1 00:00:10,622 --> 00:00:13,341 Speaker 1: You're listening to a MoMA Mia podcast. 2 00:00:13,822 --> 00:00:17,182 Speaker 2: Mamma Mia acknowledges the traditional owners of land and waters 3 00:00:17,222 --> 00:00:18,741 Speaker 2: that this podcast is recorded on. 4 00:00:22,381 --> 00:00:24,421 Speaker 1: It's a bit like sex as well, like sometimes you 5 00:00:24,502 --> 00:00:26,142 Speaker 1: just don't feel like it, like the thought of it. 6 00:00:26,142 --> 00:00:28,342 Speaker 1: You're like, I don't know, I'd hate that. Oh no, 7 00:00:28,382 --> 00:00:32,461 Speaker 1: i'd hate that, you think to yourself. But then you 8 00:00:32,702 --> 00:00:33,502 Speaker 1: have a great time. 9 00:00:38,302 --> 00:00:40,982 Speaker 2: Hello and welcome to Mom and Mia out loud. It's 10 00:00:41,022 --> 00:00:43,822 Speaker 2: what women are actually talking about on Monday, the twenty 11 00:00:43,822 --> 00:00:45,862 Speaker 2: fourth of February. I'm Holly way. 12 00:00:45,862 --> 00:00:48,502 Speaker 1: Right, and I am back bitch is I'm meya f. 13 00:00:50,022 --> 00:00:51,062 Speaker 3: And I'm Jessees. 14 00:00:51,542 --> 00:00:54,742 Speaker 2: They're being cool if you're not watching Severance. Yeah, it's 15 00:00:54,782 --> 00:00:55,662 Speaker 2: a Severance reference. 16 00:00:55,742 --> 00:00:58,342 Speaker 3: Yeah, correct, my friends exactly because we're at work, so 17 00:00:58,422 --> 00:01:01,822 Speaker 3: we are yes, yef and your Holly is your hollyw W. 18 00:01:02,062 --> 00:01:03,862 Speaker 3: And we've decided that actually talking about how much we 19 00:01:03,902 --> 00:01:05,942 Speaker 3: love Severance is just trying to tell people how smummy this. 20 00:01:06,062 --> 00:01:08,182 Speaker 2: It's definitely a flex and if you do love Severance, 21 00:01:08,222 --> 00:01:10,902 Speaker 2: we may be recording a subscript episode about it very soon. 22 00:01:11,222 --> 00:01:15,702 Speaker 2: But on today's show, the person we're not talking about 23 00:01:15,822 --> 00:01:19,462 Speaker 2: in the story of the parenting influencer who went to jail. Also, 24 00:01:19,662 --> 00:01:22,422 Speaker 2: everyone's lonely, but no one wants to make plans. Why 25 00:01:22,462 --> 00:01:24,702 Speaker 2: we're in the year of the Flake, unless you're mere Friedman, 26 00:01:24,822 --> 00:01:27,342 Speaker 2: who has mastered the pre flake, and I have some 27 00:01:27,382 --> 00:01:31,102 Speaker 2: feedback for you about that. Also why we're all falling 28 00:01:31,102 --> 00:01:33,702 Speaker 2: over ourselves to book into the White Lotus, even though 29 00:01:33,822 --> 00:01:36,142 Speaker 2: the stuff might try and kill us there, But first 30 00:01:36,302 --> 00:01:36,942 Speaker 2: mea Friedman. 31 00:01:37,422 --> 00:01:39,782 Speaker 1: In case you missed it, it's rough out there in 32 00:01:39,822 --> 00:01:42,462 Speaker 1: the news cycle, which is probably why a post about 33 00:01:42,502 --> 00:01:46,622 Speaker 1: whimsy went viral over the weekend. Whimsy is not a 34 00:01:46,622 --> 00:01:50,142 Speaker 1: word that you hear very often, and I couldn't refine 35 00:01:50,142 --> 00:01:52,302 Speaker 1: it myself, so I looked up the definition. It's like 36 00:01:52,342 --> 00:01:56,582 Speaker 1: a playful, fanciful quality, full of odd or unpredictable ideas 37 00:01:56,582 --> 00:01:59,862 Speaker 1: that brings lighthearted humor and makes ordinary things feel a 38 00:01:59,862 --> 00:02:04,062 Speaker 1: bit magical and joyful. So someone asked women in a 39 00:02:04,142 --> 00:02:07,542 Speaker 1: video on TikTok what their whimsical little habits are, and 40 00:02:07,582 --> 00:02:10,181 Speaker 1: the internet responded in a way that felt a little 41 00:02:10,181 --> 00:02:13,702 Speaker 1: bit like a magical hug. Some of the answers included 42 00:02:13,901 --> 00:02:16,702 Speaker 1: when my cat clearly wants something and meows at me, 43 00:02:16,862 --> 00:02:18,462 Speaker 1: I tell her to use your words. 44 00:02:19,542 --> 00:02:20,542 Speaker 3: I often say that's shell. 45 00:02:21,262 --> 00:02:22,222 Speaker 2: Yeah, very cute. 46 00:02:22,622 --> 00:02:25,501 Speaker 1: For my own amusement, I say officers and nod. When 47 00:02:25,502 --> 00:02:29,022 Speaker 1: I see pigeons, I say, may I take your coat 48 00:02:29,062 --> 00:02:31,982 Speaker 1: while peeling garlic. I didn't understand that because I don't 49 00:02:32,022 --> 00:02:33,062 Speaker 1: peel garlic very often. 50 00:02:33,342 --> 00:02:35,742 Speaker 2: The garlic's wearing little coats. Okay, paper coats. 51 00:02:36,942 --> 00:02:39,982 Speaker 1: I call my to do list, my tadar list, and 52 00:02:40,062 --> 00:02:43,102 Speaker 1: do jazz hands as I tick things off. That's cute. 53 00:02:43,102 --> 00:02:43,782 Speaker 2: I like that. 54 00:02:44,262 --> 00:02:46,382 Speaker 1: I kiss my cat on both cheeks, then she kisses 55 00:02:46,422 --> 00:02:49,502 Speaker 1: me on both cheeks. Then I explained she's European to 56 00:02:49,622 --> 00:02:53,782 Speaker 1: no one. So can you think of many examples of whimsy? 57 00:02:54,142 --> 00:02:56,382 Speaker 2: I think everybody does it with their pets, right, Pets 58 00:02:56,382 --> 00:02:57,942 Speaker 2: bring out the wims in you. We all have a 59 00:02:58,022 --> 00:03:00,542 Speaker 2: voice for a dog. I assume I do for a 60 00:03:00,662 --> 00:03:02,702 Speaker 2: very specific voice. But you know what, I was trying 61 00:03:02,742 --> 00:03:05,262 Speaker 2: to do the voice before in the toilet, like I 62 00:03:05,422 --> 00:03:08,341 Speaker 2: was warming up, and I was like, let's do the voice. 63 00:03:08,502 --> 00:03:09,982 Speaker 2: I cannot do it unless she's there. 64 00:03:10,862 --> 00:03:12,982 Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, you can't conjure it. 65 00:03:14,622 --> 00:03:15,422 Speaker 2: Cute little face. 66 00:03:15,622 --> 00:03:17,382 Speaker 3: Yes, I know what you mean. Clara and I have 67 00:03:17,502 --> 00:03:22,142 Speaker 3: exclusively spoken through the girls, babies and I've realized, you know, 68 00:03:22,181 --> 00:03:24,262 Speaker 3: when you look at your your whimsical thing and you go, 69 00:03:24,822 --> 00:03:27,822 Speaker 3: might actually not be that pc because Matilda speaks with 70 00:03:27,862 --> 00:03:30,302 Speaker 3: an accent. I'm not going to say what accent, but 71 00:03:30,582 --> 00:03:35,222 Speaker 3: she actually doesn't speak English English second it's her second language, 72 00:03:35,222 --> 00:03:37,222 Speaker 3: because she doesn't yet, no, she doesn't. She babbles and 73 00:03:37,222 --> 00:03:39,582 Speaker 3: we go, well, yes, that is her language. And so 74 00:03:39,662 --> 00:03:42,742 Speaker 3: we often text from the girls to one another. Clara 75 00:03:42,782 --> 00:03:44,902 Speaker 3: and I haven't had a conversation in nearly two years. 76 00:03:45,982 --> 00:03:47,582 Speaker 3: And the other thing, I imagine. 77 00:03:47,262 --> 00:03:49,782 Speaker 1: The twins life is full of whimsy. Yes, yeah, it 78 00:03:49,862 --> 00:03:53,262 Speaker 1: is sort of magical. Every day little silly things you do. 79 00:03:53,742 --> 00:03:55,862 Speaker 3: And I realized that Lucra and I and you know 80 00:03:55,902 --> 00:03:57,462 Speaker 3: when you tell it out loud and you just sound 81 00:03:57,502 --> 00:03:59,942 Speaker 3: like the lamest person in the world. Luca and I 82 00:03:59,982 --> 00:04:01,702 Speaker 3: have one where every night he gets into bed and 83 00:04:01,742 --> 00:04:03,782 Speaker 3: he says, have you hidden my eye mask? Because he 84 00:04:03,822 --> 00:04:05,382 Speaker 3: wears an eye mask? And what a ridiculous thing. Why 85 00:04:05,422 --> 00:04:07,422 Speaker 3: would I hide his eye mask? And we play this 86 00:04:07,462 --> 00:04:09,102 Speaker 3: whole thing where like I didn't hide your eye mask 87 00:04:09,142 --> 00:04:10,902 Speaker 3: and then you find it anyway. 88 00:04:10,702 --> 00:04:12,862 Speaker 1: That sounds hilarious, hilarious, No, no, no, But. 89 00:04:13,062 --> 00:04:15,702 Speaker 2: Because the people's whimsies are hard. But then I stepped up. 90 00:04:15,822 --> 00:04:16,541 Speaker 1: It gets funnier. 91 00:04:16,662 --> 00:04:19,541 Speaker 3: Yeah, because then I started hiding it and it became 92 00:04:19,582 --> 00:04:22,582 Speaker 3: a little game, and I hide it every night and 93 00:04:22,622 --> 00:04:25,062 Speaker 3: then he can't find it, and then we have this 94 00:04:25,142 --> 00:04:28,301 Speaker 3: little playful thing. And it's like people think we're boring 95 00:04:28,301 --> 00:04:30,262 Speaker 3: because we have a baby, but here we are looking. 96 00:04:30,061 --> 00:04:33,741 Speaker 2: For an ear mask. Oh that's quite good, isn't it. Fun? 97 00:04:34,101 --> 00:04:35,981 Speaker 2: Vegetables a lot, I asked, you know what I'm saying 98 00:04:36,022 --> 00:04:38,782 Speaker 2: to them. You're having a hard day. You are on 99 00:04:38,941 --> 00:04:40,261 Speaker 2: your darling. It's gonna be okay. 100 00:04:40,342 --> 00:04:43,181 Speaker 1: I had a thing where I accidentally bought too many 101 00:04:43,421 --> 00:04:47,421 Speaker 1: packs of tiny snack sized sandwich bags, but like the 102 00:04:47,462 --> 00:04:50,981 Speaker 1: snack size, you know, the resealable ones. And my children 103 00:04:51,022 --> 00:04:53,702 Speaker 1: who don't live at home, always come home and like rifle, 104 00:04:53,782 --> 00:04:55,502 Speaker 1: they go shopping in the pantry and in the fridge 105 00:04:55,501 --> 00:04:56,902 Speaker 1: and they're always looking for things, and I'm always trying 106 00:04:56,902 --> 00:04:59,462 Speaker 1: to offload these tiny, little stupid sandwich bags that I've 107 00:04:59,462 --> 00:05:01,582 Speaker 1: got many packets off and then I want them. So 108 00:05:01,621 --> 00:05:04,342 Speaker 1: what I do is that I always hide them like 109 00:05:04,421 --> 00:05:08,181 Speaker 1: in their glove box. All that's fun, handbag, that's quite fun. 110 00:05:08,421 --> 00:05:10,621 Speaker 1: And the other thing that I was thinking that was whimsy. 111 00:05:11,022 --> 00:05:14,462 Speaker 1: Is my jeans today, which none of you have noticed. 112 00:05:14,501 --> 00:05:16,581 Speaker 2: I think you get all your wimsy out of your clothes. 113 00:05:16,262 --> 00:05:22,981 Speaker 1: Actually pretend track suit pants that look like jeanspitch. 114 00:05:21,861 --> 00:05:23,901 Speaker 3: Yes turning up, which can't be good for audio. 