1 00:00:10,614 --> 00:00:15,294 Speaker 1: You're listening to a Mumma Mea podcast. Mumma Mea acknowledges 2 00:00:15,334 --> 00:00:18,134 Speaker 1: the traditional owners of land and waters that this podcast 3 00:00:18,214 --> 00:00:18,894 Speaker 1: is recorded on. 4 00:00:21,614 --> 00:00:21,814 Speaker 2: Hi. 5 00:00:21,974 --> 00:00:24,694 Speaker 1: I'm Claire Murphy. This is the summer series of Mumma 6 00:00:24,734 --> 00:00:28,294 Speaker 1: MEA's twice daily news podcast for Quickie. The end of 7 00:00:28,374 --> 00:00:31,854 Speaker 1: the year is full of excess. We buy lots of stuff, 8 00:00:31,934 --> 00:00:34,894 Speaker 1: we eat loads of food, and for many Aussies the 9 00:00:34,974 --> 00:00:37,574 Speaker 1: number of alcoholic drinks can also spike a bit this 10 00:00:37,654 --> 00:00:40,614 Speaker 1: time of year too. Today we meet three women who 11 00:00:40,654 --> 00:00:43,734 Speaker 1: actually gave up drinking, all in very different ways, and 12 00:00:43,774 --> 00:00:46,494 Speaker 1: so that they have never felt better now that booze 13 00:00:46,494 --> 00:00:49,334 Speaker 1: doesn't dictate their social existence. We find out whether one 14 00:00:49,374 --> 00:00:59,614 Speaker 1: of these ways could also help you. Traditionally, in Australia, 15 00:00:59,774 --> 00:01:02,174 Speaker 1: men have been more likely to engage in risky drinking 16 00:01:02,174 --> 00:01:05,134 Speaker 1: behaviors and women, but the gap between male and female 17 00:01:05,214 --> 00:01:10,054 Speaker 1: drinking patterns is again narrowing, especially amongst younger ages groups 18 00:01:10,254 --> 00:01:12,534 Speaker 1: who had been bucking the trend in drinking less in 19 00:01:12,574 --> 00:01:16,254 Speaker 1: recent years. In twenty twenty two to twenty three, forty 20 00:01:16,294 --> 00:01:19,534 Speaker 1: percent of women aged eighteen to twenty four consumed alcohol 21 00:01:19,574 --> 00:01:22,534 Speaker 1: at risky levels, compared to forty five percent of men 22 00:01:22,574 --> 00:01:25,774 Speaker 1: in the same age group now. This marks a significant 23 00:01:25,774 --> 00:01:28,934 Speaker 1: increase from thirty five percent in twenty nineteen for young women, 24 00:01:29,294 --> 00:01:32,054 Speaker 1: while the rate for young men has remained relatively stable. 25 00:01:32,894 --> 00:01:35,854 Speaker 1: Even more concerning is a rise in alcohol consumption among 26 00:01:35,934 --> 00:01:39,334 Speaker 1: high school aged girls. The percentage aged fourteen to seventeen 27 00:01:39,374 --> 00:01:42,854 Speaker 1: who reported recent alcohol use jumped from twenty eight percent 28 00:01:42,934 --> 00:01:46,214 Speaker 1: in twenty nineteen to thirty five percent in twenty twenty 29 00:01:46,214 --> 00:01:50,214 Speaker 1: two to twenty three. Overall, about thirty one percent of 30 00:01:50,214 --> 00:01:53,134 Speaker 1: ossies are drinking at risky levels, with approximately one in 31 00:01:53,254 --> 00:01:57,014 Speaker 1: four reporting consuming more than ten standard drinks per week 32 00:01:57,094 --> 00:02:00,254 Speaker 1: on average. The same proportion admitted to having more than 33 00:02:00,294 --> 00:02:02,814 Speaker 1: four standard drinks in a single day at least once 34 00:02:02,854 --> 00:02:06,134 Speaker 1: a month, and with the end of year celebration period 35 00:02:06,134 --> 00:02:08,974 Speaker 1: on the horizon, this time of year presents a unique 36 00:02:08,974 --> 00:02:11,774 Speaker 1: set of channel lenges when it comes to alcohol consumption. 37 00:02:12,974 --> 00:02:16,774 Speaker 1: Research shows the last working day before Christmas marks the 38 00:02:16,814 --> 00:02:20,414 Speaker 1: beginning of a sustained increase in alcohol related harm, with 39 00:02:20,494 --> 00:02:23,974 Speaker 1: a fifty percent rise in ambulance attendances for alcohol intoxication 40 00:02:24,214 --> 00:02:27,854 Speaker 1: on that day alone. New Year's e represents the peak 41 00:02:27,854 --> 00:02:30,934 Speaker 1: of the trend, with a seven fold increase in ambulance attendances, 42 00:02:31,214 --> 00:02:34,614 Speaker 1: a six fold increase in emergency presentations, and a five 43 00:02:34,654 --> 00:02:39,014 Speaker 1: fold increase in hospital admissions for acute intoxication. The day 44 00:02:39,214 --> 00:02:43,814 Speaker 1: afternoon Year's Day sees alcohol intoxication related ambulance attendances increase 45 00:02:43,974 --> 00:02:48,534 Speaker 1: by seventy five percent and emergency presentations by fifty percent 46 00:02:48,614 --> 00:02:52,494 Speaker 1: compared to the average. The reasons behind the increasing rates 47 00:02:52,494 --> 00:02:56,294 Speaker 1: of risky drinking amongst women are complex and not fully understood. 