Speaker 1: You're listening to a MoMA Mia podcast.
Speaker 2: Mamma Mia acknowledges the traditional owners of land and waters
Speaker 2: that this podcast is recorded on. If I say no
Speaker 2: to that thing or I don't do that thing they want,
Speaker 2: then those people are going to be upset with me.
Speaker 2: And her point is let them be upset with you.
Speaker 2: It will be all right. Hello, and welcome to Mama
Speaker 2: Mia out Loud. In a moment you are going to
Speaker 2: hear what all that was about. But first, welcome to
Speaker 2: our Friday show. You know out Loud is that on
Speaker 2: Friday we don't talk about the news cycle. We just exhale,
Speaker 2: hold hands, gossip.
Speaker 1: That's pretty much talk you. I also like that we've
Speaker 1: only done two shows in Marina.
Speaker 3: We need a break from the news cycle. It's Trevor Welming.
Speaker 2: Well the world. The world today is Friday, the seventeenth
Speaker 2: of January, and I am a Hollywaynwright.
Speaker 1: I'm me of Friedman, and I'm Jesse Stevens.
Speaker 2: And on today's show, if you haven't already, you are
Speaker 2: going to hear these two words everywhere in your work world,
Speaker 2: and they are apparently the key to peace and to
Speaker 2: dealing with difficult people. Yes, we're talking about let them theory,
Speaker 2: also a different way to shop, a very twisty TV show,
Speaker 2: and two new books that Mia couldn't put down. That's
Speaker 2: our recommendations and our best and worst summer holidays, which
Speaker 2: include My Murderous Domestic Goddess meltdown being a little too
Speaker 2: close to tragedy and Mia not working. But first, Jesse Stevens.
Speaker 3: In case you missed it, you should never ever wear
Speaker 3: a butt plug to an MRI skin no A pending right, Yeah, yeah, okay.
Speaker 3: We are nothing if not helpful, And today I thought
Speaker 3: i'd give you both some advice because I know that
Speaker 3: some of us aren't good with instructions. Maya, you don't
Speaker 3: often read the instructions and so you need them laid
Speaker 3: out too, very clearly, and I want to avoid potential disaster.
Speaker 1: But plug out before scan, Yeah.
Speaker 3: In before fine, just before you scan. Take it out,
Speaker 3: pop it back in.
Speaker 1: After pop it in the waiting room, yeah, pop it out.
Speaker 3: This story is actually a bit of rif I haven't
Speaker 3: been able to stop thinking about it.
Speaker 1: Actually, maybe not in the waiting room. Should I clarify?
Speaker 1: You probably want to go to the bathroom.
Speaker 2: Bathroom?
Speaker 1: Fun?
Speaker 3: Yeah, fine, a twenty two year old woman in the
Speaker 3: US underwent an MRI scan and she did not disclose
Speaker 3: that she was wearing a butt plug. I actually have
Speaker 3: a lot of empathy for this woman because she purchased
Speaker 3: the butt plug on the basis that it was made
Speaker 3: of one hundred percent silicon. It said it with silicon,
Speaker 3: so she didn't think it was relevant that she had
Speaker 3: a butt plug in. However, she read the instruction she did.
Speaker 3: The butt plug had a metal core, and what happens
Speaker 3: is this causes a hazardous reaction between the powerful magnets
Speaker 3: in the machine and the metal parts of the toy.
Speaker 1: And it's also like, don't put your butt in the
Speaker 1: microwave if you've got a butt plug in really yeah,
Speaker 1: because metal. You also don't put metal in the mid
Speaker 1: any metal in them. No metal in an MRI, No
Speaker 1: middle in a microwave, no butt.
Speaker 3: This is I'm learning a lot my bus about it.
Speaker 3: A scan of the image was then circulated on social
Speaker 3: media and you can see that what happened was that
Speaker 3: it was dragged through her body. It caused damage to
Speaker 3: organs and tissues along the way. Oh that's actually bad,
Speaker 3: that's horrible. Reports are that she felt nauseous faint and
Speaker 3: she was screaming in pain. She was rushed to hospital.
Speaker 3: We know that she survived the injuries. We don't know
Speaker 3: much more.
Speaker 1: But I thought you're going to say, we don't know
Speaker 1: how the butt plug actually is, whether the butt plugs. No.
Speaker 1: But the reason that would have happened in that you
Speaker 1: can't have any jewelries because MirOS are all about magnets.
Speaker 1: It would have magnetized the butt plug.
Speaker 2: Oh.
Speaker 1: So I then started like someone trying to pull a
Speaker 1: tampon out through your throat.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so I started reading about this. In the US,
Speaker 3: A few things have happened where someone's gone in with
Speaker 3: a firearm in their pocket and the firearm has discharged. Well,
Speaker 3: that's stupid, that is stupid. But I have empathy for
Speaker 3: this person because it said one hundred percent silicon.
Speaker 1: Call me naive, but I don't understand what a butt
Speaker 1: plug does.
Speaker 3: It stimulates the Do women have a prostate? They don't
Speaker 3: do they? I think they have a part in their button.
Speaker 2: That's look at loe of those vanilla idiots in the world.
Speaker 2: All I really know is that when I was young
Speaker 2: and I first went into a sex shop, remember sex
Speaker 2: shops before you bought all those something that there was
Speaker 2: this big colorful plastic box that a bit like what
Speaker 2: you get kids toys in what I just said, my
Speaker 2: first butt plug, I thought, that's the startup butt plug.
Speaker 2: That's cute. Out ladders.
Speaker 1: We have questions. If there's anyone among you who.
Speaker 3: I'm sure they.
Speaker 1: Send us a voice note, tell us how bout plugs work,
Speaker 1: what they're good for.
Speaker 3: I thought it was more you'd use a butt plug
Speaker 3: during sex, whatever that sex looks.
Speaker 2: Can we just wind up the but to wear it?
Speaker 3: You know, as you go about your date. Your doctor's
Speaker 3: appointment is surprising. I'm not judgmental, as just I didn't
Speaker 3: know that. And we learn new things.
Speaker 1: Sometimes you have to do chores, you have to go
Speaker 1: and get scans, and you need a little treat.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Like Megan says, we're finding joy in every moment.
Speaker 4: You need to get outside your comfort zone. It's not
Speaker 4: about taking risks. It's about getting outside your comfort zone.
Speaker 4: Those first three seconds when you push herself out of bed,
Speaker 4: they blow, but once you're up, it's great.
Speaker 2: Apparently we all needed permission to just back the fuck off.
Speaker 2: American change and motivation expert Meil Robins is selling books
Speaker 2: by the bucket loads and going viral all over the
Speaker 2: Internet with a theory that can be defined in two
Speaker 2: little words, let them let me explain a little bit.
Speaker 2: Fifteen years ago, Meil Robins says she was paralyzed by anxiety,
Speaker 2: but now she tells many other people how to do
Speaker 2: what they've always wanted to do by not procrastinating or
Speaker 2: implementing a five second rule to always jump to action
Speaker 2: when you want you've got something on to do list.
