WEBVTT - The Lonely Influencers & ‘You Look Good For Your Age’ 0:00:03.200 --> 0:00:05.720 Welcome to Mummy, are out loud? What women are actually 0:00:05.760 --> 0:00:09.920 talking about on Friday, the twelfth of June. I'm Clare Stevens, 0:00:10.160 --> 0:00:13.160 I'm Amelia Leicester and I'm m ven M Holly Is. 0:00:13.840 --> 0:00:14.120 Guys. 0:00:14.160 --> 0:00:17.080 You may notice I'm driving and I'm pretending. I am 0:00:17.160 --> 0:00:20.520 pretending to be Hollywayne right right now. But there will 0:00:20.600 --> 0:00:22.880 be errors. I can assure you that I quite miss 0:00:22.880 --> 0:00:24.360 Holly today. 0:00:23.680 --> 0:00:26.400 Ye else, I'm missing her presence. I mean, so far, 0:00:26.480 --> 0:00:28.520 so good. You didn't stop up the day, you know. 0:00:28.640 --> 0:00:31.240 Honestly, I'm really happy she's away because this is my 0:00:31.400 --> 0:00:33.520 chance to like break into the Friday Show. 0:00:35.120 --> 0:00:42.800 We get to talk about fun things I've had recom recommend. 0:00:45.120 --> 0:00:47.720 Here's what's on our agenda for today. 0:00:48.159 --> 0:00:51.080 There's a new type of influencer that's making money by 0:00:51.120 --> 0:00:54.440 simply having no friends. 0:00:54.440 --> 0:00:57.080 In Friday Rex, there's a word of mouth hit TV 0:00:57.240 --> 0:00:59.800 show which is unlike anything else you have ever seen. 0:01:00.320 --> 0:01:03.120 Plus is you look good for your age? Actually the 0:01:03.320 --> 0:01:05.360 ultimate backhanded compliment. 0:01:05.800 --> 0:01:08.920 But first, did you have to battle for space this 0:01:09.040 --> 0:01:11.800 morning to brush your teeth and to do your morning 0:01:11.800 --> 0:01:13.120 ablutions with other people? 0:01:13.560 --> 0:01:15.800 It's so you were like me? You did Claire? 0:01:15.840 --> 0:01:18.200 Well, I live alone, So that would have been quite traumatizing. 0:01:18.280 --> 0:01:21.119 If you like, hello, someone in here. 0:01:21.600 --> 0:01:25.039 Well, Claire, you and I are just like celebrities, or 0:01:25.080 --> 0:01:28.840 at least some celebrities. Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson, who 0:01:28.840 --> 0:01:30.319 have been married for thirty eight years. 0:01:30.440 --> 0:01:32.440 They look like a very happy couple. 0:01:32.959 --> 0:01:35.320 People are always asking them the secret to why they've 0:01:35.319 --> 0:01:38.399 been married for so long, and Rita recently gave a 0:01:38.560 --> 0:01:42.920 very unexpected answer, and that is a shared bathroom. Sounds 0:01:42.959 --> 0:01:45.720 kind of counterintuitive, but she explains that it's where you 0:01:45.800 --> 0:01:48.040 laugh about what you're doing in the mornings, you're thinking 0:01:48.120 --> 0:01:50.600 about what you're doing that day, maybe you make some 0:01:50.640 --> 0:01:53.080 plans to meet up later. It kind of makes sense 0:01:53.080 --> 0:01:55.920 when she explains it. Now, this is a controversial perspective 0:01:56.000 --> 0:02:00.160 because other celebrities disagree. Take Michelle Obama. She and Ack 0:02:00.160 --> 0:02:02.280 Obama have been married for thirty three years, and here 0:02:02.320 --> 0:02:05.080 she is on the Today Show talking about the secret 0:02:05.120 --> 0:02:06.360 to their long marriage. 0:02:06.640 --> 0:02:09.160 Now, one of the keys to a successful marriage is 0:02:09.280 --> 0:02:10.200 separate bathroom. 0:02:11.200 --> 0:02:13.800 So it's a lot when he enters my bathroom. Sometimes 0:02:13.840 --> 0:02:14.720 I'm like, why. 0:02:14.560 --> 0:02:16.120 Are you in here? What are you doing? 