WEBVTT - Prank 5 May 2026

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<v Speaker 1>Stop, stop what you're doing.

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<v Speaker 2>Here is another world famous crank call from Darren Wackhead.

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<v Speaker 3>Something's ex exclusive to KFM mornings.

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<v Speaker 1>So you and your wife you reach that time where

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<v Speaker 1>you go, you know, we need a new addition to

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<v Speaker 1>this family, you know, before we have a baby. Let's

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<v Speaker 1>see if we can handle a dog. So what do

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<v Speaker 1>you do. You go down to the animal rescue shelter adopt,

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<v Speaker 1>don't shop, Yeah, and you go and see, oh, look

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<v Speaker 1>at little puppies, a little puppies, little puppies, and you

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<v Speaker 1>see a little pitball puppy and you go, that's the

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<v Speaker 1>one for our family, all right. And then five weeks

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<v Speaker 1>later you get a call from the alleged owner, which

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<v Speaker 1>is me. This is all you know, and you think, harsh, oh,

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<v Speaker 1>now you miss with with with the children of the family. Right, well,

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<v Speaker 1>let me tell you this that after this, so I

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<v Speaker 1>call him after this, he says, let's call my wife

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<v Speaker 1>and do the same, and let's see how she handles it.

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<v Speaker 1>All right, So you're gonna hear two calls here. Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>all right, let's just dive straight in. Okay, hold on, okay,

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<v Speaker 1>perfect Hello, I'm looking for mister Pisha. You've got my

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<v Speaker 1>my puppy. What puppy the pitbull? Yes, multi theme. They

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<v Speaker 1>told me that you collected one of the puppies that

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<v Speaker 1>they found. Yeah, what is my puppy? So thank you

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<v Speaker 1>so much. I'm so excited you got it. Excellent.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh my god, I can't give it back to you. Yes,

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<v Speaker 3>he's gone to text team.

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<v Speaker 1>Have you even given him a name?

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<v Speaker 3>Yes, his name's Mikey. I've spent more than four grand

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<v Speaker 3>on that dog, with his inoculations, the special food.

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<v Speaker 1>Thank you so much for taking such a good care.

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<v Speaker 3>But I'm not going to give you the puppy. Beck

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<v Speaker 3>what you I'd rather pay you for him.

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<v Speaker 1>No, it's my dog I got, I got the one.

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<v Speaker 1>I got his brother back. I got his brother.

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<v Speaker 3>And now you're gonna have to You're gonna have to

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<v Speaker 3>come and see me. Eh, I promise she's like part

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<v Speaker 3>of our family. Can't I rather pay you for him?

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<v Speaker 4>No?

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<v Speaker 1>This is my boy.

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<v Speaker 3>No, but I mean we've had him for five weeks,

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<v Speaker 3>so maybe almost six weeks.

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<v Speaker 1>How much have you been calling him markey?

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<v Speaker 3>How long?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah?

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<v Speaker 3>From the day that he that I collected him, part

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<v Speaker 3>of our family. SEPs in my room every night.

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<v Speaker 1>Put in the bed. Yes, that's wrong. And you call

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<v Speaker 1>him Marky? What kind of dog are you raising?

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<v Speaker 3>What do you mean? What kind of dog am I laving?

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<v Speaker 1>Put him in the bed? You call him Marky not

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<v Speaker 1>there's not a tough name for a pitball. For goodness sake,

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<v Speaker 1>they listen, buddy, I promise you with his.

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<v Speaker 3>Kennel that I've bought him and all the special food

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<v Speaker 3>that he has been on. I mean he's been on

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<v Speaker 3>Yu Canuba. I've said, taken him all his inoculations. She's

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<v Speaker 3>cut me in excess.

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<v Speaker 1>Of four grand Okay, what time can I come pick

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<v Speaker 1>him up to? No?

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<v Speaker 3>No, no, no, But do you understand what I'm saying.

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<v Speaker 3>I took the dog in Okay, understanding your dog? You

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<v Speaker 3>need to prove to me number one, that is your dog.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, just hold on. Okay, boy, okay, listen. Daddy's trying

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<v Speaker 1>to get your brother back. I'm really trying to get

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<v Speaker 1>your brother bag boy.

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<v Speaker 3>No, no, no, no, no, I can't do that. But

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<v Speaker 3>if we if we were not attached to the dog,

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<v Speaker 3>he would not be sleeping in our base. The only

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<v Speaker 3>time he stays outside is during the day when we

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<v Speaker 3>at work. And he's not just a dog, it's part

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<v Speaker 3>of our family. Listens, my fee in the story.

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<v Speaker 1>Please.

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<v Speaker 2>My dog back?

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<v Speaker 3>What's that?

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<v Speaker 1>Please?

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<v Speaker 2>I need my dog back?

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<v Speaker 1>What's so funny? Really?

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<v Speaker 3>When you call me back and childman, and after your.

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<v Speaker 1>Sorry, hold on, hold on, look, I don't know what

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<v Speaker 1>you find so funny. You find it funny that you've

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<v Speaker 1>stolen my dog? Okay, listen, you're holding my dog hostage.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm having your dog.

