WEBVTT - Don’t Take This Advice (But Also Maybe Do?) 0:00:00.040 --> 0:00:03.080 We acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land we're recording 0:00:03.120 --> 0:00:03.720 on today. 0:00:07.680 --> 0:00:11.799 Not everyone does love being a mum, but no one 0:00:11.920 --> 0:00:13.280 really likes the bad shit. 0:00:13.720 --> 0:00:13.960 No. 0:00:14.280 --> 0:00:19.240 I hate being a mum. When my toddler is screaming 0:00:19.680 --> 0:00:22.279 so loudly that they could hear three streets away, when 0:00:22.320 --> 0:00:24.799 I'm brushing his teeth at night, I hate that part 0:00:24.880 --> 0:00:25.560 of being a mother. 0:00:26.000 --> 0:00:26.440 Hate it. 0:00:29.040 --> 0:00:33.159 Hello, Hello, and welcome back to our podcast with no 0:00:33.280 --> 0:00:33.840 current name. 0:00:33.920 --> 0:00:37.680 I'm Kellen McCarron and I'm curious selves and regardless of 0:00:37.680 --> 0:00:40.640 whatever we end up being called, we are still always 0:00:40.680 --> 0:00:43.000 going to be that wildly unhinged podcast all about the 0:00:43.040 --> 0:00:45.280 madness that his motherhood and everything in between. 0:00:45.720 --> 0:00:48.320 Today we're giving unhinged advice on many. 0:00:48.159 --> 0:00:50.600 A topic, if you will, because it's our first monthly 0:00:50.640 --> 0:00:54.240 episode where we answer your questions and give sometimes questionable 0:00:54.680 --> 0:00:58.160 advice to your dilemmas. Don't forget you can always add yours. 0:00:58.200 --> 0:01:00.160 The link will live in our instabio and we will 0:01:00.160 --> 0:01:05.399 also pop it in the show notes. But first, yeah, queen, 0:01:05.720 --> 0:01:06.800 everything through the shit. 0:01:07.440 --> 0:01:11.080 I have a voice that is really failing, so apologies 0:01:11.080 --> 0:01:13.120 for sound and st sexy, Y'll I like it. 0:01:13.240 --> 0:01:15.240 I am up first this week. 0:01:15.720 --> 0:01:18.200 My pit is I don't want everyone to get Madam 0:01:18.240 --> 0:01:22.280 at home sleep training, but not really so I kind 0:01:22.319 --> 0:01:24.839 of had to look at the old calendar and realize 0:01:24.840 --> 0:01:29.440 that Suki Dooki is four months my goodness, and her 0:01:29.520 --> 0:01:31.560 sleep had been a bit shit the past couple of nights, 0:01:31.600 --> 0:01:34.080 and it was like, duh, the four months sleep regression. 0:01:34.360 --> 0:01:36.520 But I'm not like freaking out about that at all. 0:01:37.360 --> 0:01:40.320 I'm just kind of being more aware of kind of 0:01:40.360 --> 0:01:43.280 the rhythms to how she's sleeping and when she likes 0:01:43.319 --> 0:01:43.759 to sleep. 0:01:43.880 --> 0:01:45.760 She certainly doesn't like to sleep at the moment. 0:01:45.920 --> 0:01:47.920 She doesn't want to sleep right now, which is not 0:01:48.040 --> 0:01:49.880 very good because we're trying to record a podcast. 0:01:50.200 --> 0:01:51.800 But when I was reading this thing, it was like 0:01:51.800 --> 0:01:52.880 the Huckleberry app. 0:01:53.280 --> 0:01:55.560 They were like, don't think of it as a regression, 0:01:55.640 --> 0:01:59.200 Like developmentally, she's just hitting a massive new milestone. She's 0:01:59.240 --> 0:02:00.880 now starting to sleep like an adult. And I was 0:02:00.920 --> 0:02:02.040 just like, fuck yeah. 0:02:02.400 --> 0:02:03.240 But I've been. 0:02:03.160 --> 0:02:06.200 Flirting with the idea of a loose routine see where 0:02:06.240 --> 0:02:09.800 we land, and I started trying it, and I had 0:02:09.840 --> 0:02:13.639 a little suspicion that her biggest nap she really likes 0:02:13.680 --> 0:02:14.400 to do in the morning. 