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Speaker 1: Because for me, it's the most rewarding thing I've ever done,

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Speaker 1: but it's not my whole entire self. Even though people

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Speaker 1: tell you that every baby is different, I think I

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Speaker 1: was still surprised that it was going to be different.

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Speaker 2: Welcome to the Seas the Yay Podcast. Busy and happy,

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Speaker 2: but tired and worn, just some of the feelings when

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Speaker 2: baby is born. There's magic, elation, there's chaos and tears,

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Speaker 2: but everyone goes through the same hopes and fears. So

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Speaker 2: this is a segment we hope helps you feel supported

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Speaker 2: and valid. The mum juggles real, the good, bad, the ugly,

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Speaker 2: the best and worst day. It's part of the journey

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Speaker 2: to seize the Babe. I'm Sarah Davidson, a lawyer turned

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Speaker 2: entrepreneur who hung up the suits and heels to co

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Speaker 2: found Macha Maiden and Macha Milk Bar, become a TV

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Speaker 2: and radio presenter, and of course host the Sees the

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Speaker 2: Ya Podcast. This year, I added motherhood to that list,

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Speaker 2: which is the best job I've ever had with our

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Speaker 2: beautiful baby, Teddy, and this segment was designed to house

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Speaker 2: all the conversations we've been having about parenthood. We'll still

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Speaker 2: do our regular episodes, and just like real life, it's

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Speaker 2: a constant balance between our parent identity and everything else.

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Speaker 2: I hope you guys enjoy this segment as much as

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Speaker 2: I have enjoyed creating it. Lovely Yighborhood, I finally have

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Speaker 2: another Sees the Baby episode for you. As I mentioned,

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Speaker 2: they've been a little more sporadic than originally planned, but

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Speaker 2: isn't that just the perfect representation of parenthood generally, and

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Speaker 2: this one in particular is very much worth the wait.

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Speaker 2: You've all definitely heard of the incredible Steph Klesmith or

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Speaker 2: Steph Miller, and if you've been listening to this show

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Speaker 2: for a while, you'll have actually heard her on the show,

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Speaker 2: not once before, not twice before. But this episode makes

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Speaker 2: Steph's third appearance on CZA. I've always said that having

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Speaker 2: a podcast is such a beautiful way to capture who

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Speaker 2: a person is at a particular point in time, and

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Speaker 2: then if we do remain in each other's lives, to

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Speaker 2: be able to look back on those chapters together, and

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Speaker 2: that has definitely been the case with us. We first

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Speaker 2: recorded back in December twenty eighteen, when Steph and Laura

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Speaker 2: had both just gotten gauged. Then we called up four

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Speaker 2: years later in October twenty twenty two, when I was

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Speaker 2: MCing the Kick tour and Steph had just had Harvey

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Speaker 2: and entered the world of motherhood. So it feels like

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Speaker 2: a very special logical progression for her to return this

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Speaker 2: time to the show now that I've joined her in motherhood,

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Speaker 2: but also now that she's made the jump from one

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Speaker 2: to two little ones with Billy arriving just a few

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Speaker 2: months ago. Even more special was the fact that we

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Speaker 2: recorded during her stay at home Postpartum, a sanctuary for

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Speaker 2: postpartum parents and bubbs that was absolutely transformative for me

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Speaker 2: almost a year ago. Now. Some of you may have

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Speaker 2: followed along with that on socials, having been in each

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Speaker 2: other's dms a lot since Teddy was born, sharing lots

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Speaker 2: of highs, lots of lows, and the absolute mess of motherhood.

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Speaker 2: This chat is one that could have gone on for hours,

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Speaker 2: that I enjoyed so much and that I'm so excited

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Speaker 2: to share with you guys. You'll already know that Steph

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Speaker 2: is the co founder of Kick and the app has

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Speaker 2: been such a godsend for me trying to move my

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Speaker 2: body postpardum from wherever I am whenever I can fit

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Speaker 2: it in, and she has so kindly given us a

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Speaker 2: code too, which I'll pop in the show notes and

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Speaker 2: mentioned at the end. We didn't really have a theme

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Speaker 2: or agenda for this one. It just felt like a

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Speaker 2: lovely chat between mates in the trenches and I hope

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Speaker 2: you guys enjoy it as much as I did. Stephie, Hi,

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Speaker 2: welcome back to the show.

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Speaker 1: I'm so glad to chat to you.

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Speaker 2: Oh, it is so nice to have you on. This

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Speaker 2: is so special because I was looking back and our

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Speaker 2: first interview was December twenty eighteen, Oh my god, and

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Speaker 2: you had just gotten engaged. So that was one big

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Speaker 2: life chapter and Kick was very very near you. Then

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Speaker 2: our reunion was five years later, so October twenty twenty two,

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Speaker 2: and we had Harvey and we were on a Kick tour. Yes,

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Speaker 2: I think it was maybe a year or less than

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Speaker 2: a year into the app, the relaunch of the app. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: the relaunch of the app, so another big kind of chapter.

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Speaker 2: And then it's been three years, so I've had these

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Speaker 2: big intervals of like pre motherhood, post your first baby,

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Speaker 2: and now two babies three years after that. So how

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Speaker 2: special is this? That's cool.

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Speaker 1: I didn't even think of that that's awesome.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and I kind of went back and had a

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Speaker 2: little listen to all the different versions of us. And

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Speaker 2: I say it all the time, but it is. This

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Speaker 2: is my favorite thing about having a podcast is you

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Speaker 2: have an audio record of who you were totally at

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Speaker 2: certain points in your life. And that's something that I

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Speaker 2: don't think any generation has really had in such depth anyway,

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Speaker 2: to reflect on how you felt about life and who

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Speaker 2: you were at different times in your life. So it's

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Speaker 2: been a great privilege to have shared these sitty chapters together.

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Speaker 2: Privilege is mine. Nos, awesome. So I guess the first

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Speaker 2: question I have so many particularly around you know, this

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Speaker 2: latest chapter of going from one to two, But if

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Speaker 2: you look back at Stephan December twenty eighteen and then

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Speaker 2: October twenty twenty two, how would you you've changed since then?

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Speaker 2: And if you could say anything to that girl, like,

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Speaker 2: what would you say?

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Speaker 1: Oh, that's such a good question. I think honestly, even

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Speaker 1: with motherhood aside, who I am today is probably more

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Speaker 1: similar to Steph in twenty eighteen than Steph in twenty

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Speaker 1: twenty two. Really, yeah, I think that it was kind

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Speaker 1: of So we launched the kick ap in twenty eighteen,

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Speaker 1: and I had like call it naivity, but just so

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Speaker 1: much confidence in what we were doing and what was happening,

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Speaker 1: and really happy in life. And yeah, I just think

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Speaker 1: that I was really authentically me at that point. And

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Speaker 1: it's not to say that I wasn't in twenty twenty two.

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Speaker 1: But as the business grew and we were also, you know,

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Speaker 1: trying to grow really fast, we were talking to investors,

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Speaker 1: like there was a lot happening kind of between twenty

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Speaker 1: twenty two and three, and so my mind was kind

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Speaker 1: of on other things, and I think I got a

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Speaker 1: little bit lost in who I was, and I became

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Speaker 1: a little bit of a people pleaser, which I've never

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Speaker 1: really been one. I mean, like to a point, I've

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Speaker 1: always wanted to be liked. Yeah, I think we all do,

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Speaker 1: but I wouldn't have ever defined myself as a people pleaser.

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Speaker 1: But there was a phase where I almost felt like

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Speaker 1: maybe I'd made this like somewhat selfish decision to have Harvey,

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Speaker 1: and I still had a community and a business to

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Speaker 1: operate and work on, and a business partner to think of,

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Speaker 1: and so like, you know, that needs to take the

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Speaker 1: back seat for now, as in family. In my mind,

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Speaker 1: I was like I need to somehow unprioritize them at

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Speaker 1: the same time as like wanting to prioritize the bug

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Speaker 1: out of it. Yeah, and just find this balance of

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Speaker 1: working and working really hard and still being present enough

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Speaker 1: at home. I found it so hard to find that balance,

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Speaker 1: and it took a while for me to realize that

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Speaker 1: it's kind of impossible to find a perfect balance, and

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Speaker 1: that there's going to be kind of different seasons and

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Speaker 1: phases that come and go where you can lean more

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Speaker 1: into being present with your family versus work. And that

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Speaker 1: was just a phase where I had to lean into work,

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Speaker 1: and that's fine. And so I think I look back

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Speaker 1: and I don't have any regrets other than I think

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Speaker 1: I could have been a little bit more honest with

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Speaker 1: myself and people around me of what was going on.

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Speaker 1: I think I tried to push through a lot and

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Speaker 1: pretend everything was okay when it wasn't. So yeah, I

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Speaker 1: think that's probably the biggest difference when I think back

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Speaker 1: to those two different versions of me versus now.

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Speaker 2: Wow. I think what's also really interesting is now that

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Speaker 2: I have sort of crossed over to what I call

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Speaker 2: planet parent, because I do now think that what I

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Speaker 2: thought was a level of empathy that was like above average.

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Speaker 2: Because I was one of the last in our immediate

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Speaker 2: friend group to have kids, I thought I knew what

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Speaker 2: everyone was going through, and now I've crossed over. I'm like,

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Speaker 2: I had no fucking idea, Like not even close to

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Speaker 2: one percent empathy. I had as much empathy as I

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Speaker 2: was a table, but it's more like being on a

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Speaker 2: different planet with a different language than what I knew.

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Speaker 2: Looking back at the kick tour and remembering hearing you

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Speaker 2: have conversations about leaving Harvey and you know that balance

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Speaker 2: and thinking I understood what you meant, but realizing that

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Speaker 2: you were surrounded by me, Laura dk Yey, like none

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Speaker 2: of us had kids, and so you would have been

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Speaker 2: going through all of this without you know, like the

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Speaker 2: immediate people that you were working alongside, having not even

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Speaker 2: not only no idea, but no capacity to have an idea. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: that would have been so difficult.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, like it wasn't even who we worked with,

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Speaker 1: like a lot of our friendship group, and we're the

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Speaker 1: first in our family and in our close friendship group.

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Speaker 1: So I mean, I'm really fortunate I was able to

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Speaker 1: connect with people like m you know, embossy, like really

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Speaker 1: early on. So I had my kind of little mother's

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Speaker 1: group and now they're some of my closest friends. But

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Speaker 1: other than that, I didn't know anyone else to talk

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Speaker 1: to and lean on. One of my girlfriends, actually, Hailey.

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Speaker 1: She she's like a sister to me. She was definitely someone,

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Speaker 1: but she lived in New Zealand, so it was just

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Speaker 1: that kind of like distance of you know, I can

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Speaker 1: still obviously message in caller at any time, but yeah,

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Speaker 1: just none of our friends had it.

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Speaker 2: And you're so right with.

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Speaker 1: Thinking that you could fathom what it would be like,

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Speaker 1: or how it must feel when they're sick or anything

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Speaker 1: like that, but you just really nothing can explain it

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Speaker 1: until you're in it. It's really like you can read

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Speaker 1: as many books, I mean even here, and I'm sure

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Speaker 1: we're going to talk about home soon, but even the

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Speaker 1: midwives here have said that until they became among themselves

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Speaker 1: like they had. Obviously midwives are the most like, beautiful,

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Speaker 1: empathetic people ever. What they do is incredible, but like

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Speaker 1: they still had no idea and felt like they were

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Speaker 1: thrown in the deep end, even though they're supposed to

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Speaker 1: be like experts in your space when it was their

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Speaker 1: own experience. Yeah, so it's so true. You just you

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Speaker 1: just don't know until you experienced it, and that's okay.

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Speaker 1: I think for a while there, I not I wouldn't

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Speaker 1: use the word resentment. It always feels a bit too

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Speaker 1: heavy to use the word resentment, But it's kind of

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Speaker 1: the only one that's coming to mind right now towards

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Speaker 1: some friends who I felt like maybe didn't give me

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Speaker 1: the validation that I wanted when I was like venting

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Speaker 1: about something. But now I look back and I'm like,

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Speaker 1: there was they know, they just couldn't know, and that's fine. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: so I think it's it's okay. And I think it

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Speaker 1: doesn't mean you're gonna lose friends. I'm really strong on that, Like,

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Speaker 1: just because you're in different phase of life doesn't mean

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Speaker 1: that your friendship has to be a battle. Like there's

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Speaker 1: always ways to still have your connection and like find

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Speaker 1: your new way of catching up and everything, and whether

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Speaker 1: or not they then have kids down the track or whatever,

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Speaker 1: it's it's a new thing to navigate. Yeah, so yeah,

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Speaker 1: I agree.

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Speaker 2: And I actually think it is really beautiful to have

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Speaker 2: your friends who aren't necessarily in the same chapter as

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Speaker 2: you because they keep that part of your alive, like

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Speaker 2: agreed there, like there could be no bigger chasm between

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Speaker 2: people then Karna and I like my very single gay

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Speaker 2: friend who is you know, maybe wants to have kids

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Speaker 2: one day, but our lifestyles are so far apart. But

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Speaker 2: that difference sometimes is challenging to navigate logistically in terms

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Speaker 2: of touch ups. But it keeps a side of my

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Speaker 2: personality alive that would otherwise die very quickly.

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Speaker 1: I agree.

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Speaker 2: So it's actually kind of nice to have that diversity

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Speaker 2: in your friendship group. You mentioned home, So we are

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Speaker 2: very lucky today to be recording at home postpartum, which

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Speaker 2: is I mean, honestly, I'm like sitting on the plushes

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Speaker 2: carpet on the floor. We're being fed chocolate truffles that

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Speaker 2: have been homemade. Steph is how many days have you

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Speaker 2: been staying now? Three? It is just one of the

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Speaker 2: most special places in the world. I think you guys

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Speaker 2: might remember I came to stay when Teddy was about

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Speaker 2: six months And how has it been? How are you feeling?

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Speaker 1: Insane? It's been so nice and I'm so glad I

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Speaker 1: connected with you before coming in because originally I was

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Speaker 1: going to come with Josh and we were going to

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Speaker 1: kind of use it as our time to connect with Billy,

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Speaker 1: like we were obviously able to with Harvey when he

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Speaker 1: was the only one in our world. So it kind

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Speaker 1: of started with us getting Harvey excited about being on

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Speaker 1: a holiday with his grandparents and getting to go stay

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Speaker 1: with them at the farm, and he was so stoked

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Speaker 1: and loved that. So I didn't even need to mention

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Speaker 1: the fact that we were doing something. But then when

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Speaker 1: I thought about it more I spoke to you about it,

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Speaker 1: I was like, I think I'm actually as much as

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Speaker 1: I'm craving time for Josh and I, which we definitely

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Speaker 1: have now found motivation to actually try organized and organized

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Speaker 1: because it's really hard. I needed time by myself, and

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Speaker 1: so that's what this has given me, and I'm so

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Speaker 1: grateful for it. Like I just feel this state of

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Speaker 1: calm that I don't think I've felt in a while.

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Speaker 1: And it's not to say that my postpartum at home

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Speaker 1: has been traumatic or like bad or in any way,

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Speaker 1: but it's a bit chaotic, Like there's a lot going

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Speaker 1: on at home, our home, and you know, juggling with

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Speaker 1: Harvey and wanting to make sure that he's still getting

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Speaker 1: as much of me, like and not feeling like this

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Speaker 1: baby's just come in and flipped his world and now

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Speaker 1: he never sees his mum, like that was the last

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Speaker 1: thing I wanted him to feel. But juggling that and

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Speaker 1: then there's been some work stuff going on. It's been busy.

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Speaker 1: It's been it's been busy, So I think coming here

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Speaker 1: it's just been like the best excuse to lounge back

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Speaker 1: and have this one on one time with Billy and

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Speaker 1: not feel like there's anything else I need to get done.

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Speaker 1: Like at home, I can have those moments with a

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Speaker 1: but I'm also like, probably should get to that pile

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Speaker 1: of washing that I've been putting off for a week, or

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Speaker 1: like I need to remember to book having into this

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Speaker 1: or do like there's just this never ending list in

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Speaker 1: your head. So it's been really nice to get away

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Speaker 1: and everyone here is so amazing. The food is so nourishing.

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Speaker 1: It's like reinspired me to actually put in a fit.

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Speaker 2: So like, seriously, I didn't think that would be such

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Speaker 2: a highlight, Like I thought the twenty four seven Professional

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Speaker 2: Care was going to be. The food would be so incidental,

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Speaker 2: But having someone cook nourishing food, yeah.

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Speaker 1: You know what it is as well. It's the mental

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Speaker 1: load of thinking what to eight, like the fact that

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Speaker 1: they're just like today you're having Sama patties. I'm like, fabulous, amazing,

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Speaker 1: Like I don't I think I'm such a repeat eater

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Speaker 1: because I just can't we bothered thinking of other things,

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Speaker 1: Like I don't mind cooking, but I'm not, like I'm

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Speaker 1: not one of those people that just like absolutely loves

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Speaker 1: it and so wants to try a new recipes all

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Speaker 1: the time, Like that's just not me. So I ended

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Speaker 1: up having the same breakfast most weeks. We have the

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Speaker 1: same kind of dinners on rotation, just because with the

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Speaker 1: mental load, it's easier when I'm shopping and also when

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Speaker 1: I'm cooking it, I don't have to think as much,

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Speaker 1: whereas here it's like something different all the time, and

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Speaker 1: it's every meal I've like loved and I wouldn't think

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Speaker 1: to make myself. No, I agree, but then I watched

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Speaker 1: them make it, and I'm like I could do this.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it wasn't that difficult. But I even noticed. It's

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Speaker 2: like the constant flow of snacks and they give you

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Speaker 2: water and like you don't even remember to hydrate, like

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Speaker 2: it's my supply had dropped when I came here because

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Speaker 2: I was in that sort of I think a lot

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Speaker 2: of people find the immediate postpartum chapter really difficult. I

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Speaker 2: found that blissful. So I had a big crash almost

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Speaker 2: at four to five months when the novelty wore off,

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Speaker 2: the hormone sort of started to Yeah, I was. I

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Speaker 2: just had like the four to six month regression, and

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Speaker 2: it was I was very depleted when I and so

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Speaker 2: my supply was down. But I also wasn't eating enough

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Speaker 2: because I wasn't like having snacks and like good snacks.

