WEBVTT - Chef's Kiss 0:00:12.850 --> 0:00:15.570 You're listening to a MoMA Mia podcast. 0:00:17.970 --> 0:00:21.290 Mamma Mia acknowledges the traditional owners of the land and waters. 0:00:21.330 --> 0:00:39.570 This podcast is recorded on the power of this sisterhood. 0:00:39.890 --> 0:00:43.410 Isn't it glorious? Female friendships can really be the true 0:00:43.650 --> 0:00:47.170 great loves of our lives. Lucy certainly felt it with 0:00:47.210 --> 0:00:48.090 her bestie Holly. 0:00:48.530 --> 0:00:51.370 I'd never really had a girlfriend like that before. And 0:00:52.290 --> 0:00:56.530 there's something about female friendship that just like kills my 0:00:56.650 --> 0:01:00.170 heart dead, Like it's just so special, and you know, 0:01:00.250 --> 0:01:04.570 the relatability of everything. And I'd say, actually, soul sisters. 0:01:04.730 --> 0:01:07.850 The best thing about a girlfriend. They're there through everything, 0:01:08.250 --> 0:01:11.130 the good times and the bad, all the hurt and 0:01:11.170 --> 0:01:15.450 the harps, unless, of course they're the one who caused them. 0:01:15.850 --> 0:01:17.770 The last thing that I ever said to her was 0:01:18.690 --> 0:01:21.410 I know that you believe in karma. She just went 0:01:21.530 --> 0:01:24.210 really silent, and then she hung up with me, and 0:01:24.210 --> 0:01:24.610 that was that. 0:01:34.610 --> 0:01:37.570 I'm Georgia Love and this is everyone has an ex 0:01:37.770 --> 0:01:40.050 Come with me as we dive into a collection of 0:01:40.250 --> 0:01:44.690 unconventional stories about relationships past through the eyes and the 0:01:44.690 --> 0:01:48.170 hearts of the very people who lived them. Today, I'm 0:01:48.210 --> 0:01:52.050 taking you back to nineteen ninety seven, the year Princess 0:01:52.130 --> 0:01:55.370 Diana died, the very first Harry Potter book was published, 0:01:55.450 --> 0:01:59.610 and Titanic happened the movie, not the sinking, and well 0:01:59.650 --> 0:02:03.410 before Facebook, Instagram or any of the dating apps existed. 0:02:03.810 --> 0:02:06.890 So when Lucy met Tony, it was well and truly 0:02:07.010 --> 0:02:08.250 in the old fashioned way. 0:02:08.530 --> 0:02:10.450 I grew up in the far North Coast but moved 0:02:10.450 --> 0:02:13.330 down south to get an apprenticeship as a chef. All 0:02:13.330 --> 0:02:15.450 I wanted to do is travel, So I thought, if 0:02:15.450 --> 0:02:18.410 I can be a chef, I can use that to travel. 0:02:18.690 --> 0:02:21.090 And so yeah, I got myself an apprenticeship and every 0:02:21.130 --> 0:02:23.410 Friday night him and his mates would come in for dinner, 0:02:23.970 --> 0:02:26.610 and eventually we just started chatting and then one night 0:02:26.690 --> 0:02:31.250 we went out for drinks. He was like so hot 0:02:31.330 --> 0:02:34.290 and so funny and witty, and he just was like 0:02:34.410 --> 0:02:37.530 unlike anyone I'd ever met before, and the feeling was 0:02:37.650 --> 0:02:40.250 like very mutual. He was a year older than me, 0:02:40.610 --> 0:02:42.610 but he was also an apprenticeship, so we kind of 0:02:42.690 --> 0:02:47.170 clicked over that and talked about chefing and stuff and yeah, 0:02:47.210 --> 0:02:49.450 and that night we just went out and just it 0:02:49.530 --> 0:02:52.370 was just on. It was really cool, just like that 0:02:52.810 --> 0:02:55.730 he was like, um, like any man I'd ever met before. 