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Speaker 1: This episode of CZ the A is brought to you

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Speaker 1: by Mitsubishi.

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Speaker 2: You know, you can be eating all the kale salads

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Speaker 2: and drinking all the green smoothies, but if you've got

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Speaker 2: a really loud inner critic, or what I call you,

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Speaker 2: in a Mean Girl, you need to work on your

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Speaker 2: mindset as well. And I really encourage everyone in all

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Speaker 2: of my books in my podcast to delete the word

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Speaker 2: perfect and perfection from your vocabulary because it just is

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Speaker 2: ammo for your in a Mean Girl to compare you

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Speaker 2: to everybody else.

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Speaker 1: Welcome to the Sees the YA Podcast. Busy and happy

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Speaker 1: are not the same thing. We too rarely question what

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Speaker 1: makes the heart seeing. We work, then we rest, but

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Speaker 1: rarely we play and often don't realize there's more than

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Speaker 1: one way. So this is a platform to hear and

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Speaker 1: explore the stories of those who found lives. They adore

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Speaker 1: the good, bad and ugly. The best and worst day

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Speaker 1: will bear all the facets of seizing your yay. I'm

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Speaker 1: Sarah Davidson or a spoonful of Sarah, a lawyer turned funtraper.

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Speaker 1: I know who swapped the suits and heels to co

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Speaker 1: found matcha Maiden and matcha Milk Bar. Cca is a

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Speaker 1: series of conversations on finding a life you love and

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Speaker 1: exploring the self doubt, challenge, joy and fulfillment along the way. Hello,

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Speaker 1: lovely yighborhood. I hope you're having a wonderful week and

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Speaker 1: that you enjoyed our first co hosted EA's of our

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Speaker 1: Lives episode, bringing some friendly banter tier ears so it's

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Speaker 1: not just me waxing lyrical alone every week. I'm very

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Speaker 1: glad to hear that many of you seem to love

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Speaker 1: Abby and Jemma just as much as I do. We

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Speaker 1: had so much fun. Please do let me know if

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Speaker 1: you have any other thoughts or feelings about our new segment,

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Speaker 1: as I really wanted to keep developing as a Yiahborhood production,

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Speaker 1: so if you did like the fast pace of a

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Speaker 1: co hosted episode, I can definitely keep doing that. Just

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Speaker 1: flick me a message anytime and I'll make sure I'm

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Speaker 1: always taking your feedback on board. For our regular segment,

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Speaker 1: I'm thrilled to be joined by my dear friend Melissa

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Speaker 1: Amber to celebrate the launch of her fourth and very

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Speaker 1: much needed book, Comparisonitis. This week. In a time where

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Speaker 1: the minute details of everyone else's lives are more visible,

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Speaker 1: than ever, which we've spoken about many times on this podcast.

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Speaker 1: Comparisonitis is a must have guide to arming yourself against

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Speaker 1: the dangers of continual social comparison and self doubt, which

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Speaker 1: you all know I have suffered from many times and

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Speaker 1: continue too often, and I'm sure many of you can

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Speaker 1: identify with that as well. Melissa is one of the

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Speaker 1: absolute og leaders in self development and well being, growing

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Speaker 1: from a blogspot newbie over a decade ago to now

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Speaker 1: multiple best selling author, podcaster with over sixteen million downloads,

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Speaker 1: ted X speaker and very very soon to be new Mamma.

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Speaker 1: It's quite lovely now that enough time has passed since

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Speaker 1: my move out of corporate law to have been able

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Speaker 1: to experience multiple chapters and stages in the lives of

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Speaker 1: people I've been lucky enough to connect with since the

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Speaker 1: early days, and I actually interviewed Melissa for her very

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Speaker 1: first book before either of us had podcasts. It was

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Speaker 1: just hosted on YouTube randomly, just as mel was at

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Speaker 1: my very first speaking gig. Ever, Meil has taught me

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Speaker 1: so much over the years, particularly around self awareness, boundaries,

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Speaker 1: and continual growth, and she shares so many of those

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Speaker 1: lessons today. We chat about everything from her fascinating earlier

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Speaker 1: days as a dancer at the Moulin Rouge in Paris,

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Speaker 1: to the weirdest health hacks we've tried getting pregnant and

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Speaker 1: trusting the process. I hope you guys enjoy Mel. Welcome

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Speaker 1: to the show.

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Speaker 2: Yay, babe. I'm so excited to be here with you.

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Speaker 2: What an honor.

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Speaker 1: Oh, it's my honor to have you and to have

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Speaker 1: your wonderful neighborly leaf blower who's providing some beautiful ambiance

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Speaker 1: broud chat in the background.

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Speaker 2: I'm so sorry, don't be silly.

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Speaker 1: I feel like the last year of working and podcasting

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Speaker 1: from home, it's just been a symphony of home uncontrollable

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Speaker 1: domestic set.

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Speaker 2: I know, I just never know when they're going to

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Speaker 2: do the leaf blowing, and it's just so unpredictable. But

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Speaker 2: it's all good. That's life.

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Speaker 1: Hey, I'm actually really surprised at how many people blow

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Speaker 1: their leaves so regularly.

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Speaker 2: I know, right.

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Speaker 1: Well before we kick off, as you know, I start

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Speaker 1: by asking each guest what the most down to earth

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Speaker 1: thing is about them to break the ice. And you're

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Speaker 1: known for being very open about the behind the scenes

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Speaker 1: of your life and Korea, but for anyone who hasn't

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Speaker 1: read your books, or who might have seen you at

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Speaker 1: a sparkly speaking gig or a book launch, you know,

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Speaker 1: it could be easy to forget that things aren't always

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Speaker 1: as glossy as they seem on the surface. So what

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Speaker 1: would you say, is something really relatable about you?

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Speaker 2: I mean, the first thing that just came to mind

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Speaker 2: is I am currently pregnant, and no one told me

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Speaker 2: the amount of times you have to get up to

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Speaker 2: pee in the middle of the night, Like, no one

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Speaker 2: told me this. And also I'm wearing a belly band

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Speaker 2: right now that is for secral iliac lower back pain.

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Speaker 2: It's very sexy, Like Nick is like, wow, that's beautiful,

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Speaker 2: that's really hot, really into it, really into the belly band.

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Speaker 1: I feel like that's pregnancy though, right like your boobs grow.

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Speaker 1: We're both like itty bitty titty humidity members and we've

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Speaker 1: bondered over that in the past. I just saw your

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Speaker 1: boobs and I was like, what is happening? But you

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Speaker 1: get the glorious boobs and then all the rest of

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Speaker 1: your body's just doing all the weird things. It's like,

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Speaker 1: this is mean, Just give me only the boobs.

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Speaker 2: It's so wild. The body is amazing though, like truly magical.

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Speaker 2: It's just such a miracle, and watching it transform has

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Speaker 2: been so beautiful.

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Speaker 1: I can't even imagine how exciting.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's very exciting.

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Speaker 1: I also love how the very first page in the

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Speaker 1: intro of Comparis, your brand new book, starts with I

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Speaker 1: was sitting on the toilet. It's like, oh, well, you know,

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Speaker 1: if you've got to ever break down the barriers, that's

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Speaker 1: the way to do it, exactly exactly, So the first

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Speaker 1: section is your way to ya. And because you're such

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Speaker 1: a prolific writer and podcaster and speaker, people can find

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Speaker 1: this story in many other places. And I want to

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Speaker 1: concentrate mostly on your brand new book today, but I

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Speaker 1: do think it's important to give the neighborhood a little

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Speaker 1: bit of context for how you ended up here in

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Speaker 1: case some of them don't know you. So give us

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Speaker 1: the crash course, take us back to young mel and,

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Speaker 1: you know, talk us through what you were like as

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Speaker 1: a kid, and then your time at Mulon Rouge, your health, crash,

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Speaker 1: and the many other stepping stones that it's taken you

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Speaker 1: to get here today that don't get as much airtime

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Speaker 1: as the highlights.

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Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, because we could be here for a days

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Speaker 2: just sharing this story. But I'll give you. I'll give

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Speaker 2: you the nutshell version. So I like you started dancing

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Speaker 2: really young. I think I was three when Mum put

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Speaker 2: me into dance class, and I loved it so much,

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Speaker 2: like I loved performing. I was that kid that would

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Speaker 2: get the neighbors together. And we had a roller garage

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Speaker 2: door where I lived, and I would like put on

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Speaker 2: shows for my whole neighborhood, and I'd set all the

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Speaker 2: neighbors outside and then we would be inside, and then

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Speaker 2: the show would start with like the garage door going up.

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Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, stop.

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Speaker 2: Grand entrance, the grand and we'd be like in pose,

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Speaker 2: like in position. That was such a beautiful part of

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Speaker 2: my childhood. We did that a lot, made my poor

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Speaker 2: neighbors and parents and aunts and uncles sit through these

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Speaker 2: torturous concerts in my garage. And then later on in life,

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Speaker 2: I started doing acting and singing and TV presenting, and

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Speaker 2: I did a little bit of modeling and was working

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Speaker 2: professionally from the age of like fifteen. So whilst I

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Speaker 2: was in high school, I was booking these big acting

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Speaker 2: jobs and TV jobs and dancing gigs and I absolutely

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Speaker 2: loved it, loved it so much. And then after school

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Speaker 2: I applied for a Bachelor of Business and got in

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Speaker 2: majoring in marketing. And there was something inside me that

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Speaker 2: was like, this isn't for you, this isn't for you.

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Speaker 2: Like go and go and follow your dream of being

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Speaker 2: a performer. So I went and studied performing arts for

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Speaker 2: a year and acting, and then went to the Mulan

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Speaker 2: Rouge in Paris and lived in Paris and danced there

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Speaker 2: for a year, which I just loved, and then moved

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Speaker 2: to London for two years and I worked there as

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Speaker 2: a dancer and actress and TV presenter and absolutely loved it.

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Speaker 2: Had a ball. I was living the dream, traveling the world,

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Speaker 2: making great money partying. You get treated like a celebrity

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Speaker 2: over there because you're a big dancer or whatever, and

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Speaker 2: you get invited to all these clubs and these openings

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Speaker 2: and living the dream. And then my v expired and

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Speaker 2: I had to move back to Australia and I was

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Speaker 2: absolutely devastated, like I really didn't want to go. I

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Speaker 2: felt it was really premature. I wasn't ready to leave.

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Speaker 2: And as you know, as an entertainer, the industry in

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Speaker 2: Australia is just not as big as London or New

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Speaker 2: York or LA And so I knew that I was

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Speaker 2: kind of closing the door on that chapter of my life.

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Speaker 2: So I came back. I was very depressed. I had

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Speaker 2: to leave a boy that I was seeing back in England.

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Speaker 2: He kind of broke up with me. I was like,

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Speaker 2: let's do long distance, it'll be easy.

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Speaker 1: Ali was so close.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, He's like no, no, And I was like devastated.

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Speaker 2: And so I didn't have a job. I was starting

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Speaker 2: from scratch. I was sleeping on a friend's single fold

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Speaker 2: out hospital bed in her lounde room. So it was

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Speaker 2: so classy. I had no job, no friends, no boyfriend.

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Speaker 2: I was doing nannying, just like cash nannying jobs and

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Speaker 2: admin just to make a couple of hundred dollars a week,

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Speaker 2: like two hundred dollars a week, just so I could

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Speaker 2: buy some food and put petrol in my car and

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Speaker 2: things like that. And it was a really dark time

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Speaker 2: in my life. I was spiraling into depression. I started

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Speaker 2: experiencing anxiety and panic attacks and had an eating disorder

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Speaker 2: and it was just like a snowball effect of toxic, unhealthy,

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Speaker 2: very very unhealthy behaviors and habits, and I started partying

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Speaker 2: a lot just to numb the pain, and it ended

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Speaker 2: up taking me hitting rock bottom for me to kind

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Speaker 2: of change course and to reevaluate my life. And I

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Speaker 2: ended up in hospital with a whole host of physical

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Speaker 2: health is shoes and also mental health issues. And it

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Speaker 2: was there in hospital that I had a huge realization

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Speaker 2: that I was responsible for getting myself there, and I

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Speaker 2: was the only person that could get myself out. And

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Speaker 2: a little voice inside me said, which I didn't know

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Speaker 2: at the time was my intuition because I didn't I

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Speaker 2: wouldn't have known what my intuition was back then, but

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Speaker 2: at the time said to me, get healthy and happy again,

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Speaker 2: and you'll live a life beyond your wildest dreams. And

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Speaker 2: I was like, I don't know how to get healthy

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Speaker 2: and happy, but I just made a commitment to myself

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Speaker 2: to do it. I was like, I'm going to do

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Speaker 2: whatever it takes to get healthy and happy. Don't know

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Speaker 2: how to do it, I'm just going to do it, though,

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Speaker 2: I'm just going to put one foot in front of

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Speaker 2: the other. And I made that my mission. Also when

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Speaker 2: I was in hospital, I had some new friends that

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Speaker 2: I just recently met at this thing called yoga. I'd

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Speaker 2: never tried it before, and so woo woo. I'd recently

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Speaker 2: met these friends, like maybe a month before i'd hit

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Speaker 2: rock bottom, and they sent me a care package and

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Speaker 2: in that care package they sent this to the hospital.

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Speaker 2: And in that care package was a book that changed

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Speaker 2: my life, and that was Louise Hayes, You Can Heal

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Speaker 2: Your Life. And I remember reading this book and turning

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Speaker 2: to my mom and saying, why haven't you told me this? Like,

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Speaker 2: why haven't you told me that we create our own

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Speaker 2: reality and that everything that we've manifested in our life

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Speaker 2: is our manifestation. And I was just so gobsmacked. And

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Speaker 2: my mum, you know, turned to him and said, oh, darling,

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Speaker 2: you know, we're doing the best that we could. And

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Speaker 2: absolutely they were. And ah, but I was like all

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Speaker 2: these light bulbs were just going off in my mind.

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Speaker 2: Oh my goodness, Like I'm responsible for getting myself here.

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Speaker 2: I've created this, like and some people see that as

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Speaker 2: an opportunity to spiral darker into the darkness, where I

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Speaker 2: saw it as inspiration and I thought, wow, okay, I

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Speaker 2: created this. How funny? Let me create something better? And

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Speaker 2: so I went on a mission to get happy and

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Speaker 2: healthy again. That was like my motto, happy and healthy.

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Speaker 2: Happy and healthy had no idea where to really start,

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Speaker 2: but I just kept putting one foot in front of

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Speaker 2: the other. And when I got out of hospital, I

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Speaker 2: knew that the lowest hanging fruit for me was to

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Speaker 2: sort out my health first, because if you don't have

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Speaker 2: your health, you can't do the things that you want

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Speaker 2: to do in the world. So I went on and

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Speaker 2: studied holistic nutrition and got healthy, and then realized that

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Speaker 2: you know, you can be eating all the kale salads

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Speaker 2: and drinking all the green smoothies, but if you've got

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Speaker 2: a really loud inn a critic or what I call

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Speaker 2: you're in a mean girl telling you that you're not

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Speaker 2: good enough and you're not smart enough, and who do

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Speaker 2: you think you are, then there's no point in like

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Speaker 2: even bothering to nourish yourself. You need to work on

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Speaker 2: your mindset as well. And so I studied meditation teacher training,

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Speaker 2: I did my life coaching certificate, I did my yoga

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Speaker 2: teacher training, I studied acu energetics, which is energy healing work,

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Speaker 2: and I literally dove headfirst into all things personal development.