0:02:14.440 --> 0:02:16.480 So it's just completely the opposite to what Rue did. 0:02:16.720 --> 0:02:18.040 I've just got to learn how to do it a 0:02:18.040 --> 0:02:18.639 bit differently. 0:02:18.680 --> 0:02:20.360 And I was really hoping that we might have the 0:02:20.360 --> 0:02:23.360 same routine, which I can get around. But she loves 0:02:23.360 --> 0:02:25.079 a really long nap in the morning and a really 0:02:25.120 --> 0:02:27.639 long nap in the afternoon, which sounds brilliant, but when 0:02:27.680 --> 0:02:30.400 you have to get things done or leave the house. 0:02:30.320 --> 0:02:32.760 Or drop the child off at daycare, yeah. 0:02:32.480 --> 0:02:33.960 It's just a little bit tricky. 0:02:34.280 --> 0:02:36.400 How many naps do they have at this age? 0:02:36.440 --> 0:02:40.320 I forget three to four a day. She's probably sitting 0:02:40.320 --> 0:02:42.600 out a solid three, but she does a lot of catnapping. 0:02:42.680 --> 0:02:44.160 And also if I have to get up, it's the 0:02:44.240 --> 0:02:45.880 end of her nap. Because she does all of her 0:02:45.960 --> 0:02:48.760 naps a contact naps during the day, I can't, for 0:02:48.800 --> 0:02:51.639 the life of me get her down. When Rue gets home, 0:02:51.639 --> 0:02:53.360 and I can see that she's really tired at like 0:02:53.400 --> 0:02:56.960 six point fifteen, but I can't put her down, and 0:02:57.000 --> 0:02:59.120 I know it's like, just do another contact nap, But 0:02:59.160 --> 0:03:01.280 by the end of the day, I am so touched out. 0:03:01.400 --> 0:03:03.240 You also need to cook dinner for Rue, and like, 0:03:03.280 --> 0:03:04.360 because Charlie's. 0:03:04.000 --> 0:03:06.840 Not there, I want my focus to also be on Rue, 0:03:06.880 --> 0:03:10.160 Like I really miss her and I've been with Suki 0:03:10.240 --> 0:03:12.160 all day. She's had my attention all day, and I 0:03:12.200 --> 0:03:14.600 really just want to be able to pop her down 0:03:15.080 --> 0:03:17.040 and for her to go to sleep, and just for 0:03:17.120 --> 0:03:19.040 me to have that like hour hour and a half 0:03:19.080 --> 0:03:22.440 with Rue until I'm ordering her around to do things 0:03:22.440 --> 0:03:24.040 because she needs to go to sleep, you know, Like 0:03:24.080 --> 0:03:25.960 I want them to be a bit more positive in 0:03:26.040 --> 0:03:27.760 our nighttime routine. 0:03:27.800 --> 0:03:29.160 And it's just really really hard. 0:03:29.200 --> 0:03:32.200 I know we'll get there, but it's hard to try 0:03:32.240 --> 0:03:34.920 and think of in what reality am I ever going 0:03:34.960 --> 0:03:36.920 to be able to have a routine at night with 0:03:36.960 --> 0:03:40.680 the both of them. It just seems so chaotic. And 0:03:41.360 --> 0:03:43.080 I tried to do it once last night. I put 0:03:43.080 --> 0:03:44.760 her down. She just cried, cried, cried, cried. So I 0:03:44.800 --> 0:03:46.440 just picked her up and I was like, all right, well, 0:03:46.440 --> 0:03:47.880 we gave that a try, Let's not try that. 0:03:47.800 --> 0:03:48.600 Again for a while. 0:03:48.880 --> 0:03:50.560 So I think what I'm going to do the new 0:03:50.600 --> 0:03:53.640 plan moving forward is just to bring out the cozy 0:03:53.920 --> 0:03:57.000 Ltuti side sleeper that I have, just to pop her 0:03:57.040 --> 0:03:58.800 in there because it's mesh on the side, so she'll 0:03:58.800 --> 0:04:00.360 be able to see me and I'll just grew up 0:04:00.360 --> 0:04:02.440 if she cries, but then I'll put her down because 0:04:02.480 --> 0:04:04.560 she is tired. I'm thinking if I put her in 0:04:04.560 --> 0:04:06.560 like an arms out swaddle, which she can be, and 0:04:06.600 --> 0:04:11.320 now maybe she will just naturally fall asleep if we're 0:04:11.360 --> 0:04:13.520 in the room together, because I think for her, she 0:04:13.600 --> 0:04:14.080 just does. 0:04:14.080 --> 0:04:15.200 She'll be able to hear you. 0:04:15.360 --> 0:04:18.120 And yeah, she just want to miss out. She's very inquisitive. 