Speaker 2: She's like a big Internet guru, think a slightly less
Speaker 2: academic and less Texan Rene Brown.
Speaker 3: She's got one of the most viral ted talks of
Speaker 3: all time.
Speaker 2: She does, and she has sold more than a million books,
Speaker 2: she has had more than a billion video views. And
Speaker 2: Oprah Winfrey says that this new book that Let Them
Speaker 2: Theory is the best self help book she has ever read,
Speaker 2: which I imagine that Oprah has read a few, she's
Speaker 2: read them.
Speaker 1: On what's interesting. I've been following Meil Robins for quite
Speaker 1: a few years and she's always been on that level
Speaker 1: below the Glennons, the Brenees, certainly you know, the Oprah's,
Speaker 1: and she's been doing some really good work. But with
Speaker 1: this book.
Speaker 2: She's broken.
Speaker 1: She's absolutely broken through.
Speaker 2: And the thing that's interesting about that is it is
Speaker 2: the most simple idea you can imagine. She says that
Speaker 2: the killer cure for anxiety is simple. Stop trying to
Speaker 2: control people around you. Let them do what they want.
Speaker 2: It's not your business. Focus on your business, let them
Speaker 2: get on with theirs, and breathe easy. Here's a little
Speaker 2: grab of her explaining a few examples of times when
Speaker 2: you should just let them.
Speaker 4: I've been in a situation where maybe your buddies organize
Speaker 4: a golf trip and they don't include you, or the
Speaker 4: women in your life go away for a weekend and
Speaker 4: you're not invited, or a friend that you adore is
Speaker 4: dating a real asshole, somebody who's horrible for them.
Speaker 1: Let them.
Speaker 4: I mean, how much does you worrying about it? How
Speaker 4: is that going to change anything?
Speaker 1: It's not.
Speaker 4: How does spending two hundred hours talking to your friend
Speaker 4: about this horrible person over and over and over. How
Speaker 4: does that? How it doesn't let them. If somebody's firing you,
Speaker 4: let them. If your company's going through layoffs, let them.
Speaker 4: It is so liberating when you drop the sword, when
Speaker 4: you just let go.
Speaker 2: It is liberating to drop the sword Maya.
Speaker 1: Everyone's talking about this over summer. You know, she's been
Speaker 1: doing the rounds of podcasts and interviews and there's been
Speaker 1: ne York Time stories and everybody's talking about it. In
Speaker 1: the book This saved my Bacon. On the weekend when
Speaker 1: I was about to do I was feeling so furious
Speaker 1: about a particular situation and something that someone that I
Speaker 1: know had done. I was going to really cause some damage.
Speaker 1: It's a good thing to some situations that I was in.
Speaker 1: This wasn't a work thing. And I thought about this
Speaker 1: and I just thought, let them. And one of the
Speaker 1: biggest things I struggle with is control. And therapists have
Speaker 1: said to me, you know, control through overconcerned, because sometimes
Speaker 1: we think that we're worrying about people and that we're
Speaker 1: being kind and that we're being I say, it's.
Speaker 2: A form of anxiety rights.
Speaker 1: It's also just a form of control. It's also a
Speaker 1: form of you know, I don't like what you're doing.
Speaker 1: I think you could do it better this way. I
Speaker 1: think it would be better if you did it this way.
Speaker 1: And I also know what it's like to expend a
Speaker 1: huge amount of energy feeling enraged or upset about things
Speaker 1: I can't control and that have nothing to do with me.
Speaker 1: In many cases, Donald Trump's being a really good example.
Speaker 1: And this, to me has actually summarized my approach to
Speaker 1: this new Trump regime, like the second time around. Maybe
Speaker 1: that's why it struck such a cause I've literally gone
Speaker 1: let it go. You know, this is the kind of
Speaker 1: the frozen let it go go, But this is let them,
Speaker 1: just like what can I do. I can't change Donald Trump,
Speaker 1: I can't change what ALON must doing. Let them.
Speaker 3: It's powerful, Like you know, I've even found it with
Speaker 3: negative commentary, and I find that quite liberating to just
Speaker 3: go let people think what they're going to think. You
Speaker 3: have no control over that. And I guess one of
Speaker 3: the criticisms of this has been that it's not particularly new,
Speaker 3: but she acknowledges that herself, that this is stoicism, it's Buddhism.
Speaker 3: I've sort of done research into Buddhism over the years,
Speaker 3: and I really like the idea that there's no point
Speaker 3: in resisting the moment. Like the analogy that I always
Speaker 3: think of is you're sitting in traffic and there's a
Speaker 3: traffic jam, and every part of your body is going
Speaker 3: I don't want to be in this moment. I don't
Speaker 3: want to, but it's like, let it happen. No amount
Speaker 3: of resisting is going to change the fact that you're
Speaker 3: in the traffic jam. Like you've just got to take
Speaker 3: a deep breath and move on. And it also reminds
Speaker 3: me of in my nana's She lived with us growing up,
Speaker 3: and she had a thing up on her wall, and
Speaker 3: it was the Serenity prayer, and the serenity prayer says, God,
Speaker 3: grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Speaker 3: the courage to change the things I can, and the
Speaker 3: wisdom to know the difference. And she would always always
Speaker 3: say that. So it's fundamental to so many religions.
Speaker 1: That's recovery program.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I think it's great because the thing is
Speaker 2: is it's true for those big things like you say
Speaker 2: me are about trumpel though you don't want it to
Speaker 2: tip into and placency and apathy and never wanted to
Speaker 2: change anything, but it is particularly useful and I think
Speaker 2: particularly for women in day to day life.
Speaker 1: But just to pin you down on that for a second,
Speaker 1: I literally can't.
Speaker 2: Show you can't. But if the whole world just went
Speaker 2: let's just let them all have their way and doesn't
Speaker 2: matter who you vote for.
Speaker 1: It let them is about person.
Speaker 2: And so she has a few caveats in this, because
Speaker 2: I can hear if that louds are thinking about this,
Speaker 2: they'll be like, but what if the person is bla?
Speaker 2: And what if the person is bla? So in the
Speaker 2: podcast I listened to about it, she had some caveats,
Speaker 2: she said, because one of the ways she talked about
Speaker 2: this a lot was in parenting. She said, you know,
Speaker 2: you've got teenagers and maybe they want to quit a
Speaker 2: sport that you've invested loads of time in, and they've
Speaker 2: invested loads of time and you think it's a mistake
Speaker 2: for them, and blah blah blah and those kind of things.
Speaker 2: So she talked a lot in it about parenting about
Speaker 2: like let them, let them fail, let them fall, let
Speaker 2: them make the mistakes. But she had a few caveats.