0:02:16.240 --> 0:02:18.760 And he's like, I live here, Can I enjoy my 0:02:18.880 --> 0:02:22.880 bathroom too. One celebrity who I guess kind of splits 0:02:22.880 --> 0:02:25.040 the difference on this very important topic that I've been 0:02:25.120 --> 0:02:27.120 dying to talk about on a Friday show for a 0:02:27.160 --> 0:02:30.800 long time is Megan Trainer. All about that base. She 0:02:31.080 --> 0:02:34.560 and her husband, Darryl Sabara have been married for eight years. 0:02:34.600 --> 0:02:36.560 I learned today that he is the little kid in 0:02:36.600 --> 0:02:37.800 the express. 0:02:37.919 --> 0:02:39.440 Oh he does buy kids as well. 0:02:39.600 --> 0:02:42.040 Oh, okay, there you go. I knew it was someone 0:02:42.080 --> 0:02:43.480 I just never bothered to look it up. 0:02:43.600 --> 0:02:46.480 And she, of course is in the infamous mothers group 0:02:46.720 --> 0:02:49.720 that yeah yeah, created a lot of headlines earlier this 0:02:49.800 --> 0:02:53.600 year for being mean girls. Anyway, they got two toilets 0:02:53.680 --> 0:02:57.600 installed side by side after their first child. In the 0:02:57.639 --> 0:03:02.440 same interview with Kiss La Fa, she mentioned that her 0:03:02.520 --> 0:03:06.520 husband sits when he urinates, which I did not know 0:03:06.680 --> 0:03:10.600 men did that, and that they often pee at the 0:03:10.600 --> 0:03:13.920 same time. But Megan assures us, and this is a 0:03:13.960 --> 0:03:17.600 direct quote, we don't poop together. I am so glad 0:03:17.639 --> 0:03:21.160 she clarified that. And also do men often sit to pee? 0:03:21.200 --> 0:03:24.399 No, I thought that was the weird ones. I did 0:03:24.440 --> 0:03:26.680 want to say that I'm confused by that. It's like 0:03:26.720 --> 0:03:32.200 he's not paying honey, he scrolling on his But how 0:03:32.280 --> 0:03:33.640 is it going for you? And Rory? 0:03:34.320 --> 0:03:37.240 Do you think you'll get a second toilet installed after 0:03:37.280 --> 0:03:39.760 this baby comes, like next year the first one? 0:03:39.880 --> 0:03:40.920 That's a great question. 0:03:42.680 --> 0:03:44.920 The layout of our bathroom is such that there is 0:03:44.920 --> 0:03:50.960 not room to move, let alone put another toilet, as 0:03:51.040 --> 0:03:54.560 much as I would love one. So we share our 0:03:54.600 --> 0:03:57.680 one bathroom between the two of us and a toddler, 0:03:57.960 --> 0:03:59.760 and there's going to be so we're going to be 0:03:59.800 --> 0:04:01.520 a fan family of four with one bathroom. 0:04:02.320 --> 0:04:05.520 And it hadn't always been that way. 0:04:06.040 --> 0:04:09.400 So when I first moved out of home, I lived 0:04:09.520 --> 0:04:14.040 with me Jesse and Rory. And Jesse and I shared 0:04:14.080 --> 0:04:17.680 a bathroom and Rory had one to hear because I 0:04:17.839 --> 0:04:20.400 liked stealing her beauty products and she had nice things 0:04:20.440 --> 0:04:21.600 from the shower. 0:04:21.279 --> 0:04:21.880 And so on. 0:04:22.360 --> 0:04:24.039 And sometimes she would yell at me and be like, 0:04:24.120 --> 0:04:27.359 can you share with your like very long term partner, 0:04:27.720 --> 0:04:28.359 like that would. 0:04:28.200 --> 0:04:29.800 Be the more conventional a region. 0:04:29.960 --> 0:04:32.479 Yeah, but I'm go, I guess beard hair everywhere and 0:04:32.520 --> 0:04:35.719 he's like and he's soap caked on to the side. 0:04:36.600 --> 0:04:40.039 But I do think that there is such a luxury 0:04:40.240 --> 0:04:44.000 in not sharing. However, the more I read about this, 0:04:44.400 --> 0:04:47.080 the more I thought, there's something quite beautiful about what 0:04:47.120 --> 0:04:49.359 happens when you share a bathroom with someone, and that 0:04:49.520 --> 0:04:52.400 is that you really see who they are. 0:04:52.520 --> 0:04:54.080 You see the essence of who they are. 0:04:54.120 --> 0:04:58.800 I think that there's something that brings you closer in 0:04:59.000 --> 0:05:01.800 a way. You may not want to be that close, 0:05:02.160 --> 0:05:04.679 but I think it pays off. 0:05:05.080 --> 0:05:06.240 I really do. 0:05:06.440 --> 0:05:08.839 No one needs to see me in a bathroom. I 0:05:08.960 --> 0:05:11.479 promise you you don't need. What really annoyed me is 0:05:11.520 --> 0:05:16.760 that Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson can afford at least 0:05:16.760 --> 0:05:17.960 two bathrooms. 