WEBVTT - The Question We're Asking Ourselves In Our Mid Year Slump 0:00:10.327 --> 0:00:13.047 You're listening to a MoMA Mia podcast. 0:00:13.727 --> 0:00:16.767 Mama Mea acknowledges the traditional owners of land and waters 0:00:16.807 --> 0:00:22.967 that this podcast is recorded on Hello and welcome to 0:00:23.047 --> 0:00:25.967 Mamma Mia out Loud and to our Friday show, which 0:00:26.007 --> 0:00:27.687 is where we take a break from the. 0:00:27.647 --> 0:00:30.087 News cycle and we breathe oouch. 0:00:30.687 --> 0:00:33.967 Especially today as you're about to find her why. Today 0:00:34.167 --> 0:00:36.767 is Friday, the twelfth of July, and my name is 0:00:36.807 --> 0:00:37.727 Holly Wainwright. 0:00:38.007 --> 0:00:41.327 I'm Maya Friedman and I'm Jesse Stevens and out louders. 0:00:41.367 --> 0:00:43.447 If you are listening to this episode and whatever app 0:00:43.607 --> 0:00:45.567 click follow. There are a lot of you who do 0:00:45.647 --> 0:00:48.407 not currently follow this podcast. If you do, will automatically 0:00:48.407 --> 0:00:48.767 come up. 0:00:49.047 --> 0:00:54.767 Imagine that podcast work. God, you're weird, but apparently this 0:00:54.807 --> 0:00:57.287 is a thing on a lot of podcasts people don't follow. 0:00:57.327 --> 0:00:58.007 I know they don't. 0:00:58.087 --> 0:01:02.247 There was another way that's wow, goodness on the show today? 0:01:02.767 --> 0:01:06.887 Are you feeling run down, tired, trying to sell me 0:01:06.887 --> 0:01:11.367 a drug? You're hanging on your last nerve and you 0:01:11.447 --> 0:01:13.647 might just cut a bitch if one more person asked 0:01:13.687 --> 0:01:14.367 you for something. 0:01:14.487 --> 0:01:15.887 He totally's describing herself. 0:01:16.207 --> 0:01:19.687 Mess is a diary in print that my friends is 0:01:19.687 --> 0:01:23.247 called the Midyear means we're calling it plus three things 0:01:23.247 --> 0:01:25.807 to watch over the weekend, including a very irritating but 0:01:25.927 --> 0:01:29.367 hypnotic walk down Memory Lane, an international game show, and 0:01:29.407 --> 0:01:32.167 a docco that comes with a million little wriggly sperm 0:01:32.687 --> 0:01:36.287 and a recipe. Even these idiots could make a brain 0:01:36.327 --> 0:01:38.687 with holes in it, and Jesse went out out again. 0:01:39.407 --> 0:01:41.047 That's our best of worst of the week. 0:01:41.967 --> 0:01:45.607 But first, Jesse Stevens, In case you missed it, the 0:01:45.647 --> 0:01:49.127 first movie written entirely by AI has been released, and 0:01:49.167 --> 0:01:51.687 no one wants you to say it. The Last Screenwriter 0:01:51.927 --> 0:01:54.807 is all about a writer who discovers an AI system 0:01:54.927 --> 0:01:57.247 that is way better at his job than he is 0:01:57.847 --> 0:02:01.447 and triggered. It was written in real life after chat 0:02:01.487 --> 0:02:05.607 GPT four was fed a seventeen word prompt. It took 0:02:05.727 --> 0:02:08.327 chat gpt four days to write this script. 0:02:09.407 --> 0:02:11.527 A long time. I thought the same for a machine. 0:02:11.567 --> 0:02:12.807 I thought you thought it was going to be like 0:02:12.807 --> 0:02:13.607 four seconds, me. 0:02:13.567 --> 0:02:15.047 Too, But it took up four days. 0:02:15.207 --> 0:02:17.607 My screenwriting friends, of which I have you both here 0:02:17.607 --> 0:02:19.927 well Jesse in particular, how long would it take a 0:02:19.967 --> 0:02:20.967 person to write a movie. 0:02:21.927 --> 0:02:22.527 It's a lot of. 0:02:22.487 --> 0:02:25.807 Pages, yeahbuble years, So four days is quiet, and so 0:02:25.847 --> 0:02:29.047 many drafts and a lot of drafts. Although this was 0:02:29.087 --> 0:02:31.407 not perfect, and the director knew it wasn't. The director 0:02:31.487 --> 0:02:35.407 is named Peter Luisi, and he decided to create exactly 0:02:35.447 --> 0:02:37.287 what was on the page, even though parts of it 0:02:37.367 --> 0:02:40.647 were repetitive and strange and kind of defied human logic. 0:02:40.727 --> 0:02:41.767 So he was trying to prove a point. 0:02:41.807 --> 0:02:42.807 That's trying to prove a point. 0:02:42.967 --> 0:02:46.447 He had real actors, real lighting, real sound design, and 0:02:46.487 --> 0:02:50.007 he made this movie. A cinema in London has canceled 0:02:50.007 --> 0:02:53.007 its world premiere after hundreds and hundreds of complaints. You'll 0:02:53.047 --> 0:02:56.407 recall that this was a subject of the Big Writers Strike. 0:02:56.967 --> 0:02:59.767 Writers are very scared that AI is taking their jobs. 0:02:59.927 --> 0:03:03.807 May or would you say it? No, I would be 0:03:03.967 --> 0:03:04.727 very interested. 0:03:05.487 --> 0:03:07.407 I don't have time to see the actual movies that 0:03:07.447 --> 0:03:09.367 are written by people that I want to see. 0:03:09.647 --> 0:03:11.247 Yeah, that's the thing I get. 0:03:11.127 --> 0:03:13.527 Alone, something that's proving to me that it's shit. I mean, 0:03:13.567 --> 0:03:15.007 I'd like you to see it and then just tell 0:03:15.047 --> 0:03:16.247 me about it briefly on the show. 0:03:16.727 --> 0:03:20.087 So, as the British culture writer Marina Hyde said, when 0:03:20.127 --> 0:03:23.527 I heard her talking about this, she was like, repetitive 0:03:23.607 --> 0:03:25.727 doesn't make a lot of sense. How several false endings 0:03:25.767 --> 0:03:27.727 sounds like nearly every action movie I've seen in the 0:03:27.767 --> 0:03:31.287 last ten years, which a is true, but also maybe 0:03:31.327 --> 0:03:33.727 the writer was trying to prove a point. But also 0:03:34.647 --> 0:03:37.647 the fact that everybody is so freaked out they won't 0:03:37.687 --> 0:03:40.167 look at it is being called out as exactly the 0:03:40.207 --> 0:03:43.287 problem that if AI is really coming for all these 0:03:43.327 --> 0:03:47.407 creative industries, and you know, looks almost inevitable that it is, 0:03:48.807 --> 0:03:51.047 at some point we've got to like reckon with it 0:03:51.127 --> 0:03:53.927 and look it in the face. But instead everybody's going no, 0:03:54.087 --> 0:03:56.567 don't engage, don't look, don't put the movie on, Let's 0:03:56.607 --> 0:03:57.287 not watch the movie. 0:03:57.327 --> 0:03:59.287 It'll go away. It'll go away. Maybe if we hide 0:03:59.287 --> 0:04:00.167 from it, it'll go away. 0:04:00.567 --> 0:04:01.447 Problem is not good. 0:04:01.767 --> 0:04:04.567 But at the same time, I think that humanity is 0:04:04.607 --> 0:04:07.807 at a crossroads, and if we're going I refuse to 0:04:08.087 --> 0:04:12.207 consume art made by something that is not human, then 0:04:12.287 --> 0:04:13.967 that could change the course of history. 0:04:14.007 --> 0:04:16.727 I think going in too blindly crossroads, too. 0:04:16.767 --> 0:04:20.407 Tired, bad luck, it's coming for you. It's coming. 0:04:21.007 --> 0:04:23.487 You won't mind when it takes your job. You'll put 0:04:23.487 --> 0:04:24.567 your fader, can have a rest. 0:04:24.647 --> 0:04:27.527 You'll be like, here's my JD. You do please. 0:04:29.127 --> 0:04:30.007 Sam has been. 0:04:29.887 --> 0:04:32.847 Having a rolling intervention with me this week for being grumpy, 0:04:34.567 --> 0:04:35.407 and look, it's. 0:04:35.247 --> 0:04:39.807 True why I just haven't taken the bait like she's 0:04:39.887 --> 0:04:42.167 just been. And I know that I'm sometimes crabby, and 0:04:42.207 --> 0:04:45.087 I know that the two of you probably glance at 0:04:45.127 --> 0:04:48.047 each other and just go, she's being a cranky bitch again. 0:04:48.327 --> 0:04:49.927 And Hole's been going through all of those things, and 0:04:49.927 --> 0:04:50.887 I've just empathized. 0:04:51.047 --> 0:04:55.367 I've just been like, which is weird because neither of 0:04:55.407 --> 0:05:00.927 you hormonally are operating as you once did, so it 0:05:00.967 --> 0:05:02.647 can't be PMS. 0:05:02.767 --> 0:05:04.247 Right, might be. 0:05:07.447 --> 0:05:07.887 A bit. 0:05:10.607 --> 0:05:13.847 Once did. I love that description about Helleen. 0:05:14.567 --> 0:05:17.087 Anyway, it's true, and today I worked out why because 0:05:17.087 --> 0:05:18.887 I read a story that made perfect sense to me. 0:05:18.887 --> 0:05:21.287 And I need to make some addendums as well. It's 0:05:21.287 --> 0:05:23.087 true that, yes, I have a headache. 0:05:25.167 --> 0:05:26.687 And everyone's irritating you. 0:05:27.127 --> 0:05:28.607 I've been working on my book Reen Rights. 0:05:28.687 --> 0:05:31.927 Yes things have been busy lately. But also it's. 0:05:31.767 --> 0:05:33.847 Not about me. It's about all of us. It's about 0:05:33.847 --> 0:05:34.647 all of us together. 0:05:35.167 --> 0:05:38.007 And the mid year slump, also known i've decided as 0:05:38.007 --> 0:05:41.247 the mid mean as fuck mid year slump. Here are 0:05:41.247 --> 0:05:42.687 two things I need to tell you about it. Because 0:05:42.687 --> 0:05:44.527 I read an article in the Herald about the mid 0:05:44.567 --> 0:05:46.647 year slump. It's definitely a thing. The article is by 0:05:46.727 --> 0:05:51.127 Nell Gretz. Apparently, burnout obviously can occur all year round, 0:05:51.167 --> 0:05:54.607 we all know that, but in Australia it's particularly likely 0:05:54.647 --> 0:05:58.247 to happen right now because it is winter. We're susceptible 0:05:58.287 --> 0:06:00.367 to it mid year since it coincides with colder weather 0:06:00.407 --> 0:06:03.247 a minimal daylight. Yes, we know that, and also coincides 0:06:03.287 --> 0:06:07.007 with all these fuckers on Instagram showing us of them 0:06:07.367 --> 0:06:09.727 having a lovely thing in their euros. I'm like, you know, 0:06:09.767 --> 0:06:13.087 what's not a thing? When you live in the Northern Hemisphere, 0:06:13.647 --> 0:06:16.367 nobody talks about like the Southern Hemisphere summer. 