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Speaker 1: You're listening to a Muma Mia podcast. Mamma Mia acknowledges

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Speaker 1: the traditional owners of land and waters that this podcast

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Speaker 1: is recorded on Well, Hi there, friends, it's Claire Murphy

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Speaker 1: here back in your feed today to drop an episode

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Speaker 1: that I was given the privilege of hosting over on

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Speaker 1: Mamma MIA's No Filter show. Back in twenty twenty three,

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Speaker 1: I spoke to Kath Koschel, the founder of the Kindness Factory,

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Speaker 1: a driver of paying it forward and spreading joy and

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Speaker 1: support across her community. Now, Kathy's story is pretty intense.

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Speaker 1: She's come from the deepest darkest depths of despair more

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Speaker 1: than once and has managed to find the light each

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Speaker 1: and every time, from losing her ability to walk twice

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Speaker 1: to losing two of her biggest loves, the sport she

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Speaker 1: excelled in and the man she fell for. Kath, who

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Speaker 1: would shy away? I think, from being called an inspiration,

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Speaker 1: has the ability to find positivity in the face of

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Speaker 1: adversity like no one I have ever met. That's why

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Speaker 1: it came as no surprise found out recently that she

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Speaker 1: has been named the New South Wales Australian of the

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Speaker 1: Year for twenty twenty five. Congratulations, Kath, So strap yourselves

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Speaker 1: in and listen to this wild ride episode of No Filter.

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Speaker 1: I'm Claire Murphy and this is No Filter. How many

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Speaker 1: times in your life have you received a piece of

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Speaker 1: life changing, world shattering news? Once? Maybe twice if you're unlucky.

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Speaker 1: Kath Koshaal is a fairly ordinary Australian, well if you

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Speaker 1: ignore the fact that she'd worked her butt off to

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Speaker 1: become a professional cricket player. But the amount of times

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Speaker 1: she's been delivered that type of life changing, world shattering

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Speaker 1: news is far from ordinary. A series of events played

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Speaker 1: out in Kat's life which you honestly truly have to

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Speaker 1: hear to believe, Like, surely someone can't be that unlucky.

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Speaker 1: But over the course of a few years, she received

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Speaker 1: more bad news than anyone should have to endure. I

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Speaker 1: like that very dramatical lead into Cat's story. It's actually

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Speaker 1: not a tale of tragedy at all, far from it.

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Speaker 1: Her story is about resilience and ultimately a level of

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Speaker 1: kindness that you and I might find hard to comprehend.

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Speaker 1: Kath was just starting her cricket career when a freak

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Speaker 1: on field injury left her paralyzed from the waist down.

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Speaker 2: He just walked in and said, Kath, it's not great.

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Speaker 2: We're going to amputate your leg.

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Speaker 1: What happened after that will absolutely astound you because this

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Speaker 1: shocking development turned out to only be the beginning of

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Speaker 1: the series of events that would change Kat's life.

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Speaker 2: God, it crushed me. I'm okay talking about it, of course,

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Speaker 2: but still just brings up so much emotion in that

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Speaker 2: like it was so inexplicable, so not one person saw

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Speaker 2: it coming, myself included. Of course, this is a remarkable

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Speaker 2: story of a woman who's been through more than most

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Speaker 2: but kept on going and going and then went a

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Speaker 2: little further. There are so many stories within that story

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Speaker 2: that really showcase the power of kindness, but also human

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Speaker 2: spirit and of course the importance of human connection. We

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Speaker 2: were born to connect, no one's supposed to do it alone.

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Speaker 1: This is Cath Koschl's story. So to start off, you

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Speaker 1: were a cricket at heart. You've grown up in a

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Speaker 1: cricket loving family in regional on New South Wales, and

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Speaker 1: you're like, it's all I want to do, right, and

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Speaker 1: so you work your way up like you're grinding because

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Speaker 1: you feel like you don't have natural talent, so you

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Speaker 1: do the grind and you make it. You're playing for

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Speaker 1: New South Wales, right, you've got a contract. But then

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Speaker 1: the physio takes you aside because you're having a few issues.

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Speaker 1: What did they find out when they first looked at

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Speaker 1: you before all of this happened.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, So, as you just mentioned, I was a grinder

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Speaker 2: and so I felt probably back then, I guess I've got,

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Speaker 2: you know, country upbringing, and you don't go to the

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Speaker 2: doctor in the bush unless you broke your leg, so

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Speaker 2: you know, for a scratch or a muscular pain sort

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Speaker 2: of thing, you just press on and do all that.

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Speaker 2: And I remember thinking I can't really feel my left

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Speaker 2: big toe, and so I thought, oh, I just probably

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Speaker 2: just I don't know, shoes too tight, something like that.

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Speaker 2: Truld to go away, and I started experiencing some sciatic

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Speaker 2: pain through my left glute, so I thought I'll check

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Speaker 2: it out with the physio. And I remember her, Kate

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Speaker 2: being very surprised to see me. Kath, you've got a slot.

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Speaker 2: What's going on? And I said, I can't really feel

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Speaker 2: my left toe, my big toe, and she said that's

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Speaker 2: a bit curious. And sporting environments to paint a picture,

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Speaker 2: there's no privacy, so you know, you get an acred

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Speaker 2: you do all that kind of stuff and you're changing,

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Speaker 2: and you know, that's just what comes with the territory

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Speaker 2: of elite sport. And so in the physio room, was like, say,

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Speaker 2: ten other teammates and they're like, ah, what do you

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Speaker 2: mean you can't feel your toe? And I was like, oh,

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Speaker 2: I just can't. I can't feel my toe. And she said,

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Speaker 2: have you got any other symptoms? I said, my left glute,

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Speaker 2: my left buttock just sort of feels like it's pinching

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Speaker 2: or something. It's quite a bit of discomfort. And she's

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Speaker 2: like okay. And I think that's when her mind started

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Speaker 2: to chick over, because you know, she knows more about

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Speaker 2: the body than I do. And I shorted to be

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Speaker 2: exploring a few more things, few tests. I was on

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Speaker 2: my tummy and she was doing some stuff and she

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Speaker 2: said to me, mate, no training tonight, go and sit

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Speaker 2: on the bike, so no bawling, noboddy, just go down

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Speaker 2: into the gym, gentle bike. And I said okay. And

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Speaker 2: I was like, oh, I wonder why she said that.

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Speaker 2: And half an hour lady she comes down and I

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Speaker 2: could see and she said, hey, first thing tomorrow, you

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Speaker 2: got to scan up at PRP, which is just literally

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Speaker 2: one hundred meters away from the SCG. So went and

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Speaker 2: had this scan. And because of my job at that time,

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Speaker 2: I worked part time in the cricket environment as well,

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Speaker 2: I knew the PRP guys. His name was Trader, that

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Speaker 2: was his nickname, and so I would always take other

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Speaker 2: athletes in there to get scanned. Hey Trader, and he's like,

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Speaker 2: who you got and I said, no, no, it's me this time.

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Speaker 2: He said, what are you having scan? I said, our

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Speaker 2: MRI back and he said what's going on? So I

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Speaker 2: told him and he's like okay. So had the scan

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Speaker 2: and I could just need to look on his face

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Speaker 2: as I come out, and I said, is it serious?

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Speaker 2: And he said, oh, mate, I'm not. I'm not allowed

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Speaker 2: to say. And I was like, oh, so immediately you're like,

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Speaker 2: because I knew the guy, I think, I was like,

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Speaker 2: oh am I overthinking this. Maybe I'm not. So immediately

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Speaker 2: got the scans, took them down to the dock and

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Speaker 2: he said, mate, this is not real great you've got

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Speaker 2: a prolapse disc, but it's compressing on a nerve and

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Speaker 2: sort of showed me on the scans and explained it

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Speaker 2: all to me and all that kind of stuff. But

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Speaker 2: I was in the form of my life. I'd never

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Speaker 2: been hitting the ball that well. I was a batterer.

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Speaker 2: And he sort of said to me, I had this

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Speaker 2: tournament coming up, and then I had, you know, selection,

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Speaker 2: all that kind of stuff, and he said, look, it's

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Speaker 2: fifty to fifty your choice, Like, I want you to

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Speaker 2: know the risks associated with playing with an injury like this,

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Speaker 2: but essentially I can't rule you out, but I don't

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Speaker 2: really want to rule you in your choice. But understand this.

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Speaker 1: So you get four games in, you're still nursing this

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Speaker 1: back issue, and you're out on the field, wrong turn.

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Speaker 1: What happens the.

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Speaker 2: Disc that I sort of mentioned that was prolapsed, That

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Speaker 2: it come out so quickly, and it never happens to people,

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Speaker 2: So I guess this wasn't really a risk that we'd

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Speaker 2: identified could have them for me. It just it come

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Speaker 2: out so quickly that the two Verteas went crunch onto

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Speaker 2: each other.

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Speaker 1: And this gouna sound like a question, But did you

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Speaker 1: hear it? Because I've broken a few things s colletially

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Speaker 1: in my time, and the thing that stands out for

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Speaker 1: me is when I broke my cruciate ligament. For example,

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Speaker 1: I heard it go, oh wow, could you hear that

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Speaker 1: and feel that in your body, because it's sometimes bones

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Speaker 1: crunching and cracking, like it's loud and you can hear it.

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Speaker 2: No, I don't remember a lot about this part. Like

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Speaker 2: I definitely didn't hear anything. I guess in the back

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Speaker 2: where you know, if it was a fractured leg, maybe

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Speaker 2: you might or something like that. And and like you said,

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Speaker 2: cruciate ligament, but no, I don't remember hearing it. I

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Speaker 2: remember it took my breath away, the pain, So I remember,

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Speaker 2: you know, you sort of twist and then suddenly it

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Speaker 2: goes and then I remember the pain that I felt.

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Speaker 2: It took my breath away out I couldn't breathe. So

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Speaker 2: I was like, what has just happened? Honestly felt like

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Speaker 2: I've never been shot, so I can't really get I

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Speaker 2: was like, I felt like I've been shot. But did

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Speaker 2: you just drop to the ground. Yeah, yeah, it fell

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Speaker 2: to the ground. And then obviously just couldn't feel anything

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Speaker 2: below my waist. And when that set in, I was like,

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Speaker 2: oh God, Like I think this is my bait.

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Speaker 1: To really say, Oh God, because there's some words I

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Speaker 1: probably would.

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Speaker 2: Have said, yeah, moment, yeah, big words. Ah. I think

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Speaker 2: it was you know ah, but I don't remember what

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Speaker 2: would have come out of my mouth. I think it

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Speaker 2: was a lot of groaning and uncertainty, so like rolling

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Speaker 2: around in your head, you like, can't fit my legs,

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Speaker 2: I mean so much pain. What has just happened to me?

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Speaker 2: I knew you deep down it was back for sure,

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Speaker 2: not just because of the no feeling in my legs,

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Speaker 2: but also because you know, in the lower spine areas

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Speaker 2: where I was experiencing the pain, and I just remember

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Speaker 2: the breaths were so hard to get in. And I

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Speaker 2: don't know if it was my body was in shock

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Speaker 2: or if it was because I don't know why, like

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Speaker 2: I couldn't tell you really it was emotionally like I

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Speaker 2: was trying to conceptualize what was going on, or if

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Speaker 2: it was something going on bigger like physiologically. But I

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Speaker 2: do remember not being really able to breathe or take

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Speaker 2: much air in at that moment. For sure.

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Speaker 1: Did anyone say to you that that was a possibility

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Speaker 1: of happening if you'd played what breaking my mind back?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: So when you were going through the discussions with the

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Speaker 1: team medical stuff. Did they say to you, look, there

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Speaker 1: is a possibility that you know, you could turn around

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Speaker 1: to catch a ball and fall to the ground without

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Speaker 1: being able to fill your legs anymore.

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Speaker 2: Not that explicitly. No, Like, I think it was a

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Speaker 2: very freak instance of circumstances that sort of collide it

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Speaker 2: because a lot of people say, like, how did the

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Speaker 2: initial injury start even And I don't think there's any

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Speaker 2: way of telling. Could it have been an overuse injury

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Speaker 2: where I was training the house down and running on

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Speaker 2: roads too much and that happened, or was I born

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Speaker 2: with a bit of a defect? Like, no one really

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Speaker 2: knows how that happened. So when they're explaining the risk

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Speaker 2: to you, it's like, you know, this could come out

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Speaker 2: even further, it could press even more on the nerves

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Speaker 2: and all those sorts of things. But for it to

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Speaker 2: come out that quickly, I don't think anyone had really

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Speaker 2: considered that that was a possibility really, So no, that

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Speaker 2: wasn't a risk that was brought into the conversation for sure, So.

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Speaker 1: There must have been so confusing. Then you're lying on

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Speaker 1: the ground and can't fill your legs. Yeah, Like what

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Speaker 1: happens from there, like someone comes and takes you away

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Speaker 1: and takes you to hospital, and then you just lay

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Speaker 1: there and wonder what's going on while people buzz around

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Speaker 1: you in a hospital room.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and again that's all a bit of a blur,

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Speaker 2: like so to get into the hospital and all that

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Speaker 2: kind of stuff, because again you're just in so much pain,

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Speaker 2: and then you know as soon as you get the

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Speaker 2: medical attention that you do the drugs are administered because

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Speaker 2: they want to reduce pain so that you can actually

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Speaker 2: talk and answer questions and all that kind of stuff.

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Speaker 2: So off the hospital had, you know, the first of

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Speaker 2: a couple of unsuccessful surgeries. I think they scanned up

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Speaker 2: immediately and then sort of won't look it's not great.

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Speaker 2: So I had some shaves and all that kind of stuff.

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Speaker 2: They're called like microagyschectomies, which is a very conservative for

227
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Speaker 2: the injury that I had, but they're also like, we

228
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Speaker 2: want to go conservative to start with and then see

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Speaker 2: if we can get there and fix the problem before

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Speaker 2: going bigger.

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Speaker 1: So you had a whole bunch of these kinds of

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Speaker 1: surgeries right to start with. What's it like to wake

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Speaker 1: up sort of after each one to know that it

234
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Speaker 1: hasn't worked, because like the first time you'd be like, oh,

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Speaker 1: that's shit, right, But then the second time, and the

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Speaker 1: third time and the fourth time, Like how do you

237
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Speaker 1: wake up from each of those in you know, consecutive surgeries,

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Speaker 1: knowing they've all been unsuccessful.

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Speaker 2: I'd like to say really deep ants. Because I was

240
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Speaker 2: so medicated. I just was a clown. Thought everything was

241
00:11:10,134 --> 00:11:13,534
Speaker 2: really funny, and so they'd come out and remember I

242
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Speaker 2: had this tattoo. It was Chinese scripture that ran down

243
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Speaker 2: my spine and they kept cutting into it. And I

244
00:11:19,974 --> 00:11:21,694
Speaker 2: was in like they call it a log roll position,

245
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Speaker 2: so you can either be flat on your back or

246
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Speaker 2: you're in this side position and you have to log

247
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Speaker 2: roll together there. It's like a medical thing you do

248
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Speaker 2: with backs. And I says to my brother, oh, can

249
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Speaker 2: you take a photo of my scar? And he said yeah, yeah, sure.

250
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Speaker 2: So he takes aho of this scar and he shows

251
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Speaker 2: me and I go, oh, wow, look it's different. And

252
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Speaker 2: he's like, what's different? And I said the letters and

253
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Speaker 2: he said yeah, and I said it says CANi shia.

254
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Speaker 2: Like that, the whole room just like erupts into laughter.

255
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Speaker 2: But it's probably more the moments you know when you

256
00:11:48,054 --> 00:11:50,174
Speaker 2: start to come then too and the drugs start to

257
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Speaker 2: wear off, anesthesia and things like that. But then you go, oh,

258
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Speaker 2: what happened And they're like, oh, still no telling yet

259
00:11:56,094 --> 00:11:57,734
Speaker 2: because we need to wait a little bit more, few

260
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Speaker 2: legs to wake up and stuff. And it was probably

261
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Speaker 2: the days after that, and you go, hasn't really worked,

262
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Speaker 2: so we're going to have to go again. I have

263
00:12:04,734 --> 00:12:07,294
Speaker 2: to scan up, redo the process, all that kind of stuff.

264
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Speaker 2: And it was probably after it's probably only after the

265
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Speaker 2: second that I really started to lose hope and it

266
00:12:12,894 --> 00:12:15,894
Speaker 2: started to set in that you know, this is a

267
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Speaker 2: big deal. And not only is this dream just vanished

268
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Speaker 2: in front of my eyes of playing cricket, but it's

269
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Speaker 2: you know, this is serious stuff. It's life in a wheelchair.

270
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Speaker 2: It's not that there's anything wrong with disabilities. I live

271
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Speaker 2: with one now, but it was I was going to

272
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Speaker 2: have to figure out a way to live with this

273
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Speaker 2: new change in my life. And that's when the reality

274
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Speaker 2: started to set in.

275
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Speaker 1: You've done your back. You're in rehab, but you're placed

276
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Speaker 1: in a geriatric ward, so there's no beds available for

277
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Speaker 1: you in a section that you're supposed to go to

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Speaker 1: and I imagine that would have been a little bit

279
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Speaker 1: confronting to start with, but it ended up being quite

280
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Speaker 1: an amazing experience for you.

281
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Speaker 2: It was, and in that sense, I think that's why

282
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Speaker 2: life can be so amazing. It was so daunting. I like,

283
00:13:00,654 --> 00:13:03,414
Speaker 2: rehab was so tough for me. It's such a tricky

284
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Speaker 2: environment in that you know, you've been in hospital and

285
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Speaker 2: you're not in hospital if you're thriving. Same for rehab,

286
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Speaker 2: but it's sort of like a step down in terms

287
00:13:10,374 --> 00:13:12,534
Speaker 2: of the environment and the support that you get and

288
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Speaker 2: all that kind of stuff.

289
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Speaker 1: And does rehab look like hospital like you basically just

290
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Speaker 1: in that sanitized environment. Everything's white, everything's kind of plastic.

291
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Speaker 1: There's nothing kind of comforting about it.

292
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Speaker 2: Yeah, it depends on the rehab so you know, you've

293
00:13:25,334 --> 00:13:27,894
Speaker 2: got the trays and stuff like that, the meal trays

294
00:13:27,934 --> 00:13:29,494
Speaker 2: that you can put over your bed and all those

295
00:13:29,494 --> 00:13:31,894
Speaker 2: sorts of things. There's some similarities, but it's not as

296
00:13:32,214 --> 00:13:36,614
Speaker 2: sanitized probably as a hospital, and it's very much you're

297
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Speaker 2: there as an independent person who needs assistance. So you're

298
00:13:40,254 --> 00:13:41,894
Speaker 2: not well enough to go home, but you're not sick

299
00:13:41,974 --> 00:13:44,574
Speaker 2: enough to be in hospital. So there's clearly some issues

300
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Speaker 2: or problems that you need to resolve within your body

301
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Speaker 2: or whatever it is that you're in rehab for that

302
00:13:49,214 --> 00:13:50,534
Speaker 2: you just need a little bit of extra help, so

303
00:13:50,574 --> 00:13:53,294
Speaker 2: it could be helped with showering or getting changed. Still,

304
00:13:53,454 --> 00:13:55,854
Speaker 2: for me, it was you know, walking and things like that,

305
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Speaker 2: So I'd never heard of rehab for a lengthy period.

306
00:14:00,854 --> 00:14:02,494
Speaker 2: Probably the idea of rehab that I had in my

307
00:14:02,534 --> 00:14:04,294
Speaker 2: head is you know the American movies that you see,

308
00:14:04,294 --> 00:14:06,894
Speaker 2: and it's probably more about drag and alcohol rehab or

309
00:14:07,574 --> 00:14:10,494
Speaker 2: psychological support and things like that, but you never really

310
00:14:10,534 --> 00:14:13,534
Speaker 2: see much of a depiction of physical rehabs. You see

311
00:14:13,574 --> 00:14:16,574
Speaker 2: hospital settings and things like that, and I felt like

312
00:14:16,814 --> 00:14:20,094
Speaker 2: I sort of was just you know the special ambulance

313
00:14:20,134 --> 00:14:21,934
Speaker 2: things that come and pick you up. That's a patient

314
00:14:21,934 --> 00:14:24,334
Speaker 2: transport vehicle. They were running late, and it was a

315
00:14:24,374 --> 00:14:25,974
Speaker 2: bit of a kerfuffle. It was a bit of a nightmare.