115 00:05:24,142 --> 00:05:25,861 Speaker 2: We all document this on the feed. 116 00:05:26,621 --> 00:05:30,541 Speaker 1: Is that whimsy putting on jeans is like a thing 117 00:05:30,621 --> 00:05:33,501 Speaker 1: that's not very whimsical, But I've made them whimsical because 118 00:05:33,501 --> 00:05:35,422 Speaker 1: they're actually secretly tracksuit pack. 119 00:05:35,462 --> 00:05:37,462 Speaker 3: The other whimsical thing we've been doing is I feel 120 00:05:37,501 --> 00:05:40,182 Speaker 3: like every time you know you've got Luna or I've 121 00:05:40,181 --> 00:05:42,301 Speaker 3: got Luna, is we teach her a new phrase that 122 00:05:42,342 --> 00:05:45,101 Speaker 3: she actually doesn't need. So she got home from the 123 00:05:45,181 --> 00:05:48,622 Speaker 3: other day gay rights. Someone had taught the nanny had 124 00:05:48,621 --> 00:05:50,342 Speaker 3: taught Luna gay rights, and we were all just having 125 00:05:50,381 --> 00:05:51,021 Speaker 3: a laugh about it. 126 00:05:51,142 --> 00:05:53,541 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's just a bit silly, very silly. You know 127 00:05:53,582 --> 00:05:59,381 Speaker 2: what's whimsy? The budgies. The budgies are yes you a producer. 128 00:05:59,501 --> 00:06:02,421 Speaker 2: Ruth play the little prank on mea a while ago 129 00:06:02,541 --> 00:06:04,621 Speaker 2: where we were sitting in her office having an important 130 00:06:04,662 --> 00:06:08,141 Speaker 2: meeting about something serious, and then suddenly we noticed that 131 00:06:08,181 --> 00:06:10,142 Speaker 2: they were a little pretend Bude and. 132 00:06:10,101 --> 00:06:11,742 Speaker 1: I thought it was real. I could just see one 133 00:06:11,782 --> 00:06:14,342 Speaker 1: and I was like, is that real? On? 134 00:06:14,462 --> 00:06:18,421 Speaker 2: Like a pop plant hiding in one of MEA's coat hangers? 135 00:06:18,902 --> 00:06:21,742 Speaker 2: And the in joke is that, Mia? What's the en 136 00:06:21,782 --> 00:06:22,262 Speaker 2: joke about it? 137 00:06:22,462 --> 00:06:24,061 Speaker 1: It's something about it. I look at a camera and 138 00:06:24,101 --> 00:06:24,701 Speaker 1: talk to myself. 139 00:06:26,301 --> 00:06:28,142 Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, they're very whimsy. 140 00:06:29,022 --> 00:06:31,702 Speaker 3: You might have heard about Ruby Frank, a woman who 141 00:06:31,782 --> 00:06:34,741 Speaker 3: abused her children in front of millions of people, but 142 00:06:34,861 --> 00:06:38,181 Speaker 3: what do we know about her husband? Let's start at 143 00:06:38,222 --> 00:06:40,181 Speaker 3: the beginning. Do you guys know much about this story? 144 00:06:40,262 --> 00:06:42,541 Speaker 1: I know nothing. It's an all or nothing story. I 145 00:06:42,621 --> 00:06:46,702 Speaker 1: know she's a YouTuber and an influencer and was while 146 00:06:46,782 --> 00:06:49,262 Speaker 1: she was you know, had this big channel, was secretly 147 00:06:49,301 --> 00:06:51,421 Speaker 1: abusing her children, and now she's in jail. That's yeah. 148 00:06:51,541 --> 00:06:54,022 Speaker 3: I had no context for when the story came out. 149 00:06:54,022 --> 00:06:56,702 Speaker 3: I'd never heard of her. So basically, in twenty fifteen, 150 00:06:56,782 --> 00:06:59,702 Speaker 3: Ruby Frank, she was a mother of six living in Utah, 151 00:06:59,981 --> 00:07:02,941 Speaker 3: began a YouTube channel called eight Passengers so six Kids, 152 00:07:02,941 --> 00:07:05,462 Speaker 3: her and her husband Kevin. At its peak, the channel 153 00:07:05,501 --> 00:07:09,301 Speaker 3: had two point five million subscribers, and the content often 154 00:07:09,381 --> 00:07:12,581 Speaker 3: in sight into their home life. Her parenting style was 155 00:07:12,662 --> 00:07:16,822 Speaker 3: always very strict. For example, her two sons were play 156 00:07:16,862 --> 00:07:19,542 Speaker 3: fighting in one video, and she told them if they 157 00:07:19,622 --> 00:07:21,742 Speaker 3: kept doing it, they'd lose the privilege of eating dinner. 158 00:07:22,102 --> 00:07:24,581 Speaker 3: One of her daughters was cutting things in the house 159 00:07:24,622 --> 00:07:26,382 Speaker 3: and she threatened to cut off the head of her doll. 160 00:07:27,102 --> 00:07:29,902 Speaker 3: But things started to become more and more extreme over 161 00:07:29,902 --> 00:07:30,941 Speaker 3: the course of the channel. 162 00:07:31,022 --> 00:07:35,622 Speaker 1: This at the time when those family YouTubers and they 163 00:07:35,662 --> 00:07:38,662 Speaker 1: sort of documented their whole life. It's not so common anymore, 164 00:07:38,662 --> 00:07:41,062 Speaker 1: I don't think, but it was huge in the mid. 165 00:07:41,262 --> 00:07:44,302 Speaker 3: The kind of yeah, yeah, exactly in Utah because of 166 00:07:44,342 --> 00:07:46,622 Speaker 3: the Mormon element, there are these big families. 167 00:07:46,662 --> 00:07:49,141 Speaker 2: It feels like, not to want to make light of 168 00:07:49,182 --> 00:07:52,742 Speaker 2: this story, but that Utah really overrepresents in the influencer space. 169 00:07:52,902 --> 00:07:55,821 Speaker 2: It's like a lot of the traadwives from Utah. Yeah, 170 00:07:55,862 --> 00:07:58,141 Speaker 2: a lot of the big families are from Utah. It 171 00:07:58,222 --> 00:08:00,462 Speaker 2: must have a high headcount of it does. 172 00:08:00,542 --> 00:08:02,942 Speaker 3: And physically it's a very beautiful face. 173 00:08:04,222 --> 00:08:05,302 Speaker 2: A set. 174 00:08:05,582 --> 00:08:08,542 Speaker 3: Things then became more extreme. So her older son, Chad, 175 00:08:08,742 --> 00:08:11,461 Speaker 3: speaking to the said that his mother had taken away 176 00:08:11,542 --> 00:08:14,422 Speaker 3: his bed for seven months after he played a prank 177 00:08:14,462 --> 00:08:16,901 Speaker 3: on his sibling, and since he'd been sleeping on a 178 00:08:16,941 --> 00:08:20,302 Speaker 3: bean bag, and in the video, Ruby Frank was seen laughing. 179 00:08:20,821 --> 00:08:24,461 Speaker 3: This then launched a petition flagging that there were signs 180 00:08:24,462 --> 00:08:28,381 Speaker 3: of abuse and neglect where they called on Child Protective 181 00:08:28,422 --> 00:08:31,581 Speaker 3: Services to investigate. That was from her followers. The channel 182 00:08:31,622 --> 00:08:33,942 Speaker 3: shut down, and then Ruby Frank kind of went off. 183 00:08:34,022 --> 00:08:36,142 Speaker 3: We didn't see so much of her kids anymore, but 184 00:08:36,222 --> 00:08:39,462 Speaker 3: she launched a parenting advice support program alongside this woman 185 00:08:39,542 --> 00:08:43,542 Speaker 3: named Jody Hildebrand. Then in August twenty twenty three, this 186 00:08:43,622 --> 00:08:47,902 Speaker 3: story broke out again because one of Frank's children, reportedly malnourished, 187 00:08:48,222 --> 00:08:50,702 Speaker 3: climbed out of Hildebrand's house and banged on the door 188 00:08:50,742 --> 00:08:52,822 Speaker 3: of a neighbor asking for food and water. 189 00:08:53,302 --> 00:08:55,622 Speaker 4: I just had a twelve year old boy so up 190 00:08:55,662 --> 00:08:59,502 Speaker 4: here at my front door asking for help, and he's 191 00:08:59,862 --> 00:09:03,662 Speaker 4: said he had just came from a neighbor's house. He's emaciated, 192 00:09:03,822 --> 00:09:05,942 Speaker 4: he's got tape around his leg. 193 00:09:06,302 --> 00:09:10,062 Speaker 3: Frank and this Hildebrand woman were arrested and four of 194 00:09:10,102 --> 00:09:13,022 Speaker 3: Frank's children were taken into care. The eldest two were 195 00:09:13,062 --> 00:09:15,782 Speaker 3: out of home by that point. Here's what we know 196 00:09:15,862 --> 00:09:18,542 Speaker 3: about what Frank was doing to her children. She forced 197 00:09:18,542 --> 00:09:20,862 Speaker 3: her twelve year old son to do hours of physical 198 00:09:20,902 --> 00:09:24,662 Speaker 3: tasks off and outside. It resulted in serious sunburn that blistered. 199 00:09:24,982 --> 00:09:28,062 Speaker 3: He was denied food and after attempting to run away, 200 00:09:28,102 --> 00:09:31,702 Speaker 3: his hands and feet were regularly bound. Similar punishments were 201 00:09:31,742 --> 00:09:35,381 Speaker 3: inflicted on her daughter. There are more horrific details that 202 00:09:35,422 --> 00:09:38,381 Speaker 3: I'm not going to outline here, but Frank was ultimately 203 00:09:38,622 --> 00:09:41,702 Speaker 3: charged with child abuse and will spend four to sixty 204 00:09:41,822 --> 00:09:45,702 Speaker 3: years behind bars, which I think it will be around thirty. 205 00:09:46,422 --> 00:09:48,542 Speaker 3: This has led to a lot of reflection and potential 206 00:09:48,622 --> 00:09:51,302 Speaker 3: law reform. When we round dad, where is Kevin? I 207 00:09:51,422 --> 00:09:54,662 Speaker 3: have often wondered this because he has evaded a lot 208 00:09:54,662 --> 00:09:58,342 Speaker 3: of scrutiny. They were separated by that point, and he 209 00:09:58,702 --> 00:10:01,542 Speaker 3: had not been living with Ruby Frank for about thirteen 210 00:10:01,582 --> 00:10:04,102 Speaker 3: months before this happened, and it is understood that the 211 00:10:04,142 --> 00:10:07,422 Speaker 3: abuse really stepped up in that time. He hadn't seen 212 00:10:07,422 --> 00:10:09,702 Speaker 3: the children, and he hadn't seen the children, but a 213 00:10:09,742 --> 00:10:13,782 Speaker 3: lot of the strict behaviors and also having the children 214 00:10:13,822 --> 00:10:14,862 Speaker 3: on a YouTube channel. 215 00:10:15,022 --> 00:10:17,502 Speaker 2: The YouTube channel involved him exactly right. 216 00:10:17,982 --> 00:10:21,782 Speaker 3: But over the weekend Kevin Frank spoke about his regrets 217 00:10:22,262 --> 00:10:24,982 Speaker 3: and he said that he is petitioning for a bill 218 00:10:25,142 --> 00:10:28,182 Speaker 3: whereby a child claims a percentage of money made off 219 00:10:28,222 --> 00:10:31,582 Speaker 3: their image, and also can demand as an adult that 220 00:10:31,622 --> 00:10:33,102 Speaker 3: the content made of them be removed. 221 00:10:33,422 --> 00:10:36,262 Speaker 1: You would assume that that was already the case, but 222 00:10:36,302 --> 00:10:37,662 Speaker 1: I guess it's just not in law. 223 00:10:37,822 --> 00:10:40,502 Speaker 2: No, it is in some countries. So this is part 224 00:10:40,542 --> 00:10:43,542 Speaker 2: of the whole reckoning around. You know, this kind of 225 00:10:43,702 --> 00:10:48,502 Speaker 2: influencing that involves children, and there are some countries where 226 00:10:48,702 --> 00:10:50,822 Speaker 2: ten percent of the income has to be put aside 227 00:10:50,942 --> 00:10:52,742 Speaker 2: in some kind of trust for a child, and they 228 00:10:52,782 --> 00:10:55,022 Speaker 2: want to try and pass a similar law in some 229 00:10:55,062 --> 00:10:57,542 Speaker 2: of the states in America, which is why this guy has. 230 00:10:57,422 --> 00:11:00,502 Speaker 3: Come out has come out. But Holly, I wondered when 231 00:11:00,502 --> 00:11:03,381 Speaker 3: I saw this a week conflating two issues here because 232 00:11:03,382 --> 00:11:06,502 Speaker 3: one is the YouTube element. But is this actually a 233 00:11:06,542 --> 00:11:08,782 Speaker 3: story about vologging or is this a story about something 234 00:11:08,822 --> 00:11:09,502 Speaker 3: else entirely. 