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Speaker 1: The sharing space on the Clement Mala Show.

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Speaker 2: Eleven thirty three term for the sharing space. This is

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Speaker 2: where we share our stories about anything, anything that has

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Speaker 2: happened to you, something you experience that you think you

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Speaker 2: want to share with us. As the Clement Manitela Show family.

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Speaker 2: Maybe you need advice about something, it's very easy. Just

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Speaker 2: send me an email on CM at seven two dot

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Speaker 2: co dot You can do so anonymously if you don't

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Speaker 2: want to reveal who you are. And yeah, thank you

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Speaker 2: to a lot of you that have sent us your

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Speaker 2: stories for sharing space. It's really quite interesting and I

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Speaker 2: can't wait to hear what the listeners think about some

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Speaker 2: of these situations you find yourselves in. Today, we've got

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Speaker 2: an email from Anonymous. Anonymous sent us this email a

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Speaker 2: couple of days ago for the sharing space, so I'm

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Speaker 2: going to read it. It's quite short, but quite profound

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Speaker 2: and contextual. So I'm going to read the email, and

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Speaker 2: if you have experienced something similar, maybe you're in the

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Speaker 2: same situation yourself, give us a call or send a

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Speaker 2: what's up. Oh and more importantly, if you have advised

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Speaker 2: for this listener, I'd like you to call or send

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Speaker 2: her what's up? And tell us what you advice is

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Speaker 2: for them. Here we go. Hi, Clement, I hope you're

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Speaker 2: will Please can you ask your listeners how they can

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Speaker 2: advise me in this situation I'm facing. I'm cohabiting with

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Speaker 2: the father of my four children. We have been together

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Speaker 2: for the past twenty years. I am in the retail

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Speaker 2: industry and he has been unemployed for over four years now.

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Speaker 2: I'm the only bread wiener, no income from his side.

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Speaker 2: I pay for everything and this has affected my mental state.

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Speaker 2: A friend of mine I managed to get a job

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Speaker 2: for him at the petrol station, but he refused and

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Speaker 2: said the money is too little. This is the third

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Speaker 2: time that he has abandoned job offers. The money could

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Speaker 2: make a huge difference as I'm paying for everything. Age

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Speaker 2: is not on his side anymore, and I'm worried. Will

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Speaker 2: I be wrong to leave this relationship? How can I

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Speaker 2: handle this? Kind regards? Anonymous? Okay, just to recap the

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Speaker 2: anonymous firtival, thank you for sending us the story. Thank

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Speaker 2: you for sharing it with us. And to recap Anonymous

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Speaker 2: is cohabiting with the father of her four children. So

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Speaker 2: they've got four children with this chap. They live together

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Speaker 2: and they've been together for the past twenty years, and

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Speaker 2: Eonymus is in the retail industry and her partner of

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Speaker 2: twenty years has been unemployed for over four years. Heir

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Speaker 2: concern is that she's the bread winner and it's beginning

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Speaker 2: to affect her mental state because the money is just

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Speaker 2: not enough. There's no income coming from her partner because

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Speaker 2: the partner has been unemployed for four years. And her

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Speaker 2: biggest concern is that the partner is a bit choosy

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Speaker 2: with the job. With the jobs. He recently refused a

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Speaker 2: job that was offered to him to come work at

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Speaker 2: a petrol station and he said no, and he said

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Speaker 2: the money is too little. But this woman, Anonymus, says,

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Speaker 2: I don't take that because that money, as little as

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Speaker 2: it is, would have made a huge difference. Because I'm

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Speaker 2: now paying for everything. I'm in the retail industry myself,

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Speaker 2: and I'm struggling. And Anonymous is worried that the age

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Speaker 2: is not on her partner's side, so she's asking will

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Speaker 2: she be wrong to leave this relationship? How does she

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Speaker 2: handle something like this? Do you have some advice for her?