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Speaker 2: And spirituality became obsessed. I went every seminar, every workshop,

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Speaker 2: read every book, and because I started to feel happy

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Speaker 2: and healthy for the first time in my life. And

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Speaker 2: I'd grown up with so many health issues, like I

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Speaker 2: was that kid, I was the kid with exzema. I

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Speaker 2: was the kid that was always on antibiotics. So for

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Speaker 2: me to feel happy and healthy for the first time

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Speaker 2: in my life was such a huge thing. And so

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Speaker 2: I kept on just following that. I kept on walking

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Speaker 2: toward the things that made me feel good and walking

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Speaker 2: away from the things that didn't. And that's how I

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Speaker 2: kind of got to where I am today. I then

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Speaker 2: started this thing called a blog in twenty ten, which

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Speaker 2: is like so vintage, so ed well. I was blogging

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Speaker 2: five days a week when I first started Wow, And

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Speaker 2: I was blogging about my battles with my body, and

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Speaker 2: my battles with my eating disorder, and my battles with

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Speaker 2: my inner mean girl, and all these things that I

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Speaker 2: was learning and discovering along my journey. And people would

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Speaker 2: stop me in the street and say, I thought I

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Speaker 2: was the only one. Like I thought I was the

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Speaker 2: only one that struggled with this, or dealt with anxiety

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Speaker 2: or whatever. It is. And then I began getting asked

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Speaker 2: to speak as like a motivational speaker, and I was like,

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Speaker 2: I don't even know, Like what is that?

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Speaker 1: I was like, explain to me.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. I was like, all right, I'll do it. And

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Speaker 2: my first gig was like for a big lulu lemon thing.

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Speaker 2: I did that and was just like, Okay, I'm just

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Speaker 2: going to wing it, like I don't really know what

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Speaker 2: I'm doing, but I'm just going to show up and

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Speaker 2: do it, And started running my own live events and

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Speaker 2: workshops and group the Goddess groups. Yes, I did them

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Speaker 2: weekly for two years. And then I went and wrote

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Speaker 2: my first ebook and created online courses, and then wrote

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Speaker 2: my first book, Mastering Your Mean Girl, and started my

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Speaker 2: podcast and here I am today. You know, that's been

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Speaker 2: the last like eleven years.

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Speaker 1: What a journey. And I love reminding our listeners that

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Speaker 1: your great successes now have been eleven or more years

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Speaker 1: in the making, or even your whole lifetime, and just

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Speaker 1: looking at the time since we've known each other before

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Speaker 1: your book came out, you know, your first book, so

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Speaker 1: much has changed for both of us that we never

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Speaker 1: could have predicted. And I can just never emphasize enough

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Speaker 1: the importance of patience and openness as you wait for

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Speaker 1: all the dots to connect, which often they don't until

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Speaker 1: quite a while down the track. So our quote for

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Speaker 1: yeas of our lives this week was the day you

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Speaker 1: plant the seed is not the day you eat the fruit.

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Speaker 1: And I'm sure there've been many times where you just

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Speaker 1: wanted all your seeds to bloom all at once, but

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Speaker 1: that would have deprived you of what you learned from

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Speaker 1: each experience. And with your dancing career, for example, even

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Speaker 1: though you've since grown out of that chapter, at the time,

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Speaker 1: it probably was your passion and joy. And at that age,

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Speaker 1: maybe you wouldn't have been ready to become a podcaster

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Speaker 1: or to be a best selling author launching her fourth book.

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Speaker 1: Maybe you wouldn't have had anything to talk about in

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Speaker 1: those books. So I always need to be reminded that

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Speaker 1: you can't just rush to the end and all the

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Speaker 1: baby steps accumulate into what gets you ready for what

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Speaker 1: comes next. So maybe take us back to that very beginning,

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Speaker 1: you know, as you came out of your health revelations,

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Speaker 1: to how you took those first steps pushing through the

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Speaker 1: fear of being in a new industry. Going back to

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Speaker 1: being a beginner and learning new skills and just trusting

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Speaker 1: that it would work out.

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Speaker 2: And that's really important. I think one of the biggest

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Speaker 2: motivators that kept me going was the feedback I was

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Speaker 2: getting from people, and that was, Oh, my goodness. I

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Speaker 2: thought I was the only one. I thought I was

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Speaker 2: the only one that dealt with food issues or body

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Speaker 2: image or whatever. And there definitely was times at the

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Speaker 2: start where my inner mean girl would say, yeah, but

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Speaker 2: you're not fully healed. But you're not you know, thriving

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Speaker 2: with your health. You know you've still got this issue

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Speaker 2: or this issue, and you know, who do you think

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Speaker 2: you are to speak about this? So that definitely did

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Speaker 2: come up. And then I took myself through and I

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Speaker 2: created this mastering Amingo process which I did my TED

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Speaker 2: talk on which you heard and I talk about in

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Speaker 2: my book. But then I started doing that process and

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Speaker 2: I kept on coming back to but I'm not proclaiming

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Speaker 2: to be perfect. There's no such thing. And I really

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Speaker 2: encourage everyone in all of my books and my podcast

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Speaker 2: and programs and live events to delete the word perfect

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Speaker 2: and perfection from your vocabulary because it just is ammo

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Speaker 2: for your in a mean girl to compare you to

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Speaker 2: everybody else, and so I've deleted those words from my vocabulary.

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Speaker 2: And for me, it's like, I'm not trying to be perfect.

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Speaker 2: I'm not saying I'm perfect. All I'm doing is sharing

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Speaker 2: my story, sharing my journey, sharing what's worked for me

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Speaker 2: for health, what's worked for me and my career, what's

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Speaker 2: worked for me and my relationships, what's worked for me

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Speaker 2: in all the different areas of my life. And that's

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Speaker 2: all we can really do. When you speak from personal experience,

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Speaker 2: that actually, like Brene Brown says, you know, vulnerability makes

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Speaker 2: people lean in. And when you share from your heart

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Speaker 2: and you just share your story and where you're at

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Speaker 2: and what's worked for you, that actually engages people and

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Speaker 2: it makes people lean in. As opposed to repeating some

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Speaker 2: story that you've heard somewhere else or so and so

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Speaker 2: did this. It's like, well, what's worked for you, Like,

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Speaker 2: I want to know what's worked for you and maybe

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Speaker 2: I could try it and see if it resonates for me. So,

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Speaker 2: wherever you're at, just share from your own perspective, share

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Speaker 2: from your own experience, because that's what's going to connect you.

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Speaker 1: I think that's something you've done really well. Weaving in

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Speaker 1: the anecdotal with your messages and sharing vulnerable and bumpier

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Speaker 1: chapters just as you're coming through them in the hope

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Speaker 1: that your experience might be someone else's survival guide. And

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Speaker 1: one of the bumpiest parts early on in anyone's journey

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Speaker 1: is it can be really disheartening when you set big

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Speaker 1: goals but then feel so far away from them. There's

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Speaker 1: such a fine line between striving for more to motivate

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Speaker 1: yourself on one hand, and then slipping into perpetual dissatisfaction

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Speaker 1: with what you haven't yet achieved on the other. So

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Speaker 1: talk to us about how you've just embraced the stage

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Speaker 1: that you're in while still aiming high. I remember when

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Speaker 1: you did your Goddess groups. You did those for two

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Speaker 1: years and that was the perfect delivery of your message

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Speaker 1: in smaller intimate groups in person, but then suddenly it wasn't,

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Speaker 1: And so you evolved into the next part with the

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Speaker 1: podcast and Ted talks and who knows what's going to

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Speaker 1: come next. So what advice do you have for people

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Speaker 1: who are in a chapter that they don't necessarily want

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Speaker 1: to be in but they're not sure what comes next,

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Speaker 1: And without detracting from where they are so that they

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Speaker 1: do enjoy the ride.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's such a good point. It's a really good point.

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Speaker 2: And we have to trust the process because everything is

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Speaker 2: always unfolding exactly the way that it's supposed to. And

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Speaker 2: there's things now that I want to do in five

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Speaker 2: years or ten years, but I've got them on my

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Speaker 2: vision boards, so to speak, and then I let them go.

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Speaker 2: I'm not holding onto them with white knuckle grip and

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Speaker 2: getting stressed out about it not happening right now because

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Speaker 2: I know the phase that I'm in in my life

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Speaker 2: right now, and I allow that to be and I

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Speaker 2: try not to change it. And I had a mentor

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Speaker 2: once say to me probably he said, are you going

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Speaker 2: to retire? And I was like, I don't think so.

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Speaker 2: I think I'll always write books and I don't know.

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Speaker 2: I just think that I'll always share my message. And

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Speaker 2: he goes, okay, cool. And you want to live till

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Speaker 2: like you're one hundred And I'm like yeah, and he's like.

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Speaker 1: Okay, cool.

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Speaker 2: So You've got a long time to work and to

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Speaker 2: create and to write more best selling books and to

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Speaker 2: interview Oprah and Tony Robbins and to speak on stage

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Speaker 2: with Tony Robbins and Oprah and to be interviewed by them, like,

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Speaker 2: You've got a long time to do all of those things.

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Speaker 2: Why do you need to do it all? This was

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Speaker 2: a couple of years ago. He said, why do you

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Speaker 2: need to do it all this year? And it hit

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Speaker 2: me like a ton of bricks, and I thought, why

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Speaker 2: am I rushing? Like why am I racing to fit

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Speaker 2: everything in and to do everything that I want to

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Speaker 2: do and create in my life this year? Like, once

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Speaker 2: I realize that I've got the rest of my life

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Speaker 2: to do all of these amazing things that I want

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Speaker 2: to do, I don't have to do them today and

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Speaker 2: I can just trust the process. Reminding myself that everything

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Speaker 2: is always unfolding exactly the way it's supposed to. Are

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Speaker 2: mantras of mine that I use all the time. And

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Speaker 2: I'm at a different phase now in my life than

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Speaker 2: I was a couple of years ago, even two years ago,

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Speaker 2: when I was, you know, rehearsing my Ted talk and

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Speaker 2: doing all that. I'm in a completely different phase. I'm

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Speaker 2: about to have my first child and launching my fourth book,

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Speaker 2: comparison Itis. Like it's just such a different phase. And

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Speaker 2: there's people out there that are doing amazing things, and

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Speaker 2: they're hitting the New York Times bestseller list again and

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Speaker 2: again and again, and you know, being interviewed by Oprah

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Speaker 2: and doing all of these things, and they're in that

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Speaker 2: phase of their life and I'm in this phase. And

434
00:23:05,400 --> 00:23:08,520
Speaker 2: we can't compare, which we'll talk about later. We can't

435
00:23:08,520 --> 00:23:11,919
Speaker 2: compare anyone else's journey to where we're at. We just

436
00:23:11,960 --> 00:23:14,720
Speaker 2: need to stay in our own lane and trust the

437
00:23:14,800 --> 00:23:19,600
Speaker 2: process and know that everything's always unfolding exactly the way

438
00:23:19,640 --> 00:23:21,119
Speaker 2: it's supposed to do for us.

439
00:23:21,520 --> 00:23:26,800
Speaker 1: Absolutely, and definitely want to get into the juicy comparison

440
00:23:26,840 --> 00:23:30,080
Speaker 1: itis because I think it is just, I mean, such

441
00:23:30,160 --> 00:23:33,600
Speaker 1: perfect timing for the book as your gift to the world,

442
00:23:33,680 --> 00:23:36,480
Speaker 1: because we all need it so desperately right now. But

443
00:23:36,640 --> 00:23:39,240
Speaker 1: just before that, I think something that you said about

444
00:23:39,480 --> 00:23:42,080
Speaker 1: the fact that if you are going to live a

445
00:23:42,119 --> 00:23:45,120
Speaker 1: long and healthy life and you're not necessarily going to retire,

446
00:23:45,280 --> 00:23:47,679
Speaker 1: that we do have a lot of time to achieve

447
00:23:47,720 --> 00:23:50,920
Speaker 1: a lot of different things. And something that I've watched

448
00:23:51,440 --> 00:23:54,480
Speaker 1: as a friend over the last I don't know, two

449
00:23:54,520 --> 00:23:58,680
Speaker 1: to five years is also you giving yourself permission along

450
00:23:58,720 --> 00:24:01,720
Speaker 1: the same note of changing chapters, and you know the

451
00:24:01,760 --> 00:24:03,840
Speaker 1: how changing even if the wise stays the same, is

452
00:24:03,880 --> 00:24:07,040
Speaker 1: also permission for you to change your mind, and that

453
00:24:07,160 --> 00:24:09,560
Speaker 1: your purpose at one stage of your life is going

454
00:24:09,640 --> 00:24:11,560
Speaker 1: to be different to your purpose at another stage of

455
00:24:11,600 --> 00:24:15,440
Speaker 1: your life. In health, in relationships, in structure, in even

456
00:24:15,480 --> 00:24:18,119
Speaker 1: where you live. You had a Sydney chapter where you

457
00:24:18,160 --> 00:24:20,400
Speaker 1: needed to be in and around the buzz. Now you're

458
00:24:20,400 --> 00:24:23,760
Speaker 1: having anost chapter because you can afford to be, you know,

459
00:24:24,280 --> 00:24:27,560
Speaker 1: giving yourself the space physically and living in an environment

460
00:24:27,640 --> 00:24:31,520
Speaker 1: that's slower and healthier. You know, all those changes. You're

461
00:24:31,520 --> 00:24:33,439
Speaker 1: allowed to change your mind about what you think. And

462
00:24:34,240 --> 00:24:36,800
Speaker 1: I know you and Nick have been through quite a

463
00:24:36,840 --> 00:24:40,320
Speaker 1: few things where you would openly experiment with new ways

464
00:24:40,359 --> 00:24:45,000
Speaker 1: of treating your body and new modalities and have since said,

465
00:24:45,520 --> 00:24:49,240
Speaker 1: actually I thought it worked, Maybe it didn't work. So

466
00:24:49,359 --> 00:24:52,760
Speaker 1: talk to us about not being too scared to change

467
00:24:52,760 --> 00:24:55,200
Speaker 1: your mind on something when you do enter a new

468
00:24:55,200 --> 00:24:57,760
Speaker 1: phase and you think, actually that's not really might have

469
00:24:57,840 --> 00:24:59,639
Speaker 1: worked for me once, but it doesn't now because that

470
00:25:00,040 --> 00:25:02,240
Speaker 1: when you live so publicly and you do share so

471
00:25:02,400 --> 00:25:05,639
Speaker 1: vulnerably about each chapter, it's hard then to share the

472
00:25:05,760 --> 00:25:08,119
Speaker 1: change as well with everyone and bring them along for

473
00:25:08,160 --> 00:25:08,600
Speaker 1: the ride.

