WEBVTT - Introducing... Diary Of A Birth 0:00:21.330 --> 0:00:24.330 So much you're listening to Amma Mia podcast. 0:00:25.170 --> 0:00:28.450 Mamma Mia acknowledges the traditional owners of the land. We 0:00:28.530 --> 0:00:31.890 have recorded this podcast on the Gadigul people of the 0:00:31.970 --> 0:00:35.690 Eora Nation. We pay our respects to their elders past 0:00:35.730 --> 0:00:39.370 and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and 0:00:39.410 --> 0:00:41.130 Torres Strait Islander cultures. 0:00:41.370 --> 0:00:45.050 Hey, I'm Georgie ep of Mamma MIA's brand new podcast, 0:00:45.250 --> 0:00:48.370 Diary of a Birth. I'm dropping into your feed today 0:00:48.370 --> 0:00:52.410 to share with you the very first episode. Childbirth is 0:00:52.490 --> 0:00:57.090 absolutely amazing and no two births are the same. Diary 0:00:57.130 --> 0:01:00.730 of a Birth is women sharing their incredible stories. You 0:01:00.850 --> 0:01:04.130 will not believe some of the tales we have for you. 0:01:04.610 --> 0:01:08.730 This first episode features entrepreneur and marketing guru Michelle Battersby. 0:01:09.210 --> 0:01:12.290 I'll give you one little clue, her baby gets stuck. 0:01:12.850 --> 0:01:15.050 We hope you enjoy this title. Make sure you follow 0:01:15.090 --> 0:01:17.370 along Diary of a Birth for more birth stories. 0:01:21.250 --> 0:01:25.370 Hi. I'm Kaseenya Lukisch and this is Diary of a Birth. 0:01:26.010 --> 0:01:28.770 I'm a mom to two kids and both my births 0:01:28.810 --> 0:01:31.810 were very different. Mimi, who is my first There was 0:01:31.850 --> 0:01:34.090 a lot of this fear of the unknown, and she 0:01:34.170 --> 0:01:37.610 ended up coming out with forceps and then with Max. 0:01:37.770 --> 0:01:41.530 I felt more prepared, but still the unexpected happened. He 0:01:41.610 --> 0:01:45.570 came out. Posterior birth is an experience shared by around 0:01:45.650 --> 0:01:48.970 one hundred and forty million women a year, yet this 0:01:49.130 --> 0:01:54.930 common practice can be completely unique and life transforming. This 0:01:55.090 --> 0:01:59.810 is diary of a birth. Today's story is one of 0:01:59.850 --> 0:02:02.050 a mum with a bit of a birth plan and 0:02:02.090 --> 0:02:04.570 a baby with a very different idea. 0:02:05.210 --> 0:02:07.970 I was like, break my waters, I'm not leaving without 0:02:08.010 --> 0:02:10.250 a baby. Like I came here to have a baby, 0:02:10.970 --> 0:02:12.610 I'm leaving with a baby. 0:02:12.770 --> 0:02:15.850 Her birth was long, her baby got stuck, and she 0:02:15.930 --> 0:02:18.330 tried all the options and pivoted to a birth that 0:02:18.450 --> 0:02:20.570 she'd never considered. 0:02:20.770 --> 0:02:22.450 Back when I was pregnant, if I was to write 0:02:22.490 --> 0:02:24.170 down on a piece of paper how I don't want 0:02:24.170 --> 0:02:26.810 it to go, I probably would have written, I don't 0:02:26.810 --> 0:02:30.650 want to go into labor and then have a C section. A. 0:02:30.770 --> 0:02:32.970 You won't believe where this story's going to take us. 0:02:33.570 --> 0:02:38.370 Mine just gushed and there was so much fluid, and 0:02:38.410 --> 0:02:40.930 the only thing I could compare it to is the 0:02:40.970 --> 0:02:43.370 only thing you felt come out of your vagina with 0:02:43.650 --> 0:02:47.890 a bit of force is your period And so you think, 0:02:48.010 --> 0:02:49.210 oh my god, am I head bleeding? 0:02:49.330 --> 0:02:50.250 Am I bleeding to death? 0:02:50.410 --> 0:02:53.570 Because it's just this gush of fluid coming out of there. 0:02:53.930 --> 0:02:55.570 Then you realize you're sitting in a pool. 0:02:55.970 --> 0:02:58.890 Plus we'll be getting expert input from one of Australia's 0:02:58.890 --> 0:03:01.290 most trusted pediatricians, doctor Gollie. 