WEBVTT - The School Holiday Rule & The Big Bluey Stuff Up 0:00:04.840 --> 0:00:09.280 Parents, friends, committees. Welcome to Parenting out Loud, where we 0:00:09.320 --> 0:00:11.639 bring you the news, the trends, the culture and what 0:00:11.720 --> 0:00:14.920 parents are actually thinking about. And they're thinking about Mother's 0:00:15.000 --> 0:00:18.160 Day most likely, and we will get to that a 0:00:18.200 --> 0:00:21.919 little bit today. I'm Monic Bowley, I'm Amelia Lester, and 0:00:21.960 --> 0:00:24.560 I'm Stacy Hicks. Coming up on today's show. 0:00:24.720 --> 0:00:27.360 If you can't decide what's surname to give your child 0:00:27.440 --> 0:00:30.080 of Melbourne couples just outsourced it to a game and 0:00:30.120 --> 0:00:31.160 I kind of love it. 0:00:31.400 --> 0:00:36.640 The school holiday dilemma and the rule that has parents blindsided. 0:00:36.200 --> 0:00:38.960 And do you ever feel a bit sad on Mother's Day? 0:00:39.640 --> 0:00:42.960 There's a very surprising origin story which might explain why. 0:00:43.080 --> 0:00:47.280 But very first, before we get into anything, I spy 0:00:47.479 --> 0:00:54.760 with my little eye. Someone's mother is in our Instagram comments. 0:00:55.200 --> 0:00:59.080 Of course, of course it's mine. Wasn't that the most 0:00:59.080 --> 0:01:01.080 classic mum common you've ever seen? 0:01:01.160 --> 0:01:01.319 Two? 0:01:01.840 --> 0:01:05.119 Like, So we put this post up of like getting 0:01:05.160 --> 0:01:07.440 to know us three. It's pinned to the top of 0:01:07.480 --> 0:01:11.000 our Instagram page and it's just like, here's Stacy she likes. 0:01:11.120 --> 0:01:13.000 She's a type AI mum. This is what she likes. 0:01:13.440 --> 0:01:17.840 And the first comment was Stacy's mom just being like, oh, 0:01:17.880 --> 0:01:22.560 I love this. I was so good, great mummy, did. 0:01:22.360 --> 0:01:22.800 You see that? 0:01:22.880 --> 0:01:26.840 Lena Dunham posted the text that her mom sent her 0:01:27.480 --> 0:01:30.320 during the met gala. Went to the met gala on 0:01:30.720 --> 0:01:34.640 Monday night and her mom sent these texts saying. 0:01:34.680 --> 0:01:37.000 You look lovely, dear, but you need to do a 0:01:37.040 --> 0:01:38.360 little bit more smiling. 0:01:38.400 --> 0:01:40.319 You're so a precy when you smile. 0:01:42.040 --> 0:01:44.760 Well, good on, my mum. Ly for the for the 0:01:44.760 --> 0:01:47.000 blind enthusiasm about all of us. 0:01:47.000 --> 0:01:49.800 But look, in case you missed it, the devil Wes 0:01:49.840 --> 0:01:53.360 prior to is fine. The movie is fine. That's all 0:01:53.400 --> 0:01:57.320 I'm going to say about Okay, but they did make 0:01:57.440 --> 0:02:02.480 one really interesting choice relates to parenting, which is that 0:02:02.520 --> 0:02:05.840 Andy Sachs, played by Anne Halfaway, who is once again 0:02:05.880 --> 0:02:09.240 pursuing her magazine dreams twenty years after the first movie, 0:02:09.720 --> 0:02:12.400 she does not have children. Now, this should not be 0:02:12.480 --> 0:02:15.520 groundbreaking for a woman in her early forties to be 0:02:15.560 --> 0:02:18.600 depicted on screen without children, But. 0:02:19.040 --> 0:02:22.919 Nice pun there, Amelia, nice pun, nice heavy groundbreaking. 0:02:23.639 --> 0:02:26.600 It turns out that Anne Hathaway had a hand in this. 0:02:26.720 --> 0:02:30.680 The plot thickens. Here's Mama MEA's very own Laura Brodnick, 0:02:30.800 --> 0:02:32.600 interviewing her insult, was. 0:02:32.520 --> 0:02:34.560 There a particular request that you put in that you 0:02:34.600 --> 0:02:36.400 wanted for your characters in order to do this? 0:02:36.480 --> 0:02:36.840 Equel? 