WEBVTT - EXTRA: Ginni Mansberg Says You're Not Going Mad 0:00:08.234 --> 0:00:12.994 You're listening to another mere podcast. 0:00:14.514 --> 0:00:18.994 Hello, Unleashes mea Friedman in your ears. And one of 0:00:19.074 --> 0:00:23.073 the things I love most about podcasts and Unleashed in particular, 0:00:23.754 --> 0:00:27.914 is the way you get to see different sides of 0:00:27.954 --> 0:00:31.834 our co hosts on this show. They're all amazing and 0:00:31.834 --> 0:00:34.273 accomplished in their own fields, and some of them you 0:00:34.314 --> 0:00:37.354 were probably familiar with before you started listening to the show. 0:00:37.554 --> 0:00:40.193 Some of them were probably new to you. But what 0:00:40.314 --> 0:00:44.153 I love about this show is that you get to 0:00:44.193 --> 0:00:47.873 see different sides of them, and you also get to 0:00:47.913 --> 0:00:52.633 see that kind of friendship chemistry dynamic that's developing in 0:00:52.674 --> 0:00:54.673 real time. So they're kind of getting to know and 0:00:54.714 --> 0:00:57.754 falling in love with each other, and we're all getting 0:00:57.754 --> 0:01:01.074 to know and falling in love with them. So many 0:01:01.074 --> 0:01:03.273 of you have said, we actually want more, We want 0:01:03.273 --> 0:01:06.473 to know these women even better. So today I've brought 0:01:06.514 --> 0:01:09.314 you from the Art Chives one of my first chats 0:01:09.354 --> 0:01:11.394 with doctor Ginny Mannsberg. I think it was the first 0:01:11.474 --> 0:01:15.594 time I met Ginny. She has a fascinating story of 0:01:15.634 --> 0:01:19.394 her own, and she's the kind of doctor that every 0:01:19.434 --> 0:01:23.274 woman dreams of having. She's honest, she's got a sense 0:01:23.274 --> 0:01:27.994 of humor, no bullshit, And she's an absolute expert on 0:01:28.034 --> 0:01:31.634 what your hormones are up to, particularly in this midlife 0:01:31.634 --> 0:01:34.714 stage that I'm at, our hosts are at, and you're 0:01:34.754 --> 0:01:39.314 probably at two or will be at soon. So if 0:01:39.394 --> 0:01:42.234 you love the unfiltered no Bs conversations that you get 0:01:42.234 --> 0:01:44.954 here on Unleashed, you are gonna love this episode from 0:01:44.994 --> 0:01:47.994 the archives of No Filter. Here is my one on 0:01:47.994 --> 0:01:50.474 one conversation with doctor Ginny Mansburg. 0:01:52.434 --> 0:01:54.794 So, seventy five percent of women will get hot flushes 0:01:55.074 --> 0:01:56.074 and it's a lot. 0:01:56.354 --> 0:01:58.954 Well, I think it's seventy five percent is a lot. 0:01:59.074 --> 0:02:00.394 Yeah, and I thought you were going to say, oh, 0:02:00.394 --> 0:02:01.754 you know, it's only twenty percent. 0:02:01.954 --> 0:02:03.394 No, it's a lot most of us. 0:02:03.514 --> 0:02:06.794 Yeah, and a third of those men will find them unbearable. 0:02:07.714 --> 0:02:09.793 So that in my back of the envelope, Mask says 0:02:09.794 --> 0:02:13.074 that one in five women will hit menopause with unbearable 0:02:13.073 --> 0:02:13.634 hot flushes. 0:02:13.794 --> 0:02:17.354 That is a big group of us. Hello, and welcome 0:02:17.354 --> 0:02:17.994 to No Filter. 0:02:18.274 --> 0:02:22.474 I'm mea friedman and I'm possibly perimenopausal. Before you say 0:02:22.474 --> 0:02:24.714 to yourself, well that is too much information. I don't 0:02:24.714 --> 0:02:27.434 want to know about your periods. Thanks, Look, I guess 0:02:27.474 --> 0:02:30.874 that's fair enough. However, if you are a woman or 0:02:30.914 --> 0:02:33.994 a man who knows a woman, Perry menopause, which is 0:02:33.994 --> 0:02:37.274 the little sister to actual menopause, is coming into your 0:02:37.314 --> 0:02:40.034 life at some stage, and so you better be prepared 0:02:40.074 --> 0:02:42.474 for it, because you know what, It's not just about 0:02:42.474 --> 0:02:43.354 your period stopping. 