235 00:11:10,502 --> 00:11:13,822 Speaker 2: I think this story gets misrepresented a lot because I'm 236 00:11:13,822 --> 00:11:16,782 Speaker 2: probably typical of some out louders who aren't massively familiar 237 00:11:16,782 --> 00:11:19,422 Speaker 2: with the Franks in that I've seen these headlines around 238 00:11:19,462 --> 00:11:23,222 Speaker 2: a lot, and it's been very much cautionary tale about 239 00:11:23,222 --> 00:11:28,382 Speaker 2: putting your children online, toxic side of influencing and parent influencers. 240 00:11:28,982 --> 00:11:31,062 Speaker 2: But what we're talking about here some of the abuse 241 00:11:31,142 --> 00:11:33,822 Speaker 2: that you outlined before, the stuff that Ruby Frank actually 242 00:11:33,822 --> 00:11:37,182 Speaker 2: got arrested for and is serving a significant jail term for, 243 00:11:37,302 --> 00:11:40,662 Speaker 2: as she absolutely should. That was not on the internet. 244 00:11:40,902 --> 00:11:44,142 Speaker 2: That is child abuse of the highest order. And it's 245 00:11:44,182 --> 00:11:46,261 Speaker 2: not like she was putting that upon YouTube. There is 246 00:11:46,302 --> 00:11:49,222 Speaker 2: a world of difference between the kind of stuff that 247 00:11:49,342 --> 00:11:52,102 Speaker 2: she was famous for, and I think we should be 248 00:11:52,142 --> 00:11:54,182 Speaker 2: really clear about. One of the reasons why this, I 249 00:11:54,182 --> 00:11:57,102 Speaker 2: think is so shocking in inverted commons to people is 250 00:11:57,102 --> 00:11:59,982 Speaker 2: that Ruby Frank, certainly at the time of her fame, 251 00:12:00,582 --> 00:12:04,542 Speaker 2: she doesn't look like an abusive parent in inverted commerce. 252 00:12:04,582 --> 00:12:07,582 Speaker 2: Obviously I'm not saying that, but that's the world's perceptions. 253 00:12:07,782 --> 00:12:11,982 Speaker 2: She's very well roomed, white lady with the nice bob 254 00:12:12,022 --> 00:12:14,742 Speaker 2: and the beautiful home and all the beautiful children, and 255 00:12:14,782 --> 00:12:18,582 Speaker 2: there's that aspirational element that people buy into. But she 256 00:12:18,702 --> 00:12:20,902 Speaker 2: was known, as you said, Jesse, for being quite strict. 257 00:12:20,942 --> 00:12:22,622 Speaker 2: But there is a world of difference between the kind 258 00:12:22,662 --> 00:12:24,302 Speaker 2: of stuff she was putting up on YouTube, which was 259 00:12:24,302 --> 00:12:27,822 Speaker 2: stuff like my daughter forgot her lunch today, the teacher 260 00:12:27,862 --> 00:12:29,582 Speaker 2: called me, But I'm gonna let her go hungry to 261 00:12:29,622 --> 00:12:32,182 Speaker 2: teach her a lesson let them. Yep, that's a let them. 262 00:12:32,222 --> 00:12:34,342 Speaker 2: And also some people would say that's you know, that's 263 00:12:34,422 --> 00:12:39,982 Speaker 2: good parenting, like resilience, content, etc. There is an ocean 264 00:12:40,022 --> 00:12:43,022 Speaker 2: of difference between that and keeping your child restrained in 265 00:12:43,062 --> 00:12:44,862 Speaker 2: a secret room in your house. And I think that 266 00:12:44,982 --> 00:12:48,302 Speaker 2: in a way, the headlines and the beautiful blonde lady 267 00:12:48,382 --> 00:12:52,022 Speaker 2: and the parent influencers finger wagging is like almost trying 268 00:12:52,022 --> 00:12:54,102 Speaker 2: to convince people that that's what was happening and we 269 00:12:54,102 --> 00:12:56,382 Speaker 2: were all born into it. But they're two different things. 270 00:12:56,462 --> 00:12:56,862 Speaker 2: I think. 271 00:12:56,982 --> 00:12:59,822 Speaker 3: Do you think this has much to do with YouTube 272 00:12:59,862 --> 00:13:02,582 Speaker 3: and sharing images of your children online? Because it's almost 273 00:13:02,582 --> 00:13:05,222 Speaker 3: like people are trying to suggest see the type of 274 00:13:05,222 --> 00:13:07,862 Speaker 3: people that profit off their children. I wonder if there's an. 275 00:13:07,782 --> 00:13:10,502 Speaker 1: Element about I wonder if you guys are feeling defensive 276 00:13:10,742 --> 00:13:15,782 Speaker 1: because you've profited off your children in some of your content. No, 277 00:13:15,862 --> 00:13:18,422 Speaker 1: I'm joking, but to me, I didn't read it like that. 278 00:13:18,542 --> 00:13:23,102 Speaker 1: To me, I read it that it was more it's 279 00:13:23,142 --> 00:13:26,102 Speaker 1: all lies, and we suspected that it was all lies. 280 00:13:26,102 --> 00:13:28,702 Speaker 1: And that's why I think there's glee, which is it 281 00:13:28,782 --> 00:13:32,462 Speaker 1: all looks so, whether it's ballerin a farm or any 282 00:13:32,502 --> 00:13:35,262 Speaker 1: of the other influencers Narah Smith. It all looks so 283 00:13:35,342 --> 00:13:40,542 Speaker 1: picture perfect, but underneath the surface there's terrible, dark things happening, 284 00:13:41,302 --> 00:13:43,422 Speaker 1: and it's like there's a glee, which is we knew 285 00:13:43,422 --> 00:13:44,862 Speaker 1: it couldn't be as good as it looked. 286 00:13:45,302 --> 00:13:47,782 Speaker 3: I think it's also almost a true crime element of 287 00:13:47,822 --> 00:13:51,702 Speaker 3: there were science, so it's the online detective. 288 00:13:51,502 --> 00:13:53,782 Speaker 1: The idea that it was happening under everyone's none. 289 00:13:53,822 --> 00:13:56,142 Speaker 3: Yeah, because there were the sort of little things which, 290 00:13:56,182 --> 00:13:58,982 Speaker 3: as you say, taken out of context, don't look you 291 00:13:59,062 --> 00:14:01,062 Speaker 3: kind of go, oh, that's a bit harsh, but it's 292 00:14:01,142 --> 00:14:04,742 Speaker 3: not a crime. But I worry that it will embolden 293 00:14:04,942 --> 00:14:09,942 Speaker 3: the commenters and embolden the kind of online community that 294 00:14:10,102 --> 00:14:12,982 Speaker 3: we all know can be. I remember sharing an image 295 00:14:12,982 --> 00:14:15,302 Speaker 3: of Luna when she was a few months old and 296 00:14:15,382 --> 00:14:19,022 Speaker 3: a comment basically suggesting that it was my fault she 297 00:14:19,102 --> 00:14:22,422 Speaker 3: was so little because I wasn't feeding her properly. And 298 00:14:22,462 --> 00:14:26,342 Speaker 3: this is the thing about like people watching any of 299 00:14:26,382 --> 00:14:28,862 Speaker 3: your parenting, is that they're going to have an opinion 300 00:14:28,862 --> 00:14:29,302 Speaker 3: about it. 301 00:14:29,342 --> 00:14:32,462 Speaker 1: But aren't we learning that from this generation of kids 302 00:14:32,662 --> 00:14:35,062 Speaker 1: who were put on the internet by their parents, And 303 00:14:35,982 --> 00:14:37,942 Speaker 1: I should say none of us knew what we were doing. 304 00:14:38,022 --> 00:14:41,422 Speaker 1: It just so happened that my kids escaped that era. 305 00:14:42,142 --> 00:14:44,182 Speaker 1: Had they been born a few years later, or some 306 00:14:44,262 --> 00:14:46,302 Speaker 1: of them a few years earlier, I would have done 307 00:14:46,502 --> 00:14:49,582 Speaker 1: the same thing. Because it's like, if you're someone who 308 00:14:49,622 --> 00:14:53,102 Speaker 1: lives online and part of the content that you make 309 00:14:53,342 --> 00:14:57,142 Speaker 1: and monetize is about your life, you can't just pretend 310 00:14:57,142 --> 00:14:59,422 Speaker 1: you don't have children. So I get that, but I 311 00:14:59,422 --> 00:15:01,702 Speaker 1: think that what we're seeing now is that those children 312 00:15:01,742 --> 00:15:04,302 Speaker 1: are old enough to go, hey, you know that thing 313 00:15:04,662 --> 00:15:05,662 Speaker 1: that wasn't good for us. 314 00:15:05,742 --> 00:15:09,382 Speaker 3: Yeah, But I reckon that we are unable to see 315 00:15:09,822 --> 00:15:12,262 Speaker 3: as a spectrum. We have become so black and white 316 00:15:12,302 --> 00:15:14,742 Speaker 3: about sharing an image of a child online that it's 317 00:15:14,782 --> 00:15:17,822 Speaker 3: like you share an image and you're traumatizing them for life. 318 00:15:17,982 --> 00:15:21,262 Speaker 3: There is a spectrum where it's like sharing a family photograph, 319 00:15:21,502 --> 00:15:25,902 Speaker 3: child appears in video, making your children work full time 320 00:15:25,982 --> 00:15:28,902 Speaker 3: for your content, and filming them at their worst moments 321 00:15:28,942 --> 00:15:32,782 Speaker 3: when they're crying or tantruming or whatever, like, they are 322 00:15:33,462 --> 00:15:37,022 Speaker 3: totally different things, and we seem to not understand that 323 00:15:37,102 --> 00:15:38,062 Speaker 3: it's yeah, that it's. 324 00:15:37,942 --> 00:15:40,502 Speaker 2: Not the same. Ruby Frank's daughter, who has written a 325 00:15:40,542 --> 00:15:43,022 Speaker 2: memoir and who is also talking in this push to 326 00:15:43,062 --> 00:15:45,542 Speaker 2: get this bill passed in Utah, which her dad is too, 327 00:15:46,262 --> 00:15:48,782 Speaker 2: is very vocal about the fact that she feels very exploited, 328 00:15:48,902 --> 00:15:50,862 Speaker 2: and she said, you know, she was her mum would 329 00:15:50,902 --> 00:15:53,462 Speaker 2: film her bras shopping and put that online. She'd put 330 00:15:53,502 --> 00:15:56,862 Speaker 2: all kinds of very sensitive teenage stuff up there. And 331 00:15:57,102 --> 00:15:59,262 Speaker 2: I think, without questioning me or you're right, that there 332 00:15:59,342 --> 00:16:02,382 Speaker 2: is a generation who've grown up and said hey, But 333 00:16:02,502 --> 00:16:06,102 Speaker 2: as Jesse says, I don't think that's the same as 334 00:16:06,102 --> 00:16:08,862 Speaker 2: somebody who just sometimes puts a bitture of them. Care no, 335 00:16:09,022 --> 00:16:10,782 Speaker 2: but we are. I mean, you're right. But to your 336 00:16:11,062 --> 00:16:13,302 Speaker 2: barber earlier on which is fair enough about you know, 337 00:16:13,342 --> 00:16:16,582 Speaker 2: do you feel defensive? I think I probably do feel defensive. 338 00:16:16,662 --> 00:16:19,262 Speaker 2: Not in any way do I feel like I want 339 00:16:19,302 --> 00:16:21,582 Speaker 2: to defend a person like Ruby Frank who's abusing her 340 00:16:21,622 --> 00:16:24,382 Speaker 2: children in the worst way possible. But I do want 341 00:16:24,422 --> 00:16:27,102 Speaker 2: to be a little bit defensive about the idea that 342 00:16:27,422 --> 00:16:32,942 Speaker 2: ever involving your children in online content is necessarily entirely negative. 