0:02:38.240 --> 0:02:40.360 I Mine was a big one. 0:02:40.600 --> 0:02:44.960 Oh, it was really big because Eleen Rush McKenna, who 0:02:44.960 --> 0:02:48.480 came up with this unbelievable story that we all signed 0:02:48.520 --> 0:02:52.120 up for, we all reacted to so positively. She had 0:02:52.160 --> 0:02:56.520 originated Andy's backstory as being different. She thought that Andy 0:02:56.560 --> 0:02:58.919 had stayed in New York and had a family, and 0:02:59.000 --> 0:03:00.840 I thought that Andy had gone out in the world 0:03:00.840 --> 0:03:03.600 and had adventures and had you actually done that yet? 0:03:03.880 --> 0:03:06.160 And we had a long conversation about it, and she 0:03:06.639 --> 0:03:08.240 went off and side of that, and she decided that 0:03:08.360 --> 0:03:10.560 she was also interested in Andy having had adventures and 0:03:10.639 --> 0:03:13.079 having not taken that step in her life yet. 0:03:13.480 --> 0:03:17.320 Okay, So what she's saying is the writer wrote her 0:03:17.400 --> 0:03:20.160 as having children, and Anne Hathaways said, no, I'm going 0:03:20.200 --> 0:03:23.240 to be childless by choice. That's that's wild. 0:03:23.639 --> 0:03:24.040 Yeah. 0:03:24.120 --> 0:03:25.720 So did this occur to you while you were watching? 0:03:25.760 --> 0:03:25.959 Yeah? 0:03:26.040 --> 0:03:27.000 Yeah, I loved it. 0:03:27.080 --> 0:03:29.080 I loved when we got to her And it wasn't 0:03:29.080 --> 0:03:32.880 that classic trope of like messy haired woman like flinging 0:03:32.880 --> 0:03:34.880 bananas at her kids as she runs out the door 0:03:34.880 --> 0:03:36.880 to her big job. You know, like we see that, 0:03:37.240 --> 0:03:39.520 we see that so much, and I really loved that 0:03:39.560 --> 0:03:42.120 it was just no, that's not what she's doing. And 0:03:42.120 --> 0:03:43.960 I feel like it's much more of a reflection of 0:03:43.960 --> 0:03:45.960 what you see now. We see women where they say 0:03:46.160 --> 0:03:48.800 it might happen, it might not, or I might want to, 0:03:48.960 --> 0:03:52.080 I might not at that time of their life. And 0:03:52.120 --> 0:03:53.920 so I love that we kind of saw both streams. 0:03:53.920 --> 0:03:57.120 We see one character who's had children and is, you know, 0:03:57.240 --> 0:03:59.400 juggling that busy job, and one that didn't. And it's 0:03:59.440 --> 0:04:01.120 not a major plot point that she didn't. 0:04:01.240 --> 0:04:02.760 Yes, it's very matter of fact. 0:04:02.800 --> 0:04:04.960 In fact, there's one scene where she's catching up with 0:04:05.000 --> 0:04:08.560 Emily Blunt's character, her former colleague, and she says, I'm 0:04:08.600 --> 0:04:11.480 not married, never found the right person. And my kids 0:04:11.480 --> 0:04:13.839 are at a doctor's office on eighty fifth Street. They're 0:04:13.880 --> 0:04:16.120 frozen eggs right now, but I like to think of 0:04:16.160 --> 0:04:19.080 them as my little ones, Shavn and Esther. Yeah, and 0:04:19.120 --> 0:04:21.239 I love that it was so matter of fact. Mon's 0:04:21.240 --> 0:04:24.520 I don't think you've seen the movie yet, but why 0:04:24.760 --> 0:04:27.000 do we have to be celebrating this like such a 0:04:27.080 --> 0:04:29.240 rare occurrence. Why is it still so rare? 0:04:29.279 --> 0:04:29.839 Do you think. 0:04:30.720 --> 0:04:34.640 Hollywood loves the whole working mum trope? Don't they the 0:04:36.040 --> 0:04:39.720 you can have it all trope? So it's kind of 0:04:39.760 --> 0:04:43.040 forward thinking, I guess, more reflective for what's really happening. 0:04:43.600 --> 0:04:46.400 It's kind of disappointing though, that they didn't go the 0:04:46.480 --> 0:04:48.520 full way with it. Do you think they put the 0:04:48.520 --> 0:04:51.640 frozen egg scene in there, just like I don't know, 0:04:51.680 --> 0:04:54.520 in case there's a Devil west Prata three where she 0:04:54.720 --> 0:04:55.520 is the harry mother. 