1 00:00:10,287 --> 00:00:13,047 Speaker 1: You're listening to a MoMA mea podcast. 2 00:00:13,727 --> 00:00:16,767 Speaker 2: Mamma Mere acknowledges the traditional owners of land and waters 3 00:00:16,807 --> 00:00:23,487 Speaker 2: that this podcast is recorded on Hello and welcome to 4 00:00:23,567 --> 00:00:26,087 Speaker 2: Mamma Mia out Loud and to our Friday show where 5 00:00:26,127 --> 00:00:28,367 Speaker 2: we take a break from the news cycle. 6 00:00:28,127 --> 00:00:29,407 Speaker 1: And breathe out. 7 00:00:30,687 --> 00:00:31,567 Speaker 3: He's sound relaxed. 8 00:00:32,087 --> 00:00:34,007 Speaker 1: It's the noise I make also after I drink tea, 9 00:00:34,287 --> 00:00:37,927 Speaker 1: which I happen to have here. Listened you want to 10 00:00:38,047 --> 00:00:40,327 Speaker 1: die today? 11 00:00:40,487 --> 00:00:43,447 Speaker 2: It's Friday, the fourth of October, and I am bollywayen 12 00:00:43,487 --> 00:00:44,647 Speaker 2: Wright only Friedman. 13 00:00:44,887 --> 00:00:47,407 Speaker 3: I'm Jesse Stevens and may you had a birthday this week. 14 00:00:47,407 --> 00:00:49,047 Speaker 3: And there are two things that make you sound of 15 00:00:50,047 --> 00:00:53,167 Speaker 3: well seamol. The first is what you just did like that. 16 00:00:53,327 --> 00:00:53,487 Speaker 1: Yes. 17 00:00:53,727 --> 00:00:56,007 Speaker 3: The second I've been wanting to bring this up, but 18 00:00:56,287 --> 00:00:57,767 Speaker 3: you know any thinker, but you don't bring it up. 19 00:00:58,167 --> 00:01:01,087 Speaker 3: Is that when you have scripts that sometimes I know 20 00:01:01,167 --> 00:01:02,087 Speaker 3: it is, yeah, yeah. 21 00:01:01,927 --> 00:01:02,367 Speaker 1: You know what I mean. 22 00:01:03,767 --> 00:01:06,007 Speaker 3: Intro, you lick your finger when you. 23 00:01:05,967 --> 00:01:08,847 Speaker 2: Turn every time turns the page. 24 00:01:09,487 --> 00:01:10,207 Speaker 3: It doesn't help. 25 00:01:10,367 --> 00:01:12,967 Speaker 1: I don't understand. It does because it gives you traction, 26 00:01:13,207 --> 00:01:15,967 Speaker 1: like it makes the page stick. But I agree with you. 27 00:01:16,087 --> 00:01:17,967 Speaker 1: I don't understand. I was talking to someone else who 28 00:01:18,047 --> 00:01:21,767 Speaker 1: does this? Why does it start? When you are a 29 00:01:21,767 --> 00:01:24,967 Speaker 1: certain age you start licking your fingers and I. 30 00:01:24,967 --> 00:01:27,607 Speaker 3: Can hear it to microponion, and then you do it, 31 00:01:27,687 --> 00:01:29,607 Speaker 3: and my mum does it, and like your. 32 00:01:29,647 --> 00:01:30,407 Speaker 1: Brand does it. 33 00:01:30,567 --> 00:01:33,887 Speaker 3: Oh yeah, why I've never seen anyone under the edge 34 00:01:33,927 --> 00:01:35,007 Speaker 3: because you slippery. 35 00:01:35,087 --> 00:01:37,047 Speaker 2: I don't know why I do it for your fingers 36 00:01:37,087 --> 00:01:38,847 Speaker 2: get less traction. 37 00:01:39,887 --> 00:01:41,447 Speaker 3: You lose the lubrication. It's like you. 38 00:01:44,807 --> 00:01:47,767 Speaker 1: Finger so you need friction on anyway, never mind. 39 00:01:48,207 --> 00:01:51,087 Speaker 2: On the show today, cheat codes for life? 40 00:01:51,167 --> 00:01:53,087 Speaker 1: Do you need one? What are they? And what are ours? 41 00:01:53,127 --> 00:01:57,687 Speaker 2: It's a chaotic Friday wisdom dump plus recommendations, which include 42 00:01:57,767 --> 00:01:59,687 Speaker 2: the TV show that I would really rather be at 43 00:01:59,687 --> 00:02:02,567 Speaker 2: home watching right now, and so would you. 44 00:02:02,887 --> 00:02:05,647 Speaker 1: Also, Jesse has something depressing for you to watch. 45 00:02:05,687 --> 00:02:10,487 Speaker 2: Correct and Mere's deep fashion hyper focus and ugly birthday cakes, 46 00:02:10,607 --> 00:02:14,367 Speaker 2: debunking teenage conspiracies, and a very confronting driver's license photo. 47 00:02:14,807 --> 00:02:17,767 Speaker 1: Yes it's our best and worst, but first we are 48 00:02:17,767 --> 00:02:22,167 Speaker 1: Friedman friends. Have you noticed something weird is happening with 49 00:02:22,207 --> 00:02:24,967 Speaker 1: party invitations? Jesse? You drew it to my attention and 50 00:02:25,007 --> 00:02:27,287 Speaker 1: now I'm noticing it everywhere. What's going on? 51 00:02:27,647 --> 00:02:27,727 Speaker 4: So? 52 00:02:28,047 --> 00:02:30,167 Speaker 3: What is going on. There was an article in Slate 53 00:02:30,487 --> 00:02:34,367 Speaker 3: all about this new trend where party invitations they're arriving 54 00:02:34,407 --> 00:02:37,367 Speaker 3: too early, earlier and earlier. They think we don't notice. 55 00:02:37,567 --> 00:02:41,447 Speaker 3: But this Shria Murphy, She's created an event planning app. 56 00:02:41,567 --> 00:02:43,687 Speaker 3: She's actually charted this. She actually has some data to 57 00:02:43,727 --> 00:02:46,487 Speaker 3: support her point, which is that they've seen a fourteen 58 00:02:46,527 --> 00:02:49,927 Speaker 3: percent increase in the median time between when someone creates 59 00:02:49,927 --> 00:02:54,087 Speaker 3: an event and when the event actually happens. So apparently 60 00:02:54,247 --> 00:02:58,087 Speaker 3: the invitations are being sent twenty percent earlier than they 61 00:02:58,127 --> 00:03:02,447 Speaker 3: ever have. So you're not imagining it. You are getting 62 00:03:02,647 --> 00:03:06,047 Speaker 3: invites for things in twenty twenty five, which is in 63 00:03:06,127 --> 00:03:07,127 Speaker 3: another lifetime. 64 00:03:07,327 --> 00:03:10,207 Speaker 1: I got invited to a wedding mix him and I 65 00:03:10,247 --> 00:03:12,847 Speaker 1: got invited to It is a destination though, three or 66 00:03:12,887 --> 00:03:14,247 Speaker 1: four months ago. Yeah, it's in Italy. 67 00:03:14,327 --> 00:03:18,007 Speaker 3: I think that's your exception. My thing is like it'll 68 00:03:18,007 --> 00:03:21,687 Speaker 3: be a kid's birthday invitation, or it'll be girls drinks, 69 00:03:21,687 --> 00:03:24,247 Speaker 3: and we're talking months months in advance. 70 00:03:24,247 --> 00:03:28,127 Speaker 1: Well like with a like one of those paper paperless 71 00:03:28,167 --> 00:03:32,087 Speaker 1: post Do you mean that you get chat both both? Oh? 72 00:03:32,167 --> 00:03:34,487 Speaker 1: Like someone will say, let's make it so for my 73 00:03:34,567 --> 00:03:37,047 Speaker 1: group chats when we try to organize something, often it 74 00:03:37,047 --> 00:03:39,287 Speaker 1: does have to be long way in advance because this 75 00:03:39,327 --> 00:03:41,207 Speaker 1: one can't do then, and this one's traveling and this 76 00:03:41,247 --> 00:03:41,687 Speaker 1: one can't. 77 00:03:41,847 --> 00:03:43,807 Speaker 3: So we're too busy. Are we all too busy? And 78 00:03:43,847 --> 00:03:45,647 Speaker 3: so we've got to go months and months in advance 79 00:03:45,687 --> 00:03:49,007 Speaker 3: in order to secure anymouw Jesse, Oh, that's a really 80 00:03:49,007 --> 00:03:51,447 Speaker 3: great question. Well, what's awkward about this whole thing is 81 00:03:51,447 --> 00:03:55,247 Speaker 3: that I'm free next weekend and actually the weekend after. 82 00:03:55,487 --> 00:03:58,167 Speaker 3: So I keep getting these invites and it's like, pencil 83 00:03:58,207 --> 00:04:01,167 Speaker 3: it in or write it in your diary for April 84 00:04:01,327 --> 00:04:03,487 Speaker 3: twenty twenty five, and I'm like, don't know if I'll 85 00:04:03,487 --> 00:04:05,887 Speaker 3: be in Australia, don't know if you'll feel like it. 86 00:04:05,967 --> 00:04:08,287 Speaker 3: I don't know, because that's the future, and the future 87 00:04:08,327 --> 00:04:11,047 Speaker 3: and by them exactly makes. 88 00:04:10,887 --> 00:04:13,727 Speaker 1: Me feel claustrophobic committing to anything more than two weeks 89 00:04:13,727 --> 00:04:14,367 Speaker 1: in advance. 90 00:04:14,767 --> 00:04:18,127 Speaker 3: I feel similarly. I think it used to be pretty 91 00:04:18,127 --> 00:04:20,487 Speaker 3: customary if you're having a birthday or something two weeks 92 00:04:20,527 --> 00:04:22,927 Speaker 3: and now I feel like it's I know, if it's. 93 00:04:22,847 --> 00:04:24,727 Speaker 1: A wedding or a big occasion, like when we did 94 00:04:24,767 --> 00:04:27,007 Speaker 1: our upfronts for work, I know this is a work 95 00:04:27,007 --> 00:04:29,207 Speaker 1: function but we did a save the date. A save 96 00:04:29,287 --> 00:04:31,527 Speaker 1: the date basically means we don't have our shit together 97 00:04:31,607 --> 00:04:35,607 Speaker 1: yet to have made an invitation and worked out the details, 98 00:04:36,127 --> 00:04:38,367 Speaker 1: but we just want to make sure you don't miss out. 99 00:04:38,687 --> 00:04:41,447 Speaker 3: I understand that, especially when big bucks are being spent, 100 00:04:41,807 --> 00:04:44,407 Speaker 3: but if it's like a birthday. 101 00:04:44,007 --> 00:04:44,847 Speaker 1: It's just DIBs. 102 00:04:45,127 --> 00:04:47,967 Speaker 2: It's just somebody going I'm calling DIBs on that day, 103 00:04:48,047 --> 00:04:50,087 Speaker 2: and I'm going to call DIBs in that day ages 104 00:04:50,127 --> 00:04:52,207 Speaker 2: in advance, because then none of you have got an 105 00:04:52,247 --> 00:04:54,807 Speaker 2: excuse to not come. That's the whole reason for it, 106 00:04:54,847 --> 00:04:58,127 Speaker 2: because as Mia just said, we've all got ridiculously busy. 107 00:04:58,567 --> 00:05:01,047 Speaker 2: I Am not that popular or busy, but I've got 108 00:05:01,087 --> 00:05:03,567 Speaker 2: groups of friends that we just cannot seem to make 109 00:05:03,607 --> 00:05:03,967 Speaker 2: it work. 110 00:05:04,007 --> 00:05:04,887 Speaker 1: I haven't seen them all. 111 00:05:04,887 --> 00:05:07,527 Speaker 3: Year, and that's because you're away every weekend. Tollywayne right, 112 00:05:07,567 --> 00:05:08,527 Speaker 3: You've got a lot going on. 113 00:05:08,487 --> 00:05:10,167 Speaker 2: Well, and I travel lot for work and all the 114 00:05:10,167 --> 00:05:10,527 Speaker 2: rest of it. 115 00:05:10,607 --> 00:05:11,567 Speaker 1: But it's just hard. 116 00:05:11,847 --> 00:05:14,327 Speaker 2: But then I'm a last minute person, so I will 117 00:05:14,367 --> 00:05:17,127 Speaker 2: remember that it's my kid's birthday in two weeks and 118 00:05:17,207 --> 00:05:19,847 Speaker 2: text everybody who needs to come to their party and 119 00:05:19,887 --> 00:05:22,407 Speaker 2: go thinking of having something for Billy on you know, 120 00:05:22,487 --> 00:05:27,047 Speaker 2: next Saturday morning, and everyone's like, your life had that 121 00:05:27,167 --> 00:05:28,847 Speaker 2: blackout for two years. 122 00:05:29,447 --> 00:05:30,487 Speaker 1: But it's interesting, isn't it? 123 00:05:30,487 --> 00:05:32,247 Speaker 2: Because you're either a last minute personally or not. I 124 00:05:32,247 --> 00:05:35,487 Speaker 2: could never organize anything that far. But Penny has already 125 00:05:35,527 --> 00:05:38,767 Speaker 2: organized my birthday party. It's not a birthday party, birthday dinner, 126 00:05:38,887 --> 00:05:42,407 Speaker 2: which is at Christmas. Oh my goodness, yeah to calling DIBs. 127 00:05:42,487 --> 00:05:46,007 Speaker 1: Okay. My view on this is that it is about 128 00:05:46,047 --> 00:05:49,647 Speaker 1: mental load, and the worst thing when you are trying 129 00:05:49,687 --> 00:05:53,847 Speaker 1: to organize anything is this one saying I can't come, 130 00:05:53,887 --> 00:05:56,247 Speaker 1: but I can't come, but I'm away that weekend, and 131 00:05:56,287 --> 00:05:58,007 Speaker 1: then it goes back and forth until you lose the 132 00:05:58,007 --> 00:05:59,327 Speaker 1: will to have an event at all. 133 00:05:59,367 --> 00:06:00,447 Speaker 3: Do you guys use polls? 134 00:06:00,967 --> 00:06:01,527 Speaker 1: What's that? 135 00:06:01,647 --> 00:06:04,047 Speaker 3: Every group chat I have now has a pole function 136 00:06:04,647 --> 00:06:06,207 Speaker 3: and we have vote on the date where you have 137 00:06:06,247 --> 00:06:08,247 Speaker 3: to vote on the date. And I recently there was 138 00:06:08,247 --> 00:06:10,287 Speaker 3: a girl's you know, there might be fifteen of us, 139 00:06:10,687 --> 00:06:12,847 Speaker 3: and I went, I've not been carrying them mental load. 140 00:06:13,047 --> 00:06:14,407 Speaker 3: I don't know how to do this, but I've. 141 00:06:14,247 --> 00:06:14,687 Speaker 1: Got to learn. 142 00:06:14,727 --> 00:06:15,527 Speaker 3: I've got to get on the hold. 143 00:06:15,567 --> 00:06:16,007 Speaker 1: You made a poll. 144 00:06:16,087 --> 00:06:17,887 Speaker 3: I made a poll and I said, can you do 145 00:06:18,407 --> 00:06:21,487 Speaker 3: the twenty first of October for dinner. Can you do this? 146 00:06:21,567 --> 00:06:23,327 Speaker 1: Day's such a good idea. And then we just go 147 00:06:23,367 --> 00:06:24,967 Speaker 1: on everyone's back and I can do it. Oh no, 148 00:06:25,087 --> 00:06:27,247 Speaker 1: wait and so and then you wait, and then there's 149 00:06:27,287 --> 00:06:30,167 Speaker 1: always a laggard. And then you're like, hey, we're waiting 150 00:06:30,207 --> 00:06:32,207 Speaker 1: for you, Jesse, can you make that date? 151 00:06:32,247 --> 00:06:35,487 Speaker 3: And you're like, no, the most popular date wins. What's 152 00:06:35,567 --> 00:06:38,047 Speaker 3: your cheat code for life? I just told you mine, 153 00:06:38,047 --> 00:06:40,647 Speaker 3: and it's my polls. But there was a good one. 154 00:06:40,687 --> 00:06:43,247 Speaker 3: That's a good one. The thing you swear by that 155 00:06:43,327 --> 00:06:47,247 Speaker 3: opens doors makes everything easier and you wish you knew earlier. 