WEBVTT - "The Doctors Said I Couldn't Fall Pregnant... I've Since Had Two Babies"

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<v Speaker 1>We acknowledged the traditional custodians of the land we're recording

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<v Speaker 1>on today.

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<v Speaker 2>I saw two or three pediatricians and that was a

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<v Speaker 2>good five hundred dollars a pop. I saw multiple gps.

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<v Speaker 2>I saw the community nurses, and everyone just told me

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<v Speaker 2>babies cry. We just sat in this bit of misery.

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<v Speaker 1>Hello, and welcome back to Eat, Sleep, Shit, Repeat, your

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<v Speaker 1>wildly unhinged podcast about the madness that is motherhood and

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<v Speaker 1>everything in between. I'm Kelly McCarron and I'm writing solo today. Ha ha.

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<v Speaker 1>He is in Newborn Territory. She's cluster feeding and it's

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<v Speaker 1>her full time job. So I have three ran over

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<v Speaker 1>the pod. But don't you worry. I'm not doing a

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<v Speaker 1>part two about ghosts. I've dragged my sister into the

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<v Speaker 1>studio to farm her for content and share her for

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<v Speaker 1>Ray Interparenting, which is a pretty wild story about the

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<v Speaker 1>dog and the puff aka my niece and nephew and

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<v Speaker 1>how they came to be. Em and I are strowingly

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<v Speaker 1>different people. She has a very sensible job in insurance.

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<v Speaker 1>She's very organized, like she you know, puts the toys

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<v Speaker 1>away and such, and basically she's in charge of the

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<v Speaker 1>chaos that is my life. Despite being the younger out

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<v Speaker 1>of us, we do both have the exact same wicked

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<v Speaker 1>sense of humor. She is a very funny person and

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<v Speaker 1>my favorite person to hang out with, and although when

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<v Speaker 1>we do have the occasional fight it is a grade

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<v Speaker 1>ay blow up, we generally get along very well and

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<v Speaker 1>have the sort of relationship you imagine or want other

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<v Speaker 1>people to have, because there's nothing quite like it. She

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<v Speaker 1>also lives just ten minutes away from me, which is

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<v Speaker 1>very handy and pretty much the only reason I live

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<v Speaker 1>in Sydney at this point. So welcome emy. All right,

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<v Speaker 1>So m it's just a bit of a tail. So

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<v Speaker 1>first of all, we need to get into you deciding

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<v Speaker 1>to have children, your dodgy genes IVF. Talk about that.

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<v Speaker 2>My journey into her wanting children. I've always wanted children.

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<v Speaker 2>I was that person growing up who would steal everyone's babies.

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<v Speaker 2>I was so so excited to be a mum. I

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<v Speaker 2>don't know how many of you know this, but Kell

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<v Speaker 2>and I, our mum was diagnosed with ovarian and uterine

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<v Speaker 2>cancer probably about ten eleven years ago now. She had

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<v Speaker 2>some genetic testing done, so my sister, brother and I

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<v Speaker 2>all had the same kind of testing, and it turns

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<v Speaker 2>out we actually have a genetic predisposition to some different

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<v Speaker 2>kinds of cancer.

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<v Speaker 1>Beg your pardon you and brother Sam do. I was

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<v Speaker 1>the chosen one without the gene.

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<v Speaker 2>And Kelly now lives with survivors guilt. What it meant

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<v Speaker 2>for Adrian and I when it came to having kids

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<v Speaker 2>is that we wanted to try IVF because we wanted

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<v Speaker 2>to try to take the gene out of our family

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<v Speaker 2>line with the genetic condition, but there's a fifty percent

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<v Speaker 2>chance of us passing it on to another child, so

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<v Speaker 2>it's quite a high percentage. So Adrian and I decided

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<v Speaker 2>to start doing IVF in twenty nineteen. We saved up

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<v Speaker 2>all the money and I was so naive. I went

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<v Speaker 2>in and I just thought it would work. There was

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<v Speaker 2>no perceived notion for me that it wouldn't.

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<v Speaker 1>She also told not one person that she was going

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<v Speaker 1>through it, including myself, Like, not one person knew that

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<v Speaker 1>she was doing IVF or going through IVF, which anyone

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<v Speaker 1>that's gone through IVF or knows someone that's gone through IVF.

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<v Speaker 1>It's not like just oh, I'm doing this. It's not

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<v Speaker 1>just like taking a medicine. And then going in to

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<v Speaker 1>get inseminated.

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<v Speaker 2>No, we didn't tell anyone. So we did it the

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<v Speaker 2>same year Kel was getting married, and Kell had waited

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<v Speaker 2>a long time to get married, And even though the

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<v Speaker 2>firefest was the firefest that it was, we didn't want

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<v Speaker 2>to take away from that. And also I had this

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<v Speaker 2>idealistic notion that I would surprise everyone on Christmas and

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<v Speaker 2>tell everyone I was pregnant. So we started IVF, got

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<v Speaker 2>the medication, started our cycle. Everything was going along just fine,

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<v Speaker 2>as it usually does. Side effects were really crappy. I

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<v Speaker 2>was twenty eight when we did this, so I was

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<v Speaker 2>still quite young, and I just thought it would work.

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<v Speaker 2>All the initial testing when you do IVF and all

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<v Speaker 2>the discussions, they constantly prep you for it not working,

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<v Speaker 2>and so you meet with psychologists and all of the

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<v Speaker 2>healthcare team. They're keep preparing for you not to work.

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<v Speaker 2>But I just had it in my head it would

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<v Speaker 2>I had it all planned out, I had my announcement

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<v Speaker 2>to the family. I just thought it would anyway. So

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<v Speaker 2>we go to the day where we get our eggs

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<v Speaker 2>taken out. That was all fine. In the end, I

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<v Speaker 2>think we got about fourteen embryos and then they were

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<v Speaker 2>all fertilized, and then on day one, which is the

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<v Speaker 2>next day after, they called to tell me out of

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<v Speaker 2>all the ones they'd fertilized, only five had progressed, so

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<v Speaker 2>actually started dividing cells. Then I got a call on

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<v Speaker 2>day two and I was told that one of the

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<v Speaker 2>five had not made it to day two. And then

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<v Speaker 2>we waited the next four days until we got the

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<v Speaker 2>final results. And then I found out only one of

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<v Speaker 2>our five initial embryos had progressed and was ready to

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<v Speaker 2>be able to be genetically tested. So it went through

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<v Speaker 2>the genetic testing, which takes a good cup weeks, and

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<v Speaker 2>I still remember the dad I got the phone call.

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<v Speaker 2>I was at work and I got a call from

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<v Speaker 2>the clinic and they told me that the one embryo

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<v Speaker 2>we had had the gene that we were trying to

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<v Speaker 2>eradicate from the line. And with IVF, when you do

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<v Speaker 2>something like that, you actually then don't have the option

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<v Speaker 2>to use that embryo. Just say, if you're looking for

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<v Speaker 2>a gene and we find that gene, that's it, and

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<v Speaker 2>they dispose of it. I don't know another way to

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<v Speaker 2>say that. So we were very very upset about that,

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<v Speaker 2>and I'm sorry if this is a bit of a

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<v Speaker 2>trigger warning for other women who've gone through IVF multiple times,

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<v Speaker 2>because I can't I can't imagine what that's like. I

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<v Speaker 2>only did it once, but it was horrible. When you

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<v Speaker 2>have IVF, you do a follow up meetings with all

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<v Speaker 2>your doctors. So when we had ours, she told me

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<v Speaker 2>that the quality of my eggs was the same as

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<v Speaker 2>someone much older, like someone in their forties. She said

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<v Speaker 2>that they were really fragmented that there was basically no

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<v Speaker 2>chance of us falling pregnant naturally, and then we just

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<v Speaker 2>had to prepare for future rounds and she was going

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<v Speaker 2>to change the medication I was on, and also put

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<v Speaker 2>me on a range of different like vitamins and different

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<v Speaker 2>supplements and things like that, which she said she only

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<v Speaker 2>really uses on people who are older who are going

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<v Speaker 2>through IVF to try to just improve the overall health.

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<v Speaker 2>And she recommended acupuncture and a lot of other stuff.

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<v Speaker 2>So we started to say for our second round, and

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<v Speaker 2>we became quite lax about contraception because we didn't think

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<v Speaker 2>we could fall pregnant, and then Low and Bohole January

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<v Speaker 2>twenty twenty, we found out we were pregnant. I still

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<v Speaker 2>remember that first appointment with the doctor. I could not

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<v Speaker 2>understand how it had happened. So I hadn't gotten my period,

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<v Speaker 2>it was late, so I was like, oh, there's no way.

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<v Speaker 2>But I'd also was feeling a bit sick and whatnot.

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<v Speaker 2>So I went and took a pregnancy test and it

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<v Speaker 2>was positive. I booked in to see a doctor the

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<v Speaker 2>next day because I just could not believe it. The

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<v Speaker 2>doctor was really lovely and he just said for women,

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<v Speaker 2>fertility so much medicalized these days, but often it's not.

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<v Speaker 2>He's like, we can't explain how it happened, but this

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<v Speaker 2>happens all the time, basically. Then we told our family

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<v Speaker 2>probably a week or two later, my pop had passed away,

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<v Speaker 2>and that was very sad. It was my mum's last

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<v Speaker 2>remaining parent and it was she was very upset. So

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<v Speaker 2>it was really nice to be able to give her

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<v Speaker 2>a little bit of excitement and all that because it

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<v Speaker 2>was her first grandchild.

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<v Speaker 1>But by that point Emma had told us all about

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<v Speaker 1>the IVF and that her and Adrian were really going

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<v Speaker 1>to struggle and that sort of thing. So we were

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<v Speaker 1>all like, what did you secretly just do her out?

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<v Speaker 1>Like what?

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<v Speaker 2>Everyone was quite surprised, So will we.

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<v Speaker 1>Then we found out that it happened in the caravan

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<v Speaker 1>at bloody Christmas trime.

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<v Speaker 2>It didn't happen in the caravan, so yeah, So then

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<v Speaker 2>we told everyone we were pregnant. I had a pretty

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<v Speaker 2>normal pregnancy. I still remember. I did some spotting and

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<v Speaker 2>I was actually bleeding through some of my first trimester,

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<v Speaker 2>and that was a big concern for a lot of

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<v Speaker 2>for me more than the doctors, because they, I guess,

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<v Speaker 2>weren't as concerned about it as I was. But I

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<v Speaker 2>was quite worried about it because my embryos that had

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<v Speaker 2>been such poor quality. I thought that it meant that

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<v Speaker 2>I was going to likely miscarry. Thankfully, we got lucky

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<v Speaker 2>and that didn't happen, and everything went pretty well. I

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<v Speaker 2>had a pretty normal pregnancy. Nothing too exciting happened. I

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<v Speaker 2>was high risk because I've had hypertension since I was

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<v Speaker 2>about sixteen years old. I've been through all the medical

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<v Speaker 2>tests and everything. No one knows why. It's just something

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<v Speaker 2>I've always just had to deal with and I've been

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<v Speaker 2>on medication for years. Hypertensions high blood pressure for anyone

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<v Speaker 2>who doesn't know. So while I was pregnant, my blood

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<v Speaker 2>pressure actually got better, which was really strange. So I

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<v Speaker 2>was already in the high care unit at the hospital,

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<v Speaker 2>so I was seeing doctors all the time and they

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<v Speaker 2>were keeping a really class iron me, which was great.

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<v Speaker 2>But I ended up coming completely off on my blood

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<v Speaker 2>pressure medication when I was pregnant with Evelyn, and they

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<v Speaker 2>don't know how or why that happened, but it's like

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<v Speaker 2>my body fixed itself until I went into labor. With Evy.

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<v Speaker 2>I went into labor normally she was breached, so I

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<v Speaker 2>was booked in for a c section at thirty nine

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<v Speaker 2>weeks in a couple of days, and we tried the

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<v Speaker 2>ec be, the manual turning and things like that. None

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<v Speaker 2>of it worked, so they just booked us in.

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<v Speaker 1>We need to find video to insert for socials of

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<v Speaker 1>Nanny trying to coax Evelyn around. I'll find the video

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<v Speaker 1>and pop it on socials so people could see. It

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<v Speaker 1>was so cute our grandma, who were both very close

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<v Speaker 1>to adore where like if she's still with us, she

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<v Speaker 1>does have dementia and doesn't know who we are most

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<v Speaker 1>of the time, but she would like gently caress Emma's

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<v Speaker 1>tummy and like try to massage Eavy around. I don't

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<v Speaker 1>know what she thought she was doing.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it didn't work. She was very comfortable in there.

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<v Speaker 2>She did not move. So I went into labor. Normally,

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<v Speaker 2>i'd have been having contractions on and off for about

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<v Speaker 2>a day, and then I started to bleed really heavily,

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<v Speaker 2>so I caught the hospital. They said to come in.

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<v Speaker 2>I went in. My blood pressure was up. They weren't

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<v Speaker 2>super worried. They kept us there for about six hours

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<v Speaker 2>or I was still bleeding really heavily, and then everything

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<v Speaker 2>sort of started to happen at once, which I think

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<v Speaker 2>is quite common for anyone who's had any kind of

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<v Speaker 2>birth with their complications. It's all very peaceful. In the

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<v Speaker 2>next minute, you've got ten people in your room. We

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<v Speaker 2>weren't told anything. They just said, oh, look, we're taking

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<v Speaker 2>you in now you can have your baby. And so

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<v Speaker 2>we were wheeled down the hall, went into the room.

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<v Speaker 2>Had a spinal If anyone else who's had my sea section, mums, no,

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<v Speaker 2>the shakes are absolutely horrible. So I was like vibrating

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<v Speaker 2>off the table. My poor husband. So anyway, we're having

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<v Speaker 2>the sea section. Everything was fine. They were jolting around

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<v Speaker 2>as they always do. At one point I did feel

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<v Speaker 2>them jolt my side quite heavily and I didn't think

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<v Speaker 2>anything about it at the time, but then they sewed

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<v Speaker 2>me up. Adrian went away, my husband went away with Evelyn,

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<v Speaker 2>and then I was wheeled to recovery and I was

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<v Speaker 2>in recovery for about four hours because my blood pressure

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<v Speaker 2>was really high and wasn't coming down. I also couldn't

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<v Speaker 2>really see so like everything was really glary, the lights

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<v Speaker 2>were really bright. Yeah, everything was really distorted. I was

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<v Speaker 2>shaking and I was felt freezing cold. It was a

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<v Speaker 2>really weird sensation. So they didn't let me leave. They

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<v Speaker 2>wanted one of the specialists. And when you have hypertension

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<v Speaker 2>impregnate and see you don't see cardiologists. You actually see

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<v Speaker 2>nephthrologists who look after your kidneys because that's the biggest

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<v Speaker 2>part of your body that can be affected through hypertension

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<v Speaker 2>in pregnancy. So they were waiting for a specialist to

0:11:11.880 --> 0:11:13.800
<v Speaker 2>come and see me. In the end, they didn't, so

0:11:13.880 --> 0:11:15.800
<v Speaker 2>I was wheeled off to the maternity ward because they

0:11:15.840 --> 0:11:18.200
<v Speaker 2>were busy. So I was there got to feed everyone,

0:11:18.240 --> 0:11:21.040
<v Speaker 2>which was nice. I was still feeling really strange, like

0:11:21.120 --> 0:11:24.199
<v Speaker 2>I still couldn't really see anything, and then.