0:04:18.400 --> 0:04:20.760 She is like right now, she wants to be part 0:04:20.760 --> 0:04:21.680 of our conversation. 0:04:22.080 --> 0:04:25.159 She really She's across the rooms, bubbling away and I'm 0:04:25.200 --> 0:04:26.080 just letting her do it. 0:04:26.080 --> 0:04:28.359 She's in the bouncer, but she's just like girls, I'm still. 0:04:28.160 --> 0:04:29.960 Out, yeah, and I've got a lot to add. 0:04:30.480 --> 0:04:30.920 Yeah. 0:04:31.000 --> 0:04:32.559 So I'll let you know how all of that goes. 0:04:32.600 --> 0:04:35.840 I'm trying not to spiral about it, get overwhelmed by it. 0:04:35.880 --> 0:04:39.320 But I'm just ready to just try to make that 0:04:39.520 --> 0:04:43.360 last night nap or beginning of her night's sleep really 0:04:43.400 --> 0:04:45.640 get together so that Ru and I can have that 0:04:45.720 --> 0:04:46.200 time again. 0:04:47.080 --> 0:04:49.200 My peak quick. 0:04:48.920 --> 0:04:52.080 Story left at four point fifty to go pick up Rue. 0:04:52.360 --> 0:04:55.200 Went down to my car park and some piece of 0:04:55.240 --> 0:04:58.440 shit ass hat as I called them, fully fully parked 0:04:58.440 --> 0:04:59.720 me in as inn, there was no way I could 0:04:59.720 --> 0:04:59.960 get her. 0:05:00.080 --> 0:05:00.600 I tried this. 0:05:00.600 --> 0:05:02.360 There was this other gentleman in a car park who 0:05:02.720 --> 0:05:05.600 he and his wife and I will like, very friendly, 0:05:05.920 --> 0:05:07.320 and he's like, you're not going to be able to 0:05:07.320 --> 0:05:08.640 get out, and I was like, I've got to go 0:05:08.680 --> 0:05:11.480 get my daughter from daycare. And it's not like, oh, 0:05:11.520 --> 0:05:13.159 I parked and I can go get an uber. I 0:05:13.200 --> 0:05:15.960 can't get an uber or a cab with a baby. 0:05:16.600 --> 0:05:19.240 I can get a cab with RU, but I still 0:05:19.240 --> 0:05:20.840 have the baby, So like, what am I going to do? 0:05:21.400 --> 0:05:22.480 And I can't. 0:05:22.720 --> 0:05:24.680 This is obviously stupid, and I know I need to 0:05:24.720 --> 0:05:26.159 learn how to do this, but I don't actually know 0:05:26.200 --> 0:05:28.640 how to take the car seats in and out, so 0:05:28.839 --> 0:05:30.880 I need to obviously learn how to do that for 0:05:31.120 --> 0:05:35.240 situations like this, but I was just really really pissed off. 0:05:35.400 --> 0:05:36.799 Anyway, it ended up being fine. 0:05:36.800 --> 0:05:40.080 I called my girlfriend back, Goldie's mum, and she luckily 0:05:40.120 --> 0:05:42.240 didn't have her little baby. Her mother in law was 0:05:42.279 --> 0:05:45.000 at her house, so she's on our emergency contact list, 0:05:45.040 --> 0:05:46.160 so she was able to pick up Ru and drop 0:05:46.279 --> 0:05:46.480 her over. 0:05:46.560 --> 0:05:47.760 So everything was fine. 0:05:48.360 --> 0:05:50.800 But what I am proud about is that I am 0:05:50.920 --> 0:05:53.359 such an anxious person that often, in the heat of 0:05:53.360 --> 0:05:57.159 the moment, especially when things aren't fair, I'll get swept 0:05:57.240 --> 0:06:00.279 up in it and I'll handle it and it's not 0:06:00.320 --> 0:06:04.760 an overreaction, but I always have like reaction regret. So me, 0:06:05.000 --> 0:06:07.719 I wanted to obviously write this really rude note and 0:06:07.760 --> 0:06:10.039 