156 00:06:48,087 --> 00:06:50,807 Speaker 3: There is a Reddit thread going viral where people share 157 00:06:50,887 --> 00:06:53,887 Speaker 3: their insights, and some are pretty obvious, from looking people 158 00:06:53,887 --> 00:06:56,487 Speaker 3: in the eye to learning to say no to getting 159 00:06:56,567 --> 00:06:59,527 Speaker 3: enough sleep. Here are some other popular examples I came 160 00:06:59,567 --> 00:07:02,487 Speaker 3: across get everything in writing. So if you're in a 161 00:07:02,527 --> 00:07:04,967 Speaker 3: meeting and your manager promises you something, then make sure 162 00:07:05,007 --> 00:07:06,927 Speaker 3: you get them to email it to you. Or let's 163 00:07:06,927 --> 00:07:09,247 Speaker 3: say your accountant assures you of something and it just 164 00:07:09,367 --> 00:07:12,367 Speaker 3: sounds a bit like I would want to just confirm that. 165 00:07:12,687 --> 00:07:15,567 Speaker 3: Get it in writing. Another one is you can make 166 00:07:15,647 --> 00:07:18,327 Speaker 3: more friends in two months by becoming interested in other 167 00:07:18,367 --> 00:07:20,687 Speaker 3: people than you can in two years by trying to 168 00:07:20,687 --> 00:07:22,767 Speaker 3: get other people interested in you. 169 00:07:22,927 --> 00:07:23,967 Speaker 1: That's very good advice. 170 00:07:24,087 --> 00:07:27,927 Speaker 3: I love that one. And no one stops someone carrying pizza. 171 00:07:28,567 --> 00:07:32,447 Speaker 3: You can get backstage at concerts. Now we don't can 172 00:07:32,487 --> 00:07:35,887 Speaker 3: don't trespassing, but think about it. If someone came to 173 00:07:35,967 --> 00:07:37,447 Speaker 3: this off and they just had a few things of 174 00:07:37,487 --> 00:07:41,407 Speaker 3: pizza and it smelt good, I'd let him in if 175 00:07:41,407 --> 00:07:43,687 Speaker 3: you were backstage, if we were backstage at Out Loud, 176 00:07:44,167 --> 00:07:46,287 Speaker 3: back to go on stage for our show. 177 00:07:46,447 --> 00:07:49,247 Speaker 1: Don't give people ideas unless they have pizza, in which 178 00:07:49,287 --> 00:07:51,687 Speaker 1: case come on after the show. 179 00:07:54,207 --> 00:07:57,767 Speaker 3: You're allowed. We asked people in the Mummeya office what 180 00:07:57,807 --> 00:08:00,047 Speaker 3: their cheat code to life is, and here's what they 181 00:08:00,087 --> 00:08:00,527 Speaker 3: told us. 182 00:08:02,167 --> 00:08:04,807 Speaker 4: My life pack is don't put the email address of 183 00:08:04,807 --> 00:08:08,127 Speaker 4: the person you're emailing in until you've written and double 184 00:08:08,247 --> 00:08:11,367 Speaker 4: checked your email. It really saves any unedited or unfinished 185 00:08:11,367 --> 00:08:12,967 Speaker 4: emails being sent accidentally. 186 00:08:13,367 --> 00:08:15,447 Speaker 5: The biggest lesson it was actually from my dad that 187 00:08:15,487 --> 00:08:17,607 Speaker 5: my dad ever taught me was always admit when you've 188 00:08:17,607 --> 00:08:19,607 Speaker 5: made a mistake. If you can do anything in life 189 00:08:19,687 --> 00:08:21,687 Speaker 5: is always admit when you're wrong and when you've made 190 00:08:21,727 --> 00:08:23,727 Speaker 5: a mistake because that way, you're always going to reflect 191 00:08:24,127 --> 00:08:26,967 Speaker 5: on your behavior and your role in something, and it 192 00:08:27,007 --> 00:08:28,767 Speaker 5: also makes you look at the other side of things. 193 00:08:28,927 --> 00:08:31,807 Speaker 6: When I'm feeling overwhelmed, I try to take a moment 194 00:08:32,007 --> 00:08:35,327 Speaker 6: and take five deep breasthts. I think this helps me 195 00:08:35,447 --> 00:08:39,287 Speaker 6: process what has happened and to not overreact. 196 00:08:39,807 --> 00:08:42,967 Speaker 7: When I'm talking to someone new, I try to remember 197 00:08:43,247 --> 00:08:46,127 Speaker 7: one personal fact about them. If I know that I'm 198 00:08:46,127 --> 00:08:48,527 Speaker 7: going to see them again, like the name of their 199 00:08:48,567 --> 00:08:51,847 Speaker 7: dog or what suburb they live in, I can ask 200 00:08:51,887 --> 00:08:54,047 Speaker 7: them about it the next time I see them. Then 201 00:08:54,087 --> 00:08:56,127 Speaker 7: they know that I've listened to them and that I 202 00:08:56,247 --> 00:08:59,287 Speaker 7: care what they're saying, and hopefully they can become more 203 00:08:59,327 --> 00:09:00,527 Speaker 7: trusting of me after that. 204 00:09:00,967 --> 00:09:03,127 Speaker 8: So if I'm ever in a situation where I'm asked 205 00:09:03,287 --> 00:09:05,847 Speaker 8: for my opinion about something that's important or a big 206 00:09:05,887 --> 00:09:10,047 Speaker 8: decision or something that I just know it's going to 207 00:09:10,127 --> 00:09:11,927 Speaker 8: take a lot of thought, it's just in the moment 208 00:09:12,007 --> 00:09:14,247 Speaker 8: saying hey, let me just sleep on this and get 209 00:09:14,247 --> 00:09:17,007 Speaker 8: back to you tomorrow. I used to think that I 210 00:09:17,127 --> 00:09:20,287 Speaker 8: needed to sort of have an answer straight away ready 211 00:09:20,287 --> 00:09:23,647 Speaker 8: to go, but sleeping on something just always gives me 212 00:09:23,687 --> 00:09:24,687 Speaker 8: so much more clarity. 213 00:09:24,967 --> 00:09:27,287 Speaker 3: Okay, so my friend has this great cheek code. She 214 00:09:27,327 --> 00:09:29,647 Speaker 3: always looks smart at the airport, and she reckons that's 215 00:09:29,647 --> 00:09:32,447 Speaker 3: the secret to getting upgraded to business class. 216 00:09:32,647 --> 00:09:34,407 Speaker 9: One of the best things I got from a parenting 217 00:09:34,447 --> 00:09:36,967 Speaker 9: book is just add water. So if your kid is 218 00:09:37,087 --> 00:09:40,407 Speaker 9: losing their shit, you either put them outside with the sprinklers, 219 00:09:40,727 --> 00:09:42,687 Speaker 9: throw them in the bath, or give them a drink 220 00:09:42,687 --> 00:09:45,367 Speaker 9: of water. I've actually started doing that myself, and it 221 00:09:45,527 --> 00:09:47,807 Speaker 9: is a game changer. So if I've got a tough 222 00:09:47,807 --> 00:09:49,207 Speaker 9: decision to make, or if i want to go and 223 00:09:49,287 --> 00:09:51,567 Speaker 9: yell at someone, I'll take a shower first, I'll drink 224 00:09:51,567 --> 00:09:54,007 Speaker 9: a glass of water. It always calms me down and 225 00:09:54,087 --> 00:09:54,967 Speaker 9: it always works. 226 00:09:55,647 --> 00:09:59,647 Speaker 1: Out loud As Hollywood's enthusiastically agreeing with almost all of 227 00:09:59,687 --> 00:10:02,767 Speaker 1: those hues, like yep, yep, that works, Yep, I agree, 228 00:10:03,207 --> 00:10:05,607 Speaker 1: I do. I don't do them all, but they're all 229 00:10:05,727 --> 00:10:06,247 Speaker 1: very good. 230 00:10:06,527 --> 00:10:10,127 Speaker 3: I also to ask the out louders they had any 231 00:10:10,167 --> 00:10:12,207 Speaker 3: and here are some that they came up with. I 232 00:10:12,247 --> 00:10:14,127 Speaker 3: really like this one from Brooks. She says, I'm a 233 00:10:14,127 --> 00:10:16,567 Speaker 3: big fan of don't put it down, put it away, 234 00:10:16,727 --> 00:10:19,447 Speaker 3: So you're not allowed to, like just put your bag down. 235 00:10:19,487 --> 00:10:23,087 Speaker 3: It's got a place, put it away. Another one from Kirby. 236 00:10:23,247 --> 00:10:26,287 Speaker 3: Every Sunday I make uniform packs for each kid, so 237 00:10:26,327 --> 00:10:28,327 Speaker 3: school uniform, undie socks, roll it up and put a 238 00:10:28,407 --> 00:10:31,287 Speaker 3: rubber band around it. They go in baskets in our buffet, 239 00:10:31,967 --> 00:10:34,127 Speaker 3: and each morning kids go and grab their own pack 240 00:10:34,167 --> 00:10:36,327 Speaker 3: and get dressed. I wish I was like her, I'm 241 00:10:36,327 --> 00:10:40,727 Speaker 3: not too. Another one that I really liked was from Chloe. 242 00:10:40,807 --> 00:10:42,967 Speaker 3: This is again for kids, which is every time you're 243 00:10:42,967 --> 00:10:46,087 Speaker 3: giving medication, text your partner what time because you forget, 244 00:10:46,407 --> 00:10:47,727 Speaker 3: you know how it's got to be like four or 245 00:10:47,767 --> 00:10:48,487 Speaker 3: six hours away. 246 00:10:48,487 --> 00:10:50,967 Speaker 1: But if you don't have a partner, text. 247 00:10:50,647 --> 00:10:53,847 Speaker 3: Anyone, text yourself. Yeah, make a note of it, Liz, 248 00:10:54,327 --> 00:10:58,087 Speaker 3: good quality roboback. I would really like a robovacking. My 249 00:10:58,167 --> 00:11:02,127 Speaker 3: other one actually is, and I've started doing this. I 250 00:11:02,207 --> 00:11:04,247 Speaker 3: never regret it is taking a photo of where I 251 00:11:04,287 --> 00:11:08,007 Speaker 3: parked that, yeah, because I have just told it. 252 00:11:08,607 --> 00:11:10,487 Speaker 2: And then I always to take a photo of if 253 00:11:10,527 --> 00:11:13,127 Speaker 2: you're in the shopping center, the place that you enter 254 00:11:13,207 --> 00:11:15,807 Speaker 2: the shopping center, because it's all very well knowing you're 255 00:11:15,847 --> 00:11:18,647 Speaker 2: on C seven, but you can't remember where C seven 256 00:11:18,727 --> 00:11:20,487 Speaker 2: is exactly right, and if you know that you came 257 00:11:20,527 --> 00:11:21,847 Speaker 2: in next to T two. 258 00:11:22,247 --> 00:11:25,807 Speaker 3: Then you're fine, Yes, yes, Maya. You had a birthday 259 00:11:26,167 --> 00:11:29,047 Speaker 3: this week, so i'd hope that you'd learned a few lessons. 260 00:11:29,127 --> 00:11:30,807 Speaker 3: What are some of your cheat codes? 261 00:11:31,047 --> 00:11:34,407 Speaker 1: I have written down four I could just think of 262 00:11:34,407 --> 00:11:37,047 Speaker 1: off the top of my head. Right. The first is 263 00:11:37,407 --> 00:11:40,167 Speaker 1: if you are someone who has to have daily medication 264 00:11:40,927 --> 00:11:43,207 Speaker 1: but you sometimes can't remember if you've had it or not. 265 00:11:43,687 --> 00:11:46,447 Speaker 1: I now have a pill box with the days, and 266 00:11:46,487 --> 00:11:49,167 Speaker 1: I just dispense all my pills, you know, every couple 267 00:11:49,207 --> 00:11:51,927 Speaker 1: of weeks into this pill box. But the other way 268 00:11:51,927 --> 00:11:55,327 Speaker 1: to do it is to say out loud, I'm having 269 00:11:55,367 --> 00:11:59,767 Speaker 1: my pill now on Tuesday. As you have it, I 270 00:11:59,807 --> 00:12:00,167 Speaker 1: say it. 271 00:12:00,487 --> 00:12:02,927 Speaker 3: You'd be so annoying to live with. I know you're 272 00:12:02,927 --> 00:12:05,407 Speaker 3: annoying to live Yeah you did. Where do you buy 273 00:12:05,407 --> 00:12:06,247 Speaker 3: those pill boxes? 274 00:12:06,407 --> 00:12:06,727 Speaker 1: Chemist? 275 00:12:07,127 --> 00:12:07,327 Speaker 5: Yeah? 276 00:12:07,567 --> 00:12:08,647 Speaker 1: Or Amazon? Chemist? 277 00:12:08,967 --> 00:12:11,847 Speaker 3: You think you know, and then you get into bed 278 00:12:11,927 --> 00:12:13,487 Speaker 3: and you go, no, no, I took that pill. 279 00:12:13,767 --> 00:12:17,607 Speaker 1: Yeah I was that yesterday. And it's like, I think 280 00:12:17,607 --> 00:12:19,687 Speaker 1: I have a memory of taking that pill. I'm always 281 00:12:19,767 --> 00:12:21,447 Speaker 1: living in my head, and half the time I'm on 282 00:12:21,487 --> 00:12:24,047 Speaker 1: an automatic pilot. I don't remember what I've done or 283 00:12:24,087 --> 00:12:26,127 Speaker 1: what I haven't done. It might not be a pill 284 00:12:26,167 --> 00:12:28,847 Speaker 1: It might be if you always forget to turn off 285 00:12:28,887 --> 00:12:31,167 Speaker 1: your hair straight now and you know you're driving to 286 00:12:31,207 --> 00:12:32,567 Speaker 1: work and you're like, did I turn it off? And 287 00:12:32,607 --> 00:12:35,887 Speaker 1: you're like, so I'm turning off my hair straightener today 288 00:12:35,927 --> 00:12:36,767 Speaker 1: on Tuesday. 289 00:12:37,887 --> 00:12:40,007 Speaker 3: I know it. Oh, it's so weird. 290 00:12:41,407 --> 00:12:46,527 Speaker 1: Moving on, We're next to life. 291 00:12:46,687 --> 00:12:50,367 Speaker 2: That's like how you tell come live with me, knock 292 00:12:50,447 --> 00:12:52,007 Speaker 2: your head up three times on the pillow, and go, 293 00:12:52,087 --> 00:12:54,127 Speaker 2: I will not have a bad dream tonight. 