1 00:00:08,234 --> 00:00:14,674 Speaker 1: You're listening to a mom and mea podcast. Well, here 2 00:00:14,714 --> 00:00:17,154 Speaker 1: we are, and we're wearing the same thing again again. 3 00:00:17,274 --> 00:00:19,034 Speaker 1: I don't know how we're doing this. Last week we 4 00:00:19,034 --> 00:00:23,034 Speaker 1: looked like Siamese twins in our matching blue shirts, and 5 00:00:23,074 --> 00:00:26,034 Speaker 1: this week we're all silky in our burgundy. I think 6 00:00:26,074 --> 00:00:27,434 Speaker 1: we're just on trend, you know. 7 00:00:27,674 --> 00:00:30,394 Speaker 2: I think we're h Hello, I'm here as well. 8 00:00:30,594 --> 00:00:34,234 Speaker 1: Yeah, just individual and cool mons. It's fine. 9 00:00:35,074 --> 00:00:38,313 Speaker 2: I miss the memo. Welcome to Parenting Out Loud. This 10 00:00:38,354 --> 00:00:41,193 Speaker 2: is the podcast for people who don't listen to parenting podcasts. 11 00:00:41,233 --> 00:00:44,154 Speaker 2: If you're wearing a silky skirt today, well done you. 12 00:00:46,553 --> 00:00:49,114 Speaker 2: We bring you the news, the culture, We bring you 13 00:00:49,153 --> 00:00:50,714 Speaker 2: what parents are thinking about. 14 00:00:51,034 --> 00:00:54,474 Speaker 1: I'm on Eat Bowley, I'm Amelia Last and I'm Stacy Higgs. 15 00:00:54,794 --> 00:00:57,594 Speaker 2: We are perilously close to Black Friday. I feel it. 16 00:00:57,634 --> 00:00:59,434 Speaker 2: I feel it in my bones. I hate I hate 17 00:00:59,434 --> 00:01:01,514 Speaker 2: saying this because it's just like, oh, buy more stuff, 18 00:01:01,554 --> 00:01:04,953 Speaker 2: but it's everywhere I look. And so Stacey has a 19 00:01:04,954 --> 00:01:07,954 Speaker 2: recommendation at the end of the show that she reckons 20 00:01:08,074 --> 00:01:11,033 Speaker 2: is the purchase of the year. I have a lot 21 00:01:11,034 --> 00:01:13,754 Speaker 2: of questions. But before we get to that, what are 22 00:01:13,794 --> 00:01:14,674 Speaker 2: we talking about today. 23 00:01:14,954 --> 00:01:18,674 Speaker 1: So Kira Knightley made me cry talking about something that 24 00:01:19,194 --> 00:01:21,754 Speaker 1: is such a specific torture of being a parent, and 25 00:01:21,794 --> 00:01:23,074 Speaker 1: I want to tell you all about it. 26 00:01:23,274 --> 00:01:25,994 Speaker 3: Look, school group chats are heating up. We're getting towards 27 00:01:26,034 --> 00:01:28,154 Speaker 3: the end of the year. There's a lot of events happening, 28 00:01:28,154 --> 00:01:31,674 Speaker 3: a lot of communication buzzing back and forth. As the 29 00:01:31,794 --> 00:01:35,834 Speaker 3: class parent for my sorry, yes, I am the class parent. 30 00:01:35,914 --> 00:01:39,234 Speaker 1: What is what type be among us? Is the class parent? 31 00:01:39,354 --> 00:01:42,914 Speaker 3: This is the class This is a common misconception. You 32 00:01:42,994 --> 00:01:46,194 Speaker 3: can be type B and also bossy. That's a common 33 00:01:46,194 --> 00:01:50,394 Speaker 3: misconception about us. Type B's okay on that telling other 34 00:01:50,434 --> 00:01:53,354 Speaker 3: people what to do. I've got some grand rules to 35 00:01:53,434 --> 00:01:57,834 Speaker 3: that age about how to behave decorously and appropriately in 36 00:01:57,874 --> 00:02:00,034 Speaker 3: the group school chat. And I can already tell from 37 00:02:00,074 --> 00:02:01,874 Speaker 3: Mont's face that she hates it. 38 00:02:02,274 --> 00:02:04,354 Speaker 2: You cannot be the CEO of the group chess. 39 00:02:04,554 --> 00:02:05,314 Speaker 1: It is what it is. 40 00:02:05,754 --> 00:02:07,594 Speaker 2: I want to talk about Melbourne Cup. It's the race 41 00:02:07,634 --> 00:02:09,834 Speaker 2: that stops the nation, but this week it's stopped a 42 00:02:09,874 --> 00:02:12,353 Speaker 2: daycare center, and I. 43 00:02:12,234 --> 00:02:15,194 Speaker 1: Just wanted to talk four year old. 44 00:02:16,674 --> 00:02:18,714 Speaker 2: Yeah, four year olds betting on horses. Is it harmless 45 00:02:18,714 --> 00:02:22,754 Speaker 2: fun or is it actually kind of quite problematic. The 46 00:02:22,834 --> 00:02:25,114 Speaker 2: first What have we seen online this week? Stacy? 47 00:02:25,674 --> 00:02:28,314 Speaker 1: So first up this week, My favorite story of the 48 00:02:28,354 --> 00:02:30,234 Speaker 1: week is that Glamor named their Woman of the Year. 49 00:02:30,234 --> 00:02:32,154 Speaker 1: And if I could have voted for this person, I 50 00:02:32,234 --> 00:02:35,913 Speaker 1: would have it is Miss Rachel. This stopped me in. 51 00:02:35,874 --> 00:02:40,034 Speaker 3: My tracks because Miss Rachel is very much beloved, but 52 00:02:40,194 --> 00:02:43,434 Speaker 3: she's been in the news a lot lately because she's 53 00:02:43,514 --> 00:02:46,154 Speaker 3: been speaking up about the plight of children in Gaza. Yeah, 54 00:02:46,194 --> 00:02:48,474 Speaker 3: so she's become a political figure as well. 55 00:02:48,634 --> 00:02:50,634 Speaker 1: She has, like she could have been content with just 56 00:02:50,754 --> 00:02:53,353 Speaker 1: selling merch. Like, if you're not familiar with Miss Rachel, 57 00:02:53,394 --> 00:02:56,754 Speaker 1: she is YouTube sensation. She started recording her videos. I 58 00:02:56,754 --> 00:02:59,274 Speaker 1: didn't realize it was only six years ago that she started. 59 00:02:59,634 --> 00:03:02,714 Speaker 1: She just set up a tripod at home, started recording 60 00:03:02,874 --> 00:03:06,074 Speaker 1: herself because her son was experiencing a speech delay, so 61 00:03:06,114 --> 00:03:09,114 Speaker 1: she was doing videos help with his education. And then 62 00:03:09,474 --> 00:03:12,353 Speaker 1: from there she just exploded and now it's on Netflix. 63 00:03:12,714 --> 00:03:15,154 Speaker 1: But as you say, she's gone so far beyond that, 64 00:03:15,234 --> 00:03:18,114 Speaker 1: Like she uses her platform now to help speak for 65 00:03:18,234 --> 00:03:21,754 Speaker 1: children around the world. And at the award ceremony, she 66 00:03:21,794 --> 00:03:24,794 Speaker 1: wore this beautiful gown that was embroidered with drawings from 67 00:03:24,874 --> 00:03:28,274 Speaker 1: Palestinian children that she'd asked to kind of share their tales. 68 00:03:28,754 --> 00:03:31,794 Speaker 1: There's footage of her. It's so beautiful. She names every 69 00:03:31,914 --> 00:03:34,994 Speaker 1: child by name, talks about the drawings on her dress. 70 00:03:35,074 --> 00:03:37,554 Speaker 1: I just love her so much. She's such a legend. 71 00:03:37,674 --> 00:03:39,954 Speaker 2: I saw something this week that sucks and I hate it. 72 00:03:41,194 --> 00:03:42,714 Speaker 2: Remember passing notes in class? 73 00:03:42,954 --> 00:03:45,394 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's probably the first and only time I like 74 00:03:45,434 --> 00:03:46,114 Speaker 1: broke the rule. 75 00:03:46,274 --> 00:03:48,794 Speaker 2: Yeah, like, do you like Stacy? Yes or no? 76 00:03:50,594 --> 00:03:51,754 Speaker 1: Obviously the ads it would be. 77 00:03:52,034 --> 00:03:55,434 Speaker 2: Yeah, Well, jen Z have hacked it and they've ruined 78 00:03:55,474 --> 00:04:00,394 Speaker 2: it because of widespread school phonemn's. The kids have gotten crafting. 79 00:04:00,954 --> 00:04:05,394 Speaker 2: The kids have found a workaround. They are now communicating 80 00:04:05,474 --> 00:04:09,074 Speaker 2: on Google docs. So they open a shared dock and 81 00:04:09,114 --> 00:04:11,914 Speaker 2: they type in white font so the teacher can't see it. 82 00:04:12,314 --> 00:04:16,433 Speaker 2: So it's insults, it's gossip, it's whatever. So it's clever. 83 00:04:17,154 --> 00:04:20,314 Speaker 2: But I hate this because, like back in our day, 84 00:04:20,433 --> 00:04:23,914 Speaker 2: sending a note was very slow and deliberate, so the 85 00:04:23,953 --> 00:04:26,313 Speaker 2: stakes were higher, right, because it was a physical thing, 86 00:04:26,393 --> 00:04:29,194 Speaker 2: like you had to write it, you had to pass it, 87 00:04:29,513 --> 00:04:31,234 Speaker 2: you had to wait for the moment that they'd see it, 88 00:04:31,313 --> 00:04:33,113 Speaker 2: you had to sort of own it. And then there 89 00:04:33,193 --> 00:04:36,753 Speaker 2: was evidence, like someone could keep it. This Google Docs 90 00:04:36,834 --> 00:04:39,993 Speaker 2: is just horseshit. It's fast, like there's no thought, there's 91 00:04:39,993 --> 00:04:43,633 Speaker 2: no paper trail, there's no pausing. I think it's gutlass. 92 00:04:43,633 --> 00:04:45,953 Speaker 2: And also you can't draw a dick on Google Docs. 93 00:04:47,873 --> 00:04:48,553 Speaker 3: So true. 94 00:04:48,674 --> 00:04:51,194 Speaker 1: This is like their version of invisible ink. Did you 95 00:04:51,234 --> 00:04:53,073 Speaker 1: ever have that when you're like seven or eight and 96 00:04:53,113 --> 00:04:55,713 Speaker 1: you thought it was so cool? Except your right One's 97 00:04:56,034 --> 00:04:58,953 Speaker 1: the beauty of passing notes is the risk. It's the 98 00:04:59,113 --> 00:05:00,753 Speaker 1: thrill that you might get caught. 99 00:05:01,034 --> 00:05:03,394 Speaker 3: You've got it in your hand, you can't make it evaporate, 100 00:05:03,594 --> 00:05:05,553 Speaker 3: but on Google Docs you can, and I hate that 101 00:05:05,674 --> 00:05:08,713 Speaker 3: for them. There's something really wrong about breaking the rules 102 00:05:08,753 --> 00:05:11,113 Speaker 3: when you have to invite someone to collaborate. 