0:02:55.810 --> 0:02:59.930 He was just we would talk light and dark, deep, 0:03:00.290 --> 0:03:02.930 and you know, he was really funny and witty, and 0:03:03.650 --> 0:03:06.170 we'd white stay up and watch Q and A. And 0:03:06.810 --> 0:03:09.690 it felt like a really mature relationship to me, and 0:03:09.930 --> 0:03:13.050 that is what grabbed me. But he could also be 0:03:13.370 --> 0:03:15.570 a massive dicker like me, and we could take the 0:03:15.570 --> 0:03:17.730 piss out of each other and it was just a 0:03:17.810 --> 0:03:22.010 really fun It was just exciting. It really excited me 0:03:22.050 --> 0:03:24.690 being with him. We'd only been together for like six 0:03:24.730 --> 0:03:27.330 months and we just started to move in and it 0:03:27.410 --> 0:03:29.770 was perfect. We had this little home. We were like 0:03:29.810 --> 0:03:33.410 all set up. My parents loved him, his parents loved me. 0:03:34.610 --> 0:03:36.970 It was cool. He was like, obviously the first man 0:03:37.010 --> 0:03:41.890 I'd ever lived with. So he was very domesticated, which 0:03:41.890 --> 0:03:43.690 I was really impressed with. He would always put the 0:03:43.690 --> 0:03:47.250 toilet seat down, like what, just little things like that. 0:03:47.370 --> 0:03:52.010 I just thought he's emotionally mature, and that's for me, 0:03:52.170 --> 0:03:55.730 was a big thing. Yeah, he was just yeah, really, 0:03:56.850 --> 0:03:59.250 it was a really cool guy. It was a really 0:03:59.290 --> 0:04:03.090 beautiful little love that we had. After about six months 0:04:03.090 --> 0:04:05.890 of living together, I started getting restless at the restaurant 0:04:05.930 --> 0:04:08.650 that I was at, so I applied for a role 0:04:09.570 --> 0:04:12.610 in the city that was closest to us, and it 0:04:12.690 --> 0:04:15.450 was like the top restaurant at the time, and I 0:04:15.490 --> 0:04:18.290 got the job. So we moved into the city and 0:04:19.490 --> 0:04:23.810 started a new life. For me, it was a dream 0:04:23.850 --> 0:04:27.490 come true. Like I was just a small country girl 0:04:28.050 --> 0:04:31.570 who had big dreams and I went for the big 0:04:31.610 --> 0:04:34.810 one and I got it. And yeah, he was super supportive, 0:04:34.970 --> 0:04:38.530 but he didn't want the relationship to suffer or to 0:04:38.610 --> 0:04:42.770 lose the relationship, so he kind of followed me in 0:04:43.050 --> 0:04:46.490 and yeah, he ended up getting a job at another 0:04:46.570 --> 0:04:49.970 top hotel, and so yeah, we were kind of like 0:04:50.130 --> 0:04:54.210 just cruising this insane wave. It was like, yeah, I 0:04:54.370 --> 0:04:57.450 was so young and our dreams were so big, but 0:04:57.490 --> 0:05:01.730 nothing could stop us. And it's just really good times. 0:05:02.650 --> 0:05:06.450 And they really were good times. Anyone who's worked in hospitality, 0:05:06.530 --> 0:05:08.690 particularly in their early twenties, well know. 0:05:09.410 --> 0:05:13.090 You start working like say two two thirty and then 0:05:13.210 --> 0:05:16.290 finish up service, clean up the kitchen, and by ten 0:05:16.330 --> 0:05:20.290 ten thirty you ready to go, and there's nothing to 0:05:20.330 --> 0:05:23.130 do at that time and you are wide awake, your 0:05:23.130 --> 0:05:26.770 buzz from like the adrenaline of a bus service, and 0:05:26.810 --> 0:05:30.730 so realistically, the only thing to do as a group 0:05:30.770 --> 0:05:32.490 of people who will all work together is to go 0:05:32.570 --> 0:05:36.210 to a pub or a bar and you start doing 0:05:36.250 --> 0:05:40.250 that and then that just becomes the norm, and then 0:05:40.290 --> 0:05:42.130 you don't start again till two o'clock the next day. 0:05:42.210 --> 0:05:44.490 So going to bed early is not a problem. You're 0:05:44.570 --> 0:05:48.690 just like, yeah, let's keep going, let's whatever. And yeah, 0:05:48.970 --> 0:05:53.370 you formed some really great relationships, really great friendships. We 0:05:53.490 --> 0:05:57.810 both made new friends, and we got to a stage 0:05:57.810 --> 0:05:59.730 where we were so comfortable with each other and so 0:05:59.970 --> 0:06:03.090 happy with each other that we didn't really need to 0:06:04.370 --> 0:06:07.730 look outwards, if that makes sense. We were just kind 0:06:07.770 --> 0:06:12.890 of cozy in our home and our bond and all 0:06:12.890 --> 0:06:15.570 the other noise around was just that it was just noise. 