1 00:00:10,214 --> 00:00:13,294 Speaker 1: So much you're listening to a Muma Mea podcast. 2 00:00:14,094 --> 00:00:17,174 Speaker 2: Mumma Mea acknowledges the traditional owners of land and waters 3 00:00:17,214 --> 00:00:20,334 Speaker 2: that this podcast is recorded on. Hey Quiki Friends, Taylor 4 00:00:20,454 --> 00:00:23,854 Speaker 2: dropping into your podcast feed this fine weekend with another 5 00:00:23,934 --> 00:00:28,774 Speaker 2: listening reco Now, the conversation around mental health is constant 6 00:00:29,054 --> 00:00:32,254 Speaker 2: here in the newsroom. We're always seeing stories about mental health, 7 00:00:32,414 --> 00:00:35,054 Speaker 2: how to talk about it, and how to support people 8 00:00:35,174 --> 00:00:39,094 Speaker 2: to get mentally fit almost daily, which makes sense when 9 00:00:39,094 --> 00:00:41,174 Speaker 2: you think about the fact that one in five Ossies 10 00:00:41,334 --> 00:00:45,254 Speaker 2: experience a mental health condition each year. But despite so 11 00:00:45,414 --> 00:00:47,934 Speaker 2: many of us living with a mental health condition, too 12 00:00:47,974 --> 00:00:52,574 Speaker 2: many suffer in silence. Talking about our feelings and experiences 13 00:00:52,694 --> 00:00:55,774 Speaker 2: is one of the most powerful steps towards healing and 14 00:00:56,054 --> 00:00:59,134 Speaker 2: knowing you're not alone, which is where our new series 15 00:00:59,294 --> 00:01:02,494 Speaker 2: I Never Told You This comes in. I Never Told 16 00:01:02,574 --> 00:01:06,734 Speaker 2: You This was created to spark honest, meaningful conversations supporting 17 00:01:06,814 --> 00:01:10,734 Speaker 2: better mental well being. Now new episodes dropping every single 18 00:01:10,734 --> 00:01:14,054 Speaker 2: week in the butter You Happy Feed, but you can 19 00:01:14,094 --> 00:01:17,214 Speaker 2: take a listen to the first episode here right now. 20 00:01:18,894 --> 00:01:20,694 Speaker 3: I have anxiety myself. I don't even know what to 21 00:01:20,734 --> 00:01:22,054 Speaker 3: do with it. Do you know how to deal with it. 22 00:01:22,094 --> 00:01:23,494 Speaker 3: I feel like we don't really know how to deal 23 00:01:23,534 --> 00:01:25,254 Speaker 3: with it. We just kind of get up and just 24 00:01:25,294 --> 00:01:27,214 Speaker 3: seize the day. It doesn't matter how you're feeling. 25 00:01:27,494 --> 00:01:31,214 Speaker 4: Soldier on two people, one big reveal. I never told 26 00:01:31,254 --> 00:01:33,694 Speaker 4: you this a simple card game where one question could 27 00:01:33,774 --> 00:01:37,534 Speaker 4: change everything. It starts like, what more things brings me joy? 28 00:01:37,694 --> 00:01:39,134 Speaker 1: I'm not going to answer that. 29 00:01:39,934 --> 00:01:42,534 Speaker 4: Then comes the moment that could shift a relationship forever. 30 00:01:42,774 --> 00:01:45,494 Speaker 4: As they finished this sentence, I never told you this. 31 00:01:45,734 --> 00:01:47,694 Speaker 1: I've never told you. They never told you this. 32 00:01:50,734 --> 00:01:54,454 Speaker 4: Today, Reality TV influences mother and daughter duo Mary and 33 00:01:54,454 --> 00:01:57,174 Speaker 4: Martha Califordidas will be sitting down together. 34 00:01:57,174 --> 00:01:59,054 Speaker 1: Quite nervous, but I'm always nervous. 35 00:01:59,614 --> 00:02:01,894 Speaker 4: Mary has something big to reveal to her daughter. 36 00:02:02,094 --> 00:02:04,614 Speaker 5: I don't think she's expecting me to say what I'm 37 00:02:04,614 --> 00:02:05,254 Speaker 5: going to say. 38 00:02:06,374 --> 00:02:09,054 Speaker 3: Welcome, Martha, Oh thanks for having me, Mary. This is 39 00:02:09,054 --> 00:02:10,654 Speaker 3: a bit you for us, I know. 40 00:02:11,054 --> 00:02:11,494 Speaker 1: Welcome. 41 00:02:12,174 --> 00:02:15,414 Speaker 5: So today we're going to play a little game with 42 00:02:15,494 --> 00:02:17,254 Speaker 5: the Medibank family roast cards. 