1 00:00:10,614 --> 00:00:15,294 Speaker 1: You're listening to a Muma Mia podcast. Mamma Mia acknowledges 2 00:00:15,334 --> 00:00:18,174 Speaker 1: the traditional owners of land and waters that this podcast 3 00:00:18,214 --> 00:00:24,374 Speaker 1: is recorded on Hi. I'm Claire Murphy. This is Mumma 4 00:00:24,414 --> 00:00:29,054 Speaker 1: MIA's daily news podcast, The Quikie. Recently, Mummy published an 5 00:00:29,134 --> 00:00:31,174 Speaker 1: article on site which you can read if you want to. 6 00:00:31,214 --> 00:00:33,694 Speaker 1: The link is in our show notes. It came from 7 00:00:33,774 --> 00:00:36,894 Speaker 1: an anonymous writer who admitted that she's had to split 8 00:00:36,974 --> 00:00:40,574 Speaker 1: her family into her children's father living in a separate house, 9 00:00:40,934 --> 00:00:43,734 Speaker 1: not because of their relationship struggles, but because they have 10 00:00:43,854 --> 00:00:48,094 Speaker 1: to protect their young daughter from their oldest son. He's autistic, 11 00:00:48,254 --> 00:00:51,694 Speaker 1: and despite loving his little sister desperately, he can't stop 12 00:00:51,774 --> 00:00:54,654 Speaker 1: himself from hurting her. Today we speak to the parents 13 00:00:54,654 --> 00:00:57,374 Speaker 1: of autistic ASIE kids to find out what they want 14 00:00:57,374 --> 00:00:59,854 Speaker 1: the country to note about the lives of their children 15 00:01:00,094 --> 00:01:02,054 Speaker 1: and the measures they have to go to just to 16 00:01:02,054 --> 00:01:04,494 Speaker 1: get through a day. But before we do that, here's 17 00:01:04,534 --> 00:01:07,654 Speaker 1: the letters from the Cookie Newsroom. Monday, September ninth, The 18 00:01:07,774 --> 00:01:10,854 Speaker 1: Labor government has announced they willing include questions about both 19 00:01:10,894 --> 00:01:14,374 Speaker 1: sexual orientation and gender in the twenty twenty sixth census 20 00:01:14,414 --> 00:01:16,734 Speaker 1: as they try to recover from the fallout of first 21 00:01:16,814 --> 00:01:20,614 Speaker 1: excluding them. Treasurer Jim Chalmers confirmed the question's inclusion on 22 00:01:20,654 --> 00:01:23,654 Speaker 1: the weekend. The Australian Bureau of Statistics yet to reveal 23 00:01:23,734 --> 00:01:26,534 Speaker 1: exactly how they'll read, but that the census will now 24 00:01:26,574 --> 00:01:29,134 Speaker 1: include a whole new topic that will allow for multiple 25 00:01:29,174 --> 00:01:33,334 Speaker 1: questions covering both sexual orientation and gender. After the Labor 26 00:01:33,374 --> 00:01:36,494 Speaker 1: Government previously said this wouldn't happen as they didn't want 27 00:01:36,534 --> 00:01:40,054 Speaker 1: it to cause division across the Australian community, Chalmers told 28 00:01:40,094 --> 00:01:42,574 Speaker 1: the ABC that they had good intentions and have now 29 00:01:42,614 --> 00:01:45,174 Speaker 1: listened to the community and worked with the ABS to 30 00:01:45,174 --> 00:01:47,414 Speaker 1: find the best way through. The man who was at 31 00:01:47,414 --> 00:01:48,974 Speaker 1: the wheel of a bus that crashed in the New 32 00:01:48,974 --> 00:01:51,894 Speaker 1: South Wales Hunter Valley, killing ten wedding guests and injuring 33 00:01:51,934 --> 00:01:54,934 Speaker 1: dozens more, will face a three day court hearing to 34 00:01:54,974 --> 00:01:58,294 Speaker 1: decide his sentence this week. Brett Button admitted to taking 35 00:01:58,294 --> 00:02:01,214 Speaker 1: a large amount of painkillers before driving the guests home 36 00:02:01,334 --> 00:02:04,054 Speaker 1: after a night of celebration. The fifty nine year old 37 00:02:04,134 --> 00:02:06,934 Speaker 1: losing control of the vehicle on a roundabout, causing the 38 00:02:06,974 --> 00:02:10,214 Speaker 1: bus to tip on its side and slide. Sick analysis 39 00:02:10,214 --> 00:02:13,574 Speaker 1: suggests he took four hundred milligrams of the opioid tramadol, 40 00:02:13,654 --> 00:02:18,014 Speaker 1: which side effects include drowsiness, mental clouding, and visual function deficiencies. 41 00:02:18,374 --> 00:02:21,134 Speaker 1: Button told passengers who asked him to slow down that 42 00:02:21,214 --> 00:02:23,534 Speaker 1: if they liked that last corner, they were going to 43 00:02:23,734 --> 00:02:26,094 Speaker 1: like this one, saying he was trying to create a 44 00:02:26,094 --> 00:02:29,174 Speaker 1: party atmosphere on the drive home. The hearing will likely 45 00:02:29,214 --> 00:02:32,454 Speaker 1: here victim impacts statements from the family members of those killed. 