Speaker 2: So number one was if it's risky, so you know,
Speaker 2: it's not let them like hoon down the road on
Speaker 2: an ebike at a thousand miles an hour with no helmet,
Speaker 2: like that's not it. If it's discriminatory, so it's not
Speaker 2: just let them be racist. And awful to you or
Speaker 2: a coworker or whatever. That's not it. She said, you
Speaker 2: have to speak up in that situation. She said, if
Speaker 2: you're negotiating your salary, she was very specific about that.
Speaker 2: She said, women in particular, always always negotiate your salary.
Speaker 2: And if someone else's behavior is directly crossing your boundaries,
Speaker 2: which is obviously very male Robin's talk. But also it's
Speaker 2: like if someone else's behavior is actively affecting you.
Speaker 1: If they're abusing you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly. So it's not like just let everyone do anything,
Speaker 2: but it is very freeing. And I don't struggle too
Speaker 2: much with this because I'm not a particularly controlling person,
Speaker 2: although Brent may beg to differ on that point. But
Speaker 2: I was thinking about this that when I get really
Speaker 2: upset about something, so in my personal life. Last year,
Speaker 2: I was really mad with Brent because he chose to
Speaker 2: go away on this weekend. He won't mind me talking
Speaker 2: about this, it's fine. Chose to go away on this
Speaker 2: weekend with his friends. That for various reasons, I thought
Speaker 2: he wasn't going to go it was inconvenient for us,
Speaker 2: one of his friends had dropped out, blah blah blah,
Speaker 2: and I was so mad with him. I was so
Speaker 2: mad with him, and he just went. And she talks
Speaker 2: about this about how it works with partners when you've
Speaker 2: been with someone a long time and you kind of
Speaker 2: think that you're almost one person now and you make
Speaker 2: the decisions, and she's you have to let people be
Speaker 2: who they are. I was spent first twenty four hours
Speaker 2: of him being away just simmering, furious, can't fucking believe it,
Speaker 2: Like this has made my life hard? What a selfish choice?
Speaker 2: And then I got to a let them position, which
Speaker 2: was very much like God, let Brent be Brent, right,
Speaker 2: Like he's a grown up man. He's allowed to do
Speaker 2: things that he wants to do. Every decision he makes
Speaker 2: isn't about me, Like do I really want a partnership
Speaker 2: with somebody who doesn't get to be himself and do
Speaker 2: the things he wants to do, even if I think
Speaker 2: they're stupid.
Speaker 1: It's not hard about them that.
Speaker 3: And I've read parts of the book, but I haven't
Speaker 3: read the whole book.
Speaker 2: I don't think it needs a whole book.
Speaker 3: If my mom has read and said it was.
Speaker 2: Great, I'm sure it is, and she's great. But even
Speaker 2: on her podcast, she explains it in the intro and
Speaker 2: then she goes, you're smart people, you get it. But
Speaker 2: I'm going to talk for another twenty minutes anyway.
Speaker 3: But like, for example, all right, you get home and
Speaker 3: someone's left the milk out on the bench, right, so
Speaker 3: let them. But then there's no milk for you because
Speaker 3: it was left out, and now it's all bad.
Speaker 1: But no, no, it's different. The other part of it
Speaker 1: is also then let me, So it's what can I change.
Speaker 1: Let them is also about it's not just about control,
Speaker 1: it's also about I was listening to her interviewed on
Speaker 1: Glennon's podcast We Can Do Hard Things and Mel Robins
Speaker 1: her parents live far away and she needs two flights
Speaker 1: to go and see them, and for the holidays this
Speaker 1: year she didn't go and fly to see them, wanted
Speaker 1: to stay home to be closer to her children.
Speaker 2: Whatever.
Speaker 1: She said, I feel terrible that I live so far
Speaker 1: away from my parents. I knew they'd be disappointed. I
Speaker 1: wasn't going to visit them for the holidays. But she said,
Speaker 1: let them will.
Speaker 2: And then be disappointed.
Speaker 1: Let them be disappointed. And she said, it doesn't mean
Speaker 1: be an asshole to everybody and be selfish but she said,
Speaker 1: if I want to go and visit them, let that
Speaker 1: be because I want to be a good daughter, not
Speaker 1: because they don't think I'm a good daughter. I remember
Speaker 1: that I'm disappointing them.
Speaker 2: She's very clear about that. You have to let other
Speaker 2: people have feelings about you that you're uncomfortable with. So
Speaker 2: it's that idea of like, if I say no to
Speaker 2: that thing, or I don't do that thing they want,
Speaker 2: then those people are going to be upset with me.
Speaker 2: And her point is let them be upset with you.
Speaker 2: It will be all right.
Speaker 3: And it's often the kind of thing right. I remember
Speaker 3: years ago I made a decision that I knew was
Speaker 3: going to really upset someone. It wasn't that it was
Speaker 3: a mean decision. It was just a decision that would
Speaker 3: impact them and it would disappoint them. And I was
Speaker 3: speaking to a friend and they just went, we have
Speaker 3: no control over their feelings. Trying to manage their feelings
Speaker 3: is kind of manipulative. In fact, you've got to talk
Speaker 3: to them. Maybe they'll hate you for three days. It
Speaker 3: probably will hate you for three days. That's their job
Speaker 3: to go and work through it. It's not yours. But
Speaker 3: two instances where I find this really hard. The first
Speaker 3: is parenting and the second is marriage with parenting. As
Speaker 3: you say, there's.
Speaker 2: Those two really simple little things.
Speaker 3: Yes, exactly. So I've been watching and I'm sure we'll
Speaker 3: talk about this later, but the Jerry Springer documentary that's
Speaker 3: on Netflix, and there's a story of a guy who
Speaker 3: was maybe twenty twenty one, and he started working for
Speaker 3: the Jerry Springer Show and his father was in the
Speaker 3: entertainment industry, and his father was saying to him, what
Speaker 3: you are doing is not good for the world, like
Speaker 3: this show is bad. Right according to the let them theory,
Speaker 3: are you meant to guide your children in that way
Speaker 3: and let them know that a decision.
Speaker 2: The twenty one let them?
Speaker 1: Really no.
Speaker 3: But there's what happens when you see people making such
Speaker 3: bad difference.
Speaker 1: Because of themselves. I imagine is let me, so let
Speaker 1: me tell him what I think. But her point is
Speaker 1: that in parenting or with any of our personal relationships,
Speaker 1: when we try to manage other people's experiences or other
Speaker 1: people's lives, that's a message to them that we don't
Speaker 1: think they can do it themselves. So it's very disempowering.
Speaker 1: She was giving an example of she thinks that she
Speaker 1: prolonged her daughter's anxiety for years because her daughter had
Speaker 1: anxiety and she'd get up in the middle of the
Speaker 1: night and she'd come and she'd try to get into
Speaker 1: bed with Mel and her husband, and Mel would just
Speaker 1: like open the blankets and let her get in. She said,
Speaker 1: I did that for years, And what I told her
Speaker 1: was that, yes, you are correct to be so scared,
Speaker 1: and this isn't a tiny child, this is an older
Speaker 1: child that you can't sleep through the night. Instead of
Speaker 1: helping her face down the fact, I trust that you're
Speaker 1: going to be able to overcome this. And that's the thing. Also,
Speaker 1: back to helicopter parenting. We got this memo that any
Speaker 1: negative feeling that our children had a failure on our
Speaker 1: part and that could lead to terrible But it's the
Speaker 1: opposite of let them.
