WEBVTT - Parents Anonymous: Baby Proof… And Also Adult Proof 0:00:21.650 --> 0:00:24.330 You're listening to another mia podcast. 0:00:25.170 --> 0:00:28.450 Mumma Mea acknowledges the traditional owners of the land. We 0:00:28.570 --> 0:00:31.930 have recorded this podcast on the Gadigul people of the 0:00:31.970 --> 0:00:35.690 Eor nation. We pay our respects to their elders past 0:00:35.730 --> 0:00:39.370 and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and 0:00:39.410 --> 0:00:40.970 torres Rate Islander cultures. 0:00:41.330 --> 0:00:46.410 Hi, it's Anal's Todd here from This Glorious Mess, introducing 0:00:46.650 --> 0:00:51.290 Hot Pod Summer, one hundred hours of curated listening across 0:00:51.330 --> 0:00:55.130 the Mummamere network, just for you to escape the chaos 0:00:55.170 --> 0:00:58.490 and enjoy with the kids at home and the weather 0:00:58.530 --> 0:01:02.610 warming up. We've got episodes of Parents Anonymous to share. 0:01:03.330 --> 0:01:08.090 Parents Anonymous is part game show, part church confessional. You 0:01:08.170 --> 0:01:12.010 share your deepest parenting shame, and myself and Stacey Hicks 0:01:12.290 --> 0:01:16.490 rate you, but the worst parenting wins the most points, 0:01:16.570 --> 0:01:19.530 so really you can't lose. And if you want more, 0:01:19.690 --> 0:01:29.210 there's a link in the show Enjoy Parents Anonymous. Welcome 0:01:29.250 --> 0:01:33.010 to This Glorious Mess. I'm Annealie Todd, single parent, self 0:01:33.050 --> 0:01:37.090 confessed hot mess and happily learning on the job that 0:01:37.210 --> 0:01:37.850 is parenting. 0:01:38.170 --> 0:01:41.250 And I'm Stacy Hicks. I'm the deputy editor at Mumma Mia, 0:01:41.450 --> 0:01:44.170 and I'm much more alive and much less filled. It's 0:01:44.170 --> 0:01:45.410 not than I was last time. 0:01:45.530 --> 0:01:48.770 So it's looking good, which selfishly, I am very grateful. 0:01:48.890 --> 0:01:50.930 I'm so sorry for putting you through that. Thanks for 0:01:50.970 --> 0:01:53.130 putting up with me. This is our favorite time of 0:01:53.210 --> 0:01:56.250 week where you let out all of your parenting confessions 0:01:56.450 --> 0:01:58.850 in our very silly version of group therapy. 0:01:59.010 --> 0:02:02.730 This is Parents Anonymous, where you share your story and 0:02:02.770 --> 0:02:05.090 get the guilt off your chest. And it's just a 0:02:05.130 --> 0:02:08.050 way to release the shame and the guilt. And I've 0:02:08.090 --> 0:02:11.610 got some shame and guilt to release for you, sweet Stacy. 0:02:12.210 --> 0:02:14.330 And then we give you points based on our very 0:02:14.570 --> 0:02:19.250 serious and very scientific grading system, which is. 0:02:19.250 --> 0:02:22.010 Really not scientific at all. We just grade you how 0:02:22.050 --> 0:02:22.930 we're feeling at the time. 0:02:23.130 --> 0:02:25.250 It's a vibe check and we're all in this together. 0:02:25.370 --> 0:02:29.330 So first off, every episode we confess something that we've done, 0:02:29.530 --> 0:02:31.490 just to make sure it's a safe space. We're not 0:02:31.490 --> 0:02:34.050 sitting up on our high horse. No, So what's yours 0:02:34.050 --> 0:02:34.450 this week? 0:02:34.770 --> 0:02:38.610 It's dangerous not giving single parents a good name. 0:02:38.730 --> 0:02:39.650 Oh and I am. 0:02:41.050 --> 0:02:44.170 And it's just it's like, oh, that single mum's house, 0:02:44.210 --> 0:02:47.970 you know, it's giving that so I had some friends over, 0:02:48.250 --> 0:02:51.450 and the children had their friends over. And I have 0:02:51.530 --> 0:02:55.490 a little rooftop, little private, very chic, very secret life 0:02:55.490 --> 0:02:58.210 of us rooftop nice for some, I know, thank you 0:02:58.290 --> 0:03:01.450 so much, tiny townhouse, but the rooftop is the selling point. 