0:05:17.960 --> 0:05:18.839 Why it's adorable. 0:05:18.960 --> 0:05:20.120 It's not adorable. 0:05:20.240 --> 0:05:22.160 I was like, what too? 0:05:22.440 --> 0:05:22.520 Like? 0:05:22.880 --> 0:05:26.120 I know they could have a bathroom each and then 0:05:26.160 --> 0:05:30.039 an extra bathroom just in case. I like living with someone, 0:05:30.120 --> 0:05:32.960 my biggest fears having to share a bathroom with them, 0:05:33.040 --> 0:05:37.240 And because of Sydney prices, I know that the rest 0:05:37.240 --> 0:05:39.560 of my life I will probably be sharing a bathroom 0:05:39.560 --> 0:05:44.960 with someone else. And I love my own like solutude 0:05:45.040 --> 0:05:48.919 time in a bathroom. I like doing my toilet stuff 0:05:48.920 --> 0:05:51.320 in there by myself. I also live in a studio, 0:05:51.440 --> 0:05:53.200 so my bathroom door is the only door I have 0:05:53.400 --> 0:05:55.840 in my whole place. I love being at my sink 0:05:55.880 --> 0:05:58.600 by myself. I love showering, I love doing my skincare, 0:05:58.920 --> 0:06:02.040 and then when I come I'm a different person when 0:06:02.080 --> 0:06:04.920 I leave the bathroom, and I don't need someone else 0:06:04.960 --> 0:06:05.599 to witness that. 0:06:05.720 --> 0:06:06.840 I've got bad news for you. 0:06:06.920 --> 0:06:10.560 And because Catherine Jesus Morton, who writes the fabulous Brooding 0:06:10.600 --> 0:06:14.520 column in The Cut, she just this week wrote a 0:06:14.640 --> 0:06:18.440 defense of the shared bathroom, and in it she argues 0:06:18.720 --> 0:06:21.880 that in order to have healthy adult relationships, you have 0:06:22.000 --> 0:06:25.880 to eventually learn how to deal with each other's gross 0:06:26.160 --> 0:06:28.560 physical body stuff in bathrooms. 0:06:28.600 --> 0:06:30.839 No, she says, even. 0:06:30.600 --> 0:06:32.560 Those of us who are most committed to the bit 0:06:32.600 --> 0:06:36.200 that our partners don't shit eventually have to accept the truth. 0:06:36.400 --> 0:06:40.120 This is basically what it means to acquire maturity, to 0:06:40.240 --> 0:06:43.320 accept that we can't control everything and that everyone has 0:06:43.320 --> 0:06:45.440 a private body made of the same materials. 0:06:45.880 --> 0:06:48.200 Okay, what happens if you both get gastro. 0:06:49.040 --> 0:06:50.680 It's actually really bonding. 0:06:51.880 --> 0:06:55.920 It's actually really profound how close you become. I honestly 0:06:55.960 --> 0:06:58.120 reckon Rory and I still talk about it. One of 0:06:58.160 --> 0:07:00.839 the most like we've been together for so long and 0:07:00.920 --> 0:07:04.719 yet one of the most bonding experiences that we have 0:07:04.880 --> 0:07:08.200 had was after I gave birth to Matilda and Amelia, 0:07:08.240 --> 0:07:11.160 you would know a lot happen. You see a lot, 0:07:11.640 --> 0:07:14.360 you're just there's a lot of smell. It's a lot, 0:07:14.760 --> 0:07:18.480 and there's one bathroom. And because I was scared of 0:07:18.520 --> 0:07:20.800 going to the toilet, I said, I'm gonna keep this, 0:07:21.000 --> 0:07:23.200 but I'm gonna keep this open because I'm scared and 0:07:23.240 --> 0:07:24.600 I need to talk to you while I go to 0:07:24.640 --> 0:07:26.440 the toilet. And we came out. 0:07:26.280 --> 0:07:29.320 Of that being like this we unlocked a new level. 