1 00:00:05,646 --> 00:00:10,645 Speaker 1: You're listening to Amma Mea Podcast. 2 00:00:11,006 --> 00:00:14,286 Speaker 2: Hi, it's Cassenne lukig Here, host of Diary of a Birth, 3 00:00:14,566 --> 00:00:17,925 Speaker 2: and this summer we've curated your delivery room playlist to 4 00:00:17,966 --> 00:00:21,526 Speaker 2: bring you even more unmissable birth stories. This summer, we're 5 00:00:21,566 --> 00:00:24,246 Speaker 2: bringing you our favorite episodes of Diary of a Birth 6 00:00:24,526 --> 00:00:27,926 Speaker 2: right here in your feet. That's your holiday listening Sordid 7 00:00:28,366 --> 00:00:30,806 Speaker 2: And if you're looking for more to listen to, every 8 00:00:30,846 --> 00:00:34,566 Speaker 2: Muma Mea podcast is curating your summer listening right across 9 00:00:34,606 --> 00:00:38,565 Speaker 2: our network. From pop culture to beauty to powerful interviews, 10 00:00:38,726 --> 00:00:39,885 Speaker 2: there's something for everyone. 11 00:00:40,126 --> 00:00:46,486 Speaker 1: Check out the link in the show notes. Hi, I'm 12 00:00:46,565 --> 00:00:50,525 Speaker 1: Cassena Lukicch and this is Diary of a Birth. Some 13 00:00:50,565 --> 00:00:53,846 Speaker 1: of the most challenging births can also be the most 14 00:00:53,886 --> 00:00:58,166 Speaker 1: healing ones. After having to go under general anesthetic during 15 00:00:58,166 --> 00:01:01,886 Speaker 1: her first birth, Today's guest didn't get to experience hearing 16 00:01:01,926 --> 00:01:06,246 Speaker 1: her babies first cry. Determined to be awake for her second, 17 00:01:06,766 --> 00:01:10,686 Speaker 1: Jordan worked closely with Anesetus to find a solution. When 18 00:01:10,726 --> 00:01:14,486 Speaker 1: the moment came, her body's resistant to medication put her 19 00:01:14,566 --> 00:01:16,286 Speaker 1: in an unthinkable position. 20 00:01:17,166 --> 00:01:19,686 Speaker 3: We either need to get going and try and get 21 00:01:19,686 --> 00:01:22,606 Speaker 3: it done or we need to put you to sleep. 22 00:01:22,886 --> 00:01:25,646 Speaker 3: So in that moment here I have the decision again 23 00:01:25,766 --> 00:01:27,686 Speaker 3: of am I being put to sleep or am I 24 00:01:27,726 --> 00:01:29,806 Speaker 3: going to try and be awake to me my baby 25 00:01:29,846 --> 00:01:30,166 Speaker 3: be born. 26 00:01:31,206 --> 00:01:35,006 Speaker 1: When standard anesthesia failed again, she found herself in the 27 00:01:35,046 --> 00:01:38,886 Speaker 1: operating theater, facing a split second choice that would define 28 00:01:38,926 --> 00:01:42,166 Speaker 1: her birth experience. So let's meet today's mum. 29 00:01:42,886 --> 00:01:45,326 Speaker 3: Hi, my name is Jordan, and this is my diary 30 00:01:45,366 --> 00:01:49,806 Speaker 3: of a birth with Dakota. 31 00:01:49,926 --> 00:01:52,606 Speaker 1: So, Jordan, can you tell us a little bit about 32 00:01:52,646 --> 00:01:54,526 Speaker 1: you've got two kids now, you've got a four and 33 00:01:54,566 --> 00:01:57,286 Speaker 1: a two year old. Can you tell us a little 34 00:01:57,286 --> 00:01:59,806 Speaker 1: bit about your birth with Matilda? 35 00:02:00,486 --> 00:02:04,086 Speaker 3: Yeah, so I had your stational diabetes, so they had 36 00:02:04,126 --> 00:02:07,766 Speaker 3: always spoken about induction. I'd had a failed induction, so 37 00:02:07,966 --> 00:02:10,766 Speaker 3: I didn't progress, and heart rate and everything like that 38 00:02:10,846 --> 00:02:14,686 Speaker 3: went pretty high, which turned into an emergency cesarean. They 39 00:02:14,805 --> 00:02:17,526 Speaker 3: tried to put in their perdural twice and it didn't 40 00:02:17,566 --> 00:02:21,125 Speaker 3: really work. So when we got up to theater, they 41 00:02:21,206 --> 00:02:25,486 Speaker 3: tried to then put in a spinal which was working. 42 00:02:25,685 --> 00:02:28,006 Speaker 3: And as soon as they started to do the procedure 43 00:02:28,006 --> 00:02:30,046 Speaker 3: and started to cut, I was like I can feel this, 44 00:02:30,085 --> 00:02:32,965 Speaker 3: I can feel this, Like please stop now like, no, no, 45 00:02:33,166 --> 00:02:35,085 Speaker 3: you'll feel a little bit of tai. I was like, no, like, 46 00:02:35,125 --> 00:02:37,925 Speaker 3: I can feel you cutting, I need to stop now. 47 00:02:38,245 --> 00:02:40,525 Speaker 3: So I actually was put to sleep for her birth, 48 00:02:40,566 --> 00:02:43,126 Speaker 3: so I wasn't awake at all while she was being born. 49 00:02:43,446 --> 00:02:48,006 Speaker 1: Yeah, obviously with that that is quite scary to feel 50 00:02:48,085 --> 00:02:53,486 Speaker 1: that pain when you felt pregnant with Dakota, was that 51 00:02:53,606 --> 00:02:55,486 Speaker 1: kind of in the back of your mind. 52 00:02:55,805 --> 00:02:59,925 Speaker 3: Yes, totally. From the beginning. I had made it known 53 00:03:00,046 --> 00:03:03,446 Speaker 3: with my hospital that this happened the first time and 54 00:03:03,486 --> 00:03:06,486 Speaker 3: I don't want it to happen again. So they'd actually 55 00:03:06,645 --> 00:03:09,486 Speaker 3: organized appointments with an ethodist to talk through it to 56 00:03:09,606 --> 00:03:12,246 Speaker 3: make sure that, like, if I was going to have assaia, 57 00:03:12,805 --> 00:03:14,846 Speaker 3: then I could be awake for it, because that was 58 00:03:14,886 --> 00:03:17,286 Speaker 3: my main thing, apart from it being scary and not 59 00:03:17,446 --> 00:03:20,566 Speaker 3: nice to feel. I wanted to meet my baby like 60 00:03:20,766 --> 00:03:22,365 Speaker 3: as soon as they were born, and I didn't get 61 00:03:22,405 --> 00:03:23,965 Speaker 3: to do that the first time I was It was 62 00:03:24,006 --> 00:03:26,645 Speaker 3: an hour later during COVID. My partner didn't even get 63 00:03:26,685 --> 00:03:30,046 Speaker 3: to meet her until they're neither, so that was huge 64 00:03:30,046 --> 00:03:30,286 Speaker 3: for me. 65 00:03:30,925 --> 00:03:35,326 Speaker 1: Yeah. With your first with Matilda, because they had to 66 00:03:35,366 --> 00:03:38,285 Speaker 1: put you under general aesthetic, you didn't get to meet 67 00:03:38,366 --> 00:03:42,646 Speaker 1: us straight away. No, so how long after were you 68 00:03:42,846 --> 00:03:44,766 Speaker 1: able to be with her? 69 00:03:45,126 --> 00:03:47,486 Speaker 3: Yeah, so she was born at twenty three twenty three, 70 00:03:47,526 --> 00:03:51,886 Speaker 3: so eleven twenty three pm, and I got to meet her. 71 00:03:51,886 --> 00:03:53,686 Speaker 3: And all the photos of us meeting for the first 72 00:03:53,686 --> 00:03:56,446 Speaker 3: time are at twelve thirty five, so that's over an 73 00:03:56,486 --> 00:03:59,366 Speaker 3: hour later. So you know people talking about the Golden Hour, Well, 74 00:04:00,126 --> 00:04:02,366 Speaker 3: neither myself or my partner got to meet her within 75 00:04:02,406 --> 00:04:03,086 Speaker 3: that first hour. 76 00:04:03,686 --> 00:04:05,446 Speaker 1: Yeah, and you would have been kind of out of 77 00:04:05,606 --> 00:04:07,366 Speaker 1: as well, because you're coming out of general aesthetic. 