Speaker 1: You're listening to a Mother Me podcast.
Speaker 2: Hello, and welcome to Beers in Box. I'm M ven
Speaker 2: M and I'm a Taurus, which apparently means as a
Speaker 2: work colleague, I'm patient, reliable, and steady, and I think
Speaker 2: all of our producers here can attest that that is
Speaker 2: extremely inaccurate.
Speaker 3: And I'm so first.
Speaker 1: I know this makes me sound very uncool, but I
Speaker 1: actually don't believe in star science.
Speaker 2: It is that bad controversial.
Speaker 1: We do.
Speaker 2: We know, girlies in the office.
Speaker 1: I know what makes me uncool, especially like I'm a
Speaker 1: gen Z coach Gensey very much into star Science. For
Speaker 1: the record, I am a virgo though, and I'm told
Speaker 1: in terms of work, we apparently take pride and strongly
Speaker 1: identify in our work.
Speaker 2: I feel like that's you.
Speaker 3: I don't believe it. M our. Other co host Michelle
Speaker 3: Batters view.
Speaker 1: Is an aries what do the stars say about her
Speaker 1: work life?
Speaker 2: It says that she's independent, self asshured and full of ideas,
Speaker 2: which I feel like is her in a nutshell? Yeah,
Speaker 2: maybe you should believe into star signs.
Speaker 3: I know, I know.
Speaker 2: Okay, So every week for Inbox, we answer your burning
Speaker 2: career questions in the simplest way possible because we're busy
Speaker 2: and we know you're busy as well. We don't sugarcoat.
Speaker 2: We get straight to the answers without the need of
Speaker 2: a corporate translator. M.
Speaker 1: This week we're nailing the art of small talk, feeling
Speaker 1: more secure in our jobs, and figuring out how.
Speaker 3: To break the work colleague threshold.
Speaker 2: So jumping straight into it this week. So if we
Speaker 2: received this question from Marli.
Speaker 3: What do I talk about when I find myself standing
Speaker 3: next to the big boss in the coffee line?
Speaker 1: On No, This question makes me laugh because m do
Speaker 1: you remember the first time I met you?
Speaker 2: And I do Mia Friedman.
Speaker 1: Who's the big boss of Mum and Mia. She actually
Speaker 1: told this story about how she was in the elevator
Speaker 1: with you, and you know, she said, hi, am, how
Speaker 1: are you going? And she, you know, asked you some
Speaker 1: questions and then she stopped and she waited and she
Speaker 1: stayed silent, and she waited for you to say something
Speaker 1: because it was your turn to talk, and you didn't
Speaker 1: say anything, and then the doors opened.
Speaker 4: You got how the elevator walked off And I was like,
Speaker 4: that's such a boss move, because if that was me,
Speaker 4: I would have been, you know, taking every opportunity to
Speaker 4: ask a million questions, sort of sucking up to the
Speaker 4: big boss of it.
Speaker 1: So I'm keen to hear what's your approach to this?
Speaker 2: Oh my god, she loves telling the story. What she
Speaker 2: forgets to say is that I was extremely hungover that
Speaker 2: morning and they physically could not say any words. Well actually,
Speaker 2: which I feel like I'm throwing myself under the bus,
Speaker 2: because I actually do have another small talk story with
Speaker 2: other co founder Mom and Mia Jason. It was during
Speaker 2: a MoMA mea Christmas party and I think the attire
Speaker 2: of the party was like we're out of lawn bowls
Speaker 2: and he was wearing a cricket hat and we found
Speaker 2: ourselves like it was just me and him waiting in
Speaker 2: line at the bar, and I was like, oh, we
Speaker 2: probably have to make conversation. How do I do this?
Speaker 2: He was fine, just not talking to me, by the way,
Speaker 2: So I really put myself in this situation. He was
Speaker 2: wearing the cricket hat and that's all I could think about.
Speaker 2: So I was like, hey, Ja, so I really like
Speaker 2: your cricket hat and he was like, thanks, Sam. I
Speaker 2: had no idea what to say next, so I just
Speaker 2: started listing cricketers that I knew, and I don't know
Speaker 2: that many, so I just started saying, yep, Adam Zampa
Speaker 2: throughout Coli pat Commons, and he was like, yep, yep,
Speaker 2: they're all cricketers. And then I was like, it's shame
Speaker 2: about Shane Warn. He was like, yep, it's a shame.
Speaker 2: And then I got my drink and I ran out
Speaker 2: of there. It was a little wor I think about
Speaker 2: this moment like at least once a month.
Speaker 1: See, that's funny because I actually rate what you just did.