0:04:56.120 --> 0:04:58.960 Maybe, although I think the reason they put the frozen 0:04:58.960 --> 0:05:02.599 eggs scene in is because that's very true to life 0:05:02.640 --> 0:05:07.560 for that particular millieure of kind of women who have 0:05:07.680 --> 0:05:11.080 done very well in their careers did not consciously choose 0:05:11.160 --> 0:05:13.800 career over children. And I'm so so glad by the 0:05:13.800 --> 0:05:16.320 way that we're doing away with that narrative too, because 0:05:16.720 --> 0:05:20.240 I don't think I know any woman who would actually 0:05:20.320 --> 0:05:23.760 say I chose my career over having a family, or 0:05:23.800 --> 0:05:26.040 I chose my family over having a career. That's not 0:05:26.080 --> 0:05:28.640 how life works. You don't choose things in that way. 0:05:29.080 --> 0:05:31.560 So I love that it seems more like life just 0:05:31.600 --> 0:05:34.479 happened to her and the way her life happened is 0:05:34.520 --> 0:05:36.280 that she had all these adventures. 0:05:36.440 --> 0:05:38.839 Yeah, it was not a woe is me. It was just, yeah, 0:05:38.960 --> 0:05:41.800 that's the situation for me right now, and we move on. 0:05:41.920 --> 0:05:44.080 And I just wanted to focus on all the dresses 0:05:44.080 --> 0:05:46.840 and I got to do that, which was great. Another 0:05:46.920 --> 0:05:49.160 thing that you might have missed this week was a 0:05:49.279 --> 0:05:52.279 video that went pretty viral about one of our favorite 0:05:52.320 --> 0:05:55.000 topics on this show, BLUEI. I mean, mostly we've spoken 0:05:55.120 --> 0:05:57.240 about Blue's hot dad. This is a little bit of 0:05:57.240 --> 0:06:01.640 a different take. Obviously, it's not being hyperbolic to say 0:06:01.640 --> 0:06:03.640 that Blue's the biggest show in the world, like it's 0:06:03.680 --> 0:06:08.040 in one hundred and ten countries, watched by millions and 0:06:08.080 --> 0:06:12.599 millions of kids and mostly their parents probably around the world. 0:06:12.640 --> 0:06:15.800 So it would be safe to assume that Blue is 0:06:15.839 --> 0:06:17.920 a bit of a cash cow or a cash dog 0:06:17.960 --> 0:06:19.680 as it were for the ABC. 0:06:20.000 --> 0:06:21.200 Did you just come up with cash? 0:06:21.400 --> 0:06:21.880 I did. 0:06:23.520 --> 0:06:27.200 Sorry, I'll see myself out. But this video that got 0:06:27.200 --> 0:06:30.200 published by Charlie Gearside. He's the co founder of a 0:06:30.240 --> 0:06:33.520 tech startup called Eucalyptus, and he was talking about the 0:06:33.520 --> 0:06:35.880 deal that the ABC did at the time with Joe 0:06:35.920 --> 0:06:39.120 Bram when they commissioned this show, and he called it, 0:06:39.200 --> 0:06:42.400 and I quote, one of the all time shittest deals 0:06:42.400 --> 0:06:46.880 in history, which is not very complimentary. So basically what 0:06:46.960 --> 0:06:49.240 happened is when ABC commissioned the show, they did it 0:06:49.279 --> 0:06:52.920 in conjunction with the BBC, so the UK's public broadcaster, 0:06:53.560 --> 0:06:56.440 and as part of that deal, BBC paid thirty percent 0:06:56.480 --> 0:06:58.960 of the production costs. But in that deal they got 0:06:58.960 --> 0:07:02.479 all the global rights, all of the merchandising rights to 0:07:02.560 --> 0:07:05.960 Blue E and that is now worth an estimated one 0:07:06.200 --> 0:07:09.520 billion to two point five billion dollars a year. 0:07:09.760 --> 0:07:12.600 I think we have about seven hundred and fifty million 0:07:12.640 --> 0:07:15.600 dollars worth of blue merchandise in our apartment. 