78 00:04:07,606 --> 00:04:10,566 Speaker 3: Yeah, and it was twelve thirty in the morning after 79 00:04:10,886 --> 00:04:13,565 Speaker 3: laboring all day, so, like I was exhausted and I 80 00:04:13,566 --> 00:04:16,445 Speaker 3: could barely keep my eyes open. I was so excited 81 00:04:16,486 --> 00:04:19,046 Speaker 3: to meet this little girl that you know, we didn't 82 00:04:19,086 --> 00:04:20,645 Speaker 3: know we're having a girl, so I was so excited 83 00:04:20,646 --> 00:04:25,285 Speaker 3: to meet her. But yeah, it was just a lot, 84 00:04:25,565 --> 00:04:27,406 Speaker 3: not knowing that I would be put to sleep, then 85 00:04:27,486 --> 00:04:31,526 Speaker 3: not knowing that even my partner wouldn't be meeting her. Yeah, straightaway. 86 00:04:32,086 --> 00:04:35,965 Speaker 1: So you fell pregnant with Dakota, you kind of knew 87 00:04:35,966 --> 00:04:39,605 Speaker 1: that this was the case that anesthesia didn't quite work 88 00:04:39,646 --> 00:04:44,246 Speaker 1: on you the way that it normally does. You have 89 00:04:44,325 --> 00:04:47,806 Speaker 1: your meeting with the anethetist. How are you feeling throughout 90 00:04:47,846 --> 00:04:51,285 Speaker 1: the pregnancy while having this in the back of your mind. 91 00:04:51,726 --> 00:04:55,286 Speaker 3: Honestly, my first thought was, let's try and have a 92 00:04:55,366 --> 00:04:57,646 Speaker 3: vback because I don't want to have to go through 93 00:04:57,646 --> 00:05:01,525 Speaker 3: this again. That was my initial thought, and I'd sort 94 00:05:01,526 --> 00:05:03,565 Speaker 3: of tried to prepare for that as much as I 95 00:05:03,606 --> 00:05:06,846 Speaker 3: could until I got to about I want to say, 96 00:05:06,846 --> 00:05:08,766 Speaker 3: maybe thirty four weeks, and things sort of took a 97 00:05:08,765 --> 00:05:11,686 Speaker 3: little bit of a change. So that's when then I 98 00:05:11,765 --> 00:05:15,765 Speaker 3: knew I'm going to have to have a planned caesar. Okay, 99 00:05:16,005 --> 00:05:18,565 Speaker 3: this is like a bit stressful. Are these things going 100 00:05:18,565 --> 00:05:21,526 Speaker 3: to happen again? Yeah? It was very stressful for myself 101 00:05:21,526 --> 00:05:23,565 Speaker 3: and for my partner because it was obviously very traumatic 102 00:05:23,646 --> 00:05:24,166 Speaker 3: for him too. 103 00:05:24,726 --> 00:05:27,646 Speaker 1: What was it about at thirty four weeks meaning you 104 00:05:27,686 --> 00:05:29,966 Speaker 1: couldn't have a feedback. Why couldn't you have a vback? 105 00:05:30,486 --> 00:05:34,765 Speaker 3: Yeah, So initially we thought I was going into labor early, 106 00:05:35,366 --> 00:05:37,086 Speaker 3: so we'd sort of spoken about that. I was in 107 00:05:37,166 --> 00:05:39,965 Speaker 3: hospital for a week and then she was doing a 108 00:05:40,005 --> 00:05:45,606 Speaker 3: few reduced movements flipping breach not being breach, and it 109 00:05:45,686 --> 00:05:48,606 Speaker 3: was a bit like my hospital went super keen on 110 00:05:48,686 --> 00:05:53,166 Speaker 3: a breach feedback as a lot wouldn't be. So then 111 00:05:53,565 --> 00:05:57,406 Speaker 3: when it got to my third, well thirty five ish weeks, 112 00:05:57,966 --> 00:06:00,046 Speaker 3: I started having more reduced movements and I went in 113 00:06:00,086 --> 00:06:03,565 Speaker 3: for a scan and they estimated that at thirty six 114 00:06:03,606 --> 00:06:07,846 Speaker 3: weeks she was measuring around over four kilos and she'd 115 00:06:07,846 --> 00:06:11,406 Speaker 3: turned breach. So they were like, if you were thinking 116 00:06:11,445 --> 00:06:13,686 Speaker 3: of doing for me back, it's probably not going to happen. 117 00:06:14,126 --> 00:06:17,845 Speaker 1: Yeah, I know with your first you had gestational diabetes. 118 00:06:17,885 --> 00:06:22,766 Speaker 1: You also had HG, which is the hyperimus gabbadarium. I 119 00:06:22,806 --> 00:06:25,686 Speaker 1: can never pronounce it properly. Yeah, yeah, yeah, did you 120 00:06:25,686 --> 00:06:27,005 Speaker 1: have that with your second as well? 121 00:06:27,486 --> 00:06:29,525 Speaker 3: No, So I had like I had some nausea and 122 00:06:29,565 --> 00:06:33,205 Speaker 3: morning sickness and vomiting with Dakota, but I didn't have 123 00:06:33,286 --> 00:06:35,646 Speaker 3: it anywhere to the extreme as I did with Matilda. 124 00:06:35,726 --> 00:06:37,886 Speaker 3: Like I could still eat, I could still go to work, 125 00:06:37,926 --> 00:06:40,766 Speaker 3: whereas with my first I felt like I spent a 126 00:06:40,806 --> 00:06:43,086 Speaker 3: lot of time. It was lockdown, so we obviously weren't 127 00:06:43,126 --> 00:06:45,085 Speaker 3: doing a lot anyway, but I felt like I spent 128 00:06:45,126 --> 00:06:47,246 Speaker 3: a lot of the time not doing anything because I 129 00:06:47,286 --> 00:06:49,446 Speaker 3: was sick all the time. Where As second time round, 130 00:06:49,445 --> 00:06:52,525 Speaker 3: I still had gestational diabetes. But I didn't have the 131 00:06:52,606 --> 00:06:56,086 Speaker 3: severe morning sickness HG that I did with my. 132 00:06:56,086 --> 00:07:00,286 Speaker 1: First So you get to thirty six weeks, you're kind 133 00:07:00,286 --> 00:07:03,126 Speaker 1: of like, okay, we've got to put this caesar in place. 