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Speaker 1: So much you're listening to a Mother Mia podcast.

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Speaker 2: Mamma Mia acknowledges the traditional owners of the land. We

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Speaker 2: have recorded this podcast on the Gadigul people of the

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Speaker 2: Eora nation. We pay our respects to their elders past

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Speaker 2: and present, and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and

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Speaker 2: Torres Strait Islander cultures.

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Speaker 1: Hi.

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Speaker 3: I'm Annalise Todd, new host of Mamma MIA's parenting pod

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Speaker 3: This Glorious Mess. I'm a single mum to two tween

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Speaker 3: boys and a long time listener of help. I have

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Speaker 3: a teenager just gearing up for what is to come

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Speaker 3: in my life. I loved the episode unpopular opinion parenting

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Speaker 3: teens is tougher than newborns. I can definitely see from

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Speaker 3: what my friends with teens are experiencing. It's a way scarier,

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Speaker 3: uncharted time and like all things in life with hindsight, well,

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Speaker 3: newbies are kind of like little worms really, And as

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Speaker 3: a mum of boys, I was scared but also fascinated

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Speaker 3: by why your teen smells like goat according to a doctor.

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Speaker 3: I've been a longtime listener of This Glorious Mess. The

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Speaker 3: podcast was one of the very first podcasts Mumma Mia

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Speaker 3: Maid and hosted by Holly Wainwright and Andrew Daddo. It's

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Speaker 3: an utter pinch me moment stepping in as the new

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Speaker 3: host alongside Teagana Tooley and Sarah Marii Fad. We've just

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Speaker 3: launched a brand new chapter of TGM, catering to parents

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Speaker 3: with kids of all ages. There's new stories, new ideas,

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Speaker 3: and a wide range of guests to truly reflect exactly

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Speaker 3: what it looks like to be a parent in twenty

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Speaker 3: twenty four. In this episode, we talk to a sleep expert,

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Speaker 3: and no, not fear kids sleep. A sleep expert for us,

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Speaker 3: the tired parents with the mental load swirling around our heads,

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Speaker 3: keeping us up at night as we spiral over the

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Speaker 3: never ending list sport the text we haven't responded to ah,

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Speaker 3: and that one comment we made in two thousand and

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Speaker 3: eight that we still cringe at, well, maybe that's just me.

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Speaker 3: The new This Glorious Mess, will make you feel seen

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Speaker 3: and heard as a parent and hopefully give you a

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Speaker 3: little chuckle in your day, because there really is humor

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Speaker 3: and glory in the mess of it, one big, giant,

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Speaker 3: glorious mess. Hello, and welcome to this glorious Mess. We're

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Speaker 3: embracing the chaos together, ditching the judgment. I'm Annalie Todd,

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Speaker 3: a single mum of two tween boys and happy to

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Speaker 3: report we are all currently life free.

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Speaker 4: Oh what a victory, What a time to be alive.

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Speaker 1: And I'm teaking a tolly.

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Speaker 5: I'm a mum of three under six, and I now

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Speaker 5: have two toothless twins as I like to call them.

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Speaker 4: So teek.

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Speaker 3: Today on the show, we're talking about sleep, not your kids,

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Speaker 3: sleep yours, because this podcast is all about you to sleep,

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Speaker 3: not about you, teek, It's about actually the.

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Speaker 4: People who listen to us.

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Speaker 3: But anyway, we hear from a mum who's scheduling dinner

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Speaker 3: time and a little bit differently. Plus we chat to

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Speaker 3: a sleep expert. I find out all the things I'm

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Speaker 3: doing wrong with my own sleep. So stay tuned to

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Speaker 3: hear my shame spiral and meltdown over them.

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Speaker 1: Oh I can't wait.

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Speaker 5: And as always, we will hear from our friend Sarah Marie.

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Speaker 5: But first, here's what's happening in my group chat. I

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Speaker 5: thought i'd just refer to my mum's group chat, currently

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Speaker 5: entitled bitch ass host.

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Speaker 3: Mine's called the suburb I live in and legends, So

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Speaker 3: mine's a little bit better than your PG.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 5: I thought this was so funny because I feel like

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Speaker 5: what I'm about to quote is an insight into all parents'

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Speaker 5: lives with kids around starting school age. Anyway, this one

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Speaker 5: particular mum said that her son was nearly asleep and

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Speaker 5: just yelled out from his bedroom, criticizing me that he

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Speaker 5: found one soft grape in his lunch box. In a

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Speaker 5: monst the many perfect grapes, I can't go the f

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Speaker 5: to sleep. You're getting a lunch box full of soft

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Speaker 5: grapes tomorrow.

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Speaker 4: I can't believe.

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Speaker 5: As he's falling asleep, he's like, yeah, I need to

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Speaker 5: tell mum about that one soft because this was.

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Speaker 3: The worst thing that happened in my day. Do better

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Speaker 3: next time.

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Speaker 1: Ah, Mom, I'm hungry. There you go. There, You're hungry

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Speaker 1: for soft grapes.

