1 00:00:10,085 --> 00:00:10,365 Speaker 1: So much. 2 00:00:10,405 --> 00:00:14,965 Speaker 2: You're listening to a MoMA Maya podcast. Mamma Mayer acknowledges 3 00:00:15,045 --> 00:00:17,685 Speaker 2: the traditional owners of land and waters that this podcast 4 00:00:17,765 --> 00:00:18,845 Speaker 2: is recorded. 5 00:00:18,365 --> 00:00:21,725 Speaker 3: On Hello, no filter listeners. This is Naima Brown, the 6 00:00:21,765 --> 00:00:24,725 Speaker 3: executive producer of this show and also of But Are 7 00:00:24,725 --> 00:00:27,125 Speaker 3: You Happy? And I am very excited to bring you 8 00:00:27,165 --> 00:00:30,045 Speaker 3: the first episode of the new season of But Are 9 00:00:30,085 --> 00:00:34,485 Speaker 3: You Happy? Hosted by a Shawne Dante and doctor Anastasia Heronus. 10 00:00:34,685 --> 00:00:37,845 Speaker 3: Ashawnee and Anastasia will be bringing you the self development 11 00:00:38,005 --> 00:00:41,005 Speaker 3: and mental health conversations that we know you want that 12 00:00:41,045 --> 00:00:45,765 Speaker 3: you've asked us for about everything from worry spirals anxiety, 13 00:00:46,325 --> 00:00:49,645 Speaker 3: to why you keep dating the wrong person, to how 14 00:00:49,685 --> 00:00:53,245 Speaker 3: to spot the narcissist in your life so many more topics. 15 00:00:53,285 --> 00:00:55,845 Speaker 3: We know you're gonna like it. Enjoy this first episode 16 00:00:56,005 --> 00:00:58,445 Speaker 3: and please like and follow But Are You Happy wherever 17 00:00:58,485 --> 00:00:59,645 Speaker 3: you listen to podcasts. 18 00:01:00,445 --> 00:01:03,325 Speaker 4: Due to circumstances that were completely in my control and 19 00:01:03,365 --> 00:01:06,685 Speaker 4: actually pretty predictable based on my past behavior, I will 20 00:01:06,685 --> 00:01:09,045 Speaker 4: be spiraling for the next week or so. 21 00:01:09,325 --> 00:01:14,525 Speaker 2: Anyone needs anything, I'm God, poor mother Mia. 22 00:01:14,565 --> 00:01:17,565 Speaker 1: I'm your host, as Shani Dante. Welcome to But Are 23 00:01:17,605 --> 00:01:21,525 Speaker 1: You happy because no another personality quiz won't fix you. 24 00:01:21,765 --> 00:01:26,085 Speaker 5: And I'm doctor Anastagia Hernis a clinical psychologist passionate about 25 00:01:26,165 --> 00:01:30,885 Speaker 5: happiness and mental health. Now, do you ever get stuck 26 00:01:31,125 --> 00:01:35,605 Speaker 5: thinking about a hypothetical situation that isn't really happening and 27 00:01:35,725 --> 00:01:38,525 Speaker 5: asking yourself a bunch of questions that make you more 28 00:01:38,565 --> 00:01:42,685 Speaker 5: and more stressed. You've probably found yourself in a stress spiral. 29 00:01:43,205 --> 00:01:45,845 Speaker 1: If you've listened to this show before, my voice may 30 00:01:45,885 --> 00:01:49,445 Speaker 1: not be familiar. I'm a mental wellbeing and self development leader. 31 00:01:50,325 --> 00:01:53,245 Speaker 1: I'm Australian fore Lunkan, and I'm constantly on a journey 32 00:01:53,285 --> 00:01:54,365 Speaker 1: of learning more about my. 33 00:01:54,365 --> 00:01:56,125 Speaker 2: Culture and my passion. 34 00:01:56,245 --> 00:01:58,245 Speaker 1: And you could say purpose in life right now is 35 00:01:58,285 --> 00:02:00,965 Speaker 1: all around empowering teenage girls and young women. 36 00:02:01,085 --> 00:02:04,725 Speaker 5: And I'm an academic and author. Most recently i published 37 00:02:04,725 --> 00:02:07,565 Speaker 5: a book called The Dopamine Brain. So my whole career 38 00:02:07,605 --> 00:02:10,445 Speaker 5: focus really is about how to help people develop new 39 00:02:10,485 --> 00:02:12,285 Speaker 5: habits to optimize their mental health. 40 00:02:12,325 --> 00:02:14,565 Speaker 1: We're going to be shifting gears to bring you what 41 00:02:14,645 --> 00:02:18,685 Speaker 1: you told us you wanted conversations with an expert about 42 00:02:18,685 --> 00:02:23,125 Speaker 1: the things that you are thinking about, working on, struggling through, 43 00:02:23,645 --> 00:02:26,565 Speaker 1: or really just curious about and that's where you Doctor 44 00:02:26,605 --> 00:02:29,085 Speaker 1: Anastasia heronus, you come into the equation. 45 00:02:29,525 --> 00:02:33,045 Speaker 5: We're going to be covering so many relevant topics like 46 00:02:33,605 --> 00:02:36,405 Speaker 5: how to stop dating the wrong person, how to say 47 00:02:36,445 --> 00:02:40,405 Speaker 5: no to the people we love, and how to actually 48 00:02:40,525 --> 00:02:43,485 Speaker 5: quieten down that voice in our head when it's being 49 00:02:43,525 --> 00:02:44,405 Speaker 5: really mean to us. 50 00:02:44,565 --> 00:02:47,645 Speaker 1: In each episode, you'll be getting all of Doctor Anastasia's 51 00:02:47,645 --> 00:02:52,565 Speaker 1: wisdom and knowledge, along with her clear takeaways specific guidance 52 00:02:52,605 --> 00:02:55,685 Speaker 1: for how you can apply this information to your lives. 53 00:02:56,005 --> 00:02:58,005 Speaker 2: Right now, as you may. 54 00:02:57,885 --> 00:03:00,365 Speaker 1: Have guessed, we're kicking this season off with the topic 55 00:03:00,445 --> 00:03:03,365 Speaker 1: that we know so many of us can struggle with, 56 00:03:03,765 --> 00:03:08,725 Speaker 1: including myself, anxiety, worry and getting called in those stress spirals. 57 00:03:09,365 --> 00:03:11,405 Speaker 5: Now, this is something so many of my clients have 58 00:03:11,445 --> 00:03:13,845 Speaker 5: been dealing with lately, and you might be. 59 00:03:13,805 --> 00:03:23,925 Speaker 1: Two, All right, let's jump in, okay, on the staga, 60 00:03:24,045 --> 00:03:26,845 Speaker 1: How do we actually know if we're anxious? 61 00:03:27,245 --> 00:03:28,245 Speaker 2: How does it show up? 62 00:03:28,485 --> 00:03:31,565 Speaker 5: Anxiety is a massive topic. There's so much for us 63 00:03:31,605 --> 00:03:34,285 Speaker 5: to talk about here, and it really does exist on 64 00:03:34,365 --> 00:03:37,885 Speaker 5: a spectrum of experiences. It's one of the most common 65 00:03:37,885 --> 00:03:39,885 Speaker 5: things actually that a lot of my clients are facing 66 00:03:39,885 --> 00:03:42,085 Speaker 5: at the moment. And if we put this kind of 67 00:03:42,325 --> 00:03:46,085 Speaker 5: in the context of Aussies around the country. About three 68 00:03:46,165 --> 00:03:49,405 Speaker 5: million Australians actually live with anxiety. It's about one in 69 00:03:49,445 --> 00:03:52,365 Speaker 5: four of us will experience problematic anxiety at some point 70 00:03:52,365 --> 00:03:52,925 Speaker 5: in our lives. 71 00:03:53,005 --> 00:03:55,685 Speaker 1: That's a wild stat and just goes to show how 72 00:03:55,685 --> 00:03:58,645 Speaker 1: common it is. And we'd love to kind of unpack 73 00:03:58,685 --> 00:04:01,365 Speaker 1: anxiety because I feel like it does get. 74 00:04:01,285 --> 00:04:03,885 Speaker 2: A really bad rap. Yeah, it's so common. 75 00:04:04,405 --> 00:04:07,525 Speaker 5: Yes, anxiety gets a bad rap. It doesn't feel good, right, 76 00:04:07,565 --> 00:04:10,565 Speaker 5: And none of us like to feel anxious, and so 77 00:04:10,685 --> 00:04:14,605 Speaker 5: it's sort of classified broadly as one of these bad emotions, 78 00:04:14,605 --> 00:04:16,245 Speaker 5: an emotion that we want to get rid of. We 79 00:04:16,285 --> 00:04:17,925 Speaker 5: don't want to feel anxious, so how do we get 80 00:04:18,005 --> 00:04:23,005 Speaker 5: rid of it? But actually, anxiety, along with every other emotion, 81 00:04:23,725 --> 00:04:28,325 Speaker 5: serves a really important function all emotions. It's important for 82 00:04:28,405 --> 00:04:31,965 Speaker 5: us to think about them as sources of information. They're 83 00:04:32,005 --> 00:04:36,765 Speaker 5: like data points. They give us information about ourselves, about 84 00:04:36,805 --> 00:04:41,765 Speaker 5: the world, about the environment around us. So I think 85 00:04:41,845 --> 00:04:45,365 Speaker 5: it's crucial for us to be able to lean into 86 00:04:45,605 --> 00:04:48,885 Speaker 5: the information that an emotion actually gives us. Now, if 87 00:04:48,925 --> 00:04:53,805 Speaker 5: we circle back to anxiety specifically, the function of anxiety 88 00:04:54,045 --> 00:04:59,125 Speaker 5: is to essentially be the body's smoke detector and smoke alarm, right, 89 00:04:59,245 --> 00:05:03,605 Speaker 5: So anxiety is giving us the message that there might 90 00:05:03,645 --> 00:05:06,845 Speaker 5: be some sort of danger or threat in the environment 91 00:05:07,125 --> 00:05:09,285 Speaker 5: that we need to be aware of and perhaps then 92 00:05:09,485 --> 00:05:11,485 Speaker 5: do something to protect ourselves. 93 00:05:11,725 --> 00:05:15,245 Speaker 1: It's really great that you're unpacking this because I feel 94 00:05:15,245 --> 00:05:18,485 Speaker 1: like what I'm hearing is anxiety can actually be helpful 95 00:05:18,725 --> 00:05:21,965 Speaker 1: as well at times, which is very different to I 96 00:05:22,005 --> 00:05:25,565 Speaker 1: would say what we naturally have our definition of anxiety. 