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Speaker 2: I was forever. Yeah, And so I mean, if you

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Speaker 2: guys haven't heard, I think I've spoken about it before

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Speaker 2: and we will have the incredible founder Larissa on but

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Speaker 2: home spelt like womb does feel kind of like going

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Speaker 2: back into the womb. It's where mothers are mothered and

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Speaker 2: mothers don't give themselves permission, like we all spent. Steph

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Speaker 2: and I have a laughing off air about how we

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Speaker 2: you spend your first day here trying to help clean

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Speaker 2: because you feel so guilty about letting anyone, even when

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Speaker 2: they start to unpack your suitcase on the first day,

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Speaker 2: I was like, oh, let me do that.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, even like when they offered to hold I'm like,

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Speaker 1: Billy or are you sure?

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Speaker 2: Yes? That okay?

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Speaker 1: And that's literally what we're here for.

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Speaker 2: Please give us something to do. Well, I'm glad it's

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Speaker 2: been such a beautiful time and yeah, such a privilege

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Speaker 2: to catch you actually here and to share. I mean,

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Speaker 2: it's been beautiful to share so many parts of motherhood

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Speaker 2: with you so far. And I know you have just

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Speaker 2: done an episode this week on kick Bump about sort

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Speaker 2: of the big transition from one to two and how

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Speaker 2: Billy has been so far. But that wasn't five weeks.

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Speaker 2: It's now she's now eight and a half. So we

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Speaker 2: can add some questions or add some perspectives that might

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Speaker 2: have changed since then. But I guess my big first

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Speaker 2: question for you, so Harvey's four yep, Billy's eight and

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Speaker 2: a half weeks, what were the things you consciously wanted

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Speaker 2: to do differently? So we'll talk about like what ended

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Speaker 2: up surprising you that was different, But what did you

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Speaker 2: decide before you went into this that you want to show

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Speaker 2: differently from last time?

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Speaker 1: I think I wanted to be more laid back on

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Speaker 1: sleep routine, Like we're not at the stage of like

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Speaker 1: sleep training yet obviously she's in the eight weeks, but

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Speaker 1: just mentally thinking ahead, I know I want to do

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Speaker 1: a different technique when it does come to that. If

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Speaker 1: it comes to that, I think, just like, if I'm

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Speaker 1: being honest with myself, what we kind of went through

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Speaker 1: with Halves was pretty much like it was pretty close

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Speaker 1: to the cryod out method and like it worked, which

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Speaker 1: is probably the worst part. But I mean, like it

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Speaker 1: works to an extent, but I didn't feel natural to

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Speaker 1: me in the moment, and I questioned it in the moment,

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Speaker 1: and I wish I trusted my instincts more because I

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Speaker 1: think I would do it a little differently now. Like

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Speaker 1: there's I mean, there's so many when we talk about

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Speaker 1: cryed out or sleep training, like there's so many different

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Speaker 1: techniques within that range, and like I know, people it's

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Speaker 1: very polarizing what people think about sleep training in general.

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Speaker 1: But you know, I was returning to work and not sleeping,

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Speaker 1: and that was like I needed to get on top

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Speaker 1: of it. I needed to do something. My mental health

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Speaker 1: is like plummeting because of it, and so that's important

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Speaker 1: to acknowledge. I think when we're talking about things like

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Speaker 1: sleep training, I don't think any mum just like does

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Speaker 1: it because they want their kid to be like a

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Speaker 1: robot and like whatever, it's because you're literally clutching.

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Speaker 2: And it's out of desperation. Exactly. If we all start

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Speaker 2: anti sleep training, everyone begins there. It's just that necessity

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Speaker 2: pushes you further and further along the spectrum.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and you know, whatever technique you end up going

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Speaker 1: with and whatever works with your families, like each their own.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, I do kind of reflect on that, and

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Speaker 1: I'm like, I think we've just approached a little bit differently,

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Speaker 1: and even it's quite funny. There's an app called Huckleberry

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Speaker 1: that was.

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Speaker 2: One of my next questions and tracking.

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Speaker 1: Yes, so I tracked with Harvey from I think it

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Speaker 1: was like six weeks or so. We had a maternal

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Speaker 1: health check up and she asked me how much he

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Speaker 1: was sleeping in the day or how long his awake

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Speaker 1: windows were, and I was like, I don't fucking know, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: how would I know? Like sometimes he sleeps a ten minutes,

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Speaker 1: sometimes three hours, Like I have no idea, And she's like, okay, well,

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Speaker 1: now's a really good time where you can start just

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Speaker 1: like keeping an idea on that or keeping an eye

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Speaker 1: on the awake time, because sometimes like the best way

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Speaker 1: to get over fussying is just like making sure they're

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Speaker 1: not overtired. So I like learned a lot in that session.

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Speaker 1: But what it meant was I then jumped into Huckleberry

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Speaker 1: and became utterly obsessed with tracking, like to the minute.

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Speaker 1: Like if i'd like forgot to stop the time, I'd

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Speaker 1: wind it back three minutes because I thought that that

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Speaker 1: was really important to be accurate.

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Speaker 2: Right. I definitely started there too, seriously so hard to

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Speaker 2: let go of.

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Speaker 1: It's really hard, right, And so I had that and

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Speaker 1: I actually reckon I tracked, So the start I was

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Speaker 1: tracking everything from like poo's to obviously medication. That's probably

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Speaker 1: my favorite part of the app was that you could

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Speaker 1: track medication and your partner can like see as well,

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Speaker 1: so you don't need to necessarily like forget to write

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Speaker 1: something down or tell them that they already had a

401
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Speaker 1: panet all. They could just check the app and see

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Speaker 1: that it happened. So I do like that about it.

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Speaker 1: But it was mainly for sleep, and I kept using

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Speaker 1: it for sleep. Honestly, I think he was almost one,

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Speaker 1: and as soon as we had Billy, I was like,

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Speaker 1: I don't want to do that again, Like that was

407
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Speaker 1: too much, Like I let it rule my life, like

408
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Speaker 1: looking at his awake windows and like calculating how much

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Speaker 1: day sleep he had versus night sleep and all that.

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Speaker 1: I was obsessed, And so I didn't think I was

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Speaker 1: going to download it again. But what happened was with

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Speaker 1: the juggle of two of them, I once again was

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Speaker 1: not watching her awake windows or napping or whatever. And

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Speaker 1: also she was really unsettled because of the dairy intolerance

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Speaker 1: that came up, So it could have been that, to

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Speaker 1: be honest, but because she was so unsettled, I was like, fuck,

417
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Speaker 1: have I even't been like she even been napping much?

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Speaker 1: He generally don't even know. I don't know how much

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Speaker 1: she's been there.

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Speaker 2: How many days have we been awaken a rocky exactly?

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Speaker 1: And so I decided to download it again, just thinking

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Speaker 1: in my head like I'll just do it so that

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Speaker 1: I can while my head is in another world, I

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Speaker 1: can still kind of somewhat no, if she's going to

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Speaker 1: be hungry or not, like if she's fussying, it's like no, no,

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Speaker 1: she ate twenty minutes ago. It's non feed or whatever.

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Speaker 1: So I was using it and then it was funny

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Speaker 1: because when I was coming in here and they give

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Speaker 1: you that kind of pre call and talk about how

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Speaker 1: you've been and all that sort of stuff, I mentioned

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Speaker 1: that I was using the app, and they're like, do

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Speaker 1: you want to keep using it? I was like, no,

433
00:20:50,080 --> 00:20:52,960
Speaker 1: it don't me because I can already feel myself getting

434
00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:55,760
Speaker 1: there and so for the last twenty hours. So I

435
00:20:55,800 --> 00:20:57,679
Speaker 1: did use it at the start of being here, but

436
00:20:57,720 --> 00:20:59,560
Speaker 1: for the last like twenty hours, I've just stopped tracking

437
00:20:59,600 --> 00:21:03,679
Speaker 1: it and it's already felt good, nicer. Yeah, So I think, like,

438
00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:06,080
Speaker 1: I think there's a place for it. Yeah, I think

439
00:21:06,240 --> 00:21:08,720
Speaker 1: like it genuinely for feeling really really lost and you're

440
00:21:08,720 --> 00:21:10,960
Speaker 1: wanting something to kind of keep an eye on things

441
00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:12,840
Speaker 1: for you. I think it's good. But I think the

442
00:21:12,920 --> 00:21:15,520
Speaker 1: moment you start to feel like you need to wind

443
00:21:15,560 --> 00:21:20,479
Speaker 1: bat two minutes, like maybe you know, just put it

444
00:21:20,520 --> 00:21:23,240
Speaker 1: down and trust your instincts a bit more. I think

445
00:21:23,280 --> 00:21:25,400
Speaker 1: that was the thing that surprised me was I was like,

446
00:21:25,640 --> 00:21:26,879
Speaker 1: I didn't think I was going to need it. I

447
00:21:26,880 --> 00:21:29,440
Speaker 1: thought i'd be like so in tune with her straight up.

448
00:21:29,760 --> 00:21:31,359
Speaker 1: But that's taking time, and that's okay.

449
00:21:31,480 --> 00:21:33,440
Speaker 2: I kind of think this could be a little unhinged.

450
00:21:33,600 --> 00:21:36,720
Speaker 2: But I kind of think mum's going through the tracking

451
00:21:36,720 --> 00:21:41,360
Speaker 2: obsession cycle is a little bit like teenage ass going

452
00:21:41,359 --> 00:21:42,480
Speaker 2: through my fitness.

453
00:21:42,080 --> 00:21:45,080
Speaker 1: Pal Oh my god. Yeah, kind of like you know.

454
00:21:45,200 --> 00:21:47,159
Speaker 2: You just go, you go, Okay, this is really useful

455
00:21:47,200 --> 00:21:49,560
Speaker 2: and informative and educational, and then you go, oh, I

456
00:21:49,600 --> 00:21:51,560
Speaker 2: can't put it down, and then you go, yeah, I

457
00:21:51,840 --> 00:21:53,439
Speaker 2: really need to let this go, and then you have

458
00:21:53,480 --> 00:21:56,040
Speaker 2: to slowly phase it out. Yeap, it's so true, which

459
00:21:56,080 --> 00:21:59,760
Speaker 2: is kind of a weird way to code our twenties

460
00:21:59,760 --> 00:22:02,000
Speaker 2: in this, but I think, yeah, well, as soon as

461
00:22:02,040 --> 00:22:04,080
Speaker 2: you start to feel obsessive, which I definitely went through

462
00:22:04,080 --> 00:22:06,479
Speaker 2: that phase with data, it can start to rule your

463
00:22:06,520 --> 00:22:11,280
Speaker 2: life what's been surprisingly easier and what's been surprisingly harder,

464
00:22:11,520 --> 00:22:14,159
Speaker 2: or just any other kind of like big surprises this

465
00:22:14,240 --> 00:22:14,880
Speaker 2: time around.

466
00:22:15,119 --> 00:22:18,240
Speaker 1: I think even though people tell you that every baby's different,

467
00:22:18,400 --> 00:22:20,399
Speaker 1: I think I was still surprised, yeah, that it was

468
00:22:20,440 --> 00:22:22,120
Speaker 1: going to be different. I think I went into it

469
00:22:22,440 --> 00:22:24,879
Speaker 1: with a lot of confidence knowing that kind of, like

470
00:22:24,920 --> 00:22:28,040
Speaker 1: you said, the early postpartum stage I actually enjoyed with Harvey,

471
00:22:28,440 --> 00:22:31,159
Speaker 1: and so I kind of went into this stage thinking like,

472
00:22:31,280 --> 00:22:32,080
Speaker 1: this is going to be.

473
00:22:32,200 --> 00:22:36,000
Speaker 3: Blueliss yeah, and to float on the.

474
00:22:36,040 --> 00:22:39,439
Speaker 1: Right now exactly the moment she didn't take the dummy,

475
00:22:39,520 --> 00:22:41,919
Speaker 1: I was like, cool, cool, cool, that's different. And then

476
00:22:41,960 --> 00:22:43,760
Speaker 1: she also didn't take the bottle, and I was like,

477
00:22:43,840 --> 00:22:46,720
Speaker 1: all right, well we still got time. That's fine because

478
00:22:46,760 --> 00:22:49,000
Speaker 1: Harvey was very easy with both of those things. And

479
00:22:49,040 --> 00:22:51,719
Speaker 1: then then we found out yeah, five weeks, which I'm

480
00:22:51,760 --> 00:22:55,320
Speaker 1: glad I had Hervey to compare her to. Yeah, because

481
00:22:55,400 --> 00:22:59,359
Speaker 1: at about five weeks, after about three weeks of seeing

482
00:22:59,400 --> 00:23:02,880
Speaker 1: her so so unsettled, I was like, no, no, no,

483
00:23:02,920 --> 00:23:05,840
Speaker 1: something has to be up. At first, when she was fussy,

484
00:23:05,920 --> 00:23:08,000
Speaker 1: I just thought to myself, like, well, they say every

485
00:23:08,000 --> 00:23:10,199
Speaker 1: baby's different. Maybe she's just more fussy than Harvey is.

486
00:23:10,440 --> 00:23:11,840
Speaker 1: She just needs to be on me all the time.

487
00:23:11,920 --> 00:23:14,840
Speaker 1: Because with Harvey, you know, there's like cocuna baby nests

488
00:23:15,000 --> 00:23:17,439
Speaker 1: and everything. I could put him on that, give him

489
00:23:17,440 --> 00:23:19,959
Speaker 1: a dummy, and like within ten minutes he was asleep,

490
00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:23,359
Speaker 1: and then he'd sleep like almost a whole nap, just

491
00:23:23,480 --> 00:23:25,359
Speaker 1: there on the middle of the dining table with lights

492
00:23:25,400 --> 00:23:27,880
Speaker 1: on and whatever. He was very easy in the early

493
00:23:27,960 --> 00:23:33,080
Speaker 1: early stages, whereas Billy was only napping. Contact had to

494
00:23:33,080 --> 00:23:35,359
Speaker 1: be upright, like all these things and yeah, I think

495
00:23:35,359 --> 00:23:39,080
Speaker 1: it was between three and five weeks where her symptoms

496
00:23:39,080 --> 00:23:41,320
Speaker 1: from the dairy stuff like really flared up. And to

497
00:23:41,359 --> 00:23:44,159
Speaker 1: be fair, I was eating a lot of dairy, like

498
00:23:44,560 --> 00:23:46,960
Speaker 1: well above what any nutritness would say you need in

499
00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:47,440
Speaker 1: your diet.

500
00:23:47,920 --> 00:23:49,359
Speaker 2: I feel like you're a big fan of dairy.

501
00:23:49,400 --> 00:23:51,320
Speaker 1: I'm a big fan of dairy like I have. I

502
00:23:51,359 --> 00:23:53,600
Speaker 1: have Cow's milk coffee and I had two coffees a day.

503
00:23:53,720 --> 00:23:56,240
Speaker 1: I have cheese almost with every meal. I have yogurt

504
00:23:56,480 --> 00:23:59,440
Speaker 1: every day, Endless Mounts chocolate.

505
00:24:00,240 --> 00:24:06,280
Speaker 2: Call nine nine percent exactly right, and so child.

506
00:24:06,000 --> 00:24:10,280
Speaker 4: With an intolerance when I found, oh my god, like

507
00:24:10,480 --> 00:24:14,080
Speaker 4: guild that I felt, even though like you know I could,

508
00:24:14,119 --> 00:24:16,840
Speaker 4: I didn't know, and so like it's funny to even think,

509
00:24:16,960 --> 00:24:19,000
Speaker 4: like how did you feel guilty over something that wasn't

510
00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:19,840
Speaker 4: even your something.

511
00:24:19,720 --> 00:24:21,320
Speaker 1: You didn't know, but you still I still felt like,

512
00:24:21,320 --> 00:24:25,000
Speaker 1: oh my god, it was me. But yeah, she was

513
00:24:25,040 --> 00:24:28,719
Speaker 1: so unsettled, and that really threw me because different like

514
00:24:28,920 --> 00:24:31,040
Speaker 1: techniques or settling things that I'd do with Harvey just

515
00:24:31,080 --> 00:24:34,879
Speaker 1: wasn't working. And my back was just breaking. Like I

516
00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:37,800
Speaker 1: was like I had to wear her all day pretty much.

517
00:24:37,840 --> 00:24:40,080
Speaker 1: I was getting ten thousand steps without leaving the house.

