Speaker 1: Here is another world famous.
Speaker 2: Crank call from Darren Wackhead, something that's ex exclusive to
Speaker 2: KFM Mornings.
Speaker 1: Okay, oh you know what it's. It's this prank. It's
Speaker 1: kind of like a gut punch for me. It was
Speaker 1: the last time I did one like this, somebody that
Speaker 1: was immigrating, and that that hits me in the gut.
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, okay, you're leaving, you're leaving. I hate
Speaker 1: to hear people leaving, I really do, because I'm so
Speaker 1: positive about this place. So the last time I did
Speaker 1: the prank, this guy was and his family were immigrating
Speaker 1: to New Zealand. Okay, now, yeah, this guy, take a
Speaker 1: guess where's he going? Perth, correct man, go to Australia. Okay,
Speaker 1: So they've so that's why. So they've they've applied, they've
Speaker 1: they've got accepted and all sorts of stuff, all right,
Speaker 1: and I'm just gonna just have some fun with him.
Speaker 1: I'm phoning from the Australian Department of Foreign Affairs, legit. Yeah,
Speaker 1: because they're very strict about who they led into their country,
Speaker 1: all right. And there's what is two two hundred South
Speaker 1: African two hundred thousand South Africans in Australia, I think
Speaker 1: perhaps a bit less. I know the UK has got
Speaker 1: the most. That's bordering on three hundred thousand in the UK,
Speaker 1: but two hundred thousand, I think in Australia. Okay, so
Speaker 1: it's not two hundred thousand and one plus his family.
Speaker 1: Australia's calling. All right, just put up with the accent, alright,
Speaker 1: all right, here we go, great mate, it's Lester Fenwick
Speaker 1: here from the Australian Department of Foreign Affairs. Tell you why.
Speaker 1: The reason for this call a bit of a concern.
Speaker 1: The first point of concern here is about your frequent
Speaker 1: travels to certain countries in question.
Speaker 2: Yeah you see we I mean we didn't go back
Speaker 2: to the same country, so there's obviously a list of
Speaker 2: places we would have liked to see.
Speaker 1: Okay. So you went to Egypt for one day, yes,
Speaker 1: to see the pyramids, right mate? Okay, Now let's be honest.
Speaker 1: You did you did you have rocks up.
Speaker 2: Your no, No, it was it was on a stopover flight.
Speaker 2: So we were going to New York. But the flight
Speaker 2: from South Africa to New York goes via Egypt, right, okay.
Speaker 1: And when you went to Dubai. What did you have
Speaker 1: up your talio?
Speaker 2: Nothing? Honestly, My wife's cousin lived in Dubai.
Speaker 1: When was your last time you arrived in Australia.
Speaker 2: We went to Australia to activate our visas on the
Speaker 2: twelfth of May.
Speaker 1: Right, and you stayed there for how long?
Speaker 2: For a day? Right? Because they told us, you know
Speaker 2: that that we have to activate our visas. That's what
Speaker 2: we did. We just flew in to activate our visas.
Speaker 1: So and tell me how much cocaine did you have
Speaker 1: stuffed up your dingo?
Speaker 2: Nothing? Honestly, Seriously, I don't do drugs. I don't take drugs.
Speaker 2: You know. My our wife is a teacher, and we
Speaker 2: just wanted to see some places around the world. That's
Speaker 2: what we're just trying to experience life.
Speaker 1: When you went to New York, how much do we
Speaker 1: up your bunghole? That's it's When you went to Victoria Falls?
Speaker 1: How much ecstasy did you have stuck up your Zambia?
Speaker 2: Nothing? Nothing?
Speaker 1: Okay? Mate? Tell me what is this sound?
Speaker 2: What is that?
Speaker 1: That's the sound of a drug? Meal mate? I'm not honestly,
Speaker 1: that is a sound of what.
Speaker 2: It sounds like a horse. But I'm not that. I'm
Speaker 2: not that.
Speaker 1: What is that, mate?
Speaker 2: It sounds like a horse or a donkey?
Speaker 1: What's another name for a donkey?
Speaker 2: Uh an yeah.
Speaker 1: Otherwise known as the smuggler's patch.
Speaker 2: Go on, I don't know a mule, mate, this is
Speaker 2: not honestly, please come and meet me. I'll come and
Speaker 2: meet you. I will show you where I live. I'll
Speaker 2: show you where I work.
Speaker 1: I will.
Speaker 2: I will bring you my pace lips. I'll bring you
Speaker 2: my wife's pacelips.
Speaker 1: Right, my right, I'll go go. Excuse me, excuse me?
Speaker 1: Do it again? Do that sound again? What the hell
Speaker 1: was that? Give it a bit of effort, mate, Oh right,
Speaker 1: and what does that sound?
Speaker 2: It sounds like a horse.
Speaker 1: No, that sounds like a drug mule, mate. Honestly, you
Speaker 1: can even do the sound dinking.
Speaker 2: Please please can you interview me in person? I'm I'll
Speaker 2: come with my wife. We we are good people. I
Speaker 2: don't have any records. I mean, you know, if I
Speaker 2: don't know what to say, I've never smuggled rugs. Ever,
Speaker 2: there's there's no ways promise you we are no drug mules.
Speaker 2: This this is I'm not a bad guy. I'm I'm
Speaker 2: a decent citizen. That's yeah.
Speaker 1: You sound like you're on a verge of crime.
Speaker 2: I am. We went through security, airport security, you know,
Speaker 2: those beagle dogs and sniffed our bags every you know everybody.
Speaker 1: All you need to do, mate, a trick with all
Speaker 1: the drug mules, which you are all right, they've got
Speaker 1: it all up there, right, and then when the dog
Speaker 1: comes along, they just let a ripper go. Mate. No,
Speaker 1: it's a decoy, it's a disguise.
Speaker 2: No, we've never done that.
Speaker 1: People are filthy, mate. Have you never let a ripper
Speaker 1: go waiting for your luggage?
Speaker 2: Tissing me out? A little bit call from Australia saying
Speaker 2: I'm a drug mule, which I'm not. The furtherest thing
Speaker 2: from my mind.
Speaker 1: Now, welcome to Australia, mate, Thank.
Speaker 2: You very much.
Speaker 1: It's important you never forget your roots, right, Yes, okay,
Speaker 1: So I need you to make a promise with me, mate,
Speaker 1: you need to promise me that every single day you're
Speaker 1: going to stream WHACKEA Simpson back in South Africa. Oh,
Speaker 1: this is a joke, my buddy.
Speaker 2: You're not my body now giving me a heart attack.
Speaker 1: You're giving that's the going away present from his entire family.
Speaker 1: That's sad to see him leave. Yeah, but you had
Speaker 1: him stressed out before his eyes.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he was ready to show you his place pacelip,
Speaker 2: his wife's pacelep.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Good luck guys. Yeah, but that's your going away present.
Speaker 1: Like I said, from your entire family, all those details,
Speaker 1: from the mother to the father, to the sister, to
Speaker 1: the brother, to the cousins, the aunties, the uncles, everybody
Speaker 1: was all in all right, but you were in lack
Speaker 1: of luck.