0:03:01.570 --> 0:03:03.490 And so the children were on the rooftop and this 0:03:03.530 --> 0:03:07.010 is three stories high, and there's a little ledge all 0:03:07.010 --> 0:03:09.650 the way around a rooftop, as one would suspect and 0:03:09.850 --> 0:03:13.130 need given it three stories high. And I was downstairs 0:03:13.130 --> 0:03:16.530 working on the ground level, and one of the children 0:03:16.610 --> 0:03:20.330 ran outside and looked up and started conversing with a 0:03:20.410 --> 0:03:25.090 child where there is no rooftop but just another landing 0:03:25.290 --> 0:03:29.290 of just a flat piece of metal that is not 0:03:29.410 --> 0:03:33.130 part of the enclosed rooftop. So I ran up and 0:03:33.170 --> 0:03:35.850 the kids had jumped over the edge of the balcony 0:03:36.170 --> 0:03:40.610 and were just running around free range, three stories in 0:03:40.650 --> 0:03:46.490 the sky with no barricade, and I died and screamed. 0:03:46.690 --> 0:03:49.810 I had to actually send a little group chat message 0:03:49.810 --> 0:03:52.210 to my friend saying, please, can you talk to your 0:03:52.290 --> 0:03:56.570 children about not climbing over the rooftop barrier and running 0:03:56.610 --> 0:04:00.330 around in open space three stories high. I did tell 0:04:00.370 --> 0:04:01.570 them off. Full disclosure. 0:04:02.170 --> 0:04:05.010 Sometimes they do things that you don't think it's necessary 0:04:05.050 --> 0:04:07.250 to tell them is not a good idea, and then 0:04:07.450 --> 0:04:09.650 they just do it anyway. So I feel like this 0:04:09.690 --> 0:04:10.290 isn't on you. 0:04:10.770 --> 0:04:15.770 I blame YouTube game show giving jackass. That's what it's 0:04:15.810 --> 0:04:19.770 giving exactly, And I would like to blame external influencers 0:04:19.770 --> 0:04:23.410 that are not myself. It's fine, but I did endanger 0:04:23.530 --> 0:04:25.810 the lives of other people's to it, not my own. 0:04:25.850 --> 0:04:27.490 My kids knew not to do it. It's just sett of 0:04:27.530 --> 0:04:30.610 humble brag in there. Yes, the genius kids didn't do 0:04:30.690 --> 0:04:32.930 it because they're probably scared of the wrath of me. 0:04:33.330 --> 0:04:36.210 But the other people's children did put their lives in 0:04:36.290 --> 0:04:38.130 danger and it was a little bit scary. 0:04:38.210 --> 0:04:40.810 Yeah, that is a little bit scary, but nothing bad happened, 0:04:40.850 --> 0:04:41.530 so we're okay. 0:04:41.810 --> 0:04:42.810 Thank goodness, it's okay. 0:04:42.930 --> 0:04:45.650 Well, my little confession this week look not one of 0:04:45.650 --> 0:04:49.650 my best parenting performances. But my daughter thinks sleep is 0:04:49.690 --> 0:04:51.690 for the week, and so she does this fun little 0:04:51.690 --> 0:04:54.450 thing sometimes, particularly when mummies stayed up and scrolled on 0:04:54.450 --> 0:04:57.410 TikTok for too long, those are the nights she chooses. 0:04:57.490 --> 0:05:00.450 She somehow knows to then wake up from about one 0:05:00.810 --> 0:05:02.410 until about four. 0:05:02.370 --> 0:05:03.530 That is so annoying. 0:05:03.570 --> 0:05:04.130 I love her. 0:05:04.290 --> 0:05:06.290 She's not self sufficient. It's not like she's off playing 0:05:06.330 --> 0:05:07.330 tea sets on her own. 0:05:07.730 --> 0:05:10.890 She's she's three, and it's all about that Mummy needs 0:05:10.930 --> 0:05:14.410 to be in with her doing whatever she's decided acting 0:05:14.650 --> 0:05:17.930 or like no not well one minute yes and one 0:05:17.970 --> 0:05:21.410 minute no. She just decides on the vibe. But it 0:05:21.450 --> 0:05:23.290 got to about the two hour mark and I was 0:05:23.370 --> 0:05:25.730 just sick of it, and she won't let me leave 0:05:25.730 --> 0:05:28.410 the room. So I made up the excuse, mummy's just 0:05:28.410 --> 0:05:30.730 got a wee. I'm just gonna wea. I'll be right back. 0:05:30.850 --> 0:05:33.370 But instead I went an ate grated cheese straight from 0:05:33.410 --> 0:05:35.210 the packet in the lounge room because I was at 0:05:35.210 --> 0:05:36.010 that point. 