294 00:12:56,407 --> 00:12:58,247 Speaker 1: I've found another check code. If you don't want to 295 00:12:58,247 --> 00:13:00,887 Speaker 1: have a bad dream. Just before you go to sleep, 296 00:13:01,447 --> 00:13:05,727 Speaker 1: imagine white color white, like white, like looking at a 297 00:13:05,727 --> 00:13:08,767 Speaker 1: white sheet, like with your eyes closed, a white wall 298 00:13:08,887 --> 00:13:11,327 Speaker 1: or something like that. If you just think white, white, white, 299 00:13:11,567 --> 00:13:14,287 Speaker 1: and then you won't have a bad scientific take her away. 300 00:13:16,247 --> 00:13:19,927 Speaker 1: My next cheak code for life is when I'm feeling 301 00:13:20,367 --> 00:13:24,487 Speaker 1: really emotional and I'm having big feelings that seem out 302 00:13:24,487 --> 00:13:27,807 Speaker 1: of proportion to the thing that's happening that never happened. 303 00:13:27,807 --> 00:13:29,447 Speaker 3: It doesn't happen very often, so I don't know why 304 00:13:29,527 --> 00:13:30,607 Speaker 3: you would need a cheat code. 305 00:13:30,887 --> 00:13:36,607 Speaker 1: Thanks so much, Happy birthday, Except I always forget this 306 00:13:36,727 --> 00:13:42,007 Speaker 1: cheat code. But please mind. I had a therapist who 307 00:13:42,127 --> 00:13:44,647 Speaker 1: used to do this and she would say, how old 308 00:13:44,647 --> 00:13:47,127 Speaker 1: do you feel right now? Pet? She would say, and 309 00:13:47,167 --> 00:13:49,767 Speaker 1: that sounds passive aggressive, but she was never being passive aggressive. 310 00:13:49,807 --> 00:13:51,967 Speaker 1: She like, I didn't mind her calling me pet, but 311 00:13:52,007 --> 00:13:56,527 Speaker 1: it was very clarifying. It immediately tunes you in or 312 00:13:56,567 --> 00:14:00,807 Speaker 1: tunes me into, going, I feel six years old? What 313 00:14:00,927 --> 00:14:02,087 Speaker 1: was going on in my life when I was six 314 00:14:02,207 --> 00:14:05,967 Speaker 1: years old? What does this feel like to me? And 315 00:14:06,007 --> 00:14:10,087 Speaker 1: if you literally say to yourself, either out loud or 316 00:14:10,447 --> 00:14:12,847 Speaker 1: in your head, particularly if you're having an argument with someone, 317 00:14:13,607 --> 00:14:15,607 Speaker 1: if you just are like, how well do you feel 318 00:14:15,647 --> 00:14:19,847 Speaker 1: right now? Pet? So here's something I warn against is 319 00:14:19,927 --> 00:14:23,967 Speaker 1: asking your partner bash because I've tried that with my 320 00:14:24,047 --> 00:14:26,687 Speaker 1: partner and he's tried that with me because we were 321 00:14:26,727 --> 00:14:30,207 Speaker 1: at the therapist together and we both found it pretty useful. 322 00:14:30,487 --> 00:14:32,567 Speaker 1: But anyway, that can make things a bit worse. But 323 00:14:32,607 --> 00:14:35,367 Speaker 1: I find that to me to be really clarifying because 324 00:14:35,367 --> 00:14:38,047 Speaker 1: at the time, you genuinely do believe that your big 325 00:14:38,087 --> 00:14:40,207 Speaker 1: feeling is about this thing, but it feels like you've 326 00:14:40,207 --> 00:14:42,847 Speaker 1: been a bit taken over and you don't understand why 327 00:14:42,927 --> 00:14:46,287 Speaker 1: you're so upset. Anyway, So that helps my next one. 328 00:14:46,567 --> 00:14:48,327 Speaker 1: And I've got so many Okay, this is a really 329 00:14:48,367 --> 00:14:50,607 Speaker 1: good one. How to make a decision. So you know, 330 00:14:50,647 --> 00:14:52,047 Speaker 1: when you're a bit like I don't know, I don't know, 331 00:14:52,087 --> 00:14:54,567 Speaker 1: I don't know what to do. Sometimes you can overthink it, 332 00:14:54,567 --> 00:14:56,367 Speaker 1: you can over intellectualize it, and you just need to 333 00:14:56,367 --> 00:14:58,047 Speaker 1: get in touch with your gut. And your gut is 334 00:14:58,087 --> 00:15:01,727 Speaker 1: actually not we will, it's actually just the accumulation of 335 00:15:01,767 --> 00:15:03,767 Speaker 1: all the experiences that you've ever had. And your gut 336 00:15:03,927 --> 00:15:07,927 Speaker 1: is good. So what you do is you say to yourself, 337 00:15:08,287 --> 00:15:09,767 Speaker 1: should I go to this part? If I want to 338 00:15:09,767 --> 00:15:11,167 Speaker 1: go to this party or not, I don't know, I 339 00:15:11,207 --> 00:15:14,487 Speaker 1: don't know. Can I be bothered? Say to yourself, I'm 340 00:15:14,487 --> 00:15:17,127 Speaker 1: definitely going to this party. I'm definitely going. As if 341 00:15:17,167 --> 00:15:20,087 Speaker 1: you've made the decision, and see what emotion comes up 342 00:15:20,167 --> 00:15:23,767 Speaker 1: in you, and it might be relief, it might be dread, dread, 343 00:15:23,927 --> 00:15:26,927 Speaker 1: it might be nausea, exciting, and then just observe that 344 00:15:26,967 --> 00:15:28,807 Speaker 1: for a second and then just go, Okay, I'm definitely 345 00:15:28,887 --> 00:15:31,647 Speaker 1: not going to this party. And observe what And it 346 00:15:31,727 --> 00:15:33,687 Speaker 1: might be relief, it might be disappointment. It might be 347 00:15:34,087 --> 00:15:36,007 Speaker 1: And someone taught me that when I didn't know whether 348 00:15:36,047 --> 00:15:39,447 Speaker 1: I should move overseas to New York or take a 349 00:15:39,527 --> 00:15:42,207 Speaker 1: job as editor of Cosmo, and I was really torn 350 00:15:43,047 --> 00:15:47,367 Speaker 1: because they were both pretty exciting opportunities, and she talked 351 00:15:47,407 --> 00:15:49,487 Speaker 1: me through that, and it's something that I've used a 352 00:15:49,487 --> 00:15:52,047 Speaker 1: lot of times since and it never gets me wrong. 353 00:15:52,087 --> 00:15:54,767 Speaker 1: And then the last one is something I learned from 354 00:15:54,807 --> 00:15:59,247 Speaker 1: this podcast many years ago. Instead of saying I'm sorry, 355 00:15:59,807 --> 00:16:04,687 Speaker 1: say thank you for your understanding, and then you kind 356 00:16:04,687 --> 00:16:07,767 Speaker 1: of manipulate someone into not being mad with you, so. 357 00:16:07,887 --> 00:16:10,527 Speaker 3: Like in emails or life, in meetings or. 358 00:16:10,487 --> 00:16:13,407 Speaker 1: Like I'm so sorry I'm late, it's like, thank you 359 00:16:13,487 --> 00:16:16,167 Speaker 1: so much for understanding I've just had the worst morning, 360 00:16:16,287 --> 00:16:17,927 Speaker 1: or yes, I couldn't coind apart. 361 00:16:17,807 --> 00:16:19,727 Speaker 3: You've said as well, when I say i'm sorry, I 362 00:16:19,767 --> 00:16:22,167 Speaker 3: then put some responsibility on you to make me feel better, 363 00:16:22,247 --> 00:16:23,927 Speaker 3: which is really annoying for the person who's been. 364 00:16:23,807 --> 00:16:26,687 Speaker 1: Saying like I'm so sorry and they're just like yeah. 365 00:16:26,687 --> 00:16:28,687 Speaker 1: But if you just go thank you so much for 366 00:16:29,247 --> 00:16:31,727 Speaker 1: understanding or for not leaving or whatever, it is like 367 00:16:32,047 --> 00:16:35,367 Speaker 1: it flips it and it gives the person a compliment 368 00:16:36,007 --> 00:16:39,287 Speaker 1: and some status for being a good person and kind 369 00:16:39,287 --> 00:16:41,127 Speaker 1: of tricks them into being less mad with you. 370 00:16:41,447 --> 00:16:44,767 Speaker 3: Holly, what do you have Okay, you have some cheek cuts. 371 00:16:45,207 --> 00:16:48,447 Speaker 2: I have no practical ones because my practical life is terrible. 372 00:16:48,607 --> 00:16:50,527 Speaker 2: You know the people who are like like the lady 373 00:16:50,527 --> 00:16:53,527 Speaker 2: with the school uniform. I wish I was that, but 374 00:16:53,567 --> 00:16:55,927 Speaker 2: I'm never that, and I just can't get my shit 375 00:16:56,007 --> 00:16:58,407 Speaker 2: together in that way. But I have like other ones 376 00:16:59,607 --> 00:17:01,567 Speaker 2: this one. Who did we steal this from me? I'm 377 00:17:01,847 --> 00:17:02,887 Speaker 2: always fuck first? 378 00:17:03,207 --> 00:17:06,167 Speaker 1: Oh? Yes, that was from Dan Savage who has the 379 00:17:06,207 --> 00:17:08,327 Speaker 1: sex podcast. This is very good advice. 380 00:17:09,807 --> 00:17:11,807 Speaker 3: Does this mean that you should say with people all 381 00:17:11,847 --> 00:17:12,127 Speaker 3: the time? 382 00:17:12,447 --> 00:17:12,687 Speaker 4: Away? 383 00:17:13,647 --> 00:17:14,287 Speaker 1: What it means? 384 00:17:14,287 --> 00:17:17,407 Speaker 2: So this is particularly good advice for a phase in 385 00:17:17,447 --> 00:17:21,327 Speaker 2: your life. Right, So imagine this. You and your partner 386 00:17:21,847 --> 00:17:24,527 Speaker 2: have got a date night, and it's rare that you've 387 00:17:24,567 --> 00:17:26,927 Speaker 2: got a date night because you know, you've got kids 388 00:17:26,967 --> 00:17:28,687 Speaker 2: and you've got whatever. But maybe you find the kids 389 00:17:28,687 --> 00:17:31,727 Speaker 2: out to their grandparents for the night, maybe whatever, and 390 00:17:31,767 --> 00:17:33,127 Speaker 2: you go, it's going to be great. We're gonna go 391 00:17:33,167 --> 00:17:34,487 Speaker 2: out for a meal, we're gonna have cocktails, and we're 392 00:17:34,527 --> 00:17:35,607 Speaker 2: gonna come home, we're gonna have sex. 393 00:17:35,727 --> 00:17:37,567 Speaker 1: Gonna be great. No, you're not, you know what I mean. 394 00:17:37,607 --> 00:17:39,047 Speaker 2: Like, by the time you've gone out and you've had 395 00:17:39,087 --> 00:17:41,527 Speaker 2: the cocktails and you've eaten the food, and what you 396 00:17:41,567 --> 00:17:43,007 Speaker 2: want to do when you come back is line on 397 00:17:43,087 --> 00:17:44,567 Speaker 2: the couch and watch something stupid. 398 00:17:46,647 --> 00:17:49,367 Speaker 1: Asleep. You feel bloated, you'll get sloppy. Fuck first. 399 00:17:49,767 --> 00:17:52,247 Speaker 2: Always getting ready for a wedding, it's a sauning date. 400 00:17:52,367 --> 00:17:55,327 Speaker 2: Fuck first, then go out, got a dinner date, Fuck first, 401 00:17:55,407 --> 00:17:56,207 Speaker 2: always fuck first. 402 00:17:56,367 --> 00:17:59,727 Speaker 3: That is, you've got a big meal, you're not feeling no. 403 00:18:00,927 --> 00:18:03,207 Speaker 2: Late night sex is not it when you're not like 404 00:18:03,287 --> 00:18:06,087 Speaker 2: it's different when you're in a different phase of your life. 405 00:18:06,327 --> 00:18:08,767 Speaker 2: But when you're an established so they go, you weren't 406 00:18:08,807 --> 00:18:10,167 Speaker 2: expecting sex, cheek. 407 00:18:09,967 --> 00:18:12,287 Speaker 1: Because then you have an empty stomach. 408 00:18:12,567 --> 00:18:17,367 Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, And also about with the spring in your step, 409 00:18:17,407 --> 00:18:20,407 Speaker 2: and then when you sit there at dinner you're not. 410 00:18:20,487 --> 00:18:22,927 Speaker 1: Like, it's just good. It's just always a good plan. 411 00:18:23,047 --> 00:18:23,727 Speaker 1: That's very sound. 412 00:18:23,887 --> 00:18:26,527 Speaker 2: I really like that one. You too, won't agree with 413 00:18:26,567 --> 00:18:29,927 Speaker 2: me about this. Anyone who bitches to you is also 414 00:18:29,967 --> 00:18:36,367 Speaker 2: bitching about you. That is a fine bitch words to 415 00:18:36,487 --> 00:18:38,647 Speaker 2: live by. You know how we often talk about how 416 00:18:38,687 --> 00:18:40,207 Speaker 2: you need people in your life. You can bitch too, 417 00:18:40,487 --> 00:18:44,487 Speaker 2: and you do right like generally. But people who always 418 00:18:44,487 --> 00:18:48,127 Speaker 2: bitch to you about everybody, they are also bitching to everybody. 419 00:18:48,167 --> 00:18:51,407 Speaker 3: Okay, okay, without question, but I'm not bitching about everybody 420 00:18:51,407 --> 00:18:53,727 Speaker 3: on my bitch about like two people to you, but 421 00:18:53,807 --> 00:18:56,407 Speaker 3: I'm not bitching about you. Do you believe me? Oh 422 00:18:56,487 --> 00:18:57,287 Speaker 3: my god, she doesn't. 423 00:18:58,127 --> 00:19:01,687 Speaker 1: I realized that about when I used to get Brazilian 424 00:19:01,727 --> 00:19:04,727 Speaker 1: bikini waxes and my waxa used to tell me things 425 00:19:04,767 --> 00:19:09,367 Speaker 1: about her other clients. Yes, And I was a bit like, no, 426 00:19:09,767 --> 00:19:10,287 Speaker 1: that's true. 427 00:19:10,407 --> 00:19:17,487 Speaker 2: Right in professional settings, this is particularly true, I agree. Like, 428 00:19:17,647 --> 00:19:19,807 Speaker 2: sometimes you'll interview someone for a job when I've been 429 00:19:19,807 --> 00:19:22,007 Speaker 2: a manager, and actually me is terrible this because she 430 00:19:22,007 --> 00:19:24,207 Speaker 2: always tries to get people to bitch in job interviews. 431 00:19:24,527 --> 00:19:27,207 Speaker 2: But like if the person that you're interviewing will bitch 432 00:19:27,247 --> 00:19:28,967 Speaker 2: about their current employer. 