46 00:02:32,734 --> 00:02:35,334 Speaker 1: Button pleaded guilty to all counts and has been held 47 00:02:35,374 --> 00:02:38,774 Speaker 1: in the Shortland Correctional Center at Cesnock. The mother of 48 00:02:38,814 --> 00:02:41,614 Speaker 1: a fourteen year old boy who allegedly killed two teachers 49 00:02:41,654 --> 00:02:43,774 Speaker 1: and two students at his school in the US state 50 00:02:43,814 --> 00:02:47,494 Speaker 1: of Georgia called and warned them before it happened. Annie 51 00:02:47,534 --> 00:02:50,574 Speaker 1: Brown told The Washington Post that her sister, the shooter's mother, 52 00:02:51,014 --> 00:02:53,894 Speaker 1: texted her to say that she'd spoken with the school counselor, 53 00:02:54,294 --> 00:02:56,854 Speaker 1: urging them to immediately find her son and check on 54 00:02:56,934 --> 00:02:59,974 Speaker 1: him after he sent her a message saying sorry. Her 55 00:03:00,014 --> 00:03:02,774 Speaker 1: call log show she called them around thirty minutes before 56 00:03:02,814 --> 00:03:05,374 Speaker 1: the shooting. The fourteen year old has been charged with 57 00:03:05,494 --> 00:03:08,534 Speaker 1: murder alongside his father, who's also been charged with second 58 00:03:08,534 --> 00:03:11,974 Speaker 1: degree murder providing his son with a semi automatic ar 59 00:03:12,054 --> 00:03:15,934 Speaker 1: style rifle. He performed as a guest artist in twenty 60 00:03:15,934 --> 00:03:19,094 Speaker 1: twenty two alongside Doctor Dre, Snoop Dogg, Mary J. Blige, 61 00:03:19,134 --> 00:03:21,734 Speaker 1: Fifty Cent and M and M. But now Kendrick Lamar 62 00:03:21,854 --> 00:03:25,334 Speaker 1: will be headlining his own Super Bowl halftime show. The 63 00:03:25,414 --> 00:03:28,054 Speaker 1: Rapper has been announced as the halftime entertainment for the 64 00:03:28,054 --> 00:03:31,534 Speaker 1: February twenty twenty five show. Lamar releasing a statement saying 65 00:03:31,654 --> 00:03:34,534 Speaker 1: rap music is still the most impactful genre to date, 66 00:03:34,894 --> 00:03:37,534 Speaker 1: saying he'll be there to remind the world why. The 67 00:03:37,574 --> 00:03:40,414 Speaker 1: halftime show will be held on February nine at Caesars 68 00:03:40,454 --> 00:03:45,854 Speaker 1: Superdome in New Orleans. The Pulse on Paris as this 69 00:03:45,934 --> 00:03:49,374 Speaker 1: episode of the Quickie is published. The Paralympics closing ceremony 70 00:03:49,534 --> 00:03:53,214 Speaker 1: is underway in Paris, with triathlon and cycling gold medalist 71 00:03:53,294 --> 00:03:57,214 Speaker 1: Lauren Parker and Athletic Jewel gold medalist James Turner carrying 72 00:03:57,214 --> 00:04:00,454 Speaker 1: the Australian flag into the Star de France. Ozzie T 73 00:04:00,534 --> 00:04:04,574 Speaker 1: fifty four marathon silver medalist Madison de Rosario has revealed 74 00:04:04,574 --> 00:04:06,814 Speaker 1: that while she was holding the flag in the opening 75 00:04:06,854 --> 00:04:11,014 Speaker 1: ceremony of the Paralympics, her father passed She also won 76 00:04:11,094 --> 00:04:13,854 Speaker 1: bronze in the five thousand meter events, admitting it has 77 00:04:13,934 --> 00:04:16,694 Speaker 1: been a challenging time for her, but also something that 78 00:04:16,734 --> 00:04:19,854 Speaker 1: gave her perspective, saying she's so much happier with silver. 79 00:04:20,334 --> 00:04:23,414 Speaker 1: Australia finished ninth on the medal tally with eighteen gold, 80 00:04:23,534 --> 00:04:27,054 Speaker 1: seventeen silver and twenty eight bronze. That's what's happening around 81 00:04:27,054 --> 00:04:29,854 Speaker 1: the world today. Next, we ask parents of autistic kids 82 00:04:30,174 --> 00:04:43,654 Speaker 1: what they want us to know. The ABC's new TV show, 83 00:04:43,694 --> 00:04:46,334 Speaker 1: The Assembly is showing the world just how the minds 84 00:04:46,334 --> 00:04:50,014 Speaker 1: of autistic ossies work. The questions the group post to 85 00:04:50,054 --> 00:04:52,694 Speaker 1: some of the country's most high profile individuals like the 86 00:04:52,734 --> 00:04:57,334 Speaker 1: Prime Minister, actors, comedians and radio hosts are insightful, interesting, 87 00:04:57,734 --> 00:05:00,894 Speaker 1: and sometimes delving into unexpectedly emotional territory. 88 00:05:01,094 --> 00:05:04,614 Speaker 2: What is the best lesson you learned from your parents? 89 00:05:06,694 --> 00:05:13,454 Speaker 3: Oh? I don't know why. The questions moved me so much. 90 00:05:13,574 --> 00:05:14,774 Speaker 4: Do you love your husband? 91 00:05:15,294 --> 00:05:17,134 Speaker 1: Oh? 92 00:05:17,214 --> 00:05:20,014 Speaker 4: That is a beautiful question. I think I feel like 93 00:05:20,054 --> 00:05:22,054 Speaker 4: I'm going to cry because my husband's going through some 94 00:05:22,054 --> 00:05:26,614 Speaker 4: stuff at the moment. My husband has Parkinson's disease and 95 00:05:26,734 --> 00:05:30,974 Speaker 4: we'd be married thirty four years and life is changing 96 00:05:31,014 --> 00:05:31,654 Speaker 4: around US. 97 00:05:32,854 --> 00:05:36,174 Speaker 1: The program aims to show how autistic Australians who've had 98 00:05:36,294 --> 00:05:38,974 Speaker 1: very little voice in the country's media landscape, can be 99 00:05:38,974 --> 00:05:42,334 Speaker 1: an integral part of the Australian conversation. But it also 100 00:05:42,414 --> 00:05:44,894 Speaker 1: makes it clear just how little some of us may 101 00:05:44,934 --> 00:05:48,694 Speaker 1: know about neurodiversity. But it also makes it clear just 102 00:05:48,774 --> 00:05:55,374 Speaker 1: how little some of us may know about neurodiversity. When 103 00:05:55,454 --> 00:05:58,574 Speaker 1: Mummamya published a story recently from a writer who chose 104 00:05:58,614 --> 00:06:01,134 Speaker 1: to remain anonymous about how she's had to move her 105 00:06:01,214 --> 00:06:04,574 Speaker 1: children into separate houses due to the aggression her autistic 106 00:06:04,614 --> 00:06:07,854 Speaker 1: son shows towards her younger daughter, something that is breaking 107 00:06:07,894 --> 00:06:11,094 Speaker 1: her heart