0:11:24.520 --> 0:11:28.839
<v Speaker 1>Surprise, surprise, she was breastfeeding another child. Sorry, like I

0:11:28.880 --> 0:11:30.720
<v Speaker 1>said at the top, we've both got really bad sense

0:11:30.720 --> 0:11:31.240
<v Speaker 1>of the humor.

0:11:32.200 --> 0:11:34.160
<v Speaker 2>No, I wasn't, But what was actually this was actually

0:11:34.200 --> 0:11:36.160
<v Speaker 2>really cool. I remember them asking me if I wanted

0:11:36.160 --> 0:11:37.400
<v Speaker 2>to breastfeed her, and I was like, oh, I don't

0:11:37.400 --> 0:11:39.240
<v Speaker 2>think I can. I don't think there's any milk in there.

0:11:39.480 --> 0:11:42.040
<v Speaker 2>And they just started squeezing my nipples and it started

0:11:42.600 --> 0:11:44.800
<v Speaker 2>just started coming out, and I was like, Oh, that's

0:11:44.840 --> 0:11:47.200
<v Speaker 2>really cool. I can't believe I did that. My body

0:11:47.200 --> 0:11:50.360
<v Speaker 2>did that. So then I was in the maternity ward

0:11:50.400 --> 0:11:52.640
<v Speaker 2>and I had some physicians come in and they started

0:11:52.640 --> 0:11:55.720
<v Speaker 2>playing around with my feet and checking my blood pressure

0:11:55.720 --> 0:11:57.400
<v Speaker 2>and doing a few things, and I was just off

0:11:57.400 --> 0:11:59.120
<v Speaker 2>in my own world. I was quite out of it.

0:12:00.120 --> 0:12:02.400
<v Speaker 2>Then hit the guy left, and then he came back

0:12:02.440 --> 0:12:04.560
<v Speaker 2>with another specialist and they started playing around with my

0:12:04.559 --> 0:12:06.520
<v Speaker 2>feet again and stuff like that, and then they the

0:12:06.559 --> 0:12:08.480
<v Speaker 2>next minute he was like, we're moving you back up,

0:12:09.200 --> 0:12:11.160
<v Speaker 2>like to a different unit of the hospital, back to

0:12:11.160 --> 0:12:15.079
<v Speaker 2>the birthing unit, And so up we went. Evelyn came

0:12:15.080 --> 0:12:16.760
<v Speaker 2>with me. My husband had gone home for a couple

0:12:16.800 --> 0:12:19.400
<v Speaker 2>of hours that time to walk our dog. Again. No

0:12:19.440 --> 0:12:21.800
<v Speaker 2>one really said anything to me about what was going on.

0:12:21.840 --> 0:12:23.240
<v Speaker 2>The next minute, I was just hooked up to a

0:12:23.280 --> 0:12:24.880
<v Speaker 2>drip and I had a midwife sit with me for

0:12:24.880 --> 0:12:27.800
<v Speaker 2>about two hours, just watching me. So it turned out

0:12:27.800 --> 0:12:30.640
<v Speaker 2>I had developed preclampsy and I was having what we

0:12:30.720 --> 0:12:34.920
<v Speaker 2>call hyperreflexia, so it means that when you do like

0:12:35.000 --> 0:12:38.880
<v Speaker 2>a test on a reflex test, it my limits were

0:12:38.920 --> 0:12:40.920
<v Speaker 2>not normal. So when they were playing around with my feet,

0:12:40.920 --> 0:12:43.760
<v Speaker 2>they were testing my reflexes, and my reflexes were going

0:12:43.800 --> 0:12:46.240
<v Speaker 2>completely crazy, and what it meant was was that my

0:12:46.320 --> 0:12:49.600
<v Speaker 2>brain was being affected by the high blood pressure. So

0:12:49.880 --> 0:12:52.640
<v Speaker 2>they put me on this strip called magnesium sulfate, which

0:12:52.720 --> 0:12:54.800
<v Speaker 2>stopped you having seizures because that was going to be

0:12:54.840 --> 0:12:56.280
<v Speaker 2>the next thing that was going to happen if they

0:12:56.280 --> 0:12:58.680
<v Speaker 2>didn't get me on it. It can also cause you

0:12:58.720 --> 0:13:01.040
<v Speaker 2>to your heart to fail, so that's why nurses sit

0:13:01.120 --> 0:13:03.280
<v Speaker 2>with you for the first hour or two because that's

0:13:03.320 --> 0:13:05.400
<v Speaker 2>when the dose is the highest, and then they drop

0:13:05.440 --> 0:13:07.080
<v Speaker 2>it down and then you stay on this strip for

0:13:07.080 --> 0:13:10.080
<v Speaker 2>twenty four to forty eight hours, depending on how well

0:13:10.120 --> 0:13:12.439
<v Speaker 2>you are. So I was just sitting in this room

0:13:12.559 --> 0:13:14.400
<v Speaker 2>for I think I ended up staying on it for

0:13:14.440 --> 0:13:17.360
<v Speaker 2>twenty four hours, so not the forty eight, which was good,

0:13:17.600 --> 0:13:19.120
<v Speaker 2>and it did start to settle things down, but I

0:13:19.160 --> 0:13:21.960
<v Speaker 2>still could barely see, like everything was still really bright.

0:13:22.080 --> 0:13:24.760
<v Speaker 2>But they dimmed all the lights in the room. And

0:13:24.840 --> 0:13:26.720
<v Speaker 2>I hadn't even told them that I was feeling like

0:13:26.760 --> 0:13:28.800
<v Speaker 2>that at this point. They just did it all. Everyone

0:13:28.880 --> 0:13:30.920
<v Speaker 2>kept quite a close eye on me for the next day.

0:13:31.960 --> 0:13:33.840
<v Speaker 2>Then I had all the specialists coming to see me.

0:13:34.080 --> 0:13:36.800
<v Speaker 2>They ended up moving me probably about a day later,

0:13:36.920 --> 0:13:39.240
<v Speaker 2>back to the normal ward. My blood pressure was still

0:13:39.320 --> 0:13:43.000
<v Speaker 2>really high, but I wasn't having any neurological symptoms anymore,

0:13:43.040 --> 0:13:46.080
<v Speaker 2>so they took me off the magnesium sulfate and instead

0:13:46.080 --> 0:13:48.800
<v Speaker 2>put me on a whole cohort of blood pressure medication.

0:13:48.960 --> 0:13:51.360
<v Speaker 2>I was on three different kinds of medication that I

0:13:51.400 --> 0:13:53.920
<v Speaker 2>had to take about five times a day, and I

0:13:54.000 --> 0:13:56.280
<v Speaker 2>was on that for probably four to six months, and

0:13:56.320 --> 0:13:58.679
<v Speaker 2>then all of a sudden, my blood pressure just started

0:13:58.720 --> 0:14:00.440
<v Speaker 2>to drop and drop and drop, and so I just

0:14:00.440 --> 0:14:03.800
<v Speaker 2>had to wean myself off the medication under their advice, obviously,

0:14:04.600 --> 0:14:06.880
<v Speaker 2>but it was really horrible. So if anyone else who's

0:14:06.880 --> 0:14:10.040
<v Speaker 2>had preclamsy before, I'm really sorry. It really sucks. The

0:14:10.080 --> 0:14:14.320
<v Speaker 2>medication makes you feel so unwell, your muscles all you

0:14:14.360 --> 0:14:17.199
<v Speaker 2>can't like I couldn't hold Evelyn, like I couldn't move

0:14:17.640 --> 0:14:20.080
<v Speaker 2>It's all. It was horrible, and I couldn't talk about

0:14:20.120 --> 0:14:23.920
<v Speaker 2>it for a long time after having her, because.

0:14:23.880 --> 0:14:26.320
<v Speaker 1>You I hate this word, but I don't know what

0:14:26.360 --> 0:14:28.240
<v Speaker 1>other word to use, because of the trauma that you

0:14:28.280 --> 0:14:32.680
<v Speaker 1>felt when you were reflecting back, or because you didn't

0:14:32.680 --> 0:14:35.000
<v Speaker 1>want to be reminded, or you just didn't want to

0:14:35.000 --> 0:14:37.160
<v Speaker 1>talk about it. You're not a talker though, until after

0:14:37.160 --> 0:14:39.360
<v Speaker 1>the fact. We're very similar in that regard, and then

0:14:39.400 --> 0:14:42.360
<v Speaker 1>we all say things afterwards in each other or other people,

0:14:42.440 --> 0:14:44.680
<v Speaker 1>like why didn't you say anything? But sometimes it's easier

0:14:44.720 --> 0:14:48.120
<v Speaker 1>just to tunnel through because other people's sympathy or whatnot

0:14:48.160 --> 0:14:49.920
<v Speaker 1>aren't actually going to help. I don't know.

0:14:50.000 --> 0:14:51.720
<v Speaker 2>I don't know why I didn't. I just couldn't, Like

0:14:51.760 --> 0:14:53.520
<v Speaker 2>I didn't want to think about it, and I felt

0:14:53.560 --> 0:14:56.000
<v Speaker 2>like I was stuck if I did, so I just

0:14:56.320 --> 0:14:59.000
<v Speaker 2>didn't talk about it. I didn't do anything, and then

0:14:59.080 --> 0:15:00.720
<v Speaker 2>ys in hospital for a way while because they were

0:15:00.720 --> 0:15:04.280
<v Speaker 2>still concerned about my blood pressure and things can escalate

0:15:04.320 --> 0:15:06.720
<v Speaker 2>quite quickly when it's high for the postpartum period, so

0:15:06.720 --> 0:15:08.200
<v Speaker 2>they kept me there for a while. Then I got

0:15:08.200 --> 0:15:09.560
<v Speaker 2>sent home and.

0:15:09.480 --> 0:15:11.080
<v Speaker 1>No one could visit you at the hospital because it

0:15:11.080 --> 0:15:11.480
<v Speaker 1>was COVID.

0:15:11.640 --> 0:15:13.600
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, so lockdown one. So it was just my husband

0:15:13.680 --> 0:15:15.760
<v Speaker 2>in the hospital with me. And then yet then we

0:15:15.800 --> 0:15:19.320
<v Speaker 2>went home about a week later. Everything was fine for

0:15:19.400 --> 0:15:22.040
<v Speaker 2>a while, like we just settled into parenting life. Everything

0:15:22.080 --> 0:15:24.760
<v Speaker 2>was going fine. She was fit, like breastfeeding us finding okay,

0:15:24.880 --> 0:15:27.760
<v Speaker 2>like a bit painful, but not too bad, and everything

0:15:27.800 --> 0:15:30.640
<v Speaker 2>was chugging along. Then about it was probably about ten

0:15:30.720 --> 0:15:35.280
<v Speaker 2>days after she was born, Evelyn started to cry. I

0:15:35.320 --> 0:15:39.640
<v Speaker 2>don't consider myself a dramatic person, but she cried and

0:15:39.680 --> 0:15:43.160
<v Speaker 2>screamed all day every day unless she slept, and she

0:15:43.200 --> 0:15:46.080
<v Speaker 2>didn't sleep. She'd sleep for twenty minutes at a time

0:15:46.240 --> 0:15:49.080
<v Speaker 2>every couple of hours, so she also was chronically overtired.

0:15:49.640 --> 0:15:52.280
<v Speaker 2>But she did not sleep, and she just screamed all

0:15:52.320 --> 0:15:55.880
<v Speaker 2>the time. And I didn't know what to do. She

0:15:56.080 --> 0:15:57.800
<v Speaker 2>just screamed and screamed and screamed.

0:15:58.040 --> 0:16:01.560
<v Speaker 1>Babies cry, didn't you know. That's what every doctor likes

0:16:01.600 --> 0:16:02.120
<v Speaker 1>to tell you.

0:16:02.280 --> 0:16:04.840
<v Speaker 2>That's what every doctor did tell me. So I saw

0:16:05.080 --> 0:16:07.800
<v Speaker 2>two or three pediatricians and that was a good five

0:16:07.880 --> 0:16:11.480
<v Speaker 2>hundred dollars a pop. I saw multiple gps. I saw

0:16:11.520 --> 0:16:15.240
<v Speaker 2>the community nurses, and everyone just told me babies cry.

0:16:15.480 --> 0:16:18.840
<v Speaker 1>Remember the night after it had started, I put a

0:16:18.840 --> 0:16:23.520
<v Speaker 1>call out on Instagram. People are so helpful. So I

0:16:23.880 --> 0:16:26.400
<v Speaker 1>went to the shops and bought every single thing that

0:16:26.560 --> 0:16:29.680
<v Speaker 1>was recommended, like grape water, like any single thing, and

0:16:29.760 --> 0:16:33.080
<v Speaker 1>got all these methods. And then I went over and

0:16:33.160 --> 0:16:36.600
<v Speaker 1>I'm trying to like give her gas massages, baby massages

0:16:36.640 --> 0:16:40.000
<v Speaker 1>while Ni's going at Eveline's just going ah, and then

0:16:40.040 --> 0:16:43.440
<v Speaker 1>I'm being a human snool like vibrating under her. It

0:16:43.480 --> 0:16:44.840
<v Speaker 1>was proper unhinged.

0:16:45.280 --> 0:16:48.200
<v Speaker 2>It really was like Kelly was the only person. Well,

0:16:48.240 --> 0:16:50.360
<v Speaker 2>my mum was there a lot too, but Kelly, because

0:16:50.360 --> 0:16:53.080
<v Speaker 2>she's in Sydney, sat with my husband and I threw

0:16:53.120 --> 0:16:55.640
<v Speaker 2>this and it was so bad, and because everyone kept

0:16:55.640 --> 0:16:59.400
<v Speaker 2>telling us babies cry, we just sat in this pit

0:16:59.480 --> 0:17:04.000
<v Speaker 2>of miser for months. And then my husband went away

0:17:04.040 --> 0:17:05.879
<v Speaker 2>when Evelyn was about six weeks old. He was in

0:17:05.920 --> 0:17:08.639
<v Speaker 2>the army, so he was gone for six weeks and

0:17:08.680 --> 0:17:12.480
<v Speaker 2>I ended up. She was so unsettled that my dad

0:17:12.600 --> 0:17:15.040
<v Speaker 2>ended up coming to Sydney to get me and Evelyn

0:17:15.119 --> 0:17:17.720
<v Speaker 2>and bring us back to their place, and she screamed

0:17:17.720 --> 0:17:20.920
<v Speaker 2>so much, like they live on property that his neighbors

0:17:21.560 --> 0:17:24.240
<v Speaker 2>asked him what he was doing to his granddaughter because

0:17:24.280 --> 0:17:26.600
<v Speaker 2>she would not stop screaming. There was like she would

0:17:26.640 --> 0:17:28.840
<v Speaker 2>go hours and hours. We did the whole weitch I've

0:17:28.840 --> 0:17:31.400
<v Speaker 2>taken her a hospital before when she was screaming so much.