433 00:19:28,567 --> 00:19:29,887 Speaker 1: But it's a test, hire them. 434 00:19:29,927 --> 00:19:30,607 Speaker 3: That's why I do it. 435 00:19:30,687 --> 00:19:34,567 Speaker 1: Yeah, it is. It's a test and forgossip person, thank 436 00:19:34,607 --> 00:19:36,527 Speaker 1: you for your understanding. But I love it. 437 00:19:38,407 --> 00:19:40,367 Speaker 2: Listening and changing your mind is a sign of strength, 438 00:19:40,407 --> 00:19:40,887 Speaker 2: not weakness. 439 00:19:41,007 --> 00:19:44,047 Speaker 1: Yea one hundred. Every time strong opinions lose me. 440 00:19:44,127 --> 00:19:46,767 Speaker 2: Hell, people who are very much like you know, oh 441 00:19:46,807 --> 00:19:48,567 Speaker 2: you used to think this, and no you think that, 442 00:19:48,607 --> 00:19:50,367 Speaker 2: and you said that that time and all that stuff. 443 00:19:50,407 --> 00:19:52,447 Speaker 2: They don't know what they're doing. Those people, they're silly. 444 00:19:53,047 --> 00:19:55,887 Speaker 2: And if you don't have a better idea, shut the 445 00:19:55,887 --> 00:19:56,367 Speaker 2: fuck up. 446 00:19:56,767 --> 00:19:59,087 Speaker 1: That is something I was by a lot. 447 00:19:59,967 --> 00:20:02,607 Speaker 2: You know, when you're just like I don't like that, 448 00:20:02,607 --> 00:20:04,407 Speaker 2: that's wrong. Da da da da da, And you can 449 00:20:04,447 --> 00:20:07,927 Speaker 2: get into a really negative cycle. You've got to ask yourself, 450 00:20:07,967 --> 00:20:09,047 Speaker 2: have I got a better idea? 451 00:20:09,327 --> 00:20:09,767 Speaker 1: Do I think? 452 00:20:09,807 --> 00:20:10,527 Speaker 3: How would I do it? 453 00:20:10,647 --> 00:20:14,887 Speaker 1: And honest yeah, is it better? Always? Yeah, that's what? 454 00:20:15,047 --> 00:20:16,927 Speaker 3: And can you be bothered to do it? Because you 455 00:20:17,007 --> 00:20:19,487 Speaker 3: probably can't, in which case forget about it. 456 00:20:19,727 --> 00:20:20,487 Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly. 457 00:20:20,607 --> 00:20:25,407 Speaker 3: There are some Okay, mine are weird. Good one that 458 00:20:25,447 --> 00:20:28,727 Speaker 3: I have is about memory. I've said it before, years 459 00:20:28,727 --> 00:20:30,447 Speaker 3: and years ago, but this is something I did when 460 00:20:30,447 --> 00:20:32,687 Speaker 3: I was studying at school, and I read this fact 461 00:20:32,687 --> 00:20:35,687 Speaker 3: somewhere and the fact might not be true. It doesn't matter. 462 00:20:36,327 --> 00:20:39,127 Speaker 3: If you want to remember something, memorize something, whether it's 463 00:20:39,127 --> 00:20:42,447 Speaker 3: like a speech or a fact or notes. I'll print 464 00:20:42,527 --> 00:20:45,567 Speaker 3: it on green paper. I read it once. Apparently if 465 00:20:45,607 --> 00:20:47,687 Speaker 3: you read off green paper, it's a trigger for memory. 466 00:20:47,767 --> 00:20:49,407 Speaker 2: Do you have green paper for that purpose? 467 00:20:49,967 --> 00:20:52,207 Speaker 3: I used to. I haven't needed it recently, but if 468 00:20:52,247 --> 00:20:55,687 Speaker 3: I was like doing a speech where I felt like 469 00:20:55,727 --> 00:20:57,447 Speaker 3: I needed to know this completely off by heart. I 470 00:20:57,447 --> 00:20:58,487 Speaker 3: would do it on green paper. 471 00:20:58,527 --> 00:21:00,247 Speaker 1: I wonder if you can replicate that on your phone, 472 00:21:00,327 --> 00:21:02,367 Speaker 1: because I mean, who's going to go out and buy 473 00:21:02,407 --> 00:21:02,887 Speaker 1: green paper? 474 00:21:03,047 --> 00:21:05,687 Speaker 3: See? I always do paper. I think phones very very different. 475 00:21:05,727 --> 00:21:08,447 Speaker 3: I think that my brain is wired to forget everything 476 00:21:08,487 --> 00:21:10,607 Speaker 3: I look at that's on are I think when it's 477 00:21:10,647 --> 00:21:12,247 Speaker 3: on paper, it holds totally different. 478 00:21:12,287 --> 00:21:13,927 Speaker 1: So did you like print out all your school notes 479 00:21:13,967 --> 00:21:15,087 Speaker 1: on green paper? Yeah? 480 00:21:15,327 --> 00:21:19,167 Speaker 3: Yep? And how green green that I'm still like read 481 00:21:19,247 --> 00:21:22,207 Speaker 3: it like that the black is still visible. But even 482 00:21:22,247 --> 00:21:25,167 Speaker 3: if it's not, if I'm telling my brain this green 483 00:21:25,247 --> 00:21:28,047 Speaker 3: paper means I'll memorize it, it's like pale green. 484 00:21:28,247 --> 00:21:28,647 Speaker 1: Yeah. 485 00:21:28,727 --> 00:21:31,847 Speaker 3: So that's always helped me. My rule for emails or 486 00:21:31,887 --> 00:21:34,927 Speaker 3: messages or anything is do not open it until you 487 00:21:34,967 --> 00:21:35,447 Speaker 3: can reply. 488 00:21:35,727 --> 00:21:38,167 Speaker 2: That's a really good rule because I always forget that rule, 489 00:21:38,207 --> 00:21:39,687 Speaker 2: and that's why I'm very bad on email. 490 00:21:39,767 --> 00:21:41,687 Speaker 1: I've got a minute, I'm going to read it. I'll go. 491 00:21:41,727 --> 00:21:43,487 Speaker 1: I'll get back to that later. No, I won't. 492 00:21:43,567 --> 00:21:45,687 Speaker 3: Now, my memory is not good enough for that. I 493 00:21:45,807 --> 00:21:50,647 Speaker 3: use the Pomodori method for just about everything. Yeah, so timing, yep. 494 00:21:50,887 --> 00:21:54,007 Speaker 3: I have a stopwatch for everything I do, what it is. 495 00:21:54,407 --> 00:21:57,447 Speaker 3: It's like recently I had this big ish project that 496 00:21:57,487 --> 00:21:59,607 Speaker 3: I had to complete, and it was like pulling teeth. 497 00:21:59,647 --> 00:22:02,167 Speaker 3: I just was not enjoying any I knew I needed 498 00:22:02,167 --> 00:22:05,647 Speaker 3: to do it, but it was a job, and every 499 00:22:05,647 --> 00:22:07,527 Speaker 3: time I sat down to do it, I would go, 500 00:22:07,567 --> 00:22:10,327 Speaker 3: you're going to do twenty minutes. Look the clock, time 501 00:22:10,367 --> 00:22:13,007 Speaker 3: it now, and just get twenty minutes of it. 502 00:22:13,047 --> 00:22:16,127 Speaker 1: So it's like you almost have to sneak up on yourself. Yep, yeah, 503 00:22:16,167 --> 00:22:16,567 Speaker 1: I do that. 504 00:22:16,647 --> 00:22:19,247 Speaker 2: I set thirty minutes on my phone, and then I 505 00:22:19,287 --> 00:22:21,527 Speaker 2: put my phone in a drawer somewhere away. 506 00:22:21,807 --> 00:22:22,047 Speaker 3: Yep. 507 00:22:22,167 --> 00:22:24,527 Speaker 2: And then when my thirty minutes goes off, that I focus. 508 00:22:24,607 --> 00:22:26,407 Speaker 2: I'm allowed to play with my phone for four minutes. 509 00:22:26,927 --> 00:22:28,647 Speaker 1: Then I have to put another timer on. 510 00:22:29,367 --> 00:22:32,407 Speaker 3: It actually makes you satisfied because sometimes when you're doing projects, 511 00:22:32,447 --> 00:22:35,047 Speaker 3: you can spend twenty minutes doing something and you've got 512 00:22:35,047 --> 00:22:37,647 Speaker 3: no more words, and you actually don't feel like you've 513 00:22:37,647 --> 00:22:39,647 Speaker 3: got anywhere, but you always have. So it's a way 514 00:22:39,647 --> 00:22:44,207 Speaker 3: of measuring progress. Another one I have is when you're 515 00:22:44,207 --> 00:22:48,047 Speaker 3: speaking to someone and they're telling you something, say you're right, 516 00:22:48,247 --> 00:22:51,807 Speaker 3: rather than I know, like if I'm really engaged and Holly, 517 00:22:51,887 --> 00:22:54,807 Speaker 3: you're telling me about the substance and your analysis of it, 518 00:22:55,327 --> 00:22:58,007 Speaker 3: and I say, yeah, I know, yeah, I know. It's 519 00:22:58,087 --> 00:23:00,287 Speaker 3: quite dismissive, and it sounds like I think I know everything. 520 00:23:00,767 --> 00:23:04,047 Speaker 3: It makes you feel a lot smarter if I'm like, oh, yeah, 521 00:23:04,047 --> 00:23:06,687 Speaker 3: you're right, you're right, it's true, which I think is 522 00:23:06,967 --> 00:23:08,247 Speaker 3: helpful for relation. 523 00:23:08,367 --> 00:23:11,287 Speaker 1: That's interesting tangent on that is that I found this 524 00:23:11,367 --> 00:23:13,447 Speaker 1: particularly when I had little kids and everyone's giving you 525 00:23:13,447 --> 00:23:16,047 Speaker 1: a lot of advice. Oh, and people like push it 526 00:23:16,127 --> 00:23:19,247 Speaker 1: onto you. And I used to try and push back 527 00:23:19,367 --> 00:23:21,247 Speaker 1: like I used to resent it, and then I realized 528 00:23:21,567 --> 00:23:25,807 Speaker 1: they'll keep going until you say, what a great idea, Yeah, 529 00:23:25,847 --> 00:23:28,607 Speaker 1: that will shut them up. Then they'll move on because 530 00:23:28,607 --> 00:23:30,287 Speaker 1: they think that you're going to do it and you're not. 531 00:23:30,647 --> 00:23:32,247 Speaker 1: But you just say that to make them still on them. 532 00:23:32,687 --> 00:23:34,727 Speaker 1: You just go. That is such a if anyone's giving 533 00:23:34,767 --> 00:23:35,927 Speaker 1: you advice you don't want to take. 534 00:23:37,087 --> 00:23:40,287 Speaker 3: My last one is argue the point, not the person 535 00:23:40,567 --> 00:23:42,687 Speaker 3: related to that, and never argue on the internet. But 536 00:23:43,087 --> 00:23:46,607 Speaker 3: anyone I see, or even if I'm having a discussion 537 00:23:46,887 --> 00:23:50,087 Speaker 3: or an argument with someone, there is a threshold by 538 00:23:50,087 --> 00:23:53,327 Speaker 3: which they've completely lost me and it's like any name calling, 539 00:23:53,407 --> 00:23:57,127 Speaker 3: even in people that I really respect their opinion, It's like, 540 00:23:58,007 --> 00:24:00,127 Speaker 3: at that point, I've just write it off. And it's 541 00:24:00,127 --> 00:24:03,527 Speaker 3: something that's really really hard to keep yourself accountable for. 542 00:24:03,687 --> 00:24:05,327 Speaker 3: And I think I'm better at it now than I 543 00:24:05,487 --> 00:24:07,487 Speaker 3: was five years ago, and hopefully in five years I'll 544 00:24:07,527 --> 00:24:10,727 Speaker 3: be much much better at it. But like playing the ball, 545 00:24:10,807 --> 00:24:11,647 Speaker 3: not the player or whatever. 546 00:24:12,087 --> 00:24:14,207 Speaker 1: So you mean, like the way the Internet's made everyone 547 00:24:14,287 --> 00:24:18,007 Speaker 1: jump straight to you're a racist, you're a fascist, ye, or. 548 00:24:17,967 --> 00:24:22,127 Speaker 2: Even like the vice presidential debate this week, Roundly people 549 00:24:22,167 --> 00:24:24,367 Speaker 2: are generally saying Jade Vance won that and all the 550 00:24:24,487 --> 00:24:27,527 Speaker 2: leftist people don't like him, right, including myself. But rather 551 00:24:27,567 --> 00:24:29,727 Speaker 2: than admitting that he won that, you know, like, but 552 00:24:29,767 --> 00:24:30,767 Speaker 2: that doesn't mean we should all go. 553 00:24:30,767 --> 00:24:32,167 Speaker 1: Out and vote for him. 554 00:24:32,447 --> 00:24:34,887 Speaker 2: They're all going, look at his stupid way he looks stupid, 555 00:24:34,927 --> 00:24:37,047 Speaker 2: Look at his stupid eyeline. I look at his stupid 556 00:24:37,087 --> 00:24:39,247 Speaker 2: and it's not eyeliner. But that's not the point. But 557 00:24:39,327 --> 00:24:43,007 Speaker 2: it's like petty name calling. I'm like, immediately I think 558 00:24:43,007 --> 00:24:44,007 Speaker 2: a lot less of that person. 559 00:24:44,047 --> 00:24:44,767 Speaker 1: Yeah, you know what I mean. 560 00:24:44,807 --> 00:24:47,687 Speaker 3: I also think that if we're having an argument and 561 00:24:47,807 --> 00:24:50,327 Speaker 3: you say something that I don't agree with, and then 562 00:24:50,407 --> 00:24:52,567 Speaker 3: I go, well, you would think that because and I 563 00:24:52,607 --> 00:24:56,247 Speaker 3: bring up something from your personal life, I've clearly lost 564 00:24:56,287 --> 00:24:58,727 Speaker 3: my either train of thought or my point, because if 565 00:24:58,727 --> 00:25:00,847 Speaker 3: my point's strong enough, then I don't need to start 566 00:25:01,087 --> 00:25:05,167 Speaker 3: character assassinating you or making assumptions about your life. Yeah, 567 00:25:05,207 --> 00:25:07,447 Speaker 3: it's something that I try and hold myself too. 568 00:25:07,287 --> 00:25:10,087 Speaker 1: Smart, because by calling someone a name, you just immediately 569 00:25:10,087 --> 00:25:13,487 Speaker 1: shut down any possibility of conversation. 570 00:25:13,287 --> 00:25:15,367 Speaker 2: Or making something personal that isn't personal. 571 00:25:15,447 --> 00:25:16,127 Speaker 1: Do you know what I mean? 572 00:25:16,207 --> 00:25:19,527 Speaker 2: Like, because then immediately just put somebody's back up and 573 00:25:19,567 --> 00:25:22,327 Speaker 2: you don't. Yeah, I agree, good one. I've got one 574 00:25:22,367 --> 00:25:28,127 Speaker 2: more sleep on it. Always, always, always, everything i'm really 575 00:25:28,207 --> 00:25:31,367 Speaker 2: really upset about. I nearly always feel better the next day. 576 00:25:31,567 --> 00:25:33,567 Speaker 2: So unless you can't sleep on it, because it's a 577 00:25:33,607 --> 00:25:35,247 Speaker 2: decision that needs to be made right now. 578 00:25:36,007 --> 00:25:39,567 Speaker 3: How about but everyone says about not going to bed 579 00:25:39,607 --> 00:25:41,607 Speaker 3: angry with your partner. What do you think of that? 580 00:25:42,287 --> 00:25:42,447 Speaker 1: Oh? 581 00:25:42,487 --> 00:25:46,567 Speaker 2: No, sometimes I'm not a grudge keeper, so I couldn't be. 582 00:25:46,767 --> 00:25:49,327 Speaker 2: Like I've got friends who cannot speak to their partner 583 00:25:49,367 --> 00:25:50,607 Speaker 2: for three days and live in the same house. 