0:06:16.407 --> 0:06:19.287 Nobody talks about that. It's not a thing. Like it's weird. 0:06:19.567 --> 0:06:22.607 It feels very the haves and have nots in Australia 0:06:22.647 --> 0:06:24.247 this time of year, because there are people I know 0:06:24.327 --> 0:06:26.287 that appear to do it and when I say no, 0:06:26.447 --> 0:06:28.887 I mean follow on Instagram do it every year and 0:06:29.007 --> 0:06:32.047 it just feels like a personal attack. Well, I came 0:06:32.127 --> 0:06:34.087 home and my sister stayed for another two weeks, and 0:06:34.087 --> 0:06:36.087 now I wasn't happy those two weeks they. 0:06:36.047 --> 0:06:38.007 Ever have that I just look at it and just 0:06:38.087 --> 0:06:41.927 it's like looking watching an animal documentary or something, you know, 0:06:42.047 --> 0:06:45.207 like I don't go I hate them. I wish I 0:06:45.327 --> 0:06:47.847 was there, maybe because I don't like holidays that much. 0:06:48.047 --> 0:06:50.287 Yeah, I think there's a bit of resentment too. When 0:06:50.327 --> 0:06:53.447 I interrogate my resentment towards my sister, someone's picking up 0:06:53.447 --> 0:06:56.687 the work. When there's a mass exodus to Europe, you'll 0:06:56.727 --> 0:06:59.927 find that workplaces get particularly tense because there's a lot 0:06:59.927 --> 0:07:02.087 of leave happening seemingly at the same time, and the 0:07:02.127 --> 0:07:06.007 people left behind not only aren't in Mayorca, they are 0:07:06.087 --> 0:07:07.727 also working longer hours. 0:07:07.727 --> 0:07:10.287 Well, it's a bit of escapism. Does it make you cranky? 0:07:10.447 --> 0:07:11.327 I mean everything does? 0:07:13.207 --> 0:07:13.607 It does? 0:07:13.727 --> 0:07:16.367 And also there's another bit to this. 0:07:17.807 --> 0:07:18.127 Also. 0:07:18.167 --> 0:07:21.607 Another reason why this month is particularly stressful, according to 0:07:21.687 --> 0:07:23.687 this article in The Herald, is that there's the stress 0:07:23.727 --> 0:07:26.447 of the end of financial year. Others may be frustrated. 0:07:26.447 --> 0:07:28.647 And we're going to get into this now that new 0:07:28.727 --> 0:07:31.567 year's resolutions or business plans are not coming to fruition 0:07:31.647 --> 0:07:32.407 as quickly as. 0:07:32.287 --> 0:07:32.887 They had hoped. 0:07:33.927 --> 0:07:37.367 We are almost exactly halfway through the year right now, 0:07:37.847 --> 0:07:40.207 which seems as good a time as any for us 0:07:40.287 --> 0:07:42.487 to consider whether this might be part of also what's 0:07:42.527 --> 0:07:45.127 giving us the mid year means, and that is that 0:07:45.167 --> 0:07:47.887 we are not living up to our hopes and dreams, 0:07:48.167 --> 0:07:50.527 and specifically, for out Louders, that means our words of 0:07:50.567 --> 0:07:53.407 the year. Everybody who listens to out loud regularly knows 0:07:53.407 --> 0:07:55.607 that on January the first, we always drop an episode 0:07:55.607 --> 0:07:57.367 and we always invite all the out louders to join 0:07:57.407 --> 0:08:00.767 in where we get very serious and we look deep 0:08:00.807 --> 0:08:03.607 inside ourselves to choose a word that's going to define 0:08:03.647 --> 0:08:04.407 our year ahead. 0:08:04.847 --> 0:08:06.807 Mere freedom. What was that word that you thought so 0:08:06.887 --> 0:08:14.287 hard about? I literally not only do like it does 0:08:14.447 --> 0:08:16.247 not only can I not remember the world, It doesn't 0:08:16.247 --> 0:08:21.367 even ring a bell, like not even a fate. 0:08:21.367 --> 0:08:24.447 Was something I do because I remember that mine was 0:08:24.527 --> 0:08:26.767 kindness and I wanted to be kind but I was different. 0:08:26.847 --> 0:08:29.207 Rember was like years ago. 0:08:29.327 --> 0:08:31.127 I remember, Create was one. 0:08:31.247 --> 0:08:35.567 Create was one when you got knocked out, It was 0:08:35.647 --> 0:08:36.127 juice one. 0:08:36.207 --> 0:08:39.647 This one was something about being nicely me. 0:08:40.447 --> 0:08:45.087 It was grace Fuck me. 0:08:46.487 --> 0:08:49.127 Look out Louders, I don't want everybody at this point 0:08:49.167 --> 0:08:50.927 in the podcast to throw their phone in the sea 0:08:50.967 --> 0:08:52.847 and say, what's even the point of these bitches? If 0:08:52.847 --> 0:08:54.447 they make us all said a word at the beginning 0:08:54.487 --> 0:08:56.327 of the year and then they can't even remember what 0:08:56.367 --> 0:08:58.447 it is. But I think this is a useful illustration, 0:08:58.527 --> 0:09:01.727 a useful check in, a useful coming together holding hands 0:09:02.127 --> 0:09:04.967 time for us to remember why we felt we needed 0:09:04.967 --> 0:09:07.847 that word and in what ways have we lived up 0:09:07.847 --> 0:09:10.687 to it or not? Freedman, can you remember why you 0:09:10.807 --> 0:09:11.367 chose grace? 0:09:11.447 --> 0:09:16.007 I think as I was having a nervous break which 0:09:16.127 --> 0:09:18.207 kind of rolled on until about March or. 0:09:18.167 --> 0:09:20.607 April, we always do our word of the year, and 0:09:20.687 --> 0:09:22.567 we often go look at us, we've all chosen something 0:09:22.607 --> 0:09:27.207 similar because you choose kindness, you teach grace and Jesse community. 0:09:28.487 --> 0:09:29.847 What's wrong with my word? 0:09:30.407 --> 0:09:31.007 I've been. 0:09:32.927 --> 0:09:37.967 To me that's kindness is what he is? What kindness is? 0:09:38.167 --> 0:09:39.847 All right? Come on, Jesse, how do you feel it? 0:09:39.887 --> 0:09:42.647 Going on? Kindness? Also? How do we measure kindness? 0:09:43.407 --> 0:09:46.527 Doing kind ship? And I just feel like, do you think. 0:09:46.407 --> 0:09:48.647 Did I choose kind in that particular sit Yeah? 0:09:48.727 --> 0:09:51.927 And there's been clear moments even in the last few months, 0:09:52.047 --> 0:09:54.127 where I've been like what do I do and like 0:09:54.167 --> 0:09:55.167 trying to make a decision. 0:09:55.287 --> 0:09:58.047 You have not chosen kind, chosen violence. 0:09:58.047 --> 0:10:00.207 I didn't even have that word in my head as 0:10:00.247 --> 0:10:02.967 a guiding thing, and I sought help from Grace over here, 0:10:03.367 --> 0:10:05.807 and I'll tell you, Grace was not great great. 0:10:05.727 --> 0:10:08.207 Grace that was not coming to the phone because she's dead. 0:10:08.887 --> 0:10:11.047 Now I've remembered that yours is grace mere. 0:10:11.167 --> 0:10:13.047 Every time you going off with me about something in 0:10:13.087 --> 0:10:14.647 the group chat, I'm just going to go. 0:10:14.727 --> 0:10:15.887 Grace, not I don't mean money. 0:10:15.927 --> 0:10:17.167 And when I say going off at me, I don't 0:10:17.167 --> 0:10:19.007 mean you're going off at me, like attacking me. 0:10:19.007 --> 0:10:21.807 But like getting upset about something. I think that I 0:10:21.847 --> 0:10:26.447 have shown remarkable grace in the face of your So 0:10:26.927 --> 0:10:29.407 I'm living my word. What was your word, hollywaen right? 0:10:29.527 --> 0:10:35.207 It was community and I am not living it to 0:10:35.287 --> 0:10:37.327 be proud of your community through a granky bitch. 0:10:39.367 --> 0:10:43.407 But also I was literally driving today and thinking the 0:10:43.447 --> 0:10:47.967 reason I chose that, The reason I chose that was 0:10:48.087 --> 0:10:51.967 because I wanted to be more outward looking, less inward looking. 0:10:52.087 --> 0:10:56.607 I wanted to help build bridges. I do do that. 0:10:56.607 --> 0:10:57.727 That's true, that's community. 0:10:57.767 --> 0:11:00.087 I wanted to build community in my new home, in 0:11:00.127 --> 0:11:02.807 my new town. Look all that to a point, But 0:11:02.967 --> 0:11:06.727 to be really honest, the thing that happens often when 0:11:06.767 --> 0:11:09.607 you're you know, busy, busy, busy is It's all about you, right, 0:11:09.687 --> 0:11:12.447 And it's been all about me for all the first 0:11:12.487 --> 0:11:16.407 half of the year. I have been, you know, like, oh, 0:11:16.447 --> 0:11:18.767 here's the thing I'm doing. I'm going on tour, I'm 0:11:18.767 --> 0:11:20.367 writing the book of me, Me, Me, Me Me, and 0:11:20.407 --> 0:11:23.727 it's not I've got to find I'm going to try 0:11:23.767 --> 0:11:25.567 really hard in the next half of the year to 0:11:25.647 --> 0:11:28.007 find more pockets of my life. 0:11:28.047 --> 0:11:29.207 I mean, obviously there are. 0:11:29.087 --> 0:11:31.047 Parts of my life that are about my children and 0:11:31.087 --> 0:11:33.447 my dog and my family and my workmates. But I 0:11:33.487 --> 0:11:35.407 want to find pockets of this year when I can 0:11:35.527 --> 0:11:37.727 find some space to do what I set out to do. 0:11:37.767 --> 0:11:38.887 Otherwise I'm going to get to the end of the 0:11:38.967 --> 0:11:40.407 year and feel like the worst person. 0:11:40.127 --> 0:11:40.687 In the world. 0:11:40.847 --> 0:11:44.607 I know, so am I I feel like kindness requires 0:11:45.327 --> 0:11:48.047 energy of which I don't have a great deal at 0:11:48.047 --> 0:11:50.767 the moment. Like choosing the kind thing is often like 0:11:50.847 --> 0:11:53.447 take a deep breath and exert yourself slightly. 0:11:53.567 --> 0:11:55.247 It also requires a bit more time. 0:11:55.767 --> 0:11:58.407 Yeah, it does, it does, and it's really easy to go. 0:11:58.767 --> 0:12:00.927 I'll watch someone recently that I know and we had 0:12:01.047 --> 0:12:04.607 mutual acquaintance, who had a terrible health scare and I 0:12:04.727 --> 0:12:08.607 was speaking to her and she said, oh, so when 0:12:08.607 --> 0:12:10.727 I dropped off, I made sure that I cleaned her house, 0:12:10.767 --> 0:12:12.967 and and like she wasn't trying to perform that, she 0:12:13.047 --> 0:12:13.567 was just saying it. 0:12:13.567 --> 0:12:15.687 And I was like, holy shit, Like that almost. 