0:02:43.434 --> 0:02:45.074 Oh no, Harry. 0:02:45.114 --> 0:02:48.194 Menopause can last as long as seven years, can start 0:02:48.234 --> 0:02:51.434 as early as your thirties, and can include everything from 0:02:51.514 --> 0:02:55.714 changes to your genitals to changes in your mood, big changes. 0:02:56.394 --> 0:03:00.234 Doctor Jenny Mansberg knows a lot about perimenopause, and because 0:03:00.274 --> 0:03:02.874 she's in her fifties now and she's going through it 0:03:02.874 --> 0:03:06.274 too as many of her patients, she's written a book 0:03:06.394 --> 0:03:10.034 called The m Wor that busts myths and offers plenty 0:03:10.274 --> 0:03:14.354 of advice. Ginny herself is pretty awesome. She's been a 0:03:14.354 --> 0:03:18.154 single mum, a political advisor, she has a skincare company 0:03:18.194 --> 0:03:21.234 as her side hustle. She's hosted TV shows, and she 0:03:21.314 --> 0:03:22.514 continues to work. 0:03:22.354 --> 0:03:26.154 In general practice. So if you have a vagina or 0:03:26.314 --> 0:03:27.674 know someone who does. 0:03:27.754 --> 0:03:29.394 You'll really want to hear this conversation. 0:03:30.034 --> 0:03:30.794 Here's Ginny. 0:03:36.354 --> 0:03:39.914 Tell me about your first date with your second husband. 0:03:41.394 --> 0:03:43.794 Have you heard about this? I've heard about this. 0:03:44.154 --> 0:03:46.954 It's the best story I've ever heard about a first day. 0:03:47.514 --> 0:03:51.434 So he had three children. I had three children. I 0:03:51.474 --> 0:03:53.994 had managed to get all three on a sleep out. 0:03:53.994 --> 0:03:57.994 The eldest was fifteen. I had wanted this first date 0:03:58.114 --> 0:04:00.874 for so long, and he was so rude. He rang 0:04:00.954 --> 0:04:02.674 me on a Thursday and said, are you busy on 0:04:02.674 --> 0:04:05.714 Saturday night? And I went, oh, no, rang the other 0:04:05.714 --> 0:04:10.834 blow canceled that date, spent the entire day getting ready. 0:04:11.314 --> 0:04:12.394 We went out to a restaurant. 0:04:12.474 --> 0:04:15.394 It was just going so well for about the first 0:04:15.434 --> 0:04:16.074 half hour. 0:04:16.194 --> 0:04:17.354 And known each other for a while. 0:04:17.474 --> 0:04:19.234 Oh yeah, we known each other for ages, but he 0:04:19.354 --> 0:04:22.594 just had never asked amount of day whatever anyway, So 0:04:23.193 --> 0:04:26.834 I basically the meals got put in front of us, 0:04:27.034 --> 0:04:30.514 and I got a phone call from my eldest son's friend, 0:04:30.873 --> 0:04:32.714 the other fifteen year old, to say, can you come 0:04:32.714 --> 0:04:33.514 and pick up Sam. 0:04:33.794 --> 0:04:36.873 He's not feeling very well Saturday night. 0:04:37.113 --> 0:04:41.313 Saturday night, it was his first experience of the Schmirnoff virus, 0:04:42.753 --> 0:04:46.473 which is basically he was legless, he couldn't talk. He 0:04:46.553 --> 0:04:50.674 was standing there sitting lying down in the guy's driveway 0:04:50.953 --> 0:04:55.833 in his jeans, covered him vomit. I said to Daniel listen, 0:04:56.073 --> 0:04:58.113 you don't need to come, just you know, drop me 0:04:58.154 --> 0:04:58.633 off at home. 0:04:58.714 --> 0:05:00.914 I'll do this. He's like, no, no, no, I'll come, 0:05:01.034 --> 0:05:01.634 I'll do this. 0:05:02.234 --> 0:05:06.073 So he arrives in his amazingly gorgeous car, not like my, 0:05:06.274 --> 0:05:09.753 you know, rubbish. So we're in his car. He picks 0:05:09.834 --> 0:05:12.354 up Sam. Now Daniel's now covered in vomit. He puts 0:05:12.354 --> 0:05:14.713 Sam on his back in his back seat, so Sam's 0:05:14.753 --> 0:05:17.033 head is on the baby seat and Sam. 0:05:17.034 --> 0:05:19.274 La, la la, and his vomit. 