0:06:15.610 --> 0:06:20.290 We didn't kind of if that makes sense, Like, I yeah, 0:06:20.330 --> 0:06:22.490 you know, like there was a lot of with all 0:06:22.530 --> 0:06:25.210 the partying and stuff, there was a lot of gossip. 0:06:25.250 --> 0:06:28.210 I guess you could say. That would go around and 0:06:29.250 --> 0:06:31.330 we would just laugh at it and get back to 0:06:31.370 --> 0:06:33.930 our own thing. You know. People would describe us as 0:06:33.970 --> 0:06:38.970 tight and probably unstoppable. I would say, just very in love, 0:06:39.530 --> 0:06:43.170 you know, really in love with each other, and yeah, happy. 0:06:43.370 --> 0:06:46.210 We were just so happy. It was just so exciting, 0:06:46.330 --> 0:06:49.130 and we both would meet up after work, we talk 0:06:49.170 --> 0:06:51.730 about service, and then all of our friends would come 0:06:51.770 --> 0:06:55.170 and then it would just get rowdy, and but I 0:06:55.210 --> 0:06:57.570 would always look over and he would always be watching, 0:06:58.050 --> 0:07:01.490 not a stalker, but just lovingly like you know, and 0:07:02.010 --> 0:07:05.330 vice versa. It was like everyone knew that we were 0:07:05.410 --> 0:07:08.090 in love. And he worked at this one and I 0:07:08.130 --> 0:07:11.810 worked at that one, and just yeah, it was it 0:07:11.850 --> 0:07:15.330 was just so cool, like, you know, it was a 0:07:15.370 --> 0:07:17.210 life that I didn't actually dream that I would have, 0:07:17.810 --> 0:07:19.770 and here it was. You know, it was a lot 0:07:19.770 --> 0:07:22.490 of fun. There was a group of us. There was 0:07:22.530 --> 0:07:25.730 probably like up to ten people, and a lot of 0:07:25.730 --> 0:07:28.170 them I'm still friends with. There was one girl, Holly, 0:07:28.250 --> 0:07:32.290 and she was she was so vibrant and she was, 0:07:32.690 --> 0:07:35.250 I would say, a people magnet. So she was always 0:07:35.290 --> 0:07:37.170 on the scene. And it wasn't even if she wasn't 0:07:37.170 --> 0:07:39.210 with us, she was with another group of hospay people, 0:07:39.930 --> 0:07:42.770 but she was always around and she was always hooking 0:07:42.850 --> 0:07:46.050 up with different dudes. It was this confidence that she exuded. 0:07:46.770 --> 0:07:49.290 But I was like, she's cool, Like I want to 0:07:49.330 --> 0:07:51.930 hang around her. And she was a lot of fun. 0:07:52.730 --> 0:07:55.450 She actually got an apprenticeship at the same restaurant, the 0:07:55.770 --> 0:08:00.370 Shiny One that I was working at, and we just 0:08:00.690 --> 0:08:05.410 clicked from day one. She brought this warmth about her. 0:08:06.210 --> 0:08:10.370 She was very, very confident, very beautiful, but not in 0:08:10.410 --> 0:08:14.930 an obvious way. She yeah. So we just started hanging out, 0:08:14.970 --> 0:08:19.850 and then over time we just became best mates. I'd say, 0:08:19.850 --> 0:08:24.050 actually saw sisters, and you know, my family were obsessed 0:08:24.090 --> 0:08:28.370 with her, and it was like I'd never really had 0:08:28.370 --> 0:08:32.530 a girlfriend like that before. And there's something about female 0:08:32.530 --> 0:08:36.450 friendship that just kills my heart dead, like it's just 0:08:36.490 --> 0:08:40.290 so special, and you know, the relatability of everything, and 0:08:41.170 --> 0:08:43.250 we just take the piss out of each other all 0:08:43.290 --> 0:08:46.250 the time, and it was okay. It was just fun 0:08:46.370 --> 0:08:50.890 and banterish, and she very quickly became one of my 0:08:50.930 --> 0:08:54.650 best mates. She introduced me to so many other people. 