be like, you're a dickhead. I hope you know what 0:06:10.080 --> 0:06:12.800 you've done. In my head, I just thought I want 0:06:12.800 --> 0:06:15.880 to say something because it's not nice, but I also 0:06:16.000 --> 0:06:19.200 don't want to have any feelings afterwards that I'd done 0:06:19.200 --> 0:06:21.159 something wrong. And this is really unique to me. I 0:06:21.160 --> 0:06:25.360 think my anxiety is obviously insane. So I wrote a 0:06:25.440 --> 0:06:29.080 firm but fair note, and the note said, hello, you 0:06:29.160 --> 0:06:32.040 parked me in. As a result, I was unable to 0:06:32.040 --> 0:06:35.159 pick up my daughter from daycare next time. Leave a 0:06:35.200 --> 0:06:38.279 phone number, thanks, And I felt like that was enough 0:06:38.320 --> 0:06:40.200 for me to get it off my chest, pop it 0:06:40.240 --> 0:06:42.719 on the windscreen. It's a dick move on a party 0:06:42.720 --> 0:06:44.320 bags you already think I had in the car, But 0:06:44.400 --> 0:06:46.080 I just thought you can read between the lines. And 0:06:46.120 --> 0:06:49.919 I also thought, often the tone and how you say 0:06:49.960 --> 0:06:53.120 something can affect the impact of it, especially in a 0:06:53.120 --> 0:06:55.400 situation like this, like how many times has a friend 0:06:55.440 --> 0:06:57.040 gotten a note on their car saying you're a. 0:06:57.040 --> 0:06:59.960 Dickhead you fucking parked me in. But then it becomes 0:07:00.080 --> 0:07:00.440 a joke. 0:07:00.800 --> 0:07:04.240 I posted it on our Insta and everyone agreed that 0:07:04.279 --> 0:07:06.799 you were far too nice, So I think you should 0:07:06.839 --> 0:07:07.279 be proud. 0:07:07.480 --> 0:07:09.520 I just know myself and I know that what would 0:07:09.560 --> 0:07:11.600 happen is that I would turn this into that I've 0:07:11.640 --> 0:07:14.040 done something wrong and that I shouldn't have reacted like that. 0:07:14.440 --> 0:07:17.320 But I wanted them to feel guilty because I'd handled 0:07:17.360 --> 0:07:18.200 it so nicely. 0:07:18.520 --> 0:07:20.760 Someone pointed out that you could have called the police. 0:07:21.240 --> 0:07:21.600 Yeah, I know. 0:07:21.680 --> 0:07:23.600 Well, actually someone who was there who was like so 0:07:23.680 --> 0:07:26.160 pissed off about it, more so than me goking, he 0:07:26.200 --> 0:07:28.600 actually put in a complaint to Strata, So they're probably 0:07:28.640 --> 0:07:29.480 going to get in trouble. 0:07:30.040 --> 0:07:31.800 So go me, Okay, your turn. 0:07:32.440 --> 0:07:35.880 My pit is that I am absolutely drowning. I feel 0:07:35.880 --> 0:07:38.600 like I'm flailing around like a fish. I am so 0:07:39.200 --> 0:07:43.400 overwhelmed with everything at the moment. Luke is doing night 0:07:43.480 --> 0:07:46.000 shift five nights a week. I work full time. As 0:07:46.000 --> 0:07:49.480 I mentioned last week, I have all my coms overloading me. 0:07:50.120 --> 0:07:50.880 I have no help. 0:07:51.080 --> 0:07:53.440 My grandma still isn't exactly like she's not ready to 0:07:53.440 --> 0:07:57.360 go on a cruise. There are five different building projects 0:07:57.400 --> 0:07:59.880 around the house. Everything is just a disaster because I 0:08:00.040 --> 0:08:02.560 start things and then never do them. The gardening needs 0:08:02.600 --> 0:08:04.240 to be done, and I have to get an accountant, 0:08:04.280 --> 0:08:06.160 which is then just a huge job getting them to 0:08:06.160 --> 0:08:08.480 sort through everything and everything that I have to send them. 0:08:08.920 --> 0:08:10.800 I need to set up a website. I haven't eaten 0:08:10.800 --> 0:08:13.640 a home cooked