0:05:19.433 --> 0:05:22.594 Yeah, of course, I think he's spewed about four times 0:05:22.674 --> 0:05:26.833 on the way home. We get we get home, Daniel 0:05:26.834 --> 0:05:30.034 picks him up, carries him into the shower. Sam still 0:05:30.034 --> 0:05:32.273 hasn't opened his eyes at this point, and we put 0:05:32.313 --> 0:05:35.833 him in the fetal position, the left lateral position, you know, 0:05:35.873 --> 0:05:38.313 which is appropriate for vomiting, because he's continuing to vomit 0:05:38.354 --> 0:05:41.234 in the shower. And Daniel turns on the warm water, 0:05:41.313 --> 0:05:44.794 but it comes out cold, and Sam basically sat up, 0:05:44.834 --> 0:05:47.354 looked at him. First time he was conscious and yelled 0:05:47.354 --> 0:05:50.993 out a lot of expletives that I won't repeat here, 0:05:51.873 --> 0:05:55.393 and then passed out again. And I just said, Daniel, 0:05:55.474 --> 0:05:57.113 this is my son, Sam, who's a really. 0:05:56.993 --> 0:05:59.713 Nice kid, and he really is a lovely kid. 0:06:00.753 --> 0:06:03.113 And Daniel said, well, I think I'll go now, because 0:06:03.154 --> 0:06:06.154 he was now literally swimming and vomit. His car was 0:06:06.354 --> 0:06:08.794 covered in vomit, his baby seat, his baby seat was 0:06:08.834 --> 0:06:11.513 covered in vomit. And he said, I'll come back to 0:06:11.633 --> 0:06:13.393 help you get him into bed, because he was a 0:06:13.393 --> 0:06:16.633 big boy and I'm a small girl. And I was like, 0:06:17.393 --> 0:06:20.273 he's not coming back. You just ruined my first date. 0:06:20.873 --> 0:06:24.313 I'm going to kill you, kid. Anyway, I basically managed 0:06:24.354 --> 0:06:27.474 to drag Sam into his bed. I put it back 0:06:27.674 --> 0:06:29.234 next to his bed, and I said, if if you 0:06:29.234 --> 0:06:31.394 want to vomit, vomit in the bucket. I went and 0:06:31.433 --> 0:06:33.274 had a shower, took all my makeup off, I now 0:06:33.313 --> 0:06:35.674 had wet hair. I was in a tracksuit. And Daniel 0:06:35.714 --> 0:06:38.514 came back. What a man, What a man? 0:06:38.553 --> 0:06:42.153 And he hasn't left blended families? Is it like the 0:06:42.154 --> 0:06:44.794 Brady bunch? He had three? You had three? 0:06:45.113 --> 0:06:47.993 No alice. I'd like an alice. We all would like 0:06:48.034 --> 0:06:48.474 an alice. 0:06:48.553 --> 0:06:50.593 Yeah, if you'll find one lying around, give him my number. 0:06:51.234 --> 0:06:52.754 My husband would say, no Den. 0:06:53.714 --> 0:06:56.313 Oh yeah, the Den. And also Carol didn't have a 0:06:56.313 --> 0:07:00.274 lot to do. No Carol Carol quite leisurely. 0:07:00.073 --> 0:07:04.553 Work outside the home, and yet you did so when 0:07:04.594 --> 0:07:06.993 you guys got together, how do you blend a family? 0:07:07.993 --> 0:07:10.434 Well, we had all these crazy fantasies about how it 0:07:10.474 --> 0:07:11.114 was all going to work. 0:07:11.154 --> 0:07:12.634 And I remember the first time we got all the 0:07:12.714 --> 0:07:13.634 kids together. 0:07:13.474 --> 0:07:16.994 And we put on some Sunday night movie and I 0:07:17.034 --> 0:07:21.593 remember Tara, Daniel's littleis sat on David, my second eldest lap, 0:07:21.874 --> 0:07:24.074 and they're all watching together, and we just stood there 0:07:24.074 --> 0:07:26.593 looking at them, going, this is the way it's always 0:07:26.714 --> 0:07:29.114 going to be? Isn't it beautiful? Didn't we make a 0:07:29.354 --> 0:07:34.314 fabulous decision here? There's been a lot of ups and downs, 0:07:34.754 --> 0:07:37.114 a lot of kinks in the road. I think you 0:07:37.234 --> 0:07:40.114 just need to lean into it and just go with 0:07:40.194 --> 0:07:44.754 it and don't have too many preconceived ideas about how 0:07:44.794 --> 0:07:47.634 good it's going to be. You had two sets of 0:07:47.714 --> 0:07:49.994 kids at different life stages, didn't you. So Yours were 0:07:50.074 --> 0:07:54.194 kind of teens at the time and his were twains 0:07:54.554 --> 0:07:55.474 and even littler. 