134 00:07:03,966 --> 00:07:06,126 Speaker 1: When did they book that in for you? 135 00:07:06,565 --> 00:07:08,445 Speaker 3: So just before thirty six weeks, so I was about 136 00:07:08,486 --> 00:07:11,846 Speaker 3: thirty five and six maybe, so it was like two 137 00:07:11,926 --> 00:07:13,766 Speaker 3: or three days before I went thirty six weeks. I 138 00:07:13,806 --> 00:07:16,326 Speaker 3: had a reduced movements where I didn't really feel her 139 00:07:16,406 --> 00:07:20,246 Speaker 3: move I went in, they did like some monitoring, it 140 00:07:20,286 --> 00:07:22,726 Speaker 3: came back okay, So they were like, let's just do 141 00:07:22,766 --> 00:07:24,886 Speaker 3: another lot tomorrow and then we've got this scan booked 142 00:07:24,886 --> 00:07:27,926 Speaker 3: in two days, so like that'll be perfect. So I 143 00:07:28,006 --> 00:07:33,206 Speaker 3: did the scan and the scan went from oh she's 144 00:07:33,366 --> 00:07:36,246 Speaker 3: breached to this is urgent. You actually need to go 145 00:07:36,406 --> 00:07:40,726 Speaker 3: back to your doctor. I'm not recording movement. So like 146 00:07:40,886 --> 00:07:44,165 Speaker 3: in the scan they say, you know, like they should 147 00:07:44,206 --> 00:07:47,686 Speaker 3: tick off. Are they like practicing breathing? Are they moving? 148 00:07:47,806 --> 00:07:52,126 Speaker 3: And she wasn't doing any movements. She was just in 149 00:07:52,166 --> 00:07:56,845 Speaker 3: the one spot. So I went in to my doctor 150 00:07:56,886 --> 00:08:00,926 Speaker 3: straight after and they said to me, ideally we'd like 151 00:08:00,966 --> 00:08:04,366 Speaker 3: to get to thirty seven weeks, but if you come 152 00:08:04,366 --> 00:08:08,046 Speaker 3: in every single day and we do monitoring. You may 153 00:08:08,086 --> 00:08:13,446 Speaker 3: come in and she may come out. It's like pretty stressful. 154 00:08:13,806 --> 00:08:15,965 Speaker 3: So they had it looked in for a week later 155 00:08:16,046 --> 00:08:19,446 Speaker 3: at thirty seven weeks exactly. But it was literally like 156 00:08:19,886 --> 00:08:21,966 Speaker 3: our life was on pause because we didn't know if 157 00:08:22,006 --> 00:08:23,806 Speaker 3: we're going to have a baby that day. 158 00:08:24,366 --> 00:08:27,366 Speaker 1: So your partner, Hugh, you've got a toddler, a two 159 00:08:27,446 --> 00:08:30,726 Speaker 1: year old, and I know how difficult it is being 160 00:08:30,766 --> 00:08:33,766 Speaker 1: pregnant with a two year old. It is very hard. 161 00:08:34,606 --> 00:08:37,806 Speaker 1: And then your partner, Hugh, so during that last week, 162 00:08:38,006 --> 00:08:42,086 Speaker 1: how was he and you know, your family with that, 163 00:08:42,126 --> 00:08:45,606 Speaker 1: because obviously it's very heightened anxiety around that time. 164 00:08:46,285 --> 00:08:49,526 Speaker 3: Yeah, we're so lucky that we have really supportive families, 165 00:08:49,806 --> 00:08:52,246 Speaker 3: families that are very close to us, like my mom 166 00:08:52,366 --> 00:08:54,966 Speaker 3: and his mum, and everyone was very like, if we 167 00:08:55,045 --> 00:08:57,646 Speaker 3: need to help, we help. And at that point until 168 00:08:57,646 --> 00:09:00,285 Speaker 3: it wasn't in childcare, so like she was always with 169 00:09:00,326 --> 00:09:02,366 Speaker 3: me and me having to go into a hospital every day, 170 00:09:02,686 --> 00:09:05,886 Speaker 3: it means that somebody has to have her. So everyone 171 00:09:05,966 --> 00:09:09,206 Speaker 3: was very stressed knowing that she's probably going to come early, 172 00:09:09,246 --> 00:09:12,086 Speaker 3: but also like she couldn't be coming at any time, 173 00:09:12,846 --> 00:09:15,886 Speaker 3: and he was just trying to work so that then 174 00:09:15,966 --> 00:09:18,286 Speaker 3: when she did come, he could then take the time off. 175 00:09:18,326 --> 00:09:20,805 Speaker 3: He didn't want to take time off while we're waiting, 176 00:09:21,086 --> 00:09:23,926 Speaker 3: knowing that, Okay, she might not be here until thirty 177 00:09:23,926 --> 00:09:27,165 Speaker 3: seven weeks, so let's try and you know, get in 178 00:09:27,206 --> 00:09:29,366 Speaker 3: and he's only five minutes from the hospital where he works, 179 00:09:29,405 --> 00:09:31,006 Speaker 3: so it's not as bad. 180 00:09:31,126 --> 00:09:34,126 Speaker 1: But yeah, will you stay at home mom at the time? 181 00:09:34,606 --> 00:09:34,886 Speaker 3: Yeah? 182 00:09:35,006 --> 00:09:40,646 Speaker 1: Yeah, obviously that's also very challenging. Your partner, Hugh works 183 00:09:40,886 --> 00:09:44,646 Speaker 1: full time. He doesn't want to take time off. Do 184 00:09:44,726 --> 00:09:46,486 Speaker 1: you make it to thirty seven weeks? 185 00:09:46,806 --> 00:09:49,086 Speaker 3: Yeah? So I was really lucky. So the thirty seven 186 00:09:49,086 --> 00:09:51,486 Speaker 3: weeks was the Monday, so that's when we were booked 187 00:09:51,486 --> 00:09:53,046 Speaker 3: in and we were told to come in on that day. 188 00:09:53,326 --> 00:09:55,486 Speaker 3: On this Saturday, I went in and I had the 189 00:09:55,566 --> 00:09:57,766 Speaker 3: monitoring done, and they were a bit like, I'm not 190 00:09:57,806 --> 00:10:00,566 Speaker 3: sure if you're going home today. I think she could 191 00:10:00,606 --> 00:10:03,165 Speaker 3: be coming, but because she was thirty six weeks, they 192 00:10:03,165 --> 00:10:05,366 Speaker 3: wanted to make sure that everybody was there, so that 193 00:10:05,566 --> 00:10:07,486 Speaker 3: kept monitoring me and I was there for probably five 194 00:10:07,566 --> 00:10:10,846 Speaker 3: or six hours, and then they went, okay, we're happy 195 00:10:10,886 --> 00:10:14,126 Speaker 3: with this monitoring. Let's like you've got two days to go. 196 00:10:14,285 --> 00:10:16,246 Speaker 3: Let's just try and get through to this thirty some 197 00:10:16,326 --> 00:10:19,526 Speaker 3: week because we've got a team ready to go. So 198 00:10:19,566 --> 00:10:21,846 Speaker 3: I managed to make it two thirty seven weeks. So 199 00:10:22,766 --> 00:10:25,526 Speaker 3: I was booked in and I was the first off 200 00:10:25,526 --> 00:10:28,086 Speaker 3: the rank, so like they're at seven o'clock ready to go, 201 00:10:28,206 --> 00:10:28,966 Speaker 3: which was lovely. 202 00:10:29,405 --> 00:10:32,406 Speaker 1: Did you go through the public system, private system? Where 203 00:10:32,405 --> 00:10:33,045 Speaker 1: are you based? 204 00:10:33,366 --> 00:10:36,405 Speaker 3: Yeah? So I'm near Ballarat, so I went publicly through 205 00:10:36,446 --> 00:10:38,086 Speaker 3: the hospital in Balerat. 