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Speaker 4: That's all you're getting. Hi, it's Sarah Marie. Hi, Sarah Marie.

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Speaker 4: I'd love your advice. My child keeps climbing into my

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Speaker 4: bed with me. Please make it stop? Will I ever

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Speaker 4: be alone again?

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Speaker 6: Why do you want it to stop? I don't understand

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Speaker 6: I am the wrong person to ask this question to.

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Speaker 6: I am in the middle of my queen size bed.

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Speaker 6: I've got my four year old on one side, I've

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Speaker 6: got my one year old on the other because he

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Speaker 6: suddenly eleven months decided he doesn't want to be in

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Speaker 6: his cot. He wants to be snuggled with me and

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Speaker 6: I can sleep the kids sleep. I love sleeping in

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Speaker 6: bed with them. But if you actually really need your

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Speaker 6: own space, I do have a tip, and it worked

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Speaker 6: with my oldest son until my baby was born, because

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Speaker 6: then he wanted to sleep in the same room as

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Speaker 6: his brother. I like pimped out his room. I completely

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Speaker 6: pimped it up, you know, to show pimp my ride.

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Speaker 6: But it was like pimp my room and he was

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Speaker 6: like dinosaurs wallpaper. I got him a cool new bed

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Speaker 6: and new bed sheets. It was a lot of effort,

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Speaker 6: but it was really cool, a really cool space to

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Speaker 6: be in. Suddenly he just wanted to sleep in his room.

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Speaker 6: So that's a tip for you, if that's what you

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Speaker 6: really want. I would make their sleep space their own.

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Speaker 6: Don't make it like what you want. It has to

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Speaker 6: be what they want. Don't do the Beijemum thing like

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Speaker 6: get the color in there, and really get their personality

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Speaker 6: in there, and they'll want to sleep. They'll probably want

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Speaker 6: you to sleep in there with them till they fall asleep.

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Speaker 1: But that's a win.

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Speaker 6: I think if you can leave the room and go

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Speaker 6: into your own bed. If your question is why would

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Speaker 6: you want some like adult alone time, my question is

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Speaker 6: why would you want to? I mean, I just can't

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Speaker 6: think of anything.

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Speaker 1: Worse right now?

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Speaker 7: You got a kid.

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Speaker 6: Young enough to want to climb into bed with you.

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Speaker 6: I think by the time I get the kids to sleep,

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Speaker 6: I am exhausted. I don't think sex is even on

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Speaker 6: my mind, and I don't think it's on.

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Speaker 1: My husband's side.

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Speaker 6: And you know what, judge me as much as you want.

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Speaker 6: I have in the past week spoken to three separate

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Speaker 6: girlfriends of mine with their husbands, and they have all

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Speaker 6: said the same thing. When we're like, nah, man, like,

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Speaker 6: that's not happening for us right right now.

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Speaker 1: It'll get back there. But I mean, just lock your door.

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Speaker 1: If you really worried about your.

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Speaker 6: Kid walking in on you, just get a lock for

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Speaker 6: that time frame, and you know, if you hear the

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Speaker 6: door knock, just get dressed really quickly.

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Speaker 8: Are you okay?

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Speaker 3: When it comes to baby's kids sleep, there's a million

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Speaker 3: and one methods, opinions, research techniques about how, don't why.

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Speaker 5: I think what was popular when we were having kids

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Speaker 5: was the tizzy What was that called?

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Speaker 1: Save say?

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Speaker 3: I did that ah for my first baby from two

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Speaker 3: weeks and from two weeks and still in the womb.

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Speaker 3: I still feel guilty and am very concerned about the

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Speaker 3: trauma that I have impacted.

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Speaker 4: For yourself or the kid both.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Well, look, that's just.

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Speaker 5: One of many now, because everywhere you turn there's another method, right.

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Speaker 4: The fading method.

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Speaker 3: So that's when you put them into beds while the

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Speaker 3: child is still drowsy, then stay by their side until

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Speaker 3: they fall.

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Speaker 1: Isn't that just gonus leep?

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Speaker 4: I don't know. It's the method though.

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Speaker 5: The five three three rule a training method that involves

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Speaker 5: specific intervals for sleep.

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Speaker 4: It sounds like something you do it like a gym,

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Speaker 4: like a gym.

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Speaker 1: Class, or the diets you know, the.

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Speaker 3: Dice, Okay, all right? The pickup put down methods.

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Speaker 5: Also sounds like something you do at the gym. The

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Speaker 5: five minute method.

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Speaker 3: You just let them cry for five minutes apparently, right, Okay.

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Speaker 3: The chair method sounds creepy. Instead of leaving the room,

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Speaker 3: you just sit in a chair next to the cod

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Speaker 3: that's creepy.

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Speaker 5: Look, I'm not gonna lie. I've probably done that at

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Speaker 5: some stay, let's be honest. I didn't realize it was

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Speaker 5: an actual method though. I thought it was just me

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Speaker 5: leasing my shit. I so advanced he can't put down

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Speaker 5: and shushpat method.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, that also speaks for its tummy.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. The thing responsive settling.