48 00:02:56,694 --> 00:02:59,934 Speaker 1: Some experts point to changing social norms and the alcohol 49 00:02:59,974 --> 00:03:04,814 Speaker 1: industry's targeted marketing towards women. Caterina Georgie, Cee of the 50 00:03:04,814 --> 00:03:08,574 Speaker 1: Foundation for Alcohol Research and Education, notes that alcohol companies 51 00:03:08,614 --> 00:03:13,094 Speaker 1: are deliberately targeting younger women with products marketed as healthy 52 00:03:13,134 --> 00:03:17,334 Speaker 1: alternatives to regular alcohol. The pandemic also played a role 53 00:03:17,414 --> 00:03:20,734 Speaker 1: in disrupting positive trends in alcohol consumption. Prior to the 54 00:03:20,774 --> 00:03:23,974 Speaker 1: COVID outbreak, there was a general decline in risky drinking, 55 00:03:24,094 --> 00:03:28,494 Speaker 1: particularly amongst young people. However, the pandemic has at best 56 00:03:28,654 --> 00:03:32,254 Speaker 1: halted those games and at worst reversed them, especially amongst 57 00:03:32,294 --> 00:03:34,574 Speaker 1: young women. So how do we get on top of 58 00:03:34,614 --> 00:03:36,854 Speaker 1: it If we think we might be falling into that 59 00:03:36,934 --> 00:03:40,254 Speaker 1: risky category. Catho Brian is the co host of The 60 00:03:40,374 --> 00:03:43,334 Speaker 1: Changes podcast Now. She started drinking alcohol when she was 61 00:03:43,374 --> 00:03:45,694 Speaker 1: around fifteen, feeling like it was a way she could 62 00:03:45,734 --> 00:03:48,254 Speaker 1: fit in with the crowd, and after experiencing some bullying 63 00:03:48,294 --> 00:03:50,414 Speaker 1: at a previous school, didn't want to be the one 64 00:03:50,414 --> 00:03:52,974 Speaker 1: who said no. She says it progressed from there. 65 00:03:53,414 --> 00:03:57,534 Speaker 2: My first HC exam was Melbourne Cup Day. I went 66 00:03:57,574 --> 00:04:02,214 Speaker 2: straight from my English exam to the Miranda RSL from 67 00:04:02,254 --> 00:04:05,894 Speaker 2: Melbourne Cup lunch to get drunk. I was very much 68 00:04:05,934 --> 00:04:11,374 Speaker 2: a pass out, blackout, binge drinker. It was maybe one 69 00:04:11,454 --> 00:04:13,654 Speaker 2: or two nights a week where I didn't drink, but 70 00:04:14,334 --> 00:04:16,534 Speaker 2: pretty much every night of the week I was having 71 00:04:16,534 --> 00:04:16,934 Speaker 2: a drink. 72 00:04:17,774 --> 00:04:20,534 Speaker 1: Katz started a family and really struggled through her pregnancies. 73 00:04:20,654 --> 00:04:22,734 Speaker 1: Now she would later find out that her drinking had 74 00:04:22,734 --> 00:04:25,654 Speaker 1: actually done some damage and it would become more pronounced 75 00:04:25,694 --> 00:04:27,694 Speaker 1: after her body goes through the changes that come with 76 00:04:27,774 --> 00:04:28,494 Speaker 1: having a baby. 77 00:04:29,134 --> 00:04:33,774 Speaker 2: I couldn't even have a drink without starting to feel 78 00:04:34,094 --> 00:04:38,774 Speaker 2: really hungover, like starting to really sick. My liver had 79 00:04:38,854 --> 00:04:44,454 Speaker 2: developed an intolerance to alcohol, so it was pretty easy 80 00:04:44,494 --> 00:04:48,414 Speaker 2: for me to stop because it made me feel very unwell. 