0:05:35.930 --> 0:05:37.690 You mean, my sustenance at that time. 0:05:37.770 --> 0:05:39.850 I did. I did. I was not prepared to be 0:05:39.970 --> 0:05:42.650 up for two hours into three hours in the middle 0:05:42.690 --> 0:05:43.290 of the night. 0:05:43.170 --> 0:05:44.650 So that's what I did. 0:05:44.770 --> 0:05:47.930 Maybe shnak, yeah, look could have been worse. It's fine. 0:05:48.370 --> 0:05:49.290 Could have been a vodka. 0:05:49.730 --> 0:05:51.610 Well what I felt like, that's probably what I would 0:05:51.610 --> 0:05:54.490 have done, ye little medicinal red. 0:05:54.410 --> 0:05:56.810 Yes, yes, that would have been nice. Avoided that, So 0:05:56.970 --> 0:05:58.290 I'm gonna take it as a wind. 0:05:58.090 --> 0:06:01.610 Compared to me and endangering the lives of minus yours 0:06:01.650 --> 0:06:04.690 is a very minor. Mine's quite pathetic now, but anyway, 0:06:04.810 --> 0:06:08.690 moving on now, this show doesn't exist without your guilty confessions, 0:06:08.730 --> 0:06:11.610 and as you can hear, we express ours. Sometimes they're 0:06:11.650 --> 0:06:14.490 worse than others. I was pretty bad this week. I'll 0:06:14.490 --> 0:06:16.370 step up my game next week. Thank you so much 0:06:16.370 --> 0:06:18.770 to do something more danger I will do something horrible, 0:06:18.850 --> 0:06:21.770 do better, and by better I mean worse. But we 0:06:21.850 --> 0:06:23.770 would love you to leave us a voice note, or 0:06:23.810 --> 0:06:26.450 if you want to be fully anonymous, you can email 0:06:26.570 --> 0:06:28.770 us and we'll even read them out for you, so 0:06:29.250 --> 0:06:31.090 it will not be your voice. We will not use 0:06:31.130 --> 0:06:34.650 your name. No one will ever know it's you. Thank you, 0:06:34.690 --> 0:06:37.730 and keep sharing because they bring us so much joy 0:06:37.770 --> 0:06:41.210 in our otherwise bleak lives they do. All the links 0:06:41.250 --> 0:06:43.090 and how you can send us your stories are in 0:06:43.170 --> 0:06:45.450 the show notes for all your confession options, and on 0:06:45.570 --> 0:06:48.210 today's show, the three new confessions that we have not 0:06:48.250 --> 0:06:55.250 heard yed are called Babies, home Improvement Right, Actual Emergency Services, requiet, 0:06:55.410 --> 0:06:58.850 Oh this is new, and home Alone. I do love 0:06:58.890 --> 0:07:01.570 that movie. An All right, let's go. 0:07:03.250 --> 0:07:05.610 My son has just started what feels like a deep 0:07:05.770 --> 0:07:10.450 obsession with the inside of cupboards. He calls to anything 0:07:10.490 --> 0:07:13.050 with a door and tries to open it to either 0:07:13.170 --> 0:07:16.850 get in or pull everything out. It's way earlier than 0:07:16.890 --> 0:07:19.690 I thought this stuff would happen, and feel completely underprepared, 0:07:19.730 --> 0:07:23.050 and also like a parent who has not childproofed anything, 0:07:23.650 --> 0:07:27.050 literally nothing. It's like I blinked, and now he's crawling. 