43 00:02:17,294 --> 00:02:18,334 Speaker 1: Are you ready to play? 44 00:02:18,574 --> 00:02:20,054 Speaker 3: Yes, let's get into this game. 45 00:02:20,134 --> 00:02:22,614 Speaker 1: I think we need a little game. So who picks? There? 46 00:02:22,774 --> 00:02:27,174 Speaker 1: You go for it? Oh? Are you ready? Oh? What 47 00:02:27,294 --> 00:02:29,454 Speaker 1: is the most ridiculous fashion trend. 48 00:02:29,614 --> 00:02:33,774 Speaker 3: You ever followed those thick fat belts that were like 49 00:02:33,814 --> 00:02:35,894 Speaker 3: a boob troop and we'd wear them over the jeans. 50 00:02:36,014 --> 00:02:38,054 Speaker 3: That has to be one of the ugliest things I 51 00:02:38,094 --> 00:02:40,414 Speaker 3: ever did. I'm five foot two and that made me 52 00:02:40,494 --> 00:02:41,174 Speaker 3: four foot two. 53 00:02:41,334 --> 00:02:44,214 Speaker 5: I probably told you, but you wouldn't probably listen. 54 00:02:44,294 --> 00:02:45,814 Speaker 3: Here we go. She had to throw that one in 55 00:02:45,854 --> 00:02:48,894 Speaker 3: my face and just saying kid, just saying, all right, 56 00:02:48,974 --> 00:02:52,054 Speaker 3: so I'll pick a card. Oh, what is something I 57 00:02:52,294 --> 00:02:53,974 Speaker 3: do that grosses you out? 58 00:02:54,254 --> 00:02:56,134 Speaker 1: I don't think you do anything they do not. 59 00:02:56,574 --> 00:02:58,814 Speaker 3: No, that's right, good answer, Mary. 60 00:02:58,934 --> 00:03:02,174 Speaker 1: What about me? Oh don't because I can say so 61 00:03:02,294 --> 00:03:04,094 Speaker 1: many things. I bring it to the table. 62 00:03:04,334 --> 00:03:07,494 Speaker 5: Putting your cuticles, well, that's just like meditation. 63 00:03:07,654 --> 00:03:09,294 Speaker 3: If you go and get that done and then you 64 00:03:09,414 --> 00:03:11,694 Speaker 3: like to do more and just keep cutting the cuticle, 65 00:03:11,934 --> 00:03:14,614 Speaker 3: it must be a nervous It's definitely a nervous habit. 66 00:03:14,734 --> 00:03:18,654 Speaker 1: Okay, I'll take that, all right, go next? Oh is 67 00:03:18,694 --> 00:03:23,974 Speaker 1: that me? What do you think your most useless talent is? 68 00:03:24,134 --> 00:03:25,054 Speaker 1: You've got plenty of those. 69 00:03:25,134 --> 00:03:27,214 Speaker 3: I don't think I've got any. I just there's no 70 00:03:27,294 --> 00:03:29,294 Speaker 3: timeless for uselessness in our family. 71 00:03:29,614 --> 00:03:30,214 Speaker 5: I agree. 72 00:03:30,414 --> 00:03:33,214 Speaker 3: What about how you can you start singing every single 73 00:03:33,214 --> 00:03:36,614 Speaker 3: commercial song that's ever come on since like nineteen. 74 00:03:36,254 --> 00:03:41,494 Speaker 1: Eighty fifties from the Earth. I'm going to pick the 75 00:03:41,574 --> 00:03:46,134 Speaker 1: next card. I never told you this. 76 00:03:50,574 --> 00:03:55,814 Speaker 5: When you went on reality TV, all these comments would 77 00:03:55,894 --> 00:04:00,454 Speaker 5: come in on social media. It actually affected me, but 78 00:04:00,494 --> 00:04:03,214 Speaker 5: I didn't want to show you that it was affecting me. 79 00:04:03,774 --> 00:04:06,574 Speaker 5: All these comments that were coming in, and I'd be 80 00:04:06,614 --> 00:04:08,974 Speaker 5: staying up till three four in the morning, and I 81 00:04:09,014 --> 00:04:13,334 Speaker 5: didn't really how toxic social media can be. I didn't 82 00:04:13,374 --> 00:04:16,814 Speaker 5: know as a parent how I can comfort you. 83 00:04:16,854 --> 00:04:19,414 Speaker 3: No, I can totally understand how that would have affected you. 84 00:04:19,974 --> 00:04:23,414 Speaker 3: With the trolls on the internet, they think they know me, 85 00:04:23,654 --> 00:04:25,774 Speaker 3: but you really know me, and so you were reading 86 00:04:25,854 --> 00:04:28,214 Speaker 3: things that weren't true, and then that would be just 87 00:04:28,414 --> 00:04:29,414 Speaker 3: endless cycle. 