518
00:24:40,640 --> 00:24:42,119
Speaker 1: Not leaving the house. I didn't leave the house, and

519
00:24:42,119 --> 00:24:45,399
Speaker 1: I'd get ten thousand steps just from pacing holding her,

520
00:24:45,800 --> 00:24:47,560
Speaker 1: And I was like, I just don't know how much

521
00:24:47,600 --> 00:24:48,920
Speaker 1: longer I'm going to be able to do this because

522
00:24:48,960 --> 00:24:51,000
Speaker 1: also outside of that, like I still wanted the energy

523
00:24:51,000 --> 00:24:53,000
Speaker 1: to be able to be there for Harvey and everything,

524
00:24:53,080 --> 00:24:55,840
Speaker 1: So that kind of threw me and was a little

525
00:24:55,840 --> 00:24:58,600
Speaker 1: bit more challenging. But I think being on top of

526
00:24:58,640 --> 00:25:02,440
Speaker 1: that intolerance has helped he So she's a lot happier now,

527
00:25:02,520 --> 00:25:04,840
Speaker 1: and I think she's also she's past that window of

528
00:25:04,880 --> 00:25:07,639
Speaker 1: like all the witching hour, like peaking like six weeks

529
00:25:07,640 --> 00:25:10,360
Speaker 1: that was like crazy, So she's past that now, and

530
00:25:10,440 --> 00:25:12,480
Speaker 1: it's nice to at least have those moments where she's

531
00:25:12,520 --> 00:25:15,600
Speaker 1: kind of like calm and smiling and cooey and we're

532
00:25:15,600 --> 00:25:17,320
Speaker 1: finally coming out of the smoke.

533
00:25:17,480 --> 00:25:24,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, what about the sort of big shift? I mean,

534
00:25:24,600 --> 00:25:26,920
Speaker 2: I know you spoke about it on the kick Bump

535
00:25:27,000 --> 00:25:31,280
Speaker 2: episode you just did, but was it surprising that it

536
00:25:31,440 --> 00:25:33,560
Speaker 2: was not as hard to go to two as it

537
00:25:33,600 --> 00:25:35,879
Speaker 2: was to go from zero to one? Like, how have

538
00:25:35,920 --> 00:25:39,159
Speaker 2: you navigated that? I can't actually imagine keeping all of

539
00:25:39,200 --> 00:25:42,760
Speaker 2: the data that I have about Teddy's activities, and then

540
00:25:42,800 --> 00:25:46,160
Speaker 2: adding another load of data but then not compatible. Yeah,

541
00:25:46,160 --> 00:25:49,240
Speaker 2: and then trying to like fit life in around those gas.

542
00:25:50,240 --> 00:25:53,600
Speaker 1: I think I've said going from zero to one is

543
00:25:53,960 --> 00:25:57,040
Speaker 1: harder than one to two, and I think to a

544
00:25:57,080 --> 00:26:00,480
Speaker 1: point I still agree with myself, But then it really

545
00:26:00,480 --> 00:26:01,800
Speaker 1: depends on how you look at it. I think going

546
00:26:01,840 --> 00:26:04,760
Speaker 1: from zero to one, it's an entire lifestyle shift, Like

547
00:26:04,840 --> 00:26:07,840
Speaker 1: you go from not like the main person really that

548
00:26:07,880 --> 00:26:11,720
Speaker 1: you're responsible for yourself and you can, you know, make

549
00:26:11,720 --> 00:26:13,919
Speaker 1: selfish decisions and be really flexible and stuff, and that

550
00:26:14,000 --> 00:26:18,400
Speaker 1: all really goes once you have a kid. So that

551
00:26:18,520 --> 00:26:20,399
Speaker 1: is a huge shift for me, I think, and I

552
00:26:20,440 --> 00:26:23,320
Speaker 1: think a lot of people would agree. However, I wouldn't

553
00:26:23,400 --> 00:26:26,439
Speaker 1: agree with the sentence that it then means one to

554
00:26:26,520 --> 00:26:30,600
Speaker 1: two is easier because it kind of changes again, like

555
00:26:31,240 --> 00:26:33,440
Speaker 1: the routine that you find I think, particularly for us,

556
00:26:33,440 --> 00:26:35,800
Speaker 1: like there was a bigger age gap, you know, four years,

557
00:26:35,840 --> 00:26:39,399
Speaker 1: so we very much got comfortable with our routine with

558
00:26:39,480 --> 00:26:42,600
Speaker 1: Harvey in our new life and kind of mentally thought

559
00:26:42,600 --> 00:26:44,840
Speaker 1: like it was just going to be the same and

560
00:26:45,000 --> 00:26:47,760
Speaker 1: having another one in there, yeah, which I don't know

561
00:26:47,800 --> 00:26:49,800
Speaker 1: why we thought that, But at the end of the day,

562
00:26:49,840 --> 00:26:53,439
Speaker 1: I think the biggest challenge is finding alone time and

563
00:26:53,480 --> 00:26:57,360
Speaker 1: finding time with your partner. I think you can manage

564
00:26:57,600 --> 00:27:00,800
Speaker 1: the guilt that your will doesn't revolve around your first anymore.

565
00:27:00,880 --> 00:27:02,399
Speaker 1: I think you can kind of get on top of

566
00:27:02,440 --> 00:27:06,679
Speaker 1: that because you see little glimpses of magic between the

567
00:27:06,680 --> 00:27:08,560
Speaker 1: two of them, and you know that it's like it's

568
00:27:08,560 --> 00:27:10,280
Speaker 1: a beautiful gift that you've been able to, Like, you

569
00:27:10,320 --> 00:27:12,400
Speaker 1: know that they get to grow up with another little

570
00:27:12,440 --> 00:27:15,439
Speaker 1: sibling in their family. I think so, I think you

571
00:27:15,480 --> 00:27:17,399
Speaker 1: can kind of get on top of that feeling of like,

572
00:27:17,440 --> 00:27:20,640
Speaker 1: oh my god, do they hate me? Now? Yeah, it's

573
00:27:20,680 --> 00:27:21,960
Speaker 1: normal to feel that way, but I think you get

574
00:27:21,960 --> 00:27:24,800
Speaker 1: on top of really. But it's the time with your partner,

575
00:27:25,600 --> 00:27:28,040
Speaker 1: which is like kind of near and possible unless you

576
00:27:28,080 --> 00:27:32,240
Speaker 1: have like a village helping you, and time by yourself

577
00:27:32,680 --> 00:27:38,280
Speaker 1: is very farb like I don't, Yeah, that hasn't really existed,

578
00:27:38,800 --> 00:27:41,360
Speaker 1: and it's getting used to that and then also accepting

579
00:27:41,359 --> 00:27:43,040
Speaker 1: that you know that that's probably only going to be

580
00:27:43,040 --> 00:27:44,800
Speaker 1: for a period of time as well. So I think

581
00:27:45,520 --> 00:27:47,760
Speaker 1: when you've had one before, you know that these really

582
00:27:47,760 --> 00:27:51,560
Speaker 1: hard phases pass and that hindsight is beautiful in the

583
00:27:51,640 --> 00:27:54,720
Speaker 1: second because I think in those really challenging moments, even

584
00:27:54,720 --> 00:27:57,040
Speaker 1: if they're a little bit different to the first, you

585
00:27:57,080 --> 00:28:00,119
Speaker 1: can remember that it's just a period of time, and

586
00:28:00,119 --> 00:28:01,679
Speaker 1: then you'll be past it. Yeah, I mean, and then

587
00:28:01,680 --> 00:28:02,720
Speaker 1: they'll go through some regression.

588
00:28:05,880 --> 00:28:08,639
Speaker 2: I feel like every chapter's hard. They're just new and different,

589
00:28:08,720 --> 00:28:13,240
Speaker 2: hard toitles, but with new and different beautiful moments. Yeah,

590
00:28:14,400 --> 00:28:18,000
Speaker 2: what about the So the four year gap? Had you

591
00:28:18,119 --> 00:28:21,920
Speaker 2: planned that out? Like we're now in that really overwhelming

592
00:28:22,600 --> 00:28:24,879
Speaker 2: stage of sort of being through the real thick of

593
00:28:24,920 --> 00:28:26,879
Speaker 2: that real early stage where I feel like we could

594
00:28:26,960 --> 00:28:29,880
Speaker 2: now cope with starting to think about trying. But then

595
00:28:29,880 --> 00:28:33,760
Speaker 2: there's so just the numbers and the there's so many

596
00:28:33,800 --> 00:28:35,880
Speaker 2: factors weighing in all different directions of classific that there's

597
00:28:35,880 --> 00:28:38,479
Speaker 2: no certainty whatsoever. So you're trying to plan for this

598
00:28:38,560 --> 00:28:41,640
Speaker 2: ideal gap that you want, and then you're like, I've

599
00:28:41,840 --> 00:28:44,160
Speaker 2: just started to get a bit of freedom back. Do

600
00:28:44,240 --> 00:28:46,720
Speaker 2: I just do it all before, like rip the band

601
00:28:46,720 --> 00:28:48,520
Speaker 2: aid again before I see the light, or do I

602
00:28:48,640 --> 00:28:50,720
Speaker 2: enjoy the light a little bit, or do I start

603
00:28:50,760 --> 00:28:53,040
Speaker 2: trying whatever happens right away, whatever it takes ages, Like

604
00:28:53,080 --> 00:28:56,840
Speaker 2: did you guys plan what you wanted and then did

605
00:28:56,920 --> 00:28:58,680
Speaker 2: it happen quickly? How did you manage?

606
00:28:58,840 --> 00:29:02,080
Speaker 1: So I think, like obviously, like as you said, like

607
00:29:02,240 --> 00:29:05,440
Speaker 1: I want to acknowledge, like to even have the thought

608
00:29:05,480 --> 00:29:06,680
Speaker 1: that it could be an option.

609
00:29:07,200 --> 00:29:07,840
Speaker 2: Is a privilege.

610
00:29:07,840 --> 00:29:10,840
Speaker 1: It's a privilege. And the fact that we started when

611
00:29:10,840 --> 00:29:13,200
Speaker 1: I was twenty seven with Harvey, like I had a

612
00:29:13,200 --> 00:29:15,680
Speaker 1: little bit more time, you know, on my biological clock

613
00:29:15,920 --> 00:29:17,680
Speaker 1: to take my time. You know, if you start a

614
00:29:17,720 --> 00:29:20,480
Speaker 1: little bit later, that's not necessarily an option if you're

615
00:29:20,480 --> 00:29:23,400
Speaker 1: wanted to have more than one kid. So and really,

616
00:29:23,480 --> 00:29:26,520
Speaker 1: we were really fortunate to fall pregnant quickly with Harvey,

617
00:29:27,120 --> 00:29:29,640
Speaker 1: So no, that doesn't mean you're guaranteed for it to

618
00:29:29,640 --> 00:29:33,040
Speaker 1: happen again. But I at least when we were thinking

619
00:29:33,040 --> 00:29:35,320
Speaker 1: about number two, I didn't have like, oh, well, it

620
00:29:35,360 --> 00:29:37,240
Speaker 1: was really hard the first time in the back of

621
00:29:37,280 --> 00:29:39,440
Speaker 1: my mind as well, so I kind of assumed that

622
00:29:39,880 --> 00:29:42,280
Speaker 1: it could be hard, but maybe not, Like we haven't

623
00:29:42,360 --> 00:29:44,760
Speaker 1: had any reason to be worried. So that was one

624
00:29:44,840 --> 00:29:47,160
Speaker 1: reason why we wanted to take our time. But really

625
00:29:47,200 --> 00:29:51,120
Speaker 1: the biggest factor, honestly was work, Like I really wanted

626
00:29:51,160 --> 00:29:53,440
Speaker 1: to get back into it, and I also with the

627
00:29:53,480 --> 00:29:57,040
Speaker 1: capacity of like balancing it with Harvey and what it did,

628
00:29:57,080 --> 00:29:59,120
Speaker 1: the difference it made like me being kind of like

629
00:29:59,160 --> 00:30:01,160
Speaker 1: out of the business for period of time and not

630
00:30:01,200 --> 00:30:04,200
Speaker 1: necessarily with our team or connecting with the community as much.

631
00:30:04,240 --> 00:30:07,160
Speaker 1: Like I felt that difference and the business like was affected.

632
00:30:07,840 --> 00:30:10,720
Speaker 1: It's going to happen, right, And so for me it

633
00:30:10,840 --> 00:30:13,280
Speaker 1: was like, Okay, well, what phase are we in? Like

634
00:30:13,320 --> 00:30:16,120
Speaker 1: I've got Harvey, which is amazing, and if he's all

635
00:30:16,160 --> 00:30:18,840
Speaker 1: I ever have, like I'm so grateful for that, but

636
00:30:18,960 --> 00:30:21,200
Speaker 1: now I really need to tap back into to work

637
00:30:21,240 --> 00:30:23,640
Speaker 1: as well, and I can't do that if I then

638
00:30:23,680 --> 00:30:25,880
Speaker 1: have to go and leave again and then pregnant again

639
00:30:26,240 --> 00:30:26,680
Speaker 1: and all of that.

640
00:30:26,800 --> 00:30:29,120
Speaker 2: So that was definitely one major factor to waiting.

641
00:30:29,840 --> 00:30:32,640
Speaker 1: But it was also as you said, I was really

642
00:30:32,680 --> 00:30:35,360
Speaker 1: feeling like I was on top of things. I reckon

643
00:30:35,440 --> 00:30:39,720
Speaker 1: between eighteen months and two years old Harvey, That's when

644
00:30:39,760 --> 00:30:42,520
Speaker 1: I felt like, not was I back, I was like

645
00:30:42,760 --> 00:30:46,040
Speaker 1: a new beta version of me and I was so happy,

646
00:30:46,160 --> 00:30:50,360
Speaker 1: Like I just felt like really good in my in myself,

647
00:30:50,360 --> 00:30:52,840
Speaker 1: in my strength and in mothering. I think like I

648
00:30:52,840 --> 00:30:54,520
Speaker 1: felt like I was a good mum and or just

649
00:30:55,520 --> 00:30:58,840
Speaker 1: like how many sixteenth that's two months away from me. So,

650
00:30:58,880 --> 00:31:00,520
Speaker 1: as I said before, it was a hard time in

651
00:31:00,640 --> 00:31:03,760
Speaker 1: my life. When I think about work, Yeah, but when

652
00:31:03,800 --> 00:31:05,600
Speaker 1: I think about who I was as a mument and

653
00:31:05,880 --> 00:31:08,720
Speaker 1: kind of other parts, I'm like, no, I actually did

654
00:31:08,760 --> 00:31:10,600
Speaker 1: start to feel like I was getting a grasp of

655
00:31:10,640 --> 00:31:12,680
Speaker 1: things and everything. So I was kind of, as you said,

656
00:31:12,720 --> 00:31:13,920
Speaker 1: you think like, oh, do I really want to go

657
00:31:14,000 --> 00:31:17,240
Speaker 1: back and all of that. Anyway, I had friends who

658
00:31:17,240 --> 00:31:19,680
Speaker 1: had had two under two as well, and I think

659
00:31:19,680 --> 00:31:21,920
Speaker 1: there's pros and cons for both. I think, as you said,

660
00:31:22,000 --> 00:31:24,400
Speaker 1: like you can kind of get through that, you know,

661
00:31:24,520 --> 00:31:28,720
Speaker 1: really young phase together and then as they grow they're

662
00:31:28,720 --> 00:31:32,360
Speaker 1: closer in age. Like that's really beautiful. But I think

663
00:31:32,360 --> 00:31:36,120
Speaker 1: about like both me and Josh's my partner, our dynamics

664
00:31:36,120 --> 00:31:39,440
Speaker 1: with our siblings. I mean, he's got huge age gaps

665
00:31:39,440 --> 00:31:42,080
Speaker 1: between all of his siblings. His youngest brother is like

666
00:31:42,120 --> 00:31:44,760
Speaker 1: fourteen years younger than him, and the other two are

667
00:31:44,760 --> 00:31:47,960
Speaker 1: like four or six years younger than him. And my

668
00:31:48,000 --> 00:31:50,040
Speaker 1: brother's three years older than me, so a little bit

669
00:31:50,080 --> 00:31:53,400
Speaker 1: of a smaller gap, but we're all really close. So

670
00:31:53,920 --> 00:31:56,560
Speaker 1: I don't think it means like if they're further apart,

671
00:31:56,560 --> 00:31:58,160
Speaker 1: they're just like not going to grap as those I

672
00:31:58,160 --> 00:32:00,840
Speaker 1: can see how it does happen, Yeah, but I just

673
00:32:00,840 --> 00:32:03,400
Speaker 1: think like without what we could compare it to, I

674
00:32:03,440 --> 00:32:06,600
Speaker 1: wasn't too worried about that. And so then what happened

675
00:32:06,720 --> 00:32:10,520
Speaker 1: was I also Laura and Dalt got married and we

676
00:32:10,920 --> 00:32:14,080
Speaker 1: I think I was really conscious of, like we'd always

677
00:32:14,080 --> 00:32:15,960
Speaker 1: spoken about as much as we're best friends and you'd

678
00:32:15,960 --> 00:32:17,640
Speaker 1: want to, like you'd dream to be pregnant at the

679
00:32:17,640 --> 00:32:19,840
Speaker 1: same time as your best friend and go through that

680
00:32:19,880 --> 00:32:22,200
Speaker 1: phase together for the business, that made no sense for

681
00:32:22,240 --> 00:32:24,640
Speaker 1: like both of us to be out, and we'd spoken

682
00:32:24,640 --> 00:32:27,080
Speaker 1: about that before, and so I think I was also

683
00:32:27,080 --> 00:32:30,160
Speaker 1: subconsciously giving space for her time.

684
00:32:30,320 --> 00:32:32,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, if she wanted to have a term she

685
00:32:32,200 --> 00:32:34,000
Speaker 2: wanted to, Yeah, I remember we spoke about that.

686
00:32:34,320 --> 00:32:37,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like, and that's just like, that is what it is.