0:12:15.447 --> 0:12:18.207 Wouldn't even cross my mind, because I'm such a piece 0:12:18.207 --> 0:12:18.767 of ship that. 0:12:18.727 --> 0:12:22.087 I think I've been quite kind this year. All right, 0:12:22.127 --> 0:12:23.247 give us an examples. 0:12:24.127 --> 0:12:28.207 I feel like that's not great, so continue, Please tell 0:12:28.287 --> 0:12:29.887 us about that I've been kind. 0:12:30.247 --> 0:12:32.247 I mean, I thinkately quite kind. 0:12:32.607 --> 0:12:35.447 You are, But give me an example where you chose you. 0:12:35.527 --> 0:12:40.607 It's not my word, but I think I've been kind 0:12:42.007 --> 0:12:46.287 to family. Family. Give me an example. 0:12:47.367 --> 0:12:50.367 When we went away, Miya like made a photo album 0:12:50.567 --> 0:12:52.967 for Luna that made her holiday. It meant that every 0:12:52.967 --> 0:12:54.567 time we sat down to eat, Luna just looked through 0:12:54.567 --> 0:12:55.207 her photo album. 0:12:55.207 --> 0:12:56.767 That made her so so happy. 0:12:57.007 --> 0:13:00.167 You've got incredible first birthday presents to the very spoiled 0:13:00.167 --> 0:13:00.607 little ground. 0:13:00.647 --> 0:13:01.807 Please tell me about. 0:13:01.527 --> 0:13:04.287 That every now and then you'll just fill our fridge. 0:13:04.767 --> 0:13:09.767 Trickerry's the other you know, on on a his first 0:13:09.767 --> 0:13:11.607 birthday just turned up to our door just a whole 0:13:11.607 --> 0:13:13.647 lot of ice cream to just say, like, congratulations on that. 0:13:13.767 --> 0:13:15.287 That's very thought. It is true. 0:13:15.287 --> 0:13:20.487 She is mere Friedman is very very good at ther HT. 0:13:21.047 --> 0:13:26.447 So here's the story, your word, I'm here's a story 0:13:26.887 --> 0:13:29.007 for you about mea Friedman. Is that when I was 0:13:29.007 --> 0:13:30.807 feeling really poorly and she was worried that it was 0:13:30.847 --> 0:13:34.807 my hormones, she managed to track down the hormone stuff 0:13:34.807 --> 0:13:36.527 that had that I couldn't get my hands on because 0:13:36.527 --> 0:13:37.407 I live in the country. 0:13:37.487 --> 0:13:38.007 This is great. 0:13:38.007 --> 0:13:40.647 I'm enjoying the show. Okay, so you have been quite kind. 0:13:41.047 --> 0:13:43.687 Yeah, X do you think Here's the thing about midyear 0:13:43.727 --> 0:13:46.127 slumps and you know, end of year burnout and all 0:13:46.167 --> 0:13:49.607 that stuff, is do we ever recognize patterns when we're 0:13:49.647 --> 0:13:52.087 in them? You know how very often you'll go, oh, 0:13:52.127 --> 0:13:54.727 that's right, you know. And this is where you read 0:13:54.807 --> 0:13:56.647 articles like this and you're like, of course, everyone gets 0:13:56.647 --> 0:13:58.927 to the middle of the year and they're sort of assessing. 0:13:59.727 --> 0:14:01.407 The first thing everyone it says, right at this time 0:14:01.407 --> 0:14:02.967 of the year is can you believe it's July already? 0:14:02.967 --> 0:14:04.047 Can you believe it July already? 0:14:04.087 --> 0:14:04.967 That's what everybody says. 0:14:05.567 --> 0:14:08.647 And then everybody gets a bit panicky because you feel 0:14:08.647 --> 0:14:11.167 like time is rushing past and it's harder than ever. 0:14:11.367 --> 0:14:13.887 It feels like to sort of grab it and hold. 0:14:13.647 --> 0:14:16.007 On to it, and we're like, oh, and then we 0:14:16.247 --> 0:14:18.007 read an article at this and we go, oh, yeah, 0:14:18.127 --> 0:14:20.207 I always feel like this at this time of year. 0:14:20.407 --> 0:14:22.967 But do we ever recognize those kind of patterns when 0:14:22.967 --> 0:14:23.967 they're actually in motion. 0:14:25.207 --> 0:14:28.407 I don't think we do, or at least I know 0:14:28.527 --> 0:14:30.487 I don't. I feel like you're at your spot on 0:14:30.607 --> 0:14:34.007 with the busyness, and then the overarching value or the 0:14:34.047 --> 0:14:37.727 overarching goal of this year gets completely lost because you 0:14:37.767 --> 0:14:41.007 get stuck in the minutia of your every day. And 0:14:41.047 --> 0:14:43.127 I think that when it is family, like I just 0:14:43.207 --> 0:14:46.247 keep having this thing when my cousin Simon talk about 0:14:46.287 --> 0:14:47.607 him a lot. He calls me every night and we 0:14:47.727 --> 0:14:49.287 used talk at eight o'clock every single night. 0:14:49.367 --> 0:14:49.927 That was our thing. 0:14:50.047 --> 0:14:53.247 And he has disability, and it like I just know 0:14:53.407 --> 0:14:54.447 how happy that makes him. 0:14:54.887 --> 0:14:57.727 And sometimes like that's Luna's just gone down and it's 0:14:57.767 --> 0:14:58.407 been a really. 0:14:58.247 --> 0:15:00.847 Big day and I don't call him back, and I 0:15:00.887 --> 0:15:02.887 get kind, well, it's kind if I speak to him. 0:15:03.047 --> 0:15:04.607 No, But I mean, if you just don't call him 0:15:04.647 --> 0:15:05.127 back as. 0:15:05.007 --> 0:15:07.167 You chose, That's what I mean is it's just me 0:15:07.447 --> 0:15:09.567 failing at my word, and I get into bed and 0:15:09.607 --> 0:15:12.287 I go I am just riddled with guilt. 0:15:12.287 --> 0:15:14.207 I just feel so so awful that I haven't been 0:15:14.247 --> 0:15:16.567 able to do that. I haven't called my pop, I 0:15:16.607 --> 0:15:17.247 haven't like. 0:15:17.607 --> 0:15:20.927 And it's just sees things that would like. Yeah, it's 0:15:21.007 --> 0:15:22.807 just an extra thing that can. 0:15:22.687 --> 0:15:23.887 Sometimes feel like a job. 0:15:23.927 --> 0:15:25.647 And that's not what our word is supposed to be, 0:15:25.767 --> 0:15:27.647 is it, me, a freedman, It's not supposed to be 0:15:27.687 --> 0:15:29.167 a stick to beat ourselves with, is it. 0:15:29.407 --> 0:15:31.807 It is a little bit in terms of it's meant 0:15:31.847 --> 0:15:34.167 to be not a stick to beat ourselves with, but 0:15:34.207 --> 0:15:35.887 it's meant to be a bit of a north star 0:15:36.087 --> 0:15:38.767 or a guiding light. I think you chose the wrong 0:15:38.887 --> 0:15:43.207 year to have this as your word, because what the 0:15:43.247 --> 0:15:47.887 first year of parenthood does is crunch your time like 0:15:47.927 --> 0:15:52.367 you've never experienced and your energy, and as you rightly predicted, 0:15:52.527 --> 0:15:59.967 kindness and community both require time and energy, and so 0:16:00.127 --> 0:16:04.287 I think you almost inadvertently set yourself up to fail 0:16:04.367 --> 0:16:04.927 with your word. 0:16:05.327 --> 0:16:06.567 Yeah, why don't you tell me that? 0:16:06.727 --> 0:16:08.767 I didn't think about it at the time, but it's like, 0:16:09.367 --> 0:16:12.767 I completely understand why, because so much of being a 0:16:12.807 --> 0:16:16.127 parent is about being selfless. So kindness is about being 0:16:16.247 --> 0:16:19.927 and never will you learn about selflessness more in an 0:16:19.967 --> 0:16:23.407 abrupt way than when you become a parent. And so 0:16:23.527 --> 0:16:27.207 I think you are already being so challenged on that front, 0:16:27.287 --> 0:16:30.247 and you probably you know that takes a lot of adjustment. 0:16:30.087 --> 0:16:30.287 You know. 0:16:30.367 --> 0:16:32.007 It's the exact same pattern that I've had since I 0:16:32.047 --> 0:16:34.727 started this podcast, like seven years ago or whenever it was, 0:16:34.807 --> 0:16:37.607 which is I'm always year behind. So my word last 0:16:37.687 --> 0:16:39.927 year was family. I feel like I'm actually nailing that. 0:16:40.127 --> 0:16:43.287 I feel like I'm really good, got like from my 0:16:43.407 --> 0:16:46.807 time with Learner to my parents really investing in all 0:16:46.807 --> 0:16:48.607 of that. I feel as though that's coming to fruition 0:16:49.087 --> 0:16:50.007 maybe next year. 0:16:50.527 --> 0:16:53.687 Yeah, I agree, I think that you always but that 0:16:53.807 --> 0:16:55.527 also makes sense a little bit with the word of 0:16:55.567 --> 0:16:58.047 the year, because we're often and you'd already been a 0:16:58.087 --> 0:17:00.247 parent for six months when you chose this word. So 0:17:00.327 --> 0:17:05.167 I think it's often about where we feel that we 0:17:05.207 --> 0:17:08.527 want to focus because we're lacking. Yeah, So I think 0:17:08.567 --> 0:17:11.007 that that's really interesting. And for me, I think I 0:17:11.047 --> 0:17:14.967 also chose grace because there was absolutely none of it, 0:17:15.087 --> 0:17:17.607 none of it towards myself, none of it in my life. 0:17:17.687 --> 0:17:23.847 I felt shitty anguished, upset, losing my mind, and so 0:17:24.007 --> 0:17:27.367 grace felt like this tranquil thing because in the beginning 0:17:27.407 --> 0:17:29.967 of the year, even though we say these words aren't resolutions, 0:17:30.887 --> 0:17:33.207 there's still a sense of optimism and hope at the 0:17:33.207 --> 0:17:35.927 beginning of the year that I've got a fresh blank page, 0:17:36.567 --> 0:17:41.247 I'm gonna set my intention. And that's why I think 0:17:41.287 --> 0:17:45.287 that the mid year is so bereft of hope, because 0:17:45.327 --> 0:17:48.207 there's no optimism by midyear, because all you're confronted with 0:17:48.607 --> 0:17:50.607 is all the ways in which your intentions at the 0:17:50.647 --> 0:17:53.327 beginning of the year have not come to fruition. And 0:17:53.367 --> 0:17:55.807 you're too far away from January, where you feel hopeful 0:17:55.807 --> 0:17:58.727 and optimistic. But then December and Christmas and maybe a 0:17:59.287 --> 0:18:03.447 virtual kind of finish line about summer and holidays, hopefully 0:18:03.447 --> 0:18:06.847 in Christmas feels impossibly far away. So you're just in 0:18:06.847 --> 0:18:08.247 this existential despair. 