81 00:04:48,574 --> 00:04:50,894 Speaker 2: It certainly didn't take the edge off the way it 82 00:04:51,214 --> 00:04:54,054 Speaker 2: once had. It certainly didn't make me feel good in 83 00:04:54,134 --> 00:04:58,254 Speaker 2: the way that it once had. But that doesn't mean 84 00:04:58,294 --> 00:05:02,214 Speaker 2: that I stopped because I realized I had an unhealthy 85 00:05:02,254 --> 00:05:07,414 Speaker 2: relationship with alcohol. I stopped because it made me feel sick. 86 00:05:08,334 --> 00:05:10,174 Speaker 1: Cat says well, the impact of it alcohol in her 87 00:05:10,214 --> 00:05:12,894 Speaker 1: health was the catalyst for her to stop drinking. She 88 00:05:13,014 --> 00:05:15,454 Speaker 1: realized that there was much more to her dependence on 89 00:05:15,494 --> 00:05:17,374 Speaker 1: it than she knew, and the one thing that really 90 00:05:17,374 --> 00:05:19,374 Speaker 1: helped her get through it was therapy. 91 00:05:20,334 --> 00:05:23,534 Speaker 2: I needed to get help. I should have talked to somebody. 92 00:05:23,694 --> 00:05:25,974 Speaker 2: I should have said, Hey, this is what's going on 93 00:05:26,134 --> 00:05:30,254 Speaker 2: for me. I'm really lucky. I have a great mental 94 00:05:30,294 --> 00:05:34,854 Speaker 2: health team now, and I work with my psychologist, and 95 00:05:34,854 --> 00:05:37,054 Speaker 2: we've looked back and we talk about my drinking all 96 00:05:37,094 --> 00:05:40,894 Speaker 2: the time, my past drinking. But we look back over 97 00:05:40,934 --> 00:05:44,214 Speaker 2: that and there are times when I will go and 98 00:05:44,254 --> 00:05:46,894 Speaker 2: I'll see her and I'll be like, I just really 99 00:05:46,934 --> 00:05:48,414 Speaker 2: just feel like I want to have a drink, and 100 00:05:48,454 --> 00:05:49,574 Speaker 2: she's like, so I have one. 101 00:05:50,454 --> 00:05:53,254 Speaker 3: I was like, oh, and she's like, just have one. 102 00:05:53,734 --> 00:05:54,734 Speaker 3: Take the pressure off. 103 00:05:55,174 --> 00:05:58,334 Speaker 2: And her saying that to me, then all of a sudden, 104 00:05:58,454 --> 00:06:01,294 Speaker 2: the thought I need to have a drink disappears in 105 00:06:01,334 --> 00:06:05,214 Speaker 2: my head. But we talk about why did I drink? 106 00:06:05,294 --> 00:06:08,414 Speaker 2: What was I escaping from? And it was trying to 107 00:06:08,414 --> 00:06:10,734 Speaker 2: fit in. You know, I wanted to be the cool kid. 108 00:06:10,934 --> 00:06:15,934 Speaker 2: I wanted to just be liked, but really what at 109 00:06:15,974 --> 00:06:18,134 Speaker 2: the core of it, I needed to like myself. 110 00:06:19,454 --> 00:06:21,974 Speaker 1: And Chapel, the founder of the Mind the Seat app, 111 00:06:22,014 --> 00:06:24,374 Speaker 1: which helps you get a handle on drinking, didn't have 112 00:06:24,454 --> 00:06:26,334 Speaker 1: a moment that made her think about giving it up. 113 00:06:26,374 --> 00:06:27,894 Speaker 1: It ll just got a bit much. 114 00:06:28,534 --> 00:06:31,974 Speaker 4: It was just more that realization that alcohol was embedded 115 00:06:31,974 --> 00:06:36,454 Speaker 4: into every area of my life social catchups, book clubs, 116 00:06:37,094 --> 00:06:39,614 Speaker 4: good at work, badd at work. It didn't really matter 117 00:06:39,814 --> 00:06:43,454 Speaker 4: what the occasion was, alcohol always seemed to feature. And 118 00:06:43,494 --> 00:06:46,254 Speaker 4: I just wanted to really reassess how alcohol was showing 119 00:06:46,294 --> 00:06:48,854 Speaker 4: up in my life. And I was determined to break 120 00:06:48,894 --> 00:06:51,694 Speaker 4: that habit cycle of just always reaching for a wine 121 00:06:51,734 --> 00:06:54,574 Speaker 4: at the end of the day or centering my catchups 122 00:06:54,694 --> 00:06:56,054 Speaker 4: around cocktails. 123 00:06:56,454 --> 00:06:58,534 Speaker 1: Now she started to get mindful about how much she 124 00:06:58,654 --> 00:07:01,214 Speaker 1: was drinking, and it not only changed her life, it 125 00:07:01,294 --> 00:07:03,454 Speaker 1: led to her creating the app that would help herself 126 00:07:03,454 --> 00:07:04,134 Speaker 1: and others. 127 00:07:04,694 --> 00:07:07,894 Speaker 4: When I first decided to reassess my relationship with alcohol. 