316
00:14:25,974 --> 00:14:27,894
Speaker 2: I actually to get from hospital to rehab, and so

317
00:14:28,294 --> 00:14:29,374
Speaker 2: that was a bit of a nightmare. And then I

318
00:14:29,414 --> 00:14:31,614
Speaker 2: got there quite late. I missed induction, so it was

319
00:14:31,694 --> 00:14:33,614
Speaker 2: just not a smooth process to get there, and it

320
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Speaker 2: was just very daunting and honestly, if I hadn't been

321
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Speaker 2: in the geriatric ward. I don't know what it would

322
00:14:38,774 --> 00:14:41,654
Speaker 2: have happened, but I don't think I would have coped

323
00:14:41,774 --> 00:14:43,934
Speaker 2: as well emotionally if I hadn't been surrounded by like

324
00:14:43,974 --> 00:14:46,774
Speaker 2: a woman who I called Daisy, who was my first

325
00:14:46,814 --> 00:14:49,734
Speaker 2: friend from rehab, and she was just so wonderful, and

326
00:14:49,774 --> 00:14:51,734
Speaker 2: I felt like that was actually the perfect setting for

327
00:14:51,854 --> 00:14:53,814
Speaker 2: me or start to meet for rehab was being in

328
00:14:53,894 --> 00:14:56,214
Speaker 2: the wrong ward, which was around I always loved the

329
00:14:56,254 --> 00:14:59,134
Speaker 2: old people. I find them so interesting, but I didn't

330
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Speaker 2: know that they would teach me as much as they did,

331
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Speaker 2: certainly in that first week. So you know, I was

332
00:15:03,294 --> 00:15:05,014
Speaker 2: there for the first week, and then I made a

333
00:15:05,054 --> 00:15:07,614
Speaker 2: habit of just visiting them most days, even when I

334
00:15:07,694 --> 00:15:09,254
Speaker 2: was in the new reward where I was supposed to

335
00:15:09,334 --> 00:15:12,334
Speaker 2: be after that, or where I was after that. So yeah,

336
00:15:12,414 --> 00:15:14,254
Speaker 2: to sit down with them and let them give me

337
00:15:14,294 --> 00:15:17,774
Speaker 2: their perspective on life and struggle and adversity and all

338
00:15:17,814 --> 00:15:20,814
Speaker 2: those sorts of things was honestly one of the best

339
00:15:20,894 --> 00:15:24,174
Speaker 2: gifts I've received as an adult, because, like I mentioned,

340
00:15:24,174 --> 00:15:26,534
Speaker 2: I was very one dimensional prior to that. With Cricket.

341
00:15:26,734 --> 00:15:29,134
Speaker 2: There I am in a very new environment and I

342
00:15:29,214 --> 00:15:30,854
Speaker 2: got these people like there was an eighty five year

343
00:15:30,894 --> 00:15:34,254
Speaker 2: old war veteran who I remember just sitting there in shock,

344
00:15:34,374 --> 00:15:36,174
Speaker 2: like he come over a friend had come to visit,

345
00:15:36,734 --> 00:15:38,774
Speaker 2: and he had a pretty thick accent. He was from

346
00:15:38,974 --> 00:15:44,414
Speaker 2: Poland and the arm tattoo from Ouswitch and he was

347
00:15:44,454 --> 00:15:48,014
Speaker 2: honestly this jovial, happy man, like he would walk around

348
00:15:48,014 --> 00:15:50,534
Speaker 2: singing and dancing and whistling and all that kind of stuff.

349
00:15:50,534 --> 00:15:52,494
Speaker 2: And then he come and sat with us one day

350
00:15:52,534 --> 00:15:56,454
Speaker 2: and I learned that he'd been a prisoner of war.

351
00:15:56,694 --> 00:15:59,534
Speaker 2: And I was like, how do I learn from this man?

352
00:15:59,974 --> 00:16:02,934
Speaker 2: And I am just through watching and viewing and listening,

353
00:16:03,694 --> 00:16:05,774
Speaker 2: but what can I take from him? And not in

354
00:16:05,814 --> 00:16:07,774
Speaker 2: a selfish way, but in a way that I just

355
00:16:07,814 --> 00:16:09,774
Speaker 2: want to learn so much from this person who's to

356
00:16:09,814 --> 00:16:12,814
Speaker 2: be the happiest man I've ever met, has endured the

357
00:16:12,894 --> 00:16:16,694
Speaker 2: most horrific things that life could show someone. And the oldies,

358
00:16:16,894 --> 00:16:19,774
Speaker 2: they really gave me the backbone that I needed in

359
00:16:19,894 --> 00:16:20,894
Speaker 2: rehab to get through it.

360
00:16:21,334 --> 00:16:24,054
Speaker 1: Now, we talked about how you've had unsuccessful surgeries, but

361
00:16:24,174 --> 00:16:26,854
Speaker 1: you did have a bit of a groundbreaking surgery where

362
00:16:26,894 --> 00:16:30,294
Speaker 1: they've infused you with titanium. You're essentially I don't know

363
00:16:30,374 --> 00:16:34,334
Speaker 1: the terminator now spinally at this point, right, And so

364
00:16:34,494 --> 00:16:36,374
Speaker 1: you've gone through all of this, and then you get

365
00:16:36,414 --> 00:16:37,814
Speaker 1: to a point where it's okay for you to go

366
00:16:37,974 --> 00:16:40,134
Speaker 1: home for a bit, right, so you need to recover

367
00:16:40,374 --> 00:16:43,334
Speaker 1: on your own time, figure yourself out. And then this

368
00:16:43,454 --> 00:16:47,214
Speaker 1: part of the story is ridiculous. I just have to say, right,

369
00:16:47,454 --> 00:16:51,694
Speaker 1: because you wake up one morning your leg is blue.

370
00:16:52,294 --> 00:16:55,494
Speaker 1: You can no longer use it. It is essentially like

371
00:16:55,854 --> 00:16:58,254
Speaker 1: just a lump of flesh attached to you at this point,

372
00:16:59,294 --> 00:17:02,134
Speaker 1: and instead of calling an ambulance, which is what every

373
00:17:02,174 --> 00:17:04,374
Speaker 1: other human on the planet would probably do at this point,

374
00:17:05,014 --> 00:17:10,894
Speaker 1: you decide to crawl to your car and drive yourself

375
00:17:12,094 --> 00:17:15,734
Speaker 1: to seek medical attention. What is going on here? Why

376
00:17:15,814 --> 00:17:17,774
Speaker 1: could you not reach out for help in that moment?

377
00:17:18,414 --> 00:17:20,214
Speaker 1: And if you're ever going to ask for help, your

378
00:17:20,294 --> 00:17:23,094
Speaker 1: leg no longer functioning is probably a good time for that.

379
00:17:23,574 --> 00:17:25,734
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I'm glad that I've grown as a person,

380
00:17:26,054 --> 00:17:28,854
Speaker 2: but happy to admit and I'm absolutely not proud of

381
00:17:28,894 --> 00:17:31,454
Speaker 2: it that I am probably the most stubborn creature on

382
00:17:31,534 --> 00:17:35,174
Speaker 2: the planet and back then fiercely independent as well. I

383
00:17:35,214 --> 00:17:38,614
Speaker 2: think that comes from being the only girl three elder brothers.

384
00:17:39,534 --> 00:17:41,334
Speaker 2: Like if you cried it was like, oh, stop being

385
00:17:41,374 --> 00:17:42,614
Speaker 2: a girl and all that kind of stuff. So I

386
00:17:42,654 --> 00:17:45,294
Speaker 2: think I felt like I always needed to pretend that

387
00:17:45,334 --> 00:17:47,054
Speaker 2: I was tougher than I was with my brothers and

388
00:17:47,054 --> 00:17:49,974
Speaker 2: all that kind of stuff, and that probably had this

389
00:17:50,374 --> 00:17:53,414
Speaker 2: built independence that I needed to feel like I had

390
00:17:53,454 --> 00:17:55,094
Speaker 2: all the time. And so I'm not proud of it.

391
00:17:55,134 --> 00:17:56,974
Speaker 2: I'm still so subborn, Like I'd love to say that

392
00:17:57,014 --> 00:17:57,694
Speaker 2: I've grown from that.

393
00:17:57,974 --> 00:17:59,494
Speaker 1: Would you do that again? Though, if you work up

394
00:17:59,494 --> 00:18:01,134
Speaker 1: tomorrow in that same scenario.

395
00:18:00,774 --> 00:18:03,214
Speaker 2: Probably because everyone always asked me questions like this, like

396
00:18:03,254 --> 00:18:04,934
Speaker 2: why on earth did you do that? And I'm like, Okay,

397
00:18:04,974 --> 00:18:07,294
Speaker 2: it's really weird. I better not do that anymore. I

398
00:18:07,374 --> 00:18:09,414
Speaker 2: do struggle a lot to say, hey, I need to

399
00:18:09,414 --> 00:18:10,854
Speaker 2: be help and all that kind of stuff. But I'm

400
00:18:10,894 --> 00:18:13,534
Speaker 2: working at it every day, like I am so much

401
00:18:13,614 --> 00:18:15,814
Speaker 2: better at it now. But I think in that moment,

402
00:18:15,854 --> 00:18:17,654
Speaker 2: it wasn't necessarily I need to do it all alone.

403
00:18:18,014 --> 00:18:19,854
Speaker 2: In that moment, it was like four in the morning

404
00:18:20,734 --> 00:18:22,214
Speaker 2: and I had a flat mate and I was like,

405
00:18:22,334 --> 00:18:24,454
Speaker 2: I don't want to wake her up, Like I feel

406
00:18:24,614 --> 00:18:28,534
Speaker 2: like I was too thoughtful. I don't know, like I

407
00:18:28,574 --> 00:18:30,694
Speaker 2: don't know what that was about, really, like I was like, oh,

408
00:18:30,774 --> 00:18:32,094
Speaker 2: I'll be okay, I've got a working right.

409
00:18:32,214 --> 00:18:34,214
Speaker 1: Does she yell at you afterwards after finding out what

410
00:18:34,294 --> 00:18:34,494
Speaker 1: you do?

411
00:18:34,654 --> 00:18:38,294
Speaker 2: Yeah, we've had some very big conversations just because I

412
00:18:38,334 --> 00:18:39,814
Speaker 2: frustrate the life out of a lot of people. I

413
00:18:39,894 --> 00:18:42,334
Speaker 2: am by no means perfect trust me. So yeah, we've

414
00:18:42,334 --> 00:18:44,374
Speaker 2: had some big conversations about how I need to be

415
00:18:44,454 --> 00:18:47,454
Speaker 2: better at that. And I think I learned through that

416
00:18:47,734 --> 00:18:50,734
Speaker 2: her sharing that was more. Sometimes actually it is kind

417
00:18:50,894 --> 00:18:53,174
Speaker 2: to ask for help as well, in that people want

418
00:18:53,214 --> 00:18:55,054
Speaker 2: to help and they want to feel useful, and they

419
00:18:55,134 --> 00:18:56,654
Speaker 2: want to be able to support their friends and things

420
00:18:56,734 --> 00:18:59,374
Speaker 2: like that, and by us often saying no or I'm okay,

421
00:18:59,494 --> 00:19:01,854
Speaker 2: or want to do it by myself and sort of

422
00:19:02,334 --> 00:19:05,774
Speaker 2: stopping or halting that support is sometimes actually quite offensive

423
00:19:05,894 --> 00:19:08,614
Speaker 2: or it can be hurtful to a person. And if

424
00:19:08,654 --> 00:19:10,534
Speaker 2: that happened to me, if that was the roles were reversed,

425
00:19:10,534 --> 00:19:12,854
Speaker 2: I'd be like, mate, what is going on? Of course

426
00:19:12,894 --> 00:19:14,534
Speaker 2: I would have driven you to hospital? And why did

427
00:19:14,574 --> 00:19:16,174
Speaker 2: you not ask? Why did you feel like you couldn't?

428
00:19:16,174 --> 00:19:18,774
Speaker 2: So when you put yourself in their shoes.

429
00:19:18,454 --> 00:19:21,094
Speaker 1: You sort of go okay, Yeah, were you allowed to

430
00:19:21,174 --> 00:19:24,174
Speaker 1: drive a car at this day, probably non functioning leg.

431
00:19:24,254 --> 00:19:27,174
Speaker 2: You probably don't. I'm not a very good rule follower either.

432
00:19:27,374 --> 00:19:28,894
Speaker 2: I had a working right leg at that point. I

433
00:19:28,934 --> 00:19:30,934
Speaker 2: could feel my right leg, and you know, I drove

434
00:19:30,974 --> 00:19:33,574
Speaker 2: an auto car, so I could just dangle the left

435
00:19:33,614 --> 00:19:36,014
Speaker 2: one in, but I was literally crawling in. Had to

436
00:19:36,094 --> 00:19:38,574
Speaker 2: open my car door, like get in the car with

437
00:19:38,734 --> 00:19:41,654
Speaker 2: a very heavy and dead leg, and then get the

438
00:19:41,774 --> 00:19:42,454
Speaker 2: leg in the car.

439
00:19:42,654 --> 00:19:43,694
Speaker 1: And of course it's your left legs.

440
00:19:43,734 --> 00:19:45,374
Speaker 2: I has to go in first, right, so I had

441
00:19:45,414 --> 00:19:47,454
Speaker 2: to like sort of go in sort of you know,

442
00:19:47,574 --> 00:19:49,894
Speaker 2: like a tricep, dip in, and then swing my leg

443
00:19:49,934 --> 00:19:53,454
Speaker 2: around and then put my other leg in and start driving. Yeah,

444
00:19:53,454 --> 00:19:54,814
Speaker 2: and then I thought I was like, ah, I think

445
00:19:54,854 --> 00:19:56,534
Speaker 2: this is pretty serious. I called my doctor on the

446
00:19:56,574 --> 00:19:57,934
Speaker 2: way there and he said, look, I was supposed to

447
00:19:57,934 --> 00:20:00,534
Speaker 2: be at rehab for a outpatient routine check up and

448
00:20:00,614 --> 00:20:03,814
Speaker 2: he said, meet me at RPA. This is really serious.

449
00:20:04,054 --> 00:20:06,494
Speaker 2: Get there as soon as you can. So cool. So yeah,

450
00:20:06,494 --> 00:20:09,374
Speaker 2: I got there, get out. It must have been very funny,

451
00:20:09,694 --> 00:20:12,854
Speaker 2: not funny odd for the you know, the triagnurse. Just

452
00:20:12,894 --> 00:20:15,974
Speaker 2: see this person crawling and it's not like a normal

453
00:20:16,054 --> 00:20:17,974
Speaker 2: crawl because my left didn't cooperate.

454
00:20:18,174 --> 00:20:20,854
Speaker 1: So it like on your hands and knee, dragging a

455
00:20:20,934 --> 00:20:22,494
Speaker 1: leg behind literally down the.

456
00:20:22,534 --> 00:20:25,814
Speaker 2: Corridor of commando commando, kind of crawling a bit like that.

457
00:20:26,254 --> 00:20:28,214
Speaker 1: Did the tree ash nurse even see you because they

458
00:20:28,214 --> 00:20:30,934
Speaker 1: sit in like a booth. Yeah, looking out of the

459
00:20:30,974 --> 00:20:31,534
Speaker 1: waiting room.

460
00:20:31,494 --> 00:20:33,254
Speaker 2: There are, but you got those sliding you know, the

461
00:20:33,334 --> 00:20:36,814
Speaker 2: doors that open like the auto. So she hears the

462
00:20:36,854 --> 00:20:39,454
Speaker 2: doors and she's just like you. So you're like peering

463
00:20:39,534 --> 00:20:40,334
Speaker 2: over where.

464
00:20:40,254 --> 00:20:40,854
Speaker 1: Is this person.

465
00:20:41,014 --> 00:20:43,374
Speaker 2: She's just looked at me and gone, you good there,

466
00:20:43,454 --> 00:20:45,734
Speaker 2: And I was just like, not really, I can see that,

467
00:20:45,894 --> 00:20:48,654
Speaker 2: she said, and she's like, jump in the chair for me.

468
00:20:48,894 --> 00:20:51,054
Speaker 2: So then I started talking. She just went straight like,

469
00:20:51,174 --> 00:20:53,814
Speaker 2: didn't just muck around, just took me straight out the

470
00:20:53,894 --> 00:20:56,094
Speaker 2: back and got doctors there and all that kind of stuff,

471
00:20:56,134 --> 00:20:58,934
Speaker 2: and you know, like pinning up my leg, measuring it,

472
00:20:59,054 --> 00:21:01,174
Speaker 2: testing it, doing all sorts of readings and stuff like that.

473
00:21:01,414 --> 00:21:04,414
Speaker 2: And I knew it wasn't great in that moment, but

474
00:21:04,734 --> 00:21:07,254
Speaker 2: I didn't think that a doctor would walk in and say, look,

475
00:21:07,494 --> 00:21:11,014
Speaker 2: Cathot's not great. We're going to amputate your leg. And

476
00:21:11,174 --> 00:21:14,494
Speaker 2: I probably said all the words again, but I didn't

477
00:21:14,494 --> 00:21:16,294
Speaker 2: really know what to say. I was like oh wow,

478
00:21:16,494 --> 00:21:18,494
Speaker 2: like again sort of like how the back broke in

479
00:21:18,574 --> 00:21:21,374
Speaker 2: the first place. I knew that I had, you know,

480
00:21:21,534 --> 00:21:23,614
Speaker 2: compressed fine and all that kind of stuff, but no

481
00:21:23,654 --> 00:21:25,094
Speaker 2: one ever told me I was at risk of having

482
00:21:25,134 --> 00:21:28,534
Speaker 2: my leg amputated. So how's this happened? And what on

483
00:21:28,574 --> 00:21:30,694
Speaker 2: earth is going on? So yeah, so he sort of

484
00:21:31,414 --> 00:21:32,974
Speaker 2: I guess the way that that explained it to me

485
00:21:33,174 --> 00:21:35,694
Speaker 2: was that anyone with normal, healthy legs had a blood

486
00:21:35,694 --> 00:21:39,294
Speaker 2: pressure reading anywhere between ninety and one hundred percent. Anything

487
00:21:39,374 --> 00:21:41,974
Speaker 2: below twenty percent was dire, and anything below ten percent

488
00:21:42,094 --> 00:21:44,534
Speaker 2: was dead. And I said where am I? And he said,

489
00:21:44,854 --> 00:21:48,254
Speaker 2: at one point this morning, you're at seven percent. I said, wow,

490
00:21:48,374 --> 00:21:50,854
Speaker 2: so's dead and he said yeah, mate, he said it

491
00:21:50,934 --> 00:21:53,614
Speaker 2: is fluctuating between seven and fourteen. And I said, okay.

492
00:21:54,774 --> 00:21:57,774
Speaker 2: And probably, like will sort of mentioning Earli, I've always

493
00:21:57,774 --> 00:21:59,334
Speaker 2: had a bit of a curiosity and maybe even a

494
00:21:59,494 --> 00:22:02,214
Speaker 2: child like naivete about me. Not so much anymore, but

495
00:22:02,374 --> 00:22:04,734
Speaker 2: certainly back then at twenty two twenty three, whenever I

496
00:22:04,934 --> 00:22:07,454
Speaker 2: was and I said, was that what we can call hope?

497
00:22:08,214 --> 00:22:10,574
Speaker 2: And he he sort of chat called then I think

498
00:22:10,574 --> 00:22:12,294
Speaker 2: he thought I was joking, So Kath, this is really

499
00:22:12,374 --> 00:22:14,334
Speaker 2: serious and I said, no, no, I know, but you

500
00:22:14,454 --> 00:22:16,334
Speaker 2: didn't tell me that this was a risk that was

501
00:22:16,974 --> 00:22:19,654
Speaker 2: associated with me and my injuries. And I said, what

502
00:22:19,894 --> 00:22:22,534
Speaker 2: can we do to keep attached? Doc? And that's when

503
00:22:22,574 --> 00:22:26,694
Speaker 2: I call my brother, who's the most wonderful, incredible, beautiful man,

504
00:22:27,654 --> 00:22:29,774
Speaker 2: and I said, can you come in. I don't think

505
00:22:29,814 --> 00:22:31,494
Speaker 2: the news is great. I've been a bit of a

506
00:22:31,574 --> 00:22:34,094
Speaker 2: pick all this morning, explained to He's like, I'm on

507
00:22:34,174 --> 00:22:37,134
Speaker 2: my way, so so it gets there. And I can

508
00:22:37,174 --> 00:22:38,934
Speaker 2: be a bit of a smart ass, and my family

509
00:22:38,974 --> 00:22:41,414
Speaker 2: and I use humor in some pretty dark ways, and

510
00:22:41,894 --> 00:22:43,414
Speaker 2: he got there, and then we just thought it was

511
00:22:43,454 --> 00:22:46,294
Speaker 2: really hilariously funny that he's a butcher and he was

512
00:22:46,334 --> 00:22:50,374
Speaker 2: in his butcher's uniform and I'm going to amphutate my leg,

513
00:22:51,174 --> 00:22:52,894
Speaker 2: but he had the knives on the side still, you know,

514
00:22:55,094 --> 00:22:56,934
Speaker 2: belt On had his little belt on and the knives

515
00:22:56,974 --> 00:22:58,654
Speaker 2: still attack Because like I said, what are you doing?

516
00:22:58,694 --> 00:23:01,414
Speaker 2: There's like blood all over and he's just like you said,

517
00:23:01,454 --> 00:23:04,854
Speaker 2: to get here, so yes see, my god.

518
00:23:04,894 --> 00:23:07,134
Speaker 1: Other patients must have been freaking out watching it.

519
00:23:08,454 --> 00:23:11,294
Speaker 2: And then the doctors were almost like, what's going on here? Herefore?