103 00:05:11,553 --> 00:05:14,953 Speaker 1: Yes, so true. 104 00:05:15,714 --> 00:05:18,113 Speaker 3: Okay, what I have brought to the table this week 105 00:05:18,633 --> 00:05:22,234 Speaker 3: is a useful piece of information. So we talk all 106 00:05:22,274 --> 00:05:25,354 Speaker 3: the time about how raising children is very expensive, but 107 00:05:25,474 --> 00:05:27,754 Speaker 3: exactly how expensive is it? And I was shocked to 108 00:05:27,794 --> 00:05:30,034 Speaker 3: learn that the last sort of official stats on this 109 00:05:30,354 --> 00:05:32,833 Speaker 3: come from seven years ago. Now a lot has happened 110 00:05:32,834 --> 00:05:35,593 Speaker 3: in that time, including cozilives. Yeah, we didn't even have 111 00:05:35,674 --> 00:05:38,993 Speaker 3: Cozi lives seven years ago. We just had lives. And 112 00:05:39,113 --> 00:05:41,993 Speaker 3: now they've done the numbers. The smart people have done 113 00:05:41,993 --> 00:05:48,273 Speaker 3: the numbers. Can I get a drum roll? Please? The 114 00:05:48,354 --> 00:05:50,753 Speaker 3: answer to how much it costs to raise a child 115 00:05:50,873 --> 00:05:54,273 Speaker 3: in Australia in twenty twenty five is three hundred thousand 116 00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:57,873 Speaker 3: dollars over eighteen years, assuming that is that you make 117 00:05:57,953 --> 00:06:00,234 Speaker 3: around the average after tax income of one hundred and 118 00:06:00,234 --> 00:06:02,873 Speaker 3: thirty thousand dollars. Reactions does this seem about right? 119 00:06:03,154 --> 00:06:04,153 Speaker 2: That feels cheap to me? 120 00:06:04,794 --> 00:06:08,394 Speaker 1: What? Yeh, that feels cheap. That's a lot of money. 121 00:06:08,674 --> 00:06:11,353 Speaker 3: Well, I will say that there are economies of scale 122 00:06:11,393 --> 00:06:13,993 Speaker 3: here because it's about seventeen thousand dollars a year for 123 00:06:14,034 --> 00:06:16,474 Speaker 3: the first child, and then if you have subsequent children, 124 00:06:16,553 --> 00:06:18,873 Speaker 3: each of them is about thirteen thousand dollars a year. 125 00:06:18,953 --> 00:06:21,193 Speaker 3: So the message I take from this is it is 126 00:06:21,274 --> 00:06:22,953 Speaker 3: economical to have more children. 127 00:06:23,393 --> 00:06:25,313 Speaker 1: The message I take from this is that that is 128 00:06:25,393 --> 00:06:28,034 Speaker 1: so classic of a second and third child that they 129 00:06:28,113 --> 00:06:32,193 Speaker 1: just cost you less. You just careless. It's not often 130 00:06:32,234 --> 00:06:34,633 Speaker 1: that I find that I have something in common with celebrities. 131 00:06:34,674 --> 00:06:37,794 Speaker 2: Believe it or not, that's not true, Stacy, Stacy, you 132 00:06:37,914 --> 00:06:38,993 Speaker 2: have Kate Middleton hair. 133 00:06:39,274 --> 00:06:43,754 Speaker 1: Actually true, true, I do have shiny hair. Okay, I'll 134 00:06:43,753 --> 00:06:45,393 Speaker 1: give you that, but that is all we have in 135 00:06:45,433 --> 00:06:49,873 Speaker 1: common until now, when actress Kia Knightley spoke on a 136 00:06:49,914 --> 00:06:52,914 Speaker 1: podcast and I had such a visceral reaction to what 137 00:06:52,953 --> 00:06:55,914 Speaker 1: she said because I've actually never felt something so deeply. 138 00:06:56,034 --> 00:06:59,113 Speaker 1: This is her speaking on the Happy Mum, Happy Baby podcast. 139 00:06:59,474 --> 00:07:02,193 Speaker 1: I just remember reading articles at the time of being like, 140 00:07:02,234 --> 00:07:03,314 Speaker 1: how important sleepers? 141 00:07:03,873 --> 00:07:05,714 Speaker 2: You must get your eight hours? 142 00:07:06,594 --> 00:07:10,713 Speaker 1: Fuck? I would like to I am. 143 00:07:10,674 --> 00:07:19,434 Speaker 4: Trying talk to her, But that's another pressure, isn't it, 144 00:07:19,634 --> 00:07:21,273 Speaker 4: All those things we're told that we should be. 145 00:07:22,393 --> 00:07:24,274 Speaker 1: My man, I feel this into my day. How am 146 00:07:24,274 --> 00:07:25,954 Speaker 1: I man to sleep? When I got told who doesn't? 147 00:07:25,953 --> 00:07:26,713 Speaker 1: Who doesn't sleep? 148 00:07:26,834 --> 00:07:28,434 Speaker 2: And doesn't seem to find it a problem that she 149 00:07:28,474 --> 00:07:32,393 Speaker 2: doesn't sleep but doesn't sleep. It's such a particular form 150 00:07:32,434 --> 00:07:34,314 Speaker 2: of crazy torture. 151 00:07:34,953 --> 00:07:38,874 Speaker 3: There's something so pervy about hearing someone who's normally sort 152 00:07:38,874 --> 00:07:42,874 Speaker 3: of reciting Shakespeare or Jane Austen in those dulcet tones 153 00:07:43,434 --> 00:07:45,874 Speaker 3: telling us that her child just doesn't sleep. 154 00:07:45,953 --> 00:07:46,153 Speaker 1: Yeah. 155 00:07:46,154 --> 00:07:47,714 Speaker 3: I love that so much. Yeah. 156 00:07:47,794 --> 00:07:50,833 Speaker 1: I think she perfectly captured what I found the hardest 157 00:07:50,834 --> 00:07:52,994 Speaker 1: about motherhood. I'm sure a lot of people found the 158 00:07:52,994 --> 00:07:56,874 Speaker 1: hardest as well. Is just that torturous tiredness you feel 159 00:07:56,914 --> 00:07:59,114 Speaker 1: in your bones, like where you're like, I did not 160 00:07:59,314 --> 00:08:01,393 Speaker 1: know that I could feel like this, and you start 161 00:08:01,434 --> 00:08:04,713 Speaker 1: to feel crazy. And the second thing I loved she 162 00:08:04,794 --> 00:08:06,914 Speaker 1: went on in that clip to talk about they come 163 00:08:06,914 --> 00:08:08,994 Speaker 1: out the way they come out. She's like, you either 164 00:08:09,034 --> 00:08:11,354 Speaker 1: get a sleeper or you don't get a sleeper, and 165 00:08:11,393 --> 00:08:14,914 Speaker 1: she talks about the comparison between her two children, and 166 00:08:14,953 --> 00:08:17,394 Speaker 1: I think that's something that we're never told, Like we're 167 00:08:17,393 --> 00:08:20,314 Speaker 1: told if you just give them a good sleep environment, 168 00:08:20,434 --> 00:08:22,794 Speaker 1: then you know, you'll solve all the problems. And that 169 00:08:22,914 --> 00:08:24,794 Speaker 1: is not true. Like my parents used to put me 170 00:08:24,874 --> 00:08:26,954 Speaker 1: to sleep under a table in a restaurant and I 171 00:08:27,074 --> 00:08:31,474 Speaker 1: was just fine, isn't true. Yes, apparently that sounds apocryphy 172 00:08:32,394 --> 00:08:34,594 Speaker 1: or they just, you know, wanted to socialize and I 173 00:08:34,714 --> 00:08:36,114 Speaker 1: was not going to get in the way of that. 174 00:08:36,434 --> 00:08:38,354 Speaker 1: And I love that for them, but that would have 175 00:08:38,394 --> 00:08:40,714 Speaker 1: not been the case for me. I could not have 176 00:08:40,834 --> 00:08:43,914 Speaker 1: done that. And I loved that she said that because 177 00:08:43,954 --> 00:08:46,994 Speaker 1: it felt like, of course, there's certain things you can 178 00:08:47,034 --> 00:08:50,754 Speaker 1: do that may move the dial slightly, but ultimately it 179 00:08:50,834 --> 00:08:53,194 Speaker 1: comes down to the temperament and it's just a bit 180 00:08:53,194 --> 00:08:56,554 Speaker 1: of a shit time sometimes. But why I really wanted 181 00:08:56,594 --> 00:08:58,794 Speaker 1: to bring this to the table is that she talks 182 00:08:58,834 --> 00:09:01,714 Speaker 1: about the effect that broken sleep or lack of sleep 183 00:09:01,994 --> 00:09:04,874 Speaker 1: can have on you as a person for years, and 184 00:09:04,954 --> 00:09:07,634 Speaker 1: I feel like that's never really spoken about beyond the 185 00:09:07,634 --> 00:09:09,953 Speaker 1: first three months. People start talking about, Oh, your baby 186 00:09:09,994 --> 00:09:12,554 Speaker 1: sleeps more from four months and then it's kind of forgotten. 187 00:09:12,594 --> 00:09:16,474 Speaker 1: But it's not like brain fog. It's like literal exhaustion, 188 00:09:16,674 --> 00:09:20,114 Speaker 1: and experts basically equate even one night of broken sleep 189 00:09:20,234 --> 00:09:23,354 Speaker 1: to be equivalent to being drunk. So if that is 190 00:09:23,394 --> 00:09:25,514 Speaker 1: the case, I am sitting here doing this podcast with 191 00:09:25,594 --> 00:09:29,394 Speaker 1: you absolutely plastered and probably have been the entire time. 192 00:09:29,634 --> 00:09:32,194 Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm so drunk as well. We are all plasted here. 193 00:09:32,554 --> 00:09:35,194 Speaker 2: I am so tired that a few months ago I 194 00:09:35,234 --> 00:09:37,834 Speaker 2: went to the doctor and was like, what's wrong with me? 195 00:09:37,954 --> 00:09:41,354 Speaker 2: What's going on? I am so bone tired? And this 196 00:09:41,394 --> 00:09:43,754 Speaker 2: is seven years down the track from having a baby. 197 00:09:43,994 --> 00:09:44,314 Speaker 1: Yeah. 198 00:09:44,354 --> 00:09:46,674 Speaker 2: What I liked about this Kier Nightly thing was you 199 00:09:46,674 --> 00:09:49,154 Speaker 2: can hear like this shakiness in her voice. That sort 200 00:09:49,194 --> 00:09:52,714 Speaker 2: of desperation took me straight back there. I think what's 201 00:09:52,754 --> 00:09:56,074 Speaker 2: interesting is like society doesn't give a shit, like when 202 00:09:56,154 --> 00:09:59,274 Speaker 2: you're in it it is so hard and tortuous, but 203 00:09:59,554 --> 00:10:02,514 Speaker 2: to the outside world there's this kind of like feeling of, well, 204 00:10:02,554 --> 00:10:04,914 Speaker 2: you chose this, so you kind of got to deal 205 00:10:04,954 --> 00:10:07,114 Speaker 2: with it. We talk a little bit on this podcast 206 00:10:07,194 --> 00:10:11,194 Speaker 2: about how parenting and motherhood is quite individualistic. Now there's 207 00:10:11,234 --> 00:10:15,274 Speaker 2: no village. Everything's kind of on us. And sleep plays 208 00:10:15,274 --> 00:10:17,713 Speaker 2: into this in the way that if you have a 209 00:10:17,754 --> 00:10:21,154 Speaker 2: shit sleeper, the undercurrent is, well, it's your sort of 210 00:10:21,194 --> 00:10:24,554 Speaker 2: problem to solve. It's on you, it's your fault. You 211 00:10:24,674 --> 00:10:28,474 Speaker 2: chose this, and the internalized feeling is, well, I've got 212 00:10:28,474 --> 00:10:32,634 Speaker 2: to sort this out. Enter the baby sleep industrial complex. 