0:07:15.160 --> 0:07:18.160 As do I, including a drawer full of bluey toothbrushes 0:07:18.200 --> 0:07:20.440 for reasons unclear to me, there must have been a 0:07:20.480 --> 0:07:22.560 deal at some point where I bought about twenty of them. 0:07:23.040 --> 0:07:26.280 And basically the headline that everyone saw from this story 0:07:26.520 --> 0:07:29.520 is the ABC stuffed up. This would have been a 0:07:29.520 --> 0:07:32.080 great amount of money to bring into the Australian television 0:07:32.120 --> 0:07:35.320 industry and you know what an embarrassment that is, to 0:07:35.360 --> 0:07:38.640 the point where the ABC Managing director, Hugh Marx even 0:07:38.760 --> 0:07:41.040 spoke at a conference this week and he kind of 0:07:41.160 --> 0:07:43.760 addressed it and said, yeah, like, in hindsight, that would 0:07:43.760 --> 0:07:45.720 have been great. It would have changed a lot of 0:07:45.760 --> 0:07:49.320 people's lives. So is the ABC getting anything from. 0:07:49.160 --> 0:07:50.800 The fact that Bluey is the world's most. 0:07:50.640 --> 0:07:53.360 Probably yeah, they get the Australian rights to the show, 0:07:53.440 --> 0:07:55.480 but most of that is going overseas. 0:07:55.520 --> 0:07:57.440 But Mon's when I brought this up with you. 0:07:57.440 --> 0:07:59.000 You had a lot of big feelings and there is 0:07:59.000 --> 0:08:00.480 a lot of this story that Peple are kind of 0:08:00.560 --> 0:08:01.720 missing with the headline. 0:08:02.480 --> 0:08:04.120 So this is not a new story, and every time 0:08:04.160 --> 0:08:06.040 I hear it, I think, oh, there's a lot of 0:08:06.360 --> 0:08:10.720 nuance and complication that's being missed here. And I want 0:08:11.200 --> 0:08:13.080 just the idea that the ABC botched a deal that 0:08:13.160 --> 0:08:16.120 was worth billions is a little bit like saying, oh, 0:08:16.160 --> 0:08:18.280 you should have bought Apple shares in the eighties. Like 0:08:18.360 --> 0:08:21.840 it's technically true, but it just doesn't take into account 0:08:22.800 --> 0:08:25.080 how most TV gets made. I want to say, I 0:08:25.120 --> 0:08:27.760 do need to say I don't have visibility on this 0:08:27.840 --> 0:08:29.800 particular deal. What I'm going to say is like broad 0:08:29.800 --> 0:08:32.720 sweeping statements. Okay, because you worked at the ABC, right mans, 0:08:33.200 --> 0:08:35.320 I worked there for a long time. I worked there 0:08:35.320 --> 0:08:39.600 in peak Bluey mania, co commissions happen all the time, right, 0:08:39.640 --> 0:08:42.000 It's really normal for someone to make your TV show 0:08:42.040 --> 0:08:45.920 and share the costs around because rights are really expensive 0:08:46.000 --> 0:08:48.520 and no single person wants to like hold all the right. 0:08:48.559 --> 0:08:50.560 It just costs too much and takes too much risk 0:08:50.600 --> 0:08:53.559 on right. And the ABC is a public broadcaster, it's 0:08:53.600 --> 0:08:55.920 not really there to make like huge commercial bets. Do 0:08:55.920 --> 0:08:58.520 you remember when we had ABC shops, when we did 0:08:58.559 --> 0:09:01.160 do merchandise, when we did do kind of like bananas 0:09:01.160 --> 0:09:03.920 and pajama stuff, that all got shut down. So the 0:09:03.960 --> 0:09:07.040 ABC are probably not set up now to do these 0:09:07.160 --> 0:09:11.280 huge global distribution deals and merchandising deals, whereas the BBC are. 0:09:11.440 --> 0:09:13.560 The BBC have Top Here, they have Pepper Pig, they 0:09:13.640 --> 0:09:16.320 have all these shows that they just know. The BBC 0:09:16.440 --> 0:09:18.760 machine knows how to push this stuff out. 0:09:19.000 --> 0:09:21.120 And also what you're saying is that that's not even 0:09:21.160 --> 0:09:24.880 the ABC's mandate, right. It's mandate is not to make 0:09:24.920 --> 0:09:28.040 a lot of money from merchandise. It's mandate is to 0:09:28.360 --> 0:09:34.760 provide Australians with Australian content, quality Australian content. And Louis 0:09:34.840 --> 0:09:35.719 Is certainly. 