0:18:08.767 --> 0:18:10.607 I'm going to write down my word and put above 0:18:10.607 --> 0:18:12.767 my desk so I remember it more, I think about 0:18:12.767 --> 0:18:13.087 it more. 0:18:13.567 --> 0:18:15.287 I don't know. I just think it's going to make 0:18:15.287 --> 0:18:16.727 you feel bad because I just don't think you have 0:18:16.767 --> 0:18:18.687 time to be kind at the moment, Like I really don't. 0:18:18.807 --> 0:18:20.327 I think you should go back to the last two weeks. 0:18:20.367 --> 0:18:23.167 I think you are kind, Like I get your point 0:18:23.207 --> 0:18:25.247 about like if you're not when you don't make the 0:18:25.327 --> 0:18:28.167 kind choice about something very tangible like calling Simon back 0:18:28.767 --> 0:18:32.087 me as one hundred percent right, you are touched out, 0:18:32.167 --> 0:18:36.207 spent out. You've given everything at that point. But in general, 0:18:36.367 --> 0:18:38.847 it's not like I'm seeing you walking around the world 0:18:39.007 --> 0:18:41.207 like making unkind choices. 0:18:41.247 --> 0:18:43.407 I don't spit on people that would take more energy 0:18:43.447 --> 0:18:44.527 than I'm not spitting on them. 0:18:44.567 --> 0:18:45.727 So I finally, no, I. 0:18:45.687 --> 0:18:48.207 See you being kind to the people around you. I 0:18:48.247 --> 0:18:50.567 see you being a very excellent mother. I see you 0:18:50.607 --> 0:18:53.847 make like I don't. I think you might be being harsh, 0:18:54.007 --> 0:18:56.687 but there certainly isn't any question about whether or not 0:18:56.727 --> 0:18:59.367 I'm failing it anyway out a loud as we want 0:18:59.407 --> 0:19:01.887 to hear about you. Tell us about you and your 0:19:01.927 --> 0:19:03.887 words of the year. We had them all in our 0:19:03.967 --> 0:19:06.767 show in January. We would love you to jump in 0:19:06.807 --> 0:19:09.327 the Facebook group and tell us how you're going with it. 0:19:09.487 --> 0:19:11.687 Are you allowed at this time if you're in a media 0:19:12.087 --> 0:19:14.567 slump it half a year left. 0:19:14.687 --> 0:19:17.407 We have talked about this as much. I thought maybe 0:19:17.247 --> 0:19:20.007 one year we did. I think I might have just 0:19:20.207 --> 0:19:22.007 yeah said, I'm having a different. 0:19:22.007 --> 0:19:24.447 I want out louder I reckon that you're allowed to change. 0:19:24.447 --> 0:19:27.247 My word needs to be remember it really. 0:19:27.007 --> 0:19:27.847 Does a memory. 0:19:27.847 --> 0:19:28.367 You shock. 0:19:28.447 --> 0:19:30.287 Get in the out Louders Facebook group and tell us 0:19:30.287 --> 0:19:33.127 how you're going or if you've chosen your word. 0:19:37.167 --> 0:19:39.727 It's Friday, so we want to help set up your 0:19:39.727 --> 0:19:42.167 weekend with our best recommendations. And we're going to tell 0:19:42.207 --> 0:19:45.807 you about two things that we recommend and one thing 0:19:45.847 --> 0:19:48.807 that we tried that we want to save you from 0:19:48.847 --> 0:19:53.047 having to try as well. Jesse, why don't you go first. 0:19:53.687 --> 0:19:56.847 It's time for me to recommend Taskmaster for those who. 0:19:56.727 --> 0:19:59.687 Take joy from seeing comedians humiliating themselves. 0:19:59.807 --> 0:20:01.567 Good news. That's kind of our whole day. 0:20:01.567 --> 0:20:10.287 El Australia's most delete comedic minds coming out in a 0:20:10.327 --> 0:20:14.407 series of incredibly important tasks, such as. 0:20:15.807 --> 0:20:20.367 Think the bowling ball you cannot get wet the fastest wins. 0:20:20.727 --> 0:20:24.087 I've been watching it app it's been talking about it. 0:20:24.247 --> 0:20:25.087 Explain it to me. 0:20:25.527 --> 0:20:26.407 Luca got me onto it. 0:20:26.447 --> 0:20:28.327 I think he found it on TikTok and we would 0:20:28.367 --> 0:20:30.687 watch it in the early days of lunar because it 0:20:30.767 --> 0:20:35.087 requires very little mental input, like you can watch. 0:20:34.847 --> 0:20:36.487 It a cooking show. 0:20:36.607 --> 0:20:39.287 Yes now started in England. I think they've had seventeen 0:20:39.327 --> 0:20:42.207 seasons and Australia is onto its second season and I 0:20:42.207 --> 0:20:44.767 believe it's been a real performer for them. So it's 0:20:44.807 --> 0:20:47.407 on Channel ten, but then it goes onto Amazon Prime, 0:20:47.487 --> 0:20:49.727 so we've been watching it there and the latest season 0:20:49.887 --> 0:20:53.127 has Josh Thomas, it has Will Anderson, Lloyd Langford, who 0:20:53.167 --> 0:20:54.527 I think is one of the funniest people in the world, 0:20:54.847 --> 0:20:55.647 Jenny Tian. 0:20:55.767 --> 0:20:58.287 And An Edmunds to comedians. 0:20:58.327 --> 0:21:01.047 They've got comedians, five comedians, and what they do is 0:21:01.087 --> 0:21:04.487 they give them a task. So the task could be 0:21:04.567 --> 0:21:09.047 something like biggest fluke wins. That's the whole task, right, 0:21:09.487 --> 0:21:12.447 what's your interpretation of what a fluke is? How do 0:21:12.527 --> 0:21:14.527 you prove that you've had a fluke and you can 0:21:14.567 --> 0:21:16.767 do anything. They're at this farm and they go and 0:21:16.807 --> 0:21:18.767 choose something to do. So they're creative, funny people and 0:21:18.807 --> 0:21:20.887 you watch their process and you watch them do it, 0:21:21.047 --> 0:21:23.407 and then Tom Gleeson gives them a score. 0:21:23.527 --> 0:21:25.687 Tom Gleason seems to host everything. He seems to have 0:21:25.687 --> 0:21:27.927 a lot of shows in a card quiz and. 0:21:27.887 --> 0:21:30.607 All those things. Yep, and this one has been a 0:21:30.607 --> 0:21:31.327 real success. 0:21:31.487 --> 0:21:34.127 So we've gone back and we started watching the British one, 0:21:34.527 --> 0:21:38.407 which is also hilarious. It's just I was thinking, Holy, 0:21:38.767 --> 0:21:41.047 with kids of your age, it would be perfect. Yeah, 0:21:41.047 --> 0:21:44.847 we should watch because it's very like safe, it's very funny. 0:21:46.047 --> 0:21:47.407 Masters or thank God you're here. 0:21:47.567 --> 0:21:50.967 Yes, yeah, exactly like that. Yeah, really really good watch. 0:21:51.047 --> 0:21:52.127 So brain off a little bit. 0:21:52.247 --> 0:21:54.247 Yeah, and like sometimes I can be on my phone. 0:21:54.367 --> 0:21:56.487 It's very much I need to finish a few emails. 0:21:56.527 --> 0:21:57.567 Let's put on Taskmaster. 0:21:57.727 --> 0:22:00.887 Okay, it's on Amazon Prime, also on Time Play and 0:22:00.967 --> 0:22:03.967 Taskmaster UK is on Binge and there's seventeen seasons. 0:22:04.287 --> 0:22:06.567 So have fun. Holly, what have you got? 0:22:06.887 --> 0:22:09.847 Okay, So I'm really excited about my recommend even though 0:22:09.847 --> 0:22:10.367 it's no good. 0:22:10.847 --> 0:22:12.487 So spending the. 0:22:12.487 --> 0:22:15.567 Rules a little bit of Today's of the format today 0:22:15.687 --> 0:22:19.927 format testing, I am because I'm recommending the Brats documentary 0:22:20.087 --> 0:22:20.967 on Disney Plus. 0:22:22.887 --> 0:22:25.007 If you were coming of age in the nineteen eighties, 0:22:25.247 --> 0:22:29.007 the Brat Pack was near the center of your cultural awareness. 0:22:29.287 --> 0:22:32.367 But for those of us experiencing it from the inside, 0:22:32.567 --> 0:22:38.007 the brad Pack was something very different. On June tenth, 0:22:38.127 --> 0:22:41.407 nineteen eighty five, New York Magazine pub was Hollywood's brat Pack. 0:22:41.807 --> 0:22:47.767 I just remember seeing that cover and thinking, oh. 0:22:46.367 --> 0:22:47.847 Are you recommending we don't watch it? 0:22:48.247 --> 0:22:52.407 No? Well maybe, so I watched it at the weekend 0:22:52.487 --> 0:22:54.967 because I have literally been looking forward to it. It 0:22:55.047 --> 0:22:57.367 is a documentary about the brat Pack. Does that mean 0:22:57.367 --> 0:22:58.367 anything to ninety? 0:22:58.647 --> 0:23:00.047 I thought this was about the doll? 0:23:00.287 --> 0:23:02.967 Yet no rats, So I'll let me explain a tiny 0:23:02.967 --> 0:23:03.767 bread doll. 0:23:03.887 --> 0:23:04.967 I've never heard of a brat pack. 0:23:05.527 --> 0:23:08.567 The brat Pack was the name given to a group 0:23:08.607 --> 0:23:11.767 of actors in the mid eighties who were dominating Hollywood, 0:23:11.807 --> 0:23:14.567 and they were all young and hot. Actually, one of 0:23:14.607 --> 0:23:17.447 the interesting things about going back and watching this is 0:23:17.487 --> 0:23:19.767 our definition of hot definitely changes over the years. 0:23:19.767 --> 0:23:21.087 But anyway, who was in it? 0:23:21.207 --> 0:23:24.847 So with the brat Pack, the most iconic movies of 0:23:24.927 --> 0:23:27.927 the brat Pack era were The Breakfast Club, Pretty in Pink, 0:23:28.527 --> 0:23:29.447 Saint Elmo's Fire. 0:23:29.567 --> 0:23:30.807 Have you seen any of those movies? 0:23:30.927 --> 0:23:31.607 Breakfast Club? 0:23:31.767 --> 0:23:36.207 Yes, that's like iconic, iconic, Hanhannon, So all of the 0:23:36.247 --> 0:23:39.767 actors in that are in the brat Pack. So that 0:23:40.007 --> 0:23:46.287 is Emilio Estevez, Judd Nelson, Ali reenld Ali Sheedy, plus 0:23:46.367 --> 0:23:48.967 the person who made this documentary who's called Andrew McCarthy. 