88 00:04:29,614 --> 00:04:32,494 Speaker 5: Now you're a parent, and I'm sure you would probably do. 89 00:04:32,494 --> 00:04:35,494 Speaker 3: The same now that I'm a parent, I just want 90 00:04:35,534 --> 00:04:37,494 Speaker 3: to protect him from everything I. 91 00:04:37,414 --> 00:04:38,574 Speaker 1: Could only imagine. 92 00:04:38,574 --> 00:04:40,174 Speaker 5: And that's why I didn't want to burden you with 93 00:04:40,534 --> 00:04:44,094 Speaker 5: I've got anxiety, I can't sleep. I was I had 94 00:04:44,134 --> 00:04:47,254 Speaker 5: shortness of breath, like I was thinking, Mom, don't yeah, 95 00:04:47,294 --> 00:04:48,294 Speaker 5: But that's how it was. 96 00:04:49,774 --> 00:04:52,014 Speaker 3: I think to some degree, I did have some idea 97 00:04:52,054 --> 00:04:55,814 Speaker 3: because you did start acting really strange. I definitely think. 98 00:04:55,894 --> 00:04:58,814 Speaker 3: I know you were staying up really late looking at comments, 99 00:04:58,894 --> 00:05:01,574 Speaker 3: and I remember just being to you, like, don't worry 100 00:05:01,614 --> 00:05:04,254 Speaker 3: about it, man, like it's fine. But I think at 101 00:05:04,294 --> 00:05:07,894 Speaker 3: the time I didn't want to show you either that 102 00:05:08,134 --> 00:05:10,734 Speaker 3: it was affecting me. I would just say, oh to you, 103 00:05:10,814 --> 00:05:13,254 Speaker 3: like it doesn't matter, but really, like I would be 104 00:05:13,254 --> 00:05:15,934 Speaker 3: in my room staying upbreading the comments as well. So 105 00:05:16,254 --> 00:05:18,094 Speaker 3: I have anxiety myself. I don't even know what to 106 00:05:18,094 --> 00:05:19,454 Speaker 3: do with it. Do you know how to deal with it? 107 00:05:19,454 --> 00:05:20,854 Speaker 3: I feel like we don't really know how to deal 108 00:05:20,894 --> 00:05:22,694 Speaker 3: with it. We just kind of move on with the 109 00:05:22,774 --> 00:05:24,654 Speaker 3: day and just keep the day going, But it doesn't 110 00:05:24,654 --> 00:05:26,494 Speaker 3: mean that the anxiety goes away. 111 00:05:31,294 --> 00:05:33,294 Speaker 6: The rest of this episode of I never told you 112 00:05:33,334 --> 00:05:35,134 Speaker 6: this right after the break. 113 00:05:38,494 --> 00:05:41,334 Speaker 5: Thinking back, I should have just been more open and 114 00:05:41,374 --> 00:05:43,854 Speaker 5: told you, like, you know what, it's normal to feel 115 00:05:43,854 --> 00:05:46,454 Speaker 5: this way because I'm feeling this way. Yeah, I think 116 00:05:46,574 --> 00:05:48,494 Speaker 5: if this had done that, we probably would have been 117 00:05:48,494 --> 00:05:51,014 Speaker 5: able to, you know, commune and pack it and then 118 00:05:51,134 --> 00:05:53,134 Speaker 5: just deal with it in the open instead of dealing 119 00:05:53,134 --> 00:05:54,134 Speaker 5: with it separately in. 120 00:05:54,094 --> 00:05:55,214 Speaker 1: Our different rooms. 121 00:05:55,454 --> 00:05:58,574 Speaker 3: Yeah, but that's very That's very much what our family does, 122 00:05:58,614 --> 00:06:02,774 Speaker 3: though we're not very good at revealing, which is strange 123 00:06:03,134 --> 00:06:07,294 Speaker 3: because we're so open that's about everything, about movements and everything, 124 00:06:07,414 --> 00:06:10,214 Speaker 3: because we've brought up to be like quite hard. 125 00:06:10,014 --> 00:06:13,134 Speaker 1: And like strong and tarbodic. No, you can't get over it. 126 00:06:13,254 --> 00:06:15,294 Speaker 1: Get up and just seize the day. It doesn't matter 127 00:06:15,334 --> 00:06:16,814 Speaker 1: how you're feeling. Soldier on. 128 00:06:17,854 --> 00:06:20,614 Speaker 5: When I was growing up, our parents were very strict. 129 00:06:20,614 --> 00:06:23,134 Speaker 5: They never showed emotion, They never you know, I. 130 00:06:23,094 --> 00:06:24,294 Speaker 3: Just find that hard to believe. 131 00:06:24,374 --> 00:06:24,534 Speaker 6: Yeah. 132 00:06:24,574 --> 00:06:28,374 Speaker 3: Yeah, it is like the most softest, sweetest, gentlest, emotional, 133 00:06:28,934 --> 00:06:29,974 Speaker 3: loving caring. 