213 00:10:33,114 --> 00:10:37,354 Speaker 2: I feel so strongly about this. There is this moment 214 00:10:37,434 --> 00:10:39,994 Speaker 2: when you're in new motherhood where you are so tired 215 00:10:40,114 --> 00:10:41,994 Speaker 2: and no one prepares you for it, and you become 216 00:10:42,074 --> 00:10:45,514 Speaker 2: so desperate that you will buy an eight hundred dollars 217 00:10:45,514 --> 00:10:49,514 Speaker 2: e course just to get like, I would have paid 218 00:10:49,754 --> 00:10:52,314 Speaker 2: any money to have had a full eight hours. 219 00:10:52,634 --> 00:10:54,874 Speaker 1: Yeah, one hundred percent. And I think you get to 220 00:10:54,914 --> 00:10:57,394 Speaker 1: that point where, like, as we say, it's equivalent to 221 00:10:57,434 --> 00:11:00,154 Speaker 1: being drunk, you just feel like you can't see the 222 00:11:00,194 --> 00:11:02,074 Speaker 1: wood from the trees, like you don't know what to do, 223 00:11:02,474 --> 00:11:03,994 Speaker 1: and so you're like, Okay, well, I just need to 224 00:11:04,034 --> 00:11:06,074 Speaker 1: pay someone to take the emotion out of it and 225 00:11:06,114 --> 00:11:08,554 Speaker 1: tell me the step I need to take exactly to 226 00:11:08,594 --> 00:11:09,473 Speaker 1: fix it. 227 00:11:09,474 --> 00:11:12,554 Speaker 3: It's interesting because when you raise this with us, Stacy, 228 00:11:13,034 --> 00:11:16,434 Speaker 3: at first, I didn't fully want to talk about it, 229 00:11:16,754 --> 00:11:19,354 Speaker 3: like I had a resistance to it. And I realized 230 00:11:19,394 --> 00:11:23,714 Speaker 3: it was because I have repressed the memories of those 231 00:11:23,834 --> 00:11:27,354 Speaker 3: years that I spent walking around drunk. Yeah, and not 232 00:11:27,474 --> 00:11:30,314 Speaker 3: a Margarita's like. I have repressed them just the same 233 00:11:30,354 --> 00:11:33,594 Speaker 3: way that anecdotally people repress the pain of childbirth. It 234 00:11:33,674 --> 00:11:37,074 Speaker 3: was because it was so difficult and I had to 235 00:11:37,114 --> 00:11:40,034 Speaker 3: sort of consciously try and retrieve those memories of that time, 236 00:11:40,114 --> 00:11:42,794 Speaker 3: and then it all came floating back, you know, like 237 00:11:42,834 --> 00:11:45,754 Speaker 3: the one hundred dollar PDFs that I was buying, which 238 00:11:45,794 --> 00:11:49,594 Speaker 3: were never very helpful. I followed this particular parenting guru 239 00:11:49,714 --> 00:11:53,074 Speaker 3: called taking care of Babies. I was sort of halfway 240 00:11:53,114 --> 00:11:55,514 Speaker 3: through sleep training my second child based on one of 241 00:11:55,514 --> 00:11:57,954 Speaker 3: her overpriced PDFs, and it turned out that she was 242 00:11:57,994 --> 00:12:01,474 Speaker 3: actually this big Maga person, which sent me through the 243 00:12:01,594 --> 00:12:04,394 Speaker 3: spiral of whether I should be taking sleep tips from 244 00:12:04,394 --> 00:12:08,234 Speaker 3: a Maga acolyte. But in terms of how we should 245 00:12:08,274 --> 00:12:11,074 Speaker 3: be thinking about it as a society. One thing really 246 00:12:11,154 --> 00:12:13,994 Speaker 3: clicked for me in researching this, which is that some 247 00:12:14,074 --> 00:12:16,514 Speaker 3: experts are starting to say we need to be treating 248 00:12:16,834 --> 00:12:20,754 Speaker 3: parental sleep deprivation as a public health issue. And that's 249 00:12:20,754 --> 00:12:26,154 Speaker 3: because it has concrete, tangible implications. It increases the risk 250 00:12:26,234 --> 00:12:29,474 Speaker 3: of anxiety, increases the risk of depression. It has very 251 00:12:29,474 --> 00:12:32,554 Speaker 3: real knock on effects for women's ability to progress in 252 00:12:32,594 --> 00:12:35,634 Speaker 3: the workforce if they choose to take on paid employment 253 00:12:35,674 --> 00:12:37,074 Speaker 3: after they have children, even like. 254 00:12:37,034 --> 00:12:39,874 Speaker 1: Immune function, like everything is effected by it. 255 00:12:40,034 --> 00:12:43,074 Speaker 3: Yeah, and that's because those effects last well beyond the 256 00:12:43,114 --> 00:12:46,874 Speaker 3: newborn stage. So I did come across this is, first 257 00:12:46,874 --> 00:12:48,874 Speaker 3: of all, a delightful fact in itself. There is a 258 00:12:48,994 --> 00:12:52,794 Speaker 3: journal called Sleep. I love that it's just called sleep, 259 00:12:53,114 --> 00:12:55,794 Speaker 3: And there was a German study in the journal called 260 00:12:55,834 --> 00:12:59,074 Speaker 3: Sleep which found that women lose on average one hour 261 00:12:59,154 --> 00:13:01,953 Speaker 3: of sleep when their baby is zero to three months old. 262 00:13:02,634 --> 00:13:04,314 Speaker 3: Men lose on average. 263 00:13:04,274 --> 00:13:08,274 Speaker 1: Thirteen minutes sleep when their baby is to three months old, 264 00:13:08,314 --> 00:13:10,593 Speaker 1: and then the women keep losing. 265 00:13:10,234 --> 00:13:13,914 Speaker 3: Sleep until the child is four or five. Every year, 266 00:13:14,434 --> 00:13:17,034 Speaker 3: every night they're losing up to an hour of sleep 267 00:13:17,114 --> 00:13:19,154 Speaker 3: until the age of four or five. So we are 268 00:13:19,154 --> 00:13:23,754 Speaker 3: talking a long term problem that is disproportionately affecting women. 269 00:13:24,314 --> 00:13:26,834 Speaker 2: Do you think it's gendered in the way that if 270 00:13:27,114 --> 00:13:30,234 Speaker 2: this was happening to men in their prime working years, 271 00:13:30,634 --> 00:13:32,194 Speaker 2: that there'd be a royal commission into it. 272 00:13:32,474 --> 00:13:35,554 Speaker 1: Yeah, probably, like I think there would be. And as 273 00:13:35,594 --> 00:13:37,954 Speaker 1: you say that those figures speak for themselves that men 274 00:13:38,074 --> 00:13:41,074 Speaker 1: aren't affected as much as women are by the lack 275 00:13:41,114 --> 00:13:43,514 Speaker 1: of sleep, and I think there really is a lack 276 00:13:43,554 --> 00:13:45,794 Speaker 1: of sympathy or understanding to your point. 277 00:13:45,834 --> 00:13:48,714 Speaker 3: One's about this idea of well you chose to have children. 278 00:13:49,234 --> 00:13:52,994 Speaker 3: I'm thinking in particular of this very high profile case 279 00:13:53,194 --> 00:13:56,634 Speaker 3: in Boston in the US last year where a woman 280 00:13:56,834 --> 00:13:59,234 Speaker 3: was on trial. It was a very tragic case. She 281 00:13:59,594 --> 00:14:02,874 Speaker 3: had killed some of her children while she was experiencing 282 00:14:02,914 --> 00:14:06,594 Speaker 3: postpartum psychosis, and clinical psychologists were called to the trial 283 00:14:06,674 --> 00:14:09,074 Speaker 3: to talk of the fact that when you experience sleep 284 00:14:09,114 --> 00:14:12,034 Speaker 3: deprivation on the level that she was experiencing it, that 285 00:14:12,194 --> 00:14:16,714 Speaker 3: can trigger or lead to postpartum psychosis, thereby proving this 286 00:14:16,834 --> 00:14:19,234 Speaker 3: is very much a public health issue. It is not 287 00:14:19,314 --> 00:14:19,954 Speaker 3: just about. 288 00:14:19,794 --> 00:14:22,074 Speaker 1: Women complaining that they have to put a more concealer 289 00:14:22,114 --> 00:14:22,594 Speaker 1: in the morning. 290 00:14:22,834 --> 00:14:24,834 Speaker 2: Yeah, I agree with you, Amelia but that is the 291 00:14:24,874 --> 00:14:27,594 Speaker 2: cultural shrug. The cultural shrug is, well, you chose it, 292 00:14:27,714 --> 00:14:28,514 Speaker 2: you deal with it. 293 00:14:28,874 --> 00:14:31,234 Speaker 1: So what's the answer for us here, Like we just 294 00:14:31,274 --> 00:14:33,274 Speaker 1: have to go on feeling exhausted forever. 295 00:14:33,434 --> 00:14:35,634 Speaker 3: I think that the first thing to realize about it 296 00:14:35,674 --> 00:14:38,154 Speaker 3: is that there's no point diminishing it if you're going 297 00:14:38,194 --> 00:14:41,114 Speaker 3: through it. It came across a quote from a psychologist 298 00:14:41,114 --> 00:14:44,754 Speaker 3: called doctor Nihara Kraus, and she says that what makes 299 00:14:44,954 --> 00:14:49,354 Speaker 3: this sleep deprivation a particular form of torture for women 300 00:14:49,874 --> 00:14:51,954 Speaker 3: is that we don't know when it's going to end. 301 00:14:52,194 --> 00:14:54,394 Speaker 3: She points out that as a society as a whole, 302 00:14:54,474 --> 00:14:56,274 Speaker 3: we went through that during the pandemic. We didn't know 303 00:14:56,274 --> 00:14:58,194 Speaker 3: when the pandemic was going to end, and look at 304 00:14:58,234 --> 00:15:01,834 Speaker 3: how it unhinged our entire society collectively. But for women 305 00:15:01,874 --> 00:15:05,194 Speaker 3: going through sleep deprivation, they keep thinking it might get better. 306 00:15:05,274 --> 00:15:08,314 Speaker 3: Every night becomes a source of dread. Is tonight going 307 00:15:08,354 --> 00:15:10,274 Speaker 3: to be the night that we turn the page? And 308 00:15:10,314 --> 00:15:13,394 Speaker 3: it's that feeling of the unknown and not knowing when 309 00:15:13,434 --> 00:15:16,754 Speaker 3: it will improve that makes it so distinctly hard. So 310 00:15:16,794 --> 00:15:19,154 Speaker 3: I guess that's the first step to recognize that what 311 00:15:19,194 --> 00:15:23,434 Speaker 3: you're going through is psychologically designed to torture you exactly. 