WEBVTT - Driving Me Crazy 

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<v Speaker 1>You're listening to a Mother Mea podcast. Muma Mea acknowledges

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<v Speaker 1>the traditional owners of the land and waters.

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<v Speaker 2>This podcast is recorded on.

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<v Speaker 1>Freedom. There's nothing quite like it. That's probably why George Michael,

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<v Speaker 1>for Eh Williams, and John Batiste all have songs about it.

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<v Speaker 1>But today we're talking about freedom in a relationship that

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<v Speaker 1>glorious feeling, especially at the beginning of a new romance,

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<v Speaker 1>when everything feels light, electric and full of possibility.

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<v Speaker 2>I had finally met somebody that was way beyond my

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<v Speaker 2>energy levels, and he was like a real revel without

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<v Speaker 2>a cause, you know, just seemed really alive and passionate

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<v Speaker 2>and interested and interesting, had lots to say, loved engaging

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<v Speaker 2>in conversation. He would be very flattering about what I'd done,

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<v Speaker 2>and he's like, you know, you seem like you really

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<v Speaker 2>live your life, like you really do so much and

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<v Speaker 2>you get to live your life. And he was very

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<v Speaker 2>flattering of that, and I also felt the same about him.

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<v Speaker 1>But what George Michael didn't get into was that freedom

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<v Speaker 1>can easily be taken for granted, and like everything, there's

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<v Speaker 1>no guarantee it will last forever. If for when that

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<v Speaker 1>sense of freedom starts to slip away in a relationship,

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<v Speaker 1>the consequences don't always just hunt you. They can start

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<v Speaker 1>a ripple, affecting everything and everyone around you.

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<v Speaker 2>I was no longer traveling. I was now stuck in

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<v Speaker 2>the house with him, and when I would go travel,

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<v Speaker 2>he would ghost me. There was a court ordered psych

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<v Speaker 2>evaluation that ended up sort of saying that he prescribed

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<v Speaker 2>him antipsychotics because he really was loose. He was super wild.

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<v Speaker 2>But you know what I originally loved about him was

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<v Speaker 2>now turning into something that was really toxic about him.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm Georgia Love and this is everyone has an ex

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<v Speaker 1>Come with me as we dive into a collection of

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<v Speaker 1>unconventional stories about relationships past through the eyes and the

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<v Speaker 1>hearts of the very people who lived them. Meet June,

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<v Speaker 1>a bona fide boss lady who had built her own

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<v Speaker 1>events business, but at age thirty two, found herself standing

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<v Speaker 1>at a bit of a crossroads.

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<v Speaker 2>I had been single for quite a long time, but

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<v Speaker 2>my previous relationship had really really burnt me. And the

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<v Speaker 2>reason why is because I've been running my own business

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<v Speaker 2>for the last ten years and I chose my business

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<v Speaker 2>over the relationship, and that really stung. And you know,

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<v Speaker 2>I said to myself that the next time I have

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<v Speaker 2>the opportunity to make that decision, I would choose the relationship,

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<v Speaker 2>not the business. I'd been single for a really long time,

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<v Speaker 2>and I was at this point where I was really

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<v Speaker 2>desperate to pair up with somebody. I really wanted a relationship,

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<v Speaker 2>and I was putting myself out there and I just

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<v Speaker 2>wasn't finding the one.

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<v Speaker 1>And then a blast from the past did the old

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<v Speaker 1>DM slide.

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<v Speaker 2>I knew Zach from before, maybe when I was in

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<v Speaker 2>my young twenties. We had circulated in the same group

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<v Speaker 2>of people, and he was always somebody that had really

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<v Speaker 2>captured my I and imagination. He was incredibly handsome at

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<v Speaker 2>this stage now at thirty two, where I have really

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<v Speaker 2>had my feelers out to see who was out there,

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<v Speaker 2>and I spent plenty of time on social media and

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<v Speaker 2>I do a lot of content making, and he was

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<v Speaker 2>starting to repeat himself in my DMS, and I really

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<v Speaker 2>had written him off as somebody that I wanted to

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<v Speaker 2>communicate with. But over time I think that we were

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<v Speaker 2>having pleasant conversations and I was like, oh, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>where are you? What are you doing now? I just

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<v Speaker 2>put on an event and I was looking for another

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<v Speaker 2>location to put the event on, and you know, I

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<v Speaker 2>look for rural locations, and so I was curious as

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<v Speaker 2>to where he was because it seemed like he was

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<v Speaker 2>on a cattle farm. And I was, okay, great, like,

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<v Speaker 2>where are you? Like, what are the roads like up there?

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<v Speaker 2>And so I guess, you know, if I was honest

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<v Speaker 2>with myself, it was probably under the guise of wanting

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<v Speaker 2>to see him and see what he was up to.

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<v Speaker 2>But so I traveled up to where he was, and

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<v Speaker 2>at the time, I was very transient. I could live

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<v Speaker 2>in my van, so I was on the road a lot.

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<v Speaker 2>So I sort of took myself up there and met

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<v Speaker 2>up with him, and from that moment, I was just like, wow,

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<v Speaker 2>the same. I was so captivated, just like I was

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<v Speaker 2>at the beginning when I knew him all those years ago.

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<v Speaker 2>He was such a huge personality. And I also had

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<v Speaker 2>this I love of big, dramatic people, like I loved

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<v Speaker 2>big characters and interesting people, and he absolutely was that.

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<v Speaker 2>When I when I first saw him again.

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<v Speaker 1>The attraction was there, and from that very moment they reconnected.

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<v Speaker 1>There truly was just something about Zach. He was high energy, fun,

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<v Speaker 1>gorgeous and a little adventurous and June was totally into it.

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<v Speaker 2>He was very fast paced, very like walks over there

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<v Speaker 2>and he gets something done, tinker's with something over here,

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<v Speaker 2>and then he walks over there. And the way that

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<v Speaker 2>he drove, He's had such characteristic cars, and he loved

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<v Speaker 2>old cars and used to because you know, he lived

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<v Speaker 2>on a cattle farm and there was plenty of space

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<v Speaker 2>out there, lots of room. So you know, we would

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<v Speaker 2>rally drive the car down to the tip where we

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<v Speaker 2>would unload all the rubbish to the tip, and would

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<v Speaker 2>I get to drive the rally car back to the

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<v Speaker 2>house and you know, the floor had eroded out of

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<v Speaker 2>this car, and like all of these really exciting things

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<v Speaker 2>that we would do. And we'd go far driving out

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<v Speaker 2>the back of the property and on motorbikes. And he

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<v Speaker 2>had just this immense energy, always for activities and stuff

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<v Speaker 2>to do. And I really share that. And I've always

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<v Speaker 2>interacted with people that didn't have as much energy as

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<v Speaker 2>I did. And I had finally met somebody that was

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<v Speaker 2>way beyond my energy levels. I thought, wow, this is

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<v Speaker 2>a powerful man because of just how much energy he had.

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<v Speaker 2>And he was like a real rebel without a cause,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, just seemed really alive and passionate and interested

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<v Speaker 2>and interesting, had lots to say, loved engaging in conversation.

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<v Speaker 2>He had followed me on Instagram through all of these years,

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<v Speaker 2>so he knew a lot about my life, and so

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<v Speaker 2>you know, he would ask lots of questions and he

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<v Speaker 2>would be very flattering about what I'd done, and he's like,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, you seem like you really really live your life,

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<v Speaker 2>like you really do so much and you get to

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<v Speaker 2>live your life. And it was very flattering of that.

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<v Speaker 2>And I also felt the same about him. I was like, wow,

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<v Speaker 2>you you totally you're a tornado around here. So it

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<v Speaker 2>was real, like a real strong connection for me.

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<v Speaker 1>Now they hadn't crossed into romance just yet, but the

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<v Speaker 1>signs were unmistakable. Things were definitely heading that way. So

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<v Speaker 1>for June, that made leaving incredibly difficult.

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<v Speaker 2>I would stay for longer and longer, and I would

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<v Speaker 2>use the opportunities to continue to suss out the area

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<v Speaker 2>for this next event. And he lived by himself there,

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<v Speaker 2>so I just kept on staying. I felt really welcome,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, like we were doing tasks around the farm.

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<v Speaker 2>I was learning all these new skills, and I felt welcome.

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<v Speaker 2>So I just kept on staying longer and longer periods,

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<v Speaker 2>and occasionally I would go home, but I just kept

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<v Speaker 2>on coming back. I was staying in the spare room

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<v Speaker 2>for quite a while, and he didn't have his sheets

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<v Speaker 2>on his bed, like he was always in his room whatever.

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<v Speaker 2>I was in this spare room, and I think it

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<v Speaker 2>would probably take maybe six weeks of me really spending

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<v Speaker 2>time together. Then suddenly one day's like, oh, my my

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<v Speaker 2>sheets are in the wash. Can I can I come

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<v Speaker 2>into your room? And like He's like, no funny business,

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<v Speaker 2>I just need to be in here logistically, And I

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<v Speaker 2>was like, yeah, that's fine. And he cuddled me and

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<v Speaker 2>put his arm around me, and I said to myself,

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<v Speaker 2>I was like, this is the best moment of my life.

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<v Speaker 2>Like it felt like like my whole body, all my

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<v Speaker 2>senses just came alive. I barely slept a wink. I

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<v Speaker 2>just felt like, this is the man I'm getting married.

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<v Speaker 2>It felt so good. It was a natural progression. He

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<v Speaker 2>would say these little things, you know, he'd sort of

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<v Speaker 2>say them over his shoulder or looking the other way,

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<v Speaker 2>and I would think that I heard something and I'd

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<v Speaker 2>be like what, and he it's a nothing, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>and but what I would hear is like I've been

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<v Speaker 2>waiting so long for this, you know, and those little,

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<v Speaker 2>small little remarks, and I was like, what'd you say?