0:17:31.480 --> 0:17:34.320
<v Speaker 2>We bought the Wilby's and all of the everything under

0:17:34.320 --> 0:17:37.840
<v Speaker 2>the sun. Nothing worked, and every doctor continued to tell

0:17:37.880 --> 0:17:41.040
<v Speaker 2>me babies just cry. And she was also she vomited

0:17:41.119 --> 0:17:43.879
<v Speaker 2>all the time, and it's just she was just it

0:17:43.960 --> 0:17:44.600
<v Speaker 2>was horrible.

0:17:44.880 --> 0:17:48.679
<v Speaker 1>As a first time mum. Em also was on the

0:17:48.760 --> 0:17:51.320
<v Speaker 1>younger side, like no one really in your friendship circle,

0:17:52.160 --> 0:17:55.760
<v Speaker 1>not many people had babies, so you didn't also have

0:17:56.480 --> 0:17:59.359
<v Speaker 1>a point of reference of what was normal. So you

0:17:59.480 --> 0:18:02.520
<v Speaker 1>just listen and to the medical professionals and thought, I

0:18:02.680 --> 0:18:05.840
<v Speaker 1>guess this is normal, I guess or babies just scream

0:18:06.000 --> 0:18:06.560
<v Speaker 1>like this.

0:18:07.000 --> 0:18:09.560
<v Speaker 2>Because I'd wanted a baby for so long and I

0:18:09.560 --> 0:18:12.080
<v Speaker 2>felt so lucky I'd had one, And then I guess

0:18:12.080 --> 0:18:13.960
<v Speaker 2>this isn't really a talk for right now. But then

0:18:14.280 --> 0:18:16.439
<v Speaker 2>there was the whole because we felt pregnant. Obviously the

0:18:16.480 --> 0:18:19.080
<v Speaker 2>reasons for us doing IVF were medical, there also was

0:18:19.280 --> 0:18:21.560
<v Speaker 2>there's a part of us it always worries still about

0:18:21.560 --> 0:18:23.600
<v Speaker 2>the genetic things. I realized I didn't cover up on

0:18:23.680 --> 0:18:24.199
<v Speaker 2>that before.

0:18:24.440 --> 0:18:26.800
<v Speaker 1>Can I just tell the wild part of that that

0:18:26.920 --> 0:18:33.280
<v Speaker 1>eavy and puff you finished yum can't be tested because

0:18:33.280 --> 0:18:37.080
<v Speaker 1>it's not consensual, but like, okay, but you could be

0:18:37.119 --> 0:18:41.000
<v Speaker 1>tested for chicken pox or like that is the silliest thing.

0:18:41.040 --> 0:18:44.720
<v Speaker 1>You could be tested for anything low iron reflux. But

0:18:44.800 --> 0:18:47.840
<v Speaker 1>you can't be tested because it's not consensual.

0:18:48.280 --> 0:18:50.320
<v Speaker 2>So that's something that they never telled us as well.

0:18:50.359 --> 0:18:52.760
<v Speaker 2>We did. We have asked about getting the kids tested

0:18:52.800 --> 0:18:55.679
<v Speaker 2>because I just believe education and information is important. So

0:18:55.800 --> 0:18:57.760
<v Speaker 2>if they do carry the gene, I want to know

0:18:57.840 --> 0:19:00.439
<v Speaker 2>because I want doctors to constantly look after them and

0:19:00.560 --> 0:19:02.919
<v Speaker 2>watch out for them like they do for me. Like

0:19:03.000 --> 0:19:05.720
<v Speaker 2>every year, I have so many tests and things that

0:19:05.760 --> 0:19:09.960
<v Speaker 2>are run, and every time anyone is somewhat concerned about

0:19:10.040 --> 0:19:12.680
<v Speaker 2>anything or I have some kind of weird symptom, I'll

0:19:12.680 --> 0:19:15.159
<v Speaker 2>have an ultrasound a blood test. Like I'm probably the

0:19:15.200 --> 0:19:18.520
<v Speaker 2>safest person when it comes to any kind of cancer

0:19:18.560 --> 0:19:20.679
<v Speaker 2>diagnosis because yes, I'm more likely to get it, but

0:19:20.720 --> 0:19:23.320
<v Speaker 2>I'm also so much more likely to catch it really early.

0:19:23.960 --> 0:19:27.480
<v Speaker 2>So yeah, Evelyn's crying Adrian's mum has passed away. We're

0:19:27.560 --> 0:19:30.440
<v Speaker 2>very sad. He's working a lot, he's in the Army.

0:19:30.440 --> 0:19:34.000
<v Speaker 2>I'm on maternity leave going mad. I'd wanted this baby

0:19:34.040 --> 0:19:36.399
<v Speaker 2>more than anything, and she just screams all the time.

0:19:36.640 --> 0:19:39.360
<v Speaker 2>No one would tell me anything was wrong. I went

0:19:39.359 --> 0:19:41.600
<v Speaker 2>out to lunch one day to work colleagues. One of

0:19:41.640 --> 0:19:43.400
<v Speaker 2>them was a first time mum, and their babies are

0:19:43.400 --> 0:19:45.600
<v Speaker 2>just sitting there perfectly, and I just felt like I

0:19:45.720 --> 0:19:48.920
<v Speaker 2>was failing. She woke up every hour for the first

0:19:48.920 --> 0:19:52.159
<v Speaker 2>six months. I literally was just on autopilot. I was

0:19:52.240 --> 0:19:55.879
<v Speaker 2>so numb to everything. I just felt so out of it.

0:19:55.960 --> 0:19:58.479
<v Speaker 2>We went to Trasilian, we did all of the stuff

0:19:58.520 --> 0:20:02.520
<v Speaker 2>that everyone recommends, and still we weren't getting anywhere. Over

0:20:02.560 --> 0:20:06.160
<v Speaker 2>that period, Agent I did comfort ourselves with wine most evenings.

0:20:06.200 --> 0:20:09.120
<v Speaker 2>I know that's terrible, don't recommend, but we would drink

0:20:09.119 --> 0:20:11.520
<v Speaker 2>too much wine and then have sex. A lot of

0:20:11.520 --> 0:20:14.000
<v Speaker 2>you are probably thinking that's really weird given everything that's

0:20:14.040 --> 0:20:15.560
<v Speaker 2>going on, but I think it was probably the only

0:20:15.600 --> 0:20:18.960
<v Speaker 2>way we felt like we were connecting. Because, like anyone

0:20:18.960 --> 0:20:22.639
<v Speaker 2>who says that babies bring you closer, I don't understand it. Obviously,

0:20:22.680 --> 0:20:25.880
<v Speaker 2>I love him very much. But we both were at

0:20:26.080 --> 0:20:28.800
<v Speaker 2>like lockerheads all the time because this little thing would

0:20:28.840 --> 0:20:32.320
<v Speaker 2>scream at us all the time. I felt resemful being

0:20:32.320 --> 0:20:35.399
<v Speaker 2>at home with this little babyhood scream. He's working so

0:20:35.600 --> 0:20:39.320
<v Speaker 2>hard coming home to me miserable on her screaming. So

0:20:39.560 --> 0:20:41.520
<v Speaker 2>I think it was the only way that we felt connected.

0:20:41.960 --> 0:20:44.000
<v Speaker 1>I'm still baffled as like, why would you want to

0:20:44.040 --> 0:20:46.760
<v Speaker 1>be touched like you're stick of You're so touched out

0:20:46.840 --> 0:20:50.840
<v Speaker 1>and like, but everyone's very different anyway, everyone's either wine,

0:20:50.920 --> 0:20:53.760
<v Speaker 1>everyone's very different. But you were on birth control. I

0:20:53.760 --> 0:20:55.400
<v Speaker 1>would like to remind yes.

0:20:55.320 --> 0:20:56.720
<v Speaker 2>I was on birth control, and I was on the

0:20:56.720 --> 0:20:58.520
<v Speaker 2>mini peel and which they say is safe to take away.

0:20:58.520 --> 0:21:00.679
<v Speaker 2>You're breastfeeding, because at that point I was mixed feeding

0:21:00.760 --> 0:21:05.080
<v Speaker 2>because because she was so unsettled, I could not have

0:21:05.160 --> 0:21:08.240
<v Speaker 2>her on me all the time, so that having people

0:21:08.280 --> 0:21:11.600
<v Speaker 2>be able to give her a bottle really helped anyway. Then,

0:21:11.760 --> 0:21:13.720
<v Speaker 2>I because I was on the mini pill, I was

0:21:13.760 --> 0:21:16.840
<v Speaker 2>getting two periods a month, and it just was the

0:21:16.840 --> 0:21:18.679
<v Speaker 2>way it was. It had been that way for months.

0:21:18.720 --> 0:21:20.239
<v Speaker 2>I was just kind of used to it. And then

0:21:20.280 --> 0:21:23.440
<v Speaker 2>it got to the end of May twenty twenty one

0:21:24.000 --> 0:21:27.359
<v Speaker 2>and my period. By second period hadn't arrived. The week

0:21:27.440 --> 0:21:30.720
<v Speaker 2>before Kelly had called and told me she was pregnant

0:21:30.720 --> 0:21:34.720
<v Speaker 2>with Lennie. And then I didn't get my second period

0:21:34.720 --> 0:21:37.440
<v Speaker 2>of the month, and so I had some old expired

0:21:37.480 --> 0:21:41.959
<v Speaker 2>pregnancy tests from when I was felt pregnant with Evelyn,

0:21:42.240 --> 0:21:44.560
<v Speaker 2>and so I went and did one, and two lines

0:21:44.640 --> 0:21:46.840
<v Speaker 2>showed up. I couldn't believe it. I went to the

0:21:46.880 --> 0:21:49.320
<v Speaker 2>shops and bought another one, like one of those really

0:21:49.359 --> 0:21:53.359
<v Speaker 2>expensive manual ones where it tells you if you're actually

0:21:53.440 --> 0:21:55.119
<v Speaker 2>pregnant or not, because I was wanted there to be

0:21:55.200 --> 0:21:57.800
<v Speaker 2>no ambiguity, and yet said I was pregnant.

0:21:58.200 --> 0:22:02.320
<v Speaker 1>When she calls me, she's sobbing, and then she goes

0:22:02.359 --> 0:22:07.480
<v Speaker 1>downstairs and Adriene is just staring into the abyss. Evelyn's

0:22:07.560 --> 0:22:14.560
<v Speaker 1>still screaming, and yeah, so you can get pregnant on

0:22:14.560 --> 0:22:18.879
<v Speaker 1>the mini pill and even those who have terrible eggs,

0:22:18.880 --> 0:22:21.320
<v Speaker 1>according to the fertility specialists.

0:22:21.600 --> 0:22:25.320
<v Speaker 2>And before anyone asks, yes, I was taking it properly apparently,

0:22:25.359 --> 0:22:27.679
<v Speaker 2>and I don't know if this is medically correct, but

0:22:28.000 --> 0:22:30.600
<v Speaker 2>one doctor told me. This was my renal specialist who

0:22:30.600 --> 0:22:32.280
<v Speaker 2>I had to go back and see obviously because of

0:22:32.320 --> 0:22:35.159
<v Speaker 2>my blood pressure issues with Evelyn. She told me that

0:22:35.200 --> 0:22:38.280
<v Speaker 2>the mini pill doesn't work as effectively once you stop breastfeeding,

0:22:38.280 --> 0:22:40.960
<v Speaker 2>and I've stopped breastfeeding a couple of weeks before this.

0:22:41.960 --> 0:22:46.720
<v Speaker 2>So after we found it we're pregnant with Wesley, we thought, okay,

0:22:46.760 --> 0:22:49.560
<v Speaker 2>well we need to sort out the first one being Evelyn.

0:22:49.840 --> 0:22:53.040
<v Speaker 2>So I booked in an appointment that day with this

0:22:53.160 --> 0:22:56.800
<v Speaker 2>doctor i'd been seeing at the time and said, we

0:22:56.920 --> 0:22:59.600
<v Speaker 2>need to fix this. Something's not right. No one's listening

0:22:59.600 --> 0:23:02.040
<v Speaker 2>to me. Please help us. We've just found out we're

0:23:02.040 --> 0:23:05.400
<v Speaker 2>pregnant again. So she's like, okay, well let's try let's

0:23:05.520 --> 0:23:07.840
<v Speaker 2>see if it's reflux. She's vomiting a lot, maybe it's reflux.

0:23:07.880 --> 0:23:10.520
<v Speaker 2>So she puts her on reflex meds. Look, it helps

0:23:10.560 --> 0:23:13.240
<v Speaker 2>a little bit. It's not a significant improvement, it helps

0:23:13.280 --> 0:23:16.040
<v Speaker 2>a little bit. She's still waking all the time. So

0:23:16.080 --> 0:23:18.760
<v Speaker 2>then we try all of the different sleep training options.

0:23:18.800 --> 0:23:21.800
<v Speaker 2>Please don't judge me, but we tried them all. A

0:23:21.880 --> 0:23:24.639
<v Speaker 2>couple of months after she started on the reflex meds,

0:23:25.080 --> 0:23:27.960
<v Speaker 2>I posted a video of her and said something about

0:23:28.000 --> 0:23:31.080
<v Speaker 2>her vomiting all the time, and this doctor followed me

0:23:31.160 --> 0:23:34.440
<v Speaker 2>on Facebook and Instagram, and so she calls me out

0:23:34.440 --> 0:23:37.160
<v Speaker 2>of the blue and says, oh, you mentioned she's still

0:23:37.240 --> 0:23:40.399
<v Speaker 2>vomiting in your story. I want you to try putting

0:23:40.400 --> 0:23:43.000
<v Speaker 2>her on a dairy free formula. And she's like, I

0:23:43.119 --> 0:23:46.520
<v Speaker 2>mean completely dairy free. There's only one you can buy

0:23:46.840 --> 0:23:51.240
<v Speaker 2>that's not prescription. And she's like, there's actual allergies babies

0:23:51.280 --> 0:23:54.560
<v Speaker 2>can have to dairy and so we did that. I

0:23:54.600 --> 0:23:57.760
<v Speaker 2>did that that day. It was very expensive. In two weeks,

0:23:57.760 --> 0:24:01.200
<v Speaker 2>she was sleeping for longer and crying less. Within six weeks,

0:24:01.240 --> 0:24:05.280
<v Speaker 2>we had like a completely different baby. She was so settled.