0:07:27.530 --> 0:07:29.490 So I got a handyman to install a bunch of 0:07:29.570 --> 0:07:33.530 child safety devices on cupboards, doors, and drawers. They are 0:07:33.570 --> 0:07:37.050 so good that I cannot even get into them. So 0:07:37.210 --> 0:07:39.170 now I don't latch them up and I just leave 0:07:39.210 --> 0:07:41.170 them open, so I may as well have not got 0:07:41.210 --> 0:07:47.970 them in the first place. So embarrassing. Ah. Look, I 0:07:48.050 --> 0:07:51.730 never did the childproofing thing for this exact reason, because 0:07:51.770 --> 0:07:53.970 when I went to other people's houses that had kids, 0:07:54.010 --> 0:07:55.450 I was one of the last ones in my group 0:07:55.450 --> 0:07:58.370 to have kids. I would have that thing of being like, sorry, 0:07:58.730 --> 0:08:01.290 how do I open our fridge or how do I 0:08:01.330 --> 0:08:04.050 open your cupboard? I really think it's more just you know, 0:08:04.330 --> 0:08:06.890 you move the knifes up high and everything else. It's 0:08:07.010 --> 0:08:08.370 a learning exercise for them. 0:08:08.610 --> 0:08:11.770 It is one of the most annoying phases one hundred 0:08:11.810 --> 0:08:14.650 percent the cupboard phase and also they jam their fingers 0:08:14.690 --> 0:08:16.770 in the cupboard. Yeah, it's not even about the mess 0:08:16.810 --> 0:08:19.770 or the danger, it's just annoying. Do you know what 0:08:19.810 --> 0:08:22.890 I did for this age and stage? And this is 0:08:23.010 --> 0:08:25.650 for me, who's quite useless. I think this is quite level. 0:08:26.770 --> 0:08:30.970 I had one cupboard that was all just plastic tupperware 0:08:31.330 --> 0:08:34.130 kid's plates, and that was the lowest and that was 0:08:34.170 --> 0:08:36.770 the one that they had the access to. That was 0:08:36.810 --> 0:08:40.650 the pulling out things cupboard. And it was always messy, disorganized. 0:08:40.690 --> 0:08:42.730 It always was covered in like dog hair or human 0:08:42.770 --> 0:08:44.290 hair because it was all over the ground. And then 0:08:44.290 --> 0:08:46.210 it was shoved in at the end of the day. 0:08:46.730 --> 0:08:48.930 And that was the things cupboard. And that's how I 0:08:48.970 --> 0:08:49.890 got through that phase. 0:08:49.970 --> 0:08:51.930 That was one of our activities that got us through, 0:08:51.970 --> 0:08:54.050 you know, in the depths where you're counting down to 0:08:54.170 --> 0:08:56.370 the next nap, when they're in that thinking. 0:08:56.250 --> 0:08:57.370 More until like four o'clock. 0:08:57.410 --> 0:09:00.410 Wine that too, but when you're like, okay, we've got 0:09:00.730 --> 0:09:04.210 forty five minutes left on this wake window, which I 0:09:04.330 --> 0:09:08.170 was such a psycho with that stuff. But then I 0:09:08.170 --> 0:09:10.890 would be like, what else can we do? And one 0:09:10.890 --> 0:09:13.210 of the things I would let her do. Granted I 0:09:13.250 --> 0:09:16.050 had my baby in lockdown. So spare thought for me 0:09:16.490 --> 0:09:19.930 was that she would play in the tupperwar draw for 0:09:20.170 --> 0:09:22.610 about it. So you've just got to let them play 0:09:22.610 --> 0:09:24.490 with these things, to be honest, that's the stuff they 0:09:24.650 --> 0:09:26.690 like more than toys. So really this is a cost 0:09:26.930 --> 0:09:29.770 saving exercise for you. The fact that you can't get 0:09:29.770 --> 0:09:32.290 these cupboards closed is going to benefit you in the 0:09:32.330 --> 0:09:35.650 long run. Couse, he lives times. Just entertain them with a. 0:09:35.570 --> 0:09:38.730 Little any weight or two, it's fine. I'd like to 0:09:38.730 --> 0:09:42.770 bring up that back in our day, or more accurately 0:09:42.810 --> 0:09:45.530 for your day. No, our parent no, I had little 0:09:45.570 --> 0:09:48.450 baby closy things that I sort of stuck around and 0:09:48.490 --> 0:09:51.450 then never used. As well, our parents didn't use them, 0:09:51.490 --> 0:09:54.650 and we managed to survive. I think as long as 0:09:54.690 --> 0:09:58.810 there's like no access to harmful chemicals or steak knives, 0:09:59.090 --> 0:10:02.730 yeah you're winning. It's everything else is kind of like whatever, Yeah, 0:10:02.770 --> 0:10:05.210 it's fine, So what are we rating this one? Then 0:10:05.410 --> 0:10:09.970 it's very mild, it's very inoffensive. I think points come 0:10:10.010 --> 0:10:13.170 off for the wasted money of the handyman, because you 0:10:13.210 --> 0:10:15.530 could have just popped off to Bunnings and stuck them 0:10:15.530 --> 0:10:17.530 on yourself and then knock those and that would have 0:10:17.570 --> 0:10:18.090 been cheaper. 