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<v Speaker 2>And he would sort of just brush it off as

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<v Speaker 2>if he didn't say anything. And you know, he you know,

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<v Speaker 2>when obviously started sharing a bed, and he'd say things

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<v Speaker 2>like hold me, hold me, like he was very loving.

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<v Speaker 2>The first couple of months were very courty, like we

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<v Speaker 2>were still courting and there was so much to do,

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<v Speaker 2>and still even though we knew each other from another time,

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<v Speaker 2>there was still so much to learn about each other,

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<v Speaker 2>so it was slow moving. At the start. It was

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<v Speaker 2>very cute, very cute, very teenagey sort of star will

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<v Speaker 2>she won't won't she? Like? Will he won't he? Like?

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<v Speaker 2>My perspective of it was that he was quite shy,

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<v Speaker 2>very endearing, and it also kept you on your toes,

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<v Speaker 2>so you were like, is this going somewhere? Yea, is

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<v Speaker 2>it not? Like and he would say these small little things,

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<v Speaker 2>so I'm like, oh, yeah, that's a sign that he

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<v Speaker 2>also feels the same way about me, you know, So

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<v Speaker 2>it was this really fun. I was very nervous, like

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<v Speaker 2>it wasn't I didn't feel very comfortable in the dynamic,

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<v Speaker 2>but that's what kept me. I was was like, is

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<v Speaker 2>this something like, it seems like he really cares about me.

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<v Speaker 2>He did all these little things, like, you know'd make

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<v Speaker 2>sure i'd have slippers on if I was having to

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<v Speaker 2>do some work, and he would come and get all

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<v Speaker 2>these different drinks for me. And so I'm like, all

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<v Speaker 2>these things just showed me that he was caring for me.

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<v Speaker 2>So yeah, it was really nice time. Over time, eventually

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<v Speaker 2>we were in this really sparks flying era of We

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<v Speaker 2>just were obsessed with each other and I felt like

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<v Speaker 2>he felt the same. And I think one day he

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<v Speaker 2>had his family around and he introduced me as his girlfriend,

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<v Speaker 2>and that was kind of the first All his family

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<v Speaker 2>were like, oo, did you hear that? And so that's

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<v Speaker 2>when I first felt like that was an official we

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<v Speaker 2>are together. And all in all, it probably took maybe

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<v Speaker 2>two months, which is a long time, but I was

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<v Speaker 2>very much waiting for him to make these decisions.

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<v Speaker 1>After that decision was made, it was full steam ahead.

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<v Speaker 2>Or I just never went back home. I moved my business.

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<v Speaker 2>I rented out an office in the town that was

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<v Speaker 2>close by, and I had moved everything up, so I

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<v Speaker 2>was fully committed pretty quickly. But again at the time,

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<v Speaker 2>I was very transient person, so I didn't mean too

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<v Speaker 2>much for me to relocate to rural New South Wales.

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<v Speaker 2>It didn't really mean too much. I was already very

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<v Speaker 2>loose and floating, so and I was still traveling quite

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<v Speaker 2>a bit. I would leave for weeks on end just

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<v Speaker 2>with business and come back and it just became my

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<v Speaker 2>base organically. I think that we just became a meshed

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<v Speaker 2>quite quickly. And he would say things like one day

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<v Speaker 2>we could put a house on top of the hill,

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<v Speaker 2>because the farm was his parents farm, so you know,

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<v Speaker 2>the parents would come up and I was, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>hanging out with them and getting to know them too,

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<v Speaker 2>and he's like, one day we could put a house

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<v Speaker 2>on the top of the hill. And so he would

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<v Speaker 2>say things that would be we're building a dream life together,

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<v Speaker 2>like you're here for good. This is us now, like

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<v Speaker 2>let's let's figure out where we're going with this sort

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<v Speaker 2>of thing. So it was really just spoken word between us.

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<v Speaker 2>There was no set point in time. But you know,

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<v Speaker 2>you'd also say things if we went out with his

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<v Speaker 2>folks down somewhere and we'd go past this cute little church.

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<v Speaker 2>He'd say things like this is where we'll get married

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<v Speaker 2>one day, and just these little things that kind of

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<v Speaker 2>led you to the that we're united, we're working towards something.

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<v Speaker 1>Life felt almost perfect, smooth, full, exactly as she'd once imagined.

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<v Speaker 1>And yet there was one small persistent detail that kept

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<v Speaker 1>tugging at June's attention.

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<v Speaker 2>I always witnessed him drinking a lot of beer, but

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<v Speaker 2>he seemed very casual about it. You know, there was

0:13:30.368 --> 0:13:34.208
<v Speaker 2>lots of half empty beers around, like he wouldn't so

0:13:34.248 --> 0:13:37.368
<v Speaker 2>it didn't seem like a big problem because well, he

0:13:37.408 --> 0:13:40.128
<v Speaker 2>wasn't drinking the whole beer a lot of the time.

0:13:40.248 --> 0:13:42.528
<v Speaker 2>And at the beginning, you know, maybe we would go

0:13:42.608 --> 0:13:45.008
<v Speaker 2>forward driving and he'd have a hip flask of something

0:13:45.088 --> 0:13:46.768
<v Speaker 2>and we'd both share it, and so it was this

0:13:46.928 --> 0:13:49.728
<v Speaker 2>sort of shared thing. And I, prior to getting into

0:13:49.728 --> 0:13:53.128
<v Speaker 2>this relationship, I actually hadn't I'd stop drinking for about

0:13:53.528 --> 0:13:56.208
<v Speaker 2>three years prior, but I didn't want there to be

0:13:56.248 --> 0:13:59.128
<v Speaker 2>a huge divide, so I ended up started to drink

0:13:59.168 --> 0:14:01.008
<v Speaker 2>with him, and it was fun, you know, we were

0:14:01.008 --> 0:14:04.568
<v Speaker 2>having fun with it. It didn't seem like a problem.

0:14:04.648 --> 0:14:07.888
<v Speaker 2>It seemed like something that was a shared thing and

0:14:07.888 --> 0:14:12.768
<v Speaker 2>we'd have fun together. I love to do a lot

0:14:12.768 --> 0:14:16.248
<v Speaker 2>of outdoor activities. I love going hiking and biking and

0:14:16.848 --> 0:14:19.968
<v Speaker 2>running and going to see things and climbing mountains. And

0:14:20.528 --> 0:14:24.128
<v Speaker 2>I quickly realized that he was very avoidant of those activities,

0:14:24.168 --> 0:14:26.808
<v Speaker 2>and what we would tend to do was go to

0:14:26.848 --> 0:14:28.848
<v Speaker 2>the pub, or if we were going out to dinner,

0:14:28.888 --> 0:14:31.848
<v Speaker 2>would go out for drinks and dinner. And there was

0:14:31.928 --> 0:14:35.168
<v Speaker 2>this real repetitive thing. And even though I enjoy going

0:14:35.208 --> 0:14:38.128
<v Speaker 2>out for dinner, it wasn't really something that was super

0:14:38.128 --> 0:14:40.808
<v Speaker 2>in my That wasn't a list of things that I

0:14:40.968 --> 0:14:44.408
<v Speaker 2>tended to do. So I was going out for dinner

0:14:44.448 --> 0:14:48.328
<v Speaker 2>and drinks pretty much all the time because that's what

0:14:48.448 --> 0:14:50.848
<v Speaker 2>he would do. You know. I could see that his

0:14:50.968 --> 0:14:53.768
<v Speaker 2>family was very centered around alcohol as part of their

0:14:53.808 --> 0:14:57.368
<v Speaker 2>family culture. His family drank a lot, He drank a lot.

0:14:57.408 --> 0:14:59.328
<v Speaker 2>I was like, Okay, I mean, it's still just within

0:14:59.568 --> 0:15:02.848
<v Speaker 2>that's his life style. Doesn't mean that he can't bring

0:15:02.888 --> 0:15:06.088
<v Speaker 2>it down, and we can. People can find themselves drinking

0:15:06.088 --> 0:15:07.768
<v Speaker 2>too much, you know, we can sort of reel it

0:15:07.808 --> 0:15:10.168
<v Speaker 2>back in and we can find a way through that.

0:15:10.248 --> 0:15:13.208
<v Speaker 2>So I wasn't totally concerned.

0:15:13.008 --> 0:15:15.808
<v Speaker 1>But that was about to change when one year into

0:15:15.848 --> 0:15:19.688
<v Speaker 1>the relationship something happened that caused more than just concern.

0:15:20.328 --> 0:15:24.368
<v Speaker 2>He got caught drink driving high range, and so he

0:15:24.448 --> 0:15:28.368
<v Speaker 2>lost his license. I would say for about eight months,

0:15:28.568 --> 0:15:34.648
<v Speaker 2>I was just his driver, like I didn't have time

0:15:34.688 --> 0:15:38.168
<v Speaker 2>to really do anything else. He was so demanding to

0:15:38.248 --> 0:15:42.848
<v Speaker 2>be driven around everywhere. We lived in a very isolated environment.