584 00:25:50,647 --> 00:25:52,367 Speaker 3: I could never ever do that. 585 00:25:53,287 --> 00:25:55,207 Speaker 2: It's just not my nature. It doesn't mean I'm particularly not. 586 00:25:55,287 --> 00:25:57,527 Speaker 2: It's just like I'm more of a goldfish, do you 587 00:25:57,527 --> 00:26:00,367 Speaker 2: know what I mean. So that's not so much of 588 00:26:00,407 --> 00:26:00,887 Speaker 2: a problem. 589 00:26:00,927 --> 00:26:02,847 Speaker 1: I think they's sleep on it things interesting because I 590 00:26:02,887 --> 00:26:05,567 Speaker 1: try to be that sometimes, but then I do sleep 591 00:26:05,607 --> 00:26:08,087 Speaker 1: because you have to in the course of an argument, 592 00:26:08,647 --> 00:26:13,007 Speaker 1: and then I just kind of lose interest. Grade Maybe 593 00:26:13,047 --> 00:26:15,607 Speaker 1: that's good, right, yeah, because it can be frustrating when 594 00:26:15,647 --> 00:26:17,887 Speaker 1: I want to hold it. If it was worth holding, 595 00:26:18,287 --> 00:26:19,687 Speaker 1: you maybe would hold it. 596 00:26:19,727 --> 00:26:22,767 Speaker 3: Out Louders please jump in to the mummy or out 597 00:26:22,807 --> 00:26:25,007 Speaker 3: Louders Facebook group. We've got a thread in there that 598 00:26:25,087 --> 00:26:28,927 Speaker 3: will pin with a whole lot of cheat codes for life. 599 00:26:29,127 --> 00:26:31,807 Speaker 3: Please jump in and add yours. I am reading all 600 00:26:31,887 --> 00:26:34,527 Speaker 3: of them. 601 00:26:34,567 --> 00:26:35,807 Speaker 1: That's actually a low path. 602 00:26:39,407 --> 00:26:41,247 Speaker 2: It's Friday, and we're going to help you set up 603 00:26:41,247 --> 00:26:45,207 Speaker 2: your weekend for maximum pleasure and enjoyment and intellectual stimulation. 604 00:26:45,607 --> 00:26:48,127 Speaker 2: Mea Friedman, what is your recommendation for this week? 605 00:26:48,487 --> 00:26:53,127 Speaker 1: It's very specific And if anyone has been following some 606 00:26:53,167 --> 00:26:56,287 Speaker 1: of the videos I've been putting of my outfits on 607 00:26:56,367 --> 00:27:01,727 Speaker 1: Instagram lately, I've become very fixated with Copenhagen Street style. 608 00:27:01,887 --> 00:27:03,807 Speaker 2: See I don't know anything about this and I need 609 00:27:03,847 --> 00:27:04,767 Speaker 2: you to explain it to me. 610 00:27:04,807 --> 00:27:06,767 Speaker 3: Are you talking about Copenhagen the place? 611 00:27:06,927 --> 00:27:10,607 Speaker 1: Yeah, not the ice s creen, No, that's Hargan Dash. 612 00:27:11,007 --> 00:27:13,047 Speaker 3: Is there a brand Copenhagen. 613 00:27:13,327 --> 00:27:16,727 Speaker 1: No, it's a city, all right, Yeah, it was a city, 614 00:27:16,767 --> 00:27:20,407 Speaker 1: but in which our Mary is queen, the queen of that. Okay, 615 00:27:20,407 --> 00:27:22,247 Speaker 1: So I'm not very good about geography, and I just 616 00:27:22,327 --> 00:27:25,367 Speaker 1: learned that Copenhagen's in Denmark. I didn't know where it 617 00:27:25,407 --> 00:27:30,887 Speaker 1: was anyway. There's a particular style of fashion that comes 618 00:27:30,927 --> 00:27:35,367 Speaker 1: out of Copenhagen, and it's very I can't explain it. 619 00:27:36,367 --> 00:27:40,447 Speaker 2: Your vibe, right, your vibe, it's like cool edgy, baggy. 620 00:27:40,767 --> 00:27:44,087 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's things that don't match obviously. Do you know 621 00:27:44,127 --> 00:27:47,007 Speaker 1: how we did our three words? It's my three words, 622 00:27:47,007 --> 00:27:50,807 Speaker 1: so it's comfortable. It's a bit quirky. That wasn't one 623 00:27:50,807 --> 00:27:52,487 Speaker 1: of my words, but it's a bit quirky and it 624 00:27:52,567 --> 00:27:55,007 Speaker 1: sparks joy. So it's like there's a lot of color, 625 00:27:55,327 --> 00:27:56,727 Speaker 1: there's interesting textures. 626 00:27:56,847 --> 00:27:58,767 Speaker 2: Where do I find it? Because you keep telling me this, 627 00:27:58,807 --> 00:27:59,927 Speaker 2: but I haven't found any. 628 00:28:00,167 --> 00:28:03,247 Speaker 1: So I literally just go to YouTube, and this is 629 00:28:03,327 --> 00:28:04,887 Speaker 1: very interesting. I used to watch the news in the 630 00:28:04,887 --> 00:28:08,287 Speaker 1: morning when I was on the treadmill each morning. Now 631 00:28:08,647 --> 00:28:11,607 Speaker 1: I just go to YouTube exactly. I go to YouTube 632 00:28:11,727 --> 00:28:16,647 Speaker 1: and I just search Copenhagen street style and there are 633 00:28:16,727 --> 00:28:20,007 Speaker 1: videos and I just watch them. I just watch people 634 00:28:20,047 --> 00:28:24,367 Speaker 1: in Copenhagen and they ride bikes and they're stylish, and 635 00:28:24,447 --> 00:28:26,407 Speaker 1: I just watch them and it is so soothing and 636 00:28:26,487 --> 00:28:27,407 Speaker 1: usually there's music. 637 00:28:27,847 --> 00:28:30,407 Speaker 3: It's fun. I'm looking at it now. Was there a 638 00:28:30,407 --> 00:28:31,327 Speaker 3: fashion week recently? 639 00:28:31,887 --> 00:28:32,807 Speaker 1: A fashion week recently? 640 00:28:32,887 --> 00:28:34,047 Speaker 3: Like I like this purple thing. 641 00:28:34,207 --> 00:28:36,327 Speaker 1: Yeah, this is so Some of the brands that are 642 00:28:36,367 --> 00:28:39,407 Speaker 1: Copenhagen is Bauman, Fettergarten and Gharany is one that you 643 00:28:39,487 --> 00:28:42,047 Speaker 1: might have heard of. Those kind of iconic shoes. They're 644 00:28:42,047 --> 00:28:43,247 Speaker 1: called Garni ballery Is shoes. 645 00:28:43,847 --> 00:28:45,687 Speaker 2: Was gharney from Copenhagen, Yeah. 646 00:28:45,487 --> 00:28:49,527 Speaker 1: Gharney's I think it's all yeah no, but it's a style. 647 00:28:49,607 --> 00:28:52,207 Speaker 1: You don't have to buy those labels. It's not about 648 00:28:52,207 --> 00:28:53,847 Speaker 1: I don't let look at the things and go I'm 649 00:28:53,847 --> 00:28:56,727 Speaker 1: going to go and buy that thing. It's more a vibe. 650 00:28:57,007 --> 00:29:00,967 Speaker 1: It's a vibe and I'm just obsessed and I I 651 00:29:01,007 --> 00:29:02,687 Speaker 1: think I want to go and live in Copenhagen for 652 00:29:02,727 --> 00:29:04,447 Speaker 1: a bit next year. As if. 653 00:29:06,607 --> 00:29:08,887 Speaker 2: Next year you have you made yourself? I know, I 654 00:29:09,287 --> 00:29:10,487 Speaker 2: think it would be very exciting to. 655 00:29:10,407 --> 00:29:12,687 Speaker 1: Go and do that. I'm all for midlight. Yeah, I've 656 00:29:12,767 --> 00:29:15,807 Speaker 1: just stopped resisting my hyperfixations. And it's just like I'm 657 00:29:15,847 --> 00:29:18,367 Speaker 1: in Copenhagen at the moment, and that's where I like 658 00:29:18,407 --> 00:29:18,607 Speaker 1: to be. 659 00:29:18,807 --> 00:29:21,287 Speaker 3: You know how, when my little girl Learner is at 660 00:29:21,287 --> 00:29:24,207 Speaker 3: your place, sometimes she watches dogs at the park, dog TV, 661 00:29:24,367 --> 00:29:26,727 Speaker 3: Dog TV, This is your dog TV, this is my 662 00:29:26,807 --> 00:29:27,287 Speaker 3: dog TV. 663 00:29:27,727 --> 00:29:31,367 Speaker 1: It's really soothing for my brain because I can't just 664 00:29:31,407 --> 00:29:34,167 Speaker 1: be on the treadmill or anything without having something to watch. 665 00:29:34,607 --> 00:29:37,287 Speaker 1: But it's very, very soothing, particularly at the moment when 666 00:29:37,287 --> 00:29:40,047 Speaker 1: the news story is so blue and it's slow, because 667 00:29:40,047 --> 00:29:42,367 Speaker 1: often the videos are into my emotion and I don't 668 00:29:42,407 --> 00:29:44,207 Speaker 1: like talking. I don't want people to say what they're wearing. 669 00:29:44,247 --> 00:29:46,487 Speaker 1: I just like the ones with music that shows the 670 00:29:46,527 --> 00:29:49,487 Speaker 1: people walking in the street. All right, it's my creative mate. 671 00:29:49,647 --> 00:29:51,887 Speaker 1: Think I'll be here and I'll be gone. Is this Copenhagen? 672 00:29:51,967 --> 00:29:54,567 Speaker 1: What about this? I thought I was French. France isn't 673 00:29:54,567 --> 00:29:55,647 Speaker 1: that far from Denmark? 674 00:29:55,967 --> 00:29:56,167 Speaker 5: Maybe? 675 00:29:56,287 --> 00:29:57,007 Speaker 1: Anyway. 676 00:29:57,087 --> 00:29:59,167 Speaker 2: I can't even tell you how much I would rather 677 00:29:59,207 --> 00:30:02,207 Speaker 2: be at home right now watching nobody wants this. 678 00:30:02,527 --> 00:30:03,327 Speaker 1: I've just started. 679 00:30:03,727 --> 00:30:06,287 Speaker 9: We've done this podcast for like one hundred and eighteen episodes, 680 00:30:06,327 --> 00:30:07,807 Speaker 9: and this story you're telling it just. 681 00:30:07,767 --> 00:30:11,327 Speaker 1: Sounds like very familiar. All right, I could make healthier 682 00:30:11,367 --> 00:30:12,327 Speaker 1: relationship choices. 683 00:30:12,767 --> 00:30:15,607 Speaker 8: Hi everyone, I'm Joanne. 684 00:30:15,847 --> 00:30:16,727 Speaker 2: I'm Noah. 685 00:30:16,767 --> 00:30:18,847 Speaker 3: Did you know what. There's a rabbi here? No shit, 686 00:30:19,087 --> 00:30:20,367 Speaker 3: yeah where he. 687 00:30:20,287 --> 00:30:22,767 Speaker 1: Has a beard and he was definitely judging me. Sounds 688 00:30:22,767 --> 00:30:26,207 Speaker 1: like a rabbi. Here's your farm. 689 00:30:26,927 --> 00:30:29,847 Speaker 4: There is not a Jewish bone in her body unless 690 00:30:30,087 --> 00:30:33,247 Speaker 4: you put one in her sh you're the rabbi. 691 00:30:34,007 --> 00:30:34,647 Speaker 9: It's heart right. 692 00:30:35,167 --> 00:30:36,567 Speaker 1: I'm sure all the out Lauder is watching it. 693 00:30:36,567 --> 00:30:38,847 Speaker 2: In fact, they were in the group saying watch this, 694 00:30:38,967 --> 00:30:40,887 Speaker 2: and I was like, everybody's telling me to watch it. 695 00:30:40,967 --> 00:30:44,527 Speaker 2: We've all got to watch it. And it is on Netflix. 696 00:30:44,847 --> 00:30:49,127 Speaker 2: It is a rom com series starring Kirsten Bell and 697 00:30:49,207 --> 00:30:53,207 Speaker 2: Adam Brodie. And he's a rabbi and she's a chaotic 698 00:30:53,727 --> 00:30:58,327 Speaker 2: podcaster who has a sex podcast with her sister from Succession, Yes, 699 00:30:58,447 --> 00:31:01,847 Speaker 2: from Succession, she was Willa and they are falling in 700 00:31:01,927 --> 00:31:09,967 Speaker 2: love and it is the most delightful silly show. The 701 00:31:10,127 --> 00:31:13,047 Speaker 2: episodes are all short, which makes me happy. Some of 702 00:31:13,087 --> 00:31:15,647 Speaker 2: it's funny I've left out loud three times so far, 703 00:31:15,967 --> 00:31:17,887 Speaker 2: watch three episodes, so that's one last pre episode. 704 00:31:17,887 --> 00:31:18,447 Speaker 1: That's not bad. 705 00:31:19,167 --> 00:31:24,607 Speaker 2: The chemistry is amazing and I love it. My friends 706 00:31:24,607 --> 00:31:27,327 Speaker 2: based Emily in Paris, that's my thing. I want to watch. 707 00:31:27,607 --> 00:31:30,287 Speaker 1: My non Jewish friends keep texting me who was single? 708 00:31:30,447 --> 00:31:33,207 Speaker 1: Do you know any sexy rabbis you can introduce me to? 709 00:31:33,527 --> 00:31:37,167 Speaker 2: So I have questions for my Jewish friend because obviously, 710 00:31:37,207 --> 00:31:40,887 Speaker 2: because the plot line is he's a rabbi, she's not. 711 00:31:40,927 --> 00:31:44,007 Speaker 3: Jewish person, which is what I am. 712 00:31:44,207 --> 00:31:47,367 Speaker 2: And in fact, I listened to Kristin Bell and Adam 713 00:31:47,367 --> 00:31:50,447 Speaker 2: Brody being interviewed about this on Jax Shepherd's podcast Funny 714 00:31:50,447 --> 00:31:52,767 Speaker 2: that because he's married to Christin Bell, and it was 715 00:31:52,847 --> 00:31:55,487 Speaker 2: going to be called Shisa because they produced it obviously, 716 00:31:55,687 --> 00:31:57,407 Speaker 2: so siser is what they said. 717 00:31:57,447 --> 00:32:00,087 Speaker 1: It's like talked out of it. Yeah, it's like a slang. 718 00:32:00,247 --> 00:32:02,087 Speaker 1: It's not a derogatory term at least I don't think 719 00:32:02,087 --> 00:32:05,127 Speaker 1: it is. It's slang for a woman who isn't Jewish. 