and also draining her findinancially and emotionally, but 108 00:06:11,174 --> 00:06:14,214 Speaker 1: as necessary for the whole family's well being. The response 109 00:06:14,494 --> 00:06:18,494 Speaker 1: was overwhelming. People were relieved to hear truths being shared, 110 00:06:18,774 --> 00:06:21,614 Speaker 1: feeling they've had to stay quiet about the toughest parts 111 00:06:21,614 --> 00:06:26,254 Speaker 1: of parenting neurodiverse children. Autism rates in Australian children are 112 00:06:26,334 --> 00:06:29,774 Speaker 1: currently the highest in the world. In fact, diagnosis rates 113 00:06:29,774 --> 00:06:33,614 Speaker 1: arising in many developed nations, but experts attribute the spike 114 00:06:33,654 --> 00:06:36,734 Speaker 1: in Australia's numbers to the financial support given by the 115 00:06:36,854 --> 00:06:41,134 Speaker 1: NDIS or national disability insurance scheme giving parents and adults 116 00:06:41,134 --> 00:06:44,214 Speaker 1: the opportunity to even get a diagnosis where they otherwise 117 00:06:44,254 --> 00:06:47,774 Speaker 1: wouldn't have been able to afford to and the experiences 118 00:06:47,894 --> 00:06:51,134 Speaker 1: of those parents and children, while incredibly diverse and as 119 00:06:51,134 --> 00:06:54,934 Speaker 1: wide as the spectrum itself, they also share many similarities. 120 00:06:55,334 --> 00:06:57,254 Speaker 1: So we asked you to share the things that you 121 00:06:57,374 --> 00:07:00,494 Speaker 1: want people to know as a parent of a neurodivergent child, 122 00:07:00,854 --> 00:07:06,574 Speaker 1: some who are also neurodivergent themselves. Elvira is the mum 123 00:07:06,654 --> 00:07:09,094 Speaker 1: of two autistic teens and wants everyone to know the 124 00:07:09,094 --> 00:07:12,494 Speaker 1: support crew that they've had over the years have been invaluable. 125 00:07:12,694 --> 00:07:16,414 Speaker 5: Firstly, I wanted to share how fabulous their early childhood 126 00:07:16,494 --> 00:07:20,934 Speaker 5: educators were in shaping their emotional and social capacities. They're 127 00:07:20,974 --> 00:07:24,254 Speaker 5: both currently in high school and all their teachers are 128 00:07:24,294 --> 00:07:28,934 Speaker 5: exceptional in supporting them. So shout out all the fabulous educators. 129 00:07:29,454 --> 00:07:31,774 Speaker 1: That's something that Gabby, the mum of a young autistic 130 00:07:31,814 --> 00:07:35,094 Speaker 1: son and whose neurodivergent herself, says has been a game 131 00:07:35,214 --> 00:07:36,654 Speaker 1: changer for them to I. 132 00:07:36,614 --> 00:07:40,854 Speaker 6: Am incredibly grateful for our NDIS with the tens of 133 00:07:40,894 --> 00:07:45,134 Speaker 6: thousands of dollars we get with that enables him to 134 00:07:45,294 --> 00:07:50,374 Speaker 6: have therapies because without his speech pathologist, he would not 135 00:07:50,574 --> 00:07:54,374 Speaker 6: be able to communicate as well as he is, And 136 00:07:54,574 --> 00:07:58,254 Speaker 6: without his psychologist, I wouldn't be able to have the 137 00:07:58,294 --> 00:08:01,974 Speaker 6: strategies that I have to help and support him and 138 00:08:02,334 --> 00:08:06,614 Speaker 6: to try and regulate his behavior and emotions, to help 139 00:08:06,654 --> 00:08:09,694 Speaker 6: him with his fine motor skills and his gross motor skills. 140 00:08:10,574 --> 00:08:12,974 Speaker 6: And for all of the times that I've cried on 141 00:08:13,014 --> 00:08:14,214 Speaker 6: their shoulders. 142 00:08:15,734 --> 00:08:17,814 Speaker 1: Many of the parents we spoke to said, there's one 143 00:08:17,854 --> 00:08:19,894 Speaker 1: thing that gets said to them all the time, and 144 00:08:20,014 --> 00:08:23,494 Speaker 1: it needs to stop. That's saying that their children don't 145 00:08:23,534 --> 00:08:27,894 Speaker 1: seem or look autistic. Elvirus says sometimes family members will 146 00:08:27,934 --> 00:08:29,774 Speaker 1: even push back on the diagnosis. 147 00:08:30,094 --> 00:08:33,094 Speaker 5: Stop telling people they're autistic because they're just normal kids. 148 00:08:33,574 --> 00:08:36,854 Speaker 5: There are so many microaggressions and judgments that are subtle 149 00:08:37,214 --> 00:08:40,534 Speaker 5: but hurtful, and sometimes I do spend my days depressed 150 00:08:40,534 --> 00:08:43,374 Speaker 5: by the commentary, and it's especially hurtful when it comes 151 00:08:43,374 --> 00:08:44,254 Speaker 5: from people I love. 152 00:08:45,134 --> 00:08:47,574 Speaker 1: Sally says this is something her teenage daughter gets to 153 00:08:47,854 --> 00:08:50,494 Speaker 1: people playing down the serious challenges she faces. 