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Speaker 3: Just sounds like you're responding to their needs. And I

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Speaker 3: think the meanest one it's called extinction. So basically you

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Speaker 3: just shove them in the bed and no matter how

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Speaker 3: much long, right, you just ignore it.

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Speaker 5: Our whole point is each to your own. Whatever works

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Speaker 5: for you is whatever works for you. That's what you do.

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Speaker 4: You booth totally.

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Speaker 3: And I did that trauma inducing save our seet method

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Speaker 3: for my first but by my second I was just

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Speaker 3: like demand feed coasally, whateverever gets you through.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, and you know what, every bloody baby's different. Like

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Speaker 5: my twins. I must say like, I did a method

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Speaker 5: and it worked great for them, and then I thought, oh,

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Speaker 5: with Banjo, I'm going to get this done really early.

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Speaker 5: You know, no way, mate, That kid was an anti sleeper.

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Speaker 5: I used to laugh at me at three am when

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Speaker 5: I'd be trying to do the pat the shush, the

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Speaker 5: pick up, the put down, the.

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Speaker 4: Whatever it was.

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Speaker 5: He'd literally laugh at me in the middle of the night,

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Speaker 5: and I was like, right, I quit.

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Speaker 4: I think it's totally luck of the draw.

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Speaker 5: What I do agree with in most of these methods

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Speaker 5: is that a sleeping baby means a sleeping parent, right,

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Speaker 5: And that's what we're talking about today.

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Speaker 1: How we can sleep.

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Speaker 4: Save mums sleep.

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Speaker 5: Yes, out of the way, Tissy Hall, here we come,

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Speaker 5: save our sleeps. Clearly we've got issues. I love how

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Speaker 5: we're like, oh, we're not going to talk about the

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Speaker 5: kids sleep. All we've done is talk about the kids

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Speaker 5: sleep because I think they're both so traumatized.

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Speaker 3: Well it's a lifelong trauma imprint in my brain. But

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Speaker 3: you know, Teek, someone told me this beautiful advice once.

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Speaker 3: They said, you know, it doesn't matter what you do,

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Speaker 3: you can't spoil a baby. It's whatever works for you

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Speaker 3: and your baby. And at the end of the day,

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Speaker 3: they're not going to be still in your bed when

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Speaker 3: they're eighteen.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 5: So now on to actually our sleep, which was the point.

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Speaker 5: How is your sleep?

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Speaker 3: M I am an insomniac, so that's interesting.

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Speaker 1: How is your lack of sleep.

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Speaker 4: I should say it's very consistent.

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Speaker 3: It actually first started when I was pregnant with my

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Speaker 3: first the hormonal change. It just completely hit me and

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Speaker 3: I became an insomniac. And I've sort of dabbled in

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Speaker 3: an out.

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Speaker 1: Is it because you can't turn your brain off?

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Speaker 4: Yeah? I will.

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Speaker 3: Now obviously I'm not pregnant, but I still have insomnia

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Speaker 3: and it is in a bad phase at the moment.

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Speaker 3: And I think it's I get ideas that pop into

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Speaker 3: my head in the night and I just start thinking

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Speaker 3: and then going on different trains and thoughts and what

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Speaker 3: have I got on work tomorrow?

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Speaker 4: And when am I getting the kids back? And you know,

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Speaker 4: start doing.

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Speaker 5: The mental load stuff. And I think it all relates

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Speaker 5: back to what we were referred to not long ago

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Speaker 5: what Maggie Dent said to Kate Ritchie on Nova. She

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Speaker 5: was trying to explain to fits in and Whip the

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Speaker 5: mental load of a mum and how they're like, okay,

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Speaker 5: kids are in bed, they're shower their fair, there's okay,

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Speaker 5: they go to bed and they go to bed, whereas

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Speaker 5: moms have life like this completely different wiring where we

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Speaker 5: then lie down in bed and we're like, oh, did

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Speaker 5: they eat enough broccoli?

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Speaker 1: Oh? I need to book my eyebrows in for the wax.

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Speaker 5: You know, like all the things, or what did I

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Speaker 5: do at my twenty first birthday? That was the best

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Speaker 5: one that she said, because that's me. So I'll sit

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Speaker 5: there and spiral about something I did sixteen years to

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Speaker 5: go really, yeah, that's just a whole other diagnosis.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I think you should say someone but that mine's

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Speaker 3: more current spiraling.

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Speaker 4: So tis if you share a bed with a partner.

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Speaker 3: I learned about a new methodology that you might be

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Speaker 3: interested in.

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Speaker 4: It's sleep divorce.

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Speaker 1: Oh am, I divorcing my sleep.

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Speaker 4: No, you're divorcing your partner's sleep.

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Speaker 3: So it's this Scandinavian method and it's like a sliding

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Speaker 3: scale of things that you can try to save our sleep,

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Speaker 3: which is what we've been really interested in need. So

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Speaker 3: things like wearing an eyemask, ear plugs, Like I think

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Speaker 3: snoring is something.