0:03:01.530 --> 0:03:03.930 You know, this is a dance. It's a balance that 0:03:03.970 --> 0:03:08.250 we strike between making sure that mummy is safe and 0:03:08.290 --> 0:03:11.570 then also at the same time balancing that with making 0:03:11.650 --> 0:03:14.930 sure the baby is safe. And when a baby does 0:03:14.970 --> 0:03:17.890 get stuck, we have options available to us to try 0:03:17.930 --> 0:03:20.610 to improve that delivery process. 0:03:21.050 --> 0:03:23.810 So let's meet the mom telling today's birth story. 0:03:24.370 --> 0:03:27.290 I'm Michelle Battersby and this is the diary of my 0:03:27.410 --> 0:03:28.450 birth with Alphie. 0:03:31.210 --> 0:03:35.370 Michelle Badtersby is one of Australia's most exciting entrepreneurs. She 0:03:35.490 --> 0:03:38.970 launched Bumble in this country and is founder of Sunroom, 0:03:39.330 --> 0:03:43.410 a company the champions female and non binary content creators. 0:03:43.650 --> 0:03:46.650 So I have been living in the US, living in 0:03:46.810 --> 0:03:51.170 LA for the past four years with my fiance Bill. 0:03:51.530 --> 0:03:56.330 Bill is a professional rugby player. So when we first met, 0:03:56.850 --> 0:03:59.650 he was actually living in the UK and he came 0:03:59.690 --> 0:04:03.610 over to Australia to sign a new rugby contract and 0:04:03.650 --> 0:04:06.250 I just happened to meet him and we hung out 0:04:06.250 --> 0:04:07.690 for probably four weeks. 0:04:08.330 --> 0:04:09.890 Went to lunch one day and. 0:04:09.810 --> 0:04:13.410 He said, so, I'm moving to Perth on Sunday, and 0:04:13.450 --> 0:04:14.290 I thought. 0:04:14.210 --> 0:04:17.650 Okay, guess that's the end of this. That was fun, 0:04:17.730 --> 0:04:18.330 see you later. 0:04:18.970 --> 0:04:22.050 But the thing with a long distance relationship is you 0:04:22.170 --> 0:04:24.930 really have to cut the shit and there's no game playing, 0:04:25.050 --> 0:04:26.770 and it just meant we both had to be quite 0:04:26.850 --> 0:04:29.330 upfront about the fact that we liked each other, and 0:04:29.530 --> 0:04:32.250 it was always long distance. At first it was Sydney 0:04:32.290 --> 0:04:35.770 to Perth, then it was Sydney to Melbourne for two years, 0:04:35.970 --> 0:04:40.810 then it was Melbourne to London. Then it was Sydney 0:04:40.850 --> 0:04:45.890 to LA and so he'd moved to LA and I thought, okay, 0:04:45.890 --> 0:04:47.970 this is just another couple of years we'll have to 0:04:48.010 --> 0:04:52.370 do long distance. But as things turned out, a job 0:04:52.410 --> 0:04:56.490 opportunity came up for me to start my own company, 0:04:56.650 --> 0:04:58.130 and the woman I was going to do it with 0:04:58.330 --> 0:05:00.210 was like, how would you feel about doing this in 0:05:00.370 --> 0:05:02.250 LA And I thought that's absolutely perfect. 0:05:02.370 --> 0:05:03.770 So it felt like for the. 0:05:03.730 --> 0:05:07.610 First time stars were aligning, and so Bill and I 0:05:07.690 --> 0:05:10.810 were then both living in LA. We've been together now 0:05:11.050 --> 0:05:16.050 for about eight years, but long distance came back to 0:05:16.130 --> 0:05:21.730 haunt us. Basically, at the moment I fell pregnant, Bill 0:05:22.050 --> 0:05:24.930 signed with the team in Chicago, we knew it would 0:05:24.970 --> 0:05:27.610 be difficult that I would be alone for the end 0:05:27.650 --> 0:05:29.850 of my pregnancy, that I would be alone for the 0:05:29.890 --> 0:05:32.490 first few months of motherhood. 