0:07:55.594 --> 0:07:57.034 How old were his when you got together? 0:07:58.314 --> 0:08:02.154 So I think they were like ten, eight and five 0:08:02.314 --> 0:08:02.994 something like that. 0:08:03.114 --> 0:08:05.354 Yeah, So how do you like? 0:08:05.434 --> 0:08:09.593 They're two very different worlds that you're in. How do 0:08:09.674 --> 0:08:13.953 you kind of blend those two different life stages. 0:08:14.514 --> 0:08:15.074 Well, it's just. 0:08:15.074 --> 0:08:17.794 Busy because you've got to be running to so many 0:08:17.834 --> 0:08:20.114 different sports on a weekend, there are six sets of 0:08:20.154 --> 0:08:22.794 sports to be running to. Someone's got to get dragged along. 0:08:22.874 --> 0:08:26.554 You can't really do that together anyway. If there's I mean, 0:08:26.554 --> 0:08:29.234 they's just that he has such gorgeous girls. I'm just 0:08:29.434 --> 0:08:33.234 very lucky that, you know, none of them were terrible, dreadful, 0:08:33.554 --> 0:08:33.833 you know. 0:08:33.953 --> 0:08:37.314 Kids, so they were very easy to let, didn't hate you, no. 0:08:37.434 --> 0:08:40.114 And what we're really lucky is that they've got a mom, 0:08:40.474 --> 0:08:45.274 and so I was able to be that benevolent auntie. 0:08:45.434 --> 0:08:47.874 And I really love his daughters the way I love 0:08:47.994 --> 0:08:52.074 my nieces and nephews, because you know, I adore them. 0:08:52.074 --> 0:08:54.554 But somebody else has got all the responsibility. That's a 0:08:54.594 --> 0:08:56.994 lovely position to be in, and I'm very grateful for that. 0:08:57.634 --> 0:09:00.354 I grew up in a blended family too. My brother 0:09:01.394 --> 0:09:06.514 had a different father, so how One of the things 0:09:06.554 --> 0:09:08.794 that can be hard to manage is, as you say, 0:09:09.114 --> 0:09:12.754 you know, your first husband was in your kid's life, 0:09:12.794 --> 0:09:17.474 and Daniel's first partner was in his kid's life. So 0:09:17.554 --> 0:09:23.154 that's one to three different households that you've got people 0:09:23.154 --> 0:09:25.914 coming and going from, well, I did manage that. 0:09:26.074 --> 0:09:29.514 So my kids did not have a lot of contact 0:09:29.674 --> 0:09:33.074 with their dad, so they've never slept over at his place. Interestingly, 0:09:33.114 --> 0:09:35.314 now as they're all adults, they're all really close. It's 0:09:35.434 --> 0:09:39.554 an amazingly close relationship, and the fact that he was 0:09:39.634 --> 0:09:42.514 unable to sort of be there in their childhood has 0:09:42.554 --> 0:09:45.473 not really made any difference to the way their relationship 0:09:45.514 --> 0:09:47.634 is now, which I think is amazing and very good 0:09:47.674 --> 0:09:50.274 news for any dat out there who's really worried about 0:09:50.314 --> 0:09:51.954 not getting enough access to his children. 0:09:52.154 --> 0:09:54.754 It doesn't matter. It can all work out really really well. 0:09:55.154 --> 0:09:57.834 But at the time, there were only there was only 0:09:57.874 --> 0:10:01.674 one household for my children, and that was so easy. 0:10:01.754 --> 0:10:04.314 And I could watch what was happening to my stepdaughters 0:10:04.354 --> 0:10:08.674 having to negotiate two sets of rules to households, two 0:10:08.674 --> 0:10:11.394 sets of toothbrushes, two sets of school uniforms. That was 0:10:11.434 --> 0:10:14.594 really tough compared to my kids, who just had a 0:10:14.634 --> 0:10:18.034 bedroom in a place that they did