154 00:08:51,054 --> 00:08:54,134 Speaker 7: She would like people to not say to her, I 155 00:08:54,214 --> 00:08:57,654 Speaker 7: think everyone is a bit autistic, or you're just quirky, 156 00:08:57,694 --> 00:09:01,294 Speaker 7: and you have funny or different personality traits. This really 157 00:09:01,294 --> 00:09:04,014 Speaker 7: does upset my teenage daughter because she has struggled her 158 00:09:04,094 --> 00:09:08,534 Speaker 7: whole life, and it does discount that her challenges might 159 00:09:08,614 --> 00:09:10,854 Speaker 7: just be something that she should get over and cope 160 00:09:10,894 --> 00:09:12,934 Speaker 7: with because everyone else seems to be able to. 161 00:09:13,894 --> 00:09:17,174 Speaker 1: Gabby says, the denial of children being autistic weighs heavy 162 00:09:17,214 --> 00:09:19,014 Speaker 1: on parents who are dealing with it every day. 163 00:09:19,374 --> 00:09:23,174 Speaker 8: When well meaning people say that my son doesn't look 164 00:09:23,294 --> 00:09:27,094 Speaker 8: or seem autistic, that's very hard for me to hear 165 00:09:27,454 --> 00:09:32,334 Speaker 8: because they don't see the everyday struggles that he goes through, 166 00:09:32,454 --> 00:09:37,334 Speaker 8: and the anxiety and separation anxiety he has every day, 167 00:09:38,334 --> 00:09:41,734 Speaker 8: or the overwhelm he feels walking into a shopping center, 168 00:09:42,094 --> 00:09:46,894 Speaker 8: whether he becomes extremely hyperactive and unmanageable with his behavior 169 00:09:47,814 --> 00:09:53,414 Speaker 8: or internalizers and can't handle the noise and the lights 170 00:09:53,454 --> 00:09:54,854 Speaker 8: and all of the people. 171 00:09:57,334 --> 00:10:00,054 Speaker 1: We heard from parents who told us that equality and 172 00:10:00,214 --> 00:10:03,134 Speaker 1: equity aren't the same thing. That inviting someone with a 173 00:10:03,174 --> 00:10:06,014 Speaker 1: disability to an event doesn't mean it's equal. You have 174 00:10:06,054 --> 00:10:09,134 Speaker 1: to also ask whether that event is autism friendly, safe, 175 00:10:09,174 --> 00:10:11,854 Speaker 1: and whether they have the choice to refuse that invitation 176 00:10:11,974 --> 00:10:15,054 Speaker 1: at all. Allison pleaded with us not to tell her 177 00:10:15,174 --> 00:10:17,894 Speaker 1: to better discipline her child, calling for us to instead 178 00:10:17,974 --> 00:10:21,174 Speaker 1: understand that they see the world differently and we're all different, 179 00:10:21,214 --> 00:10:24,094 Speaker 1: which is okay. Kylie called out that there are many 180 00:10:24,134 --> 00:10:28,534 Speaker 1: subgroups of the autism spectrum, like PDA, a nervous system disability, 181 00:10:28,654 --> 00:10:31,214 Speaker 1: which requires her to parent very differently, and then it 182 00:10:31,254 --> 00:10:33,414 Speaker 1: can be really hard to explain to anyone not in 183 00:10:33,414 --> 00:10:36,054 Speaker 1: the middle of it all. Charlotte wanted us to know 184 00:10:36,094 --> 00:10:38,894 Speaker 1: that when parents of neurodivergent children reach out and say 185 00:10:38,934 --> 00:10:42,334 Speaker 1: they can't handle their own child's behavior or aggression, it's 186 00:10:42,374 --> 00:10:44,414 Speaker 1: not helpful to tell them that their child acts like 187 00:10:44,414 --> 00:10:47,294 Speaker 1: an angel in other settings. She says, please believe them 188 00:10:47,294 --> 00:10:50,814 Speaker 1: when they say they act differently at home. Tamara said 189 00:10:50,854 --> 00:10:53,934 Speaker 1: she wants Australia to understand what Kara burnout looks like 190 00:10:54,014 --> 00:10:57,574 Speaker 1: for parents of neurodivergent children. Something Simone, the mum of 191 00:10:57,574 --> 00:10:59,814 Speaker 1: a ten year old autistic boy, who she says is 192 00:10:59,854 --> 00:11:01,854 Speaker 1: the center of her whole world and someone she'd much 193 00:11:01,974 --> 00:11:05,374 Speaker 1: rather spend time within anyone else understands. She says she 194 00:11:05,454 --> 00:11:08,214 Speaker 1: wishes people knew that she isn't just his mum, she 195 00:11:08,494 --> 00:11:09,414 Speaker 1: is his care too. 196 00:11:10,054 --> 00:11:13,374 Speaker 9: I find that a lot of people, and often it's 197 00:11:13,414 --> 00:11:16,174 Speaker 9: women that I'm speaking to, but I find that women 198 00:11:16,214 --> 00:11:20,174 Speaker 9: get quite uncomfortable with my definition of what I do 199 00:11:20,294 --> 00:11:25,454 Speaker 9: for my son in my caring capacity, because there's quite 200 00:11:25,814 --> 00:11:29,574 Speaker 9: a line that is more like, well, but you're his mother, 201 00:11:29,654 --> 00:11:32,574 Speaker 9: of course, you're his care Yes, you do anything for him, 202 00:11:32,974 --> 00:11:35,254 Speaker 9: and all of those things are one hundred and ten 203 00:11:35,294 --> 00:11:40,094 Speaker 9: percent true, But there are fundamental differences between parenting a 204 00:11:40,094 --> 00:11:43,374 Speaker 9: ten year old neurodivergent child and parenting a ten year 205 00:11:43,374 --> 00:11:45,694 Speaker 9: old neurotypical child. 206 00:11:47,934 --> 00:11:50,374 Speaker 1: Some mine says and morning routine is like everyone else 207 00:11:50,454 --> 00:11:53,134 Speaker 1: is like completely hectic, but that they have some unique 208 00:11:53,174 --> 00:11:54,574 Speaker 1: challenges to face. On top of that. 209 00:11:54,934 --> 00:11:58,774 Speaker 9: The physicality of my job as his mum and Carara 210 00:11:59,534 --> 00:12:02,654 Speaker 9: is something that I think people take for granted. Like 211 00:12:02,734 --> 00:12:05,934 Speaker 9: when I say I've got a bad back, I really 212 00:12:05,974 --> 00:12:09,174 Speaker 9: have a bad back. He's a tall boy and a 213 00:12:09,174 --> 00:12:15,174 Speaker 9: strong boy, and it can't toilet without my assistance, and 214 00:12:15,614 --> 00:12:18,654 Speaker 9: that's a lot of holding him up, that's a lot 215 00:12:18,814 --> 00:12:23,814 Speaker 9: of wiping for him, that's a lot of negotiating if 216 00:12:23,934 --> 00:12:26,774 Speaker 9: we're somewhere where he does have to go to the toilet, 217 00:12:26,854 --> 00:12:30,574 Speaker 9: but he can't cope with the smell, or trying on 218 00:12:30,734 --> 00:12:33,894 Speaker 9: five pairs of socks to get the right socks, even 219 00:12:33,934 --> 00:12:38,094 Speaker 9: though I sauce the seam free socks. It's what seam 220 00:12:38,134 --> 00:12:40,574 Speaker 9: free socks are going to work on that particular day, 221 00:12:41,574 --> 00:12:45,174 Speaker 9: and it's those things that are just taxing on a 222 00:12:45,254 --> 00:12:46,134 Speaker 9: daily basis. 