312 00:15:23,554 --> 00:15:25,714 Speaker 1: So I love that Kira has done this. I love 313 00:15:25,754 --> 00:15:27,594 Speaker 1: that she has just put words around that and just 314 00:15:27,634 --> 00:15:29,994 Speaker 1: been like, it is torture, it is hard. 315 00:15:30,154 --> 00:15:30,794 Speaker 3: Thank you, Kira. 316 00:15:31,434 --> 00:15:34,154 Speaker 2: Melbourne Cup was earlier this week and I came across 317 00:15:34,194 --> 00:15:37,194 Speaker 2: something really interesting on Reddit that I want to bring 318 00:15:37,234 --> 00:15:40,994 Speaker 2: to the table. It was a parent who picked up 319 00:15:41,034 --> 00:15:44,634 Speaker 2: their kid from daycare and the kid said, ah, today 320 00:15:44,674 --> 00:15:47,394 Speaker 2: we got to pick a horse and watch the horse race. 321 00:15:48,274 --> 00:15:50,794 Speaker 2: This was in New South Wales, not even Victoria, where 322 00:15:50,834 --> 00:15:53,514 Speaker 2: the race is held, and the educators at this particular 323 00:15:53,594 --> 00:15:57,034 Speaker 2: daycare got the kids to pick horses, showed the race 324 00:15:57,074 --> 00:16:00,834 Speaker 2: on TV, and then awarded them prizes. Now, this person 325 00:16:00,874 --> 00:16:05,194 Speaker 2: that posted this is an ex problem gambler, and they said, Hey, 326 00:16:05,234 --> 00:16:07,754 Speaker 2: I'm not sure how to feel about this. Maybe I'm 327 00:16:07,754 --> 00:16:11,114 Speaker 2: being oversensitive because of my own problems, but I'm not 328 00:16:11,394 --> 00:16:15,834 Speaker 2: sure it's entirely appropriate to introduce kids so young to 329 00:16:15,914 --> 00:16:21,314 Speaker 2: the gambling industry. And I went, I think you're right, 330 00:16:22,274 --> 00:16:22,634 Speaker 2: did you? 331 00:16:23,034 --> 00:16:27,954 Speaker 3: Because I'm not sure. I understand that the gambling industry 332 00:16:28,154 --> 00:16:30,914 Speaker 3: is a huge problem in this country nationally, and I 333 00:16:30,954 --> 00:16:35,194 Speaker 3: also understand that animal welfare advocates have particular problems with 334 00:16:35,274 --> 00:16:38,514 Speaker 3: horse racing that are valid and which I co sign. 335 00:16:39,034 --> 00:16:41,154 Speaker 3: The thing that makes me hesitate is that we have 336 00:16:41,314 --> 00:16:45,634 Speaker 3: so few events now to collectively come together to mark 337 00:16:45,834 --> 00:16:50,474 Speaker 3: as a nation. And I think it's fun and also 338 00:16:50,714 --> 00:16:53,274 Speaker 3: character building for kids to feel part of like a 339 00:16:53,354 --> 00:16:56,634 Speaker 3: bigger thing that's happening outside their daycare. 340 00:16:56,994 --> 00:16:59,674 Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I can see how, like you know, 341 00:16:59,754 --> 00:17:03,234 Speaker 1: it's helping them, probably with numbers and colors and winning 342 00:17:03,314 --> 00:17:05,954 Speaker 1: and losing, but sodas like playing a game of twister, 343 00:17:06,154 --> 00:17:08,474 Speaker 1: Like I don't know, Melbourne Cup needs to be the 344 00:17:08,513 --> 00:17:11,033 Speaker 1: thing that we introduced to them when they're four years old. 345 00:17:11,154 --> 00:17:14,154 Speaker 1: That's crazy. So was their response that they didn't want 346 00:17:14,154 --> 00:17:14,714 Speaker 1: this to happen. 347 00:17:14,914 --> 00:17:17,553 Speaker 2: Obviously, they said how should I feel about this? A 348 00:17:17,554 --> 00:17:20,354 Speaker 2: lot of the comments were we did this in primary school. 349 00:17:20,394 --> 00:17:24,074 Speaker 2: I remember doing this. It was completely normal and uncontroversial 350 00:17:24,154 --> 00:17:26,714 Speaker 2: to teach six year olds how to pick a box 351 00:17:26,754 --> 00:17:32,354 Speaker 2: trifecta and it's fucked like this is symbolic of how 352 00:17:32,434 --> 00:17:36,714 Speaker 2: deeply embedded gambling is in our culture. And large amount 353 00:17:36,714 --> 00:17:40,314 Speaker 2: of comments were around the animal welfare stuff that you mentioned, Amelia, 354 00:17:40,474 --> 00:17:43,474 Speaker 2: like how you know this happened in our Queensland primary school, 355 00:17:43,474 --> 00:17:45,273 Speaker 2: and my daughter came home bawling because one of the 356 00:17:45,274 --> 00:17:47,794 Speaker 2: horses had been severely injured in the race. Like the 357 00:17:47,874 --> 00:17:49,994 Speaker 2: kids had to sweep in it too, Like I lost 358 00:17:49,994 --> 00:17:53,314 Speaker 2: it at the school. Promoting gambling and watching animals being 359 00:17:53,354 --> 00:17:55,513 Speaker 2: injured isn't a school activity. 360 00:17:55,674 --> 00:17:58,594 Speaker 3: The thing about gambling that's interesting is that when I 361 00:17:58,754 --> 00:18:01,914 Speaker 3: moved back here last year from the States, every country 362 00:18:01,994 --> 00:18:05,594 Speaker 3: has its own endemic problems, and obviously in the US, 363 00:18:05,754 --> 00:18:08,234 Speaker 3: guns is probably top of that list. And I'm not 364 00:18:08,314 --> 00:18:11,114 Speaker 3: equating guns in gambling, but I will say I think 365 00:18:11,154 --> 00:18:13,754 Speaker 3: gambling is one of those things that's so deeply embedded 366 00:18:13,754 --> 00:18:17,314 Speaker 3: in Australian society that sometimes it's even difficult to see. 367 00:18:17,714 --> 00:18:21,354 Speaker 3: And the example I would give is my children were 368 00:18:21,394 --> 00:18:24,754 Speaker 3: never exposed to raffles before we moved here, and now 369 00:18:24,914 --> 00:18:28,794 Speaker 3: everything is a raffle. And this hit me the other 370 00:18:28,874 --> 00:18:31,474 Speaker 3: day when my kid asked if we could buy more 371 00:18:31,514 --> 00:18:34,834 Speaker 3: tickets to a raffle because he wanted more chances to 372 00:18:34,874 --> 00:18:37,994 Speaker 3: win the prize. I realized in the moment that that 373 00:18:38,154 --> 00:18:42,033 Speaker 3: was actually gambling. And I hadn't even thought about that 374 00:18:42,074 --> 00:18:45,074 Speaker 3: growing up, because it was just deeply embedded. But the 375 00:18:45,154 --> 00:18:48,634 Speaker 3: raffle is the go to fundraising event at school and 376 00:18:48,794 --> 00:18:50,154 Speaker 3: we're getting them early with it. 377 00:18:50,354 --> 00:18:53,834 Speaker 2: That's so interesting. Similarly, there's a lot of lottery talk 378 00:18:53,874 --> 00:18:55,474 Speaker 2: in my house, like when are we going to win 379 00:18:55,514 --> 00:18:57,314 Speaker 2: the lottery? Can we buy a ticket to the lottery? 380 00:18:57,434 --> 00:19:00,634 Speaker 2: And it's that wow, where does this even come from? 381 00:19:00,914 --> 00:19:03,634 Speaker 2: Daycare centers do a really good job of connecting with 382 00:19:03,674 --> 00:19:06,754 Speaker 2: what's happening in the wider society. Like I remember around 383 00:19:06,754 --> 00:19:09,074 Speaker 2: the Olympicks there was lots of Olympic rings and let's 384 00:19:09,114 --> 00:19:11,114 Speaker 2: do the Olympics outside in the backyard and all of 385 00:19:11,154 --> 00:19:14,114 Speaker 2: this sort of stuff. But there's a difference because there's 386 00:19:14,154 --> 00:19:18,274 Speaker 2: no sweep, steak, there's no awarding prizes for first, second, 387 00:19:18,274 --> 00:19:19,994 Speaker 2: and third. If they're going to just watch a horse 388 00:19:20,074 --> 00:19:22,594 Speaker 2: race on TV, that's one thing. But having a sweep 389 00:19:22,674 --> 00:19:24,954 Speaker 2: and prizes so he wins that, I think that's where 390 00:19:24,954 --> 00:19:26,033 Speaker 2: it kind of crosses the line. 391 00:19:26,154 --> 00:19:28,234 Speaker 3: I guess, to be clear, I was less about the 392 00:19:28,394 --> 00:19:31,474 Speaker 3: educational elements of it and more about and now I'm 393 00:19:31,474 --> 00:19:34,714 Speaker 3: going to sound like a Liberal Party politician, so apologies 394 00:19:34,714 --> 00:19:38,674 Speaker 3: to everyone, but here goes. Nation building is something that 395 00:19:39,234 --> 00:19:42,434 Speaker 3: is increasingly hard to do because there are fewer and 396 00:19:42,474 --> 00:19:45,513 Speaker 3: fewer events that we can all come together to celebrate 397 00:19:45,594 --> 00:19:47,994 Speaker 3: and to mark. Now, I don't think that horse racing 398 00:19:48,034 --> 00:19:51,474 Speaker 3: and gambling is an ideal form of nation building, but 399 00:19:51,554 --> 00:19:54,874 Speaker 3: I do want to suggest that we have diminishing opportunities 400 00:19:54,874 --> 00:19:57,154 Speaker 3: to do that. So maybe let's take Melbourne Cup off 401 00:19:57,194 --> 00:19:59,394 Speaker 3: the table, but then let's talk about what we can 402 00:19:59,394 --> 00:20:01,914 Speaker 3: put in its place. Nat oc Week Halloween. 403 00:20:02,154 --> 00:20:04,234 Speaker 2: We talked about Halloween a couple of weeks ago about 404 00:20:04,274 --> 00:20:06,674 Speaker 2: how this is the chance to build community and maybe 405 00:20:06,674 --> 00:20:08,114 Speaker 2: that's what we need to take from it. 406 00:20:08,274 --> 00:20:11,074 Speaker 3: But you know, stepping back from my liberal party platform 407 00:20:11,194 --> 00:20:13,634 Speaker 3: for a minute, I think that really what's going on 408 00:20:13,674 --> 00:20:16,033 Speaker 3: here is kids do find it fun because they just 409 00:20:16,034 --> 00:20:18,674 Speaker 3: want to win a prize. Look at how claw machines 410 00:20:18,714 --> 00:20:21,553 Speaker 3: are kind of had this hypnotic effect on them, and 411 00:20:21,634 --> 00:20:25,034 Speaker 3: you just throw good money after bad not getting anything. 