homework. That was 0:10:18.114 --> 0:10:21.034 much easier for them, I have to say. And in 0:10:21.074 --> 0:10:23.514 a way, we've ended up in this really good space 0:10:23.554 --> 0:10:26.514 where the kids absolutely are very close to their stepdad 0:10:26.954 --> 0:10:29.794 very close to their dad, and I never had to 0:10:29.834 --> 0:10:32.154 negotiate one set of rules, so that was really easy. 0:10:32.674 --> 0:10:35.434 On the other hand, I think my stepdaughter's benefited from 0:10:35.594 --> 0:10:39.674 two homes and four effective parents, which is really, I 0:10:39.714 --> 0:10:40.834 guess a good thing too. 0:10:42.394 --> 0:10:45.474 When your first marriage broke down, your three kids were 0:10:45.514 --> 0:10:49.994 pretty young, and you weren't working full time at that time, 0:10:50.034 --> 0:10:52.714 and you weren't particularly financially independent, were you. 0:10:53.154 --> 0:10:55.674 I was clueless. There's just no other word for it. 0:10:55.714 --> 0:10:57.874 I mean, I spent money and I didn't even think 0:10:57.874 --> 0:10:59.714 about how the credit cards got paid. At the end 0:10:59.754 --> 0:11:04.274 of the month I worked. My husband said, work. If 0:11:04.314 --> 0:11:05.874 you want to work, don't work. If you don't want 0:11:05.914 --> 0:11:09.674 to work, it's completely up to you. So it was wonderful. 0:11:09.794 --> 0:11:11.674 You're a doctor, you're working as a GP. 0:11:11.794 --> 0:11:13.994 But like two mornings away, let's be honest, that's not 0:11:14.074 --> 0:11:16.234 really going to cut it for most women. 0:11:16.514 --> 0:11:18.194 Know, more like a hobby. Yeah, it was a hobby. 0:11:18.234 --> 0:11:19.474 It was lovely. I enjoyed it. 0:11:19.794 --> 0:11:22.314 And if I couldn't go to work because I had 0:11:22.474 --> 0:11:24.394 a friend's lunch on, I'd just bring my boss and 0:11:24.394 --> 0:11:25.674 say I can't do that day. 0:11:26.114 --> 0:11:26.714 It was fine. 0:11:27.194 --> 0:11:29.874 Wow, did that all change? And it was literally overnight. 0:11:30.594 --> 0:11:35.594 I had the full carriage of the finances for myself 0:11:35.634 --> 0:11:39.274 and my three children on my own, and so I 0:11:39.314 --> 0:11:41.833 had to learn pretty quickly, and I had to work 0:11:41.874 --> 0:11:44.274 out how to use Excel and a spreadsheet. So my 0:11:44.634 --> 0:11:47.994 best girlfriend, who's really really financially savvy and works in 0:11:47.994 --> 0:11:49.914 the finance industry, was like, so, what do you need 0:11:49.954 --> 0:11:52.354 to live? And I was like, I have no idea. 0:11:52.554 --> 0:11:54.514 So she was sitting there with me, going, well, how 0:11:54.594 --> 0:11:57.074 much does insurance cost? Do they need braces? You know, yes, 0:11:57.114 --> 0:12:00.434 that all three needed braces at the same time. Yeah, 0:12:00.434 --> 0:12:03.394 that's fine. So you just need to work out what 0:12:03.434 --> 0:12:06.114 it is that you need to live, what do you 0:12:06.154 --> 0:12:08.314 need to earn pre tag to be able to support that, 0:12:08.394 --> 0:12:11.353 And if you want to save for something like a holiday, 0:12:12.154 --> 0:12:14.274 how much more do you need to earn? And my 0:12:14.394 --> 0:12:18.874 first holiday was about five years after I got divorced, 0:12:18.914 --> 0:12:20.314 and I was so excited. 0:12:20.354 --> 0:12:23.114 I took all the kids to Bali. 0:12:22.834 --> 0:12:26.554 And it's still the most emotional holiday of my life 0:12:26.554 --> 0:12:27.794 because I did that for them. 0:12:29.034 --> 0:12:31.954 Often when it comes to this idea of women working 0:12:31.994 --> 0:12:36.794 after they've had kids, it boils down, or some people 0:12:36.794 --> 0:12:39.034 think it boils down to this issue of feminism, and 0:12:39.234 --> 0:12:41.114 you know you should try to get the corner office 0:12:41.114 --> 0:12:43.314 and you should brah rah rah, and I but it's 0:12:43.314 --> 0:12:43.794 my choice. 