0:24:05.280 --> 0:24:07.879
<v Speaker 2>She started to actually gain weight, she started to have

0:24:08.000 --> 0:24:12.240
<v Speaker 2>normal poos, and she was so happy. Then she started

0:24:12.280 --> 0:24:14.479
<v Speaker 2>to eat more solid foods because she started to get older,

0:24:14.640 --> 0:24:17.760
<v Speaker 2>and then she starts to have really gross poos and

0:24:17.840 --> 0:24:20.760
<v Speaker 2>sorry this is gross for anyone, but she's literally pooing

0:24:20.800 --> 0:24:23.800
<v Speaker 2>out her food whole. She would pooh and there would

0:24:23.840 --> 0:24:26.359
<v Speaker 2>be orange in her like I'm not on corn, I

0:24:26.400 --> 0:24:29.520
<v Speaker 2>mean like orange and apple, like bits of actual chunks

0:24:29.520 --> 0:24:31.760
<v Speaker 2>of food. And I was like, this isn't normal. We're

0:24:31.760 --> 0:24:34.359
<v Speaker 2>on a list to see an allergy specialist. And then

0:24:34.760 --> 0:24:37.359
<v Speaker 2>we saw the allergy specialist when she was one and

0:24:37.480 --> 0:24:40.520
<v Speaker 2>like two months I think, and I walk into this room,

0:24:41.080 --> 0:24:44.359
<v Speaker 2>she'd also started screaming again all the time, Like I

0:24:44.400 --> 0:24:47.280
<v Speaker 2>would pick her up from daycare, heavily pregnant, she would

0:24:47.359 --> 0:24:49.840
<v Speaker 2>scream and scream and scream. She would roll around on

0:24:49.880 --> 0:24:52.560
<v Speaker 2>the ground screaming when we got home and just scream

0:24:52.640 --> 0:24:55.480
<v Speaker 2>until bedtime. We see this allergy specialist, and I just

0:24:55.520 --> 0:24:59.760
<v Speaker 2>looked completely desperate. He was not particularly kind or helpful

0:25:00.040 --> 0:25:02.520
<v Speaker 2>all but he did do allergy testing on her, and

0:25:02.520 --> 0:25:04.960
<v Speaker 2>it turned out she tested positive on the skin prick

0:25:05.040 --> 0:25:09.399
<v Speaker 2>testing to dairy and soy. And it turns out soy

0:25:09.560 --> 0:25:12.240
<v Speaker 2>was the one that was actually impacting her most. It

0:25:12.359 --> 0:25:16.840
<v Speaker 2>was causing all of the terrible like the disgusting pousan like.

0:25:16.880 --> 0:25:20.040
<v Speaker 2>It was just upset her stomach so much so. And

0:25:20.080 --> 0:25:22.199
<v Speaker 2>that's why for a short window of time it was

0:25:22.240 --> 0:25:24.639
<v Speaker 2>good when she was just on this dairy free formula

0:25:24.640 --> 0:25:26.879
<v Speaker 2>because there was also no soy in that formula, so

0:25:26.920 --> 0:25:28.960
<v Speaker 2>she was the only window of time where she was

0:25:29.000 --> 0:25:32.399
<v Speaker 2>a happy, normal sort of baby. It's wild that not

0:25:32.560 --> 0:25:36.080
<v Speaker 2>one doctor like cows and protein milk and allergies and

0:25:36.160 --> 0:25:40.399
<v Speaker 2>soy is actually not that uncommon. Like it's wild that

0:25:40.520 --> 0:25:43.719
<v Speaker 2>not one doctor picked that up. I feel like I'm

0:25:43.800 --> 0:25:46.520
<v Speaker 2>much less of an asshole after having Evelyn as a baby,

0:25:46.520 --> 0:25:48.560
<v Speaker 2>because I was that person who'd be like, oh, you're

0:25:48.600 --> 0:25:51.439
<v Speaker 2>gluten free too, Like I was an asshole. I was,

0:25:51.880 --> 0:25:53.600
<v Speaker 2>and I think that's what a lot of doctors did

0:25:53.640 --> 0:25:55.280
<v Speaker 2>to me. They're like, Oh, another mom who think her

0:25:55.280 --> 0:25:57.520
<v Speaker 2>baby's got reflux. Another mom who says her baby's not

0:25:57.560 --> 0:26:00.480
<v Speaker 2>sleeping and crying. That's what babies do. I have so

0:26:00.640 --> 0:26:04.000
<v Speaker 2>much more patience and I'm so much more open because

0:26:04.119 --> 0:26:11.440
<v Speaker 2>I've never experienced anything that like that in my life.

0:26:11.800 --> 0:26:15.600
<v Speaker 2>So Evelyn starts on this really restrictive diet. Finding food

0:26:15.640 --> 0:26:18.400
<v Speaker 2>without soy in it is so hard. You can't give

0:26:18.440 --> 0:26:21.520
<v Speaker 2>them normal bread. She was on such a restricted diet,

0:26:21.560 --> 0:26:24.440
<v Speaker 2>but it worked like her. Poo's previously were so bad.

0:26:24.480 --> 0:26:26.560
<v Speaker 2>I had the ladies at day care calling and talking

0:26:26.600 --> 0:26:28.760
<v Speaker 2>to me about it. Not diarrhea, just disgusting.

0:26:29.000 --> 0:26:31.160
<v Speaker 1>One day I was looking after and I didn't realize

0:26:31.200 --> 0:26:34.080
<v Speaker 1>that there was soy in the batter in KFC. Well

0:26:34.480 --> 0:26:37.919
<v Speaker 1>that's what I got for ordering my niece KFC for lunch.

0:26:38.440 --> 0:26:41.160
<v Speaker 1>I literally had to hose her down in the shower

0:26:41.560 --> 0:26:44.399
<v Speaker 1>like a small dog. There was feces everywhere.

0:26:44.480 --> 0:26:46.679
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, so we got her on a very restricted diet.

0:26:46.760 --> 0:26:49.440
<v Speaker 2>It again really helped and she started to settle a bit.

0:26:50.160 --> 0:26:55.080
<v Speaker 2>Then I it was my mother in law's death anniversary,

0:26:55.760 --> 0:26:57.440
<v Speaker 2>so like it was one year to the day since

0:26:57.440 --> 0:27:00.639
<v Speaker 2>she'd passed away, and I started to feel a bit funny,

0:27:00.680 --> 0:27:03.160
<v Speaker 2>like I wasn't feeling great, Like I was thirty five

0:27:03.200 --> 0:27:05.080
<v Speaker 2>weeks pregnant. I was like, I'm not feeling good. So

0:27:05.200 --> 0:27:07.359
<v Speaker 2>I was like, and my husband was talking to his

0:27:07.480 --> 0:27:11.320
<v Speaker 2>sister overseasing on the phone because they were talking about

0:27:11.320 --> 0:27:13.560
<v Speaker 2>their mum and whatnot, and she's had a baby, and

0:27:13.600 --> 0:27:15.040
<v Speaker 2>she was just sort of like, oh, I hope Emma's

0:27:15.040 --> 0:27:16.840
<v Speaker 2>all right, and was making jokes because I was also

0:27:16.880 --> 0:27:20.439
<v Speaker 2>experiencing intermittent pain. I was thirty five weeks. And then

0:27:20.680 --> 0:27:22.320
<v Speaker 2>I sat on the lounge for most of the night.

0:27:22.359 --> 0:27:24.040
<v Speaker 2>And I'm normally not the type of person who can

0:27:24.080 --> 0:27:26.560
<v Speaker 2>just sit around. I normally like to do twenty brilliant things,

0:27:26.600 --> 0:27:29.080
<v Speaker 2>and so I just sat there, and the pain's getting

0:27:29.119 --> 0:27:30.639
<v Speaker 2>worse and a bit more frequent, and I was like,

0:27:30.680 --> 0:27:33.680
<v Speaker 2>this feels familiar. But I did think it was Braxton

0:27:33.760 --> 0:27:36.000
<v Speaker 2>Hicks because it was thirty five weeks. I was like, Nah,

0:27:36.000 --> 0:27:38.880
<v Speaker 2>it's fine, it'll yeah, it won't actually be labor. I'll

0:27:38.880 --> 0:27:40.920
<v Speaker 2>just sit and wait it out. They were going to

0:27:40.960 --> 0:27:43.159
<v Speaker 2>book me in for another C section because the babies

0:27:43.160 --> 0:27:46.200
<v Speaker 2>were so close together. The hospital that I was going

0:27:46.240 --> 0:27:47.879
<v Speaker 2>to they didn't actually allow you to try for a

0:27:47.960 --> 0:27:50.320
<v Speaker 2>v back when the babies was close together as mine,

0:27:51.160 --> 0:27:53.480
<v Speaker 2>so and to after everything happen with Evelyn's birth, I

0:27:53.480 --> 0:27:56.400
<v Speaker 2>didn't mind the idea of having something planned and knowing

0:27:56.440 --> 0:27:59.240
<v Speaker 2>what I was expecting in a gap. I was worried

0:27:59.280 --> 0:28:02.240
<v Speaker 2>about going into labor earlier than I did because Evelyn

0:28:02.280 --> 0:28:04.080
<v Speaker 2>I was thirty eight weeks, so I wanted them to

0:28:04.119 --> 0:28:07.000
<v Speaker 2>book it in earlier, but they said, because of health reasons,

0:28:07.000 --> 0:28:08.680
<v Speaker 2>they wanted to wait till I was thirty eight or

0:28:08.680 --> 0:28:11.359
<v Speaker 2>thirty nine weeks, which was fine, but then, yeah, thirty

0:28:11.359 --> 0:28:13.040
<v Speaker 2>five weeks, I'm in a lot of pain. I called

0:28:13.080 --> 0:28:15.200
<v Speaker 2>the hospital and I was like, what do you want

0:28:15.200 --> 0:28:17.560
<v Speaker 2>me to do? And they were like, oh, and my

0:28:17.600 --> 0:28:19.960
<v Speaker 2>blood pressure throughout this pregnancy as well. I didn't touch

0:28:19.960 --> 0:28:21.560
<v Speaker 2>on that. My blood pressure was pretty good. I was

0:28:21.600 --> 0:28:24.080
<v Speaker 2>on medication the whole time, but it didn't I didn't

0:28:24.080 --> 0:28:25.879
<v Speaker 2>go completely off at lack last time, but it was

0:28:25.920 --> 0:28:29.120
<v Speaker 2>pretty manageable. Yeah, it's COVID as well. So we'd spent

0:28:29.359 --> 0:28:31.080
<v Speaker 2>most of the time just by ourselves.

0:28:31.240 --> 0:28:33.840
<v Speaker 1>So picture this baby that hasn't shut up and stopped

0:28:33.880 --> 0:28:35.440
<v Speaker 1>screaming through lockdowns as well.

0:28:35.480 --> 0:28:38.640
<v Speaker 2>You can't escape. It was pretty hrah. But she's a

0:28:38.680 --> 0:28:41.040
<v Speaker 2>beautiful girl. Now, she's the sweetest thing in the world.

0:28:41.160 --> 0:28:44.160
<v Speaker 2>She is it anyway, So I got rock up to hospital.

0:28:44.200 --> 0:28:47.400
<v Speaker 2>I drove myself. I didn't take my hospital bag because

0:28:47.400 --> 0:28:49.560
<v Speaker 2>I was like, nap, it's brax and Hicks. I'm being dramatic.

0:28:49.600 --> 0:28:51.480
<v Speaker 2>It's fine. And I'm on my way to the hospital

0:28:51.600 --> 0:28:54.280
<v Speaker 2>site a set of traffic lights and I started like

0:28:54.280 --> 0:28:55.760
<v Speaker 2>getting a contraction again, and I was.

0:28:55.720 --> 0:28:57.040
<v Speaker 1>Like, oooh, this hurts.

0:28:57.080 --> 0:28:59.240
<v Speaker 2>I forgot how much of these hats. And I was like,

0:28:59.280 --> 0:29:02.360
<v Speaker 2>I'm glad I'm going to hospital because you'll know, everyone's

0:29:02.360 --> 0:29:05.320
<v Speaker 2>pregnancies are different. But between my contractions I felt fine.

0:29:05.760 --> 0:29:08.240
<v Speaker 2>So if they're five minutes apart, you feel fine. You're like,

0:29:08.240 --> 0:29:10.160
<v Speaker 2>now it's being dramatic, it's fine. You talk yourself out

0:29:10.160 --> 0:29:12.040
<v Speaker 2>of it. So that's what i'd been doing for hours.

0:29:12.560 --> 0:29:15.120
<v Speaker 2>Rock up to hospital. They check me. I was once

0:29:15.120 --> 0:29:18.200
<v Speaker 2>centimeter dilated and they were like, oh, we're not sure,

0:29:18.280 --> 0:29:19.600
<v Speaker 2>like we're going to start you on meds, and my

0:29:19.600 --> 0:29:21.440
<v Speaker 2>blood pressure was up a bit too. So the drug

0:29:21.480 --> 0:29:25.680
<v Speaker 2>they give you to stop labor is also actually an

0:29:25.720 --> 0:29:29.800
<v Speaker 2>anti hypotensive medication. It's called nephetipine, so it was one

0:29:29.800 --> 0:29:32.000
<v Speaker 2>of the drugs I left hospital like I was on

0:29:32.040 --> 0:29:34.400
<v Speaker 2>when I left the hospital with Evelyn, So they had me.

0:29:34.520 --> 0:29:38.160
<v Speaker 2>They gave me so much of this medication like it was.

0:29:38.240 --> 0:29:41.120
<v Speaker 2>I think I had a couple of tablets every fifteen minutes,

0:29:41.120 --> 0:29:42.960
<v Speaker 2>and then they dropped it to every hour or two

0:29:43.120 --> 0:29:45.560
<v Speaker 2>because that's how they try to stop labor. They had

0:29:45.600 --> 0:29:48.080
<v Speaker 2>me on a drip to try to get more fluid

0:29:48.120 --> 0:29:50.200
<v Speaker 2>into me to see if it'll all stop. It didn't.

0:29:50.320 --> 0:29:53.720
<v Speaker 2>It just got worse and worse. My husband came the

0:29:53.760 --> 0:29:55.960
<v Speaker 2>next morning with one of his friends. He'd dropped Eavy

0:29:56.000 --> 0:29:57.560
<v Speaker 2>off with one of the neighbors. He got a friend

0:29:57.600 --> 0:29:58.840
<v Speaker 2>to drop him off so he could pick up the

0:29:58.920 --> 0:30:01.520
<v Speaker 2>car that I'd kindly left for him by driving myself.