0:07:29.840 --> 0:07:33.160 We unlocked a new level of love, and I reckon 0:07:33.240 --> 0:07:37.720 Otherwise you get to what illness, you get to old 0:07:37.760 --> 0:07:40.960 age and you're like, ooh, I don't want to smell 0:07:41.000 --> 0:07:44.760 your incontinence, and it's like, well, you're gonna. 0:07:44.480 --> 0:07:46.120 Have to, because we're all headed that way. 0:07:47.080 --> 0:07:50.800 It's broadly understood as a compliment that everyone over a 0:07:50.800 --> 0:07:54.200 certain age wants to hear you look so good for 0:07:54.280 --> 0:07:57.920 your age, or you don't look your age, or if 0:07:57.960 --> 0:08:00.360 you're a psychopath, you play a game with someone where 0:08:00.400 --> 0:08:02.040 you say how old do I look? And I say 0:08:02.080 --> 0:08:05.160 twenty five and you say what, I'm actually seventy, And 0:08:05.200 --> 0:08:11.960 it's like happens all the time, And in a culture 0:08:12.000 --> 0:08:14.840 obsessed with aging, it's no surprise that so many of 0:08:14.920 --> 0:08:17.920 us like to hear that we look younger than we 0:08:17.960 --> 0:08:21.760 actually are. Like, if you're looking at beauty products so 0:08:21.840 --> 0:08:24.600 often you're looking at anti aging stuff. So it's like, 0:08:24.640 --> 0:08:27.480 why wouldn't I want to hear that. I guess it's working. 0:08:27.720 --> 0:08:31.640 I always think with the amount of anti aging products 0:08:31.680 --> 0:08:34.000 there are, you know how every anti aging product you buy, 0:08:34.080 --> 0:08:38.200 it's like, this makes you look like X years younger 0:08:38.280 --> 0:08:40.720 in a week. I'm like, I should be a newborn 0:08:40.960 --> 0:08:43.640 at the point from how much I've spent on this stuff. 0:08:43.679 --> 0:08:44.120 Anyway. 0:08:44.720 --> 0:08:48.120 A recent article in Vogue by Poona Bell titled stop 0:08:48.200 --> 0:08:50.720 telling Me I look good for my age shared a 0:08:50.800 --> 0:08:54.599 very different perspective on this. She said that she was 0:08:54.640 --> 0:08:56.719 at a bar with a group of friends that were 0:08:56.720 --> 0:08:59.720 all in their thirties and forties, and she was actively 0:08:59.720 --> 0:09:03.400 trying to flirt, and then she clocked that everyone around 0:09:03.480 --> 0:09:07.600 them was fifteen to twenty years younger than her. She 0:09:08.120 --> 0:09:11.240 acknowledged that everyone was too young for her own interests, 0:09:11.320 --> 0:09:13.719 and another woman at the table, who was younger than 0:09:13.760 --> 0:09:16.880 Belle said, you don't look your age, though, and the 0:09:16.920 --> 0:09:18.960 others chimed in to agree, and it became a whole 0:09:19.559 --> 0:09:25.000 group conversation and respect to our friend Porner, she was like, 0:09:26.080 --> 0:09:28.160 why am I pissed off? I'm going to prosecute why 0:09:28.160 --> 0:09:30.880 I'm pissed off by that comment, which is my favorite 0:09:30.920 --> 0:09:34.760 when somebody when somebody you're out to drinks and someone's like, 0:09:34.800 --> 0:09:36.280 I'm annoyed, I'm annoyed. 0:09:36.400 --> 0:09:38.640 Let me explain, let me break it down. 0:09:38.679 --> 0:09:42.439 So she was like, I wasn't being self deprecating. I'm 0:09:42.480 --> 0:09:46.520 genuinely not interested in dating or hooking up with younger people. 0:09:47.240 --> 0:09:50.600 And the reassurance that I don't look my age is 0:09:51.559 --> 0:09:54.360 seeped in ageism and the fact that why on earth 0:09:54.360 --> 0:09:57.680 would I want to even though I'm very happy with 0:09:57.760 --> 0:10:01.000 where I am in life, And she said, I don't 0:10:01.040 --> 0:10:03.640 want to cosplay as a younger person. 