0:10:18.250 --> 0:10:21.050 Look, that part's embarrassing. I'm not gonna lie to it is. 0:10:21.210 --> 0:10:23.290 But you're among friends. I do this too. 0:10:23.450 --> 0:10:27.370 That was that was an unnecessary outsourced cost. Yeah, I 0:10:27.410 --> 0:10:32.610 think I'm going to give them six little cups of 0:10:32.650 --> 0:10:33.650 poison out of ten. 0:10:34.970 --> 0:10:37.610 I ended up just doing a big old baby gate 0:10:37.690 --> 0:10:40.890 that was so ugly, but a retractable one though, that 0:10:40.970 --> 0:10:41.890 went across. 0:10:41.610 --> 0:10:44.690 Our trip over every time that you walked in and out. 0:10:44.930 --> 0:10:45.850 I did, accai. 0:10:46.170 --> 0:10:48.850 I'm a very tall person and stepped over at one 0:10:48.850 --> 0:10:51.730 time and tripped over onto the floor and winded myself. 0:10:52.650 --> 0:10:55.850 So I'm giving you eight baby gates out of ten. 0:11:02.410 --> 0:11:04.930 All right, moving on the next one, Stace, what have 0:11:05.010 --> 0:11:13.090 we got actual emergency services required? I am the worst 0:11:13.410 --> 0:11:14.610 parent in the world. 0:11:15.090 --> 0:11:16.370 I could give you a close run. 0:11:16.450 --> 0:11:21.850 Few months we've all thought that obviously, Oh I leave 0:11:21.890 --> 0:11:24.730 my baby in the car when I pick up my 0:11:24.850 --> 0:11:32.050 toddler from daycare. Oh god, it's too hard to wrangle 0:11:32.090 --> 0:11:34.690 them both, and it's a two minute in and out. 0:11:35.050 --> 0:11:38.570 But this time I locked them in the car, and 0:11:38.610 --> 0:11:41.490 then I was the mom having the full blown meltdown 0:11:41.490 --> 0:11:45.090 in the car park, had to get an emergency locksmith. 0:11:45.170 --> 0:11:49.010 And now I don't leave my baby in the car. Ever, 0:11:50.810 --> 0:11:51.530 does she mean. 0:11:51.450 --> 0:11:55.890 She locked them both in the car? Somehow that's less 0:11:55.930 --> 0:11:59.530 bad yes, than just a baby than just the Somehow, 0:11:59.650 --> 0:12:02.850 I don't know. Somehow endangering both your children is less 0:12:03.130 --> 0:12:06.810 bad for the optics with the other daycare parents because 0:12:07.290 --> 0:12:09.490 it doesn't look like you left your baby alone. You 0:12:09.610 --> 0:12:10.770 just it was a little miss. 0:12:10.890 --> 0:12:14.090 It looked more like an accident than if you just 0:12:14.250 --> 0:12:18.290 locked the baby. Then they would know that that was intentional. 0:12:18.490 --> 0:12:21.050 Look, I can see why you do this, because getting 0:12:21.050 --> 0:12:23.290 a baby in and out of a car. 0:12:23.130 --> 0:12:25.610 Seat is the most annoying thing. 0:12:26.210 --> 0:12:28.130 I don't know why we don't have the ones like 0:12:28.170 --> 0:12:30.890 in America where they swivel and so you can just 0:12:30.890 --> 0:12:32.290 get them in and out really easily. 0:12:32.330 --> 0:12:35.130 You've got to bend over and crunch it out, and 0:12:35.130 --> 0:12:35.970 they cry, and then. 0:12:35.850 --> 0:12:38.370 When you've got a toddler who's checking a tantrum when 0:12:38.370 --> 0:12:40.810 you're on the way out. I totally understand why you've 0:12:40.850 --> 0:12:42.890 done it. And it is literally a quick in and out. 0:12:43.290 --> 0:12:47.330 Although I would like to state legally that it is 0:12:47.370 --> 0:12:50.570 illegal to leave your baby in a car, so just 0:12:50.650 --> 0:12:51.890 I just want illegal. 