0:15:43.368 --> 0:15:46.008
<v Speaker 2>You know, he lives on a farm, so farms do

0:15:46.088 --> 0:15:49.968
<v Speaker 2>need a lot of equipment, and a lot of trips

0:15:49.968 --> 0:15:54.088
<v Speaker 2>to the hardware, a lot of trips to the agriculture stores,

0:15:54.168 --> 0:15:57.168
<v Speaker 2>and a lot of trips to town. It just suddenly

0:15:57.208 --> 0:16:01.008
<v Speaker 2>became my full time job, and I at that stage

0:16:01.568 --> 0:16:07.568
<v Speaker 2>was driving well over probably fourteen hundred kilometers a week

0:16:08.888 --> 0:16:12.648
<v Speaker 2>just driving him around. We would get caught in these

0:16:12.728 --> 0:16:14.808
<v Speaker 2>kind of arguments where I was like, can we just

0:16:14.928 --> 0:16:16.568
<v Speaker 2>quickly go down, We'll just do it this morning because

0:16:16.568 --> 0:16:19.288
<v Speaker 2>I've got work to do this afternoon, and he would

0:16:20.328 --> 0:16:25.048
<v Speaker 2>just not have any respect for my time and blow

0:16:25.128 --> 0:16:27.488
<v Speaker 2>through the whole day. And I'd get home and I

0:16:27.648 --> 0:16:31.488
<v Speaker 2>just was getting so frustrated. Even to get to our

0:16:31.528 --> 0:16:37.408
<v Speaker 2>small town, which only had a few amenities, was about

0:16:37.408 --> 0:16:40.248
<v Speaker 2>thirty five minutes in If you really put the foot down,

0:16:40.568 --> 0:16:46.008
<v Speaker 2>and he would spend two hours just running around doing

0:16:46.328 --> 0:16:49.688
<v Speaker 2>absolutely nothing and buying things that he really didn't need,

0:16:49.768 --> 0:16:52.168
<v Speaker 2>and then we would spend forty five minutes going back.

0:16:52.248 --> 0:16:55.048
<v Speaker 2>But you know, if we had to go down to

0:16:55.488 --> 0:16:58.008
<v Speaker 2>a bigger city that had more things, which we have

0:16:58.128 --> 0:17:00.048
<v Speaker 2>to do a lot, it would take an hour to

0:17:00.088 --> 0:17:02.448
<v Speaker 2>get there or an hour and a half, depending which

0:17:02.488 --> 0:17:05.648
<v Speaker 2>one we choose. So it's an all day thing. This

0:17:05.728 --> 0:17:07.888
<v Speaker 2>isn't just popping down to the shops. This is if

0:17:07.927 --> 0:17:10.848
<v Speaker 2>I had to take him to town, it takes all day.

0:17:11.608 --> 0:17:15.568
<v Speaker 2>And if he was in town, he runs away. It's

0:17:15.608 --> 0:17:17.288
<v Speaker 2>really hard to get him back in the car. It's

0:17:17.288 --> 0:17:18.648
<v Speaker 2>not just like, let's just go in to town for

0:17:18.648 --> 0:17:20.048
<v Speaker 2>a quick I need to pick up a couple of

0:17:20.048 --> 0:17:21.848
<v Speaker 2>things for dinner, and then get back in the car

0:17:21.928 --> 0:17:23.927
<v Speaker 2>and go home. He would get to town and he

0:17:23.968 --> 0:17:30.687
<v Speaker 2>would disappear. He just would disappear. He would just I

0:17:30.768 --> 0:17:33.448
<v Speaker 2>wouldn't know where he went. Maybe he would go down

0:17:33.528 --> 0:17:36.648
<v Speaker 2>to the mechanic shop and then he'd come back, and

0:17:36.648 --> 0:17:39.167
<v Speaker 2>then he'd be in the bar, and then he'd go

0:17:39.248 --> 0:17:41.728
<v Speaker 2>down up to the post office and then go to

0:17:41.768 --> 0:17:43.967
<v Speaker 2>the pub down the road, and I was just like

0:17:44.008 --> 0:17:45.808
<v Speaker 2>I can't see him, and I'd see him in the distance,

0:17:45.888 --> 0:17:47.808
<v Speaker 2>sort of crossing the road. And he was always very

0:17:47.848 --> 0:17:51.328
<v Speaker 2>fast paced, so always walking so far ahead of you

0:17:51.368 --> 0:17:53.328
<v Speaker 2>and you're sort of having to jog to keep up.

0:17:54.368 --> 0:17:56.207
<v Speaker 2>So I'd sort of be jogging around town trying to

0:17:56.208 --> 0:17:58.768
<v Speaker 2>cop Okay, let's go after this. We'd really need to

0:17:58.768 --> 0:18:00.927
<v Speaker 2>get home. I'd got to do all these things or whatever,

0:18:01.048 --> 0:18:04.928
<v Speaker 2>and he just wouldn't care, would not care about anything

0:18:04.968 --> 0:18:07.168
<v Speaker 2>that I had to do. He would say, I never

0:18:07.208 --> 0:18:09.288
<v Speaker 2>get to come into town, you know, I have to

0:18:09.288 --> 0:18:10.968
<v Speaker 2>do all these things. And I was like, we've been

0:18:10.968 --> 0:18:14.008
<v Speaker 2>in town every day this week. We are doing this

0:18:14.088 --> 0:18:16.208
<v Speaker 2>every day, Like, you don't never get to come into town.

0:18:16.248 --> 0:18:19.888
<v Speaker 2>I'm always taking you into town. So every day was

0:18:20.008 --> 0:18:23.687
<v Speaker 2>running around after him, and we wouldn't often leave in

0:18:23.688 --> 0:18:27.568
<v Speaker 2>the morning and would not get home until dark. The

0:18:27.968 --> 0:18:32.288
<v Speaker 2>driving and the lack of caring about the time I

0:18:32.328 --> 0:18:36.528
<v Speaker 2>was spending driving him was starting to make things difficult,

0:18:36.648 --> 0:18:40.368
<v Speaker 2>and the more I put in some like no, I

0:18:40.408 --> 0:18:43.048
<v Speaker 2>can't drive you today, I have to go to work,

0:18:43.528 --> 0:18:45.568
<v Speaker 2>would amount to a huge blow up.

0:18:45.928 --> 0:18:48.728
<v Speaker 1>It was a challenge. They were navigating together, and June

0:18:48.728 --> 0:18:51.848
<v Speaker 1>showed up with steady support. Despite it, all their love

0:18:51.968 --> 0:18:55.008
<v Speaker 1>held firm. They shared a farm full of animals they adored.

0:18:55.248 --> 0:18:58.167
<v Speaker 1>June was embracing the rhythms of farm life, and together

0:18:58.288 --> 0:19:01.208
<v Speaker 1>they'd found an easy flow at home. But with all

0:19:01.248 --> 0:19:04.448
<v Speaker 1>this added time spent there, June began to notice something else.

0:19:05.128 --> 0:19:07.608
<v Speaker 1>Zach was drinking more, a lot more.

0:19:08.328 --> 0:19:12.928
<v Speaker 2>His only way to get alcohol was through me. At

0:19:12.968 --> 0:19:15.928
<v Speaker 2>his worse, he would drink over a case of beer

0:19:15.968 --> 0:19:20.288
<v Speaker 2>a day, and at his best it would still be

0:19:20.328 --> 0:19:24.848
<v Speaker 2>probably at least three six packs. It got to the

0:19:24.888 --> 0:19:28.808
<v Speaker 2>point halfway through that year that I actually stopped. I said,

0:19:29.288 --> 0:19:32.888
<v Speaker 2>I'm not going to be buying you alcohol anymore. Don't ask,

0:19:33.528 --> 0:19:35.768
<v Speaker 2>I'm not going to be doing it. And it was

0:19:35.808 --> 0:19:38.888
<v Speaker 2>a flat no. It was a never, never, not going

0:19:38.928 --> 0:19:40.848
<v Speaker 2>to You have to find your own way to do that,

0:19:40.888 --> 0:19:43.848
<v Speaker 2>because I am against what this is. I'm against it,

0:19:43.888 --> 0:19:45.688
<v Speaker 2>and you need to stop drinking alcohol.

0:19:45.808 --> 0:19:49.408
<v Speaker 1>Despite June putting her foot down, Zack eventually found other

0:19:49.448 --> 0:19:52.848
<v Speaker 1>people and other ways to get more alcohol. And then

0:19:52.888 --> 0:19:57.048
<v Speaker 1>it happened again, a second dui. This time the consequences

0:19:57.048 --> 0:19:59.728
<v Speaker 1>were far more severe, bringing with them a wave of

0:19:59.768 --> 0:20:01.808
<v Speaker 1>hard truths neither of them could ignore.

0:20:02.208 --> 0:20:05.128
<v Speaker 2>He was court ordered. He was never allowed to enter

0:20:05.168 --> 0:20:09.167
<v Speaker 2>into a licensed premises, so he wasn't able to go

0:20:09.208 --> 0:20:12.728
<v Speaker 2>to a pub anymore. He also was meant to be

0:20:12.808 --> 0:20:16.687
<v Speaker 2>subjected to random breathalyze the tests because he wasn't meant

0:20:16.728 --> 0:20:19.168
<v Speaker 2>to be drinking at all. Can't buy it, can't enter

0:20:19.248 --> 0:20:22.168
<v Speaker 2>into a premises. If the police decided that they wanted

0:20:22.168 --> 0:20:24.728
<v Speaker 2>to come over and breathalyze him, they could, and he

0:20:24.768 --> 0:20:28.608
<v Speaker 2>would be in trouble if he had alcohol. I was like, okay, no,

0:20:28.688 --> 0:20:32.048
<v Speaker 2>this no drinking thing will be good because it means

0:20:32.088 --> 0:20:37.448
<v Speaker 2>that he's forced to really address the problem. And I

0:20:37.488 --> 0:20:43.528
<v Speaker 2>felt really uncomfortable buying him anything, and so pretty quickly

0:20:43.568 --> 0:20:46.248
<v Speaker 2>I said, look, no, I'm not doing it. You're going

0:20:46.288 --> 0:20:48.447
<v Speaker 2>to have to find another way. And so the ways

0:20:48.528 --> 0:20:52.167
<v Speaker 2>became very creative. It just didn't It didn't stop him

0:20:52.168 --> 0:20:56.608
<v Speaker 2>at all. There was a court ordered psych evaluation that

0:20:56.808 --> 0:21:00.407
<v Speaker 2>ended up sort of saying that he prescribed him antipsychotics

0:21:00.888 --> 0:21:04.648
<v Speaker 2>because he really was loose. He was super wild. But

0:21:05.128 --> 0:21:07.568
<v Speaker 2>you know, what I originally loved about him was now

0:21:07.848 --> 0:21:12.888
<v Speaker 2>turning into something that was really toxic about him. But

0:21:12.928 --> 0:21:16.488
<v Speaker 2>he didn't want to take those medications. He was reckless

0:21:16.728 --> 0:21:20.568
<v Speaker 2>and by this stage, I knew he was really mentally unstable.