520
00:23:11,334 --> 00:23:13,054
Speaker 2: And then I started cracking the jokes. I'm like, you're

521
00:23:13,094 --> 00:23:15,974
Speaker 2: not doing this. I put those knives away into I

522
00:23:16,014 --> 00:23:18,334
Speaker 2: think he then like he was taking it away more

523
00:23:18,334 --> 00:23:19,894
Speaker 2: serious than while I was in that moment trying to

524
00:23:19,974 --> 00:23:22,694
Speaker 2: just make light of it. But he sort of he said, guys, like,

525
00:23:23,174 --> 00:23:24,414
Speaker 2: tell us, what can we do here?

526
00:23:24,494 --> 00:23:25,734
Speaker 1: And I was in shock.

527
00:23:25,774 --> 00:23:27,734
Speaker 2: I definitely was. That's why I was cracking jokes for sure.

528
00:23:27,854 --> 00:23:29,814
Speaker 2: I use humor as a big events making. It's a

529
00:23:29,934 --> 00:23:33,814
Speaker 2: huge drives a lot of people crazy. It's something I'm

530
00:23:33,854 --> 00:23:35,614
Speaker 2: working on again. He's just trying to have a bit

531
00:23:35,654 --> 00:23:37,494
Speaker 2: more of a filter around it. But they just sort

532
00:23:37,534 --> 00:23:39,254
Speaker 2: of said, look, we'll give you two weeks to get

533
00:23:39,254 --> 00:23:42,334
Speaker 2: the pressure back up. If it drops below ten, you

534
00:23:42,414 --> 00:23:44,414
Speaker 2: have to test it every day, so go to hospital rehab.

535
00:23:44,454 --> 00:23:46,654
Speaker 2: It drops below ten, it's gone on the spot. That's

536
00:23:46,694 --> 00:23:48,294
Speaker 2: the deal. If you can get it above twenty, we

537
00:23:48,374 --> 00:23:48,974
Speaker 2: can work with that.

538
00:23:49,294 --> 00:23:51,134
Speaker 1: Did you get any sleep for a fortnight?

539
00:23:51,494 --> 00:23:54,694
Speaker 2: Literally? Like none? And like I talk about this two

540
00:23:54,734 --> 00:23:57,174
Speaker 2: week period, I've talked about it a little bit with

541
00:23:57,254 --> 00:23:59,094
Speaker 2: people and stuff like that, and I often just say,

542
00:23:59,134 --> 00:24:00,294
Speaker 2: you know, it was a grind and it was like

543
00:24:00,414 --> 00:24:02,654
Speaker 2: being an athlete throughout that two week period. Remember a

544
00:24:02,734 --> 00:24:05,214
Speaker 2: week into that two week period, and I was just exhausted.

545
00:24:05,254 --> 00:24:07,534
Speaker 2: I hadn't really slept, and I mean, you can't really

546
00:24:07,574 --> 00:24:11,294
Speaker 2: sleep when you you know, Essentially what they prescribed was exercise.

547
00:24:11,294 --> 00:24:12,894
Speaker 2: They said, it's a blood flow issue, that's all we

548
00:24:12,974 --> 00:24:14,774
Speaker 2: can think that it could be. So you've got to

549
00:24:14,774 --> 00:24:17,294
Speaker 2: get it moving in any way that you can. And

550
00:24:17,374 --> 00:24:18,774
Speaker 2: so that's what the gym was about and all that

551
00:24:18,854 --> 00:24:21,294
Speaker 2: kind of stuff. But to paint a picture, my leg

552
00:24:21,454 --> 00:24:24,214
Speaker 2: was so dead and lifeless that I would crutch on

553
00:24:24,294 --> 00:24:27,534
Speaker 2: those Canadian crutches, the ones that are four hours, So

554
00:24:27,574 --> 00:24:29,334
Speaker 2: I had those, and I'd crutch on my hop on

555
00:24:29,374 --> 00:24:31,294
Speaker 2: my right leg and my left would just drag like

556
00:24:31,414 --> 00:24:33,894
Speaker 2: behind me. I had no control over it. Going to

557
00:24:33,974 --> 00:24:35,934
Speaker 2: the gym, coming back. I had a pete helping me.

558
00:24:36,174 --> 00:24:38,614
Speaker 2: Grant was helping me obviously, and friends and people like

559
00:24:38,654 --> 00:24:41,054
Speaker 2: that who knew the struggle. But yeah, there's no way

560
00:24:41,134 --> 00:24:43,094
Speaker 2: that sleep was something that was easy to come by.

561
00:24:43,214 --> 00:24:45,574
Speaker 2: And I used to get up at two in the morning,

562
00:24:45,854 --> 00:24:48,134
Speaker 2: so I'd come home from my last session at the gym,

563
00:24:48,814 --> 00:24:50,454
Speaker 2: have a bit of dinner, and then I'd try and

564
00:24:50,494 --> 00:24:53,014
Speaker 2: sleep and it was just useless. So I just couldn't sleep.

565
00:24:53,134 --> 00:24:55,174
Speaker 2: I think I felt like, you know, I've got two weeks.

566
00:24:55,294 --> 00:24:57,574
Speaker 2: This is the rest of my life. Sleep is something

567
00:24:57,654 --> 00:24:59,694
Speaker 2: that is secondary to this issue in front of me.

568
00:24:59,814 --> 00:25:02,414
Speaker 2: And the first night I did it was only day

569
00:25:02,454 --> 00:25:04,254
Speaker 2: two into this sort of two week period, and I

570
00:25:04,334 --> 00:25:06,454
Speaker 2: had a twenty four hour access pass to the Sydney

571
00:25:06,454 --> 00:25:09,094
Speaker 2: Cricket Ground because I was a contracted player there, and

572
00:25:09,174 --> 00:25:11,454
Speaker 2: i'd go there into the gym and i'd crutch myself

573
00:25:11,534 --> 00:25:14,494
Speaker 2: in and security guards noticed the lights on the first

574
00:25:14,614 --> 00:25:17,494
Speaker 2: night and I could see him marching on in, almost

575
00:25:17,494 --> 00:25:19,854
Speaker 2: thinking like I was an intruder and I definitely shouldn't

576
00:25:19,854 --> 00:25:21,854
Speaker 2: have been there. It was they didn't have opening hours,

577
00:25:21,894 --> 00:25:23,454
Speaker 2: but you know, it was an unwritten rule that you're

578
00:25:23,574 --> 00:25:26,134
Speaker 2: not there at two o'clock in the morning. And so

579
00:25:26,534 --> 00:25:28,414
Speaker 2: they come rushing on in and I're about ready to

580
00:25:28,694 --> 00:25:30,734
Speaker 2: scream and kick the house down. And they said, Calf, like,

581
00:25:30,854 --> 00:25:32,534
Speaker 2: what are you doing here, mate? It's two o'clock. And

582
00:25:32,614 --> 00:25:34,534
Speaker 2: I said, yeah, I know, and I said, oh, as

583
00:25:34,574 --> 00:25:35,974
Speaker 2: you can see, it's a bit of a struggle at

584
00:25:35,974 --> 00:25:39,174
Speaker 2: the moment. So I explained the situation and Bobby, the

585
00:25:39,454 --> 00:25:41,494
Speaker 2: older guy who always drew the short straw, he just

586
00:25:41,614 --> 00:25:44,814
Speaker 2: disappeared and he sort of was like, Oh, he's gone

587
00:25:44,894 --> 00:25:47,534
Speaker 2: and comes back like literally four minutes later or something,

588
00:25:47,614 --> 00:25:50,734
Speaker 2: and he just had this roll of electrical tape and

589
00:25:50,854 --> 00:25:52,574
Speaker 2: I was like, what's he doing there? And he said, look, Cath,

590
00:25:52,894 --> 00:25:54,254
Speaker 2: I don't know, mate. This is just an idea. What

591
00:25:54,334 --> 00:25:56,134
Speaker 2: if I strap your leg into the spin bright help

592
00:25:56,174 --> 00:25:57,654
Speaker 2: you get in it. I'll shrap your leg in and

593
00:25:57,734 --> 00:25:59,174
Speaker 2: then I've got to go back just to make sure

594
00:25:59,174 --> 00:26:01,534
Speaker 2: I'm doing my job, and I'll come back in forty

595
00:26:01,574 --> 00:26:03,254
Speaker 2: five minutes. How about that, and I can unstrap you

596
00:26:03,334 --> 00:26:06,454
Speaker 2: and put you into the next machine. And these moments

597
00:26:06,494 --> 00:26:08,774
Speaker 2: of kindness that kept showing up for me, my brother, Bobby,

598
00:26:08,854 --> 00:26:12,334
Speaker 2: all those people, and I guess me understanding the power

599
00:26:12,374 --> 00:26:14,014
Speaker 2: of kindness and what that can do for a person,

600
00:26:14,134 --> 00:26:16,734
Speaker 2: because I remember thinking to myself in that moment with Bobby,

601
00:26:17,374 --> 00:26:20,054
Speaker 2: he's not a medical expert or a professional or anything

602
00:26:20,134 --> 00:26:21,694
Speaker 2: like that. He's just a man who cares, and he

603
00:26:21,774 --> 00:26:24,094
Speaker 2: cared enough to help me. And I experienced so many

604
00:26:24,174 --> 00:26:27,334
Speaker 2: moments like that throughout my journey and story, and that's

605
00:26:27,414 --> 00:26:30,134
Speaker 2: really what inspired this movement of kindness now and the

606
00:26:30,174 --> 00:26:31,774
Speaker 2: book and the journey that I actually went on that

607
00:26:31,814 --> 00:26:34,094
Speaker 2: I've written about it was just understanding that the great

608
00:26:34,134 --> 00:26:36,974
Speaker 2: responsibility that we all have is individuals, regardless of who

609
00:26:37,014 --> 00:26:39,934
Speaker 2: we're meeting a socioeconomic status, whoever is it, be the

610
00:26:39,974 --> 00:26:42,014
Speaker 2: person that you're walking on the street or the person

611
00:26:42,094 --> 00:26:45,854
Speaker 2: that makes you coffee, every interaction is a really good opportunity,

612
00:26:46,134 --> 00:26:48,574
Speaker 2: and it's to lift someone up through using your manners

613
00:26:48,614 --> 00:26:51,574
Speaker 2: saying thanks please, or encouraging someone, or it can have

614
00:26:51,654 --> 00:26:54,734
Speaker 2: a very detrimental impact by being rude and short and

615
00:26:55,254 --> 00:26:56,774
Speaker 2: all those sorts of things. And I think when we

616
00:26:56,894 --> 00:26:59,894
Speaker 2: understand that opportunity and the great privilege that we have

617
00:26:59,974 --> 00:27:02,294
Speaker 2: as human beings to go up or have that experience

618
00:27:02,374 --> 00:27:04,974
Speaker 2: go up or down, that's a pretty powerful thing for

619
00:27:05,094 --> 00:27:07,494
Speaker 2: us to all consider every single day. And those moments

620
00:27:07,534 --> 00:27:09,534
Speaker 2: and those micro moments that where people showed up for

621
00:27:09,694 --> 00:27:13,094
Speaker 2: me have been profoundly impactful. And you don't go through

622
00:27:13,134 --> 00:27:14,934
Speaker 2: what I have and overcome it and live to tell

623
00:27:14,974 --> 00:27:17,854
Speaker 2: the stories without receiving a lot of kindness. And that's

624
00:27:17,894 --> 00:27:20,414
Speaker 2: my job now is to propel that mission and that

625
00:27:20,534 --> 00:27:21,294
Speaker 2: message as well.

626
00:27:22,614 --> 00:27:27,534
Speaker 1: After the break, Kat's incredible mission to learn to walk again.

627
00:27:30,534 --> 00:27:32,014
Speaker 1: You're going through all of this, you drag this leg

628
00:27:32,054 --> 00:27:35,534
Speaker 1: around for two weeks. The literally night before they're going

629
00:27:35,574 --> 00:27:37,734
Speaker 1: to cut it off because you're like, it's not coming

630
00:27:37,814 --> 00:27:42,334
Speaker 1: back good. This is pretty much a final thing. You're

631
00:27:42,374 --> 00:27:44,054
Speaker 1: going to get up in the middle of the night

632
00:27:44,094 --> 00:27:46,494
Speaker 1: again you thought on the floor. Your dad finds you,

633
00:27:47,534 --> 00:27:50,454
Speaker 1: takes you in to hospital, and they go hang on

634
00:27:50,694 --> 00:27:52,494
Speaker 1: actually because this whole time they hadn't really told you

635
00:27:52,614 --> 00:27:55,934
Speaker 1: why your leg wasn't doing what it was supposed to do. Right,

636
00:27:56,814 --> 00:28:00,254
Speaker 1: They rush you in and they've actually find that the

637
00:28:00,334 --> 00:28:03,534
Speaker 1: surgeon has accidentally nicked you femoral artery, which for most people,

638
00:28:03,814 --> 00:28:06,494
Speaker 1: if that's damaged, you bleed out pretty damn quick. Right,

639
00:28:06,614 --> 00:28:09,454
Speaker 1: So yours has been bleeding for some time, right, very miniscule,

640
00:28:09,534 --> 00:28:11,734
Speaker 1: a finny little hole, and that's what's going on with

641
00:28:11,814 --> 00:28:15,694
Speaker 1: your leg. Right, So you've been unconscious for half this time, right,

642
00:28:15,734 --> 00:28:17,574
Speaker 1: and you wake up and your panic thinking, oh my god,

643
00:28:17,614 --> 00:28:20,334
Speaker 1: they've cut my leg off and they haven't. In that

644
00:28:20,454 --> 00:28:23,734
Speaker 1: moment when you wake up and you realize okay, actually

645
00:28:24,934 --> 00:28:28,894
Speaker 1: this might be okay. Are you still thinking okay, now

646
00:28:29,014 --> 00:28:33,294
Speaker 1: I can work to walking again, or are you still

647
00:28:33,334 --> 00:28:36,254
Speaker 1: thinking at this stage like I could get my career back,

648
00:28:36,374 --> 00:28:39,134
Speaker 1: Like where are you at in your head? As far

649
00:28:39,214 --> 00:28:40,894
Speaker 1: as where you thought you could go from there.

650
00:28:41,614 --> 00:28:44,694
Speaker 2: Yeah. I remember when I woke up from that surgery,

651
00:28:44,894 --> 00:28:46,854
Speaker 2: the emergency surgery, A studn't I didn't even know what

652
00:28:46,934 --> 00:28:48,974
Speaker 2: because I was underconscious going into it. I just started

653
00:28:49,014 --> 00:28:51,374
Speaker 2: feeling around is this my leg? Like or is it

654
00:28:51,414 --> 00:28:53,214
Speaker 2: a prosthetic? And I was like, it's real and the

655
00:28:53,294 --> 00:28:56,614
Speaker 2: doctors could see I think of the panic. Yep, it's attached.

656
00:28:56,694 --> 00:28:59,574
Speaker 2: Promise it's still attached. But maybe it's no good, Like

657
00:28:59,614 --> 00:29:01,854
Speaker 2: you got a long way to get this leg healthy

658
00:29:01,894 --> 00:29:03,614
Speaker 2: and to keep it attached because you're at risk of

659
00:29:03,934 --> 00:29:05,694
Speaker 2: all sorts of infection and all that kind of stuff.

660
00:29:05,734 --> 00:29:07,374
Speaker 2: You know, It's this amount of time in hospital and

661
00:29:07,414 --> 00:29:11,934
Speaker 2: then on to rehab for a long time, and I

662
00:29:11,974 --> 00:29:14,214
Speaker 2: think I just felt quite grateful that it was still attached.

663
00:29:14,414 --> 00:29:17,694
Speaker 2: But it's a very good question, because again, throughout all

664
00:29:17,774 --> 00:29:20,494
Speaker 2: of this period of legs and backs and all that

665
00:29:20,574 --> 00:29:23,014
Speaker 2: kind of stuff, I just kept thinking whenever telling me

666
00:29:23,094 --> 00:29:24,494
Speaker 2: that I'm not going to walk again, I was like,

667
00:29:24,574 --> 00:29:27,414
Speaker 2: oh not only And it wasn't in a pig headed

668
00:29:27,414 --> 00:29:30,014
Speaker 2: way or an ego way, but because I loved cricket

669
00:29:30,094 --> 00:29:32,894
Speaker 2: so much, I never considered that my life wouldn't be

670
00:29:33,894 --> 00:29:36,534
Speaker 2: with cricket playing it in some capacity, And so I

671
00:29:36,654 --> 00:29:38,854
Speaker 2: kept thinking, oh, well, I've got the journey of learning

672
00:29:38,854 --> 00:29:40,694
Speaker 2: how to walk again, and then of course I'll play cricket.

673
00:29:41,934 --> 00:29:43,974
Speaker 2: But no, I don't think anyone would ever say that

674
00:29:44,054 --> 00:29:46,574
Speaker 2: that's a possibility. So I was quite naive, I think.

675
00:29:47,694 --> 00:29:51,174
Speaker 1: So back to rehab again, and I was going to

676
00:29:51,214 --> 00:29:53,174
Speaker 1: say in walks in, but he wasn't walking at this stage.

677
00:29:53,294 --> 00:29:59,414
Speaker 1: In wheels in A strapping young rugby player called Jim,

678
00:30:00,414 --> 00:30:04,334
Speaker 1: and he's around the same age as you. He's committed

679
00:30:04,374 --> 00:30:05,894
Speaker 1: to his sport, just like you are.

680
00:30:07,054 --> 00:30:10,534
Speaker 2: Tell me a bit about Jim. So spoke about, you know,

681
00:30:11,054 --> 00:30:13,174
Speaker 2: getting your breath taken away from you. It was in

682
00:30:13,494 --> 00:30:16,014
Speaker 2: a charming way. This time. I'd been there for four weeks,

683
00:30:16,254 --> 00:30:19,134
Speaker 2: so I sort of started to find familiarity in the

684
00:30:19,294 --> 00:30:21,614
Speaker 2: environment that I was in. And I was in the

685
00:30:21,694 --> 00:30:23,734
Speaker 2: high dro room, so just getting out of a pool.

686
00:30:23,774 --> 00:30:26,974
Speaker 2: He was on an induction tour, and again, being that

687
00:30:27,134 --> 00:30:29,294
Speaker 2: kind of stubborn person that I am, I was. You know,

688
00:30:29,334 --> 00:30:31,254
Speaker 2: my phe says, all right, we're done. You jump out

689
00:30:31,254 --> 00:30:32,854
Speaker 2: of the water. He's about to help me out, and

690
00:30:32,934 --> 00:30:34,374
Speaker 2: I felt like I had to do it. All by

691
00:30:34,414 --> 00:30:37,254
Speaker 2: myself and the furthest thing from grace. I've got a

692
00:30:37,334 --> 00:30:39,254
Speaker 2: leg cocked up on the side of the pool, trying

693
00:30:39,294 --> 00:30:40,334
Speaker 2: to get myself out.

694
00:30:40,374 --> 00:30:42,614
Speaker 1: Even with two functional legs, getting out of a pool

695
00:30:42,694 --> 00:30:44,374
Speaker 1: is never graceful, so I can imagine.

696
00:30:44,574 --> 00:30:46,654
Speaker 2: Yeah, so as yeah, I was, yeah, not my best,

697
00:30:46,694 --> 00:30:49,334
Speaker 2: still finest moment, almost elegant moment. And then I just

698
00:30:49,414 --> 00:30:51,654
Speaker 2: looked up and I saw him and I was like, oh, wow,

699
00:30:51,814 --> 00:30:54,534
Speaker 2: well I and immediately was drawn to him, probably because

700
00:30:54,574 --> 00:30:56,574
Speaker 2: I spent a bit of my time with the oldies

701
00:30:56,614 --> 00:30:58,934
Speaker 2: and all that kind of stuff, and I could just

702
00:30:59,054 --> 00:31:01,454
Speaker 2: sense that he was probably a bit overwhelmed. You know.

703
00:31:01,654 --> 00:31:04,614
Speaker 2: Day one for me was a nightmare. I was emotional,

704
00:31:04,774 --> 00:31:07,574
Speaker 2: and it's just so overwhelming because again, like you've had

705
00:31:07,574 --> 00:31:10,294
Speaker 2: your whole life just taken away from you, and yeah,

706
00:31:10,334 --> 00:31:12,254
Speaker 2: there you are in this environment of unknown. And so

707
00:31:12,774 --> 00:31:14,614
Speaker 2: when I got changed, I was like, oh, it would

708
00:31:14,654 --> 00:31:16,094
Speaker 2: have been nice if I had someone to show me

709
00:31:16,134 --> 00:31:18,574
Speaker 2: the ropes, So why didn't I do that for him?

710
00:31:19,254 --> 00:31:20,774
Speaker 2: Of course I was attracted to him as well, as

711
00:31:20,814 --> 00:31:22,094
Speaker 2: that made the job a little bit easier.

712
00:31:23,094 --> 00:31:23,254
Speaker 1: You know.

