WEBVTT -  Australian Immigration Prank Call

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<v Speaker 1>Here is another world famous.

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<v Speaker 2>Crank call from Darren Wackhead, something that's ex exclusive to

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<v Speaker 2>KFM Mornings.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, oh you know what it's. It's this prank. It's

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<v Speaker 1>kind of like a gut punch for me. It was

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<v Speaker 1>the last time I did one like this, somebody that

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<v Speaker 1>was immigrating, and that that hits me in the gut.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm like, oh, okay, you're leaving, you're leaving. I hate

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<v Speaker 1>to hear people leaving, I really do, because I'm so

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<v Speaker 1>positive about this place. So the last time I did

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<v Speaker 1>the prank, this guy was and his family were immigrating

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<v Speaker 1>to New Zealand. Okay, now, yeah, this guy, take a

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<v Speaker 1>guess where's he going? Perth, correct man, go to Australia. Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>So they've so that's why. So they've they've applied, they've

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<v Speaker 1>they've got accepted and all sorts of stuff, all right,

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<v Speaker 1>and I'm just gonna just have some fun with him.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm phoning from the Australian Department of Foreign Affairs, legit. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>because they're very strict about who they led into their country,

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<v Speaker 1>all right. And there's what is two two hundred South

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<v Speaker 1>African two hundred thousand South Africans in Australia, I think

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<v Speaker 1>perhaps a bit less. I know the UK has got

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<v Speaker 1>the most. That's bordering on three hundred thousand in the UK,

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<v Speaker 1>but two hundred thousand, I think in Australia. Okay, so

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<v Speaker 1>it's not two hundred thousand and one plus his family.

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<v Speaker 1>Australia's calling. All right, just put up with the accent, alright,

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<v Speaker 1>all right, here we go, great mate, it's Lester Fenwick

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<v Speaker 1>here from the Australian Department of Foreign Affairs. Tell you why.

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<v Speaker 1>The reason for this call a bit of a concern.

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<v Speaker 1>The first point of concern here is about your frequent

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<v Speaker 1>travels to certain countries in question.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah you see we I mean we didn't go back

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<v Speaker 2>to the same country, so there's obviously a list of

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<v Speaker 2>places we would have liked to see.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay. So you went to Egypt for one day, yes,

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<v Speaker 1>to see the pyramids, right mate? Okay, Now let's be honest.

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<v Speaker 1>You did you did you have rocks up.

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<v Speaker 2>Your no, No, it was it was on a stopover flight.

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<v Speaker 2>So we were going to New York. But the flight

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<v Speaker 2>from South Africa to New York goes via Egypt, right, okay.

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<v Speaker 1>And when you went to Dubai. What did you have

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<v Speaker 1>up your talio?

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<v Speaker 2>Nothing? Honestly, My wife's cousin lived in Dubai.

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<v Speaker 1>When was your last time you arrived in Australia.

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<v Speaker 2>We went to Australia to activate our visas on the

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<v Speaker 2>twelfth of May.

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<v Speaker 1>Right, and you stayed there for how long?

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<v Speaker 2>For a day? Right? Because they told us, you know

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<v Speaker 2>that that we have to activate our visas. That's what

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<v Speaker 2>we did. We just flew in to activate our visas.

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<v Speaker 1>So and tell me how much cocaine did you have

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<v Speaker 1>stuffed up your dingo?

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<v Speaker 2>Nothing? Honestly, Seriously, I don't do drugs. I don't take drugs.

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<v Speaker 2>You know. My our wife is a teacher, and we

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<v Speaker 2>just wanted to see some places around the world. That's

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<v Speaker 2>what we're just trying to experience life.

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<v Speaker 1>When you went to New York, how much do we

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<v Speaker 1>up your bunghole? That's it's When you went to Victoria Falls?

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<v Speaker 1>How much ecstasy did you have stuck up your Zambia?

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<v Speaker 2>Nothing? Nothing?

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<v Speaker 1>Okay? Mate? Tell me what is this sound?