0:12:43.794 --> 0:12:44.634 I want to stay home. 0:12:44.914 --> 0:12:48.394 And I'm always like, it's not about It's about being 0:12:48.394 --> 0:12:50.314 able to look after yourself if something happens, if your 0:12:50.354 --> 0:12:52.994 partner leaves, if your marriage breaks down, if your partner dies, 0:12:53.074 --> 0:12:55.074 like you just don't know what's going to happen. 0:12:55.594 --> 0:12:56.634 And if you don't have. 0:12:56.554 --> 0:13:01.794 Any ability, any skills, any job history to fall back on, 0:13:02.674 --> 0:13:03.914 you are very vulnerable. 0:13:04.474 --> 0:13:07.714 And it's interesting because it has that experiences of having 0:13:07.754 --> 0:13:10.954 to pick up full time work, be financially savvy, balance 0:13:11.034 --> 0:13:15.434 the books at home from zero has really impacted on 0:13:15.434 --> 0:13:17.554 the way I relate to my daughter and to my 0:13:17.634 --> 0:13:20.954 three step daughters, and in the way they approach school 0:13:21.194 --> 0:13:25.874 and university. So just I'm so desperate for them to 0:13:25.914 --> 0:13:30.594 be financially have the wherewithal to be financially independent, and 0:13:30.634 --> 0:13:33.674 not to assume that their ticket to success and happiness 0:13:34.114 --> 0:13:35.234 is through a man. 0:13:35.394 --> 0:13:38.754 Is not a financial plan. God, that's great. Love that. 0:13:40.034 --> 0:13:44.074 So, skipping forward, I want to ask about your experience 0:13:44.114 --> 0:13:48.434 with perimenopause and then menopause. How did you know you 0:13:48.514 --> 0:13:51.034 were something was up. I mean, you're a doctor, so 0:13:51.154 --> 0:13:54.074 presumably you're fairly alert to changes in your own body. 0:13:54.514 --> 0:13:55.714 Yeah, so I guess. 0:13:55.994 --> 0:13:59.474 So I'm now fifty one, which is plum menopause age. 0:13:59.874 --> 0:14:03.434 And I don't think home anywhere close to menopause yet 0:14:04.354 --> 0:14:09.074 it doesn't look like I'm at this late stage of perimenopause. 0:14:09.514 --> 0:14:11.514 But the first thing was just not being able to sleep. 0:14:12.474 --> 0:14:14.354 And I guess you know, I just went, well, you know, 0:14:14.514 --> 0:14:19.874 I'm forty six. I guess you know I'm plum perimenopause age. 0:14:20.234 --> 0:14:23.074 I've always been an Olympic level sleeper. I can yeah, 0:14:23.114 --> 0:14:26.354 we say, yeah, like eight hours on a plane, no drama. 0:14:26.354 --> 0:14:28.834 I don't need to sleeping pill. I can sleep sitting up, 0:14:29.114 --> 0:14:31.954 standing up. Probably that has never been an issue. And 0:14:31.954 --> 0:14:34.554 all of a sudden, I'm not great at that whole 0:14:34.594 --> 0:14:37.874 sleeping thing anymore. And I remember my parents complaining about sleeping, 0:14:37.914 --> 0:14:40.074 and I'd been like, oh, come on, guys, you know 0:14:40.554 --> 0:14:41.394 how hard can it be? 0:14:41.554 --> 0:14:43.914 Just shut your eyes, go to bed so you can't 0:14:43.954 --> 0:14:45.634 get to sleep, or you wake up through the night. 0:14:45.834 --> 0:14:48.354 Both get back more than waking up. I mean you're 0:14:48.394 --> 0:14:51.754 often so exhausted, often by you know, eight o'clock when 0:14:51.794 --> 0:14:54.074 you want some scintillating conversation with your partner and all 0:14:54.114 --> 0:14:57.834 you can do is just one word, monosyllable come out that. 0:14:57.914 --> 0:14:59.554 Yeah, that word is Netflix. 0:15:00.434 --> 0:15:03.034 Netflix is like, that's all I want to do right now. 0:15:03.314 --> 0:15:05.314 We swore, we swore we would never have a TV 0:15:05.354 --> 0:15:07.554 in the bedroom. We just didn't want that sleep. 