0:05:32.850 --> 0:05:37.290 Michelle is a woman who gets shit done at the office, 0:05:37.610 --> 0:05:40.770 but going into her birth, she was determined to go 0:05:40.850 --> 0:05:41.410 with the flow. 0:05:42.050 --> 0:05:47.410 So going into this birth, I was feeling confident. I 0:05:47.650 --> 0:05:51.010 was thinking, I think I've got this. This is going 0:05:51.090 --> 0:05:53.770 to be a breeze. I was doing a lot of 0:05:54.170 --> 0:05:58.250 positive self talk, almost preparing like I'm going in for 0:05:58.330 --> 0:06:02.970 some big athletic event or race that, you know, telling 0:06:02.970 --> 0:06:04.850 myself I've done it before, I can do it again, 0:06:05.010 --> 0:06:08.210 to just really put my mind at ease. And I 0:06:08.290 --> 0:06:12.850 had been having regular checkups with my obstetrician and things 0:06:12.850 --> 0:06:16.690 were starting to move on their own. So I was thinking, good, 0:06:16.770 --> 0:06:19.330 you know, I'm not going to go over I think 0:06:19.490 --> 0:06:20.050 he's ready. 0:06:20.130 --> 0:06:21.050 I'm feeling ready. 0:06:21.450 --> 0:06:23.370 So while Michelle was happy for her baby to do 0:06:23.410 --> 0:06:25.970 his thing, she thought she had when he would grace 0:06:26.010 --> 0:06:27.170 them with his presence. 0:06:27.370 --> 0:06:32.210 Sorted from about halfway through my pregnancy, around twenty weeks 0:06:32.250 --> 0:06:36.090 I would have been My partner left the state and 0:06:36.450 --> 0:06:40.410 we were doing long distance for our careers, so I 0:06:40.570 --> 0:06:42.770 had always known that was going to happen, So I 0:06:42.930 --> 0:06:46.010 had been doing quite a lot of prep mentally, to 0:06:46.090 --> 0:06:48.890 be honest, and really focusing on how I was going 0:06:48.970 --> 0:06:52.090 to survive the tail end of my pregnancy without him, 0:06:52.250 --> 0:06:55.010 but also the first few months of becoming a mum 0:06:55.130 --> 0:06:58.170 without him, because he wasn't going to be returning to 0:06:58.210 --> 0:07:01.450 the same city as me until our soon to be 0:07:01.650 --> 0:07:05.410 son was three months old. So I had been doing 0:07:05.450 --> 0:07:09.090 a lot of focusing on accepting that being okay with 0:07:09.650 --> 0:07:13.850 whatever outcome might happen around the birth. Maybe he would 0:07:13.850 --> 0:07:16.930 make it, maybe he wouldn't. What members of my family 0:07:16.970 --> 0:07:20.170 were going to come and support me through those first 0:07:20.290 --> 0:07:23.490 few periods, so I'd probably had a lot of other 0:07:23.570 --> 0:07:28.490 little things on my mind than just the birth. But 0:07:28.530 --> 0:07:31.890 I was feeling really confident because I would have been 0:07:31.930 --> 0:07:35.770 around thirty six weeks when my obstetrician said she just 0:07:35.810 --> 0:07:37.890 didn't think I was going to make it to forty weeks. 0:07:37.930 --> 0:07:39.130 My cervix was. 0:07:39.050 --> 0:07:42.850 Already softening, so I was thinking, hell, yeah, that's good. 0:07:43.010 --> 0:07:45.730 That made things a little easier for my partner to 0:07:45.770 --> 0:07:48.970 get back to the same city as me. And as 0:07:49.050 --> 0:07:52.610 things kept getting closer to forty weeks, I was probably 0:07:52.650 --> 0:07:56.250 about thirty seven weeks, maybe thirty seven thirty eight, I 0:07:56.410 --> 0:07:59.370 was a centimeter dilated, and so that's when my confidence 0:07:59.370 --> 0:08:01.730 really started to kick up a notch. I was thinking, great, 0:08:01.850 --> 0:08:04.930 you know, this could happen any day. It's going to 0:08:04.970 --> 0:08:08.410 be smooth sailing. The baby's moving, I'm moving, It's all good. 0:08:08.490 --> 0:08:10.970 And my obstetrician said I was looking like a good 0:08:11.010 --> 0:08:14.730 candidate for induction. So I spoke to my partner and 0:08:14.770 --> 0:08:17.730 we decided that I would get induced because that would 0:08:17.770 --> 0:08:20.010 just mean and he could jump on a flight and 0:08:20.130 --> 0:08:21.610 be there for the birth. 