474
00:25:08,840 --> 00:25:11,560
Speaker 2: Yes, something that I teach a lot and talk about

475
00:25:11,600 --> 00:25:15,000
Speaker 2: a lot is it's okay to change your mind, and

476
00:25:15,520 --> 00:25:18,879
Speaker 2: it's even okay to change your mind within the same

477
00:25:19,040 --> 00:25:22,719
Speaker 2: hour if you want to. Like, there's no rules, and

478
00:25:22,760 --> 00:25:27,000
Speaker 2: I think if you are, you know, I'm so dedicated

479
00:25:27,080 --> 00:25:31,960
Speaker 2: and love personal development and growth, and so does Nick

480
00:25:32,680 --> 00:25:35,560
Speaker 2: and a lot of our friends as well. We all

481
00:25:35,600 --> 00:25:38,199
Speaker 2: love it. We all want to keep evolving and growing,

482
00:25:38,200 --> 00:25:42,000
Speaker 2: which is why we're here on earth. And there's been yes,

483
00:25:42,080 --> 00:25:44,040
Speaker 2: so many different things that I'm like, I changed my

484
00:25:44,080 --> 00:25:46,520
Speaker 2: mind on that, and I might change it again and

485
00:25:46,600 --> 00:25:49,479
Speaker 2: again and again. And how cool is that? Because if

486
00:25:49,520 --> 00:25:53,080
Speaker 2: I stayed the same, how boring would that be? Like,

487
00:25:54,359 --> 00:25:56,959
Speaker 2: you know, and I know people who have stayed the same.

488
00:25:57,240 --> 00:26:01,239
Speaker 2: I know people they're still beating that same drum and

489
00:26:01,280 --> 00:26:06,280
Speaker 2: they have been for twenty thirty, forty, fifty, sixty years whatever,

490
00:26:06,840 --> 00:26:09,560
Speaker 2: and that's their truth and that's okay. But like for me,

491
00:26:09,760 --> 00:26:13,239
Speaker 2: I'm like, I love color in my life and I

492
00:26:13,280 --> 00:26:17,120
Speaker 2: love experimenting with different things, and you know, I want

493
00:26:17,160 --> 00:26:20,000
Speaker 2: to encourage everyone that if you do change your mind

494
00:26:20,040 --> 00:26:23,640
Speaker 2: about something, it's okay. You're allowed. You are allowed. You're

495
00:26:23,680 --> 00:26:25,640
Speaker 2: not in school, like and you're not going to get

496
00:26:25,680 --> 00:26:28,560
Speaker 2: sent to the principal's office if you do change your mind.

497
00:26:29,119 --> 00:26:32,280
Speaker 2: You're allowed to change your mind, you know, about anything

498
00:26:32,359 --> 00:26:34,960
Speaker 2: and everything. If you don't want to have kids, and

499
00:26:34,960 --> 00:26:36,960
Speaker 2: then all of a sudden you do, like that's okay.

500
00:26:37,520 --> 00:26:39,280
Speaker 2: If you want to eat this way and then you

501
00:26:39,320 --> 00:26:42,119
Speaker 2: want to change it to this way. Great, if you

502
00:26:42,160 --> 00:26:44,760
Speaker 2: believe in hardcore fitness and then all of a sudden

503
00:26:44,800 --> 00:26:48,160
Speaker 2: you just want to do yin yoga, like awesome, that's awesome,

504
00:26:48,200 --> 00:26:50,119
Speaker 2: and I'm so happy for you. But just know that

505
00:26:51,000 --> 00:26:53,240
Speaker 2: you're allowed to change your mind. You're allowed to say

506
00:26:53,760 --> 00:26:56,480
Speaker 2: and speak openly about it if you want to, and

507
00:26:56,720 --> 00:26:58,720
Speaker 2: you also don't have to you know, you don't have

508
00:26:58,760 --> 00:27:01,359
Speaker 2: to tell anyone that you've changed your mind. But I

509
00:27:01,400 --> 00:27:06,080
Speaker 2: think for me, it shows growth and it shows evolution,

510
00:27:06,359 --> 00:27:09,639
Speaker 2: and I want to share that with others as well,

511
00:27:09,760 --> 00:27:12,639
Speaker 2: so that they feel like they can too change their

512
00:27:12,640 --> 00:27:16,119
Speaker 2: mind about anything. Like there was a time where I

513
00:27:16,160 --> 00:27:18,440
Speaker 2: would say I don't believe in marriage and I don't

514
00:27:18,440 --> 00:27:21,359
Speaker 2: want to have kids, Like there was a time where

515
00:27:21,359 --> 00:27:24,280
Speaker 2: I believed that, like before I met my husband, Like

516
00:27:24,359 --> 00:27:27,199
Speaker 2: I would say I don't think I'll get married, like

517
00:27:27,240 --> 00:27:28,840
Speaker 2: I just don't think i'll get married and I don't

518
00:27:28,840 --> 00:27:30,879
Speaker 2: think i'll have kids, And then I met my husband,

519
00:27:30,880 --> 00:27:34,720
Speaker 2: I was like, let's get married and have babies right now. Yeah,

520
00:27:34,720 --> 00:27:37,199
Speaker 2: And even though we didn't have babies straight away, we

521
00:27:37,240 --> 00:27:41,080
Speaker 2: did get married very quickly. So we got married like

522
00:27:41,119 --> 00:27:42,760
Speaker 2: six months after we were together.

523
00:27:42,960 --> 00:27:46,720
Speaker 1: So that's just one of the many, many lessons that

524
00:27:46,840 --> 00:27:49,320
Speaker 1: I have learned from you. We said it's okay to, yeah,

525
00:27:49,400 --> 00:27:52,160
Speaker 1: to absolutely have shifts as you evolve, And I think

526
00:27:52,280 --> 00:27:55,119
Speaker 1: if you communicate why and how you've gone through that

527
00:27:55,160 --> 00:27:57,639
Speaker 1: transition and bring people along on the ride with you

528
00:27:57,720 --> 00:28:01,000
Speaker 1: that're totally okay with it and can definite appreciate that

529
00:28:01,080 --> 00:28:05,439
Speaker 1: as you grow and learn new things, it's yeah, quite

530
00:28:06,240 --> 00:28:09,160
Speaker 1: liberating to not have to stick to something so origidly

531
00:28:09,200 --> 00:28:10,840
Speaker 1: just because you said it once in public and then

532
00:28:10,840 --> 00:28:12,920
Speaker 1: you feel terrible that you've changed your mind about it.

533
00:28:13,640 --> 00:28:16,879
Speaker 1: But I also think that one of the things that

534
00:28:16,920 --> 00:28:20,920
Speaker 1: makes it very difficult to do that is the dreaded comparisonitis,

535
00:28:20,960 --> 00:28:24,199
Speaker 1: because we are influenced by so many different things around us,

536
00:28:24,240 --> 00:28:27,639
Speaker 1: and it can be hard to speak about the things

537
00:28:27,640 --> 00:28:30,440
Speaker 1: that you feel and you believe if they don't necessarily

538
00:28:30,440 --> 00:28:33,040
Speaker 1: align with what everyone else is doing and whatever else believes.

539
00:28:33,160 --> 00:28:37,920
Speaker 1: So tell us about your latest book, Comparisonitis. Why you

540
00:28:37,960 --> 00:28:40,640
Speaker 1: thought it was so important to write it now. I

541
00:28:40,760 --> 00:28:45,600
Speaker 1: love how it's structured treating comparisonitis like the illness that

542
00:28:45,680 --> 00:28:48,760
Speaker 1: it actually can be. You know, it's a problem. There's

543
00:28:48,760 --> 00:28:52,280
Speaker 1: a prescription, there's antidotes and remedies, which, in your signature

544
00:28:52,800 --> 00:28:56,760
Speaker 1: creativity is the most wonderful way to repitch something in

545
00:28:56,800 --> 00:28:59,600
Speaker 1: a way that helps you actually combat it. So talk

546
00:28:59,680 --> 00:29:02,040
Speaker 1: us through, so where the idea came from. I know

547
00:29:02,120 --> 00:29:05,040
Speaker 1: that you actually started a totally different book, wrote eighty

548
00:29:05,080 --> 00:29:07,760
Speaker 1: thousand words, and then decided to scribe it and start

549
00:29:07,800 --> 00:29:12,000
Speaker 1: a new once. So, yeah, introduce us to this beautiful

550
00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:12,800
Speaker 1: new book of yours.

551
00:29:13,040 --> 00:29:16,120
Speaker 2: Yes, So it's called comparison Ititis, How to stop comparing

552
00:29:16,160 --> 00:29:20,920
Speaker 2: yourself to others and be genuinely happy. And I love

553
00:29:21,160 --> 00:29:23,960
Speaker 2: this book so much, and I'm so excited that it's

554
00:29:24,000 --> 00:29:27,200
Speaker 2: out there, and it's so timely because I feel like,

555
00:29:27,360 --> 00:29:30,680
Speaker 2: now more than ever, we are suffering from comparison ititis

556
00:29:30,720 --> 00:29:33,320
Speaker 2: and we need to do something about it. You know,

557
00:29:33,360 --> 00:29:36,160
Speaker 2: social media is one of the biggest areas where we compare.

558
00:29:36,280 --> 00:29:39,400
Speaker 2: It's not going anywhere. We need to look at it

559
00:29:39,480 --> 00:29:41,800
Speaker 2: so that we can help ourselves and then also help

560
00:29:41,880 --> 00:29:45,440
Speaker 2: our younger generations and the generations that are growing up

561
00:29:45,520 --> 00:29:47,680
Speaker 2: with phones as soon as they come out of the

562
00:29:47,720 --> 00:29:50,800
Speaker 2: womb pretty much in their hand, which is just wild.

563
00:29:51,080 --> 00:29:53,840
Speaker 2: There's a couple of reasons why I wrote this book.

564
00:29:54,120 --> 00:29:57,000
Speaker 2: One of them was the story you shared before about

565
00:29:57,200 --> 00:30:01,760
Speaker 2: I was sitting on the toilet one day scrolling little

566
00:30:01,800 --> 00:30:06,160
Speaker 2: poop scrolling Instagram as you do. I mean, guilty, who

567
00:30:06,240 --> 00:30:09,320
Speaker 2: hasn't done that? This is something I do not recommend,

568
00:30:09,720 --> 00:30:11,440
Speaker 2: but I you know, it's like one of those things

569
00:30:11,480 --> 00:30:13,200
Speaker 2: that I was doing, and I talk about it in

570
00:30:13,240 --> 00:30:16,520
Speaker 2: the book. I do not recommend doing this. Anyway, I'm

571
00:30:16,560 --> 00:30:20,400
Speaker 2: sitting on the toilet scrolling Instagram, and I'm comparing myself

572
00:30:21,160 --> 00:30:26,240
Speaker 2: very unhealthily to another person who has just hit the

573
00:30:26,280 --> 00:30:29,200
Speaker 2: New York Times best Selling list for like the millionth time,

574
00:30:30,160 --> 00:30:33,320
Speaker 2: and my inner mean girl is saying, why aren't your

575
00:30:33,320 --> 00:30:36,240
Speaker 2: books hitting the list? You're not good enough. Your books

576
00:30:36,240 --> 00:30:39,320
Speaker 2: aren't good enough. Sure they're best sellers, but they're not

577
00:30:39,360 --> 00:30:43,920
Speaker 2: New York Times bestsellers like compare, compare, Compare. And then anyway,

578
00:30:43,960 --> 00:30:47,120
Speaker 2: I sat there and wasted probably twenty minutes of my

579
00:30:47,240 --> 00:30:50,040
Speaker 2: life that I'll never get back again, comparing myself to

580
00:30:50,120 --> 00:30:52,960
Speaker 2: this person. And then I came upstairs to my office

581
00:30:52,960 --> 00:30:55,960
Speaker 2: and I opened my computer and went to my emails,

582
00:30:56,320 --> 00:30:58,000
Speaker 2: and there was an email in there from a lady

583
00:30:58,000 --> 00:31:01,680
Speaker 2: called Kathy. And Kathy said to me, Hi, Melissa, I

584
00:31:01,840 --> 00:31:03,360
Speaker 2: you know, I just want to share how much your

585
00:31:03,400 --> 00:31:07,680
Speaker 2: work has inspired me. Your books, your podcast. I've been

586
00:31:07,720 --> 00:31:10,440
Speaker 2: to some of your live events. You know, I do

587
00:31:10,480 --> 00:31:14,280
Speaker 2: your meditations every day. You have changed my life. And

588
00:31:14,320 --> 00:31:18,320
Speaker 2: it was such a beautiful email, and she proceeded to

589
00:31:18,360 --> 00:31:20,520
Speaker 2: go on and tell me that I've inspired her so

590
00:31:20,640 --> 00:31:24,120
Speaker 2: much to write her own book. And she was saying,

591
00:31:24,160 --> 00:31:27,200
Speaker 2: you know, I would love some advice from you, Melissa.

592
00:31:27,760 --> 00:31:31,680
Speaker 2: I dream of having best selling books like you, and please,

593
00:31:31,800 --> 00:31:34,240
Speaker 2: can you give me any advice on where to start?

594
00:31:34,840 --> 00:31:38,440
Speaker 2: And I had this light bulb moment and I thought, literally,

595
00:31:38,880 --> 00:31:42,240
Speaker 2: Kathy's writing me that email, comparing herself to me, and

596
00:31:42,280 --> 00:31:44,640
Speaker 2: at that same time, I'm sitting on the toilet comparing

597
00:31:44,680 --> 00:31:47,600
Speaker 2: myself to someone else. And I had this realization that

598
00:31:47,640 --> 00:31:51,239
Speaker 2: we're all just comparing ourselves to other people, and that

599
00:31:51,320 --> 00:31:54,120
Speaker 2: New York Times bestselling author was probably comparing herself to

600
00:31:54,160 --> 00:31:57,920
Speaker 2: someone else as well, and it's this vicious cycle. You know,

601
00:31:58,040 --> 00:32:02,280
Speaker 2: it's a vicious cycle and it's not healthy at all.

602
00:32:02,920 --> 00:32:05,360
Speaker 2: And I had this realization. I was like, I need

603
00:32:05,360 --> 00:32:08,320
Speaker 2: to talk about this. Then I Another reason why I

604
00:32:08,360 --> 00:32:11,400
Speaker 2: wanted to write this book was I a few years ago,

605
00:32:11,480 --> 00:32:13,880
Speaker 2: I had a friend who took her own life. And

606
00:32:14,360 --> 00:32:17,400
Speaker 2: you know, she was just so divine babe, like she

607
00:32:18,040 --> 00:32:22,360
Speaker 2: was our age. She was so smart, so beautiful, had

608
00:32:22,360 --> 00:32:25,480
Speaker 2: a great job, a great partner, had everything going for her,

609
00:32:25,960 --> 00:32:30,280
Speaker 2: and compared herself so even to me, like I'm one

610
00:32:30,320 --> 00:32:32,680
Speaker 2: of her friends, and she would say to me, I'm

611
00:32:32,680 --> 00:32:34,680
Speaker 2: never going to find the love that you and Nick have.