0:08:55.610 --> 0:08:58.530 She was from there, so she would take me horse 0:08:58.610 --> 0:09:03.130 riding and would just show me new beaches and it 0:09:03.210 --> 0:09:05.890 was like we're the little girls that had found each 0:09:05.930 --> 0:09:11.490 other and we were playful and fun, just so much fun. 0:09:12.250 --> 0:09:14.090 Like I just loved being around her. She had the 0:09:14.130 --> 0:09:17.530 personality that everyone just wanted to be around her. The 0:09:17.570 --> 0:09:20.410 amount of times that we would be just close to 0:09:20.450 --> 0:09:23.610 on the floor laughing, you know, just that joy, that 0:09:23.650 --> 0:09:26.810 real joy. I think That's what got me the most 0:09:27.050 --> 0:09:29.770 was the joy that she brought to me. All three 0:09:29.770 --> 0:09:32.050 of us were like peas in the pot, same sense 0:09:32.090 --> 0:09:41.010 of humor, same kind of outgoing nature. We loved anything active, snowboarding, bodyboarding, bodysurfing, riding, 0:09:41.050 --> 0:09:44.930 pushes around the beach, skateboarding, like you name it, we 0:09:44.930 --> 0:09:48.130 would into it. And the three of us did have 0:09:48.210 --> 0:09:52.490 a lot of fun together. And mainly it was Tony 0:09:53.450 --> 0:09:55.930 not mocking, but you know, taking the piss out of 0:09:55.970 --> 0:09:58.290 her for all the dudes that she would sleep with. 0:09:59.090 --> 0:10:01.250 She had a bit of a routine, I would say, 0:10:01.890 --> 0:10:05.410 where she would massage guys with her own massage oil 0:10:06.290 --> 0:10:09.330 and if she had that in a bag, you knew 0:10:09.370 --> 0:10:11.410 it was on. So, yeah, the three of us were 0:10:11.490 --> 0:10:14.850 just really good mates. He definitely was the third Whell. 0:10:15.690 --> 0:10:19.330 Lucy and Tony and now Holly just had the best life. 0:10:19.650 --> 0:10:22.410 But after a few years, bigger and better jobs in 0:10:22.450 --> 0:10:24.450 bigger and better cities came calling. 0:10:24.810 --> 0:10:26.970 We'd actually moved to Sydney and we both started in 0:10:27.530 --> 0:10:32.890 even better restaurants, and again we'd found a crew down 0:10:32.930 --> 0:10:36.650 here that was fun and everything. But the whole thing 0:10:36.730 --> 0:10:40.170 was that both Tony and I wanted to travel and 0:10:40.210 --> 0:10:42.290 he wanted to go to Canada for the snowboarding and 0:10:42.330 --> 0:10:46.970 I was like, cool, I'm in. So we left our 0:10:47.050 --> 0:10:48.890 little life and packed it all up and put into 0:10:48.930 --> 0:10:54.890 a storage container and spent the first three months. We 0:10:54.930 --> 0:10:59.330 flew into the East coast, bought a three point fifty 0:10:59.410 --> 0:11:05.810 gmc hotted up car, and we drove from Toronto up 0:11:05.890 --> 0:11:10.930 to Montreal and then across the coast to Whistler. I 0:11:10.970 --> 0:11:13.730 remember when we were on the plane and we like 0:11:13.930 --> 0:11:16.570 looked at each other and we had the biggest grins 0:11:16.570 --> 0:11:19.130 on our face, like we are actually doing this, Like 0:11:19.170 --> 0:11:23.250 we talked about it for so long, and we were 0:11:23.370 --> 0:11:26.130 just like stoked to little kids, you know, just like 0:11:26.410 --> 0:11:31.370 ah shit, we're here. We made a really tight group 0:11:31.450 --> 0:11:35.010 of friends over there, another couple, and these were all 0:11:35.010 --> 0:11:36.610 in the same restaurant that we worked at, the same 0:11:36.650 --> 0:11:39.730 restaurant together. There was about twelve of us and we 0:11:39.770 --> 0:11:45.170 would yeah, just go snowboarding every day and cooking and 0:11:45.210 --> 0:11:49.770 then partying, and then it was just on repeat. 0:11:50.290 --> 0:11:53.450 Lucy and Tony did the whole travel, work party thing 0:11:53.570 --> 0:11:56.570 for a year and loved every minute, but it was 0:11:56.650 --> 0:11:57.890 never going to be forever. 