97 00:05:25,605 --> 00:05:27,245 Speaker 2: We want to shame it. 98 00:05:27,285 --> 00:05:29,445 Speaker 1: There's a stigma around it, we don't want to talk 99 00:05:29,485 --> 00:05:31,325 Speaker 1: about it, we want to push it away. Yet what 100 00:05:31,365 --> 00:05:34,405 Speaker 1: I'm hearing is it is actually giving us more information about, 101 00:05:35,085 --> 00:05:37,685 Speaker 1: you know, the context of the situation that might be playing out. 102 00:05:37,845 --> 00:05:41,325 Speaker 1: So in saying that, like, how do you differentiate between 103 00:05:41,405 --> 00:05:43,765 Speaker 1: when anxiety is helpful and unhelpful? 104 00:05:44,205 --> 00:05:47,885 Speaker 5: Anxiety will always show up in all of us throughout 105 00:05:47,885 --> 00:05:49,765 Speaker 5: our life, so we can't get rid of it completely. 106 00:05:49,845 --> 00:05:53,165 Speaker 5: So I think this question about helpful versus unhelpful anxiety 107 00:05:53,245 --> 00:06:01,245 Speaker 5: is really important. Unhelpful anxiety is when we experience anxiety 108 00:06:01,725 --> 00:06:04,805 Speaker 5: that's out of context. So let me explain what I 109 00:06:04,845 --> 00:06:08,525 Speaker 5: mean by that. If we experience anxiety in a situation 110 00:06:08,645 --> 00:06:12,165 Speaker 5: that doesn't warrant us to be anxious. That's going to 111 00:06:12,165 --> 00:06:15,325 Speaker 5: be unhelpful for us. So if we're sitting in the 112 00:06:15,365 --> 00:06:18,205 Speaker 5: podcast studio right now talking and all of a sudden, 113 00:06:18,365 --> 00:06:20,405 Speaker 5: a big grizzly bear runs through the studio, we're going 114 00:06:20,445 --> 00:06:23,125 Speaker 5: to feel anxious, Right, normal natural emotion. We want to 115 00:06:23,165 --> 00:06:26,085 Speaker 5: feel anxious in that situation because anxiety is going to 116 00:06:26,085 --> 00:06:28,405 Speaker 5: prompt us to get up and run out of this place. Right. 117 00:06:28,685 --> 00:06:34,645 Speaker 5: Helpful anxiety so unhelpful. Anxiety sends us a message which 118 00:06:34,765 --> 00:06:39,085 Speaker 5: makes us overestimate the likelihood things are going to go wrong. 119 00:06:39,125 --> 00:06:40,685 Speaker 5: So I think this is a great episode for us 120 00:06:40,685 --> 00:06:43,645 Speaker 5: to be starting with and talking about. But to answer 121 00:06:43,685 --> 00:06:46,565 Speaker 5: your question, how does anxiety show up? I'm actually going 122 00:06:46,645 --> 00:06:49,925 Speaker 5: to use a client of mine. We're going to call 123 00:06:49,965 --> 00:06:53,045 Speaker 5: her Catherine for not actually her name, but to be anonymous, 124 00:06:53,085 --> 00:06:55,685 Speaker 5: we'll call her Catherine. She had to do a lot 125 00:06:55,725 --> 00:06:58,445 Speaker 5: of public speaking for her work and in her role, 126 00:06:58,885 --> 00:07:02,725 Speaker 5: but would get this crippling, overwhelming fear of getting on 127 00:07:02,805 --> 00:07:05,405 Speaker 5: stage and making a full of herself and saying the 128 00:07:05,405 --> 00:07:08,405 Speaker 5: wrong thing. Now, there was no history of her ever 129 00:07:08,445 --> 00:07:11,125 Speaker 5: really doing that. She was generally pretty fine with her 130 00:07:11,125 --> 00:07:14,045 Speaker 5: public speaking, and even if she did kind of get 131 00:07:14,045 --> 00:07:16,445 Speaker 5: on stage and say something a little wrong. It wasn't 132 00:07:16,485 --> 00:07:19,285 Speaker 5: kind of the end of the world. So anxiety makes 133 00:07:19,365 --> 00:07:22,125 Speaker 5: us overestimate that things will go wrong, But it does 134 00:07:22,125 --> 00:07:27,045 Speaker 5: another thing. It also makes us underestimate our ability to 135 00:07:27,205 --> 00:07:31,085 Speaker 5: cope if things do go wrong, because I don't have 136 00:07:31,165 --> 00:07:33,245 Speaker 5: a magic wand to say that Catherine will never get 137 00:07:33,285 --> 00:07:34,965 Speaker 5: on stage and never make a full of herself. Right, 138 00:07:34,965 --> 00:07:37,645 Speaker 5: there is a world in which that could happen. So 139 00:07:37,725 --> 00:07:39,805 Speaker 5: there is a chance. It's probably a small chance, but 140 00:07:39,845 --> 00:07:43,485 Speaker 5: there is a chance. But anxiety makes us underestimate our 141 00:07:43,525 --> 00:07:46,645 Speaker 5: ability to cope if that happens. So if Catherine got 142 00:07:46,645 --> 00:07:49,045 Speaker 5: on stage and completely forgot what she was meant to 143 00:07:49,045 --> 00:07:52,245 Speaker 5: be saying in her presentation, it would feel pretty crappy, 144 00:07:52,285 --> 00:07:54,365 Speaker 5: like it wouldn't be a nice experience for her. The 145 00:07:54,405 --> 00:07:56,805 Speaker 5: crowd would probably be like, oh, she's forgot what she's 146 00:07:56,805 --> 00:07:59,525 Speaker 5: meant to say. But in reality, it's a situation she 147 00:07:59,525 --> 00:08:01,765 Speaker 5: could cope with. She'd just walk off, take a breath, 148 00:08:01,805 --> 00:08:04,205 Speaker 5: grab her notes, come back on the stage, keep going. 149 00:08:04,365 --> 00:08:06,725 Speaker 5: Probably no one ever thinks about it again. So that's 150 00:08:06,765 --> 00:08:11,245 Speaker 5: an example of where anxiety can be unhelpful for us, 151 00:08:11,285 --> 00:08:14,605 Speaker 5: because all it was doing was making Catherine feel completely 152 00:08:14,685 --> 00:08:17,205 Speaker 5: overwhelmed and stressed when she didn't really need to. 153 00:08:18,405 --> 00:08:20,205 Speaker 1: I really love this too, because it kind of ties 154 00:08:20,245 --> 00:08:23,085 Speaker 1: back to your statistic that you've named before and how 155 00:08:23,125 --> 00:08:25,565 Speaker 1: common it is. But also what I'm hearing is that 156 00:08:26,125 --> 00:08:29,245 Speaker 1: even though it's common, anxiety can show up in different ways. 157 00:08:29,325 --> 00:08:31,885 Speaker 1: So I like that you're kind of giving us the 158 00:08:31,965 --> 00:08:35,405 Speaker 1: listeners different ideas of what that could potentially look like. 159 00:08:35,765 --> 00:08:39,005 Speaker 5: Yes, And the reason it is so common is because 160 00:08:39,205 --> 00:08:43,645 Speaker 5: from a biological prehistoric perspective, anxiety was crucial for the 161 00:08:43,685 --> 00:08:47,125 Speaker 5: survival of the species, if we remember, it serves evolutionary 162 00:08:47,605 --> 00:08:52,125 Speaker 5: function to protect us. It's just that nowadays we live 163 00:08:52,245 --> 00:08:54,645 Speaker 5: in a world, in a society, especially if you live 164 00:08:54,645 --> 00:08:57,605 Speaker 5: in here in Australia, where we don't need to be 165 00:08:57,805 --> 00:09:01,765 Speaker 5: as alert for threats and dangers. But emotions exist in 166 00:09:01,805 --> 00:09:05,085 Speaker 5: a very primal part of the brain, so we feel 167 00:09:05,125 --> 00:09:08,605 Speaker 5: those emotional experiences much more and that anxiety much more 168 00:09:08,645 --> 00:09:11,965 Speaker 5: than actually need to given how our life and society 169 00:09:11,965 --> 00:09:12,885 Speaker 5: functions these days. 170 00:09:14,765 --> 00:09:17,525 Speaker 1: So what about a stress spiral, Like, what exactly is 171 00:09:17,525 --> 00:09:18,405 Speaker 1: a stress spirl? 172 00:09:18,445 --> 00:09:20,805 Speaker 2: And how can you tell if you're caughting one? 173 00:09:20,925 --> 00:09:23,645 Speaker 5: I love this because a stress spiral is not necessarily 174 00:09:23,805 --> 00:09:27,725 Speaker 5: a clinical technical term that I would use, but it 175 00:09:27,845 --> 00:09:30,085 Speaker 5: is definitely a term that many of my clients will 176 00:09:30,165 --> 00:09:33,165 Speaker 5: use right in sort of pop culture, and when people 177 00:09:33,165 --> 00:09:36,285 Speaker 5: colloquially talk about anxiety, they will talk about being in 178 00:09:36,325 --> 00:09:39,165 Speaker 5: a stress spiral. And so I guess what people are 179 00:09:39,205 --> 00:09:43,965 Speaker 5: getting at is this idea of getting deeper and deeper 180 00:09:44,125 --> 00:09:48,965 Speaker 5: in an experience. Stress Again, a normal natural emotion that 181 00:09:49,005 --> 00:09:51,605 Speaker 5: will all experience at some point in time when we're 182 00:09:51,605 --> 00:09:54,725 Speaker 5: feeling overwhelmed with some sort of pressure. But what can 183 00:09:54,765 --> 00:09:58,245 Speaker 5: happen is we can get caught further and further in 184 00:09:58,325 --> 00:10:01,085 Speaker 5: that experience, which ultimately makes it more and more intense. 185 00:10:02,525 --> 00:10:04,845 Speaker 1: So does that mean in a way with stress spirals? 186 00:10:04,845 --> 00:10:07,045 Speaker 1: Because you mentioned and I hear it all the time. 187 00:10:07,085 --> 00:10:09,805 Speaker 1: It is thrown around a lot in pop culture. So 188 00:10:10,565 --> 00:10:12,285 Speaker 1: what isn't a stress viral? 189 00:10:12,365 --> 00:10:17,805 Speaker 5: Then that's a good alternative question. What isn't a stress viral? 