412 00:20:25,714 --> 00:20:28,554 Speaker 3: So I think it's valid to assess whether or not 413 00:20:28,634 --> 00:20:31,074 Speaker 3: the Melbourne Cup is the right event to be teaching 414 00:20:31,074 --> 00:20:34,154 Speaker 3: our kids about. But that innate desire to win little 415 00:20:34,234 --> 00:20:35,634 Speaker 3: prizes runs deep. 416 00:20:35,874 --> 00:20:38,194 Speaker 2: I'm so hardcore about those claw machines. I say to 417 00:20:38,234 --> 00:20:41,434 Speaker 2: my kids, the people that make these are tricking us 418 00:20:41,474 --> 00:20:44,914 Speaker 2: all and PEO will never win. They design them, they 419 00:20:44,954 --> 00:20:47,874 Speaker 2: design them so you can't win. And so now when 420 00:20:47,874 --> 00:20:50,273 Speaker 2: they see them, they have the dopamine pool. But then 421 00:20:50,314 --> 00:20:54,474 Speaker 2: they're like, oh, they're the tricky guys that I'm like, yeah, 422 00:20:54,514 --> 00:20:55,114 Speaker 2: they fucking are. 423 00:20:55,354 --> 00:20:59,074 Speaker 1: I just say they're broken bonds. Jeez, they're broken. 424 00:21:00,114 --> 00:21:02,114 Speaker 3: So one of the biggest adjustments that I had to 425 00:21:02,114 --> 00:21:03,793 Speaker 3: make when my kids started school was one that I 426 00:21:03,794 --> 00:21:05,914 Speaker 3: didn't even know I was going to have to deal with, 427 00:21:05,994 --> 00:21:08,553 Speaker 3: and it is the class group chat. Now I know, Stacey, 428 00:21:08,634 --> 00:21:11,674 Speaker 3: we've discussed that, because you are not yet in the 429 00:21:11,714 --> 00:21:14,474 Speaker 3: school years, this is not something that you're exposed to, 430 00:21:14,634 --> 00:21:16,914 Speaker 3: So I just want to quickly describe what it is 431 00:21:16,954 --> 00:21:19,434 Speaker 3: you need to warn me for others in the same boat. 432 00:21:20,114 --> 00:21:21,994 Speaker 3: I think of the school group chat that you are 433 00:21:22,034 --> 00:21:24,234 Speaker 3: added to at the start of the year as kind 434 00:21:24,354 --> 00:21:27,954 Speaker 3: of like the coal mine of emotional labor. Like you 435 00:21:27,994 --> 00:21:30,434 Speaker 3: know how we always talk about emotional labor and how 436 00:21:30,514 --> 00:21:32,954 Speaker 3: much emotional labor women have to do, and in particular, 437 00:21:32,954 --> 00:21:35,594 Speaker 3: mothers have to do. The school group chat is now 438 00:21:35,754 --> 00:21:40,394 Speaker 3: the place where information is exchanged, where everything gets done. 439 00:21:40,514 --> 00:21:43,314 Speaker 3: It's where the party invitations come, it's it's the place 440 00:21:43,354 --> 00:21:46,434 Speaker 3: for correspondence. But it's also the place where I feel 441 00:21:46,434 --> 00:21:48,834 Speaker 3: like if we were back in the cave. This would 442 00:21:48,874 --> 00:21:50,954 Speaker 3: be like the water hole by the cave where all 443 00:21:50,994 --> 00:21:54,234 Speaker 3: the women hang out and exchange like the important tidbits 444 00:21:54,434 --> 00:21:56,674 Speaker 3: that the other women need to know. Would you say 445 00:21:56,674 --> 00:21:58,954 Speaker 3: that's right? Moms? Is that an accurate description? 446 00:22:00,074 --> 00:22:02,513 Speaker 2: Yeah? I guess, so keep going. What's your theory? 447 00:22:02,674 --> 00:22:03,554 Speaker 3: You look pained? 448 00:22:04,154 --> 00:22:06,834 Speaker 2: Oh? I just I feel for Stacy. I've got some 449 00:22:07,434 --> 00:22:08,634 Speaker 2: to stay growing up. 450 00:22:09,314 --> 00:22:11,794 Speaker 1: You've got advice, I've got rules, which is in keeping 451 00:22:11,794 --> 00:22:13,634 Speaker 1: with our personality love rules. Thank you. 452 00:22:14,594 --> 00:22:17,594 Speaker 3: I don't want to make this a winge about notifications. 453 00:22:17,594 --> 00:22:19,154 Speaker 3: I just want to say that up front. I feel 454 00:22:19,194 --> 00:22:22,033 Speaker 3: like that's very familiar ground. We've all had the winge 455 00:22:22,114 --> 00:22:24,434 Speaker 3: about how we get too many pings on our phone 456 00:22:24,714 --> 00:22:25,834 Speaker 3: and how it's annoying. 457 00:22:26,354 --> 00:22:27,154 Speaker 1: But what I want to. 458 00:22:27,154 --> 00:22:31,554 Speaker 3: Talk about today is what's unsaid about how we use 459 00:22:31,594 --> 00:22:33,714 Speaker 3: the group chats and how we could be maybe using 460 00:22:33,714 --> 00:22:34,154 Speaker 3: them better. 461 00:22:34,194 --> 00:22:35,394 Speaker 1: Okay, that's where I want to take. 462 00:22:35,394 --> 00:22:37,114 Speaker 2: You want to control the group chat, right? 463 00:22:37,194 --> 00:22:39,354 Speaker 3: Okay? I do want to control the group chat, and 464 00:22:39,394 --> 00:22:41,834 Speaker 3: I've got three golden rules to that point. So you 465 00:22:41,874 --> 00:22:42,353 Speaker 3: want to hear them? 466 00:22:42,434 --> 00:22:43,073 Speaker 1: Yes? Please? 467 00:22:43,234 --> 00:22:47,434 Speaker 3: First, big rule, can we just think about whether what 468 00:22:47,514 --> 00:22:49,954 Speaker 3: you are putting out there needs to go to the 469 00:22:50,154 --> 00:22:53,793 Speaker 3: entire class, or if it can be a DM to 470 00:22:53,874 --> 00:22:55,714 Speaker 3: a particular person in the crist it. 471 00:22:55,674 --> 00:22:58,033 Speaker 1: Sounds like the equivalent of a reply all on a 472 00:22:58,074 --> 00:23:01,834 Speaker 1: work female. They are not necessarily very much. 473 00:23:01,874 --> 00:23:05,513 Speaker 3: And I know it's super distressing that your kids reader 474 00:23:05,634 --> 00:23:08,833 Speaker 3: is missing, and I know that you know the jumper 475 00:23:08,914 --> 00:23:12,394 Speaker 3: being lost or potentially left at school is definitely something 476 00:23:12,394 --> 00:23:15,553 Speaker 3: that we all need to know about. But can we 477 00:23:15,674 --> 00:23:17,793 Speaker 3: call it a little bit with those alerts to the 478 00:23:17,954 --> 00:23:18,513 Speaker 3: entire group? 479 00:23:18,634 --> 00:23:21,754 Speaker 2: No, we can't. I disagree, continue you. 480 00:23:21,834 --> 00:23:23,914 Speaker 3: Would, Mons, I can't wait to hear why, because I'm right. 481 00:23:24,194 --> 00:23:28,114 Speaker 3: Second rule, please read the official communications that are sent 482 00:23:28,274 --> 00:23:30,874 Speaker 3: to a school before I ask a question that could 483 00:23:30,914 --> 00:23:31,834 Speaker 3: be answered from them. 484 00:23:32,074 --> 00:23:33,474 Speaker 2: No, I will not continue. 485 00:23:33,754 --> 00:23:37,513 Speaker 3: Third rule, and this is even more controversial, so brace yourself, Monds, 486 00:23:37,994 --> 00:23:41,994 Speaker 3: Please add your kids' names into your name in WhatsApp. 487 00:23:42,874 --> 00:23:45,754 Speaker 3: I can keep track of all of your children and 488 00:23:45,794 --> 00:23:46,314 Speaker 3: their names. 489 00:23:46,434 --> 00:23:49,874 Speaker 1: I like that, and frankly, your name is way less 490 00:23:49,874 --> 00:23:53,394 Speaker 1: important to me than your child's name. So just cut 491 00:23:53,514 --> 00:23:55,474 Speaker 1: us all some slack and put the names of the 492 00:23:55,594 --> 00:23:56,674 Speaker 1: kids in the name. 493 00:23:57,394 --> 00:23:59,954 Speaker 2: I really like that. That should be your number one rule, 494 00:24:00,274 --> 00:24:00,874 Speaker 2: not the third. 495 00:24:01,034 --> 00:24:03,794 Speaker 3: It's not subsuming your identity. I think some people still 496 00:24:03,834 --> 00:24:06,554 Speaker 3: think that they are interesting and unique and that they 497 00:24:06,554 --> 00:24:08,714 Speaker 3: need to tell us about their personality on the class 498 00:24:08,714 --> 00:24:10,793 Speaker 3: group chat. No, I just want to know what your 499 00:24:10,834 --> 00:24:13,394 Speaker 3: kid's name is. Thank you so much, Mon's Why do 500 00:24:13,434 --> 00:24:14,394 Speaker 3: you hate my other rules? 501 00:24:14,554 --> 00:24:17,994 Speaker 2: You can't control the group chat, Amelia. The group chat 502 00:24:18,074 --> 00:24:20,914 Speaker 2: is this organic beast that just is what it is, 503 00:24:21,074 --> 00:24:23,794 Speaker 2: and putting these arbitrary rules on it is just going 504 00:24:23,834 --> 00:24:25,834 Speaker 2: to ruin it for everyone. The rules are for the 505 00:24:25,874 --> 00:24:28,754 Speaker 2: school newsletter. The group chat is where we just have 506 00:24:28,874 --> 00:24:30,914 Speaker 2: fun and play in the sampit. I'm just going to 507 00:24:30,994 --> 00:24:34,194 Speaker 2: warn you, Stacy, there are five types of parents in 508 00:24:34,234 --> 00:24:36,794 Speaker 2: the school group chat, and you will be one of them. 509 00:24:36,834 --> 00:24:38,194 Speaker 2: And I think I know which one you're going. 510 00:24:38,274 --> 00:24:40,954 Speaker 1: Okay, tell me here, hit me with the personalities. 511 00:24:40,954 --> 00:24:44,194 Speaker 2: I love this, Okay. So every group chat has a Nicole, 512 00:24:44,474 --> 00:24:46,754 Speaker 2: and the nicole stands for the organizer of the group. 513 00:24:46,834 --> 00:24:49,714 Speaker 2: She's the logistical glue. Okay. If there's a casual day, 514 00:24:50,034 --> 00:24:53,033 Speaker 2: she's on it. If there's a bake sale, she's got 515 00:24:53,074 --> 00:24:56,034 Speaker 2: a spreadsheet called Cupcake Strategy twenty twenty five and there's 516 00:24:56,074 --> 00:25:00,553 Speaker 2: different tabs. Right, she is the one tree hero of 517 00:25:00,594 --> 00:25:02,794 Speaker 2: this group, and the group would collapse without her. 518 00:25:02,994 --> 00:25:05,314 Speaker 3: By the way, I'm Nicole. I just need to make. 519 00:25:05,194 --> 00:25:10,154 Speaker 1: That see, thank you for your service. This is the 520 00:25:10,234 --> 00:25:12,954 Speaker 1: plot twist, this entire shy. 521 00:25:13,154 --> 00:25:14,954 Speaker 3: Rules man's But anyway, carry on. 522 00:25:15,074 --> 00:25:18,234 Speaker 2: Okay, that's crucial context. I could have used that, because 523 00:25:18,274 --> 00:25:20,674 Speaker 2: as the nicole of the group, you should be coming 524 00:25:20,674 --> 00:25:22,274 Speaker 2: in at the start of the year and saying, here 525 00:25:22,314 --> 00:25:23,594 Speaker 2: are the rules for my group chat. 526 00:25:23,954 --> 00:25:27,634 Speaker 3: Oh that's fascinating. I love that. I think I'll do 527 00:25:27,714 --> 00:25:28,434 Speaker 3: that next year. 528 00:25:28,474 --> 00:25:31,714 Speaker 2: For every nicole. Every school group chat has the Chaos, 529 00:25:31,954 --> 00:25:34,114 Speaker 2: and the Chaos just treats the chat like her own 530 00:25:34,154 --> 00:25:38,074 Speaker 2: personal message board. She's like, hey, guys, like wondering if 531 00:25:38,074 --> 00:25:42,114 Speaker 2: anyone else's little jackson has been coughing since they did swimming, 532 00:25:42,594 --> 00:25:45,154 Speaker 2: or like, hey, guys, has anyone seen Jackson's sports jumper? 