128 00:07:08,374 --> 00:07:11,614 Speaker 4: I wasn't aiming to eliminate it completely. I just wanted 129 00:07:11,654 --> 00:07:15,974 Speaker 4: to regain control and drink mindfully. So my initial goal 130 00:07:16,094 --> 00:07:19,094 Speaker 4: was simple cut back by fifty percent. So instead of 131 00:07:19,134 --> 00:07:21,934 Speaker 4: having two margaritas and two glasses of wine on a 132 00:07:22,014 --> 00:07:24,894 Speaker 4: night out, I would reduce it to one margarita and 133 00:07:24,934 --> 00:07:27,414 Speaker 4: one wine and fill in the gaps with sparkling water 134 00:07:27,574 --> 00:07:32,854 Speaker 4: or alcohol free alternatives. So once that became comfortable drinking less, 135 00:07:32,854 --> 00:07:35,174 Speaker 4: I decided to take it a step further. What if 136 00:07:35,174 --> 00:07:37,214 Speaker 4: I didn't drink it all on nights out? And began 137 00:07:37,334 --> 00:07:42,214 Speaker 4: challenging myself to alcohol free nights, alcohol free weekends. So 138 00:07:42,334 --> 00:07:44,734 Speaker 4: I realized I didn't need as much alcohol as I 139 00:07:44,774 --> 00:07:48,814 Speaker 4: thought I did, and the tools I used to get there, 140 00:07:49,374 --> 00:07:52,334 Speaker 4: I thought they could be really valuable for others. So 141 00:07:52,414 --> 00:07:55,054 Speaker 4: I went about creating the app so people had those 142 00:07:55,094 --> 00:07:58,414 Speaker 4: tools and resources excessively. The act of writing it down 143 00:07:58,494 --> 00:08:02,214 Speaker 4: forced me to pause and reflect and make conscious choices. 144 00:08:02,854 --> 00:08:05,854 Speaker 4: I also manually journaled how I was feeling. 145 00:08:06,414 --> 00:08:09,534 Speaker 1: Tracking her alcohol consumption made her realize some pretty hard 146 00:08:09,614 --> 00:08:12,974 Speaker 1: truths about what it means to drink. Laying it all there. 147 00:08:13,214 --> 00:08:15,454 Speaker 4: When I was saying to you earlier that I used 148 00:08:15,454 --> 00:08:18,454 Speaker 4: to have two margaritas and two glasses of red on 149 00:08:18,494 --> 00:08:21,654 Speaker 4: a night out. In my mind that was four drinks, 150 00:08:21,934 --> 00:08:24,214 Speaker 4: but an actual fact, when you put it into the 151 00:08:24,254 --> 00:08:29,214 Speaker 4: standard drinks calculator, it's nine point two standard drinks, which 152 00:08:29,254 --> 00:08:33,454 Speaker 4: is close to the weekly recommendation of ten standard drinks. 153 00:08:33,934 --> 00:08:37,494 Speaker 4: So that realization of how much you are actually consuming 154 00:08:37,814 --> 00:08:40,814 Speaker 4: has helped so many people versus what you think you're 155 00:08:40,854 --> 00:08:42,054 Speaker 4: consuming now. 156 00:08:41,934 --> 00:08:44,094 Speaker 1: Something And says really helped her too. Is something kath 157 00:08:44,254 --> 00:08:48,014 Speaker 1: also touched on. It is asking yourself why you drink. 158 00:08:48,534 --> 00:08:51,614 Speaker 4: What started for me as just wanting to cut back 159 00:08:51,614 --> 00:08:56,574 Speaker 4: and drink mindfully over time has developed into this alcohol 160 00:08:56,654 --> 00:09:02,454 Speaker 4: free lifestyle. The biggest part of that was understanding my 161 00:09:02,534 --> 00:09:06,934 Speaker 4: emotions behind the drinking habits. This is of great importance. 162 00:09:07,014 --> 00:09:10,534 Speaker 4: So when people have that urge to reach for a drink, 163 00:09:11,214 --> 00:09:15,014 Speaker 4: it's asking yourself, what am I trying to feel right now? 164 00:09:15,494 --> 00:09:17,974 Speaker 4: What is it that my body is trying to tell 165 00:09:18,014 --> 00:09:20,094 Speaker 4: me that isn't just reach for a wine? 166 00:09:20,134 --> 00:09:21,734 Speaker 3: Are you stressed? Are you bored? 167 00:09:22,094 --> 00:09:25,414 Speaker 4: What do you need? And this has been the biggest takeaway. Honestly, 168 00:09:25,974 --> 00:09:29,294 Speaker 4: do I need a walk, a hot shower, a cuppa, 169 00:09:29,454 --> 00:09:32,214 Speaker 4: a chat with the girlfriend, a hug. Being able to 170 00:09:32,374 --> 00:09:34,814 Speaker 4: really zone in to what it is my body is 171 00:09:34,854 --> 00:09:37,134 Speaker 4: asking for has been the biggest gift. 172 00:09:38,014 --> 00:09:40,774 Speaker 1: Drinking culture is everywhere in Australia, but if you've ever 173 00:09:40,814 --> 00:09:43,614 Speaker 1: lived in regional or remote Australia, it can be even 174 00:09:43,654 --> 00:09:47,054 Speaker 1: more prevalent, with nearly every occasion centered around it. Just 175 00:09:47,174 --> 00:09:49,934 Speaker 1: as an example, when I lived in regional Essay, the 176 00:09:49,974 --> 00:09:53,214 Speaker 1: local football team won the premiership and the publicans allowed 177 00:09:53,254 --> 00:09:56,734 Speaker 1: the team to continue drinking after they officially closed. In fact, 178 00:09:56,894 --> 00:09:58,734 Speaker 1: they were still out when we all got up for 179 00:09:58,814 --> 00:10:02,094 Speaker 1: work on Monday morning. They've been drinking since Saturday afternoon. 