720 00:32:05,607 --> 00:32:08,727 Speaker 2: And so, for example, when Kristin Bell turns up at 721 00:32:08,727 --> 00:32:11,087 Speaker 2: the synagogue and all the family see her, and the 722 00:32:11,127 --> 00:32:13,687 Speaker 2: family are all very pissed off about the shiksa like 723 00:32:13,927 --> 00:32:15,727 Speaker 2: very pissed off, and that's gonna be the whole point 724 00:32:15,767 --> 00:32:15,967 Speaker 2: of this. 725 00:32:16,607 --> 00:32:17,367 Speaker 1: I wanted to know. 726 00:32:17,487 --> 00:32:19,047 Speaker 2: And I know you might not have watched enough of it, 727 00:32:19,167 --> 00:32:22,807 Speaker 2: but the stereotypes of the Jewish family in this are very, 728 00:32:23,647 --> 00:32:26,887 Speaker 2: very boldly drawn. Right there's the overbearing mother who she's 729 00:32:26,887 --> 00:32:28,647 Speaker 2: going to lose her mind if he doesn't marry a 730 00:32:28,727 --> 00:32:31,207 Speaker 2: Jewish woman. There's the sister in law who's going to 731 00:32:31,247 --> 00:32:32,967 Speaker 2: lose her mind if he doesn't marry a Jewish woman. 732 00:32:33,047 --> 00:32:35,087 Speaker 2: All the women are like ah, and the men are 733 00:32:35,087 --> 00:32:37,847 Speaker 2: all a bit woo. He himself is a wonderful character, 734 00:32:37,927 --> 00:32:41,207 Speaker 2: like a really good guy. Is that offensive? 735 00:32:41,927 --> 00:32:43,847 Speaker 1: Like, I'm not offended by it, Like, of all the 736 00:32:43,847 --> 00:32:45,527 Speaker 1: things that are going on at the moment, that's not 737 00:32:45,687 --> 00:32:50,727 Speaker 1: on my list of things that I find problematic. No, Like, 738 00:32:51,207 --> 00:32:55,087 Speaker 1: there's truth in stereotypes right often. And I'm only speaking 739 00:32:55,087 --> 00:32:57,327 Speaker 1: for myself, And again I haven't watched much of it, 740 00:32:57,407 --> 00:33:00,447 Speaker 1: so I don't know what's going to happen. But you know, 741 00:33:00,487 --> 00:33:06,567 Speaker 1: I think in these very mainstream blockbustery shows, there are 742 00:33:06,607 --> 00:33:09,207 Speaker 1: so many stereotypes that's kind of the point of them. 743 00:33:09,527 --> 00:33:12,087 Speaker 1: Like everyone is sort of reduced and there's like the 744 00:33:12,887 --> 00:33:15,727 Speaker 1: gay Asian best friend and you know, so it's like 745 00:33:15,887 --> 00:33:19,847 Speaker 1: there are many stereotypes of many different people. The thing 746 00:33:19,887 --> 00:33:22,327 Speaker 1: that I think is funny is that now the cool 747 00:33:23,167 --> 00:33:24,607 Speaker 1: job is being a podcast. 748 00:33:24,647 --> 00:33:26,767 Speaker 2: I know. And it's funny because her and her sister 749 00:33:26,807 --> 00:33:29,927 Speaker 2: are negotiating with Spotify to buy their podcast. In the 750 00:33:29,927 --> 00:33:33,207 Speaker 2: show Spotify like it's sex, sex, and Kristen Bell because 751 00:33:33,207 --> 00:33:35,127 Speaker 2: obviously she's getting a little bit cold feet because she's 752 00:33:35,167 --> 00:33:37,047 Speaker 2: about fall in love and she's like, it's not just sex, 753 00:33:37,087 --> 00:33:40,687 Speaker 2: it's feminism and blah blah blah, and she says to 754 00:33:40,727 --> 00:33:42,567 Speaker 2: her sister, we don't just want to be a call 755 00:33:42,607 --> 00:33:45,447 Speaker 2: your daddy knockoff, and her sister's like, no, God forbid, 756 00:33:45,447 --> 00:33:49,327 Speaker 2: that pays thirty five million dollars to get our show contemporary. 757 00:33:49,447 --> 00:33:52,527 Speaker 2: It's very contemporary. It's funny, it's cute. The chemistry is amazing. 758 00:33:52,567 --> 00:33:55,647 Speaker 2: And speaking of cheat codes, they said this on the 759 00:33:55,687 --> 00:33:58,327 Speaker 2: interview I saw, but their first kiss is billed as 760 00:33:58,367 --> 00:34:00,487 Speaker 2: the best kiss that either of them have ever had, right, 761 00:34:01,047 --> 00:34:03,887 Speaker 2: and it's supposed to be the most amazing kiss and 762 00:34:04,207 --> 00:34:07,087 Speaker 2: you can feel it through the screen. But she said 763 00:34:07,127 --> 00:34:11,007 Speaker 2: it was all about his hand on her face. So yeah, 764 00:34:11,847 --> 00:34:14,847 Speaker 2: speaking about cheat codes for life. Men and women just 765 00:34:14,927 --> 00:34:18,967 Speaker 2: need to know that that hand on face is hot, hot, hot, 766 00:34:19,007 --> 00:34:22,807 Speaker 2: hot hot. The chemistry is great. Anyway, that's my reco. 767 00:34:23,207 --> 00:34:28,807 Speaker 3: My reco is a documentary on Netflix and depressing. Look 768 00:34:28,847 --> 00:34:31,367 Speaker 3: I haven't watched the very very end yet, so I'm 769 00:34:31,447 --> 00:34:33,287 Speaker 3: unclear on that. But an out Louder put it in 770 00:34:33,287 --> 00:34:35,207 Speaker 3: the group over the weekend and was like, Jesse needs 771 00:34:35,247 --> 00:34:39,007 Speaker 3: to watch this. Oh my goodness, this show has blown 772 00:34:39,087 --> 00:34:42,247 Speaker 3: my mind. It's called Into the Fire The Lost Daughter, 773 00:34:42,487 --> 00:34:44,527 Speaker 3: and it's actually produced by Charlie's the Run. 774 00:34:45,967 --> 00:34:50,327 Speaker 10: She'd been missing twenty one years when they finally found me. 775 00:34:52,727 --> 00:34:54,767 Speaker 10: I was only seventeen years old when I put my 776 00:34:54,967 --> 00:34:58,167 Speaker 10: daughter of her adoption. Throughout my life, she's always in 777 00:34:58,167 --> 00:35:02,487 Speaker 10: my mind. When I found out she went missing, I thought, 778 00:35:02,487 --> 00:35:04,687 Speaker 10: I gotta find this kid alive. I don't care if 779 00:35:04,727 --> 00:35:07,207 Speaker 10: I have to walk over God's green Earth to do it. 780 00:35:08,327 --> 00:35:11,727 Speaker 10: If I couldn't do any nothing else for her, I 781 00:35:11,807 --> 00:35:12,447 Speaker 10: was going to do this. 782 00:35:13,847 --> 00:35:16,247 Speaker 3: And it's a two parter. It begins with a woman 783 00:35:16,327 --> 00:35:18,487 Speaker 3: named Kathy and she had a child when she was 784 00:35:18,527 --> 00:35:23,007 Speaker 3: sixteen who she placed for adoption. And it's complicated why 785 00:35:23,047 --> 00:35:24,767 Speaker 3: she made that decision. She was sort of pushed into 786 00:35:24,847 --> 00:35:27,927 Speaker 3: it by her mother, but she thought, I love this 787 00:35:28,047 --> 00:35:30,447 Speaker 3: baby and I want this baby to have the most 788 00:35:30,487 --> 00:35:33,607 Speaker 3: incredible life she can possibly have. She named the baby Alexis. 789 00:35:34,047 --> 00:35:36,127 Speaker 3: Wanted her to find the best family, and so the 790 00:35:36,167 --> 00:35:38,527 Speaker 3: agency said, we found this great family. So she goes 791 00:35:38,567 --> 00:35:40,127 Speaker 3: off to this family and she thinks about it every 792 00:35:40,167 --> 00:35:43,287 Speaker 3: single day, but it's a closed adoption, so she can't know. 793 00:35:43,487 --> 00:35:44,927 Speaker 3: And then she gets a letter in the mail. This 794 00:35:44,967 --> 00:35:48,007 Speaker 3: isn't a spoiler years and years later that says, Hi, 795 00:35:48,487 --> 00:35:50,807 Speaker 3: we're the adoption agency. We need a sample of your 796 00:35:50,887 --> 00:35:53,367 Speaker 3: DNA because a body has just shown up and we 797 00:35:53,407 --> 00:35:58,047 Speaker 3: think that it's your daughter and you're the only biological connection. 798 00:35:58,567 --> 00:36:01,367 Speaker 3: And so she's like, what has happened? And it turns 799 00:36:01,407 --> 00:36:03,807 Speaker 3: out that at fourteen her daughter went missing. So it's 800 00:36:03,847 --> 00:36:07,167 Speaker 3: anyone who has placed a child up for adoption your 801 00:36:07,207 --> 00:36:11,127 Speaker 3: worst nightmare. Now the re and why this is such 802 00:36:11,167 --> 00:36:14,847 Speaker 3: a fascinating documentary is because of Kathy, who has not 803 00:36:14,967 --> 00:36:17,487 Speaker 3: met this well, she didn't meet the charge. She saw 804 00:36:17,487 --> 00:36:19,487 Speaker 3: her last when she was about seven months old, but 805 00:36:19,927 --> 00:36:23,567 Speaker 3: fights to find out what happened, what the truth about 806 00:36:23,727 --> 00:36:27,527 Speaker 3: the family that she went to and uncovers all of 807 00:36:27,567 --> 00:36:29,687 Speaker 3: this stuff, like it's one of those documentaries that you're 808 00:36:29,727 --> 00:36:32,047 Speaker 3: sitting there and you just gasped. Luca and I were 809 00:36:32,087 --> 00:36:36,527 Speaker 3: just going, like the twists in the first episode are amazing. 810 00:36:36,087 --> 00:36:37,887 Speaker 1: And this is all real. When did that happen? 811 00:36:38,167 --> 00:36:40,567 Speaker 3: She got that letter in twenty ten, So it's about 812 00:36:40,567 --> 00:36:43,087 Speaker 3: what's been happening over really the last ten years. 813 00:36:43,727 --> 00:36:46,127 Speaker 1: It's just amazing, unusual shit. 814 00:36:46,207 --> 00:36:48,887 Speaker 3: Yeah. It is called Into the Fire The Lost Order, 815 00:36:48,927 --> 00:36:50,207 Speaker 3: and it is on Netflix. 816 00:36:52,727 --> 00:36:53,327 Speaker 1: Out loud as. 817 00:36:53,327 --> 00:36:55,087 Speaker 2: If you want to listen to us every day of 818 00:36:55,087 --> 00:36:57,687 Speaker 2: the week, and why wouldn't you, you can get access 819 00:36:57,727 --> 00:37:01,447 Speaker 2: to exclusive segments on Tuesdays and Thursdays by becoming a 820 00:37:01,487 --> 00:37:04,687 Speaker 2: Muma mea subscriber. Follow the link in the show notes 821 00:37:04,687 --> 00:37:07,607 Speaker 2: to subscribe, and a big thank you to all our 822 00:37:07,687 --> 00:37:13,287 Speaker 2: current subscribers. 823 00:37:18,727 --> 00:37:21,447 Speaker 1: It's time for our best and worst moments of the week, 824 00:37:21,567 --> 00:37:25,607 Speaker 1: where we share a little more from our personal lives. Holly, 825 00:37:25,607 --> 00:37:27,967 Speaker 1: do you want to kick off? What's your worst of 826 00:37:28,007 --> 00:37:28,487 Speaker 1: the week. 827 00:37:28,767 --> 00:37:31,847 Speaker 2: My worst of the week is that my daughter, like 828 00:37:31,967 --> 00:37:34,247 Speaker 2: every fourteen year old in the world, I imagine, is 829 00:37:34,287 --> 00:37:37,127 Speaker 2: addicted to TikTok. That's where she gets all her world 830 00:37:37,167 --> 00:37:40,327 Speaker 2: news from. Sometimes This is helpful because it's like adore 831 00:37:40,607 --> 00:37:42,607 Speaker 2: into a topic I want to discuss. So she'll be like, 832 00:37:42,927 --> 00:37:45,567 Speaker 2: what's happening with Trump and Harris and the American election? 833 00:37:45,687 --> 00:37:47,607 Speaker 2: I want to know? Like I saw that he called 834 00:37:47,607 --> 00:37:49,567 Speaker 2: her a blah blah and she said blah, and I'm like, 835 00:37:49,887 --> 00:37:50,527 Speaker 2: teachable moment. 836 00:37:50,567 --> 00:37:51,047 Speaker 1: This is fun. 837 00:37:51,607 --> 00:37:55,767 Speaker 2: And sometimes it's just like a chaotic stream of conspiracy 838 00:37:56,487 --> 00:37:58,807 Speaker 2: that just makes you realize one of the many reasons. 839 00:37:58,607 --> 00:37:59,567 Speaker 1: Why the world is so weird. 840 00:37:59,567 --> 00:38:02,087 Speaker 3: But what I think I'm on Matilda's. 841 00:38:01,527 --> 00:38:02,527 Speaker 1: Ticto, I think you must be. 842 00:38:02,967 --> 00:38:05,567 Speaker 2: This week, in particular, we talked about the P. Diddy 843 00:38:05,807 --> 00:38:08,447 Speaker 2: allegations last week and the fact that he is currently 844 00:38:08,447 --> 00:38:11,847 Speaker 2: in jail and on an ever increasing slate of charges 845 00:38:11,927 --> 00:38:14,807 Speaker 2: of sexual abuse and sex trafficking and all kinds of 846 00:38:14,847 --> 00:38:19,087 Speaker 2: awful things. And Matilda's TikTok algorithm is clearly obsessed with this, 847 00:38:19,127 --> 00:38:21,447 Speaker 2: which is not great to start with, but it also 848 00:38:21,967 --> 00:38:25,287 Speaker 2: it's so blatantly misogynistic. Like so she'll sort of say 849 00:38:25,287 --> 00:38:27,607 Speaker 2: to me, so, what about that P Diddy stuff? And 850 00:38:27,647 --> 00:38:29,607 Speaker 2: I'll be like, oh God, And I'll be like, okay, 851 00:38:29,647 --> 00:38:31,167 Speaker 2: and let's talk about that a bit. And she's like, 852 00:38:31,647 --> 00:38:35,047 Speaker 2: I've heard that, like Beyonce knows about it, and Rihanna 853 00:38:35,127 --> 00:38:37,127 Speaker 2: knows about it, and it's all this person's fault and 854 00:38:37,127 --> 00:38:38,327 Speaker 2: that person's fault, and it's. 855 00:38:38,167 --> 00:38:40,047 Speaker 1: Always women, women, women, women women. 856 00:38:40,127 --> 00:38:42,527 Speaker 2: And she's like, and there's a big conspiracy about this 857 00:38:42,607 --> 00:38:44,407 Speaker 2: and this and this, and you're just like, whoa. 858 00:38:44,527 --> 00:38:47,567 Speaker 3: And there's a conspiracy theory about why Kanye got up 859 00:38:47,607 --> 00:38:50,407 Speaker 3: at the VMA yes and said I'm gonna let you 860 00:38:50,407 --> 00:38:54,447 Speaker 3: finish yep. And it's basically like Beyonce is at the center. 861 00:38:54,567 --> 00:38:56,407 Speaker 3: This is a conspiracy? Is it the center of the 862 00:38:56,447 --> 00:38:58,807 Speaker 3: p didy thing? I can't even fully follow it, but 863 00:38:58,927 --> 00:39:00,527 Speaker 3: my algorithm wants me to believe. 