0:30:02.240 --> 0:30:04.080
<v Speaker 2>He dropped off my bag, but he wasn't allowed into

0:30:04.120 --> 0:30:06.360
<v Speaker 2>the hospital because even though I was in layby, it

0:30:06.400 --> 0:30:08.880
<v Speaker 2>was COVID and until I was actually given birth, he

0:30:08.920 --> 0:30:13.040
<v Speaker 2>wasn't allowed in. I still remember he left the bag

0:30:13.040 --> 0:30:15.240
<v Speaker 2>with security because he wasn't allowed in, and he'd made

0:30:15.240 --> 0:30:18.080
<v Speaker 2>me a coffee and I love my morning coffee, and

0:30:18.160 --> 0:30:20.240
<v Speaker 2>he'd put it in a keep cup in a plastic

0:30:20.320 --> 0:30:22.360
<v Speaker 2>bag and put it in the front of my suitcase.

0:30:23.080 --> 0:30:25.560
<v Speaker 2>Security brought my bag up. He told me about the coffee,

0:30:25.560 --> 0:30:27.080
<v Speaker 2>so I pulled it out and one of the nurses

0:30:27.080 --> 0:30:29.520
<v Speaker 2>looked at me and she's like, you can't have that, and.

0:30:29.400 --> 0:30:31.160
<v Speaker 1>I was like, what do you mean.

0:30:32.040 --> 0:30:33.840
<v Speaker 2>So they would't let me eat or drink anything because

0:30:33.840 --> 0:30:35.480
<v Speaker 2>they didn't know what was gonna happen. So I just

0:30:35.480 --> 0:30:37.920
<v Speaker 2>couldn't drink this coffee, and I was so sad.

0:30:38.520 --> 0:30:42.000
<v Speaker 1>Sometimes it's a coffee that will actually send a woman

0:30:42.040 --> 0:30:44.400
<v Speaker 1>over the edge. Do you remember when I was at

0:30:44.400 --> 0:30:47.800
<v Speaker 1>that sleep school down in Camden and no one had

0:30:47.840 --> 0:30:51.560
<v Speaker 1>the iced coffee and I was walking through the streets sobbing.

0:30:52.240 --> 0:30:54.480
<v Speaker 1>Not one person get me a fucking piece of ice,

0:30:54.760 --> 0:30:55.360
<v Speaker 1>so I.

0:30:55.360 --> 0:30:58.160
<v Speaker 2>Couldn't have my coffee. They didn't let me eat anything.

0:30:58.200 --> 0:31:00.440
<v Speaker 2>I was there for all day. I had midwife coming

0:31:00.480 --> 0:31:02.320
<v Speaker 2>in and out and they'd come and check me. That'd

0:31:02.320 --> 0:31:04.000
<v Speaker 2>sit with me for a while and just see how

0:31:04.040 --> 0:31:06.600
<v Speaker 2>things were progressing. They started me at giving me steroids.

0:31:07.120 --> 0:31:08.640
<v Speaker 2>The hope was that they would be able to give

0:31:08.680 --> 0:31:11.080
<v Speaker 2>me two lots of steroids. I only ended up getting one.

0:31:11.720 --> 0:31:14.880
<v Speaker 2>The steroids help mature the baby's lungs. Then some of

0:31:14.920 --> 0:31:17.000
<v Speaker 2>the doctors came in and started to talk to me

0:31:17.080 --> 0:31:19.680
<v Speaker 2>and said, look, you're the only woman in this hospital

0:31:19.720 --> 0:31:22.480
<v Speaker 2>who doesn't have COVID. We're going to have to move you.

0:31:22.560 --> 0:31:26.480
<v Speaker 2>And I got so upset because I'd had Evelyn in

0:31:26.480 --> 0:31:29.640
<v Speaker 2>that hospital, and while her birth experience was terrible, I

0:31:29.680 --> 0:31:32.240
<v Speaker 2>felt safe because they'd saved my life last time. I

0:31:32.240 --> 0:31:34.440
<v Speaker 2>felt very safe and the idea of not being with

0:31:34.480 --> 0:31:36.760
<v Speaker 2>that specialist who looked after me last time, who'd seen

0:31:36.760 --> 0:31:39.480
<v Speaker 2>me through this whole pregnancy, and she she's lovely, shout

0:31:39.480 --> 0:31:45.960
<v Speaker 2>out dodtr macres. She's great, Like she's she's amazing. So

0:31:46.680 --> 0:31:49.000
<v Speaker 2>while I was pregnant with Wesley, I found the most

0:31:49.040 --> 0:31:51.840
<v Speaker 2>amazing GP. The doctor I've seen before was fine, but

0:31:51.880 --> 0:31:54.520
<v Speaker 2>I think I always felt resentful that I wasn't taken

0:31:54.560 --> 0:31:57.040
<v Speaker 2>seriously when Evelyn was small, like it was a really,

0:31:57.080 --> 0:32:00.880
<v Speaker 2>really terrible time. So I found this new do who

0:32:01.200 --> 0:32:04.160
<v Speaker 2>specializes looks after mums and babies, and she still I

0:32:04.240 --> 0:32:07.479
<v Speaker 2>travel to see her now, like she's the most amazing doctor,

0:32:08.120 --> 0:32:11.280
<v Speaker 2>Like she's so has that perfect balance of being friendly

0:32:11.320 --> 0:32:14.160
<v Speaker 2>and kind but also just being professional. So they told

0:32:14.160 --> 0:32:16.000
<v Speaker 2>me they were going to move me. I was very

0:32:16.120 --> 0:32:18.600
<v Speaker 2>upset about it, like I kept sobbing, and then they

0:32:18.600 --> 0:32:20.240
<v Speaker 2>felt so bad about it, and I was like I

0:32:20.360 --> 0:32:23.320
<v Speaker 2>really oh, I can't stop crying. But in the end,

0:32:23.360 --> 0:32:25.480
<v Speaker 2>so they had what they had one of the patient

0:32:25.480 --> 0:32:28.240
<v Speaker 2>transport vehicles come. They transferred me to a different hospital.

0:32:28.960 --> 0:32:32.680
<v Speaker 2>I was like having very frequent contractions and they I'd

0:32:32.680 --> 0:32:36.080
<v Speaker 2>asked for drugs, wasn't really given any, and they kept

0:32:36.120 --> 0:32:38.240
<v Speaker 2>asking me every time I'd go quite what was wrong?

0:32:38.320 --> 0:32:39.760
<v Speaker 2>It was driving me mad.

0:32:40.120 --> 0:32:43.560
<v Speaker 1>When I was in labor after contractions, sometimes Luke would

0:32:43.600 --> 0:32:47.040
<v Speaker 1>be like are you okay? And I still think back

0:32:47.040 --> 0:32:49.320
<v Speaker 1>to that and I wouldn't punch him in the face,

0:32:49.400 --> 0:32:52.440
<v Speaker 1>like are you joking? And I remember Emma calling me

0:32:52.880 --> 0:32:54.960
<v Speaker 1>or maybe I called you to check in because Dad

0:32:55.000 --> 0:32:58.520
<v Speaker 1>was like she was like bro, what But Emma goes

0:32:58.560 --> 0:33:02.840
<v Speaker 1>to me on the phone, I got how bud this is?

0:33:03.120 --> 0:33:05.920
<v Speaker 1>And you do you have to like block it out

0:33:05.920 --> 0:33:08.120
<v Speaker 1>of your mind? That pain?

0:33:08.560 --> 0:33:11.040
<v Speaker 2>Oh, I was so bad. So anyway, they transferred me

0:33:11.040 --> 0:33:13.360
<v Speaker 2>to this different hospital. I get in there, the midwife

0:33:13.400 --> 0:33:15.200
<v Speaker 2>goes to me, oh, you're not very far along, like

0:33:15.240 --> 0:33:17.560
<v Speaker 2>you'll be screaming, and Megula fuds. I'm not a screamer.

0:33:17.640 --> 0:33:20.360
<v Speaker 2>I'm not. Then they examined me and I was hating

0:33:20.440 --> 0:33:24.560
<v Speaker 2>a bit centimeters dilated and they're like, oh, okay, right,

0:33:24.680 --> 0:33:27.600
<v Speaker 2>we're gonna have to get you in now for a caesar.

0:33:28.320 --> 0:33:30.560
<v Speaker 2>So they took me in. I did end up actually

0:33:30.560 --> 0:33:33.920
<v Speaker 2>going under a general. I was so anxious. They put

0:33:33.960 --> 0:33:36.880
<v Speaker 2>the spinal in and I just kind of lost it

0:33:36.920 --> 0:33:39.520
<v Speaker 2>a little bit, and they kept saying to me, it's fine,

0:33:39.520 --> 0:33:41.720
<v Speaker 2>and had they had all the like the pediatric team

0:33:41.720 --> 0:33:43.240
<v Speaker 2>were there, and I'm looking up with all these doctors

0:33:43.240 --> 0:33:44.680
<v Speaker 2>and they're they're waiting to take my baby, and I

0:33:44.760 --> 0:33:46.680
<v Speaker 2>just kind of lost it. So they put me under.

0:33:47.320 --> 0:33:49.800
<v Speaker 2>I woke up. I was in recovery. I felt great,

0:33:49.840 --> 0:33:52.040
<v Speaker 2>my blood pressure was good. I was fine. I was

0:33:52.160 --> 0:33:53.680
<v Speaker 2>high as a kite because they gave me lots of

0:33:53.680 --> 0:33:56.560
<v Speaker 2>good meds. Adrian wasn't with me. So what happened with

0:33:56.600 --> 0:34:00.360
<v Speaker 2>Adrian was because I arrived at this different hospital and

0:34:00.400 --> 0:34:03.480
<v Speaker 2>then they found out how far along I was. They

0:34:04.120 --> 0:34:06.000
<v Speaker 2>called Adrian and were like, you need to come here

0:34:06.080 --> 0:34:08.080
<v Speaker 2>now if you want to be there for the birth.

0:34:08.640 --> 0:34:11.800
<v Speaker 2>He quickly called his friends who to look after Evelyn.

0:34:11.920 --> 0:34:13.960
<v Speaker 2>They rock up. They don't know anything about babies at

0:34:13.960 --> 0:34:15.600
<v Speaker 2>this point. They've had kids since and the great Dad's,

0:34:15.600 --> 0:34:18.480
<v Speaker 2>but at the time they didn't and so they they

0:34:18.480 --> 0:34:20.279
<v Speaker 2>did try their best, and then Kelly rocked up a

0:34:20.280 --> 0:34:22.359
<v Speaker 2>few hours later to find Eveylyn whod done a huge

0:34:22.360 --> 0:34:25.920
<v Speaker 2>pooh and didn't know what was going on. So Adrine

0:34:26.040 --> 0:34:28.319
<v Speaker 2>got to the hospital. But because I'd been under a

0:34:28.320 --> 0:34:31.160
<v Speaker 2>general they don't allow partners in, so Adrian he was

0:34:31.200 --> 0:34:33.960
<v Speaker 2>with the baby, who is now known as Puff or Wesley.

0:34:35.160 --> 0:34:36.520
<v Speaker 2>He came to see me and then he had to

0:34:36.600 --> 0:34:39.480
<v Speaker 2>leave because again because it was COVID and what had

0:34:39.520 --> 0:34:42.319
<v Speaker 2>happened was Wesley had actually needed to be resuscitated when

0:34:42.360 --> 0:34:44.280
<v Speaker 2>he was born, So I was very lucky. I wasn't awake.

0:34:44.880 --> 0:34:47.279
<v Speaker 2>He was having a lot of trouble breathing on his own,

0:34:47.600 --> 0:34:49.840
<v Speaker 2>so he was put up on a sea pat machine.

0:34:50.000 --> 0:34:53.560
<v Speaker 2>He also had was hyperglycemic, so he had no blood sugar,

0:34:53.640 --> 0:34:55.840
<v Speaker 2>so they had to start with this special type of

0:34:55.920 --> 0:34:57.839
<v Speaker 2>needle to get his blood sugar up and things like that.

0:34:57.840 --> 0:35:01.560
<v Speaker 2>He was a really sick little wea. The next day

0:35:01.680 --> 0:35:03.960
<v Speaker 2>Adrian came back to visit me to see Wesley. I

0:35:04.360 --> 0:35:06.520
<v Speaker 2>wasn't allowed to get up out of bed yet because

0:35:06.520 --> 0:35:08.359
<v Speaker 2>they'd had a caesar, so I couldn't go to see him,

0:35:08.360 --> 0:35:09.960
<v Speaker 2>and they couldn't bring him to see me because he

0:35:10.040 --> 0:35:12.440
<v Speaker 2>was on sea pap. Then they told me the hospital

0:35:12.480 --> 0:35:14.600
<v Speaker 2>they had moved me to was too small to cater

0:35:14.719 --> 0:35:16.680
<v Speaker 2>for his medical needs and they needed to move him.

0:35:17.200 --> 0:35:19.319
<v Speaker 2>So they got me up. Probably it was probably it

0:35:19.320 --> 0:35:22.000
<v Speaker 2>was over twenty four hours. It was like it was

0:35:22.120 --> 0:35:23.600
<v Speaker 2>quite a long time after he was born. But they

0:35:23.600 --> 0:35:25.399
<v Speaker 2>got me up and I got to go and see him,

0:35:25.400 --> 0:35:27.720
<v Speaker 2>which was really nice, and we got to have a cuddle.

0:35:28.080 --> 0:35:30.440
<v Speaker 2>He had his helmet, he had his cubby, his little oxygen.

0:35:30.440 --> 0:35:34.040
<v Speaker 1>Hebby knowing the Puff now, I mean he's called the

0:35:34.080 --> 0:35:37.000
<v Speaker 1>Puff because as a baby he looked like a little

0:35:37.080 --> 0:35:41.120
<v Speaker 1>cream puff, like he's so fair and round, so we

0:35:41.160 --> 0:35:44.759
<v Speaker 1>just started calling him Weszle Puff and then puff. But

0:35:44.840 --> 0:35:48.720
<v Speaker 1>the puff so round even as a tiny little PREMI

0:35:49.640 --> 0:35:51.880
<v Speaker 1>in his head gear and his little cubby.