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Speaker 2: Give us a call on oh one eight eight three,

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Speaker 2: oh seven oh two. Do you think she must leave

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Speaker 2: this chap. I mean it's they've been together for twenty years.

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Speaker 2: Clearly there's something here. They love each other, They've got

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Speaker 2: four kids together. This man has been unemployed for four years.

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Speaker 2: He seems to be okay, but he's not going to

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Speaker 2: take any job, like a job that's been offered at

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Speaker 2: a petrol station. How do you think Anonymous should handle

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Speaker 2: this situation? You can send your whatsaps as well on

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Speaker 2: seven two, seven oh two and seven oh two twenty

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Speaker 2: three before telve.

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Speaker 1: The sharing space on the Clement Many Tela show seven.

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Speaker 2: It's twenty minutes before twelve o'clock. Let's go straight to

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Speaker 2: your WhatsApps.

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Speaker 3: And LeMond Anonymous mus than be a house husband. She

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Speaker 3: must provide? Did she goes into that relationship for money?

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Speaker 3: How about true she wants to leave him because of money? Well,

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Speaker 3: it doesn't know why.

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Speaker 4: I think that her husband looks after the house, he cleans,

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Speaker 4: he he looks after he cheats A true Anonymous, Let's

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Speaker 4: go fifty fifty provide Anonymous provide.

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Speaker 2: But to be fair, Anonymus didn't say that the husband cleans,

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Speaker 2: so I don't know how they share responsibilities. But the

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Speaker 2: point I'm getting from her email is that she's overwhelmed.

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Speaker 2: She says, she's really overwhelmed. They've got four kids, they've

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Speaker 2: been together for twenty years. She's he has been unemployed

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Speaker 2: for four years, so for the last four years, Anonymous

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Speaker 2: has been carrying the responsibility as the bread winner, and

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Speaker 2: she just feels overwhelmed. And she's saying, just get a job,

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Speaker 2: even if there's an extra thousand. It's going to make

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Speaker 2: a huge difference in our lives because now it's even

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Speaker 2: affecting her mental state, and who knows how this entire

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Speaker 2: situation is also affecting their intimacy and their relationship and

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Speaker 2: how they connect with each other. So what does she do?

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Speaker 5: Good money? Clement and the listeners, This is a difficult one.

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Speaker 5: But I've been the like the person who is just spoken.

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Speaker 5: All I did when I was starting to have that depression.

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Speaker 5: I took underdepressants just to be able.

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Speaker 6: To think properly.

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Speaker 5: It's not an easy decision to leave the partner, especially

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Speaker 5: if it's a good person and the children will also

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Speaker 5: be affected. Yeah, but I think you must take some

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Speaker 5: medication and try some advices, and I think it will

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Speaker 5: come right.

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Speaker 7: Just try, try and try.

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Speaker 5: Eventually, something will come, even if it's a little money.

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Speaker 6: To start a small business.

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Speaker 8: Yes, that's my advice.

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Speaker 5: I can't say leave him, Yeah, that's.

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Speaker 9: It, Bye, good great Element. It is so sad because

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Speaker 9: the very same men will be sitting outside with other

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Speaker 9: group of men claiming that the wife is not providing

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Speaker 9: they after pudding wrestling. You know, if I get it,

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Speaker 9: if I can put it that way. Meanwhile, the poor

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Speaker 9: men can't do it. If you're mentally exhausted and somebody

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Speaker 9: doesn't want to work, it's not about the work, it's

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Speaker 9: about what you bring. You can even bring thousand rights

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Speaker 9: at home.

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Speaker 6: I don't care.

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Speaker 9: Bring something right.

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Speaker 7: Element or to be anonymous for twenty years, you couldn't

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Speaker 7: see the red red flags. Surely, if this person has

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Speaker 7: rejected jobs, you must know very well that this person

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Speaker 7: is not willing to build anything with anyone. That lady

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Speaker 7: is going to work for this man until death to

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Speaker 7: us part. I'm telling you if she she wants this

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Speaker 7: meant to do something, she has to put her food down.