223 00:12:47,214 --> 00:12:50,454 Speaker 1: Some parents told us that their kids crave social interaction, 224 00:12:50,534 --> 00:12:52,974 Speaker 1: but at the same time find it really hard to connect. 225 00:12:53,294 --> 00:12:56,734 Speaker 1: Some revealed their children get bullied at school. Sally says 226 00:12:56,814 --> 00:12:59,694 Speaker 1: her daughter struggles to make people understand that sometimes when 227 00:12:59,694 --> 00:13:02,374 Speaker 1: she's talking, she doesn't realize she's being a bit too 228 00:13:02,454 --> 00:13:03,374 Speaker 1: much of a straight shooter. 229 00:13:03,774 --> 00:13:06,574 Speaker 7: Her straight talking can come across as rude or blunt, 230 00:13:06,934 --> 00:13:09,734 Speaker 7: and it has cost her friendships in the past. I've 231 00:13:09,734 --> 00:13:11,774 Speaker 7: tried to explain to other parents that when she does 232 00:13:11,814 --> 00:13:15,414 Speaker 7: say no to play opportunities or certain activities that she 233 00:13:15,734 --> 00:13:18,214 Speaker 7: doesn't want to do, doesn't mean that she's rude. She's 234 00:13:18,254 --> 00:13:20,134 Speaker 7: just cutting to the chase and giving them a straight 235 00:13:20,214 --> 00:13:20,974 Speaker 7: laced answer. 236 00:13:23,414 --> 00:13:27,614 Speaker 1: Emily is a neurodivergent mum who's also parenting a neurodivergent son. 237 00:13:27,854 --> 00:13:30,534 Speaker 1: She teaches autistic children and runs a company called A 238 00:13:30,654 --> 00:13:34,894 Speaker 1: Firm with Me, which helps educate people about neurodiversity, Emily, 239 00:13:35,054 --> 00:13:37,534 Speaker 1: what was it like for you growing up compared to 240 00:13:37,534 --> 00:13:39,814 Speaker 1: what you see your son facing now? Is it very 241 00:13:39,854 --> 00:13:40,334 Speaker 1: different now? 242 00:13:40,374 --> 00:13:44,014 Speaker 3: You think? I think it's very very different. 243 00:13:44,654 --> 00:13:48,454 Speaker 2: I am diagnosed as a neurodivergent late, you know, as 244 00:13:48,454 --> 00:13:51,974 Speaker 2: an adult, whereas with my son in particular, you know, 245 00:13:52,014 --> 00:13:54,534 Speaker 2: we knew from a very very early age. So I 246 00:13:54,534 --> 00:13:56,854 Speaker 2: think I came into it with a lot more education, 247 00:13:56,974 --> 00:13:59,214 Speaker 2: and we know a lot more these days compared to 248 00:13:59,614 --> 00:14:02,134 Speaker 2: you know, what my parents knew and what their generation knew. 249 00:14:02,614 --> 00:14:05,174 Speaker 2: But I'd also say that, you know, we often say 250 00:14:05,214 --> 00:14:07,654 Speaker 2: if you've met one, you're a divergent person. You've met one, 251 00:14:07,654 --> 00:14:08,694 Speaker 2: you're a divergent person. 252 00:14:09,254 --> 00:14:10,494 Speaker 3: So you know, the. 253 00:14:10,454 --> 00:14:14,174 Speaker 2: Experiences are so varied we really can't pigeonhole them into 254 00:14:14,334 --> 00:14:15,974 Speaker 2: one particular box. 255 00:14:16,574 --> 00:14:22,134 Speaker 1: Now you teach children with autism, what's that like? Because 256 00:14:22,174 --> 00:14:23,934 Speaker 1: I mean, I know that there are some parents who 257 00:14:23,934 --> 00:14:26,934 Speaker 1: would prefer their children, whether they're neurodiversent or not, or 258 00:14:26,974 --> 00:14:30,374 Speaker 1: have physical disabilities, would like them to be in mainstream 259 00:14:30,414 --> 00:14:33,414 Speaker 1: schools because you know, that's what the world looks like. 260 00:14:33,534 --> 00:14:37,054 Speaker 1: We can't pigeonhole everyone away depending on what their mental 261 00:14:37,054 --> 00:14:40,134 Speaker 1: health is or their physical health. Is, for example, what 262 00:14:40,294 --> 00:14:43,174 Speaker 1: is it like to teach children with autism and how 263 00:14:43,174 --> 00:14:45,694 Speaker 1: do you feel about the debate about whether they should 264 00:14:45,734 --> 00:14:48,774 Speaker 1: be taught differently or whether they should be involved in 265 00:14:48,814 --> 00:14:50,414 Speaker 1: mainstream school I. 266 00:14:50,414 --> 00:14:54,574 Speaker 2: Love, absolutely love teaching children who are autistic, and I 267 00:14:54,574 --> 00:14:57,214 Speaker 2: do work within a mainstream school, so I'm primarily working 268 00:14:57,214 --> 00:14:59,694 Speaker 2: in small groups, which is a very different experience to 269 00:14:59,814 --> 00:15:02,894 Speaker 2: working within the classroom, which I also have done previously. 