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<v Speaker 2>What is that?

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<v Speaker 1>That's the sound of a drug? Meal mate? I'm not honestly,

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<v Speaker 1>that is a sound of what.

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<v Speaker 2>It sounds like a horse. But I'm not that. I'm

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<v Speaker 2>not that.

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<v Speaker 1>What is that, mate?

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<v Speaker 2>It sounds like a horse or a donkey?

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<v Speaker 1>What's another name for a donkey?

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<v Speaker 2>Uh an yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>Otherwise known as the smuggler's patch.

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<v Speaker 2>Go on, I don't know a mule, mate, this is

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<v Speaker 2>not honestly, please come and meet me. I'll come and

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<v Speaker 2>meet you. I will show you where I live. I'll

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<v Speaker 2>show you where I work.

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<v Speaker 1>I will.

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<v Speaker 2>I will bring you my pace lips. I'll bring you

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<v Speaker 2>my wife's pacelips.

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<v Speaker 1>Right, my right, I'll go go. Excuse me, excuse me?

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<v Speaker 1>Do it again? Do that sound again? What the hell

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<v Speaker 1>was that? Give it a bit of effort, mate, Oh right,

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<v Speaker 1>and what does that sound?

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<v Speaker 2>It sounds like a horse.

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<v Speaker 1>No, that sounds like a drug mule, mate. Honestly, you

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<v Speaker 1>can even do the sound dinking.

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<v Speaker 2>Please please can you interview me in person? I'm I'll

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<v Speaker 2>come with my wife. We we are good people. I

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<v Speaker 2>don't have any records. I mean, you know, if I

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<v Speaker 2>don't know what to say, I've never smuggled rugs. Ever,

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<v Speaker 2>there's there's no ways promise you we are no drug mules.

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<v Speaker 2>This this is I'm not a bad guy. I'm I'm

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<v Speaker 2>a decent citizen. That's yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>You sound like you're on a verge of crime.

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<v Speaker 2>I am. We went through security, airport security, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>those beagle dogs and sniffed our bags every you know everybody.

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<v Speaker 1>All you need to do, mate, a trick with all

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<v Speaker 1>the drug mules, which you are all right, they've got

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<v Speaker 1>it all up there, right, and then when the dog

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<v Speaker 1>comes along, they just let a ripper go. Mate. No,

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<v Speaker 1>it's a decoy, it's a disguise.

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<v Speaker 2>No, we've never done that.

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<v Speaker 1>People are filthy, mate. Have you never let a ripper

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<v Speaker 1>go waiting for your luggage?

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<v Speaker 2>Tissing me out? A little bit call from Australia saying

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<v Speaker 2>I'm a drug mule, which I'm not. The furtherest thing

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<v Speaker 2>from my mind.

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<v Speaker 1>Now, welcome to Australia, mate, Thank.

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<v Speaker 2>You very much.

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<v Speaker 1>It's important you never forget your roots, right, Yes, okay,

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<v Speaker 1>So I need you to make a promise with me, mate,

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<v Speaker 1>you need to promise me that every single day you're

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<v Speaker 1>going to stream WHACKEA Simpson back in South Africa. Oh,

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<v Speaker 1>this is a joke, my buddy.

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<v Speaker 2>You're not my body now giving me a heart attack.

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<v Speaker 1>You're giving that's the going away present from his entire family.

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<v Speaker 1>That's sad to see him leave. Yeah, but you had

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<v Speaker 1>him stressed out before his eyes.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, he was ready to show you his place pacelip,

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<v Speaker 2>his wife's pacelep.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah. Good luck guys. Yeah, but that's your going away present.

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<v Speaker 1>Like I said, from your entire family, all those details,

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<v Speaker 1>from the mother to the father, to the sister, to

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<v Speaker 1>the brother, to the cousins, the aunties, the uncles, everybody

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<v Speaker 1>was all in all right, but you were in lack

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<v Speaker 1>of luck.