0:21:20.768 --> 0:21:25.648
<v Speaker 2>So I was dedicated to providing, like, let's get the

0:21:25.688 --> 0:21:28.568
<v Speaker 2>man some help. Like he was always saying things like

0:21:28.608 --> 0:21:31.927
<v Speaker 2>no one ever helps me. I just I need help,

0:21:32.128 --> 0:21:36.688
<v Speaker 2>and he would really lean into the like yeah, I'm unwell,

0:21:37.208 --> 0:21:39.648
<v Speaker 2>and so I'm like, okay, well let's do something about

0:21:39.688 --> 0:21:42.687
<v Speaker 2>it then, like let's seek some help, and you know

0:21:42.728 --> 0:21:43.528
<v Speaker 2>he would agree.

0:21:43.728 --> 0:21:46.568
<v Speaker 1>But dear listener, as we know, there's often a gap

0:21:46.688 --> 0:21:50.128
<v Speaker 1>between what people say and what they actually do. Zach

0:21:50.248 --> 0:21:52.968
<v Speaker 1>never got the help he promised, and nothing really changed.

0:21:53.328 --> 0:21:56.608
<v Speaker 1>June became, in effect his full time driver, something that

0:21:56.648 --> 0:21:58.928
<v Speaker 1>began to take a toll on her ability to run

0:21:58.968 --> 0:22:02.728
<v Speaker 1>her business and on their finances as well. Still, one

0:22:02.768 --> 0:22:06.488
<v Speaker 1>revealing insight began to surface, something that hinted as to

0:22:06.568 --> 0:22:08.328
<v Speaker 1>why he may be behaving this way.

0:22:08.888 --> 0:22:11.608
<v Speaker 2>You know, he would openly say I'm jealous, and I

0:22:11.648 --> 0:22:13.207
<v Speaker 2>would I'd be able to say to him, I was like,

0:22:13.448 --> 0:22:15.487
<v Speaker 2>is it because you're jealous? Like you don't want to

0:22:16.048 --> 0:22:18.248
<v Speaker 2>want me to go and do these Like I stopped traveling.

0:22:18.528 --> 0:22:21.768
<v Speaker 2>I was no longer traveling. I was now stuck in

0:22:21.808 --> 0:22:25.687
<v Speaker 2>the house with him, and when I would go travel,

0:22:25.728 --> 0:22:29.088
<v Speaker 2>he would ghost me, like there was no communication while

0:22:29.088 --> 0:22:31.608
<v Speaker 2>I was traveling. And this happened straight from the get go,

0:22:32.248 --> 0:22:35.808
<v Speaker 2>And so each time I was staring down the barrel

0:22:35.848 --> 0:22:37.568
<v Speaker 2>of like having to go somewhere. If I was going

0:22:37.568 --> 0:22:40.568
<v Speaker 2>away for a couple of weeks, I'd get so anxious

0:22:40.648 --> 0:22:42.528
<v Speaker 2>because he would stop talking to me, and I knew

0:22:42.528 --> 0:22:45.528
<v Speaker 2>he stopped talking to me. And if I was going

0:22:45.528 --> 0:22:48.768
<v Speaker 2>away for work and I was like brainstorming ideas that

0:22:48.808 --> 0:22:50.728
<v Speaker 2>I would do while I was over there, he was

0:22:50.768 --> 0:22:53.568
<v Speaker 2>always really negative about the ideas, which then led to

0:22:53.608 --> 0:22:57.687
<v Speaker 2>a lot of insecurity. I'd stopped all this sort of

0:22:58.488 --> 0:23:02.888
<v Speaker 2>decision making was that I didn't want to feel those feelings,

0:23:02.928 --> 0:23:06.048
<v Speaker 2>so I just would like not go, Okay, I'm not

0:23:06.088 --> 0:23:07.967
<v Speaker 2>going to go, like I don't want to, or like

0:23:08.048 --> 0:23:11.608
<v Speaker 2>he would have this kind of crisis where leading up

0:23:11.648 --> 0:23:13.288
<v Speaker 2>to it where I'm like I felt like I couldn't go.

0:23:14.008 --> 0:23:18.167
<v Speaker 2>And eventually these yeah just kept me pulling more and

0:23:18.208 --> 0:23:21.608
<v Speaker 2>more into myself and losing a lot of the freedoms

0:23:21.648 --> 0:23:24.648
<v Speaker 2>I had. And why I think he would do it

0:23:24.688 --> 0:23:31.328
<v Speaker 2>is because you know, alcoholism is devastating. It is a

0:23:31.448 --> 0:23:36.048
<v Speaker 2>jail cell. He didn't have a car to get him anywhere.

0:23:36.408 --> 0:23:39.488
<v Speaker 2>He also couldn't go anywhere for more than a couple

0:23:39.568 --> 0:23:42.888
<v Speaker 2>of hours because he would have these needs. So he

0:23:42.968 --> 0:23:47.927
<v Speaker 2>was in a living jail. And I think anybody that

0:23:48.248 --> 0:23:51.608
<v Speaker 2>is living like that that feels totally trapped. It's really

0:23:51.648 --> 0:23:54.528
<v Speaker 2>hard to watch somebody who does have such freedom to

0:23:54.648 --> 0:23:56.927
<v Speaker 2>go and do all these things and to do whatever

0:23:56.968 --> 0:24:00.248
<v Speaker 2>they want and to be happy and not locked up

0:24:00.368 --> 0:24:03.328
<v Speaker 2>like he is. I could see that it would be hard,

0:24:03.888 --> 0:24:09.808
<v Speaker 2>and with just how unwell he was, it led to

0:24:10.168 --> 0:24:14.288
<v Speaker 2>him wanting to take it away. But over time, his

0:24:14.408 --> 0:24:19.167
<v Speaker 2>behaviors eroded my confidence to do anything and my brain capacity,

0:24:19.288 --> 0:24:23.648
<v Speaker 2>so I just lost a lot of it. Very motivated

0:24:23.728 --> 0:24:28.848
<v Speaker 2>and I'm very I'm a problem solver, and I was

0:24:28.888 --> 0:24:32.568
<v Speaker 2>dedicated to finding out why he was doing these things.

0:24:32.608 --> 0:24:36.888
<v Speaker 2>And I you know, halfway through the second year, I

0:24:36.968 --> 0:24:40.088
<v Speaker 2>was really starting to seek help. I started going to

0:24:41.048 --> 0:24:44.168
<v Speaker 2>the doctors to say, like, I'm really not feeling good,

0:24:44.968 --> 0:24:48.568
<v Speaker 2>and I let them help me with a mental health plan.

0:24:48.688 --> 0:24:51.848
<v Speaker 2>And I started going to alan on where it's like

0:24:51.968 --> 0:24:55.848
<v Speaker 2>family members and loved ones of alcoholics, kind of like

0:24:55.928 --> 0:24:59.368
<v Speaker 2>the sister side of AA. And so I started to

0:24:59.488 --> 0:25:02.808
<v Speaker 2>learn a lot about it, and that really empowered me

0:25:02.968 --> 0:25:09.528
<v Speaker 2>to remove myself from the emotional tether like me being

0:25:09.568 --> 0:25:13.007
<v Speaker 2>the one trying to control his ups and downs. That

0:25:13.168 --> 0:25:16.648
<v Speaker 2>was me starting to process not being in charge of

0:25:16.688 --> 0:25:20.128
<v Speaker 2>that and having more freedom to walk away from the house.

0:25:20.728 --> 0:25:23.368
<v Speaker 2>I got a job in town, so I started working

0:25:23.368 --> 0:25:26.008
<v Speaker 2>for the local council because I didn't have the brain

0:25:26.128 --> 0:25:28.768
<v Speaker 2>capacity to work on my own business. But I really

0:25:28.808 --> 0:25:31.888
<v Speaker 2>needed money and I wasn't going to sink myself into

0:25:31.928 --> 0:25:34.568
<v Speaker 2>the sand pit that he was in. So I went

0:25:34.648 --> 0:25:37.328
<v Speaker 2>and I applied for just a little job just to

0:25:37.368 --> 0:25:41.048
<v Speaker 2>see me through. And that job was really great because

0:25:41.088 --> 0:25:42.568
<v Speaker 2>it got me out of the house every day.

0:25:42.968 --> 0:25:45.728
<v Speaker 1>This new sense of freedom and the space between them

0:25:45.848 --> 0:25:49.088
<v Speaker 1>seemed to help. Beneath it all, their relationships still rested

0:25:49.168 --> 0:25:51.728
<v Speaker 1>on a strong foundation, and they were both determined to

0:25:51.728 --> 0:25:54.008
<v Speaker 1>find their way through what they knew was a deeply

0:25:54.048 --> 0:25:54.888
<v Speaker 1>difficult patch.