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Speaker 5: Oh yeah, so I woke up this morning and my

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Speaker 5: husband was not in the bed.

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Speaker 4: Well that's a snoring. That's the end of it.

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Speaker 3: Because you've got things like separate dooers so you don't

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Speaker 3: have the fight. Separate mattresses side by side.

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Speaker 1: Wow.

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Speaker 3: And then the very end of the divorce is the

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Speaker 3: separate rooms, which.

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Speaker 4: Sounds like where you're at.

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Speaker 1: Now, things are looking up.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, unfortunately for you. We've got an expert that we're

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Speaker 4: going to chat to about it.

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Speaker 5: Does a sleep divorce mean that I'm on the verge

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Speaker 5: of divorce.

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Speaker 3: No, It's all about bettering everyone's sleep, so you do

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Speaker 3: have more of that connected intimate time.

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Speaker 1: It's actually going to save us from divorce.

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Speaker 3: I'm not an expert in that arena given that I

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Speaker 3: am separated and divorce, so don't ask me.

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Speaker 1: Well time for the sleep expert.

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Speaker 3: Then, if you share a bed with a partner, you

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Speaker 3: might be interested in trying a sleep divorce all around

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Speaker 3: the idea of giving each person more freedom and better

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Speaker 3: quality sleep. To explain this phenomenon, I had a chat

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Speaker 3: with Rachel Beard, a sleep wellness manager at ah Beard's

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Speaker 3: Sleep Wellness Center. Rachel, I am a divorced insomniac.

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Speaker 4: Why do we need a sleep divorce?

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Speaker 8: The foundation of our health and well being is good

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Speaker 8: quality sleep. And if your sleep is not long and

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Speaker 8: uninterrupted as it should be, because your partner is either snoring, tossing,

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Speaker 8: and turning. Maybe you have different sleep schedules and you're

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Speaker 8: getting in and out of bed at separate times. But ultimately,

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Speaker 8: if your sleep is being disrupted by your partner, a

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Speaker 8: sleep divorce is more of an extreme way to help

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Speaker 8: eliminate those disturbances throughout the night.

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Speaker 3: But how can we protect that, you know, incidental intimacy

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Speaker 3: that comes with sharing a bed with someone.

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Speaker 8: Yeah, definitely, I think I wouldn't go from nothing to

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Speaker 8: a sleep divorce because that's very well could impact on

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Speaker 8: your spark or your connection possibly start smaller. Like the

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Speaker 8: Scandinavian sleep method of the separate doners is another incremental

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Speaker 8: drump that you you could implement to just test and

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Speaker 8: trial to see if it works. If a couple is

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Speaker 8: seriously having their sleep impacted by their partner's movements or

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Speaker 8: snoring or sleep talking, I'm a big sleep talker, so

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Speaker 8: my poor partner has to deal with that every now

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Speaker 8: and again. If it's severely impacting your sleep quality, then

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Speaker 8: looking at something like a sleep divorce is definitely something

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Speaker 8: to consider. Without a good night's sleep, it impacts and

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Speaker 8: manifests itself in every aspect of our lives, from our

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Speaker 8: mood and our relationships, so yeah, making incremental changes, experimenting

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Speaker 8: with new things is a great way to really prioritize

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Speaker 8: your sleep and get better sleep for both individuals. Things

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Speaker 8: like social media and TikTok have definitely increased the awareness

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Speaker 8: and really helping to reduce the taboo around sleeping separately.

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Speaker 8: Can I ask you a question analyse Yeah, of course,

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Speaker 8: when you say you're divorced insomniac, can you tell me more.

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Speaker 3: Like I would be lucky to get four hours a night?

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Speaker 7: Oh?

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Speaker 4: I know?

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Speaker 8: Wow? Out of curiosity, do you track or measure or

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Speaker 8: monitor your sleep in any way?

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Speaker 4: No, I don't.

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Speaker 3: I take sleeping tablets and melatonin really healthy.

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Speaker 8: Okay. We always tell people if you can't measure it,

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Speaker 8: you can't manage it, and we sleep how many hours

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Speaker 8: of sleep you get and how you feel when you

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Speaker 8: wake up. It's hard to truly know what's going on

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Speaker 8: in the middle of the night with all the rage

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Speaker 8: of tracking devices and wearables and non wearables. Now it's

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Speaker 8: a really great place to start to, like I said,

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Speaker 8: really know how much sleep you're getting, how much deep sleep,

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Speaker 8: how much rem sleep, and then you can kind of

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Speaker 8: create a plan from then onwards on how to positively

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Speaker 8: change it.

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Speaker 3: What do we know about the effects of bad sleep

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Speaker 3: on a relationship, because I think it's a bit of

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Speaker 3: that chicken or the egg, you know, it's like, well,

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Speaker 3: separate rooms, but we need the sleep. So if we're

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Speaker 3: not getting enough sleep, how does this change for a

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Speaker 3: relationship When we.