0:11:58.570 --> 0:12:03.850 My older sister announced that she was pregnant and I 0:12:04.090 --> 0:12:06.770 very tight with my family and I didn't want to 0:12:06.770 --> 0:12:10.970 miss the birth. He really wanted to stay, He really 0:12:11.050 --> 0:12:14.170 wanted to go down through the States into Mexico, but 0:12:14.290 --> 0:12:17.210 I was just I just wanted to be home. You know, 0:12:17.210 --> 0:12:19.490 it had been a year, and like I said, I 0:12:19.930 --> 0:12:22.730 did not want to miss the birth. And yeah, so 0:12:22.810 --> 0:12:26.290 we moved back to the city that we met in 0:12:26.690 --> 0:12:32.170 or first lived in, and basically caught up with all 0:12:32.210 --> 0:12:37.010 of our old friends and resumed life as it was 0:12:37.450 --> 0:12:43.290 pre Canada. I took over a restaurant in the original 0:12:43.290 --> 0:12:48.450 town that we were at, and over time he eventually 0:12:48.490 --> 0:12:52.450 became my soux chef, so second in charge, and then 0:12:52.730 --> 0:12:56.770 after a little while, Holly became my line chef, one 0:12:56.850 --> 0:12:59.570 of my line chefs, and so the three of us 0:12:59.610 --> 0:13:02.530 were just back on dick as thieves. She'd been out 0:13:02.530 --> 0:13:06.090 of town, so she'd come back and we just reformed 0:13:06.090 --> 0:13:09.530 that connection we'd had years ago, and man, we just 0:13:09.770 --> 0:13:12.450 started having fun again and it was all great, but 0:13:12.530 --> 0:13:13.250 it wasn't. 0:13:13.090 --> 0:13:14.170 Exactly the same. 0:13:14.530 --> 0:13:18.050 There was distinct shift in his attitude. I don't think 0:13:18.050 --> 0:13:20.770 he wanted to be back where we were, but he didn't. 0:13:21.290 --> 0:13:24.130 He wasn't vocal about it. There was a bit of 0:13:24.130 --> 0:13:27.890 a spark gone. And I do think we had worked 0:13:27.930 --> 0:13:29.890 so hard to prove it to ourselves that we could 0:13:29.970 --> 0:13:34.370 get over there, and we did it. And I think 0:13:34.930 --> 0:13:40.010 he just wanted to keep traveling and I did too. 0:13:40.250 --> 0:13:43.330 But again I was like, we've got a baby coming, 0:13:43.610 --> 0:13:50.850 like this is huge, And yeah, he just wasn't hisself. 0:13:51.330 --> 0:13:53.810 It's hard to explain. He was just very he was 0:13:53.810 --> 0:13:57.130 a bit more drawn back. He retreated to the pubs 0:13:57.170 --> 0:14:00.770 to play the pokeis a lot, which was really concerning 0:14:00.770 --> 0:14:04.330 for me. But I couldn't control it. I couldn't control him. 0:14:04.730 --> 0:14:07.290 They'd been together for five years at this point, and 0:14:07.330 --> 0:14:09.330 there was one big thing on Lucy's mind. 0:14:10.130 --> 0:14:13.690 When we were first together, we'd always talked about having kids, 0:14:14.410 --> 0:14:17.570 and he was always open to the idea of it. 0:14:18.610 --> 0:14:20.530 But we were so young and we had other plans 0:14:20.610 --> 0:14:23.450 to do, you know, we had other travels and adventures 0:14:23.490 --> 0:14:27.930 to experience. But then over the course of when we 0:14:27.970 --> 0:14:32.370 got back from Canada, it was a distinct shift in 0:14:33.570 --> 0:14:35.930 what he wanted said he didn't want to bring kids 0:14:35.930 --> 0:14:40.530 into this world. I think maybe I pushed too hard. 0:14:41.850 --> 0:14:44.370 I thought that if we just traveled some more, we 0:14:44.370 --> 0:14:47.210 were still so young. If we traveled some more and 0:14:48.570 --> 0:14:50.810 kind of got that travel bug out of his system, 0:14:51.050 --> 0:14:55.690 maybe that would suffice. And I truly believed that it 0:14:55.730 --> 0:14:58.610 was all going to be okay and that we were 0:14:58.610 --> 0:15:02.370 going to stay together and make that family and have 0:15:02.450 --> 0:15:05.690 that life by the house, you know, the whole dream 0:15:05.810 --> 0:15:09.250 that you know a lot of women want. And I thought, 0:15:09.290 --> 0:15:10.610 I think to