864 00:39:00,287 --> 00:39:02,487 Speaker 2: And it so it's like, this is what Matilda's saying 865 00:39:02,527 --> 00:39:04,527 Speaker 2: to me. The reason that everybody at the Grammy's always 866 00:39:04,527 --> 00:39:06,647 Speaker 2: thanks Beyonce is because they have to or they'll get murdered. 867 00:39:06,687 --> 00:39:10,767 Speaker 2: Like she's like, very it's this right ever escalating, and 868 00:39:10,807 --> 00:39:12,847 Speaker 2: so you're always trying to pull it back down. So 869 00:39:12,927 --> 00:39:15,167 Speaker 2: maybe we're trapped in the cargoing somewhere and that's great, 870 00:39:15,167 --> 00:39:17,087 Speaker 2: and I'll be like, so, you know, this is what 871 00:39:17,127 --> 00:39:18,847 Speaker 2: appears to have happened, and I'll be talking to her 872 00:39:18,927 --> 00:39:21,847 Speaker 2: about really serious things about how women can find themselves 873 00:39:22,927 --> 00:39:25,047 Speaker 2: abused in this situation, blah blah, blah blah. And she's 874 00:39:25,127 --> 00:39:26,927 Speaker 2: just like, yeah, but what about that, Taylor. 875 00:39:26,687 --> 00:39:30,207 Speaker 3: Swift just like, oh my god, we're all being radicalized, 876 00:39:30,367 --> 00:39:31,007 Speaker 3: all being. 877 00:39:30,887 --> 00:39:34,247 Speaker 2: Radicalized, and it's very hard to unpick like the good 878 00:39:34,327 --> 00:39:36,167 Speaker 2: the bad. And I know that it's easy to say, well, 879 00:39:36,207 --> 00:39:39,807 Speaker 2: she shouldn't be on TikTok, but TikTok's where they live, 880 00:39:40,527 --> 00:39:42,367 Speaker 2: so bring on the band so I don't have to 881 00:39:42,447 --> 00:39:46,047 Speaker 2: deal with this anymore. I don't think that's going to happen. 882 00:39:46,167 --> 00:39:48,887 Speaker 2: My best though, also involved spending time with kids, as 883 00:39:48,967 --> 00:39:51,487 Speaker 2: people who follow me know and indeed who listen to 884 00:39:51,487 --> 00:39:54,367 Speaker 2: this pod at and mid Is. We've been sponsored lately 885 00:39:54,367 --> 00:39:57,167 Speaker 2: by Discovery Parks, and this isn't a sponsorship, but it's 886 00:39:57,167 --> 00:39:59,247 Speaker 2: meant that we've gone away a couple of times, right, 887 00:39:59,287 --> 00:40:01,487 Speaker 2: which has been really nice as a family to go 888 00:40:01,567 --> 00:40:05,407 Speaker 2: away for weekends. And it's the school holidays, and I'm 889 00:40:05,487 --> 00:40:07,087 Speaker 2: up in Sydney a lot for work, and there's a 890 00:40:07,127 --> 00:40:08,967 Speaker 2: lot of time I don't get to spend with the kids, 891 00:40:09,007 --> 00:40:11,767 Speaker 2: and so so having these little concentrated moments where we're 892 00:40:11,767 --> 00:40:13,887 Speaker 2: all in the same place together has been amazing. We're 893 00:40:13,887 --> 00:40:16,087 Speaker 2: actually going on holiday, not anything to do with that 894 00:40:16,807 --> 00:40:19,607 Speaker 2: next week, And I don't know, I just love. I 895 00:40:19,647 --> 00:40:21,607 Speaker 2: know some people don't love holidays. Me as one of them. 896 00:40:22,127 --> 00:40:26,207 Speaker 1: I love and immorced togetherness. 897 00:40:25,607 --> 00:40:28,407 Speaker 3: Of a fact since becoming a parent, the amount of 898 00:40:28,447 --> 00:40:30,847 Speaker 3: people who say you never have a holiday again when 899 00:40:30,847 --> 00:40:32,927 Speaker 3: you're a parent, Do you agree or disagree? 900 00:40:33,007 --> 00:40:33,807 Speaker 1: Disagree? Now? 901 00:40:34,087 --> 00:40:36,167 Speaker 2: Okay, So I saw Sally Heptath writing about this on 902 00:40:36,207 --> 00:40:39,527 Speaker 2: her Instagram recently. Actually, there's a moment that ticks over. 903 00:40:39,687 --> 00:40:43,087 Speaker 2: So when your kids are little, family holidays can just 904 00:40:43,127 --> 00:40:46,327 Speaker 2: be they're just relocations. You go somewhere and you've got 905 00:40:46,367 --> 00:40:48,047 Speaker 2: to follow them around all the time. You haven't got 906 00:40:48,087 --> 00:40:50,847 Speaker 2: all your usual distractions, you won't get a break. 907 00:40:51,207 --> 00:40:52,127 Speaker 1: But then there's a. 908 00:40:52,087 --> 00:40:53,887 Speaker 2: Magical point where it ticks over. And this is what 909 00:40:53,927 --> 00:40:55,847 Speaker 2: Sally was saying on hers like she used to look 910 00:40:55,847 --> 00:40:57,887 Speaker 2: at the women lying by Paul's reading books while their 911 00:40:57,967 --> 00:40:59,207 Speaker 2: kids frolicked. 912 00:40:58,767 --> 00:41:00,327 Speaker 1: And be like that bitch. 913 00:41:00,767 --> 00:41:03,727 Speaker 2: And She's like, now I'm that bitch, and I'm now 914 00:41:03,767 --> 00:41:05,927 Speaker 2: that bitch. So these trips we've gone on, there are 915 00:41:06,007 --> 00:41:08,167 Speaker 2: lots of things for the kids to do, and they 916 00:41:08,167 --> 00:41:10,367 Speaker 2: can go and do them and I actually get a holiday, 917 00:41:10,447 --> 00:41:15,007 Speaker 2: and so now it's much more enjoyable, relaxing, and you're 918 00:41:15,007 --> 00:41:18,367 Speaker 2: together and you haven't got all the distractions and they've 919 00:41:18,367 --> 00:41:19,527 Speaker 2: got to do this and I've got to do that, 920 00:41:19,567 --> 00:41:21,687 Speaker 2: and I don't know, it's nice to be reminded sometimes 921 00:41:21,687 --> 00:41:23,087 Speaker 2: that you like your family. 922 00:41:24,807 --> 00:41:30,407 Speaker 3: My worst was actually related to last week. I was 923 00:41:30,527 --> 00:41:32,167 Speaker 3: kind of under the weather and I just had a 924 00:41:32,167 --> 00:41:35,487 Speaker 3: lot going on last week and I finished recording for 925 00:41:35,527 --> 00:41:37,687 Speaker 3: Fridays out loud and I just felt like I'd done 926 00:41:37,687 --> 00:41:41,527 Speaker 3: a ship job and I was driving home and it's 927 00:41:41,567 --> 00:41:43,807 Speaker 3: one of the worst feelings in the world where you 928 00:41:43,887 --> 00:41:46,327 Speaker 3: just feel like you tried your best but you couldn't 929 00:41:46,327 --> 00:41:48,007 Speaker 3: give it one hundred percent that day, and you know 930 00:41:48,047 --> 00:41:49,487 Speaker 3: that if you recorded that or if you did that 931 00:41:49,487 --> 00:41:52,487 Speaker 3: piece of work on a different day, you'd have done better. 932 00:41:53,007 --> 00:41:55,607 Speaker 3: And I just felt I hate that feeling. 933 00:41:55,727 --> 00:41:57,887 Speaker 1: You know, this is where we have, of course, and 934 00:41:57,927 --> 00:41:58,567 Speaker 1: it will be mean. 935 00:42:00,967 --> 00:42:03,967 Speaker 3: Nought this week. 936 00:42:04,447 --> 00:42:06,287 Speaker 1: I always carrying. 937 00:42:07,327 --> 00:42:10,087 Speaker 3: It's just I've had with a few things. So the 938 00:42:10,167 --> 00:42:12,007 Speaker 3: few you know, whether it's an event or something, and 939 00:42:12,047 --> 00:42:14,247 Speaker 3: you walk off and you kind of go, oh, oh, my. 940 00:42:14,207 --> 00:42:17,167 Speaker 1: Best I don't have that. I get like God, I 941 00:42:17,247 --> 00:42:21,487 Speaker 1: was good. No, but I do like often after Friday Show, 942 00:42:21,727 --> 00:42:25,687 Speaker 1: I'll be like, God, I'm sick of myself. I'm sick 943 00:42:25,727 --> 00:42:28,807 Speaker 1: of my opinions, I'm sick of my voice, I'm sick 944 00:42:28,847 --> 00:42:31,527 Speaker 1: of my face. I'm just I need to be in 945 00:42:31,567 --> 00:42:35,887 Speaker 1: a dark room, not saying anything, just looking at Copenhagen 946 00:42:35,887 --> 00:42:39,287 Speaker 1: fashion video. So yeah, it's like that kind of yucky. 947 00:42:39,047 --> 00:42:41,727 Speaker 3: Yeah, and then I get stuck kind of ruminating on it. 948 00:42:41,887 --> 00:42:43,727 Speaker 2: You know what though, I'm just going to say, I 949 00:42:43,727 --> 00:42:46,087 Speaker 2: know it's like Pollyanna, but I was listening to people 950 00:42:46,127 --> 00:42:48,847 Speaker 2: talk about the football game that's this weekend, the NRL 951 00:42:48,887 --> 00:42:51,527 Speaker 2: Grand Final, and they're saying that Nathan Cleary, Mary Fowler's 952 00:42:51,567 --> 00:42:54,287 Speaker 2: boyfriend as we all know him, with a broken shoulder 953 00:42:54,367 --> 00:42:57,847 Speaker 2: as he has, it's still going to be better, all right, podcast, Yes, 954 00:42:58,087 --> 00:43:01,847 Speaker 2: like Nathan Cleary with a broken shoulder is better than no, Nathan, clearly, 955 00:43:01,927 --> 00:43:09,007 Speaker 2: Jesse Stevens. Yeah, fifty is still better than ninety, better 956 00:43:09,007 --> 00:43:09,847 Speaker 2: than you, better than me. 957 00:43:10,367 --> 00:43:14,207 Speaker 3: Yeah, very often it's true. My best is it was 958 00:43:14,247 --> 00:43:21,247 Speaker 3: aforementioned Mia turned older this week turned fifty three. I 959 00:43:21,287 --> 00:43:24,087 Speaker 3: had a morning on Tuesday at home and I went, 960 00:43:24,167 --> 00:43:26,807 Speaker 3: I'm gonna make this bitch of cake. Oh you're so nice, 961 00:43:26,967 --> 00:43:29,927 Speaker 3: because I am a tild wife now and this has 962 00:43:29,927 --> 00:43:33,167 Speaker 3: been a really interesting narrative clot point. But I was like, 963 00:43:33,247 --> 00:43:37,047 Speaker 3: I'm gonna make trad lives make cake, and so I 964 00:43:37,127 --> 00:43:38,767 Speaker 3: told me it's daughter. I was like, I'm gonna make 965 00:43:38,767 --> 00:43:40,847 Speaker 3: a cake because I had to make it real. And 966 00:43:40,927 --> 00:43:43,767 Speaker 3: she said this is me as favorite cake because in 967 00:43:43,807 --> 00:43:46,007 Speaker 3: my head I was going to make a really simple cake. 968 00:43:46,047 --> 00:43:47,647 Speaker 3: But then she was like, this is me as favorite cake. 969 00:43:48,407 --> 00:43:50,287 Speaker 3: Oh my goodness. It was the most complicated. 970 00:43:50,687 --> 00:43:53,687 Speaker 1: It's literally called simple I know that's true. It's called 971 00:43:53,727 --> 00:43:56,767 Speaker 1: simple chocolate cake. It's a taste recipe and I literally 972 00:43:56,807 --> 00:43:59,887 Speaker 1: googled simple chocolate cake and it got me this recipe 973 00:43:59,887 --> 00:44:03,047 Speaker 1: and it was so yummy. Yeah when I made it. 974 00:44:03,007 --> 00:44:05,007 Speaker 3: Yes, when you made it, So you have to do 975 00:44:05,047 --> 00:44:07,127 Speaker 3: something on a stove. Anyway, I tried really really hard. 976 00:44:07,167 --> 00:44:09,247 Speaker 3: But what point did I know what had gone wrong? 977 00:44:09,527 --> 00:44:11,287 Speaker 3: I think when I poured it into the cakedin I 978 00:44:11,367 --> 00:44:13,247 Speaker 3: knew it was too thin, and then I went ittle 979 00:44:13,327 --> 00:44:15,327 Speaker 3: rise in the oven, but it didn't. So it kind 980 00:44:15,367 --> 00:44:18,807 Speaker 3: of looked like a brownie but tasted like frisbee. 981 00:44:18,927 --> 00:44:22,367 Speaker 1: But but what strange is where the rest of the 982 00:44:22,447 --> 00:44:25,727 Speaker 1: cake was because I've made that cake with that mixture, 983 00:44:26,327 --> 00:44:28,967 Speaker 1: and it's like, I think the problem is you didn't 984 00:44:29,007 --> 00:44:30,247 Speaker 1: put in self raising flower. 985 00:44:30,287 --> 00:44:31,807 Speaker 3: I think that's what we did. So what I did 986 00:44:31,887 --> 00:44:34,047 Speaker 3: is I'm patty. I made the cake and I brought 987 00:44:34,087 --> 00:44:35,887 Speaker 3: it over. And this is why it's my best is 988 00:44:35,887 --> 00:44:38,207 Speaker 3: because I was thinking on the way over, there are 989 00:44:38,247 --> 00:44:40,647 Speaker 3: so many women with their mother in laws who would 990 00:44:40,647 --> 00:44:43,887 Speaker 3: be terrified, who would have a mother in law who 991 00:44:43,967 --> 00:44:46,487 Speaker 3: would really judge them for whether or not they're cooking 992 00:44:46,487 --> 00:44:48,807 Speaker 3: a good meal, or whether or not their baby is 993 00:44:48,807 --> 00:44:51,927 Speaker 3: wearing dirty clothes, which often is all that kind of stuff. 994 00:44:51,967 --> 00:44:54,767 Speaker 3: And I thought, I am so lucky that this will 995 00:44:54,807 --> 00:44:58,287 Speaker 3: inevitably become a joke, And like I didn't actually feel 996 00:44:58,287 --> 00:45:00,967 Speaker 3: any pressure because I knew that it was the act 997 00:45:00,967 --> 00:45:03,007 Speaker 3: of trying to make a cake that would innately be 998 00:45:03,127 --> 00:45:06,167 Speaker 3: funny and that Maya would appreciate that. So then when 999 00:45:06,167 --> 00:45:08,047 Speaker 3: we cut the cake, we all just sat around trying 1000 00:45:08,087 --> 00:45:10,367 Speaker 3: to guess what made it shit, which it was like, 1001 00:45:10,527 --> 00:45:11,367 Speaker 3: is their eggs? 1002 00:45:11,567 --> 00:45:13,247 Speaker 1: And then she also brought M and M's and she 1003 00:45:13,407 --> 00:45:15,207 Speaker 1: icd it icing was delicious. I ate all of it. 1004 00:45:15,407 --> 00:45:17,487 Speaker 1: I'm going to put a photo of the cake in 1005 00:45:17,527 --> 00:45:19,727 Speaker 1: the out Louders newsletter this week. 1006 00:45:19,767 --> 00:45:21,487 Speaker 3: Maybe people can tell from looking at it what it 1007 00:45:21,567 --> 00:45:22,007 Speaker 3: was missing. 