713
00:31:23,334 --> 00:31:24,814
Speaker 2: It was just you know, hi, I'm cath all that

714
00:31:24,894 --> 00:31:27,254
Speaker 2: kind of stuff. Hig, I'm Jim, and very early days

715
00:31:27,294 --> 00:31:29,174
Speaker 2: it was like, you know, what's landing in here? So

716
00:31:29,334 --> 00:31:31,614
Speaker 2: he had an accident in the Tough Matter obstacle race,

717
00:31:31,654 --> 00:31:34,294
Speaker 2: which is how he landed himself in rehab. And you know,

718
00:31:34,334 --> 00:31:36,734
Speaker 2: I was curious about this life because it sounded like we,

719
00:31:37,174 --> 00:31:40,454
Speaker 2: you know, had very similar interests and backgrounds, and we

720
00:31:40,534 --> 00:31:43,574
Speaker 2: both had a grittiness. So in rehab it can be

721
00:31:43,694 --> 00:31:46,574
Speaker 2: quite a depressing environment and a lot of people succumb

722
00:31:46,614 --> 00:31:50,534
Speaker 2: to depression, and that's completely valid, right. I probably wasn't

723
00:31:50,574 --> 00:31:53,334
Speaker 2: someone immediately who fell into that category, probably because again

724
00:31:53,374 --> 00:31:55,614
Speaker 2: that naivety that I had, and Jim was probably similar

725
00:31:55,654 --> 00:31:58,054
Speaker 2: to that as well. So we just wanted to get

726
00:31:58,054 --> 00:32:00,174
Speaker 2: on with our recovery. I think the mindset that we'd

727
00:32:00,174 --> 00:32:02,414
Speaker 2: adopted was the only people getting us out of here

728
00:32:02,454 --> 00:32:05,334
Speaker 2: at ourselves. So the doctors can help us and prescribe

729
00:32:05,374 --> 00:32:07,254
Speaker 2: and do all that kind of stuff, but if we

730
00:32:07,334 --> 00:32:09,054
Speaker 2: want to get out of this place in a hurry,

731
00:32:09,094 --> 00:32:11,294
Speaker 2: then it's on us to do the work. And that

732
00:32:11,414 --> 00:32:13,854
Speaker 2: was really helpful to have a person of like minded

733
00:32:14,094 --> 00:32:16,654
Speaker 2: sort of nature next to me spurwing each other on

734
00:32:16,814 --> 00:32:19,734
Speaker 2: and it didn't take long. Like I was a love

735
00:32:19,774 --> 00:32:21,294
Speaker 2: at first sight. I mean I had a crush on

736
00:32:21,374 --> 00:32:24,174
Speaker 2: him almost immediately and was very attracted to him, not

737
00:32:24,374 --> 00:32:26,174
Speaker 2: just physically, but also I was like, he just had

738
00:32:26,214 --> 00:32:28,814
Speaker 2: a very beautiful nature about him and very humble. And

739
00:32:29,414 --> 00:32:30,934
Speaker 2: I think it was within it, like a week, I

740
00:32:31,014 --> 00:32:34,694
Speaker 2: was like, oh, he's wow. Yeah he's sort of taken yeah,

741
00:32:34,814 --> 00:32:38,214
Speaker 2: taken me by big surprise. And I wasn't sure if

742
00:32:38,254 --> 00:32:40,014
Speaker 2: he felt the same way because I didn't know him

743
00:32:40,014 --> 00:32:41,734
Speaker 2: prior to this and all that kind of stuff. And

744
00:32:41,814 --> 00:32:44,294
Speaker 2: then he must have learned my schedule. I'd definitely learned his,

745
00:32:44,694 --> 00:32:47,654
Speaker 2: and I remember he knew which room I would be

746
00:32:47,774 --> 00:32:49,694
Speaker 2: having treatment in one day, and I could hear him

747
00:32:49,854 --> 00:32:52,854
Speaker 2: outside of the room, you know, on the phone. Anyway,

748
00:32:53,134 --> 00:32:55,054
Speaker 2: sort of conversation went on and I'm getting about to

749
00:32:55,254 --> 00:32:57,454
Speaker 2: sort of get out, getting my chair and leave the room,

750
00:32:57,974 --> 00:32:59,174
Speaker 2: and then his phone started to ring.

751
00:32:59,934 --> 00:33:03,054
Speaker 1: Oh so God busted on the phone.

752
00:33:03,294 --> 00:33:09,254
Speaker 2: So yeah, I mean, what were twenty three, twenty four?

753
00:33:09,374 --> 00:33:12,334
Speaker 2: So so sort of this was my first real you know,

754
00:33:12,374 --> 00:33:14,774
Speaker 2: I had high school flings where your best friend breaks

755
00:33:14,814 --> 00:33:16,494
Speaker 2: up with him for you and all that kind of stuff,

756
00:33:16,534 --> 00:33:19,854
Speaker 2: but it was my first serious relationship, probably because I

757
00:33:20,134 --> 00:33:22,694
Speaker 2: wanted to just pursue cricket and be focused on that.

758
00:33:22,934 --> 00:33:25,694
Speaker 2: So yeah, for me, it was bliss. So I think

759
00:33:25,734 --> 00:33:27,454
Speaker 2: after that, you know, we had conversations. I was like

760
00:33:27,494 --> 00:33:29,414
Speaker 2: I really like you and all that kind of stuff,

761
00:33:29,414 --> 00:33:31,294
Speaker 2: and he's like, we'll same and you sort of turbo

762
00:33:31,414 --> 00:33:36,294
Speaker 2: charge a relationship in rehab because you're basically living together, right, Like, how.

763
00:33:36,214 --> 00:33:38,974
Speaker 1: Do you actually have a relationship in rehab? Like it's

764
00:33:39,054 --> 00:33:41,374
Speaker 1: not like you're going out for dinner, Like, how do

765
00:33:41,454 --> 00:33:43,134
Speaker 1: you even have a relationship in rehab?

766
00:33:43,414 --> 00:33:46,734
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, well, it's just different kind of love,

767
00:33:46,854 --> 00:33:48,934
Speaker 2: like I always say, you know, like normal young kids

768
00:33:48,974 --> 00:33:50,734
Speaker 2: in love and sir long walks on the beach. We

769
00:33:50,854 --> 00:33:53,334
Speaker 2: did wheelchair races in the corridor and things like that.

770
00:33:53,574 --> 00:33:56,254
Speaker 2: So Sundays, for the most part, you could get to leave,

771
00:33:56,334 --> 00:33:57,854
Speaker 2: but you could get a leave fast on any day.

772
00:33:57,974 --> 00:34:00,934
Speaker 2: So in rehab it's not you have to have like

773
00:34:00,974 --> 00:34:03,614
Speaker 2: a guardian or a person responsible to sign you out,

774
00:34:03,694 --> 00:34:06,334
Speaker 2: for example. But on Sundays there's a lot less going

775
00:34:06,374 --> 00:34:08,374
Speaker 2: on in rehab. You're not doing exercises. You can do

776
00:34:08,454 --> 00:34:11,134
Speaker 2: top ups and stuff like that, but really there's no

777
00:34:11,294 --> 00:34:12,854
Speaker 2: real need for you to be that You're just sitting

778
00:34:12,854 --> 00:34:16,054
Speaker 2: there quite bored, so Jim and I would often get

779
00:34:16,134 --> 00:34:18,494
Speaker 2: someone to sign us out or whatever, you know, go

780
00:34:18,574 --> 00:34:21,454
Speaker 2: to a cafe. Nothing adventurous, but more so when you're

781
00:34:21,534 --> 00:34:23,854
Speaker 2: being confined to rehab for a week, even just going

782
00:34:23,894 --> 00:34:27,214
Speaker 2: to a cafe is bliss. So we actually had one

783
00:34:27,214 --> 00:34:30,534
Speaker 2: of those Sydney Coffee Guides at the time. I love coffee,

784
00:34:30,574 --> 00:34:32,294
Speaker 2: and I think I got it for my birthday of

785
00:34:32,294 --> 00:34:35,214
Speaker 2: the year prior, and so we'd pick little locations to

786
00:34:35,334 --> 00:34:37,214
Speaker 2: go and try out the coffee and we'd rate them.

787
00:34:37,374 --> 00:34:38,894
Speaker 2: So I've got the book still and it's got my

788
00:34:39,054 --> 00:34:41,454
Speaker 2: rating and gyms and the actual rating from the Coffee Guide,

789
00:34:41,494 --> 00:34:43,494
Speaker 2: and so that was probably our favorite thing to do.

790
00:34:43,654 --> 00:34:45,974
Speaker 2: And yeah, we just made the experience our own. But

791
00:34:46,214 --> 00:34:48,214
Speaker 2: it's sort of almost like, you know, our rooms weren't

792
00:34:48,254 --> 00:34:50,174
Speaker 2: too far from each other. We always got caught in

793
00:34:50,254 --> 00:34:52,774
Speaker 2: the wrong room, which you know, we're adults, but it

794
00:34:52,854 --> 00:34:55,054
Speaker 2: just a lot like school camp, right, you get told

795
00:34:55,414 --> 00:34:57,814
Speaker 2: it got so naughty though, like because every time it

796
00:34:57,814 --> 00:34:59,334
Speaker 2: would happen, like a nurse would burst in and we

797
00:34:59,414 --> 00:35:01,254
Speaker 2: were like it wasn't like we were like caught in

798
00:35:01,334 --> 00:35:04,934
Speaker 2: the act, but we're you know, doing yeah things, yeah,

799
00:35:06,294 --> 00:35:07,654
Speaker 2: and then they burst in and be like, you know,

800
00:35:08,494 --> 00:35:10,174
Speaker 2: you'd fix up your quotes, so I do whatever you

801
00:35:10,254 --> 00:35:12,374
Speaker 2: need to do. And you felt so naughty, and I'm like, well,

802
00:35:12,414 --> 00:35:14,614
Speaker 2: they're twenty four years old, like we're allowed to do this.

803
00:35:14,854 --> 00:35:19,934
Speaker 2: It's just weird. Yeah exactly. So you'd get the sly

804
00:35:20,174 --> 00:35:22,054
Speaker 2: sort of smile off stuff like when they see you,

805
00:35:22,134 --> 00:35:23,894
Speaker 2: and even patience and they're like, we know what you've

806
00:35:23,934 --> 00:35:26,294
Speaker 2: been up to. Yeah, all of that kind of stuff.

807
00:35:26,374 --> 00:35:29,254
Speaker 2: So it's just different. It's just like making your environment

808
00:35:29,654 --> 00:35:33,134
Speaker 2: your own. Really it's but it's definitely turbocharged. It happens

809
00:35:33,174 --> 00:35:35,974
Speaker 2: a lot quicker. You fall in love. I certainly did anyway.

810
00:35:36,374 --> 00:35:40,294
Speaker 2: I remember three months into our relationship having a coffee

811
00:35:40,334 --> 00:35:43,214
Speaker 2: one morning and we were just gone to myself, Wow,

812
00:35:43,374 --> 00:35:47,774
Speaker 2: this feeling of love is incredible my first relationship. But also,

813
00:35:47,854 --> 00:35:49,894
Speaker 2: go on, I'm actually quite grateful I've breake my back

814
00:35:50,014 --> 00:35:54,174
Speaker 2: because the thing that i'd always, you know, put every

815
00:35:54,214 --> 00:35:56,094
Speaker 2: effort into was cricket and all that kind of stuff.

816
00:35:56,094 --> 00:35:57,734
Speaker 2: And I get that and that was part of my identity.

817
00:35:57,774 --> 00:35:59,334
Speaker 2: But I was like, wow, if I didn't break my back,

818
00:35:59,374 --> 00:36:02,334
Speaker 2: I wouldn't have met this person who genuinely meant everything

819
00:36:02,414 --> 00:36:05,494
Speaker 2: to me. And the love that we're building and the

820
00:36:05,614 --> 00:36:08,414
Speaker 2: life that we've been planning together to get us through rehab.

821
00:36:08,574 --> 00:36:11,174
Speaker 2: So god, it was tough. Like even when I had Gym, like,

822
00:36:11,214 --> 00:36:13,534
Speaker 2: I felt like the luckiest person in the world. And

823
00:36:13,574 --> 00:36:15,934
Speaker 2: I've got this buddy as well in rehabs, so it's

824
00:36:15,974 --> 00:36:17,974
Speaker 2: like my best friend, my partner, the person I love.

825
00:36:18,774 --> 00:36:21,534
Speaker 2: But rehab's tough, especially when your body's not doing what

826
00:36:21,574 --> 00:36:23,214
Speaker 2: you're telling it to and all that kind of stuff.

827
00:36:23,254 --> 00:36:25,454
Speaker 2: And there's no denying that both of us found that

828
00:36:25,574 --> 00:36:28,374
Speaker 2: incredibly challenging and frustrating to have been able to use

829
00:36:28,414 --> 00:36:30,934
Speaker 2: your body in an athletic way like we had and

830
00:36:31,014 --> 00:36:32,534
Speaker 2: to then have that taken away from you and your

831
00:36:32,534 --> 00:36:34,054
Speaker 2: body won't do what you want it to and all

832
00:36:34,094 --> 00:36:35,014
Speaker 2: that kind of stuff was.

833
00:36:35,094 --> 00:36:37,454
Speaker 1: I imagine frustrations are pretty damn high.

834
00:36:37,494 --> 00:36:40,374
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was fucked. Yeah, it was really shit. So yeah,

835
00:36:40,534 --> 00:36:42,694
Speaker 2: just spurring each other on. So for us, it was like,

836
00:36:42,814 --> 00:36:44,734
Speaker 2: all right, let's dangle the curroent in front of us,

837
00:36:45,174 --> 00:36:47,414
Speaker 2: what does life look like when we finish this and

838
00:36:47,734 --> 00:36:50,774
Speaker 2: our environment is, you know, home, what's the life that

839
00:36:50,814 --> 00:36:52,454
Speaker 2: we're going to dream together so that we get through

840
00:36:52,534 --> 00:36:53,894
Speaker 2: this and we can look back on it and be

841
00:36:53,974 --> 00:36:55,734
Speaker 2: proud and know that that was just a glitch in

842
00:36:55,814 --> 00:36:57,614
Speaker 2: our life, but it actually brought us together.

843
00:36:57,934 --> 00:36:59,654
Speaker 1: What a story to tell the grandkids, right.

844
00:36:59,734 --> 00:37:02,334
Speaker 2: Absolutely, I mean who finds love in a rehab? Yeah?

845
00:37:02,654 --> 00:37:05,254
Speaker 2: So yeah, So for us it was four kids, three

846
00:37:05,334 --> 00:37:07,254
Speaker 2: boys and a girl, just like he was an only child,

847
00:37:07,414 --> 00:37:10,734
Speaker 2: so he loved the idea of others and having big

848
00:37:10,814 --> 00:37:13,134
Speaker 2: family and all that kind of stuff. And pet turtles.

849
00:37:13,174 --> 00:37:15,094
Speaker 2: We wanted dogs, you know, we were going to set

850
00:37:15,174 --> 00:37:17,254
Speaker 2: up in the Gold Curse. That's where Jim was originally from.

851
00:37:17,414 --> 00:37:20,414
Speaker 2: His mum lived there still, so yeah, and wed I

852
00:37:20,454 --> 00:37:22,254
Speaker 2: adored her. Wendy used to come down and visit and

853
00:37:22,294 --> 00:37:24,134
Speaker 2: all that kind of stuff. So for us, these dreams

854
00:37:24,214 --> 00:37:27,014
Speaker 2: really made that grind of rehab so much more worth

855
00:37:27,054 --> 00:37:29,534
Speaker 2: it in the moment in that yet was tough. We

856
00:37:29,654 --> 00:37:31,414
Speaker 2: got through it though, and we've got this to fight

857
00:37:31,534 --> 00:37:33,534
Speaker 2: for at the end of it. So yeah, a truly

858
00:37:33,654 --> 00:37:34,734
Speaker 2: unique and magical time.

859
00:37:35,374 --> 00:37:38,494
Speaker 1: So you get out of rehab before Jim does. So

860
00:37:38,614 --> 00:37:40,334
Speaker 1: Jim's a little bit behind you as far as he

861
00:37:40,374 --> 00:37:42,774
Speaker 1: got injured after you got injured, right, so he's a

862
00:37:42,774 --> 00:37:44,974
Speaker 1: little bit behind, so he's still there. You go and

863
00:37:45,054 --> 00:37:47,494
Speaker 1: try and kind of get back into some semblance of

864
00:37:47,574 --> 00:37:51,134
Speaker 1: normal life while still dealing with your physical injuries. But

865
00:37:51,214 --> 00:37:53,734
Speaker 1: you're still going to visit him, and he's making progress

866
00:37:53,854 --> 00:37:56,214
Speaker 1: and everything's looking great, and you've signed a lease on

867
00:37:56,294 --> 00:37:58,454
Speaker 1: a place on the Goldie and you guys are ready

868
00:37:58,534 --> 00:38:01,854
Speaker 1: to go, and then it's the night before he's going

869
00:38:01,894 --> 00:38:04,094
Speaker 1: to come out of rehab. What happened.

870
00:38:05,254 --> 00:38:07,974
Speaker 2: I was an outpatient, so I could visit rehab three

871
00:38:08,054 --> 00:38:09,974
Speaker 2: mornings a week, and then I went to work or

872
00:38:10,454 --> 00:38:13,534
Speaker 2: home or just tried to transition into normal life. And

873
00:38:14,174 --> 00:38:17,334
Speaker 2: it was actually really tough for us because, as I said,

874
00:38:17,414 --> 00:38:20,534
Speaker 2: you turbo charged this start of a relationship and then

875
00:38:20,614 --> 00:38:22,614
Speaker 2: suddenly you're not around each other every day of the week,

876
00:38:22,654 --> 00:38:24,894
Speaker 2: twenty four hours a day. So there's just support networks

877
00:38:24,934 --> 00:38:27,974
Speaker 2: with inside the building, right, Yeah, so for him as

878
00:38:28,094 --> 00:38:30,014
Speaker 2: much as for me as well. So I'm there like

879
00:38:30,134 --> 00:38:32,974
Speaker 2: navigating the unknown of yeah, trying to find the house

880
00:38:33,014 --> 00:38:34,814
Speaker 2: that we're going to live in, and all these dreams

881
00:38:34,854 --> 00:38:36,494
Speaker 2: that we've been dreaming. It was on me to sort

882
00:38:36,534 --> 00:38:38,454
Speaker 2: of find a way to make all that work and

883
00:38:38,654 --> 00:38:40,974
Speaker 2: while trying to get a part time job and all

884
00:38:41,014 --> 00:38:42,614
Speaker 2: those sorts of things as well. And I think it

885
00:38:42,614 --> 00:38:45,734
Speaker 2: would have been much tougher on Jim in those moments

886
00:38:45,774 --> 00:38:47,694
Speaker 2: as well, because suddenly he's got this support in this

887
00:38:47,894 --> 00:38:51,054
Speaker 2: environment that's just not conducive thriving. And then I'm just

888
00:38:51,254 --> 00:38:52,894
Speaker 2: sort of gone. I can visit and do all that

889
00:38:52,974 --> 00:38:55,254
Speaker 2: kind of stuff, but not the same, right, not the same.

890
00:38:55,294 --> 00:38:57,174
Speaker 2: And I can't speak for him, of course, but yeah,

891
00:38:57,254 --> 00:39:00,574
Speaker 2: tremendously difficult, and I'll never forget it. And the day

892
00:39:00,614 --> 00:39:02,974
Speaker 2: before his release from full time care, yeah, just put

893
00:39:03,014 --> 00:39:05,534
Speaker 2: the lease on the house together, and the dreams that

894
00:39:05,574 --> 00:39:07,974
Speaker 2: we've been dreaming for the twelve months that we've been

895
00:39:08,014 --> 00:39:10,934
Speaker 2: together are about to come true the very next day

896
00:39:11,254 --> 00:39:14,574
Speaker 2: when that night he tragically passed away via suicide, so

897
00:39:16,094 --> 00:39:20,654
Speaker 2: took his own life. And God, it crushed me. And

898
00:39:20,774 --> 00:39:23,254
Speaker 2: it still doesn't like to I'm okay talking about it,

899
00:39:23,334 --> 00:39:25,894
Speaker 2: of course, but still it just brings up so much

900
00:39:25,934 --> 00:39:31,054
Speaker 2: emotion in that it was so inexplicable, so not one

901
00:39:31,094 --> 00:39:34,134
Speaker 2: person saw it coming, myself included, of course. If I had.

902
00:39:34,174 --> 00:39:36,254
Speaker 2: Of of course, I would have done everything within my

903
00:39:36,374 --> 00:39:39,414
Speaker 2: power to keep him here with us. But it was

904
00:39:39,534 --> 00:39:42,214
Speaker 2: just such a shock to have worked for so long

905
00:39:42,494 --> 00:39:46,854
Speaker 2: to overcome these injuries and then to have within a

906
00:39:46,974 --> 00:39:51,414
Speaker 2: day of it's literally touching it. And I'll never know why.

907
00:39:51,694 --> 00:39:53,414
Speaker 2: None of us are mind readers and all those sorts

908
00:39:53,454 --> 00:39:55,174
Speaker 2: of things. But you know, I didn't see it coming.

909
00:39:55,254 --> 00:39:57,454
Speaker 2: Friends didn't see it coming, family didn't see it coming.