270 00:15:03,374 --> 00:15:06,614 Speaker 2: But I think, you know, as a whole, teachers are 271 00:15:06,654 --> 00:15:11,054 Speaker 2: doing their absolute best to you know, teach a varied 272 00:15:11,734 --> 00:15:15,894 Speaker 2: cohort of students. But really there's that systemic issue of 273 00:15:15,934 --> 00:15:19,854 Speaker 2: there not being enough support within schools, and you know, 274 00:15:20,054 --> 00:15:22,494 Speaker 2: that's not at a school level, that's really at you know, 275 00:15:22,694 --> 00:15:26,574 Speaker 2: goes beyond that at a government level. So while we 276 00:15:26,694 --> 00:15:29,054 Speaker 2: know what needs to be happening, and personally I want 277 00:15:29,094 --> 00:15:32,134 Speaker 2: to be able to do everything I can to teach 278 00:15:32,294 --> 00:15:34,814 Speaker 2: the autistic children that I am teaching in the way 279 00:15:35,054 --> 00:15:38,894 Speaker 2: that works for them, it can be really difficult because 280 00:15:38,894 --> 00:15:43,134 Speaker 2: of resourcing and because of people power. So while I 281 00:15:43,214 --> 00:15:46,214 Speaker 2: don't believe that we, you know, we should be segregating 282 00:15:46,214 --> 00:15:49,454 Speaker 2: our children into groups, I think it really comes down 283 00:15:49,494 --> 00:15:52,974 Speaker 2: to that whole overarching support for all students and being 284 00:15:53,014 --> 00:15:55,214 Speaker 2: able to tailor that because of the resources that we 285 00:15:55,294 --> 00:15:58,174 Speaker 2: have Emily, I think. 286 00:15:58,054 --> 00:16:01,654 Speaker 1: What a lot of people struggle with who aren't neurodiverted themselves, 287 00:16:01,734 --> 00:16:03,334 Speaker 1: or who maybe don't have someone in their sphere that 288 00:16:03,374 --> 00:16:05,894 Speaker 1: they know well enough is how to talk about it 289 00:16:06,454 --> 00:16:10,094 Speaker 1: and even the right language to use when discussed. Do 290 00:16:10,174 --> 00:16:12,934 Speaker 1: I say someone with autism or do I say they're autistic? 291 00:16:13,054 --> 00:16:15,934 Speaker 1: Like how important is the language around how we discuss 292 00:16:16,014 --> 00:16:16,454 Speaker 1: these things. 293 00:16:16,734 --> 00:16:20,134 Speaker 2: That's a really great question, and the autistic community has 294 00:16:20,294 --> 00:16:23,894 Speaker 2: really tried to reframe that idea of how we speak 295 00:16:23,934 --> 00:16:27,574 Speaker 2: about us because we believe that being autistic is part 296 00:16:27,574 --> 00:16:31,174 Speaker 2: of our identity. We're trying to really encourage that identity 297 00:16:31,214 --> 00:16:33,654 Speaker 2: first language. Now, obviously there's always going to be people 298 00:16:33,654 --> 00:16:35,854 Speaker 2: that prefer a different type of language, and you can 299 00:16:35,934 --> 00:16:38,134 Speaker 2: speak to them about that, but as a whole, we 300 00:16:38,174 --> 00:16:40,774 Speaker 2: want to be saying the child is autistic, not they 301 00:16:40,934 --> 00:16:44,934 Speaker 2: have autism. And when we say that they have autism, 302 00:16:44,974 --> 00:16:48,574 Speaker 2: it implies that there's something wrong or you know, they 303 00:16:48,614 --> 00:16:51,734 Speaker 2: have a condition. But we really want to reframe that 304 00:16:51,934 --> 00:16:55,374 Speaker 2: to be thinking about it. It's just a different programming 305 00:16:55,454 --> 00:16:58,894 Speaker 2: system and that idea of what society believes being autistic 306 00:16:59,014 --> 00:17:01,934 Speaker 2: is like is actually completely different to reality. 307 00:17:02,654 --> 00:17:04,774 Speaker 1: There's been lots of common threads in the conversations that 308 00:17:04,814 --> 00:17:08,294 Speaker 1: we've had with parents of autistic children and across a 309 00:17:08,374 --> 00:17:13,294 Speaker 1: neurodivergent But do you think there's something that you personally 310 00:17:13,334 --> 00:17:17,254 Speaker 1: would like people to know across Australia about autistic people, 311 00:17:17,334 --> 00:17:20,294 Speaker 1: about autistic children that you think maybe they don't understand. 312 00:17:20,934 --> 00:17:22,614 Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean where to start. 313 00:17:22,614 --> 00:17:25,934 Speaker 2: There's so many things, but I think the overaarching message 314 00:17:25,974 --> 00:17:28,654 Speaker 2: that I want to get out there is what we 315 00:17:28,854 --> 00:17:32,414 Speaker 2: view in the media when we see somebody who is 316 00:17:32,454 --> 00:17:33,654 Speaker 2: autistic is. 317 00:17:33,574 --> 00:17:35,894 Speaker 3: Not really the reality. And going back. 318 00:17:35,694 --> 00:17:37,934 Speaker 2: To what I said before, you know, we talk about 319 00:17:37,934 --> 00:17:41,614 Speaker 2: being autistic. There's a spectrum, but it's not a linear spectrum. 