687
00:32:37,120 --> 00:32:37,160
Speaker 4: Like.

688
00:32:37,200 --> 00:32:39,040
Speaker 1: I think I've spoken to some people about it who

689
00:32:39,800 --> 00:32:42,440
Speaker 1: don't necessarily have their own business, and they didn't really

690
00:32:42,520 --> 00:32:44,800
Speaker 1: understand it and were like, what do you mean, Like

691
00:32:44,960 --> 00:32:47,880
Speaker 1: it shouldn't be so calculated, but like, but the reality

692
00:32:47,960 --> 00:32:50,200
Speaker 1: is it kind of does, like and you don't have control,

693
00:32:50,280 --> 00:32:51,720
Speaker 1: Like you don't know how or when you're going to

694
00:32:51,760 --> 00:32:54,240
Speaker 1: feel pregnant is in like it can come sporadically or

695
00:32:54,240 --> 00:32:57,560
Speaker 1: it can be really hard. But when you run a business,

696
00:32:57,600 --> 00:32:59,719
Speaker 1: and particularly it's like a co founder, you do have

697
00:32:59,800 --> 00:33:02,040
Speaker 1: to obviously considered the other person and consider the business

698
00:33:02,080 --> 00:33:05,040
Speaker 1: in those kind of life changing decisions. And so what

699
00:33:05,160 --> 00:33:07,640
Speaker 1: happened was when she was working through whether or not

700
00:33:07,720 --> 00:33:10,400
Speaker 1: they wanted to have kids. That was a period where

701
00:33:10,440 --> 00:33:12,680
Speaker 1: I knew for sure that we wanted to have a second,

702
00:33:13,120 --> 00:33:15,680
Speaker 1: but the timing I was still unsure with. But I

703
00:33:15,720 --> 00:33:18,520
Speaker 1: was coming closer and closer to think, I think we're ready.

704
00:33:19,120 --> 00:33:21,360
Speaker 1: But I was very conscious that she was going through that,

705
00:33:21,480 --> 00:33:26,040
Speaker 1: and I didn't want my decision to affect her decision

706
00:33:26,080 --> 00:33:29,600
Speaker 1: because she's such a selfless person. Yeah, but I feel

707
00:33:29,640 --> 00:33:31,800
Speaker 1: like if she's like working out she wants to have

708
00:33:31,880 --> 00:33:33,280
Speaker 1: a kid or not, and then I'm like, yeah, by

709
00:33:33,320 --> 00:33:35,560
Speaker 1: the way, I want my second now. Like as much

710
00:33:35,560 --> 00:33:37,520
Speaker 1: as I obviously she would want me to be honest

711
00:33:37,560 --> 00:33:38,040
Speaker 1: with her.

712
00:33:38,080 --> 00:33:40,040
Speaker 2: It could tip her yet And I.

713
00:33:40,040 --> 00:33:41,400
Speaker 1: Was like, no, no, she just needs the space to

714
00:33:41,400 --> 00:33:44,840
Speaker 1: figure this out. And honestly, it was very soon after

715
00:33:44,920 --> 00:33:47,560
Speaker 1: she opened up to me about like she'd worked through it.

716
00:33:48,080 --> 00:33:50,880
Speaker 1: She did the miniseries and they decided that they did

717
00:33:50,960 --> 00:33:52,440
Speaker 1: want to have a kid, but they were probably at

718
00:33:52,520 --> 00:33:55,040
Speaker 1: least like twelve to eighteen months off trying. As soon

719
00:33:55,080 --> 00:34:01,240
Speaker 1: as she said that, I was like, bang, okay, that's

720
00:34:01,280 --> 00:34:01,760
Speaker 1: a window.

721
00:34:02,280 --> 00:34:02,800
Speaker 2: That's cool.

722
00:34:02,840 --> 00:34:04,920
Speaker 1: And then I just we had an honest conversation about it,

723
00:34:04,960 --> 00:34:06,920
Speaker 1: and I was like, we really would love to have

724
00:34:06,960 --> 00:34:09,359
Speaker 1: a second. We both were really honest with each other

725
00:34:09,360 --> 00:34:11,440
Speaker 1: and that like, you know, she might start trying in

726
00:34:11,480 --> 00:34:14,799
Speaker 1: eighteen months, but it could take them two three four

727
00:34:14,880 --> 00:34:16,880
Speaker 1: years to actually full pregnant, and was I going to

728
00:34:16,960 --> 00:34:19,960
Speaker 1: kind of just hold back and wait until that and

729
00:34:20,000 --> 00:34:22,400
Speaker 1: the reality of that and everything, and so yeah, it

730
00:34:22,440 --> 00:34:25,520
Speaker 1: was pretty much like once that was worked through, we

731
00:34:25,840 --> 00:34:29,560
Speaker 1: started trying, and again, we're very fortunate that it happened quickly.

732
00:34:30,320 --> 00:34:32,040
Speaker 1: Laura had a joke, she was like, well, you're very

733
00:34:32,040 --> 00:34:34,239
Speaker 1: sufficient with planning, beaus In like, you know, we kind

734
00:34:34,239 --> 00:34:36,840
Speaker 1: of we spoke about it, and we planned it, and

735
00:34:36,880 --> 00:34:42,400
Speaker 1: then like next minute, you're pregnant. So that's kind of

736
00:34:42,440 --> 00:34:45,960
Speaker 1: how it was decided. And to be honest, like if

737
00:34:45,960 --> 00:34:49,640
Speaker 1: anyone's worried about four years of a gap for whatever

738
00:34:49,680 --> 00:34:52,680
Speaker 1: reason that you're worried, I've loved it. I think it's

739
00:34:52,719 --> 00:34:56,200
Speaker 1: been great because it's given me and Josh a really

740
00:34:56,200 --> 00:34:59,360
Speaker 1: special time with Harvey. It's meant that he's at this

741
00:34:59,400 --> 00:35:02,440
Speaker 1: age where he can cognitively understand a lot, Like he

742
00:35:02,520 --> 00:35:04,239
Speaker 1: knew as my belly was growing that there was a

743
00:35:04,239 --> 00:35:06,880
Speaker 1: baby in there growing. He could understand that he'd seen

744
00:35:06,880 --> 00:35:10,760
Speaker 1: my sister in law be pregnant and have his cousins

745
00:35:10,800 --> 00:35:12,960
Speaker 1: and my little nephew in the hospital and then come

746
00:35:13,000 --> 00:35:14,680
Speaker 1: home and then see him get older every time he

747
00:35:14,719 --> 00:35:17,319
Speaker 1: catches up, so he could understand what a baby is,

748
00:35:17,800 --> 00:35:20,759
Speaker 1: how you've got to be gentle. He like whispers or

749
00:35:20,760 --> 00:35:24,400
Speaker 1: like would tiptoe, not always, he also screams, and so

750
00:35:24,640 --> 00:35:29,319
Speaker 1: exactly it's little, but he somewhat understands and can communicate

751
00:35:29,360 --> 00:35:31,080
Speaker 1: and all that sort of stuff I've And he's also

752
00:35:31,200 --> 00:35:34,160
Speaker 1: like somewhat sufficient, like he'll like self sufficient. He'll go

753
00:35:34,200 --> 00:35:36,040
Speaker 1: and make himself a cereal bowl or like put on

754
00:35:36,080 --> 00:35:39,279
Speaker 1: his own clothes and like, so that's really helpful as well,

755
00:35:39,320 --> 00:35:41,359
Speaker 1: because like if I'm not trapped or anything, he.

756
00:35:41,320 --> 00:35:42,799
Speaker 2: Can get your water bottle. Yeah.

757
00:35:43,080 --> 00:35:45,920
Speaker 1: So I think if you're worried that like you know,

758
00:35:45,960 --> 00:35:47,879
Speaker 1: the GAP's going to be too big or whatever, because

759
00:35:47,880 --> 00:35:49,800
Speaker 1: I think we more commonly see how people make it

760
00:35:49,880 --> 00:35:52,840
Speaker 1: work when they're closer in age, which is chaotic in

761
00:35:52,880 --> 00:35:53,399
Speaker 1: its own way.

762
00:35:54,000 --> 00:35:54,680
Speaker 2: But I don't know.

763
00:35:54,640 --> 00:35:58,640
Speaker 1: If we see as much with a bigger gap, and

764
00:35:59,200 --> 00:36:00,440
Speaker 1: it's really worked for us.

765
00:36:00,560 --> 00:36:03,600
Speaker 2: I actually was really excited to have this chat with

766
00:36:03,680 --> 00:36:07,480
Speaker 2: you because I have seen this really big swing and

767
00:36:07,560 --> 00:36:10,120
Speaker 2: a lot of people around me, particularly in the last

768
00:36:10,120 --> 00:36:13,600
Speaker 2: six months of two under two pregnancies, like the second

769
00:36:13,640 --> 00:36:16,440
Speaker 2: pregnancy being announced and realizing they are all going to

770
00:36:16,480 --> 00:36:18,799
Speaker 2: be so close together, and women who are in a

771
00:36:18,840 --> 00:36:21,799
Speaker 2: similar career phases us where we're a little bit more

772
00:36:21,920 --> 00:36:24,920
Speaker 2: established than we were for our first child, so we

773
00:36:25,000 --> 00:36:28,319
Speaker 2: do have a little bit more choice, like the you know,

774
00:36:28,320 --> 00:36:30,400
Speaker 2: there's not as much concern about taking a break, and

775
00:36:30,440 --> 00:36:32,640
Speaker 2: so perhaps that does me and everyone's like, let's just

776
00:36:32,680 --> 00:36:34,680
Speaker 2: do it now before I get that momentum. But then

777
00:36:34,719 --> 00:36:36,359
Speaker 2: I sort of thought, I want to see a really

778
00:36:36,440 --> 00:36:38,560
Speaker 2: nice example of if it does take us a little

779
00:36:38,600 --> 00:36:43,120
Speaker 2: bit longer. Yeah, And I love that you can explain

780
00:36:43,200 --> 00:36:47,520
Speaker 2: to Harvey, like he can be part of getting excited

781
00:36:47,560 --> 00:36:49,840
Speaker 2: because he does have that little bit of extra cognition

782
00:36:49,920 --> 00:36:51,560
Speaker 2: that's also special in its own way.

783
00:36:51,680 --> 00:36:54,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, it is, And it's like and I know not

784
00:36:54,520 --> 00:36:57,240
Speaker 1: everyone has this experience, and it could have gone anyway,

785
00:36:57,960 --> 00:37:01,319
Speaker 1: but he loves us so much, so beautiful seeing him,

786
00:37:01,320 --> 00:37:04,040
Speaker 1: like while I've been here. If we FaceTime him and

787
00:37:04,160 --> 00:37:08,239
Speaker 1: she gives a little smile or something, he laughs like hysterically,

788
00:37:08,239 --> 00:37:11,200
Speaker 1: thinking securest thing. Ever, when she smiles at him and

789
00:37:11,239 --> 00:37:12,799
Speaker 1: he's like giving her a nickname, we all call her

790
00:37:12,840 --> 00:37:17,920
Speaker 1: Bilson's now because that's what he called her. Bis. So like,

791
00:37:18,000 --> 00:37:20,279
Speaker 1: it's just really sweatin. We'll be in the car and

792
00:37:20,320 --> 00:37:23,719
Speaker 1: he'll be like, hey, mom, Billy said that she really

793
00:37:23,760 --> 00:37:28,799
Speaker 1: wants to listen to Frozen, like she really sure, Like

794
00:37:28,800 --> 00:37:34,040
Speaker 1: he's already, He's already using his sibling is like, so, yeah,

795
00:37:34,520 --> 00:37:37,520
Speaker 1: it's been it's been nice seeing him kind of blossom

796
00:37:37,520 --> 00:37:38,200
Speaker 1: as brother too.

797
00:37:38,280 --> 00:37:41,359
Speaker 2: Oh that's so beautiful. It's been lovely, really lovely to watch.

798
00:37:41,440 --> 00:37:44,160
Speaker 2: And yeah, also really nice to have an example of

799
00:37:44,200 --> 00:37:46,960
Speaker 2: a slightly bigger age gap, which is still not big,

800
00:37:47,000 --> 00:37:50,120
Speaker 2: but yeah, bigger to be able to kind of compare

801
00:37:50,120 --> 00:37:51,600
Speaker 2: that because it did take us a little while to

802
00:37:51,600 --> 00:37:53,600
Speaker 2: get pregnant with TV, so thinking like, even if we

803
00:37:53,600 --> 00:37:57,120
Speaker 2: did start today, it could still take us quite a while.

804
00:37:57,840 --> 00:37:59,239
Speaker 2: But one of the things that has played in my

805
00:37:59,280 --> 00:38:02,360
Speaker 2: mind quite a lot. Is that. I love that you

806
00:38:02,400 --> 00:38:05,919
Speaker 2: are really open just now about how calculated the decision actually.

807
00:38:05,600 --> 00:38:06,279
Speaker 1: Does have to be.

808
00:38:06,360 --> 00:38:10,200
Speaker 2: In reality, for women in particular, it is actually that calculated.

809
00:38:10,239 --> 00:38:12,880
Speaker 2: It's what is work doing and when can I afford

810
00:38:12,960 --> 00:38:16,440
Speaker 2: to take that break? And I think one of the

811
00:38:16,480 --> 00:38:20,360
Speaker 2: more challenging parts of our industry is relevance. And we

812
00:38:21,280 --> 00:38:24,000
Speaker 2: talk about it much because it's embarrassing, it's stigmatized, and

813
00:38:24,040 --> 00:38:25,840
Speaker 2: because if you're talking about it, it means you're questioning it,

814
00:38:25,840 --> 00:38:29,120
Speaker 2: which is a really vulnerable place to be. But you

815
00:38:29,239 --> 00:38:32,960
Speaker 2: do have this huge fear of like, once I'm a mum,

816
00:38:33,480 --> 00:38:36,719
Speaker 2: will I become this daggy person whose brand has changed?

817
00:38:37,520 --> 00:38:39,720
Speaker 2: That whole loss of identity is already something that plays

818
00:38:39,719 --> 00:38:42,880
Speaker 2: on every woman's mind, but in an industry where your

819
00:38:43,160 --> 00:38:48,080
Speaker 2: personal profile, body image, everything is your brand, it is

820
00:38:48,120 --> 00:38:51,279
Speaker 2: so difficult. And as much as you're comfortable talking about it,

821
00:38:51,320 --> 00:38:54,200
Speaker 2: you and I have mentioned quite a few times that

822
00:38:54,239 --> 00:38:58,799
Speaker 2: we felt a shift in our identity internally, but I

823
00:38:58,880 --> 00:39:01,040
Speaker 2: actually think the bigger challenge and just how everyone else

824
00:39:01,080 --> 00:39:04,320
Speaker 2: sees you different when you don't want to be seen differently,

825
00:39:04,719 --> 00:39:07,960
Speaker 2: Like you're like I still like fashion, I still like

826
00:39:08,000 --> 00:39:10,040
Speaker 2: all the things I used to like, I'm still dynamic,

827
00:39:10,080 --> 00:39:13,400
Speaker 2: I'm still young. In my brain, I thought the rebrand

828
00:39:13,520 --> 00:39:16,759
Speaker 2: might be in my head. But there's been a lot

829
00:39:16,800 --> 00:39:19,480
Speaker 2: of things that have changed in the way other people

830
00:39:19,520 --> 00:39:23,200
Speaker 2: perceive me, purely because I had a baby. Yeah, have

831
00:39:23,280 --> 00:39:26,319
Speaker 2: you found that played on? Like you and I were

832
00:39:26,320 --> 00:39:28,359
Speaker 2: at an event together when Billy was two weeks old,

833
00:39:28,960 --> 00:39:33,200
Speaker 2: which was so beautiful. Does that go through your mind

834
00:39:33,239 --> 00:39:36,000
Speaker 2: of like I have to get back and be out

835
00:39:36,040 --> 00:39:37,600
Speaker 2: and about because I have to be seen to be

836
00:39:37,640 --> 00:39:40,000
Speaker 2: still doing stuff. But I can't say yes to too

837
00:39:40,000 --> 00:39:41,759
Speaker 2: many motherhood events because I might be seen as too

838
00:39:41,840 --> 00:39:43,879
Speaker 2: much of a mum, like the stuff we wouldn't never

839
00:39:43,920 --> 00:39:47,279
Speaker 2: really vocalize. But do you think does that happen to you?

840
00:39:47,280 --> 00:39:48,919
Speaker 2: And is it different this time to last time?

841
00:39:49,040 --> 00:39:51,279
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's really interesting. I mean, first of all, I

842
00:39:51,400 --> 00:39:53,160
Speaker 1: just want to say it's so funny. I'm the same

843
00:39:53,200 --> 00:39:56,560
Speaker 1: with thinking like I'm such a young mum.

844
00:39:55,760 --> 00:39:57,880
Speaker 2: I'm such a teenage young mom.

845
00:39:58,040 --> 00:40:01,160
Speaker 1: I really mean, I'm still twenty two. And then someone

846
00:40:01,200 --> 00:40:04,239
Speaker 1: would be like, oh, you're thirty one, so it's kind

847
00:40:04,239 --> 00:40:05,759
Speaker 1: of like average, isn't it, And I'm like.

848
00:40:05,880 --> 00:40:08,800
Speaker 2: It's just normal. Yeah, right, But it's so true, like

849
00:40:08,800 --> 00:40:12,239
Speaker 2: a teenager. True. I think people are looking at me like, oh,

850
00:40:12,280 --> 00:40:14,480
Speaker 2: she's way too young for I mean she knocked back

851
00:40:14,520 --> 00:40:18,200
Speaker 2: in high school, Like, oh my god, that's true.