0:25:55.328 --> 0:25:59.088
<v Speaker 2>I continued to try and work on the plight of

0:25:59.248 --> 0:26:03.167
<v Speaker 2>getting him to stop drinking, and he wanted to. He

0:26:03.248 --> 0:26:06.048
<v Speaker 2>wanted to, He knew all this. He was very open

0:26:06.088 --> 0:26:08.967
<v Speaker 2>and honest, and we would have these great conversations that

0:26:09.048 --> 0:26:11.888
<v Speaker 2>felt like break trees all the time. So I was

0:26:11.928 --> 0:26:15.687
<v Speaker 2>still very dedicated to trying to make it work. I

0:26:15.848 --> 0:26:18.608
<v Speaker 2>just kept on telling myself that this was just a

0:26:18.648 --> 0:26:21.568
<v Speaker 2>bad patch. He just needs love and support. But once

0:26:21.608 --> 0:26:24.568
<v Speaker 2>we get through this, the bones are good. You know.

0:26:24.648 --> 0:26:28.687
<v Speaker 2>We do share so much together and we have so

0:26:28.768 --> 0:26:31.608
<v Speaker 2>much in common, and if he could get help for

0:26:31.728 --> 0:26:34.448
<v Speaker 2>his drinking, everything would be fine.

0:26:35.048 --> 0:26:38.448
<v Speaker 1>Another part of these good conversations was planning to start

0:26:38.488 --> 0:26:41.808
<v Speaker 1>a family. It was something June desperately wanted to do

0:26:42.488 --> 0:26:43.888
<v Speaker 1>with or without Zach.

0:26:44.368 --> 0:26:48.848
<v Speaker 2>I had always said to him that this is something

0:26:48.928 --> 0:26:51.368
<v Speaker 2>that I want for my future. You know, if you

0:26:51.408 --> 0:26:53.928
<v Speaker 2>don't want to have a family or a child, that's

0:26:54.168 --> 0:26:57.208
<v Speaker 2>so fine. You just need to know that that is something.

0:26:57.328 --> 0:27:01.288
<v Speaker 2>And he really refused to avoid the conversation for a

0:27:01.328 --> 0:27:03.687
<v Speaker 2>good year and a half. I would say to him, like,

0:27:03.728 --> 0:27:06.328
<v Speaker 2>it's so fine that you don't, but I at this stage,

0:27:06.328 --> 0:27:08.167
<v Speaker 2>I am now going to look for a sperm donor,

0:27:08.768 --> 0:27:13.088
<v Speaker 2>which really set him and he, you know, another six

0:27:13.128 --> 0:27:17.048
<v Speaker 2>months would go by, and you know, I started teeing

0:27:17.128 --> 0:27:20.848
<v Speaker 2>up people in my life that would potentially be sperm donors.

0:27:20.848 --> 0:27:24.208
<v Speaker 2>And I was going down this avenue and he said

0:27:24.208 --> 0:27:26.488
<v Speaker 2>that I wouldn't be with you if you had a child.

0:27:26.808 --> 0:27:28.568
<v Speaker 2>That's the end of the relationship. And I said that

0:27:28.688 --> 0:27:31.248
<v Speaker 2>is so fine. You know, I know this about me,

0:27:31.688 --> 0:27:33.288
<v Speaker 2>that this is something that I want to do before

0:27:33.288 --> 0:27:35.968
<v Speaker 2>the time is over, that I can do it. That's

0:27:35.968 --> 0:27:38.728
<v Speaker 2>so fine. But what kept on happening is that he

0:27:38.768 --> 0:27:40.288
<v Speaker 2>would go be He's like, no, no, I want a

0:27:40.288 --> 0:27:42.848
<v Speaker 2>family with you. And I'm like, okay, great, let's have

0:27:42.848 --> 0:27:46.608
<v Speaker 2>a family. Then we'll figure it out. Like we're always

0:27:46.648 --> 0:27:49.408
<v Speaker 2>working on this road, so like, let's just figure it out.

0:27:49.488 --> 0:27:51.968
<v Speaker 2>Let's figure out how we're going to do that. And

0:27:52.008 --> 0:27:54.848
<v Speaker 2>then he would backtrack and he's like no, and I

0:27:54.928 --> 0:27:58.088
<v Speaker 2>was like, okay, that's also fine. But he would do

0:27:58.168 --> 0:28:01.608
<v Speaker 2>this back and forth and I think I was so

0:28:02.768 --> 0:28:05.488
<v Speaker 2>in whiplash about doing it. And then he would agree

0:28:05.528 --> 0:28:08.728
<v Speaker 2>and I said, okay, well then let's do it. Stop

0:28:08.928 --> 0:28:11.407
<v Speaker 2>throwing me around, and let's do it. So I was

0:28:11.488 --> 0:28:16.248
<v Speaker 2>by this stage baby hungry and feverish for it. And

0:28:17.048 --> 0:28:21.848
<v Speaker 2>so we started trying for a child. We ended up

0:28:21.848 --> 0:28:26.207
<v Speaker 2>falling pregnant after about six maybe eight months of trying.

0:28:27.368 --> 0:28:29.368
<v Speaker 2>He sort of wrapped me up in his arms and

0:28:29.528 --> 0:28:31.608
<v Speaker 2>he said, oh my god, I'm going to be a father.

0:28:32.768 --> 0:28:37.248
<v Speaker 2>And he loves children, and I think he you know,

0:28:37.288 --> 0:28:39.608
<v Speaker 2>what he liked about them is the innocence and just

0:28:39.688 --> 0:28:43.648
<v Speaker 2>how pure they were, and he sees such light in them.

0:28:43.808 --> 0:28:46.648
<v Speaker 2>And I always thought that he will be a good dad.

0:28:47.528 --> 0:28:50.088
<v Speaker 2>So he was really excited and we were both really excited.

0:28:50.128 --> 0:28:55.008
<v Speaker 2>But I had a horrendous first trimester. I was severely unwell,

0:28:55.288 --> 0:28:59.328
<v Speaker 2>and at first he was really great at caring for me,

0:29:00.128 --> 0:29:01.688
<v Speaker 2>and so there was a lot of joy and a

0:29:01.688 --> 0:29:04.248
<v Speaker 2>lot of hope. And even though I was really really sick,

0:29:05.448 --> 0:29:08.648
<v Speaker 2>he was being very caring. He was a good cook,

0:29:08.728 --> 0:29:12.008
<v Speaker 2>and he you know, he'd put all your washing on,

0:29:12.128 --> 0:29:14.248
<v Speaker 2>and you know, you do all these things. So you know,

0:29:14.248 --> 0:29:17.808
<v Speaker 2>he had such great characteristics as well, and they really

0:29:17.848 --> 0:29:20.848
<v Speaker 2>shined in those first couple of months. So things were

0:29:20.848 --> 0:29:22.008
<v Speaker 2>really looking great.

0:29:22.368 --> 0:29:26.168
<v Speaker 1>Until they weren't. It started with what may seem like

0:29:26.208 --> 0:29:27.408
<v Speaker 1>the smallest of things.

0:29:28.088 --> 0:29:30.848
<v Speaker 2>I was so unwell that I was like, can you please,

0:29:30.928 --> 0:29:33.888
<v Speaker 2>just like this, take me for a walk. And I

0:29:33.928 --> 0:29:35.888
<v Speaker 2>was just so desperate for someone to take me for

0:29:35.928 --> 0:29:38.408
<v Speaker 2>a walk. Because he was still very much housebound and

0:29:39.048 --> 0:29:42.688
<v Speaker 2>really entrenched in the house. He still didn't have a license,

0:29:42.808 --> 0:29:47.488
<v Speaker 2>still was deep in his drinking. He's escalated drinking, and

0:29:47.888 --> 0:29:51.488
<v Speaker 2>he was still very much house bound. He started to

0:29:51.608 --> 0:29:54.848
<v Speaker 2>have an extreme anxiety about even leaving the house. It

0:29:54.848 --> 0:29:57.168
<v Speaker 2>had gotten to that point, so he found it really

0:29:57.168 --> 0:29:59.408
<v Speaker 2>hard to just go for a walk with me. And

0:30:00.288 --> 0:30:02.928
<v Speaker 2>he would always say, I'm just so busy, I'm so busy,

0:30:03.048 --> 0:30:04.968
<v Speaker 2>which is not He's not busy doing anything, you know,

0:30:05.008 --> 0:30:06.848
<v Speaker 2>he's not really doing anything on the farm. He's not

0:30:06.888 --> 0:30:10.048
<v Speaker 2>doing anything, but he is busy in his head. So

0:30:11.008 --> 0:30:14.648
<v Speaker 2>what sort of started turning the pregnancy south was that

0:30:14.728 --> 0:30:16.448
<v Speaker 2>I was like, I was just desperate for someone to

0:30:16.488 --> 0:30:19.408
<v Speaker 2>spend time with me, to go for a walk. I

0:30:19.488 --> 0:30:21.928
<v Speaker 2>really want to be out in nature. Please, can we

0:30:22.008 --> 0:30:24.848
<v Speaker 2>just do this together? And he just couldn't, And I

0:30:24.888 --> 0:30:28.328
<v Speaker 2>was getting more and more stressed about that. You know,

0:30:28.328 --> 0:30:30.968
<v Speaker 2>if that's fine. He was putting the heated blanket on

0:30:31.008 --> 0:30:33.768
<v Speaker 2>for me at night and making me a cup of

0:30:33.808 --> 0:30:37.528
<v Speaker 2>tea and freshly squeezing the grapefruit and things like that,

0:30:37.688 --> 0:30:40.728
<v Speaker 2>But what I was asking for directly is like, can

0:30:40.768 --> 0:30:45.368
<v Speaker 2>you please go for a walk? And he couldn't, And

0:30:45.848 --> 0:30:48.728
<v Speaker 2>I was getting more and more distressed about that because

0:30:48.728 --> 0:30:50.328
<v Speaker 2>that's what I really really needed.