343 00:16:33,022 --> 00:16:34,862 Speaker 2: I don't think that's true. I think it feeds into 344 00:16:34,902 --> 00:16:36,822 Speaker 2: one of the reasons why the wear of the dad's 345 00:16:36,942 --> 00:16:39,902 Speaker 2: question is interesting, which is the people who are consuming 346 00:16:40,142 --> 00:16:42,462 Speaker 2: very often a lot of parenting content on the internet, 347 00:16:42,542 --> 00:16:45,622 Speaker 2: or women they're looking at other women doing it. And 348 00:16:45,822 --> 00:16:48,902 Speaker 2: although it very often starts off with a I feel seen, 349 00:16:49,062 --> 00:16:52,022 Speaker 2: thank god, my house is dirty like your houses. My 350 00:16:52,142 --> 00:16:54,702 Speaker 2: kid won't eat vegetables like your kid won't eat vegetables, 351 00:16:55,102 --> 00:16:58,462 Speaker 2: it also always morphs into a big stream of judgment, 352 00:16:58,702 --> 00:17:01,062 Speaker 2: big stream of like, well, you know that child's top 353 00:17:01,102 --> 00:17:03,062 Speaker 2: does look a bit dirty, and you're not feeding your 354 00:17:03,102 --> 00:17:06,182 Speaker 2: child probably Jesse and whatever. I think that that's very 355 00:17:06,222 --> 00:17:10,342 Speaker 2: toxic for the parent involved, and we know that if 356 00:17:10,341 --> 00:17:12,381 Speaker 2: the child is exposed to that, that's terrible. But I 357 00:17:12,382 --> 00:17:14,702 Speaker 2: don't think that everybody who's doing that on the internet 358 00:17:14,861 --> 00:17:16,382 Speaker 2: isn't considering the outcome. 359 00:17:16,502 --> 00:17:19,061 Speaker 1: No, and of course many of them are. You would 360 00:17:19,101 --> 00:17:22,181 Speaker 1: hope that this is about apple kind of situation. But 361 00:17:22,262 --> 00:17:24,381 Speaker 1: I think what's interesting also is part of this bill 362 00:17:24,462 --> 00:17:27,021 Speaker 1: is that when the children become adults, they can request 363 00:17:27,022 --> 00:17:29,941 Speaker 1: and all that content about them is taken down. And 364 00:17:30,022 --> 00:17:33,101 Speaker 1: what I think that it speaks to is when we 365 00:17:33,182 --> 00:17:37,341 Speaker 1: have children, we feel that their experiences are our experiences, 366 00:17:37,381 --> 00:17:39,782 Speaker 1: and at what point do they become their own experiences? 367 00:17:39,821 --> 00:17:43,942 Speaker 1: Like you exactly, you watch people talk about a child's 368 00:17:44,101 --> 00:17:48,502 Speaker 1: medical condition or their behavior and it's all through the 369 00:17:48,581 --> 00:17:51,262 Speaker 1: lens of how it affects that person as a mother, 370 00:17:51,302 --> 00:17:54,221 Speaker 1: which I completely understand. But I think what we're becoming 371 00:17:54,262 --> 00:17:57,461 Speaker 1: more aware now is that that person didn't necessarily consent 372 00:17:57,661 --> 00:17:59,581 Speaker 1: to that. I don't mean, you know, when they're in 373 00:17:59,581 --> 00:18:02,022 Speaker 1: a their photos on the internet, or they're in a 374 00:18:02,022 --> 00:18:05,101 Speaker 1: little bit of sponsored content. I more mean that kind 375 00:18:05,182 --> 00:18:08,462 Speaker 1: of vlogging turning your life into a reality show. 376 00:18:08,942 --> 00:18:12,302 Speaker 3: It's just interesting to me how this conversation has almost 377 00:18:12,341 --> 00:18:16,901 Speaker 3: totally excluded fathers like as participants in their children's lives. 378 00:18:16,982 --> 00:18:19,022 Speaker 3: And I understand it to a degree because it is 379 00:18:19,141 --> 00:18:22,542 Speaker 3: women who post a lot of this content and women 380 00:18:22,581 --> 00:18:25,742 Speaker 3: follow women like that's totally the point. But I also 381 00:18:25,861 --> 00:18:28,621 Speaker 3: think that we understand women to be in charge of 382 00:18:28,621 --> 00:18:32,621 Speaker 3: parenting decisions, and so I wonder if this were reversed, 383 00:18:32,861 --> 00:18:35,742 Speaker 3: it because of our children's will Exactly like, if a 384 00:18:35,821 --> 00:18:39,621 Speaker 3: child is online, let's assume, unless it's Grimes and Elon Musk, 385 00:18:39,982 --> 00:18:42,901 Speaker 3: let's assume that both parents have consented to that. But 386 00:18:43,061 --> 00:18:46,262 Speaker 3: the judgment is always towards the mother, because it's your 387 00:18:46,341 --> 00:18:46,942 Speaker 3: job to kicks. 388 00:18:47,182 --> 00:18:49,502 Speaker 1: I think, I mean, I know what you're saying. I 389 00:18:49,502 --> 00:18:53,422 Speaker 1: think that's slightly disingenuous in that there is in most 390 00:18:53,462 --> 00:18:56,861 Speaker 1: households and most families there's divide and conquers. So the 391 00:18:56,901 --> 00:18:59,741 Speaker 1: Internet and social media and knowing about all of that 392 00:19:00,141 --> 00:19:04,341 Speaker 1: is seen as moreover something that women generally know a 393 00:19:04,341 --> 00:19:06,942 Speaker 1: lot more about. You know, men on social media tend 394 00:19:06,982 --> 00:19:09,902 Speaker 1: to either not be on it or their lurkers men 395 00:19:10,022 --> 00:19:10,701 Speaker 1: rarely post. 396 00:19:11,101 --> 00:19:11,461 Speaker 5: I don't know. 397 00:19:11,542 --> 00:19:13,101 Speaker 3: I think that that's a decision that you make and 398 00:19:13,101 --> 00:19:14,902 Speaker 3: if you're going to the bottom line of the family 399 00:19:15,101 --> 00:19:17,941 Speaker 3: like this man, Look, Kevin, there is no you know, 400 00:19:18,022 --> 00:19:19,821 Speaker 3: there's evidence that he had absolutely nothing to do with 401 00:19:19,861 --> 00:19:21,061 Speaker 3: this Kevin Frank in terms. 402 00:19:20,901 --> 00:19:23,341 Speaker 2: Of the abuse of the abuse. Yeah, but he was 403 00:19:23,422 --> 00:19:25,341 Speaker 2: he was very involved in the vlogging. 404 00:19:25,581 --> 00:19:28,222 Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, And he's come out and obviously said that 405 00:19:28,262 --> 00:19:31,502 Speaker 3: he has regrets. But I just note that at no 406 00:19:31,621 --> 00:19:34,861 Speaker 3: point did everyone kind of go He was also putting 407 00:19:34,861 --> 00:19:36,942 Speaker 3: a camera in front of their face and also endorsing 408 00:19:36,942 --> 00:19:39,182 Speaker 3: the parenting style that they were both practicing. 409 00:19:39,302 --> 00:19:40,981 Speaker 2: And there are a lot of Yeah, and there are 410 00:19:41,022 --> 00:19:43,061 Speaker 2: a lot of dad influences now too. They have a 411 00:19:43,061 --> 00:19:45,461 Speaker 2: lot of female followers. I think this is the modern 412 00:19:45,782 --> 00:19:48,902 Speaker 2: example of the stage parent, right, And there have always 413 00:19:48,982 --> 00:19:52,542 Speaker 2: been extreme versions of stage parenting that have veered towards 414 00:19:52,982 --> 00:19:56,581 Speaker 2: pushing your kid really hard exploitation and pay the bills 415 00:19:56,581 --> 00:19:59,782 Speaker 2: for the family exploitation, working them over time. This is 416 00:19:59,861 --> 00:20:01,262 Speaker 2: like the dark side of that. 417 00:20:02,502 --> 00:20:05,861 Speaker 1: After the break, why everyone is feeling a bit aspirational, 418 00:20:05,982 --> 00:20:07,302 Speaker 1: including Megan Michael. 419 00:20:14,942 --> 00:20:16,942 Speaker 2: It might sound like I'm in his studio in Inner 420 00:20:16,942 --> 00:20:19,821 Speaker 2: Sydney at the moment, but mentally I am replying on 421 00:20:19,901 --> 00:20:22,061 Speaker 2: a taste for sun loungers Mui. 422 00:20:23,182 --> 00:20:25,341 Speaker 3: I haven't started watching White Lotus yet, so is it 423 00:20:25,462 --> 00:20:26,542 Speaker 3: very kind of pictureque? 424 00:20:26,542 --> 00:20:28,741 Speaker 2: Well, you've seen the other two, right, Yeah? So the 425 00:20:28,782 --> 00:20:31,421 Speaker 2: first White Lotus was a set in Hawaii at the 426 00:20:31,422 --> 00:20:34,421 Speaker 2: Four Seasons of Maui. The second one was set at 427 00:20:34,462 --> 00:20:37,341 Speaker 2: another Four Seasons in Sicily in Italy. This one is 428 00:20:37,381 --> 00:20:40,022 Speaker 2: actually filmed at three different resorts in Thailand, one of 429 00:20:40,022 --> 00:20:43,701 Speaker 2: which is the Four Seasons Samui and yes. 430 00:20:43,901 --> 00:20:46,422 Speaker 3: I feel like a holiday to be beautiful. 431 00:20:46,821 --> 00:20:49,181 Speaker 2: Of course, as soon as the first episode of season 432 00:20:49,182 --> 00:20:52,461 Speaker 2: three dropped last week, google search is for where the 433 00:20:52,502 --> 00:20:53,702 Speaker 2: hell is that filmed? 434 00:20:53,861 --> 00:20:56,462 Speaker 1: And can I go there? Skyrocketed, And the truth of 435 00:20:56,502 --> 00:20:58,661 Speaker 1: it is it's second only to why the hell did 436 00:20:58,702 --> 00:21:02,101 Speaker 1: they change the theme music? Which was iconic. But we 437 00:21:02,141 --> 00:21:02,621 Speaker 1: will move on. 438 00:21:02,742 --> 00:21:04,701 Speaker 2: We will move on. We will learn to move on 439 00:21:04,861 --> 00:21:08,141 Speaker 2: and grow and change. The hotels now in the white 440 00:21:08,182 --> 00:21:11,581 Speaker 2: Lotus world actually by into that. You can buy Whiteladus packages, 441 00:21:11,702 --> 00:21:14,101 Speaker 2: you can get deals, you can go online at the 442 00:21:14,101 --> 00:21:17,061 Speaker 2: moment and you can buy a white Loadus fluffy white robe. 443 00:21:17,381 --> 00:21:21,141 Speaker 2: You can buy white Loaders fluffy slippers. There are Instagram 444 00:21:21,222 --> 00:21:24,022 Speaker 2: accounts with all the shoppable links to all the clothes 445 00:21:24,061 --> 00:21:26,542 Speaker 2: the resort war that the women wear on the show, 446 00:21:27,182 --> 00:21:30,061 Speaker 2: and everything in white Loadus land, it seems now is shoppable, 447 00:21:30,061 --> 00:21:33,502 Speaker 2: which is not unusual because a lot of TV has 448 00:21:33,542 --> 00:21:37,702 Speaker 2: gone that way. You can buy a appropriately named skinny 449 00:21:37,742 --> 00:21:41,022 Speaker 2: water bottle from Emily in Paris. You can buy a 450 00:21:41,101 --> 00:21:44,141 Speaker 2: Stranger Things motorbike helmet. You can buy all that stuff, which. 