320 00:17:41,934 --> 00:17:45,294 Speaker 2: It's not from less autistic to most autistic, and really 321 00:17:45,694 --> 00:17:48,294 Speaker 2: it's more like a piagraph where we have our strengths 322 00:17:48,334 --> 00:17:51,854 Speaker 2: and then we have our difficulties. It also doesn't correlate 323 00:17:51,934 --> 00:17:55,054 Speaker 2: at all with our intelligence level or our ability to 324 00:17:55,814 --> 00:17:58,854 Speaker 2: know participate in life. Everybody is going to have a 325 00:17:58,854 --> 00:18:03,494 Speaker 2: different experience, just like a neurotypical experience. So I think 326 00:18:03,654 --> 00:18:07,134 Speaker 2: really breaking down that idea of what it means to 327 00:18:07,254 --> 00:18:11,734 Speaker 2: be autistic is so import We have such a varied 328 00:18:11,974 --> 00:18:16,014 Speaker 2: experience across humanity. You know, myself, I'm married, I've got 329 00:18:16,094 --> 00:18:18,974 Speaker 2: two children, I'm working, and that's my experience and that 330 00:18:19,054 --> 00:18:21,934 Speaker 2: might be very, very different to somebody else's experience. But 331 00:18:22,054 --> 00:18:24,734 Speaker 2: often when I tell people that I am autistic, they 332 00:18:24,814 --> 00:18:28,094 Speaker 2: are quite shocked and think, oh, but you're married or that. 333 00:18:28,494 --> 00:18:32,174 Speaker 2: But you're you know, you're thriving, or you have children, 334 00:18:32,614 --> 00:18:36,414 Speaker 2: and you know, I think it's that real idea of Again, 335 00:18:36,454 --> 00:18:39,254 Speaker 2: what we see in the media is not accurate to 336 00:18:39,894 --> 00:18:41,174 Speaker 2: know our lived experience. 337 00:18:42,014 --> 00:18:43,974 Speaker 1: I'd love to get your take on how you feel 338 00:18:44,014 --> 00:18:47,734 Speaker 1: when people say that they're neurodivergence, or someone who's not 339 00:18:47,894 --> 00:18:50,854 Speaker 1: neurodivergence says it's about someone who is is that it's 340 00:18:50,894 --> 00:18:54,534 Speaker 1: their superpower, whether it's autism or ADHD or whatever it 341 00:18:54,614 --> 00:18:58,134 Speaker 1: might be. How do you feel about that take, because 342 00:18:58,134 --> 00:19:00,574 Speaker 1: I know there are some people who feel like it's condescending, 343 00:19:00,694 --> 00:19:02,574 Speaker 1: and then there are others who feel like it is 344 00:19:02,814 --> 00:19:03,254 Speaker 1: the truth. 345 00:19:03,694 --> 00:19:06,974 Speaker 2: I think traditionally that has been used as a bit 346 00:19:07,014 --> 00:19:11,014 Speaker 2: of a narrative, specifically around children, and you know, I 347 00:19:11,134 --> 00:19:14,254 Speaker 2: understand that people may think that you know it uplifts them. 348 00:19:14,334 --> 00:19:16,254 Speaker 2: And you know, for some people that may be true, 349 00:19:16,694 --> 00:19:20,654 Speaker 2: but I think as a whole, it can infantilize a 350 00:19:20,694 --> 00:19:24,014 Speaker 2: little bit the lives of an autistic person. And you know, 351 00:19:24,094 --> 00:19:27,654 Speaker 2: I don't see that being autistic is a superpower for me. 352 00:19:28,414 --> 00:19:31,774 Speaker 2: You know, sure there's strengths and there's also difficulties, But 353 00:19:32,494 --> 00:19:36,454 Speaker 2: I'm just a person who is autistic, and I prefer, 354 00:19:36,534 --> 00:19:38,694 Speaker 2: and I think a lot of the autistic people that 355 00:19:38,774 --> 00:19:41,854 Speaker 2: I know prefer not to go down the superpower path. 356 00:19:42,494 --> 00:19:45,574 Speaker 1: Emily, something I didn't realize until someone recently just told 357 00:19:45,614 --> 00:19:49,734 Speaker 1: me is that kids now use the word autistic in 358 00:19:49,774 --> 00:19:52,414 Speaker 1: a way that say, we as kids would have used 359 00:19:52,454 --> 00:19:55,134 Speaker 1: the word gay as a slur in a negative way 360 00:19:55,454 --> 00:19:57,974 Speaker 1: because we didn't understand probably what it even meant or 361 00:19:58,014 --> 00:20:00,774 Speaker 1: how hurtful it was at the time. But they're using 362 00:20:00,774 --> 00:20:03,534 Speaker 1: the word autistic like that in the schoolyard against each other. 363 00:20:03,614 --> 00:20:06,894 Speaker 1: How do we teach our kids the implications and the 364 00:20:06,974 --> 00:20:09,614 Speaker 1: impacts of using the word like that. 365 00:20:10,534 --> 00:20:13,734 Speaker 2: I'm quite I guess lucky in terms of the schools 366 00:20:13,734 --> 00:20:15,974 Speaker 2: that I work at, I haven't I haven't seen that. 367 00:20:16,094 --> 00:20:17,734 Speaker 3: But I think that really. 368 00:20:17,854 --> 00:20:23,494 Speaker 2: Comes down to the continual conversation about differences and that 369 00:20:23,654 --> 00:20:27,654 Speaker 2: is conversations every day that is validating each other's experiences. 370 00:20:28,374 --> 00:20:32,174 Speaker 2: I think rather than targeting, you know specifically, Okay, we're 371 00:20:32,214 --> 00:20:34,734 Speaker 2: not going to use that word, Let's educate each other 372 00:20:35,254 --> 00:20:39,614 Speaker 2: to understand that there are just different ways of processing 373 00:20:39,654 --> 00:20:42,654 Speaker 2: and different ways that we relate to the world. And 374 00:20:42,734 --> 00:20:45,294 Speaker 2: I think if we do that from the beginning, you know, 375 00:20:45,374 --> 00:20:48,054 Speaker 2: and that might be through you know, from kindergarten we're 376 00:20:48,054 --> 00:20:51,694 Speaker 2: reading books to children about different brain types and carry 377 00:20:51,774 --> 00:20:54,094 Speaker 2: that sort of education all the way up in the 378 00:20:54,134 --> 00:20:58,454 Speaker 2: schooling system and having children understand we are all part 379 00:20:58,494 --> 00:21:01,494 Speaker 2: of the diversity of the world and you know, we 380 00:21:01,534 --> 00:21:02,934 Speaker 2: are all different and that's okay. 381 00:21:03,734 --> 00:21:06,174 Speaker 1: That also too, might help some adults with maybe the 382 00:21:06,214 --> 00:21:11,054 Speaker 1: fear that they experience when talking about or speaking to 383 00:21:11,094 --> 00:21:13,934 Speaker 1: someone who has autism, because I understand that fear I 384 00:21:13,934 --> 00:21:17,054 Speaker 1: think sometimes is the greatest driver in that ignorance, because 385 00:21:17,054 --> 00:21:20,494 Speaker 1: they're worried about saying the wrong thing, about maybe doing 386 00:21:20,534 --> 00:21:24,414 Speaker 1: something that might end in someone with autism reacting badly, 387 00:21:24,694 --> 00:21:26,894 Speaker 1: and so there's that real fear of the unknown in 388 00:21:26,934 --> 00:21:27,654 Speaker 1: that respect. 