910
00:39:58,254 --> 00:40:00,574
Speaker 2: I guess I had to learn very much the hard

911
00:40:00,654 --> 00:40:04,774
Speaker 2: way and through a very lengthy processing period, that we

912
00:40:04,894 --> 00:40:07,934
Speaker 2: never truly understand what another person is thinking. We can

913
00:40:08,054 --> 00:40:09,254
Speaker 2: think that we do, and we can think that we

914
00:40:09,334 --> 00:40:11,614
Speaker 2: know someone well and all those sorts of things, but

915
00:40:11,774 --> 00:40:13,694
Speaker 2: we never truly like, I have little secrets that I

916
00:40:13,694 --> 00:40:15,854
Speaker 2: haven't told a saul, and I think we all do

917
00:40:15,974 --> 00:40:18,254
Speaker 2: that at various parts. And I guess I had to

918
00:40:18,334 --> 00:40:21,294
Speaker 2: accept that Jim had those things too, and for him

919
00:40:21,374 --> 00:40:25,094
Speaker 2: the pain of living was too great in those moments.

920
00:40:25,974 --> 00:40:28,694
Speaker 2: But my God, probably the two year period following that

921
00:40:29,014 --> 00:40:32,814
Speaker 2: was easily the toughest of my life in that I

922
00:40:33,054 --> 00:40:35,214
Speaker 2: lost all sense of self. I didn't know who I was,

923
00:40:36,374 --> 00:40:38,014
Speaker 2: where I needed to go, what I needed to be.

924
00:40:38,694 --> 00:40:41,134
Speaker 2: I genuinely never thought that I would ever find happiness,

925
00:40:41,214 --> 00:40:44,534
Speaker 2: not in love or relationships, just with him myself. I thought, Wow,

926
00:40:45,574 --> 00:40:47,734
Speaker 2: not only is this goal that I've had since I

927
00:40:47,814 --> 00:40:50,174
Speaker 2: was a little kid playing cricket, just vanished in front

928
00:40:50,214 --> 00:40:52,734
Speaker 2: of my eyes. And then amongst that, I find this

929
00:40:53,014 --> 00:40:56,214
Speaker 2: incredible light in the person that I genuinely want to

930
00:40:56,214 --> 00:40:57,614
Speaker 2: spend the rest of my life. He was the love

931
00:40:57,694 --> 00:40:59,774
Speaker 2: of my life, and now I've lost the person who

932
00:40:59,854 --> 00:41:01,454
Speaker 2: taught me that there was so much more to life

933
00:41:01,534 --> 00:41:03,374
Speaker 2: than hitting the ball around the park. But I've lost

934
00:41:04,134 --> 00:41:07,374
Speaker 2: I don't have any of it anymore. And I don't

935
00:41:07,374 --> 00:41:10,254
Speaker 2: think I could ever compare the pain of and losing

936
00:41:10,334 --> 00:41:13,734
Speaker 2: him to anything physical or emotional. Ever. For me, I

937
00:41:13,814 --> 00:41:17,494
Speaker 2: don't think I'll ever endure anything as hard as that, which.

938
00:41:17,374 --> 00:41:19,974
Speaker 1: Is incredible because you've been through so much pain and

939
00:41:20,134 --> 00:41:25,174
Speaker 1: so much trauma yourself. Just goes to show how powerful

940
00:41:25,254 --> 00:41:27,334
Speaker 1: human connection can be. Right if you can go through

941
00:41:27,414 --> 00:41:28,974
Speaker 1: all of the trauma that you've been through, And that

942
00:41:29,214 --> 00:41:32,294
Speaker 1: is the hardest part, is losing Gym. Like how important

943
00:41:32,374 --> 00:41:33,374
Speaker 1: human connection.

944
00:41:33,214 --> 00:41:35,654
Speaker 2: Is, Oh, it's the most important. I don't think any

945
00:41:35,654 --> 00:41:38,494
Speaker 2: of us are designed to go through life alone. Absolutely not.

946
00:41:38,774 --> 00:41:42,054
Speaker 2: It's the most important thing. I think I believe is

947
00:41:42,134 --> 00:41:45,094
Speaker 2: that we want to feel seen and valued and heard.

948
00:41:45,174 --> 00:41:47,054
Speaker 2: And when you find a person that gives you all

949
00:41:47,094 --> 00:41:49,694
Speaker 2: of that plus more a sense of humor and she's

950
00:41:50,214 --> 00:41:54,094
Speaker 2: gratitude and humility, and that is what life's about. I

951
00:41:54,214 --> 00:41:56,054
Speaker 2: think connection, but you know, to love and to be

952
00:41:56,214 --> 00:42:00,094
Speaker 2: loved in any capacity, not necessarily romantically, but to have

953
00:42:00,294 --> 00:42:02,254
Speaker 2: human beings in your life that value you and that

954
00:42:02,374 --> 00:42:04,894
Speaker 2: you value, And that is the true essence of life,

955
00:42:04,974 --> 00:42:06,934
Speaker 2: isn't it. I don't know. It might be wrong, but

956
00:42:07,134 --> 00:42:09,374
Speaker 2: for me, that's how I would design my life. To

957
00:42:09,414 --> 00:42:12,854
Speaker 2: be around as many wonderful people as possible, and to

958
00:42:12,974 --> 00:42:15,854
Speaker 2: have one that's now gone a couple of others as

959
00:42:15,894 --> 00:42:19,174
Speaker 2: well since those moments. It's hard, but I guess that's

960
00:42:19,334 --> 00:42:21,854
Speaker 2: part of life as well, is navigating through these losses,

961
00:42:21,934 --> 00:42:24,814
Speaker 2: and for me, I wanted to. My story is now

962
00:42:24,894 --> 00:42:27,254
Speaker 2: quite public, and I hear from so many. I think

963
00:42:27,294 --> 00:42:30,414
Speaker 2: we're called survivors of suicide when you lose someone immediately

964
00:42:30,494 --> 00:42:33,254
Speaker 2: close to you in that capacity, And the most common

965
00:42:33,334 --> 00:42:35,614
Speaker 2: question I get is like, how did you navigate your anger?

966
00:42:36,854 --> 00:42:38,334
Speaker 2: And I used to get confused and I was like,

967
00:42:38,814 --> 00:42:40,534
Speaker 2: what do you mean? And they go, you know, aren't

968
00:42:40,534 --> 00:42:43,334
Speaker 2: you're angry at him? And I was like, oh no,

969
00:42:43,734 --> 00:42:46,094
Speaker 2: not one part of me. He's angry at him, perhaps

970
00:42:46,174 --> 00:42:50,694
Speaker 2: towards myself a little bit. I struggled immensely with PTSD

971
00:42:51,454 --> 00:42:54,534
Speaker 2: in the aftermath of his passing, and I wasn't afraid

972
00:42:54,574 --> 00:42:57,334
Speaker 2: of seeking mental health support because of the stigma attached

973
00:42:57,374 --> 00:42:59,694
Speaker 2: to that. It wasn't about that, it was if I

974
00:42:59,814 --> 00:43:02,574
Speaker 2: seek support for this, I've got a verbalize what I'm

975
00:43:02,614 --> 00:43:05,374
Speaker 2: feeling and experiencing in my own self, and I don't

976
00:43:05,374 --> 00:43:07,774
Speaker 2: think I'm ready to hear that yet. And so I

977
00:43:07,894 --> 00:43:11,334
Speaker 2: prolonged my grief and trauma and symptoms and all those

978
00:43:11,334 --> 00:43:14,334
Speaker 2: sorts of things out of fear of actually understanding what

979
00:43:14,414 --> 00:43:16,054
Speaker 2: I thought about it. But the more I had to

980
00:43:16,094 --> 00:43:18,014
Speaker 2: sit down and I had to hit rock bottom before

981
00:43:18,054 --> 00:43:21,494
Speaker 2: I accepted help. I had a complete emotional breakdown about

982
00:43:21,534 --> 00:43:24,574
Speaker 2: ten months after his passing, and I just remember thinking,

983
00:43:24,614 --> 00:43:26,774
Speaker 2: I'll never be happy again. Not only will I never

984
00:43:26,854 --> 00:43:29,054
Speaker 2: be happy, I'll probably never smile again because I don't

985
00:43:29,054 --> 00:43:32,454
Speaker 2: know how to overcome this and live without him. How

986
00:43:32,494 --> 00:43:35,494
Speaker 2: do I integrate him into my life ever in a

987
00:43:35,574 --> 00:43:37,934
Speaker 2: non physical sense, I don't know how to do that,

988
00:43:38,054 --> 00:43:39,814
Speaker 2: and I don't know if I want to to be honest,

989
00:43:39,934 --> 00:43:43,254
Speaker 2: and the anger that I felt it was probably more

990
00:43:43,294 --> 00:43:45,774
Speaker 2: towards myself. I took on so much guilt and shame,

991
00:43:46,614 --> 00:43:49,254
Speaker 2: not in the stigma of suicide, but more so, I

992
00:43:49,334 --> 00:43:51,134
Speaker 2: felt like I'd let him down all the time, and

993
00:43:51,174 --> 00:43:54,334
Speaker 2: I probably still do to a certain degree in the

994
00:43:54,654 --> 00:43:57,294
Speaker 2: you know, the photos that we got together and he's smiling,

995
00:43:57,374 --> 00:44:00,534
Speaker 2: and is he actually happy or was he putting on

996
00:44:00,654 --> 00:44:02,974
Speaker 2: that smile, like because I was really happy in that moment,

997
00:44:03,254 --> 00:44:05,614
Speaker 2: and it felt like maybe he wasn't. And I felt

998
00:44:05,694 --> 00:44:07,814
Speaker 2: then guilty because I was happy and he wasn't. And

999
00:44:09,054 --> 00:44:11,614
Speaker 2: I just came searching for clues when he said that thing.

1000
00:44:12,814 --> 00:44:14,294
Speaker 2: Did he mean it? Did he mean that in the

1001
00:44:14,334 --> 00:44:16,854
Speaker 2: way that he was struggling, but he just didn't verbalize

1002
00:44:16,854 --> 00:44:18,294
Speaker 2: it in the way that I thought I needed to

1003
00:44:18,374 --> 00:44:20,894
Speaker 2: hear to understand that. And I just did that for

1004
00:44:20,974 --> 00:44:22,574
Speaker 2: two years straight. I was like, Oh, he meant that,

1005
00:44:23,134 --> 00:44:24,574
Speaker 2: but he didn't say that him. Do you know what

1006
00:44:24,614 --> 00:44:26,294
Speaker 2: I mean? And so you just rack your brain and

1007
00:44:27,254 --> 00:44:29,374
Speaker 2: it was so difficult, and I just took on so

1008
00:44:29,494 --> 00:44:32,334
Speaker 2: much responsibility of his death in that, you know, I

1009
00:44:32,454 --> 00:44:34,254
Speaker 2: was the closest person to him, and I knew his

1010
00:44:34,294 --> 00:44:36,774
Speaker 2: struggle because I was going through it too, and I

1011
00:44:36,894 --> 00:44:40,054
Speaker 2: opened up to him so much in you know, I'm

1012
00:44:40,094 --> 00:44:41,654
Speaker 2: so tired, Jim, Like I don't want to go to

1013
00:44:41,734 --> 00:44:43,214
Speaker 2: this session. He's like, come on, we've got this, Like

1014
00:44:43,294 --> 00:44:45,494
Speaker 2: we've got this, and he he was so strong for me,

1015
00:44:45,654 --> 00:44:48,374
Speaker 2: and then I was like, I didn't return the favor,

1016
00:44:49,294 --> 00:44:51,374
Speaker 2: so I'm indebted to him, but I also didn't show

1017
00:44:51,414 --> 00:44:52,774
Speaker 2: up for him when he showed up for me all

1018
00:44:52,854 --> 00:44:54,574
Speaker 2: the time, And what does that make of me?

1019
00:44:54,814 --> 00:44:56,734
Speaker 1: Like way, He's a lot to take on board for

1020
00:44:56,854 --> 00:44:57,374
Speaker 1: one person.

1021
00:44:57,574 --> 00:44:59,574
Speaker 2: It was so much, and I think that's what led to,

1022
00:45:00,054 --> 00:45:02,774
Speaker 2: you know, this complete emotional breakdown where I just lost

1023
00:45:02,774 --> 00:45:05,534
Speaker 2: all sense of self. You know, it felt like a

1024
00:45:05,614 --> 00:45:08,414
Speaker 2: complete out of body moment where I ended up back

1025
00:45:08,454 --> 00:45:10,254
Speaker 2: at rehab for a routine check up and I walked

1026
00:45:10,254 --> 00:45:13,174
Speaker 2: past his room and just lost it, like just sort

1027
00:45:13,174 --> 00:45:16,414
Speaker 2: of yeah, I was not oriented to time place. I

1028
00:45:16,614 --> 00:45:19,894
Speaker 2: just had all these flashbacks of him. And that was

1029
00:45:20,014 --> 00:45:22,174
Speaker 2: absolutely my rock bottom moment where I had to have

1030
00:45:22,374 --> 00:45:25,934
Speaker 2: intervention at rock bottom. There's the beauty of being at

1031
00:45:26,014 --> 00:45:28,014
Speaker 2: rock bottom? Is I think it was JK. Rowling said,

1032
00:45:28,054 --> 00:45:30,014
Speaker 2: at best, you can only go one way when you're

1033
00:45:30,014 --> 00:45:32,534
Speaker 2: at rock bottom. I genuinely couldn't have got any lower.

1034
00:45:33,174 --> 00:45:35,054
Speaker 2: And I guess I found a tiny slither of hope

1035
00:45:35,134 --> 00:45:37,374
Speaker 2: in that notion, and the only obvious step for me

1036
00:45:37,454 --> 00:45:39,494
Speaker 2: to take was to get to the Gold Coast, where

1037
00:45:39,534 --> 00:45:41,894
Speaker 2: we wanted to start our life together. And I spent

1038
00:45:41,974 --> 00:45:44,334
Speaker 2: some time with Jim's mum there for three weeks, just

1039
00:45:44,574 --> 00:45:46,854
Speaker 2: really doing a whole lot of soul searching and trying

1040
00:45:46,854 --> 00:45:50,814
Speaker 2: to figure out what on earth I could do, not

1041
00:45:50,934 --> 00:45:53,174
Speaker 2: necessarily to get myself back on track that was too

1042
00:45:53,214 --> 00:45:54,214
Speaker 2: far out of reach at that.

1043
00:45:54,294 --> 00:45:56,334
Speaker 1: Moment, but more so just searching for purpose.

1044
00:45:57,054 --> 00:45:58,974
Speaker 2: I think I was searching for breath, to be honest,

1045
00:45:59,214 --> 00:46:02,254
Speaker 2: like I was so broken that I just felt like

1046
00:46:02,534 --> 00:46:04,734
Speaker 2: the Gold Coast was where I needed to connect with

1047
00:46:04,854 --> 00:46:07,374
Speaker 2: him again, but also his mum. If I had to

1048
00:46:07,374 --> 00:46:10,334
Speaker 2: spend twelve months there, then so be it. Just take

1049
00:46:10,414 --> 00:46:12,614
Speaker 2: life slow and acknowledge that I had been through a

1050
00:46:12,654 --> 00:46:14,894
Speaker 2: lot and that I needed to be I guess in

1051
00:46:14,974 --> 00:46:17,054
Speaker 2: a little bit of control of what my next steps were,

1052
00:46:17,174 --> 00:46:20,054
Speaker 2: and it was a pretty daunting feeling. I sort of

1053
00:46:20,094 --> 00:46:22,574
Speaker 2: got there, and it was actually through gratitude that I

1054
00:46:22,654 --> 00:46:25,134
Speaker 2: really started to turn my life around. But not in

1055
00:46:25,214 --> 00:46:26,694
Speaker 2: a way that you would think where I'd read a

1056
00:46:26,734 --> 00:46:28,574
Speaker 2: book and someone said to write down three things I

1057
00:46:28,614 --> 00:46:30,054
Speaker 2: was grateful for. It wasn't like that at all. It

1058
00:46:30,134 --> 00:46:33,374
Speaker 2: was actually a very big accident mistake. I sat down

1059
00:46:33,414 --> 00:46:36,294
Speaker 2: at Wendy's house and there was a coffee table and

1060
00:46:36,414 --> 00:46:37,974
Speaker 2: on the coffee table was a piece of paper and

1061
00:46:38,014 --> 00:46:40,014
Speaker 2: a pen, and I don't know, it must have been

1062
00:46:40,014 --> 00:46:41,654
Speaker 2: there for a shopping list. I never really asked her,

1063
00:46:41,734 --> 00:46:44,214
Speaker 2: but you know, I was writing down little notes and stuff,

1064
00:46:44,254 --> 00:46:46,814
Speaker 2: and I just had this moment where I was like,

1065
00:46:46,894 --> 00:46:48,854
Speaker 2: because all these people were checking with me, my mom

1066
00:46:49,334 --> 00:46:51,614
Speaker 2: was so worried. Remember, She's like, can you just send

1067
00:46:51,654 --> 00:46:53,974
Speaker 2: me a message every day? And I didn't have words,

1068
00:46:54,014 --> 00:46:56,694
Speaker 2: so I used to send her a photo of the moon.

1069
00:46:57,454 --> 00:46:59,054
Speaker 2: She's like, as much as I was, like, you little shit,

1070
00:46:59,174 --> 00:47:00,414
Speaker 2: just give me something more than a moon.

1071
00:47:00,574 --> 00:47:02,014
Speaker 1: Well, so if you're taking pictures of the moon with

1072
00:47:02,054 --> 00:47:04,694
Speaker 1: your phone, they're notoriously terrible for shock and like.

1073
00:47:04,774 --> 00:47:08,414
Speaker 2: Blurry right shock. And yeah, she was like, but I

1074
00:47:08,494 --> 00:47:10,214
Speaker 2: was just so grateful to get these pictures because I

1075
00:47:10,294 --> 00:47:12,574
Speaker 2: knew that, you know, I don't think she was worried

1076
00:47:12,654 --> 00:47:15,054
Speaker 2: that I was at risk of harming myself, but more so,

1077
00:47:15,454 --> 00:47:17,414
Speaker 2: I just knew that if you were taking the moment

1078
00:47:17,574 --> 00:47:19,534
Speaker 2: to be able to do that and capture that, and

1079
00:47:19,534 --> 00:47:22,774
Speaker 2: then you're okay, and it's only now that I have

1080
00:47:22,854 --> 00:47:24,934
Speaker 2: conversations with my parents, and I'm like, could you imagine

1081
00:47:24,974 --> 00:47:26,534
Speaker 2: what it would be like to be my parents supporting

1082
00:47:26,614 --> 00:47:29,094
Speaker 2: me through all this? Like the poor things? And yeah,

1083
00:47:29,214 --> 00:47:30,854
Speaker 2: on the coffee tat was this piece of paper and

1084
00:47:30,894 --> 00:47:33,654
Speaker 2: a pen, and I just had this moment where all

1085
00:47:33,694 --> 00:47:36,174
Speaker 2: these people were really worried about me. And I hated

1086
00:47:36,174 --> 00:47:37,814
Speaker 2: the fact that I was worrying them and all that

1087
00:47:37,894 --> 00:47:39,814
Speaker 2: kind of stuff, but I was like, I'm actually quite

1088
00:47:39,934 --> 00:47:42,934
Speaker 2: lucky that people care because I haven't been the easiest

1089
00:47:43,014 --> 00:47:45,534
Speaker 2: person to deal with. So I was I just started

1090
00:47:45,534 --> 00:47:47,574
Speaker 2: writing down their names on this list of paper, and

1091
00:47:47,694 --> 00:47:49,254
Speaker 2: again I don't know why I did it, but as

1092
00:47:49,294 --> 00:47:51,214
Speaker 2: I sort of completed this list, it was a full

1093
00:47:51,254 --> 00:47:53,494
Speaker 2: sheet of paper with a name on each line. And

1094
00:47:53,614 --> 00:47:55,654
Speaker 2: I remember holding up this piece of paper in front

1095
00:47:55,654 --> 00:47:58,454
Speaker 2: of my face and I was like, wow, if nothing else,

1096
00:47:58,534 --> 00:48:01,694
Speaker 2: this is thirty reasons to keep going. And I was

1097
00:48:01,734 --> 00:48:04,454
Speaker 2: just like, wow, I'm very lucky. So then I picked

1098
00:48:04,534 --> 00:48:06,134
Speaker 2: up the phone, which is probably the most important thing

1099
00:48:06,174 --> 00:48:08,094
Speaker 2: that I did, and I actually called every person on

1100
00:48:08,134 --> 00:48:11,494
Speaker 2: the list just to say thanks, not to even say hey,

1101
00:48:11,534 --> 00:48:13,854
Speaker 2: stop worrying about me. It was just thanks. So the

1102
00:48:13,894 --> 00:48:16,254
Speaker 2: first was my doctor, and you must have seen my

1103
00:48:16,334 --> 00:48:18,374
Speaker 2: name flash up on the screen. And he picks up

1104
00:48:18,374 --> 00:48:20,934
Speaker 2: immediately goes, oh shit, what have you done when I've broken? Like,

1105
00:48:21,214 --> 00:48:21,774
Speaker 2: how do I help?

1106
00:48:22,254 --> 00:48:23,934
Speaker 1: Please tell me I don't have to fix something.