612
00:32:35,080 --> 00:32:38,440
Speaker 2: Never She would say these things to me, and you know,

613
00:32:38,480 --> 00:32:40,040
Speaker 2: it would break my heart. And I was like, yes

614
00:32:40,080 --> 00:32:42,520
Speaker 2: you will, Yes you will, of course you will. No,

615
00:32:42,600 --> 00:32:45,800
Speaker 2: I'll never I'll never have that. And this was before

616
00:32:45,840 --> 00:32:48,680
Speaker 2: she was with her partner, and she was very heavily

617
00:32:48,720 --> 00:32:52,320
Speaker 2: bullied in high school and she battled depression and anxiety

618
00:32:52,480 --> 00:32:56,640
Speaker 2: for twenty years. And so you know, I was looking

619
00:32:56,680 --> 00:33:00,760
Speaker 2: at the data and the rise of depress, the rise

620
00:33:00,800 --> 00:33:04,600
Speaker 2: of anxiety, the rise of panic attacks, the rise of

621
00:33:04,680 --> 00:33:09,560
Speaker 2: suicide and suicidal thoughts. I thought, I have got to

622
00:33:09,640 --> 00:33:12,040
Speaker 2: do something about this, like what can I do? And

623
00:33:12,400 --> 00:33:17,200
Speaker 2: I looked into comparison and how that is affecting depression, anxiety,

624
00:33:17,200 --> 00:33:20,720
Speaker 2: panic attacks, and suicidal thoughts, and that was another reason

625
00:33:20,720 --> 00:33:23,920
Speaker 2: why I wanted to write this book. And like you said,

626
00:33:24,120 --> 00:33:26,840
Speaker 2: Nick and I were writing another book together. We were

627
00:33:26,840 --> 00:33:29,440
Speaker 2: writing a book and we had written eighty thousand words.

628
00:33:29,840 --> 00:33:33,360
Speaker 2: I had a contract signed with my publishers, wrote eighty

629
00:33:33,400 --> 00:33:37,000
Speaker 2: thousand words, and then just said, this isn't the next book.

630
00:33:37,120 --> 00:33:40,240
Speaker 2: This isn't my next book. And I emailed my publisher

631
00:33:40,240 --> 00:33:42,840
Speaker 2: and I said I want to write this book. And

632
00:33:42,880 --> 00:33:45,040
Speaker 2: I wrote a one page proposal and I said, this

633
00:33:45,080 --> 00:33:46,880
Speaker 2: is the book I want to write next. It's called

634
00:33:46,880 --> 00:33:49,600
Speaker 2: comparison Idis. This is what I want to write, and

635
00:33:49,640 --> 00:33:54,440
Speaker 2: this is why. And she said, yep, let's do it. Absolutely,

636
00:33:54,560 --> 00:33:56,600
Speaker 2: let's go for it. So we parked that other book

637
00:33:57,240 --> 00:34:00,640
Speaker 2: and I went to write this book. And I'm just

638
00:34:00,840 --> 00:34:03,760
Speaker 2: so glad that it's out now. There's so many like

639
00:34:03,800 --> 00:34:06,120
Speaker 2: you said, it's broken up into three parts, and there's

640
00:34:06,160 --> 00:34:09,719
Speaker 2: so many tools and tips and tricks that really help

641
00:34:09,840 --> 00:34:15,520
Speaker 2: people heal from this toxic comparison itis. It's really a

642
00:34:15,560 --> 00:34:18,400
Speaker 2: book about radical self love. Because when you love yourself

643
00:34:18,520 --> 00:34:21,839
Speaker 2: so much, you don't compare yourself to anybody else. And

644
00:34:22,400 --> 00:34:26,520
Speaker 2: it's so needed right now with the way that the

645
00:34:26,520 --> 00:34:29,359
Speaker 2: world is going and being at home a lot and

646
00:34:29,400 --> 00:34:31,920
Speaker 2: being on social media a lot. You know, I was

647
00:34:31,920 --> 00:34:35,759
Speaker 2: thinking about during the writing process. I felt pregnant, and

648
00:34:35,840 --> 00:34:41,120
Speaker 2: I thought, wow, I do not want my daughter to

649
00:34:41,320 --> 00:34:46,000
Speaker 2: ever feel like she is less than anyone else. I

650
00:34:46,000 --> 00:34:49,960
Speaker 2: don't ever want like I was imagining, imagining her comparing

651
00:34:50,000 --> 00:34:53,279
Speaker 2: herself to other people and saying, well, she's prettier than

652
00:34:53,280 --> 00:34:55,920
Speaker 2: me or and I just like it pulled on my

653
00:34:56,040 --> 00:35:00,520
Speaker 2: heartstrings so much, like and anyone listening who has children,

654
00:35:00,840 --> 00:35:03,520
Speaker 2: I'm sure you feel the same. Like you would not

655
00:35:03,560 --> 00:35:06,040
Speaker 2: want or even any small people in your life. You

656
00:35:06,080 --> 00:35:08,800
Speaker 2: would not want them to compare themselves. You know, you

657
00:35:09,480 --> 00:35:11,400
Speaker 2: just want to hold them and say, but you're so

658
00:35:11,640 --> 00:35:15,080
Speaker 2: beautiful and amazing and you're a miracle. And the thing

659
00:35:15,160 --> 00:35:18,759
Speaker 2: is is we are all miracles. There is one in

660
00:35:18,840 --> 00:35:22,759
Speaker 2: four hundred trillion chances that you were born, and that

661
00:35:23,000 --> 00:35:25,160
Speaker 2: is magic and we need to remember that. And that

662
00:35:25,200 --> 00:35:28,319
Speaker 2: book is really about remembering the magic of who you are,

663
00:35:28,400 --> 00:35:31,279
Speaker 2: the miracle of who you are, because when you know

664
00:35:31,360 --> 00:35:34,280
Speaker 2: that deep in your core, you will not compare yourself

665
00:35:34,320 --> 00:35:35,120
Speaker 2: to anyone else.

666
00:35:36,320 --> 00:35:38,680
Speaker 1: Hey, Yahborhood, Just a quick word about our partner and

667
00:35:38,760 --> 00:35:42,200
Speaker 1: Yea before we continue with today's episode. As you've probably seen,

668
00:35:42,280 --> 00:35:46,359
Speaker 1: I've been zipping around town in a fabulous yamobile from Mitsubishi,

669
00:35:46,480 --> 00:35:49,759
Speaker 1: the amazing new Eclipse Cross and I'm so grateful to

670
00:35:49,800 --> 00:35:52,640
Speaker 1: the team for making our yeas of our live segment possible.

671
00:35:53,280 --> 00:35:55,600
Speaker 1: You all know I love working with partners who use

672
00:35:55,640 --> 00:35:58,160
Speaker 1: their influence in business for good and not only are

673
00:35:58,239 --> 00:36:01,400
Speaker 1: Mitsubishi enabling us to shine a lie on unsung heroes

674
00:36:01,400 --> 00:36:05,239
Speaker 1: in the community, They've also just extended their own partnership

675
00:36:05,280 --> 00:36:08,680
Speaker 1: with Disaster Relief Australia. As part of this, they'll be

676
00:36:08,719 --> 00:36:14,840
Speaker 1: providing twenty five suv and all terrain vehicles across Adelaide, Brisbane, Canberra, Melbourne,

677
00:36:14,840 --> 00:36:19,240
Speaker 1: Sydney and Townsville, helping to fulfill Disaster Relief Australia's mission

678
00:36:19,320 --> 00:36:23,160
Speaker 1: to provide rapid disaster response in the wake of natural disasters.

679
00:36:23,719 --> 00:36:27,480
Speaker 1: Throughout the devastating twenty nineteen and twenty twenty bush by

680
00:36:27,520 --> 00:36:31,800
Speaker 1: A season, Mitsubishi helped Disaster Relief Australia deploy nearly six

681
00:36:32,040 --> 00:36:35,880
Speaker 1: hundred volunteers across the country to support with clearing bush

682
00:36:35,960 --> 00:36:39,080
Speaker 1: via Land and this support accounted to a community value

683
00:36:39,080 --> 00:36:42,120
Speaker 1: of over two point two million dollars, which will only

684
00:36:42,200 --> 00:36:45,680
Speaker 1: continue to grow this year. What a privilege it is

685
00:36:45,719 --> 00:36:47,880
Speaker 1: to have a partner in Yea with such a big heart.

686
00:36:48,200 --> 00:36:50,279
Speaker 1: And keep an eye out for the Yamobile as we'll

687
00:36:50,320 --> 00:36:53,120
Speaker 1: be heading out with Disaster Relief Australia to see more

688
00:36:53,160 --> 00:36:56,239
Speaker 1: of what they do in the coming months. Now back

689
00:36:56,280 --> 00:37:03,080
Speaker 1: to the show, and I think the most amazing thing

690
00:37:03,120 --> 00:37:07,000
Speaker 1: about it is that you always dissect an issue like

691
00:37:07,080 --> 00:37:09,880
Speaker 1: your mean girl or like comparison itis, in a way

692
00:37:09,920 --> 00:37:13,279
Speaker 1: that makes us think about the way it operates on

693
00:37:13,320 --> 00:37:16,279
Speaker 1: our lives. Like before you give it a name, you

694
00:37:16,320 --> 00:37:19,000
Speaker 1: can't actually identify when you're doing it or what you're

695
00:37:19,040 --> 00:37:21,760
Speaker 1: doing it about. And you break down very very clearly,

696
00:37:21,800 --> 00:37:26,160
Speaker 1: you know the difference between upwards comparison, downwards comparison, the

697
00:37:26,200 --> 00:37:28,640
Speaker 1: different pain points we have it about because some of

698
00:37:28,719 --> 00:37:32,360
Speaker 1: us are triggered by body comparisons, some it's career comparison.

699
00:37:32,440 --> 00:37:36,160
Speaker 1: And you're mentioning falling pregnant while you are writing how

700
00:37:36,239 --> 00:37:39,080
Speaker 1: much comparison about not being able to get pregnant comparison

701
00:37:39,080 --> 00:37:42,160
Speaker 1: that there had been, And there's even a quiz in

702
00:37:42,200 --> 00:37:46,839
Speaker 1: the book to help you identify practically where it's affecting you,

703
00:37:47,200 --> 00:37:50,799
Speaker 1: because in some areas, comparison isn't all bad. It's a

704
00:37:50,920 --> 00:37:56,800
Speaker 1: healthy evolutionary mechanism to be inspired to do things differently.

705
00:37:56,880 --> 00:37:58,799
Speaker 1: It means that we don't always stay in our own

706
00:37:58,800 --> 00:38:02,400
Speaker 1: comfort zone, but it's and it tips over into obsessive

707
00:38:03,000 --> 00:38:06,520
Speaker 1: and negative and self worth reflective. That that's where you

708
00:38:06,560 --> 00:38:08,960
Speaker 1: need to start to build an immunity, as you mentioned

709
00:38:09,000 --> 00:38:10,799
Speaker 1: to it. And I don't want to reveal too much

710
00:38:10,840 --> 00:38:13,120
Speaker 1: else because I think everyone should go and read the book,

711
00:38:13,160 --> 00:38:16,440
Speaker 1: but just the way that it's structured alone makes you

712
00:38:16,480 --> 00:38:19,120
Speaker 1: reflect so heavily on what's useful for you, what's not,

713
00:38:19,200 --> 00:38:21,400
Speaker 1: and what your own habits are. And once you know

714
00:38:21,440 --> 00:38:24,040
Speaker 1: your own habits, you can combat them. But until you

715
00:38:24,120 --> 00:38:27,640
Speaker 1: know and identify what you're actually doing, it's impossible. So

716
00:38:28,320 --> 00:38:31,080
Speaker 1: I just think it's come at such a perfect time.

717
00:38:31,440 --> 00:38:34,440
Speaker 1: The details of everyone else's lives have never been more visible,

718
00:38:35,160 --> 00:38:38,720
Speaker 1: and we are the pressure on ourselves to be successful

719
00:38:38,840 --> 00:38:43,480
Speaker 1: and to keep kicking goals is wonderful, but also I

720
00:38:43,520 --> 00:38:46,200
Speaker 1: think has its downsides and can be quite toxic. So

721
00:38:46,960 --> 00:38:49,799
Speaker 1: I'm so proud of you. I loved every word. I

722
00:38:49,880 --> 00:38:52,560
Speaker 1: honestly don't know like I have written one and I

723
00:38:52,560 --> 00:38:55,680
Speaker 1: don't think I have any words left. But somehow you

724
00:38:55,800 --> 00:38:59,640
Speaker 1: still have incredible wisdom and insights on more and more

725
00:38:59,680 --> 00:39:02,719
Speaker 1: topics and are about to go on or have just

726
00:39:02,880 --> 00:39:07,680
Speaker 1: gone on Matt leave. So maybe talk us through the

727
00:39:07,760 --> 00:39:10,319
Speaker 1: motherhood side of things. As you just mentioned, you're having

728
00:39:10,360 --> 00:39:13,040
Speaker 1: a beautiful baby girl. A lot of what you do

729
00:39:13,120 --> 00:39:15,319
Speaker 1: now is aimed at the world that you want to

730
00:39:15,360 --> 00:39:19,560
Speaker 1: bring a young woman into. You have had a bit

731
00:39:19,600 --> 00:39:21,840
Speaker 1: of a bumpy ride, Like I don't think there is

732
00:39:21,840 --> 00:39:24,560
Speaker 1: anything but a bumpy ride when it comes to conception

733
00:39:24,719 --> 00:39:27,880
Speaker 1: and fertility and pregnancy. And we're already a stepmom to

734
00:39:28,000 --> 00:39:31,360
Speaker 1: Leo or little Monkey for many, many years now. So

735
00:39:32,239 --> 00:39:36,320
Speaker 1: from a mum's perspective, how do you think comparison itis operates?

736
00:39:36,480 --> 00:39:39,400
Speaker 1: And what have you been doing to kind of build

737
00:39:39,400 --> 00:39:41,480
Speaker 1: your immunity in a new area of your life?

738
00:39:42,160 --> 00:39:46,640
Speaker 2: Oh my goodness, there's a whole chapter called CPR Conscious

739
00:39:47,200 --> 00:39:53,319
Speaker 2: Parenting Remedies because honestly, like I surveyed my audience, and

740
00:39:53,360 --> 00:39:55,920
Speaker 2: I surveyed, I did lots and lots of research on

741
00:39:56,400 --> 00:39:59,880
Speaker 2: the main areas where people compare themselves and luck you me.