0:08:22.210 --> 0:08:25.450 Michelle had researched inductions and thought she had a pretty 0:08:25.490 --> 0:08:28.770 good idea about what would happen once she was induced, 0:08:28.970 --> 0:08:31.370 but of course her body had a different plan. 0:08:31.490 --> 0:08:34.130 So what I thought would happen when I got induced 0:08:34.770 --> 0:08:37.370 was I expected I would arrive at the hospital a 0:08:37.370 --> 0:08:39.530 week or so later and they would say, your four 0:08:39.570 --> 0:08:40.690 centimeters dilated. 0:08:40.730 --> 0:08:40.890 You know. 0:08:40.930 --> 0:08:43.770 I just thought things would have started to happen, and. 0:08:43.690 --> 0:08:45.450 I felt like it could be really fast because my 0:08:45.490 --> 0:08:48.290 obstetution was also saying like, I think this is going 0:08:48.330 --> 0:08:50.770 to be fast for you. Your baby's got a really 0:08:50.770 --> 0:08:52.970 big head. Once you get the big head out, they 0:08:53.050 --> 0:08:55.370 just slide on out. So I'm thinking, great, you know 0:08:55.450 --> 0:08:59.050 this is going to be good. But I arrived at 0:08:59.050 --> 0:09:03.090 the hospital and I was still a centimeter dilated, and 0:09:03.210 --> 0:09:07.090 I would say, in hindsight, even just that news was 0:09:07.290 --> 0:09:10.490 just the start of my confidence being a little bit 0:09:10.570 --> 0:09:13.410 rattled and me starting to get a little bit in 0:09:13.490 --> 0:09:16.570 my head around how it was going to play out. 0:09:17.490 --> 0:09:21.730 And I then got given the pill thattens your cervix, 0:09:22.490 --> 0:09:26.530 and from the moment I took the first dose, my 0:09:26.650 --> 0:09:27.290 baby just. 0:09:27.370 --> 0:09:30.210 Really wasn't agreeing with what was going on. 0:09:30.410 --> 0:09:35.530 So his heart rate started dipping quite a lot, and 0:09:36.290 --> 0:09:40.050 it just became a bit of a balancing act around 0:09:40.170 --> 0:09:44.490 how much they could push me and push him without 0:09:44.890 --> 0:09:48.090 becoming a bit more of an emergency situation. I was 0:09:48.130 --> 0:09:50.530 still pretty calm, to be honest, I felt like I 0:09:50.610 --> 0:09:53.130 was in really good hands. I had my mum and 0:09:53.210 --> 0:09:55.930 dad there for the first part. My partner actually flew 0:09:55.970 --> 0:09:58.930 in at like two am that night when I was 0:09:59.010 --> 0:10:01.650 being induced, so I had great people around me. Felt 0:10:01.650 --> 0:10:03.970 like I was in really good hands. I was sitting 0:10:03.970 --> 0:10:07.650 in the hospital playing Monopoly Deal with my parents. I 0:10:07.690 --> 0:10:10.170 also did manage to get through a whole series of 0:10:10.330 --> 0:10:13.810 selling OC. I was chill, I was doing a little 0:10:13.810 --> 0:10:17.610 bit of work, chatting to people. I was calm, like 0:10:17.650 --> 0:10:20.410 I was feeling good, and I felt like, even though 0:10:20.690 --> 0:10:25.170 things were maybe not totally going to plan with my baby, 0:10:25.370 --> 0:10:27.970 people were checking on us. Everything was being monitored, and 0:10:28.050 --> 0:10:31.370 I felt like it was kind of slow and steady. Physically, 0:10:31.450 --> 0:10:34.050 I wasn't feeling anything. I could see on the monitor 0:10:34.170 --> 0:10:36.290 that I was having contractions. They were telling me, you 0:10:36.290 --> 0:10:39.490 know those yellow lines and contractions, and I couldn't feel it. 0:10:39.930 --> 0:10:44.770 I think I'd been having mild contractions honestly for about 0:10:44.850 --> 0:10:47.530 a week, and so it just felt like this tensing 0:10:47.850 --> 0:10:51.170 of my uterus and my stomach would kind of cramp, 0:10:51.330 --> 0:10:53.690 but it wasn't painful at all. 0:10:53.810 --> 0:10:56.530 Michelle's partner, Bill's arrival meant she was keen to put 0:10:56.570 --> 0:10:59.810 down the Monopoly Deal cards and get this labor happening. 