190 00:10:18,045 --> 00:10:21,365 Speaker 5: What isn't a stress viral is when we experience stress 191 00:10:21,405 --> 00:10:26,765 Speaker 5: in a way that meets the expectation of a situation. 192 00:10:26,965 --> 00:10:30,805 Speaker 5: So if I have an impending deadline for work on 193 00:10:31,045 --> 00:10:35,005 Speaker 5: Friday and it's now Thursday and I haven't got it 194 00:10:35,045 --> 00:10:38,245 Speaker 5: almost done, stress is going to naturally come about, and 195 00:10:38,245 --> 00:10:41,245 Speaker 5: stress can actually be a really useful thing in that situation. 196 00:10:41,365 --> 00:10:43,805 Speaker 5: Because I don't know if you've ever experienced this, but 197 00:10:43,885 --> 00:10:46,365 Speaker 5: a little bit of healthy stress helps us get things done. 198 00:10:46,565 --> 00:10:47,925 Speaker 2: Very true can confirm. 199 00:10:48,685 --> 00:10:52,885 Speaker 5: So healthy stress actually motivates us to meet the deadline, 200 00:10:53,165 --> 00:10:56,965 Speaker 5: to get done what we need to do. Unhealthy stress 201 00:10:57,325 --> 00:10:58,285 Speaker 5: debilitates us. 202 00:10:59,845 --> 00:11:02,325 Speaker 1: It's really interesting because I'm hearing some common themes. Even 203 00:11:02,325 --> 00:11:05,005 Speaker 1: with anxiety. What we're hearing is it's helpful and unhelpful. 204 00:11:05,045 --> 00:11:08,125 Speaker 1: But also with stress, it's helpful and also unhelpful. 205 00:11:08,205 --> 00:11:11,405 Speaker 5: So and that goes with all emotions. All emotions can 206 00:11:11,445 --> 00:11:13,525 Speaker 5: be helpful when they fit the context and when we 207 00:11:13,605 --> 00:11:17,125 Speaker 5: experience them in a way that feels manageable. But if 208 00:11:17,125 --> 00:11:19,925 Speaker 5: we experience them too intensely or too much or for 209 00:11:20,005 --> 00:11:23,645 Speaker 5: too long, they can become really debilitating in our lives. 210 00:11:24,165 --> 00:11:28,085 Speaker 1: So is there a difference between anxiety in the body 211 00:11:28,125 --> 00:11:30,685 Speaker 1: as we feel it versus thinking anxious thoughts. 212 00:11:31,245 --> 00:11:35,965 Speaker 5: Yes, absolutely, they're absolutely related. They're connected. So our thoughts, 213 00:11:36,165 --> 00:11:40,245 Speaker 5: our thoughts are very powerful. They certainly influence how we feel. 214 00:11:40,405 --> 00:11:43,365 Speaker 5: So if I'm worrying, if I'm going through that anxious 215 00:11:43,405 --> 00:11:47,725 Speaker 5: thinking process, I'm more likely to feel anxiety in the body. 216 00:11:48,365 --> 00:11:51,685 Speaker 5: But one of the things I interestingly find in the 217 00:11:51,725 --> 00:11:55,765 Speaker 5: work that I do with clients is that people tend 218 00:11:55,925 --> 00:11:59,165 Speaker 5: to fall into one of two categories. Some people will 219 00:11:59,165 --> 00:12:01,805 Speaker 5: come into the therapy room and they'll be able to 220 00:12:02,125 --> 00:12:08,045 Speaker 5: describe to me in great detail the physical experience of anxiety. 221 00:12:08,365 --> 00:12:10,605 Speaker 5: So they'll tell me that get anxious, and they'll say, 222 00:12:10,605 --> 00:12:13,565 Speaker 5: I feel my heart racing, I get sweaty, I feel dizzy, 223 00:12:13,565 --> 00:12:16,245 Speaker 5: I feel like I'm going to faint, my legs feel wobbly, 224 00:12:16,245 --> 00:12:18,405 Speaker 5: and I feel like I can't stand up anymore. So 225 00:12:18,445 --> 00:12:20,685 Speaker 5: they can give me all the details about what it 226 00:12:20,725 --> 00:12:25,085 Speaker 5: physically feels like in their body. Other people can come 227 00:12:25,085 --> 00:12:27,725 Speaker 5: in the room and tell me great details about what 228 00:12:27,765 --> 00:12:31,325 Speaker 5: they're thinking, their thought processes, and the things that they're 229 00:12:31,365 --> 00:12:34,885 Speaker 5: worrying about. And ultimately, what we want to help people 230 00:12:34,965 --> 00:12:38,485 Speaker 5: do is have an awareness of both the thought processes 231 00:12:38,565 --> 00:12:41,805 Speaker 5: that can be quite anxious in nature and the physical 232 00:12:41,845 --> 00:12:46,405 Speaker 5: experience of anxiety in the body. 233 00:12:46,485 --> 00:12:49,485 Speaker 1: So what about a panic attack, What exactly is that. 234 00:12:49,965 --> 00:12:54,445 Speaker 5: A panic attack is different to anxiety. We could sort 235 00:12:54,445 --> 00:12:59,525 Speaker 5: of summarize it as a much more intense experience of 236 00:12:59,565 --> 00:13:03,525 Speaker 5: anxiety in and of itself. So a panic attack tends 237 00:13:03,565 --> 00:13:07,205 Speaker 5: to last not more than ten minutes on average. And 238 00:13:07,285 --> 00:13:11,565 Speaker 5: when people experience a panic attack, they have this overwhelming 239 00:13:11,725 --> 00:13:18,405 Speaker 5: physical experience of those anxious sensations, so really intense heart racing, sweating, 240 00:13:19,445 --> 00:13:22,325 Speaker 5: feeling shaky, feeling like they're going to faint. And often 241 00:13:22,365 --> 00:13:25,645 Speaker 5: people actually describe it as a feeling where they think 242 00:13:25,685 --> 00:13:27,845 Speaker 5: they're having a heart attack or they think they might 243 00:13:27,925 --> 00:13:31,165 Speaker 5: be dying. Like it's actually quite a scary experience for 244 00:13:31,205 --> 00:13:33,365 Speaker 5: those who do have panic attacks. 245 00:13:34,125 --> 00:13:37,205 Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel like panic attacks. It's something I feel. 246 00:13:37,445 --> 00:13:40,165 Speaker 1: I hear all the time with people who've experienced personally 247 00:13:40,325 --> 00:13:43,045 Speaker 1: or observed someone else that they love going through one, 248 00:13:43,125 --> 00:13:45,165 Speaker 1: and it can be quite confronting in a way. 249 00:13:45,365 --> 00:13:47,925 Speaker 5: And the thing is, often these panic attacks can feel 250 00:13:47,965 --> 00:13:51,125 Speaker 5: like they come out of nowhere. There isn't always a 251 00:13:51,245 --> 00:13:55,365 Speaker 5: clear trigger, So it's not necessarily like, you know, Catherine 252 00:13:55,445 --> 00:13:57,805 Speaker 5: about to go on stage, worrying about is she going 253 00:13:57,845 --> 00:13:59,525 Speaker 5: to make a fool out of herself Pete. Someone might 254 00:13:59,565 --> 00:14:01,445 Speaker 5: literally just be sitting in the office and all of 255 00:14:01,445 --> 00:14:05,365 Speaker 5: a sudden they get this onslaught of anxious symptoms and 256 00:14:05,405 --> 00:14:08,725 Speaker 5: they have a panic attack. Sometimes the trigger can be 257 00:14:08,805 --> 00:14:11,845 Speaker 5: outside in the environment. But actually sometimes it can be 258 00:14:11,925 --> 00:14:15,525 Speaker 5: an internal sensation. So for example, if I've had a 259 00:14:15,525 --> 00:14:18,245 Speaker 5: couple of cups of coffee today, maybe a few too 260 00:14:18,285 --> 00:14:23,285 Speaker 5: many cups of coffee, well, my heart might be racing 261 00:14:23,405 --> 00:14:25,965 Speaker 5: a little bit faster than it usually would, and that's 262 00:14:25,965 --> 00:14:29,205 Speaker 5: because of the stimulant from the caffeine. But someone who's 263 00:14:29,205 --> 00:14:31,445 Speaker 5: prone to panic attacks might be sitting in the office 264 00:14:31,445 --> 00:14:38,085 Speaker 5: and goof, my heart's racing. Heart racing equals anxiousness and anxiety. 265 00:14:38,485 --> 00:14:41,725 Speaker 5: What's happening in my life right now that I'm anxious about? 266 00:14:41,845 --> 00:14:44,725 Speaker 5: And so then they'll start spiraling down that rabbit hole, 267 00:14:44,965 --> 00:14:47,485 Speaker 5: whereas it's actually just a physical sensation that they've picked 268 00:14:47,565 --> 00:14:49,605 Speaker 5: up on and honed in on a bit too much. 269 00:14:50,605 --> 00:14:53,045 Speaker 1: So does that mean because what I'm hearing panic attacks, 270 00:14:53,085 --> 00:14:56,405 Speaker 1: it's definitely a really big it's a body sensation. 271 00:14:56,525 --> 00:14:58,285 Speaker 2: It's quite sounds quite severe. 272 00:14:58,445 --> 00:15:01,645 Speaker 1: So then what's the difference between just feeling anxiety in 273 00:15:01,725 --> 00:15:04,525 Speaker 1: your body versus I'm having a panic attack. 274 00:15:05,805 --> 00:15:09,165 Speaker 5: I think it comes back to the usefulness of the experience. 275 00:15:09,365 --> 00:15:12,045 Speaker 5: So when someone has a panic attack, it's for those 276 00:15:12,165 --> 00:15:15,045 Speaker 5: ten or so minutes it's debilitating. It feels like they 277 00:15:15,085 --> 00:15:18,205 Speaker 5: cannot function. People might often have to actually leave the 278 00:15:18,285 --> 00:15:22,845 Speaker 5: room and excuse themselves, whereas anxiety in and of itself 279 00:15:23,485 --> 00:15:26,365 Speaker 5: might be uncomfortable, but we can still function in the world. 