understand it, you might be

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Speaker 2: able to support your children. And I asked you currently

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Speaker 2: have a picky eat in your home? Maybe your kids

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Speaker 2: are a little bit older now and they now eat

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Speaker 2: a lot more than they did maybe when they were

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Speaker 2: toddlers where you know, that's usually where kind of that

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Speaker 2: beige food phase happens. So if your kids are all

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Speaker 2: grown up now, what were some of the things they

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Speaker 2: wouldn't eat when they were younger? What were the ways

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Speaker 2: in which they were picky eaters? They let us go

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Speaker 2: on O double one, eight three or seven oh two,

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Speaker 2: Send a sa semesis I'm three on seven oh two,

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Speaker 2: and your WhatsApps on seven two, seven two one seven

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Speaker 2: or two joint as always by our resident human potential

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Speaker 2: and parenting experts, Nikki Posh Nikki, good morning to you,

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Speaker 2: a great pleasure having you on the show.

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Speaker 1: Good morning, go ex then to all our listeners.

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Speaker 2: So this morning we're talking about a thing many a

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Speaker 2: parent has style to earth where and sometimes it comes

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Speaker 2: in phases or in waves where there are times where

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Speaker 2: kids just will not eat what's put in front of them.

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Speaker 2: There are certain textures, certain smells, certain tastes that they

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Speaker 2: go through some kind of a phase not wanting, and

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Speaker 2: so they'll be called, you know, picky eaters because they

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Speaker 2: don't really want what's on offer. They generally want certain

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Speaker 2: things or you know. And so this morning we're looking

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Speaker 2: at this issue of how to deal with a picky

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Speaker 2: or a fussy eater in your home. Let's start here,

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Speaker 2: what are some of the reasons children could be fussy

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Speaker 2: or picky eaters.

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Speaker 1: I think we should start off by just differentiating between

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Speaker 1: a sensory processing disorder, because some children really do have

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Speaker 1: sensory processing disorders where a particular smell makes them gag

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Speaker 1: or even vomit, or a particular texture or even colors,

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Speaker 1: you know, that can be a sensory processing disorder and

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Speaker 1: for that, you would go to a speech and language

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Speaker 1: therapist who specializes in oral sensory issues, and even an

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Speaker 1: occupational therapist would be helpful in this situation. So that's

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Speaker 1: when there's an absolute disorder. What I want to talk

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Speaker 1: about today is not the disorder so much as behavioral issues.

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Speaker 1: And you mentioned the beige phase and somewhere, but in

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Speaker 1: the age of two and three, all children discover they

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Speaker 1: suddenly have a bit of control over their world, and

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Speaker 1: sometimes they choose to control their world through their food.

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Speaker 1: And that's when you may have a phase when they

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Speaker 1: won't eat certain foods and they become fussy. But what

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Speaker 1: I really want to move on to is the fact

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Speaker 1: that by the time these children are five or six,

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Speaker 1: or ten or eleven, we have children who are so

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Speaker 1: fussy because they've been allowed to be fussy. So we're

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Speaker 1: talking the behavioral side of things. That the very limited

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Speaker 1: menu that you get in a restaurant, the kiddie's menu.

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Speaker 1: The kiddie's menu in a restaurant typically has chicken nuggets

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Speaker 1: on it, or fish fingers or chicken strips and chips,

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Speaker 1: things that are very fast foody. Okay, we totally understand

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Speaker 1: why you would have a very limited menu in a

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Speaker 1: restaurant because you don't want to be paying for things

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Speaker 1: your kids won't eat. But parents have defaulted to giving

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Speaker 1: their children these kinds of things at home, as well

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Speaker 1: as kind of fast foody things that require very little

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Speaker 1: chewing so they're easy to eat. The child doesn't have

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Speaker 1: to make much effort. They can maybe eat them in

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Speaker 1: their in their with their fingers, not with a knife

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Speaker 1: and fork, and and so the diet also becomes fairly