0:15:07.594 --> 0:15:10.874 Howd that go for you? It's so there now. 0:15:11.034 --> 0:15:13.874 Because I can't dog and you know, and I'm falling asleep, 0:15:13.994 --> 0:15:18.154 like literally three minutes into whatever's on. But you know, 0:15:18.274 --> 0:15:21.714 come eleven o'clock, I'm up, and that has I have 0:15:21.874 --> 0:15:24.914 not been a good sleeper now for five years. 0:15:26.074 --> 0:15:28.794 So I'm going to try to not treat this as 0:15:28.914 --> 0:15:33.594 a consultation with you as my doctor, but possibly I 0:15:33.634 --> 0:15:36.834 will because I am going to describe some of my 0:15:36.914 --> 0:15:40.074 symptoms to you, and you tell me if they seem perimenopausal. 0:15:40.874 --> 0:15:44.354 I'm angry a lot, yep, I'm weepy a lot, yep. 0:15:45.274 --> 0:15:49.714 My skin is itchy. Yes, I've got a marina and 0:15:49.914 --> 0:15:53.074 which I had to have because my periods suddenly became 0:15:53.154 --> 0:15:57.074 very heavy after never having heavy periods. But and that's 0:15:57.114 --> 0:15:58.554 been great for the last few years, and it was 0:15:58.554 --> 0:16:02.314 making me very iron efficient. But I'm now even getting 0:16:02.394 --> 0:16:04.314 breakthrough periods through my marina. 0:16:06.034 --> 0:16:06.594 What else. 0:16:07.434 --> 0:16:09.834 I've got a hair coming out of my chin off, 0:16:09.874 --> 0:16:12.354 only one in one, very persistent one. 0:16:12.394 --> 0:16:13.194 I call it Erica. 0:16:13.354 --> 0:16:15.594 And it just appears overnight and it's like the length 0:16:15.594 --> 0:16:18.154 of a dog lead, just overnight, and the night before 0:16:18.194 --> 0:16:18.714 it wasn't there. 0:16:18.914 --> 0:16:20.954 Is it gray yet? It's not gray? 0:16:21.074 --> 0:16:24.874 But yes, there's gray issues happening in all sorts of places, 0:16:25.994 --> 0:16:28.874 including even the odd gray eyebrow that was fun. 0:16:29.474 --> 0:16:30.594 I've got to pluck those out of it. 0:16:30.674 --> 0:16:33.194 I've got wind caused and pimples and I haven't had 0:16:33.234 --> 0:16:34.234 pimples for ages. 0:16:34.434 --> 0:16:35.634 Amazing speak to me. 0:16:36.554 --> 0:16:41.434 Okay, So menopause happens when your ovaries basically stop working 0:16:41.754 --> 0:16:45.674 all together. So that's you know, it's fairly obvious, and 0:16:45.714 --> 0:16:48.834 you stop having any periods whatsoever. But in the lead 0:16:48.954 --> 0:16:52.754 up to menopause, your ovaries don't do very well what 0:16:52.754 --> 0:16:55.194 they're designed to do, which is basically to produce egg 0:16:55.194 --> 0:16:57.114 of the months to go off and meet the sperm 0:16:57.154 --> 0:16:57.954 of its dreams. 0:16:58.594 --> 0:17:00.314 That bit doesn't work that well. 0:17:00.434 --> 0:17:03.674 So normally we don't even know why One egg gets 0:17:03.714 --> 0:17:06.474 selected and it basically goes off, it grows in a 0:17:06.513 --> 0:17:09.474 little bubble, and then when that bubble gets big enough 0:17:09.474 --> 0:17:11.593 it bursts. It goes into the fallopian tube to do 0:17:11.634 --> 0:17:15.434 what it does, and that bubble then becomes a progesterone 0:17:15.474 --> 0:17:20.034 producing factory. It is maze balls. So basically the way 0:17:20.034 --> 0:17:22.314 it does it is it takes your male hormone, your 0:17:22.354 --> 0:17:26.313 androgens and spits them out as progesterone. Now, progesterone is 0:17:26.474 --> 0:17:29.914 awesome because it calms you down, it's sort of quite relaxing, 0:17:29.954 --> 0:17:32.634 it helps you sleep, and it's also good because it 0:17:32.634 --> 0:17:36.074 gets rid of your male hormone. If that system is 0:17:36.114 --> 0:17:38.154 not very efficient, which