451 00:21:44,061 --> 00:21:47,022 Speaker 3: We were discussing just last week that Netflix is about 452 00:21:47,061 --> 00:21:47,981 Speaker 3: to get in on this. 453 00:21:48,141 --> 00:21:52,341 Speaker 2: Big time with with Love Megan, which widely assumed is 454 00:21:52,381 --> 00:21:53,782 Speaker 2: that you're going to be able to buy a lot 455 00:21:53,821 --> 00:21:56,022 Speaker 2: of the things that are in that show. But I 456 00:21:56,061 --> 00:21:58,581 Speaker 2: have a question specifically about the white load of thing, 457 00:21:58,621 --> 00:22:01,701 Speaker 2: but broadly about aspiration, because if you watched any of 458 00:22:01,742 --> 00:22:04,622 Speaker 2: the white loaduses, particularly the first one, but any of them, 459 00:22:05,022 --> 00:22:08,182 Speaker 2: you'll know that actually, although it's very lovely to look at, 460 00:22:08,621 --> 00:22:12,462 Speaker 2: it is actually a high level social satire about how 461 00:22:12,581 --> 00:22:16,262 Speaker 2: rich people going to fancy resorts around the world are 462 00:22:16,302 --> 00:22:19,861 Speaker 2: actually very problematic. It gives both perspectives to the people 463 00:22:19,861 --> 00:22:21,542 Speaker 2: who work there and the people who stay there. And 464 00:22:21,621 --> 00:22:25,502 Speaker 2: very often the people who work there, I hate truly 465 00:22:25,581 --> 00:22:28,942 Speaker 2: awful people who are staying there. Sometimes there's murder involved. 466 00:22:29,141 --> 00:22:30,661 Speaker 2: And in the first one there was a lot of 467 00:22:30,702 --> 00:22:34,542 Speaker 2: commentary about the impact on Indigenous communities. There's always a 468 00:22:34,581 --> 00:22:37,981 Speaker 2: lot of social commentary in those shows, and I find 469 00:22:38,022 --> 00:22:42,102 Speaker 2: it really interesting that we love all that and then 470 00:22:42,141 --> 00:22:43,981 Speaker 2: we go, yeah, yeah, yeah, but I just want to 471 00:22:43,982 --> 00:22:45,861 Speaker 2: go there. This spar looks amazing. Where can I book? 472 00:22:45,982 --> 00:22:50,222 Speaker 2: It's like our aspiration completely overrides the context. 473 00:22:50,381 --> 00:22:52,302 Speaker 3: We want their holiday, but we don't want to be. 474 00:22:52,381 --> 00:22:54,862 Speaker 2: Them, but we will be them when we're on their holiday. 475 00:22:54,901 --> 00:22:59,262 Speaker 3: Oh no, because we don't see ourselves as the leisure class. 476 00:22:59,502 --> 00:23:01,821 Speaker 3: We do not see ourselves as that, And in fact 477 00:23:02,341 --> 00:23:05,981 Speaker 3: there's this contrast between even like I keep thinking about 478 00:23:06,022 --> 00:23:08,901 Speaker 3: the Kim Kardashian of the world, right keeping up with 479 00:23:08,942 --> 00:23:11,782 Speaker 3: the Kardashian ended. I think last year I can't even tell. 480 00:23:11,702 --> 00:23:14,421 Speaker 2: Them it's on again against It's not called keeping up 481 00:23:14,422 --> 00:23:16,981 Speaker 2: the it's just called the Kardashians on at the. 482 00:23:16,982 --> 00:23:21,581 Speaker 3: Moment, totally fizzled out in terms of interest. 483 00:23:21,262 --> 00:23:23,461 Speaker 1: Cultural in terms of cultural. 484 00:23:23,182 --> 00:23:26,101 Speaker 3: Relevance, it has totally fizzled out because I think there's 485 00:23:26,141 --> 00:23:29,061 Speaker 3: something very on the nose about the Kardashians right now, 486 00:23:29,222 --> 00:23:34,181 Speaker 3: the conspicuous consumption of it, that luxury goods. I don't 487 00:23:34,302 --> 00:23:37,742 Speaker 3: think that that's what we aspire to anymore, and there's 488 00:23:37,782 --> 00:23:40,542 Speaker 3: a real kind of revolt against it. 489 00:23:40,581 --> 00:23:42,982 Speaker 2: I don't think you're right. I wish you were right 490 00:23:43,022 --> 00:23:44,741 Speaker 2: about that, But I think if you look at the 491 00:23:44,782 --> 00:23:46,742 Speaker 2: culture in America at the moment, there is a lot 492 00:23:46,782 --> 00:23:49,622 Speaker 2: of aspiration towards extreme wealth. There's a lot of it. 493 00:23:49,742 --> 00:23:52,101 Speaker 3: I think the ratings of the Kardashians tell us something. 494 00:23:52,141 --> 00:23:55,901 Speaker 3: I think the fact that they are not cool. Like 495 00:23:55,942 --> 00:23:57,821 Speaker 3: if someone told you that they were a massive fan 496 00:23:57,821 --> 00:23:59,821 Speaker 3: of Kim Kardashian, you'd be very confused. 497 00:23:59,901 --> 00:24:00,101 Speaker 6: Yeah. 498 00:24:00,101 --> 00:24:02,901 Speaker 2: But also that show, I think it's just morphed because 499 00:24:02,982 --> 00:24:05,381 Speaker 2: the Kardashians has died for lots of reasons, one of 500 00:24:05,422 --> 00:24:07,861 Speaker 2: which is that you're now expected to watch like with 501 00:24:07,982 --> 00:24:11,141 Speaker 2: baited breath to see Kim Kardashian go to that fashion 502 00:24:11,182 --> 00:24:13,422 Speaker 2: show that you've already seen her go to fifty five 503 00:24:13,462 --> 00:24:16,021 Speaker 2: times on your socials by then. And I think there 504 00:24:16,101 --> 00:24:18,142 Speaker 2: is some truth to the aspirational thing, but I think 505 00:24:18,182 --> 00:24:21,102 Speaker 2: it's kind of just shifted a bit because now it 506 00:24:21,182 --> 00:24:23,581 Speaker 2: is this we want to buy all the things that 507 00:24:23,621 --> 00:24:26,581 Speaker 2: all the famous people have. One of the biggest obviously 508 00:24:26,782 --> 00:24:28,941 Speaker 2: shows on YouTube is about giving away lots of money, 509 00:24:28,942 --> 00:24:32,022 Speaker 2: making people into millionaires. Everybody wants that, Like, I don't 510 00:24:32,061 --> 00:24:37,061 Speaker 2: think the hunger for money status things has gone anywhere. 511 00:24:37,702 --> 00:24:39,782 Speaker 2: In fact, I think that something like the White Lotus 512 00:24:39,782 --> 00:24:41,502 Speaker 2: and how we kind of love to be in on 513 00:24:41,542 --> 00:24:43,422 Speaker 2: the joke of laughing at the rich people, but really 514 00:24:43,462 --> 00:24:45,742 Speaker 2: we just want to be on their holiday kind of 515 00:24:45,782 --> 00:24:46,821 Speaker 2: says that we haven't moved on. 516 00:24:46,861 --> 00:24:49,021 Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't think it's as complicated as that. 517 00:24:49,101 --> 00:24:51,141 Speaker 1: I think it's just like that looks like a really 518 00:24:51,222 --> 00:24:54,262 Speaker 1: nice place to go and have a massage, or to 519 00:24:54,381 --> 00:24:57,661 Speaker 1: go and have a swim, hopefully without any bodies in 520 00:24:57,702 --> 00:25:01,941 Speaker 1: the pool. But that idea of there's no longer a 521 00:25:01,982 --> 00:25:05,542 Speaker 1: barrier between what I see and I want to buy it, 522 00:25:05,621 --> 00:25:09,502 Speaker 1: and that's what influencer culture is right because it's affiliate. 523 00:25:09,861 --> 00:25:12,542 Speaker 1: I can just click on whatever this influencer is wearing, 524 00:25:12,661 --> 00:25:15,821 Speaker 1: what products they're using. This is just an extension of that, 525 00:25:15,861 --> 00:25:18,341 Speaker 1: which is why Netflix is actually a really logical partner 526 00:25:18,341 --> 00:25:21,542 Speaker 1: for Megan Markle in terms of you watch it and 527 00:25:21,581 --> 00:25:22,982 Speaker 1: then you click straight away. 528 00:25:23,182 --> 00:25:26,302 Speaker 3: You say that there's no barrier. But the massive barrier 529 00:25:26,462 --> 00:25:29,182 Speaker 3: that exists in a way that it didn't even ten 530 00:25:29,262 --> 00:25:31,741 Speaker 3: years ago is the cost of living adress, and I 531 00:25:31,742 --> 00:25:34,982 Speaker 3: think that that is kind of the ghost haunting all 532 00:25:34,982 --> 00:25:35,181 Speaker 3: of this. 533 00:25:35,381 --> 00:25:37,461 Speaker 1: But that's the whole point. So that you can't go 534 00:25:37,742 --> 00:25:40,141 Speaker 1: to the White Lotus, you can't go to Thailand, but 535 00:25:40,182 --> 00:25:42,341 Speaker 1: I can buy a little robe, or I can buy 536 00:25:42,381 --> 00:25:45,621 Speaker 1: that little kaftan that she's wearing all the sandals, or 537 00:25:45,661 --> 00:25:46,382 Speaker 1: a scented can. 538 00:25:46,581 --> 00:25:49,222 Speaker 3: So I reckon that the aspiration has morphed, and I 539 00:25:49,302 --> 00:25:51,981 Speaker 3: think it's smaller, Like I do think that there's a 540 00:25:52,061 --> 00:25:55,101 Speaker 3: smaller world, Like I'm thinking about the tradwife because that 541 00:25:55,502 --> 00:25:59,542 Speaker 3: has become very aspirational, but that's cooking your own sourdough, 542 00:25:59,742 --> 00:26:03,782 Speaker 3: Like there's also something that is doable. Of course, they're all. 543 00:26:03,621 --> 00:26:06,102 Speaker 1: Like that's about the aspiration of time, having a lot 544 00:26:06,101 --> 00:26:09,222 Speaker 1: of time, exactly. And there's something called the Lipstick index 545 00:26:09,262 --> 00:26:11,341 Speaker 1: or the Maine index, which is when the cost of 546 00:26:11,381 --> 00:26:13,942 Speaker 1: living is high and people are struggling or there's a recession, 547 00:26:14,381 --> 00:26:17,022 Speaker 1: the sales of small luxury goods will go up. So 548 00:26:17,101 --> 00:26:20,222 Speaker 1: lipsticks used to be magazines, little things that you can buy. 549 00:26:20,542 --> 00:26:23,661 Speaker 1: And that's why it's no accident that tmu's slogan is 550 00:26:23,702 --> 00:26:26,782 Speaker 1: shopped like a billionaire without spending much money. And it's 551 00:26:26,782 --> 00:26:30,662 Speaker 1: the same reason why the big designer houses like Chanelle 552 00:26:30,821 --> 00:26:35,302 Speaker 1: or Duck Chaange, Gabana, they have fragrance businesses because ninety 553 00:26:35,341 --> 00:26:37,581 Speaker 1: nine percent of people could never buy anything from Chanel, 554 00:26:37,621 --> 00:26:40,421 Speaker 1: but they can afford a fragrance. So this idea of 555 00:26:40,422 --> 00:26:42,142 Speaker 1: being able to buy a little bit of jam from 556 00:26:42,141 --> 00:26:44,741 Speaker 1: Megan Markle, of being able to buy a white Loatus candle, 557 00:26:45,222 --> 00:26:47,661 Speaker 1: or you know, in succession, it was about the stealth wealth. 558 00:26:47,901 --> 00:26:50,621 Speaker 1: I can buy a little bit of that lifestyle that 559 00:26:50,621 --> 00:26:51,582 Speaker 1: I could never afford. 560 00:26:51,742 --> 00:26:53,902 Speaker 2: It's interesting because and I was listening to you talk 561 00:26:53,901 --> 00:26:56,662 Speaker 2: about Megan last week, of course because I was off 562 00:26:56,702 --> 00:26:58,741 Speaker 2: the show, but I was like, oh my god, what 563 00:26:58,742 --> 00:26:59,262 Speaker 2: did you mean? 564 00:26:59,341 --> 00:27:02,821 Speaker 1: Can we just break to ask what you thought about her? Announcement. 