meal for weeks. I need to go 0:08:13.680 --> 0:08:16.560 to the dentist. I'm having stomach cramps. My vertigo is back. 0:08:16.600 --> 0:08:18.920 I still haven't done the forms for any surgery with 0:08:19.160 --> 0:08:21.880 HCF like to get any money back. My list just 0:08:21.960 --> 0:08:25.320 keeps getting longer. And the problem isn't the hours in 0:08:25.360 --> 0:08:25.680 the day. 0:08:25.840 --> 0:08:28.920 I have enough self awareness to recognize that. 0:08:29.360 --> 0:08:31.640 It is just that my brain seems to be getting 0:08:31.640 --> 0:08:33.439 worse and worse at being able to actually finish a 0:08:33.559 --> 0:08:38.760 task and get through a to do list, and it's 0:08:38.840 --> 0:08:40.880 just really really stressing me out. 0:08:41.400 --> 0:08:43.679 I'm sorry, he is that. 0:08:43.800 --> 0:08:46.320 I'm really enjoying getting dressed at the moment. Winter fashion 0:08:46.400 --> 0:08:49.240 is so much fun. Winter's a mess yet, like just 0:08:49.280 --> 0:08:53.199 being able to layer and play around with clothes and 0:08:53.320 --> 0:08:55.760 it's just so much more interesting than chucking on a dress. 0:08:56.320 --> 0:08:58.120 So I'll pull things out that I've had for six 0:08:58.320 --> 0:09:00.960 years and I just forgot that I did and I'm 0:09:01.000 --> 0:09:01.880 just having a lot of fun. 0:09:02.040 --> 0:09:03.760 Yeah, I love that. I love that. I have been 0:09:03.880 --> 0:09:05.480 very inspired by you. So keep it up. 0:09:05.720 --> 0:09:09.240 Next up our unhinged parenting, or just advice in general, 0:09:09.440 --> 0:09:16.360 lack thereof, if you will, before. 0:09:16.000 --> 0:09:18.520 We get into your questions and dilemmas a reminder that 0:09:18.559 --> 0:09:21.400 we are in no way qualified to give advice. Think 0:09:21.440 --> 0:09:24.160 of kel as you're drunk aunt. She'll tell you like 0:09:24.240 --> 0:09:26.800 it is, but also has a heart of gold. And 0:09:26.840 --> 0:09:28.840 I'm more like a good friend who will be sensitive 0:09:28.840 --> 0:09:32.439 about your feelings but still give hopefully helpful advice. 0:09:32.559 --> 0:09:35.640 Tibid Question number one, Kiris, do you want to take 0:09:35.679 --> 0:09:36.800 it away perfect? 0:09:37.240 --> 0:09:39.600 Is it better to live far from your support network 0:09:39.679 --> 0:09:42.800 or village to earn a high income or stay close 0:09:42.840 --> 0:09:45.520 to them and accept a more modest lifestyle such a 0:09:45.520 --> 0:09:45.880 good one. 0:09:45.880 --> 0:09:46.319 What do you think? 0:09:46.360 --> 0:09:51.880 Hell, this one is so good and it's so hard 0:09:52.280 --> 0:09:54.679 you straight away think, we'll obviously just accept the more 0:09:54.679 --> 0:09:57.679 modest lifestyle so you have people around you. But it's 0:09:57.720 --> 0:09:59.040 not always as easy as that. 0:09:59.559 --> 0:09:59.920 You don't know. 0:10:00.000 --> 0:10:03.000 So, what sort of jobs are available in the area 0:10:03.040 --> 0:10:04.920 that someone sort of grew up or that their family 0:10:04.960 --> 0:10:08.240 and friends are in. It really made me think because 0:10:08.960 --> 0:10:12.200 over the past year or so, I've been in a 0:10:12.240 --> 0:10:15.560 situation where I don't think I've ever mentioned this to 0:10:15.600 --> 0:10:19.200 you before, but our family friends that live on the 0:10:19.200 --> 0:10:22.040 same as state as my parents are selling their house. 