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Speaker 8: Don't get good quality sleep as a whole? It has

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Speaker 8: both short term and long term effects. So long term

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Speaker 8: effects putting us at an increased risk of developing serious

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Speaker 8: illness and disease like type two diabetes, heart attack, obesity,

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Speaker 8: and depression.

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Speaker 3: Okay, great, my anxiety is now spiraling just hearing this.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, even my sleep.

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Speaker 8: Those are the long term, sorry, long term health impacts

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Speaker 8: as well as short term health impacts, which is things

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Speaker 8: like our mood and our energy levels, the way that

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Speaker 8: we show up in our relationship with our partners, in

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Speaker 8: the way that we show up at work, in our productivity.

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Speaker 8: I mean, I know myself when I'm not well slept,

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Speaker 8: I am irritable and groggy, and my ability to deal

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Speaker 8: with stress is definitely not as good. So I think

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Speaker 8: when you can physically relate to the feelings of a

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Speaker 8: good night's sleep versus a bad night sleep and how

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Speaker 8: they show up, particularly to the ones that we're closest with,

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Speaker 8: like our loved ones. Unfortunately the ones that cop it

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Speaker 8: the most, followed by the people that we work with

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Speaker 8: because we spend so much time there. Highlights the importance

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Speaker 8: of prioritizing your sleep and really wanting to do something

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Speaker 8: to improve it.

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Speaker 3: And I think as well, like a really common time

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Speaker 3: is when people have new babies. That's when you're most

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Speaker 3: sleep deprived.

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Speaker 8: Definitely. I think as women, we go through so many

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Speaker 8: different hormonal changes that yes, really can impact our sleep.

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Speaker 8: Pregnancy is one, being a new mother is another. But

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Speaker 8: even on a monthly basis, with our hormonal cycle, as women,

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Speaker 8: we actually need twenty minutes more sleep than men. Do

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Speaker 8: we get that probably not. Do we need it, Yes,

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Speaker 8: we do. When you look at PMS, for example, the

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Speaker 8: symptoms are quite similar to someone that hasn't had a

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Speaker 8: good night's sleep.

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Speaker 4: That just must be made twenty four to seven.

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Speaker 3: We need to prioritize our sleep, whether we're alone, have

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Speaker 3: a partner.

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Speaker 4: This is just the most important thing.

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Speaker 8: It's the foundational pillar of health and wellbeing, alongside regular

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Speaker 8: exercise and balance nutrition. We know so much about exercise

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Speaker 8: and its benefits on our health physically, mentally, emotionally, as

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Speaker 8: well as how important it is to eat a balanced diet.

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Speaker 8: When it comes to sleep, however, what is good sleep

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Speaker 8: and how do I get it? And the fact that

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Speaker 8: how well we sleep directly impacts how we look, how

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Speaker 8: we feel, and how we perform. We should really start

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Speaker 8: with a sleep routine rather than introducing a new gym

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Speaker 8: routine or starting a new diet.

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Speaker 4: I have melatonin each night? Is that bad?

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Speaker 8: Yeah? So melotonin it's a hormone that's naturally produced in

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Speaker 8: the body, but it's only produced once there's darkness. So

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Speaker 8: when we wake up in the morning, you open your eyes,

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Speaker 8: light hits your brain, the melotonin production stops. Now we've

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Speaker 8: introduced into the bedrooms things like TVs and phones and

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Speaker 8: tablets and laptops, and that light, that blue light in

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Speaker 8: particular that's coming from devices and screens suppresses the production

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Speaker 8: of melatonin. So when doing that, particularly in the hour

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Speaker 8: before bedtime, you're literally suppressing a normal bodily function that

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Speaker 8: should be happening. Honestly, it is the simplest tip, but

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Speaker 8: it is the hardest to implement. It's one hour before

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Speaker 8: bed Be protective of that hour. No phones, no technology,

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Speaker 8: no lights, like create an environment that helps induce good

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Speaker 8: quality sleep. That is one that's cool, dark, quiet, comfy,

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Speaker 8: and a mattress or a bedroom that's saved for sleep

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Speaker 8: and intimacy only.

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Speaker 4: Okay, I've very inspired.

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Speaker 8: If one hour is too hard, start with half an hour.

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Speaker 8: Like any habit, we train ourselves into thinking that that's.

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Speaker 1: What the norm is.

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Speaker 8: So if you're going to bed and you're watching TV,

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Speaker 8: or particularly you're doing work, or if you're doing anything

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Speaker 8: other than sleep or intimacy is what we always like

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Speaker 8: to call it. You're going to train your brain that

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Speaker 8: when you hop into bed, it's wired. This is the

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Speaker 8: time where I now doom scrollings. It's habitual and your

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Speaker 8: body becomes used to it. So in order to change it,

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Speaker 8: it's uncomfortable and it takes time. It is much easier

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Speaker 8: said than done. But when I choose, for example, to

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Speaker 8: turn the TV off, put my phone away, I love

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Speaker 8: to read on my kindle before ben. When I do that,

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Speaker 8: I genuinely feel the difference. So yeah, half an hour

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Speaker 8: or ideally one hour, be protective of that time.