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Speaker 7: It's either he makes a move or you can just

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Speaker 7: let it be. You can live, find himself some some

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Speaker 7: something somewhere to stay or something to do. It doesn't

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Speaker 7: make a petrol station cleaning. Just do something. As a

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Speaker 7: person in this life, you have to be something, Do something. Yeah,

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Speaker 7: I'm getting very irritated and angry with this thing, which which?

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Speaker 4: Which?

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Speaker 7: Which is happening?

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Speaker 2: Here Anonymous says, this is the third job that that

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Speaker 2: the the usband the partner. It's not a husband yet

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Speaker 2: from the email reading, so they're cohabiting. I suppose it's yeah,

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Speaker 2: she says in the email, this is the third job

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Speaker 2: that he is refusing to take up, and this time

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Speaker 2: around it he says there's just not enough money there.

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Speaker 2: Another person on the wasapp, Linde says, good morning, Clement,

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Speaker 2: regarding the partner who declines job offers. That is a

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Speaker 2: big stress that I face. I'm facing exactly the same situation,

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Speaker 2: whereby I now bear more responsibilities than before, including buying

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Speaker 2: hair data. I also need advice on how to deal

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Speaker 2: with it. It's really really sickening, especially now that the

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Speaker 2: fuel has skyrocketed that demands teamwork to achieve a particular goal.

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Speaker 2: Another person says, hey, Clement, Anonymous here, I'm sorry, but

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Speaker 2: I'm going to be blud my sister. Leave him now.

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Speaker 2: Whilst you're at it. Your kids need you more than

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Speaker 2: he does, and he should be helping out financially, but

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Speaker 2: wants to be a burden to you too. Lucky him.

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Speaker 2: He gets the job offers but rejects them. You know why,

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Speaker 2: because you maintain him. Swallow the bitter pill, sister, and

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Speaker 2: leave him. Otherwise you'll die and leave your kids. And

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Speaker 2: then what that's a message there from anonymous? More of

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Speaker 2: your what'sapps? Ah?

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Speaker 8: Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello. Now I'll tell the enonomous to leave,

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Speaker 8: you know, anything that has to do with mental state.

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Speaker 8: I'm sorry. And no, that guy is not grateful. And

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Speaker 8: the guy is lazy, and he doesn't have dreams because

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Speaker 8: as little as it is once, you know, while he

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Speaker 8: can afford to take the lady out to say thank

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Speaker 8: you for all your hard work, but he doesn't even

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Speaker 8: want to do it. Now, I'll tell her to leave, Clement,

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Speaker 8: you know, just just leave. He doesn't know what the

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Speaker 8: heck was that guy. Now, I would least protect my

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Speaker 8: mental state over in my mental state, because I need

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Speaker 8: to be healthy to be able to take care of

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Speaker 8: my kids.

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Speaker 1: Sorry, the sharing space on the Clement Mantela Show seven notes,

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Speaker 1: twelve minutes before twelve outlaw back to your What's ups?

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Speaker 6: Ah, Hello, good day, Clemond, gooday slender Clement. I would

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Speaker 6: advise and myse husband to take their job and make

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Speaker 6: do with the don Clement. You never know what other

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Speaker 6: opportunities that job would unlock.

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Speaker 2: Right.

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Speaker 6: Remember you have all people from all walks of life

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Speaker 6: coming to the filling stations to fill up, and you

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Speaker 6: have usually have casual chats with them, and you you

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Speaker 6: set yourself while you were at the job. And remember

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Speaker 6: people hire people that they are familiar with, who they

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Speaker 6: have had interactions with. When you send the CV, it

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Speaker 6: doesn't speak much as you meeting that person in particular, right,

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Speaker 6: So you develop relationships you develop, you'll broaden your network

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Speaker 6: and a climent. I've been in that situation myself where

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Speaker 6: I took an uber job and it led me to

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Speaker 6: another job on a claiment. Imagine you are having a

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Speaker 6: CEO or operations manager of a particular company one on one.