it really isn't for quite a 0:17:38.194 --> 0:17:40.954 few years, you get a couple of things happening. Number one, 0:17:41.154 --> 0:17:43.994 not enough progesterone, so you're not a good sleeper anymore, 0:17:44.154 --> 0:17:46.034 and you can get really angry, and you can get 0:17:46.034 --> 0:17:49.034 really weepy and teary because you don't have any calming 0:17:49.074 --> 0:17:51.554 hormones in your body. And on top of that, you're 0:17:51.594 --> 0:17:57.514 getting a build up of androgens male hormones, so chin hairs, pimples, 0:17:57.514 --> 0:18:01.033 fantastic oily skin, but also you've got really dry and 0:18:01.114 --> 0:18:03.154 itches thin. At the same time, it's all happening on 0:18:03.154 --> 0:18:03.634 the one. 0:18:03.474 --> 0:18:07.674 Face itching myself now a happy days. Yes, I call 0:18:07.674 --> 0:18:09.594 it hormone hell. It's just the absolute worst. 0:18:10.434 --> 0:18:13.714 And you talk in the book about how it's kind 0:18:13.754 --> 0:18:15.354 of there's not much points. I keept saying I'm going 0:18:15.394 --> 0:18:17.074 to go to my GP and get my blood my 0:18:17.114 --> 0:18:19.634 hormones tested, but you kind of say that there's no 0:18:19.834 --> 0:18:20.634 point in doing that. 0:18:20.714 --> 0:18:21.554 And why is that? 0:18:22.074 --> 0:18:24.714 Because hour to hour they're different, minute to minute, they're 0:18:24.714 --> 0:18:25.313 different day to. 0:18:25.354 --> 0:18:27.954 Day they're doing That's how it feels inside. You can 0:18:27.994 --> 0:18:28.554 almost tell. 0:18:28.674 --> 0:18:30.874 You can almost tell when your estrogen is surging, and 0:18:30.874 --> 0:18:33.874 there's no balancing progesterone. You can tell when that's happening. 0:18:34.034 --> 0:18:36.394 And so there's no point in getting a blood test 0:18:36.434 --> 0:18:39.594 because it might be different in three hours time, So 0:18:40.314 --> 0:18:43.354 there's no I often get asked for hormone tests, which 0:18:43.434 --> 0:18:45.634 I think a code for I'm really weepy and really 0:18:45.674 --> 0:18:48.314 teary and I'm just yelling at the kids and I'm 0:18:48.394 --> 0:18:52.674 yelling at my husband, and help me, I listen to 0:18:52.714 --> 0:18:55.513 the help me cry in that rather than sort of 0:18:55.514 --> 0:18:58.674 going down the blood test route, which is often unhelpful. 0:18:58.674 --> 0:18:59.874 I mean, we do need to look at. 0:18:59.754 --> 0:19:02.634 Your thyroid and your land, particularly if we're going through 0:19:02.674 --> 0:19:04.874 what you and I. I've also got the marina in 0:19:04.994 --> 0:19:06.594 at the moment, I'm getting a new one, I think 0:19:06.634 --> 0:19:10.594 next week, but it's you know, I'm also getting periods 0:19:10.714 --> 0:19:11.634 despite the marina. 0:19:11.714 --> 0:19:13.834 I went to my gynecologist and my. 0:19:13.834 --> 0:19:15.954 Six week check up after my daughter twenty three years 0:19:15.954 --> 0:19:17.354 ago and said, can you put this in? I never 0:19:17.354 --> 0:19:19.994 ever want to have a period again, And I didn't 0:19:20.514 --> 0:19:22.674 until I turned forty six. And now I've got periods. 0:19:22.674 --> 0:19:24.273 And now I'm fifty one, and I'm going to need 0:19:24.314 --> 0:19:29.154 to get another one because we're still fertile despite all 0:19:29.194 --> 0:19:33.114 of this. If we actually are ovulating, and it is 0:19:33.154 --> 0:19:36.994 a bit sporadic, you can ovulate twice during perimenopause, so 0:19:37.034 --> 0:19:40.114 you can get twins. Yeah, and if you do go 0:19:40.194 --> 0:19:43.513 on hormone therapy, it's not enough to stop that. It 0:19:43.594 --> 0:19:45.833 won't be a good contraception. 0:19:46.514 --> 0:19:48.434 How long does perimenopause last? 0:19:49.234 --> 0:19:50.794