206 00:10:38,326 --> 00:10:42,086 Speaker 1: So that's you know, regional basically, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, 207 00:10:42,126 --> 00:10:45,405 Speaker 1: So you're in the regional system. You're in the public system. 208 00:10:45,846 --> 00:10:49,565 Speaker 1: Did you have consistent care throughout your pregnancy. 209 00:10:50,045 --> 00:10:54,086 Speaker 3: No, so I've seen different doctors midwives the whole way through. 210 00:10:54,086 --> 00:10:57,165 Speaker 3: I was really lucky that I had an incredible student midwife, Indy, 211 00:10:57,246 --> 00:11:00,206 Speaker 3: who was with me the whole way through. That was 212 00:11:00,566 --> 00:11:03,045 Speaker 3: my only consistent and it was nice that I had 213 00:11:03,126 --> 00:11:05,046 Speaker 3: her to be able to be lack We talked about 214 00:11:05,045 --> 00:11:08,846 Speaker 3: this time, this is what we wanted sort of when 215 00:11:08,926 --> 00:11:11,886 Speaker 3: I got to I don't really not to say in appointments, 216 00:11:12,246 --> 00:11:14,926 Speaker 3: but I didn't have any of the consistency of seeing 217 00:11:14,926 --> 00:11:17,646 Speaker 3: the same doctor. They'd sort of read my notes. Freak 218 00:11:17,686 --> 00:11:19,646 Speaker 3: out a little bit, and then I'd have to explain 219 00:11:19,686 --> 00:11:22,686 Speaker 3: everything over again. So that was very difficult too. 220 00:11:23,285 --> 00:11:25,886 Speaker 1: Yeah, how did that make you feel during that time? 221 00:11:26,006 --> 00:11:28,126 Speaker 1: Was it frustrating or Yeah? 222 00:11:28,165 --> 00:11:30,565 Speaker 3: It was very like and I think too. A lot 223 00:11:30,566 --> 00:11:33,006 Speaker 3: of the time they would sort of jump the gun 224 00:11:33,045 --> 00:11:35,446 Speaker 3: whenever I'd go in for monitoring because they'd read the 225 00:11:35,526 --> 00:11:38,126 Speaker 3: notes and then they'd freak a little bit and be like, 226 00:11:38,126 --> 00:11:40,566 Speaker 3: oh my goodness, we really need to sort this out. 227 00:11:40,646 --> 00:11:43,766 Speaker 3: And I'd be like, hold on a minute, like go back. 228 00:11:43,966 --> 00:11:46,685 Speaker 3: It's not as you know, like, yeah, okay, I want 229 00:11:46,686 --> 00:11:49,486 Speaker 3: my baby to be healthy, but like just come and 230 00:11:49,526 --> 00:11:51,606 Speaker 3: talk to me first, and don't just read what you're 231 00:11:51,646 --> 00:11:54,006 Speaker 3: reading on a piece of paper like I'm a person. 232 00:11:54,806 --> 00:11:56,686 Speaker 3: So I found that really really hard. 233 00:11:57,086 --> 00:11:59,926 Speaker 1: Yeah, so every time you went in, they kind of 234 00:12:00,045 --> 00:12:01,486 Speaker 1: freak out and go, okay, we need to get this 235 00:12:01,486 --> 00:12:03,566 Speaker 1: baby out now because of what was on the paper. 236 00:12:03,846 --> 00:12:06,285 Speaker 3: Yeah, and just the fact that like i'd seen one 237 00:12:06,326 --> 00:12:10,046 Speaker 3: of the head doctors and she was the one that 238 00:12:10,285 --> 00:12:13,206 Speaker 3: was sure that we could make it to thirty seven weeks, 239 00:12:13,206 --> 00:12:15,726 Speaker 3: that if we did this monitoring, and also on my 240 00:12:15,806 --> 00:12:18,806 Speaker 3: own intuition, like if I felt something changed, then I 241 00:12:18,806 --> 00:12:21,006 Speaker 3: would come and you know, and that's what she said 242 00:12:21,006 --> 00:12:22,646 Speaker 3: to me. She said, I think we can make it 243 00:12:22,686 --> 00:12:25,806 Speaker 3: to thirty seven, but I would go in a doctor 244 00:12:25,846 --> 00:12:29,086 Speaker 3: that hadn't seen me before. We'd go, oh my gosh, 245 00:12:29,086 --> 00:12:31,006 Speaker 3: this is a lot. We need to get this baby 246 00:12:31,006 --> 00:12:33,846 Speaker 3: out now sort of thing, without being like, actually, I'm 247 00:12:33,886 --> 00:12:37,326 Speaker 3: not as stressed today. Yeah, we need to monitor the baby, 248 00:12:37,366 --> 00:12:40,086 Speaker 3: but today I'm not as stressed because I felt a 249 00:12:40,246 --> 00:12:45,006 Speaker 3: kick or two in comparison to nothing coming up. I 250 00:12:45,086 --> 00:12:47,246 Speaker 3: think it was maybe two days later, and they were like, 251 00:12:47,766 --> 00:12:50,726 Speaker 3: we've kin't have never seen anything quite like it, because 252 00:12:50,726 --> 00:12:53,405 Speaker 3: by the time I got to recovery, I could feel 253 00:12:53,446 --> 00:12:56,246 Speaker 3: my legs like I could wiggle, and that's not very long. 254 00:12:56,686 --> 00:12:58,326 Speaker 3: They were like, this is crazy. 255 00:13:04,686 --> 00:13:07,006 Speaker 1: You get to your thirty seven weeks, you go in 256 00:13:07,045 --> 00:13:10,046 Speaker 1: for your planned cason. What does that look like when 257 00:13:10,086 --> 00:13:10,726 Speaker 1: you're going in? 258 00:13:11,285 --> 00:13:14,285 Speaker 3: Yeah, so I don't obviously had a couple of appointments 259 00:13:14,326 --> 00:13:17,766 Speaker 3: with the anesthetics prior just to go through what had 260 00:13:17,766 --> 00:13:21,966 Speaker 3: happened in the first and that my main goal was 261 00:13:22,006 --> 00:13:24,766 Speaker 3: to be awake. That's all I wanted if I could. 262 00:13:25,045 --> 00:13:30,046 Speaker 3: I also didn't want to completely traumatize myself by feeling 263 00:13:30,726 --> 00:13:33,925 Speaker 3: everything and just pushing through because I thought that was 264 00:13:33,966 --> 00:13:37,726 Speaker 3: the right thing to do, so I went in. They 265 00:13:37,926 --> 00:13:40,805 Speaker 3: did the spinal as they normally would. You know, you're 266 00:13:40,806 --> 00:13:42,606 Speaker 3: like a ye, lean over. They put the needle in, 267 00:13:43,206 --> 00:13:45,686 Speaker 3: They laid me down, and they did the arts tests 268 00:13:45,686 --> 00:13:47,205 Speaker 3: where they go up and try and work out where 269 00:13:47,206 --> 00:13:50,446 Speaker 3: it was two and they got to my hips and 270 00:13:50,486 --> 00:13:52,086 Speaker 3: then they got past my hips. I was like, oh, yeah, 271 00:13:52,086 --> 00:13:56,366 Speaker 3: I can't feel that, and they were like, you can 272 00:13:56,405 --> 00:13:58,726 Speaker 3: feel it. I was like yeah yeah, and I'm like okay. 273 00:13:59,405 --> 00:14:01,526 Speaker 3: So they did lack where they tilted the bed so 274 00:14:01,646 --> 00:14:03,366 Speaker 3: like my head was down and my feet were up 275 00:14:03,405 --> 00:14:05,726 Speaker 3: in the air and let that go for a little bit, 276 00:14:06,126 --> 00:14:09,126 Speaker 3: and then did the ice test again and then maybe 277 00:14:09,206 --> 00:14:13,166 Speaker 3: moved a centimeter up and they were like, this is weird. 