0:10:22.440 --> 0:10:27.880 There's acres, there's a pool, there's so much space, and 0:10:28.240 --> 0:10:30.840 it's incredible and we can afford it, and it would 0:10:30.880 --> 0:10:32.920 be in the same a state as my parents. That 0:10:33.080 --> 0:10:36.440 is a pretty good gig, but we would not be 0:10:36.480 --> 0:10:38.640 I mean, Luke could work anywhere. Technically I can work 0:10:38.640 --> 0:10:41.320 anywhere because I would just be coming to Sydney, but 0:10:41.760 --> 0:10:44.040 Luke would not be earning the same amount that he 0:10:44.120 --> 0:10:45.160 would be in Sydney. 0:10:45.600 --> 0:10:46.480 And even though we'd be. 0:10:46.400 --> 0:10:49.079 Close to my parents, I only have one friend up there. 0:10:49.120 --> 0:10:53.079 He doesn't have anyone, and we'd be moving away from 0:10:53.440 --> 0:10:56.560 the village that we've sort of created. It's so hard, 0:10:56.600 --> 0:11:00.160 but I would say, while you're younger, if there's an 0:11:00.200 --> 0:11:05.440 option to create a village where you can earn more money, 0:11:05.800 --> 0:11:08.200 I would do that just because you're going to get 0:11:08.200 --> 0:11:10.840 to a life stagehere. You probably don't want to work 0:11:10.920 --> 0:11:13.120 keeps and you sort of do want to take that 0:11:13.200 --> 0:11:15.560 step back in your career. Maybe that is now, though 0:11:15.800 --> 0:11:17.800 I don't know, what do you think it's so hard? 0:11:18.240 --> 0:11:20.080 I think it comes down to like what brings you 0:11:20.120 --> 0:11:24.360 the most joy because for us, we currently choose to 0:11:24.400 --> 0:11:27.080 live in Sydney for the lifestyle and also the money, 0:11:27.240 --> 0:11:30.400 Like we couldn't earn necessarily the same money that we 0:11:30.440 --> 0:11:34.160 could had we both lived in Brisbane. So the longer 0:11:34.200 --> 0:11:36.839 we're here, the longer I actually see us living here, 0:11:36.840 --> 0:11:37.439 And I think. 0:11:37.320 --> 0:11:40.559 What it is. It's like, obviously it would be easier. 0:11:40.200 --> 0:11:42.360 To live near family, for sure, and every time we 0:11:42.400 --> 0:11:45.679 get together with our family, we're just like, oh so 0:11:45.679 --> 0:11:49.400 so nice. But I also love where we live and 0:11:49.440 --> 0:11:51.319 I love that we get to do things that I 0:11:51.400 --> 0:11:52.200 might not get to do. 0:11:52.320 --> 0:11:53.520 How to move back home. 0:11:54.120 --> 0:11:56.160 Although it's tough, I think what's really good about it 0:11:56.200 --> 0:11:57.760 is that it gets you out of your bubble because 0:11:58.000 --> 0:12:01.840 you're constantly meeting new people, especially as a parent. The 0:12:01.880 --> 0:12:05.120 next phase I'm really looking forward to is school. It's 0:12:05.160 --> 0:12:07.280 like that next stage of building your village, because that's 0:12:07.280 --> 0:12:10.000 when your kids go on to make their friends and 0:12:10.040 --> 0:12:11.720 they hang out with them quite a lot, and you 0:12:11.800 --> 0:12:14.760 have different sports activities or whatever activities that they're into. 0:12:14.840 --> 0:12:17.319 So you end up but this is what I've heard anyway, 0:12:17.720 --> 0:12:21.160 having like another group of friends that you add to 0:12:21.200 --> 0:12:21.840 your village. 