0:11:00.090 --> 0:11:03.890 Bill was playing a rugby game. They're not very lenient 0:11:04.250 --> 0:11:08.370 with professional athletes around taking time off, and I do 0:11:08.490 --> 0:11:12.290 get it, like they're paid to play, so he finished 0:11:12.290 --> 0:11:15.250 playing the game, got straight on a flight from Boston 0:11:15.810 --> 0:11:18.890 to LA and got to the hospital at about two 0:11:18.970 --> 0:11:22.490 am or my partner will in. I felt extremely relieved, 0:11:22.730 --> 0:11:25.650 like he's not going to miss the birth. He's here now, 0:11:25.890 --> 0:11:28.970 this is good, this baby can come. And perhaps there 0:11:29.050 --> 0:11:31.610 was a little bit of my body as well, not 0:11:32.050 --> 0:11:37.050 really wanting to relax and like let things happen straight away, 0:11:37.130 --> 0:11:39.450 waiting for my partner to get there. But once he 0:11:39.490 --> 0:11:42.130 walked in, I thought, yeah, let's get this moving. But 0:11:42.850 --> 0:11:46.850 it ended up being the next morning and they weren't 0:11:46.850 --> 0:11:49.250 able to give me any more doses because of what 0:11:49.370 --> 0:11:51.370 was happening with my baby's heart rates. We were just 0:11:51.490 --> 0:11:56.370 letting the clock tick by. It was probably twelve hours later. 0:11:56.650 --> 0:11:59.050 I had my servix checked and I'd got to three 0:11:59.650 --> 0:12:03.210 centimeters dilated. I was hoping, you know, i'd be further 0:12:03.250 --> 0:12:05.770 along than that, and I am an aries. Patience is 0:12:05.810 --> 0:12:09.890 not something that I understand, and I think that's one 0:12:10.050 --> 0:12:12.410 thing I would have liked to bear in mind a 0:12:12.410 --> 0:12:15.170 little bit more going into it, is telling myself you 0:12:15.250 --> 0:12:17.850 might have to be patient here, like don't get worked 0:12:17.890 --> 0:12:19.970 up if things aren't happening quickly. I just hadn't had 0:12:20.050 --> 0:12:22.410 that converse with myself. So I was starting to get 0:12:22.410 --> 0:12:25.530 a bit frustrated with the pace at which things were 0:12:25.570 --> 0:12:28.570 going and just that I couldn't have more doses of 0:12:28.610 --> 0:12:32.170 anything to speed things up after nothing was really happening, 0:12:32.210 --> 0:12:35.090 and I couldn't have more doses. My obstetrician actually came 0:12:35.130 --> 0:12:39.410 in and said, you can either go home or I 0:12:39.450 --> 0:12:41.610 can break your waters. But from the moment I break 0:12:41.610 --> 0:12:43.650 your waters, there's no return. And I was like, break 0:12:43.770 --> 0:12:46.370 my waters. I'm not leaving without a baby, like I 0:12:46.450 --> 0:12:50.050 came here to have a baby. I'm leaving with a baby, 0:12:50.130 --> 0:12:53.570 So break them. And so she broke my waters, and 0:12:53.610 --> 0:12:59.250 that just was the strangest sensation on the planet. Mine 0:12:59.770 --> 0:13:03.610 just gushed and there was so much fluid, And the 0:13:03.610 --> 0:13:06.210 only thing I could compare it to is the only 0:13:06.250 --> 0:13:08.810 thing you felt come out of your vagina with a 0:13:08.850 --> 0:13:12.930 bit of force is your period. And so you think, 0:13:13.050 --> 0:13:15.370 oh my god, am I bleeding to death because it's 0:13:15.410 --> 0:13:18.330 just this gush of fluid coming out of there, and 0:13:18.410 --> 0:13:21.410 you realize you're sitting in a pool. But after she 0:13:21.530 --> 0:13:25.690 broke my waters, I got to five centimeters dilated within 0:13:25.890 --> 0:13:28.770 an hour, and I'm back on track, thinking, fuck, yeah, 0:13:28.890 --> 0:13:31.570 here we go. Now, it's going to be fast. And 0:13:31.770 --> 0:13:35.610 I did start feeling the contractions. Then I think four 0:13:35.690 --> 0:13:40.410 centimeters is you're in active labor. Yeah, So got to 0:13:40.450 --> 0:13:43.690 five centimeters and started thinking, Okay, if this continues at 0:13:43.690 --> 0:13:46.130 this pace, I don't really know how I'm going