myself, well, what am I going to 0:15:10.690 --> 0:15:14.570 do with my life? There was definitely an undercurrent within 0:15:14.690 --> 0:15:19.050 me that was swelling through me that I wanted to 0:15:19.170 --> 0:15:22.850 travel by myself before I had a baby. And yeah, 0:15:22.850 --> 0:15:25.450 I knew I wouldn't forgive myself if I didn't do it. 0:15:25.850 --> 0:15:28.210 So that's when I kind of patched this idea to 0:15:29.610 --> 0:15:31.410 do a little bit of around the world by myself 0:15:31.450 --> 0:15:35.010 and then meet Tony over there after three months in 0:15:35.050 --> 0:15:40.810 the UK. So I planned a trip to Mexico by myself. 0:15:41.370 --> 0:15:46.410 Three months Mexico, Central America, New York, London. It was 0:15:46.450 --> 0:15:48.130 decided that he would come and meet me in London. 0:15:48.370 --> 0:15:50.370 We get our work visas we do to use there 0:15:51.170 --> 0:15:55.610 take it from there. I always wanted to do some 0:15:55.690 --> 0:15:58.770 kind of travel by myself, and I just I knew 0:15:58.770 --> 0:16:01.490 that if I didn't get out of my system. I 0:16:01.530 --> 0:16:05.090 would never forgive myself. It was just an important thing 0:16:05.130 --> 0:16:12.090 for me to do. So what happened is he became 0:16:12.130 --> 0:16:16.530 the head chef and Holly became his soux chef, and 0:16:18.210 --> 0:16:22.210 we all thought that was an awesome plan, just because 0:16:22.210 --> 0:16:24.690 they worked so well together and she knew what she 0:16:24.810 --> 0:16:28.450 was doing and I could trust, you know that they'd 0:16:28.450 --> 0:16:31.370 be fine. We'd been together about seven and a half 0:16:31.450 --> 0:16:34.930 years at this point, and I was really worried about 0:16:34.930 --> 0:16:38.770 how he was going to be because he'd never really 0:16:38.810 --> 0:16:44.970 been alone. I said to her, please look after Tony 0:16:45.010 --> 0:16:47.850 because I'm really worried about him, and she was like, 0:16:47.890 --> 0:16:50.330 of course, of course, and then you know, we gave 0:16:50.330 --> 0:16:53.210 our hugs and it was a hard goodbye because I 0:16:53.250 --> 0:16:54.970 wasn't sure when I was going to see her again. 0:16:55.650 --> 0:16:59.330 So off she went. But it didn't start out exactly 0:16:59.410 --> 0:16:59.970 as planned. 0:17:01.050 --> 0:17:05.970 I flew into Mexico City and I went to Wahaka, 0:17:06.010 --> 0:17:11.210 which is silver jewelry town, beautiful, beautiful, and then went 0:17:11.250 --> 0:17:14.170 down to Porco and then from there I made my 0:17:14.250 --> 0:17:17.210 way down to Porto Escondido, which is a little surfing village. 0:17:18.010 --> 0:17:23.530 So it was mainly surfers, backpackers and locals and I 0:17:23.570 --> 0:17:27.570 stayed in this hostel anyway. It was my third night there. 0:17:27.570 --> 0:17:31.170 It was a Saturday night and there was a group 0:17:31.210 --> 0:17:35.690 of English backpackers, the lads, and they wanted me to 0:17:35.690 --> 0:17:39.090 go and watch the football and then the girls are like, yeah, 0:17:39.130 --> 0:17:43.450 come on party, and I don't know what came over 0:17:43.570 --> 0:17:46.130 me or what had happened. I was like, no, I'm 0:17:46.170 --> 0:17:48.130 just going to go to bed, which is not me. 0:17:49.130 --> 0:17:53.050 So at seven point thirty on a Saturday night, I 0:17:53.130 --> 0:17:56.250 went to bed. I woke up the next morning and 0:17:56.330 --> 0:17:59.530 lent over to get my phone and I couldn't feel 0:17:59.570 --> 0:18:02.170 anything on my bedside table and I was like, what 0:18:02.290 --> 0:18:06.210 is going on? And I like opened my eyes and 0:18:06.250 --> 0:18:08.490 it was empty. And then I looked under my bed 0:18:08.530 --> 0:18:11.610 when my backpack was and every single thing that I've 0:18:11.690 --> 0:18:16.610 when overseas with was gone. I was surprisingly