278 00:14:13,526 --> 00:14:16,046 Speaker 3: The actual spinal like that, they put in the needle 279 00:14:16,045 --> 00:14:18,646 Speaker 3: and everything was perfect, like there was nothing wrong with that, 280 00:14:19,246 --> 00:14:22,126 Speaker 3: just that the anti saith wasn't coming up. So they 281 00:14:22,206 --> 00:14:25,046 Speaker 3: ended up calling in a second so I had two 282 00:14:25,086 --> 00:14:28,006 Speaker 3: anetheists in the room then at that point. So they 283 00:14:28,006 --> 00:14:32,446 Speaker 3: got me up and they redid it. So they gave 284 00:14:32,446 --> 00:14:35,926 Speaker 3: me a second lot of spinal. So I'd had one lot, 285 00:14:35,966 --> 00:14:38,246 Speaker 3: now I was having a second lot. And they said 286 00:14:38,246 --> 00:14:40,926 Speaker 3: to me, the only thing to be aware of is 287 00:14:41,246 --> 00:14:43,166 Speaker 3: because we're giving you so much, there's a chance that 288 00:14:43,206 --> 00:14:44,966 Speaker 3: it could go too high and then you might feel 289 00:14:44,966 --> 00:14:46,686 Speaker 3: like you can't breathe, and then we will have to 290 00:14:46,766 --> 00:14:50,486 Speaker 3: knock you out. So here's me being like, I don't 291 00:14:50,486 --> 00:14:52,206 Speaker 3: want to feel anything, but I could get to a 292 00:14:52,206 --> 00:14:55,166 Speaker 3: point where I feel like I can't breathe. Oh my goodness. 293 00:14:55,166 --> 00:14:57,566 Speaker 3: They're like, so it's up to you, but we don't 294 00:14:57,566 --> 00:15:01,046 Speaker 3: think it's likely because of how it didn't go up 295 00:15:01,206 --> 00:15:04,846 Speaker 3: a huge way. And I was like, okay, well, I 296 00:15:04,886 --> 00:15:08,046 Speaker 3: guess let's try it then. So they did the second lot, 297 00:15:08,726 --> 00:15:13,566 Speaker 3: same thing, laid me down and did the arstest and 298 00:15:13,606 --> 00:15:17,606 Speaker 3: it got to the bottom of my rib cage, so 299 00:15:17,926 --> 00:15:22,326 Speaker 3: like a lot higher. And they said, Okay, I don't 300 00:15:22,326 --> 00:15:24,806 Speaker 3: think we're going to get it up any higher because 301 00:15:24,846 --> 00:15:27,966 Speaker 3: we can't give you a third dose that like, we've 302 00:15:28,006 --> 00:15:31,766 Speaker 3: never given anyone that much. We either need to get 303 00:15:31,806 --> 00:15:35,126 Speaker 3: going and try and get it done, or we need 304 00:15:35,166 --> 00:15:37,806 Speaker 3: to put you to sleep. So in that moment here 305 00:15:37,966 --> 00:15:41,126 Speaker 3: I have the decision again of am I being put 306 00:15:41,126 --> 00:15:43,726 Speaker 3: to sleep or am I going to try and be awake. Definitely, 307 00:15:43,766 --> 00:15:44,686 Speaker 3: my baby be born. 308 00:15:45,166 --> 00:15:47,766 Speaker 1: And I'm assuming your partner Hugh was in the room 309 00:15:47,766 --> 00:15:50,286 Speaker 1: at the time. Did you have a discussion about that, 310 00:15:50,566 --> 00:15:53,966 Speaker 1: Were you like, let's try or just put me under? 311 00:15:54,406 --> 00:15:58,006 Speaker 3: Yeah, So my student midwife, Indy, and him, and I 312 00:15:58,046 --> 00:15:59,966 Speaker 3: also was really lucky one of the theater nurses that 313 00:16:00,006 --> 00:16:02,566 Speaker 3: actually a family friend, so she was really good at 314 00:16:02,566 --> 00:16:04,326 Speaker 3: being sort of like a motherly figure over the top 315 00:16:04,366 --> 00:16:06,886 Speaker 3: of me, and she like, at the end of the day, 316 00:16:07,446 --> 00:16:09,966 Speaker 3: if you can't do it, you can't do it, but 317 00:16:10,046 --> 00:16:13,686 Speaker 3: why don't we try, And then said to me, we 318 00:16:13,726 --> 00:16:17,126 Speaker 3: can always try, and if you get five minutes in 319 00:16:17,206 --> 00:16:19,246 Speaker 3: and you go, I can't do this, we'll pull you 320 00:16:19,286 --> 00:16:22,326 Speaker 3: to sleep like it's fine. And I sort of was like, 321 00:16:22,926 --> 00:16:26,446 Speaker 3: I think I would prefer that I try then that 322 00:16:26,966 --> 00:16:28,766 Speaker 3: I'd just be put to sleep now. And I have 323 00:16:28,966 --> 00:16:32,166 Speaker 3: that like what if I try it? So we had 324 00:16:32,166 --> 00:16:33,966 Speaker 3: that discussion and they were like, all right, are we 325 00:16:34,006 --> 00:16:35,926 Speaker 3: getting started or not? Like we sort of had like 326 00:16:35,966 --> 00:16:39,206 Speaker 3: a good fifteen seconds to really discuss, Like it was 327 00:16:39,246 --> 00:16:41,446 Speaker 3: not a very long time, but it was like, Okay, 328 00:16:41,526 --> 00:16:43,726 Speaker 3: let's just go at it and let's just see and 329 00:16:44,006 --> 00:16:45,326 Speaker 3: fingers crossed it works. 330 00:16:45,646 --> 00:16:51,726 Speaker 1: So they will you into the operating theater and they start, yeap, 331 00:16:52,446 --> 00:16:53,486 Speaker 1: did you feel anything? 332 00:16:55,286 --> 00:16:59,646 Speaker 3: Well, So it actually turned out that Dakota's head was 333 00:16:59,726 --> 00:17:03,006 Speaker 3: jammed up in my ribs, which meant that because the 334 00:17:03,046 --> 00:17:05,966 Speaker 3: anesthetic was up to my rib cage, her head was 335 00:17:06,006 --> 00:17:09,646 Speaker 3: a little bit higher that when they started. So like, 336 00:17:09,846 --> 00:17:13,766 Speaker 3: initially it was okay, I couldn't feel really anything, a 337 00:17:13,766 --> 00:17:16,286 Speaker 3: bit of tugging, as they sort of say. But as 338 00:17:16,286 --> 00:17:19,205 Speaker 3: they sort of started to try and get her, I 339 00:17:19,246 --> 00:17:20,766 Speaker 3: was like, oh my gosh, I can feel it. I 340 00:17:20,806 --> 00:17:22,766 Speaker 3: can feel it. Oh my gosh, stop stop, I can 341 00:17:22,806 --> 00:17:24,206 Speaker 3: feel this. And they were like, no, no, it's just a 342 00:17:24,246 --> 00:17:25,846 Speaker 3: bit of tugging. I was like, no, I can But 343 00:17:25,926 --> 