533 00:25:45,674 --> 00:25:47,274 Speaker 2: Can you check your kids bags? 534 00:25:47,314 --> 00:25:49,594 Speaker 3: Like you? 535 00:25:49,954 --> 00:25:52,394 Speaker 2: It's not me. It's not me, but I'm offended you 536 00:25:52,394 --> 00:25:54,833 Speaker 2: would think it was me, So I'm kind of pleased 537 00:25:54,834 --> 00:25:58,354 Speaker 2: also that you think it would be me too. The 538 00:25:58,474 --> 00:26:01,354 Speaker 2: Chaos's messages are very frequent, and at the start of 539 00:26:01,394 --> 00:26:04,474 Speaker 2: the year people will respond, but responses just start to 540 00:26:04,554 --> 00:26:06,194 Speaker 2: dwindle as the year kind of goes on. 541 00:26:06,474 --> 00:26:10,234 Speaker 3: Chaos never knows when school goes back after the holidays. 542 00:26:10,314 --> 00:26:12,634 Speaker 3: I truly don't know how chaos even remembers to put 543 00:26:12,674 --> 00:26:13,513 Speaker 3: their head on in the morning. 544 00:26:13,714 --> 00:26:17,474 Speaker 1: Guys, I think I think I'm gonna be chaos. 545 00:26:17,514 --> 00:26:18,154 Speaker 2: You know you're. 546 00:26:19,754 --> 00:26:22,234 Speaker 1: I know you think that's off brand. I know I'm 547 00:26:22,274 --> 00:26:25,674 Speaker 1: such a rule follow but I am hopeless with that stuff. 548 00:26:25,714 --> 00:26:27,874 Speaker 1: I sent my kid to school in uniform when it 549 00:26:27,874 --> 00:26:30,674 Speaker 1: was a mufty date, Like, I'm that guy. So this 550 00:26:30,754 --> 00:26:34,154 Speaker 1: is maybe me, But continue on. 551 00:26:34,314 --> 00:26:37,034 Speaker 2: Another one I've noticed is like the local influencer and 552 00:26:37,114 --> 00:26:39,994 Speaker 2: she or he, actually what am I talking about? It's 553 00:26:39,994 --> 00:26:43,634 Speaker 2: always a woman message sounds like it should be like 554 00:26:43,754 --> 00:26:47,194 Speaker 2: sponsored content. It's like, hey, lovely mammas, just popping on 555 00:26:47,234 --> 00:26:52,794 Speaker 2: here to say it is always lovely mamas, lovely mammas, 556 00:26:52,874 --> 00:26:55,194 Speaker 2: and then signs off always like a love hard emoji, 557 00:26:55,514 --> 00:26:59,034 Speaker 2: and then maybe initials like she's running a brand. Yes, 558 00:26:59,434 --> 00:27:04,114 Speaker 2: there's always an outraged parent. They have pissed, they are 559 00:27:04,234 --> 00:27:08,714 Speaker 2: ready so true over anything. Why weren't we told about 560 00:27:08,754 --> 00:27:11,714 Speaker 2: sports day earlier? Why weren't we told about crazy? 561 00:27:11,754 --> 00:27:14,834 Speaker 3: I've got to take example for Stacy to understand. So 562 00:27:14,994 --> 00:27:18,914 Speaker 3: an outraged parent got so mad because I guess some 563 00:27:19,034 --> 00:27:21,274 Speaker 3: kids were talking about what they did over the holidays 564 00:27:21,354 --> 00:27:23,474 Speaker 3: in my kids class, and she was like, why weren't 565 00:27:23,474 --> 00:27:27,194 Speaker 3: we informed that they would be giving reports on their holidays. Yeah, 566 00:27:27,234 --> 00:27:28,794 Speaker 3: that's classic outraged parent. 567 00:27:29,234 --> 00:27:32,754 Speaker 2: Then there's the silent one. They see everything. They see 568 00:27:32,794 --> 00:27:37,154 Speaker 2: the nicole hustling, they see the chaos being chaotic, but 569 00:27:37,514 --> 00:27:41,354 Speaker 2: they just themselves. They're a ghost. They watch, they float. 570 00:27:42,314 --> 00:27:45,674 Speaker 2: They sometimes might accidentally hit like the thumbs up emoji, 571 00:27:46,074 --> 00:27:47,594 Speaker 2: but then they'll disappear, but that's. 572 00:27:47,474 --> 00:27:49,714 Speaker 3: Their official emoji, actually thumbs up. 573 00:27:50,074 --> 00:27:51,833 Speaker 2: And then the final one is the off grid and 574 00:27:51,874 --> 00:27:54,074 Speaker 2: they are the parent that never joined the group chat 575 00:27:54,114 --> 00:27:56,474 Speaker 2: in the first place, and they are thriving. They might 576 00:27:56,554 --> 00:28:00,074 Speaker 2: be bringing their kid to school in uniform on Mufty Day, 577 00:28:00,074 --> 00:28:01,554 Speaker 2: but they are glowing with happiness. 578 00:28:01,554 --> 00:28:02,914 Speaker 3: So which one do you think is Stacy? 579 00:28:03,314 --> 00:28:05,714 Speaker 2: I think Stacy is going to be the silent one? Yeah, 580 00:28:05,794 --> 00:28:06,474 Speaker 2: ided I. 581 00:28:06,474 --> 00:28:09,034 Speaker 1: Actually with you. Now, I think I'll be the ghost. Well, 582 00:28:09,114 --> 00:28:11,434 Speaker 1: I'll read it, but I'm not contributing. And what are 583 00:28:11,474 --> 00:28:12,874 Speaker 1: you mons I'm the ghost. 584 00:28:13,354 --> 00:28:15,914 Speaker 3: You're the ghost because you raised so a good point 585 00:28:15,954 --> 00:28:18,474 Speaker 3: when I was being dictatorial about group chats, when we 586 00:28:18,514 --> 00:28:22,794 Speaker 3: were talking about them that for the I guess neurospicy 587 00:28:22,834 --> 00:28:25,594 Speaker 3: amongst us. Sometimes it is in fact helpful to be 588 00:28:25,674 --> 00:28:28,354 Speaker 3: able to confirm dates and so on in the group chat. 589 00:28:28,514 --> 00:28:31,234 Speaker 3: And that made me feel bad about setting down my rules. 590 00:28:31,394 --> 00:28:33,754 Speaker 3: But wait, can I talk about that last group? You said, 591 00:28:33,834 --> 00:28:35,514 Speaker 3: are you allowed to not be in it? 592 00:28:36,154 --> 00:28:39,674 Speaker 1: Like? Is that an option? But I mean, you know anything. 593 00:28:39,234 --> 00:28:41,914 Speaker 3: As a nicole, No, you need to be in it. 594 00:28:41,994 --> 00:28:43,914 Speaker 3: But I suppose I'm not going to be able to 595 00:28:43,914 --> 00:28:45,754 Speaker 3: send you to jail for it or anything. 596 00:28:46,194 --> 00:28:48,994 Speaker 2: You don't know anything, And that's where the bliss is stacy, 597 00:28:49,194 --> 00:28:51,154 Speaker 2: Like I was talking to Maggie Dent about this, I 598 00:28:51,234 --> 00:28:54,234 Speaker 2: might have already said that's a bit of yes. I 599 00:28:54,274 --> 00:28:57,834 Speaker 2: know the other day and we were laughing about how 600 00:28:57,834 --> 00:28:59,754 Speaker 2: many apps there are now, and she said, in her 601 00:28:59,834 --> 00:29:01,874 Speaker 2: day she got one note in the school bag, like 602 00:29:01,914 --> 00:29:03,634 Speaker 2: once term that was it? 603 00:29:03,754 --> 00:29:06,434 Speaker 1: A note in the school bag? Oh gosh, I love 604 00:29:06,514 --> 00:29:09,474 Speaker 1: that simpler time. That's so nice. But I feel like 605 00:29:09,634 --> 00:29:12,674 Speaker 1: what you're saying, like with all of these people, it's 606 00:29:12,874 --> 00:29:15,474 Speaker 1: very much Yes, I haven't experienced it in a group 607 00:29:15,554 --> 00:29:18,194 Speaker 1: setting yet, but this is also what you see in 608 00:29:18,234 --> 00:29:21,234 Speaker 1: a workplace setting and in friendship settings a lot of 609 00:29:21,234 --> 00:29:23,594 Speaker 1: the time in group chats, don't you think, like, especially 610 00:29:23,594 --> 00:29:25,634 Speaker 1: at work, there's always, as I said, that one person 611 00:29:25,914 --> 00:29:28,514 Speaker 1: that replies, all, I don't need to know your annual leave. 612 00:29:28,674 --> 00:29:30,674 Speaker 1: The whole company doesn't need to know your onnual leave, 613 00:29:30,674 --> 00:29:32,354 Speaker 1: but you've told us. I think I did that this 614 00:29:32,434 --> 00:29:34,554 Speaker 1: morning at the mom and me a chat by asking 615 00:29:34,674 --> 00:29:37,354 Speaker 1: how to use the printer. That would be an example. Yes, 616 00:29:37,434 --> 00:29:39,394 Speaker 1: that would be an example of that. And then there's 617 00:29:39,394 --> 00:29:41,314 Speaker 1: always the people who are just there for the lolls, 618 00:29:41,394 --> 00:29:43,714 Speaker 1: like they're really there just to get as many emoji 619 00:29:43,754 --> 00:29:46,874 Speaker 1: reactions as they can. That might be me. That's an 620 00:29:46,874 --> 00:29:50,274 Speaker 1: extra subset you could add mons someone who's just there 621 00:29:50,314 --> 00:29:50,914 Speaker 1: for a chuckle. 622 00:29:51,074 --> 00:29:53,354 Speaker 2: I haven't seen that in my group chats yet, and 623 00:29:53,794 --> 00:29:56,034 Speaker 2: that feels I don't know, but you're right then. 624 00:29:56,074 --> 00:29:59,154 Speaker 1: In general, I think there are some striking similarities between 625 00:29:59,194 --> 00:30:02,674 Speaker 1: the class group chat and friend group chats. 626 00:30:02,394 --> 00:30:04,314 Speaker 3: And workplace chats as well. 627 00:30:04,554 --> 00:30:06,874 Speaker 1: The biggest problem with the group chats is I think 628 00:30:06,914 --> 00:30:09,394 Speaker 1: it's It reminded me of this article I read about 629 00:30:09,394 --> 00:30:12,514 Speaker 1: the Great friendship Flattening, and it talks about you sent 630 00:30:12,554 --> 00:30:14,874 Speaker 1: this to me, Emilia. It talks in this Atlantic piece 631 00:30:14,914 --> 00:30:17,594 Speaker 1: about how all our relationships now live on our phone, 632 00:30:17,874 --> 00:30:20,594 Speaker 1: so everything's kind of given the same level of importance. 