280 00:15:26,445 --> 00:15:29,085 Speaker 5: It can motivate us to take an action that's helpful 281 00:15:29,125 --> 00:15:29,525 Speaker 5: for us. 282 00:15:30,725 --> 00:15:32,565 Speaker 1: So it's a bit like there's a bit of a spectrum, 283 00:15:32,605 --> 00:15:35,405 Speaker 1: but if it's anxiety in the body, there's somewhat more 284 00:15:35,445 --> 00:15:37,925 Speaker 1: control around how you can move through it. 285 00:15:38,125 --> 00:15:38,325 Speaker 5: Yes. 286 00:15:38,565 --> 00:15:41,245 Speaker 1: Yeah, so you've told us a bit about Catherine with 287 00:15:41,325 --> 00:15:44,005 Speaker 1: her fear of public speaking. What are some of the 288 00:15:44,085 --> 00:15:46,285 Speaker 1: other themes you're noticing in your clinical work. 289 00:15:46,965 --> 00:15:50,285 Speaker 5: Anxiety shows up in so many different ways for people. 290 00:15:50,645 --> 00:15:54,925 Speaker 5: But actually, interestingly, one of the recent themes I've seen 291 00:15:55,405 --> 00:16:00,325 Speaker 5: is this anxiousness and worry about big picture kind of 292 00:16:00,405 --> 00:16:05,725 Speaker 5: global events, So things like worrying about wars, worrying about 293 00:16:05,845 --> 00:16:09,165 Speaker 5: climate change, worrying about politics and how politics are going 294 00:16:09,205 --> 00:16:13,685 Speaker 5: to influence the future. And often in these cases they're 295 00:16:13,765 --> 00:16:17,245 Speaker 5: issues that are so big that one person, you know, 296 00:16:17,325 --> 00:16:22,205 Speaker 5: can't necessarily change them. So there's this theme of anxiety 297 00:16:22,285 --> 00:16:25,045 Speaker 5: coming through the clinic room where people are feeling really 298 00:16:25,125 --> 00:16:28,725 Speaker 5: quite overwhelmed and sometimes also a little bit hopeless, kind 299 00:16:28,725 --> 00:16:30,885 Speaker 5: of at the state of affairs in the world at 300 00:16:30,885 --> 00:16:33,205 Speaker 5: the moment. So that's one thing I've seen more of, 301 00:16:33,245 --> 00:16:36,565 Speaker 5: particularly with climate change. Young people are really worried about 302 00:16:36,685 --> 00:16:38,885 Speaker 5: and wanting to talk about climate change at the moment. 303 00:16:39,725 --> 00:16:43,925 Speaker 5: But another one is cost of living. Things have become 304 00:16:44,005 --> 00:16:46,565 Speaker 5: so expensive at the moment. We're certainly in a cost 305 00:16:46,605 --> 00:16:51,685 Speaker 5: of living crisis, and that can range from people worrying 306 00:16:51,725 --> 00:16:54,205 Speaker 5: about how they're going to, you know, afford to buy 307 00:16:54,205 --> 00:16:55,765 Speaker 5: a house one day in the future if that's one 308 00:16:55,805 --> 00:16:57,765 Speaker 5: of their goals, all the way down to do I 309 00:16:57,805 --> 00:16:59,725 Speaker 5: have enough money to buy groceries this week? 310 00:17:00,885 --> 00:17:03,765 Speaker 1: I mean, the cost of living example is so relatable 311 00:17:03,805 --> 00:17:07,285 Speaker 1: and I think even for me personally. Once I left 312 00:17:07,365 --> 00:17:11,325 Speaker 1: high school, I went straight into university and then went 313 00:17:11,365 --> 00:17:14,605 Speaker 1: down that traditional path, but then I decided to get 314 00:17:14,605 --> 00:17:17,005 Speaker 1: into the startup world, so I started the flourish journey, 315 00:17:17,005 --> 00:17:18,885 Speaker 1: which I'm so incredibly proud of. 316 00:17:19,045 --> 00:17:21,045 Speaker 2: But in saying that, you. 317 00:17:21,005 --> 00:17:24,125 Speaker 1: Know, startup life, you don't really have a very stable income, 318 00:17:24,245 --> 00:17:26,925 Speaker 1: which means you can't really secure alone for a home, 319 00:17:27,045 --> 00:17:29,085 Speaker 1: And to be honest, when you're in your early twenties, 320 00:17:29,125 --> 00:17:30,005 Speaker 1: you don't really. 321 00:17:29,805 --> 00:17:30,805 Speaker 2: Think about those things. 322 00:17:30,845 --> 00:17:33,525 Speaker 1: You think that, oh, that's a ten year problem. But 323 00:17:33,965 --> 00:17:36,565 Speaker 1: fast forward, you know, I'm thirty three now. It feels 324 00:17:36,565 --> 00:17:38,805 Speaker 1: like society tells you, oh, you need to have a 325 00:17:38,845 --> 00:17:40,765 Speaker 1: house and have all the things set up. 326 00:17:40,725 --> 00:17:42,605 Speaker 2: By thirty and that weighs on me. 327 00:17:42,765 --> 00:17:45,885 Speaker 1: I feel like I feel like I am behind, even 328 00:17:45,885 --> 00:17:48,125 Speaker 1: though it's so easy to look at the highlight reels 329 00:17:48,165 --> 00:17:50,765 Speaker 1: on Instagram and know that it is the highlight reels, 330 00:17:50,805 --> 00:17:53,845 Speaker 1: but you still get sucked into it. So it's definitely 331 00:17:53,845 --> 00:17:55,605 Speaker 1: something that weighs on me. I'm not sure if that's 332 00:17:55,885 --> 00:17:57,285 Speaker 1: something you can relate to as well. 333 00:17:57,605 --> 00:18:00,845 Speaker 5: Absolutely, this idea of kind of financially where we should 334 00:18:00,845 --> 00:18:02,525 Speaker 5: be at any point in our life and how much 335 00:18:02,565 --> 00:18:04,525 Speaker 5: we should have saved or what we should have done 336 00:18:04,565 --> 00:18:07,045 Speaker 5: with that money, is you know, something I can relate 337 00:18:07,085 --> 00:18:08,725 Speaker 5: to as well. But as I said, like a lot 338 00:18:08,765 --> 00:18:10,765 Speaker 5: of people, a lot of younger people are kind of 339 00:18:10,765 --> 00:18:12,965 Speaker 5: thinking about this and worrying about it as well. 340 00:18:13,165 --> 00:18:14,925 Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel like there's a lot of shame around 341 00:18:14,965 --> 00:18:17,685 Speaker 1: talking about money, right, and so often we feel like 342 00:18:17,725 --> 00:18:20,085 Speaker 1: we're alone in it, or we feel like we're the 343 00:18:20,125 --> 00:18:22,285 Speaker 1: poorest friend out of everyone. 344 00:18:22,605 --> 00:18:25,485 Speaker 5: And the starts speak to the opposite, right, So so 345 00:18:25,765 --> 00:18:29,405 Speaker 5: many people are actually struggling financially. And I was actually 346 00:18:29,445 --> 00:18:31,285 Speaker 5: looking at a report that came out last year from 347 00:18:31,285 --> 00:18:36,005 Speaker 5: Mission Australia and it surveyed almost twenty thousand people and 348 00:18:36,045 --> 00:18:38,725 Speaker 5: a particularly young cohort. Right, So these were fifteen to 349 00:18:38,885 --> 00:18:42,045 Speaker 5: nineteen year olds, and what they found is that fifty 350 00:18:42,085 --> 00:18:46,485 Speaker 5: five percent, so more than half, were significantly worried about 351 00:18:46,485 --> 00:18:49,365 Speaker 5: and had anxiety about their financial security. And I was 352 00:18:49,405 --> 00:18:51,205 Speaker 5: just blown away when I read that, because I was like, 353 00:18:51,405 --> 00:18:54,565 Speaker 5: fifteen to nineteen year olds, like we should be worried about. 354 00:18:54,605 --> 00:18:57,405 Speaker 5: Fifteen is like you know, the fight that you've had 355 00:18:57,405 --> 00:18:59,525 Speaker 5: with your friends at school, and like you're going to 356 00:18:59,565 --> 00:19:02,085 Speaker 5: sit with at lunch and maybe studying for tests, not 357 00:19:02,125 --> 00:19:03,925 Speaker 5: financial security for your future. 358 00:19:06,965 --> 00:19:08,925 Speaker 1: After this short break, duck down a stage is going 359 00:19:08,925 --> 00:19:11,645 Speaker 1: to teach you the five minute method to help you 360 00:19:11,765 --> 00:19:15,565 Speaker 1: break out of an anxiety spiral and stop an anxiety attack. 361 00:19:15,365 --> 00:19:16,165 Speaker 2: In its tracks. 362 00:19:20,685 --> 00:19:24,685 Speaker 1: At Asasia, I want to ask you for two techniques today. First, 363 00:19:24,685 --> 00:19:26,525 Speaker 1: I want you to tell us what we can do 364 00:19:26,605 --> 00:19:31,045 Speaker 1: for ourselves where we find ourselves spirally, and what should 365 00:19:31,045 --> 00:19:32,045 Speaker 1: we do for someone else. 366 00:19:33,165 --> 00:19:34,285 Speaker 2: Let's start with ourselves. 367 00:19:34,845 --> 00:19:38,285 Speaker 5: So the technique and the strategies that I'm going to 368 00:19:38,325 --> 00:19:40,685 Speaker 5: give you today are based on a type of therapy 369 00:19:40,885 --> 00:19:46,085 Speaker 5: called cognitive behavior therapy or CBT for short, and it 370 00:19:46,165 --> 00:19:48,925 Speaker 5: has the evidence behind it. It's sort of the gold 371 00:19:49,045 --> 00:19:52,485 Speaker 5: standard therapeutic approach that we would use for someone who 372 00:19:52,525 --> 00:19:57,165 Speaker 5: is experiencing anxiety. It's what I used with Catherine when 373 00:19:57,165 --> 00:19:59,045 Speaker 5: she was worried about getting on stage and doing her 374 00:19:59,085 --> 00:20:03,765 Speaker 5: public speaking. So what I first recommends to people, and 375 00:20:03,805 --> 00:20:06,085 Speaker 5: this is going to sound really basic, but bear with me, 376 00:20:07,605 --> 00:20:13,125 Speaker 5: is stop as a first step, just stop, take a moment, 377 00:20:13,685 --> 00:20:16,325 Speaker 5: take a breath, take a pause. For us to be 378 00:20:16,365 --> 00:20:19,605 Speaker 5: able to do kind of anything effective for ourselves, we 379 00:20:19,725 --> 00:20:22,125 Speaker 5: first need to be able to just stop and take 380 00:20:22,165 --> 00:20:25,005 Speaker 5: a breath and ground ourselves in the moment. 