0:12:22.160 --> 0:12:23.839 So I don't know. I think I'm in the. 0:12:23.800 --> 0:12:26.800 Boat of do it for the lifestyle because you only 0:12:26.840 --> 0:12:29.800 live once. But if it's not working, change it up. 0:12:30.200 --> 0:12:32.360 Don't feel like you fully have to do one thing 0:12:32.440 --> 0:12:34.760 or the other. Like, if you can afford it and 0:12:34.840 --> 0:12:37.520 it works for you, try it out. And if you 0:12:37.600 --> 0:12:39.679 end up wanting to move closer to family, that's okay 0:12:39.679 --> 0:12:42.720 as well. But for us at the moment, lifestyle and 0:12:42.760 --> 0:12:45.680 just seeing our family more frequently, I think that's also key. 0:12:45.800 --> 0:12:48.240 Is like, yeah, not just waiting for big holidays, like 0:12:48.480 --> 0:12:52.040 doing a long weekend here and there, getting together those 0:12:52.040 --> 0:12:54.120 things are really important. So making sure that you're still 0:12:54.160 --> 0:12:57.679 having those touch points even though parenting in a different 0:12:57.720 --> 0:12:59.079 place is pretty hard. 0:12:59.480 --> 0:12:59.840 Yeah. 0:13:00.480 --> 0:13:03.600 You know, if my sister, because apparently they've got like 0:13:03.679 --> 0:13:06.320 a base in Paul McCrary for my brother in law's work, 0:13:06.400 --> 0:13:08.480 if they moved up to Paul McCreary, I'd move back. 0:13:08.800 --> 0:13:10.240 I'd buy that property in a heartbeat. 0:13:10.559 --> 0:13:13.880 Yeah, because she's a big lifeline. 0:13:13.360 --> 0:13:17.000 For you, huge huge I could live without seeing my 0:13:17.080 --> 0:13:20.400 friends every week. Like, you know, I could live with 0:13:20.440 --> 0:13:23.920 seeing my friends once a month because I'd be coming 0:13:23.960 --> 0:13:25.720 down to Sydney so much anyway, But I just could 0:13:25.720 --> 0:13:27.920 not live without seeing her and my niece and nephew 0:13:28.000 --> 0:13:31.719 all the time. Yeah, question number two, what are the 0:13:31.760 --> 0:13:34.719 main things I need to plan for approximately one year 0:13:34.760 --> 0:13:40.360 off starting to try for kids? Fitness, money, relationship and housing. 0:13:40.320 --> 0:13:42.800 And the way of housing. Babies are little for ages 0:13:43.080 --> 0:13:47.040 and like Toddler's a little don't be stressed out about housing, 0:13:48.200 --> 0:13:50.240 I don't think. I think, take that off your plate 0:13:50.400 --> 0:13:52.480 unless you're only adding one person. 0:13:52.320 --> 0:13:54.040 Unless you know that you're going to have to move 0:13:54.040 --> 0:13:57.880 when they're really little, because that is so stressful. 0:13:58.240 --> 0:13:58.600 I think. 0:13:58.679 --> 0:14:01.360 Don't let the hell that you live in deter you 0:14:01.400 --> 0:14:04.480 from having a children, Like everything doesn't have to be perfect. 0:14:04.520 --> 0:14:06.679 Like people often move their baby out of the room 0:14:06.679 --> 0:14:09.840 at six months, So you've got nine slash ten months 0:14:09.840 --> 0:14:12.560 of pregnancy and then six months where they're gonna live 0:14:12.559 --> 0:14:15.480 in your room even longer, very little, even longer, even longer. 0:14:15.520 --> 0:14:18.920 Sonny, it's over three. Does he need his own room? No, 0:14:19.080 --> 0:14:20.560 he doesn't because he doesn't use. 0:14:20.440 --> 0:14:23.560 It exactly, So don't let that be a deterrent. But 0:14:23.600 --> 0:14:25.480 for me, I would say the things that you need 0:14:25.520 --> 0:14:28.600 to focus on is your relationship and your finances for sure, 0:14:28.640 --> 0:14:31.160 because they are the two things that will be the 0:14:31.200 --> 0:14:33.920 most strained after having a baby, and they need to 0:14:33.920 --> 0:14:39.040 be rock solid going into Yeah, this huge, big life change. 0:14:39.520 --> 0:14:40.440 I completely agree. 0:14:40.480 --> 0:14:44.040 I actually have friends that I would say have one 0:14:44.080 --> 0:14:46.800 of the healthiest relationships out of all of my friends 0:14:46.800 --> 0:14:50.200 and their relationships who they didn't even have anything wrong 0:14:50.240 --> 0:14:51.240 that they needed. 