Speaker 2: But back to that example, your adult child is making
Speaker 2: a choice, a career choice or something that you don't
Speaker 2: approve of. You express your feelings about it, but then
Speaker 2: you have to let them. What's the option. That's what
Speaker 2: what I find very freeing, and I think I've actually
Speaker 2: learned this lesson quite early. You can't stop them, so
Speaker 2: why are you wasting all your energy and destroying your
Speaker 2: personal peace. When she talks about this, she has this
Speaker 2: sort of expression of the thoughts in your head where
Speaker 2: you're going, like, for god sake, what does he think
Speaker 2: he's doing it? Don't and why doesn't she know this?
Speaker 2: Why doesn't she know that? Don't they know if they
Speaker 2: make that blah blah la, It's like that is just
Speaker 2: you and your energy, churning, churning, churning. It's not going
Speaker 2: to change the outcome. The kid who wants to go
Speaker 2: and work at Jerry Springer like obviously not necessarily ideal,
Speaker 2: but I worked in tabloid magazines for years. I'm sure
Speaker 2: my parents were not that proud of me in those moments.
Speaker 2: The thing is is you have to let people be
Speaker 2: who they are, and you're allowed to have your feelings
Speaker 2: about it, but you can't try and control them because
Speaker 2: you can't control them, you know what I mean.
Speaker 3: So it's a useless and suse what I think about
Speaker 3: in marriage, And I struggle with this when you say
Speaker 3: something and when you don't, when something irritates you, when
Speaker 3: you're interrogating whether that's just you, how much it's impacting you.
Speaker 3: Basic example, let's say you are married and your partner
Speaker 3: goes and plays golf for six hours on a Saturday,
Speaker 3: six hours on a Sunday and leaves you with the
Speaker 3: kids let them go and play golf.
Speaker 2: Well, by question, I think that's a negotiation, right, because
Speaker 2: that is crossing a boundary. I reckon in the mel
Speaker 2: Robins framework, that is crossing a boundary. Your boundary might
Speaker 2: be like I am not the default parent all weekend.
Speaker 2: I am not. That is my boundary, So that's different.
Speaker 2: A marriage is a partnership, but that's an important thing, right,
Speaker 2: So you might come to a compromise. You're allowed to
Speaker 2: play god not allowed, but go play golf twice a
Speaker 2: month or whatever, or I'll trade off for this, and
Speaker 2: parents do that naturally all the time. But trying to
Speaker 2: make somebody not like golf anymore and not ever want
Speaker 2: to do it and always, you know what I mean,
Speaker 2: that's the opposite.
Speaker 3: Of life's really hard. I think listening to this and
Speaker 3: reading these I really like this theory and I think
Speaker 3: it really helps, but I think it probably does have limitations.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and it doesn't apply to every single situation.
Speaker 3: And one that I kind of kept thinking about was
Speaker 3: when you live with people who are struggling with mental
Speaker 3: illness and who are not making decisions in their best interest.
Speaker 2: It's really hard.
Speaker 3: Maybe it is the right thing to do.
Speaker 1: I heard her talks hard with Glennon. So she said,
Speaker 1: if you have a friend or a child, or a
Speaker 1: partner or someone in your life, say with depression, she said,
Speaker 1: let me. Part of it is you can create an
Speaker 1: environment in which they can get better, like you can.
Speaker 1: You know, have an agreement that you'll go in every
Speaker 1: morning and you'll lo ope and the curtains so that
Speaker 1: they'll be sunlight in the room. You can play music
Speaker 1: in the house so to lift their spirits. You can
Speaker 1: pick up your friend to take her to the yoga
Speaker 1: class instead of meeting her at the yoga class, so
Speaker 1: that you can be sure that she gets there rather
Speaker 1: than you know. And I've noticed this in friendship too.
Speaker 1: As soon as you give someone advice, whether it's a
Speaker 1: child a friend, they get their back up because you've
Speaker 1: given them a job to do, and you're trying to
Speaker 1: get them to do something that they don't want to do.
Speaker 1: And we are programmed to move towards what's easy and
Speaker 1: away from what's hard. And if you're telling someone to
Speaker 1: do all the time to do what they don't want
Speaker 1: to do. They're going to move away from you, So
Speaker 1: you're going to lose that connection.
Speaker 2: Right, you know what I mean, Like we're not always
Speaker 2: right in our thing of like we know what you
Speaker 2: should be doing, We're not always right, you know, So
Speaker 2: I think you also have to let that in. But
Speaker 2: I heard her talking on the podcast about this in
Speaker 2: terms of friends or family with addiction, and she was
Speaker 2: quite let them about it. She was like, an addict
Speaker 2: has never got sober without wanting to do it themselves.
Speaker 2: So it doesn't mean just let them. Sure have some money,
Speaker 2: spend it on drugs. I don't care. Like obviously, it
Speaker 2: comes back to boundaries, like you have your own boundaries
Speaker 2: about it. You offer them as much support and encouragement
Speaker 2: as possible, but you can't fix that for them, and
Speaker 2: so you have to let them and you have to
Speaker 2: let them get towards their answers. And I think that
Speaker 2: that's really interesting to think about. I think the little
Speaker 2: ways and the big ways. But I think one of
Speaker 2: her main things is it's supposed to bring you more peace,
Speaker 2: So you have more peace and are not constantly stressing
Speaker 2: about everybody because you're like you know what I can't
Speaker 2: fix that?
Speaker 1: Let them out loud as in a moment. We have
Speaker 1: things for you to read, watch and buy. It's the
Speaker 1: records from our summer break, because we did all of
Speaker 1: those things and we are desperate to tell you about them.
Speaker 2: Vibes, ideas, atmosphere, something casual, something fun.
Speaker 1: This is my best recommendation.
Speaker 3: It's Friday, so we want to help set you up
Speaker 3: for your weekend with our very best recommendations. We are
Speaker 3: bursting with them, but we're gonna try and pace ourselves. Holly,
Speaker 3: what's your recommendation for this week?
Speaker 2: My recommendation is a show on Netflix that I know
Speaker 2: lots about louders are watching. It's called Missing You.
Speaker 1: I haven't heard from Josh in eleven years. Maybe it's
Speaker 1: time tried something.
Speaker 2: What about that up?
Speaker 3: I signed you?
Speaker 1: Up? With you and Detective Inspects Kat Donovan. Today we're
Speaker 1: appealing for information regarding the disappearance of Rishie mcgari a.
Speaker 2: Steprel's missing. You're the only one, the conflctor.
Speaker 1: That's number one on Netflix.