381 00:20:25,765 --> 00:20:28,885 Speaker 1: It's really interesting because it can sound really basic, but 382 00:20:28,925 --> 00:20:31,605 Speaker 1: also it can be really hard when you're in it 383 00:20:31,725 --> 00:20:32,405 Speaker 1: so deeply. 384 00:20:32,885 --> 00:20:33,965 Speaker 2: It's hard to stop. 385 00:20:34,485 --> 00:20:38,405 Speaker 5: Yes, absolutely, And so I say to people, just like physically, stop, 386 00:20:38,485 --> 00:20:42,405 Speaker 5: don't take another step, don't say another word, you know, metaphorically, 387 00:20:42,525 --> 00:20:44,325 Speaker 5: even if you're sort of in a situation where you 388 00:20:44,445 --> 00:20:47,365 Speaker 5: are in a meeting at work or something, imagine yourself stopping, 389 00:20:47,685 --> 00:20:50,365 Speaker 5: but just kind of take that moment, take that pause, 390 00:20:50,845 --> 00:20:53,965 Speaker 5: take that breath, because once we've done that we're in 391 00:20:54,005 --> 00:20:57,125 Speaker 5: a better position to help ourselves through the next few steps. 392 00:20:57,565 --> 00:21:01,605 Speaker 5: So once we've stopped, we want to take a moment 393 00:21:02,325 --> 00:21:07,765 Speaker 5: to think about our thinking, reflect on our thoughts, actually 394 00:21:07,925 --> 00:21:11,485 Speaker 5: notice what our brain and our mind is telling us. 395 00:21:12,165 --> 00:21:15,245 Speaker 5: We were saying earlier that the mind is so powerful, 396 00:21:15,325 --> 00:21:19,165 Speaker 5: our thoughts are so powerful, and they certainly influence us 397 00:21:19,565 --> 00:21:24,245 Speaker 5: to feel particular ways. But not everything that we think, well, 398 00:21:24,325 --> 00:21:28,205 Speaker 5: not everything that we tell ourselves is actually true. We 399 00:21:28,485 --> 00:21:35,245 Speaker 5: all engage in unhelpful patterns of thinking. We might catastrophize, 400 00:21:35,405 --> 00:21:38,045 Speaker 5: we might be quite black and white now thinking, we 401 00:21:38,125 --> 00:21:41,365 Speaker 5: might just jump to conclusions. We do all these sort 402 00:21:41,445 --> 00:21:44,525 Speaker 5: of thought patterns quite naturally, but they can actually be 403 00:21:44,605 --> 00:21:48,165 Speaker 5: really unhelpful for us. So if I circle back to Catherine, 404 00:21:48,325 --> 00:21:50,725 Speaker 5: as I was saying, she would be very fearful of 405 00:21:50,725 --> 00:21:54,005 Speaker 5: getting on stage, and her brain would be telling her, 406 00:21:54,405 --> 00:21:56,005 Speaker 5: you're going to make a full of yourself. You're going 407 00:21:56,045 --> 00:21:57,485 Speaker 5: to stuff up, you're going to forget what you have 408 00:21:57,565 --> 00:21:59,845 Speaker 5: to talk about, and then you'll have to run off 409 00:21:59,885 --> 00:22:02,045 Speaker 5: stage and everyone will be talking about it for the 410 00:22:02,125 --> 00:22:05,205 Speaker 5: next two weeks at work. So she was telling herself 411 00:22:05,285 --> 00:22:09,125 Speaker 5: all these unhelpful things that probably weren't actually going to happen, 412 00:22:09,445 --> 00:22:11,565 Speaker 5: weren't very true and weren't based on any kind of 413 00:22:11,605 --> 00:22:14,605 Speaker 5: history of that actually happening to her. So it's really 414 00:22:14,645 --> 00:22:17,885 Speaker 5: important for us to be able to identify what is 415 00:22:17,925 --> 00:22:21,445 Speaker 5: my brain actually telling me so that I can then 416 00:22:21,605 --> 00:22:26,365 Speaker 5: examine A is it true? And B is it helpful? 417 00:22:27,645 --> 00:22:30,325 Speaker 1: I really like that moment of pause, and essentially we're 418 00:22:30,405 --> 00:22:32,645 Speaker 1: kind of zooming out to see what are we thinking 419 00:22:32,725 --> 00:22:34,405 Speaker 1: and if it is helpful or not helpful. 420 00:22:34,885 --> 00:22:36,725 Speaker 2: And I find even journaling. 421 00:22:36,885 --> 00:22:39,685 Speaker 1: Journaling is such a great way to actually put it 422 00:22:39,725 --> 00:22:42,645 Speaker 1: down on paper and then getting to the bottom of it. 423 00:22:42,725 --> 00:22:44,445 Speaker 1: I know, for me, there's been times where I just 424 00:22:44,485 --> 00:22:46,805 Speaker 1: look at the things that I'm actually thinking about and 425 00:22:47,005 --> 00:22:49,365 Speaker 1: I can't help but kind of giggle to myself, being like, 426 00:22:49,405 --> 00:22:50,765 Speaker 1: this is actually ridiculous. 427 00:22:50,765 --> 00:22:51,765 Speaker 2: I would never say this. 428 00:22:51,765 --> 00:22:54,365 Speaker 1: To anyone else, but you know, we're all our own 429 00:22:54,605 --> 00:22:55,605 Speaker 1: worst in a critic. 430 00:22:55,725 --> 00:22:59,325 Speaker 5: So I love the journaling because actually seeing those words 431 00:22:59,365 --> 00:23:02,645 Speaker 5: that we're internally saying to ourselves on paper, we put 432 00:23:02,645 --> 00:23:05,685 Speaker 5: that distance between ourselves and the thoughts, and so we 433 00:23:05,725 --> 00:23:08,605 Speaker 5: can see it with a bit more clarity. So once 434 00:23:08,645 --> 00:23:13,805 Speaker 5: we've stopped, we've reflected on our thoughts, we've identified that 435 00:23:13,925 --> 00:23:16,405 Speaker 5: maybe they're not that true or that helpful for the 436 00:23:16,445 --> 00:23:20,965 Speaker 5: situation that we're in. I then encourage people to ask themselves, 437 00:23:21,605 --> 00:23:25,325 Speaker 5: what about this situation is in your control and what's 438 00:23:25,445 --> 00:23:28,925 Speaker 5: out of your control? Because once we can identify what 439 00:23:29,045 --> 00:23:32,845 Speaker 5: is within our control, we can make active steps to 440 00:23:32,885 --> 00:23:35,405 Speaker 5: have agency over that and change the thing that's in 441 00:23:35,445 --> 00:23:39,285 Speaker 5: our control. Sometimes we get stuck being so anxious about 442 00:23:39,325 --> 00:23:41,525 Speaker 5: things that are ultimately out of our control that we 443 00:23:41,565 --> 00:23:46,205 Speaker 5: can't change, and that's really where worry becomes quite unhelpful 444 00:23:46,245 --> 00:23:48,765 Speaker 5: for us. So if we can focus on what's in 445 00:23:48,805 --> 00:23:52,125 Speaker 5: our control, we can take steps to action that and 446 00:23:52,165 --> 00:23:53,485 Speaker 5: create some change for ourselves. 447 00:23:53,805 --> 00:23:56,325 Speaker 1: So what happens if you're too deep in the spiral 448 00:23:56,685 --> 00:24:00,085 Speaker 1: and you know the strategies you've just mentioned doesn't actually work. 449 00:24:00,165 --> 00:24:01,045 Speaker 5: What do we do? 450 00:24:01,165 --> 00:24:01,365 Speaker 2: Then? 451 00:24:03,285 --> 00:24:05,685 Speaker 5: This is great because it's all well and good for 452 00:24:05,765 --> 00:24:07,885 Speaker 5: us to be able to think about our thinking. Yeah, 453 00:24:08,845 --> 00:24:12,725 Speaker 5: but if we're in a state of panic and distress 454 00:24:12,805 --> 00:24:15,485 Speaker 5: and complete overwhelm, that's actually a really hard thing to do. 455 00:24:16,285 --> 00:24:18,805 Speaker 5: So if we're at that eight, nine to ten out 456 00:24:18,805 --> 00:24:22,365 Speaker 5: of ten level of anxiety, I actually recommend that people 457 00:24:22,525 --> 00:24:27,285 Speaker 5: instead utilize the senses. Right, So there's two different ways 458 00:24:27,285 --> 00:24:30,485 Speaker 5: we can do this. One is going down a pathway 459 00:24:30,725 --> 00:24:34,245 Speaker 5: of what we call self soothing. So this is using 460 00:24:34,245 --> 00:24:37,885 Speaker 5: the senses in a way that's really comforting and nice 461 00:24:38,085 --> 00:24:41,405 Speaker 5: and kind to help bring down that level of stress 462 00:24:41,405 --> 00:24:45,285 Speaker 5: and anxiety to a level that feels more manageable. So 463 00:24:45,445 --> 00:24:48,645 Speaker 5: if we think across the senses, these might be things 464 00:24:48,805 --> 00:24:54,365 Speaker 5: like lighting a scented candle, smelling some incense, eating something 465 00:24:54,405 --> 00:24:58,125 Speaker 5: that tastes really lovely or nostalgic, you know, sipping on 466 00:24:58,165 --> 00:25:05,365 Speaker 5: a hot cup of tea or oha. So utilizing the 467 00:25:05,405 --> 00:25:09,685 Speaker 5: sensors in a way that's calming for the body. Tend 468 00:25:09,685 --> 00:25:13,165 Speaker 5: to have sensory preferences. So for me, I love touch. 469 00:25:13,565 --> 00:25:16,365 Speaker 5: If I don't feel good, my go to is it 470 00:25:16,365 --> 00:25:18,325 Speaker 5: doesn't matter how hot it is, put on a jumper. 