calm. I 0:18:16.770 --> 0:18:19.290 fell on my mom's birthday back in Australia, so I 0:18:19.290 --> 0:18:20.810 was like, I can't call home. I don't want to 0:18:20.850 --> 0:18:24.530 ruin her day. So Doris gave me five hundred paces, 0:18:25.010 --> 0:18:27.290 the boys gave me beers, and the girls gave me 0:18:27.330 --> 0:18:30.530 some clothes. Obviously, I phoned Tony and he was like, 0:18:30.530 --> 0:18:33.570 you've got to come home, like that's crazy, and I'm like, look, 0:18:34.570 --> 0:18:38.530 no one hurt me, it's just stuff. And I don't 0:18:38.570 --> 0:18:41.490 want to ruin this trip because of one bad incident, 0:18:41.610 --> 0:18:43.850 you know. So yeah, I left it a couple of 0:18:43.890 --> 0:18:49.730 days and then called the parents get home now. I's like, no, 0:18:49.770 --> 0:18:52.890 I'm not gonna you know, same thing with Tony. It's fine. 0:18:53.530 --> 0:18:56.650 So I jumped on a bus back to Mexico City 0:18:57.050 --> 0:19:01.930 with not a shred of IDA on me. They issued 0:19:01.970 --> 0:19:06.410 me an emergency passport and I stayed in Porto for 0:19:07.170 --> 0:19:10.210 I think close to four weeks, just because I had 0:19:10.250 --> 0:19:14.090 to order stuff, you know, backpack, you know, clothes, everything. 0:19:15.010 --> 0:19:16.850 And then when I was there, I met this girl 0:19:16.930 --> 0:19:19.930 and we became really really good mates, and she ended 0:19:20.010 --> 0:19:23.770 up coming with me down through Honduras and down to 0:19:23.810 --> 0:19:29.090 Costa Rica. And then the whole time though I was yearning, 0:19:29.690 --> 0:19:33.970 really yearning Tony, and so I decided to skip New 0:19:34.050 --> 0:19:38.530 York and go straight to London so that could like 0:19:38.770 --> 0:19:41.970 speed up the time that he would get there. And 0:19:42.130 --> 0:19:46.810 over the time that I was in Central America, I 0:19:46.890 --> 0:19:51.250 recall like a distinct pulling back almost not as many emails, 0:19:51.370 --> 0:19:56.330 not as many, and I put it down to him 0:19:56.450 --> 0:19:59.130 just kind of trying to get on with his life 0:19:59.210 --> 0:20:02.450 and stop because he would always tell me how much 0:20:02.490 --> 0:20:04.690 he'd miss me and stuff. I got the job in 0:20:04.770 --> 0:20:08.730 a bar, and I met beautiful people and we had, 0:20:08.930 --> 0:20:11.850 you know, a lot of fun, but I just wanted 0:20:11.890 --> 0:20:15.730 to be home with him, or him with me over here. 0:20:17.090 --> 0:20:19.130 And one day I said, look, I think I'm just 0:20:19.130 --> 0:20:21.490 going to come back and surprise you one day. And 0:20:21.490 --> 0:20:23.210 he was like, don't do that. You know, I don't 0:20:23.250 --> 0:20:27.610 like surprises. Do not do that. And I said, look, 0:20:28.010 --> 0:20:29.770 why aren't you excited about this. He's like, I can't 0:20:29.810 --> 0:20:31.050 afford it. 0:20:31.050 --> 0:20:32.850 It meaning coming to London. 0:20:34.730 --> 0:20:37.170 It was just before Christmas, and I was like, I 0:20:37.170 --> 0:20:41.130 can't do this anymore. I'd been a way around five months. 0:20:41.410 --> 0:20:43.890 I was just missing him too much and I had 0:20:43.890 --> 0:20:46.130 to go home and see him. So I jumped on 0:20:46.170 --> 0:20:50.250 a plane and away I went. Yeah. So I remember 0:20:50.410 --> 0:20:55.130 rocking up to our old flat and he opened the 0:20:55.130 --> 0:21:00.290 door and he pulled me in and pushed me against 0:21:00.330 --> 0:21:02.250 the wall in a way that he'd never done before, 0:21:02.930 --> 0:21:05.650 like to hug me. And he just hugged me and 0:21:05.690 --> 0:21:10.090 sobbed and sobbed and sobbed, and I've missed you so much. 0:21:11.010 --> 0:21:14.050 I can't really remember much more about that except to 0:21:14.050 --> 0:21:19.330 say that it was a weird hello for us. Anyway, 0:21:19.650 --> 0:21:22.770 went into the lund room and his mattress was on 0:21:22.810 --> 0:21:26.770 the floor out there, and I was like what He's like, Oh, 0:21:26.770 --> 0:21:29.210 I've just been watching TV out here. It's just easier. 