0:09:35.360 --> 0:09:38.200 That they do have a commercial arm, but it's small 0:09:38.280 --> 0:09:41.760 and it's kind of not their their central focus. I 0:09:41.880 --> 0:09:44.160 just feel like, you know, you could argue part of 0:09:44.200 --> 0:09:47.400 the success of Blue globally is because the BBC did 0:09:47.440 --> 0:09:49.960 exactly what they were brought on to do. They got 0:09:50.000 --> 0:09:52.840 to push it everywhere. Merchandise is shit out of it, 0:09:53.559 --> 0:09:56.400 and so it's kind of like the system is imperfect, 0:09:56.400 --> 0:09:57.040 but it worked. 0:09:57.280 --> 0:09:59.360 Yeah, and as much as we can say, you know, 0:09:59.400 --> 0:10:01.880 it is such a shame, of course, in hindsight that 0:10:01.880 --> 0:10:04.440 that money doesn't come into Australia and give those jobs 0:10:04.480 --> 0:10:06.760 people in Australian TV. Like, it's also a shame I 0:10:06.760 --> 0:10:09.400 didn't get the Lotto numbers last week. Like it's fine sight, 0:10:09.559 --> 0:10:13.080 as you said, it's something that you realize after the fact, 0:10:13.120 --> 0:10:15.200 and the fact that they did this with minimal risk 0:10:15.280 --> 0:10:17.440 and we do have a show that Australia is so 0:10:17.480 --> 0:10:20.839 proud of that is kind of ours regardless of that 0:10:21.040 --> 0:10:21.640 is a great thing. 0:10:21.720 --> 0:10:23.319 Don't cry that it's over smart. 0:10:23.200 --> 0:10:27.280 Well, so, yeah, the money does come into Australia, right, 0:10:27.360 --> 0:10:29.520 some of it does. We talked previously on a few 0:10:29.600 --> 0:10:32.760 episodes ago about this state of Australian TV. This is 0:10:32.800 --> 0:10:35.600 the great blue hope of Australian TV is Bluey because 0:10:35.600 --> 0:10:38.480 this is a Brisbane made production. It's hiring production stuff, 0:10:38.480 --> 0:10:41.360 it's hiring animators, it's all of that stuff. All of 0:10:41.400 --> 0:10:44.160 that money is coming into Australia. Can I tell you 0:10:44.160 --> 0:10:46.920 both something about Mother's Day that will completely change how 0:10:46.960 --> 0:10:47.559 you think about it? 0:10:47.679 --> 0:10:48.000 Yes? 0:10:48.120 --> 0:10:48.560 Please? 0:10:49.720 --> 0:10:50.280 Here's the thing. 0:10:50.320 --> 0:10:53.360 I know this weekend there'll be lots of cups of 0:10:53.400 --> 0:10:57.320 tea in bed and cards and maybe flowers and hugs. 0:10:57.360 --> 0:11:00.680 And there's always that pressure to perform Mother's Day on 0:11:00.720 --> 0:11:04.960 social media, which I hate, but that's not everyone. And 0:11:05.000 --> 0:11:06.880 I feel like whenever Mother's Day comes up, it can 0:11:06.920 --> 0:11:09.800 feel really fraught because not everyone has that kind of 0:11:09.800 --> 0:11:12.880 like hallmark relationship with their mum or their own children, 0:11:12.960 --> 0:11:16.200 and it's not always a joyful day for people. Sometimes 0:11:16.200 --> 0:11:19.320 it's quite a loaded one, which is exactly why I 0:11:19.360 --> 0:11:21.200 wanted to bring you something that I found this week, 0:11:21.240 --> 0:11:23.439 because it turns out that Mother's Day didn't start as 0:11:23.480 --> 0:11:26.560 this wholesome celebration at all. It actually started as a 0:11:26.600 --> 0:11:30.640 campaign for the women that everyone had forgotten. 0:11:31.240 --> 0:11:34.560 Oh see, that's nice. This is what it is still is. 0:11:34.720 --> 0:11:36.880 I just assumed it was a hallmark thing like yeah 0:11:36.920 --> 0:11:38.040 back and made up Poliday. 0:11:38.160 --> 0:11:40.079 Yeah, you're telling me it actually has a history. 0:11:41.200 --> 0:11:44.040 Yeah, it does. The history is amazing, So very quick 0:11:44.120 --> 0:11:47.160 history lesson. It started in the US after the Civil War. 0:11:47.200 --> 0:11:50.120 There was this really big wave of women who had 0:11:50.200 --> 0:11:54.840 lost sons, husbands, and brothers at war. So all the 0:11:54.880 --> 0:11:57.720 women and mothers came together for this day of peace. 