471 00:25:18,405 --> 00:25:20,085 Speaker 5: I find it, like, you know, having a bit of 472 00:25:20,125 --> 00:25:23,045 Speaker 5: a hug put on the jumper, it's really comforting. Get 473 00:25:23,125 --> 00:25:26,205 Speaker 5: under the dona, anything that sort of is touching my 474 00:25:26,365 --> 00:25:29,245 Speaker 5: skin is really calming and soothing for me. I don't know, 475 00:25:29,285 --> 00:25:31,885 Speaker 5: a Shane, if you've got sensory preferences. 476 00:25:31,525 --> 00:25:33,925 Speaker 1: I feel like, I mean outside of the matcha as well, 477 00:25:34,165 --> 00:25:37,765 Speaker 1: like food taste is really good, but also the senses, 478 00:25:37,885 --> 00:25:40,885 Speaker 1: so dim lighting, it's just so calming and it feels 479 00:25:40,885 --> 00:25:42,845 Speaker 1: like I'm in a spa, but I'm at home with 480 00:25:42,845 --> 00:25:43,645 Speaker 1: my fairy lights on. 481 00:25:44,005 --> 00:25:49,125 Speaker 5: So yes, So the self soothing can be really effective 482 00:25:49,165 --> 00:25:51,845 Speaker 5: when we can't think our way out of anxiety, but 483 00:25:51,885 --> 00:25:55,165 Speaker 5: we want to physically do something to help regulate our anxiety. 484 00:25:55,685 --> 00:25:59,325 Speaker 5: Self soothing is great. The other option that utilizes the 485 00:25:59,405 --> 00:26:03,685 Speaker 5: sensors is a more intense version of using the sensors, 486 00:26:04,125 --> 00:26:06,845 Speaker 5: and this provides a bit of a shock to the system. 487 00:26:07,285 --> 00:26:11,285 Speaker 5: So if there is one strategy I could give someone 488 00:26:11,485 --> 00:26:14,365 Speaker 5: to help manage their anxiety when it's at that ten 489 00:26:14,445 --> 00:26:21,245 Speaker 5: out of ten peak, it's utilizing cold cold water, really 490 00:26:21,925 --> 00:26:25,045 Speaker 5: frozen ice packs from the freezer, a bag of frozen peas, 491 00:26:25,085 --> 00:26:29,045 Speaker 5: whatever you've got that's cold. It is incredibly effective on 492 00:26:29,085 --> 00:26:33,605 Speaker 5: a physiological level for reregulating our body. One of the 493 00:26:33,645 --> 00:26:35,805 Speaker 5: things we try to do is actually mimic what we 494 00:26:35,885 --> 00:26:38,645 Speaker 5: call the deep dive reflex. So this is something that 495 00:26:38,765 --> 00:26:43,445 Speaker 5: all mammals actually have, and it's ultimately this idea that 496 00:26:43,445 --> 00:26:46,445 Speaker 5: if you jumped into a swimming pool full of cold water, 497 00:26:46,725 --> 00:26:50,365 Speaker 5: you would naturally hold your breath. Your blood pressure changes, 498 00:26:50,525 --> 00:26:53,645 Speaker 5: your heart rate changes, and this all happens because your 499 00:26:53,645 --> 00:26:57,365 Speaker 5: body wants to conserve energy, and we can mimic this 500 00:26:57,605 --> 00:27:01,405 Speaker 5: to our advantage. So I encourage people, if they're feeling 501 00:27:01,605 --> 00:27:05,645 Speaker 5: really overwhelmed, jump in a cold shower. It doesn't feel pleasant, 502 00:27:06,245 --> 00:27:08,005 Speaker 5: it takes a bit of bit it gots to get 503 00:27:08,005 --> 00:27:11,325 Speaker 5: in there sometimes unless you someone who regularly does cold plunges. 504 00:27:12,805 --> 00:27:16,605 Speaker 5: But it can be hard but incredibly effective. If you 505 00:27:16,685 --> 00:27:20,565 Speaker 5: imagine yourself ten out of ten anxiety, you know, hot, flush, 506 00:27:20,645 --> 00:27:24,085 Speaker 5: heart racing, sweating, dizzy, and you jumped in a cold 507 00:27:24,085 --> 00:27:27,685 Speaker 5: swimming pool or a cold shower, you would pretty quickly 508 00:27:28,445 --> 00:27:32,005 Speaker 5: physically feel a fair bit better. Doesn't solve the problem 509 00:27:32,045 --> 00:27:36,205 Speaker 5: of what's causing the anxiety, but physically it helps reregulate 510 00:27:36,285 --> 00:27:37,725 Speaker 5: us so that we're in a better position to be 511 00:27:37,765 --> 00:27:41,325 Speaker 5: able to manage the anxious situation that we're faced with. 512 00:27:42,285 --> 00:27:45,085 Speaker 5: If you can't jump in the cold shower, I say, 513 00:27:45,325 --> 00:27:48,565 Speaker 5: get the ice packs out of the freezer, bag of 514 00:27:48,605 --> 00:27:51,365 Speaker 5: frozen peas, whatever you've got that's cold in the freezer, 515 00:27:51,445 --> 00:27:54,645 Speaker 5: and put it over your head and temples and around 516 00:27:54,645 --> 00:27:56,885 Speaker 5: the eyes. This is the really kind of effective place 517 00:27:56,925 --> 00:28:01,765 Speaker 5: we want to place the frozen object. But also if 518 00:28:01,765 --> 00:28:04,285 Speaker 5: you're out and about and you don't have a freezer 519 00:28:04,285 --> 00:28:08,125 Speaker 5: bag or a cold shower handy, get into woolies, go 520 00:28:08,205 --> 00:28:11,685 Speaker 5: into the freezer, open that door and feel the blast 521 00:28:11,725 --> 00:28:15,285 Speaker 5: of the cold. So if you're in the car, turn 522 00:28:15,325 --> 00:28:17,485 Speaker 5: on the air con blast it into your face. Your 523 00:28:17,485 --> 00:28:20,525 Speaker 5: face is really effective for trying to regulate with the cold. 524 00:28:20,645 --> 00:28:22,365 Speaker 5: So it's my go to tip. 525 00:28:22,765 --> 00:28:27,445 Speaker 1: Wow, you know, I'm so surprised that cold actually helps 526 00:28:27,565 --> 00:28:31,285 Speaker 1: because I know how much it can make me stress, 527 00:28:31,405 --> 00:28:34,125 Speaker 1: Like I assumed that it would spike my cortisol levels. 528 00:28:34,165 --> 00:28:36,845 Speaker 1: And yeah, I'm just glad that there's two options here. 529 00:28:36,925 --> 00:28:39,405 Speaker 1: I'm going to take the soothing route, not sure. 530 00:28:39,445 --> 00:28:39,805 Speaker 5: I don't know. 531 00:28:39,885 --> 00:28:41,805 Speaker 2: I'm not sure about the cold therapy. 532 00:28:41,485 --> 00:28:45,165 Speaker 5: But the stress is probably more before you're actually is 533 00:28:45,245 --> 00:28:46,845 Speaker 5: my thoughts. That's the anxiety. 534 00:28:47,605 --> 00:28:50,885 Speaker 2: Okay, cool, it's all clear. We're getting the breakthroughs here. 535 00:28:50,925 --> 00:28:51,485 Speaker 2: This is great. 536 00:28:53,725 --> 00:28:56,205 Speaker 1: So what if none of the techniques that you've talked 537 00:28:56,245 --> 00:29:00,965 Speaker 1: about still isn't working and someone's stealing really deep emotional pain, 538 00:29:01,125 --> 00:29:04,325 Speaker 1: like is that when they should seek a psychologist or 539 00:29:04,365 --> 00:29:06,725 Speaker 1: a professional to get medication. 540 00:29:06,885 --> 00:29:11,765 Speaker 5: Potentially, if people feel like therapy and these kinds of 541 00:29:11,805 --> 00:29:16,205 Speaker 5: strategies aren't working for them. That's definitely a situation where 542 00:29:16,245 --> 00:29:18,685 Speaker 5: we would encourage someone to go talk to either a 543 00:29:18,725 --> 00:29:22,405 Speaker 5: GP or a psychiatrist. Both can prescribe medications to be 544 00:29:22,445 --> 00:29:25,365 Speaker 5: able to talk through what the different options are. There 545 00:29:25,405 --> 00:29:29,205 Speaker 5: are so many different medications when it comes to managing 546 00:29:29,285 --> 00:29:32,525 Speaker 5: anxiety and our mental health that it is really important 547 00:29:32,565 --> 00:29:35,165 Speaker 5: to see a professional to talk through what the different 548 00:29:35,205 --> 00:29:40,005 Speaker 5: options are. But what I would say is that medication 549 00:29:40,685 --> 00:29:44,005 Speaker 5: can be incredibly helpful, but is best when it's done 550 00:29:44,045 --> 00:29:46,765 Speaker 5: in conjunction with therapy because often what we find is 551 00:29:46,765 --> 00:29:49,205 Speaker 5: that if people just go on medication for a period 552 00:29:49,245 --> 00:29:51,885 Speaker 5: of time, when they eventually decide to come off it, 553 00:29:52,165 --> 00:29:55,645 Speaker 5: if they haven't addressed what the underlying concerns and issues are, 554 00:29:55,925 --> 00:29:58,845 Speaker 5: they're probably very quickly going to go back to feeling anxious. 555 00:29:59,205 --> 00:30:03,205 Speaker 5: So the therapy and the medication hand in hand can 556 00:30:03,245 --> 00:30:05,125 Speaker 5: be a fantastic combination for people. 557 00:30:05,365 --> 00:30:07,565 Speaker 1: So you've just shared with us some really great techniques 558 00:30:07,605 --> 00:30:10,845 Speaker 1: around how to manage anxiety and panic attacks for ourselves, 559 00:30:11,325 --> 00:30:12,685 Speaker 1: But what about someone else? 560 00:30:13,325 --> 00:30:15,685 Speaker 5: If we're trying to help someone else who is feeling 561 00:30:15,725 --> 00:30:20,085 Speaker 5: anxious and overwhelmed, the first thing I would recommend is 562 00:30:20,125 --> 00:30:24,325 Speaker 5: don't panic yourself don't take on that other person's anxiety 563 00:30:24,365 --> 00:30:28,285 Speaker 5: and panic and feel anxious or panicky yourself. Stay calm 564 00:30:28,925 --> 00:30:32,485 Speaker 5: and stay with them. What I mean by stay with 565 00:30:32,565 --> 00:30:36,485 Speaker 5: them is yes, physically stay with them, but emotionally, stay 566 00:30:36,485 --> 00:30:40,725 Speaker 5: with them. Attune to what they're feeling, Listen to them, 567 00:30:41,125 --> 00:30:45,845 Speaker 5: hear them, validate them. Everyone wants to feel heard in life, 568 00:30:45,885 --> 00:30:48,485 Speaker 5: and so often it's the case that if someone's worried 569 00:30:48,485 --> 00:30:51,285 Speaker 5: about something, we want to jump in with a fix totally. 