0:23:48.967 --> 0:23:51.887 He's not in Breakfast Club, but he is in Pretty 0:23:51.927 --> 0:23:53.767 in Pink, which is fucking great and you should go 0:23:53.767 --> 0:23:57.967 and watch Pretty in Pink immediately. Anyway, So he has 0:23:58.047 --> 0:24:01.327 made a documentary for Netflix called Brats, and I have 0:24:01.487 --> 0:24:04.287 been hanging out for it because if you're gen X, 0:24:05.127 --> 0:24:07.927 those movies they came out when I was a teenager, right, 0:24:07.927 --> 0:24:11.447 So the eighties were my teenager is the Breakfast Club 0:24:11.447 --> 0:24:14.767 in particular, and Pretty in Pink for me, were just 0:24:15.807 --> 0:24:18.927 the movies everybody was talking about them. Think about a 0:24:19.007 --> 0:24:21.767 much more monolithic cultural world than. 0:24:21.687 --> 0:24:22.207 We have now. 0:24:22.287 --> 0:24:24.967 Right, So there's and it was the first time and 0:24:25.007 --> 0:24:28.927 this is sort of investigated in this docco that teenagers 0:24:28.927 --> 0:24:32.407 had kind of really owned Hollywood, teenagers and young adults, 0:24:32.767 --> 0:24:34.847 that all the movies, all the hot movies were about 0:24:34.887 --> 0:24:38.167 the young people, and they have continued to be really anyway, 0:24:38.847 --> 0:24:41.527 they would called the brat pack. This term was coined 0:24:41.767 --> 0:24:44.327 were They by a writer for the New York magazine 0:24:44.367 --> 0:24:46.047 called David Blum, who went and wrote one of those 0:24:46.087 --> 0:24:48.407 like classic profile pieces where he went and hung out 0:24:48.407 --> 0:24:50.487 with the Melio Estevez in La for a few days 0:24:50.807 --> 0:24:53.807 and he wrote this iconic thousands and thousands of words 0:24:53.847 --> 0:24:56.487 profile about what it's like hanging out with the hottest 0:24:56.487 --> 0:24:58.687 young actors in Hollywood, and he called them the brat pack. 0:24:58.727 --> 0:25:00.687 He said they were, you know, they behaved as you 0:25:00.727 --> 0:25:02.567 would imagine young movie stars might behave. 0:25:02.407 --> 0:25:04.967 When it was a play on the pack, the rat pack, 0:25:05.007 --> 0:25:07.607 which was from a generation earlier, which was like Frank 0:25:07.647 --> 0:25:12.967 Sinatra and I can't think of Dean Mutton, Yeah, Dean Mutton. 0:25:13.167 --> 0:25:16.727 So it was like a group of guys that are 0:25:17.647 --> 0:25:19.887 this is like the next generation because they were like young, 0:25:19.927 --> 0:25:21.887 and there were women and men, and it was like 0:25:21.927 --> 0:25:22.447 a new thing. 0:25:22.447 --> 0:25:24.127 It was like a cohort of actors. 0:25:24.207 --> 0:25:26.527 To me, Moore is also in the bra Yeah, because 0:25:26.887 --> 0:25:30.887 of some almost fire. Anyway, the article came out and 0:25:30.927 --> 0:25:33.647 it became one of those pieces of media that goes 0:25:33.687 --> 0:25:36.487 completely viral. In a day before there was no viral, 0:25:36.567 --> 0:25:39.207 but it did go completely viral, and this group of 0:25:39.247 --> 0:25:40.607 actors were always known as that. 0:25:40.767 --> 0:25:43.407 Afterwards, the term went into the vernacular. They were always 0:25:43.447 --> 0:25:44.207 referred to as that. 0:25:44.607 --> 0:25:47.847 Some of them really did not like it. In fact, 0:25:48.007 --> 0:25:50.407 nearly all of them did not like it. They didn't 0:25:50.487 --> 0:25:52.567 like being called brats. Some of them think it was 0:25:52.687 --> 0:25:55.007 very bad for their career. Some of them were like meh. 0:25:55.047 --> 0:25:58.367 And what Andrew McCarthy does in this documentary is he 0:25:58.407 --> 0:26:01.447 talks about how he thinks it affected him and his career, 0:26:01.687 --> 0:26:03.447 and then he goes and tracks down all the other 0:26:03.487 --> 0:26:05.887 members of the brat Pack and interviews them about what 0:26:05.927 --> 0:26:09.247 they think about it, as well as some adjacent people, directors, writers, 0:26:09.287 --> 0:26:12.607 and ultimately the writer of the piece. That's a very 0:26:12.607 --> 0:26:15.807 good idea, great idea for it, a great idea, And 0:26:15.847 --> 0:26:18.447 the only reason that this record comes with a like 0:26:19.247 --> 0:26:22.527 is that as a documentary it's actually pretty unsatisfying. 0:26:22.927 --> 0:26:24.047 Andrew McCarthy is so. 0:26:24.047 --> 0:26:26.327 Pissed off about the brat Pack label that he feels 0:26:26.647 --> 0:26:31.207 derailed his forty years ago that it's a bit like 0:26:31.287 --> 0:26:32.647 you know, when you catch up with an old friend 0:26:32.687 --> 0:26:34.567 from school and they just want to keep bitching about 0:26:34.567 --> 0:26:36.727 the things from school even though they happened twenty years ago, 0:26:36.807 --> 0:26:38.367 like being trapped in a conversation. 0:26:38.607 --> 0:26:41.167 Was that so looking forward to this because for gen X, 0:26:41.447 --> 0:26:44.687 those actors are iconic, right, and there are a lot 0:26:44.687 --> 0:26:47.367 of I mean, they were all very much in different 0:26:47.367 --> 0:26:50.407 ways defined by that era, but many of them went 0:26:50.447 --> 0:26:56.887 on to have big, satisfying yeah, of course, and Molly 0:26:56.967 --> 0:27:00.447 Ringworld went and reinvented herself and had an interesting life 0:27:00.447 --> 0:27:04.567 as well. But it sounds a little bit like Peter Pan, 0:27:04.727 --> 0:27:07.287 like who just never grew up? Is it that none 0:27:07.287 --> 0:27:09.047 of the actors were ever allowed to grow up? Or 0:27:09.087 --> 0:27:13.167 the Andrew McCarthy's looking for escapegoat to blame the fact 0:27:13.247 --> 0:27:14.327 he's career went. 0:27:14.447 --> 0:27:16.567 I think that they all got tarnished with it to 0:27:16.607 --> 0:27:19.567 a point. And what's interesting about it consider I didn't 0:27:19.607 --> 0:27:21.207 like it very much. I had a lot of thoughts. 0:27:21.407 --> 0:27:25.367 I've made notes writing a story like I'm very investing 0:27:25.967 --> 0:27:28.527 because it makes you think about the things from our youth, 0:27:28.567 --> 0:27:30.007 the things that happened to you when you're young, and 0:27:30.047 --> 0:27:33.447 how much they impact you. Because basically, you're talking about 0:27:33.687 --> 0:27:35.727 a group of people who were defined by a moment 0:27:35.807 --> 0:27:38.527 in time, and they always will be to a point. 0:27:38.687 --> 0:27:42.567 I've got a comparison so like the Lindsay Lohan, Paris 0:27:42.967 --> 0:27:44.327 Britney spears. 0:27:44.807 --> 0:27:46.967 And people will always want to bring them back to 0:27:46.967 --> 0:27:48.887 that and talk to them about that and remember, hey, 0:27:49.007 --> 0:27:52.647 how about that time blue right, And it's very much 0:27:52.807 --> 0:27:56.607 like that, and some of them have got healthy attitudes 0:27:56.647 --> 0:27:58.647 to it, some of them not Andrew McCarthy clearly not. 0:27:59.167 --> 0:28:01.887 There's a lot of therapy speak. They're all very over therapized, 0:28:01.887 --> 0:28:02.527 so there's a lot of that. 0:28:02.567 --> 0:28:04.327 I feel like his therapists would say, don't make that 0:28:04.367 --> 0:28:04.887 do The. 0:28:04.807 --> 0:28:08.287 Most fun is he tried. Demimore is great in it actually, 0:28:08.287 --> 0:28:10.327 and he just interviews her pajamas by her pool. 0:28:10.367 --> 0:28:13.447 It's quite fun going into famous people's houses. Robb Loo 0:28:13.567 --> 0:28:15.047 as well, and mean Leostave. 0:28:16.807 --> 0:28:17.727 Okay, okay. 0:28:17.727 --> 0:28:21.647 He was my first heterosexual crush. The ones I had 0:28:21.647 --> 0:28:24.447 before him showed how broken my gait I was because 0:28:24.447 --> 0:28:27.927 it was boy George, George Michael and the guys from 0:28:27.967 --> 0:28:32.087 AHA also adam ant. So Rob Low was the first 0:28:32.607 --> 0:28:34.767 heterosexual crush that I had on my wall. 0:28:34.887 --> 0:28:37.087 And he's in it and he was He's very cool 0:28:37.127 --> 0:28:39.647 about it all. And Ali Sheedy, she's so great anyway. 0:28:39.687 --> 0:28:41.287 The only person who won't speak to is Molly Ringle, 0:28:41.287 --> 0:28:43.327 which is very disappointing because I do love her. But 0:28:43.407 --> 0:28:45.527 she was like, Andrew, I think we should just leave 0:28:45.567 --> 0:28:46.847 things in the path of yeah, and. 0:28:49.487 --> 0:28:50.807 It was it's. 0:28:50.647 --> 0:28:53.887 Really I'm kind of recommending it if you're into that world. 0:28:53.967 --> 0:28:56.767 It immediately made me want to go and rewatch all 0:28:56.807 --> 0:28:59.527 those movies and think how desperately I want to show 0:28:59.527 --> 0:29:02.407 my daughter pretty in pink and this, and how good 0:29:02.447 --> 0:29:05.287 the soundtracks of those movies were and how iconic they were. 0:29:05.607 --> 0:29:07.887 But as a doc, oh, it's a bit me. But 0:29:08.007 --> 0:29:10.167 I'd love to know what out loud. I would love 0:29:10.247 --> 0:29:13.047 to know because it was so interesting. I want to 0:29:13.087 --> 0:29:16.687 hear how it goes when you try to recapture your 0:29:16.687 --> 0:29:19.367 youth by showing your kids films. I made that mistake 0:29:19.367 --> 0:29:22.727 with Muriel's Wedding, and my kids were quite young, and 0:29:22.727 --> 0:29:25.287 I'm like, it's this great film, but films have changed, 0:29:25.647 --> 0:29:27.807 and then there's that terrible I'd forgotten that whole plot 0:29:27.807 --> 0:29:30.887 and Mural's wedding of the mother who takes a life, 0:29:30.927 --> 0:29:32.407 and it was just like the kids were. 0:29:32.287 --> 0:29:34.447 Like, this is a why are we watching this? 0:29:35.647 --> 0:29:38.527 Most interesting thing about watching old movies is that everyone 0:29:38.567 --> 0:29:41.087 had normal teeth back and their faces moved. 0:29:40.887 --> 0:29:43.887 And actually looking at all these guys. They were obviously 0:29:43.927 --> 0:29:46.207 all handsome guys and they but they were It's a 0:29:46.247 --> 0:29:49.047 different level of hot that we require these days, a 0:29:49.087 --> 0:29:52.527 different level of hot. Anyway, do with it what you will. 0:29:52.647 --> 0:29:54.807 It's the brat STOCKO. It's on Disney Plus. 0:29:56.087 --> 0:29:59.727 I watched a movie that it's a series actually that 0:29:59.807 --> 0:30:02.327 many out louders have been watching over the last week 0:30:02.407 --> 0:30:04.687 or so, which is The Man with one Thousand Kids 0:30:04.927 --> 0:30:07.927 on Netflix. What if I were to tell you that 0:30:07.967 --> 0:30:11.807 there is a man alive who may have fathered over 0:30:11.887 --> 0:30:14.767 eight thousand children. What can a man would do that? 0:30:16.727 --> 0:30:19.367 I always wanted to be a mom, We wanted to 0:30:19.567 --> 0:30:20.447 have a family together. 