1008 00:45:22,447 --> 00:45:24,447 Speaker 1: And the thing is that it should have been my 1009 00:45:24,487 --> 00:45:27,687 Speaker 1: best actually of the week because no one else made 1010 00:45:27,687 --> 00:45:29,727 Speaker 1: an effort, Like I don't know if it's men in 1011 00:45:29,767 --> 00:45:32,607 Speaker 1: every family, just men in my family. They don't even understand. 1012 00:45:33,127 --> 00:45:36,247 Speaker 1: So Coco the night before put streamers up everywhere and 1013 00:45:36,287 --> 00:45:39,127 Speaker 1: blew up some balloons so that when I downstairs, Coco 1014 00:45:39,247 --> 00:45:41,887 Speaker 1: made an effort and she doesn't live in her house anymore, 1015 00:45:42,167 --> 00:45:45,527 Speaker 1: and Jesse made an effort. Luca did not even write 1016 00:45:45,527 --> 00:45:47,687 Speaker 1: me a card, and cards are my thing, like all 1017 00:45:47,727 --> 00:45:49,967 Speaker 1: I ask for is cards, like I don't expect anything. 1018 00:45:50,327 --> 00:45:52,247 Speaker 1: And the fact that Jesse did that when I know 1019 00:45:52,367 --> 00:45:54,607 Speaker 1: that cooking like that was just such a. 1020 00:45:54,447 --> 00:45:57,807 Speaker 3: Big made you a cake I was. 1021 00:45:58,407 --> 00:46:00,687 Speaker 1: It's the best. It's the best tasting cake of it 1022 00:46:00,687 --> 00:46:02,207 Speaker 1: that I know, but it's the best cake. 1023 00:46:02,167 --> 00:46:08,287 Speaker 3: It ever as a cake. So self phrasing flour is 1024 00:46:08,287 --> 00:46:09,207 Speaker 3: different flour yep. 1025 00:46:10,007 --> 00:46:11,967 Speaker 2: I wonder what it says about you if because Maya 1026 00:46:12,247 --> 00:46:14,327 Speaker 2: always says she can't cook, but she can bake, and 1027 00:46:14,447 --> 00:46:16,447 Speaker 2: I can cook, but I can't bake. So it's like 1028 00:46:16,487 --> 00:46:18,727 Speaker 2: I wonder there are bakers and there are cookers, right 1029 00:46:19,687 --> 00:46:22,207 Speaker 2: If I can make a pasta sauce like nobody's business, 1030 00:46:22,207 --> 00:46:24,367 Speaker 2: but I cannot bake a cake to save myself. 1031 00:46:24,367 --> 00:46:24,847 Speaker 3: The thing that. 1032 00:46:24,807 --> 00:46:27,327 Speaker 1: I reassured Jesse is that even if you make a 1033 00:46:27,367 --> 00:46:30,127 Speaker 1: shit cake, it's still a cake. So people aren't that 1034 00:46:30,247 --> 00:46:31,887 Speaker 1: sad because they can eat the icy. 1035 00:46:31,767 --> 00:46:33,407 Speaker 3: And I don't think it'll make you sick. Like, I 1036 00:46:33,447 --> 00:46:35,007 Speaker 3: don't think there was anything that bad. 1037 00:46:35,207 --> 00:46:39,247 Speaker 1: No, it was fine. My worst of the week was 1038 00:46:39,607 --> 00:46:44,287 Speaker 1: I had to go and get my driver's license renewed, 1039 00:46:44,847 --> 00:46:46,967 Speaker 1: and so I had to get a new photo and 1040 00:46:47,127 --> 00:46:49,167 Speaker 1: I went early because my son had to get his 1041 00:46:49,967 --> 00:46:52,807 Speaker 1: l's And that's been really fun too, driving with him. 1042 00:46:52,807 --> 00:46:54,967 Speaker 1: That's I've forgotten that that is actually quite fun, although 1043 00:46:54,967 --> 00:46:56,407 Speaker 1: that we're at the beginning of our one hundred and 1044 00:46:56,447 --> 00:46:59,167 Speaker 1: twenty hours, so talk to me after one hundred more hours. 1045 00:46:59,487 --> 00:47:01,967 Speaker 1: So he had to go to the RTA whatever it's called, 1046 00:47:02,007 --> 00:47:04,927 Speaker 1: the motoristue place, and I was like, oh, come as well, 1047 00:47:04,967 --> 00:47:07,367 Speaker 1: and I'll get renew my deals. Anyway, we thought we'd 1048 00:47:07,367 --> 00:47:09,247 Speaker 1: miss the crowds. It was Saturday morning. We were like 1049 00:47:09,327 --> 00:47:12,367 Speaker 1: the first ones there, like first minute that it opens. 1050 00:47:12,847 --> 00:47:14,887 Speaker 1: I just got up. I had a cup of tea, 1051 00:47:14,927 --> 00:47:16,527 Speaker 1: but I wasn't gonna be like put makeup and a 1052 00:47:16,607 --> 00:47:19,927 Speaker 1: showers just like in my like trackies and like whatever. 1053 00:47:20,447 --> 00:47:22,247 Speaker 1: You know how when you sometimes look and you just go, 1054 00:47:22,967 --> 00:47:25,167 Speaker 1: I just look natural. I just look like, you know, 1055 00:47:25,647 --> 00:47:26,487 Speaker 1: fresh natural. 1056 00:47:26,767 --> 00:47:28,767 Speaker 3: I look like myself, like I look by myself. 1057 00:47:28,767 --> 00:47:34,447 Speaker 1: So I did my picture whatever license arrived, and I like, 1058 00:47:34,527 --> 00:47:37,447 Speaker 1: I'm not a vain person as people say when they 1059 00:47:37,487 --> 00:47:39,407 Speaker 1: say that I'm on Instagram with no makeup and everything 1060 00:47:39,407 --> 00:47:42,167 Speaker 1: like that, but I was. I recoiled and I was 1061 00:47:42,247 --> 00:47:44,647 Speaker 1: actually I think I need to put this in the 1062 00:47:44,687 --> 00:47:48,167 Speaker 1: bin and get another one. And is that just too vain? 1063 00:47:48,247 --> 00:47:49,767 Speaker 1: Because it is so upsetting. 1064 00:47:49,927 --> 00:47:52,527 Speaker 2: Remember how I'm Vernham said that there's a whole service. 1065 00:47:52,607 --> 00:47:55,247 Speaker 1: Now that now I understand. I always didn't understand it, 1066 00:47:55,327 --> 00:47:57,847 Speaker 1: and now I understand it out louders. We also will 1067 00:47:57,847 --> 00:48:00,967 Speaker 1: put a photo of my driver's license photo in the 1068 00:48:01,327 --> 00:48:04,567 Speaker 1: newsletter show I would like people to showed us. 1069 00:48:04,607 --> 00:48:06,887 Speaker 2: And my first thing that I said to you, because 1070 00:48:06,887 --> 00:48:08,567 Speaker 2: it was true and you need to tear it, is you. 1071 00:48:08,487 --> 00:48:10,687 Speaker 1: Don't look that because you know what that that shock 1072 00:48:10,727 --> 00:48:12,527 Speaker 1: of like this is how I think I look and 1073 00:48:12,567 --> 00:48:15,127 Speaker 1: then there's that and you're like, wait, is that how 1074 00:48:15,167 --> 00:48:16,047 Speaker 1: I actually look? 1075 00:48:16,207 --> 00:48:18,127 Speaker 3: Yes, and we needed to confirm to you the person 1076 00:48:18,127 --> 00:48:20,127 Speaker 3: in that picture isn't you. And then when we did 1077 00:48:20,207 --> 00:48:22,407 Speaker 3: watch the substance and they're a bit where she turns 1078 00:48:22,407 --> 00:48:25,087 Speaker 3: into what I've been described as a Gollum like character. 1079 00:48:25,567 --> 00:48:27,327 Speaker 3: There was a lot of yelling look at me as. 1080 00:48:29,687 --> 00:48:31,607 Speaker 1: I had lots of fun putting that. It was an 1081 00:48:31,647 --> 00:48:34,247 Speaker 1: all agree about my driver's license. For my best of 1082 00:48:34,247 --> 00:48:38,607 Speaker 1: the week is loosely related. My parents are doing the 1083 00:48:38,647 --> 00:48:40,647 Speaker 1: great nomad thing a bit this year. They keep taking 1084 00:48:40,687 --> 00:48:45,287 Speaker 1: trips and they keep getting flat times. I mean, he's 1085 00:48:45,487 --> 00:48:47,847 Speaker 1: just every time I speak to them, they are by 1086 00:48:47,887 --> 00:48:52,847 Speaker 1: the side of a road somewhere in Australia, waiting for help. 1087 00:48:53,967 --> 00:48:57,887 Speaker 1: And so this week it was they were I don't 1088 00:48:57,887 --> 00:48:59,487 Speaker 1: even know where they are, somewhere in the South Coast, 1089 00:48:59,567 --> 00:49:01,967 Speaker 1: somewhere somewhere. Because it was my birthday, they rang me 1090 00:49:02,047 --> 00:49:03,487 Speaker 1: and they're like, guess where we are and I'm like, 1091 00:49:03,527 --> 00:49:05,487 Speaker 1: I don't know. I forget where you've gone. I wasn't 1092 00:49:05,487 --> 00:49:08,287 Speaker 1: paying attention, and they're like, we're by the side of 1093 00:49:08,327 --> 00:49:11,007 Speaker 1: the road waiting. And last time I had Dad had 1094 00:49:11,007 --> 00:49:12,927 Speaker 1: to change a tire and so I spoke to them 1095 00:49:12,927 --> 00:49:15,967 Speaker 1: today and she was like, you know, just keeps us occupied. 1096 00:49:15,967 --> 00:49:18,927 Speaker 1: What would we do if we didn't have these exciting adventures? 1097 00:49:19,287 --> 00:49:21,407 Speaker 3: So, yeah, what do you talk about. They've been married 1098 00:49:21,407 --> 00:49:23,807 Speaker 3: a long time this way and it's all about. 1099 00:49:23,607 --> 00:49:28,047 Speaker 1: The tire team, Gray Nomad caravan. They should. They don't 1100 00:49:28,087 --> 00:49:30,487 Speaker 1: have a caravan. They need something that they can shelter 1101 00:49:30,607 --> 00:49:32,407 Speaker 1: in when they're by the side of the. 1102 00:49:32,327 --> 00:49:34,447 Speaker 2: Red And I get into that phase of life now 1103 00:49:34,447 --> 00:49:36,447 Speaker 2: where when we see caravans, we'll like to think that's 1104 00:49:36,487 --> 00:49:37,247 Speaker 2: the one we'll go on. 1105 00:49:37,487 --> 00:49:39,287 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's the one you need, like a motor home. 1106 00:49:39,327 --> 00:49:41,127 Speaker 1: I think, because you don't want to toe something. It's 1107 00:49:41,127 --> 00:49:41,967 Speaker 1: a long way away. 1108 00:49:42,007 --> 00:49:42,567 Speaker 3: Don't worry. 1109 00:49:42,647 --> 00:49:43,927 Speaker 1: I'm like, it's in my future. 1110 00:49:44,127 --> 00:49:46,567 Speaker 3: There is a world of caravan TikTok waiting for you. 1111 00:49:46,767 --> 00:49:48,207 Speaker 3: I will say that it's a great place. 1112 00:49:48,407 --> 00:49:51,047 Speaker 1: You've got some weird tiktoks. So if you want to 1113 00:49:51,087 --> 00:49:53,767 Speaker 1: see all of those photos, the birthday cake, the driver's license, 1114 00:49:53,807 --> 00:49:55,447 Speaker 1: there's a link in the show notes. If you're not 1115 00:49:55,487 --> 00:49:58,647 Speaker 1: already subscribed to our newsletter, thank you out loud ers 1116 00:49:58,647 --> 00:49:59,847 Speaker 1: for being with us this week. 1117 00:49:59,887 --> 00:50:02,127 Speaker 2: We will see you next week of course, and a 1118 00:50:02,167 --> 00:50:05,567 Speaker 2: big thank you to our team executive producer Ruth Devine, 1119 00:50:05,607 --> 00:50:08,727 Speaker 2: whose cheap tap is throwing people's names in the freezer 1120 00:50:08,807 --> 00:50:10,647 Speaker 2: if they had what I do that? 1121 00:50:10,887 --> 00:50:13,447 Speaker 3: Ha ha, Yeah you freezing? Oh my love does this? 1122 00:50:13,567 --> 00:50:16,127 Speaker 1: Yeah, put them in the freezer. But literally, yeah, you 1123 00:50:16,167 --> 00:50:18,087 Speaker 1: write a piece of paper, yeah, and you put them 1124 00:50:18,127 --> 00:50:19,847 Speaker 1: in the freezer. You like, she's going in the freezer. 1125 00:50:20,007 --> 00:50:23,487 Speaker 3: Oh he in the Mighty grand famously did it to 1126 00:50:23,607 --> 00:50:26,927 Speaker 3: someone and they got very sick. And then she stopped 1127 00:50:26,927 --> 00:50:28,727 Speaker 3: doing it because she got scared that it was actually working. 1128 00:50:28,767 --> 00:50:32,447 Speaker 1: It's meant to sort of take their power away from you. Yeah. 1129 00:50:32,607 --> 00:50:35,247 Speaker 1: I think they can't affect you anyway. Yeah, I like 1130 00:50:35,327 --> 00:50:36,847 Speaker 1: a ship. Nor really scared of you. 1131 00:50:36,927 --> 00:50:39,927 Speaker 3: Oh you're in freezers all over the country. 1132 00:50:40,287 --> 00:50:43,367 Speaker 2: Seeing a producer Evelyn Gazillas, who swears by not sweating 1133 00:50:43,367 --> 00:50:43,967 Speaker 2: the small. 1134 00:50:43,807 --> 00:50:47,287 Speaker 3: So I can tell that's why she's a producing. 1135 00:50:47,167 --> 00:50:50,887 Speaker 2: Way that she could be through life when things don't 1136 00:50:50,887 --> 00:50:53,167 Speaker 2: go away. She tells herself that show is to like 1137 00:50:53,327 --> 00:50:56,687 Speaker 2: the food. Audio produces Leo Porgies, who swears by writing 1138 00:50:56,727 --> 00:50:57,607 Speaker 2: an email first ship. 1139 00:50:57,687 --> 00:50:59,367 Speaker 1: That's very smart. I always do that too. 1140 00:50:59,447 --> 00:51:02,127 Speaker 2: Lee is very clever and our social media producer is 1141 00:51:02,127 --> 00:51:04,567 Speaker 2: Isabelle Dolphin. His cheak code is not my monkey. 1142 00:51:05,407 --> 00:51:07,127 Speaker 1: That's a good one too. 1143 00:51:07,367 --> 00:51:09,047 Speaker 10: Bye bye. 1144 00:51:10,047 --> 00:51:13,207 Speaker 1: Shout out to any Mum and Maya subscribers listening. If 1145 00:51:13,247 --> 00:51:15,807 Speaker 1: you love the show and want to support us as well, 1146 00:51:16,047 --> 00:51:18,447 Speaker 1: subscribing to Mom and Miya is the very best way 1147 00:51:18,487 --> 00:51:20,527 Speaker 1: to do so. There is a link in the episode 1148 00:51:20,567 --> 00:51:21,007 Speaker 1: description