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Speaker 6: They can interview you right then and then.

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Speaker 10: How that first voice, no buttle anonymous must provided and

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Speaker 10: who said that the man is looking after the kids?

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Speaker 6: With no who said the man is looking after the

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Speaker 6: kids or even cleaning.

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Speaker 10: Some men don't want to clean and do anything. She's

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Speaker 10: not overwhelmed, so My advice to Anonymous as leave that

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Speaker 10: man as far as long as you still providing you

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Speaker 10: want accept any job, leave him temporarily, take a break,

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Speaker 10: and then when he's got something or when he's finally

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Speaker 10: called a week up call and waking, then you can

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Speaker 10: get back together. But I'm telling you, as long as

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Speaker 10: you're still they're providing you want, you want to go

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Speaker 10: to work, say man, that's case it's Anonymous.

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Speaker 2: But should Yeah? I don't know. Should should she just leave?

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Speaker 2: I hear you and Anonymous? Of course an Anonymous is

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Speaker 2: listening to us, so she she will take whatever advice

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Speaker 2: that you guys are suggesting. I really wouldn't say you

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Speaker 2: just leave someone like that. I think at least explore

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Speaker 2: other options. Do you want to maybe bring in the

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Speaker 2: family into this huh? Have you spoken to his best friend?

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Speaker 2: Have you spoken to his brother, someone from his family

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Speaker 2: to try and get a sense of way his head?

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Speaker 2: Is that because maybe there's something deeper here, that deeper

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Speaker 2: here that we understand. But I would think before you

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Speaker 2: even decide to leave, at the very least try and

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Speaker 2: exhaust other avenue. Speak to the family, bring in someone

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Speaker 2: who can intervene. Have you tried to have a conversation

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Speaker 2: with him. Maybe we do that before then you take

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Speaker 2: the extreme measure of just pecking up your bags and leaving.

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Speaker 2: That's just my suggestion. But also I keep on thinking now,

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Speaker 2: like if the roles were reversed.

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Speaker 11: So if it was.

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Speaker 2: A man who had written to us who says, ish,

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Speaker 2: I've got my partner, my girlfriend been living with her

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Speaker 2: for twenty years, we've been together for twenty years, we've

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Speaker 2: got four kids. She doesn't want to work, would the

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Speaker 2: same advice then work here? Would you still advise this

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Speaker 2: man that leave him? Be honest? Be honest?

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Speaker 1: Would you?

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Speaker 2: Or would you try to find other justifications around? Oh,

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Speaker 2: but she does one, two, three, Oh, maybe she does

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Speaker 2: something else in the household. So if it was a

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Speaker 2: man who had written to us with exactly the same story,

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Speaker 2: would you say to him leave that woman because she

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Speaker 2: doesn't want to go and work and be whatever job

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Speaker 2: that she feels doesn't pay enough for her mm hmm.

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Speaker 2: But Belly, you're calling us from Rustenbeck, what are your thoughts?

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Speaker 2: Good morning.

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Speaker 11: Et sartah Uh, clement Um, the guy actually is a

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Speaker 11: lazy man. You don't want to work, and if you

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Speaker 11: can ask the lady, maybe what qualification does he have.