633 00:30:20,594 --> 00:30:22,474 Speaker 1: So ping from the group chat is the same as 634 00:30:22,514 --> 00:30:25,474 Speaker 1: like a message from your mom and a message telling 635 00:30:25,514 --> 00:30:28,114 Speaker 1: you that your taxes you like, everything feels like it's 636 00:30:28,154 --> 00:30:31,634 Speaker 1: equal importance. And also those like gym texts you get 637 00:30:31,634 --> 00:30:33,754 Speaker 1: that tell you there's like a sale of like the 638 00:30:33,794 --> 00:30:36,474 Speaker 1: Pilates studio you went to once seven years ago, I 639 00:30:36,514 --> 00:30:39,674 Speaker 1: was having fifteen percent off group packages. Yes exactly. So 640 00:30:39,954 --> 00:30:42,874 Speaker 1: we're just getting all these constant pings all the time, 641 00:30:43,234 --> 00:30:45,314 Speaker 1: and it probably feels like that group chat is so 642 00:30:45,474 --> 00:30:48,434 Speaker 1: overwhelming because you know, yes, it's all just given that 643 00:30:48,474 --> 00:30:49,594 Speaker 1: same level of importance. 644 00:30:49,754 --> 00:30:52,194 Speaker 3: I love this theory because I guess that's why I 645 00:30:52,234 --> 00:30:55,274 Speaker 3: brought it to you, thank you, is because it does 646 00:30:55,314 --> 00:30:58,754 Speaker 3: explain why class group chats can feel really overwhelming, because 647 00:30:58,874 --> 00:31:01,434 Speaker 3: mon's when it was just that one piece of paper 648 00:31:01,474 --> 00:31:03,674 Speaker 3: in the bag. That's not overwhelming at all. 649 00:31:03,714 --> 00:31:06,674 Speaker 1: You're not having to figure out intra class dynamics. You 650 00:31:06,794 --> 00:31:08,634 Speaker 1: just get the one piece of paper in the bag. 651 00:31:08,714 --> 00:31:11,594 Speaker 1: So I think that idea of all of our relationships 652 00:31:11,594 --> 00:31:14,754 Speaker 1: becoming flattened goes a long way to explaining why our 653 00:31:14,754 --> 00:31:17,034 Speaker 1: phones have become such a source of anxiety for us. 654 00:31:17,234 --> 00:31:19,154 Speaker 2: Yeah, I think my advice to you, Stacy is not 655 00:31:19,154 --> 00:31:21,754 Speaker 2: to join be the off grid mum. But just read 656 00:31:21,794 --> 00:31:23,874 Speaker 2: the news letter. I see you across the key dates 657 00:31:23,954 --> 00:31:25,554 Speaker 2: and just too cool chat. 658 00:31:25,994 --> 00:31:29,234 Speaker 3: I can't condone that. How's she going to know important dates? 659 00:31:29,274 --> 00:31:31,674 Speaker 3: How's she going to build relationships within the class? How 660 00:31:31,674 --> 00:31:34,034 Speaker 3: are they going to know Jackson's jacket is missing? Like 661 00:31:35,634 --> 00:31:38,594 Speaker 3: life saving information mons. I will be there, but I 662 00:31:38,634 --> 00:31:39,754 Speaker 3: will not be contributing. 663 00:31:40,434 --> 00:31:42,794 Speaker 2: All right, it's start for recommendations. This is the stuff 664 00:31:42,834 --> 00:31:46,354 Speaker 2: we've watched, red, bought, worn, or scroll that we cannot 665 00:31:46,794 --> 00:31:49,554 Speaker 2: shut up about, like the things we're loving sick and 666 00:31:49,594 --> 00:31:52,714 Speaker 2: we reckon. You might love them too, now, no ads here, 667 00:31:52,754 --> 00:31:54,554 Speaker 2: no spon con is it. It's just the real deal, 668 00:31:54,594 --> 00:31:59,394 Speaker 2: like straight from our lives into yours. So, Stacy, the 669 00:31:59,434 --> 00:32:02,274 Speaker 2: pressure is on. We talked earlier about black Fridays looming. 670 00:32:02,874 --> 00:32:05,554 Speaker 2: Is your recommendation the hottest toy of the summer? 671 00:32:05,754 --> 00:32:09,074 Speaker 1: It is? So I've had this for My daughter has 672 00:32:09,114 --> 00:32:11,114 Speaker 1: had this for a couple of years now, and I 673 00:32:11,194 --> 00:32:13,154 Speaker 1: love it. It's the Yoto player. 674 00:32:13,234 --> 00:32:15,194 Speaker 3: Can you explain what that is? Because it just sounds 675 00:32:15,234 --> 00:32:16,034 Speaker 3: like vows to me. 676 00:32:16,234 --> 00:32:20,314 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's basically like a little audio player. 677 00:32:20,434 --> 00:32:23,234 Speaker 3: So is it like a Tony Yeah, like a Tony box. 678 00:32:23,314 --> 00:32:25,154 Speaker 1: Yeah, so it's a version of that, but this one 679 00:32:25,194 --> 00:32:27,434 Speaker 1: has little cards that you put in the top. But 680 00:32:27,474 --> 00:32:29,794 Speaker 1: it does all little different things they can use it for. 681 00:32:29,874 --> 00:32:31,554 Speaker 1: So you can use it as a night light. You 682 00:32:31,594 --> 00:32:33,554 Speaker 1: can set it so that it'll turn green when it's 683 00:32:33,554 --> 00:32:35,274 Speaker 1: okay for them to get up in the morning, or 684 00:32:35,314 --> 00:32:37,154 Speaker 1: when it's nighttime for them to go to bed, it'll 685 00:32:37,154 --> 00:32:40,834 Speaker 1: turn red. There's a toothbrushing timer on there. There's also 686 00:32:41,034 --> 00:32:43,634 Speaker 1: radio on there, so just like kids radio, so they 687 00:32:43,634 --> 00:32:46,314 Speaker 1: can just play music when they're in the room. But 688 00:32:46,554 --> 00:32:49,114 Speaker 1: what I love about it is these little cards, so 689 00:32:49,154 --> 00:32:52,314 Speaker 1: they're different story cards, and so they can sit and 690 00:32:52,394 --> 00:32:54,354 Speaker 1: use it. And it's portable, so you can get like 691 00:32:54,394 --> 00:32:57,474 Speaker 1: a little version. There's a mini version that's they're not cheap, 692 00:32:57,514 --> 00:33:00,474 Speaker 1: so I would suggest this as like your main Christmas present. 693 00:33:00,594 --> 00:33:03,394 Speaker 1: How much it's one hundred and forty nine dollars for 694 00:33:03,434 --> 00:33:06,154 Speaker 1: the mini and one hundred and seventy nine for the 695 00:33:06,754 --> 00:33:08,594 Speaker 1: Gen three, which is what I have. I don't know 696 00:33:08,594 --> 00:33:10,834 Speaker 1: why it's called a Generation three, but that's what it's called. 697 00:33:10,874 --> 00:33:12,034 Speaker 1: The full size one. 698 00:33:12,034 --> 00:33:14,194 Speaker 2: More questions. Do you have to buy the cards to 699 00:33:14,234 --> 00:33:15,234 Speaker 2: put in it? You do. 700 00:33:15,714 --> 00:33:18,954 Speaker 1: You do buy the cards for specific stories, but you 701 00:33:18,994 --> 00:33:22,354 Speaker 1: can also just get playing cards that you can put 702 00:33:22,394 --> 00:33:24,914 Speaker 1: in and you can record someone reading a story to 703 00:33:24,994 --> 00:33:28,194 Speaker 1: your kid. So my brother and his wife live into state, 704 00:33:28,514 --> 00:33:31,314 Speaker 1: so they have recorded themselves reading bedtime stories to my 705 00:33:31,394 --> 00:33:33,714 Speaker 1: daughter and whenever she misses them, she can put on 706 00:33:33,754 --> 00:33:36,634 Speaker 1: the stories and listen to them reading her stories. It's 707 00:33:36,874 --> 00:33:37,674 Speaker 1: very cute. 708 00:33:38,034 --> 00:33:39,634 Speaker 2: This would be a good present for a grandparent to 709 00:33:39,634 --> 00:33:41,794 Speaker 2: give a grand child, may he lives away, and then 710 00:33:41,834 --> 00:33:43,914 Speaker 2: you could gift it to them with the blank cards 711 00:33:43,954 --> 00:33:44,994 Speaker 2: that you've read the story. 712 00:33:45,154 --> 00:33:48,354 Speaker 1: Yes, yes, you could absolutely do that, and like you 713 00:33:48,354 --> 00:33:50,194 Speaker 1: don't have to buy the cards if you don't want to. 714 00:33:50,234 --> 00:33:51,914 Speaker 1: That's the fun for them. So of course it's good 715 00:33:51,914 --> 00:33:53,834 Speaker 1: to have a couple. But then yeah, as I said, 716 00:33:53,834 --> 00:33:57,274 Speaker 1: you can put it on the radio channel. You can, 717 00:33:57,554 --> 00:33:59,994 Speaker 1: like there's just just a stream of radio, so you 718 00:33:59,994 --> 00:34:01,474 Speaker 1: can just have it attached to your WiFi and it 719 00:34:01,514 --> 00:34:02,794 Speaker 1: will just play music to them. 720 00:34:03,314 --> 00:34:06,874 Speaker 2: Can you bluetooth things into it, so like your Spotify? 721 00:34:06,914 --> 00:34:08,794 Speaker 2: Can you put it on that? Is it like a 722 00:34:08,794 --> 00:34:09,433 Speaker 2: Bluetooth speak? 723 00:34:09,514 --> 00:34:12,074 Speaker 1: Oh? I don't actually know. Okay, I don't actually know. 724 00:34:12,274 --> 00:34:14,034 Speaker 1: But you can control it from your phone. 725 00:34:14,274 --> 00:34:17,553 Speaker 2: Okay. Is there a subscription that you have to pay 726 00:34:17,594 --> 00:34:19,754 Speaker 2: for for the app? Everyone? No, Okay, so it's like 727 00:34:19,794 --> 00:34:22,114 Speaker 2: one purchase in stuff. Yeah, except for the cards. 728 00:34:22,514 --> 00:34:25,114 Speaker 1: Yeah, you have to cards, and there is all different ones. 729 00:34:25,114 --> 00:34:28,754 Speaker 1: Like they bring out Demon Hunter's soundtrack, you can have that. 730 00:34:29,034 --> 00:34:31,473 Speaker 1: My Daughters is the Frozen story, so there's one, and 731 00:34:31,514 --> 00:34:33,274 Speaker 1: it goes through all the chapters, so you can be 732 00:34:33,394 --> 00:34:36,033 Speaker 1: like you can just listen to five chapters before bed 733 00:34:36,154 --> 00:34:38,354 Speaker 1: or whatever you want it to be, and then you 734 00:34:38,394 --> 00:34:40,274 Speaker 1: can shut it off remotely from your phone if you 735 00:34:40,274 --> 00:34:42,433 Speaker 1: want to. Once they once they go to releep. But 736 00:34:42,474 --> 00:34:45,754 Speaker 1: they're also good in that they can do Bluetooth headphones 737 00:34:45,794 --> 00:34:47,794 Speaker 1: to it, so they can sit in the car with 738 00:34:47,834 --> 00:34:49,634 Speaker 1: this if you wanted them to, Like they could just 739 00:34:49,634 --> 00:34:51,274 Speaker 1: be sitting there playing with it in the car on 740 00:34:51,314 --> 00:34:53,554 Speaker 1: long road trips, or they can have it in their 741 00:34:53,594 --> 00:34:56,714 Speaker 1: room for nighttime. Like. I just love them so much 742 00:34:56,754 --> 00:35:00,354 Speaker 1: and my daughter uses hers every day. And I contacted 743 00:35:00,394 --> 00:35:02,834 Speaker 1: the Yoto people because I wanted to make sure, and 744 00:35:02,874 --> 00:35:04,473 Speaker 1: they are going on sale for Black Front. 