to 0:13:46.170 --> 0:13:47.690 go with this pain, and I think I just want 0:13:47.730 --> 0:13:51.770 to get an epidural. The pain wasn't excruciating. It wasn't 0:13:51.810 --> 0:13:55.890 like this, oh my god, I can't cope. It was okay, 0:13:56.170 --> 0:13:59.130 that feels different. It felt very different to the other 0:13:59.610 --> 0:14:03.730 contractions I was having, and I could understand how it 0:14:03.810 --> 0:14:08.370 may become quite unbearable. And they do tell you that 0:14:09.130 --> 0:14:12.730 maybe the anethetist isn't going to be available at the 0:14:12.810 --> 0:14:15.450 moment you want the epidural. Maybe it'll take an hour 0:14:15.490 --> 0:14:17.570 for the epidural to kick in. So I thought, I'm 0:14:17.610 --> 0:14:19.010 just going to call it now, and I want to 0:14:19.010 --> 0:14:21.050 get the epidural because if this can news to go 0:14:21.130 --> 0:14:23.610 this quickly, I might be in a bit of strife. 0:14:23.650 --> 0:14:25.930 And I hadn't done any. 0:14:25.730 --> 0:14:30.450 Of the birthing courses, so I hadn't practiced the breathing. 0:14:30.650 --> 0:14:34.730 I had gone in with not much preparation. I'd always 0:14:34.890 --> 0:14:38.650 felt like this isn't really in my control, Like, my 0:14:38.810 --> 0:14:41.130 baby is going to decide how they want to come 0:14:41.170 --> 0:14:43.970 and I just need to facilitate that and try to stay. 0:14:43.810 --> 0:14:44.810 As calm as possible. 0:14:45.210 --> 0:14:47.410 So I'd never gone in there with like and it 0:14:47.490 --> 0:14:50.410 must happen this way. And I think for me that 0:14:50.490 --> 0:14:52.290 was a really good way to go into it because 0:14:52.330 --> 0:14:54.370 I ended up having to really roll with the punches, 0:14:54.410 --> 0:14:58.850 and I wasn't upset or distressed by the way things 0:14:58.930 --> 0:15:01.410 ended up going for me. I was just open minded 0:15:01.410 --> 0:15:04.490 and it was whatever my baby needed. At that point, 0:15:04.530 --> 0:15:08.570 I've probably been in the hospital for like twenty hours 0:15:09.090 --> 0:15:11.490 coming up to a day. The decision to have an 0:15:11.530 --> 0:15:15.370 epidural was something that I had discussed with my partner 0:15:15.530 --> 0:15:17.730 in the sense that I'd told him I'll be having this, 0:15:19.170 --> 0:15:22.970 and Tea was like, and I had spoken to my 0:15:23.010 --> 0:15:25.930 obstetrition about it, just because you hear certain things like 0:15:26.170 --> 0:15:28.970 should you do it, should you not? And my obstetrician said, 0:15:29.450 --> 0:15:31.730 and epi dural is the second best thing about giving birth, 0:15:32.010 --> 0:15:33.970 the first being you get a baby, the second being 0:15:34.010 --> 0:15:37.450 you can get an epidurol. So that was endorsement for 0:15:37.530 --> 0:15:40.490 me and I thought, yeah, I'll be doing this, so 0:15:41.130 --> 0:15:45.010 I wasn't scared to get the epi durol because I've 0:15:45.010 --> 0:15:47.650 actually had lumber puncher in the past, so I've had 0:15:47.810 --> 0:15:51.130 the big needle into your back and I recalled it 0:15:51.130 --> 0:15:53.890 being okay. And I was much younger, so I wasn't 0:15:53.930 --> 0:15:58.090 scared of the needle injection side of things. And I 0:15:58.250 --> 0:16:01.330 honestly didn't feel a thing with the epidural. 0:16:01.410 --> 0:16:02.290 The only thing. 0:16:02.130 --> 0:16:06.130 I felt was a rush of cold come down my 0:16:06.290 --> 0:16:09.970 back and that was it. And I've got videos on 0:16:10.010 --> 0:16:11.730 my phone from the moment that I think kicked in, 0:16:11.890 --> 0:16:13.490 being like, yeah, I feel nothing. 0:16:13.770 --> 0:16:14.730 This is gonna be great. 0:16:15.290 --> 0:16:17.370 My god, this is taking fucking forever. 0:16:18.090 --> 0:16:19.130 Got the epi durolo. 