0:35:51.960 --> 0:35:53.759
<v Speaker 2>I still remember they gave him to me to hold me,

0:35:53.800 --> 0:35:55.480
<v Speaker 2>and it was like he had all these wires and

0:35:55.480 --> 0:35:57.440
<v Speaker 2>all these doctors around watching him like I couldn't just

0:35:57.440 --> 0:35:59.600
<v Speaker 2>cuddle him, and I started sobbing. And I had not

0:35:59.719 --> 0:36:03.600
<v Speaker 2>cried this whole like I was so numb to everything

0:36:03.600 --> 0:36:05.800
<v Speaker 2>that had been going on. I just hadn't gotten upset,

0:36:05.800 --> 0:36:07.200
<v Speaker 2>and it was the first time I was like, I

0:36:07.280 --> 0:36:10.080
<v Speaker 2>was so upset that it did all happen in the

0:36:10.120 --> 0:36:15.239
<v Speaker 2>poor little darling. So the NETS team were amazing. They

0:36:15.960 --> 0:36:17.800
<v Speaker 2>packed him up and took him in this little oxyton

0:36:18.080 --> 0:36:21.120
<v Speaker 2>and took him away, which was very sad. And then

0:36:21.160 --> 0:36:22.799
<v Speaker 2>I had to stay in the hospital for another couple

0:36:22.840 --> 0:36:25.920
<v Speaker 2>of days, and then COVID went ballistic. There was like

0:36:26.080 --> 0:36:27.880
<v Speaker 2>when there were like forty k thousand cases to day

0:36:27.880 --> 0:36:29.719
<v Speaker 2>and stuff. So then Adrian was not allowed to come

0:36:29.719 --> 0:36:31.239
<v Speaker 2>and see me in the hospital. I was just there

0:36:31.280 --> 0:36:34.560
<v Speaker 2>by myself. I would call the other hospital every day

0:36:34.560 --> 0:36:37.319
<v Speaker 2>where Wessie was and just the nikki there and be like, hey,

0:36:37.480 --> 0:36:39.440
<v Speaker 2>how's he going, and they I remember one day that

0:36:39.520 --> 0:36:41.919
<v Speaker 2>nurse said to me, oh, the midwife or nurse said

0:36:41.920 --> 0:36:43.919
<v Speaker 2>to me, oh, well, he really needs some breast milk,

0:36:43.960 --> 0:36:46.440
<v Speaker 2>and I'm like, great, I've pumped it. It's in the fridge.

0:36:46.600 --> 0:36:48.399
<v Speaker 2>I'm not sure how you would like me to get

0:36:48.440 --> 0:36:50.600
<v Speaker 2>it there, given I can't leave and my husband can't

0:36:50.600 --> 0:36:52.880
<v Speaker 2>come in. And I didn't say that, but in hindsight,

0:36:52.920 --> 0:36:54.879
<v Speaker 2>I'm like, that was just a really mean thing to say.

0:36:55.520 --> 0:36:57.840
<v Speaker 2>I'd approve them to like to use formula. I was like,

0:36:57.880 --> 0:37:01.640
<v Speaker 2>to give him what he needs, please don't feed him

0:37:01.680 --> 0:37:03.759
<v Speaker 2>like it's fine. I'll give like I'm pumping now to

0:37:03.840 --> 0:37:06.759
<v Speaker 2>be fine anyway. Then I end up asking to go

0:37:06.880 --> 0:37:10.680
<v Speaker 2>home because there's fairly any nurses because of COVID. My

0:37:10.760 --> 0:37:13.200
<v Speaker 2>husband can't come home. I've got my first little baby

0:37:13.239 --> 0:37:15.040
<v Speaker 2>at home, the other one in another hospital. So I

0:37:15.080 --> 0:37:17.160
<v Speaker 2>asked to go home, and they're looking at me and

0:37:17.200 --> 0:37:18.520
<v Speaker 2>they sort of wanted to keep me there because they

0:37:18.560 --> 0:37:20.560
<v Speaker 2>thought something looked funny about the scar, but they were

0:37:20.640 --> 0:37:22.279
<v Speaker 2>in the end they being like, they said, no, go home.

0:37:22.640 --> 0:37:25.080
<v Speaker 2>I had to walk myself out of the hospital because

0:37:25.120 --> 0:37:26.920
<v Speaker 2>there wasn't enough nurse staff to help me, and my

0:37:27.000 --> 0:37:29.960
<v Speaker 2>husband wasn't allowed him. And that's after a C section,

0:37:30.120 --> 0:37:32.680
<v Speaker 2>so that was very painful. And he greeted me out

0:37:32.680 --> 0:37:35.040
<v Speaker 2>the front door and then I started sobbing again, and

0:37:35.080 --> 0:37:36.799
<v Speaker 2>then we went got to go and see where it's

0:37:36.920 --> 0:37:38.000
<v Speaker 2>at the hospital.

0:37:38.040 --> 0:37:40.560
<v Speaker 1>He was in, but you guys couldn't go in together.

0:37:40.680 --> 0:37:43.640
<v Speaker 1>And also bear in mind, like I mean, anyone that's

0:37:43.640 --> 0:37:47.879
<v Speaker 1>had two hunder two, well no, but think about your

0:37:48.000 --> 0:37:51.480
<v Speaker 1>child when they were fifteen months old. Ebie was a baby.

0:37:51.640 --> 0:37:54.960
<v Speaker 1>She was a baby, like she really just started walking.

0:37:55.280 --> 0:37:57.279
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, so we went and then he was still he

0:37:57.400 --> 0:37:59.680
<v Speaker 2>was at the hospital there for a couple of weeks,

0:38:00.000 --> 0:38:01.239
<v Speaker 2>so we would go to see him every day. We

0:38:01.239 --> 0:38:03.560
<v Speaker 2>weren't allowing together because of COVID, so we'd go one

0:38:03.560 --> 0:38:06.520
<v Speaker 2>after the other. He was doing pretty well, except because

0:38:06.560 --> 0:38:09.400
<v Speaker 2>he had had a bottle first. They think that's why

0:38:09.520 --> 0:38:12.279
<v Speaker 2>he didn't really ever take to breastfeeding. But I still

0:38:12.280 --> 0:38:13.880
<v Speaker 2>had a pretty good supply, so with we's I just

0:38:13.920 --> 0:38:16.600
<v Speaker 2>pumped all the time. It actually worked out really well,

0:38:16.640 --> 0:38:18.279
<v Speaker 2>so he always like he got a lot of breast milk.

0:38:18.280 --> 0:38:19.880
<v Speaker 2>Not that it's bad if your formula feed, because you're here.

0:38:19.880 --> 0:38:21.799
<v Speaker 2>I ended up giving up and did formula feed him,

0:38:21.800 --> 0:38:24.239
<v Speaker 2>So no judgment from me, but yeah, so that is

0:38:24.760 --> 0:38:27.000
<v Speaker 2>exact exactly. But because Adrian had this big lot of

0:38:27.040 --> 0:38:29.840
<v Speaker 2>time off, and because I felt like with Evelyn, I

0:38:29.880 --> 0:38:31.840
<v Speaker 2>gave up on so many things because she was so

0:38:31.920 --> 0:38:33.759
<v Speaker 2>unsettled and I felt like I was losing my mind

0:38:33.800 --> 0:38:37.240
<v Speaker 2>with where's I wanted to try so I and because

0:38:37.280 --> 0:38:39.560
<v Speaker 2>he was also prayer Mine, he'd be exposed extra germs

0:38:39.560 --> 0:38:41.520
<v Speaker 2>and stuff, so I wanted to just do anything I could.

0:38:42.040 --> 0:38:44.480
<v Speaker 2>Then we get told we can take him home. It's

0:38:44.560 --> 0:38:46.759
<v Speaker 2>really cool. So one thing they do went before you

0:38:46.840 --> 0:38:49.120
<v Speaker 2>take home a premie baby, if they've been in the hospitals,

0:38:49.120 --> 0:38:50.759
<v Speaker 2>they let you stay the night at the hospital with

0:38:50.800 --> 0:38:53.040
<v Speaker 2>them beforehand. So they have special room set up for

0:38:53.080 --> 0:38:54.960
<v Speaker 2>mums and they give you a night where you're feeding

0:38:55.000 --> 0:38:56.719
<v Speaker 2>them and you're just with them and the nursing team

0:38:56.760 --> 0:38:58.600
<v Speaker 2>and stuff. So we did that, which was really nice.

0:38:58.640 --> 0:39:00.760
<v Speaker 2>So because it got to the point where he'd off oxygen,

0:39:00.800 --> 0:39:04.719
<v Speaker 2>but he wasn't feeding properly himself, so he'd still needed

0:39:05.080 --> 0:39:08.719
<v Speaker 2>no nose chew feeding or whatever that's called. But yeah,

0:39:08.760 --> 0:39:10.759
<v Speaker 2>then he was feeding by himself for a couple of days.

0:39:10.760 --> 0:39:13.160
<v Speaker 2>Still not great, but because he was quite big and

0:39:13.280 --> 0:39:15.840
<v Speaker 2>chubby as he still is now, they weren't really concerned.

0:39:15.880 --> 0:39:17.239
<v Speaker 2>They just said I had to make sure I fed

0:39:17.320 --> 0:39:19.200
<v Speaker 2>him every two hours and then bring him back for

0:39:19.280 --> 0:39:22.959
<v Speaker 2>more regular checkups. So we brought Wesi home and he

0:39:23.080 --> 0:39:25.160
<v Speaker 2>compared to it like this, sounds terrible. He was a

0:39:25.239 --> 0:39:28.080
<v Speaker 2>dream baby, Like he was really chilled. And because they like.

0:39:28.120 --> 0:39:31.080
<v Speaker 1>They effectively sleep train when because they can't get to

0:39:31.160 --> 0:39:34.520
<v Speaker 1>a newborn every single second. So you kind of got

0:39:34.560 --> 0:39:37.520
<v Speaker 1>like this few weeks old sleep trained baby because the

0:39:37.520 --> 0:39:39.800
<v Speaker 1>baby's like, I guess help isn't coming.

0:39:40.440 --> 0:39:42.840
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, Like it sounds terrible. That's the one perk, Like

0:39:42.880 --> 0:39:45.239
<v Speaker 2>you've got to look at the positives, Like he came

0:39:45.280 --> 0:39:48.759
<v Speaker 2>out on a schedule and just he was chilled. He

0:39:48.840 --> 0:39:52.200
<v Speaker 2>did get quite unsettled for a little while, but it

0:39:52.280 --> 0:39:54.959
<v Speaker 2>was all the things like I'd been through with Evely

0:39:55.000 --> 0:39:56.799
<v Speaker 2>and I didn't really beat around the bush. Plus I

0:39:56.840 --> 0:39:59.680
<v Speaker 2>have had this amazing GP. So I went into his

0:39:59.680 --> 0:40:02.959
<v Speaker 2>six and I was like, look, he's sleeping pretty well.

0:40:03.120 --> 0:40:06.479
<v Speaker 2>He's vomiting quite a lot, especially after feeds, his arching back,

0:40:06.600 --> 0:40:09.680
<v Speaker 2>his et cetera. And so they ended up putting him

0:40:09.680 --> 0:40:12.680
<v Speaker 2>on reflux meds and he was really good. He had

0:40:12.840 --> 0:40:15.279
<v Speaker 2>one pooh that was a bit bloody. So he was

0:40:15.320 --> 0:40:18.360
<v Speaker 2>on sort of a synthesized formula because I stoppedreastfeeding with

0:40:18.360 --> 0:40:20.080
<v Speaker 2>Wezzy at six weeks when Agel went back to work,

0:40:20.080 --> 0:40:21.960
<v Speaker 2>because he's still he wouldn't take the boob. So I

0:40:22.000 --> 0:40:23.480
<v Speaker 2>was pumping and stuff, and I was like, you know what,

0:40:23.520 --> 0:40:26.640
<v Speaker 2>that's enough. He got it to these vaccinations, he's fine. Yeah,

0:40:26.640 --> 0:40:28.879
<v Speaker 2>we started him on formula. The formula we fed him,

0:40:28.880 --> 0:40:30.040
<v Speaker 2>he had a bit of blood in his poos, so

0:40:30.120 --> 0:40:33.560
<v Speaker 2>they suggested with evidence history to go on the dairy

0:40:33.600 --> 0:40:37.719
<v Speaker 2>formula again, but because of COVID and the issues with formula,

0:40:37.800 --> 0:40:40.680
<v Speaker 2>I couldn't actually get it. But I found this other

0:40:40.800 --> 0:40:43.520
<v Speaker 2>brand that still had dairy in it, but it was synthesized,

0:40:43.560 --> 0:40:45.480
<v Speaker 2>so we used that with Wezzy and it was great.

0:40:45.520 --> 0:40:47.279
<v Speaker 2>He actually was fine. And then a couple of months

0:40:47.320 --> 0:40:49.120
<v Speaker 2>later we got him on normal formula and he didn't

0:40:49.160 --> 0:40:51.440
<v Speaker 2>have the same issues, but he did have pretty bad reflux.

0:40:52.000 --> 0:40:54.879
<v Speaker 2>Every time his medication like needed upping so he'd put

0:40:54.920 --> 0:40:57.040
<v Speaker 2>on weight, he just starts vomiting everywhere all the time.

0:40:57.080 --> 0:40:59.319
<v Speaker 2>It was really funny, like it sounds terrible, not he

0:40:59.320 --> 0:41:01.000
<v Speaker 2>wasn't in pain, but he would just like sit there

0:41:01.040 --> 0:41:04.560
<v Speaker 2>and start vomiting everywhere. So he was on. He was

0:41:04.560 --> 0:41:07.439
<v Speaker 2>on that till just over one and he was look,

0:41:07.440 --> 0:41:09.560
<v Speaker 2>he was Wesley was He was quite a good baby,

0:41:09.560 --> 0:41:11.440
<v Speaker 2>but he was a sick baby. He we were in

0:41:11.480 --> 0:41:14.120
<v Speaker 2>and out of hospital with him multiple times. He kept

0:41:14.120 --> 0:41:16.240
<v Speaker 2>getting bronchiolitis.

0:41:15.600 --> 0:41:18.040
<v Speaker 1>I never realized, and two he had wes. What a

0:41:18.080 --> 0:41:20.640
<v Speaker 1>difference those last few weeks make in terms of their

0:41:20.719 --> 0:41:25.040
<v Speaker 1>lung development because his little lungs. He struggled so much.

0:41:24.840 --> 0:41:26.520
<v Speaker 2>When I had Evely, and I remember getting to the

0:41:26.560 --> 0:41:28.480
<v Speaker 2>end of my pregnancy being like, oh, I just want

0:41:28.560 --> 0:41:30.480
<v Speaker 2>him to get like, I just want to get him out.