0:30:50.248 --> 0:30:53.008
<v Speaker 1>Which then transitions into the biggest of things.

0:30:53.608 --> 0:30:57.968
<v Speaker 2>He started talking to his ex girlfriend Jess. He had

0:30:58.008 --> 0:31:01.368
<v Speaker 2>always talked about her through our relationship, and I'd always

0:31:01.408 --> 0:31:03.528
<v Speaker 2>been like, it's you know, it sounds like you guys

0:31:03.528 --> 0:31:06.088
<v Speaker 2>have got some unfinished business. Why don't you like talk

0:31:06.128 --> 0:31:08.968
<v Speaker 2>to her or something, reach out Because you talk about

0:31:09.008 --> 0:31:11.808
<v Speaker 2>her all the time and hearing about her all the time,

0:31:12.728 --> 0:31:15.888
<v Speaker 2>That relationship for him ended up in a restraining order.

0:31:16.488 --> 0:31:19.488
<v Speaker 2>She was much younger than him, and his account was

0:31:19.488 --> 0:31:21.528
<v Speaker 2>that she was a very explosive person too, and she

0:31:21.568 --> 0:31:27.608
<v Speaker 2>was crazy. I started looking at his computers and looking

0:31:27.608 --> 0:31:30.608
<v Speaker 2>at his phone when he was away from his phone,

0:31:30.608 --> 0:31:33.528
<v Speaker 2>which is very rarely because his phone was attached to

0:31:33.568 --> 0:31:36.928
<v Speaker 2>him like glue. But I did find a way into

0:31:36.928 --> 0:31:39.968
<v Speaker 2>his computer and all his messages were on his computer,

0:31:40.248 --> 0:31:43.928
<v Speaker 2>so I saw the extent of their relationship, which was

0:31:44.288 --> 0:31:51.008
<v Speaker 2>a sexual relationship. There was them reminiscing about all the

0:31:51.048 --> 0:31:57.008
<v Speaker 2>sex that they used to have, and he would be

0:31:57.128 --> 0:32:03.328
<v Speaker 2>coaxing her to sort of send nudes and you know,

0:32:03.488 --> 0:32:07.928
<v Speaker 2>upskirts of herself and things like that. I also found

0:32:08.008 --> 0:32:12.528
<v Speaker 2>text messages from other girls on there that made it

0:32:12.608 --> 0:32:16.208
<v Speaker 2>clear that he was also on Tinder and talking to

0:32:16.368 --> 0:32:20.208
<v Speaker 2>lots and lots of different women and treating them terribly.

0:32:21.048 --> 0:32:27.448
<v Speaker 2>After everything we'd already been through, seeing these messages I

0:32:27.568 --> 0:32:32.568
<v Speaker 2>felt like my whole body just ran cold, and I

0:32:32.728 --> 0:32:38.728
<v Speaker 2>just felt incredibly numb. And seeing that was just the

0:32:38.768 --> 0:32:43.248
<v Speaker 2>most horrendous feeling after it everything already that we'd gone through.

0:32:44.128 --> 0:32:47.448
<v Speaker 2>There was one particular girl who was being really nice

0:32:47.448 --> 0:32:51.368
<v Speaker 2>to him, and then he would say something like you

0:32:51.448 --> 0:32:55.048
<v Speaker 2>look like a fat bitch, and it would just be

0:32:55.168 --> 0:33:01.168
<v Speaker 2>like sorry. Like it was just this very open, just

0:33:01.728 --> 0:33:05.248
<v Speaker 2>a way for him to hurt people because he was

0:33:05.288 --> 0:33:09.568
<v Speaker 2>so hurt, Like he just hurt people, hurt people, and

0:33:11.208 --> 0:33:14.888
<v Speaker 2>it was just the way to be mean to people

0:33:14.968 --> 0:33:18.408
<v Speaker 2>because he just felt so crab about himself. And then

0:33:18.488 --> 0:33:21.208
<v Speaker 2>there was you know, other women that he was just

0:33:22.448 --> 0:33:26.168
<v Speaker 2>trying to get nudes out. Like he would he'd be like,

0:33:26.208 --> 0:33:27.968
<v Speaker 2>send me a picture of this, send me a picture

0:33:27.968 --> 0:33:30.008
<v Speaker 2>of this, and they would, so he had this collection

0:33:30.208 --> 0:33:34.368
<v Speaker 2>of porn imagery of these poor women. It was cruel.

0:33:34.688 --> 0:33:37.208
<v Speaker 2>I knew he had issues, but I never thought that

0:33:37.288 --> 0:33:42.488
<v Speaker 2>he could be this cruel.

0:33:44.568 --> 0:33:47.688
<v Speaker 1>It was time for real action. The drinking, the cheating,

0:33:47.768 --> 0:33:50.808
<v Speaker 1>the blow ups, the strain on his mental health, something

0:33:50.888 --> 0:33:53.888
<v Speaker 1>had to give. So Zach made a big decision. He

0:33:53.968 --> 0:33:55.848
<v Speaker 1>went to rehab in Bali.

0:33:56.768 --> 0:34:00.608
<v Speaker 2>I was in tears when he was leaving not because

0:34:01.328 --> 0:34:03.528
<v Speaker 2>I was sad for him to go, but it was

0:34:03.648 --> 0:34:08.328
<v Speaker 2>because this the last few years had just been so

0:34:09.808 --> 0:34:16.527
<v Speaker 2>had ecsmic. I was so exhausted, and I just was

0:34:16.768 --> 0:34:19.368
<v Speaker 2>in tears, and he just gave me this hug and

0:34:19.448 --> 0:34:22.567
<v Speaker 2>with the most normal voice, as if none of this

0:34:22.688 --> 0:34:25.408
<v Speaker 2>has ever happened. He'd just say that this is Everything's

0:34:25.448 --> 0:34:28.568
<v Speaker 2>going to be okay, and he left. I was seven

0:34:28.648 --> 0:34:35.248
<v Speaker 2>months pregnant when he went to Bali, and he never

0:34:35.328 --> 0:34:39.647
<v Speaker 2>made it to the intake. He just decided I didn't

0:34:39.648 --> 0:34:41.448
<v Speaker 2>want to do it anymore, and then spent two months

0:34:41.448 --> 0:34:45.248
<v Speaker 2>partying in Bali, and during that time that he was

0:34:45.248 --> 0:34:48.208
<v Speaker 2>out of the house, I left for good. So it

0:34:48.248 --> 0:34:52.768
<v Speaker 2>was a very strange clothes to the relationship. It just

0:34:54.048 --> 0:34:58.408
<v Speaker 2>died away. It was so bizarre. He had to push

0:34:58.488 --> 0:35:02.288
<v Speaker 2>me unbelievably hard to make me be the one that

0:35:02.328 --> 0:35:06.928
<v Speaker 2>walks away. I was pretty disappointed, but by that stage

0:35:07.448 --> 0:35:11.408
<v Speaker 2>thoroughly focused on the pre ignancy. He never came to

0:35:11.448 --> 0:35:14.527
<v Speaker 2>any appointments. This was my first child. I really did

0:35:14.568 --> 0:35:18.087
<v Speaker 2>it alone, never had anybody coming to any appointments. I

0:35:18.088 --> 0:35:20.408
<v Speaker 2>had never had anybody coming to the hospital. Obviously, he

0:35:20.448 --> 0:35:23.368
<v Speaker 2>couldn't still drive me anywhere. So I was always taking

0:35:23.368 --> 0:35:28.008
<v Speaker 2>myself everywhere. It was a very lonely pregnancy, but I

0:35:28.128 --> 0:35:33.808
<v Speaker 2>was so joyed the midwives had clocked, as they do,

0:35:34.128 --> 0:35:36.768
<v Speaker 2>that I was in an unsafe environment and I was

0:35:36.808 --> 0:35:39.687
<v Speaker 2>really cared for. I was given a support worker, and

0:35:40.168 --> 0:35:42.368
<v Speaker 2>I had a lot of support during it, and that

0:35:42.488 --> 0:35:46.768
<v Speaker 2>really helped me untwine, like unwind myself from the grips

0:35:46.808 --> 0:35:49.888
<v Speaker 2>of what was going on. And also him being out

0:35:49.888 --> 0:35:52.688
<v Speaker 2>of the house and not talking to me at all.

0:35:52.728 --> 0:35:55.648
<v Speaker 2>I couldn't contact him at all. He wouldn't respond or

0:35:55.968 --> 0:35:59.087
<v Speaker 2>communicate or anything like that gave a lot more like

0:35:59.168 --> 0:36:03.688
<v Speaker 2>breathing space for me to figure out where I was

0:36:03.728 --> 0:36:05.888
<v Speaker 2>going to go, what I was going to do. And

0:36:06.648 --> 0:36:09.127
<v Speaker 2>by this stage I had removed all my belongings from

0:36:09.168 --> 0:36:13.448
<v Speaker 2>the house anywhere because my belongings really annoyed him. So

0:36:13.528 --> 0:36:15.288
<v Speaker 2>a lot of my stuff was down at my parents,

0:36:15.528 --> 0:36:17.808
<v Speaker 2>which was three and a half hours away, so it

0:36:17.848 --> 0:36:20.928
<v Speaker 2>really didn't take too much to leave the house. We

0:36:20.968 --> 0:36:24.288
<v Speaker 2>really didn't speak to each other again for months. I

0:36:24.328 --> 0:36:28.768
<v Speaker 2>attempted to communicate through a few different ways about the pregnancy,

0:36:28.968 --> 0:36:31.248
<v Speaker 2>like this is what's happening. You know. There was some

0:36:31.288 --> 0:36:34.648
<v Speaker 2>complications there. It was a high risk pregnancy, so I