570 00:30:51,525 --> 00:30:54,245 Speaker 5: We want to say don't worry, everything will be fine, 571 00:30:54,285 --> 00:30:56,925 Speaker 5: and probably never in the history of someone feeling anxious 572 00:30:56,965 --> 00:30:59,285 Speaker 5: as that actually helps. Like if you say don't worry, 573 00:30:59,285 --> 00:31:01,325 Speaker 5: everything's going to be okay, the person doesn't walk away 574 00:31:01,365 --> 00:31:05,485 Speaker 5: being like, ah, okay, great, right. If we feel overwhelmed 575 00:31:05,525 --> 00:31:07,565 Speaker 5: and anxious, we want to feel heard. We want to 576 00:31:07,605 --> 00:31:12,685 Speaker 5: feel understood. So that's sometimes the biggest thing that we 577 00:31:12,765 --> 00:31:16,405 Speaker 5: can give people, being there with them physically, but emotionally 578 00:31:16,445 --> 00:31:17,005 Speaker 5: being with them. 579 00:31:17,445 --> 00:31:20,965 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's so it's so hard to do sometimes, I feel, 580 00:31:21,085 --> 00:31:24,405 Speaker 1: especially with women, we're so empathetic and when someone we 581 00:31:24,445 --> 00:31:28,245 Speaker 1: love that is struggling, it's easy to just subconsciously. 582 00:31:27,485 --> 00:31:28,005 Speaker 2: Take that on. 583 00:31:28,205 --> 00:31:31,645 Speaker 1: And I really like that you're helping us to separate ourselves, 584 00:31:31,645 --> 00:31:34,245 Speaker 1: being like, it has nothing to do about you or 585 00:31:34,245 --> 00:31:37,885 Speaker 1: how you showed up. It's purely what does that person need. 586 00:31:37,765 --> 00:31:40,565 Speaker 5: Right now, really focusing on that person and being there 587 00:31:40,605 --> 00:31:43,605 Speaker 5: for them, attuning to them. So once we've done that, 588 00:31:44,165 --> 00:31:47,645 Speaker 5: the next thing is moving into helping them through it. Right, 589 00:31:47,725 --> 00:31:50,565 Speaker 5: But we don't want to assume that we know what 590 00:31:50,605 --> 00:31:54,885 Speaker 5: that person wants or needs right ask them, ask them 591 00:31:54,885 --> 00:31:57,725 Speaker 5: if there's anything that they know that's helpful for them 592 00:31:57,725 --> 00:32:01,205 Speaker 5: in these moments. They might be able to say to you, yeah, 593 00:32:01,285 --> 00:32:03,565 Speaker 5: you know what, I just need you to talk to 594 00:32:03,605 --> 00:32:05,805 Speaker 5: me about something else. Just distract me, tell me what 595 00:32:05,845 --> 00:32:07,965 Speaker 5: you've been watching on TV lately, Like, let's just have 596 00:32:08,005 --> 00:32:10,245 Speaker 5: a conversation about something else to get me through this. 597 00:32:10,885 --> 00:32:14,725 Speaker 5: So people are often well resourced at knowing what they need, 598 00:32:14,765 --> 00:32:16,605 Speaker 5: and that's where we can jump in and help give 599 00:32:16,605 --> 00:32:21,125 Speaker 5: that to them. If, however, someone doesn't know what they 600 00:32:21,165 --> 00:32:23,685 Speaker 5: need in that moment, if we ask them and they're 601 00:32:23,685 --> 00:32:27,205 Speaker 5: not able to tell us, that's where we can offer 602 00:32:27,565 --> 00:32:32,045 Speaker 5: some suggestions and some solutions. And sometimes the simplest one 603 00:32:32,125 --> 00:32:35,285 Speaker 5: is actually us helping someone get out of the space 604 00:32:35,285 --> 00:32:38,605 Speaker 5: that they're in and just going outside taking a break, 605 00:32:38,765 --> 00:32:41,965 Speaker 5: grabbing a cup of coffee, moving, moving the body, and 606 00:32:42,045 --> 00:32:45,485 Speaker 5: moving out of their physical surroundings and space in that moment. 607 00:32:45,965 --> 00:32:49,085 Speaker 1: Okay, Anastasia, Because I'm someone that is always about having 608 00:32:49,085 --> 00:32:51,645 Speaker 1: a growth by set. Next time I'm going to woolies 609 00:32:51,725 --> 00:32:54,405 Speaker 1: or calls, I've got to go into the freezer aisle, 610 00:32:54,845 --> 00:32:58,485 Speaker 1: grab those frozen peas and stuck up by freezer just 611 00:32:58,525 --> 00:32:58,765 Speaker 1: for you. 612 00:32:59,405 --> 00:33:00,925 Speaker 2: I'll report back on how it goes. 613 00:33:06,645 --> 00:33:09,605 Speaker 1: After this short break, Anastasia is going to solve the 614 00:33:09,645 --> 00:33:13,245 Speaker 1: personal problem that one of you, our listeners sent us. 615 00:33:13,485 --> 00:33:17,765 Speaker 2: Stay with us, Berb Hereb, Bierb. 616 00:33:18,085 --> 00:33:20,205 Speaker 3: I'm having a serious crisis. 617 00:33:20,365 --> 00:33:22,565 Speaker 5: BRB having a crisis. 618 00:33:23,045 --> 00:33:23,405 Speaker 2: Okay. 619 00:33:23,525 --> 00:33:26,285 Speaker 1: I am really excited to debut this segment, which will 620 00:33:26,325 --> 00:33:29,645 Speaker 1: be bringing you in every episode of But are you happy? 621 00:33:30,005 --> 00:33:32,805 Speaker 1: This is where we respond to the dilemmas or questions 622 00:33:32,845 --> 00:33:36,525 Speaker 1: that you our listeners, have sent us, and Anastasia will 623 00:33:36,565 --> 00:33:40,125 Speaker 1: provide her best advice. Our first dilemma comes from Sydney. 624 00:33:40,805 --> 00:33:43,165 Speaker 4: So I'm in my late twenties and I feel like 625 00:33:43,245 --> 00:33:46,405 Speaker 4: every conversation I have with my friends lately is honestly 626 00:33:46,645 --> 00:33:49,285 Speaker 4: such a drainer, because all they ever want to talk 627 00:33:49,325 --> 00:33:51,285 Speaker 4: about is whether or not they're going to buy property, 628 00:33:51,965 --> 00:33:54,965 Speaker 4: whether or not to pro create, or whether or not 629 00:33:55,005 --> 00:33:57,765 Speaker 4: to get married, And honestly, I just don't really care 630 00:33:57,805 --> 00:34:00,885 Speaker 4: about any of those things. But for whatever reason, there's 631 00:34:00,885 --> 00:34:02,725 Speaker 4: still this weird pressure when you get to your late 632 00:34:02,725 --> 00:34:05,405 Speaker 4: twenties where you feel like you're in the paniciars, and 633 00:34:05,445 --> 00:34:07,285 Speaker 4: you do need to make all of these big decisions 634 00:34:07,325 --> 00:34:09,365 Speaker 4: that are going to set you up for like the next. 635 00:34:09,205 --> 00:34:10,485 Speaker 5: Time ten years or more. 636 00:34:10,565 --> 00:34:12,965 Speaker 4: Maybe what can I do to feel like I can 637 00:34:13,005 --> 00:34:15,165 Speaker 4: live the fun life that I want to live, but 638 00:34:15,285 --> 00:34:17,125 Speaker 4: also set myself up the future. 639 00:34:16,805 --> 00:34:19,685 Speaker 5: And not feel stressed about what's around the corner. You 640 00:34:20,005 --> 00:34:23,885 Speaker 5: are not alone in this. I've heard many people share 641 00:34:24,045 --> 00:34:27,085 Speaker 5: similar stories about things that they're worrying about. This idea 642 00:34:27,125 --> 00:34:29,965 Speaker 5: of how do I have the life I want now? 643 00:34:30,045 --> 00:34:31,405 Speaker 5: How do I have the fun that I want now 644 00:34:31,445 --> 00:34:33,765 Speaker 5: and set myself up for the future as well? And 645 00:34:34,045 --> 00:34:37,245 Speaker 5: I wish I could waive the magic wand and give 646 00:34:37,285 --> 00:34:43,165 Speaker 5: a really short, simple solution to this, but unfortunately it's 647 00:34:43,205 --> 00:34:47,645 Speaker 5: not that simple. It's all about balance, right, and as humans, 648 00:34:47,685 --> 00:34:50,565 Speaker 5: we have a tendency to want to find a single 649 00:34:50,685 --> 00:34:54,165 Speaker 5: answer to a problem. But in reality, I don't think 650 00:34:54,205 --> 00:34:58,325 Speaker 5: there is a simple answer here. Life is complex. We 651 00:34:58,485 --> 00:35:01,805 Speaker 5: are complex, and so it's always about how do we 652 00:35:01,885 --> 00:35:05,605 Speaker 5: find balance between the fun and the enjoyment in the 653 00:35:05,645 --> 00:35:09,725 Speaker 5: short term with balancing those long term goals that we 654 00:35:09,805 --> 00:35:14,925 Speaker 5: might have. Now, if you're worried about making decisions that 655 00:35:14,965 --> 00:35:18,525 Speaker 5: you might regret in the future, I'd encourage you to 656 00:35:18,645 --> 00:35:23,645 Speaker 5: reflect on what your values are. So we all have values, 657 00:35:25,005 --> 00:35:26,805 Speaker 5: we might not always be aware of them, so it's 658 00:35:26,845 --> 00:35:29,725 Speaker 5: important to take some time out to actually reflect on 659 00:35:29,845 --> 00:35:33,605 Speaker 5: what our values are. But essentially, values are the things 660 00:35:33,645 --> 00:35:36,645 Speaker 5: that are most important to us in life. We can 661 00:35:36,725 --> 