Speaker 2: It is number one on Netflix. It is a British
Speaker 2: crime drama. It is written by Harlan Corbyn, who does
Speaker 2: all of those big, twisty British things. He did fool
Speaker 2: me once, which was massive, Right.
Speaker 3: I feel like I watched one years ago and I
Speaker 3: didn't love it, Like maybe it felt a bit cheesy.
Speaker 2: I don't know that everybody's gonna love it, but in
Speaker 2: terms of a show that's really binge able and like
Speaker 2: you kind of like need to know, the setup is
Speaker 2: great in my opinion, which is that so anyone who
Speaker 2: watches Slow Horses also will immediately recognize the lead. She's
Speaker 2: called Rosalind a Laser and she is a British actresses
Speaker 2: and made and she's in Slow Horses and she's one
Speaker 2: of the best things in Slow Horses and she has
Speaker 2: the lead in this and she's a cop. And what
Speaker 2: you find out quite early on is that a her father,
Speaker 2: who was a cop, was murdered, but b eleven years ago,
Speaker 2: the love of her life, the guy who proposed to her,
Speaker 2: who she was building a life with, who she was
Speaker 2: obsessed with, just absolutely disappeared, like just ghosted, entirely disappeared
Speaker 2: from her life, not in a missing person way like
Speaker 2: he cleared out his clothes from the cupboard, he just
Speaker 2: ghosted her. That's a great point, right, Okay, and then
Speaker 2: years later, all these years later, she's matched with him
Speaker 2: on a dating app. Oh wow, And that's where it starts,
Speaker 2: right And then it's like all these things. There are
Speaker 2: like three different storylines going on, because there's also this
Speaker 2: very grim missing person's case that she's working on. And
Speaker 2: as with all cop shows ever, it's like, you're getting
Speaker 2: too close to this case, I'm taking you off it.
Speaker 2: I'm going to keep working on it anyway. Like it's
Speaker 2: got all those tropes that we are very familiar with,
Speaker 2: but it's also twisty and surprising, and it's got some
Speaker 2: really interesting characters in it. And I just once she
Speaker 2: gets matched with this guy, she can't let it go,
Speaker 2: as you wouldn't be able to, and all her friends
Speaker 2: are like, let it go, let it go, And then
Speaker 2: where it leads her. It's really good. It's called Missing You.
Speaker 2: It is not like an artistic masterpiece, but it is
Speaker 2: just something that will give you lots of viewing pleasure
Speaker 2: over a few good hours.
Speaker 3: Maya, how about you.
Speaker 1: I read quite a few books, and two of the
Speaker 1: best that I read over the holidays will buy the
Speaker 1: same author that I've been hearing about for a while.
Speaker 1: Her name's Claire Lombardo. I think they're Reese book club picks.
Speaker 1: I started with her most recent book called Same As
Speaker 1: It Ever Was, that was released last year. All her books,
Speaker 1: or the two books that I read, through the perspective
Speaker 1: of women, often women who were in their forties and fifties,
Speaker 1: and they look at families and family lives and family relationships.
Speaker 1: So it's not about murders or mysteries. It's not like that.
Speaker 1: It's really about interpersonal relationships. So Julia is this only
Speaker 1: stay at home mum who befriends this older woman called Helen.
Speaker 1: And not a huge amount happens, actually, but the characters
Speaker 1: are just really really interesting. It's about career and marriage
Speaker 1: and parenting. It's just really funny. The characters are very
Speaker 1: interestingly drawn, and you just shit a merri pages. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: So they're set in America. And then I'm almost finished
Speaker 1: the one that she wrote before, which is called The
Speaker 1: Most Fun We Ever Had, which is quite famous. She
Speaker 1: wrote that in twenty nineteen, and that's like a multi
Speaker 1: generational novel about the science and family. It focuses on
Speaker 1: this couple called Marilyn and David. They're deeply in love
Speaker 1: after forty years and they've got four daughters, and so
Speaker 1: this is all about themes of sibling rivalry and hidden
Speaker 1: struggles and you know, different timelines and secrets. There's a
Speaker 1: bit more mystery in that one, but they're just really
Speaker 1: really interesting, but a lot about marriage and relationships and parenting,
Speaker 1: but parenting older children.
Speaker 3: I took on your recommendation from last year and read
Speaker 3: Margo's Got Money Trouble?
Speaker 1: Yeah, did you like it?
Speaker 3: And a few out louder said they didn't like it?
Speaker 3: And I must say I'm team Mayer on that. I
Speaker 3: love it so so good.
Speaker 1: So that's being made into a movie or a TV
Speaker 1: series with Nicole Kidman playing I assume the mother, and
Speaker 1: I think it's Dakota Fanning playing Margo.
Speaker 3: Oh nice, Yes, that works for me. I have a
Speaker 3: free app, very late to the party, Deepop. Are either
Speaker 3: of you on Deep Hop?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 2: What is Deepop? I've heard of it, but I have
Speaker 2: never used it.
Speaker 3: So the young cool people in the office, every time
Speaker 3: you say where did you get that? Like, nice skirt,
Speaker 3: nice shirt, they go Deep Hop. And I thought my
Speaker 3: understanding was that it was an app where people like
Speaker 3: bought and sold clothes. But I thought it was designer.
Speaker 3: I thought it was very fancy clothes.
Speaker 1: No, it's low end designer. So it's like label but
Speaker 1: not fancy.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: So I thought I kind of self excluded because I
Speaker 3: was like, it doesn't sound like it's for me.
Speaker 1: Is it like dish and witchery?
Speaker 3: And and I have become obsessed with it. So I
Speaker 3: am a big Facebook marketplace person and this year what
Speaker 3: I'm trying really really hard to do is buy nothing new.
Speaker 3: I think there are enough clothes in the world you
Speaker 3: can do with just buying everything secondhand, and so I'm
Speaker 3: getting them from me and getting them from.
Speaker 2: You actually has a Perkins in the system.
Speaker 3: Exactly right, And I love that. People like where'd you
Speaker 3: get that? And I'm like, it's thrifted from me.
Speaker 1: Yeah. A lot of my stuff isn't right for you,
Speaker 1: like a lot. I mean, God, if I could give
Speaker 1: you some clothes, I'd be stoked. But you've got very
Speaker 1: specific tastes and you don't just take any old thing.
Speaker 2: I don't. I don't.
Speaker 3: But what I love about this is that there's sellers,
Speaker 3: and so you can kind of follow a seller who's
Speaker 3: got a whole lot of stuff that they're selling lots
Speaker 3: of Australian based stuff. They do books, they do art,
Speaker 3: they do all of it. So it's more kind of
Speaker 3: clothes based and marketplace.
Speaker 2: Do you know that it's going to be good quality?
Speaker 2: Because the thing about secondhand and testing is if you
Speaker 2: haven't touched it, felt it, smelt it, how do you
Speaker 2: know it's going to be good? Is the reason Deepop
Speaker 2: got a good reputation is because it's.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it is good.