1107
00:48:23,774 --> 00:48:27,174
Speaker 2: Else exactly, and I just said, no, Doc, I'm not

1108
00:48:27,254 --> 00:48:29,534
Speaker 2: calling for that. I'm actually okay. I am in the

1109
00:48:29,574 --> 00:48:32,534
Speaker 2: Gold Coast. I just wanted to say thanks for helping me.

1110
00:48:33,694 --> 00:48:35,654
Speaker 2: And he was really shocked. He said, what do you mean.

1111
00:48:36,094 --> 00:48:37,774
Speaker 2: It's my job and I was like, yeah, I know,

1112
00:48:37,974 --> 00:48:40,174
Speaker 2: but look, I wouldn't have a leg without you. I

1113
00:48:40,414 --> 00:48:42,374
Speaker 2: probably wouldn't be here without you. I just wanted to

1114
00:48:42,414 --> 00:48:44,654
Speaker 2: say thanks. And he said, oh my god, cath Mate,

1115
00:48:44,654 --> 00:48:46,494
Speaker 2: it's a privilege. And before you go, let me tell

1116
00:48:46,494 --> 00:48:47,734
Speaker 2: you how proud I am of you and to be

1117
00:48:47,814 --> 00:48:50,614
Speaker 2: part of your life. And every person on that list

1118
00:48:50,694 --> 00:48:51,894
Speaker 2: had a very similar response.

1119
00:48:51,974 --> 00:48:54,014
Speaker 1: And how was your heart at the end of that list?

1120
00:48:54,054 --> 00:48:56,334
Speaker 1: It must be so full it would have exploded.

1121
00:48:56,734 --> 00:48:59,854
Speaker 2: It was like, because you know, my best friend's amazing,

1122
00:49:00,134 --> 00:49:03,374
Speaker 2: Like all of these people could have been forgiven, for gone.

1123
00:49:03,414 --> 00:49:06,014
Speaker 2: This is just too hard. Like that's the one thing

1124
00:49:06,054 --> 00:49:07,534
Speaker 2: about me that I think a lot of people need

1125
00:49:07,574 --> 00:49:10,494
Speaker 2: to understand is I've never been a like I've had

1126
00:49:10,614 --> 00:49:14,054
Speaker 2: so much support, like world class medical, psychological, but also

1127
00:49:14,294 --> 00:49:16,454
Speaker 2: my family and friends are just so generous with their

1128
00:49:16,534 --> 00:49:20,054
Speaker 2: time for me. So I'm not someone who has overcome

1129
00:49:20,134 --> 00:49:22,134
Speaker 2: these things because of me and me alone. It's because

1130
00:49:22,174 --> 00:49:24,854
Speaker 2: I've had so much support around me, and for anyone

1131
00:49:24,974 --> 00:49:28,174
Speaker 2: that is going through something that's vitally important ingredient to

1132
00:49:28,374 --> 00:49:31,214
Speaker 2: overcoming anything, I think we need support networks and they're

1133
00:49:31,254 --> 00:49:33,734
Speaker 2: there for a reason, and sometimes we need to learn

1134
00:49:33,774 --> 00:49:35,094
Speaker 2: the hard way to say I need a bit of

1135
00:49:35,174 --> 00:49:37,174
Speaker 2: help or accept the help that's in front of you.

1136
00:49:37,334 --> 00:49:39,934
Speaker 2: But for me, it's always been there. It's unwavering and

1137
00:49:40,574 --> 00:49:42,174
Speaker 2: I'm so lucky for that. But yeah, I guess that

1138
00:49:42,294 --> 00:49:45,374
Speaker 2: was gratitude in action, feeling it but then actually expressing it.

1139
00:49:45,494 --> 00:49:48,214
Speaker 2: And when I share these sort of things with people,

1140
00:49:48,814 --> 00:49:51,014
Speaker 2: the power of gratitude and things like that, often say,

1141
00:49:51,054 --> 00:49:52,894
Speaker 2: you know, think of your favorite person for a second

1142
00:49:53,094 --> 00:49:56,974
Speaker 2: family member, friend, spouse, whomever, and you're obviously in that

1143
00:49:57,054 --> 00:49:59,054
Speaker 2: person's life for a reason, you're connected and all that

1144
00:49:59,094 --> 00:50:01,174
Speaker 2: kind of stuff, but have you actually taken the two

1145
00:50:01,254 --> 00:50:03,574
Speaker 2: minutes to tell someone what they mean to you, like

1146
00:50:03,774 --> 00:50:05,294
Speaker 2: to pick up the phone or don't do it?

1147
00:50:05,414 --> 00:50:06,774
Speaker 1: Very often at all, do we? Nah?

1148
00:50:06,894 --> 00:50:09,454
Speaker 2: And I mean I'm lucky now. I sort of travel

1149
00:50:09,534 --> 00:50:11,694
Speaker 2: the world as a motivational speaker, and I will always say, like,

1150
00:50:11,774 --> 00:50:13,294
Speaker 2: if it was your favorite person, it was their birthday

1151
00:50:13,334 --> 00:50:14,494
Speaker 2: coming up, and you're like, I'll get them the gift

1152
00:50:14,494 --> 00:50:17,374
Speaker 2: they've always wanted. You go to the store, pick out

1153
00:50:17,414 --> 00:50:19,294
Speaker 2: the gift, pay for it, wrap it up, put the

1154
00:50:19,294 --> 00:50:23,374
Speaker 2: bow on it. Birthday's coming up, you ah thrown cup

1155
00:50:23,414 --> 00:50:24,974
Speaker 2: and never give it to them. It would be complete waste,

1156
00:50:25,014 --> 00:50:27,934
Speaker 2: wouldn't it. So I think the same goes for when

1157
00:50:27,974 --> 00:50:29,894
Speaker 2: we understand how much a person means to us, and

1158
00:50:29,974 --> 00:50:33,214
Speaker 2: when luckily I can pass this message onto people before

1159
00:50:33,294 --> 00:50:36,494
Speaker 2: adversity strikes. Even when was the last time you picked

1160
00:50:36,534 --> 00:50:38,574
Speaker 2: up the phone and told that person, hey, I just

1161
00:50:38,694 --> 00:50:40,534
Speaker 2: wanted to check in and say get a but also

1162
00:50:40,734 --> 00:50:42,974
Speaker 2: thanks because that time you did this for me, or

1163
00:50:43,054 --> 00:50:45,574
Speaker 2: even the time we just laughed uncontrollably for half an

1164
00:50:45,614 --> 00:50:48,294
Speaker 2: hour together. It meant so much to me and I

1165
00:50:48,414 --> 00:50:50,854
Speaker 2: love you so much and that's why. And I can

1166
00:50:50,894 --> 00:50:52,734
Speaker 2: guarantee you it's not only will it help you the

1167
00:50:52,774 --> 00:50:54,974
Speaker 2: next time you're facing adversity or stress or whatever, because

1168
00:50:55,014 --> 00:50:57,294
Speaker 2: you'll feel a bit more connected. It will honestly be

1169
00:50:57,374 --> 00:50:59,414
Speaker 2: the greatest gift you give yourself, but also that person

1170
00:50:59,494 --> 00:51:02,254
Speaker 2: in the process, Like imagine just experiencing that phone call. Hey,

1171
00:51:02,534 --> 00:51:05,054
Speaker 2: just thanks and for no other reason, that's why I'm

1172
00:51:05,094 --> 00:51:07,734
Speaker 2: calling you or checking in with you or whatever it

1173
00:51:07,814 --> 00:51:10,054
Speaker 2: is that you're doing. And I think that is an

1174
00:51:10,054 --> 00:51:11,654
Speaker 2: amazing thing that we can all do for each other.

1175
00:51:11,734 --> 00:51:14,614
Speaker 2: And for me calling those thirty people, it wasn't like

1176
00:51:14,654 --> 00:51:16,974
Speaker 2: I swallowed a magic pill where my life was amazing

1177
00:51:17,134 --> 00:51:23,214
Speaker 2: but the sun came out. Yeah, for mum probably it did. Yeah,

1178
00:51:23,414 --> 00:51:26,054
Speaker 2: but yeah, it wasn't like my whole life turned around.

1179
00:51:26,134 --> 00:51:27,574
Speaker 2: But as you said, my heart at the end of

1180
00:51:27,654 --> 00:51:30,174
Speaker 2: it was like, oh, I'm okay, Like I will be okay.

1181
00:51:30,774 --> 00:51:33,534
Speaker 2: I'm not thriving, but I know that my life will

1182
00:51:33,534 --> 00:51:35,494
Speaker 2: be okay because I have these people and I'm incredibly

1183
00:51:35,534 --> 00:51:37,814
Speaker 2: grateful for that. And that was the turning point for

1184
00:51:37,894 --> 00:51:39,254
Speaker 2: me to start to rebuild. For sure.

1185
00:51:39,894 --> 00:51:42,494
Speaker 1: So athlete you says, all right, what can I do

1186
00:51:42,614 --> 00:51:43,174
Speaker 1: with my body?

1187
00:51:43,294 --> 00:51:43,414
Speaker 2: Right?

1188
00:51:44,054 --> 00:51:47,214
Speaker 1: Cricket's no longer an option, And they've said, okay, considering

1189
00:51:47,334 --> 00:51:50,574
Speaker 1: what you've been doing to rehab yourself, maybe become a triathlete,

1190
00:51:50,814 --> 00:51:53,934
Speaker 1: which seems ridiculous to me, But okay, whatever, if you

1191
00:51:54,054 --> 00:51:55,974
Speaker 1: want to go do that with everything your body has

1192
00:51:56,014 --> 00:51:58,934
Speaker 1: gone through, that is absolutely up to you. And so

1193
00:51:59,054 --> 00:52:01,774
Speaker 1: you do that in your training and you've done some

1194
00:52:01,934 --> 00:52:03,894
Speaker 1: of it, and you've done it quite successfully, so you're

1195
00:52:03,894 --> 00:52:06,494
Speaker 1: going on to do more. And then, like you're going

1196
00:52:06,534 --> 00:52:09,254
Speaker 1: for a training ride, you get hit by a drunk driver.

1197
00:52:10,094 --> 00:52:11,654
Speaker 1: I guess the only part of your spine that stays

1198
00:52:11,654 --> 00:52:14,934
Speaker 1: together is now the titanium fused terminator part of your spine,

1199
00:52:15,894 --> 00:52:19,214
Speaker 1: but it breaks a whole bunch of other parts. And

1200
00:52:19,334 --> 00:52:22,894
Speaker 1: now you're kind of back where you started. How on

1201
00:52:23,454 --> 00:52:26,814
Speaker 1: earth do you pick yourself up again after that?

1202
00:52:27,534 --> 00:52:29,814
Speaker 2: Yeah? I actually remember my surgeon when I had that

1203
00:52:30,054 --> 00:52:32,734
Speaker 2: titanium stuff put in my back, and he said to me,

1204
00:52:32,814 --> 00:52:35,374
Speaker 2: as a joke, don't worry, this will outlive you because

1205
00:52:35,414 --> 00:52:38,014
Speaker 2: they last one hundred years in your twenty odd. But

1206
00:52:38,174 --> 00:52:39,854
Speaker 2: also if you got hit by a truck, the only

1207
00:52:39,894 --> 00:52:41,694
Speaker 2: thing left standing would be this part of what I know.

1208
00:52:43,014 --> 00:52:45,214
Speaker 2: And I remember picking up the phone, like when I

1209
00:52:45,334 --> 00:52:49,414
Speaker 2: was jovial enough to go, oh, hey, Doc, don't suppose

1210
00:52:49,454 --> 00:52:51,254
Speaker 2: you can come to Sydney, And he's like, what's going on?

1211
00:52:51,374 --> 00:52:53,654
Speaker 2: I said, remember how you made that joke. He's like,

1212
00:52:53,734 --> 00:52:55,214
Speaker 2: don't you dare? And I was like, nah, I did.

1213
00:52:55,254 --> 00:52:56,974
Speaker 2: I got hit by fullward drive and it's just like,

1214
00:52:57,094 --> 00:53:00,414
Speaker 2: oh so yeah, training for an iron man it was.

1215
00:53:00,534 --> 00:53:03,974
Speaker 2: I went with my best mate, routine training ride kind

1216
00:53:04,014 --> 00:53:05,654
Speaker 2: of thing, nothing in the grand scheme of it, and

1217
00:53:05,934 --> 00:53:07,694
Speaker 2: just felt the fat on my body and yeah, got

1218
00:53:07,694 --> 00:53:10,414
Speaker 2: cleaned up by a drunk driver from behind, and my

1219
00:53:10,534 --> 00:53:13,654
Speaker 2: back broke in four places. I shuttered my left hip,

1220
00:53:13,734 --> 00:53:17,054
Speaker 2: broke my right wrists, okay, my neck and woke up

1221
00:53:17,094 --> 00:53:19,534
Speaker 2: to the news I was paralyzed and told her I

1222
00:53:19,534 --> 00:53:21,374
Speaker 2: wouldn't walk in in for the second time in my life.

1223
00:53:21,494 --> 00:53:23,814
Speaker 1: So if you just like honestly, you're just like honestly

1224
00:53:24,334 --> 00:53:28,454
Speaker 1: really like, is someone punking me? Like? Because who gets

1225
00:53:28,534 --> 00:53:30,654
Speaker 1: told that once in their life, let alone as many

1226
00:53:30,734 --> 00:53:32,094
Speaker 1: times as you've been told.

1227
00:53:32,134 --> 00:53:35,654
Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly again. I think you get It's so interesting

1228
00:53:35,654 --> 00:53:38,094
Speaker 2: because I don't know any different you get one life, right,

1229
00:53:38,174 --> 00:53:40,774
Speaker 2: I don't know what experiences you've had and how you've

1230
00:53:40,854 --> 00:53:43,814
Speaker 2: concept you like. Adversity is so relative in that some

1231
00:53:43,974 --> 00:53:47,334
Speaker 2: of my bigger life hurdles haven't impacted me anywhere near

1232
00:53:47,334 --> 00:53:49,414
Speaker 2: as much as some of my perceived smaller ones and

1233
00:53:49,454 --> 00:53:51,134
Speaker 2: things like that. So I guess it depends where you're

1234
00:53:51,134 --> 00:53:54,494
Speaker 2: at at any given moment, but it was bloody hard

1235
00:53:54,654 --> 00:53:57,054
Speaker 2: like that happens. You get this news and then I'm

1236
00:53:57,094 --> 00:53:59,734
Speaker 2: like in this hospital bed and I remember, actually.

1237
00:54:00,254 --> 00:54:01,854
Speaker 1: How well do you know hospital ceilings?

1238
00:54:02,534 --> 00:54:04,334
Speaker 2: Very well? Yeah, I've stared at a lot of them

1239
00:54:04,414 --> 00:54:07,374
Speaker 2: in my time. Some are better than others. But remember

1240
00:54:07,974 --> 00:54:10,814
Speaker 2: lying in this hospital bed. And by this point I think, like,

1241
00:54:11,374 --> 00:54:14,254
Speaker 2: I don't know, some news outlet had shared the first

1242
00:54:14,294 --> 00:54:15,974
Speaker 2: part of my story, and then it was literally four

1243
00:54:16,054 --> 00:54:18,294
Speaker 2: days later I get cleaned up, but this car and

1244
00:54:18,414 --> 00:54:21,134
Speaker 2: so it was public. So all these people and well

1245
00:54:21,174 --> 00:54:23,014
Speaker 2: wishes are connecting with me and all that kind of stuff.

1246
00:54:23,014 --> 00:54:25,854
Speaker 1: And so at this stage, you've started the kindness factory, right,

1247
00:54:25,894 --> 00:54:27,814
Speaker 1: which is like a social media kind of push to

1248
00:54:28,094 --> 00:54:31,414
Speaker 1: encourage people to do acts of kindness. So this is

1249
00:54:31,574 --> 00:54:33,414
Speaker 1: just starting to kind of gain momentum when this.

1250
00:54:33,494 --> 00:54:36,014
Speaker 2: Happens, right, It just started and it got quite catchy.

1251
00:54:36,094 --> 00:54:37,774
Speaker 2: I wasn't showing it on socials, but like you know,

1252
00:54:37,814 --> 00:54:40,374
Speaker 2: I bought a woman's petrol one day and she just said,

1253
00:54:40,414 --> 00:54:42,014
Speaker 2: can I have a selfie? Said of course, So we

1254
00:54:42,174 --> 00:54:43,654
Speaker 2: both got in a photo she shared it, and it

1255
00:54:43,694 --> 00:54:45,574
Speaker 2: started to gain a lot of traction, and I was like,

1256
00:54:45,774 --> 00:54:48,454
Speaker 2: this is me. I'm given out kindness because I've received

1257
00:54:48,454 --> 00:54:49,854
Speaker 2: a lot, and that's sort of like a pay it

1258
00:54:49,934 --> 00:54:52,214
Speaker 2: forward kind of page. And there was nothing really more

1259
00:54:52,294 --> 00:54:54,134
Speaker 2: to it than that was just I wanted to give

1260
00:54:54,174 --> 00:54:55,534
Speaker 2: back a little bit. So yeah, it was born on

1261
00:54:55,574 --> 00:54:57,094
Speaker 2: that promise. And then I get cleaned up by this

1262
00:54:57,214 --> 00:55:00,174
Speaker 2: junk driver line in this hospital bed, and it's then

1263
00:55:00,254 --> 00:55:02,414
Speaker 2: that you know, I guess everyone recognizes that I can't

1264
00:55:02,454 --> 00:55:04,934
Speaker 2: do the things that I tried to pursue in kindness

1265
00:55:05,014 --> 00:55:07,854
Speaker 2: and so forth and so but I remember everyone sort

1266
00:55:07,854 --> 00:55:10,094
Speaker 2: of sending me cards and flowers, and like it was

1267
00:55:10,494 --> 00:55:12,494
Speaker 2: quite overwhelming. There was a lot of stuff going on

1268
00:55:12,574 --> 00:55:14,934
Speaker 2: in my ward, and I felt quite bad because it

1269
00:55:15,014 --> 00:55:16,494
Speaker 2: was like three other people in my ward at this

1270
00:55:16,574 --> 00:55:18,934
Speaker 2: point and they're not getting anywhere near as much love

1271
00:55:19,014 --> 00:55:21,134
Speaker 2: and all that kind of something like sharing the flowers around.

1272
00:55:21,774 --> 00:55:23,574
Speaker 2: But I remember they must have must have been in

1273
00:55:23,654 --> 00:55:26,734
Speaker 2: the hospital gift shop or news agency downstairs, because I

1274
00:55:26,774 --> 00:55:28,934
Speaker 2: had twenty cards stacked up on my thing, and four

1275
00:55:28,974 --> 00:55:31,974
Speaker 2: of them were exactly the same and it read something like,

1276
00:55:32,014 --> 00:55:34,374
Speaker 2: which just gave me the shits. And hopefully these people

1277
00:55:34,414 --> 00:55:36,494
Speaker 2: aren't listening. But it read something like, you know, God

1278
00:55:36,574 --> 00:55:38,814
Speaker 2: gives his I'm not really just by any stretch, but

1279
00:55:38,894 --> 00:55:41,294
Speaker 2: it did read something like God gives his toughest battles

1280
00:55:41,334 --> 00:55:42,294
Speaker 2: to his strongest soldiers.

1281
00:55:42,334 --> 00:55:43,374
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I've had that before.

1282
00:55:43,414 --> 00:55:47,174
Speaker 2: I was like like no, I was like, don't you

1283
00:55:47,294 --> 00:55:50,174
Speaker 2: dare say that to me, because the battles I've had already,

1284
00:55:50,374 --> 00:55:53,534
Speaker 2: Like this is ridiculous. So I'm not perfect, trust me.

1285
00:55:53,614 --> 00:55:56,814
Speaker 2: I'm not like even though I drove the physios crazy

1286
00:55:56,854 --> 00:55:59,814
Speaker 2: because you know, again, like I'd rebuilt all this strength

1287
00:55:59,894 --> 00:56:02,294
Speaker 2: in my body to be a triathlete, and then you know,

1288
00:56:02,454 --> 00:56:04,854
Speaker 2: we're doing leg raises in a bed where she's lifting

1289
00:56:04,894 --> 00:56:06,254
Speaker 2: my leg up and I'm like, come on, I'm a

1290
00:56:06,294 --> 00:56:08,254
Speaker 2: bit beyond this, Like I know that I'm back at

1291
00:56:08,294 --> 00:56:11,014
Speaker 2: square one, but come on. And she had to follow

1292
00:56:11,054 --> 00:56:13,574
Speaker 2: you know, risk process and ohms and stuff like that,

1293
00:56:13,774 --> 00:56:15,334
Speaker 2: so I was a bit of a nightmare. So I

1294
00:56:15,414 --> 00:56:17,254
Speaker 2: was like, you know, six weeks on the wards onto

1295
00:56:17,374 --> 00:56:19,974
Speaker 2: rehab for six months to teach myself how to walk

1296
00:56:20,014 --> 00:56:23,094
Speaker 2: again when everyone told me it was impossible, and again

1297
00:56:23,174 --> 00:56:25,694
Speaker 2: met some amazing characters in rehab, but I would be

1298
00:56:25,774 --> 00:56:28,574
Speaker 2: lying if I said that rehab was easy, it was

1299
00:56:28,854 --> 00:56:33,134
Speaker 2: tremendously difficult. Not necessarily physically, Yeah, it was physically, but

1300
00:56:33,414 --> 00:56:36,814
Speaker 2: it was more the emotion and the trauma that I

1301
00:56:36,894 --> 00:56:39,974
Speaker 2: still had from GYM and my first experience there as well.