0:36:34.808 --> 0:36:39.088
<v Speaker 2>was trying to communicate that with him and his mom,

0:36:39.208 --> 0:36:42.928
<v Speaker 2>but you know, they really weren't interested at all, So

0:36:43.808 --> 0:36:46.648
<v Speaker 2>I just carried on with what I was doing. It

0:36:46.768 --> 0:36:51.128
<v Speaker 2>was an incredibly difficult time, and I found it excruciating

0:36:51.208 --> 0:36:54.567
<v Speaker 2>to be at work. I was incapable of working. My

0:36:54.648 --> 0:36:59.768
<v Speaker 2>mental health was really bad. But what wasn't bad was

0:36:59.808 --> 0:37:03.488
<v Speaker 2>the breathing space that I had from him, and everything

0:37:03.488 --> 0:37:06.608
<v Speaker 2>else just felt so much more manageable without him in

0:37:06.648 --> 0:37:08.968
<v Speaker 2>my life. I wasn't sure he was even going to

0:37:08.968 --> 0:37:12.248
<v Speaker 2>be at the It really was the last week of

0:37:12.288 --> 0:37:16.368
<v Speaker 2>my pregnancy that I heard anything from him, and unfortunately

0:37:16.408 --> 0:37:21.448
<v Speaker 2>he was there at the book. He looked horrendous. He'd

0:37:21.448 --> 0:37:25.047
<v Speaker 2>put on lots of weight, he looked shocking because he'd

0:37:25.048 --> 0:37:27.808
<v Speaker 2>spent a few months partying and eating and just not

0:37:27.848 --> 0:37:31.888
<v Speaker 2>doing anything, and so he looked horrendous. When I was

0:37:32.128 --> 0:37:36.008
<v Speaker 2>in hospital about to give birth, and he wasn't in

0:37:36.048 --> 0:37:40.648
<v Speaker 2>the room even when she was born, he kept on

0:37:40.768 --> 0:37:42.488
<v Speaker 2>leaving the room and I was on the phone to

0:37:42.528 --> 0:37:44.728
<v Speaker 2>other people, and so it was just me and my

0:37:44.808 --> 0:37:47.768
<v Speaker 2>mom in the room, which was nice, which I am

0:37:47.808 --> 0:37:51.727
<v Speaker 2>really grateful for now because the first person she saw

0:37:51.888 --> 0:37:55.888
<v Speaker 2>was my mum, and that was the first connection she

0:37:55.968 --> 0:38:00.168
<v Speaker 2>got when she was born. I definitely felt that the

0:38:00.248 --> 0:38:04.648
<v Speaker 2>spell had been broken, and you know, with her cord cutting,

0:38:04.968 --> 0:38:09.008
<v Speaker 2>my cord got cut too, and I no longer had

0:38:09.368 --> 0:38:13.808
<v Speaker 2>any for any drama that he wanted to dish out.

0:38:13.928 --> 0:38:18.087
<v Speaker 2>I no longer had any need for his love, for

0:38:18.208 --> 0:38:22.528
<v Speaker 2>his acceptance. When we did reconnect after my daughter was born,

0:38:23.608 --> 0:38:26.488
<v Speaker 2>a big component of the narrative for him is like,

0:38:26.528 --> 0:38:28.808
<v Speaker 2>you left me, You took her away from me, You

0:38:28.928 --> 0:38:33.208
<v Speaker 2>left me, And I was like, no, we split up

0:38:33.288 --> 0:38:35.488
<v Speaker 2>and I went home to my parents. Where'd you think

0:38:35.528 --> 0:38:38.488
<v Speaker 2>I was going to go? And he came to visit

0:38:38.568 --> 0:38:41.728
<v Speaker 2>a couple of times and did a couple of things.

0:38:41.808 --> 0:38:44.968
<v Speaker 2>But in the end, what I kind of knew would

0:38:45.008 --> 0:38:48.288
<v Speaker 2>happen is that he just took himself away. You know,

0:38:48.368 --> 0:38:51.087
<v Speaker 2>I used to I'd take her up there a couple

0:38:51.168 --> 0:38:54.768
<v Speaker 2>of times to try to encourage a connection, but there

0:38:54.848 --> 0:38:58.888
<v Speaker 2>just really wasn't any that I could see happening. And

0:38:59.208 --> 0:39:02.248
<v Speaker 2>even though we were in the house, he wasn't he

0:39:02.328 --> 0:39:06.087
<v Speaker 2>was out working, or his father was up. He was

0:39:06.128 --> 0:39:10.208
<v Speaker 2>out working with him and really didn't engage with us

0:39:09.848 --> 0:39:13.568
<v Speaker 2>us much and I'd sort of encourage him to maybe

0:39:13.608 --> 0:39:16.368
<v Speaker 2>try and put it asleep or like do things that

0:39:16.808 --> 0:39:21.008
<v Speaker 2>he wanted to build a connection with them, but just

0:39:21.048 --> 0:39:25.288
<v Speaker 2>don't think that he has it in him. And eventually

0:39:26.008 --> 0:39:31.328
<v Speaker 2>he made up some drama about like one of our dogs,

0:39:31.928 --> 0:39:35.808
<v Speaker 2>and by that stage I'd really disconnected from any of

0:39:35.848 --> 0:39:40.088
<v Speaker 2>his drama. That if he was really upset and unraveling

0:39:40.128 --> 0:39:44.248
<v Speaker 2>and trying to cause something, it didn't really phase me anymore.

0:39:44.408 --> 0:39:48.408
<v Speaker 2>And I knew a few tactics now, and I had

0:39:48.488 --> 0:39:52.647
<v Speaker 2>my peace to try to maintain for my daughter. And

0:39:52.888 --> 0:39:56.368
<v Speaker 2>so you know, even though he was trying to upset

0:39:56.368 --> 0:40:01.168
<v Speaker 2>me and try to continue the dynamic, I really didn't

0:40:01.408 --> 0:40:06.008
<v Speaker 2>have anything to offer him anymore. And after that one

0:40:06.128 --> 0:40:10.047
<v Speaker 2>last blow up about something really silly, I just haven't

0:40:10.088 --> 0:40:12.648
<v Speaker 2>heard from him again. And that was a year and

0:40:12.688 --> 0:40:16.688
<v Speaker 2>a half ago. I've heard along the lines that he

0:40:16.808 --> 0:40:19.328
<v Speaker 2>has told people that he's not allowed to see her,

0:40:19.728 --> 0:40:23.448
<v Speaker 2>which is not the case at all, but that's something

0:40:23.488 --> 0:40:27.527
<v Speaker 2>that keeps his looks intact. I've took her away and

0:40:27.568 --> 0:40:29.888
<v Speaker 2>he's not allowed to see her, but that's not the

0:40:29.928 --> 0:40:33.928
<v Speaker 2>case at all. He just doesn't have the mental capacity

0:40:34.648 --> 0:40:39.568
<v Speaker 2>for it. And it's the best thing for our daughter.

0:40:39.808 --> 0:40:42.888
<v Speaker 2>As well. You know, she's now at an age where

0:40:43.048 --> 0:40:48.527
<v Speaker 2>she definitely understands a lot, and if there was this

0:40:48.648 --> 0:40:51.248
<v Speaker 2>presence that was a chaotic presence in her life that

0:40:51.288 --> 0:40:54.168
<v Speaker 2>would sort of tap in but mostly be absent and

0:40:54.208 --> 0:40:56.888
<v Speaker 2>then come in, tap in and out, it would be

0:40:56.928 --> 0:41:00.128
<v Speaker 2>extremely detrimental. So I'm very thankful for him in a

0:41:00.128 --> 0:41:03.248
<v Speaker 2>lot of ways, and I you know, if we do communicate,

0:41:03.328 --> 0:41:05.888
<v Speaker 2>I'll be telling him that that I was thankful for

0:41:06.128 --> 0:41:10.527
<v Speaker 2>the decision. And I have no ill feelings towards him,

0:41:10.568 --> 0:41:14.328
<v Speaker 2>to be honest, I mostly feel a lot of sadness

0:41:14.368 --> 0:41:16.968
<v Speaker 2>that he's living that life because he has a lot

0:41:17.008 --> 0:41:21.328
<v Speaker 2>of opportunity, and I am a very peaceful person. I

0:41:21.488 --> 0:41:24.488
<v Speaker 2>do not want to engage in any arguments. I'd be

0:41:24.568 --> 0:41:27.727
<v Speaker 2>more than happy for us to like find a way

0:41:27.928 --> 0:41:31.568
<v Speaker 2>that fits within his abilities to be in her life.

0:41:31.608 --> 0:41:34.848
<v Speaker 2>I'd love that for her. And yeah, I'm hoping that

0:41:34.888 --> 0:41:37.528
<v Speaker 2>one day he does want to be in her life

0:41:37.528 --> 0:41:41.728
<v Speaker 2>and come in a really genuine way that knows his

0:41:41.808 --> 0:41:46.607
<v Speaker 2>limitations in that we can work within it, because it's

0:41:46.648 --> 0:41:47.368
<v Speaker 2>a real blessing.

0:41:47.848 --> 0:41:50.408
<v Speaker 1>June was determined to be the best mother she could,

0:41:50.648 --> 0:41:52.448
<v Speaker 1>and to do that, she knew she had to do

0:41:52.488 --> 0:41:53.527
<v Speaker 1>the work on herself.

0:41:53.968 --> 0:41:57.047
<v Speaker 2>I sought quite a lot of help after it. I

0:41:57.208 --> 0:42:02.128
<v Speaker 2>was extremely fragile, there was a lot of mistrust in people.