Speaker 3: It's I've not heard of people having those experiences. Like
Speaker 3: people are pretty honest. Like you get lots of photos
Speaker 3: and that kind of thing, and so it'll have a price,
Speaker 3: like it'll say this is fifty bucks, but you can
Speaker 3: offer thirty or whatever. So you do of back and forth.
Speaker 3: But I'm absolutely loving it. Really easy to use, and
Speaker 3: then you get a bit of a I quite like
Speaker 3: the algorithm then gives you a bunch of suggestions. So
Speaker 3: it's like my most use app now. I just I
Speaker 3: don't hardly buy anything.
Speaker 1: What things have you been buying? Yeah, it's nice to
Speaker 1: window shop.
Speaker 3: I bought this dress the other day. You will find
Speaker 3: pieces that like you're not going to find anywhere else,
Speaker 3: that are cheap and that are probably like five years
Speaker 3: old or whatever. That someone bought in the US.
Speaker 2: Is it good for looking for something specific? Like if
Speaker 2: I'm hunting, so I.
Speaker 1: Needed from like it would be all that kind of stuff.
Speaker 1: And so what I like about it is that it's
Speaker 1: a you know, the real real does designer. That's if
Speaker 1: you want to do second that the marketing second and designer.
Speaker 1: But deep Hop is like fast fashion.
Speaker 3: Yeah, fast fashion circular, which is really good. But like
Speaker 3: I needed hiking boots over the break, and I could
Speaker 3: buy any hiking boot I could buy in a shop.
Speaker 3: I don't need brand new hiking boots. Yeah, so that
Speaker 3: kind of stuff.
Speaker 1: Was really tried. Selling some of your stuff.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think I will.
Speaker 2: I don't have anything, but you'll buy the new just
Speaker 2: clothes or everything in the world.
Speaker 3: Well, I don't really buy a new furniture. I've always
Speaker 3: done like Marketplace and stuff for furniture. I actually find
Speaker 3: it more enjoyable.
Speaker 1: But I'm going to try.
Speaker 2: Generally like really good.
Speaker 3: Yeahs it's making me all the consumerism it war So anyway,
Speaker 3: Deep Hop great.
Speaker 1: I'm actually going to be doing in the next few
Speaker 1: months a big sale of all of my clothes too.
Speaker 1: You need to get on Deepot raise money. I think
Speaker 1: I'm going to do it with debay. Can I have
Speaker 1: a fund to raise money. Well, I'm going to raise
Speaker 1: money for a rise up.
Speaker 2: I can give you money for rise up. I'll buy
Speaker 2: from you.
Speaker 1: You can have first look. Yeah, well it's going to
Speaker 1: all be coming into the office and we're going to
Speaker 1: we'll do we'll follow along on on socials as we
Speaker 1: put it all together, because we've got a catalog at
Speaker 1: all and photograph at all.
Speaker 2: And I have said one of my recommendations, actually I
Speaker 2: got a lot of it because I've missed me obviously in
Speaker 2: the holidays is watching her try on all her jeens
Speaker 2: on Instagram. I love them, waiting to know. I'm just
Speaker 2: at home watching you try and jeans.
Speaker 3: I must have blocked that contract from my peee.
Speaker 2: And she was like she's tried on like every pair
Speaker 2: of jeans in a closet. She's like, these ones are
Speaker 2: too blue, these ones are too high, these and I
Speaker 2: was like, love this content.
Speaker 1: These ones are too hungry. And sometimes I would just
Speaker 1: say this is never coming back because they wouldn't do
Speaker 1: off you.
Speaker 2: This is definitely out of style.
Speaker 1: Now, Like okay, Holy's like I'll take that father.
Speaker 2: I've just been watching me A's arsle holdays after the break,
Speaker 2: a domestic goddess disaster, vacation mode, and New year disappointments.
Speaker 2: It's best and worst.
Speaker 3: Every Tuesday and Thursday, we drop new segments of MUMMYA
Speaker 3: out Loud Just for MUMMYA subscribers. Follow the link in
Speaker 3: the show notes to get your daily dose of out
Speaker 3: Loud and a big thank you to all our current subscribers.
Speaker 1: It's that part of the show where we reflect on
Speaker 1: our week. Well, the years just started, but every week
Speaker 1: has a high point and a low point or maybe
Speaker 1: so rule and today out Loud as we are bringing
Speaker 1: you the best and worst, not just of our week,
Speaker 1: but from our whole summer break since we last spoke
Speaker 1: to you basically.
Speaker 3: Which was what three weeks ago.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Jesse, let's kick off with you. What is your
Speaker 1: worst of the summer break?
Speaker 3: Okay, my worst it was the cricket.
Speaker 1: Hear me out.
Speaker 3: You think you thinks, corresponding that you're going to have
Speaker 3: quality time with your partner. This might not be everyone's experience.
Speaker 3: Some people love cricket, but this was just my experience.
Speaker 3: Is it a gets a boxing day and you go,
Speaker 3: we're away, We're up the coast me. You were there,
Speaker 3: and I think this is going to be lovely. As
Speaker 3: a family. We don't get a lot of these days
Speaker 3: to just hang out, to reconnect, to go for swim,
Speaker 3: to talk, to reflect on the universe. But instead there
Speaker 3: is what seventeen hours of cricket.
Speaker 2: Also, it was exciting, apparently a lot of shouting cricket.
Speaker 2: This is not my sport, but there was a lot
Speaker 2: of shouting in.
Speaker 3: There was shouting and you just lose someone for days
Speaker 3: at a time.
Speaker 1: Oh see, this was my best, one of my best.
Speaker 3: I found it so annoying. And then every year I go,
Speaker 3: I like sport. I could get into this and I
Speaker 3: sit down and I go, all right, what are we doing?
Speaker 3: Are we doing about? And then we're doing a ball? Great,
Speaker 3: what do we want this guy to do? What do
Speaker 3: we want to happen here? And they say, well, if
Speaker 3: he hits the stump spot and they explain it, then
Speaker 3: something else happens and everyone cheers, and I'm like, I'm
Speaker 3: not following. We went to the pub one day. I
Speaker 3: think you were looking after Luna Maya and I was like,
Speaker 3: let's reconnect, and so Luca and I went up to
Speaker 3: the pub phone out watching the cricket like so antisocial.
Speaker 1: See I didn't watch. I don't think a minute of it.
Speaker 2: But what I really.
Speaker 1: Love about the cricket is I love being around people
Speaker 1: but not having to actually talk to them or engage
Speaker 1: with them. I also like that not everybody's on the
Speaker 1: individual devices. It's the only one of the few communal activities.
Speaker 1: So the TV's on, the cricket's on. I don't know,
Speaker 1: it just feels like summer to me. The noise of
Speaker 1: it in the background.
Speaker 3: I wish I was a part of it.
Speaker 1: Reading my book. Oh no, I don't want to be
Speaker 1: a part of it. So it's too stressful. I find
Speaker 1: it enormously stressful.