00:35:40,525 Speaker 5: think of them as like a compass, a compass that 662 00:35:40,605 --> 00:35:43,925 Speaker 5: directs us down a particular path in life, and from 663 00:35:44,285 --> 00:35:48,165 Speaker 5: those values we can set goals and tasks and activities 664 00:35:48,205 --> 00:35:52,005 Speaker 5: for ourselves that feel really meaningful and values aligned. The 665 00:35:52,045 --> 00:35:55,965 Speaker 5: research tells us that when people live their life in 666 00:35:56,005 --> 00:36:00,645 Speaker 5: alignment with their values, they have greater overall life satisfaction 667 00:36:00,885 --> 00:36:04,205 Speaker 5: and contentment. So being able to reflect on those values 668 00:36:04,245 --> 00:36:06,485 Speaker 5: can be a really key part of helping us make 669 00:36:06,525 --> 00:36:09,685 Speaker 5: decisions for ourselves. And having that clarity around value can 670 00:36:09,725 --> 00:36:12,765 Speaker 5: help us with making decisions about some of these things 671 00:36:12,805 --> 00:36:14,645 Speaker 5: that feel really big in life. You know, should I 672 00:36:14,645 --> 00:36:16,405 Speaker 5: have kids, should I buy a house, what should I 673 00:36:16,445 --> 00:36:20,045 Speaker 5: be planning for in my thirties, etc. Having a knowledge 674 00:36:20,045 --> 00:36:23,085 Speaker 5: of our values can help us make those decisions that 675 00:36:23,125 --> 00:36:28,005 Speaker 5: can sometimes feel really overwhelming, and also help us reflect 676 00:36:28,045 --> 00:36:32,365 Speaker 5: on are those values my own or I think what 677 00:36:32,445 --> 00:36:35,205 Speaker 5: society has told me, you know, should be important to me, 678 00:36:35,285 --> 00:36:37,645 Speaker 5: because that will influence our decision making as well. Is 679 00:36:37,645 --> 00:36:40,165 Speaker 5: it that society has told me that owning a home, 680 00:36:40,445 --> 00:36:42,245 Speaker 5: or having kids, or being at this point in my 681 00:36:42,325 --> 00:36:45,245 Speaker 5: career should be important to me? Or is that actually 682 00:36:45,245 --> 00:36:46,365 Speaker 5: what my values are? 683 00:36:47,285 --> 00:36:50,685 Speaker 1: I really love it because it's essentially doing your values 684 00:36:50,765 --> 00:36:55,165 Speaker 1: is getting to know yourself even more, which is important And. 685 00:36:55,085 --> 00:36:57,085 Speaker 5: For any of the listeners out there, if you haven't 686 00:36:57,125 --> 00:37:00,565 Speaker 5: ever done this values reflection, have a go, get out 687 00:37:00,565 --> 00:37:02,965 Speaker 5: a pen and a paper, sit down at a desk 688 00:37:03,085 --> 00:37:05,365 Speaker 5: and just write out a list of the things that 689 00:37:05,405 --> 00:37:09,565 Speaker 5: are important to you. Write single words, right, So these 690 00:37:09,565 --> 00:37:16,285 Speaker 5: are things like family, health, adventure, creativity, honesty. Right, So 691 00:37:16,325 --> 00:37:20,805 Speaker 5: there's single words. It's not like I value having a 692 00:37:20,845 --> 00:37:23,005 Speaker 5: coffee in the morning. What is it that the coffee 693 00:37:23,045 --> 00:37:25,365 Speaker 5: in the morning gives me? It's my moment of peace, 694 00:37:25,725 --> 00:37:29,525 Speaker 5: a value piece. I value enjoyment in life, you know, 695 00:37:29,565 --> 00:37:31,525 Speaker 5: what is it that that thing gives me? What's the 696 00:37:31,605 --> 00:37:33,245 Speaker 5: value underneath it? Write them out. 697 00:37:33,405 --> 00:37:35,685 Speaker 1: I really love that process because it's helping us to 698 00:37:35,725 --> 00:37:37,885 Speaker 1: look at, Okay, what are the things that I essentially 699 00:37:38,005 --> 00:37:39,645 Speaker 1: love doing and what are the things that. 700 00:37:39,605 --> 00:37:40,405 Speaker 2: I hate doing? 701 00:37:41,125 --> 00:37:43,965 Speaker 1: And then underneath that is where we'll discover our values. 702 00:37:44,285 --> 00:37:47,365 Speaker 5: Absolutely, And then for any of the listeners who want 703 00:37:47,365 --> 00:37:48,805 Speaker 5: to take it one step further, I'm giving a lot 704 00:37:48,805 --> 00:37:53,405 Speaker 5: of homework here, but reflect on am I actually living 705 00:37:53,445 --> 00:37:56,925 Speaker 5: my life aligned with these values? So, for example, if 706 00:37:56,925 --> 00:37:59,925 Speaker 5: I have the value of creativity, Okay, it's all well 707 00:37:59,925 --> 00:38:02,165 Speaker 5: and good to know that I value creativity, But am 708 00:38:02,245 --> 00:38:06,045 Speaker 5: I doing anything creative in my life? Because having the 709 00:38:06,125 --> 00:38:09,885 Speaker 5: value doesn't necessarily mean that we're living out the value. 710 00:38:10,085 --> 00:38:13,685 Speaker 5: So if you can identify any mismatch, that's a really 711 00:38:13,725 --> 00:38:16,925 Speaker 5: great place where you can make some positive, healthy changes 712 00:38:16,925 --> 00:38:17,445 Speaker 5: for yourself. 713 00:38:18,565 --> 00:38:22,805 Speaker 1: So if we have clarity around our values, would that 714 00:38:22,885 --> 00:38:24,005 Speaker 1: reduce our anxiety? 715 00:38:24,845 --> 00:38:28,285 Speaker 5: It absolutely can. If we know what our values are, 716 00:38:28,925 --> 00:38:33,405 Speaker 5: we feel better equipped to make decisions in life. And 717 00:38:33,445 --> 00:38:36,365 Speaker 5: so often, you know, anxiety can come from that feeling 718 00:38:36,365 --> 00:38:39,845 Speaker 5: of being overwhelmed, like Courtney was, with what she should 719 00:38:39,845 --> 00:38:41,885 Speaker 5: do in life and how she should live life. So 720 00:38:42,325 --> 00:38:46,605 Speaker 5: knowing our values can absolutely help us reduce anxiety and 721 00:38:46,885 --> 00:38:50,605 Speaker 5: feel more kind of satisfaction and contentment in life. 722 00:38:51,285 --> 00:38:53,565 Speaker 2: All right, everyone, let's get into our homework. 723 00:38:53,965 --> 00:39:06,725 Speaker 1: Let's get our values done Atastasia, we have covered a 724 00:39:06,805 --> 00:39:08,765 Speaker 1: lot of ground in today's episode. 725 00:39:09,485 --> 00:39:10,725 Speaker 2: Can you give us a recap? 726 00:39:10,805 --> 00:39:14,805 Speaker 1: We want the post it note on the bathroom mirror reminders, please. 727 00:39:15,005 --> 00:39:20,765 Speaker 5: Absolutely, okay. First up, anxiety serves a necessary function in 728 00:39:20,805 --> 00:39:25,445 Speaker 5: the brain and body. Second, sometimes anxiety can get a 729 00:39:25,445 --> 00:39:29,325 Speaker 5: bit too intense or a situation doesn't warrant us to 730 00:39:29,325 --> 00:39:33,565 Speaker 5: be anxious. Third, if that's the case, we can mentally 731 00:39:33,685 --> 00:39:38,885 Speaker 5: talk ourselves through the situation by challenging those catastrophic thoughts. 732 00:39:39,645 --> 00:39:44,365 Speaker 5: And finally, if it feels too physically overwhelming, soothe yourself 733 00:39:44,445 --> 00:39:47,285 Speaker 5: using the sensors or jump in that cold shower. 734 00:39:48,405 --> 00:39:49,685 Speaker 2: Thank you, Anastasia. 735 00:39:49,805 --> 00:39:52,525 Speaker 1: Guys, Next week we will be tackling the right way 736 00:39:52,565 --> 00:39:55,325 Speaker 1: to say no to people you love and really dig 737 00:39:55,365 --> 00:39:57,925 Speaker 1: into the ways that we can help ourselves deal with 738 00:39:58,045 --> 00:40:02,445 Speaker 1: toxic family dynamics and relationships. In the meantime, if you 739 00:40:02,525 --> 00:40:05,085 Speaker 1: have any burning questions or want to share your story 740 00:40:05,085 --> 00:40:07,205 Speaker 1: with us, please get in contact with us we would 741 00:40:07,245 --> 00:40:09,525 Speaker 1: love to hear from you. There are a few ways 742 00:40:09,565 --> 00:40:12,005 Speaker 1: to get in touch. Follow the links in the show. 743 00:40:11,765 --> 00:40:16,165 Speaker 5: Notes, and remember, while I am a psychologist, this podcast 744 00:40:16,365 --> 00:40:19,325 Speaker 5: isn't a diagnostic tool, and the advice and ideas we 745 00:40:19,445 --> 00:40:24,085 Speaker 5: present here should always take into account your personal medical history. 746 00:40:24,805 --> 00:40:28,525 Speaker 5: The executive producer of But Are You Happy is Naima Brown. 747 00:40:29,085 --> 00:40:31,205 Speaker 2: Tarlie Blackman is our senior producer. 748 00:40:32,085 --> 00:40:34,565 Speaker 5: Sound design and editing by Jacob Brown. 749 00:40:35,045 --> 00:40:37,285 Speaker 2: I'm a Shany Dante, and I'm. 750 00:40:37,125 --> 00:40:41,405 Speaker 5: Doctor Anatheja Haronus. If this conversation brought up any difficult 751 00:40:41,405 --> 00:40:44,525 Speaker 5: feelings for you, we have links for more resources in 752 00:40:44,565 --> 00:40:47,485 Speaker 5: the show notes around the topics we discussed today. You 753 00:40:47,485 --> 00:40:50,845 Speaker 5: can also reach out to organizations like Beyond Blue or 754 00:40:50,925 --> 00:40:53,645 Speaker 5: Lifeline if you're wanting more immediate support. 755 00:40:54,165 --> 00:40:55,085 Speaker 2: Thanks for listening.