0:42:02.328 --> 0:42:07.087
<v Speaker 2>There was heaps of residual impact, like emotional impact from it,

0:42:07.368 --> 0:42:09.208
<v Speaker 2>even though I had severed my ties and I really

0:42:09.208 --> 0:42:13.087
<v Speaker 2>didn't feel any thing towards him. Coming back to life

0:42:13.168 --> 0:42:16.127
<v Speaker 2>took a long long time, and I sought helped through

0:42:16.408 --> 0:42:22.048
<v Speaker 2>a women's refuge sort of service, and they really helped

0:42:22.048 --> 0:42:25.288
<v Speaker 2>me understand the cycle of abuse, and they helped me

0:42:26.488 --> 0:42:30.127
<v Speaker 2>educate myself as to why this happened, how common this is,

0:42:30.888 --> 0:42:34.848
<v Speaker 2>that it wasn't my fault that these things happen, and

0:42:34.888 --> 0:42:37.968
<v Speaker 2>you can recognize it when it's happening better now, and

0:42:38.008 --> 0:42:42.608
<v Speaker 2>they really helped me. And I've also have such a

0:42:42.648 --> 0:42:47.808
<v Speaker 2>strong interest in social services and helping drug and alcohol

0:42:48.248 --> 0:42:53.647
<v Speaker 2>affected families and people, and so I have gone even

0:42:53.688 --> 0:42:56.808
<v Speaker 2>though I have tried to recoup my business, it's very

0:42:56.808 --> 0:42:59.888
<v Speaker 2>difficult being a single parent to have the time to

0:42:59.968 --> 0:43:04.167
<v Speaker 2>do that. So whilst I'm not given up on rebuilding it,

0:43:04.328 --> 0:43:08.288
<v Speaker 2>I am also doing some study at night doing drug

0:43:08.288 --> 0:43:12.688
<v Speaker 2>and alcohol support work. So it has changed my trajectory

0:43:12.768 --> 0:43:15.408
<v Speaker 2>quite a lot, and I'm really excited to dive in

0:43:15.568 --> 0:43:19.728
<v Speaker 2>with like lived experience to help people that I listened

0:43:19.768 --> 0:43:24.168
<v Speaker 2>to AA podcasts, I'm still going to alan on. I

0:43:24.288 --> 0:43:29.408
<v Speaker 2>still am drawn to their experiences and I like reading

0:43:29.568 --> 0:43:32.488
<v Speaker 2>about it. I love listening to podcasts about addiction. I

0:43:32.528 --> 0:43:36.328
<v Speaker 2>love reading books about addiction because it all just puts

0:43:36.368 --> 0:43:39.607
<v Speaker 2>things in perspective and place for me of what I

0:43:39.688 --> 0:43:42.567
<v Speaker 2>experienced and that it sort of sets in concrete that

0:43:42.648 --> 0:43:45.608
<v Speaker 2>it really wasn't my fault. And as for Zack, the

0:43:45.728 --> 0:43:50.008
<v Speaker 2>last year, is not had a working car, so he

0:43:50.048 --> 0:43:54.607
<v Speaker 2>has gone back to that sort of same routine where

0:43:54.608 --> 0:43:57.328
<v Speaker 2>he can't get off the farm and relying on other people.

0:43:57.408 --> 0:43:59.127
<v Speaker 2>But I think he from the sounds of it, he's

0:43:59.128 --> 0:44:02.768
<v Speaker 2>burnt quite a lot of bridges around him. He's an

0:44:02.848 --> 0:44:07.088
<v Speaker 2>incredibly resilient person. Can't live a life like that without

0:44:07.328 --> 0:44:11.488
<v Speaker 2>some level of strength to continue on. Because to wake

0:44:11.608 --> 0:44:14.968
<v Speaker 2>up every day feeling as bad as he does takes

0:44:15.008 --> 0:44:18.288
<v Speaker 2>a lot of strength. So no doubt he will power

0:44:18.288 --> 0:44:21.608
<v Speaker 2>on and continue. I hope that he finds some level

0:44:21.728 --> 0:44:25.848
<v Speaker 2>of function, that he can find some level of peace,

0:44:26.288 --> 0:44:30.888
<v Speaker 2>and that maybe one day the catalyst comes that needs

0:44:30.928 --> 0:44:34.888
<v Speaker 2>to come that will change his mindset, and that he

0:44:34.928 --> 0:44:38.088
<v Speaker 2>does want to participate in, you know, like her life.

0:44:38.128 --> 0:44:40.368
<v Speaker 2>I'm sure she would one day love to meet him,

0:44:40.488 --> 0:44:43.968
<v Speaker 2>and I hope that she gets to. I don't have

0:44:44.528 --> 0:44:51.488
<v Speaker 2>any interest in any relationships. Certainly. My priority is to

0:44:51.648 --> 0:44:56.728
<v Speaker 2>get the parenting right for my daughter. I really don't

0:44:57.288 --> 0:45:00.448
<v Speaker 2>feel like I have capacity to be the best parent

0:45:00.488 --> 0:45:03.288
<v Speaker 2>and also get to know somebody. So not to say

0:45:03.368 --> 0:45:06.248
<v Speaker 2>that in another five ten years that will open up

0:45:06.248 --> 0:45:09.968
<v Speaker 2>for me, but I'm so obsessed with wanting to be

0:45:10.488 --> 0:45:13.168
<v Speaker 2>the best for her and to spend any waking moment

0:45:13.248 --> 0:45:17.408
<v Speaker 2>we can together, and I really have no desire to

0:45:17.448 --> 0:45:21.328
<v Speaker 2>have anybody else in my life like that. I do

0:45:21.448 --> 0:45:25.128
<v Speaker 2>have quite a few brothers, so I love spending time

0:45:25.208 --> 0:45:28.928
<v Speaker 2>with them and their families and connecting my daughter with

0:45:29.528 --> 0:45:33.408
<v Speaker 2>all this positive masculine energies I can because you know,

0:45:33.528 --> 0:45:37.288
<v Speaker 2>obviously I worry about her having some father issues when

0:45:37.288 --> 0:45:41.608
<v Speaker 2>she's older. So what my priority is is bringing beautiful

0:45:41.608 --> 0:45:46.608
<v Speaker 2>men into her life. So unless there is some person

0:45:46.688 --> 0:45:51.127
<v Speaker 2>that is really something spectacular, it's not something that I

0:45:51.168 --> 0:45:56.008
<v Speaker 2>have any drive to do right now. I'm still with

0:45:56.168 --> 0:46:00.008
<v Speaker 2>my family. They also have a cattle farm, and we

0:46:00.488 --> 0:46:03.448
<v Speaker 2>just live very close to nature and we get to

0:46:03.448 --> 0:46:07.008
<v Speaker 2>spend so much time together, and she's wonderful. She looks

0:46:07.008 --> 0:46:12.208
<v Speaker 2>so much like him, and she has such a vibrant energy,

0:46:12.408 --> 0:46:16.928
<v Speaker 2>and I often think that she will be the best

0:46:16.968 --> 0:46:19.328
<v Speaker 2>thing that comes out of him, because if she is

0:46:19.528 --> 0:46:23.488
<v Speaker 2>going to be like him, that'd be wonderful. But I'm

0:46:23.528 --> 0:46:27.928
<v Speaker 2>hoping that I can help guide her with any anything

0:46:28.008 --> 0:46:31.087
<v Speaker 2>that she struggles with that potentially he needed help with

0:46:31.128 --> 0:46:35.207
<v Speaker 2>when he was younger. I really miss the community where

0:46:35.208 --> 0:46:38.128
<v Speaker 2>we were. I think about it every day. One of

0:46:38.128 --> 0:46:40.848
<v Speaker 2>the saddest things is that I can't go back there.

0:46:41.408 --> 0:46:44.288
<v Speaker 2>I am really connected to that community and I really

0:46:44.568 --> 0:46:47.408
<v Speaker 2>miss it a lot. And maybe one day, maybe one day,

0:46:47.568 --> 0:46:49.688
<v Speaker 2>I will get to go back and pick up where

0:46:49.688 --> 0:46:51.848
<v Speaker 2>we left off because I really connected to the people

0:46:51.928 --> 0:46:54.047
<v Speaker 2>and the place. But yeah, I'm about three and a

0:46:54.048 --> 0:46:58.288
<v Speaker 2>half hours away in a very beautiful part of Australia.

0:46:59.568 --> 0:47:03.128
<v Speaker 2>We do lots of swimming and there's lots of rivers

0:47:03.448 --> 0:47:09.568
<v Speaker 2>and rainforest and nature. It's just a very women's centric

0:47:09.608 --> 0:47:13.688
<v Speaker 2>place as well. It's honors children, so it was just

0:47:13.808 --> 0:47:16.928
<v Speaker 2>the most perfect soft pillow of a place to come

0:47:16.928 --> 0:47:19.727
<v Speaker 2>and land. There's just been a lot of support, plenty

0:47:19.808 --> 0:47:22.528
<v Speaker 2>of single moms, just really beautiful place.

0:47:37.088 --> 0:47:40.248
<v Speaker 1>Everyone has an Eggs's a Minti Media production and proudly

0:47:40.328 --> 0:47:42.808
<v Speaker 1>part of the Mum and mea Network. This interview was

0:47:42.848 --> 0:47:46.208
<v Speaker 1>conducted and the episode narrated by me Georgia Love and

0:47:46.288 --> 0:47:48.848
<v Speaker 1>written and produced by Linda Scott. If you have a

0:47:48.848 --> 0:47:52.008
<v Speaker 1>story you'd like to share, email podcast at momamea dot

0:47:52.048 --> 0:47:54.768
<v Speaker 1>com dot au. You can support us by following the

0:47:54.808 --> 0:47:57.047
<v Speaker 1>show in your favorite podcast app and leaving us a

0:47:57.048 --> 0:48:01.368
<v Speaker 1>five star review. We'll see you for the next episode.