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Speaker 1: boring and bland, which means if you introduce anything else,

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Speaker 1: your child is going to push back. And that's really

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Speaker 1: what I want to talk about, because when we talk

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Speaker 1: about future proofing children, we focus very much today on

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Speaker 1: adaptability and flexibility, and that should go across everything in

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Speaker 1: your child's life, including what they are prepared to eat

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Speaker 1: or not. And what's really disturbing is when you see

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Speaker 1: children who are going to friends' homes or you're going

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Speaker 1: to a friend for a meal on the weekend, and

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Speaker 1: your children won't eat what's put in front of them.

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Speaker 1: And that is something that we really need to be

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Speaker 1: working on, because remember, we also have good manners and respect,

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Speaker 1: and you might not be served the same food in

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Speaker 1: somebody else's home as you get in your own home.

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Speaker 1: So what can we do as parents to make sure

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Speaker 1: that our children are more adaptable and flexible when it

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Speaker 1: comes to what they're eating. And we're talking about children

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Speaker 1: who do not have sensory processing issues, which means we're

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Speaker 1: talking about the bulk of children.

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Speaker 2: And so for many parents, I guess even in that

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Speaker 2: sort of as you say, there's a point in their

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Speaker 2: very early development, kids figure out that, oh I can

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Speaker 2: exert some control over you know, what I wear, what

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Speaker 2: I eat, when I go to bed, if I should shower.

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Speaker 2: Kids start learning the word no or you know, start

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Speaker 2: kind of pushing back, and when it comes to eating,

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Speaker 2: some parents might find themselves in this kind of difficult

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Speaker 2: position where they think, well, if I try to feed

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Speaker 2: them something that's not beige, they're not going to eat it.

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Speaker 2: But if I feed them the beige food, then they'll

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Speaker 2: eat it, and the priority sort of becomes well, as

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Speaker 2: long as they eat it might not be what I

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Speaker 2: had hoped for them to eat what the rest of

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Speaker 2: us are eating, but as long as they eat, and

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Speaker 2: is that I guess a valid concern to kind of go.

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Speaker 2: You know, maybe you as a parent, right now what

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Speaker 2: you're concerned about is that your child eats, even if

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Speaker 2: it is these dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. So I think there's a time and we all

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Speaker 1: go through it. I went through it. I remember my

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Speaker 1: grandson around the age of I think it was about

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Speaker 1: two and a half, just wouldn't eat for a literally,

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Speaker 1: it was about probably about four or six weeks. He

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Speaker 1: was exerting his control. And you know what the thing

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Speaker 1: is when they go through that phase, and even when

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Speaker 1: you're introducing new foods, because I think this is one

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Speaker 1: of the problems that we create for ourselves when we

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Speaker 1: become hyper reactive as parents. When we make a thing

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Speaker 1: of food, then our children know they found the hot

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Speaker 1: button and they know which button to press. So we

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Speaker 1: need to remain as even as possible. So when you

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Speaker 1: start introducing solids to your baby, when you start introducing

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Speaker 1: new foods to your toddler, beyond the baby food, we

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Speaker 1: need to make it like an every day it comes

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Speaker 1: that it's not a big issue. I think so much

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Speaker 1: of this lands up being a problem we've created ourselves.

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Speaker 1: We've created a big issue. We've blown it out of proportion.

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Speaker 1: And I remember when my son wouldn't eat whatever was

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Speaker 1: put in front of him. When he was really little,

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Speaker 1: he ended up eating brass crispies and leftover stuff from

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Speaker 1: the night before. And I was in that phase of well,

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Speaker 1: as long as he's eating, as long as he's eating,

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Speaker 1: and you know what, he passed through that within a

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Speaker 1: couple of weeks and then we were back to eating

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Speaker 1: normal food. So children also today, what I observe is

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Speaker 1: they have too much choice. And I've been speaking about

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Speaker 1: this for a long long time. The commercialization of childhood

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Speaker 1: has given everybody more choice and given children a lot

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Speaker 1: of choice when it comes to what they watch on TV,

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Speaker 1: what games they play on our phones or on computers,

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Speaker 1: what they see in the shops. And so this plethora

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Speaker 1: of choice is also very almost unnerving for children to

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Speaker 1: begin with. So we need to give our children boundaries.