0:12:51.530 --> 0:12:53.530 To jaywalk too. But we're all doing it. 0:12:54.610 --> 0:13:00.570 We're not recommending that you leave baby vocating animals, you 0:13:00.610 --> 0:13:04.250 know as well, just a little cheeky caveat Okay, all right, 0:13:04.530 --> 0:13:06.970 legalities you with the rules today. 0:13:07.130 --> 0:13:10.170 Yes, not advocating for it. But everyone does it. 0:13:10.410 --> 0:13:14.370 Well, everyone's done it at least once. Yes, definitely yes 0:13:14.450 --> 0:13:19.850 see see. But I think that this was a good 0:13:20.130 --> 0:13:23.170 learning This was a learning tool for this person because 0:13:23.210 --> 0:13:25.810 now they don't do it anymore. That's why I'm an 0:13:25.850 --> 0:13:29.410 advocate for public shame, because when we have moments of 0:13:29.450 --> 0:13:33.010 public shame, which I'm assuming this was a pretty big one. Yeah, 0:13:33.210 --> 0:13:34.490 then we don't do it again. 0:13:34.730 --> 0:13:38.530 Yeah, no, how I'm done. They're obviously fine, You're obviously 0:13:38.570 --> 0:13:40.930 a great mum. You snapped into actually did the right thing. 0:13:41.130 --> 0:13:45.050 So we're giving you seven car keys out of ten. 0:13:45.290 --> 0:13:47.810 I'm going to give you because this is pretty bad. 0:13:48.050 --> 0:13:49.890 So it's like we're rating it as so we're rating 0:13:49.890 --> 0:13:53.530 it really high or really low because it's pretty bad. Okay, okay. 0:13:54.010 --> 0:13:56.650 And for the fact that you told us about it, Yeah, 0:13:56.770 --> 0:13:58.570 I love you for telling us. And the fact that 0:13:58.610 --> 0:14:02.250 the daycare people will definitely would have been judging you. 0:14:02.970 --> 0:14:04.970 They would have been a group chat going around. 0:14:04.690 --> 0:14:08.130 And the early educators as well as the other parents 0:14:08.490 --> 0:14:10.970 could have very much been judging this. So for that, 0:14:11.050 --> 0:14:13.450 I'm going to give you nine and a half locksmiths. 0:14:14.250 --> 0:14:21.770 Love that. Now it's a biggie. 0:14:22.170 --> 0:14:27.010 Confession. Three home alone, I leave my Oh, we've got 0:14:27.010 --> 0:14:30.290 a theme this week. I leave my son alone a lot. H. 0:14:30.850 --> 0:14:32.770 I don't mean in the I'm going to the gym. 0:14:32.850 --> 0:14:36.730 Catch you laid away. Here's the thing. He's four months old. Oh, 0:14:37.650 --> 0:14:39.850 he's at the point where he's awake for twelve hours 0:14:39.850 --> 0:14:40.170 a day. 0:14:40.370 --> 0:14:40.690 Oh. 0:14:40.770 --> 0:14:43.730 Don't get me wrong. When the kid smiles and all laughs, 0:14:43.770 --> 0:14:46.970 I swoon with butterflies. But I don't understand how parents 0:14:47.010 --> 0:14:49.850 can do the whole. I stimulate my baby all day long. 0:14:50.770 --> 0:14:53.650 Most of the time, I'm the last thing he's interested in. 0:14:53.930 --> 0:14:56.090 He wants to look at the fish tank, he wants 0:14:56.130 --> 0:14:59.330 to play with his toys, swipe at the floppy giraffe 0:14:59.370 --> 0:15:02.250 on his play mat, or watch his mobile. So during 0:15:02.290 --> 0:15:05.290 the day I spend what is probably a bad parent 0:15:05.370 --> 0:15:08.290 amount of time leaving him alone. He'll be crawling around 0:15:08.330 --> 0:15:11.570 on his mat, chewing on toys, staring at various objects 0:15:11.610 --> 0:15:14.610 in the room, or babbling to himself while I play 0:15:14.650 --> 0:15:18.210 a video game. Browsing Internet or do chores. People tell 0:15:18.250 --> 0:15:20.530 me that I need to interact with him, but I 0:15:20.730 --> 0:15:23.650 venture that I only get accumulative two hours a day 0:15:23.810 --> 0:15:26.650 of direct back and forth interaction with him. 0:15:27.050 --> 0:15:29.650 How is a four month old crawling around? 