852
00:40:18,920 --> 00:40:21,399
Speaker 1: But no, I agree. I think for me, it's been

853
00:40:21,440 --> 00:40:24,440
Speaker 1: really interesting. I think because especially with like how my

854
00:40:24,560 --> 00:40:27,000
Speaker 1: career kind of started. You know, I was a full

855
00:40:27,000 --> 00:40:29,480
Speaker 1: time model. Most of the modeling I was doing was

856
00:40:29,520 --> 00:40:33,120
Speaker 1: bikini and laingerie, and I've always really loved leaning into

857
00:40:33,160 --> 00:40:36,080
Speaker 1: that kind of side of me and still to this

858
00:40:36,200 --> 00:40:39,600
Speaker 1: day would enjoy like, I mean, call it what it is,

859
00:40:39,600 --> 00:40:41,520
Speaker 1: but get my rig out for a shoot, right, Like

860
00:40:41,920 --> 00:40:43,960
Speaker 1: I still get a kick out of that, and you

861
00:40:44,080 --> 00:40:47,799
Speaker 1: do enjoy that, and I'm really happy to still feel

862
00:40:47,800 --> 00:40:52,000
Speaker 1: connected to that side of me. I think, however, like

863
00:40:52,080 --> 00:40:54,920
Speaker 1: it took a long time for any of those kind

864
00:40:54,920 --> 00:40:58,239
Speaker 1: of jobs to come back up, like and for people

865
00:40:58,280 --> 00:41:01,520
Speaker 1: to even consider it, and like maybe it was because

866
00:41:01,520 --> 00:41:04,760
Speaker 1: I wasn't like traveling as much and taking that content

867
00:41:05,040 --> 00:41:07,759
Speaker 1: like and reminding people that I don't know, I can

868
00:41:07,800 --> 00:41:12,200
Speaker 1: still do this, but like it's Hbaccini. It is a

869
00:41:12,200 --> 00:41:14,120
Speaker 1: bit funny, Like I'm already thinking about it now. I

870
00:41:14,160 --> 00:41:16,440
Speaker 1: still have some goals and ambitions of mine in the

871
00:41:16,440 --> 00:41:18,360
Speaker 1: modeling space that I'm not ready to let go of,

872
00:41:18,680 --> 00:41:20,720
Speaker 1: and I know that that's going to take me putting

873
00:41:20,719 --> 00:41:23,480
Speaker 1: myself out there again and people. I can't just assume

874
00:41:23,480 --> 00:41:25,480
Speaker 1: that people still think I'm into it and everything like,

875
00:41:25,520 --> 00:41:27,759
Speaker 1: so there is still a part of you that's like, well,

876
00:41:27,800 --> 00:41:29,160
Speaker 1: I kind of do got to show up in that

877
00:41:29,200 --> 00:41:31,640
Speaker 1: way for people to see me that way. But you're

878
00:41:31,680 --> 00:41:34,239
Speaker 1: so right, just because I've become a mum doesn't mean

879
00:41:34,280 --> 00:41:35,080
Speaker 1: that's my.

880
00:41:35,239 --> 00:41:36,520
Speaker 2: Entire It's not automatic.

881
00:41:36,719 --> 00:41:38,799
Speaker 3: No, Yeah, I mean I know we talk about it

882
00:41:38,840 --> 00:41:42,440
Speaker 3: a lot, but we do like to think of it right,

883
00:41:42,840 --> 00:41:45,799
Speaker 3: And I do want to say as well, like I

884
00:41:45,880 --> 00:41:46,759
Speaker 3: love being a mum.

885
00:41:46,960 --> 00:41:49,520
Speaker 1: I love it, and I feel like it's something that

886
00:41:49,600 --> 00:41:52,000
Speaker 1: I knew I was always going to, Like I have

887
00:41:52,360 --> 00:41:54,880
Speaker 1: waited for this day my whole life, like it was

888
00:41:55,239 --> 00:41:56,000
Speaker 1: it was always.

889
00:41:55,719 --> 00:41:56,320
Speaker 2: Going to happen.

890
00:41:56,600 --> 00:41:57,880
Speaker 1: Well, I mean, I hoped it was always going to

891
00:41:57,920 --> 00:41:59,560
Speaker 1: happen for me. It was a big dream of mine.

892
00:41:59,600 --> 00:42:02,560
Speaker 1: So like, as much as it's challenging and I vent

893
00:42:02,600 --> 00:42:04,960
Speaker 1: a lot about it, it's a dream come true for me.

894
00:42:05,080 --> 00:42:07,160
Speaker 1: So I'm okay with a lot of my identity being

895
00:42:07,200 --> 00:42:10,800
Speaker 1: attached to motherhood because for me, it's the most rewarding

896
00:42:10,800 --> 00:42:15,320
Speaker 1: thing I've ever done, but it's not my whole entire self.

897
00:42:15,480 --> 00:42:19,879
Speaker 1: And so like, for example, I still wear pretty cheeky bikinis, right,

898
00:42:20,640 --> 00:42:23,360
Speaker 1: and people have something to say about that when I

899
00:42:23,400 --> 00:42:25,279
Speaker 1: wear them. There was a video I put up on

900
00:42:25,719 --> 00:42:27,319
Speaker 1: I think it was TikTok or something, and it ended

901
00:42:27,360 --> 00:42:29,640
Speaker 1: up going viral. I was wearing just what I thought

902
00:42:29,800 --> 00:42:32,880
Speaker 1: was like a relatively okay but cheeky bikini and I

903
00:42:32,920 --> 00:42:34,839
Speaker 1: was jumping in the pool to get goggles or something

904
00:42:34,840 --> 00:42:38,640
Speaker 1: for Harvey, and the internet was like some people were

905
00:42:38,760 --> 00:42:41,480
Speaker 1: super supportive, but it was like this outrage of like

906
00:42:41,840 --> 00:42:43,560
Speaker 1: me being a mum and wearing what I was wearing

907
00:42:43,560 --> 00:42:45,120
Speaker 1: in front of my son, and I was like, he'll

908
00:42:45,160 --> 00:42:48,279
Speaker 1: see me naked, Like you mean what? Like I still

909
00:42:48,320 --> 00:42:50,040
Speaker 1: have baths or showers with him, Like what's wrong with

910
00:42:50,040 --> 00:42:51,560
Speaker 1: me wearing a cheeky bikini around him?

911
00:42:51,560 --> 00:42:52,960
Speaker 2: And also why.

912
00:42:52,800 --> 00:42:53,759
Speaker 1: Can't a mom wear that?

913
00:42:53,960 --> 00:42:55,440
Speaker 2: Like it's everyone feels.

914
00:42:55,160 --> 00:42:57,239
Speaker 1: Comfortable in different things, and this is what I feel

915
00:42:57,239 --> 00:43:00,400
Speaker 1: comfortable in, Like why is that such a problem for you?

916
00:43:00,440 --> 00:43:02,960
Speaker 1: Because I have a kid, that's what rare. It annoys me.

917
00:43:03,000 --> 00:43:05,520
Speaker 1: And when you know you can lean so far into

918
00:43:05,520 --> 00:43:07,640
Speaker 1: motherhood because you're enjoying it and it is a huge

919
00:43:07,680 --> 00:43:09,720
Speaker 1: part of you. But then people think it then defines

920
00:43:09,760 --> 00:43:12,040
Speaker 1: everything else you do. I don't think that that needs

921
00:43:12,080 --> 00:43:12,680
Speaker 1: to be the case.

922
00:43:12,800 --> 00:43:15,200
Speaker 2: And I think it's if you choose that, Yeah, that's

923
00:43:15,239 --> 00:43:18,359
Speaker 2: absolutely fine, Like if you want to go and lean

924
00:43:18,440 --> 00:43:20,440
Speaker 2: all the way into your mother and not have a

925
00:43:20,440 --> 00:43:23,120
Speaker 2: bikini moment, and like that's totally fine. Truly, I think

926
00:43:23,160 --> 00:43:25,439
Speaker 2: that it's taken away from you. Like I remember having

927
00:43:25,760 --> 00:43:29,080
Speaker 2: really interesting comment about from someone and I understand, like

928
00:43:29,200 --> 00:43:30,640
Speaker 2: fair enough, they didn't have to tell me, but they're

929
00:43:30,640 --> 00:43:33,680
Speaker 2: allowed to have this opinion. They chose not to have children,

930
00:43:33,760 --> 00:43:35,920
Speaker 2: and like all my content in that first chapter was

931
00:43:35,920 --> 00:43:37,520
Speaker 2: about Teddy, and of course it was because I wasn't

932
00:43:37,520 --> 00:43:40,080
Speaker 2: doing anything else because I was, you know, I just

933
00:43:40,120 --> 00:43:42,480
Speaker 2: had a baby. But I sort of was like, well

934
00:43:42,560 --> 00:43:44,880
Speaker 2: you will, that other stuff will return, Like this is

935
00:43:44,920 --> 00:43:45,799
Speaker 2: just the chapter that I'm in.

936
00:43:45,840 --> 00:43:47,759
Speaker 1: What did they say, like, you don't post any of

937
00:43:47,760 --> 00:43:49,040
Speaker 1: your olds, yeah anymore.

938
00:43:48,719 --> 00:43:50,680
Speaker 2: And like I'm just gonna unfollow And I was saying, yeah, anyway,

939
00:43:50,680 --> 00:43:52,720
Speaker 2: that's a whole other story whatever. I was like, that's fine,

940
00:43:52,880 --> 00:43:56,120
Speaker 2: be sure. But what was really interesting to me is

941
00:43:56,160 --> 00:43:59,560
Speaker 2: that the reason why it continued for longer was not

942
00:43:59,600 --> 00:44:01,600
Speaker 2: because I didn't want to post that stuff. It's because

943
00:44:01,600 --> 00:44:04,080
Speaker 2: I didn't have any of that stuff to post. Yeah, Like,

944
00:44:04,160 --> 00:44:07,680
Speaker 2: I found it interesting that it wasn't my choice In

945
00:44:07,719 --> 00:44:09,840
Speaker 2: a lot of situations. It was like, I'm not posting

946
00:44:09,920 --> 00:44:11,960
Speaker 2: as much fashion stuff because I'm not getting out much

947
00:44:12,000 --> 00:44:14,120
Speaker 2: fashion jobs because people don't want to send me this stuff.

948
00:44:14,120 --> 00:44:16,319
Speaker 2: And it's like, still wear the same clothes. Yeah, I'm

949
00:44:16,320 --> 00:44:19,800
Speaker 2: still the same size, Like I still take the same content,

950
00:44:19,960 --> 00:44:24,080
Speaker 2: nothing has changed, So why, like do you find I

951
00:44:24,200 --> 00:44:27,440
Speaker 2: have this overarching and it is more calculated than I'd

952
00:44:27,520 --> 00:44:30,200
Speaker 2: like to be, But I have this overarching quota of

953
00:44:30,280 --> 00:44:32,840
Speaker 2: like how much motherhood stuff am I doing? And how

954
00:44:32,920 --> 00:44:35,600
Speaker 2: much non motherhood stuff am I doing? And sometimes I'm like, shit,

955
00:44:35,600 --> 00:44:38,919
Speaker 2: it's been too long. I've got to got to chuck

956
00:44:39,000 --> 00:44:40,799
Speaker 2: up something in a nice outfit because oh my god,

957
00:44:40,800 --> 00:44:42,320
Speaker 2: it's wint Like do you have that balance?

958
00:44:42,440 --> 00:44:44,560
Speaker 1: I think, like, as I said, there's still some goals

959
00:44:44,760 --> 00:44:46,799
Speaker 1: in my career that I would like to reach, and

960
00:44:46,840 --> 00:44:49,040
Speaker 1: I just know that I'm not going to be considered

961
00:44:49,040 --> 00:44:51,120
Speaker 1: for any of it if I'm just posting motherhood. Yeah,

962
00:44:51,120 --> 00:44:53,840
Speaker 1: it's just not going to happen. But when it comes

963
00:44:53,840 --> 00:44:58,439
Speaker 1: to so for I think strategy and career wise, yes,

964
00:44:58,600 --> 00:45:01,279
Speaker 1: it's my mind. Yeah, I have let go of though

965
00:45:01,600 --> 00:45:03,799
Speaker 1: is people like that comment that you got, Yeah, Like

966
00:45:03,960 --> 00:45:08,680
Speaker 1: I individual don't care. My Instagram has changed so much

967
00:45:08,880 --> 00:45:11,320
Speaker 1: from like if someone's been following me since two thousand

968
00:45:11,360 --> 00:45:13,000
Speaker 1: and I don't know, eleven from when I've been on

969
00:45:13,120 --> 00:45:14,879
Speaker 1: or twenty fourteen when I was living in New York,

970
00:45:14,960 --> 00:45:18,960
Speaker 1: Like I am loldly aware that my feed does not

971
00:45:19,000 --> 00:45:21,319
Speaker 1: look like it did then, like I was doing a

972
00:45:21,360 --> 00:45:23,759
Speaker 1: photo shoot at least once a week. I was like

973
00:45:23,880 --> 00:45:26,920
Speaker 1: traveling into state or overseas almost every month. Like of

974
00:45:26,960 --> 00:45:29,280
Speaker 1: course my feed has changed. My entire life has changed,

975
00:45:29,600 --> 00:45:30,840
Speaker 1: and I'm aware of that, and I'm not going to

976
00:45:30,920 --> 00:45:33,600
Speaker 1: try and get back there or like try and make

977
00:45:33,640 --> 00:45:36,080
Speaker 1: that possible to like please someone else that my account

978
00:45:36,160 --> 00:45:38,200
Speaker 1: is showing up how they want, Like it's I'm fine

979
00:45:38,239 --> 00:45:40,640
Speaker 1: with someone moving on because the phase that I'm in

980
00:45:40,719 --> 00:45:43,400
Speaker 1: right now, like I am posting motherhood more than anything. Again,

981
00:45:43,600 --> 00:45:47,520
Speaker 1: I'm eight weeks pro shredam. But it's also a phase

982
00:45:47,560 --> 00:45:51,520
Speaker 1: that I'm really invested in right now and I'm consumed

983
00:45:51,560 --> 00:45:54,760
Speaker 1: by And yeah, I might be like losing some people

984
00:45:54,760 --> 00:45:57,880
Speaker 1: and that's okay, but I'm also gaining new community members

985
00:45:58,000 --> 00:46:00,760
Speaker 1: that are connecting with me because they going through something

986
00:46:00,800 --> 00:46:02,759
Speaker 1: similar as well. And I think that's really nice too,

987
00:46:02,840 --> 00:46:05,480
Speaker 1: that it can kind of change and you can change,

988
00:46:05,520 --> 00:46:10,200
Speaker 1: and we need to give ourselves grace in those periods. However,

989
00:46:10,400 --> 00:46:12,680
Speaker 1: people also need to have patience. As you said that

990
00:46:12,840 --> 00:46:16,479
Speaker 1: like things like me traveling or like doing modeling gigs

991
00:46:16,520 --> 00:46:18,080
Speaker 1: or whatever, that'll probably come back. So if that's what

992
00:46:18,120 --> 00:46:20,320
Speaker 1: you enjoyed, yeah, stick around.

993
00:46:20,840 --> 00:46:21,000
Speaker 4: Yeah.

994
00:46:21,040 --> 00:46:22,960
Speaker 2: If you followed me for Antarctica, I'm not doing that

995
00:46:23,000 --> 00:46:25,120
Speaker 2: for a little while, guys. It's just like not where

996
00:46:25,160 --> 00:46:29,160
Speaker 2: I'm at right now. Maybe. Oh god, that looked amazing.

997
00:46:29,560 --> 00:46:33,600
Speaker 2: It was amazing, And it's interesting that I'm curious to

998
00:46:33,680 --> 00:46:38,520
Speaker 2: know whether you have felt different or less pressure this

999
00:46:38,640 --> 00:46:42,520
Speaker 2: time because of that perception thing to get back to

1000
00:46:42,560 --> 00:46:46,359
Speaker 2: the things you did before, Because I definitely felt like

1001
00:46:46,440 --> 00:46:49,200
Speaker 2: we had a trip for a wedding when Teddy was

1002
00:46:49,239 --> 00:46:52,279
Speaker 2: four months overseas and I was not saying no to that.

1003
00:46:52,680 --> 00:46:54,160
Speaker 2: But a big part of it was not just for

1004
00:46:54,200 --> 00:46:56,000
Speaker 2: the life experience, it was also because I was like,

1005
00:46:56,080 --> 00:46:58,000
Speaker 2: I need to show people I can travel.

1006
00:46:57,719 --> 00:46:58,760
Speaker 1: Sta still travel.

1007
00:46:58,920 --> 00:47:02,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I want if the second time around, I

1008
00:47:02,480 --> 00:47:04,800
Speaker 2: would be a little bit less worried about that, Like

1009
00:47:04,800 --> 00:47:06,359
Speaker 2: I would still say yes to the things I want

1010
00:47:06,400 --> 00:47:07,880
Speaker 2: to say yes to it, but I wouldn't feel like

1011
00:47:08,640 --> 00:47:11,080
Speaker 2: I needed to show like I did my first photo

1012
00:47:11,080 --> 00:47:14,920
Speaker 2: shoot at five weeks, which I probably would say yes

1013
00:47:14,920 --> 00:47:16,839
Speaker 2: again because it was an amazing opportunity, but I think

1014
00:47:16,880 --> 00:47:19,200
Speaker 2: it was more motivated than I would be now by

1015
00:47:19,680 --> 00:47:22,960
Speaker 2: everyone needs to see this. Yeah, So do you feel

1016
00:47:23,480 --> 00:47:26,560
Speaker 2: less pressure this time to get back to work?