00:17:29,366 Speaker 3: because of where her head was and where the anithetic stopped, 344 00:17:30,326 --> 00:17:33,406 Speaker 3: I obviously could feel that's where she was they were 345 00:17:33,406 --> 00:17:34,366 Speaker 3: trying to get her from. 346 00:17:34,606 --> 00:17:40,526 Speaker 1: Yeah, so you could feel someone's hands inside you. 347 00:17:39,846 --> 00:17:43,326 Speaker 3: Right up at my roob cage, and I was like, 348 00:17:43,446 --> 00:17:44,766 Speaker 3: oh my gosh. They were like, do you want us 349 00:17:44,766 --> 00:17:46,646 Speaker 3: to put your sleep? And I was like I don't. 350 00:17:46,726 --> 00:17:49,886 Speaker 3: And in that moment, I didn't know what I wanted, Like, 351 00:17:49,926 --> 00:17:52,846 Speaker 3: I did not know. I knew that the baby was 352 00:17:52,886 --> 00:17:55,725 Speaker 3: so close to being born. I didn't know if I 353 00:17:55,766 --> 00:17:57,606 Speaker 3: wanted to be put to sleep or if I could 354 00:17:57,686 --> 00:18:01,966 Speaker 3: just try and get through it. It was insane. 355 00:18:02,606 --> 00:18:06,366 Speaker 1: I'm kind of in shock because you're you're actively feeling 356 00:18:06,406 --> 00:18:12,606 Speaker 1: someone's hands inside you, yeah, trying to pull your baby out. 357 00:18:13,046 --> 00:18:15,926 Speaker 3: Correct. So they literally said to me, we either knock 358 00:18:15,966 --> 00:18:18,406 Speaker 3: you out or we give you some like pretty strong 359 00:18:18,726 --> 00:18:22,366 Speaker 3: pain mets. And I was like, try the pain meds first, 360 00:18:22,406 --> 00:18:25,966 Speaker 3: because I was like, I've made it this far, let's 361 00:18:26,566 --> 00:18:29,926 Speaker 3: just try and get like, I'm so close. I didn't 362 00:18:29,926 --> 00:18:31,606 Speaker 3: think I would make it to this point because I 363 00:18:31,646 --> 00:18:34,886 Speaker 3: didn't with my you know, with Matilda. I was they 364 00:18:35,126 --> 00:18:38,806 Speaker 3: started and I was asleep, so like I'd got through 365 00:18:38,846 --> 00:18:42,086 Speaker 3: the first part, surely I can try and get through 366 00:18:42,126 --> 00:18:44,566 Speaker 3: the next bit. So they pumped me with a couple 367 00:18:44,606 --> 00:18:48,886 Speaker 3: of drugs, which my partner says he thought that I 368 00:18:49,006 --> 00:18:51,446 Speaker 3: wasn't awake like in the room because I was so 369 00:18:51,766 --> 00:18:54,446 Speaker 3: out of it, but I was there. My eyes were 370 00:18:54,486 --> 00:18:55,926 Speaker 3: just closed and it was like I was resting. But 371 00:18:56,686 --> 00:19:00,086 Speaker 3: I needed some serious stuff to get through that part. 372 00:19:00,886 --> 00:19:05,606 Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, Okay, So you get through it 373 00:19:05,646 --> 00:19:07,886 Speaker 1: just first of all, like the women are amazing. This 374 00:19:07,926 --> 00:19:10,446 Speaker 1: is incredible that you could just like resist that, like 375 00:19:10,646 --> 00:19:14,926 Speaker 1: deal with that kind of pain, so they eventually are 376 00:19:14,966 --> 00:19:17,566 Speaker 1: able to get her out. I'm assuming it's fairly quick 377 00:19:17,566 --> 00:19:20,286 Speaker 1: because usually see sections are fairly quick, but it probably 378 00:19:20,326 --> 00:19:21,486 Speaker 1: didn't feel quick for you. 379 00:19:21,726 --> 00:19:24,726 Speaker 3: Yeah, it felt like an eternity. But when I look back, like, 380 00:19:24,766 --> 00:19:28,046 Speaker 3: I've got some really cool live pictures, and it was 381 00:19:28,366 --> 00:19:31,366 Speaker 3: very fast. You know, I've got pictures of them pulling 382 00:19:31,486 --> 00:19:34,526 Speaker 3: her out of my rib cage, so between that and 383 00:19:34,566 --> 00:19:38,006 Speaker 3: her actually being out was very fast. But it felt 384 00:19:38,046 --> 00:19:40,286 Speaker 3: like forever in my lifetime. 385 00:19:40,926 --> 00:19:43,126 Speaker 1: But you know you said that it was healing because 386 00:19:43,166 --> 00:19:44,566 Speaker 1: you were able to be away. 387 00:19:44,526 --> 00:19:45,566 Speaker 3: Yeah, one hundred percent. 388 00:19:45,806 --> 00:19:48,446 Speaker 1: So they put Dakota straight onto your chest. 389 00:19:49,166 --> 00:19:54,126 Speaker 3: No, so they lifted her up, and obviously my partner 390 00:19:54,126 --> 00:19:58,206 Speaker 3: got to be like, it's another girl. And unfortunately when 391 00:19:58,206 --> 00:20:01,446 Speaker 3: she came out, she was a little bit purply blue. 392 00:20:02,446 --> 00:20:05,246 Speaker 3: She let out a cry, so that was amazing because 393 00:20:05,286 --> 00:20:08,366 Speaker 3: you know, obviously we didn't get to hear Matilda's first cry. 394 00:20:08,646 --> 00:20:12,126 Speaker 3: But she was a little bit not great, so they 395 00:20:12,126 --> 00:20:14,406 Speaker 3: took her straight to the rest as a tear and 396 00:20:15,166 --> 00:20:17,406 Speaker 3: she did eventually have to go straight to special care. 397 00:20:17,486 --> 00:20:20,286 Speaker 3: So I didn't actually get to do that first hold, 398 00:20:20,326 --> 00:20:23,686 Speaker 3: which is what I wanted. But I think it's still 399 00:20:24,526 --> 00:20:28,486 Speaker 3: was healing because I got to see her be in 400 00:20:28,526 --> 00:20:31,526 Speaker 3: the world for the first time, whereas I didn't with Matilda, 401 00:20:31,646 --> 00:20:35,286 Speaker 3: And I still missed out on that holding part, but 402 00:20:35,406 --> 00:20:37,846 Speaker 3: I seen her first moments, which I didn't get to 403 00:20:37,886 --> 00:20:38,526 Speaker 3: with Matilda. 404 00:20:39,206 --> 00:20:42,486 Speaker 1: Yeah, do you feel sad that you didn't get to 405 00:20:42,646 --> 00:20:46,326 Speaker 1: have that or you felt like that was what you 406 00:20:46,406 --> 00:20:47,886 Speaker 1: needed to be able to see her come out? 407 00:20:48,326 --> 00:20:53,086 Speaker 3: Yeah, I was definitely sad. I mean, she was a 408 00:20:53,086 --> 00:20:56,046 Speaker 3: little bit unwell then, so like we didn't actually get 409 00:20:56,046 --> 00:20:58,766 Speaker 3: to hold her until she was around I want to say, 410 00:20:58,846 --> 00:21:02,446 Speaker 3: twenty eight hours old, so she was like over a 411 00:21:02,526 --> 00:21:04,486 Speaker 3: day old by the time we actually got to hold 412 00:21:04,646 --> 00:21:06,926 Speaker 3: you know, we could touch her. I was definitely sad 413 00:21:06,966 --> 00:21:09,566 Speaker 3: about not getting to hold her, but I think the 414 00:21:09,606 --> 00:21:14,086 Speaker 3: fact that I got to see her be born meant 415 00:21:14,086 --> 00:21:17,046 Speaker 3: that that part isn't as I don't want to say 416 00:21:17,046 --> 00:21:20,366 Speaker 3: the word traumatic, but it doesn't hold as much in me. 417 00:21:20,446 --> 00:21:22,526 Speaker 3: That makes me super sad as what I think it 418 00:21:22,566 --> 00:21:26,206 Speaker 3: would have if I hadn't have had the experience with Matilda. 