Speaker 2: I know there are lots of women who love cricket,
Speaker 2: so I don't mean to stereotype, but I have the
Speaker 2: same problem that you. My family loves cricket. It loves cricket,
Speaker 2: Lots of my friends love criocket. The problem is that
Speaker 2: when you walk in the room and you say who's winning,
Speaker 2: they can't answer that question. Where is it? Every other
Speaker 2: sport you can answer that question, Yeah, where are we?
Speaker 3: What's happening? No one can answer it. And then suddenly
Speaker 3: someone with like god, yeah, and then it finishes two
Speaker 3: days early. Like I don't I don't understand how the
Speaker 3: sport works. Okay, my best was actually my birthday. So
Speaker 3: we broke just before my birthday. And I've spoken a
Speaker 3: lot about this.
Speaker 2: Is that not really just your birthday anymore? No?
Speaker 3: Exactly right. All three make Clara Matilda our birthday. And
Speaker 3: for pretty much as long as I've been with Luca,
Speaker 3: haven't done anything for my birthday because I have this
Speaker 3: fear that no one's going to come. Time of year,
Speaker 3: all of that, and then I got to a week
Speaker 3: out and I went, no, screw this. I love it
Speaker 3: when someone has a birthday thing because I like going
Speaker 3: and I can't just leave it to them. And so
Speaker 3: I said, I'm going to this RSL on my birthday
Speaker 3: for a drink at five o'clock. You can come or
Speaker 3: you can not come. I'll be there with a margarita.
Speaker 3: Pretty Much everyone came.
Speaker 2: I couldn't believe it.
Speaker 3: I looked around and they were like, that's fifteen twenty
Speaker 3: people there. On the twenty first of December, which was
Speaker 3: a Saturday night, had the most lovely night and didn't
Speaker 3: go to bed with that regret of like maybe I
Speaker 3: should have done something to celebrate or went to the Wiggles,
Speaker 3: which was lovely today.
Speaker 1: Yeah, my worst coincidentally, was that you didn't invite me.
Speaker 3: Well, I needed a babysitter, didn't I.
Speaker 1: Yeah, fair, I'll take one for the team. As Jessie said,
Speaker 1: we were away up the North coast out of Oka
Speaker 1: Beach with our family over the Christmas break. We've been
Speaker 1: going up to Avocus since I was about four years old,
Speaker 1: so almost fifty years. This year, on Christmas Eve, a
Speaker 1: fifteen year old called Luca Bennett was swept off the
Speaker 1: rocks with two of his friends up there. He drowned
Speaker 1: and for the next few days until his body was recovered,
Speaker 1: family and friends gathered on those rocks, which were just
Speaker 1: about one hundred meters from where we were staying, and
Speaker 1: it was so tragic. It was just the most tragic,
Speaker 1: tragic thing that was just a reminder that things can
Speaker 1: happen out of the blue. My youngest son is about
Speaker 1: the same age I, like Luca, grew up going to
Speaker 1: those rocks and it was just surreal to be having
Speaker 1: this beautiful time with our family while watching the family
Speaker 1: and friends of this young guy who just had his
Speaker 1: whole life ahead of him. It was just incredibly confronting
Speaker 1: and distressing.
Speaker 3: And to have that nightmare unfold yeah from you, and
Speaker 3: to see it, to watch the grief, oh yeah, over
Speaker 3: days and the work of the lifeguards and the rescue crew,
Speaker 3: and the amount of people that that tragedy touched.
Speaker 1: And the different groups of people that would come. There
Speaker 1: was a little memorial made with flowers, and they had
Speaker 1: like a can of milow and his photo and people
Speaker 1: writing messages, and the group of lifesavers would calm and
Speaker 1: everyone would applaud them, and they had a vigil and
Speaker 1: the parents and you know, our heart goes out to anybody.
Speaker 1: There's never a good time or an easy time to
Speaker 1: lose a loved one, but there's something about the poignancy
Speaker 1: of it being around Christmas that was just devastating. My
Speaker 1: best of my holiday break was not working, and I
Speaker 1: just spent three straight weeks just with family and doing
Speaker 1: nothing and producing nothing. And I usually have a really
Speaker 1: hard time adjusting from the frantic nature of work to
Speaker 1: switching off, and I always need to throw myself into
Speaker 1: a project or teach myself a new thing, or start
Speaker 1: a new idea or write something. And I had all
Speaker 1: these plans for I was going to do this audio
Speaker 1: s heres and I was going to do this and
Speaker 1: that didn't do any of it. It was going to write
Speaker 1: all these new newsletters, didn't do any of it. I
Speaker 1: didn't post anything really except for that Jane's content, which
Speaker 1: I'd actually made a couple of months before. I just
Speaker 1: had forgotten about it, and I just felt really good.
Speaker 1: I just let myself just not create anything, because so
Speaker 1: much of my self worth and my just the only
Speaker 1: thing I know how to do is make stuff and produce, produce, produce,
Speaker 1: and work work work, work, work, And it was just
Speaker 1: that special time when you can't get it at any
Speaker 1: other time of the area, where its feel like if
Speaker 1: you're fortunate enough to be able to have time off
Speaker 1: over Christmas, it's like worth ten times that same amount
Speaker 1: of time at any other time of year because no
Speaker 1: one's else's working, so it's not like you need to
Speaker 1: still check your inbox and you need to still be
Speaker 1: on slack and you need to I could just come.
Speaker 3: I thought your best was going to be me to
Speaker 3: my family Christmas.
Speaker 2: Oh.
Speaker 1: I did love that. I did love coming to your
Speaker 1: family Christmas and me, I mean I know those almost
Speaker 1: everyone I met a couple of new people, but that
Speaker 1: was great. I really loved it. Because we had to
Speaker 1: we usually have a bunch of people at our place,
Speaker 1: we had to cancel that, and so we decided because
Speaker 1: I like a bit of Christmas year yep, So Coco
Speaker 1: and I came to that on the way coast and
Speaker 1: it was beautiful.
Speaker 2: I'm very impressed by your best because you have often
Speaker 2: said all the years i've known you that you really
Speaker 2: struggle with holidays, and I remember you wrote about it
Speaker 2: once and a lot of people felt really seen by
Speaker 2: that because I think the default for all of us
Speaker 2: is like we love holidays, love holidays, and I love holidays.
Speaker 2: But it's really interesting that you're changing. Yeah, growing, she's growing, Jesse.
Speaker 1: This time last year I was in a really bad place,
Speaker 1: just I was just not great. And this year I
Speaker 1: just really appreciated. I loved that for you, the unclenching.