0:11:58.440 --> 0:12:00.800 And then in the early nineteen hundred a woman named 0:12:00.800 --> 0:12:05.400 Anna Jarvis. Her mother, Anne Jarvis was you know, with 0:12:05.640 --> 0:12:08.400 woman who would just get women together, support mothers in 0:12:08.440 --> 0:12:12.800 her community, support grieving mothers. Anyway, this Anne Jervis, she 0:12:12.960 --> 0:12:16.920 died and so Anna lobbied really hard and said, I 0:12:16.960 --> 0:12:20.080 think we should have a day to honor my mother 0:12:20.160 --> 0:12:24.200 and honor all these women. And her mother died on 0:12:24.240 --> 0:12:26.520 the second Sunday in May, and so she lobbied really 0:12:26.559 --> 0:12:28.320 hard and took it all the way to the White House, 0:12:28.360 --> 0:12:31.080 and the President said, you know what, great, let's do it. 0:12:31.160 --> 0:12:33.520 Let's make it official. So the second Sunday in May 0:12:33.600 --> 0:12:35.040 is going to be Mother's Day. And so that's the 0:12:35.120 --> 0:12:38.120 version that spread locally. But here's the part that most 0:12:38.200 --> 0:12:41.839 Australians don't know. Mother's Day in Australia wasn't started by 0:12:41.840 --> 0:12:44.240 a brand. It was started by a woman who walked 0:12:44.280 --> 0:12:48.160 into a hospital and saw something that completely broke her heart. 0:12:48.600 --> 0:12:50.600 Her name was Janet Hayden, and she was visiting a 0:12:50.600 --> 0:12:53.720 friend at the Newington State Hospital and she noticed something 0:12:54.480 --> 0:12:57.440 that was really shocking to her. There were elderly women 0:12:57.880 --> 0:13:02.199 and mothers who had been completely forgotten, and a lot 0:13:02.240 --> 0:13:05.000 of them had lost family in World War One. Some 0:13:05.120 --> 0:13:08.480 had no family left at all, some had never been 0:13:08.520 --> 0:13:12.920 able to have families. These were just invisible women. And 0:13:12.960 --> 0:13:16.520 she thought, who is making these women feel like they matter? 0:13:16.720 --> 0:13:20.040 So she got together local businesses and the public and 0:13:20.080 --> 0:13:22.679 she said, could you just donate something nice for these women, 0:13:22.800 --> 0:13:25.320 just like a soap or a toal conpowder or some fruit. 0:13:25.720 --> 0:13:28.120 And then she went to primary schools and asked the 0:13:28.200 --> 0:13:32.720 kids to sew little linen bags, little handmade parcels, the 0:13:32.760 --> 0:13:37.800 original analog bag, and then she just delivered them to 0:13:37.840 --> 0:13:41.560 these women who had been forgotten. So it didn't start 0:13:41.800 --> 0:13:45.160 Mother's Day, didn't begin with flowers and brunches and slippers 0:13:45.200 --> 0:13:49.880 and declarations of love. It began as this small act 0:13:50.080 --> 0:13:54.000 of community for the most invisible, most forgotten women. 0:13:54.240 --> 0:13:56.400 And I think that that key word you use there 0:13:56.440 --> 0:14:01.000 as community, because mothers say put so much much pressure 0:14:01.280 --> 0:14:05.000 on the nuclear family unit to celebrate it in the 0:14:05.120 --> 0:14:10.920 correct way. But what it started as was a community 0:14:10.960 --> 0:14:16.760 wide celebration and acknowledgment of the labor of women who 0:14:17.040 --> 0:14:19.840 were looking after children, and I feel like that's being 0:14:19.880 --> 0:14:20.840 completely missed. 