180 00:10:02,334 --> 00:10:04,854 Speaker 1: Now this was something they wore with pride, a badge 181 00:10:04,854 --> 00:10:08,814 Speaker 1: of honor. Shanawan is a rural woman found at CEO 182 00:10:08,894 --> 00:10:11,534 Speaker 1: and face behind I'm sober in the country, she says. 183 00:10:11,534 --> 00:10:14,134 Speaker 1: For her she asked a question so many of us 184 00:10:14,174 --> 00:10:17,094 Speaker 1: have probably questioned ourselves with at some stage, and that is, 185 00:10:17,454 --> 00:10:20,414 Speaker 1: do I have a problem? Because what does normal drinking 186 00:10:20,454 --> 00:10:20,814 Speaker 1: look like? 187 00:10:22,174 --> 00:10:24,614 Speaker 5: I really wanted to know and understand what does it 188 00:10:24,734 --> 00:10:27,814 Speaker 5: look like to have a drinking problem? Like, talk me 189 00:10:27,854 --> 00:10:29,654 Speaker 5: through that, Like how many drinks is it? What does 190 00:10:29,694 --> 00:10:31,894 Speaker 5: it look like for you. I was quite obsessed with 191 00:10:31,974 --> 00:10:36,974 Speaker 5: finding out that information. What I now understand is that 192 00:10:37,094 --> 00:10:40,854 Speaker 5: a drinking problem quote unquote can look like various different 193 00:10:40,894 --> 00:10:45,174 Speaker 5: things to various different people. It was my mid twenties 194 00:10:45,214 --> 00:10:49,174 Speaker 5: when it first occurred to me there might be something 195 00:10:49,574 --> 00:10:54,334 Speaker 5: not ideal about my drinking habits, and it was off 196 00:10:54,414 --> 00:10:57,414 Speaker 5: the back of a pretty horrific heartbreak control. I mean, 197 00:10:57,454 --> 00:11:00,494 Speaker 5: I'd been in trauma from the age of eighteen. But 198 00:11:00,574 --> 00:11:04,774 Speaker 5: I noticed in my mid twenties that I was buying 199 00:11:04,934 --> 00:11:08,814 Speaker 5: horrible cask wine and drinking a couple of really big 200 00:11:08,814 --> 00:11:12,614 Speaker 5: glasses night to unwind and relax and help me get 201 00:11:12,654 --> 00:11:16,014 Speaker 5: to sleep. And I thought, oh, maybe that's not ideal. 202 00:11:16,094 --> 00:11:19,934 Speaker 5: But I didn't delve into that too much further, because 203 00:11:20,054 --> 00:11:22,614 Speaker 5: all of Australia told me, no, that's perfectly normal. You're 204 00:11:22,654 --> 00:11:24,854 Speaker 5: just one of us. If anything, you're a bit of 205 00:11:24,854 --> 00:11:27,894 Speaker 5: a legend. At the end of my drinking career, when 206 00:11:27,974 --> 00:11:32,134 Speaker 5: I was suicidal and forty, it was two and a 207 00:11:32,174 --> 00:11:35,374 Speaker 5: half bottles of wine behind closed doors after five pm. 208 00:11:35,574 --> 00:11:38,374 Speaker 5: I never drank every day, and I didn't drink during 209 00:11:38,414 --> 00:11:43,054 Speaker 5: the day, and so I had decided that therefore meant 210 00:11:43,054 --> 00:11:45,374 Speaker 5: I couldn't possibly be addicted to alcohol. 211 00:11:45,814 --> 00:11:48,134 Speaker 1: Shannis is living in the country meant the toxic role 212 00:11:48,174 --> 00:11:49,214 Speaker 1: models were the norm. 213 00:11:49,734 --> 00:11:53,974 Speaker 5: It's been around I reckon since TV, particularly you know 214 00:11:54,094 --> 00:11:56,814 Speaker 5: Hoages trucking a shrimp on the barbie in you know, 215 00:11:56,894 --> 00:12:01,214 Speaker 5: Bronze dozsy Alaric and beer. From our earliest cricketers, there 216 00:12:01,254 --> 00:12:04,214 Speaker 5: was always kind of a legendary status attached to beer 217 00:12:04,374 --> 00:12:07,894 Speaker 5: and manly men and Australia and Alaricanism. 