1017
00:47:26,680 --> 00:47:28,719
Speaker 1: I agree, I yes, I do. This is what I

1018
00:47:28,760 --> 00:47:35,480
Speaker 1: meant to say. I I think even simply like the boundaries,

1019
00:47:35,600 --> 00:47:38,879
Speaker 1: I'm so much better at putting up boundaries, even when

1020
00:47:38,920 --> 00:47:40,799
Speaker 1: it has come back to these work commitments that we've

1021
00:47:40,800 --> 00:47:43,360
Speaker 1: had that have come up that are exciting, and you know,

1022
00:47:43,480 --> 00:47:46,000
Speaker 1: as a business owner, it can't stop just because I'm

1023
00:47:46,000 --> 00:47:48,200
Speaker 1: on Matt leave, Like things need to keep moving right,

1024
00:47:48,680 --> 00:47:52,040
Speaker 1: and so whilst I am technically on Matt leave, you know,

1025
00:47:52,160 --> 00:47:54,960
Speaker 1: some of these things that have come up weren't necessarily

1026
00:47:55,000 --> 00:47:56,880
Speaker 1: going to happen before I was on Matt leave, and

1027
00:47:56,960 --> 00:47:58,880
Speaker 1: so you know it is now, it is what it is.

1028
00:47:59,600 --> 00:48:03,359
Speaker 1: I've all felt really comfortable and being like you know what,

1029
00:48:03,360 --> 00:48:05,239
Speaker 1: I'm going to do that one virtually, like that meeting,

1030
00:48:05,360 --> 00:48:07,759
Speaker 1: I'm going to be at home or yes, okay, I

1031
00:48:07,760 --> 00:48:09,640
Speaker 1: can do that meeting, but can it be between ten

1032
00:48:09,680 --> 00:48:11,960
Speaker 1: and three? Like you know, I'm like, I don't want

1033
00:48:12,000 --> 00:48:14,120
Speaker 1: to be stuck in traffic with a screaming new one

1034
00:48:14,160 --> 00:48:16,319
Speaker 1: in the car because she's coming everywhere with me at

1035
00:48:16,320 --> 00:48:18,680
Speaker 1: the moment. And yeah, I can do that, but I'll

1036
00:48:18,719 --> 00:48:20,560
Speaker 1: be wearing her during the entire meeting, so I'll probably

1037
00:48:20,560 --> 00:48:22,279
Speaker 1: be pacing back and forth. So like I'm a lot

1038
00:48:22,520 --> 00:48:26,120
Speaker 1: more comfortable with being like yes, but yeah or even

1039
00:48:26,160 --> 00:48:29,040
Speaker 1: though whereas first time around, I think I really wanted

1040
00:48:29,080 --> 00:48:32,920
Speaker 1: to show that yeah, like I'm doing it doing and

1041
00:48:32,960 --> 00:48:35,760
Speaker 1: it's like you want this like metal of like Whereas

1042
00:48:35,920 --> 00:48:40,239
Speaker 1: I think it's so cool if you can be so

1043
00:48:40,400 --> 00:48:43,959
Speaker 1: comfortable with saying no, yeah, I admire that so much.

1044
00:48:44,080 --> 00:48:46,759
Speaker 1: Like even when I'm yeah, trying to catch up with

1045
00:48:46,800 --> 00:48:49,560
Speaker 1: a friend or whatever if they've got the you know what,

1046
00:48:49,719 --> 00:48:52,800
Speaker 1: I'm just I really need this weekend with no plans

1047
00:48:53,000 --> 00:48:55,439
Speaker 1: because I need some meytime. I can go off.

1048
00:48:55,480 --> 00:48:56,160
Speaker 2: Oh I love it.

1049
00:48:56,200 --> 00:49:00,600
Speaker 1: Thank you for your honesty. Yeah you're saying that's so

1050
00:49:00,760 --> 00:49:03,880
Speaker 1: much better. Yeah, cause I get it. So, yeah, I

1051
00:49:03,880 --> 00:49:06,480
Speaker 1: think it's different in that way that the decisions are

1052
00:49:06,560 --> 00:49:09,160
Speaker 1: less calculated and more like what do I actually want?

1053
00:49:09,239 --> 00:49:12,520
Speaker 2: Yeah? What do you feel? Yeah? That's really interesting. What

1054
00:49:12,640 --> 00:49:15,840
Speaker 2: about I think another thing having had a platform for

1055
00:49:15,880 --> 00:49:19,439
Speaker 2: so long that I've found not challenging, just a really

1056
00:49:19,480 --> 00:49:22,000
Speaker 2: interesting thing that no other generation has really faced before.

1057
00:49:22,080 --> 00:49:25,040
Speaker 2: That you do bring people along for the ride with

1058
00:49:25,120 --> 00:49:28,040
Speaker 2: every new chapter, and it's kind of sometimes hard to

1059
00:49:28,120 --> 00:49:30,719
Speaker 2: change your mind because you're like, everyone's following me because

1060
00:49:30,719 --> 00:49:33,640
Speaker 2: I did this and now I'm doing this. So you

1061
00:49:33,719 --> 00:49:36,520
Speaker 2: haven't been posting Billy or as you did post Harvey

1062
00:49:36,560 --> 00:49:38,360
Speaker 2: for a really long time. And I actually remember I

1063
00:49:38,480 --> 00:49:42,000
Speaker 2: asked you. I think it was a week or something

1064
00:49:42,080 --> 00:49:44,880
Speaker 2: after you had just stopped sharing Harvey, but I hadn't.

1065
00:49:44,920 --> 00:49:46,600
Speaker 2: I didn't know that you'd stopped, and so I was

1066
00:49:46,640 --> 00:49:48,120
Speaker 2: sort of having them all this like oh my god,

1067
00:49:48,160 --> 00:49:50,920
Speaker 2: what I do and like remember yeah, And you were like, well,

1068
00:49:50,960 --> 00:49:52,520
Speaker 2: actually I've just stopped, and I was like, oh my god,

1069
00:49:52,520 --> 00:49:54,640
Speaker 2: Well tell me everything about your decision, because I'm in

1070
00:49:54,680 --> 00:49:57,759
Speaker 2: that place as well. And it is a really difficult

1071
00:49:58,360 --> 00:50:01,160
Speaker 2: area when it is so you used to sharing everything,

1072
00:50:01,320 --> 00:50:04,240
Speaker 2: every part you really have but you've done it differently

1073
00:50:04,239 --> 00:50:04,640
Speaker 2: this time.

1074
00:50:04,719 --> 00:50:05,160
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1075
00:50:05,320 --> 00:50:08,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, how's that felt? And like what brought it up? Yeah?

1076
00:50:08,480 --> 00:50:12,680
Speaker 1: So I think like, first of all, I am so

1077
00:50:12,840 --> 00:50:16,279
Speaker 1: used to sharing literally everything of my life, like the

1078
00:50:16,360 --> 00:50:19,520
Speaker 1: ups and downs and everything in between, and so sharing

1079
00:50:19,560 --> 00:50:22,080
Speaker 1: Harvey was so natural for me. I didn't even think

1080
00:50:22,120 --> 00:50:26,040
Speaker 1: about it, to be honest, And it was more like

1081
00:50:26,200 --> 00:50:29,560
Speaker 1: for me, the biggest eye opening moment was when he

1082
00:50:29,640 --> 00:50:32,640
Speaker 1: started to get recognized when we were out. I kind

1083
00:50:32,680 --> 00:50:34,400
Speaker 1: of understood it when I was with him, but what

1084
00:50:34,520 --> 00:50:36,600
Speaker 1: started to happen was my mum would be on a

1085
00:50:36,640 --> 00:50:39,280
Speaker 1: walk with him and when he was approach out a cafe,

1086
00:50:39,400 --> 00:50:42,720
Speaker 1: yeah okay, and so it would be like is that Harvey,

1087
00:50:42,800 --> 00:50:44,560
Speaker 1: or like is that step closes? And I was like

1088
00:50:44,719 --> 00:50:47,200
Speaker 1: that's not okay. Like number one, how confusing for this

1089
00:50:47,320 --> 00:50:49,359
Speaker 1: child to have someone come up and know his name.

1090
00:50:49,600 --> 00:50:53,120
Speaker 1: He's a complete stranger. It also was like that's really unsafe.

1091
00:50:53,520 --> 00:50:56,239
Speaker 1: But I just was like really uncomfortable with that, and

1092
00:50:56,640 --> 00:50:59,719
Speaker 1: I felt like, yeah, he was becoming quite recognizable and

1093
00:50:59,760 --> 00:51:01,880
Speaker 1: he was really growing into his own and he was

1094
00:51:01,920 --> 00:51:04,200
Speaker 1: probably gonna have the same face now for at least

1095
00:51:04,239 --> 00:51:05,839
Speaker 1: like the next five years or ten years or whatever.

1096
00:51:06,360 --> 00:51:08,879
Speaker 1: So I was like, Okay, that was the biggest thing

1097
00:51:08,880 --> 00:51:10,880
Speaker 1: for me. And then also just learning more about like

1098
00:51:10,960 --> 00:51:13,120
Speaker 1: what was happening on the Internet and stuff like that,

1099
00:51:13,200 --> 00:51:15,040
Speaker 1: and like how much I felt comfortable because I did

1100
00:51:15,080 --> 00:51:18,239
Speaker 1: I reckon I overshared him. But again, it's it's so

1101
00:51:18,480 --> 00:51:23,759
Speaker 1: hard I think for non content creators who don't share

1102
00:51:23,800 --> 00:51:27,920
Speaker 1: so much of their life, it's really hard to relate

1103
00:51:28,680 --> 00:51:32,040
Speaker 1: to holding back, especially when you're with them all the

1104
00:51:32,080 --> 00:51:34,640
Speaker 1: time and it's a big part of your life. I

1105
00:51:34,680 --> 00:51:37,279
Speaker 1: didn't really know how else to share that side of

1106
00:51:37,320 --> 00:51:38,640
Speaker 1: my life if he wasn't in it.

1107
00:51:38,680 --> 00:51:40,919
Speaker 2: And also you're like, this is the cutest thing I've

1108
00:51:40,880 --> 00:51:41,279
Speaker 2: never seen.

1109
00:51:43,000 --> 00:51:46,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, what I made exactly. So I think when it

1110
00:51:46,880 --> 00:51:51,319
Speaker 1: came to Billy, it was more just it just felt like, yes,

1111
00:51:51,360 --> 00:51:54,520
Speaker 1: she's changing every week, like she's not recognizable or whatever.

1112
00:51:55,120 --> 00:51:57,280
Speaker 1: But I just feel like, because I'd made that decision

1113
00:51:57,280 --> 00:52:00,320
Speaker 1: already for Harvey, and I was already kind of blocking

1114
00:52:00,360 --> 00:52:03,000
Speaker 1: him out in ways, I was getting used to navigating

1115
00:52:03,080 --> 00:52:05,720
Speaker 1: that that I might as well just start that way

1116
00:52:05,760 --> 00:52:08,719
Speaker 1: with Billy, I will say as well, Like a part

1117
00:52:08,719 --> 00:52:11,040
Speaker 1: of it was also knowing I was one hundred percent

1118
00:52:11,080 --> 00:52:13,560
Speaker 1: going to get shit if I started sharing Billy's face

1119
00:52:13,719 --> 00:52:16,080
Speaker 1: and people would be like, but you block Harvey's face,

1120
00:52:16,120 --> 00:52:18,040
Speaker 1: so you're just gonna plaster her on the internet, Like,

1121
00:52:18,160 --> 00:52:19,640
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna lie. That was definitely part of my

1122
00:52:19,680 --> 00:52:22,200
Speaker 1: decision as well. But yeah, I think at the end

1123
00:52:22,239 --> 00:52:23,759
Speaker 1: of the day, it was just I'd gotten used to

1124
00:52:24,120 --> 00:52:28,040
Speaker 1: navigating how I could share him without sharing his face,

1125
00:52:28,239 --> 00:52:29,960
Speaker 1: and I was like, I could probably do that for Billy,

1126
00:52:30,000 --> 00:52:32,640
Speaker 1: Like why not? That was pretty much as deep as

1127
00:52:32,640 --> 00:52:32,879
Speaker 1: I went.

1128
00:52:33,400 --> 00:52:36,839
Speaker 2: Yeah, Yeah, I think we're fast approaching that chapter where

1129
00:52:36,840 --> 00:52:39,359
Speaker 2: I'm like same, Like I feel like I probably now

1130
00:52:39,360 --> 00:52:41,000
Speaker 2: that I reflect on it, I'm like, wow, I've shared

1131
00:52:41,040 --> 00:52:41,960
Speaker 2: a lot of his life.

1132
00:52:41,960 --> 00:52:43,319
Speaker 1: But you're allowed to change your mind. As you said

1133
00:52:43,320 --> 00:52:45,799
Speaker 1: at the start, I think we need to give like

1134
00:52:45,880 --> 00:52:49,040
Speaker 1: people who we follow online, they're allowed to make their

1135
00:52:49,040 --> 00:52:52,800
Speaker 1: own decisions to our conversation before the type of content

1136
00:52:52,840 --> 00:52:54,480
Speaker 1: that they share, or like the phase of life that

1137
00:52:54,520 --> 00:52:56,279
Speaker 1: they're in, Like they're allowed to change their minds on

1138
00:52:56,320 --> 00:52:59,320
Speaker 1: what their feed looks like. And I think his parents

1139
00:52:59,320 --> 00:53:02,560
Speaker 1: were allowed to change our minds on sleep training or

1140
00:53:02,640 --> 00:53:05,200
Speaker 1: like whether or not we're co sleeping, or like how

1141
00:53:05,200 --> 00:53:07,560
Speaker 1: we feed or if we share our kids online. I

1142
00:53:07,600 --> 00:53:10,960
Speaker 1: think you're allowed to navigate that and change your mind,

1143
00:53:11,239 --> 00:53:15,040
Speaker 1: and whether people agree with you or like it or not,

1144
00:53:15,200 --> 00:53:18,719
Speaker 1: like that kind of is what it is, and you

1145
00:53:18,760 --> 00:53:20,440
Speaker 1: still just need to make the decision for yourself and

1146
00:53:20,520 --> 00:53:21,000
Speaker 1: your family.

1147
00:53:21,160 --> 00:53:23,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I think it's it almost feels like not

1148
00:53:24,000 --> 00:53:28,879
Speaker 2: even changing my mind, because it's more that the considerations

1149
00:53:28,960 --> 00:53:31,160
Speaker 2: change at a certain age, like saying with you, it's

1150
00:53:31,200 --> 00:53:33,200
Speaker 2: like I think once it gets to like eighteen months,

1151
00:53:33,200 --> 00:53:36,160
Speaker 2: two years, yeah, he's got a more permanent face. I

1152
00:53:36,160 --> 00:53:38,400
Speaker 2: think that's what it is, get it. And I think

1153
00:53:38,440 --> 00:53:40,120
Speaker 2: now I look back at photos that I did share,

1154
00:53:40,160 --> 00:53:42,800
Speaker 2: and I'm like, it doesn't look anything like that. Yeah,

1155
00:53:42,840 --> 00:53:44,839
Speaker 2: So I feel okay about those being out there.

1156
00:53:44,920 --> 00:53:46,680
Speaker 1: And I think what the argument that a lot of

1157
00:53:46,680 --> 00:53:49,320
Speaker 1: people have as well, over like them having like autonomy

1158
00:53:49,320 --> 00:53:51,520
Speaker 1: on like what you share and stuff as well. I

1159
00:53:51,520 --> 00:53:53,560
Speaker 1: think like it's a bit different once your kids, like

1160
00:53:54,160 --> 00:53:57,279
Speaker 1: in kindergarten and regularly seeing the same kids or at

1161
00:53:57,280 --> 00:53:59,600
Speaker 1: school or whatever, like what you share, I can see

1162
00:53:59,640 --> 00:54:01,879
Speaker 1: how that would like affect them or be like yeah,

1163
00:54:02,000 --> 00:54:05,640
Speaker 1: your mom said, yeah, yeah, yeah, you know, Like I

1164
00:54:05,680 --> 00:54:08,360
Speaker 1: get it. But I think when they're babies, like I

1165
00:54:08,400 --> 00:54:10,440
Speaker 1: think about if my parents had the Internet.

1166
00:54:10,640 --> 00:54:11,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's how I measure it.

1167
00:54:11,680 --> 00:54:12,840
Speaker 1: That's how I think about it. I'm like, if my

1168
00:54:12,840 --> 00:54:15,640
Speaker 1: parents had the Internet and I knew that they were

1169
00:54:15,680 --> 00:54:18,560
Speaker 1: sharing me as like a baby, I wouldn't be like

1170
00:54:18,600 --> 00:54:19,200
Speaker 1: what the fuck?

1171
00:54:19,360 --> 00:54:21,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'd beel like that's a really cute photo, like yeah,

1172
00:54:21,120 --> 00:54:24,279
Speaker 2: it was so cute. Yeah, I get it, you know, like, wow,

1173
00:54:24,280 --> 00:54:26,360
Speaker 2: why didn't you share more? Why are the two photos

1174
00:54:26,400 --> 00:54:31,200
Speaker 2: of me in the nineties? Like I want way more? Yeah, gosh,

1175
00:54:31,239 --> 00:54:32,239
Speaker 2: it's a really interesting one.

1176
00:54:32,280 --> 00:54:32,560
Speaker 1: I think.