0:16:20.250 --> 0:16:23.690 It's pretty good knowing your body is absolutely throwing them 0:16:23.730 --> 0:16:25.050 back and you can't feel it. 0:16:25.250 --> 0:16:26.930 The every dural was good, and from the moment I 0:16:26.930 --> 0:16:29.570 had that, I thought, Okay, Yeah, these contractions can ramp 0:16:29.690 --> 0:16:33.250 up and I'm gonna be okay here. But I forgot 0:16:33.530 --> 0:16:37.250 that and every dural can slow things down, and so 0:16:37.370 --> 0:16:42.330 my contractions went nowhere and I didn't dilate any further 0:16:42.610 --> 0:16:46.010 for what would have been about ten hours, so it'd 0:16:46.130 --> 0:16:50.050 been over a day in hospital. Now again that frustration 0:16:50.290 --> 0:16:53.890 was coming back, and my lack of patience was. 0:16:53.890 --> 0:16:55.090 Really starting to kick in. 0:16:55.450 --> 0:16:58.330 There had also just been a couple of things said 0:16:58.530 --> 0:17:02.010 along the way which made me lose my confidence again 0:17:02.010 --> 0:17:03.610 and made me lose my head a little bit. So 0:17:04.210 --> 0:17:08.010 my obstecration was amazing. I had some great nurses and 0:17:08.090 --> 0:17:12.170 some great cares, but I had a nurse that was 0:17:12.210 --> 0:17:15.210 a little bit flappy, it is probably the best way 0:17:15.250 --> 0:17:18.490 to describe her. And she would say things like his 0:17:18.610 --> 0:17:21.010 umbilical cord might be tied in a not like as 0:17:21.050 --> 0:17:24.330 to why things weren't moving. She thought he was in 0:17:24.370 --> 0:17:26.570 a weird position in my stomach. So I started saying 0:17:26.610 --> 0:17:29.410 things like is he breach, and my obstetriction would phone 0:17:29.450 --> 0:17:32.490 up and be like, he's absolutely not breach, Like, don't 0:17:32.570 --> 0:17:35.610 say that, and my obstrition actually ended up asking her 0:17:35.610 --> 0:17:38.690 to not look after me anymore. But hearing those little 0:17:38.690 --> 0:17:40.770 things of his umbelic cord might be in a nod, 0:17:41.490 --> 0:17:45.170 he's stuck, he might be breach started making me a 0:17:45.210 --> 0:17:47.490 bit scared to actually give birth. 0:17:48.450 --> 0:17:49.050 Coming up. 0:17:49.570 --> 0:17:54.370 I just violently shook for about three hours, and so 0:17:54.450 --> 0:17:57.690 I couldn't hold him like, I felt a bit helpless. 0:18:02.050 --> 0:18:05.090 So after Michelle had been in hospital for over a day. 0:18:05.330 --> 0:18:07.730 It was time to turn to oxytocin, one of the 0:18:07.770 --> 0:18:11.450 happy hormones like orphins or serotonin. This is an option 0:18:11.570 --> 0:18:16.050 offered synthetically if your waters have broken but contractions don't start. 0:18:16.570 --> 0:18:20.210 So after she broke my waters, I got put on 0:18:20.370 --> 0:18:24.410 like a synthetic version of oxytocin, which brings on contractions, 0:18:25.010 --> 0:18:28.090 and the exact same thing started happening with my baby's 0:18:28.090 --> 0:18:31.970 heart rate, just constantly, his heart rate dropping and a 0:18:32.010 --> 0:18:34.170 lot of people would rush into the room and I 0:18:34.210 --> 0:18:36.930 would have to move positions and they were trying to 0:18:36.970 --> 0:18:40.530 work out why he wasn't comfortable. So again it was 0:18:40.610 --> 0:18:44.530 just this constant game of how far can we push 0:18:45.370 --> 0:18:50.010 this baby without him really becoming distressed. And so after 0:18:50.090 --> 0:18:55.170 about thirty hours of that whole game, and never really 0:18:55.210 --> 0:18:59.130 being able to get a solid dose of much and 0:18:59.250 --> 0:19:01.370 having had a NEPU dural and how being stuck at 0:19:01.370 --> 0:19:05.450 five centimeters for ten hours, I just asked, can I 0:19:05.610 --> 0:19:08.010 please have a C section? I just need this to 0:19:08.130 --> 0:19:11.370 end my