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<v Speaker 1>Hen. Hello, it's Peter here. I must just tell you

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<v Speaker 1>it's actually kid Simpson, your canal. It's work Simpson here. Buddy,

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<v Speaker 1>you really got me. I don't know why he found

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<v Speaker 1>it so funny that I was in such turmoil.

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<v Speaker 2>I also did it.

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<v Speaker 4>I was like, is that yeah?

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<v Speaker 2>But I think at some point like you were a

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<v Speaker 2>joke to him, and this situation was ridiculous.

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<v Speaker 1>Intense situations.

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<v Speaker 2>He laughs, and he was like, actually, no, I'm not

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<v Speaker 2>going to meet this with any kind of seriousness.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, so he's okay, let's do it on my wife. Okay.

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<v Speaker 2>Also, was that a dog barking was like a human barking?

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<v Speaker 1>No, there's a dog sound effect YouTube?

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<v Speaker 2>No, No, that was a human imitating a dog.

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<v Speaker 1>I would have laughed to all right, let's call the

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<v Speaker 1>wife okay, Yeah, we go.

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<v Speaker 3>Hell, I've got this guy here in my office and

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<v Speaker 3>he wants my seat's his dog? No, And he says

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<v Speaker 3>he has to collect him, and he wants me to

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<v Speaker 3>leave with him to go and fwitch the dog.

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<v Speaker 1>Give me the phone. Hello, ma'am, Hello, I need my

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<v Speaker 1>dog back.

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<v Speaker 4>But a month later, over a month later, you look

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<v Speaker 4>for your dog. That's how concerned you are.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, the thing is, we went away and then we

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<v Speaker 1>came back and the puppies were gone.

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<v Speaker 4>So you just leave your puppies for one, you've abandoned them.

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<v Speaker 4>I'm sorry.

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<v Speaker 1>We had a whole lot of food there. There was

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<v Speaker 1>a whole bunch of food that we left, brand.

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<v Speaker 4>New puppies alone, and you go on holiday.

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<v Speaker 1>I can report you they're tough dogs.

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<v Speaker 4>I'm sorry. I don't accept that he's.

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<v Speaker 1>Given me where the puppies are, so I need to

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<v Speaker 1>go and collect the puppies.

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<v Speaker 4>Well, I don't think that's going to happen. Can I

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<v Speaker 4>speak something to help you?

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<v Speaker 1>Hello?

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<v Speaker 3>No, I told him already, we've spent like four and

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<v Speaker 3>a half grand on the dog, so you must give

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<v Speaker 3>us got money back first before we released.

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<v Speaker 1>The No want my dog?

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<v Speaker 3>What do you want me?

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<v Speaker 4>To do well, you know what for one? Please report

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<v Speaker 4>him to the s p c A get his details.

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<v Speaker 4>Report him because he's abandoned these dogs. He's left him

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<v Speaker 4>and goes on holiday and leaves food and water and

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<v Speaker 4>it quicks puppies to survive.

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<v Speaker 3>Give him the dog or not?

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<v Speaker 4>No, we can't. I'm sorry. I want to speak to him.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm going to report you to the police. What are

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<v Speaker 1>you going to say that you have stolen my dog?

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<v Speaker 1>Exactly right?

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<v Speaker 4>Because you've left them. It's a negligence on your part.

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<v Speaker 1>I have not left them, you've stolen them.

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<v Speaker 4>Oh please, really doesn't our work for attorney, so don't

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<v Speaker 4>boast me. Can I don't speak to you anymore? Can

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<v Speaker 4>I just speak to canusies? Did he come to your work? No?

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<v Speaker 3>I came to my work. They gave him my treat.

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<v Speaker 3>I just take some money and give him the dog.

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<v Speaker 4>Maybe give him How can you give him away? I

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<v Speaker 4>want my dog, you don't need.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm going to talk to him. Okay, let's just call

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<v Speaker 3>you back.

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<v Speaker 1>Hello.

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<v Speaker 3>You're getting me into so much as it's going to

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<v Speaker 3>be so upset with me tonight, you have no Okay,

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<v Speaker 3>I'm leaving work now. I'm gonna give these guys to

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<v Speaker 3>you to take you. I'm just going to give him

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<v Speaker 3>the dog.

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<v Speaker 1>Hello, Love, you speak to him? Hello, Hello?

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<v Speaker 4>Are you willing to give him to?

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<v Speaker 1>I am if you just tell me how much you

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<v Speaker 1>want this dog? Just ask me not.

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<v Speaker 4>I really want him really badly. I love Himbeth.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, well you know it's yours. Thank you, it's it's

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<v Speaker 1>actually work. It's Simpson here. What oh love?

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<v Speaker 3>You know Shanky from work and I'm told him I'm

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<v Speaker 3>not giving him the dog back.

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<v Speaker 4>I can't believe us. I mean tears, love.

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<v Speaker 3>You know, I didn't want to let him for you,

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<v Speaker 3>but that thought is not of the joke. I'm sorry,

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<v Speaker 3>my baby, get you.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm sorry, my baby,