0:14:21.040 --> 0:14:23.560 Yeah, And I think what you said about the nuclear family, 0:14:23.640 --> 0:14:27.040 that's the part that does feel like pressure, because especially 0:14:27.160 --> 0:14:30.160 when you're someone who has their mother but you also 0:14:30.240 --> 0:14:34.080 have children yourself, You've got the pressure of your nuclear 0:14:34.120 --> 0:14:37.120 family of the children that you have, like will that 0:14:37.200 --> 0:14:39.400 live up to your expectations of what you're imagining in 0:14:39.440 --> 0:14:41.440 your head for that day, But you also have your 0:14:41.440 --> 0:14:43.440 own mother who's then wanting you to. 0:14:43.400 --> 0:14:43.960 Be with them. 0:14:44.200 --> 0:14:46.360 Potentially you have a mother in law, so then you're 0:14:46.360 --> 0:14:48.680 trying to do something there. So it actually becomes this 0:14:48.760 --> 0:14:51.440 day of like splitting yourself amongst people, and it's kind 0:14:51.480 --> 0:14:53.960 of like your birthday in that you feel a bit 0:14:54.000 --> 0:14:56.560 melancholy and a bit sad, and you don't quite know why, 0:14:56.720 --> 0:14:59.240 like people are expressing their love for you, but yet 0:14:59.280 --> 0:15:00.800 it doesn't feel right. 0:15:01.240 --> 0:15:03.320 And the other thing that I've been noticing this year 0:15:03.480 --> 0:15:07.760 is that in my kids' school and in their sporting activities, 0:15:08.440 --> 0:15:12.200 it's inevitably women who are the volunteers organizing stuff in 0:15:12.240 --> 0:15:16.480 both these cases, and they have been sending out notes saying, Okay, 0:15:16.480 --> 0:15:19.920 we've got this Mother's Day event. Mothers, please don't sign 0:15:20.000 --> 0:15:22.920 up to volunteer. We actually need people who are not 0:15:23.080 --> 0:15:26.080 mothers to volunteer for the Mother's Day stall. But it's 0:15:26.120 --> 0:15:29.200 really hard to find volunteers because guests who does most 0:15:29.200 --> 0:15:33.160 of the volunteering in a school community, it's the mom's Yeah. 0:15:33.840 --> 0:15:37.080 I like this redirection, like I love this redirection of 0:15:37.080 --> 0:15:39.200 that this is how it started, because it does kind 0:15:39.200 --> 0:15:42.200 of give you permission mentally to lower the bar. 0:15:42.120 --> 0:15:43.240 A bit on the day. 0:15:43.560 --> 0:15:46.040 Like it's like with any big day like that, with 0:15:46.440 --> 0:15:48.280 a Christmas or with a big holiday, you have a 0:15:48.400 --> 0:15:50.360 version of how you think it might be and a 0:15:50.440 --> 0:15:52.720 version of what it ends up being, and often they 0:15:52.760 --> 0:15:53.680 don't align. 0:15:53.960 --> 0:15:58.080 Mons does it change how you think about celebrating this day? 0:15:58.160 --> 0:16:00.440 To know this history does. 0:16:00.480 --> 0:16:03.120 And the other tidbit I loved was that the woman 0:16:03.160 --> 0:16:05.120 that started it in the US, remember the woman that 0:16:05.160 --> 0:16:09.880 lobbied the president for it, Anna Jarvis. She saw what 0:16:09.960 --> 0:16:13.000 it became, she saw the hallmarkification of it, and it 0:16:13.160 --> 0:16:15.200 drove her mad, and she spent the rest of her 0:16:15.240 --> 0:16:19.280 life lobbying trying to stop Mother's Day Oh, because she 0:16:19.320 --> 0:16:22.600 didn't like Yeah, because it had gone so far away 0:16:22.640 --> 0:16:25.640 from what she wanted it to be. And I just thought, 0:16:25.760 --> 0:16:28.800 that's fascinating and I get that. I get that. 0:16:29.040 --> 0:16:31.240 Yeah, the real message from you telling that story is 0:16:31.280 --> 0:16:33.120 that I just want to rock up at a nursing. 0:16:32.800 --> 0:16:34.680 Home now and go and have a time with someone 0:16:34.680 --> 0:16:35.360 who's alone. 