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Speaker 1: Then we default to giving children getting Children get their

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Speaker 1: own way with their parents, and that's largely because parents

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Speaker 1: don't spend more than two to three hours with their

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Speaker 1: children a day, waking hours because everybody's at work and

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Speaker 1: children are at school or in daycare. When parents are

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Speaker 1: with their children, they take the path of least resistance

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Speaker 1: because they want to be with be their child's friend.

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Speaker 1: And then the other issue that I see all the time,

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Speaker 1: and I do not understand this is that parents will

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Speaker 1: say what would you like for supper or what would

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Speaker 1: you like for lunch? When they have two or three children.

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Speaker 1: Are they actually going to make two or three different meals?

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Speaker 1: You're just making a rod for your back. And then

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Speaker 1: parents not teach teaching children how to use implements like

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Speaker 1: knives and forks. So if you think about American dietary culture,

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Speaker 1: they have used a fork forever. In fact, if you

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Speaker 1: can't cut something up with a fork, then it's not

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Speaker 1: soft enough. So the whole fast food culture thing is

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Speaker 1: that the food is almost semi digested before it lands

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Speaker 1: up on your plate. And if you think of fast foods,

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Speaker 1: they are soft, they are processed. The hamburger or chicken

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Speaker 1: burger meat is already it's already gone through a mensa,

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Speaker 1: so you don't have to chew it. So children are

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Speaker 1: actually not learning how to cut food up. They're not

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Speaker 1: learning how to chew food. And so that entire system

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Speaker 1: of you know what we need for good speech, which

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Speaker 1: is the jaw, the lips, the tongue, and the cheeks

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Speaker 1: are not being exercised. In the way that they used to.

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Speaker 1: So if your child lands up in speech therapy, apart

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Speaker 1: from the fact that you know they'll do certain exercises

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Speaker 1: with your child and send you home with straws and

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Speaker 1: different shape things for your child to suck or blow,

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Speaker 1: they will also tell you to get your child chewing gum,

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Speaker 1: to have food that has more resistance in it, like

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Speaker 1: a piece of meat or a piece of chicken, not

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Speaker 1: just a soft diet. And then the final thing is

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Speaker 1: that children are not learning how to eat because it's

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Speaker 1: dinner time or because it's lunchtime. They are taking their

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Speaker 1: cue from being put in front of a screen. So

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Speaker 1: a lot of children won't eat unless the iPad is

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Speaker 1: on or mum's phone is on in front of them,

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Speaker 1: or the television is on, because a screen and eating

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Speaker 1: go together. So you can see how we actually are

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Speaker 1: setting our children up for failure comes to food.

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Speaker 2: We received a few WhatsApp messages on our conversation Pomeline's

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Speaker 2: insurances one and googs, I have a pickI to your

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Speaker 2: old daughter. She recently started krash. She only wants to

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Speaker 2: eat fry, snacks, cereal and some fruit and her formula.

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Speaker 2: We were advised to get a supplement by the pediatrician,

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Speaker 2: but she also doesn't want that. I'm worried and I

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Speaker 2: don't know what to do to get her to eat

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Speaker 2: proper food. That's Pumla.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. So often what we do when we get into

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Speaker 1: that situation is we start hiding food, good food, so

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Speaker 1: you can make for example, if they love chopped chip cookies,

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Speaker 1: you can throw veggies into chopped chip cookies. If they

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Speaker 1: like fish fingers or things like that, you can make

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Speaker 1: fish cakes and you can throw veggies into fish cakes.