0:15:30.330 --> 0:15:33.930 He must just be like rolling around. Oh that's awful, 0:15:34.890 --> 0:15:38.010 to be honest. I think when my daughter was little, 0:15:38.570 --> 0:15:40.450 I had this thing of thinking that you had to 0:15:40.450 --> 0:15:42.850 be there and be their full source of entertainment. But 0:15:42.890 --> 0:15:46.010 they actually don't care. They're new to the world, so 0:15:46.210 --> 0:15:49.130 everything is like the best. Like if they see a 0:15:49.130 --> 0:15:53.090 cloud day made, they say, a little leaf on the ground, awesome. 0:15:53.170 --> 0:15:55.490 They've never seen any of these things before, Like they 0:15:55.530 --> 0:15:58.210 actually enjoy all of that stuff. You're still there in 0:15:58.290 --> 0:16:01.530 the house. Life is their YouTube exactly. I was a 0:16:01.570 --> 0:16:03.530 little bit worried when you said you leave him alone 0:16:03.530 --> 0:16:04.850 a lot. I thought you met you were popping out 0:16:04.890 --> 0:16:06.410 to the shop, So you're not. You're there. 0:16:06.690 --> 0:16:08.570 Yeah, supervisions recommended. 0:16:08.730 --> 0:16:10.530 And it's only going to get harder from here, Like 0:16:10.650 --> 0:16:12.690 the baby is going to need you more and more 0:16:12.850 --> 0:16:15.010 as the baby starts to get more mobile. But while 0:16:15.010 --> 0:16:17.370 they're a little crawling, rolling potato. 0:16:17.010 --> 0:16:19.250 Hang on common Also, can we circle back to it. 0:16:19.330 --> 0:16:23.130 Why is a four month awake for twelve hours a day. 0:16:23.410 --> 0:16:26.610 They should be I've just been a while, but their 0:16:26.730 --> 0:16:29.050 mean to sleep quite a bit during the day. 0:16:29.370 --> 0:16:31.610 Well maybe that's because you had babies that slept, But 0:16:31.650 --> 0:16:33.930 my baby was only awake for about this amount of 0:16:33.970 --> 0:16:35.770 time as well, so all day. 0:16:36.330 --> 0:16:37.730 Yeah, didn't sleep during the time. 0:16:37.850 --> 0:16:40.650 I guess she's not factoring in naps. 0:16:40.930 --> 0:16:44.450 Twelve hours or is that the total awake time of 0:16:44.490 --> 0:16:45.770 the twenty for hour period. 0:16:45.970 --> 0:16:46.570 I don't know. 0:16:46.970 --> 0:16:48.770 This just doesn't feel like it's enough sleep. 0:16:50.010 --> 0:16:52.970 I think she's meaning sleeps at night, but this is 0:16:53.010 --> 0:16:55.850 about the amount during the day with your little naps 0:16:55.850 --> 0:16:56.410 that time. 0:16:56.770 --> 0:17:00.330 The baby sounds very resilient, very advanced. 0:17:00.890 --> 0:17:03.810 The baby doesn't care, thinks that you and him are 0:17:03.810 --> 0:17:06.370 the same person at the moment anyway, And do you 0:17:06.370 --> 0:17:09.690 know what this speaks to is a very advanced secure 0:17:09.690 --> 0:17:14.530 attachment style, which is not what my baby's had. It 0:17:14.610 --> 0:17:17.690 was very anxious or disorganized, which is the worst style 0:17:18.130 --> 0:17:18.810 of attachment. 0:17:18.850 --> 0:17:20.530 And they needed me all the time. So this is 0:17:20.690 --> 0:17:25.210 actually great, and I think just keep nurturing that self sufficient, 0:17:25.330 --> 0:17:27.650 secure attachment where you're not really needed. 0:17:27.730 --> 0:17:30.170 Yeah, it's great, It's a win. This kid will be 0:17:30.290 --> 0:17:33.650 so happy to entertain themselves. They're used to it, so 0:17:33.970 --> 0:17:34.690 self supering. 0:17:34.810 --> 0:17:38.130 Fine, they'll be successful in life, they'll be good at relationships, 0:17:38.170 --> 0:17:38.850 not too needy. 