134 00:06:30,054 --> 00:06:31,374 Speaker 1: She wasn't when we were growing up. 135 00:06:31,414 --> 00:06:33,054 Speaker 3: I just find it hard to believe. 136 00:06:34,254 --> 00:06:37,654 Speaker 1: She was strict. Get up old age. 137 00:06:38,574 --> 00:06:39,694 Speaker 3: It really softens you. 138 00:06:39,734 --> 00:06:42,934 Speaker 1: It breaks you down. 139 00:06:44,494 --> 00:06:47,894 Speaker 5: With like searching and being like my own little detective. 140 00:06:48,334 --> 00:06:51,134 Speaker 5: I noticed that a lot of these comments weren't coming 141 00:06:51,174 --> 00:06:54,454 Speaker 5: from young kids that were just being mean. These were 142 00:06:54,454 --> 00:06:58,254 Speaker 5: from parents that had kids. How could you try and 143 00:06:58,334 --> 00:07:02,374 Speaker 5: destroy someone else's child. People want kids to be kind, 144 00:07:02,574 --> 00:07:05,054 Speaker 5: but they don't teach them the tools to be kind 145 00:07:05,534 --> 00:07:07,814 Speaker 5: and not to bring other people down. You know, like 146 00:07:07,934 --> 00:07:09,134 Speaker 5: kids are mean today. 147 00:07:09,774 --> 00:07:12,014 Speaker 1: I hate that. I learn that from somewhere. 148 00:07:12,094 --> 00:07:14,694 Speaker 5: Yeah, but that's what I'm saying. The parents are the 149 00:07:14,694 --> 00:07:16,654 Speaker 5: ones that need to actually change. 150 00:07:17,134 --> 00:07:19,134 Speaker 3: I kind of feel a bit sad for you in 151 00:07:19,134 --> 00:07:20,694 Speaker 3: a way that you kind of dealt with that on 152 00:07:20,734 --> 00:07:21,094 Speaker 3: your own. 153 00:07:22,294 --> 00:07:24,654 Speaker 1: That's what parents do, you know. 154 00:07:24,774 --> 00:07:27,774 Speaker 5: They try to protect I think, their kids as much 155 00:07:27,814 --> 00:07:31,814 Speaker 5: as they can. You know, So if your son was 156 00:07:31,854 --> 00:07:35,054 Speaker 5: dealing with anxiety, how would you help. 157 00:07:34,854 --> 00:07:36,774 Speaker 1: Him growing up? 158 00:07:36,974 --> 00:07:40,934 Speaker 3: You always said those that matter don't mind, and those 159 00:07:40,974 --> 00:07:43,694 Speaker 3: that mind don't matter. It doesn't really matter, because who 160 00:07:43,694 --> 00:07:45,494 Speaker 3: are these people to you? As long as, like you know, 161 00:07:45,614 --> 00:07:48,454 Speaker 3: your friends, your family, the people that you care about, 162 00:07:48,934 --> 00:07:51,374 Speaker 3: the opinions of others don't really matter. 163 00:07:52,494 --> 00:07:53,214 Speaker 1: That's good. 164 00:07:53,334 --> 00:07:56,174 Speaker 3: At least you've got something that stuck, stuck from all 165 00:07:56,214 --> 00:07:56,854 Speaker 3: those years. 166 00:07:58,694 --> 00:08:00,174 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's not easy being a parent. 167 00:08:00,254 --> 00:08:02,614 Speaker 3: It's so not It's the hardest thing ever. It's so 168 00:08:02,734 --> 00:08:05,774 Speaker 3: not easy being a parent. I appreciate it. 169 00:08:06,294 --> 00:08:08,414 Speaker 1: Oh, thank you, Mary, no worries. 170 00:08:10,334 --> 00:08:14,294 Speaker 3: Yeah, and it's nice to know that you're human under 171 00:08:14,334 --> 00:08:16,494 Speaker 3: all that. Yeah, it's nice to know that under all 172 00:08:16,534 --> 00:08:20,374 Speaker 3: there there is actually some flesh and blood. Well done, 173 00:08:20,454 --> 00:08:21,014 Speaker 3: fish pump. 174 00:08:21,414 --> 00:08:23,094 Speaker 1: Oh is that something we do still? 175 00:08:29,854 --> 00:08:32,774 Speaker 6: This episode was brought to you by Medibank Live Better 176 00:08:32,854 --> 00:08:36,414 Speaker 6: with Medibank. If this conversation brought up any strong feelings 177 00:08:36,414 --> 00:08:39,254 Speaker 6: for you, don't forget there is help out there. Please 178 00:08:39,294 --> 00:08:40,814 Speaker 6: see show notes for resources.