0:10:03.800 --> 0:10:06.240 I'm more confident I like myself. 0:10:06.440 --> 0:10:11.760 And I thought it was a really fascinating insight into 0:10:11.800 --> 0:10:14.480 the fact that not everybody is walking around wanting to 0:10:15.240 --> 0:10:19.120 be told they look twenty five when they're not. Amelia, 0:10:19.200 --> 0:10:23.520 I have absolutely no idea how old you are, but 0:10:23.640 --> 0:10:25.520 you look beautiful for your age. 0:10:26.880 --> 0:10:28.920 First of all, being told you have absolutely no idea 0:10:28.960 --> 0:10:30.560 how old I am. I'm just going to take that 0:10:30.640 --> 0:10:33.080 as a great compliment, Like, for some reason, it just 0:10:33.120 --> 0:10:36.000 really makes me feel good to be enigmatic and the serious. 0:10:35.720 --> 0:10:36.640 So you are as serious. 0:10:37.360 --> 0:10:40.880 Second of all, I am also glad that she unpacked. 0:10:40.880 --> 0:10:43.440 Why this made her feel weird because a colleague said 0:10:43.440 --> 0:10:46.160 to me just recently, I got a haircut and this 0:10:46.240 --> 0:10:50.040 colleague said to me, oh, it's taken ten years off you, 0:10:50.480 --> 0:10:51.079 and that. 0:10:50.960 --> 0:10:56.240 Made me feel weird. Yeah, why why did that make 0:10:56.280 --> 0:10:57.240 me feel weird? 0:10:57.880 --> 0:11:00.360 It could because you're like, take ten years off me, 0:11:00.520 --> 0:11:01.480 that would make me fine. 0:11:01.880 --> 0:11:04.600 Yeah, that was part of that's for sure. 0:11:06.640 --> 0:11:09.480 And then I got thinking about how when when I 0:11:09.520 --> 0:11:13.840 remember that when I was in my teens and twenties, 0:11:14.280 --> 0:11:16.560 I didn't want to be told I looked young. 0:11:16.640 --> 0:11:18.480 But then at what point. 0:11:18.280 --> 0:11:22.439 Do you switch over to actually seeking out the comments 0:11:22.480 --> 0:11:26.079 about looking young? And you you famously just turned thirty. 0:11:26.160 --> 0:11:28.440 I famously just turned thirty, And I. 0:11:28.320 --> 0:11:30.360 Feel like, where are you on that divide now? 0:11:30.440 --> 0:11:32.959 It was probably the last few years where I've been 0:11:33.120 --> 0:11:37.040 so aware of my age and getting older, and I 0:11:37.080 --> 0:11:42.679 can pinpoint the exact instance. It was last year I 0:11:42.760 --> 0:11:46.480 was twenty nine and I was hosting a trivia night 0:11:46.760 --> 0:11:50.360 for some people, kind of my side gig. 0:11:54.120 --> 0:11:56.120 I expected that an don't just start. 0:11:57.040 --> 0:11:59.600 It's not a side gig. I think someone just thought 0:11:59.600 --> 0:12:01.200 I was fine and was like, you might hosting the 0:12:01.240 --> 0:12:03.120 trivia night, and I was like, yeah, you know what, 0:12:03.200 --> 0:12:05.920 I'll do it. So we did the trivia night. It 0:12:06.000 --> 0:12:08.040 was with a lot of the people playing were like 0:12:08.120 --> 0:12:11.120 younger men, and it got to a point where there 0:12:11.120 --> 0:12:14.200 were two teams who both had like the same amount 0:12:14.200 --> 0:12:17.240 of points, and the person who was organizing the trivia 0:12:17.320 --> 0:12:21.000 night didn't really have a plan for what to do, 0:12:21.280 --> 0:12:25.000 so they were like, okay, breaking point, guess Emily's age, 0:12:25.160 --> 0:12:26.800 and whichever team is the closest. 0:12:26.920 --> 0:12:30.920 W oh god. You were doing this as a. 0:12:33.120 --> 0:12:35.280 And that was the first time. I feel like if 0:12:35.320 --> 0:12:37.839 this had happened even three years earlier, I would have 0:12:37.840 --> 0:12:39.800 been like, yeah, that's a fun, fun thing they've not 0:12:39.920 --> 0:12:40.240 heard of. 0:12:40.320 --> 0:12:42.959 Asking how many people survived the Titanic. 