1177
00:54:32,680 --> 00:54:34,319
Speaker 2: I think we are getting to that stage of like

1178
00:54:34,400 --> 00:54:37,200
Speaker 2: his face is becoming more permanent and he will be

1179
00:54:37,239 --> 00:54:39,360
Speaker 2: out and about more without us. But I think before

1180
00:54:39,400 --> 00:54:41,680
Speaker 2: that it has felt the same, as you said, like

1181
00:54:41,760 --> 00:54:45,120
Speaker 2: really natural. But yeah, it's it's interesting how things change

1182
00:54:45,120 --> 00:54:47,040
Speaker 2: as you go along and giving yourself grace to have

1183
00:54:47,120 --> 00:54:50,839
Speaker 2: a different, a different new opinion. There is a really

1184
00:54:50,880 --> 00:54:53,040
Speaker 2: random one. I have so many questions, like I could

1185
00:54:53,080 --> 00:54:55,319
Speaker 2: literally speak to you for hours and hours, but one

1186
00:54:55,400 --> 00:54:59,239
Speaker 2: that is like so random. But I have struggled with

1187
00:54:59,239 --> 00:55:01,560
Speaker 2: it a lot, and it's trivial, but it's also not

1188
00:55:02,040 --> 00:55:04,920
Speaker 2: what are you doing for memory management? So for people

1189
00:55:04,960 --> 00:55:08,560
Speaker 2: who like take a bajillion photos of.

1190
00:55:08,560 --> 00:55:10,280
Speaker 1: Our children to say vaginant.

1191
00:55:10,360 --> 00:55:13,360
Speaker 2: Yes. Actually, that's why I stopped myself because I was like,

1192
00:55:14,719 --> 00:55:17,080
Speaker 2: I haven't asked as many vagina questions as I thought

1193
00:55:17,080 --> 00:55:19,000
Speaker 2: that I want to be honest, I thought we'd go

1194
00:55:19,080 --> 00:55:20,880
Speaker 2: into that a bit more then we can finish on

1195
00:55:20,880 --> 00:55:24,719
Speaker 2: a vagina questions. But memory management has been something that

1196
00:55:24,880 --> 00:55:27,319
Speaker 2: I kind of wish I was more organized from day one,

1197
00:55:28,000 --> 00:55:35,480
Speaker 2: because now I have like one virgillion. They are not organized.

1198
00:55:35,520 --> 00:55:37,719
Speaker 2: I mean they partly are. I had the best intentions,

1199
00:55:37,920 --> 00:55:41,040
Speaker 2: but I haven't done any albums. I haven't done like

1200
00:55:41,239 --> 00:55:44,120
Speaker 2: backing up in the right order. I've done some, but

1201
00:55:44,640 --> 00:55:47,920
Speaker 2: I think when I get to hopefully if we get

1202
00:55:47,920 --> 00:55:51,440
Speaker 2: to round two, like I would try and organize my

1203
00:55:51,560 --> 00:55:56,520
Speaker 2: content and differently, what have you done from memory management?

1204
00:55:56,520 --> 00:55:57,840
Speaker 2: Like again, it sounds like such a weird thing, but

1205
00:55:57,880 --> 00:55:59,200
Speaker 2: I post a story about it, and I think I

1206
00:55:59,200 --> 00:56:01,400
Speaker 2: had more replies about that than any of the other stuff,

1207
00:56:01,400 --> 00:56:04,440
Speaker 2: because every mom is like, fuck I have it's so true,

1208
00:56:04,560 --> 00:56:06,640
Speaker 2: so much storage? When I change phones? Like what am

1209
00:56:06,680 --> 00:56:08,560
Speaker 2: I going to do with all these photos? Do you

1210
00:56:08,719 --> 00:56:11,840
Speaker 2: organize them? Do you file them? Do you print them?

1211
00:56:11,480 --> 00:56:12,200
Speaker 1: Yeah?

1212
00:56:12,239 --> 00:56:12,840
Speaker 2: Like what do you do?

1213
00:56:12,960 --> 00:56:15,000
Speaker 1: True? I think, And it was also funny because I

1214
00:56:15,000 --> 00:56:17,239
Speaker 1: remember I think one of my favorite pastimes is going

1215
00:56:17,239 --> 00:56:19,920
Speaker 1: through my family photo albums. Yeah, like I freaking love it,

1216
00:56:20,040 --> 00:56:21,200
Speaker 1: and I love none.

1217
00:56:20,960 --> 00:56:23,399
Speaker 2: For Teddy, it's just like, here, have a phone, look

1218
00:56:23,440 --> 00:56:25,880
Speaker 2: through all the pictures of your panadols, so I know

1219
00:56:25,920 --> 00:56:27,400
Speaker 2: what time you took it. It's so true.

1220
00:56:27,440 --> 00:56:29,879
Speaker 1: But the thing is is I bought like the old

1221
00:56:29,920 --> 00:56:32,920
Speaker 1: school albums with the best intention to actually feel them. Right.

1222
00:56:33,480 --> 00:56:36,520
Speaker 1: Difference is back then they'd take like one photo a month.

1223
00:56:36,800 --> 00:56:39,480
Speaker 5: Yeah, I'm taking like fifty a day, so like, how

1224
00:56:40,160 --> 00:56:42,840
Speaker 5: so quickly the album was filled and it was like

1225
00:56:43,440 --> 00:56:45,799
Speaker 5: of two weeks and I'm okay, this is so I'm

1226
00:56:45,840 --> 00:56:47,040
Speaker 5: not using this in the right way.

1227
00:56:47,560 --> 00:56:49,960
Speaker 1: So that kind of went very quickly. But no, I

1228
00:56:50,040 --> 00:56:52,960
Speaker 1: found actually when it comes to like actually like physical

1229
00:56:53,200 --> 00:56:56,759
Speaker 1: ways of seeing photos. Oh, what's it called. It's I

1230
00:56:56,800 --> 00:56:59,840
Speaker 1: think it's called chatbooks. This is not sponsored. Ah, just

1231
00:57:00,000 --> 00:57:02,320
Speaker 1: outloaded the I can found it. But it's called chatbooks.

1232
00:57:02,360 --> 00:57:05,359
Speaker 1: And I think I spend ten dollars a month and

1233
00:57:05,440 --> 00:57:09,279
Speaker 1: I get this little mini book. It comes in the

1234
00:57:09,320 --> 00:57:12,920
Speaker 1: mail and you just put in like thirty odd images

1235
00:57:12,960 --> 00:57:16,040
Speaker 1: from the month, and then you just get this little

1236
00:57:16,040 --> 00:57:18,120
Speaker 1: book of like thirty images and I've been doing that

1237
00:57:18,160 --> 00:57:20,360
Speaker 1: with Harvey since he was about eighteen months old. So

1238
00:57:20,400 --> 00:57:22,520
Speaker 1: I've got like this little just like these tiny little

1239
00:57:22,520 --> 00:57:25,560
Speaker 1: books all like lined up. But yeah, there's like thirty

1240
00:57:25,600 --> 00:57:27,800
Speaker 1: images from the month, which for us is quite easy

1241
00:57:27,840 --> 00:57:28,160
Speaker 1: to fill.

1242
00:57:28,480 --> 00:57:30,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, oh my god, that's like like the last half an.

1243
00:57:30,760 --> 00:57:34,680
Speaker 1: Hour, I have thirty photos. And so yeah, that's been

1244
00:57:34,680 --> 00:57:37,720
Speaker 1: my way of like still having something physical that I

1245
00:57:37,760 --> 00:57:39,800
Speaker 1: don't know. I hope that he enjoys the look back

1246
00:57:39,840 --> 00:57:42,560
Speaker 1: on one day. If not, I will it's like my

1247
00:57:42,560 --> 00:57:43,800
Speaker 1: modern day photo album.

1248
00:57:43,840 --> 00:57:45,880
Speaker 2: No, I'm so glad I asked that, because that's such

1249
00:57:45,920 --> 00:57:46,520
Speaker 2: a good one for.

1250
00:57:46,520 --> 00:57:48,120
Speaker 1: You, right, And I mean, like I can stop the

1251
00:57:48,120 --> 00:57:50,640
Speaker 1: subscription at any point and stop doing it, but I

1252
00:57:50,680 --> 00:57:52,640
Speaker 1: really enjoy getting them. And he's kind of now he

1253
00:57:52,800 --> 00:57:55,280
Speaker 1: likes going to the mailbox and saying, you know them.

1254
00:57:55,720 --> 00:57:58,600
Speaker 1: But I think when it comes to digitally, none of

1255
00:57:58,640 --> 00:58:01,760
Speaker 1: that is organized. I really need to get on top

1256
00:58:01,800 --> 00:58:05,200
Speaker 1: of that. So if anyone listening kinds with any great ideas,

1257
00:58:05,840 --> 00:58:08,600
Speaker 1: I'll be asking for an update, because yeah, at the moment,

1258
00:58:08,920 --> 00:58:11,520
Speaker 1: I mean I just I think of like something that

1259
00:58:11,600 --> 00:58:13,200
Speaker 1: might have happened, and I just have to scroll back

1260
00:58:13,200 --> 00:58:16,320
Speaker 1: to that month and then go through a bazillion a bazillion. Yeah,

1261
00:58:16,400 --> 00:58:17,200
Speaker 1: but it's entire.

1262
00:58:20,880 --> 00:58:25,360
Speaker 2: Answer digitally. Yeah. I like that physically, yeah, yeah, because

1263
00:58:25,360 --> 00:58:27,520
Speaker 2: I feel like we really don't have any What I've

1264
00:58:27,560 --> 00:58:30,680
Speaker 2: been trying to do is on my phone. I have

1265
00:58:30,720 --> 00:58:33,320
Speaker 2: a separate folder called print, and then I have one

1266
00:58:33,360 --> 00:58:35,520
Speaker 2: for special videos. And so the ones that aren't just

1267
00:58:35,600 --> 00:58:37,040
Speaker 2: like it every day one like the first time he

1268
00:58:37,120 --> 00:58:40,360
Speaker 2: walked or the first time he said Dad, they're all

1269
00:58:40,360 --> 00:58:43,320
Speaker 2: in a different folder. So good. Yeah, My aim is

1270
00:58:43,440 --> 00:58:47,040
Speaker 2: like back up those, so at least the really special

1271
00:58:47,040 --> 00:58:49,400
Speaker 2: one on that's but I haven't done it. I mean

1272
00:58:49,400 --> 00:58:51,120
Speaker 2: it's sixteen months. I haven't done anything with them. But

1273
00:58:51,120 --> 00:58:52,520
Speaker 2: at least I'm sorting as I go.

1274
00:58:52,680 --> 00:58:54,880
Speaker 1: That's good. That's way better than what I'm doing.

1275
00:58:55,040 --> 00:58:57,000
Speaker 2: Yeah. But is though, because they're still just there, like

1276
00:58:57,080 --> 00:59:00,440
Speaker 2: I have done anything with them, Like I.

1277
00:59:00,360 --> 00:59:03,280
Speaker 1: Don't know, would you use Google drive, drop box or

1278
00:59:03,280 --> 00:59:05,120
Speaker 1: I'll find a hard drive? Like do we what do

1279
00:59:05,200 --> 00:59:05,720
Speaker 1: we do with them?

1280
00:59:05,880 --> 00:59:06,080
Speaker 4: Yeah?

1281
00:59:06,400 --> 00:59:08,680
Speaker 2: And that's like why I'm like, people, please tell me

1282
00:59:08,680 --> 00:59:11,400
Speaker 2: your answers, because surely someone has like what it. I mean,

1283
00:59:11,440 --> 00:59:15,000
Speaker 2: I would be devastated if my phone now oh same, So,

1284
00:59:15,240 --> 00:59:17,520
Speaker 2: like what do I do anyway, someone please write in

1285
00:59:17,600 --> 00:59:18,680
Speaker 2: and tell us the answer, because.

1286
00:59:18,480 --> 00:59:20,400
Speaker 1: It's don't just say the chout because I don't understand that.

1287
00:59:20,560 --> 00:59:23,120
Speaker 2: Yeah me, and it makes me stress. We are so millennial.

1288
00:59:23,280 --> 00:59:25,000
Speaker 2: I'm like, no, I need to also have it on

1289
00:59:25,000 --> 00:59:27,960
Speaker 2: a physical heard. Do you print out when you like

1290
00:59:28,000 --> 00:59:30,160
Speaker 2: get a receipt or like your itinery or something. Do

1291
00:59:30,200 --> 00:59:32,320
Speaker 2: you like have to screenshot things to make surely?

1292
00:59:32,600 --> 00:59:33,640
Speaker 1: Yeah? Absolutely absolutely?

1293
00:59:33,720 --> 00:59:33,880
Speaker 4: Yeah?

1294
00:59:33,960 --> 00:59:35,840
Speaker 2: Right, good, Okay, so we're in the same era. I

1295
00:59:35,880 --> 00:59:40,000
Speaker 2: can't trust anything online. Okay, last question, because I've like

1296
00:59:40,120 --> 00:59:43,240
Speaker 2: gone through this hour Onchinas, I'm literally going to have

1297
00:59:43,280 --> 00:59:46,760
Speaker 2: to finish on Vaginas. So I randomly found in one

1298
00:59:46,800 --> 00:59:48,760
Speaker 2: of it. I think it was the October twenty twenty

1299
00:59:48,840 --> 00:59:53,480
Speaker 2: two episode about matching your partner's libido, and I think

1300
00:59:53,520 --> 00:59:56,280
Speaker 2: we have a chat about ginas. Yeah, vaginas, right, so

1301
00:59:56,640 --> 00:59:59,760
Speaker 2: you will like I find it really interesting that you

1302
00:59:59,800 --> 01:00:02,840
Speaker 2: have always thought that your libido was lower than average

1303
01:00:03,040 --> 01:00:05,160
Speaker 2: and worried about that, and that was three years ago

1304
01:00:05,480 --> 01:00:11,520
Speaker 2: in post Harvey. How was your return to using your

1305
01:00:11,640 --> 01:00:17,280
Speaker 2: virgillion the first time versus now and did you ever

1306
01:00:17,400 --> 01:00:21,200
Speaker 2: kind of resume your normal sex life before like trying

1307
01:00:21,240 --> 01:00:24,680
Speaker 2: your kind of on the clock, which becomes really clinical again,

1308
01:00:24,760 --> 01:00:26,400
Speaker 2: So did you ever kind of get your groove back

1309
01:00:26,480 --> 01:00:29,640
Speaker 2: before you went back? And how's your recovery been this

1310
01:00:29,680 --> 01:00:30,720
Speaker 2: time versus last time?

1311
01:00:30,840 --> 01:00:36,320
Speaker 1: So I think the first time I had different things

1312
01:00:36,360 --> 01:00:39,280
Speaker 1: going on. I had bladder prolapse, which just made me

1313
01:00:39,320 --> 01:00:43,959
Speaker 1: feel a little not so great. I definitely things coming

1314
01:00:44,000 --> 01:00:49,320
Speaker 1: out of there, so let's not do that. And I

1315
01:00:49,360 --> 01:00:52,240
Speaker 1: was also like really paranoid about getting pregnant. I don't

1316
01:00:52,240 --> 01:00:55,800
Speaker 1: know stories of like well before I even got my period,

1317
01:00:55,840 --> 01:00:58,200
Speaker 1: I got pregnant it. I was like, oh, I don't

1318
01:00:58,240 --> 01:01:01,040
Speaker 1: want to do that. So I went on to contraception

1319
01:01:01,640 --> 01:01:05,320
Speaker 1: very quickly first time around, and I honestly like Josh

1320
01:01:05,440 --> 01:01:07,160
Speaker 1: was asking me about it the other day. He was like,

1321
01:01:07,200 --> 01:01:08,000
Speaker 1: do you remember our first time?

1322
01:01:08,000 --> 01:01:08,480
Speaker 2: I have to have you?

1323
01:01:08,480 --> 01:01:12,080
Speaker 1: And I was like no. He's like, oh, I've been

1324
01:01:12,080 --> 01:01:13,800
Speaker 1: thinking about it. Can you remember this?

1325
01:01:13,840 --> 01:01:16,960
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I don't remember. I already don't remember, and

1326
01:01:17,000 --> 01:01:19,760
Speaker 2: it was like not that long over us, I don't remember.

1327
01:01:20,080 --> 01:01:23,280
Speaker 1: I don't. I think I kind of remember being nervous

1328
01:01:23,320 --> 01:01:25,560
Speaker 1: about it and like feeling a bit tense and stuff

1329
01:01:25,920 --> 01:01:28,720
Speaker 1: like this is be different. But I don't remember our

1330
01:01:28,720 --> 01:01:32,360
Speaker 1: first time, but he does cute. Josh, we haven't like

1331
01:01:32,400 --> 01:01:34,720
Speaker 1: im eight weeks postpart him now I've had the clearance

1332
01:01:34,720 --> 01:01:37,480
Speaker 1: that it's okay, but we haven't had sex. For me,

1333
01:01:38,520 --> 01:01:43,360
Speaker 1: I think I want to explore things myself before I

1334
01:01:43,400 --> 01:01:45,880
Speaker 1: do that. I think maybe from my memory of us

1335
01:01:45,920 --> 01:01:48,840
Speaker 1: getting back into it last time, I was really kind

1336
01:01:48,880 --> 01:01:51,840
Speaker 1: of like tense and like tighten up. And I think

1337
01:01:52,040 --> 01:01:55,640
Speaker 1: if I just had maybe spent some time with myself first,

1338
01:01:56,560 --> 01:01:59,600
Speaker 1: you know, in all the minutes by yourself exactly, I

1339
01:01:59,600 --> 01:02:02,479
Speaker 1: would have somewhat found more comfort in like letting something

1340
01:02:02,520 --> 01:02:06,479
Speaker 1: like that happen. And so I think this time around,

1341
01:02:06,480 --> 01:02:08,200
Speaker 1: I'm just kind of taking my time with that. But

1342
01:02:08,240 --> 01:02:11,680
Speaker 1: at the same time, even though my libido isn't where

1343
01:02:11,760 --> 01:02:14,080
Speaker 1: Joshes is, and what I've learned since is that it's

1344
01:02:14,120 --> 01:02:19,280
Speaker 1: not necessarily lower. It's I think it's reactive versus spontaneous

1345
01:02:19,400 --> 01:02:23,200
Speaker 1: or something like that. So he's very spontaneous you can

1346
01:02:23,200 --> 01:02:25,320
Speaker 1: think about sex and like be turned on, whereas like

1347
01:02:25,320 --> 01:02:26,000
Speaker 1: it's a boy thing.