0:41:30.520 --> 0:41:32.279
<v Speaker 2>And one of this woman I worked with, who was

0:41:32.280 --> 0:41:34.160
<v Speaker 2>also a doctor, said to me, Oh, no, you want

0:41:34.160 --> 0:41:36.839
<v Speaker 2>to keep him in there every day you can. And

0:41:36.880 --> 0:41:39.600
<v Speaker 2>I didn't realize how important it was. But he kept

0:41:39.640 --> 0:41:42.360
<v Speaker 2>getting sick, obviously as all kids do, but he couldn't

0:41:42.360 --> 0:41:44.520
<v Speaker 2>fight it. He ended up in hospital multiple times. He

0:41:44.560 --> 0:41:48.440
<v Speaker 2>had bronchiolitis multiple multiple times. And for any parent who's

0:41:48.640 --> 0:41:52.440
<v Speaker 2>hurt a kid with it, oh, it's absolutely horrible, Like

0:41:53.880 --> 0:41:56.160
<v Speaker 2>they can't yet It's like so basically it happens is

0:41:56.200 --> 0:41:58.560
<v Speaker 2>when all of the aole lie in their in their

0:41:58.640 --> 0:42:01.879
<v Speaker 2>lungs gets filled with so it's like the snot from

0:42:01.880 --> 0:42:04.719
<v Speaker 2>your nose is through their lungs and the only way

0:42:04.719 --> 0:42:06.799
<v Speaker 2>to get it out is the hospital does is It's

0:42:06.880 --> 0:42:09.360
<v Speaker 2>really it's pretty horrible to watch your baby go through it.

0:42:09.400 --> 0:42:11.680
<v Speaker 2>But it does help is they literally stick the suction

0:42:11.800 --> 0:42:14.840
<v Speaker 2>tubes down their nose and airways and suck all the

0:42:14.880 --> 0:42:18.560
<v Speaker 2>gunk out, and they literally can fill tubes with it.

0:42:18.560 --> 0:42:20.560
<v Speaker 2>It's gross, but it's the only thing that helps them

0:42:20.680 --> 0:42:23.400
<v Speaker 2>is their relief of breathing. But so, yeah, he was

0:42:23.440 --> 0:42:25.200
<v Speaker 2>in and out of hospital a fair bit. Poor Kell.

0:42:25.239 --> 0:42:27.200
<v Speaker 2>We had Evelyn dumped on her quite a number of

0:42:27.200 --> 0:42:29.680
<v Speaker 2>times because at that point Adrian also changed jobs to

0:42:29.760 --> 0:42:32.200
<v Speaker 2>try to be home more with us, and because it

0:42:32.360 --> 0:42:35.600
<v Speaker 2>started a new job, he obviously had to take leave.

0:42:35.600 --> 0:42:36.960
<v Speaker 2>But it got to the point where it was so

0:42:37.040 --> 0:42:40.480
<v Speaker 2>often and frequent, like we had to come up with

0:42:40.920 --> 0:42:47.440
<v Speaker 2>Kell as our BABYSITTERU, why.

0:42:47.600 --> 0:42:50.719
<v Speaker 1>Like me and my sister we have awful births and

0:42:50.840 --> 0:42:54.200
<v Speaker 1>awful babies. And yes we're very lucky of course that

0:42:54.239 --> 0:42:57.680
<v Speaker 1>we've got healthy baby. Well now they're healthy, but like

0:42:58.160 --> 0:43:02.440
<v Speaker 1>we do not labor welld you not birth? Well? We

0:43:02.600 --> 0:43:04.440
<v Speaker 1>do not have good newborns.

0:43:04.239 --> 0:43:06.680
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, we don't. But he was always sick. He was

0:43:06.719 --> 0:43:09.400
<v Speaker 2>really happy, like he was a pretty he was. He loved,

0:43:09.440 --> 0:43:11.560
<v Speaker 2>like it sounds silly, he loved the dancing fruits on TV.

0:43:11.680 --> 0:43:13.920
<v Speaker 2>He just frothed on it. One morning, my husband I

0:43:13.920 --> 0:43:15.680
<v Speaker 2>were out for breakfast and he just fell asleep sitting

0:43:15.719 --> 0:43:18.640
<v Speaker 2>on Adrian's lap at breakfast, like he was really happy

0:43:18.640 --> 0:43:21.520
<v Speaker 2>little boy, but he just got so sick. The last time.

0:43:21.600 --> 0:43:23.640
<v Speaker 2>I just remember the last time he got really sick.

0:43:24.200 --> 0:43:26.319
<v Speaker 2>He was over one, and I thought by that point

0:43:26.360 --> 0:43:28.960
<v Speaker 2>he should be better. And Evelyn had been sick all

0:43:28.960 --> 0:43:31.160
<v Speaker 2>week and she'd had croups. So everyone knows as well

0:43:31.200 --> 0:43:33.080
<v Speaker 2>how horrible that, especially the first time when you think

0:43:33.080 --> 0:43:36.239
<v Speaker 2>they're dying and you think you're choking because and they're

0:43:36.280 --> 0:43:39.279
<v Speaker 2>vomiting up by and can't breathe, and so you rush

0:43:39.320 --> 0:43:41.640
<v Speaker 2>him to hospital. And so she'd had that, and then

0:43:41.800 --> 0:43:43.920
<v Speaker 2>she'd been sick and fussy all week, and then it

0:43:43.960 --> 0:43:45.440
<v Speaker 2>got to the Friday and I'm looking at Were's and

0:43:45.480 --> 0:43:48.400
<v Speaker 2>I'd seen the doctor every single day that week. My

0:43:48.480 --> 0:43:50.399
<v Speaker 2>doctor again was amazing. I'd call up in the morning

0:43:50.400 --> 0:43:52.719
<v Speaker 2>and say I'm really sorry, and they'd be like fuck,

0:43:52.760 --> 0:43:54.359
<v Speaker 2>and they'd always find a way to fit us him.

0:43:55.080 --> 0:43:57.520
<v Speaker 2>So that Friday, I'm looking at Where's and I'm like,

0:43:57.600 --> 0:43:59.799
<v Speaker 2>he doesn't look right. And he had a little bit

0:43:59.840 --> 0:44:01.799
<v Speaker 2>of he was retracting a little bit. He had this

0:44:01.840 --> 0:44:03.800
<v Speaker 2>with the wheeze and I said to my husband, I

0:44:03.840 --> 0:44:05.239
<v Speaker 2>think we need to take him back to the doctor.

0:44:05.280 --> 0:44:07.120
<v Speaker 2>And he's like, and we can't go to the doctor again, Like,

0:44:07.520 --> 0:44:10.000
<v Speaker 2>surely not. And so I called my our dad. So

0:44:10.040 --> 0:44:12.560
<v Speaker 2>our dad's a paramedic, and he has been a life

0:44:12.560 --> 0:44:14.600
<v Speaker 2>saver for us, I think a few times with kids,

0:44:14.600 --> 0:44:17.200
<v Speaker 2>like whenever there's something wrong, he always tells us what

0:44:17.320 --> 0:44:19.319
<v Speaker 2>to do. And he's not the type like he let

0:44:19.400 --> 0:44:21.480
<v Speaker 2>me ski for three days with a broken arm in

0:44:21.560 --> 0:44:23.959
<v Speaker 2>our sixteen He's not a soft man.

0:44:24.200 --> 0:44:29.040
<v Speaker 1>There is absolutely no room for hypochondria in our family hysterics.

0:44:29.960 --> 0:44:32.600
<v Speaker 1>We grew up with a very tough and up mentality,

0:44:32.640 --> 0:44:34.640
<v Speaker 1>one that we probably will not be passing on to

0:44:34.719 --> 0:44:37.879
<v Speaker 1>our children. But you know, it's rare for him to say,

0:44:37.920 --> 0:44:39.000
<v Speaker 1>got to the hospital.

0:44:39.080 --> 0:44:41.200
<v Speaker 2>But with Wesley, quite a number of times i'd send

0:44:41.239 --> 0:44:42.920
<v Speaker 2>him videos of his breathing and he'd be like, take

0:44:43.000 --> 0:44:46.239
<v Speaker 2>him straight to hospital. He's a heart, yes, yes, And

0:44:46.280 --> 0:44:48.319
<v Speaker 2>this day I called him and there's this thing with

0:44:48.320 --> 0:44:50.319
<v Speaker 2>babies we account It's called their respiratory rate, so you

0:44:50.360 --> 0:44:52.720
<v Speaker 2>basically count how many times you can see them breathing.

0:44:53.120 --> 0:44:57.040
<v Speaker 2>Wesley's was continuously quite high, and he was retracting, so

0:44:57.760 --> 0:44:59.520
<v Speaker 2>I went to see the GP. She looked at me

0:44:59.560 --> 0:45:01.120
<v Speaker 2>and she's like, sick, he's in. I was like, I

0:45:01.160 --> 0:45:03.120
<v Speaker 2>was like, I don't even know anymore. And she took

0:45:03.200 --> 0:45:05.000
<v Speaker 2>him in. She's like, yeah, no, he's pretty sicky. Gonna

0:45:05.000 --> 0:45:06.560
<v Speaker 2>have to take him to hospital or write your letter.

0:45:07.000 --> 0:45:08.919
<v Speaker 2>So I took him in. We waited for about three hours,

0:45:08.920 --> 0:45:09.960
<v Speaker 2>and in the end, I said to one of the

0:45:10.000 --> 0:45:12.719
<v Speaker 2>nurses because there'd been a few times we'd been that

0:45:12.800 --> 0:45:15.200
<v Speaker 2>they just sent me home because they'd looked at him

0:45:15.200 --> 0:45:16.839
<v Speaker 2>and they're like, yeah, he has a virus, bring him

0:45:16.880 --> 0:45:19.800
<v Speaker 2>back if he gets worse. Like they hadn't really taken

0:45:19.840 --> 0:45:21.880
<v Speaker 2>it very seriously, and so in the end I'd be

0:45:21.880 --> 0:45:24.959
<v Speaker 2>seeing my GP every day instead of the hospital because

0:45:25.000 --> 0:45:28.560
<v Speaker 2>they're also so busy over COVID. So I wondered if

0:45:28.600 --> 0:45:30.480
<v Speaker 2>this was going to be one of those times because

0:45:30.600 --> 0:45:33.279
<v Speaker 2>they just we just waited for so long. In the end,

0:45:33.280 --> 0:45:34.680
<v Speaker 2>they were like, let us look at him again, and

0:45:34.680 --> 0:45:37.000
<v Speaker 2>they did and they were like, no, you're not going home.

0:45:37.440 --> 0:45:39.440
<v Speaker 2>So they took us in and then he ended up

0:45:39.480 --> 0:45:41.840
<v Speaker 2>on oxygen. We were there for three or four days

0:45:41.920 --> 0:45:44.239
<v Speaker 2>or the poor little thing like he's seeing.

0:45:44.000 --> 0:45:44.840
<v Speaker 1>Like, oh, it was.

0:45:44.960 --> 0:45:47.080
<v Speaker 2>It was actually it was heartbreaking, the poor little thing.

0:45:47.120 --> 0:45:49.960
<v Speaker 2>He was so sick. His heart rate was so high,

0:45:50.080 --> 0:45:52.640
<v Speaker 2>like he was so unsettled. He's always loved his weetbis though,

0:45:52.680 --> 0:45:55.680
<v Speaker 2>so that was really handy because he would he wouldn't

0:45:55.760 --> 0:45:58.560
<v Speaker 2>drink any fluids, but he'd loved wheat pics, so I

0:45:58.600 --> 0:46:00.480
<v Speaker 2>could always give him wheat picks and eat it.

0:46:01.080 --> 0:46:04.080
<v Speaker 1>I've just remembered, Wesley. I love that you like. He's

0:46:04.120 --> 0:46:08.560
<v Speaker 1>such an easy baby. He wouldn't drink fluids for months

0:46:08.560 --> 0:46:11.480
<v Speaker 1>at a time out of a sippy cup or a bottle,

0:46:11.560 --> 0:46:14.560
<v Speaker 1>like she couldn't fit. So Emma had to syringe him

0:46:15.120 --> 0:46:19.480
<v Speaker 1>all his fluids for months because the bloke wouldn't learn

0:46:19.520 --> 0:46:21.279
<v Speaker 1>how to use a bloody sippy cup.

0:46:21.640 --> 0:46:23.000
<v Speaker 2>We did have to do that, we had to, so

0:46:23.200 --> 0:46:24.960
<v Speaker 2>it was probably good two to three month period where

0:46:24.960 --> 0:46:27.680
<v Speaker 2>he took through his bottles, couldn't deal with a straw,

0:46:27.960 --> 0:46:30.960
<v Speaker 2>and so every ten minutes I just syringe, keep syringing

0:46:30.960 --> 0:46:32.719
<v Speaker 2>in ten meals of water like we just did it

0:46:32.800 --> 0:46:35.160
<v Speaker 2>all the time, and then just gave him wheat bix

0:46:35.200 --> 0:46:36.799
<v Speaker 2>because he was obsessed with it. He used to wake

0:46:36.880 --> 0:46:39.560
<v Speaker 2>up at two am most mornings, have two wheat bicks

0:46:39.600 --> 0:46:41.960
<v Speaker 2>and then go back to sleep like that was just

0:46:42.040 --> 0:46:44.480
<v Speaker 2>his thing, like he but so he always had enough fluid.

0:46:44.600 --> 0:46:46.759
<v Speaker 2>I promise I didn't deprive him and leave him dehydrated.

0:46:46.800 --> 0:46:48.680
<v Speaker 2>He had enough fluid. But yeah, So that was the

0:46:48.760 --> 0:46:51.719
<v Speaker 2>last time he was really sick, and since then it's

0:46:51.719 --> 0:46:53.880
<v Speaker 2>gotten better. But I think it left just quite anxious

0:46:53.920 --> 0:46:56.080
<v Speaker 2>for quite a long time every time he was unwell,

0:46:56.120 --> 0:46:58.759
<v Speaker 2>because he was just it just progressed so quickly, and

0:46:59.239 --> 0:47:02.279
<v Speaker 2>two under twos very hard. There were nights where Evie

0:47:02.320 --> 0:47:05.279
<v Speaker 2>wouldn't sleep and he wouldn't sleep without me there. So

0:47:05.320 --> 0:47:07.760
<v Speaker 2>I'd be patting him to sleep, and Evelyn to sleep

0:47:07.840 --> 0:47:09.759
<v Speaker 2>lying on the floor next to her, cot with him

0:47:09.760 --> 0:47:12.160
<v Speaker 2>on the floor next to me. I also was working

0:47:12.200 --> 0:47:15.000
<v Speaker 2>at that time too, because in this financial climate we

0:47:15.040 --> 0:47:18.799
<v Speaker 2>all need to and also I felt like work was

0:47:18.840 --> 0:47:22.640
<v Speaker 2>a break that I didn't feel guilty about. So I

0:47:22.719 --> 0:47:25.000
<v Speaker 2>quite enjoyed going back to work with both the kids.