565 00:27:03,022 --> 00:27:06,341 Speaker 2: I was very excited about the announcement. I think that 566 00:27:06,462 --> 00:27:09,981 Speaker 2: a lot of the nitpicking about the copyright stuff is 567 00:27:10,182 --> 00:27:15,222 Speaker 2: typical Meghan bashing, but also just astounding that they continue 568 00:27:15,262 --> 00:27:19,221 Speaker 2: to apparently keep kicking such own goals. But on Meghan World, 569 00:27:19,901 --> 00:27:21,821 Speaker 2: you said on that on the show last week, and 570 00:27:21,861 --> 00:27:24,142 Speaker 2: you're very right that the esthetic. I know I say 571 00:27:24,182 --> 00:27:26,461 Speaker 2: it wrong, but I can't help it. Just just go 572 00:27:26,542 --> 00:27:30,022 Speaker 2: with me, just becol people like you that the esthetic 573 00:27:30,262 --> 00:27:33,262 Speaker 2: that Meghan Michael is flogging or it was apparently going 574 00:27:33,302 --> 00:27:35,902 Speaker 2: to be flogging on with Love Meghan and with as 575 00:27:35,942 --> 00:27:39,621 Speaker 2: ever feels a bit dated now. She posted a vision board. 576 00:27:39,661 --> 00:27:42,262 Speaker 2: Speaking of aspiration, she posted a vision board this week, 577 00:27:42,302 --> 00:27:44,061 Speaker 2: and I'm just so happy she's back on Instagram. But 578 00:27:44,061 --> 00:27:47,102 Speaker 2: I may have already say that, I'm sorry, I'll stop talking. 579 00:27:47,141 --> 00:27:48,542 Speaker 1: You'll never get boring. 580 00:27:48,661 --> 00:27:51,022 Speaker 2: One of the things that she posted this week is 581 00:27:51,101 --> 00:27:54,181 Speaker 2: her vision board for we assume for with Love Meghan, right, 582 00:27:54,702 --> 00:27:57,621 Speaker 2: and it's just a whole lot of it is just 583 00:27:57,661 --> 00:27:59,101 Speaker 2: a whole lot of Easter eggs. So there are a 584 00:27:59,141 --> 00:28:02,022 Speaker 2: lot of literal memes or what memes used to be 585 00:28:02,901 --> 00:28:06,341 Speaker 2: from her tig days of like these kind of nafts. 586 00:28:06,061 --> 00:28:08,141 Speaker 3: Like you can't please everyone, You're not a Jarrevan. 587 00:28:08,302 --> 00:28:10,822 Speaker 2: That's all exactly that kind of stuff with a cursive 588 00:28:10,942 --> 00:28:13,701 Speaker 2: font and then a little tig thing she like, it's 589 00:28:13,742 --> 00:28:16,782 Speaker 2: twenty fifteen. But I think it's back. This is my point, 590 00:28:16,901 --> 00:28:19,542 Speaker 2: right because also on the corner of that vision board, 591 00:28:19,542 --> 00:28:22,462 Speaker 2: because don't think I haven't seen it many times, what 592 00:28:22,621 --> 00:28:24,341 Speaker 2: else is on it? There's a flat lay or what 593 00:28:24,742 --> 00:28:30,341 Speaker 2: else is so a pancake with a face made from 594 00:28:30,341 --> 00:28:33,382 Speaker 2: bacon and bananas. This is very exciting. There are fabrics, 595 00:28:33,422 --> 00:28:36,581 Speaker 2: watches so whimsical that are definitely not from clothes because 596 00:28:36,621 --> 00:28:38,741 Speaker 2: she's not allowed to sell those allowed to sell clothes 597 00:28:38,822 --> 00:28:42,342 Speaker 2: as per copyrights. There's a very cute illustration of her 598 00:28:42,542 --> 00:28:44,902 Speaker 2: and her man friend Harry and English coats. There's a 599 00:28:44,982 --> 00:28:47,382 Speaker 2: flat lay of a lot of what are presumably are 600 00:28:47,382 --> 00:28:50,022 Speaker 2: going to be the recipes from the show. They could 601 00:28:50,142 --> 00:28:52,982 Speaker 2: be from the whole pantry, from the app, the Bell 602 00:28:53,022 --> 00:28:54,181 Speaker 2: Gibson app that we've. 603 00:28:54,062 --> 00:28:57,462 Speaker 1: All just seen, yes again around that time. 604 00:28:57,582 --> 00:29:01,941 Speaker 2: So beautiful, looking, healthy, gorgeous. I mean, there's only so 605 00:29:02,022 --> 00:29:04,941 Speaker 2: many ways to food style, right, but they look very 606 00:29:05,022 --> 00:29:07,542 Speaker 2: much of the time, and I just think it's back. 607 00:29:07,702 --> 00:29:09,502 Speaker 2: I think that level of aspiration, and probably for a 608 00:29:09,582 --> 00:29:11,142 Speaker 2: lot of the reasons that you two were just discussing, 609 00:29:11,262 --> 00:29:13,862 Speaker 2: like a bit of accessible joy, a little bit of 610 00:29:14,142 --> 00:29:16,342 Speaker 2: trying to hold onto a portion of control in an 611 00:29:16,422 --> 00:29:17,382 Speaker 2: uncontrollable world. 612 00:29:17,742 --> 00:29:19,622 Speaker 1: Stewart two point zero that that kind of. 613 00:29:20,222 --> 00:29:23,421 Speaker 2: Domestic aspiration as well, as you know, the white Lotus 614 00:29:23,502 --> 00:29:26,222 Speaker 2: level is kind of back in fashion. Is it whimsy? 615 00:29:26,462 --> 00:29:28,782 Speaker 1: Because you talk about the things that you'll be able 616 00:29:28,822 --> 00:29:30,701 Speaker 1: to buy? I assume you probably won't be able to 617 00:29:30,702 --> 00:29:33,142 Speaker 1: buy the ice cubes with the tiny little flowers. 618 00:29:32,782 --> 00:29:35,662 Speaker 2: But anyone can make that tis isn't it. You can 619 00:29:35,742 --> 00:29:38,462 Speaker 2: go out in your street, steal. 620 00:29:38,222 --> 00:29:40,622 Speaker 1: Some flowers from someone else's guarded. 621 00:29:40,302 --> 00:29:42,502 Speaker 2: Forage and put them in some water, and I will 622 00:29:42,582 --> 00:29:42,902 Speaker 2: be free. 623 00:29:43,022 --> 00:29:45,622 Speaker 3: My neighbor has a sign saying do not steal my hydrangers. 624 00:29:45,742 --> 00:29:46,421 Speaker 3: I've thought about it. 625 00:29:47,342 --> 00:29:48,782 Speaker 2: She's like, I know what you want to do with 626 00:29:48,822 --> 00:29:50,782 Speaker 2: these pedals. I have one more question though, for me, 627 00:29:50,862 --> 00:29:54,222 Speaker 2: a business brain. Back to the white lotus right, there 628 00:29:54,262 --> 00:29:57,302 Speaker 2: would have been a time where an amazing brand like 629 00:29:57,382 --> 00:30:00,222 Speaker 2: The Four Seasons would not want to be associated with 630 00:30:00,342 --> 00:30:04,582 Speaker 2: a show where their staff were depicted taking drugs, sex, 631 00:30:04,982 --> 00:30:10,102 Speaker 2: beating up people, getting murdered, where a fancy brand would 632 00:30:10,102 --> 00:30:12,941 Speaker 2: have been like not near my brand, please. But the 633 00:30:13,022 --> 00:30:15,862 Speaker 2: four seasons, obviously after the success of these shows, are 634 00:30:15,942 --> 00:30:19,182 Speaker 2: leaning in I'm going, fine, we'll go with it. Very 635 00:30:19,222 --> 00:30:21,022 Speaker 2: savvy marketing, but a bit of a shift. 636 00:30:21,542 --> 00:30:24,142 Speaker 1: Not really when you think of that, these are basically 637 00:30:24,302 --> 00:30:26,822 Speaker 1: like infomercials because the whole point of the show is 638 00:30:26,942 --> 00:30:29,661 Speaker 1: to show when we check the plot out, it's just 639 00:30:30,022 --> 00:30:33,421 Speaker 1: an infomercial. Turn off the volume, and it's just looks 640 00:30:33,782 --> 00:30:36,782 Speaker 1: like a fantastic ad for you please find the murder, 641 00:30:36,902 --> 00:30:39,421 Speaker 1: which are absolutely sold out. And I think the other 642 00:30:39,502 --> 00:30:43,102 Speaker 1: thing about why everything's shoppable is that it's really expensive 643 00:30:43,222 --> 00:30:46,942 Speaker 1: to make TV and film and there are so many 644 00:30:47,062 --> 00:30:50,142 Speaker 1: challenges and by doing that, not only is it an 645 00:30:50,222 --> 00:30:53,782 Speaker 1: extra revenue stream for the creators and there's money to 646 00:30:53,862 --> 00:30:57,542 Speaker 1: be made, but then there's also product placement. And apparently 647 00:30:57,622 --> 00:30:59,142 Speaker 1: that I was reading that the White Lotus they were 648 00:30:59,182 --> 00:31:00,902 Speaker 1: talking about season four was going to be in Norway, 649 00:31:01,062 --> 00:31:03,702 Speaker 1: and that's just fallen through because one of the things 650 00:31:03,742 --> 00:31:07,822 Speaker 1: that they demand from the countries is massive tax breaks 651 00:31:07,902 --> 00:31:10,902 Speaker 1: and grants and all of those things, because those are 652 00:31:10,942 --> 00:31:12,782 Speaker 1: expensive shows to make and you need all the help 653 00:31:12,782 --> 00:31:13,142 Speaker 1: that you can. 654 00:31:13,142 --> 00:31:17,981 Speaker 3: Get in case he missed it. Last Thursday, billionaire Clive Palmer, 655 00:31:18,182 --> 00:31:21,502 Speaker 3: former head of the United Australia Party, launched a brand 656 00:31:21,622 --> 00:31:23,622 Speaker 3: new political party. Did you guys say this? 657 00:31:24,062 --> 00:31:27,661 Speaker 2: I did. I saw the hats, shoppable shoppable hats. 658 00:31:28,142 --> 00:31:30,342 Speaker 1: I did not know that Clive Palmer was still a thing. 659 00:31:30,542 --> 00:31:35,422 Speaker 3: Okay, So it is called trump Et of Patriots. 660 00:31:35,462 --> 00:31:40,302 Speaker 1: Trump Trumpet, Trumpety Trumpet the the oh did there? Yes? 661 00:31:40,422 --> 00:31:41,221 Speaker 3: Can you see what he did? 662 00:31:41,302 --> 00:31:41,941 Speaker 1: What a genius? 663 00:31:42,142 --> 00:31:42,342 Speaker 4: Yeah? 664 00:31:42,862 --> 00:31:46,701 Speaker 3: It promises to make Australia. 665 00:31:46,742 --> 00:31:50,502 Speaker 1: Trump again, great gaat again, My goodness. 666 00:31:50,542 --> 00:31:53,902 Speaker 3: Sorry, he wants to drain the swamp of Canberra. What 667 00:31:54,022 --> 00:31:56,701 Speaker 3: was his last party called United Australia. He's had a 668 00:31:56,742 --> 00:31:57,422 Speaker 3: few now. 669 00:31:57,422 --> 00:31:59,502 Speaker 1: It's like, we're not even going to pretend to United Australia. 670 00:31:59,542 --> 00:32:02,421 Speaker 1: Were Actually that's going to lean in to dividing every country. 671 00:32:02,542 --> 00:32:05,542 Speaker 3: What actually happened is that he lost a high court 672 00:32:05,582 --> 00:32:08,502 Speaker 3: bid to reregister United Australia. So I needed a new net. Okay, 673 00:32:08,622 --> 00:32:11,622 Speaker 3: bitlight megants who. 674 00:32:11,542 --> 00:32:14,501 Speaker 1: He's calling it the as I'm quite far. 675 00:32:15,422 --> 00:32:18,342 Speaker 3: He wants to ban transathletes from women's sport. Basically, all 676 00:32:18,422 --> 00:32:22,702 Speaker 3: his ideas are imported from Trump's America. Is this something 677 00:32:23,182 --> 00:32:25,382 Speaker 3: we should be worried about, like, are we about to 678 00:32:25,502 --> 00:32:27,862 Speaker 3: turn into what's happened over there? 