Speaker 2: Although I'm upset to know that my Geen's content wasn't
Speaker 2: it wasn't fresh. My best and worst are actually into
Speaker 2: because I'm going to do it a bit back to
Speaker 2: from because my best was actually that Also, I had
Speaker 2: three weeks of doing nothing, which was glorious, and I
Speaker 2: also pretty much had three weeks at home. Now, we
Speaker 2: nearly always go away holidays. Usually my parents come. It's
Speaker 2: obviously really not great that they couldn't come this year,
Speaker 2: but we had three very quiet weeks. We came out
Speaker 2: with Sydney for a few days, but apart from that,
Speaker 2: we were just home. And I loved being home, which
Speaker 2: is growth for me because I do not really I
Speaker 2: don't really love being I'm not really a home person,
Speaker 2: but I'm becoming one. And I loved it. I loved it,
Speaker 2: loved it. But the worst part of it is that
Speaker 2: I also am overreaching in my domestic Godess, stay this,
Speaker 2: I'm trying. I feared this woulden too hard and failing badly.
Speaker 2: So we hosted for Christmas. We had our big potty
Speaker 2: of our Sydney family friends.
Speaker 3: How many people did you have?
Speaker 2: We had three other families, so we had lots of children,
Speaker 2: We had three dogs, We had like the whole thing
Speaker 2: staying at our house for a few days.
Speaker 3: I'm so sorry, Megan, show didn't drop before you could
Speaker 3: have really.
Speaker 2: Done with that. I made a Christmas lunch and that
Speaker 2: all actually went quite well. One of my friends really
Speaker 2: wanted pineapple and cheese on sticks. And I did that
Speaker 2: and that looked really ugly, but it was delicious. Anyway.
Speaker 2: That went really well. But then I got over confident,
Speaker 2: and so later in the holidays when we had some
Speaker 2: friends come to visit, some of Brent's friends we hadn't
Speaker 2: seen for ages, and they came for like a late lunch,
Speaker 2: and I said, I've got this. I'm going to do
Speaker 2: a slow roasted lamb shoulder. You know, one of those
Speaker 2: ones that falls apart you see on the TV and
Speaker 2: you have with like a salad and a wrack. I'm
Speaker 2: going to do that. No, they take a long time.
Speaker 1: Did you start an hour before?
Speaker 2: And I didn't ask. I've got a domestic goddess friend, Tory.
Speaker 2: I should have asked her. I didn't ask her. Happened
Speaker 2: to bump into her in the shops two hours into
Speaker 2: this incident. I said, I'm making a slow ro slam
Speaker 2: for lunch, because darling, you're not. You're not making a
Speaker 2: slow row slam for lunch. It would have needed to
Speaker 2: be in four hours or any So. Yeah, these lovely
Speaker 2: people arrive. The lamb's raw. Oh no, everyone sits down.
Speaker 2: I give everyone a drink, a bit of hummus. I'm like,
Speaker 2: he'll be ready, and it was like five o'clock, still
Speaker 2: not ready to have six.
Speaker 1: O'clock, still not ready, like.
Speaker 2: Was his lun And then I got really annoyed with
Speaker 2: myself and everybody else saw ruined Brent. Obviously, I just
Speaker 2: wanted everyone to go, but I didn't give them any food.
Speaker 1: Did you make them leave with some raw lamb in
Speaker 1: a billy.
Speaker 2: And the man in the other family ross he went,
Speaker 2: just can I look at this lamb? And I was
Speaker 2: like no, And I was like okay, and he gets
Speaker 2: it out and he goes babe shaking anyway, so he
Speaker 2: sliced it anyway. So that was I overreached and it
Speaker 2: was edible. It was edible, but it was like dry
Speaker 2: and wrong and just not and I got very upset,
Speaker 2: and then it was tense and everyone was tense, and
Speaker 2: I had to send my friends a message the next
Speaker 2: day saying I'm really sorry that I got so upset
Speaker 2: about lunch.
Speaker 1: Megan Martin doesn't have to worry about you cutting her.
Speaker 3: Grass about thirty I thought that's just what lamb tasted like,
Speaker 3: because I thought that lamb you chewed it for two
Speaker 3: and a half minutes before swallowing it, because that's the
Speaker 3: lamb my impatient mother made.
Speaker 2: And Billy gets over stimulate. There was a disastrous afternoon
Speaker 2: and then we killed a tree in the garden, like
Speaker 2: because also overreaching. I thought I could repot this beautiful
Speaker 2: little tree that lives in a pot and our thing
Speaker 2: because the go back to work. The roots have broken
Speaker 2: out of the pot and started going under the house.
Speaker 2: I thought that can't be good, so I'll just saw
Speaker 2: those off the tree and that's I'm not like, it's
Speaker 2: actually really sad that the tree died. So now I'm
Speaker 2: looking around for a new tree. I like I'm overreaching.
Speaker 2: I'm trying too hard. So my best my to intertwined.
Speaker 2: I love being home. It was peaceful, it was glorious.
Speaker 2: But I need to get a hold of myself.
Speaker 1: I am not to naturally recalibrate. I think it's tomato.
Speaker 2: Back to lettuce tomatoes. I know you're right, that is it,
Speaker 2: I think. For our wonderful Friday show, we hope you've
Speaker 2: enjoyed it, and a massive thank you out loud As
Speaker 2: for being back with us this week. We're going to
Speaker 2: be back in your ears, of course on Monday, Jesse
Speaker 2: and Mia read us out.
Speaker 1: A big thank you to our team. Group executive producer
Speaker 1: Ruth Divine, who says that the older she gets, the
Speaker 1: bigger her, Let the fucket bucket becomes.
Speaker 3: Executive producer Emmeline gazillis a fierce believer in let them.
Speaker 3: How else do you think she deals with us?
Speaker 1: Let those pictures, as she says. Our audio producer is
Speaker 1: Leah Porges, who says that hanging onto friendships where it's
Speaker 1: become a one way street, is a road to nowhere.
Speaker 1: And so she says, I can't control their behavior, so
Speaker 1: I don't try. She just lets them.
Speaker 3: Video producer Josh Green is a musician, so yeah, everyone's
Speaker 3: going to judge his performance, but who cares. He is
Speaker 3: up on stage having fun. Let them hate it if
Speaker 3: they want to, but we don't. We don't, No, we
Speaker 3: don't love it.
Speaker 2: Ow loud As. If you're not quite ready to say goodbye,
Speaker 2: please remember that. This week on our subscriber episodes, we've
Speaker 2: been unpacking all the topics, all the things that happened
Speaker 2: in the news cycle that we were desperate to talk about.
Speaker 1: Golden Globes.
Speaker 2: So we talked about the Golden Globes gave her fashion rundown.
Speaker 2: We talked about Hugh Jackman and the timing of that
Speaker 2: very public outing. We talked about the divorce letter that
Speaker 2: Ariana Grande's new boyfriend's ex wife wrote.
Speaker 3: And the latest on the Justin Baldonian Blake Lively.
Speaker 2: Links to those episodes are of course in the show notes.
Speaker 2: We'll see you next week. Bye.
Speaker 1: Shout out to any Mum and Maya subscribers listening. If
Speaker 1: you love the show and want to support us as well,
Speaker 1: subscribing to Mom and Miya is the very best way
Speaker 1: to do so. There is a link in the episode
Speaker 1: description