0:47:25.040 --> 0:47:27.720
<v Speaker 2>That gave me an outlet. Plus I had, particularly with Evelyn,

0:47:27.800 --> 0:47:31.960
<v Speaker 2>I had the most amazing manager who was so understanding

0:47:32.000 --> 0:47:34.319
<v Speaker 2>and kind and actually she actually she was managing me

0:47:34.320 --> 0:47:36.040
<v Speaker 2>for a while when I first went back with Wes,

0:47:36.680 --> 0:47:38.920
<v Speaker 2>and she just was Yeah, she was incredible she really

0:47:39.000 --> 0:47:41.600
<v Speaker 2>looked after me, and it made me want to work

0:47:41.640 --> 0:47:44.600
<v Speaker 2>harder too when I could, because she just made me

0:47:44.640 --> 0:47:47.279
<v Speaker 2>want to make her life easier. So it was really

0:47:47.280 --> 0:47:49.879
<v Speaker 2>hard having two under two. But once the sickness subsided,

0:47:49.960 --> 0:47:52.799
<v Speaker 2>things started to get a lot easier. And I think

0:47:52.840 --> 0:47:55.160
<v Speaker 2>it's probably only been over the past six to twelve

0:47:55.160 --> 0:47:57.920
<v Speaker 2>months things have felt normal and we've sort of I

0:47:57.960 --> 0:48:01.920
<v Speaker 2>feel a little bit less horned buy everything. I don't know.

0:48:01.960 --> 0:48:04.880
<v Speaker 2>I still like find it really upsetting to talk about it,

0:48:05.000 --> 0:48:07.640
<v Speaker 2>especially with Wesley. I thought I might get like a

0:48:08.040 --> 0:48:10.520
<v Speaker 2>healing kind of birth, like I thought that might happen,

0:48:10.560 --> 0:48:13.640
<v Speaker 2>and then that wasn't the case. This sounds really woo woo,

0:48:13.760 --> 0:48:16.879
<v Speaker 2>but I can't help but flack. So when I went

0:48:16.920 --> 0:48:19.120
<v Speaker 2>in and my blood pressure was up, the medication brought

0:48:19.120 --> 0:48:21.360
<v Speaker 2>it all down. And like they do say that baby's

0:48:21.360 --> 0:48:24.120
<v Speaker 2>bodies also protect the mums, but then that makes me

0:48:24.120 --> 0:48:26.440
<v Speaker 2>feel terrible because then I'm like, well, then he was

0:48:26.440 --> 0:48:29.360
<v Speaker 2>so sick, so if his little body did that for mine, like,

0:48:29.400 --> 0:48:31.520
<v Speaker 2>it just makes me feel awful. Plus I did I

0:48:31.520 --> 0:48:33.879
<v Speaker 2>had a chocolate thick shake from McDonald's the week before,

0:48:33.920 --> 0:48:38.280
<v Speaker 2>and I was worried that had sent me into preterm labor, and.

0:48:37.080 --> 0:48:39.800
<v Speaker 1>You gave your baby with listeria, if you want to

0:48:39.880 --> 0:48:43.840
<v Speaker 1>use that logic, your body grew him for nine months

0:48:44.200 --> 0:48:48.200
<v Speaker 1>and protected him and gave him his limbs and those

0:48:48.239 --> 0:48:51.719
<v Speaker 1>delicious chubby little thighs and those big round cheeks and

0:48:51.760 --> 0:48:54.200
<v Speaker 1>that puffy head that he refuses to let anyone cut.

0:48:55.360 --> 0:48:59.240
<v Speaker 1>So the moral of the story is that fertility makes

0:48:59.320 --> 0:49:04.399
<v Speaker 1>no sense and countryception doesn't really work. Not to trust it.

0:49:05.040 --> 0:49:09.920
<v Speaker 1>And yeah, so what would you say the biggest takeaways?

0:49:09.920 --> 0:49:12.640
<v Speaker 1>What are your pros and cons of having two so

0:49:12.800 --> 0:49:13.920
<v Speaker 1>close together? Oh?

0:49:14.120 --> 0:49:16.319
<v Speaker 2>Look, they love each other now and I love that.

0:49:16.920 --> 0:49:18.799
<v Speaker 2>I don't know if i'd recommend it or not, because

0:49:18.800 --> 0:49:21.239
<v Speaker 2>it was so hard. I remember everyone telling me, Oh,

0:49:21.280 --> 0:49:23.600
<v Speaker 2>it's gonna get easier. I promise it'll go fast. When

0:49:23.640 --> 0:49:26.040
<v Speaker 2>you're in it, it doesn't feel like it. Everyone would say, oh,

0:49:26.080 --> 0:49:28.240
<v Speaker 2>four months it will get better, six months will get better.

0:49:28.440 --> 0:49:32.080
<v Speaker 2>That never happened, and so I get better. No, and

0:49:32.120 --> 0:49:34.400
<v Speaker 2>so for all like it, I don't know, Like I

0:49:34.520 --> 0:49:36.480
<v Speaker 2>just I feel so bad for any women who are

0:49:36.480 --> 0:49:39.920
<v Speaker 2>going through it because it's so so horrible, and you

0:49:40.000 --> 0:49:42.360
<v Speaker 2>feel so guilty for feeling that it's so horrible, and

0:49:42.400 --> 0:49:44.279
<v Speaker 2>you are so grateful because all you want is a

0:49:44.280 --> 0:49:46.680
<v Speaker 2>baby like that, so many women don't get to have,

0:49:46.719 --> 0:49:49.839
<v Speaker 2>and that also just sucks. It's just I just feel

0:49:49.880 --> 0:49:51.600
<v Speaker 2>so bad for any woman who's going through it, Like

0:49:51.640 --> 0:49:53.920
<v Speaker 2>I promise you're not alone. Like it sucks. It's the

0:49:53.960 --> 0:49:55.360
<v Speaker 2>worst horrible thing ever.

0:49:55.440 --> 0:49:59.840
<v Speaker 1>And it sucks. But advocate for yourself and your baby.

0:50:00.200 --> 0:50:04.160
<v Speaker 1>Make someone listen to you. Everyone knows that babies cry,

0:50:04.360 --> 0:50:07.799
<v Speaker 1>like you're delusional if you think that they don't, like,

0:50:07.840 --> 0:50:10.880
<v Speaker 1>no one's that silly. But baby's not meant to scream

0:50:10.920 --> 0:50:14.600
<v Speaker 1>in agony for hours and hours and hours for a

0:50:14.640 --> 0:50:19.360
<v Speaker 1>prolonged period of time. So advocate for yourself and your baby.

0:50:19.400 --> 0:50:21.840
<v Speaker 2>But also I think watch out for and I'm not

0:50:21.880 --> 0:50:24.560
<v Speaker 2>saying other people your responsibility, but watch out for your

0:50:24.560 --> 0:50:26.279
<v Speaker 2>friends and family. Because it did get to the point

0:50:26.320 --> 0:50:28.560
<v Speaker 2>where I didn't feel like I could even talk about it.

0:50:28.880 --> 0:50:31.680
<v Speaker 2>I didn't feel like I could describe it. People would

0:50:31.719 --> 0:50:34.160
<v Speaker 2>say like, oh, and I ended up writing before a

0:50:34.160 --> 0:50:37.080
<v Speaker 2>few doctor's appointments. I found myself hating to write list

0:50:37.600 --> 0:50:40.160
<v Speaker 2>so I'd be like, Okay, cried from this point in

0:50:40.200 --> 0:50:41.960
<v Speaker 2>time to this point of time, and did X, Y

0:50:42.000 --> 0:50:44.880
<v Speaker 2>and Z this Pooh looked like this, cried here, slept

0:50:44.920 --> 0:50:46.520
<v Speaker 2>like this, Like I wrote these notes and I had

0:50:46.600 --> 0:50:48.680
<v Speaker 2>to just give it to them because I couldn't say it.

0:50:49.080 --> 0:50:53.200
<v Speaker 2>I just felt so overwhelmed and terrible and that I

0:50:53.360 --> 0:50:55.080
<v Speaker 2>was doing something wrong in all of this, and I

0:50:55.800 --> 0:50:58.360
<v Speaker 2>just wanted these babies and I was just failing at it.

0:50:58.080 --> 0:51:00.959
<v Speaker 2>It was horrible. So I'd say, you try to watch

0:51:00.960 --> 0:51:03.879
<v Speaker 2>out for other people, Like I get anxious ridiculously when

0:51:03.880 --> 0:51:05.960
<v Speaker 2>some of my friends have kids, because I'm like, I

0:51:06.000 --> 0:51:07.719
<v Speaker 2>hate the idea of someone else going through that and

0:51:07.760 --> 0:51:09.480
<v Speaker 2>feeling like they can't talk about it.

0:51:09.840 --> 0:51:12.399
<v Speaker 1>I could not agree more. And I remember I think

0:51:12.400 --> 0:51:14.880
<v Speaker 1>it was summy when she had a baby, you know,

0:51:15.000 --> 0:51:17.000
<v Speaker 1>she said in a group text she was like, yeah,

0:51:17.000 --> 0:51:19.400
<v Speaker 1>everything's really good, and I was like, then sent her

0:51:19.440 --> 0:51:22.319
<v Speaker 1>a private message being like, how are you really and

0:51:22.360 --> 0:51:25.080
<v Speaker 1>she's like, no, no, kel, I appreciate you, but actually

0:51:25.160 --> 0:51:28.400
<v Speaker 1>I'm fuck because I just assume that everyone's having an

0:51:28.440 --> 0:51:34.319
<v Speaker 1>awful time. But that actually isn't a normal, healthy lived experience. Sorry,

0:51:34.360 --> 0:51:36.879
<v Speaker 1>I should say it's very normal because it happens a lot,

0:51:36.960 --> 0:51:40.759
<v Speaker 1>but that's not the norm. You shouldn't be miserable all

0:51:40.840 --> 0:51:42.920
<v Speaker 1>day every day and your baby shouldn't be either.

0:51:42.880 --> 0:51:44.359
<v Speaker 2>And I found that too, Like I messaged a lot

0:51:44.360 --> 0:51:46.560
<v Speaker 2>of my friends, they're like, Emma, I'm sure, we're promised,

0:51:46.600 --> 0:51:49.120
<v Speaker 2>we're fine. But I did have one girlfriend too, hope

0:51:49.160 --> 0:51:50.480
<v Speaker 2>she doesn't mind me talking about, but she had a

0:51:50.480 --> 0:51:52.759
<v Speaker 2>really terrible sleeper, Like he was a happy little boy,

0:51:52.760 --> 0:51:55.560
<v Speaker 2>but he's a terrible sleeper. And we messaged a fair

0:51:55.640 --> 0:51:59.320
<v Speaker 2>bit because then it's just nice to know that, like,

0:51:59.400 --> 0:52:01.440
<v Speaker 2>as much as sucks, you're not going to die, like

0:52:01.520 --> 0:52:03.720
<v Speaker 2>you can google, can I die from lack of sleep?

0:52:03.800 --> 0:52:05.560
<v Speaker 2>Or am I gonna? Like?

0:52:05.960 --> 0:52:06.160
<v Speaker 1>Yeah?

0:52:06.200 --> 0:52:08.480
<v Speaker 2>But you like it's nice to I don't know. Sometimes

0:52:08.480 --> 0:52:10.920
<v Speaker 2>it's nice just to sit with someone who understands it.

0:52:11.000 --> 0:52:14.200
<v Speaker 2>Like Kell and I when the boys were small, we

0:52:14.280 --> 0:52:15.640
<v Speaker 2>would just sit together.

0:52:15.840 --> 0:52:16.000
<v Speaker 1>Wow.

0:52:16.040 --> 0:52:17.400
<v Speaker 2>Well she wasn't a mat leave, but I was on

0:52:17.480 --> 0:52:19.880
<v Speaker 2>that leave and we'd just sit together. Sometimes days we

0:52:19.880 --> 0:52:22.680
<v Speaker 2>wouldn't even talk, but we'd just be there in each

0:52:22.719 --> 0:52:23.480
<v Speaker 2>other's company.

0:52:23.880 --> 0:52:25.800
<v Speaker 1>Sometimes we still do that to be fair. On a

0:52:25.840 --> 0:52:28.600
<v Speaker 1>Saturday morning, if the kids are being awful, we'll look

0:52:28.640 --> 0:52:31.279
<v Speaker 1>at each other and then we'll be like, it's nine am.

0:52:32.040 --> 0:52:34.439
<v Speaker 1>How have we already lived like an entire week? It's

0:52:34.640 --> 0:52:39.120
<v Speaker 1>nine am, Well, thank you so much for joining us today.

0:52:39.239 --> 0:52:43.680
<v Speaker 1>M M is a notoriously private person, so sharing these

0:52:43.719 --> 0:52:48.680
<v Speaker 1>sorts of stories is very important, because no experience is

0:52:48.680 --> 0:52:50.160
<v Speaker 1>actually unique once you start.

0:52:49.880 --> 0:52:52.760
<v Speaker 2>Talking, Like when I felt like everyone else was doing

0:52:52.800 --> 0:52:56.839
<v Speaker 2>great and all these people were thriving, and I'm out

0:52:56.840 --> 0:52:59.239
<v Speaker 2>in public with a baby that won't stop screaming and

0:52:59.280 --> 0:53:03.600
<v Speaker 2>everyone's stare at me. It you feel really alone, lacks.

0:53:03.719 --> 0:53:06.319
<v Speaker 2>It's horrible. So I just hope all the mums know

0:53:06.400 --> 0:53:08.640
<v Speaker 2>they can always reach out. Feel free to DM me

0:53:08.760 --> 0:53:09.640
<v Speaker 2>if you're feeling bad.

0:53:09.719 --> 0:53:11.840
<v Speaker 1>People can't because you're so private, but they can always.

0:53:12.000 --> 0:53:14.200
<v Speaker 1>They can DM me and then I can forward you

0:53:14.280 --> 0:53:17.000
<v Speaker 1>on or post in the Eat Sleepshit Repeat group. You

0:53:17.000 --> 0:53:19.439
<v Speaker 1>can do it anonymously and and we'll respond to you.

0:53:19.680 --> 0:53:21.360
<v Speaker 1>I tag. If she doesn't say anything like can you

0:53:21.360 --> 0:53:24.799
<v Speaker 1>help this person? Thanks em she let me farm her

0:53:24.840 --> 0:53:28.480
<v Speaker 1>Trauma for content and Luke for wrangling the three kids.

0:53:28.520 --> 0:53:30.800
<v Speaker 1>If you have heard them out there, that is why,

0:53:31.160 --> 0:53:33.839
<v Speaker 1>or the little voices here or there, share the pod

0:53:33.920 --> 0:53:36.960
<v Speaker 1>on your socials, please and rache and review us. Eat

0:53:37.000 --> 0:53:40.000
<v Speaker 1>Sleep's audio producer is the fab Mattie Joanno, who is

0:53:40.040 --> 0:53:42.520
<v Speaker 1>now copying one hundred percent of my unhinged text while

0:53:42.600 --> 0:53:46.799
<v Speaker 1>Key is teet bound by a baby Bye