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Speaker 4: I really do want to fix this.

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Speaker 3: I don't want to be taking sleeping tablets and I

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Speaker 3: don't want to be living my life in half a coma.

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Speaker 4: I need to fix it.

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Speaker 8: Definitely.

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Speaker 4: Coming up on the.

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Speaker 3: Show, we hear from a mum who's scheduling dinner time

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Speaker 3: a little bit differently.

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Speaker 8: I found this disruption. It was chaotic, chaotic.

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Speaker 9: We would get home and they would just beg me

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Speaker 9: for food, kids dinner time.

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Speaker 7: My name is Amy Connor and I live in regional.

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Speaker 8: New South Wales.

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Speaker 7: Around my dinner table is my husband Shay, my daughter

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Speaker 7: Mali who's seven, my daughter Indy who's five, my daughter

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Speaker 7: Billy who's three, and my little one Body who is

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Speaker 7: just about two.

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Speaker 9: I think the first meal I can remember being taught

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Speaker 9: how to cook is just like a cheese toasty because

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Speaker 9: I was pretty fussy kid. Cheese toasties were like my thing,

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Speaker 9: and my mum used to sneak vegetables in there. Tube.

445
00:22:03,770 --> 00:22:06,370
Speaker 9: That was the first kind of safe meal that I.

446
00:22:06,250 --> 00:22:07,970
Speaker 8: Can remember making myself.

447
00:22:08,210 --> 00:22:12,290
Speaker 9: I love baking and I love just using my imagination,

448
00:22:12,530 --> 00:22:15,010
Speaker 9: so I don't actually follow recipes and I just bake

449
00:22:15,090 --> 00:22:18,370
Speaker 9: from my heart and I just chuck things in and

450
00:22:18,730 --> 00:22:23,370
Speaker 9: I throw scraps in there, like repurposing food, and I

451
00:22:23,490 --> 00:22:26,970
Speaker 9: just loved that. I think baking is really my niche,

452
00:22:27,090 --> 00:22:29,370
Speaker 9: but if it had to be like a dinner time meal,

453
00:22:29,490 --> 00:22:32,850
Speaker 9: I love making Mexican like Mexican rice bowls. I just

454
00:22:32,890 --> 00:22:37,250
Speaker 9: love your basic chicken snitzle like I love crumbing it

455
00:22:37,410 --> 00:22:41,090
Speaker 9: and just like really making them delicious and juicy, and

456
00:22:41,130 --> 00:22:44,370
Speaker 9: everyone eats that in my house. So we started making

457
00:22:44,450 --> 00:22:48,850
Speaker 9: dinner time a little bit different. When Marley, my eldest,

458
00:22:49,010 --> 00:22:52,170
Speaker 9: started going to school, I found this destruction.

459
00:22:52,570 --> 00:22:54,290
Speaker 8: I had to all get in the car and go

460
00:22:54,330 --> 00:22:56,530
Speaker 8: and pick her up. It was chaotic, chaotic.

461
00:22:56,650 --> 00:22:59,930
Speaker 9: We would get home and they would just beg me

462
00:23:00,050 --> 00:23:02,450
Speaker 9: for food. The snacks that I'm grabbing are not good.

463
00:23:02,530 --> 00:23:04,130
Speaker 9: I'm going to put my hand up there. I was

464
00:23:04,130 --> 00:23:07,050
Speaker 9: grabbing chips, lolli's, all those things that I was having

465
00:23:07,090 --> 00:23:09,530
Speaker 9: behavioral issues and all that kind of stuff. And I

466
00:23:09,610 --> 00:23:12,090
Speaker 9: was like, this isn't working. Why don't I just feed

467
00:23:12,090 --> 00:23:14,490
Speaker 9: them dinner when they get home. And I just thought, okay,

468
00:23:14,530 --> 00:23:17,970
Speaker 9: so I'm going to start prepping dinner in that downtime

469
00:23:18,010 --> 00:23:20,450
Speaker 9: at lunch when two of them were at least asleep,

470
00:23:20,730 --> 00:23:22,210
Speaker 9: and then the other one is just having a bit

471
00:23:22,250 --> 00:23:24,970
Speaker 9: of a rest time. And then the second we walk

472
00:23:25,010 --> 00:23:28,090
Speaker 9: through that door after school, pickup, which is probably about

473
00:23:28,090 --> 00:23:28,730
Speaker 9: three o'clock.

474
00:23:28,810 --> 00:23:29,970
Speaker 8: If it's pasta, I'll.

475
00:23:29,810 --> 00:23:31,490
Speaker 1: Just reheat it. It's all ready to go.