218 00:12:08,214 --> 00:12:09,694 Speaker 3: It was a sense of pride. 219 00:12:09,934 --> 00:12:12,174 Speaker 5: But what's happened as the decades have gone on and 220 00:12:12,174 --> 00:12:15,414 Speaker 5: on and on, that culture has become so ingrained and 221 00:12:15,534 --> 00:12:20,974 Speaker 5: so embedded and so normalized that we literally, in my opinion, 222 00:12:21,734 --> 00:12:25,774 Speaker 5: and particularly in rural and remote Australia, we kind of 223 00:12:25,854 --> 00:12:29,814 Speaker 5: worship and revere deadly drinking. We look at that as 224 00:12:29,814 --> 00:12:32,014 Speaker 5: the mark of a legendary bloke. You know, if he 225 00:12:32,014 --> 00:12:33,814 Speaker 5: can drink a bottle of run by himself and make 226 00:12:33,854 --> 00:12:35,374 Speaker 5: it home, what a legend. 227 00:12:35,574 --> 00:12:40,574 Speaker 3: As opposed to gwiz. That guy is in serious, serious trouble. 228 00:12:41,094 --> 00:12:42,654 Speaker 3: We need to help him. 229 00:12:43,014 --> 00:12:45,654 Speaker 1: But for Shanna, there was a rock bottom moment that 230 00:12:45,854 --> 00:12:46,494 Speaker 1: changed it all. 231 00:12:47,334 --> 00:12:49,974 Speaker 5: I fell down the flight of concrete stairs. I don't 232 00:12:50,014 --> 00:12:51,494 Speaker 5: remember it. I don't know what. 233 00:12:51,534 --> 00:12:52,734 Speaker 3: Happened or what led up to it. 234 00:12:52,774 --> 00:12:54,734 Speaker 5: All I know is that I woke up in emergency 235 00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:58,494 Speaker 5: in hospital with my husband standing over me, tubes coming 236 00:12:58,494 --> 00:13:03,214 Speaker 5: out of me, massive gash in my forehead, just horrifying, mortifying. 237 00:13:04,654 --> 00:13:08,014 Speaker 5: And when we finally got home, I remember Tim sitting 238 00:13:08,054 --> 00:13:11,174 Speaker 5: on the bed and he was just been the beautiful, beautiful, 239 00:13:11,294 --> 00:13:13,534 Speaker 5: incredible human that he is, and he was stroking my 240 00:13:13,614 --> 00:13:15,414 Speaker 5: hair and just. 241 00:13:15,374 --> 00:13:17,934 Speaker 3: Looking at me both. It's so emotional when I have 242 00:13:18,014 --> 00:13:19,694 Speaker 3: this memory, it's amazing. 243 00:13:19,534 --> 00:13:21,494 Speaker 5: Ten years down the track, and it's like, yes, that 244 00:13:22,294 --> 00:13:26,294 Speaker 5: people who love you have a question that they can't 245 00:13:26,294 --> 00:13:28,694 Speaker 5: get an answer to, and the question is why why 246 00:13:28,694 --> 00:13:31,894 Speaker 5: do you keep doing this? Why do you choose alcohol 247 00:13:31,974 --> 00:13:35,494 Speaker 5: over me? And Tim had been asking that same question 248 00:13:36,014 --> 00:13:39,774 Speaker 5: for years, understandably I'd been asking it of myself, but 249 00:13:39,814 --> 00:13:42,654 Speaker 5: I didn't know the answer because at that stage I 250 00:13:42,694 --> 00:13:46,334 Speaker 5: didn't know. It's simply that's just how addiction works, and 251 00:13:46,374 --> 00:13:50,454 Speaker 5: it just destroys you, and it destroys your loved ones. 252 00:13:50,614 --> 00:13:53,894 Speaker 5: But what changed that day was Tim sitting next to me, 253 00:13:54,454 --> 00:13:57,734 Speaker 5: and instead of saying why, he looked at me with 254 00:13:57,774 --> 00:14:00,974 Speaker 5: such compassion and he said, sweetheart, you kind of even help. 255 00:14:00,894 --> 00:14:02,014 Speaker 3: This, can you? 256 00:14:03,414 --> 00:14:06,654 Speaker 5: And it was that shift in his phrasing and in 257 00:14:06,734 --> 00:14:11,414 Speaker 5: his mindset that just broke me open. And I started sobbing, 258 00:14:12,254 --> 00:14:15,014 Speaker 5: and I could not stop because I could say to 259 00:14:15,094 --> 00:14:17,734 Speaker 5: him for the first time, I actually can't help it. 260 00:14:18,294 --> 00:14:20,454 Speaker 5: I don't know what's wrong with me. I can't stop. 261 00:14:20,494 --> 00:14:22,254 Speaker 5: I can't help it. But I don't think I want 262 00:14:22,294 --> 00:14:22,894 Speaker 5: to die. 263 00:14:24,494 --> 00:14:27,014 Speaker 1: So how did you give up? For Shanna? She did 264 00:14:27,054 --> 00:14:29,134 Speaker 1: reach out for help and took time off work to 265 00:14:29,174 --> 00:14:32,614 Speaker 1: focus purely on her health and sobriety, something she understands 266 00:14:32,614 --> 00:14:35,334 Speaker 1: she is in a very privileged position to do, but 267 00:14:35,454 --> 00:14:38,774 Speaker 1: says the biggest thing was staring herself down making some 268 00:14:38,814 --> 00:14:39,934 Speaker 1: big admissions. 