742
00:40:00,280 --> 00:40:03,840
Speaker 2: Body image is a huge one, career is a huge one,

743
00:40:04,080 --> 00:40:08,880
Speaker 2: relationships is a huge one, and parenting is a huge one.

744
00:40:08,960 --> 00:40:12,120
Speaker 2: It's so important that we stay in our own lane

745
00:40:12,160 --> 00:40:15,960
Speaker 2: when it comes to parenting and conception and pregnancy and

746
00:40:16,080 --> 00:40:20,480
Speaker 2: all of that. I definitely didn't when I was consciously conceiving.

747
00:40:21,080 --> 00:40:24,359
Speaker 2: The eighteen months that my husband and I consciously were

748
00:40:24,400 --> 00:40:27,319
Speaker 2: conceiving was some of the most challenging eighteen months of

749
00:40:27,360 --> 00:40:31,359
Speaker 2: my life. You know, it was so hard. And when

750
00:40:31,400 --> 00:40:36,239
Speaker 2: your heart is yearning to be a mama and everything else,

751
00:40:36,280 --> 00:40:40,319
Speaker 2: you manifest in your life so well, and you you know,

752
00:40:40,400 --> 00:40:44,759
Speaker 2: I couldn't manifest this. I couldn't control this, and control

753
00:40:44,920 --> 00:40:49,799
Speaker 2: being the operative word here. I had to learn and

754
00:40:50,480 --> 00:40:54,359
Speaker 2: practice surrender and letting go of control. They were like

755
00:40:54,760 --> 00:40:58,680
Speaker 2: my two biggest spiritual assignments during that time. There was

756
00:40:58,760 --> 00:41:01,120
Speaker 2: nothing wrong like I do all the tests. There was

757
00:41:01,200 --> 00:41:03,279
Speaker 2: nothing wrong with my body. There was nothing wrong with

758
00:41:03,360 --> 00:41:07,680
Speaker 2: Nick's body, like nothing. It was just this spiritual assignment

759
00:41:07,719 --> 00:41:11,200
Speaker 2: for us to practice surrender and letting go of control.

760
00:41:11,400 --> 00:41:16,120
Speaker 2: And there was times where I compared myself what she's

761
00:41:16,200 --> 00:41:22,520
Speaker 2: pregnant again, like share it around. I'm like, like first

762
00:41:22,600 --> 00:41:26,480
Speaker 2: time she first time they tried, like.

763
00:41:26,880 --> 00:41:29,360
Speaker 1: All those people who were like me, Oh it was

764
00:41:29,400 --> 00:41:30,200
Speaker 1: an accident.

765
00:41:30,320 --> 00:41:34,480
Speaker 2: I didn't know and you're like, oh yeah, knife in

766
00:41:34,560 --> 00:41:38,319
Speaker 2: my heart. Oh my gosh, like let me just pull

767
00:41:38,400 --> 00:41:42,000
Speaker 2: the knife out of my heart. And so happy for them, truly,

768
00:41:42,080 --> 00:41:46,560
Speaker 2: so happy. And it still triggered me to compare and

769
00:41:46,560 --> 00:41:49,879
Speaker 2: and to spiral into the what's wrong with me? Why

770
00:41:49,960 --> 00:41:54,200
Speaker 2: can't what's wrong with my body? Why can't I get pregnant?

771
00:41:54,239 --> 00:41:57,440
Speaker 2: Like you know so much? And it was such a lesson.

772
00:41:57,560 --> 00:41:59,960
Speaker 2: It was such a lesson for me. And it's soon

773
00:42:00,120 --> 00:42:02,160
Speaker 2: as soon as I did surrender and let go of

774
00:42:02,160 --> 00:42:05,120
Speaker 2: control fully, like it happened like that, you know, And

775
00:42:05,160 --> 00:42:09,799
Speaker 2: it was it was such a beautiful growth period. It's

776
00:42:09,840 --> 00:42:13,080
Speaker 2: like growth on steroids. That's what I feel like that

777
00:42:13,280 --> 00:42:16,879
Speaker 2: meeteen months was just on steroids. And I think we

778
00:42:17,200 --> 00:42:20,520
Speaker 2: have to remember when it comes to conception and when

779
00:42:20,520 --> 00:42:23,680
Speaker 2: it comes to pregnancy, when it comes to parenting and

780
00:42:23,800 --> 00:42:26,520
Speaker 2: all areas of our life, like we have to stay

781
00:42:26,560 --> 00:42:29,919
Speaker 2: in our own lane. And I talk about this a lot.

782
00:42:29,920 --> 00:42:32,399
Speaker 2: We've got to put on our blinkers, stay in our

783
00:42:32,440 --> 00:42:35,360
Speaker 2: own lane. And trust. Come back to what I was

784
00:42:35,360 --> 00:42:39,440
Speaker 2: saying before. Trust in the process of life, and remember

785
00:42:39,480 --> 00:42:43,440
Speaker 2: that everything is always unfolding exactly the way it's supposed to.

786
00:42:44,160 --> 00:42:46,440
Speaker 2: It was not meant to happen a month earlier, or

787
00:42:46,480 --> 00:42:49,719
Speaker 2: two months earlier or three it wasn't. It just wasn't.

788
00:42:49,760 --> 00:42:51,759
Speaker 2: And now I can see. But when you're in it,

789
00:42:51,840 --> 00:42:55,240
Speaker 2: you're like, why is this not happening? But I also

790
00:42:55,360 --> 00:42:58,800
Speaker 2: remind myself that there'll be a time in the future

791
00:42:59,040 --> 00:43:03,279
Speaker 2: where I'll look back and I will say, oh, that

792
00:43:03,560 --> 00:43:07,120
Speaker 2: happened because that needed to happen, And then that happened,

793
00:43:07,440 --> 00:43:10,759
Speaker 2: and of course it's perfect, you know, of course it's

794
00:43:10,800 --> 00:43:13,400
Speaker 2: happened that way. When we're in it, we just have

795
00:43:13,520 --> 00:43:17,799
Speaker 2: to remind ourselves to trust the process and let go

796
00:43:17,880 --> 00:43:22,080
Speaker 2: of the control and just stay in our own lane.

797
00:43:22,480 --> 00:43:26,799
Speaker 1: Totally. Absolutely, that's such good advice because so often you

798
00:43:26,920 --> 00:43:29,480
Speaker 1: do look back and it all makes sense, but you

799
00:43:29,520 --> 00:43:31,600
Speaker 1: won't have that perspective in the moment. You just have

800
00:43:31,640 --> 00:43:33,879
Speaker 1: to trust that it will come and you will absolutely

801
00:43:33,880 --> 00:43:37,359
Speaker 1: find it on reflection later on. It's just definitely a

802
00:43:37,360 --> 00:43:41,799
Speaker 1: trust in the universe exercise, but another we've kind of

803
00:43:42,080 --> 00:43:44,520
Speaker 1: morphed into the n AATA and talked a lot about. Obviously,

804
00:43:44,560 --> 00:43:47,400
Speaker 1: comparison itis is the biggest NATA for so many of us,

805
00:43:47,480 --> 00:43:50,560
Speaker 1: and that's intertwined with self doubt and imposter syndrome. But

806
00:43:50,680 --> 00:43:53,600
Speaker 1: another thing that I think you have been a huge,

807
00:43:54,000 --> 00:43:56,359
Speaker 1: huge role model for me for. And it's funny when

808
00:43:56,400 --> 00:44:00,000
Speaker 1: I look back at my journey, there are clear people

809
00:44:00,239 --> 00:44:04,239
Speaker 1: who represent certain big lessons without which I wouldn't have

810
00:44:04,360 --> 00:44:07,400
Speaker 1: done anything that I've done or be any of the

811
00:44:07,440 --> 00:44:09,160
Speaker 1: person who I am. And one of the things I

812
00:44:09,280 --> 00:44:11,879
Speaker 1: think I've told you this many many times is how

813
00:44:12,000 --> 00:44:17,480
Speaker 1: amazingly you safeguard your time and your energy to make

814
00:44:17,520 --> 00:44:21,160
Speaker 1: sure that you can write books and do the podcast

815
00:44:21,320 --> 00:44:23,880
Speaker 1: and show up for your family and be a great

816
00:44:23,920 --> 00:44:26,239
Speaker 1: wife and a great stepmom and now a great mother,

817
00:44:26,840 --> 00:44:30,920
Speaker 1: and particularly with another child coming into your world, I

818
00:44:30,920 --> 00:44:34,680
Speaker 1: imagine that only becomes more important. I think something women

819
00:44:34,880 --> 00:44:38,480
Speaker 1: generally struggle with so much is boundaries. We feel like

820
00:44:38,520 --> 00:44:42,239
Speaker 1: our identity is wrapped up in delivering to everyone and

821
00:44:42,800 --> 00:44:46,200
Speaker 1: doing having at all and having balance. And you really

822
00:44:46,239 --> 00:44:50,879
Speaker 1: really taught me from early on that having strong boundaries

823
00:44:51,080 --> 00:44:54,920
Speaker 1: is not an act of aggression. It's not even to

824
00:44:55,239 --> 00:44:58,759
Speaker 1: you know, it's just respecting yourself and knowing where your

825
00:44:58,760 --> 00:45:00,759
Speaker 1: limits are and how to make sure that you don't

826
00:45:00,800 --> 00:45:03,640
Speaker 1: burn out. And my big failing for the first couple

827
00:45:03,680 --> 00:45:05,759
Speaker 1: of years in business was burning out over and over

828
00:45:05,920 --> 00:45:08,440
Speaker 1: and being like, I left corporate to be a wellness person,

829
00:45:08,480 --> 00:45:12,480
Speaker 1: and I'm less well than I was before. I've always

830
00:45:12,480 --> 00:45:14,920
Speaker 1: looked up to the way that you've managed your calendar

831
00:45:15,600 --> 00:45:20,840
Speaker 1: and blocked out time for certain things, for your physical, mental,

832
00:45:21,440 --> 00:45:26,520
Speaker 1: emotional health, for boundaries with social media, for you know everything.

833
00:45:26,680 --> 00:45:28,920
Speaker 1: How do you do that? What are some of the

834
00:45:28,960 --> 00:45:34,520
Speaker 1: biggest strategies that taught you how to even how to

835
00:45:34,600 --> 00:45:37,759
Speaker 1: craft a gentle no that doesn't feel hard for you

836
00:45:37,880 --> 00:45:41,640
Speaker 1: to put up that boundary, and even how to figure

837
00:45:41,680 --> 00:45:44,839
Speaker 1: out how many days a week you need of downtime

838
00:45:44,960 --> 00:45:46,799
Speaker 1: versus you know, how did you work all that.

839
00:45:46,800 --> 00:45:49,840
Speaker 2: Out trial and error? For sure?

840
00:45:50,520 --> 00:45:52,360
Speaker 1: Because I feel like I met you after all the

841
00:45:52,400 --> 00:45:54,399
Speaker 1: trial and error and that you just figured it out.

842
00:45:54,600 --> 00:45:57,600
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, And people would people that would meet me

843
00:45:57,640 --> 00:46:00,440
Speaker 2: now would think, oh, yeah, you have you always been

844
00:46:00,480 --> 00:46:02,319
Speaker 2: like this? Like is this just how you you know,

845
00:46:02,360 --> 00:46:04,520
Speaker 2: were born? You came out of the womb like.

846
00:46:04,520 --> 00:46:06,600
Speaker 1: This with a calender that's color coded.

847
00:46:06,760 --> 00:46:10,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, And like healthy boundaries and definitely not like, definitely

848
00:46:10,480 --> 00:46:13,920
Speaker 2: not like. I come from a long lineage of people pleasers,

849
00:46:14,360 --> 00:46:17,480
Speaker 2: and that was something I had to reprogram and it

850
00:46:17,520 --> 00:46:21,239
Speaker 2: took burnout. It took me getting a dreamal fatigue and

851
00:46:21,320 --> 00:46:26,560
Speaker 2: chronic fatigue to realize that I have to put myself first,

852
00:46:26,640 --> 00:46:30,839
Speaker 2: Like I cannot give from an empty cup. I have

853
00:46:30,920 --> 00:46:34,759
Speaker 2: to be overflowing with love and energy and vitality so

854
00:46:34,800 --> 00:46:37,280
Speaker 2: that I can give to my friends and my husband

855
00:46:37,280 --> 00:46:40,640
Speaker 2: and my family. Otherwise what is the point. So I

856
00:46:40,680 --> 00:46:46,480
Speaker 2: have experienced burnout like you, so I know that I

857
00:46:46,520 --> 00:46:50,640
Speaker 2: don't want to experience that again necessarily. So that's that

858
00:46:50,800 --> 00:46:54,560
Speaker 2: was the motivator as to why I have crafted a

859
00:46:54,640 --> 00:47:00,480
Speaker 2: life that is purely self, love centered and soul driven.

860
00:47:01,040 --> 00:47:04,640
Speaker 2: And that's exactly how I live my life, and everything

861
00:47:04,719 --> 00:47:08,799
Speaker 2: I do in my life is a full body hell yeah.

862
00:47:09,040 --> 00:47:13,720
Speaker 2: So every business decision it has to be a full

863
00:47:13,719 --> 00:47:17,239
Speaker 2: body hell yeah. Every personal decision has to be a

864
00:47:17,280 --> 00:47:20,400
Speaker 2: full body hell yeah. And if it's not, it's a

865
00:47:20,640 --> 00:47:23,600
Speaker 2: thank you so much for thinking of me, But I'm

866
00:47:23,600 --> 00:47:26,879
Speaker 2: not going to be able to do this. And that

867
00:47:27,120 --> 00:47:32,120
Speaker 2: is quote unquote challenging for a lot of people who,

868
00:47:32,239 --> 00:47:34,919
Speaker 2: like myself, had been conditioned to people please. I grew

869
00:47:34,960 --> 00:47:37,759
Speaker 2: up in a very Catholic Italian family, where it's like

870
00:47:38,600 --> 00:47:41,440
Speaker 2: should was my middle name. You should do this, you

871
00:47:41,520 --> 00:47:43,759
Speaker 2: should do that for your aunt, you should do that

872
00:47:43,800 --> 00:47:45,879
Speaker 2: for your sibling, you should do that for your mother,

873
00:47:46,000 --> 00:47:49,879
Speaker 2: your grandmother, whatever. So should was my middle name. And

874
00:47:50,480 --> 00:47:53,879
Speaker 2: I realized that it's not how I wanted to live

875
00:47:53,960 --> 00:47:57,760
Speaker 2: my life. It didn't feel good and it was burning

876
00:47:57,800 --> 00:48:00,960
Speaker 2: me out. And Nick is a big spander for me

877
00:48:01,080 --> 00:48:05,080
Speaker 2: and this His family doesn't have shoulds, and when I

878
00:48:05,120 --> 00:48:08,000
Speaker 2: know shults like and we've been together almost eight years,

879
00:48:08,680 --> 00:48:14,719
Speaker 2: and I remember first meeting his family and just thinking, Wow,

880
00:48:15,280 --> 00:48:20,160
Speaker 2: they place zero expectations on each other. There is no

881
00:48:20,360 --> 00:48:24,719
Speaker 2: shoulds whatsoever. And it was so inspiring for me to

882
00:48:24,840 --> 00:48:29,480
Speaker 2: see and witness another way to be, And so I

883
00:48:29,560 --> 00:48:32,399
Speaker 2: started to live that way too. And I talk about

884
00:48:32,400 --> 00:48:35,680
Speaker 2: this in my second book, Open Wide, about practicing crystal

885
00:48:35,760 --> 00:48:40,880
Speaker 2: clear communication. And this is how you express to people

886
00:48:41,280 --> 00:48:43,720
Speaker 2: that you know, Oh, thank you so much for thinking

887
00:48:43,719 --> 00:48:47,000
Speaker 2: of me, for this speaking gig or for that invitation,

888
00:48:47,280 --> 00:48:51,719
Speaker 2: but I just have to lovingly decline. And I know

889
00:48:51,920 --> 00:48:54,759
Speaker 2: you're like me, babe, where you want to do all

890
00:48:54,800 --> 00:48:57,640
Speaker 2: the things like you want to do everything. And there

891
00:48:57,760 --> 00:48:59,879
Speaker 2: was a time at the start of my career where

892
00:48:59,880 --> 00:49:05,000
Speaker 2: I said yes to everything. Literally every opportunity that came

893
00:49:05,000 --> 00:49:06,719
Speaker 2: my way, I said yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. And

894
00:49:06,760 --> 00:49:08,840
Speaker 2: I was at a different phase. I was single, I

895
00:49:08,840 --> 00:49:11,680
Speaker 2: didn't have a steps on, I wasn't pregnant. I was

896
00:49:11,719 --> 00:49:14,520
Speaker 2: building my career. That's what I was doing, and it

897
00:49:14,640 --> 00:49:17,840
Speaker 2: was all amazing, but I did end up burning myself out.