476
00:23:31,930 --> 00:23:34,370
Speaker 9: If it's chicken snitzel and potatoes, I just chuck them

477
00:23:34,370 --> 00:23:36,890
Speaker 9: in the air fryer and it just takes me ten

478
00:23:37,010 --> 00:23:38,970
Speaker 9: fifteen minutes to heat up, and then they all can

479
00:23:39,010 --> 00:23:41,570
Speaker 9: just sit down and eat, and they just eat their

480
00:23:41,570 --> 00:23:44,970
Speaker 9: dinners so much easier. Doesn't really change the bedtime. And

481
00:23:45,010 --> 00:23:47,650
Speaker 9: I always offer them, like we call it bedtime toast

482
00:23:47,930 --> 00:23:50,370
Speaker 9: or bedtime fruit or bedtime yogurt, and they can have

483
00:23:50,450 --> 00:23:52,730
Speaker 9: that and at least I know that their time is

484
00:23:52,770 --> 00:23:54,810
Speaker 9: a full before they go to bed. I just want

485
00:23:54,850 --> 00:23:57,170
Speaker 9: them to have like a really nice relationship with food,

486
00:23:57,250 --> 00:23:59,810
Speaker 9: and I always have. So I'm not one to like

487
00:24:00,050 --> 00:24:02,170
Speaker 9: force them to eat something they're not going to eat,

488
00:24:02,250 --> 00:24:05,090
Speaker 9: just as long as they're eating getting their nutrition through

489
00:24:05,090 --> 00:24:05,450
Speaker 9: the day.

490
00:24:09,130 --> 00:24:13,170
Speaker 1: Nailed it failed? Have you got a nail or a

491
00:24:13,210 --> 00:24:14,610
Speaker 1: fail for me? This week?

492
00:24:14,970 --> 00:24:15,890
Speaker 4: I'm going fail?

493
00:24:16,010 --> 00:24:18,610
Speaker 1: Oh, so you kick it off? Go girl.

494
00:24:18,930 --> 00:24:22,330
Speaker 3: So we had our chat with our sleep specialist Rachel

495
00:24:22,370 --> 00:24:25,210
Speaker 3: earlier in the week, and then producer Grace and I

496
00:24:25,250 --> 00:24:28,010
Speaker 3: realized how terrible we are and all sort of the

497
00:24:28,210 --> 00:24:31,770
Speaker 3: things and learnings everything we're doing wrong, and we agreed

498
00:24:31,810 --> 00:24:34,290
Speaker 3: we're not going to have screens for one hour before bed.

499
00:24:34,810 --> 00:24:37,330
Speaker 3: So basically the rule is for bed, it's just for

500
00:24:37,450 --> 00:24:39,490
Speaker 3: sleep and intimacy, nothing else.

501
00:24:40,410 --> 00:24:42,490
Speaker 1: So that was my favorite place to watch TV.

502
00:24:42,770 --> 00:24:45,530
Speaker 3: Well that's what you can't do. So night one, I

503
00:24:45,570 --> 00:24:48,010
Speaker 3: wake up. The next morning, I get a text message

504
00:24:48,130 --> 00:24:52,210
Speaker 3: producer Grace my sleep routine last night, glass of wine,

505
00:24:52,250 --> 00:24:57,290
Speaker 3: melotonin and Grey's Anatomy, all in bed, sliding scale emoji.

506
00:24:57,330 --> 00:25:00,330
Speaker 3: I'll start being a new person tonight, and I said,

507
00:25:00,610 --> 00:25:03,210
Speaker 3: I don't want to talk about mine, all right, I

508
00:25:03,250 --> 00:25:07,930
Speaker 3: will Instagram sleeping tablet, melatonin, all in bed. And I

509
00:25:08,090 --> 00:25:10,650
Speaker 3: was alone, but still managed to get the intimacy part right.

510
00:25:12,530 --> 00:25:14,810
Speaker 1: I thought she said no electronics in bed.

511
00:25:17,250 --> 00:25:19,210
Speaker 4: So that was my nail. Then it was a nail

512
00:25:19,250 --> 00:25:21,090
Speaker 4: and fail. What about you?

513
00:25:21,090 --> 00:25:24,490
Speaker 5: What's your okay? So my fail is I'm trying to

514
00:25:24,530 --> 00:25:28,130
Speaker 5: put off buying a thing. The twins' best friend at

515
00:25:28,130 --> 00:25:32,890
Speaker 5: school got this doll for her birthday. And when I

516
00:25:32,890 --> 00:25:36,490
Speaker 5: say doll, it's like one of those life.

517
00:25:35,290 --> 00:25:37,210
Speaker 4: Like a creepy newborn.

518
00:25:37,410 --> 00:25:38,050
Speaker 1: Yes is it?

519
00:25:38,090 --> 00:25:41,130
Speaker 4: We and poo oh, I don't know, but it looks real.