269 00:14:41,374 --> 00:14:44,814 Speaker 5: So prior to that moment with Tim, you know, I 270 00:14:44,894 --> 00:14:49,214 Speaker 5: had been living in that sort of rage filled denial, anger, resistance. 271 00:14:49,734 --> 00:14:52,134 Speaker 5: I wanted nothing more than to prove I could drink 272 00:14:52,174 --> 00:14:53,054 Speaker 5: like a normal person. 273 00:14:53,574 --> 00:14:56,294 Speaker 3: It was just such a bizarre place I was at. 274 00:14:57,174 --> 00:15:02,014 Speaker 5: Whereas when I left that bed that day, feeling like 275 00:15:02,134 --> 00:15:05,174 Speaker 5: death and knowing I would die, I just knew I 276 00:15:05,174 --> 00:15:08,494 Speaker 5: had to do something different. So I sought help, and 277 00:15:08,534 --> 00:15:12,774 Speaker 5: I asked for help, and I became willing to receive it, 278 00:15:13,774 --> 00:15:17,974 Speaker 5: and that was the game changer, and for me it 279 00:15:18,094 --> 00:15:21,534 Speaker 5: was such a simple thing. But when I looked myself 280 00:15:21,534 --> 00:15:25,454 Speaker 5: in the mirror square on and admitted that I could. 281 00:15:25,334 --> 00:15:26,934 Speaker 3: Not ever drink again. 282 00:15:28,334 --> 00:15:31,014 Speaker 5: Or I would die, and I stopped resenting it and 283 00:15:31,054 --> 00:15:36,134 Speaker 5: I simply accepted it and chose to make sobriety my 284 00:15:36,294 --> 00:15:37,614 Speaker 5: non negotiable priority. 285 00:15:38,574 --> 00:15:41,934 Speaker 3: It sounds like a really weird, stupid cliche, but everything 286 00:15:42,014 --> 00:15:45,334 Speaker 3: shifted for me with that mindset, and in that moment. 287 00:15:45,654 --> 00:15:47,734 Speaker 5: I believe it was a bit of a miracle story 288 00:15:47,774 --> 00:15:52,774 Speaker 5: for us, because I remember going to bed when all 289 00:15:52,814 --> 00:15:54,814 Speaker 5: of these things had clicked over and turned over in 290 00:15:54,894 --> 00:15:58,174 Speaker 5: my head, and I snuggled up next to my beautiful 291 00:15:58,254 --> 00:16:00,894 Speaker 5: husband and I said, I can't drink every again or 292 00:16:00,894 --> 00:16:03,814 Speaker 5: I will die, and I have to now not be 293 00:16:03,894 --> 00:16:05,854 Speaker 5: a drinker. I don't know what that looks like or 294 00:16:05,894 --> 00:16:08,694 Speaker 5: how it works, but I had accepted it, and instead 295 00:16:08,694 --> 00:16:14,094 Speaker 5: of resenting it, I embraced it. I never wanted, desired, 296 00:16:14,174 --> 00:16:16,254 Speaker 5: or craved to drink from that moment onwards. 297 00:16:16,814 --> 00:16:19,174 Speaker 1: So how did these three women handle the big occasions, 298 00:16:19,214 --> 00:16:22,014 Speaker 1: occasions that will present an opportunity to drink like the 299 00:16:22,094 --> 00:16:25,214 Speaker 1: Christmas party? For Ang, she says, it sometimes means also 300 00:16:25,294 --> 00:16:26,374 Speaker 1: being a thoughtful host. 301 00:16:27,054 --> 00:16:29,214 Speaker 4: You know when it comes to entertaining, like we're so 302 00:16:29,374 --> 00:16:32,454 Speaker 4: used to asking now for dietary requirements and we accommodate them. 303 00:16:32,534 --> 00:16:35,814 Speaker 4: We accommodate gluten free or vegan without a blink of 304 00:16:35,854 --> 00:16:38,134 Speaker 4: the eye. But we never sort of stopped to thank 305 00:16:38,174 --> 00:16:40,734 Speaker 4: or realist. I did, and when I was entertaining full swing, 306 00:16:41,134 --> 00:16:42,174 Speaker 4: if people weren't drinking. 307 00:16:42,654 --> 00:16:45,334 Speaker 1: For Kath, it's having people around her who understand. And 308 00:16:45,374 --> 00:16:48,694 Speaker 1: while she understands there are alcohol free alternatives, they're not 309 00:16:48,734 --> 00:16:49,294 Speaker 1: for everyone. 