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Speaker 11: You'll find he has got metic. But on the other end,

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Speaker 11: you want to earn a lot of money, whereby didn't

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Speaker 11: he all go to school? So he must just like say,

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Speaker 11: the job and work for his kids and his wife

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Speaker 11: and stop saying the money is too little. Where will

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Speaker 11: he get too much money? You must start there, then

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Speaker 11: from there you will get something. After we are doing

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Speaker 11: the same, we start down. Then when time goes on

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Speaker 11: we look for grena pasta instead of saying no, I

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Speaker 11: can't do this, I can't do this tomorrow. Is one

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Speaker 11: of those people are going to say foreigners are taking

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Speaker 11: jobs from us, whereas you don't want to work.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, matta bella interesting back, thank you. Okay, So Anonymous

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Speaker 2: has just sent us an update. She is listening to

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Speaker 2: your advice and she just sent us a message saying,

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Speaker 2: at times this partner arrives in the morning from drinking.

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Speaker 4: Humm.

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Speaker 2: Now this changes the dynamics, Anonymous, you left this part

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Speaker 2: in the email. So Anonymus has just sent us a

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Speaker 2: message now saying at times her partner arrives in the morning,

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Speaker 2: hasn't slept at home, he was out drinking the whole

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Speaker 2: night and she says, the kids love him, and apparently

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Speaker 2: he does assist with house chores. Does this then change

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Speaker 2: your advice for Anonymous? I don't like the fact that

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Speaker 2: this man just in fact, whether this man is employed

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Speaker 2: or not, I just think it's irresponsible. If you're married,

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Speaker 2: you've got a partner and the children at home, I

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Speaker 2: think you are an irresponsible man to be arriving in

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Speaker 2: the morning. You've not slept at home, your husband or

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Speaker 2: wife didn't even know where you were, and you come

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Speaker 2: in the morning because you were drinking the entire night.

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Speaker 2: That is irresponsible, whether you are unemployed or not. But

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Speaker 2: then the children love this man. This man helps with

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Speaker 2: house shows at home. Does this change the dynamics for you?

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Speaker 12: Good morning, Clement, nice show is always Yeah, Anonymous co

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Speaker 12: happy thing for twenty years, four kids.

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Speaker 11: Yeah.

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Speaker 12: I can't say it's a red flag because I don't

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Speaker 12: know if it's your choice or what Number two that

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Speaker 12: mean sounds very spoilt. He doesn't see the need to

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Speaker 12: take those jobs because it's spoilt. Is too comfortable, Yeah,

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Speaker 12: it's too comfortable, and okay, it's just difficult. My sister.

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Speaker 12: I can't say leave you because also it's easy to

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Speaker 12: say to someone leave your relationship, but on the other

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Speaker 12: hand is hard. But yeah, it seems like we have

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Speaker 12: five kids. Thanks Anonymous.

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Speaker 7: II. I thought I said it.

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Speaker 1: I knew.

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Speaker 7: That woman must run for her life. She must have

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Speaker 7: run for her life Anonymous again, Clement, tell her to

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Speaker 7: run for her life.

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Speaker 6: That guy is using it and the team.

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Speaker 13: I personally think that Anonymous should speak to her husband.

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Speaker 2: So she should.

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Speaker 13: She should open up, speak to him, let him know

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Speaker 13: about what she's dealing with, and obviously talk about how

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Speaker 13: difficult it is or how difficult it has been being

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Speaker 13: a single income household, and obviously be vulnerable about the

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Speaker 13: fact that she needs his help. If he's not open

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Speaker 13: to that, if he's not receptive and he's not understanding,

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Speaker 13: then I think, you know what, leave that man. But

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Speaker 13: I don't think she should leave without speaking to him.

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Speaker 8: Thank you, Clement. No, this story is getting spicier. It's

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Speaker 8: getting me more mad. I don't think it's a true story.

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Speaker 11: No, it can be.

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Speaker 8: It can be this man, it cannot be.

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Speaker 2: Thank you, it is. Anonymous has actually been listening and

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Speaker 2: responding and giving us additional information as we talk about it. Anonymous,

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Speaker 2: I hope you've taken the advice, all the best. Talk

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Speaker 2: to your man, talk to the family. If you will

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Speaker 2: exhaust all other avenues before you decide to peck up

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Speaker 2: and leave, I think m