898
00:49:17,920 --> 00:49:21,520
Speaker 2: And so come back to your own personal boundaries and

899
00:49:21,560 --> 00:49:26,760
Speaker 2: get clear on what makes you feel really good. Overscheduling

900
00:49:26,800 --> 00:49:31,200
Speaker 2: my calendar does not feel good for me. It just doesn't.

901
00:49:31,680 --> 00:49:36,120
Speaker 2: And being pregnant, like even more so now one activity

902
00:49:36,160 --> 00:49:38,799
Speaker 2: a day, like I can you know, I've got two

903
00:49:38,880 --> 00:49:42,600
Speaker 2: activities today and I'm like, whoa, it's a bit too much.

904
00:49:43,520 --> 00:49:46,800
Speaker 2: Oh my god, it's a bit too much. Where literally

905
00:49:46,880 --> 00:49:49,560
Speaker 2: like if you had have looked at my calendar years ago,

906
00:49:49,640 --> 00:49:51,640
Speaker 2: it was just back to back, back to back things

907
00:49:51,719 --> 00:49:54,799
Speaker 2: like no white space. And now when I look at

908
00:49:54,800 --> 00:49:58,560
Speaker 2: my calendar, I feel so overwhelmed if there's not enough

909
00:49:58,560 --> 00:50:01,760
Speaker 2: white space. And it's a different phase in my life.

910
00:50:01,760 --> 00:50:04,240
Speaker 2: But I think you need to work out what feels

911
00:50:04,280 --> 00:50:08,640
Speaker 2: good for you and inject self care and self love

912
00:50:09,280 --> 00:50:12,400
Speaker 2: into your every day, not just on Friday nights when

913
00:50:12,440 --> 00:50:16,759
Speaker 2: you have a bubble bath. Every day needs to have

914
00:50:17,120 --> 00:50:20,560
Speaker 2: self care every day, even if it's just ten minutes.

915
00:50:21,280 --> 00:50:23,520
Speaker 2: That it doesn't have to be five hours. It doesn't

916
00:50:23,560 --> 00:50:26,120
Speaker 2: have to be going to the spa, even if it's

917
00:50:26,280 --> 00:50:30,480
Speaker 2: just ten minutes of laying on your bed closing your

918
00:50:30,520 --> 00:50:35,040
Speaker 2: eyes and breathing deeply, or meditating, or having a cup

919
00:50:35,080 --> 00:50:38,880
Speaker 2: of tea in the sun without your phone, whatever fills

920
00:50:38,920 --> 00:50:41,879
Speaker 2: you up, Like, create a self love menu. I talk

921
00:50:41,880 --> 00:50:44,240
Speaker 2: about that in mastering your Mean Girl. Create a self

922
00:50:44,280 --> 00:50:49,760
Speaker 2: love menu and inject self love and self care every day.

923
00:50:50,080 --> 00:50:53,600
Speaker 2: Like people say to me, you get so much self

924
00:50:53,640 --> 00:50:55,640
Speaker 2: care and self love into your every day, And I'm.

925
00:50:55,520 --> 00:50:57,600
Speaker 1: Like, I put it there if I told you.

926
00:50:57,640 --> 00:50:59,879
Speaker 2: Like, like all the things I did, Like my whole

927
00:51:00,360 --> 00:51:03,520
Speaker 2: is about self care and self love, from what I eat,

928
00:51:04,000 --> 00:51:07,440
Speaker 2: to what I do, to spending time and nature, to

929
00:51:07,520 --> 00:51:11,359
Speaker 2: my little daily rituals to going to bed early, like

930
00:51:11,400 --> 00:51:15,000
Speaker 2: it's all an act of self love. And I think

931
00:51:15,040 --> 00:51:20,360
Speaker 2: if you are currently feeling very overwhelmed and maybe very stressed,

932
00:51:21,120 --> 00:51:24,440
Speaker 2: that taking a look at your calendar and looking at

933
00:51:24,760 --> 00:51:28,480
Speaker 2: what you are saying yes to, that you really don't

934
00:51:28,520 --> 00:51:32,160
Speaker 2: want to, and just being really honest, and this isn't

935
00:51:32,160 --> 00:51:35,960
Speaker 2: about being rude to people. This is just about communicating. Like,

936
00:51:36,000 --> 00:51:38,719
Speaker 2: now I'm on maternity leave and I have to like

937
00:51:39,160 --> 00:51:42,000
Speaker 2: not look at my inbox because of all these opportunities

938
00:51:42,040 --> 00:51:44,400
Speaker 2: that are coming to me. Can you be on this podcast?

939
00:51:44,480 --> 00:51:46,239
Speaker 2: Can you do this speaking gig? Can you do this?

940
00:51:46,320 --> 00:51:48,680
Speaker 2: And I'm just like I have to not look at

941
00:51:48,719 --> 00:51:50,680
Speaker 2: it because I'm like there's a part of me that's

942
00:51:50,719 --> 00:51:52,640
Speaker 2: like I want to do all the things, but then

943
00:51:52,680 --> 00:51:55,400
Speaker 2: there's also a part of me that's like boundaries. Melissa,

944
00:51:55,520 --> 00:51:59,319
Speaker 2: Like you're about to give birth and you're on maternity leave,

945
00:51:59,360 --> 00:52:03,520
Speaker 2: and now like I have to check like even doing

946
00:52:03,560 --> 00:52:06,200
Speaker 2: this interview because I'm technically on maternityly I had to

947
00:52:06,200 --> 00:52:09,840
Speaker 2: ask Nick. I said, can I do this interview with Sarah?

948
00:52:09,880 --> 00:52:12,000
Speaker 2: And He's like, okay, that's the last one. Then that

949
00:52:12,120 --> 00:52:12,360
Speaker 2: is it?

950
00:52:12,800 --> 00:52:15,480
Speaker 1: And I know, thank you so much my life. We

951
00:52:15,520 --> 00:52:18,160
Speaker 1: had this scheduled for last week, which was Mel's last

952
00:52:18,160 --> 00:52:23,120
Speaker 1: official day, and because I appreciate so much your boundaries,

953
00:52:23,200 --> 00:52:24,960
Speaker 1: what they mean to you and how important they are,

954
00:52:25,040 --> 00:52:27,880
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, I'm so sorry, can we please

955
00:52:27,960 --> 00:52:31,520
Speaker 1: do But that's the thing that when people know you

956
00:52:31,560 --> 00:52:34,960
Speaker 1: have strong boundaries and they understand why they respect them,

957
00:52:35,000 --> 00:52:38,040
Speaker 1: then rather than constantly pushing you because they know that

958
00:52:38,080 --> 00:52:41,399
Speaker 1: you're you know, your cave in the end, it's I think,

959
00:52:41,760 --> 00:52:44,799
Speaker 1: such a strong sign of respect for yourself but also

960
00:52:44,960 --> 00:52:47,160
Speaker 1: means you can turn up as your best self every

961
00:52:47,239 --> 00:52:49,680
Speaker 1: time you do something. You never turn up to a

962
00:52:49,719 --> 00:52:51,920
Speaker 1: speaking gig thinking, oh, I'm not going to do a

963
00:52:51,920 --> 00:52:56,319
Speaker 1: good job because I'm you know, exhausted, because like last week,

964
00:52:56,360 --> 00:52:59,160
Speaker 1: I couldn't do this interview because I lost my boys,

965
00:52:59,200 --> 00:53:02,000
Speaker 1: which was we are responsible by me because I had

966
00:53:02,040 --> 00:53:04,600
Speaker 1: not managed my calendar that week. It was International Women's

967
00:53:04,680 --> 00:53:07,279
Speaker 1: Day and I got all on the female empowerment, got

968
00:53:07,320 --> 00:53:09,200
Speaker 1: to say yes to every woman that asks me everything,

969
00:53:09,280 --> 00:53:12,319
Speaker 1: And it's enjoyable in the moment, but then at the

970
00:53:12,480 --> 00:53:15,080
Speaker 1: end you're like, who what am I sacrificing for that?

971
00:53:15,200 --> 00:53:17,480
Speaker 1: And I think the white space trick in your calendar

972
00:53:17,560 --> 00:53:20,239
Speaker 1: is such a good one because you can visualize. But

973
00:53:20,280 --> 00:53:22,440
Speaker 1: the other thing you mentioned as well is which leads

974
00:53:22,520 --> 00:53:26,080
Speaker 1: to the last section very nicely Playta, is that you

975
00:53:26,440 --> 00:53:28,880
Speaker 1: do things every day and it doesn't have to be

976
00:53:28,960 --> 00:53:32,440
Speaker 1: big things. It can be small. The ten minute routines

977
00:53:32,480 --> 00:53:36,000
Speaker 1: one minute routines. But something that's very hard when you're

978
00:53:36,000 --> 00:53:38,840
Speaker 1: in an industry that is about self development and wellness

979
00:53:39,239 --> 00:53:44,640
Speaker 1: and vitality is that things like meditation and exercise, they

980
00:53:44,719 --> 00:53:47,279
Speaker 1: still are a bit of a box ticking exercise, there's

981
00:53:47,280 --> 00:53:51,120
Speaker 1: still something we do for an outcome. What other things

982
00:53:51,200 --> 00:53:54,960
Speaker 1: you do that have no outcome, that are purely for play,

983
00:53:55,080 --> 00:53:59,680
Speaker 1: that are unrelated to comparison it as self doubt, mentoring,

984
00:53:59,760 --> 00:54:04,480
Speaker 1: tear podcasting. It's when you have a podcast, everything is

985
00:54:04,520 --> 00:54:06,759
Speaker 1: work because you want to hear about new stories and

986
00:54:06,800 --> 00:54:09,839
Speaker 1: you're always scouting. What are the things you do that

987
00:54:10,000 --> 00:54:15,440
Speaker 1: disconnect you from productive? Melissa author, Melissa Mom, Melissa wife.

988
00:54:15,160 --> 00:54:20,120
Speaker 2: Melissa definitely dancing silly in the lounde room with Nick,

989
00:54:20,760 --> 00:54:23,759
Speaker 2: And this is something we aim to do each day.

990
00:54:24,440 --> 00:54:27,160
Speaker 2: And I love music and he's a musician, so we

991
00:54:27,239 --> 00:54:30,120
Speaker 2: have music playing most of the day in the house

992
00:54:30,200 --> 00:54:33,160
Speaker 2: and we will just do one song a day. That's

993
00:54:33,200 --> 00:54:35,799
Speaker 2: our little ritual. We're like one song a day and

994
00:54:35,840 --> 00:54:40,880
Speaker 2: we just dance so silly, like it just oh my god,

995
00:54:41,000 --> 00:54:43,719
Speaker 2: it doesn't even matter what we look like. And he

996
00:54:43,800 --> 00:54:46,360
Speaker 2: has some moves called the Spider. One of my favorite

997
00:54:46,360 --> 00:54:48,120
Speaker 2: moves that he does is the Spider, and I'm like,

998
00:54:48,160 --> 00:54:50,759
Speaker 2: do the Spider. Do the Spider. It's the best. And

999
00:54:50,800 --> 00:54:53,040
Speaker 2: I've said to him, I'm like, when I go into labor,

1000
00:54:53,480 --> 00:54:56,320
Speaker 2: can you just do the Spider? And he's like sure,

1001
00:55:00,360 --> 00:55:04,840
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh. So for me, it's like there's no outcome,

1002
00:55:05,000 --> 00:55:09,640
Speaker 2: it's just pure joy. It's so much fun to do

1003
00:55:09,680 --> 00:55:11,919
Speaker 2: that with him. And you know, there was a couple

1004
00:55:11,960 --> 00:55:14,759
Speaker 2: of years where we did ballroom dance lessons together, which

1005
00:55:14,880 --> 00:55:17,839
Speaker 2: was so fun. That's right, so fun. When we lived

1006
00:55:17,840 --> 00:55:21,120
Speaker 2: in Sydney, we did I think for about two years,

1007
00:55:21,160 --> 00:55:25,000
Speaker 2: maybe even longer. We did weekly ballroom dance lessons and

1008
00:55:25,280 --> 00:55:27,319
Speaker 2: Nick has never danced before in his life and it

1009
00:55:27,440 --> 00:55:30,000
Speaker 2: was so beautiful. And I was talking about it with

1010
00:55:30,080 --> 00:55:31,759
Speaker 2: him the other day. I was like, I miss that.

1011
00:55:31,800 --> 00:55:34,040
Speaker 2: Like we got the professional shoes and everything, and we

1012
00:55:34,040 --> 00:55:39,680
Speaker 2: were like dancing with the stars, here we come, and and.

1013
00:55:40,080 --> 00:55:41,320
Speaker 1: We took it so seriously.

1014
00:55:41,360 --> 00:55:43,960
Speaker 2: We like did little competitions and things and we won,

1015
00:55:44,200 --> 00:55:47,719
Speaker 2: like we won the Waltz Best Waltz why, like.

1016
00:55:47,960 --> 00:55:49,960
Speaker 1: So, why is that not in your Instagram?