679 00:32:27,902 --> 00:32:29,701 Speaker 1: And is this our republican part I don't think so 680 00:32:29,822 --> 00:32:32,062 Speaker 1: everyone keeps saying that, and it's like, Oh, Dutton's going 681 00:32:32,142 --> 00:32:35,062 Speaker 1: to go so Trumpian and he's going to do culture wars. 682 00:32:35,302 --> 00:32:39,062 Speaker 1: He's already said he's not. Now politicians are politicians. But 683 00:32:39,582 --> 00:32:42,261 Speaker 1: we've spoken on the show before after we all freaked 684 00:32:42,302 --> 00:32:45,462 Speaker 1: out when Trump got back in that the reason that 685 00:32:45,582 --> 00:32:49,661 Speaker 1: Australian politics will never become as extreme is because of 686 00:32:49,742 --> 00:32:53,342 Speaker 1: compulsory voting. And this sounds really nerdy, but it's not 687 00:32:53,582 --> 00:32:56,582 Speaker 1: that people don't care as much or that there aren't 688 00:32:56,582 --> 00:32:59,342 Speaker 1: as many people here that will be attracted to extreme things. 689 00:32:59,462 --> 00:33:02,942 Speaker 1: But in countries where voting isn't compulsory, it's like the algorithm. 690 00:33:03,022 --> 00:33:06,502 Speaker 1: It's literally the same thing. The issues and the policies 691 00:33:06,582 --> 00:33:08,782 Speaker 1: and the vibe that gets people out to vote has 692 00:33:08,862 --> 00:33:09,461 Speaker 1: to be extreme. 693 00:33:09,702 --> 00:33:11,542 Speaker 3: It's what I remember Holly saying that it has to 694 00:33:11,622 --> 00:33:15,221 Speaker 3: be presented as existential as this is the last election, 695 00:33:15,542 --> 00:33:16,502 Speaker 3: get off your bum. 696 00:33:16,462 --> 00:33:20,222 Speaker 1: And whereas in Australia, in most countries the vast majority 697 00:33:20,262 --> 00:33:22,782 Speaker 1: of people are in the middle are basically centrist. They're 698 00:33:22,822 --> 00:33:25,382 Speaker 1: not extreme left or extreme right. We also don't have 699 00:33:25,542 --> 00:33:26,302 Speaker 1: everyone vote. 700 00:33:26,582 --> 00:33:28,862 Speaker 3: Yeah, we also don't have the far right component. We 701 00:33:28,942 --> 00:33:31,662 Speaker 3: don't have fifty states. I think that that totally changes 702 00:33:31,862 --> 00:33:35,902 Speaker 3: our like we're obsessed with American politics culturally, I think. 703 00:33:36,382 --> 00:33:39,782 Speaker 3: But it is naive to suggest that it is going 704 00:33:39,902 --> 00:33:42,622 Speaker 3: to sort of infiltrate. I think how this. 705 00:33:42,742 --> 00:33:43,742 Speaker 2: Election is run. 706 00:33:44,702 --> 00:33:46,782 Speaker 3: I think that this not so sure. You know, you 707 00:33:46,902 --> 00:33:49,862 Speaker 3: know what it might infiltrate. It doesn't work. I do 708 00:33:50,022 --> 00:33:52,382 Speaker 3: not think it works. And let's remember that Clive Palmer, 709 00:33:52,382 --> 00:33:55,421 Speaker 3: who has already run on make Australia great Again since 710 00:33:55,542 --> 00:33:58,302 Speaker 3: twenty sixteen, are worked for Trump. He spent more than 711 00:33:58,302 --> 00:34:00,982 Speaker 3: one hundred and twenty million dollars to secure one seat 712 00:34:01,182 --> 00:34:01,702 Speaker 3: in parliament. 713 00:34:01,742 --> 00:34:02,662 Speaker 1: He's just not the vibe. 714 00:34:02,862 --> 00:34:04,342 Speaker 3: He's not the vibe. 715 00:34:04,422 --> 00:34:07,502 Speaker 2: The most Trumpian thing about Clive Palmer in many ways 716 00:34:07,782 --> 00:34:10,262 Speaker 2: is his exaggeration of his own success right because he 717 00:34:10,382 --> 00:34:12,462 Speaker 2: is a very rich man. He is a proper billionaire. 718 00:34:12,542 --> 00:34:16,301 Speaker 2: He's not pretending. But he has been trying to win 719 00:34:16,702 --> 00:34:20,822 Speaker 2: serious Australian political influence for a decade and he has failed. 720 00:34:20,942 --> 00:34:24,622 Speaker 2: Clive Palmer, Yeah, Clive Palmer has, and so he would 721 00:34:24,701 --> 00:34:26,701 Speaker 2: have to go much much harder at it than he 722 00:34:26,902 --> 00:34:30,181 Speaker 2: is at the moment with his trumpet whatever, I mean, 723 00:34:30,261 --> 00:34:35,901 Speaker 2: god trumpet of patriots. But I'm a very strong It's 724 00:34:35,902 --> 00:34:37,661 Speaker 2: so funny because when I came here from England, which 725 00:34:37,701 --> 00:34:39,461 Speaker 2: is a very long time ago now, and I thought 726 00:34:39,502 --> 00:34:43,821 Speaker 2: that mandatory voting was unbelievable, Like my head nearly fell off. 727 00:34:43,862 --> 00:34:45,421 Speaker 2: I was like that it was bad. Yeah, I've never 728 00:34:45,542 --> 00:34:47,301 Speaker 2: even heard of it. I've never heard of such a thing. 729 00:34:47,342 --> 00:34:49,062 Speaker 2: There aren't very many places you to have it. 730 00:34:49,102 --> 00:34:50,861 Speaker 1: An American in this horrified and. 731 00:34:50,902 --> 00:34:53,142 Speaker 2: I actually thought it was probably quite bad for politics 732 00:34:53,181 --> 00:34:56,302 Speaker 2: because I used to think, oh, you know, people aren't informed, 733 00:34:56,342 --> 00:34:57,982 Speaker 2: but they have to vote. You know, they don't care, 734 00:34:58,062 --> 00:35:00,582 Speaker 2: but they have to vote. And now thirty years down 735 00:35:00,622 --> 00:35:02,902 Speaker 2: the line, I've been here nearly thirty years, I'm like, 736 00:35:03,542 --> 00:35:06,661 Speaker 2: that's great. The fact that you don't have to exercise 737 00:35:06,701 --> 00:35:08,942 Speaker 2: the edges exactly how you just explained it is brilliant. 738 00:35:09,542 --> 00:35:12,901 Speaker 2: But I don't think there is any argument that there 739 00:35:13,062 --> 00:35:15,341 Speaker 2: is a lot of hate to be made from dividing people. 740 00:35:15,462 --> 00:35:18,622 Speaker 2: And in Australia we do have similar divisions between the 741 00:35:19,181 --> 00:35:23,462 Speaker 2: metro people and the regional people. Country Australia, which is 742 00:35:23,502 --> 00:35:25,902 Speaker 2: the real Australia. Who are the real Australians? And we 743 00:35:26,062 --> 00:35:30,381 Speaker 2: saw it in the campaign for the Indigenous referendum. Voice 744 00:35:30,422 --> 00:35:34,382 Speaker 2: to Parliament working those divisions can be quite successful. So, 745 00:35:34,502 --> 00:35:36,741 Speaker 2: although I agree with you, Jesse, I don't think that 746 00:35:36,942 --> 00:35:40,781 Speaker 2: Palmer's the vibe. I'm not quite so optimistic that we're 747 00:35:40,862 --> 00:35:42,222 Speaker 2: not susceptible to that division. 748 00:35:42,542 --> 00:35:45,301 Speaker 1: The election is set to be announced soon. There's been 749 00:35:45,382 --> 00:35:47,261 Speaker 1: rumors that it's going to be announced any day and 750 00:35:47,342 --> 00:35:49,181 Speaker 1: that maybe the election will be before Easter. 751 00:35:49,342 --> 00:35:51,582 Speaker 2: You know what I'm worried about very selfishly, Well, if 752 00:35:51,622 --> 00:35:53,302 Speaker 2: it's on the day we do one of our shows, 753 00:35:53,622 --> 00:35:55,821 Speaker 2: I mean we will have time to go and vote. 754 00:35:57,102 --> 00:35:59,221 Speaker 2: What if the result comes in while we're on stageh 755 00:35:59,382 --> 00:36:00,261 Speaker 2: that not just be fun? 756 00:36:00,582 --> 00:36:00,821 Speaker 4: Okay? 757 00:36:01,302 --> 00:36:03,181 Speaker 2: Could we be likely sales out of bell Crab like 758 00:36:03,261 --> 00:36:05,702 Speaker 2: on the stage calling it Yeah, yeah. 759 00:36:05,582 --> 00:36:07,942 Speaker 1: We will bags you be Anthony Green Jesse. 760 00:36:10,181 --> 00:36:13,742 Speaker 3: In a moment. There are seven different types of Flakes, 761 00:36:14,181 --> 00:36:14,741 Speaker 3: which one is. 762 00:36:14,781 --> 00:36:18,981 Speaker 2: Maya one unlimited out loud access. We drop episodes every 763 00:36:19,062 --> 00:36:23,382 Speaker 2: Tuesday and Thursday exclusively for Mamma Mia subscribers. Follow the 764 00:36:23,422 --> 00:36:25,022 Speaker 2: link at the show notes to get us in your 765 00:36:25,062 --> 00:36:28,142 Speaker 2: ears five days a week, and a huge thank you 766 00:36:28,342 --> 00:36:30,142 Speaker 2: to all our current subscribers. 767 00:36:36,422 --> 00:36:40,261 Speaker 1: Counseling plans is so hot right now. Last week I 768 00:36:40,422 --> 00:36:42,502 Speaker 1: tried to cancel a dinner because it was raining. 769 00:36:42,902 --> 00:36:43,422 Speaker 2: How did that go? 770 00:36:44,982 --> 00:36:47,542 Speaker 1: The person I tried to cancel told me that I 771 00:36:47,661 --> 00:36:50,462 Speaker 1: was pathetic and did you go? I went good and 772 00:36:50,542 --> 00:36:53,742 Speaker 1: I had a great time. Glad I didn't cancel. Everyone's lonely. 773 00:36:53,862 --> 00:36:55,821 Speaker 1: But when it comes to actually leaving the house, how 774 00:36:55,862 --> 00:36:58,142 Speaker 1: come nobody can be bothered to follow through on the 775 00:36:58,261 --> 00:37:01,102 Speaker 1: arrangement they made in a flood of social enthusiasm last 776 00:37:01,142 --> 00:37:05,822 Speaker 1: week after their second coffee. Stylus dot com recently posted 777 00:37:05,862 --> 00:37:10,262 Speaker 1: a story by writer Shahed Azadi about the psychology behind 778 00:37:10,582 --> 00:37:13,342 Speaker 1: the seven different types of flake, and I guarantee that 779 00:37:13,382 --> 00:37:16,062 Speaker 1: you will recognize yourself or the flakes in your life 780 00:37:16,142 --> 00:37:19,821 Speaker 1: from the following list. First one, the relationship flake. This 781 00:37:19,982 --> 00:37:23,302 Speaker 1: is the kind of flake that cancels because of reasons 782 00:37:23,382 --> 00:37:26,582 Speaker 1: or plans with their partner. Their partner will always come first. 783 00:37:26,902 --> 00:37:28,342 Speaker 3: I find that flake very annoying. 784 00:37:28,502 --> 00:37:29,422 Speaker 2: Yeah, strange. 785 00:37:29,582 --> 00:37:31,902 Speaker 1: Second type is the work flake. They're always working in. 786 00:37:31,982 --> 00:37:33,341 Speaker 1: Work will always be prioritized. 787 00:37:33,382 --> 00:37:34,301 Speaker 2: I'm sure we've all been that. 788 00:37:34,982 --> 00:37:38,022 Speaker 1: The last minute flake. This is my jam. They have 789 00:37:38,181 --> 00:37:41,062 Speaker 1: something called present bias, so they commit to plans when 790 00:37:41,102 --> 00:37:44,102 Speaker 1: they feel excited and like it's a good idea, but 791 00:37:44,181 --> 00:37:46,382 Speaker 1: then they struggle with those plans when they're faced with 792 00:37:46,462 --> 00:37:48,781 Speaker 1: the immediate cognitive load of following. 