419 00:21:26,646 --> 00:21:31,246 Speaker 1: Yeah, in terms of recovery, did the anetheis tell you 420 00:21:32,006 --> 00:21:35,606 Speaker 1: anything about what it is about your genetic makeup that 421 00:21:35,686 --> 00:21:37,806 Speaker 1: makes you so resistant to anesthetic. 422 00:21:38,406 --> 00:21:41,766 Speaker 3: No, so, like they came in seeing us a couple 423 00:21:41,886 --> 00:21:43,726 Speaker 3: I think it was maybe two days later, and they 424 00:21:43,726 --> 00:21:47,606 Speaker 3: were like, we've kn't have never seen anything quite like it. 425 00:21:47,606 --> 00:21:50,246 Speaker 3: Because by the time I got to recovery, I could 426 00:21:50,326 --> 00:21:53,126 Speaker 3: feel my legs like I could wiggle and that's not 427 00:21:53,286 --> 00:21:57,446 Speaker 3: very long. They were like, this is crazy, and they 428 00:21:57,566 --> 00:21:59,686 Speaker 3: just sort of said to us, like, we might use 429 00:21:59,766 --> 00:22:03,446 Speaker 3: your story without saying who you are, but to sort 430 00:22:03,446 --> 00:22:06,926 Speaker 3: of educate other anetheists because it's not something that you know, 431 00:22:06,966 --> 00:22:09,526 Speaker 3: they've ever done before. But they sort of said to me, 432 00:22:09,606 --> 00:22:11,966 Speaker 3: I think if you have another baby, you'll need to 433 00:22:11,966 --> 00:22:13,846 Speaker 3: be under general atisthetic. 434 00:22:14,886 --> 00:22:18,166 Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, so there's just something about your makeup that 435 00:22:18,246 --> 00:22:19,926 Speaker 1: makes you resistant. 436 00:22:20,206 --> 00:22:23,846 Speaker 3: Yeah, well they think like they always say that people 437 00:22:23,886 --> 00:22:27,166 Speaker 3: with red hair have a bit of resistance to anesthetic, which, 438 00:22:27,406 --> 00:22:29,686 Speaker 3: funnily enough, my partner has red hair, and Matilda and 439 00:22:29,766 --> 00:22:32,926 Speaker 3: Dakota both have red hair, but I don't, so I 440 00:22:32,966 --> 00:22:36,766 Speaker 3: should be a redhead really, but yeah, they just don't 441 00:22:36,806 --> 00:22:40,406 Speaker 3: know why. I have since found out that I have 442 00:22:40,446 --> 00:22:43,006 Speaker 3: an auntie who had a ceserian who also had issues 443 00:22:43,046 --> 00:22:46,566 Speaker 3: with anesthetic. So whether it's something in my genetic makeup, 444 00:22:46,606 --> 00:22:48,646 Speaker 3: I'm not really sure, tell. 445 00:22:48,446 --> 00:22:51,646 Speaker 1: Me a little bit about holding Dakota for the first 446 00:22:51,726 --> 00:22:54,806 Speaker 1: time after she was born and you're in recovery. 447 00:22:55,126 --> 00:22:57,846 Speaker 3: Yeah, it was amazing. So I want to say, she's 448 00:22:57,846 --> 00:23:00,486 Speaker 3: about twenty six hours old, so she'd just been pulled 449 00:23:00,526 --> 00:23:04,606 Speaker 3: out of their humanic crib isolate sort of thing, and 450 00:23:05,006 --> 00:23:07,286 Speaker 3: how to see pat breathing thing on her and stuff 451 00:23:07,326 --> 00:23:08,766 Speaker 3: like that. So the fact that I was able to 452 00:23:08,766 --> 00:23:12,246 Speaker 3: then hold her, I think it was I won't want 453 00:23:12,246 --> 00:23:15,166 Speaker 3: to say as magical as with Matilda, but it was 454 00:23:15,286 --> 00:23:18,166 Speaker 3: really like amazing that. Okay, I got to see you 455 00:23:18,246 --> 00:23:21,286 Speaker 3: be born, whereas I didn't get to see Matilda. But 456 00:23:21,326 --> 00:23:24,646 Speaker 3: I still felt so much love even though I just 457 00:23:24,686 --> 00:23:27,246 Speaker 3: watched you in a box for so long, like I'd 458 00:23:27,286 --> 00:23:30,086 Speaker 3: just been watching you from the outside. But this was 459 00:23:30,086 --> 00:23:35,086 Speaker 3: still so incredible and it felt almost healing, Like I 460 00:23:35,126 --> 00:23:36,926 Speaker 3: got a birth where I got to see my child 461 00:23:36,966 --> 00:23:40,566 Speaker 3: be born. I was awake, I pushed through it, whereas 462 00:23:40,566 --> 00:23:43,246 Speaker 3: I could have just in that moment given up and 463 00:23:43,646 --> 00:23:45,726 Speaker 3: missed out on her birth even though it was so close. 464 00:23:46,166 --> 00:23:49,006 Speaker 3: So I think that really like healed me. Even though 465 00:23:49,006 --> 00:23:54,046 Speaker 3: the birth was still pretty intense, it was quite healing, 466 00:23:54,086 --> 00:23:54,486 Speaker 3: I guess. 467 00:23:54,846 --> 00:23:58,046 Speaker 1: Yeah, I think there's a lot of pressure to have 468 00:23:58,086 --> 00:24:00,926 Speaker 1: that golden hour, you know, the time on the chest. 469 00:24:01,086 --> 00:24:03,886 Speaker 1: But even if you don't have that, you can still 470 00:24:03,926 --> 00:24:06,646 Speaker 1: have a really beautiful experience it's with your newborn and 471 00:24:06,726 --> 00:24:08,846 Speaker 1: feel that connection straight away. 472 00:24:09,046 --> 00:24:13,126 Speaker 3: Yeah. And I think like credit to the midwife and 473 00:24:13,166 --> 00:24:16,446 Speaker 3: the doctors and everything in there, like they helped us 474 00:24:16,566 --> 00:24:18,926 Speaker 3: have the birth we wanted to, even though in that 475 00:24:19,046 --> 00:24:21,726 Speaker 3: moment they probably could have just turned around and said, no, 476 00:24:21,726 --> 00:24:23,046 Speaker 3: we need to put you to sleep, like we can't 477 00:24:23,046 --> 00:24:25,486 Speaker 3: do this, But they listened to us and that this 478 00:24:25,686 --> 00:24:28,846 Speaker 3: was what we wanted, and I'm very grateful that they 479 00:24:28,886 --> 00:24:29,406 Speaker 3: did listen. 