0:12:44.480 --> 0:12:46.240 And I was just sitting there and I was watching. 0:12:46.640 --> 0:12:49.440 I was watching these guys kind of like look at me, 0:12:49.559 --> 0:12:52.600 and I'm sitting there in the host chair like analyzing 0:12:52.640 --> 0:12:55.920 my face. And I walked past the table of these 0:12:55.960 --> 0:12:58.400 group of boys and they were like, oh, she's got 0:12:58.440 --> 0:13:01.520 to be somewhere in her thirties a lah, and then 0:13:01.920 --> 0:13:06.840 no one guessed my age. Everyone gets older, and I 0:13:06.880 --> 0:13:09.199 had got a full complex about it. 0:13:09.640 --> 0:13:11.320 I never host trivia again. 0:13:11.240 --> 0:13:16.240 Never hosting again. I've lost that friendship. Not but it 0:13:16.360 --> 0:13:17.839 fully gave me a complex. And I think it was 0:13:17.880 --> 0:13:20.680 also because it was men, mostly men, getting my age. 0:13:20.800 --> 0:13:23.720 The ones that were closer to twenty nine were the 0:13:23.760 --> 0:13:26.800 ones who had girls on their team, and it fully 0:13:26.840 --> 0:13:28.679 made me smile. But that was the first time where 0:13:28.720 --> 0:13:31.160 I was like, oh my god, I'm so aware of 0:13:31.200 --> 0:13:31.959 how old I am. 0:13:32.120 --> 0:13:34.760 I have read, No, I don't know if this is true, 0:13:34.920 --> 0:13:38.120 but I have read that you can with a lot 0:13:38.160 --> 0:13:42.199 of accuracy tell what age someone is if they are 0:13:42.240 --> 0:13:45.400 younger than you, but if it's someone who is older 0:13:45.440 --> 0:13:48.280 than you, you got no idea, Like you lack the 0:13:48.440 --> 0:13:50.000 sort of coordinates to tell. 0:13:50.080 --> 0:13:51.040 Do you think that's true? 0:13:51.160 --> 0:13:54.720 Yeah, yeah, Like I can always like vibe wise, I 0:13:54.800 --> 0:13:58.720 always know when someone's younger than me, although I don't 0:13:58.720 --> 0:13:59.960 know if they're twenty one or twenty two. 0:14:00.080 --> 0:14:02.599 Here's the other thing about it, Like whatever age is 0:14:02.640 --> 0:14:05.400 older than yours, it's really just a big mass. So 0:14:05.679 --> 0:14:10.240 right now I'm around forty and everyone who's like say, 0:14:10.320 --> 0:14:13.640 fifty on, I'm just like, I have no idea, yeah yeah, 0:14:13.640 --> 0:14:16.360 but whereas below forty, I feel each one of those 0:14:16.400 --> 0:14:17.520 ages acutely. 0:14:17.920 --> 0:14:20.560 Yeah, because you went through it, you know, and I 0:14:21.080 --> 0:14:23.440 feel the same. I feel like similar to you, Claire. 0:14:23.880 --> 0:14:27.320 Right now, anyone in their twenties are just in their twenties, 0:14:27.360 --> 0:14:30.960 like I can't actually see the difference between twenty one, 0:14:31.120 --> 0:14:34.960 twenty five, twenty seven. But when I was in my twenties, 0:14:35.160 --> 0:14:38.360 I was so aware of the early twenties, mid twenties, 0:14:38.480 --> 0:14:42.240 late twenties because I felt like complete different eras of 0:14:42.280 --> 0:14:46.360 my time. And now it's that age where when I'm 0:14:46.400 --> 0:14:49.760 thirty and I tell people I'm thirty, the first thing 0:14:49.800 --> 0:14:52.280 they go is, you're so young. You're so young. It's 0:14:52.280 --> 0:14:53.200 more of like a dim worry. 0:14:53.360 --> 0:14:54.360 I said that to you. 0:14:54.440 --> 0:14:56.840 I'm so sorry to They also tell you look for 0:14:56.880 --> 0:14:57.600 your age. 0:14:57.600 --> 0:15:01.200 I think, but it's coming back to your haircut thing. Yes, 0:15:01.320 --> 0:15:04.320 I have a feeling that you felt when someone told 0:15:04.360 --> 0:15:06.800 you you look what you look so much younger. 