1017
00:55:49,960 --> 00:55:54,640
Speaker 2: But I got it totally. Champion Division Q exactly like

1018
00:55:54,719 --> 00:55:58,880
Speaker 2: Division Z, Oh my gosh. But it was just so

1019
00:55:59,160 --> 00:56:02,640
Speaker 2: much fun to do that we did that just purely

1020
00:56:02,680 --> 00:56:07,200
Speaker 2: for ourselves. I very rarely posted about it. I've only

1021
00:56:07,239 --> 00:56:10,000
Speaker 2: posted about it since we finished doing the lessons, But

1022
00:56:10,160 --> 00:56:14,360
Speaker 2: during it, no one knew. I never posted our weekly classes.

1023
00:56:14,800 --> 00:56:16,960
Speaker 2: It was just for us, and it was something that

1024
00:56:17,200 --> 00:56:20,040
Speaker 2: we would be doing work all day and then like

1025
00:56:20,120 --> 00:56:22,239
Speaker 2: three o'clock would hit and we'd jump in the car

1026
00:56:22,520 --> 00:56:25,080
Speaker 2: we'd go to our hour lesson and we just had

1027
00:56:25,080 --> 00:56:27,719
Speaker 2: an hour to ourselves, and you know, it was so

1028
00:56:27,880 --> 00:56:31,839
Speaker 2: much fun. And I think finding something each day that

1029
00:56:31,920 --> 00:56:35,280
Speaker 2: you can do that just brings you so much joy.

1030
00:56:35,360 --> 00:56:39,120
Speaker 2: Maybe it's baking cookies like I don't know. Maybe it's

1031
00:56:39,320 --> 00:56:43,360
Speaker 2: doing silly voices and characters with your partner or your

1032
00:56:43,600 --> 00:56:47,440
Speaker 2: roommates or your kids. Like I think bringing play and

1033
00:56:47,600 --> 00:56:51,680
Speaker 2: silliness into your every day is so important. We can

1034
00:56:51,719 --> 00:56:55,320
Speaker 2: get so serious in our day to day life, especially

1035
00:56:55,360 --> 00:56:58,000
Speaker 2: when you are running a business and you're an entrepreneur.

1036
00:56:58,520 --> 00:57:00,759
Speaker 2: I think, you know something that always says to me,

1037
00:57:00,760 --> 00:57:03,279
Speaker 2: He's like, I love You're like a big kid, you know,

1038
00:57:03,320 --> 00:57:05,680
Speaker 2: And I get that from my dad. My dad is

1039
00:57:05,719 --> 00:57:09,080
Speaker 2: a big kid, Like he's still such a kid, and

1040
00:57:09,280 --> 00:57:12,040
Speaker 2: he said, Nick always says, I love that you got

1041
00:57:12,040 --> 00:57:14,200
Speaker 2: that from him because you are You're a big kid.

1042
00:57:14,280 --> 00:57:18,200
Speaker 2: You just are silly and playful, and I think we

1043
00:57:18,280 --> 00:57:21,160
Speaker 2: need to There's been times where I've forgotten that, and

1044
00:57:21,600 --> 00:57:24,000
Speaker 2: we need to remember that. So find those things that

1045
00:57:24,720 --> 00:57:27,080
Speaker 2: just bring you and inject a little bit of joy

1046
00:57:27,120 --> 00:57:30,800
Speaker 2: and yay and play into your everyday life and try

1047
00:57:30,840 --> 00:57:32,200
Speaker 2: and do it. Do it by yourself, or do it

1048
00:57:32,200 --> 00:57:34,600
Speaker 2: with your kids, do it with your partner or your roommate, whoever,

1049
00:57:35,080 --> 00:57:37,520
Speaker 2: but just inject that into your day.

1050
00:57:38,200 --> 00:57:40,080
Speaker 1: People should see us when we first see each other

1051
00:57:40,080 --> 00:57:41,680
Speaker 1: when it hasn't you know, when it's been a while,

1052
00:57:41,680 --> 00:57:46,120
Speaker 1: we're all like, just like do these stupid day gosh.

1053
00:57:46,000 --> 00:57:48,520
Speaker 2: And my voice goes up like fifteen octaves.

1054
00:57:50,680 --> 00:57:52,760
Speaker 1: We don't turn into those people. When you see other

1055
00:57:52,760 --> 00:57:55,120
Speaker 1: women do it, you're just like, oh, shut up. But

1056
00:57:55,160 --> 00:57:56,840
Speaker 1: then when you see your own friends, you're.

1057
00:57:56,720 --> 00:58:01,280
Speaker 2: Like, Ah, there's a funny meme going around. I don't

1058
00:58:01,280 --> 00:58:03,200
Speaker 2: know if you've seen it where these two kids they

1059
00:58:03,400 --> 00:58:06,160
Speaker 2: when they first see each other and they're just over

1060
00:58:06,240 --> 00:58:09,120
Speaker 2: excited and so cute and they're like The caption said,

1061
00:58:09,320 --> 00:58:11,680
Speaker 2: like tag a friend that you are like this with

1062
00:58:11,760 --> 00:58:12,919
Speaker 2: you and you see and I was like, I thought

1063
00:58:12,960 --> 00:58:18,440
Speaker 2: of you, so so excited, oh so excited.

1064
00:58:19,280 --> 00:58:22,240
Speaker 1: All right, my love. To finish our second last question,

1065
00:58:22,400 --> 00:58:25,120
Speaker 1: what are three interesting things about you that don't normally

1066
00:58:25,120 --> 00:58:27,560
Speaker 1: come up in conversation. And for someone who shares as

1067
00:58:27,600 --> 00:58:30,320
Speaker 1: openly as you do, this will be very difficult, but

1068
00:58:30,560 --> 00:58:34,120
Speaker 1: try and think of things that maybe only Nick would know,

1069
00:58:34,600 --> 00:58:38,440
Speaker 1: like sleep habits, or like weird quirky things that you

1070
00:58:38,560 --> 00:58:41,000
Speaker 1: like to eat or don't like to eat, or weird

1071
00:58:41,080 --> 00:58:44,080
Speaker 1: party tricks, like what are some weird things about you?

1072
00:58:44,600 --> 00:58:47,560
Speaker 2: The first one that just came to mind that you

1073
00:58:47,600 --> 00:58:49,600
Speaker 2: said sleep, and this is something that I do every

1074
00:58:49,680 --> 00:58:53,040
Speaker 2: night is I tape my mouth my lips closed every night.

1075
00:58:54,560 --> 00:58:57,040
Speaker 2: You do know I do. And this and I'll tell

1076
00:58:57,080 --> 00:58:58,720
Speaker 2: you why is because.

1077
00:58:58,480 --> 00:58:59,280
Speaker 1: The spider thing.

1078
00:58:59,560 --> 00:59:06,960
Speaker 2: No it's not as fire, No, it's okay. So I've

1079
00:59:06,960 --> 00:59:10,280
Speaker 2: done a lot of research in the effects of mouth breathing.

1080
00:59:10,400 --> 00:59:12,360
Speaker 2: So you don't want to breathe through your mouth. You

1081
00:59:12,400 --> 00:59:15,120
Speaker 2: want to breathe through your nose because your nose actually

1082
00:59:15,160 --> 00:59:17,919
Speaker 2: has all of these hairs in there to filter the air.

1083
00:59:18,040 --> 00:59:19,760
Speaker 2: So you don't want to be a mouth breather. You

1084
00:59:19,800 --> 00:59:22,440
Speaker 2: want to be a nose breather, and actually being a

1085
00:59:22,440 --> 00:59:25,880
Speaker 2: mouth breather can change the shape of your teeth and

1086
00:59:25,920 --> 00:59:28,480
Speaker 2: your jaw and everything like that. So you want to

1087
00:59:28,520 --> 00:59:32,120
Speaker 2: be a nose breather, right And since I got pregnant,

1088
00:59:33,080 --> 00:59:36,640
Speaker 2: Nick said, I started breathing through my mouth at nighttime.

1089
00:59:37,040 --> 00:59:40,320
Speaker 2: And that's because stuff does happen with your nose, like

1090
00:59:40,440 --> 00:59:45,200
Speaker 2: it shifts and like you get quite congested. Donkey. Yeah,

1091
00:59:45,200 --> 00:59:46,960
Speaker 2: it's really weird. They don't tell you that when you

1092
00:59:46,960 --> 00:59:52,080
Speaker 2: get pregnant as well. So I tape my mouth every night.

1093
00:59:52,120 --> 00:59:53,840
Speaker 2: I just put like a tiny bit of tape on

1094
00:59:53,920 --> 00:59:59,120
Speaker 2: my lips to keep my mouth closed, and sometimes I

1095
00:59:59,240 --> 01:00:01,640
Speaker 2: wear these nose those strips that open up.

1096
01:00:03,400 --> 01:00:06,520
Speaker 1: You are so damn sexy right now. I won't even

1097
01:00:06,520 --> 01:00:08,120
Speaker 1: believe the bedtime.

1098
01:00:07,760 --> 01:00:11,240
Speaker 2: It gets worse, it gets worse. I then have ear

1099
01:00:11,320 --> 01:00:17,840
Speaker 2: plugs in and an ie mask, and so Nick, I'm like,

1100
01:00:18,000 --> 01:00:19,920
Speaker 2: good night, babe. And then I go roll over and

1101
01:00:19,960 --> 01:00:26,240
Speaker 2: I put all my paraphernaliaer on, and.

1102
01:00:24,440 --> 01:00:28,240
Speaker 1: It's just like, bye, honey, this is so intimate and sexy.

1103
01:00:28,000 --> 01:00:32,160
Speaker 2: So hot right now. So that's like my sleep, my

1104
01:00:32,320 --> 01:00:33,400
Speaker 2: sleep routine.

1105
01:00:33,800 --> 01:00:36,919
Speaker 1: That's amazing. I would just wake up with the tape off,

1106
01:00:36,960 --> 01:00:39,840
Speaker 1: because I'm like, I'm sure I would just yawn it

1107
01:00:39,880 --> 01:00:45,920
Speaker 1: open or something I sleep eat. You see, it's so

1108
01:00:46,040 --> 01:00:49,560
Speaker 1: weird to get up and go to the kitchen. Yeah,

1109
01:00:49,560 --> 01:00:52,920
Speaker 1: And the only reason I know is because and I

1110
01:00:52,960 --> 01:00:55,320
Speaker 1: can't imagine how many times it's happened where there isn't

1111
01:00:55,440 --> 01:00:58,240
Speaker 1: a packet or a skin or something to tell me

1112
01:00:58,280 --> 01:01:00,920
Speaker 1: that I've done it. I would wake up with like

1113
01:01:01,080 --> 01:01:04,240
Speaker 1: avocado skins and a spoon next to the bed.

1114
01:01:04,360 --> 01:01:10,200
Speaker 2: It's so that's hilarious. Well, since being pregnant, I've woken

1115
01:01:10,280 --> 01:01:12,760
Speaker 2: up and you are hungry, more hungry, so I go

1116
01:01:12,800 --> 01:01:15,760
Speaker 2: and eat, but I'm awake. I'm very aware of what.

1117
01:01:15,680 --> 01:01:18,960
Speaker 1: I'm doing, so you know how like I don't really

1118
01:01:19,120 --> 01:01:22,520
Speaker 1: I'm not a sweet tooth. I'm not really into like

1119
01:01:22,600 --> 01:01:24,600
Speaker 1: I like chocolate every now and then, but it's not like,

1120
01:01:24,760 --> 01:01:28,040
Speaker 1: you know, I'd rather cheese and pizza. But when I

1121
01:01:28,160 --> 01:01:30,680
Speaker 1: was traveling a lot, I would wake up in a

1122
01:01:30,760 --> 01:01:34,680
Speaker 1: hotel room and the mini bar would be like empty

1123
01:01:34,800 --> 01:01:37,840
Speaker 1: packets of stuff I just don't even like, like cherry rites,

1124
01:01:37,880 --> 01:01:40,640
Speaker 1: not a big fan cherry righte packet next to my head.

1125
01:01:40,960 --> 01:01:42,600
Speaker 1: The only person in the hotel room.

1126
01:01:42,840 --> 01:01:45,680
Speaker 2: I did not know this about you. This is hilarious.

1127
01:01:46,000 --> 01:01:50,240
Speaker 1: It's new it's like the last probably just before COVID

1128
01:01:50,400 --> 01:01:54,720
Speaker 1: was started. So just around the wedding, I noticed when

1129
01:01:54,760 --> 01:01:56,040
Speaker 1: I was traveling.

1130
01:01:55,840 --> 01:01:58,680
Speaker 2: Every night do you do packets? Well?

1131
01:01:58,720 --> 01:02:00,480
Speaker 1: I don't know, because what if I eat things that

1132
01:02:00,520 --> 01:02:04,439
Speaker 1: don't have a skin or a packet, and you know.

1133
01:02:04,680 --> 01:02:08,080
Speaker 2: Nick like wake up and is he like where's Sarah?

1134
01:02:08,240 --> 01:02:10,360
Speaker 1: No, but he's definitely woke up and I am eating

1135
01:02:10,480 --> 01:02:12,200
Speaker 1: and he'll ask me about it and be like.

1136
01:02:12,160 --> 01:02:12,560
Speaker 2: What is that?

1137
01:02:12,600 --> 01:02:14,920
Speaker 1: And I'll be like a cheese toasty and He'll be like,

1138
01:02:14,920 --> 01:02:17,680
Speaker 1: how did you make that? You I make things?

1139
01:02:18,480 --> 01:02:23,120
Speaker 2: Whoa, this is brilliant, This is so good.

1140
01:02:23,240 --> 01:02:25,200
Speaker 1: And he'll tell me like, maybe you don't want to

1141
01:02:25,240 --> 01:02:26,880
Speaker 1: eat that. You know you won't sleep. Well, it's like

1142
01:02:26,880 --> 01:02:28,960
Speaker 1: two am, and apparently I get really like, what are

1143
01:02:29,000 --> 01:02:30,800
Speaker 1: you saying? What are you saying? I need to stop

1144
01:02:30,840 --> 01:02:32,480
Speaker 1: eating so I need to watch my weight, Like I

1145
01:02:32,480 --> 01:02:36,120
Speaker 1: get all feisty about it. That's so weird.

1146
01:02:37,240 --> 01:02:38,880
Speaker 2: That is hilarious.

1147
01:02:39,400 --> 01:02:39,880
Speaker 1: It's great.

1148
01:02:40,040 --> 01:02:42,560
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, I love it. Well with your sleep

1149
01:02:42,560 --> 01:02:46,560
Speaker 2: habits and my sleep habits, we're very sexy. But I

1150
01:02:46,640 --> 01:02:49,080
Speaker 2: have to admit, like my Nick does wear the nose

1151
01:02:49,080 --> 01:02:51,320
Speaker 2: strip as well and the eye masks so we're in

1152
01:02:51,360 --> 01:02:51,920
Speaker 2: it together.

1153
01:02:52,040 --> 01:02:55,560
Speaker 1: Oh that's good. At least you're in it together. What

1154
01:02:55,600 --> 01:02:56,240
Speaker 1: are your other two?