310 00:16:49,974 --> 00:16:51,294 Speaker 3: Sober life is pretty great. 311 00:16:51,374 --> 00:16:55,134 Speaker 2: I've got to say. I are surrounded by incredible people 312 00:16:55,174 --> 00:16:58,134 Speaker 2: who support me and love me. Pretty much everybody I 313 00:16:58,174 --> 00:17:01,294 Speaker 2: know says if it's too much for you, we won't drink, 314 00:17:01,414 --> 00:17:06,094 Speaker 2: So that's fabulous. Look, it wasn't easy because pretty much 315 00:17:06,134 --> 00:17:08,654 Speaker 2: you went to the anywhere and it was like, oh, 316 00:17:08,694 --> 00:17:11,294 Speaker 2: you can have a soda lime, or you can have 317 00:17:11,574 --> 00:17:14,614 Speaker 2: soft drink like the kids at the kid's table, and 318 00:17:14,654 --> 00:17:19,454 Speaker 2: there were really no options for people who didn't want 319 00:17:19,454 --> 00:17:25,174 Speaker 2: to drink. But with the current movement towards alcohol free 320 00:17:25,294 --> 00:17:28,974 Speaker 2: drinks and there's so many options out there, I don't 321 00:17:29,054 --> 00:17:31,614 Speaker 2: drink a lot of them because for me, I don't 322 00:17:31,654 --> 00:17:36,814 Speaker 2: want that to become a slippery soap into maybe I 323 00:17:36,814 --> 00:17:37,934 Speaker 2: could just have one drink. 324 00:17:38,294 --> 00:17:40,574 Speaker 1: And for Shanna, she says she has to make sure 325 00:17:40,574 --> 00:17:42,054 Speaker 1: she doesn't go into anything blind. 326 00:17:42,974 --> 00:17:45,734 Speaker 3: So much careful planning and strategizing. 327 00:17:45,854 --> 00:17:50,494 Speaker 5: I literally had to dedicate all of my time to going, Okay, 328 00:17:50,654 --> 00:17:51,854 Speaker 5: I have a wedding coming up. 329 00:17:52,174 --> 00:17:55,094 Speaker 3: I'm only three months so by this is a huge, huge, 330 00:17:55,174 --> 00:17:58,374 Speaker 3: huge danger zone and a dangerous time. What am I 331 00:17:58,454 --> 00:18:00,334 Speaker 3: going to do? So I'd talk about it with Tim. 332 00:18:00,574 --> 00:18:02,814 Speaker 5: Then I would ring the bride and groom, for instance, 333 00:18:02,854 --> 00:18:05,534 Speaker 5: and say, hey, guys, I'm coming, but I'm only going 334 00:18:05,614 --> 00:18:07,574 Speaker 5: to go to the ceremony and then I'm going to 335 00:18:07,574 --> 00:18:09,094 Speaker 5: give you a kiss and bid you good day, and 336 00:18:09,094 --> 00:18:11,174 Speaker 5: I'm going to to move out of there because I 337 00:18:11,174 --> 00:18:13,854 Speaker 5: can't be around alcohol, as you know. And they were like, 338 00:18:14,014 --> 00:18:16,534 Speaker 5: oh my god, totally fine, Shan, thanks for letting us know. 339 00:18:16,614 --> 00:18:21,774 Speaker 3: We're so gratefully coming. Bammed simple done. So I just i'd, 340 00:18:21,854 --> 00:18:22,294 Speaker 3: like I. 341 00:18:22,214 --> 00:18:25,534 Speaker 5: Said, for me, sobriety just had to be an absolutely 342 00:18:25,694 --> 00:18:28,654 Speaker 5: non negotiable priority of every single thing. 343 00:18:30,694 --> 00:18:33,054 Speaker 1: If you're facing a Christmas sober and you think you're 344 00:18:33,054 --> 00:18:35,534 Speaker 1: going to be struggling, know that you are not alone. 345 00:18:35,654 --> 00:18:38,054 Speaker 1: There are communities you can reach out to and people 346 00:18:38,054 --> 00:18:40,294 Speaker 1: who can help, like the folks at the National Alcohol 347 00:18:40,294 --> 00:18:42,414 Speaker 1: and Other Drug Hotline. That's one eight hundred and two 348 00:18:42,534 --> 00:18:45,934 Speaker 1: five zero zero one five. We'll also pop the links 349 00:18:45,934 --> 00:18:48,174 Speaker 1: to sober in the country and the mind the sipap 350 00:18:48,294 --> 00:18:51,814 Speaker 1: in our show notes, you got this. Thanks for taking 351 00:18:51,854 --> 00:18:53,654 Speaker 1: the time to feed your mind with us today. The 352 00:18:53,734 --> 00:18:56,654 Speaker 1: quickie is produced by me Claire Murphy and our executive 353 00:18:56,654 --> 00:19:01,174 Speaker 1: producer Taylor Strano, with audio production by Jacob Brown.