Speaker 3: Oh let me no, I rate that.
Speaker 1: Let me tell you why. First of all, the worst
Speaker 1: thing that you can do is feel so nervous to
Speaker 1: talk to a big boss that you actually just don't
Speaker 1: do it at all. So a lot of people will
Speaker 1: kind of not take that opportunity. But don't make the
Speaker 1: mistake that I always made in my career, which is
Speaker 1: you're so desperate to talk to them that you just
Speaker 1: come across as really fawning and like trying way too hard.
Speaker 1: I like to sort of say, you know, this boss
Speaker 1: is a human and it actually helps them to get
Speaker 1: to know younger people in the company, and anyone in
Speaker 1: the company so it's not just like they're this amazing
Speaker 1: person and you're just trying to not screw it up
Speaker 1: and just like ask the right questions. It's like it's
Speaker 1: in their interest to get to know you as well.
Speaker 1: So I always just like to take a pretty simple
Speaker 1: approach to this, which is, if you do find yourself
Speaker 1: standing next to the big boss in the coffee line
Speaker 1: and you've got this opportunity to talk to someone number one,
Speaker 1: just like try to get a little bit of a
Speaker 1: vibe with them, try to create some kind of connection.
Speaker 1: And so I've got a couple of go tos that
Speaker 1: I use, but it is helpful to introduce yourself and
Speaker 1: remind them of your name. Depending on how big your
Speaker 1: company is, they might not know who you are. So like,
Speaker 1: you know, I'm Sophie. I work in marketing, and my
Speaker 1: go to question I just love to say, you know
Speaker 1: what's big for you this week and just kind of
Speaker 1: drive funny yeah, because then you get just like a
Speaker 1: little piece of little nugget of information from them, and
Speaker 1: just remember that they might tell you something about their
Speaker 1: personal life or something work related.
Speaker 3: Try and remember that for next time you chat to them.
Speaker 1: And then the other thing that I love doing is.
Speaker 1: You know, often they will say what are you working
Speaker 1: on right now?
Speaker 3: And it's a weirdly hard question to answer.
Speaker 1: Because you're like, I'm working on forty things. Which of
Speaker 1: these things do I say? And like you won't even understand,
Speaker 1: So I.
Speaker 3: Like, don't laugh at me, but I say this. I
Speaker 3: used to practice on my way to work, and I.
Speaker 1: Would always just have like a couple of bullet points
Speaker 1: in my head of like things that I'm working on
Speaker 1: that kind of relate to something bigger that's going on
Speaker 1: in the company.
Speaker 3: Working at a bier.
Speaker 1: Company like Google, I did find that was helpful because
Speaker 1: if you do have these opportunities in the lift or
Speaker 1: in the coffee line with senior leaders, you can speak
Speaker 1: confidently about what you're working on, and you can show
Speaker 1: up as someone who's working on important things and really
Speaker 1: got it together.
Speaker 2: That's smart. Okay, I'm going to adopt that because that
Speaker 2: was way better than my strategy of talking about a
Speaker 2: sport that I have no idea about and our a
Speaker 2: co founded things. I'm a massive cricket fan. I'm spending
Speaker 2: all my spare time researching cricket things. In case he
Speaker 2: asks me about it.
Speaker 1: Again, No, you created connection with him, which is why
Speaker 1: I think it was so brilliant.
Speaker 3: A fake one.
Speaker 2: So so we got this next question straight to our
Speaker 2: biz instagram. We are Beerz by Mama Mam make sure
Speaker 2: you follow us, and it said, how do I ask
Speaker 2: for feedback from my manager to help me improve without
Speaker 2: giving off the vibes that I'm insecure about my role?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 3: You know, the opposite is true.
Speaker 1: So asking for feedback actually shows power and as much
Speaker 1: as you can lean in and embrace it, that's going
Speaker 1: to help you so much in your career. It's just
Speaker 1: a massive unlock. So I managed a lot of people,
Speaker 1: and the ones that proactively came to me and asked
Speaker 1: me for feedback about how they're doing in their role,
Speaker 1: they came across as the ones who are actually more
Speaker 1: confident and more secure in themselves. So I think this
Speaker 1: feedback loop that you can create, particularly with your manager,
Speaker 1: because your manager is probably the closest to seeing you,
Speaker 1: you know, do your job, and so creating this feedback
Speaker 1: loop with them is so important. The thing is, it's
Speaker 1: really hard, and I think people have this thing of
Speaker 1: like feedback's a gift.
Speaker 3: Ask for feedback.
Speaker 1: It is actually so hard to do consistently and so
Speaker 1: just something I think might be interesting for you them.