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Speaker 1: So you can start hiding food just to get the

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Speaker 1: nutritional value up, and a pediatrician will be watching for

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Speaker 1: things like you know, when children are not gaining weight,

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Speaker 1: that's going to be an issue, which is probably why

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Speaker 1: the pediatrician has recommended the supplement, So you know, you

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Speaker 1: might need to hide it in a milkshake or a

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Speaker 1: fruit shake or something like that. So for this, Mum,

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Speaker 1: I would really suggest that you get your child involved

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Speaker 1: in cooking the food because this is another area where

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Speaker 1: parents fall down, where we land up being so busy

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Speaker 1: that we would rather make the food ourselves than get

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Speaker 1: our children into the kitchen to help with the food.

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Speaker 1: And when you get your kids into the kitchen. It's

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Speaker 1: like a science experiment. It's fun and you can cut

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Speaker 1: up fruit and then you can give your children toothpicks

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Speaker 1: and they can make little fruit skewers. It's a fine

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Speaker 1: motor control, eye hand coordination activity, but it gets them

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Speaker 1: involved in creating and making something that looks very visually

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Speaker 1: at active. They get to smell the food and they

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Speaker 1: might get to actually taste it too while they're making it,

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Speaker 1: and the pride they have in serving it up is

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Speaker 1: something that is going to be the stimulus to eat

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Speaker 1: the food. So please get your children involved in cooking.

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Speaker 1: Show them by role modeling gratitude to your hosts when

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Speaker 1: you are eating out with friends or at friends' homes,

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Speaker 1: to enjoy the food that they've put in front of you,

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Speaker 1: to thank them for the delicious meal. And you know,

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Speaker 1: sometimes we have to eat things that are not our

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Speaker 1: favorite things. You might find yourself traveling from one destination

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Speaker 1: to another and you can't get the food you would

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Speaker 1: really like, but you have to make do. And children

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Speaker 1: need to learn that they can't always have life on

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Speaker 1: their terms, which brings me to the behavioral boundary and

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Speaker 1: once again rule number one, and this is going to apply.

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Speaker 1: Once your kids are probably from fore and up, you

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Speaker 1: call them for dinner and whatever is on the table

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Speaker 1: is what they have to eat. Now we are assuming

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Speaker 1: that we do not have children with sensory processing disorders. Okay,

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Speaker 1: so supper is whatever is dished up, and you eat it.

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Speaker 1: And if you don't want to eat it, well you

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Speaker 1: can have bread and water. And that might sound harsh

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Speaker 1: because we kind of think of bread and water as

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Speaker 1: what you get given in prison, but children learn very

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Speaker 1: quickly if bread and water is the only alternative, then

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Speaker 1: maybe eating the food in front of them is much

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Speaker 1: more interesting. And you might have a child who's going

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Speaker 1: to push the boundary and for three or four days

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Speaker 1: they're going to choose bread and water. They're not going

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Speaker 1: to die. And I promise you nine times out of

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Speaker 1: ten they will start eating what is put in front

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Speaker 1: of them. But don't make it an issue. Don't go

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Speaker 1: overboard in going hysterical. If your child doesn't want to

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Speaker 1: eat it, very calmly say that's fine, go and get

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Speaker 1: a piece of bread from the breadpin, and go and

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Speaker 1: get yourself a glass of water, and just stay calm.

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Speaker 1: And as they get older, if they continue being fussy.

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Speaker 1: And I have a niece who was like this. She

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Speaker 1: would only eat chicken, not chicken strips, but chicken, grilled chicken,

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Speaker 1: very healthy chicken with lemon and a bit of you

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Speaker 1: know herbal seasoning and pepper. She would eat that. And

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Speaker 1: she would eat avocado. And you know what, my sister

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Speaker 1: just said, fine, if you're not going to eat what

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Speaker 1: we eat, you make it yourself. And throughout teenage years

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Speaker 1: she ate what she made. But there was a price

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Speaker 1: to eating what she wanted. She had to make it herself.