0:15:06.880 --> 0:15:09.280 She said, it's taken ten years and by the way 0:15:09.440 --> 0:15:11.680 she meant, well, it just. 0:15:11.840 --> 0:15:13.080 Did not hit right with me. 0:15:13.240 --> 0:15:15.680 But I think it comes to when someone makes an 0:15:15.720 --> 0:15:18.920 alteration to their appearance is done so because you want 0:15:18.960 --> 0:15:21.640 to look younger, and sometimes you just want a haircut. 0:15:22.040 --> 0:15:26.600 Yes, yes, it is that. That's exactly what Belle said 0:15:26.760 --> 0:15:31.880 in her article. But basically, when when her friends were 0:15:31.880 --> 0:15:36.920 saying you don't look your age, she felt like her 0:15:37.200 --> 0:15:40.600 she felt very observed, which is I think how you 0:15:40.800 --> 0:15:43.600 felt that people are looking at you and analyzing like 0:15:44.080 --> 0:15:45.280 does her face move? 0:15:45.480 --> 0:15:48.720 Does like I'm using some objective yardstick of what that 0:15:48.800 --> 0:15:49.840 age should look. 0:15:49.720 --> 0:15:55.880 Like exactly, and that the arbitrary standard of beauty is youth, 0:15:56.600 --> 0:16:01.640 and I don't fully subscribe to that. Like I have 0:16:01.760 --> 0:16:05.560 a lot of conversations with friends where we sit around 0:16:06.080 --> 0:16:08.960 and we will we'll sometimes look at photos of ourselves 0:16:09.000 --> 0:16:12.360 in like you know, when we were twenty and in 0:16:12.400 --> 0:16:14.320 Europe and that kind of thing and be like lol, 0:16:14.960 --> 0:16:18.320 but we all are like no, no, no, no, we are. 0:16:19.400 --> 0:16:22.120 The thing about being young is that you haven't figured 0:16:22.120 --> 0:16:24.960 out how to style yourself or anything like that. So 0:16:25.040 --> 0:16:27.160 we all say to each other like, we actually look 0:16:27.200 --> 0:16:30.560 our best now because we figured out like not to 0:16:30.560 --> 0:16:34.400 take risks with the hair, and to like how to 0:16:34.560 --> 0:16:38.680 dress and just how to be less weird and figured 0:16:38.720 --> 0:16:41.120 out a lot of our neuroses, and so it is 0:16:41.240 --> 0:16:48.680 when somebody implies that basically you don't look your age, 0:16:48.760 --> 0:16:50.560 that they think you look younger. 0:16:50.400 --> 0:16:52.200 I'm like, I don't want to be any younger. 0:16:52.400 --> 0:16:54.440 I don't want to be any younger because I wasn't 0:16:55.120 --> 0:16:59.000 I wasn't me, and I wasn't confident, and I don't 0:16:59.080 --> 0:17:01.040 consider myself. 0:17:01.080 --> 0:17:05.040 That said, I want to gauge whether you guys think 0:17:05.040 --> 0:17:08.760 it's okay to ask someone how old they are, because yes, 0:17:08.880 --> 0:17:12.399 I agree Claire that it's not like everything that you 0:17:12.560 --> 0:17:15.320 do after a certain age is about trying to look young. 0:17:16.000 --> 0:17:18.960 But I think that the problem with asking someone how 0:17:19.000 --> 0:17:21.360 old they are is that there is no right way 0:17:21.400 --> 0:17:23.800 to respond, because if you want to avoid this, you 0:17:23.840 --> 0:17:25.399 look with your age. What are you meant to do? 0:17:25.520 --> 0:17:27.399 Like it's an age? What are you meant to say? 0:17:27.840 --> 0:17:29.959 And that's why I don't think you should ask that question. 