Speaker 1: Do you know that seventy percent of managers are actually
Speaker 1: uncomfortable communicating and forty percent are uncomfortable giving feedback at all,
Speaker 1: So just remember like it's hard as a manager to
Speaker 1: give feedback. It's hard for you to hear it, it's
Speaker 1: hard for you to ask for it, but it is
Speaker 1: really important. So the one thing that I found has
Speaker 1: worked in my career and then also with the people
Speaker 1: that I manage, is it's not just a once off
Speaker 1: thing where you, you know, once a year you have
Speaker 1: your performance review and they either give you feedback, you
Speaker 1: ask the feedback and it's like set and forget feedback.
Speaker 1: And having a feedback loop is actually an going conversation
Speaker 1: and you have to constantly remind your manager that you
Speaker 1: want feedback. So I would start really simple and try
Speaker 1: to be specific. So I would pick a couple of
Speaker 1: things that you want to work on. So maybe it's
Speaker 1: like I want to work on my presentation skills at meetings,
Speaker 1: So I'd say to my manager, I'm really trying to
Speaker 1: work on my presentation skills right now in this next
Speaker 1: meeting that we're doing. The team meeting, Can you give
Speaker 1: me some feedback on how I go and just try
Speaker 1: to be a bit more specific about what you're asking
Speaker 1: for feedback on. I had a really cool system with
Speaker 1: one of my managers where he knew I was working
Speaker 1: on presentation skills.
Speaker 3: Every time we were in a room.
Speaker 1: Together and I was speaking in a meeting, he would
Speaker 1: just write one thing on a post it note and
Speaker 1: just hand it to me as we walked out the door.
Speaker 1: He didn't even have to tell me the feedback, and
Speaker 1: it was always just one thing I did well and
Speaker 1: one thing that I needed.
Speaker 3: To work on or I could work on oh so good,
Speaker 3: and it would just helped so much.
Speaker 1: It just like took all the pain out of it
Speaker 1: was just like this very casual kind of ongoing thing.
Speaker 3: That would be my.
Speaker 1: Advice is like ask for feedback on specific things and
Speaker 1: just know it's not something you ask for once. You
Speaker 1: sort of have to keep asking for it because it's
Speaker 1: quite hard for managers sometimes to give feedback to.
Speaker 2: Is there such thing as kind of overdoing it, because
Speaker 2: obviously your manager probably manages other people, they have their
Speaker 2: own work to work on, Like, is there a such
Speaker 2: thing as just being too much and being annoying when
Speaker 2: you're constantly asking them for feedback or asking them for
Speaker 2: like a raise or like a promotion, or like can
Speaker 2: I work on this new project? Is there such thing
Speaker 2: as doing too much?
Speaker 3: Yes?
Speaker 1: Definitely, Really ask yourself, like is it feedback you're looking
Speaker 1: for or is it some kind of recognition that you're
Speaker 1: doing a good job from your manager and sort of
Speaker 1: separate like validation validation exactly. So it's cool that you
Speaker 1: have enough awareness that you realize that remembering that your
Speaker 1: manager probably has other people that they're looking after and
Speaker 1: not overdoing it for sure, specifically with feedback, your manager
Speaker 1: is not the only person that you need to be
Speaker 1: asking or like that you can ask for feedback or
Speaker 1: go to to help you when it comes to things
Speaker 1: like you know, your career, getting better at your job.
Speaker 1: You should be leaning on other leaders in the company, peers,
Speaker 1: like ask other people feedback. You don't need to be
Speaker 1: going to your manager for everything. And I think it's
Speaker 1: actually really helpful to start building relationships with people other
Speaker 1: than your manager as well.
Speaker 2: So after the break, we are going to be tackling
Speaker 2: the social side of work. So our final question for
Speaker 2: this week comes from Dylan.
Speaker 1: This feels like such a weird question, But how do
Speaker 1: I make friends at work?
Speaker 3: I just started a new job and don't know anyone yet.
Speaker 2: Ah, Dylan, I know we'll hang out with you.
Speaker 1: I would love to hear your answer on this too. M.
Speaker 1: I think it's funny, isn't it something like making friends
Speaker 1: at work? Should I make friends at work? There's this
Speaker 1: amazing study that I read recently that actually said when
Speaker 1: it comes to sort of how you feel about your job,
Speaker 1: beyond the salary you're getting or your manager, it actually
Speaker 1: came down.
Speaker 3: To do you have a work bestie? Do you have
Speaker 3: a best friend at work?