1348
01:02:26,040 --> 01:02:26,840
Speaker 2: I think we.

1349
01:02:26,960 --> 01:02:31,360
Speaker 1: Need three stories to be read a book, I.

1350
01:02:31,280 --> 01:02:33,960
Speaker 2: Need a movie. But yeah, exact sex scene first.

1351
01:02:34,040 --> 01:02:38,320
Speaker 6: Totally and soon needs to be the house of Alpha

1352
01:02:39,360 --> 01:02:44,680
Speaker 6: no totally, and so yeah, like I'm sorry, but when

1353
01:02:44,880 --> 01:02:46,760
Speaker 6: he like rolls over it, and no matter.

1354
01:02:46,600 --> 01:02:49,280
Speaker 1: How cutie looks or like if I'm tired on my

1355
01:02:49,320 --> 01:02:51,000
Speaker 1: mind's not there, it's just like not going to happen

1356
01:02:51,040 --> 01:02:53,840
Speaker 1: for me. So that's what I've kind of learned, is

1357
01:02:53,840 --> 01:02:56,440
Speaker 1: that it's not like my libido's non existent. I just

1358
01:02:56,560 --> 01:02:58,960
Speaker 1: have to have different kind of full play to him,

1359
01:02:59,000 --> 01:03:02,040
Speaker 1: and like it doesn't come off and spontaneous. Sometimes it does,

1360
01:03:02,080 --> 01:03:04,919
Speaker 1: but it's very rare that I'll just like randomly feel

1361
01:03:04,920 --> 01:03:05,600
Speaker 1: like having sex.

1362
01:03:06,600 --> 01:03:09,000
Speaker 2: I that's a female thing. Like I just think that

1363
01:03:09,160 --> 01:03:14,919
Speaker 2: brands aren't as physically wired to just be like bang yeah.

1364
01:03:14,120 --> 01:03:17,080
Speaker 1: And so that in itself was hard to navigate. But

1365
01:03:17,200 --> 01:03:19,600
Speaker 1: what we actually did, I think it was probably after

1366
01:03:19,640 --> 01:03:23,040
Speaker 1: about six months of having sex again after Harvey, we

1367
01:03:23,080 --> 01:03:24,240
Speaker 1: did the thirty Day Challenge.

1368
01:03:25,200 --> 01:03:27,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's when I spoke to you. It was at

1369
01:03:27,400 --> 01:03:28,160
Speaker 2: the end of it.

1370
01:03:28,240 --> 01:03:30,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, so maybe it was a bit further along. I

1371
01:03:30,000 --> 01:03:31,760
Speaker 1: can't remember when exactly we did it, but we've been

1372
01:03:31,800 --> 01:03:33,520
Speaker 1: having sex. It wasn't like we went from not having

1373
01:03:33,520 --> 01:03:35,720
Speaker 1: sex to like, let's do a thirty day challenge. But

1374
01:03:35,840 --> 01:03:39,040
Speaker 1: for us that helped us find a little bit of

1375
01:03:39,040 --> 01:03:43,600
Speaker 1: a new rhythm and connect again, because I think what

1376
01:03:43,720 --> 01:03:48,560
Speaker 1: we found was the way you treat your partner when

1377
01:03:48,560 --> 01:03:50,640
Speaker 1: you know you have to have sex with them. I

1378
01:03:50,720 --> 01:03:53,440
Speaker 1: have to have sex with them. Oh my god, those words.

1379
01:03:53,240 --> 01:03:55,680
Speaker 2: It's true. It's true, like trying exactly.

1380
01:03:55,880 --> 01:03:58,880
Speaker 1: And so when you're trying to like find that spark again,

1381
01:03:58,920 --> 01:04:01,480
Speaker 1: I think knowing that, Okay, we're going to have sex

1382
01:04:01,480 --> 01:04:04,320
Speaker 1: today because we're in this challenge together, you're a.

1383
01:04:04,280 --> 01:04:05,200
Speaker 2: Little bit nicer.

1384
01:04:05,440 --> 01:04:07,760
Speaker 1: You're a little bit more like I'll cuddle you as

1385
01:04:07,760 --> 01:04:09,840
Speaker 1: I'm walking past the kitchen or whatever. Like there's those

1386
01:04:09,880 --> 01:04:11,439
Speaker 1: things like come to you a little bit more because

1387
01:04:11,480 --> 01:04:13,560
Speaker 1: you're conscious of the fact that you're gonna because otherwise,

1388
01:04:13,560 --> 01:04:15,480
Speaker 1: if you're like bickering all day and like you're talking

1389
01:04:15,520 --> 01:04:17,320
Speaker 1: about who did more laundry or whatever, and then you

1390
01:04:17,320 --> 01:04:18,640
Speaker 1: come to the end and you're like, oh fuck, we

1391
01:04:18,640 --> 01:04:19,320
Speaker 1: have to have sex.

1392
01:04:19,480 --> 01:04:22,400
Speaker 2: My hyman grows back. It's like I'm actually a virgin again. Yeah,

1393
01:04:22,400 --> 01:04:24,000
Speaker 2: it's just very closed over. Sorry.

1394
01:04:24,080 --> 01:04:27,960
Speaker 1: So I think that taught us like little touches here

1395
01:04:28,000 --> 01:04:30,120
Speaker 1: and there doesn't mean you have to have sexcept whole

1396
01:04:30,440 --> 01:04:34,120
Speaker 1: we do not have sex every day. It just meant

1397
01:04:34,160 --> 01:04:36,160
Speaker 1: that that we were still having those little connections and

1398
01:04:36,200 --> 01:04:38,000
Speaker 1: that's what the challenge I think brought back for us,

1399
01:04:38,000 --> 01:04:41,360
Speaker 1: which was really nice. Maybe we'll do it again sometime,

1400
01:04:41,440 --> 01:04:43,640
Speaker 1: I don't know, but yeah, this time around really easying

1401
01:04:43,680 --> 01:04:45,880
Speaker 1: back into it Josh. I've had to be really honest

1402
01:04:45,880 --> 01:04:47,760
Speaker 1: with Josh, Like a few times he's kind.

1403
01:04:47,600 --> 01:04:49,040
Speaker 2: Of like brought it up.

1404
01:04:49,080 --> 01:04:51,640
Speaker 1: He's been really supportive and like not wanting to rush it,

1405
01:04:51,720 --> 01:04:54,920
Speaker 1: but I've said to him that like even hearing that

1406
01:04:55,000 --> 01:04:58,320
Speaker 1: he is thinking is thinking about it, yeah, is somewhat

1407
01:04:59,080 --> 01:05:02,760
Speaker 1: like pressuring. Even I'm like, I know you're not and

1408
01:05:02,800 --> 01:05:04,880
Speaker 1: I know you wouldn't like you don't want to until

1409
01:05:04,920 --> 01:05:08,800
Speaker 1: I want to, which I appreciate, but it's still like

1410
01:05:08,840 --> 01:05:11,560
Speaker 1: I know you're ready, yeah, Like your body hasn't gone

1411
01:05:11,560 --> 01:05:16,200
Speaker 1: through what mine has, like it hasn't ripped open, pushed to.

1412
01:05:16,320 --> 01:05:19,320
Speaker 2: A baby as an actual human totally.

1413
01:05:19,000 --> 01:05:21,520
Speaker 1: And also the hormone shifts and stuff that I'm working with,

1414
01:05:21,760 --> 01:05:25,400
Speaker 1: Like it's so, yeah, I'm just not mentally there yet,

1415
01:05:25,480 --> 01:05:28,360
Speaker 1: and I will tell you or I'll like you'll know,

1416
01:05:28,640 --> 01:05:31,600
Speaker 1: I'll know, and and I know he's ready when I am,

1417
01:05:31,840 --> 01:05:34,440
Speaker 1: and that's fine, But it is this like balance of like,

1418
01:05:34,520 --> 01:05:37,080
Speaker 1: also I want to make sure that he's still kind

1419
01:05:37,120 --> 01:05:41,040
Speaker 1: of feeling wanted and I don't know, it's an interesting mouth,

1420
01:05:41,120 --> 01:05:43,840
Speaker 1: but we haven't yet. Maybe soon we'll see. I think

1421
01:05:43,840 --> 01:05:45,920
Speaker 1: we're going to move Billy out of our room. I

1422
01:05:45,920 --> 01:05:49,640
Speaker 1: think maybe next week or so. That probably help, and

1423
01:05:49,680 --> 01:05:52,040
Speaker 1: that I think I think that will help, you know,

1424
01:05:52,280 --> 01:05:54,680
Speaker 1: a bit of a barrier. Hearing something wriggling around the

1425
01:05:54,760 --> 01:05:57,280
Speaker 1: meter away doesn't really get.

1426
01:05:57,040 --> 01:05:59,120
Speaker 2: Me there fair enough.

1427
01:06:00,480 --> 01:06:02,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, so I will see. What I think is just

1428
01:06:02,880 --> 01:06:05,640
Speaker 1: everyone's really different. Like I've had friends that it was

1429
01:06:05,640 --> 01:06:09,960
Speaker 1: like six months before they even thought about having sex again.

1430
01:06:10,160 --> 01:06:13,720
Speaker 1: I think, yeah, you know, we just need to be

1431
01:06:13,880 --> 01:06:18,000
Speaker 1: patient with it. And I really do think the advice

1432
01:06:18,040 --> 01:06:20,720
Speaker 1: that I got from my health professionals in that, like,

1433
01:06:20,760 --> 01:06:25,600
Speaker 1: you know, work through stuff with yourself first, was really good.

1434
01:06:25,720 --> 01:06:28,520
Speaker 1: Not permission, but it was a really good idea because

1435
01:06:28,520 --> 01:06:30,680
Speaker 1: I think it allows us to kind of just find

1436
01:06:30,720 --> 01:06:33,920
Speaker 1: what we feel comfortable with and just know for sure

1437
01:06:34,080 --> 01:06:36,960
Speaker 1: that like, no, it's not going to hurt or anything,

1438
01:06:37,040 --> 01:06:40,440
Speaker 1: or maybe oh it is actually still tender. So I'm

1439
01:06:40,480 --> 01:06:42,280
Speaker 1: glad that I didn't try that with someone else, even

1440
01:06:42,280 --> 01:06:45,560
Speaker 1: though it's your partner. And yeah, yeah, you know, yeah,

1441
01:06:45,640 --> 01:06:48,240
Speaker 1: I think it's a good tip, but I haven't done yet.

1442
01:06:49,440 --> 01:06:51,240
Speaker 1: Josh was like, are you going to take you a vibrator?

1443
01:06:51,240 --> 01:06:52,840
Speaker 1: I was like, am I going to take my vibrator

1444
01:06:52,880 --> 01:06:53,600
Speaker 1: to whom? I mean?

1445
01:06:54,920 --> 01:06:55,160
Speaker 2: No?

1446
01:06:55,360 --> 01:06:58,280
Speaker 1: Probably not like when there's people were checking on me

1447
01:06:58,320 --> 01:07:00,640
Speaker 1: every twenty minutes and like making sure I've enough water,

1448
01:07:01,480 --> 01:07:03,080
Speaker 1: I don't think I want to say my vibrainer.

1449
01:07:04,480 --> 01:07:06,400
Speaker 2: Also, it's like, if I'm having time, I'm going to

1450
01:07:06,480 --> 01:07:13,000
Speaker 2: sleep exactly. Oh well, Steph, thank you so much as

1451
01:07:13,040 --> 01:07:16,080
Speaker 2: always for being so open and such a delight. I

1452
01:07:16,200 --> 01:07:18,320
Speaker 2: literally could have asked you, like a thousand more questions,

1453
01:07:18,520 --> 01:07:21,439
Speaker 2: jillion more questions. Virgillians are one in your favorite one.

1454
01:07:23,280 --> 01:07:25,600
Speaker 2: But we will have to do this again. I mean,

1455
01:07:25,680 --> 01:07:27,480
Speaker 2: are you thinking of having more? Do you want to

1456
01:07:27,520 --> 01:07:28,680
Speaker 2: have more? You even thought of that?

1457
01:07:29,000 --> 01:07:32,440
Speaker 1: It's we have. It's funny. It's like I don't think

1458
01:07:32,440 --> 01:07:34,840
Speaker 1: we're ready to make the full decision yet, but I

1459
01:07:35,440 --> 01:07:39,800
Speaker 1: think we're like eighty five percent sure that we're done. Yeah, okay,

1460
01:07:40,000 --> 01:07:41,560
Speaker 1: I think we're getting there. I think I need to

1461
01:07:41,560 --> 01:07:43,840
Speaker 1: get out of this, like her head smells like heaven,

1462
01:07:45,800 --> 01:07:49,800
Speaker 1: where my body is like go again, make it. And

1463
01:07:50,200 --> 01:07:51,720
Speaker 1: I mean I grew up with an older brother and

1464
01:07:51,800 --> 01:07:55,160
Speaker 1: I loved that dynamic of the two of us, so

1465
01:07:55,520 --> 01:07:58,880
Speaker 1: I'm yeah, more than happy, more than happy with the

1466
01:07:58,880 --> 01:08:00,240
Speaker 1: two of them.

1467
01:08:00,320 --> 01:08:00,959
Speaker 2: But we'll see.

1468
01:08:01,120 --> 01:08:04,280
Speaker 1: I don't know, but we'll have our.

1469
01:08:03,600 --> 01:08:07,400
Speaker 2: Normal three to five yearly re record with an update

1470
01:08:07,440 --> 01:08:09,800
Speaker 2: on either there will be another one. Maybe they won't be,

1471
01:08:09,960 --> 01:08:12,480
Speaker 2: there will be who knows, and maybe there'll be one

1472
01:08:12,560 --> 01:08:17,600
Speaker 2: for you I know, actually, yeah, that will be the

1473
01:08:17,640 --> 01:08:19,680
Speaker 2: next I've kind of done this leap program, so I

1474
01:08:19,680 --> 01:08:22,120
Speaker 2: feel like that would work. But I mean, isn't that

1475
01:08:22,200 --> 01:08:26,240
Speaker 2: the great beauty of this amazing life that you have

1476
01:08:26,320 --> 01:08:28,400
Speaker 2: no idea what we would be talking exactly three to

1477
01:08:28,400 --> 01:08:31,120
Speaker 2: five years. Yeah, that's kind of amazing. Yeah, thank you

1478
01:08:31,120 --> 01:08:34,599
Speaker 2: so much for sharing, and I hope you enjoy this

1479
01:08:34,840 --> 01:08:36,880
Speaker 2: incredible place for the rest of your stay.

1480
01:08:37,000 --> 01:08:39,040
Speaker 1: Oh my god, it's the best. Yeah, thank you.

1481
01:08:39,160 --> 01:08:41,479
Speaker 2: Oh, this one was so good for the soul. I

1482
01:08:41,479 --> 01:08:43,960
Speaker 2: hope you guys enjoyed it as much as we both did.

1483
01:08:44,720 --> 01:08:47,280
Speaker 2: There are parts of me that don't necessarily want motherhood

1484
01:08:47,280 --> 01:08:50,720
Speaker 2: to consume my entire identity, but I do just gravitate

1485
01:08:50,800 --> 01:08:55,519
Speaker 2: towards these validating, embracing conversations of solidarity, and I loved

1486
01:08:55,680 --> 01:08:58,559
Speaker 2: every minute of this with Stephie, particularly because we have

1487
01:08:58,640 --> 01:09:02,160
Speaker 2: shared so many chapters together. As mentioned, Steph has very

1488
01:09:02,240 --> 01:09:05,720
Speaker 2: kindly given us a code for kickapp. It's sees the

1489
01:09:06,200 --> 01:09:08,880
Speaker 2: no spaces for a month free when you sign up

1490
01:09:08,880 --> 01:09:11,400
Speaker 2: to kick on a monthly subscription. Check the show notes

1491
01:09:11,439 --> 01:09:14,800
Speaker 2: for the direct link and more details over there, and

1492
01:09:14,920 --> 01:09:17,479
Speaker 2: as always, if you enjoyed, please thanks Steph for her

1493
01:09:17,520 --> 01:09:20,800
Speaker 2: time and openness by sharing and tagging at Steph Claire

1494
01:09:20,800 --> 01:09:24,919
Speaker 2: Smith or at kickapp, showing her some love. In the meantime,

1495
01:09:25,120 --> 01:09:27,840
Speaker 2: much more to come for both streams of the show.

1496
01:09:27,920 --> 01:09:30,680
Speaker 2: It is all systems go over here. I hope you're

1497
01:09:30,720 --> 01:09:58,759
Speaker 2: having a wonderful week and us seizing your ya