0:17:30.760 --> 0:17:33.399 I don't think you should ask the question. But I 0:17:33.480 --> 0:17:36.720 really want to know. Yes, I want to know how 0:17:37.040 --> 0:17:39.439 everyone is. And I think that's a fully like self 0:17:39.480 --> 0:17:42.320 indulgent wanting to know because I just want to compare 0:17:42.720 --> 0:17:45.879 my life to your life and see what you've achieved 0:17:45.960 --> 0:17:48.119 up until that age. Compared to what I'm achieving up 0:17:48.200 --> 0:17:51.200 until that age. I do this all the time during 0:17:51.240 --> 0:17:55.240 the Olympics. The last Olympics of the twenty twenty four 0:17:55.440 --> 0:17:58.959 Paris Olympics was the first Olympics where most of the 0:17:59.040 --> 0:18:00.440 athletes were youngnger than me. 0:18:01.119 --> 0:18:02.640 And I think that's a turning point. 0:18:02.640 --> 0:18:04.560 It's a turning point because you grow up as a 0:18:04.640 --> 0:18:07.000 kid and you're like, I could be that, I could 0:18:07.040 --> 0:18:10.160 do that, and then you're suddenly thirty and you're like, oh, 0:18:10.200 --> 0:18:12.800 I guess I'm not going to be an Olympian. That 0:18:12.920 --> 0:18:15.600 ship set, it's not going to happen. I also remember, 0:18:16.000 --> 0:18:19.760 so specifically the first celebrity I knew that was younger 0:18:19.760 --> 0:18:22.400 than me, and it was Lord Oh and we were 0:18:22.400 --> 0:18:24.400 born in the same year, but she was I think 0:18:24.440 --> 0:18:27.000 six months younger than me. And I was sixteen and 0:18:27.040 --> 0:18:30.200 she was fifteen, and I just saw this girl going. 0:18:30.240 --> 0:18:32.560 And up until then, all my favorite celebrities, all the 0:18:32.560 --> 0:18:34.480 pop stars, were all older than me. And I was like, oh, 0:18:34.520 --> 0:18:36.240 I have time. I have time to be a pop star. 0:18:36.640 --> 0:18:39.119 And then Lord was out with Taylor Swift, she was 0:18:39.200 --> 0:18:42.720 making Royals, she was doing these big stadium tours. Looked 0:18:42.800 --> 0:18:45.399 up her age fifteen years old, and I my whole 0:18:45.440 --> 0:18:46.440 world had crashed down. 0:18:46.600 --> 0:18:50.760 Good barometer. I remember the celebrity for me was Nicki Webster. 0:18:51.119 --> 0:18:56.679 Oh wow, yeah, Strawberry Kiss is famous and younger than me. 0:18:56.840 --> 0:18:58.000 How is this possibly? 0:18:58.040 --> 0:18:58.240 Say? 0:18:58.359 --> 0:19:02.920 Mine? Mine is is Emma Watson. Oh so her being hermione? 0:19:02.960 --> 0:19:05.639 I was like, how she got her Hollywood career already 0:19:05.840 --> 0:19:08.120 and I'm just here. And then every time she does 0:19:08.160 --> 0:19:10.840 something really impressive, like gives a speech at the un 0:19:10.880 --> 0:19:13.120 I'm like, you're still still going strong vibe. 0:19:13.160 --> 0:19:14.119 I still go on strong. 0:19:14.119 --> 0:19:16.040 It's like I feel like that's when you as a kid, 0:19:16.080 --> 0:19:17.959 You're just like, oh no, I have to lock in, 0:19:18.640 --> 0:19:21.000 like it's no more a dream, like people are actually 0:19:21.040 --> 0:19:21.439 doing this. 0:19:22.720 --> 0:19:25.440 But the one thing I will say about this article, 0:19:25.640 --> 0:19:29.320 and I am finding it more and more. And it's 0:19:29.440 --> 0:19:33.359 because I spend too much time on the internet. I 0:19:33.400 --> 0:19:39.920 get a bit uncomfortable with policing little offhanded comments and 0:19:40.000 --> 0:19:45.240 like headlines slash articles that are about don't say this 0:19:45.800 --> 0:19:48.480 because I find myself in social situation. I think it 0:19:48.480 --> 0:19:53.480 contributes to social anxiety massively. And you could simply say 0:19:53.480 --> 0:19:55.840 something like that, it comes out and then you're left 0:19:56.160 --> 0:19:59.480 questioning it for days and days and days when most 0:19:59.520 --> 0:20:02.480 people you ask about their age or say oh you 0:20:02.520 --> 0:20:05.560 look really good or whatever, aren't going to think about it. 0:20:06.320 --> 0:20:09.640