793 00:37:48,502 --> 00:37:50,542 Speaker 2: Through on the You know what's great about the last 794 00:37:50,582 --> 00:37:53,542 Speaker 2: minute flake is that sometimes if I'm at a social 795 00:37:53,582 --> 00:37:56,102 Speaker 2: event where me is meant to come, I never think 796 00:37:56,142 --> 00:37:58,301 Speaker 2: she's gonna come. I think she's going to last minute flake, 797 00:37:58,701 --> 00:38:01,301 Speaker 2: and then sometimes she just turns up and it's like 798 00:38:01,382 --> 00:38:03,982 Speaker 2: a wonderful surprise. I remember when we were going to 799 00:38:04,062 --> 00:38:05,741 Speaker 2: something at the Opera House and we were having dinner 800 00:38:05,781 --> 00:38:08,221 Speaker 2: before and I was like, Mia is never coming to 801 00:38:08,302 --> 00:38:11,701 Speaker 2: this restaurant. Too many steps, too many steps, too much, 802 00:38:12,062 --> 00:38:13,901 Speaker 2: she will never find a park, it's not going to happen. 803 00:38:14,102 --> 00:38:15,301 Speaker 2: And then she just materialized. 804 00:38:15,302 --> 00:38:17,142 Speaker 1: It was like a little tree. I have a lot 805 00:38:17,181 --> 00:38:19,862 Speaker 1: of stern words with myself because I'm trying to deflake 806 00:38:20,022 --> 00:38:23,261 Speaker 1: and I'm trying to be more present, so I've got 807 00:38:23,342 --> 00:38:26,301 Speaker 1: like a show up thing anyway. Number four this is 808 00:38:26,302 --> 00:38:29,661 Speaker 1: also sometimes me the forgetful flake. This flake relies on 809 00:38:29,822 --> 00:38:32,142 Speaker 1: the other person either forgetting that you've made the plan, 810 00:38:32,822 --> 00:38:36,022 Speaker 1: or hoping that the planned hangout is forgotten so that 811 00:38:36,542 --> 00:38:39,862 Speaker 1: no excuses are necessary. Preemptive flake is someone who's so 812 00:38:40,062 --> 00:38:43,102 Speaker 1: proceeds of bailing a few days out they start complaining 813 00:38:43,181 --> 00:38:46,502 Speaker 1: of feeling tired, run down, or busy at work. That's 814 00:38:46,582 --> 00:38:49,622 Speaker 1: not me, because that's someone with a lot of just 815 00:38:49,741 --> 00:38:53,381 Speaker 1: say no yes. I think this is possibly you two 816 00:38:53,462 --> 00:38:56,821 Speaker 1: definitely number six the people pleasing flake, and this is 817 00:38:56,862 --> 00:38:58,941 Speaker 1: people who say yes to plans to make everyone happy, 818 00:38:58,982 --> 00:39:00,221 Speaker 1: but there's no way they can do it all, so 819 00:39:00,302 --> 00:39:01,302 Speaker 1: they have to flake. 820 00:39:01,502 --> 00:39:04,901 Speaker 3: Yeah. So I will say yes in the moment. Two 821 00:39:04,982 --> 00:39:05,901 Speaker 3: plans on Monday night. 822 00:39:06,102 --> 00:39:11,022 Speaker 2: Yes, and then I go, hmmm, something to work that. 823 00:39:11,422 --> 00:39:13,582 Speaker 1: So you'll say yes because you don't want to disappoint 824 00:39:13,622 --> 00:39:16,422 Speaker 1: someone in the moment. And sometimes do you always know 825 00:39:16,542 --> 00:39:17,701 Speaker 1: that you're going to cancel before it? 826 00:39:18,022 --> 00:39:18,701 Speaker 2: Yes, you do. 827 00:39:18,942 --> 00:39:21,181 Speaker 3: I know that I've got to and then ultimately you 828 00:39:21,342 --> 00:39:22,981 Speaker 3: just let them down ten times more than you would 829 00:39:22,982 --> 00:39:23,701 Speaker 3: have in the first place. 830 00:39:23,822 --> 00:39:24,701 Speaker 2: Yeah, which is your fear. 831 00:39:25,622 --> 00:39:28,261 Speaker 1: And the last one, seventh type of flake is the 832 00:39:28,422 --> 00:39:31,701 Speaker 1: upgrade flake. This is a flake you'll see a lot 833 00:39:32,022 --> 00:39:34,422 Speaker 1: around news eve. They say yes to plans with you, 834 00:39:34,502 --> 00:39:37,062 Speaker 1: but they keep an eye out for better options always. 835 00:39:37,221 --> 00:39:38,862 Speaker 2: Ye, Mia, I've got a bone to pick with you. 836 00:39:38,902 --> 00:39:41,062 Speaker 2: A bit of feedback about your flakiness. It's not actually 837 00:39:41,102 --> 00:39:43,862 Speaker 2: about the flakingness. It's about because MEA's she's the opposite 838 00:39:43,862 --> 00:39:44,862 Speaker 2: of the people please a flake. 839 00:39:44,942 --> 00:39:45,062 Speaker 4: Right. 840 00:39:45,142 --> 00:39:50,342 Speaker 2: So Mia wrote a newsletter recently, maybe I was feeling sensitive. 841 00:39:50,422 --> 00:39:52,262 Speaker 2: I was like, fuck sake, Maya. When I read. 842 00:39:54,142 --> 00:39:55,382 Speaker 1: Anyone that I had that reaction. 843 00:39:55,942 --> 00:39:58,261 Speaker 2: It was I've got a new way to say no 844 00:39:58,382 --> 00:40:00,142 Speaker 2: to plans, to things I don't want to do. And 845 00:40:00,302 --> 00:40:02,261 Speaker 2: I think the subject line would have been better than that, 846 00:40:02,261 --> 00:40:04,741 Speaker 2: because you're a good writer. But it was basically that 847 00:40:04,822 --> 00:40:07,741 Speaker 2: when someone asks you to do something, you just say, 848 00:40:07,902 --> 00:40:08,741 Speaker 2: oh no, I'd hate that. 849 00:40:10,142 --> 00:40:11,542 Speaker 1: Yeah, oh know, I'd hate that. 850 00:40:11,781 --> 00:40:15,661 Speaker 2: That is so offensive and so very levels. 851 00:40:15,982 --> 00:40:18,502 Speaker 1: Because can I explain I got a liverit that that's 852 00:40:18,582 --> 00:40:21,781 Speaker 1: highly advanced. That's highly advanced preflaking. 853 00:40:22,181 --> 00:40:25,542 Speaker 2: That is like an aggressive, aggressive flake because no, it 854 00:40:25,622 --> 00:40:27,342 Speaker 2: doesn't just say I don't want to do it. It 855 00:40:27,462 --> 00:40:30,181 Speaker 2: kind of says you must be crazy for wanting to 856 00:40:30,302 --> 00:40:33,181 Speaker 2: do that and for thinking, even for a moment, that 857 00:40:33,342 --> 00:40:34,102 Speaker 2: I want to do that. 858 00:40:34,462 --> 00:40:36,582 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's very hard because there's a bit of shame 859 00:40:36,701 --> 00:40:38,821 Speaker 1: in that place. Yes in that response, isn't there? 860 00:40:38,982 --> 00:40:40,741 Speaker 2: And then the other part of my worry is like, 861 00:40:40,781 --> 00:40:43,661 Speaker 2: I've got some concern trolling about it for you. What 862 00:40:43,822 --> 00:40:46,982 Speaker 2: if you think you'd hate it but you wouldn't, because 863 00:40:47,261 --> 00:40:49,901 Speaker 2: I worry that sometimes when you were very rigid about 864 00:40:49,982 --> 00:40:52,142 Speaker 2: I don't do those things, like I don't do Monday 865 00:40:52,221 --> 00:40:54,261 Speaker 2: night drinks or I don't do you. She used to 866 00:40:54,302 --> 00:40:55,622 Speaker 2: be I don't do red carpets. 867 00:40:55,862 --> 00:40:56,221 Speaker 1: I don't. 868 00:40:56,342 --> 00:40:58,102 Speaker 2: Then she went to the logis, yeah, she did a 869 00:40:58,142 --> 00:41:00,261 Speaker 2: red carpet every week, but I hate it still. But 870 00:41:00,422 --> 00:41:02,502 Speaker 2: you went to another one and you were like, actually 871 00:41:02,582 --> 00:41:05,582 Speaker 2: that was fun. So what about breaking out of rigiditity? 872 00:41:05,982 --> 00:41:08,701 Speaker 1: You're right, and sometimes you need to just get over 873 00:41:08,741 --> 00:41:11,022 Speaker 1: yourself and show up. Sometimes you just got to show 874 00:41:11,102 --> 00:41:14,221 Speaker 1: up when it's hurtful to someone else, Like I think 875 00:41:14,261 --> 00:41:15,382 Speaker 1: it's important to show up. 876 00:41:15,661 --> 00:41:18,582 Speaker 3: Twice yesterday I tried to convince people to come to 877 00:41:18,661 --> 00:41:21,342 Speaker 3: an escape room with me. She's different social situations, and 878 00:41:21,422 --> 00:41:24,982 Speaker 3: twice they said along the words of oh, no, i'd 879 00:41:25,022 --> 00:41:27,582 Speaker 3: hate that and starting a movement. Guys, I found myself 880 00:41:27,741 --> 00:41:32,821 Speaker 3: becoming a paid sponsor of escape rooms. And I got 881 00:41:32,942 --> 00:41:33,782 Speaker 3: home and I went. 882 00:41:33,661 --> 00:41:35,902 Speaker 1: Because it's then you take it as a challenge and 883 00:41:35,982 --> 00:41:37,381 Speaker 1: you're like, I'm going to convince. 884 00:41:37,142 --> 00:41:39,301 Speaker 3: You escape rooms are actually really fun. 885 00:41:39,382 --> 00:41:42,102 Speaker 2: Have you found anyone to go to an escape room? Only? Luca? 886 00:41:42,181 --> 00:41:44,821 Speaker 3: And it's just too sad. I am actually reformed for 887 00:41:44,942 --> 00:41:46,982 Speaker 3: like I have managed to reform it. 888 00:41:47,342 --> 00:41:50,381 Speaker 1: You go out a lot. That's true because what changed. 889 00:41:50,142 --> 00:41:55,661 Speaker 3: I was in my I reckon early twenties, so unreliable, 890 00:41:56,221 --> 00:41:58,542 Speaker 3: so like, and that was the I realized that that 891 00:41:58,622 --> 00:42:01,382 Speaker 3: was a reputation I was getting, letting people down with 892 00:42:01,462 --> 00:42:03,062 Speaker 3: something I did all the time because of the people 893 00:42:03,062 --> 00:42:07,261 Speaker 3: pleasing element. I wasn't organized in a diary and I 894 00:42:07,502 --> 00:42:13,102 Speaker 3: saw it seriously people's feelings and someone who needed to 895 00:42:13,142 --> 00:42:14,941 Speaker 3: hang out because something was going on in their lives. 896 00:42:15,062 --> 00:42:16,982 Speaker 3: I wasn't there, and you don't come back from that. 897 00:42:17,261 --> 00:42:19,221 Speaker 1: It's a bit like sex as well, like sometimes you 898 00:42:19,342 --> 00:42:20,902 Speaker 1: just don't feel like it, like the thought of it. 899 00:42:20,982 --> 00:42:23,142 Speaker 1: You're like, I don't know, I'd hate that. Oh no, 900 00:42:23,181 --> 00:42:27,142 Speaker 1: I'd hate that, you think to yourself, But then you 901 00:42:27,542 --> 00:42:28,301 Speaker 1: have a great time. 902 00:42:28,661 --> 00:42:33,741 Speaker 6: I want what I want us to find this many 903 00:42:33,862 --> 00:42:40,102 Speaker 6: ways to answer the question with oh no. This week's 904 00:42:40,221 --> 00:42:42,382 Speaker 6: challenge for everybody. 905 00:42:41,982 --> 00:42:49,781 Speaker 5: Involved with that loud Okay, massive thank you to all 906 00:42:49,862 --> 00:42:52,741 Speaker 5: of the out louders who didn't say oh no, I'd 907 00:42:52,781 --> 00:42:55,701 Speaker 5: hate that when it came to pressing play on today's show, 908 00:42:56,102 --> 00:42:58,422 Speaker 5: and of course to a fabulous scene for putting it together. 909 00:42:58,462 --> 00:43:01,421 Speaker 2: We're going to be back in your ears tomorrow. Goodbye bye. 910 00:43:02,862 --> 00:43:05,302 Speaker 3: Shout out to any Mum and Me are subscribers listening. 911 00:43:05,622 --> 00:43:07,701 Speaker 3: If you love the show and you want to support us, 912 00:43:08,022 --> 00:43:10,462 Speaker 3: subscribing to Mom and Me I is the very best 913 00:43:10,542 --> 00:43:13,382 Speaker 3: way to do so. There's a link in the episode description.