0:30:20.607 --> 0:30:24.207 A sperm donor is making up fifty percent of your child. 0:30:24.847 --> 0:30:26.647 I got to know him on the internet. 0:30:27.247 --> 0:30:28.487 He has curly hair. 0:30:30.207 --> 0:30:33.007 His hair, we were totally sold. I'm ready to have 0:30:33.087 --> 0:30:34.007 beautiful babies. 0:30:34.167 --> 0:30:36.807 Nine months later, I had a baby boy, but that 0:30:36.887 --> 0:30:40.487 wonderment was totally ripped from us. 0:30:40.567 --> 0:30:44.167 I'm actually interviewing someone from that show on No Filter 0:30:44.367 --> 0:30:45.247 in the next week or so. 0:30:45.367 --> 0:30:47.767 But it's basically about. 0:30:47.447 --> 0:30:50.647 The world's most prolific sperm donor. It's this guy from 0:30:50.687 --> 0:30:54.127 the Netherlands who It starts off following a couple of 0:30:54.207 --> 0:30:57.927 single women and gay lesbian couples who look for a 0:30:57.927 --> 0:30:59.767 sperm donor because they want to have families, and one 0:31:00.367 --> 0:31:03.727 heterosexual couple who are infertile, and they all happened upon 0:31:04.207 --> 0:31:06.887 through various ways the same guy. Some some of them 0:31:06.887 --> 0:31:10.087 live in the Netherlands, so he literally don't donate sperm 0:31:10.287 --> 0:31:13.127 to their door. One of them he offers to conceive 0:31:13.207 --> 0:31:15.607 naturally with them and she has sex with him, and 0:31:15.687 --> 0:31:19.207 others buy his sperm through a sperm bank and where 0:31:19.247 --> 0:31:22.647 he's a donor, and as it progresses, they all start 0:31:22.727 --> 0:31:26.207 to find out. Firstly, in this particular town in the Netherlands, 0:31:27.247 --> 0:31:29.647 they find accidentally that a woman who's a teacher, another 0:31:29.767 --> 0:31:31.567 teacher at her school also he's a sperm donor. And 0:31:31.607 --> 0:31:33.607 then they discover it was the same sperm donor, and 0:31:33.647 --> 0:31:35.367 at first they're like, oh hahaha, we should get the 0:31:35.407 --> 0:31:35.847 kids together. 0:31:35.847 --> 0:31:36.927 They're like half siblings. 0:31:37.767 --> 0:31:42.087 And then they find more and more people, and then 0:31:42.247 --> 0:31:45.887 they realize, oh no, and more and more and more 0:31:45.927 --> 0:31:50.407 people realize that this guy is actually trying to repopulate 0:31:50.527 --> 0:31:54.807 the world. Essentially, Oh my gosh, there's way too well 0:31:54.807 --> 0:31:56.927 that's a great question because he's not interviewed for this. 0:31:57.487 --> 0:31:59.687 But my complaint about this is that it's a bit 0:31:59.767 --> 0:32:02.727 cheesily done as the music and stuff, and there is 0:32:02.847 --> 0:32:10.047 way too many shots of sperm in donation cups, way 0:32:10.287 --> 0:32:13.527 too many depictions of sperm. Is upsetting is it's not 0:32:13.647 --> 0:32:17.447 dangerous for like biodiversity. Yes, and this is the problem. 0:32:17.487 --> 0:32:19.087 It's not just like, oh, what a kooky guy, and 0:32:19.127 --> 0:32:20.047 oh how funny there's so. 0:32:19.967 --> 0:32:21.367 Many kids around the community. 0:32:21.647 --> 0:32:25.167 It's actually a problem because if you were just having 0:32:25.287 --> 0:32:27.407 children by having sex with women, there'd be sort of 0:32:27.447 --> 0:32:31.207 a limit by geography and time. But if you're depositing 0:32:31.207 --> 0:32:33.327 in sperm banks, not just in your country but in 0:32:33.327 --> 0:32:37.727 countries all over the world, a single donation can make 0:32:38.087 --> 0:32:38.927 twenty children. 0:32:39.447 --> 0:32:40.007 Is that true? 0:32:40.127 --> 0:32:43.167 Yeah, and so or more, you know, many many children. 0:32:43.527 --> 0:32:48.567 And so as these women start to discover that it's 0:32:48.607 --> 0:32:51.607 something called fertility fraud, that he's lying to them all, 0:32:51.887 --> 0:32:54.527 it becomes a problem because these children, when they grow 0:32:54.607 --> 0:32:56.127 up and they meet someone and they fall in love, 0:32:56.167 --> 0:32:59.327 they might not know that they've got the same father biologically, 0:32:59.847 --> 0:33:03.847 and they might have children and suddenly it's incest. And 0:33:03.887 --> 0:33:07.167 so it looks at this fight that the women have 0:33:07.607 --> 0:33:10.807 to stop him basically and sort of questions what his 0:33:10.887 --> 0:33:13.767 motivation is. And there's an Australian lesbian couple in there 0:33:13.767 --> 0:33:16.927 that are amazing. They sort of lead the charge, and 0:33:17.447 --> 0:33:20.567 it talks about how they've had some gatherings between the 0:33:20.567 --> 0:33:22.327 different mothers where the children have met, and all the 0:33:22.407 --> 0:33:25.767 children look frighteningly alike, and there are whole Facebook groups 0:33:25.807 --> 0:33:28.207 where they've all found each other. And it talks about 0:33:28.207 --> 0:33:30.447 this instant connection that the children have with each other 0:33:30.647 --> 0:33:33.927 because they share half of their DNA, so they've got 0:33:34.007 --> 0:33:36.687 the same taste, they've got the same likes, they've got 0:33:36.687 --> 0:33:40.087 similar personalities. So you know, there's one really frightening one 0:33:40.087 --> 0:33:42.127 where this little girl comes home and they've been at 0:33:42.167 --> 0:33:44.087 one of these gatherings, and she's about ten or eleven. 0:33:44.127 --> 0:33:46.567 She says, I think I'm in love with you know, 0:33:46.887 --> 0:33:49.247 Johan who is And the mother's like, no. 0:33:49.247 --> 0:33:49.647 You can't be. 0:33:49.687 --> 0:33:51.327 That's your brother, and she's like, but I've got feelings 0:33:51.327 --> 0:33:54.807 for him. I think I love him. And anyway, it's 0:33:55.127 --> 0:33:59.687 absolutely fascinating this idea of fertility fraud and Jonathan Meyer, 0:33:59.847 --> 0:34:02.887 who is this Dutch guy, and how these women tried 0:34:02.887 --> 0:34:05.367 to stop him, and also whether he's been stopped or 0:34:05.447 --> 0:34:08.247 not now absolutely fascinating. It's on Netflix. 0:34:08.527 --> 0:34:11.207 Listen like our recommendations and you want all the links 0:34:11.207 --> 0:34:13.687 to everything we recommend, make sure that you sign up 0:34:13.727 --> 0:34:16.087 to the mom and Mia out Loud newsletter. It's written 0:34:16.087 --> 0:34:18.727 by our fabulous friend em Vernon who you often hear 0:34:18.807 --> 0:34:21.007 on this show, and they'll be link to how you 0:34:21.047 --> 0:34:22.887 subscribe to it and make sure you get it every 0:34:22.927 --> 0:34:24.407 week in our show. 0:34:27.087 --> 0:34:30.367 Shout out to any Mamma Mia subscribers listening. If you 0:34:30.527 --> 0:34:32.887 love the show and want to support us as well, 0:34:33.087 --> 0:34:35.487 subscribing to mom and Mia is the very best way 0:34:35.487 --> 0:34:38.007 to do so. There is a link in the episode description. 0:34:43.807 --> 0:34:47.127 It is time for best and Worst. This is where 0:34:47.167 --> 0:34:49.527 we share a little more from our personal lives. Holly, 0:34:49.647 --> 0:34:50.887 what was your worst for this week? 0:34:51.847 --> 0:34:52.487 Dog related? 0:34:52.527 --> 0:34:54.967 I'm taking Mia smot I spoke a few weeks ago 0:34:55.007 --> 0:34:57.407 about how my baby Tuna, my beautiful little dog dog, 0:34:57.527 --> 0:35:00.247 has hurt her leg, which she has she can't run around. 0:35:00.287 --> 0:35:02.767 It's sad, but also I think she's been a bit 0:35:02.847 --> 0:35:03.887 out of sorts since then. 0:35:04.167 --> 0:35:07.447 She's got the midyear memes means. 0:35:07.207 --> 0:35:09.247 Right, and she can be a bit of an anxious poppy. 0:35:09.287 --> 0:35:11.807 She's a rescue dog. She can be bit anxious anyway. 0:35:11.847 --> 0:35:14.127 This week, because Brent and the kids were away and 0:35:14.167 --> 0:35:15.767 I had to come up to the city for work, 0:35:16.047 --> 0:35:18.127 I put her in the dog kennel for a few days, 0:35:18.327 --> 0:35:18.967 and you know, they. 0:35:19.007 --> 0:35:21.247 Look after her very well there, but saying. 0:35:20.967 --> 0:35:25.047 Goodbye to her that morning was really hard because she. 0:35:24.927 --> 0:35:27.087 Doesn't like it when I leave. I she doesn't like 0:35:27.167 --> 0:35:27.727 being left. 0:35:27.887 --> 0:35:29.367 And I took her in the place and her little 0:35:29.407 --> 0:35:31.847 tails down and her ears are down, and she can 0:35:31.847 --> 0:35:34.287 seal the whites of her eyes and she's looking around 0:35:34.887 --> 0:35:36.367 and you're just like sweety pie. 0:35:36.407 --> 0:35:37.887 And I was like, I'm coming back. 0:35:37.967 --> 0:35:39.687 I promise it's only two sleep. 0:35:39.727 --> 0:35:41.287 Since she's looking at me like, I don't speak, you're 0:35:41.287 --> 0:35:44.407 weird like and then the lady was like trying to 0:35:44.447 --> 0:35:46.527 take her off to the and she wouldn't go. 0:35:46.647 --> 0:35:47.687 She kept pulling back to me. 0:35:47.847 --> 0:35:50.767 And then I was like, oh, I'm such a bad dog. Anyway, 0:35:50.967 --> 0:35:51.847 I had to walk to the door. 0:35:51.927 --> 0:35:56.967 Then I'm like, bye, do good bye tonight. 