Speaker 1: And this had actually so much in fluence on people's
Speaker 1: experience in the workplace. So it sounds like a cute question,
Speaker 1: but it actually is really important. So I think it's
Speaker 1: also been made so much harder with hybrid work and
Speaker 1: work from home. Especially for young people coming in, it
Speaker 1: can feel really intimidating. You're coming into this organization where
Speaker 1: it feels like everyone's already friends, and you're like, how
Speaker 1: do I actually break into this?
Speaker 3: I'm keen to hear what would be so your tips.
Speaker 3: I feel like.
Speaker 2: It's very situational and I've been very lucky with my
Speaker 2: workplace a Mummia, because we're all women, we all have
Speaker 2: the same passions, we're all very similar age, and a
Speaker 2: lot of the friendships I made with women who don't
Speaker 2: work in Mummy anymore, but they become like my closest,
Speaker 2: closest lifelong friends was mainly because we were all from
Speaker 2: either different parts of Sydney or different parts of Australia,
Speaker 2: and we didn't really have anyone else, like, we didn't
Speaker 2: have a close friendship group, and we just kind of
Speaker 2: came together. Because workers in the city, it was easy
Speaker 2: to hang out. But I think the main reason why
Speaker 2: I was able to make friends at work was because
Speaker 2: I always kind of said yes to a lot of
Speaker 2: things like after work drinks, like hanging out someone started
Speaker 2: team sport, things like that, going for dinners, putting your
Speaker 2: hand out for doing like extra work like out of
Speaker 2: hours if it's like something fun to do. I think
Speaker 2: it's those little things that made my friendships kind of form,
Speaker 2: as well as just being super interested in people not
Speaker 2: just for the work they do in the company, but
Speaker 2: their personal lives as well, and remembering things I've told you,
Speaker 2: like I know, I'm lucky because a lot of us
Speaker 2: are the same age, but I know there's so many
Speaker 2: workplaces where a team could be made up of some
Speaker 2: people in the twenties, some people in their fifties. And
Speaker 2: I think the like genuine interest you have in people
Speaker 2: is the thing that makes friendships form. Things like, oh,
Speaker 2: how is your son's birthday on the weekend? Did you
Speaker 2: end up getting him that present? Like little things like that.
Speaker 2: I feel like I really appreciate when people remember things
Speaker 2: like that from my personal life, and I think that
Speaker 2: goes two ways.
Speaker 1: I don't even need to answer this question because I
Speaker 1: think that was for Hex.
Speaker 3: You're the career coach now, No, I totally.
Speaker 2: Agree the promotion for me.
Speaker 3: Dude took the words out of my mouth.
Speaker 1: Those would be my two points to like say yes
Speaker 1: to stuff, actually do things, and follow up.
Speaker 3: So go and do the sewing.
Speaker 1: Class, do the K pop dance class, Like actually hang
Speaker 1: out with people and take an interest in people, ask
Speaker 1: some questions, remember the answers, and just like be interested
Speaker 1: in their life. Even before you're at the point where
Speaker 1: you're starting to do things with people at work, maybe
Speaker 1: a really simple way that you can start building that
Speaker 1: initial connection is just noticing when your peers and coworkers
Speaker 1: are doing stuff that you think is great, actually take
Speaker 1: the time to send them this like message to say like, hey,
Speaker 1: I thought your presentation in the meeting today was really cool.
Speaker 3: This is what I liked about it.
Speaker 1: I think so often you'll think your peers have done
Speaker 1: something good and you're kind of like, ah, they know it.
Speaker 1: You just like don't take the effort to actually tell them.
Speaker 1: So tell your coworkers when they do something good, and
Speaker 1: you'll be surprised how much that can form a little
Speaker 1: connection or bond with them that you can build on
Speaker 1: from there.
Speaker 2: That's so good. It's also so simple. It's basically like,
Speaker 2: just be a nice person. Yeah, and people want to
Speaker 2: be your friend.
Speaker 3: Just be cool. Thanks for helping us clear the biers inbox.
Speaker 1: If you've got to work questions, send it our way.
Speaker 1: You'll find a link to submit your questions in the
Speaker 1: show notes.
Speaker 2: And if you missed it earlier this week, Miss and
Speaker 2: soph answered the question that we've all asked ourselves at
Speaker 2: one point or another, should we be starting our own business?
Speaker 2: Head back in the feed to check it out, and
Speaker 2: we will also put a link in our show notes.
Speaker 2: We'll be back here in the biz Inbox next week.
Speaker 1: Bye see ya.
Speaker 2: Mamma Maya acknowledges the traditional owners of land and waters
Speaker 2: that this podcast is recorded on