1302
00:56:40,174 --> 00:56:42,494
Speaker 2: So again I just felt so alone. While I had

1303
00:56:42,534 --> 00:56:45,934
Speaker 2: all this support, friend's family, people visiting me, everyone contacting

1304
00:56:46,014 --> 00:56:48,774
Speaker 2: me from you know, strangers about the kindness and stuff

1305
00:56:48,854 --> 00:56:51,814
Speaker 2: like that, but I just felt really alone because, you know,

1306
00:56:51,854 --> 00:56:53,814
Speaker 2: the first time I had GM and he was able

1307
00:56:53,854 --> 00:56:56,934
Speaker 2: to propel me into doing what we were doing, and then,

1308
00:56:57,174 --> 00:57:00,254
Speaker 2: you know, I didn't have that camaraderie and love and

1309
00:57:00,334 --> 00:57:04,214
Speaker 2: makeshift in that environment again. So it felt so isolating

1310
00:57:04,294 --> 00:57:06,094
Speaker 2: to be doing that again. And a lot of people

1311
00:57:06,334 --> 00:57:08,774
Speaker 2: assumed that it would be easy for me the second

1312
00:57:08,814 --> 00:57:11,454
Speaker 2: time because I old had it this now right, Yes,

1313
00:57:11,574 --> 00:57:13,614
Speaker 2: everyone would say you've done it once before, you can

1314
00:57:13,654 --> 00:57:14,054
Speaker 2: do it again.

1315
00:57:14,174 --> 00:57:16,454
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, it's so easy to teach yourself to walk.

1316
00:57:16,734 --> 00:57:18,574
Speaker 2: Yeah. I was like, yeah, guys, I have done it

1317
00:57:18,654 --> 00:57:21,654
Speaker 2: once before. It was bloody hard like, and so when

1318
00:57:21,694 --> 00:57:23,654
Speaker 2: you do it the first time, you're flailing in the dark.

1319
00:57:23,734 --> 00:57:25,614
Speaker 2: You're like, oh, whatever they're telling me I do or

1320
00:57:25,614 --> 00:57:27,654
Speaker 2: I do and at the end of it, your go geez,

1321
00:57:27,734 --> 00:57:29,694
Speaker 2: that was hard, but I'm so glad I got through it.

1322
00:57:29,774 --> 00:57:31,894
Speaker 2: And the second time you're like, shit, I remember this point.

1323
00:57:31,974 --> 00:57:33,854
Speaker 2: It's so tricky. I don't know if I've got it

1324
00:57:33,854 --> 00:57:36,534
Speaker 2: in me to do it again today. But yeah, I

1325
00:57:36,574 --> 00:57:39,494
Speaker 2: guess thankfully it got through it, and not without its challenges.

1326
00:57:39,574 --> 00:57:42,294
Speaker 2: I was probably way more emotionally in tune with myself

1327
00:57:42,374 --> 00:57:44,374
Speaker 2: and had a lot more self awareness. And I guess

1328
00:57:44,454 --> 00:57:47,094
Speaker 2: the good thing, what the one silver lining of enduring

1329
00:57:47,214 --> 00:57:49,934
Speaker 2: and as much adversity as I have, is you start

1330
00:57:49,974 --> 00:57:52,254
Speaker 2: to understand yourself and what works for you, and you

1331
00:57:52,294 --> 00:57:54,414
Speaker 2: get that self awareness and acceptance of yourself to be

1332
00:57:54,494 --> 00:57:57,214
Speaker 2: able to then tackle into other things and what's helpful

1333
00:57:57,254 --> 00:57:59,414
Speaker 2: for others might not be for you, and and vice versa.

1334
00:57:59,534 --> 00:58:02,014
Speaker 2: And so I had that understanding of myself a bit

1335
00:58:02,094 --> 00:58:03,934
Speaker 2: more so. I guess I was in some ways able

1336
00:58:03,974 --> 00:58:05,814
Speaker 2: to fast track my recovery. It was a six month

1337
00:58:05,894 --> 00:58:08,214
Speaker 2: rehab process rather than a twelve month one.

1338
00:58:08,134 --> 00:58:10,894
Speaker 1: And learning to walk in half the time.

1339
00:58:12,894 --> 00:58:16,494
Speaker 2: Five stars, five stars. Yeah, I got the try hard badge.

1340
00:58:17,894 --> 00:58:21,094
Speaker 1: So you've got all these messages coming through six months later.

1341
00:58:21,174 --> 00:58:23,774
Speaker 1: You know, the kindness factors kind of gaining some momentum.

1342
00:58:24,334 --> 00:58:26,574
Speaker 1: You know, you've got a website, it's all up and going.

1343
00:58:26,774 --> 00:58:29,694
Speaker 1: And then I feel for your long suffering mother at

1344
00:58:29,734 --> 00:58:32,654
Speaker 1: this point, because not only did you not do ballet

1345
00:58:32,814 --> 00:58:35,014
Speaker 1: and break your back and go through some lots of awful,

1346
00:58:35,174 --> 00:58:38,454
Speaker 1: terrible things twice, you then decide to embark on a

1347
00:58:38,494 --> 00:58:41,054
Speaker 1: two month adventure where you rely on nothing but the

1348
00:58:41,174 --> 00:58:43,494
Speaker 1: kindness of strangers. And by that I mean like you

1349
00:58:43,614 --> 00:58:45,934
Speaker 1: went out into the world and got picked up by

1350
00:58:46,014 --> 00:58:47,894
Speaker 1: strange people that had only just like sent you a

1351
00:58:47,974 --> 00:58:50,654
Speaker 1: message or an email, who then would take you somewhere else,

1352
00:58:50,694 --> 00:58:53,734
Speaker 1: and you would spend nights at strange people's houses. But

1353
00:58:53,854 --> 00:58:57,854
Speaker 1: what did you learn out there with strangers? So what

1354
00:58:58,014 --> 00:58:59,894
Speaker 1: happened was I ended up back in court to face

1355
00:58:59,934 --> 00:59:01,734
Speaker 1: a man that hit me with this car in court.

1356
00:59:02,374 --> 00:59:04,294
Speaker 1: I've never been in trouble really in a big way

1357
00:59:04,374 --> 00:59:05,574
Speaker 1: like that that would land in court.

1358
00:59:05,854 --> 00:59:08,134
Speaker 2: My dad was a police officer for forty years, so

1359
00:59:08,534 --> 00:59:11,054
Speaker 2: he was there in support. And anyway, we had this

1360
00:59:11,134 --> 00:59:13,814
Speaker 2: moment where the man gets handed all these charges and

1361
00:59:14,054 --> 00:59:16,494
Speaker 2: things like that, and I sat down in court and

1362
00:59:16,654 --> 00:59:18,814
Speaker 2: he all sorts of starts to end and he just

1363
00:59:18,854 --> 00:59:21,214
Speaker 2: breaks down in tears in the court room, and I

1364
00:59:21,294 --> 00:59:22,814
Speaker 2: just felt for the guy because I was like, I

1365
00:59:22,934 --> 00:59:25,454
Speaker 2: know that he's put me in this position and it's

1366
00:59:25,494 --> 00:59:27,814
Speaker 2: been hard, but he didn't intentionally try and hurt me.

1367
00:59:27,854 --> 00:59:29,894
Speaker 2: He made a big error. I make mistakes every day,

1368
00:59:29,974 --> 00:59:32,054
Speaker 2: thankfully mine don't go on to change the course of

1369
00:59:32,094 --> 00:59:35,134
Speaker 2: someone's day. So I just went over to him, very gingerly,

1370
00:59:35,174 --> 00:59:37,494
Speaker 2: my body was still pretty banged up, and put my

1371
00:59:37,574 --> 00:59:38,934
Speaker 2: hand on his shoulder and I said, maybe you are

1372
00:59:38,934 --> 00:59:40,934
Speaker 2: you okay? And he looked up and he said no,

1373
00:59:40,974 --> 00:59:43,774
Speaker 2: I'm not. And I said, okay, I'm sorry. And I

1374
00:59:43,774 --> 00:59:44,414
Speaker 2: don't know why I.

1375
00:59:44,534 --> 00:59:46,654
Speaker 1: Just thought so he said sorry to the man who

1376
00:59:46,774 --> 00:59:49,174
Speaker 1: hit you with his It was.

1377
00:59:49,214 --> 00:59:50,774
Speaker 2: Just very in the moment, like there's a lot of

1378
00:59:50,854 --> 00:59:53,014
Speaker 2: motion going on. He lost his license, all that kind

1379
00:59:53,014 --> 00:59:54,854
Speaker 2: of stuff, and my dad's there and he knows me

1380
00:59:55,054 --> 00:59:56,974
Speaker 2: very well when I made it. My dad's probably the

1381
00:59:57,054 --> 01:00:00,294
Speaker 2: toughest amount ive ever met. Pretty funny guy too. He's

1382
01:00:00,294 --> 01:00:02,054
Speaker 2: seen some stuff in the cops for forty years, and

1383
01:00:02,294 --> 01:00:03,694
Speaker 2: I could think he could he knew what I was

1384
01:00:03,734 --> 01:00:05,254
Speaker 2: going to say next, and he's like I could see

1385
01:00:05,334 --> 01:00:07,174
Speaker 2: him shaking his head, going, you little shit, don't you

1386
01:00:07,294 --> 01:00:09,054
Speaker 2: do this, And I just looked at him and I said, look,

1387
01:00:09,054 --> 01:00:10,694
Speaker 2: how are getting today? So I don't know. I can't

1388
01:00:10,694 --> 01:00:12,854
Speaker 2: afford a taxi and obviously I've lost my license. And

1389
01:00:13,614 --> 01:00:14,974
Speaker 2: I said, well, we'll give you a lift. And he

1390
01:00:15,054 --> 01:00:16,214
Speaker 2: looked at me and he said, I don't think that's

1391
01:00:16,214 --> 01:00:18,774
Speaker 2: a very good idea. And Dad goes, Cath, that's definitely

1392
01:00:18,854 --> 01:00:21,974
Speaker 2: not a very good idea. But we did right. It

1393
01:00:22,054 --> 01:00:23,574
Speaker 2: was a fifteen minute journey. He could have heard a

1394
01:00:23,614 --> 01:00:26,374
Speaker 2: pin drop this guy, and everyone said sorry, he's in

1395
01:00:26,414 --> 01:00:28,174
Speaker 2: the front. Dad's driving on in the back. He gets

1396
01:00:28,214 --> 01:00:30,094
Speaker 2: out and I thought he was going to say sorry, oh,

1397
01:00:30,094 --> 01:00:31,414
Speaker 2: thanks for the ride or something, and he didn't. He

1398
01:00:31,494 --> 01:00:32,814
Speaker 2: just looked at me in the back seat and he said,

1399
01:00:32,814 --> 01:00:34,854
Speaker 2: why did you just do that? And I said, before

1400
01:00:34,854 --> 01:00:37,574
Speaker 2: I could even think, because I don't want your actions

1401
01:00:37,614 --> 01:00:39,134
Speaker 2: to control the person that I am. I would have

1402
01:00:39,134 --> 01:00:40,854
Speaker 2: done that for any other person on the planet. And

1403
01:00:40,974 --> 01:00:42,774
Speaker 2: so a lot of people think it's about forgiveness. I

1404
01:00:42,814 --> 01:00:44,014
Speaker 2: don't think it was. I think it was just me

1405
01:00:44,134 --> 01:00:46,374
Speaker 2: wanting to act in accordance with who I am, and

1406
01:00:46,534 --> 01:00:49,174
Speaker 2: I didn't want that experience to change me. But then

1407
01:00:49,214 --> 01:00:50,494
Speaker 2: I got in the front seat and I'm having a

1408
01:00:50,534 --> 01:00:53,254
Speaker 2: conversation with Dad and engines running and he just sat

1409
01:00:53,334 --> 01:00:54,854
Speaker 2: there and I was like, what's he doing? Like you

1410
01:00:54,854 --> 01:00:57,294
Speaker 2: should probably drive off because we just sat here. And

1411
01:00:58,094 --> 01:00:59,974
Speaker 2: I looked to my dad and he just had these

1412
01:01:00,054 --> 01:01:02,134
Speaker 2: tears running down his face. And as I said, he's

1413
01:01:02,134 --> 01:01:03,774
Speaker 2: the toughest me. He's seen some stuff. He was at

1414
01:01:03,814 --> 01:01:05,534
Speaker 2: King's Cross for the last ten years of his career,

1415
01:01:05,654 --> 01:01:08,734
Speaker 2: like really high up in the force. And I said, Dad,

1416
01:01:08,774 --> 01:01:12,134
Speaker 2: what's wrong? And he just said, Mate, before I go on,

1417
01:01:12,494 --> 01:01:13,974
Speaker 2: I need you to know Mum and I were so

1418
01:01:14,134 --> 01:01:17,254
Speaker 2: proud of you, but Kath it's so hard being your parents.

1419
01:01:17,334 --> 01:01:19,614
Speaker 2: And I said, yeah, no, Dad, and he said, I

1420
01:01:19,694 --> 01:01:21,254
Speaker 2: need you to explain to me why we've just done that,

1421
01:01:21,334 --> 01:01:23,574
Speaker 2: because I literally have had to watch you crawl through life,

1422
01:01:23,774 --> 01:01:26,374
Speaker 2: like I literally watched you crawl through life on top

1423
01:01:26,414 --> 01:01:28,454
Speaker 2: of everything else, and that men's responsible for that, and

1424
01:01:28,454 --> 01:01:30,294
Speaker 2: I've just given him a lift out of the goodness

1425
01:01:30,334 --> 01:01:33,014
Speaker 2: of your heart, not mine. I said, I know, Dad,

1426
01:01:33,094 --> 01:01:34,694
Speaker 2: And he said, I'm a bit worried about this kind

1427
01:01:34,774 --> 01:01:36,374
Speaker 2: of stuff. Mate, I don't think it's a good path

1428
01:01:36,414 --> 01:01:38,534
Speaker 2: for you. And I said, oh, Dad, I said, actually,

1429
01:01:38,534 --> 01:01:40,174
Speaker 2: at a young age, you gave me a quote that

1430
01:01:40,254 --> 01:01:41,974
Speaker 2: I used to hang above my bed. Do you remember it?

1431
01:01:41,974 --> 01:01:44,334
Speaker 2: He said, it's still in your bedroom. Do you remember

1432
01:01:44,374 --> 01:01:44,694
Speaker 2: what it read?

1433
01:01:44,774 --> 01:01:44,934
Speaker 1: Dad?

1434
01:01:44,974 --> 01:01:46,374
Speaker 2: And he said no? And I said it reads the

1435
01:01:46,414 --> 01:01:48,494
Speaker 2: world is changed by your example, not by your opinion.

1436
01:01:49,054 --> 01:01:50,654
Speaker 2: And for me, that just myn action. I said, do

1437
01:01:50,694 --> 01:01:52,014
Speaker 2: you know why you gave that to me? And I

1438
01:01:52,054 --> 01:01:55,094
Speaker 2: actually didn't know the answer to this, and he goes, Cath,

1439
01:01:55,174 --> 01:01:56,574
Speaker 2: I hate to break, do you? He made I'm pretty

1440
01:01:56,574 --> 01:01:57,574
Speaker 2: sure I got it for free at work.

1441
01:02:02,814 --> 01:02:08,574
Speaker 1: Well, anyway, the intention wasn't there, Yeah, exactly.

1442
01:02:08,694 --> 01:02:11,214
Speaker 2: So I was like, well, thanks Dad, it's just ruined

1443
01:02:11,254 --> 01:02:13,694
Speaker 2: my own entire life learnings. But I said, well, Dad,

1444
01:02:13,734 --> 01:02:16,374
Speaker 2: that resonated with me. And I'm so sick of turning

1445
01:02:16,454 --> 01:02:18,934
Speaker 2: on the news or going on the social media and

1446
01:02:19,014 --> 01:02:22,574
Speaker 2: we see hate, call it domestic violence, gun violence, war terrorism,

1447
01:02:22,774 --> 01:02:25,174
Speaker 2: bullying in schools like it just makes no sense, and

1448
01:02:25,414 --> 01:02:28,094
Speaker 2: as human beings, we often tend to respond to hate

1449
01:02:28,134 --> 01:02:30,534
Speaker 2: with hate. And it's not a world that I'm proud

1450
01:02:30,574 --> 01:02:32,094
Speaker 2: to be a part of. And with that quote in

1451
01:02:32,174 --> 01:02:34,694
Speaker 2: mind and just wanting to be me, I guess I

1452
01:02:34,734 --> 01:02:36,694
Speaker 2: started to slide down and feel a bit low again.

1453
01:02:36,734 --> 01:02:38,814
Speaker 2: I was like, am I in this battle of trying

1454
01:02:38,854 --> 01:02:40,894
Speaker 2: to prove the goodness of the world to people who

1455
01:02:40,974 --> 01:02:42,734
Speaker 2: just don't want to hear a message that I'm sharing.

1456
01:02:42,894 --> 01:02:46,094
Speaker 2: But I genuinely believed in it. And Dad dropped me off.

1457
01:02:46,174 --> 01:02:48,574
Speaker 2: And I remember speaking to Carla, my friend, to go

1458
01:02:48,614 --> 01:02:50,694
Speaker 2: I've got this really out there idea, and she's like

1459
01:02:50,854 --> 01:02:52,574
Speaker 2: the hype girl that you need to call when you

1460
01:02:52,654 --> 01:02:53,174
Speaker 2: want to Yes.

1461
01:02:53,134 --> 01:02:54,094
Speaker 1: Well, she's your enabler.

1462
01:02:54,134 --> 01:02:56,254
Speaker 2: She did my enable us. She's like, yes, do it,

1463
01:02:56,294 --> 01:02:58,574
Speaker 2: whereas anyone else when I posted it, like ah, what

1464
01:02:58,734 --> 01:03:01,534
Speaker 2: are you doing? So I hadn't shared it with anyone

1465
01:03:01,574 --> 01:03:04,334
Speaker 2: but her press post or whatever. And then my parents

1466
01:03:04,534 --> 01:03:07,654
Speaker 2: just start calling and like get it down. I'm like, Mum,

1467
01:03:07,774 --> 01:03:09,774
Speaker 2: like thousands of people have seen. I can't get it down.

1468
01:03:09,814 --> 01:03:11,974
Speaker 2: She's like, you are not doing this, and I was like, Mum,

1469
01:03:12,054 --> 01:03:14,894
Speaker 2: it's all good. Like it's so publicized now that I'll

1470
01:03:14,934 --> 01:03:17,414
Speaker 2: be safe. Dad didn't have any social media and that's

1471
01:03:17,414 --> 01:03:19,574
Speaker 2: how you're sort of tracking the journey. So I created

1472
01:03:19,614 --> 01:03:22,654
Speaker 2: a Facebook page for him, Instagram, all that kind of squol.

1473
01:03:22,734 --> 01:03:23,814
Speaker 1: Did you have to teach him how to use it?

1474
01:03:23,934 --> 01:03:26,174
Speaker 2: Yeah, because that's awful. Well, and now like I see

1475
01:03:26,174 --> 01:03:27,534
Speaker 2: the stuff that he does on it. I'm like like that,

1476
01:03:27,574 --> 01:03:30,654
Speaker 2: I know me delete it like I created a monst it. Yeah, literally,

1477
01:03:30,774 --> 01:03:33,214
Speaker 2: but he attached a GPS tracker. But in the end

1478
01:03:33,254 --> 01:03:34,934
Speaker 2: they came around and they were like, okay, mate, we're

1479
01:03:34,974 --> 01:03:36,934
Speaker 2: really proud of you, but can you just be safe,

1480
01:03:37,014 --> 01:03:38,374
Speaker 2: like can you check? Because I had the phone to

1481
01:03:38,454 --> 01:03:41,294
Speaker 2: document everything and I was blogging every day. I'm not

1482
01:03:41,374 --> 01:03:44,734
Speaker 2: a technically gifted writer. Probably have started to come into

1483
01:03:44,854 --> 01:03:46,614
Speaker 2: storytelling a bit more and stuff like that, but I

1484
01:03:46,614 --> 01:03:49,574
Speaker 2: remember on the first night thinking this is going to

1485
01:03:49,574 --> 01:03:51,774
Speaker 2: be life changing. I want to remember these feelings that

1486
01:03:51,814 --> 01:03:53,574
Speaker 2: I'm having. So I started to document just like a

1487
01:03:53,614 --> 01:03:56,534
Speaker 2: couple of pages each day, and that actually helps with

1488
01:03:56,614 --> 01:03:58,654
Speaker 2: the writing process. You know, I've written a book about

1489
01:03:58,654 --> 01:04:00,574
Speaker 2: it all now. But yeah. The characters were the Veras,

1490
01:04:00,654 --> 01:04:05,254
Speaker 2: so they yeah, Chilean family, three of them. So Claudia,

1491
01:04:05,374 --> 01:04:07,734
Speaker 2: her sisters Denise, and and the father Sergio had heard

1492
01:04:07,734 --> 01:04:09,054
Speaker 2: what I was doing and they didn't connect with the

1493
01:04:09,134 --> 01:04:10,494
Speaker 2: other one, but they all three so.