0:14:50.960 --> 0:14:53.440 To speak to a counselor about, but they. 0:14:53.280 --> 0:14:56.880 Went and did a bunch of counseling marriage counseling sessions 0:14:56.960 --> 0:14:58.640 while she was pregnant because she was like, I do 0:14:58.680 --> 0:15:00.920 not want to have a baby into with life. Sorted 0:15:00.920 --> 0:15:03.960 some stuff out and done a bunch of sessions so 0:15:04.000 --> 0:15:04.760 if you can afford it. 0:15:04.920 --> 0:15:06.280 I thought that was such a good idea. 0:15:06.440 --> 0:15:09.320 It is such a good idea, Like anytime you're investing 0:15:09.360 --> 0:15:11.280 in your relationship is amazing. 0:15:11.640 --> 0:15:12.120 And I agree. 0:15:12.160 --> 0:15:14.600 Financially, it would be nice to be able to have 0:15:14.680 --> 0:15:18.000 time off proper maternity leave without having to worry too much. 0:15:18.520 --> 0:15:22.480 Yeah, yeah, I agree, I agree. Okay, Question three best 0:15:22.600 --> 0:15:25.800 wedding planning tip please, I'm in the trenches kind of 0:15:25.800 --> 0:15:28.920 love keys eight week approach. But alas, what do you think, 0:15:29.000 --> 0:15:33.840 cal don't bother? Save your money, what a waste of money? 0:15:34.080 --> 0:15:34.760 Don't do it. 0:15:35.400 --> 0:15:39.640 So on the flip side of that, I would say, 0:15:40.200 --> 0:15:42.480 don't worry about the small things. Don't worry about the 0:15:42.480 --> 0:15:45.280 pomp and ceremony of it all. I think the simpler 0:15:45.400 --> 0:15:49.240 the better, and often the more fun because you worry less, 0:15:49.240 --> 0:15:52.880 you care less, and on the day, honestly it doesn't matter. 0:15:53.600 --> 0:15:55.840 But definitely get some kind of wet weather. 0:15:57.680 --> 0:16:00.800 Or you will all end up partying in side, which 0:16:00.920 --> 0:16:02.160 to be fair, is still fun. 0:16:02.400 --> 0:16:03.000 Was really fun. 0:16:03.040 --> 0:16:05.520 But just don't get caught up in the small stuff 0:16:05.560 --> 0:16:08.360 like bombonds and table settings like who cares? 0:16:08.440 --> 0:16:09.640 Who cares? 0:16:09.800 --> 0:16:14.400 Just make sure good food, good music, and shrinks pitches. 0:16:15.000 --> 0:16:15.880 That's so true. 0:16:16.040 --> 0:16:18.320 One of my biggest piece of advice after I got 0:16:18.320 --> 0:16:21.640 married was like, fuck the details, because no one cares 0:16:21.680 --> 0:16:22.920 about them the way that you do. 0:16:23.440 --> 0:16:25.280 I was just so heavy on the details. 0:16:25.640 --> 0:16:31.240 But for weeks prior I bought like these biodegradable silk 0:16:31.840 --> 0:16:32.640 rose petals. 0:16:33.200 --> 0:16:36.480 Aren't normal rose petals biodegradable, They're a flower. 0:16:36.760 --> 0:16:39.840 It's too hard, like in a small town area it's 0:16:39.880 --> 0:16:42.480 too hard to guarantee that you're gonna get rose petals 0:16:43.040 --> 0:16:45.680 God on the day. Also, it would have been so 0:16:45.880 --> 0:16:50.479 expensive because I wanted the entire grounds of the backyard 0:16:50.480 --> 0:16:53.680 area basically littered with rose petals. 0:16:54.360 --> 0:16:54.760 Got it. 0:16:54.840 --> 0:16:55.360 So I was. 0:16:55.320 --> 0:17:00.560 Buying these like shrink wrapped packs of them from China 0:17:00.600 --> 0:17:03.880 and like separating them, spending hours and hours and hours 0:17:03.880 --> 0:17:06.919 of nights, and they were meant to all be on 0:17:06.960 --> 0:17:11.120 the ground when people returned from the ceremony. No one 0:17:11.160 --> 0:17:14.080 else cared. It was such a waste of money. It 0:17:14.119 --> 0:17:17.399 was bad for the environment. I was so caught up 0:17:17.400 --> 0:17:20.200