obstetrition had been confident the whole way through 0:19:11.410 --> 0:19:14.570 that we could get him out, but I also felt 0:19:14.570 --> 0:19:17.650 like she was starting to think maybe we won't, and 0:19:17.730 --> 0:19:20.570 I just had a feeling that we would keep going 0:19:20.690 --> 0:19:23.810 and keep going. And maybe it was because of the 0:19:23.810 --> 0:19:26.570 things I'd heard along the way from nurses on my 0:19:26.650 --> 0:19:28.850 own doubts, but I just had this feeling. I felt 0:19:28.850 --> 0:19:30.570 like it would end up in a more of an 0:19:30.570 --> 0:19:34.090 emergency cesarean anyway, So I just almost wanted to call 0:19:34.130 --> 0:19:37.210 it on my own terms and like stop him being 0:19:37.290 --> 0:19:40.570 pushed so much in this constant fluctuating of his heart 0:19:40.650 --> 0:19:43.770 rate so called to sea section. 0:19:43.970 --> 0:19:45.010 And I felt. 0:19:44.730 --> 0:19:48.450 Immediate relief in that moment, cride of happiness, was like 0:19:48.570 --> 0:19:51.490 thank God, I just know he's going to get out. 0:19:51.850 --> 0:19:54.890 This is all about to end. I think I was 0:19:54.930 --> 0:19:59.330 feeling like, Yay, maybe this hard work is over. And 0:19:59.370 --> 0:20:01.690 then laying on the table for the sea section, I 0:20:01.810 --> 0:20:04.490 just was thinking, oh fuck, Like there, it really is 0:20:04.650 --> 0:20:08.490 no chill way to navigate this. 0:20:08.490 --> 0:20:11.130 This was a big decision for Michelle, who until this 0:20:11.210 --> 0:20:14.330 point had gone into birth confident of a vaginal delivery. 0:20:15.010 --> 0:20:17.010 When I was lying on the table to have the 0:20:17.010 --> 0:20:22.090 CEA section, I did start to get a little bit scared. 0:20:22.570 --> 0:20:25.970 To be honest, it's a strange situation. I don't know 0:20:25.970 --> 0:20:29.250 if there would be any other surgeries like that that 0:20:29.290 --> 0:20:31.490 you would have and still be awake and conscious and 0:20:31.930 --> 0:20:37.690 hearing them speak and being spoken through it. And I 0:20:37.730 --> 0:20:40.650 could kind of feel my upper body moving around, like 0:20:40.770 --> 0:20:42.610 they tug on you quite a bit and you're like 0:20:42.690 --> 0:20:45.690 kind of jolting. Your upper half is jolting a little bit. 0:20:46.490 --> 0:20:50.130 And I could hear them actually saying pressure, pressure, and 0:20:50.170 --> 0:20:52.450 I'm thinking, oh my god, you know, is this happening? 0:20:52.450 --> 0:20:56.930 What's happening? But I couldn't feel any pain, couldn't see anything. 0:20:56.970 --> 0:20:58.930 I'm literally just looking at the ceiling. I think I 0:20:59.010 --> 0:21:02.490 was actually like counting the lines on the ceiling to 0:21:02.610 --> 0:21:07.250 try and just distract myself and just staring at my partner. 0:21:07.770 --> 0:21:10.490 I couldn't feel any pain, and I didn't feel anything 0:21:10.850 --> 0:21:15.170 relating to the cesarean for probably twenty four hours until 0:21:15.210 --> 0:21:16.810 those drugs started a wear off. 0:21:17.650 --> 0:21:21.090 Michelle's partner Bill proved invaluable at this point, coaching her 0:21:21.090 --> 0:21:23.290 and keeping her as calm as possible. 0:21:24.050 --> 0:21:26.250 My partner was up near me, like trying to keep 0:21:26.290 --> 0:21:28.490 me calm, getting me to breathe because I was also 0:21:28.570 --> 0:21:31.250 so drugged up at that point, just saying like you've 0:21:31.250 --> 0:21:34.410 got this, It's gonna be okay. Breathe, and that's all 0:21:34.450 --> 0:21:37.450 I really needed is to have someone do like he 0:21:37.530 --> 0:21:39.490 was taking deep breaths with me. 0:21:39.610 --> 0:21:40.730 That was the most helpful thing. 0:21:40.970 --> 0:21:43.810 Many women describe the process of a cesarean birth as 0:21:43.850 --> 0:21:47.330