1155
01:02:56,800 --> 01:03:00,200
Speaker 2: Ooh, I'm trying to think if there's any food things.

1156
01:03:00,600 --> 01:03:03,640
Speaker 1: Or even just like habit things like do you have, oh,

1157
01:03:03,800 --> 01:03:06,560
Speaker 1: pet peeves? Do you have any pet peeves? Like mine

1158
01:03:06,600 --> 01:03:08,800
Speaker 1: is like slow walking people who walk through deep on

1159
01:03:08,840 --> 01:03:10,240
Speaker 1: the foot path and you can't get around.

1160
01:03:12,280 --> 01:03:15,440
Speaker 2: That is pretty funny. I'm a little bit of like

1161
01:03:15,600 --> 01:03:20,800
Speaker 2: a principal police like, you know, like when something is principal,

1162
01:03:20,880 --> 01:03:24,080
Speaker 2: Like I'm like, but it's principal, like you know, you

1163
01:03:24,120 --> 01:03:29,480
Speaker 2: can't do that, like you can't litter, like it's you know, like, oh, okay,

1164
01:03:29,560 --> 01:03:32,000
Speaker 2: actually I just I go up to people on the

1165
01:03:32,040 --> 01:03:34,480
Speaker 2: beach that are smoking and I tell them that they

1166
01:03:34,520 --> 01:03:37,600
Speaker 2: I'm like, you actually can't smoke on the beach, and

1167
01:03:37,600 --> 01:03:40,520
Speaker 2: and if they drop their butt in the sand, I'm like,

1168
01:03:40,840 --> 01:03:42,840
Speaker 2: you're gonna pick that up, aren't you and take that

1169
01:03:42,880 --> 01:03:46,800
Speaker 2: to the bin? I like teasure, I know. I'm like,

1170
01:03:47,120 --> 01:03:48,520
Speaker 2: so that's.

1171
01:03:48,000 --> 01:03:49,840
Speaker 1: That's something, and it's a good one.

1172
01:03:50,160 --> 01:03:52,320
Speaker 2: This is a good one. But yeah, like I just

1173
01:03:52,360 --> 01:03:54,520
Speaker 2: can't stand the smoking on the beach right next to me.

1174
01:03:54,560 --> 01:03:56,760
Speaker 2: I'm like trying to lay there and enjoy my time

1175
01:03:56,840 --> 01:03:58,840
Speaker 2: and then someone comes and sits and smokes right next

1176
01:03:58,880 --> 01:04:04,080
Speaker 2: to you. Not fun. Definitely not fun. Let me think.

1177
01:04:06,040 --> 01:04:08,080
Speaker 1: There's definitely weird things about you.

1178
01:04:08,680 --> 01:04:09,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, what else? What else?

1179
01:04:10,800 --> 01:04:15,360
Speaker 1: Like is there any weird skill? Like are you double jointed?

1180
01:04:15,600 --> 01:04:17,560
Speaker 1: Or is there anything when you were a dancer that

1181
01:04:17,640 --> 01:04:20,240
Speaker 1: you were like either really bad at or really good at?

1182
01:04:20,440 --> 01:04:24,480
Speaker 1: Like I suck at tennis, like I'm really coordinated all

1183
01:04:24,480 --> 01:04:27,640
Speaker 1: other ball sports great, can't play tennis. Don't know why,

1184
01:04:27,760 --> 01:04:30,000
Speaker 1: don't know why ball sports.

1185
01:04:29,600 --> 01:04:33,320
Speaker 2: Are not my forte. Like Nick and Leo, they make

1186
01:04:33,400 --> 01:04:36,800
Speaker 2: fun of me. They're like, oh, they will go down

1187
01:04:36,800 --> 01:04:38,360
Speaker 2: to the beach and I'll be like, oh, play and

1188
01:04:38,400 --> 01:04:42,160
Speaker 2: they're like no, like they don't actually want me to play.

1189
01:04:42,200 --> 01:04:45,480
Speaker 2: And I'm like, oh, like okay, Like We've got this

1190
01:04:45,600 --> 01:04:48,560
Speaker 2: little tennis racket and ball thing and I'm like okay,

1191
01:04:48,560 --> 01:04:52,880
Speaker 2: I'll just I'll just sit and watch them. Okay they

1192
01:04:52,960 --> 01:04:57,440
Speaker 2: just laugh. Oh wait, they just laugh at me constantly

1193
01:04:57,640 --> 01:05:00,520
Speaker 2: with my They're like catch this, catch this, and I'll

1194
01:05:00,560 --> 01:05:03,880
Speaker 2: like try and catch it, and then no, that's it's

1195
01:05:03,880 --> 01:05:04,880
Speaker 2: pretty embarrassing.

1196
01:05:05,520 --> 01:05:07,320
Speaker 1: Do you have a middle name? Have I asked you that?

1197
01:05:07,800 --> 01:05:09,640
Speaker 2: What's your Mary?

1198
01:05:09,840 --> 01:05:11,040
Speaker 1: I did not know that.

1199
01:05:17,000 --> 01:05:22,240
Speaker 2: MMA like seriously and very catholic and very so good catholic.

1200
01:05:22,560 --> 01:05:25,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, like so confentye.

1201
01:05:26,760 --> 01:05:27,320
Speaker 2: So cool.

1202
01:05:29,960 --> 01:05:32,720
Speaker 1: Very last question we love. What's your favorite quote?

1203
01:05:32,920 --> 01:05:36,560
Speaker 2: I love quotes. I'm like you, I think, and one

1204
01:05:37,000 --> 01:05:39,680
Speaker 2: that I love a lot and I've used a lot

1205
01:05:39,760 --> 01:05:42,520
Speaker 2: during really challenging times. Is this too.

1206
01:05:42,320 --> 01:05:43,919
Speaker 1: Shell pass such a good one?

1207
01:05:44,040 --> 01:05:47,880
Speaker 2: It's such a goodie. Whenever you're going through something challenging,

1208
01:05:48,280 --> 01:05:51,480
Speaker 2: just remind yourself that this too shell pass past. I

1209
01:05:51,480 --> 01:05:53,720
Speaker 2: have written it on post it notes and stuck it

1210
01:05:53,760 --> 01:05:56,200
Speaker 2: all over my house at different times when I've gone

1211
01:05:56,240 --> 01:05:59,840
Speaker 2: through things, even when I was going through the conception journey,

1212
01:06:00,160 --> 01:06:04,000
Speaker 2: reminding myself that this will pass. It's a really beautiful quote.

1213
01:06:04,080 --> 01:06:07,040
Speaker 2: And I love quotes like you and put them as

1214
01:06:07,120 --> 01:06:09,560
Speaker 2: reminders in your phone or alarms in your phone to

1215
01:06:09,680 --> 01:06:12,040
Speaker 2: go off so that you can remind yourself.

1216
01:06:12,280 --> 01:06:15,240
Speaker 1: I also think it's good for the good times as well,

1217
01:06:15,320 --> 01:06:17,439
Speaker 1: to remember this too shall pass, so that you don't

1218
01:06:17,520 --> 01:06:20,240
Speaker 1: let it pass you by and you fully appreciate it

1219
01:06:20,280 --> 01:06:23,600
Speaker 1: while it's there, because everything is temporary and you do

1220
01:06:23,720 --> 01:06:25,800
Speaker 1: tend to think things will last forever. So I think

1221
01:06:25,840 --> 01:06:28,520
Speaker 1: that's a really, really beautiful one to finish on. Thank

1222
01:06:28,560 --> 01:06:31,560
Speaker 1: you so much for giving me a day of your

1223
01:06:31,880 --> 01:06:35,800
Speaker 1: maternity leave and sharing so generously. The book is absolutely brilliant.

1224
01:06:36,320 --> 01:06:40,680
Speaker 1: It is such a pleasure and honor that I interviewed

1225
01:06:40,720 --> 01:06:43,720
Speaker 1: you for your very first book. Do you remember I

1226
01:06:43,720 --> 01:06:47,120
Speaker 1: got an advanced copy of that one back five years ago? Baby?

1227
01:06:47,200 --> 01:06:51,480
Speaker 2: I think it was six six years ago. Yeah, so yeah,

1228
01:06:51,520 --> 01:06:54,000
Speaker 2: we would have met like over six years ago, and

1229
01:06:54,040 --> 01:06:56,240
Speaker 2: I gave you a copy of the book when we

1230
01:06:56,280 --> 01:06:59,840
Speaker 2: first met, when we had lunch at that cafe in Sydney,

1231
01:07:00,440 --> 01:07:03,200
Speaker 2: And yeah, I just I remember meeting you that first

1232
01:07:03,280 --> 01:07:04,960
Speaker 2: day and it was like, oh my god, hi, and

1233
01:07:04,960 --> 01:07:06,800
Speaker 2: we would love you. I love you, I want to

1234
01:07:06,800 --> 01:07:08,760
Speaker 2: be friends with you, and we were like instant friends

1235
01:07:08,800 --> 01:07:10,520
Speaker 2: and I was like, I'm going to be friends with her.

1236
01:07:10,600 --> 01:07:11,280
Speaker 2: I just knew it.

1237
01:07:11,680 --> 01:07:14,440
Speaker 1: And to be back doing it again six years later

1238
01:07:14,600 --> 01:07:17,600
Speaker 1: for the fourth book is just It's been such a

1239
01:07:17,600 --> 01:07:19,919
Speaker 1: privilege to be on the journey with you, and you've

1240
01:07:19,920 --> 01:07:22,640
Speaker 1: obviously had such a big impact on me. So love

1241
01:07:22,640 --> 01:07:24,200
Speaker 1: you loads and thank you so much.

1242
01:07:24,600 --> 01:07:27,560
Speaker 2: Thank you so much for having me, Honey. I love

1243
01:07:27,560 --> 01:07:29,720
Speaker 2: and adore you. You're such a dear friend to me

1244
01:07:30,000 --> 01:07:32,960
Speaker 2: and I'm so proud of you and your incredible book.

1245
01:07:33,040 --> 01:07:36,000
Speaker 2: I read it in a few days and your amazing podcast.

1246
01:07:36,480 --> 01:07:39,680
Speaker 2: I remember when I was in LA and you called

1247
01:07:39,680 --> 01:07:42,280
Speaker 2: me on the beach. I was walking. I was in

1248
01:07:42,320 --> 01:07:44,439
Speaker 2: San Diego. I was walking up and down the beach

1249
01:07:44,480 --> 01:07:46,400
Speaker 2: and you called me and you were like, I'm going

1250
01:07:46,440 --> 01:07:48,080
Speaker 2: to start a podcast. What do I need to do?

1251
01:07:48,120 --> 01:07:50,000
Speaker 2: And I was like, right, okay, you need this, you

1252
01:07:50,040 --> 01:07:52,760
Speaker 2: need this, you need this, and you're fine, and you're

1253
01:07:52,760 --> 01:07:54,880
Speaker 2: like cool, all right, And then a week later you

1254
01:07:54,960 --> 01:07:57,240
Speaker 2: started your podcast. So I'm just so proud of you.

1255
01:07:58,240 --> 01:08:00,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was like, I don't think you're This was

1256
01:08:00,240 --> 01:08:01,960
Speaker 1: the only one i'd listened to. I didn't really even

1257
01:08:02,000 --> 01:08:04,680
Speaker 1: know what podcasts were then, and I was like, I'm

1258
01:08:04,720 --> 01:08:06,560
Speaker 1: just going to give it a try and just see

1259
01:08:06,560 --> 01:08:09,560
Speaker 1: what happens. And you were like one of the very

1260
01:08:09,600 --> 01:08:12,880
Speaker 1: first people to make podcasts cool, Like you started before,

1261
01:08:12,920 --> 01:08:15,360
Speaker 1: honestly before it was a thing here.

1262
01:08:15,400 --> 01:08:18,000
Speaker 2: Really, Yeah, I know, I love it. It's been a

1263
01:08:18,000 --> 01:08:21,000
Speaker 2: couple of years now, and I just I love doing it.

1264
01:08:21,040 --> 01:08:23,519
Speaker 2: I mean, it's the best fun. You get to interview

1265
01:08:23,560 --> 01:08:27,519
Speaker 2: and have amazing, inspiring conversations with epic humans. It's awesome.

1266
01:08:27,960 --> 01:08:30,559
Speaker 1: Well, everyone also jump over and listen to the Melissa

1267
01:08:30,560 --> 01:08:34,680
Speaker 1: Ambrosini Podcast. Some of the guests have been absolutely incredible.

1268
01:08:34,720 --> 01:08:37,280
Speaker 1: You've had pretty much everyone amazing in the world on

1269
01:08:37,360 --> 01:08:42,160
Speaker 1: their sixteen million downloads and counting, so amazing listening material

1270
01:08:42,200 --> 01:08:43,760
Speaker 1: you guys. Head over, I'll pop a link in the

1271
01:08:43,800 --> 01:08:44,320
Speaker 1: show notes.

1272
01:08:44,600 --> 01:08:45,439
Speaker 2: Thank you, my love.

1273
01:08:46,000 --> 01:08:48,160
Speaker 1: Well, I think you can probably see why mel has

1274
01:08:48,200 --> 01:08:51,280
Speaker 1: propelled onto the global stage with her knack for simplifying

1275
01:08:51,320 --> 01:08:54,400
Speaker 1: our most complicated human tendencies and helping us all build

1276
01:08:54,439 --> 01:08:57,880
Speaker 1: lives that work best for us. Comparison Itis is the

1277
01:08:57,880 --> 01:09:00,920
Speaker 1: circuit breaker we all need to stop comparison and negative

1278
01:09:00,960 --> 01:09:04,040
Speaker 1: self talk in its tracks and I'll pop a link

1279
01:09:04,080 --> 01:09:06,280
Speaker 1: in the show notes so you can grab your copy.

1280
01:09:07,040 --> 01:09:09,280
Speaker 1: I'd love you to do what the neighborhood does best

1281
01:09:09,360 --> 01:09:12,639
Speaker 1: and shower Melt with love for sharing so generously today

1282
01:09:12,720 --> 01:09:15,519
Speaker 1: by sharing this episode along with any takeaways you had

1283
01:09:15,560 --> 01:09:19,599
Speaker 1: and tagging out Melissa Ambrosini and myself. And if you've

1284
01:09:19,640 --> 01:09:21,200
Speaker 1: listened all the way to the end, you will know

1285
01:09:21,240 --> 01:09:22,960
Speaker 1: that I'll be picking a few of you this week

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Speaker 1: to win a copy of her book. So please get sharing,

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Speaker 1: lovely people, And if you haven't subscribed or left a review,

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Speaker 1: do take a few seconds of your time to help

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Speaker 1: us keep spreading the Yea as far and wide as possible.

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Speaker 1: I can't say how much it helps us keep growing

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Speaker 1: the show and of course keep it as an independent production.

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Speaker 1: It really means so much. Hope you're having a wonderful

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Speaker 1: week and are seizing your ya