0:17:38.930 --> 0:17:40.650 As long as you're not popping out to the nail 0:17:40.690 --> 0:17:44.530 salon supervision, you're a great parent within earshot, yeah. 0:17:44.410 --> 0:17:45.250 Or the little monitor. 0:17:45.490 --> 0:17:49.610 Yeah, it's fine, so fine, Yeah fine, So what are 0:17:49.650 --> 0:17:51.610 we giving it? Look? I think it's pretty harmless. I 0:17:51.650 --> 0:17:54.290 think this person's actually giving themselves a hard time for 0:17:54.330 --> 0:17:56.170 something that doesn't need it. 0:17:56.450 --> 0:18:01.250 There's a saying, and it's no good parent ever has 0:18:01.330 --> 0:18:04.250 wondered if they're a bad parent? Yes? Is that? Did 0:18:04.290 --> 0:18:05.050 I say that the right way? 0:18:05.050 --> 0:18:07.250 Wait? Wait, no, that's wrong. 0:18:07.330 --> 0:18:11.890 Wait there's a say, it's a really good me. 0:18:12.610 --> 0:18:15.370 If you were a good parent, you would ask yourself 0:18:15.370 --> 0:18:17.850 if you're a bad parent, Like a bad parent just 0:18:17.850 --> 0:18:18.410 doesn't care. 0:18:18.530 --> 0:18:20.210 A bad parent doesn't care. 0:18:20.610 --> 0:18:22.690 I don't think we've nailed it, but you get. 0:18:22.530 --> 0:18:25.770 The viet The sentiment's there. 0:18:25.810 --> 0:18:28.130 If you're worrying about whether you're a good enough parent, 0:18:28.170 --> 0:18:30.490 then you are one exactly that was better. 0:18:30.690 --> 0:18:33.770 Yes, kind of you nailed it, and you're nailing it 0:18:33.810 --> 0:18:36.810 and you're fine because the fact that you care means 0:18:36.850 --> 0:18:37.810 that you're a good parent. 0:18:37.890 --> 0:18:39.690 Yeah, what are we giving to this one? 0:18:40.130 --> 0:18:44.730 My awarding system this week has been for the worst person, 0:18:44.850 --> 0:18:47.330 So I think that this one's fine. So I'm just 0:18:47.370 --> 0:18:52.210 gonna throw like a cheeky five and a half supervision 0:18:52.250 --> 0:18:53.210 points out of ten. 0:18:53.330 --> 0:18:56.010 Yeah, it is absolutely fine. And I don't think that 0:18:56.010 --> 0:18:58.530 this one is very bad on the scale because babies 0:18:58.530 --> 0:19:02.770 are boring. Babies are They're really no so fun but 0:19:03.050 --> 0:19:04.250 so far so boring. 0:19:04.370 --> 0:19:08.010 For about eight months, they're quite actually enjoyable. Yeah they're viby, 0:19:08.090 --> 0:19:11.410 but a four month old is a worm. They're boring 0:19:12.210 --> 0:19:14.770 and so enjoy it while they're not needy. 0:19:15.050 --> 0:19:17.010 Just leave them on that little playmate, they'll be happy 0:19:17.050 --> 0:19:20.210 as larry. So I'll give you six playmates out of ten? 0:19:20.610 --> 0:19:22.450 Are we declaring the winner this week? 0:19:22.570 --> 0:19:26.130 So first we had the baby with the failed baby proofing. 0:19:26.250 --> 0:19:27.450 Fine, fine, Fine. 0:19:27.570 --> 0:19:30.810 Then next we had the baby in the car. 0:19:30.810 --> 0:19:34.770 Leaving the baby in the car the daycare early educators 0:19:34.810 --> 0:19:36.530 and parents at pick up. 0:19:36.730 --> 0:19:36.930 Look. 0:19:36.930 --> 0:19:39.370 I love the chaos of that, I really do. And 0:19:39.410 --> 0:19:44.330 it's really illegal. So like such a stickler for the rules, 0:19:44.330 --> 0:19:49.570 but today is illegal, Stacey. So I feel like because 0:19:49.650 --> 0:19:52.170 home alone, like just not really interacting as much of 0:19:52.210 --> 0:19:55.930 the four month old. Yeah, the best. Worst was definitely 0:19:56.010 --> 0:19:59.610 locking a baby at a toddler in a car, having 0:19:59.650 --> 0:20:04.530 to involve the emergency services. Yeah, it's just a unanimous 0:20:04.610 --> 0:20:08.450 obvious clip. You well done, to you, well done. We 0:20:08.530 --> 0:20:12.850