520
00:25:41,250 --> 00:25:44,010
Speaker 5: Their best friend is obsessed with this doll, and like

521
00:25:44,290 --> 00:25:45,970
Speaker 5: me and her mum laugh about it because they're like, oh,

522
00:25:45,970 --> 00:25:48,450
Speaker 5: it's a bit chucky dollish, you know, her little girl's

523
00:25:48,490 --> 00:25:50,930
Speaker 5: obsessed with it. And then of course my twins are like,

524
00:25:51,050 --> 00:25:53,970
Speaker 5: oh my god, we need these dolls. So, like the

525
00:25:54,050 --> 00:25:58,490
Speaker 5: mom sent me the website, I'm scrolling these dolls with

526
00:25:58,690 --> 00:26:02,690
Speaker 5: Indian Sammy going why why do you want one of these?

527
00:26:03,050 --> 00:26:06,530
Speaker 5: And they literally are the creepiest things I've ever seen.

528
00:26:06,610 --> 00:26:09,170
Speaker 5: You can either get eyes open, eyes closed. They've even

529
00:26:09,170 --> 00:26:12,970
Speaker 5: got like the little smooshy wrinkles around the eyes like newborns,

530
00:26:13,050 --> 00:26:14,570
Speaker 5: you know how, they're like really pudgy.

531
00:26:15,170 --> 00:26:15,850
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh.

532
00:26:15,850 --> 00:26:18,650
Speaker 5: Anyway, so I have been using it as my bribe

533
00:26:19,250 --> 00:26:21,730
Speaker 5: because these dolls are not check either. I'm like, she

534
00:26:21,890 --> 00:26:24,330
Speaker 5: got it for her birthday. You got to earn this,

535
00:26:24,810 --> 00:26:27,530
Speaker 5: but I'm trying to prolong it because I'm not sure

536
00:26:27,610 --> 00:26:29,250
Speaker 5: I will sleep with these dolls.

537
00:26:29,690 --> 00:26:32,050
Speaker 4: And you'd have to have two of them, having twins.

538
00:26:31,730 --> 00:26:33,530
Speaker 5: Too, and then you have to go shopping for the

539
00:26:33,570 --> 00:26:35,690
Speaker 5: clothes because and the girls are like, because we want

540
00:26:35,690 --> 00:26:37,370
Speaker 5: to practice being a mom, and I'm like, well I

541
00:26:37,370 --> 00:26:40,410
Speaker 5: didn't practice. You guys just all popped out of me,

542
00:26:40,730 --> 00:26:42,290
Speaker 5: and here I have to figure it out, like you

543
00:26:42,290 --> 00:26:43,250
Speaker 5: guys can figure it out.

544
00:26:43,370 --> 00:26:46,130
Speaker 1: Do we need the creepy dolls and they come like

545
00:26:46,210 --> 00:26:48,370
Speaker 1: you can get the cloth ones or the Silicon.

546
00:26:48,770 --> 00:26:50,330
Speaker 4: Sun and waited?

547
00:26:50,490 --> 00:26:51,690
Speaker 1: Yes, they're very heavy.

548
00:26:51,770 --> 00:26:52,450
Speaker 4: That's gross.

549
00:26:52,770 --> 00:26:54,570
Speaker 5: I feel like we should just ditch the nails and

550
00:26:54,570 --> 00:26:57,490
Speaker 5: fails and just call it fails and fails fails upon fails.

551
00:26:57,570 --> 00:26:58,890
Speaker 4: I think that's more on brand for us.

552
00:27:00,450 --> 00:27:02,730
Speaker 5: Well, thank you for listening to This Glorious Mess. We

553
00:27:02,850 --> 00:27:05,330
Speaker 5: hope you've enjoyed the episode, and we'd love it if

554
00:27:05,330 --> 00:27:06,610
Speaker 5: you left us a rating.

555
00:27:06,610 --> 00:27:09,370
Speaker 3: All of you, but only if you really like the show. Yeah, yeah,

556
00:27:09,810 --> 00:27:12,490
Speaker 3: If you've got a dilemma you'd like Sarah Marita solve,

557
00:27:12,570 --> 00:27:14,450
Speaker 3: you can leave us a voice note by following the

558
00:27:14,490 --> 00:27:16,490
Speaker 3: link in the show notes, or get in touch at

559
00:27:16,490 --> 00:27:19,930
Speaker 3: TGM at mamameat dot com, dot are you, or come

560
00:27:20,010 --> 00:27:22,970
Speaker 3: jump on the socials and find us at this Glorious

561
00:27:22,970 --> 00:27:24,730
Speaker 3: Mess on Instagram and Facebook.

562
00:27:24,770 --> 00:27:27,490
Speaker 5: This episode was produced by Grace Rube with audio production

563
00:27:27,570 --> 00:27:28,250
Speaker 5: by Lou Hill.

564
00:27:28,370 --> 00:27:30,970
Speaker 3: See you next week, see you next week and to

565
00:27:31,010 --> 00:27:33,530
Speaker 3: the help, I have a teenager listener. If you liked

566
00:27:33,610 --> 00:27:36,370
Speaker 3: this episode, there's a link in the show notes. See

567
00:27:36,410 --> 00:27:37,810
Speaker 3: you over at this glorious mess.