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Speaker 2: We received another message here from Boie, who says I

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Speaker 2: didn't raise a picky eater, and what made it possible

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Speaker 2: was making all his food fresh from the baby stage,

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Speaker 2: showing him the food colors not mixed and mushy all

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Speaker 2: the time. He also got to play with lots of texture.

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Speaker 2: She adds A book that helped me is Weaning Sense

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Speaker 2: by Kath mcgare and Meg four ree I think, or

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Speaker 2: Meg four for mcphorad. To this day, he's four years old. Now,

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Speaker 2: he eats whatever we eat at home, which is fresh

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Speaker 2: begis a starch, and some meat. We also make the

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Speaker 2: most of his meals in this way and also make

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Speaker 2: sure that they're not fast food looking, So that's a

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Speaker 2: Buiz contribution.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and Boie raises a great point. Weaning Sense is

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Speaker 1: a super book. I know the authors, and really what

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Speaker 1: we're doing is through that book is introducing children to

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Speaker 1: the adventure of food, because food is a sensory and

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Speaker 1: should be a sensory adventure, providing you don't have those

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Speaker 1: sensory you know, processing disorders. So we do need to

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Speaker 1: introduce children to the colors, to the textures, to the smells,

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Speaker 1: to the looks. As your children get older, it's to

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Speaker 1: introduce them to food from different parts of the world.

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Speaker 1: So you know, we as a family to eat Japanese

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Speaker 1: food or to try tie food, and the rule should

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Speaker 1: be as long as they try it, even if they

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Speaker 1: don't like it, that's fine, But we need to try

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Speaker 1: these things. And then cooking in your own home different

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Speaker 1: kinds of foods and foods from different countries can be

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Speaker 1: so excited because you can have like I sometimes say

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Speaker 1: on a Friday night, you can have takeaway night and

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Speaker 1: games night, and that's when each child gets a different

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Speaker 1: Friday to be responsible for choosing the game and choosing

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Speaker 1: the food. Or it could be that Friday night or

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Speaker 1: a Sunday or whenever it is, is the day when

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Speaker 1: we try something different, something new from a different part

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Speaker 1: of the world. Whether it's Indian, whether it's Tie, whether

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Speaker 1: it's French, it doesn't matter. But let's consider that your

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Speaker 1: children have say grandparents or aunties or uncles, and you

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Speaker 1: go to their homes and you break bread with them.

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Speaker 1: Food is part of ritual and celebration. Your children do

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Speaker 1: need to learn how to eat what's put in front

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Speaker 1: of them because it's respectful and it's also celebration. So

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Speaker 1: let's do our best to try and help our children

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Speaker 1: to assimilate different food stuffs, to become adaptable, respect and

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Speaker 1: excited about food, about the journey of food, because food

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Speaker 1: and life go together.

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Speaker 2: Nicky has always a great pleasure having on the show.

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Speaker 2: Thank you so much for your time.

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Speaker 1: Thanks Gooks, and I hope everybody has a really exciting

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Speaker 1: food weekend. Thank you very much.

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Speaker 2: That's our resident human potential and parenting expert Nicki Bosh.

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Speaker 2: Coming up, we look at what's happening in the arts

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Speaker 2: in seven oh two Land. We'll start at Zanti Ballet.

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Speaker 2: They have a tribute to Elvis Presley. That's coming up,

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Speaker 2: so we'll speak to Dirk Bardenhols, to his director of

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Speaker 2: the production. We also speak to Sean Bovum, who is

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Speaker 2: a choreographer, and they'll join us in the pseudo to

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Speaker 2: tell us about this new ballet called Private Presley the Ballet.

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Speaker 2: So stay with us to hear about that. But first

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Speaker 2: it is twenty seven minutes before nine o'clock. It's check

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Speaker 2: in with your latest I Witness New Sport with Cindy

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Speaker 2: Polluter