0:35:57.167 --> 0:35:59.047 Oh anyway, it makes me. 0:35:59.047 --> 0:36:00.927 It's hilarious because the kids have been away too, and 0:36:00.967 --> 0:36:02.287 I barely even thought about that. 0:36:03.567 --> 0:36:05.367 Not true. I do love the children. My kids and 0:36:05.447 --> 0:36:07.847 dogs have been away and it's been outstanding, one of 0:36:07.847 --> 0:36:08.927 the best ways of my life. 0:36:09.367 --> 0:36:11.967 I'm just like, I cannot wait to be reunited with Tuna, 0:36:12.167 --> 0:36:16.687 oh and the children. But my best is food related, right, 0:36:17.207 --> 0:36:18.487 And I know that you two are going to go 0:36:18.887 --> 0:36:19.807 because you don't. 0:36:19.647 --> 0:36:22.407 Know I'm into recipes now, I'm inter recipe okay, good, Yeah, 0:36:22.407 --> 0:36:23.847 I've got to have to cook now. 0:36:23.887 --> 0:36:25.567 But when I was feeling a bit poorly, I got 0:36:25.567 --> 0:36:27.847 this craving, you know, when you're just like your body 0:36:27.887 --> 0:36:31.607 knows what it needs. And I really wanted hardy, nourishing food. 0:36:31.647 --> 0:36:33.247 And I remember that one of my favorite things in 0:36:33.247 --> 0:36:35.247 the world is dal. You know what darl is, right, 0:36:35.527 --> 0:36:37.927 Indian lent of curry. And I was about to hear 0:36:39.047 --> 0:36:43.327 darl like hid as hi. Dahl is Indian lentil curry. 0:36:43.407 --> 0:36:46.407 It is one I came across this. The thing that 0:36:46.407 --> 0:36:47.967 made me think of it is I came across a 0:36:47.967 --> 0:36:51.687 recipe for Dahl, a really easy one on Instagram, which 0:36:51.687 --> 0:36:54.327 will put a link in. But you can find really great, 0:36:54.367 --> 0:36:57.647 really authentic recipes for dahl everywhere. 0:36:57.247 --> 0:36:58.687 On the internet, and it's all easy. 0:36:59.447 --> 0:37:02.447 But let me just tell you I've been eating dahl 0:37:03.527 --> 0:37:04.687 solidly for a while. 0:37:05.647 --> 0:37:06.807 Yellow split peas. 0:37:06.527 --> 0:37:09.087 So that's lentils dried and yeah, yeah, yeah, in a pan, 0:37:09.447 --> 0:37:10.127 heavy bottomed pan. 0:37:10.967 --> 0:37:12.887 Add a couple of cups of either water or stock. 0:37:13.247 --> 0:37:15.087 Yep, easy, right, can do that. 0:37:15.327 --> 0:37:17.607 Throw in a handful of cherry tomatoes. 0:37:17.807 --> 0:37:19.167 This is a spinach to chop them. 0:37:19.287 --> 0:37:21.767 No, this is the this is a spinach and tomato doll. 0:37:21.807 --> 0:37:25.647 But you can put this is a spinach and tomato doll. 0:37:26.007 --> 0:37:28.447 Throw in a handful of cherry tomatoes. Bang, throw in 0:37:28.487 --> 0:37:30.287 a couple of blocks of frozen spinach. Or if you 0:37:30.367 --> 0:37:32.327 have real spinach around, chop it up, put it in 0:37:32.767 --> 0:37:34.807 and then all you do then is you literally put 0:37:34.847 --> 0:37:37.127 on You can either curry powder if you've got curry powder, 0:37:37.207 --> 0:37:41.007 or garam masala, which is like another spice. Sprinkle it 0:37:41.047 --> 0:37:43.847 in salt pepper, bring it to the boil, put it 0:37:43.887 --> 0:37:46.047 down on zimmer stick the lid on twenty minutes. 0:37:46.287 --> 0:37:48.887 Oh my god, the easy. 0:37:48.927 --> 0:37:50.367 Very I'm actually very impressed with. 0:37:50.407 --> 0:37:53.047 There is and most delicious. And you can make dull 0:37:53.127 --> 0:37:55.607 more complicated if you want. You can chop up lots 0:37:55.607 --> 0:37:58.687 of herbs and onion, and you can toast spices in 0:37:58.807 --> 0:38:00.327 oil and put it on top. You can do all 0:38:00.327 --> 0:38:02.047 that if you want, or you can just do that 0:38:02.047 --> 0:38:04.247 that I just told you about, eat it with like 0:38:04.287 --> 0:38:05.607 a dollup of natural yogurt on top. 0:38:05.647 --> 0:38:06.327 If that's your thing. 0:38:07.007 --> 0:38:10.167 It is so delicious, so for you, and if you 0:38:10.207 --> 0:38:13.207 are if you've got the midwinter sads, just do it. 0:38:13.327 --> 0:38:17.007 I like that that was my best, rediscovering no my 0:38:17.127 --> 0:38:19.727 worst is interesting because I've been thinking about this all 0:38:19.767 --> 0:38:22.247 week before I remembered what my word was, and my 0:38:22.327 --> 0:38:24.527 word of the year being grace, was also about having 0:38:24.607 --> 0:38:29.247 grace towards myself, because I'm fairly tough on myself, and 0:38:29.847 --> 0:38:34.807 my worst this week has been my brain. My I 0:38:34.807 --> 0:38:37.127 don't like talking about my ADHD very much because I 0:38:37.167 --> 0:38:38.647 don't want to be defined by it and I don't 0:38:38.647 --> 0:38:40.487 want to see my life through the lens of it. 0:38:41.047 --> 0:38:45.527 But there are times where I really, really really batter 0:38:45.647 --> 0:38:48.007 with it and it makes my life really really hard, 0:38:48.047 --> 0:38:49.167 and it's been making. 0:38:48.927 --> 0:38:51.967 My life really really hard lately. 0:38:52.247 --> 0:38:57.487 And your steam do you think it's like this might 0:38:57.527 --> 0:38:59.287 be a dumb question, and I apologize if it is. 0:38:59.327 --> 0:39:00.247 But if you are. 0:39:00.247 --> 0:39:03.487 Such thing as a dumb questionnai show if you are tired, 0:39:03.567 --> 0:39:04.847 or if you are this, or if you are that. 0:39:04.927 --> 0:39:06.767 Do you think that there are times when you struggle 0:39:06.807 --> 0:39:08.847 more than others with your ADHD? 0:39:09.527 --> 0:39:11.807 Yes, definitely, which is why a lot of women aren't 0:39:11.847 --> 0:39:14.287 diagnosed until they're in their footies, because things like hormones 0:39:14.327 --> 0:39:17.727 can really affect it, stress can affect it. But for 0:39:17.927 --> 0:39:22.807 me also because I manage it with medication, it's not 0:39:22.927 --> 0:39:29.247 just an easy solution medication because it's different to Excelso 0:39:29.287 --> 0:39:34.047 take medication for anxiety, and that's like it's not instant, 0:39:34.087 --> 0:39:35.887 you don't feel it, like you just have it, and 0:39:35.927 --> 0:39:37.807 it's sort of just if it's working in the right dose, 0:39:38.127 --> 0:39:41.327 it takes the anxiety away or minimizes it, and you 0:39:41.367 --> 0:39:45.287 might still have breakthrough anxiety. But the medication that is 0:39:45.567 --> 0:39:49.567 prescribed for ADHD is a bit can be a bit rollercoastery, 0:39:50.287 --> 0:39:52.767 and it's quite tiring to be on because what it 0:39:52.807 --> 0:39:57.127 does is it makes you really sharp, and the sharpness 0:39:57.167 --> 0:39:59.327 can bring with it some problems. It can make me 0:39:59.367 --> 0:40:01.887 really intense. It can make me really have to work 0:40:01.927 --> 0:40:04.087 all the time and not be able to rest. But 0:40:04.087 --> 0:40:05.767 then when I'm not taking it, I can feel really 0:40:05.807 --> 0:40:10.207 tired and really my brain's like just jumping around, so 0:40:10.287 --> 0:40:13.527 like you can't when I just when you have an 0:40:13.567 --> 0:40:15.847 issue like this, you just can't get away from it. 0:40:16.167 --> 0:40:19.487 You can try to treat it, but it's just getting 0:40:19.527 --> 0:40:21.447 I'm just getting in my way, and it's just that 0:40:21.607 --> 0:40:25.927 sense of things that should be easy are just really 0:40:25.967 --> 0:40:28.327 really hard for me at the moment. And it just 0:40:28.407 --> 0:40:31.607 makes it's like trying to walk through quicksand it's just 0:40:31.927 --> 0:40:36.407 really really hard. So yeah, that's my worst. My best 0:40:36.687 --> 0:40:42.647 is managing a really really tricky episode of No Filter 0:40:42.727 --> 0:40:45.687 this week that I've wanted to do for years and 0:40:45.767 --> 0:40:48.527 years and years. And I seem like I often say that, 0:40:48.567 --> 0:40:50.407 but lately I've landed a lot of people who have 0:40:50.407 --> 0:40:52.767 wanted to talk to for ages, and Dassi Earlick as 0:40:52.767 --> 0:40:56.887 one of them. Dassi is an extraordinary woman from Melbourne 0:40:57.207 --> 0:41:01.207 who was sexually abused by the headmistress at her very 0:41:01.247 --> 0:41:04.407 religious school in Melbourne, was an all girls school called 0:41:04.487 --> 0:41:08.527 at Us and she was part of a very very religious, 0:41:08.647 --> 0:41:14.727 ultra author Jewish community in Melbourne, and she fought to 0:41:15.127 --> 0:41:17.887 bring this teacher, who was immediately spirited out of the 0:41:17.927 --> 0:41:22.847 country by the school to protect the abuser and to 0:41:22.887 --> 0:41:26.647 protect themselves and sent, you know, spirited back to Israel. 0:41:26.687 --> 0:41:29.087 And then Darcy and her sisters, who were also abused 0:41:29.127 --> 0:41:31.847 by Malkhalifa, fought for years and years and years and 0:41:31.887 --> 0:41:33.927 years and years to bring her back to Australia to 0:41:33.967 --> 0:41:37.847 face justice, which finally she did and last year she 0:41:37.927 --> 0:41:39.727 was sentenced or the year four she was sentenced to 0:41:39.727 --> 0:41:43.287 fifteen years and she's currently serving those in prison. And 0:41:43.407 --> 0:41:46.567 Darcy's written this amazing books called In Good Faith, and 0:41:46.807 --> 0:41:50.007 it's about her life. And what's amazing about Darcy is 0:41:50.007 --> 0:41:54.647 that by the time Malkalafa came along, because of the 0:41:54.687 --> 0:41:56.487 way in which she was brought up, like in any 0:41:56.607 --> 0:42:02.047 ultra religious community, those children and girls and boys, but 0:42:02.167 --> 0:42:04.887 girls in particular are sitting ducks for abuse because they 0:42:04.927 --> 0:42:07.647 don't even know the names of their body parts, they 0:42:08.247 --> 0:42:12.127 have no for of sex education, they have no contact 0:42:12.127 --> 0:42:14.687 with the outside world, so anyone that might be able 0:42:14.687 --> 0:42:18.367 to mandatory report, they don't have words even to describe 0:42:18.367 --> 0:42:21.287 the abuse that they suffer, whether it's within the marriages 0:42:21.287 --> 0:42:23.967 that they are forced into or at the hands of 0:42:24.047 --> 0:42:26.487 other people. And in this case it was Dassy's head mistress. 