0:21:30.610 --> 0:21:34.250 And the place looked it was just a mess, and 0:21:34.290 --> 0:21:38.330 I'm like, what is going on? Like just all the 0:21:38.410 --> 0:21:43.330 pieces of the puzzle just weren't fitting. And so he 0:21:43.370 --> 0:21:46.530 wouldn't kiss me, definitely was not going to have sex 0:21:46.570 --> 0:21:49.090 with me. He just wanted to talk about my trip 0:21:49.210 --> 0:21:54.370 the whole time, and I just was like, I don't understand. 0:21:54.490 --> 0:21:58.850 Like in my mind, I was like it was like 0:21:58.890 --> 0:22:00.930 there was a ghost in the house and he was 0:22:00.930 --> 0:22:03.730 the ghost, Like he was just a shell of himself. 0:22:03.770 --> 0:22:10.130 And I didn't I didn't know how to even approach 0:22:10.210 --> 0:22:13.370 it because he was just so down. And so we 0:22:13.490 --> 0:22:17.010 lasted like that for two days, and then one day 0:22:17.010 --> 0:22:20.570 I went into the bathroom to find a find some 0:22:20.570 --> 0:22:24.250 moisturizing cream and I opened up the bathroom cabinet and 0:22:26.050 --> 0:22:31.290 it was like my head rolled off my body and 0:22:32.010 --> 0:22:36.610 I was blind, like it was like being bludgeoned. And 0:22:36.650 --> 0:22:46.650 I saw one of Holly's massage oils. So I picked 0:22:46.650 --> 0:22:49.690 it up really calmly, which for me at that time 0:22:49.850 --> 0:22:54.210 was not a thing. And I walked out and I said, 0:22:55.210 --> 0:22:59.530 you've been fucking holy haven't you? And he just burst 0:22:59.530 --> 0:23:05.090 out crying and he's like, yeah, yeah, I have. I 0:23:05.130 --> 0:23:09.970 knew straightaway there was no other scenario that that would 0:23:09.970 --> 0:23:13.730 be in that shelf, you know, there was just no reason, 0:23:14.530 --> 0:23:16.530 and I just knew. And then I'm like, oh, that's 0:23:16.530 --> 0:23:19.050 why the mattress is out there. He doesn't want it 0:23:19.050 --> 0:23:21.610 in the bedroom. That's why you won't kiss me. That's 0:23:21.610 --> 0:23:23.770 why I went up sex with me. It was all 0:23:23.930 --> 0:23:29.610 very like, oh, it's like the dominoes just crashing. I 0:23:29.650 --> 0:23:32.850 said to him, had this been going on before I left? 0:23:33.650 --> 0:23:37.850 And he swears no, but really only they would know. 0:23:38.490 --> 0:23:43.810 I don't know. I'll never know, but it's really doesn't matter. 0:23:43.850 --> 0:23:46.690 It happened. And for two days it was back and forth, 0:23:46.770 --> 0:23:50.370 me trying to understand what had happened and how and 0:23:50.370 --> 0:23:52.650 when and why, And you know, when you're in it, 0:23:52.690 --> 0:23:56.050 you want all those details, which are very bad for you, 0:23:56.610 --> 0:23:59.010 but you just want to know as much as you can. 0:23:59.490 --> 0:24:01.130 And it just got to the end of the two 0:24:01.210 --> 0:24:03.850 days and he just said, look, we're going to be together, 0:24:04.570 --> 0:24:07.250 and I'm going to move to NUSA, And that's kind 0:24:07.290 --> 0:24:11.490 of it. She had moved to NUSA because she found 0:24:11.490 --> 0:24:14.450 out that I was coming home. Yeah, so I didn't 0:24:14.530 --> 0:24:19.530 know that until I got home, and she'd changed her number, 0:24:20.490 --> 0:24:22.730 so she was well aware that there was going to 0:24:22.810 --> 0:24:28.970 be a very upset person coming back to Australia. So 0:24:29.170 --> 0:24:33.410 I basically begged Tony to give me the number and 0:24:33.450 --> 0:24:36.610 I said, I just I just need some form of closure. 0:24:36.610 --> 0:24:40.610 I just need to speak to her. And so I 0:24:40.690 --> 0:24:46.090