389 00:21:28,334 --> 00:21:33,294 Speaker 2: Absolutely, there's so much fear I think for parents and carers. Firstly, 390 00:21:33,614 --> 00:21:37,494 Speaker 2: in you know, traditionally when you were told that your 391 00:21:37,574 --> 00:21:40,614 Speaker 2: child is autistic, it was done in a way that 392 00:21:41,174 --> 00:21:43,974 Speaker 2: signified that this was a bad thing, and this was 393 00:21:44,374 --> 00:21:47,254 Speaker 2: something that you know, maybe the end of their life 394 00:21:47,694 --> 00:21:50,694 Speaker 2: or means that they wouldn't have a thriving and a 395 00:21:50,854 --> 00:21:53,894 Speaker 2: bright future. But I think if we can reframe those 396 00:21:53,934 --> 00:21:56,894 Speaker 2: conversations right from the beginning, it takes that fear away. 397 00:21:57,334 --> 00:22:00,614 Speaker 2: When I have spoken at professional development sessions in the 398 00:22:00,654 --> 00:22:05,174 Speaker 2: past and I disclose that I am autistic, people you know, 399 00:22:05,254 --> 00:22:07,174 Speaker 2: they come up to me at the end and they go, wow, 400 00:22:07,294 --> 00:22:08,334 Speaker 2: I've never viewed it. 401 00:22:08,334 --> 00:22:09,254 Speaker 3: Like this before. 402 00:22:09,774 --> 00:22:12,014 Speaker 2: And again that comes right back to that idea of 403 00:22:12,054 --> 00:22:15,214 Speaker 2: what we think being autistic means. So taking away that 404 00:22:15,294 --> 00:22:18,614 Speaker 2: fear for parents as well, right from the get go, 405 00:22:18,614 --> 00:22:22,254 Speaker 2: goes a huge way in making sure that we are 406 00:22:22,814 --> 00:22:24,414 Speaker 2: overall being inclusive. 407 00:22:27,454 --> 00:22:29,334 Speaker 1: We'll leave you with some final things our parents of 408 00:22:29,374 --> 00:22:32,414 Speaker 1: neurodivergent kids want us to know. Someone says she's a 409 00:22:32,454 --> 00:22:34,694 Speaker 1: single mum and so very tired. 410 00:22:34,894 --> 00:22:35,574 Speaker 3: Please help. 411 00:22:35,974 --> 00:22:38,854 Speaker 9: When it's eight forty five in the morning and you're 412 00:22:38,854 --> 00:22:41,614 Speaker 9: already running late and you're trying to get out the door, 413 00:22:41,814 --> 00:22:45,254 Speaker 9: trying to get into school on time. It's those moments 414 00:22:45,374 --> 00:22:50,174 Speaker 9: where it is the simplest things that are the hardest. 415 00:22:50,494 --> 00:22:57,934 Speaker 9: And sometimes I wish when I arrive somewhere exasperated or disheveled, 416 00:22:58,174 --> 00:23:02,574 Speaker 9: that other parents would maybe just go, you got this, 417 00:23:03,134 --> 00:23:07,014 Speaker 9: or you know what, how about just have a seat 418 00:23:07,054 --> 00:23:10,334 Speaker 9: and I'll grab you a cuppa. It's just little things 419 00:23:10,374 --> 00:23:13,254 Speaker 9: that make such a difference, and I wish people knew that. 420 00:23:14,054 --> 00:23:16,854 Speaker 1: Elvira says she's thankful that there's a community out there 421 00:23:16,974 --> 00:23:18,734 Speaker 1: who are supportive and kind. 422 00:23:19,294 --> 00:23:22,134 Speaker 5: I absolutely love both my children with all my heart. 423 00:23:22,294 --> 00:23:25,894 Speaker 5: They are kind, generous, smart, and they have a wonderful 424 00:23:25,894 --> 00:23:29,174 Speaker 5: sense of humor. And I cannot believe how lucky we 425 00:23:29,214 --> 00:23:31,014 Speaker 5: are to be part of the autistic community. 426 00:23:32,814 --> 00:23:35,054 Speaker 1: Thanks for spending some time with us feeding your mind today. 427 00:23:35,174 --> 00:23:37,054 Speaker 1: If you want to get in touch with Emily's company, 428 00:23:37,094 --> 00:23:38,774 Speaker 1: affirm with me. We'll pop the link to it in 429 00:23:38,814 --> 00:23:40,814 Speaker 1: our show notes. And if you keen to hear about 430 00:23:40,894 --> 00:23:44,574 Speaker 1: Mumma MEA's founder Mia Friedman's experience with ADHD, her journey 431 00:23:44,614 --> 00:23:46,894 Speaker 1: to diagnosis, and how she's come to terms with her 432 00:23:46,894 --> 00:23:48,734 Speaker 1: own brain, you can find a link to her No 433 00:23:48,814 --> 00:23:51,174 Speaker 1: Filter episode in the show notes, along with the link 434 00:23:51,214 --> 00:23:53,734 Speaker 1: to listen to Josh Thomas on Claire Stephens show But 435 00:23:53,774 --> 00:23:56,414 Speaker 1: Are You Happy, where he talks about his own autism 436 00:23:56,454 --> 00:24:00,414 Speaker 1: diagnosis too. The quickie is produced by me Claire Murphy 437 00:24:00,414 --> 00:24:03,534 Speaker 1: and our Senior producer Taylor Strato, with audio production by 438 00:24:03,534 --> 00:24:14,374 Speaker 1: Tom lynd