745 00:35:04,554 --> 00:35:06,954 Speaker 3: But I do feel like you're always saying the word yoto. 746 00:35:07,114 --> 00:35:08,514 Speaker 3: That's very important to you. 747 00:35:08,794 --> 00:35:10,354 Speaker 1: I know they should give me a commission for how 748 00:35:10,434 --> 00:35:12,834 Speaker 1: much I rattle on about it, But I just think 749 00:35:12,834 --> 00:35:15,314 Speaker 1: they're really good. It gets them off a screen, but 750 00:35:15,394 --> 00:35:17,514 Speaker 1: it gives them something interactive to be playing. 751 00:35:18,114 --> 00:35:22,234 Speaker 2: I just use the old Google speaker and just play 752 00:35:22,274 --> 00:35:23,154 Speaker 2: shit off Spotify. 753 00:35:23,434 --> 00:35:26,393 Speaker 1: You can do that too. You can absolutely do that too. 754 00:35:26,834 --> 00:35:29,714 Speaker 2: I think the disadvantage of that is we get a 755 00:35:29,714 --> 00:35:32,714 Speaker 2: lot of like, hey, Google, tell me a fart joke 756 00:35:32,994 --> 00:35:33,913 Speaker 2: like constantly. 757 00:35:34,554 --> 00:35:36,674 Speaker 1: I see this will get rid of that, Yes, it 758 00:35:36,714 --> 00:35:39,354 Speaker 1: will priceless. All right. 759 00:35:39,474 --> 00:35:43,034 Speaker 2: I have something to recommend that I almost wasn't allowed 760 00:35:43,034 --> 00:35:45,714 Speaker 2: to tell you about now. The reason is there are 761 00:35:45,754 --> 00:35:48,754 Speaker 2: really strict guidelines about talking about anything that has to 762 00:35:48,794 --> 00:35:53,074 Speaker 2: do with medicines or certain health products, and that includes sunscreen. 763 00:35:53,314 --> 00:35:55,473 Speaker 2: But I felt so strongly about this that I said 764 00:35:55,474 --> 00:35:57,314 Speaker 2: to the team, please, please can I talk about this? 765 00:35:57,474 --> 00:35:57,754 Speaker 3: Okay? 766 00:35:57,794 --> 00:36:02,354 Speaker 2: So here it is. Sunscreen is a really big battle 767 00:36:02,594 --> 00:36:05,033 Speaker 2: in our house, and one of my kids is very 768 00:36:05,074 --> 00:36:08,674 Speaker 2: sensory and very sensitive to how things feel on their 769 00:36:08,674 --> 00:36:12,274 Speaker 2: skin and to smells, and so most sunscreens are just 770 00:36:12,834 --> 00:36:17,194 Speaker 2: not write for this particular child. I was tearing my 771 00:36:17,234 --> 00:36:19,994 Speaker 2: hair out and then I found this one called whip screen. 772 00:36:20,394 --> 00:36:23,194 Speaker 2: It's Australian. It's like a moose texture. It comes out 773 00:36:23,234 --> 00:36:25,994 Speaker 2: like a moose. I've never seen anything like it. It 774 00:36:26,034 --> 00:36:29,714 Speaker 2: smells like bubblegum and watermelon, and there's also an uncentered 775 00:36:29,714 --> 00:36:33,674 Speaker 2: one if your kid can't handle smells. My child will 776 00:36:33,714 --> 00:36:36,994 Speaker 2: actually put this on themselves, And the first time that happened, 777 00:36:37,074 --> 00:36:41,274 Speaker 2: I just had this full body release of relief, like 778 00:36:41,474 --> 00:36:45,433 Speaker 2: finally I have solved this problem. So there are really 779 00:36:45,434 --> 00:36:48,114 Speaker 2: strict rules around recommending products like this, So I want 780 00:36:48,114 --> 00:36:50,433 Speaker 2: to say this is not an ad I'm not being 781 00:36:50,474 --> 00:36:52,953 Speaker 2: paid to say this. I bought it myself and this 782 00:36:53,034 --> 00:36:56,234 Speaker 2: is not medical advice. Just always follow the directions on 783 00:36:56,274 --> 00:36:58,834 Speaker 2: the label and reapply as it says. But if sunscreen 784 00:36:58,914 --> 00:37:00,953 Speaker 2: time is a battle at your place too, for those 785 00:37:00,954 --> 00:37:03,274 Speaker 2: sent three reasons, whipscreen might be worth a try. I 786 00:37:03,354 --> 00:37:04,834 Speaker 2: just wanted to share it because it's made such a 787 00:37:04,834 --> 00:37:05,433 Speaker 2: big difference to. 788 00:37:05,474 --> 00:37:06,873 Speaker 3: Us my recommendation. 789 00:37:07,274 --> 00:37:09,554 Speaker 1: With a bit of a story, So, I have a 790 00:37:09,594 --> 00:37:14,234 Speaker 1: friend who has just had her first baby, and I 791 00:37:14,274 --> 00:37:17,274 Speaker 1: wanted to send her a care package from Australia. She 792 00:37:17,314 --> 00:37:19,433 Speaker 1: lives in the US of sort of the best of 793 00:37:19,634 --> 00:37:24,394 Speaker 1: Australian baby products, so it was really fun to put together. 794 00:37:24,594 --> 00:37:28,074 Speaker 1: And among other things, I threw in some bonds wondersuits 795 00:37:28,434 --> 00:37:32,354 Speaker 1: because that diagonal zip cannot be found outside Australia and 796 00:37:32,394 --> 00:37:35,714 Speaker 1: it is so good for the nighttime crazy changes. 797 00:37:35,794 --> 00:37:39,674 Speaker 3: Yeah, you just can't get them. They've ridiculous clips and things. 798 00:37:39,794 --> 00:37:41,754 Speaker 2: Did you put one of those? Like Muslin raps? 799 00:37:41,914 --> 00:37:44,034 Speaker 3: I did the baby are Agami that I've recommended on 800 00:37:44,034 --> 00:37:47,034 Speaker 3: this show before, which comes from a small business in Sydney, 801 00:37:47,074 --> 00:37:49,474 Speaker 3: which I love because it's good for people who can't 802 00:37:49,594 --> 00:37:53,514 Speaker 3: effectively swaddle. I obviously put in a couple of books 803 00:37:53,594 --> 00:37:58,234 Speaker 3: by mem Fox and I also put in a book 804 00:37:58,274 --> 00:38:02,913 Speaker 3: called The First six Weeks. It is by Victoria's own midwife, Cat. Yes, 805 00:38:03,114 --> 00:38:06,554 Speaker 3: her full name is Catherine Curtain. I have written about 806 00:38:06,554 --> 00:38:11,634 Speaker 3: her before because she really saved my life with my 807 00:38:11,714 --> 00:38:13,913 Speaker 3: first baby. You know how you get sent a lot 808 00:38:13,914 --> 00:38:17,354 Speaker 3: of books from people about how to deal with babies basically, 809 00:38:17,874 --> 00:38:20,714 Speaker 3: and it's very overwhelming. So I said to my friend, 810 00:38:20,834 --> 00:38:23,513 Speaker 3: this is the only book that you need to read 811 00:38:23,754 --> 00:38:26,034 Speaker 3: in the first six weeks, and I dearly read it 812 00:38:26,074 --> 00:38:28,634 Speaker 3: before the first six weeks. And the thing that's so 813 00:38:28,794 --> 00:38:33,194 Speaker 3: revolutionary about what midwife Cath does is she thinks not 814 00:38:33,354 --> 00:38:36,393 Speaker 3: just about the baby, but about the mother and what 815 00:38:36,434 --> 00:38:39,034 Speaker 3: the mother needs in those first six weeks. And to 816 00:38:39,074 --> 00:38:42,474 Speaker 3: that end, she suggests a particular method for putting the 817 00:38:42,514 --> 00:38:46,394 Speaker 3: baby to bed in the evenings that will enable mum 818 00:38:46,554 --> 00:38:49,874 Speaker 3: to sleep for six hours uninterrupted. It's called her BBB 819 00:38:50,074 --> 00:38:53,514 Speaker 3: method bath bottle Bed. It's simple but genius, like all 820 00:38:53,594 --> 00:38:55,634 Speaker 3: good ideas. Like you hear it and you go, oh, 821 00:38:55,674 --> 00:38:58,154 Speaker 3: of course that makes perfect sense. I won't get into 822 00:38:58,194 --> 00:39:01,433 Speaker 3: it here, but it is simple, it is genius, and 823 00:39:01,794 --> 00:39:04,433 Speaker 3: I think that book is just such a gift to 824 00:39:04,874 --> 00:39:08,473 Speaker 3: new mums who, as we've discussed the show, desperately need 825 00:39:08,474 --> 00:39:09,034 Speaker 3: their sleep. 826 00:39:09,274 --> 00:39:10,354 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's great. 827 00:39:10,794 --> 00:39:13,154 Speaker 2: Well that's all we have four this week on Parenting 828 00:39:13,154 --> 00:39:15,514 Speaker 2: out Loud. You're about one friend that would have like 829 00:39:15,634 --> 00:39:18,154 Speaker 2: jumped in on this conversation and had a bit to 830 00:39:18,154 --> 00:39:21,354 Speaker 2: say about it. You should send this episode to them, 831 00:39:21,474 --> 00:39:23,594 Speaker 2: like tell them to come and join in. That's how 832 00:39:23,674 --> 00:39:26,594 Speaker 2: our little show's going to grow. It's just like hassling 833 00:39:26,714 --> 00:39:29,994 Speaker 2: one parent at a time, just like the group Chaos 834 00:39:29,994 --> 00:39:31,993 Speaker 2: could put it in the group No, the Nicole could 835 00:39:31,994 --> 00:39:34,354 Speaker 2: be in the group chat. She would say this is helpful. 836 00:39:34,794 --> 00:39:38,033 Speaker 2: Please profile yourselves Okay, A big thanks to our team, 837 00:39:38,114 --> 00:39:41,754 Speaker 2: Junior content producer Tessa Kotovic, our senior producer Eliah Porgies 838 00:39:41,874 --> 00:39:45,314 Speaker 2: and Executive producer Sashatanic and the group ep is Rith 839 00:39:45,354 --> 00:39:47,914 Speaker 2: de Vine. Have a great week. We will be back 840 00:39:48,154 --> 00:39:56,194 Speaker 2: next Saturday morning. See yah bye, Mummy. Acknowledges the traditional 841 00:39:56,234 --> 00:39:58,834 Speaker 2: owners of the land on which we have recorded this podcast.