480 00:24:30,006 --> 00:24:33,166 Speaker 1: In the end, do you think you want to have 481 00:24:33,206 --> 00:24:33,806 Speaker 1: more children? 482 00:24:34,086 --> 00:24:39,486 Speaker 3: I'm actually pregnant now, congratulations, thank you? Yeah. 483 00:24:39,646 --> 00:24:40,646 Speaker 1: How far along you? 484 00:24:40,966 --> 00:24:43,846 Speaker 3: So I'm twenty one weeks? Oh my god? Yeah? 485 00:24:43,966 --> 00:24:46,446 Speaker 1: Okay, So what is the plan with number three? Do 486 00:24:46,486 --> 00:24:47,366 Speaker 1: you have plans? 487 00:24:47,846 --> 00:24:50,566 Speaker 3: Yeah? Wow. So I went into it just assuming, as 488 00:24:50,686 --> 00:24:53,166 Speaker 3: you know you would, that I will need to have 489 00:24:53,206 --> 00:24:56,086 Speaker 3: a caesar under general and I've since have an appointment 490 00:24:56,126 --> 00:25:00,566 Speaker 3: with the Uneathanes to say let's try something different and 491 00:25:00,686 --> 00:25:03,886 Speaker 3: let's do what they called the combined epidural spinal so 492 00:25:03,886 --> 00:25:06,046 Speaker 3: where I would have both an epidural and spinal at 493 00:25:06,046 --> 00:25:09,086 Speaker 3: the same time, where they can keep topping up the 494 00:25:09,086 --> 00:25:16,046 Speaker 3: epidural dury and see if that works with the goal 495 00:25:16,086 --> 00:25:18,966 Speaker 3: that I will be awake, but with also the understanding 496 00:25:19,046 --> 00:25:21,965 Speaker 3: that it is very fine for them to click their 497 00:25:21,966 --> 00:25:24,686 Speaker 3: fingers and put me asleep if it doesn't work. But 498 00:25:24,926 --> 00:25:26,846 Speaker 3: they were more than happy for us to try and 499 00:25:26,886 --> 00:25:30,326 Speaker 3: be awake and try and get a good birth. But 500 00:25:30,406 --> 00:25:33,686 Speaker 3: even a better birth than Dakota, and hopefully a birth 501 00:25:33,766 --> 00:25:36,726 Speaker 3: with you know, being able to hold my baby for 502 00:25:36,726 --> 00:25:37,966 Speaker 3: the first time would be I deal. 503 00:25:38,366 --> 00:25:42,246 Speaker 1: Yeah, you seem very positive about these experiences, even though 504 00:25:42,446 --> 00:25:46,166 Speaker 1: from the outside might sound quite traumatic. What do you 505 00:25:46,246 --> 00:25:49,766 Speaker 1: want to sort of give people from your story. 506 00:25:50,206 --> 00:25:54,166 Speaker 3: Yeah, I think although talking to somebody it might sound 507 00:25:54,166 --> 00:25:57,246 Speaker 3: like someone's birth is traumatic, it doesn't necessarily mean that 508 00:25:57,406 --> 00:26:01,366 Speaker 3: somebody's birth is traumatic for them. And I think the 509 00:26:01,406 --> 00:26:04,086 Speaker 3: big thing for me is that I might not have 510 00:26:04,446 --> 00:26:07,286 Speaker 3: a perfect birth in comparison to some of my best 511 00:26:07,286 --> 00:26:09,886 Speaker 3: friends and some of my close friends, but it doesn't 512 00:26:09,926 --> 00:26:12,606 Speaker 3: mean that it's not a really good berth for me. 513 00:26:13,206 --> 00:26:15,006 Speaker 3: And I think that's one of the things that I've 514 00:26:15,046 --> 00:26:20,966 Speaker 3: found is talking to friends and family, I lack that Yes, 515 00:26:21,086 --> 00:26:24,486 Speaker 3: my story is a lot and it's not the norm. 516 00:26:25,006 --> 00:26:29,486 Speaker 3: But also I don't think of my berths as hugely traumatic. 517 00:26:29,846 --> 00:26:32,766 Speaker 3: So I think holding space for others to be able 518 00:26:32,806 --> 00:26:34,726 Speaker 3: to tell their story because it might not actually be 519 00:26:34,726 --> 00:26:37,566 Speaker 3: as traumatic as you might think it is just from 520 00:26:37,606 --> 00:26:39,926 Speaker 3: hearing it, I think that is a huge thing. 521 00:26:40,246 --> 00:26:43,326 Speaker 1: Yeah, you still had a beautiful experience even if it 522 00:26:43,446 --> 00:26:45,206 Speaker 1: wasn't a traditional one. 523 00:26:45,526 --> 00:26:48,326 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, absolutely, I still think it was healing and 524 00:26:48,366 --> 00:26:50,806 Speaker 3: it was beautiful to be able to see her be born, 525 00:26:51,366 --> 00:26:55,566 Speaker 3: even if it wasn't the picture perfect. Everything went to 526 00:26:55,646 --> 00:26:58,446 Speaker 3: plan birth that you know some people have. 527 00:26:58,886 --> 00:27:01,006 Speaker 1: I know you kept the first two as surprised. Do 528 00:27:01,046 --> 00:27:02,486 Speaker 1: you know what you're having this time around? 529 00:27:02,846 --> 00:27:06,806 Speaker 3: No, but this pregnancy has been wildly different, so who knows. 530 00:27:07,966 --> 00:27:10,446 Speaker 1: Well, Jordan, thank you so much for sharing your story. 531 00:27:10,646 --> 00:27:14,726 Speaker 1: It's fascinating and I'm very happy for you, and I 532 00:27:14,726 --> 00:27:18,806 Speaker 1: hope that your third bub comes out safe and sound. Yeah, 533 00:27:18,886 --> 00:27:21,566 Speaker 1: thank you, but yeah, you're like a superhero. 534 00:27:22,406 --> 00:27:24,246 Speaker 3: Thank you so much for having me. It's been great 535 00:27:24,286 --> 00:27:27,166 Speaker 3: to share, and I'm so glad that I was able 536 00:27:27,206 --> 00:27:29,246 Speaker 3: to share a story that I guess you don't really 537 00:27:29,246 --> 00:27:29,966 Speaker 3: hear very often. 538 00:27:37,806 --> 00:27:40,566 Speaker 1: Diary of a birth was hosted by me Casenya Lukich. 539 00:27:40,646 --> 00:27:43,046 Speaker 1: If you like our show, don't forget to subscribe and 540 00:27:43,286 --> 00:27:46,086 Speaker 1: rate goes a long way to allowing us to continue 541 00:27:46,166 --> 00:27:50,726 Speaker 1: sharing your stories. This episode was produced by Ella Maitland 542 00:27:50,766 --> 00:27:54,806 Speaker 1: and myself Casenya Lukich, with audio production by Tina Matalov. 543 00:28:02,126 --> 00:28:05,206 Speaker 1: Mama Mia acknowledges the traditional owners of the land. 544 00:28:05,286 --> 00:28:08,686 Speaker 3: We have recorded this podcast on the Gadigul people of 545 00:28:08,766 --> 00:28:09,646 Speaker 3: the eorination. 546 00:28:10,446 --> 00:28:13,246 Speaker 2: We pay our respects to their elders past and present, 547 00:28:13,646 --> 00:28:16,926 Speaker 2: and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and torrest Rate 548 00:28:17,006 --> 00:28:17,926 Speaker 2: islander cultures.