0:16:35.960 --> 0:16:37.120 Yes, they'd love it. 0:16:39.080 --> 0:16:41.120 Stacy. One of the joys of this show. One of 0:16:41.160 --> 0:16:43.840 your roles on this show is to bring us the 0:16:43.840 --> 0:16:46.200 trends of the Internet, the things you've seen on TikTok, 0:16:46.320 --> 0:16:48.360 what families are doing, what parents are doing. What have 0:16:48.400 --> 0:16:49.040 you found this week? 0:16:49.160 --> 0:16:52.040 Yes, I saw this video this week that made me 0:16:52.160 --> 0:16:56.680 chuckle so much because a Melbourne couple decided that instead 0:16:56.680 --> 0:17:00.160 of choosing their babies last name. You know, they're very 0:17:01.080 --> 0:17:02.920 forward thinking and they're like, well, it's not a given 0:17:02.960 --> 0:17:05.200 that it's going to be the husband's last name. They 0:17:05.280 --> 0:17:08.679 made their two families, their two extended families, battle it 0:17:08.720 --> 0:17:12.440 out in a series of games to decide which last 0:17:12.520 --> 0:17:13.679 name the baby would get. 0:17:13.800 --> 0:17:15.040 Take a listen to this clip. 0:17:15.240 --> 0:17:20.040 Welcome to the first and last ever Shiffiley verse Fleming 0:17:20.320 --> 0:17:25.240 Family Olympics, where we will be competing for one grand prize. 0:17:25.640 --> 0:17:30.480 The winning family will determine the name of our future children. 0:17:32.480 --> 0:17:35.600 Fleming's win, the children will take Fleming. If the Shiffiles win, 0:17:35.800 --> 0:17:37.200 the children will take Shiffley. 0:17:38.720 --> 0:17:42.760 It's so, what what? And what is a family Olympics? 0:17:42.840 --> 0:17:43.040 Yes? 0:17:43.119 --> 0:17:43.760 What game? 0:17:43.920 --> 0:17:48.280 They did a planking competition. They did a human wheelbarrow race, 0:17:48.320 --> 0:17:50.000 you know when you like hold the person's ankles. 0:17:50.359 --> 0:17:53.520 They did an easter egg hunt. 0:17:53.720 --> 0:17:55.960 Must have been done around Easter time and they've only 0:17:56.000 --> 0:17:58.280 just shared it now. They did so many tasks and 0:17:58.320 --> 0:18:00.720 then at the end they're like, it's neck and neck. 0:18:00.800 --> 0:18:04.000 So we're going to a round robin of rock paper scissors. 0:18:04.040 --> 0:18:06.080 So who won the Schiffie One? 0:18:07.119 --> 0:18:08.120 Is the wife's name? 0:18:08.560 --> 0:18:12.879 The wife's last names, Cheffiley's bragging rights, my favorite sh 0:18:13.240 --> 0:18:13.720 my favorite. 0:18:13.760 --> 0:18:15.200 I'm going to be spelling that for the rest of 0:18:15.240 --> 0:18:15.840 their lives. 0:18:15.640 --> 0:18:16.399 They really are. 0:18:16.440 --> 0:18:19.040 They should have gone with Fleming. But my favorite thing 0:18:19.040 --> 0:18:21.760 in the comments was someone saying, I love that when 0:18:21.920 --> 0:18:24.680 someone asks this kid why they've got their mum's last name, 0:18:24.680 --> 0:18:27.320 they'll be able to say, oh, because dad chose scissors. 0:18:27.359 --> 0:18:30.399 Like that he lost him the rock paper scissors. 0:18:29.920 --> 0:18:32.320 But I just thought that was pay And I love that. 0:18:32.320 --> 0:18:32.760 That's cool. 0:18:32.840 --> 0:18:34.560 We don't just take the last name as a given. 0:18:34.600 --> 0:18:36.200 Now it's not that important anymore. 0:18:36.440 --> 0:18:40.080 And it's also taking it to the next level beyond hyphenation. Yes, 0:18:40.359 --> 0:18:43.440 now it's like you've got to earn that last time. Yeah, Yeah, 0:18:43.520 --> 0:18:44.639 absolutely love it. 0:18:45.040 --> 0:18:47.760 That is so ballsy to do something like that. That's 0:18:47.800 --> 0:18:50.040 the kind of thing you do that becomes the family 0:18:50.160 --> 0:18:51.680 story for the next one hundred years. 0:18:52.080 --> 0:18:52.560 That is cool. 0:18:53.560 --> 0:18:57.000 When my kids started at big school, I was at 0:18:57.000 --> 0:19:00.320 the same time planning a visit to see if family 0:19:00.359 --> 0:19:04.120 and friends in the US over the winter holidays, because 0:19:04.119 --> 0:19:07.840 that's where my partner is from. And I happened to 0:19:07.920 --> 0:19:10.320 mention this trip was coming up to another mom at 0:19:10.320 --> 0:19:14.320 the school, and what she said shocked me. She said, 0:19:14.359 --> 0:19:15.879