1494
01:04:10,494 --> 01:04:12,094
Speaker 1: They individually had contacted you.

1495
01:04:12,374 --> 01:04:14,534
Speaker 2: Okay, we don't have much to give you a roof

1496
01:04:14,614 --> 01:04:16,014
Speaker 2: of your head, but why don't you come We can

1497
01:04:16,054 --> 01:04:18,174
Speaker 2: give you love and I was like, of course mean,

1498
01:04:18,814 --> 01:04:21,494
Speaker 2: so I went there and just learning their story and

1499
01:04:21,734 --> 01:04:23,974
Speaker 2: that was very early on in the journey. It's in Sydney. Obviously,

1500
01:04:24,054 --> 01:04:26,814
Speaker 2: I ended up to every state in Australia. I traveled too,

1501
01:04:26,854 --> 01:04:29,254
Speaker 2: and there were so many stories out there like that,

1502
01:04:29,534 --> 01:04:32,454
Speaker 2: with so much heartache and beauty. And every single person

1503
01:04:32,534 --> 01:04:34,934
Speaker 2: that helped me and connected with me, not only were

1504
01:04:34,934 --> 01:04:37,134
Speaker 2: they helping me in a physical way by feeding me

1505
01:04:37,294 --> 01:04:38,614
Speaker 2: or getting me from A to B and all that

1506
01:04:38,694 --> 01:04:41,454
Speaker 2: kind of stuff, but they're also sharing with me the

1507
01:04:41,494 --> 01:04:45,014
Speaker 2: gift of perspective. And I recognized, I guess a similarity

1508
01:04:45,094 --> 01:04:46,974
Speaker 2: and that when sometimes you're in duea, you want to

1509
01:04:47,014 --> 01:04:48,694
Speaker 2: share that with people to help them and to get

1510
01:04:48,734 --> 01:04:51,094
Speaker 2: them through certain aspects and elements of their life and

1511
01:04:51,174 --> 01:04:54,374
Speaker 2: things like that. And I lasted two months and met

1512
01:04:54,614 --> 01:04:56,774
Speaker 2: the most incredible people that taught me about you know,

1513
01:04:56,854 --> 01:04:58,614
Speaker 2: the twelve themes of the book and all those sorts

1514
01:04:58,614 --> 01:05:01,654
Speaker 2: of things as well, but literally every single person was

1515
01:05:01,774 --> 01:05:05,294
Speaker 2: just profoundly impactful on me. I spent a lot of

1516
01:05:05,334 --> 01:05:08,734
Speaker 2: time up in Darwin and Northern Territory and connected with

1517
01:05:08,854 --> 01:05:12,054
Speaker 2: her and he did sort of elder who took me

1518
01:05:12,134 --> 01:05:14,774
Speaker 2: to a women's shelter for example. And the idea of

1519
01:05:14,854 --> 01:05:17,054
Speaker 2: compassion has always been big in my life, but she

1520
01:05:17,294 --> 01:05:19,974
Speaker 2: showed me that in action. And I think for compassion,

1521
01:05:20,494 --> 01:05:22,814
Speaker 2: it's one thing to empathize and feel empathy for someone,

1522
01:05:22,934 --> 01:05:25,414
Speaker 2: but for compassion to be as beautiful as it can be,

1523
01:05:25,894 --> 01:05:28,694
Speaker 2: it's actually putting things into action to relieve the suffering

1524
01:05:28,734 --> 01:05:30,774
Speaker 2: that you're seeing in front of you. And in the

1525
01:05:30,814 --> 01:05:33,174
Speaker 2: most profound way possible. She showed me that in the

1526
01:05:33,214 --> 01:05:36,174
Speaker 2: most selfless way possible. So and I learned about culture.

1527
01:05:36,414 --> 01:05:39,094
Speaker 2: Like I'm so privileged in that I've already mentioned the

1528
01:05:39,134 --> 01:05:41,694
Speaker 2: amount of support I've had, but on like Caucasian and

1529
01:05:41,974 --> 01:05:44,574
Speaker 2: I've been brought into this world with We went wealthy

1530
01:05:44,654 --> 01:05:47,734
Speaker 2: by any stretch. It was four kids, single income, policeman's wage,

1531
01:05:47,734 --> 01:05:49,614
Speaker 2: all that kind of stuff. But my family never made

1532
01:05:49,614 --> 01:05:51,374
Speaker 2: me feel like I missed out on anything. I had

1533
01:05:51,454 --> 01:05:54,414
Speaker 2: so much love around me. My grandparents, brothers are amazing,

1534
01:05:54,454 --> 01:05:55,774
Speaker 2: all that kind of stuff. But there are so many

1535
01:05:55,814 --> 01:05:58,254
Speaker 2: people that don't have that in life. And like, I'm

1536
01:05:58,294 --> 01:06:01,054
Speaker 2: a homeless man gave me twenty dollars on one day

1537
01:06:01,214 --> 01:06:03,734
Speaker 2: and he had nothing. He died in that moment. But

1538
01:06:04,614 --> 01:06:06,614
Speaker 2: I couldn't refuse, like I was trying to refuse it

1539
01:06:06,654 --> 01:06:08,454
Speaker 2: and he would not let me leave without because I

1540
01:06:08,454 --> 01:06:10,094
Speaker 2: was sharing. What I was doing is I I'm a

1541
01:06:10,174 --> 01:06:12,294
Speaker 2: season vet at this, You're not you need this? And

1542
01:06:13,494 --> 01:06:14,894
Speaker 2: as if that happened, do you know what I mean?

1543
01:06:15,054 --> 01:06:17,734
Speaker 2: Like and then yeah, and that's how I ended up

1544
01:06:17,734 --> 01:06:19,814
Speaker 2: getting into speaking as well. Like I was sharing my

1545
01:06:19,934 --> 01:06:22,494
Speaker 2: story with schools and you know, the fire Brigade and

1546
01:06:22,614 --> 01:06:24,574
Speaker 2: all these people were sort of flying me to places

1547
01:06:25,214 --> 01:06:27,374
Speaker 2: just to share in the stories that I was learning

1548
01:06:27,414 --> 01:06:27,894
Speaker 2: along the way.

1549
01:06:27,974 --> 01:06:30,054
Speaker 1: And sometimes you fly to these places without really knowing

1550
01:06:30,134 --> 01:06:32,574
Speaker 1: what you're doing, don't you. Yeah, I remember this, this

1551
01:06:32,734 --> 01:06:34,374
Speaker 1: is you in the moment they're like, cath you need

1552
01:06:34,414 --> 01:06:35,694
Speaker 1: to be on this plane at this time and go

1553
01:06:35,774 --> 01:06:37,534
Speaker 1: to this place, and you're like cool, And then you

1554
01:06:37,614 --> 01:06:39,814
Speaker 1: get there and then at one stage you're sharing a

1555
01:06:39,854 --> 01:06:43,974
Speaker 1: stage with Michelle Obama and then like there's other moments

1556
01:06:43,974 --> 01:06:45,614
Speaker 1: where you're one on one with some of the most

1557
01:06:45,894 --> 01:06:50,134
Speaker 1: like high flying CEOs in the world, Like are you

1558
01:06:50,254 --> 01:06:52,414
Speaker 1: just looking at your life now, just going what the heck?

1559
01:06:52,774 --> 01:06:54,734
Speaker 2: How did I get here? Yeah? I mean I think

1560
01:06:54,774 --> 01:06:56,574
Speaker 2: I just like have a groundedness about me and that

1561
01:06:56,934 --> 01:06:59,254
Speaker 2: I don't care if it's it's you, it's Michelle Obama,

1562
01:06:59,294 --> 01:07:01,334
Speaker 2: if it's a cleaner in this office, you all deserve.

1563
01:07:01,494 --> 01:07:03,494
Speaker 2: The time and energy that you're giving me is something

1564
01:07:03,534 --> 01:07:06,214
Speaker 2: that you should get back. And I think I've learned

1565
01:07:06,254 --> 01:07:08,414
Speaker 2: more off people on the street than I have Michelle

1566
01:07:08,454 --> 01:07:12,054
Speaker 2: Obama or a he's an athlete or an executive at

1567
01:07:12,054 --> 01:07:15,094
Speaker 2: a high flying office. So you can learn things off

1568
01:07:15,134 --> 01:07:17,334
Speaker 2: people from all walks of life if you haven't a

1569
01:07:17,454 --> 01:07:19,654
Speaker 2: mind that's open enough to receiving that kind of stuff.

1570
01:07:19,694 --> 01:07:22,454
Speaker 2: And that journey genuinely taught me that I fed the homeless.

1571
01:07:22,494 --> 01:07:24,454
Speaker 2: I was fed by the homeless. I traveled by boat,

1572
01:07:24,534 --> 01:07:28,494
Speaker 2: trained plane, stayed in five star accommodation in tents like

1573
01:07:28,814 --> 01:07:31,974
Speaker 2: celebrities got involved, but so did just your average dose

1574
01:07:32,054 --> 01:07:34,894
Speaker 2: and things like that, and I come back two kilos heavier.

1575
01:07:36,334 --> 01:07:37,454
Speaker 1: This wasn't supposed to happen.

1576
01:07:37,654 --> 01:07:40,774
Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly. So I remember weighing myself going because everyone

1577
01:07:41,094 --> 01:07:44,174
Speaker 2: like to give you love and warmth is like eat.

1578
01:07:44,374 --> 01:07:46,014
Speaker 2: You're like, yeah, of course I'll eat, like and you

1579
01:07:46,054 --> 01:07:47,614
Speaker 2: don't want to say no and all that kind of stuff.

1580
01:07:47,654 --> 01:07:50,134
Speaker 2: But there are so many stories within that story that

1581
01:07:50,414 --> 01:07:53,334
Speaker 2: really showcase the power of kindness. But also human spirit,

1582
01:07:53,454 --> 01:07:56,134
Speaker 2: and of course what we've already mentioned the importance of

1583
01:07:56,214 --> 01:07:59,054
Speaker 2: human connection. We were born to connect. There's no one's

1584
01:07:59,054 --> 01:08:01,694
Speaker 2: supposed to do it alone. And we even mentioned I

1585
01:08:01,814 --> 01:08:04,214
Speaker 2: was so stubborn and independent that I couldn't even ask

1586
01:08:04,254 --> 01:08:06,174
Speaker 2: my flatmate for help when my leg's about to fall off.

1587
01:08:06,254 --> 01:08:08,534
Speaker 2: Yet here I am having to literally live off that

1588
01:08:08,694 --> 01:08:11,894
Speaker 2: notion of except help, because I genuinely wouldn't have survived

1589
01:08:11,934 --> 01:08:15,054
Speaker 2: if I didn't. So it was a bold experiment, but

1590
01:08:15,294 --> 01:08:17,094
Speaker 2: I always knew that it would work, and I think

1591
01:08:17,134 --> 01:08:19,134
Speaker 2: I sort of felt a little bit in trouble in

1592
01:08:19,214 --> 01:08:21,374
Speaker 2: Melbourne on the cold streets. One night when I had

1593
01:08:21,454 --> 01:08:24,534
Speaker 2: twenty dollars to my name, I was walking fair distance

1594
01:08:24,614 --> 01:08:27,294
Speaker 2: to a hotel that someone had got for me, and

1595
01:08:27,374 --> 01:08:28,774
Speaker 2: it started to rain, so I was like, I got

1596
01:08:28,814 --> 01:08:31,414
Speaker 2: twenty bucks, So I take the taxi and stay warm

1597
01:08:31,454 --> 01:08:33,374
Speaker 2: and dry and get to the hotel. Or do I

1598
01:08:34,014 --> 01:08:35,854
Speaker 2: get wet, get drenched from the rain, get to the

1599
01:08:35,894 --> 01:08:37,854
Speaker 2: hotel and try and get a warm meal with the

1600
01:08:37,934 --> 01:08:41,214
Speaker 2: twenty dollars that I've got. And I ended up. You know, fate,

1601
01:08:41,334 --> 01:08:43,894
Speaker 2: I felt took over so taxi with its light on

1602
01:08:44,054 --> 01:08:45,814
Speaker 2: drive past. I hailed it down. I said, I'll get

1603
01:08:45,854 --> 01:08:48,694
Speaker 2: twenty dollars worth of a fare to this hotel, and

1604
01:08:48,734 --> 01:08:50,534
Speaker 2: he's like, that's interesting. I was like, I've just got

1605
01:08:50,534 --> 01:08:52,294
Speaker 2: twenty bucks. Like it's a long story, and I was

1606
01:08:52,374 --> 01:08:53,974
Speaker 2: quite exhausted by the day that i'd had, so I

1607
01:08:54,014 --> 01:08:55,494
Speaker 2: didn't really want to go into it too much. And

1608
01:08:55,654 --> 01:08:58,854
Speaker 2: he's like, hang on, you're that woman doing that kindness thing.

1609
01:08:58,894 --> 01:09:00,454
Speaker 2: And I was like, oh, yeah, yeah, no, that's me

1610
01:09:00,534 --> 01:09:02,094
Speaker 2: and he's like Kate and I'm like, no, it's Cath

1611
01:09:02,174 --> 01:09:04,094
Speaker 2: and he's just like, oh, I'm Matt. And so anyway,

1612
01:09:04,094 --> 01:09:06,414
Speaker 2: we got in this conversation. It's like, oh, there's no

1613
01:09:06,534 --> 01:09:07,934
Speaker 2: way I could do what you're doing. And it's like,

1614
01:09:08,014 --> 01:09:10,014
Speaker 2: tell me the best things that have happened. We're chatting,

1615
01:09:10,054 --> 01:09:11,374
Speaker 2: and I just saw it like edge up toward was

1616
01:09:11,414 --> 01:09:13,574
Speaker 2: like eighteen dollars, and I was about to go like, mate,

1617
01:09:13,574 --> 01:09:14,934
Speaker 2: we're gonna have to cut this short because I need

1618
01:09:14,974 --> 01:09:16,894
Speaker 2: to jump out, literally, and I have twenty dollars. And

1619
01:09:17,494 --> 01:09:20,454
Speaker 2: because I do your deal like if you post a

1620
01:09:20,494 --> 01:09:22,214
Speaker 2: selfie of as, because I was like documenting it on

1621
01:09:22,294 --> 01:09:24,414
Speaker 2: social media and it gets more than twenty likes in

1622
01:09:24,894 --> 01:09:27,094
Speaker 2: in half an hour or something like that I'll give

1623
01:09:27,094 --> 01:09:28,774
Speaker 2: you a free ride. I was like, oh, mate, we're

1624
01:09:28,774 --> 01:09:30,214
Speaker 2: going to break that in like a minute. Because I

1625
01:09:30,254 --> 01:09:32,294
Speaker 2: had like a big following at this point, like everyone

1626
01:09:32,374 --> 01:09:34,294
Speaker 2: was so like it was like they were watching updates

1627
01:09:34,414 --> 01:09:36,374
Speaker 2: like while they're at work and who I was meeting next,

1628
01:09:36,494 --> 01:09:38,854
Speaker 2: and so I said, all right, deal, so took the

1629
01:09:38,894 --> 01:09:41,094
Speaker 2: photo like within a minute as like twenty likes. I'm like, well,

1630
01:09:41,134 --> 01:09:43,414
Speaker 2: I guess you lose out, and because I'm actually winning

1631
01:09:43,454 --> 01:09:46,094
Speaker 2: here because he was loving the conversation. So that was

1632
01:09:46,134 --> 01:09:48,334
Speaker 2: probably the only time I felt like, oh, I'm gonna

1633
01:09:48,414 --> 01:09:50,574
Speaker 2: be cold tonight or I'm not sure if I'll get

1634
01:09:50,574 --> 01:09:53,094
Speaker 2: there or whatever happens. But yeah, again, the journey just

1635
01:09:53,094 --> 01:09:54,614
Speaker 2: showed up. But people showed up for me in the

1636
01:09:54,654 --> 01:09:57,374
Speaker 2: most incredible of ways, and I never felt really unsafe,

1637
01:09:57,414 --> 01:09:59,254
Speaker 2: apart from that tiny moment where I was like I

1638
01:09:59,374 --> 01:10:01,094
Speaker 2: might just be cold for a night, but that was it.

1639
01:10:01,334 --> 01:10:05,614
Speaker 1: Yeah, Well, I love that this journey of kindness continues.

1640
01:10:06,014 --> 01:10:08,534
Speaker 1: And how many millions of acts of kindness have we

1641
01:10:08,614 --> 01:10:09,494
Speaker 1: got on the website now?

1642
01:10:09,774 --> 01:10:14,574
Speaker 2: Yeah, we clicked over five million. Yeah the starting yeah.

1643
01:10:14,574 --> 01:10:18,334
Speaker 1: And climbing, which is amazing. So make sure it's kindness

1644
01:10:18,374 --> 01:10:20,934
Speaker 1: factory dot com. Go and check it out. Do a

1645
01:10:21,094 --> 01:10:24,974
Speaker 1: random act of kindness and continue on your crazy, incredible,

1646
01:10:25,214 --> 01:10:30,934
Speaker 1: ridiculous story. And just like, please don't like, just don't

1647
01:10:31,014 --> 01:10:35,654
Speaker 1: break anything anymore. There's chords in here. Please be very careful,

1648
01:10:36,254 --> 01:10:39,854
Speaker 1: do not fall on anything. Stay in one piece. Thank

1649
01:10:39,894 --> 01:10:42,214
Speaker 1: you very much for sharing your story with us today.

1650
01:10:42,214 --> 01:10:44,094
Speaker 1: We really appreciate you coming in and sharing your time

1651
01:10:44,174 --> 01:10:46,054
Speaker 1: and your kindness. Thank you our pleasure.

1652
01:10:46,054 --> 01:10:47,694
Speaker 2: I was lovely to meet you as well as wonderful.

1653
01:10:48,934 --> 01:10:51,694
Speaker 1: Wow, I think sums it up. Thank you to my

1654
01:10:51,934 --> 01:10:55,294
Speaker 1: incredible guest, Kath Cusual. Look. If that doesn't put a

1655
01:10:55,334 --> 01:10:58,054
Speaker 1: few struggles into perspective for you, I don't.

1656
01:10:57,854 --> 01:10:58,414
Speaker 2: Know what will.

1657
01:10:58,774 --> 01:11:01,814
Speaker 1: These days. Kath is working on her amazing initiative, the

1658
01:11:01,974 --> 01:11:04,974
Speaker 1: Kindness Factory. It's a not for profit and it teaches

1659
01:11:05,054 --> 01:11:08,054
Speaker 1: people about the impact of their actions on others and

1660
01:11:08,214 --> 01:11:10,974
Speaker 1: encourages them to share their acts of kindness, and so

1661
01:11:11,134 --> 01:11:14,774
Speaker 1: far they've been over five million logged in counting. You

1662
01:11:14,854 --> 01:11:17,534
Speaker 1: can also buy Kat's book, It's called Kindness. It's out

1663
01:11:17,654 --> 01:11:19,454
Speaker 1: right now, and we'll prop a link to that too

1664
01:11:19,654 --> 01:11:22,414
Speaker 1: in our show notes. It is a very good, albeit

1665
01:11:22,694 --> 01:11:27,374
Speaker 1: sometimes headshaking read the producer of No Filter is Emmeline Peterson.

1666
01:11:27,494 --> 01:11:30,734
Speaker 1: Our executive producer is Eliza Ratliffe, with sound production by

1667
01:11:30,814 --> 01:11:35,854
Speaker 1: Madeline Joanno. And I'm Claire Murphy. Thanks for spending some

1668
01:11:35,974 --> 01:11:38,774
Speaker 1: time with kath kosherl and I today. She is quite

1669
01:11:38,894 --> 01:11:41,014
Speaker 1: the woman And if you want to find out more

1670
01:11:41,014 --> 01:11:42,974
Speaker 1: about the Kindness Project, you can find a link to

1671
01:11:43,014 --> 01:11:45,334
Speaker 1: the website in our show notes. And while you're there,

1672
01:11:45,694 --> 01:11:47,814
Speaker 1: you'll also find the link to follow No Filter and

1673
01:11:47,934 --> 01:11:51,174
Speaker 1: hear more incredible stories from host Mia Friedman and her

1674
01:11:51,334 --> 01:11:54,654
Speaker 1: amazing lineup of guests. The Quickie is back tomorrow morning

1675
01:11:54,694 --> 01:11:56,254
Speaker 1: from six am with a look into how we can

1676
01:11:56,334 --> 01:11:59,414
Speaker 1: prepare for our cozy lives impacted Christmas this year because

1677
01:11:59,774 --> 01:12:02,254
Speaker 1: and I am so sorry if I'm about to shock you,

1678
01:12:02,494 --> 01:12:06,414
Speaker 1: but tomorrow it is exactly one month to Christmas.

1679
01:12:06,734 --> 01:12:07,374
Speaker 2: We'll catch you there.