0:42:27.047 --> 0:42:32.047 And it's just it's an incredible story and what she 0:42:32.087 --> 0:42:35.927 had experienced before she even met Malkhalefa was shocking and 0:42:36.087 --> 0:42:39.967 what the story ultimately is is And I cried during 0:42:40.007 --> 0:42:42.687 this interview, not during the awful parts, but at the 0:42:42.807 --> 0:42:45.567 end when I was talking to her about how she's 0:42:45.567 --> 0:42:47.647 got through it and her life and her hope and 0:42:47.687 --> 0:42:53.527 her survival. Because humans are extraordinary people extraordinary creatures, the 0:42:53.567 --> 0:42:58.367 resilience that she's shown, the hope and the optimism, and 0:42:58.447 --> 0:43:01.607 the fact that yeah, it's just it was a beautiful story. 0:43:01.607 --> 0:43:04.447 And I'm just so I'm always very very anxious about 0:43:04.447 --> 0:43:07.807 those stories because it is a big responsibility telling them 0:43:07.887 --> 0:43:10.287 in a way that does justice to them and that 0:43:10.407 --> 0:43:13.847 takes care of them, as you know, as a survivor 0:43:13.887 --> 0:43:17.167 of abuse. And yeah, it's it's a beautiful episode, and 0:43:17.527 --> 0:43:20.007 Dussy's really happy with it. So have a listen to that. 0:43:20.047 --> 0:43:21.807 We'll put a link in the show notes and in 0:43:21.847 --> 0:43:22.847 the newsletter as well. 0:43:23.687 --> 0:43:27.487 My worst is what I'm going to call the downfall, 0:43:27.647 --> 0:43:32.367 the decline, the demise of diet coke. Allow me to explain. 0:43:33.847 --> 0:43:36.567 When I was away, I go sit down. I'm not 0:43:36.687 --> 0:43:39.127 a big drinker. I might say, every now and then, 0:43:39.167 --> 0:43:40.887 can I have a diet coke? When I order or 0:43:40.927 --> 0:43:42.487 look for a diet coke, I really feel like one, 0:43:42.527 --> 0:43:44.767 and it's a real treat. But they would say, oh, 0:43:44.847 --> 0:43:47.487 coke zero, and I was like, oh, you've misunderstood. Coke 0:43:47.567 --> 0:43:50.007 zero not the same as diet coke. That it's completely different. 0:43:50.527 --> 0:43:53.127 Diet coke is a good drink. Coke zero tastes like 0:43:53.287 --> 0:43:53.807 battery us. 0:43:53.847 --> 0:43:55.447 But what's the actual difference. 0:43:56.887 --> 0:43:59.407 They have different chemicals that are not good for us, 0:43:59.807 --> 0:44:00.887 but like a different. 0:44:01.047 --> 0:44:02.967 They taste different. They taste so different. 0:44:03.447 --> 0:44:07.727 Different recipe and diet coke I'm a big fan of 0:44:07.847 --> 0:44:09.687 and that felt very big, Like ten years. 0:44:09.687 --> 0:44:10.927 They've got a very good brand. 0:44:11.047 --> 0:44:11.767 Is it diet? 0:44:13.047 --> 0:44:13.287 Yeah? 0:44:13.407 --> 0:44:16.047 But phasing it out? Is that the moral? Yes? 0:44:16.367 --> 0:44:18.327 I think they're phasing it out. So what has happened 0:44:18.327 --> 0:44:20.167 to me is I will be out and about, like 0:44:20.207 --> 0:44:21.567 I'll even be at work and I'll go, oh, go 0:44:21.567 --> 0:44:24.647 get diet coke and every shop I walk into they've 0:44:24.767 --> 0:44:27.167 just got coke zero and full strength. 0:44:27.167 --> 0:44:30.407 Do you think that's because the word diets become a negative? 0:44:31.007 --> 0:44:31.567 I wonder. 0:44:31.687 --> 0:44:35.607 I mean, coke zero sounds cool, but diet coke coke zero. 0:44:35.727 --> 0:44:38.687 Like like people get it. It's just completely different. And 0:44:38.727 --> 0:44:41.127 even I also really like pepsi max. But there are 0:44:41.127 --> 0:44:44.367 lots of people that's really mean is that diet pepsy 0:44:44.527 --> 0:44:48.127 you get your tea? There used to be and then 0:44:48.167 --> 0:44:50.247 they phase that out as well, and they think we 0:44:50.287 --> 0:44:54.567 don't notice. But people with a preference for their can 0:44:54.607 --> 0:44:57.087 of soft drink can't. We can't do a bait and 0:44:57.087 --> 0:44:58.767 switch I have an addiction. 0:44:58.847 --> 0:44:59.047 Now. 0:44:59.367 --> 0:45:01.887 I think there's not enough of you. It's like the 0:45:01.887 --> 0:45:03.967 Witchery theory, you know, like all the people that say, 0:45:03.967 --> 0:45:05.967 I know what we treat to change, Well, maybe you 0:45:05.967 --> 0:45:07.047 should have gone on board a top. 0:45:07.207 --> 0:45:08.927 Yeah, I think I think it's true. I think that 0:45:09.247 --> 0:45:11.407 poll who like diet coke need to unionize. 0:45:11.567 --> 0:45:14.287 Soft drinks are not it, Jesse, that's why. 0:45:14.527 --> 0:45:18.367 Oh you've upset everyone, and by that, I mean you've 0:45:18.447 --> 0:45:23.127 upset me. My best is I went to a concert 0:45:23.127 --> 0:45:26.487 on Saturday night out again. Go to a lot of concerts, 0:45:26.527 --> 0:45:28.407 but I went to see Missy Higgins at the IC 0:45:28.447 --> 0:45:28.847 six States. 0:45:29.407 --> 0:45:34.607 Do remember never go that fark live with. 0:45:37.167 --> 0:45:39.207 Missy friend of the pod. I really wanted to go 0:45:39.247 --> 0:45:41.447 and see that concert, but I can't sit through concerts. 0:45:41.927 --> 0:45:44.327 I felt terrible that I didn't go because I love 0:45:44.407 --> 0:45:46.247 her so much. I love listening to a music, but 0:45:46.287 --> 0:45:48.007 I can't sit and watch a constabull shot. You went 0:45:48.047 --> 0:45:49.287 to Taylor Swift different. 0:45:49.607 --> 0:45:52.767 I am dancing and I'm going the first August or 0:45:52.767 --> 0:45:54.087 second something States Theater. 0:45:53.967 --> 0:45:56.367 Something or somewhere I can away. 0:45:57.127 --> 0:45:59.407 I love her too. I think missus an out louder. 0:45:59.487 --> 0:46:04.327 Okay, I'm Missy so when I was thirteen, Miss Higgins 0:46:04.407 --> 0:46:06.047 was the first concert I ever went to. I went 0:46:06.087 --> 0:46:07.887 to Darling Harbor and I saw her. She was on 0:46:07.967 --> 0:46:10.607 like a thing in the water. That's weird your memory. Anyway, 0:46:10.767 --> 0:46:14.087 she was the first person I ever loved, and like, 0:46:14.167 --> 0:46:17.127 I really liked her music, not because everyone else liked it. 0:46:17.287 --> 0:46:18.727 Like I remember in primary school, it's like. 0:46:18.727 --> 0:46:21.887 If everyone loves Nelly Fotato, you pretend like you do. 0:46:21.967 --> 0:46:24.887 But what Missy Higgins did for me at a moment 0:46:25.007 --> 0:46:28.567 in my life to be transported back there. She said 0:46:28.567 --> 0:46:31.287 this great thing, which was like, you know, there's thousands 0:46:31.327 --> 0:46:32.967 of people in the ICC, and she was like, it's 0:46:32.967 --> 0:46:36.287 so weird that everyone's transported back to twenty years ago, 0:46:36.487 --> 0:46:39.087 whatever you were doing, wherever you were in your life. 0:46:39.127 --> 0:46:42.447 All these memories are just kind of circulating. 0:46:43.007 --> 0:46:45.407 And that album, true, it was a sad track of 0:46:45.447 --> 0:46:46.047 our life. 0:46:46.167 --> 0:46:46.607 It was. 0:46:46.927 --> 0:46:49.007 I love her music so much and did. 0:46:49.807 --> 0:46:50.567 When I had Luna. 0:46:50.647 --> 0:46:52.727 For some reason, I don't usually listen to music at home. 0:46:52.767 --> 0:46:54.927 I usually listen to podcasts, but I just sounded white. 0:46:54.927 --> 0:46:57.287 It was on and it just brought me, brought me back. 0:46:57.687 --> 0:47:01.527 And she's got this new album coming out which sounds amazing. 0:47:01.527 --> 0:47:03.887 It is all about her separation, and it reminded me 0:47:03.927 --> 0:47:06.007 of you know, Adele wrote easy on Me like and 0:47:06.087 --> 0:47:08.007 it was this soundtrack that we hadn't really heard like 0:47:08.087 --> 0:47:10.887 women talking about that periods. So that's coming out that 0:47:10.927 --> 0:47:13.407 I'm excited about. And she sung this song called Song 0:47:13.487 --> 0:47:15.647 for Sammy, which is a song she wrote like a 0:47:15.727 --> 0:47:18.887 lullaby for her first born. And anyone who is in 0:47:18.927 --> 0:47:20.647 the period of having a newborn or you've ever had 0:47:20.687 --> 0:47:23.767 a newborn, just listen to that, because I don't think 0:47:23.767 --> 0:47:26.927 I've ever heard it captured so perfectly. Like you have 0:47:27.007 --> 0:47:31.567 to listen above to hear that. 0:47:31.567 --> 0:47:34.047 That is all we've got time for today and this 0:47:34.167 --> 0:47:36.727 week out loud as we hope that you are not 0:47:36.807 --> 0:47:38.047 feeling a my year slump. 0:47:38.047 --> 0:47:39.327 We hope that. 0:47:39.367 --> 0:47:41.367 You've blown off some steam with us today and you 0:47:41.487 --> 0:47:46.447 go into a weekend feeling you know, sang win sanguin. 0:47:46.687 --> 0:47:48.287 I've never said that word out loud. 0:47:48.127 --> 0:47:53.207 Sanguine, sanguinetine. It's sanguine, sanguine, sang me. It's kind of like, 0:47:53.207 --> 0:47:54.727 what does it mean? What do you think sanguine means? 0:47:54.727 --> 0:47:56.287 It means like I think of it as being like 0:47:56.367 --> 0:48:00.207 peace reflected like sanguine exactly it. 0:48:00.327 --> 0:48:01.767 It's time for us all to have a little bit 0:48:01.847 --> 0:48:03.767 of sanguinity. 0:48:05.007 --> 0:48:06.807 Now we're just making up words. 0:48:06.487 --> 0:48:06.767 That's what. 0:48:10.287 --> 0:48:12.767 Thank you, out louders. Thank you to our amazing team. 0:48:12.847 --> 0:48:16.007 This episode was produced by Emiline Gazillas. The assistant producer 0:48:16.047 --> 0:48:18.727 is Charlie Blackman. We've had audio production from Leah. 0:48:18.487 --> 0:48:20.967 Porge's and we will see you next week. 0:48:21.087 --> 0:48:22.367 Bye bye. 0:48:26.767 --> 0:48:29.687 Shout out to any Mum and MEA subscribers listening. If 0:48:29.687 --> 0:48:31.687 you love the show and you want to support us, 0:48:31.927 --> 0:48:34.687 subscribing to Mom and Mia is the very best way 0:48:34.767 --> 0:48:37.327 to do so. There's a link in the episode description.